#I'm still on the verge of tears actually

[ktyekmrf30]

With GMMTV series I always have a clear distinction. When it's a adaptation of a popular novel, I'm quite aware while watching that the script was completely rewritten by the different team, and in most cases it was for the better (it took a lot of effort to make on screen a green flag characters for My School President and Star in My Mind characters and I really mean it, I hope all the scriptwriters got a bonus for how much effort they put into making the couples' relationships in these series healthy - unlike the novel). So yes, I quite clearly separate the characters from the series from those written in the novel. For my sanity and faith in my favorite characters. They're are two completely different people for me.

But there are series where they wrote the script and the novel appeared as an addition and based on the script and team's notes (NLMG, Kidnap, ThamePo). In this case, I perceive the novel as an addition to what the director does not have time to tell about on the screen due to reasons. So this is just something canon about characters for me but unseen in the series.

And with ThamePo? Oh God, my heart cries for Po.

source

I assumed from the first few episodes that he was in a toxic relationship, but I didn't realize how abusive it was. And how much it destroyed Po as a person and now I feel like I looked at him with new eyes.

What hurts even more now is how much Po hasn't lost faith in people and how much his bright naive soul wants to help Thame reunite the group, even if it means he might end up getting hurt again, especially after such a big betrayal from his ex. And that scene where Po remembers Jun's words about how Thame would forget about him once the group reunites? Now it hits me in a completely different way because at that exactly moment Po in his mind was trying to deny the fact that he had met someone like Earn again. Because he had faith in Thame. May sound stupid, but it's just so inherent in his character. And because he and Thame aren't that close at this moment, it wasn't the pain for him, no. It was disappointment. And not so much in Thame but in people in general. I understand him, I experienced it once too.

And that's why the moment when Po decides to enter into a relationship with Thame will be so precious to him. Not only because he decided to start relationship with an idol knowing that it would be hidden and it would be a secret relationship again (like with ex). For him it was also a matter of trust, fear of the situation repeating itself, the question of what he is worth and what he has achieved as an independent human being and how he cannot lose this with new relationship again. Because it will destroys him.

And I can't even begin to write how angry I am about everything involving Earn now. I hate people like him. Uncle Joei and Baifern's words about him make so much sense now after knowing all of this, and yes, that asshole at least needs to go bankrupt in the finale. It's not enough for me to think that Thame is going to punch Earn in the face one day, to protect Po I need a gun.

[aq2003]

twelfth night is not a Shakespeare I have read or seen but now I’m a bit terrified of ever consuming it. I definitely would never touch that audio drama with a 10 foot pole though (so so tempting. I might give in)

i was normal about twelfth night and held many normal emotions about it i really liked it for being this fun very messy queer drama until i listened to david tennant malvolio which ruined my life i cannot stress enough all of my evil derangements are because of david tennant malvolio if he had not done any of that i would have been FINE

[laugtherhyena]

What the fuck.

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

Cards and Casts

Part five of The Rain series

Synopsis: Ace and Deuce's visits to The Prefect in the infirmary after Ramshackle's collapse

TW: Aftermath of Ramshackle collapsing on The Prefect, Ace is out of it, Deuce is (more) all over the place than usual (in a trying to process things kinda way)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 (here), Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 (coming soon), . . .

The next person to come and visit you was Ace.

The moment the news had been announced, Ace was already booking it to sign up to see you. At the time, it hadn't yet been announced that the further up on the list you were, the sooner you'd get to see The Prefect; Ace was just desperate to sign his name as soon as he could. It was almost as if he thought doing so would in a way prove that he did care. That it would redeem him for not being there when you needed him. That it would make him feel less guilty.

A knock was heard from the other side of the infirmary door. You had been told that your next visitor would be ace, but Ace never knocked.

You rand the little bell next to your bed to tell whoever it was to come in (you had a bell because you couldn't yet raise your voice much).

An unfamiliar boy walked through the door. His hair was a ruffled mess, his clothes were wrinkled, and there were dark circles under his eyes. It took you a moment to realize it was actually Ace who stood before you. He looked like a mess. He didn't even have his signature red heart painted on his face.

The smile he gave you looked strained, but you didn't comment on it.

You ended up having to beckon the boy closer after he had been standing in the doorway for a good five minutes. He dropped his shoulders and basically hobbled to your bedside. He nearly toppled over as he tried to take a seat, but caught himself at the last moment.

Tick Tick Tick Tick

"I. . .I brought cards."

And so, that's how you ended up playing a few games of Rummy with him. But he was still off. He was playing like an absolute novice. He was letting you win. He NEVER lets you win.

Eventually, you had had enough, and you set down your cards with a scuffed huff. He didn't even notice!

You carefully reached up a hand and pushed his cards down onto the bed and he just let them tumble.

"Ace." Your voice was gruff, but still somehow airy.

"Oh, uh, yeah?" Ace seemed to snap out of a trance. . .well, more like slowly drift out of.

You tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look directly at you. You thought about asking if he was okay, but the answer to that question was pretty obvious. You didn't ask him what was wrong for the same reason. Instead, you took a deep breath and held it as you painfully shifted over in the bed. You did your best not to make a noise as not to worry the already clearly upset boy.

Ignoring your screaming body, you mustered your best smile (your bandages kept it from reaching your eyes though) and gently patted the space next to you on the bed.

Ace gave you a hesitant look, but you just patted the space again to tell him it was okay. He wouldn't hurt you simply by sitting next to you.

When he finally did sit next to you, you let your head rest against his shoulder. Neither of you spoke

Tick Tick Tick Tick

When the silence was finally broken it was with a single mumbled word: "sorry."

"Hm?" you coughed.

". . .I-I'm sorry." His voice wasn't much louder, but you could hear it this time.

You slowly picked your head up and looked at him incredulously "What for?"

"I wasn't there."

"You knew Ramshackle would collapse?"

"No, I-"

"If you were there, you would have gotten hurt too."

"No! I could have helped. . .I could have-"

"No. No, you couldn't."

He went silent and his face fell before tightening slightly in the way it does only when someone is on the verge of tears.

"Nobody could have stopped it after it started. Nobody could have made it out in time either." Your voice reduced to a croak, but you continued. "You didn't know the dorm would collapse. It's not your fault-"

"Still!" His voice raised and a waver in his tone became apparent "If I was there, I-"

"Would have gotten hurt too. Then I would be too worried about you to do any healing myself." You could tell your voice wouldn't hold out much longer, so you said one more thing: "It's not your fault. You're doing all you can now by being here and being safe. Thank you."

Tears dripped steadily from the boy's face, but he didn't make a sound.

You lightly took his hand in yours, and you sat like that for hours. Together and safe.

Deuce walked in not long after Ace left.

He walked into the room silently and took a seat next to your bed.

"How are you doing?"

You were about to grab the notebook and pencil next to your bed to write a response as your voice was shot, but she spoke up again before you got the chance.

"Wait, no! That was a dumb question!"

Before he could start further rambling, you shook your head and began to write: 'I'm doing much better. I appreciate you asking.'

Deuce sighed and began fiddling with his hands. "Does. . .does it still hurt?"

You took a moment to think about whether or not you should answer his question truthfully, but ultimately decided not to lie. 'It still hurts, but not as much."

Deuce frowned, but nodded.

'I bet I'll get some cool scars! Like battle scars. We'll match!' You scribbled out sloppily as you weren't exactly able to properly hold a pen with your hands looking like a mummy's. It was meant as an attempt to cheer him up, but he only frowned further.

"You shouldn't have scars. You're a good person."

It was you're turn to frown. 'You're a bad one?'

Before Deuce could reply, you tapped the space next to you: telling him to sit.

Similarly to Ace, he hesitated, but you eventually got him to sit next to you on the bed.

He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off again. This time you did so by dragging his arm closest to you onto your lap and grabbing a marker off of the nightstand. You uncapped the marker and rolled up his sleeve.

Deuce was too stunned and confused to say a word as he watched you scribble little pictures on his arm. The pictures were cartoony renditions of various times he'd done kind things for you. When you were done he finally snapped out of his daze.

"Wait! I should be the one cheering you up! First I let you get hurt, and now I can't even comfort you properly! I-I can't do anything right!" Deuce's head falls into his hands and you watch as tears fall onto the sheets.

A marker slips into Deuce's hand and he looks over at you with confused, tear-filled eyes.

You point to the cast on your leg. A blank slate. 'A drawing from you on my cast would make me happy'

"But. . .I can't draw-"

You cut him off by basically shoving the notebook in his face. 'Doesn't matter. Anything you draw will remind me of you, and thinking of my friends will make me happy.'

He ends up doodling a flower and an endearingly poor depiction of him, Ace, Grim, and you together and signing his name.

For the rest of his visit, you take turns doodling different things in your notebook and adding funny little details to each other's drawings.

When Deuce finally leaves, you let out a breath you had been holding. Your face contorts in pain and a soft whimper leaves your throat.

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[talaok]

Training

Pairing: Peter Parker x f!reader

Summary: Peter has never been able to last enough to take care of you, but as it turns out... practice does make perfect.

Warnings: talk about premature ejaculation, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, sub!peter and lots of pet names for spidey.

he was always so desperate around you. He was always shy about it, but every time you gave him permission his hands never left your body.

He was so fucking in love with you it was actually a little bit scary.

Nobody had ever made him feel the way you did, and not just sex-wise (although goddamn wasn't that the best thing ever), no, but feelings-wise- like he could breathe more easily around you, like he felt light and soft and the word was perfect whenever you were near.

And everything really was perfect... except one little thing.

he couldn't last.

You weren't making it a big deal, being that you were also teaching him every other way he could make you come, but still, he wanted to do it... he so desperately wanted to feel your walls squeeze him as you came that he was willing to do anything... but it was just so hard.

Andit never got easier...

"c'mon baby" you purred, taking his face in your hands "You can do it, think of something else," you said, out of breath as you bounced on his cock "Anything else baby, I'm almost there"

His eyes were shut close.

He'd found that he didn't even stand a chance at lasting more than 2 minutes if he was watching you.

And he tried, he really tried to get his mind to make something up, to will it to find something else to focus on, but-

"you feel so good y/n- I-I can't"

"yes you can" you shut him up with a messy kiss "You wanna be my good boy, baby?" you ask, eliciting a whimper from his throat

"y-yes" he choked out, not sure how he still hadn't burst

"Yeah?" you breathed "Then you're gonna have to be good and wait a little more" you moaned, his dick hitting a particularly good spot "Can you do that for me, baby? can you wait a little more?"

"mh-mh" he hummed, sounding on the verge of tears

"good boy" you moaned, your nails scratching his chest, as he stretched you so incredibly well "fuck-you feel so good" you cried, your voice drowning out the sound of your skin slapping with his "s-so big baby" you moaned again "s-so f-fucking-"

And then, just like that, it happened- the most extraordinary thing he'd ever felt.

You came, you came on his cock- you came because of him (although, let's be honest, you did all the work), and it felt-

he didn't even have words for it, he only groaned louder than he had ever done, and finally (and inevitably) reached his own release as your walls squeezed his dick and your moans filled the air.

He was grinning like an idiot the moment you opened your eyes back up, and you couldn't help but laugh "You liked it?"

"yes" he nodded, still smiling wide "yes very much"

"mhh" you hummed, bashing in your post-orgasmic bliss as you leaned down to kiss him "I told you you could do it honey"

[mrsbarnesblog]

i need help

summary: Rafe has a breakdown and he finally asks for help

word count: 1.4k

warnings: angsty and fluffy?, crying, mentions of drugs and alcohol, ward is the worst father (this is ward’s hate space btw💋)

a/n: I just want to baby him. so yeah, soft/clingy Rafe again because apparently, I can’t write anything else right now🙂

You were sitting on Rafe’s bed, patiently listening to his firm footsteps on the staircase. The room was dimly lit only by a lamp from the nightstand and you fought back an urge to fall on your back and fall asleep with your face in his pillow. 

Yet the harsh and cold voice made your head clear of your thoughts and you finally noticed your best friend walking into his own room. 

“What are you doing here?” Rafe grumbled at you as soon as he slammed the door, turned the lock and turned around, only to see you sitting on his bed.

“What?” His bloodshot eyes were burning holes into you and you innocently blinked at him, not understanding why he was acting so weird.

“I said, what–”

“Don’t yell at me.” You interrupted him calmly. “We wanted to hang out; it’s been a few days since it was just the two of us. You never complain when I come here.”

“Ye-yeah, fuck…sorry, I didn’t mean to.” You watched how Rafe started pacing around the room, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes. He was almost shaking, his hair looking like a mess, and you would’ve thought that he was on the verge of tears. “I’m not in the mood right now, okay? We’ll do it another time. Can you leave now? I– I need to be alone.”

“No, Rafe, I’m not leaving. What happened?” Your brows furrowed, concern and nerves bubbling inside of your body as you watched how your friend and the guy you had a crush on was slowly breaking down. 

“Nothing. Nothing happened, Y/N.” He mumbled, still not staying in one place. “Just go.”

“I told you no.” 

 “Why can’t you listen to what I’m fucking telling you?!” Rafe snapped, stepping closer to you as if he were trying to scare you away. Yet you remained still in your place, not even flinching. Your brows shot up in silent question,  eyes were glued to his face, and especially to the way his own eyes became more glassy and watery with every second. “Fuck, fuck—I'm sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to yell at you.” 

“Then don’t. You know I hate it when you’re doing it, Rafe.” You continued calmly. “Sit here and tell me what happened. I see that something’s wrong. It’s been that way for a long time, right? You’re acting differently… C’mere.” You patted the bed near you, giving Rafe a reassuring smile. 

“I don’t know what to do, Y/N.” Sitting near you on the bed and holding his head in his hands, Rafe spoke so quietly that you could barely hear him. “I’m going insane. I have issues and nobody hears me.” You slowly, as if you were touching a wounded animal, put your hand on his back, slowly moving it up and down. 

“Tell me. I’m here and I hear you. Please tell me what’s going on.” You tried to sound as soft as you could, moving a little bit closer. “You know you can trust me.”

“There’s something wrong with me. I— I have thoughts in my head that I don’t like. They’re bad. They’re wrong. I don’t want to be violent or feel these things inside of me but I c-can’t stop. They’re stronger than I am and sometimes they’re messing with my head.” Rafe’s voice cracked at the end and you felt the violent beating of your heart in your chest. He sniffed a few times, desperately trying to be strong in front of you and to hide the disgusting things that were eating him up alive. 

“Are they dangerous to others or to you?” 

“Both.”

You slowly nodded, processing the information and trying not to show the way it actually freaked you out. Did you know that Rafe struggled with anger and was not everyone's favorite person? Well, yes. He was nothing but sweet to you, though. You saw that he was a nice person, with a good heart. The only thing that he wanted in return was to feel needed, important, and loved. 

And you always gave it to him. 

But realizing that there were problems so much deeper and that he was now screaming for help because he could not live like that anymore made you wonder how you could be so stupid to not notice the signs earlier.

“Did you talk to your dad about it? Maybe anyone else? Or is it just me? ” You finally reached Rafe's face with your hand, turning him in your direction. You’ve never seen him even shed a tear, not to mention the state that he was in right now and it was shocking how much it hurt you too. The look in his pretty eyes was so desperate and so hurtful that you felt sick.

“He told me to man up. Cool, right? Can’t even do shit without disappointing him. I–I said that I have problems, but he just ignored it. He told me to rest and that it'd be okay.” He smiled at you, even though tears were still freely streaming down his face. “I just thought that maybe once he would hear me. See me. Not Sarah. I’m so fucking tired of it.” He shook his head and looked down. “So it’s only you. Nobody really cares about me anyway, so...”

“Oh, Rafe… Come here.” He wasn’t resisting when you dragged him closer to you by his arm. No, instead, he wrapped his arms around you as if his life were depending on it. You hugged Rafe back, slowly lowering both of you on the bed, until he was lying almost on top of you with his face in the crook of your neck and your fingers slowly brushing through his hair.

What you noticed is that Rafe was always cautious with physical contact. Sometimes it seemed like he tried to be closer to you, sit near you, or casually play with your hands or hair, but the next day he was completely dispant and hesitant. 

It was obvious that now Rafe lowered his guards; he let you see the damaged parts of him and he craved your touch because it was the only thing that could ground him. 

“I need help. I’m tired of this shit in my head, and I don’t want to continue ruining my life with alcohol and drugs…but it just calms everything down for some time and I don’t know how to come out of this circle.” Rafe sobbed harder, his arms wrapping around you even more, until you were closer than you'd ever been before. Your own eyes were filled with tears, but you refused to show them. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a disappointment. P-please don’t walk away.” 

You knew about Rafe’s lifestyle, but despite your words, he always made it seem like not a big deal, like something fun that he does at parties. Though now it was obvious that the facade that he had built was slowly falling down and drowning him in it too. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Rafe. It’s not your fault. But you do need help, darling.” You whispered, pet name rolling from your tongue faster than you could’ve processed it. “It’s important that you understand it. And I’m not leaving. It’s the last thing that should be in your head.”

“I do. I want to get clean. I want to be normal. I just don’t know how.” 

“That’s okay. I’m here for you, yeah? Your dad may not hear you, but I do and I’ll help you. We’ll figure it out together tomorrow, okay? Now you need to rest a little bit.” You reached the end of the bed, dragging a duvet and covering both of you with it. Rafe didn't move an inch from your warmth.

“You promise?”

“I promise, Rafe. You mean a lot to me; you know that, right? More than you think.” You whispered, soothingly brushing his blond hair again.

“You mean a lot to me too. More than you think.”    

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

LISTEN. I CLOSED OUT OF THIS FRICKING BANE OF MY EXISTENCE DOCUMENT WITHOUT SAVING JUST AS I FINISHED JUST NOW AND GOOD LORD. HEART ATTACK OF MY LIFE. ESPECIALLY WHEN I COULDN'T FIND ANY AUTOSAVED VERSIONS WITHOUT DIGGING. BUT I DID FIND IT SO IT'S FINE WE'RE GOOD

[bluespinksyellows]

Derek: *very drugged up with a giant grin on his face* Hi

Stiles: *giggles* hi

Derek: *with an even bigger and sappier smile* hi

Stiles: *trying not to laugh while also looking so hopelessly in love* hi

Derek: You're pretty... You're so pretty. Your eyes are pretty, your nose is pretty, your mouth is pretty, everything about you is so pretty. I love everything about you. Your whiskey-colored eyes are so beautiful that I still get lost in them no matter how many times I see them. Your upturned nose is so cute that every time you scrunch your nose in concentration I can feel my own heartbeat accelerate. Your mouth is the most perfect little cupids bow it's hard not to stare at it every time you talk. You are just so pretty you're like an angel. A sassy sarcastic angel but an angel. My angel. It's fitting. That you're my angel. You saved me. In every way possible you saved me. Before you, it was hard to be awake. Hard not just to stay alive but to want to stay alive. Hard to live. Hard to just.... breathe. But then you happened. You stumbled straight into my life and made it so much better. Not immediately. No. Not at all. But gradually. Slowly. So slowly, I didn't realize it was happening. But you taught me hope. And trust. And you taught me love. Not just how to give it but to receive it. You taught me how to live. Not just to survive but to live a life I would enjoy. When we met I thought you would be the death of me. Ironic to think you're the reason I'm alive. You've saved my life literally many times but you saved it again and again without even knowing. Like an angel. I don't know what I would do without you now and I don't want to. You are my home. And my hope. You are my happiness. And my heart. And I love you for that. I love you with everything I am. With my body and my soul and my mind. I love you.

Stiles: *on the verge of tears* And I love you

Derek: I know. I know you love me. I've never doubted it. You've never let me doubt it. Because it's in everything you do. When you hug me after a long day. When you pepper my face with kisses when you know I'm in a bad mood. When you brash my shoulder after you pass by me in the kitchen when we're cooking. When you run your fingers through my hair while we listen to music on the couch. When you hold my hand whenever we go somewhere, and there are too many people... When you get defensive of me anytime I'm made uncomfortable by anyone. When you scold the pack for pushing me too far. When you scold me for doing or thinking something stupid. When you encourage me to try. When you praise me for doing something good. When you understand when I make mistakes. When you push me to be better but still love me when I can't. I've never doubted your love. It's one of the only guarantees I know. Because you love me. I gave you my whole heart and it's never once been hurt by you. Only healed.

Stiles: *actually crying*

Derek: *still with a goofy smile* I'm gonna marry you one day. I will.

Stiles: *can barely talk* Lucky me

Derek: *fervently shaking his head* Nope. Trust me I'm the lucky one.

[rainbowangel110]

Pluto may have been kicked out of the Planet group, but know that they are now the King of the Kuiper Belt/Oort Cloud and all Dwarf Planets, so really, who's laughing now?

the thing about the godawful "pluto will always be a planet IN MY HEART UnU" narrative is. why does this hypothetical anthropomorphic Pluto want to be a planet

like if i'd never fit in with all the other planets no matter how hard i tried and then someone finally realized "hey! its not fair to hold you to the standards of something you aren't! we know what you are now! we understand you better, you never have to be labeled as something you're not again!" that would be like the happiest ending possible

like science isn't nostalgia its constantly changing as we learn more and more about how the universe works, and change isn't always bad

but also like i fail to see how this is sad for pluto

[roosterforme]

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 19 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: With an uncertain future, Bradley gets ready to leave for Virginia. But he works on a plan to make sure you understand just how much he will be thinking about you.

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, adult banter, desperate Bradley, 18+

Length: 5400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Bradley felt sick to his stomach as soon as he saw the stationery set. At this point, the only thing on his mind was quitting his job so the two of you didn't have to be separated. The paper looked expensive; he would have loved to sit in his bunk and write line after line to you and your class, but he wouldn't be able to do that at all. 

"We can go back to being pen pals for a bit," you whispered, your hand coming to rest on his thigh, giving him a little squeeze. "I'll be refreshing my email inbox and waiting not so patiently for my mail to arrive. It'll be great. That's how I fell in love with you in the first place."

He felt guilty even though he had no control over the scenario. His heart hurt with loneliness already as he set the gift you gave him on the coffee table and buried his face in his hands. "Gorgeous. That's not gonna happen." He swallowed past the lump in his throat and turned to look at you out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm confused," you said, hand still on his leg. He covered your fingers with his rougher ones and pulled gently until you climbed onto his lap. 

"Oh, god," he groaned, giving you a kiss before linking his fingers with yours. "I love that set of note cards. I would have taken them with me everywhere during my free time, and I would have written to your class constantly. And you would have been the recipient of some rambling love notes to be sure." Your brow was still creased with concern as he said, "No outside communication. For seven weeks."

Your expression went slack as a single tear rolled down your cheek. "You're joking."

"I'm not."

Bradley held onto your fingers as you whispered, "This keeps getting worse," through more tears. Your broken voice made his chest ache as you leaned closer until your cheek was resting on his shoulder. "I could go ages without you in person, but if I can't talk to you at all... Bradley."

Nobody else ever loved him the way you did. He'd be miserable without your letters, emails, dirty pictures and pretty face over video calls, but he finally had someone who would miss him equally. 

"I know," he muttered, wrapping his arms around you. "It's seven weeks of nothing."

You were crying in earnest now as you clung to him. "Nothing," you sobbed. "I won't even know if I'm supposed to collect you in San Diego or Norfolk when your deployment ends. And I won't know where you're being stationed."

"Fuck," he gasped. "Gorgeous, when I tell you that nobody would have much cared where I ended up before I met you, I mean it." He kissed you as you snuggled tighter against him. "As soon as I find out what's going on, I'll let you know."

"Seriously," you murmured, voice shaky. "You better tell me as soon as possible if it's San Diego or Norfolk in my future."

Bradley didn't know what else to say besides, "I fucking love you." He smiled for the first time in what felt like weeks as he added, "Are you really going to fly out to Norfolk and collect me if they make me stay in Virginia?"

You pulled away from him, eyes puffy with a scandalized look on your face as you said, "Of course. What kind of girlfriend do you think I am?"

The kind he was going to upgrade to his wife.

-----------------------------

When you finally stopped crying, you were on the verge of a migraine, but you felt a bit calmer. Bradley got up to gather together some Advil, a glass of water, and a small gift wrapped in hideous paper.

"Your early Christmas present," he said, handing it to you after you swallowed two pills for your headache. "Well, it's actually kind of another gift for me, when you really think about it." He dropped down onto the couch again with his arm slung around your shoulders, and unlike him, you tore into the paper. Inside was a leather journal with little hand painted airplanes all over it. "Will you write in it every day so I can read it when I see you again?"

When you opened it to the first page, he had written you a note.

Gorgeous, I miss you with my whole heart. I can't wait to read about all of your adventures when I get home to you. Love, Bradley

"Yes," you whispered, closing it again so you could wrap your arms around his waist. "It'll just be a bunch of pages of me telling you how I argued with Jayden about his sloppy handwriting and how I asked Nia a hundred times to return to her seat. But yes, I'll write in it every day for you."

"I will eat up every page."

After that, he kept you by his side for the rest of the night. Even when you tried to dig around in the refrigerator to see if there was any food left, he was grabbing for you and kissing you. "You have no food," you said with a laugh, turning to face him. "What are we eating for dinner?"

"Hadn't thought that far," he muttered against your lips. "Just want you."

You took his face in your hands and ran your thumb along his scars. "If you don't eat, you'll get cranky. And you've got aircraft carrier food in your future."

Bradley grimaced and muttered, "Cabbage rolls," as he reached for his phone. "Let's get pizza today. And then maybe I'll try to talk the hostess at Salvatore's into letting us get takeout tomorrow. Then Thai on Christmas."

"And then you'll be gone," you whispered, dreading it all over again. "It never gets any easier, does it?"

"You're stuck with me, Gorgeous," he said, voice tinged with the tiniest bit of apprehension.

"I am." You kissed him before you said, "Pizza sounds perfect. Then I can help you pack a little more."

---------------------------

The last thing Bradley wanted to do was finish packing his duffle, but every time you looked up at him, eyes full of emotion, he was struck by several things. One, you really were so good at folding up his uniform components, something he noticed a few days ago. Two, every minute or so, you wrapped your arms around him, which made leaving with uncertainty so much harder. And three, you were absolutely nothing like Vanessa. 

Last time when he packed to leave, he was treated to her incessant whining over the fact that he didn't want to take her out to dinner. She was always annoyed with him wanting a quiet night in. She was always annoyed by his job. It was so obvious that she never missed him or loved him the way you did as he watched you carefully fold one of his flight suits before tucking it in his bag. 

"Gorgeous," he murmured, and as soon as your gaze met his, you had your arms wrapped around him again.

"That's enough for the night," you whispered, voice thick with emotion as he kissed the top of your head. Your face was pressed against his chest, and he could hear you trying to keep yourself calm. And god, he hated doing this to both of you. 

"I agree," he replied, keeping you close while he tossed a few novels he'd been meaning to read in as well. He'd have plenty of time to read a whole stack.

You wiped your eyes on his shirt as you said, "Make sure you read at night and stay away from all the women."

Bradley tipped your chin up so you were looking at him again. "Surely you're not worried about that." You shook your head. "Good. But now that we're on the topic... be a good girl and don't talk to horny assholes."

You started laughing as you slipped out of his grasp, wiping at your tears as you said, "Never. Now let me add one more thing to your bag." As you disappeared from the bedroom, Bradley put his bag on the top of his dresser. If he had time, he would move some of his clothing around so you had room for your things when your lease was up. Otherwise you were going to have to fend for yourself in his house and just make decisions for him. If he just had more time with you, everything would be easier. The one promising thing would be returning in time for Valentine's Day and Career Day at your school. If he was allowed to come back to San Diego at all.

"Fuck," he groaned, hating this unsettled feeling that was expanding in his chest, but as soon as you walked back in, he started to feel better. Seven weeks without you was going to be painful when he had such a visceral reaction to your touch and your words.

"Just in case you feel like jotting down your own thoughts every day for me to read," you said before tucking the stationery kit in next to his uniforms. You slid a large envelope that looked like it was bursting at the seams inside as well and simply said, "Some more reading material for you," before pulling him toward the bed.

And that's when Bradley figured out just how to make you feel a little less alone when he was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

-------------------------

When you opened your eyes on Christmas Eve, you were already smiling. Your body was warm and tucked up against Bradley's, his big, heavy arm draped over you as he snored softly. You wanted to stay here and not move a muscle, because right now, everything was perfect. You could pretend like his duffle bag wasn't sitting on his dresser, mostly packed and ready to go. You could melt into the sweet ache deep inside from the hour he spent loving your body last night. You could close your eyes and go back to sleep.

Bradley's phone vibrated on his nightstand, and he groaned next to your ear. "Baby," he murmured, lips grazing your neck. "Don't get up yet."

You couldn't help but smile. "Your phone is vibrating. Not mine."

"Shit," he grunted, rolling away from you. Once he looked at his phone screen he seemed to wake up. "Nat's on her way to pick you up for girls' day."

"What are you talking about?"

You definitely hadn't planned a girls' day. Why would you want to miss out on any time with Bradley right now? You could have a day with Nat next week or next month when he was gone!

He had a little smile on his face as he pulled you close again for a kiss. "You better get dressed."

"Bradley! I'm not going out with Nat. You're leaving in two days!"

Naked and spectacular, he climbed out of bed and stretched. "Just for a bit. She wants to take you to get coffee, and if she tries to get me a Christmas present, I need you to make sure it doesn't suck." 

"You planned this," you said, annoyed as he reached for you, pulling you away from the bed where you could pretend there was no scary uncertainty in your future.

"Just trust me," he whispered, holding you close. "Besides, I need some time to sweet talk someone at Salvatore's into letting me order dinner to-go."

You could handle an hour or two with his best friend while you counted down the time you had left before his flight out of San Diego. "Fine, but I'm wearing your sweatshirt, and I'll be thinking about you the whole time."

Bradley sent you down the walkway with a kiss, and he waved from the front door in just his underwear as you climbed into his best friend's car. "I won't keep you out too long," Natasha promised with a smirk. "I can already tell you want to get back to him."

"Why did he plan this?" you asked, wanting the answers he wouldn't give you while trying not to be rude. "No offense, because I would love to spend an entire girls' day with you, but why today?"

She simply turned up the Christmas songs on the radio and headed toward Starbucks with a smile on her face. "I was thinking after coffee we could hit up the mall for a few minutes? I need to find something truly awful to get for Bradley. I'm thinking some pink running shorts to match mine. High visibility colors are very important when you're out running, and I just don't think he fully appreciates that."

You laughed. "If you buy them, he'll probably just wear them to try to embarrass you."

"I don't embarrass easily," she said smoothly with a devilish grin. "And dare I say you might like to pick out a little something that you could wear as a going away treat?"

"Wear?" you asked before you quite knew what she meant.

"Sure. I mean, I don't want to know any specifics about what the two of you get up to, because gross, but deployments are long and lonely, and you're definitely going to miss each other."

While Bradley had seen all of your cutest underwear at this point, you'd never worn anything that you bought specifically with him in mind. Your cheeks grew warm as you thought about it. Truthfully you didn't even own anything terribly sexy. 

"What would he even like?" you asked softly as she pulled into the Starbucks parking lot.

"On you?" she asked with a laugh. "Anything. Don't worry, we'll find something good."

------------------------

When Natasha texted to inform him that you were on your way back to his house, Bradley quickly hid everything that had been out on his coffee table while he juggled his phone. The woman he was talking to on speakerphone wasn't falling for his lines at all.

"Listen," he told her, making sure there was no visible evidence of what he'd done in his living room. "I just really want tonight to be special for my girlfriend and I before I leave for my next deployment. Just one order of spaghetti and meatballs? That's all I'm asking."

There was a deep sigh followed by, "Be here promptly at 5:00 to pick it up. I'll take your credit card over the phone."

"Perfect," he replied with a smile, digging for his wallet. "The name is Bradley Bradshaw."

You walked in with shopping bags in your arms, and rushed toward him as he finished giving his credit card security code, and he pulled you in for a hug as he reassured the hostess from Salvatore's that he would be there at 5:00.

"Hi," he said, kissing you after he ended the call. "Did you have fun with Nat?

"So much fun," you told him with a smile. "We're going to try out a wine bar next week up in Oceanside." The idea of you hanging out with his friend while he was away made him feel calm, especially since Nat knew how important you were to him. "Also," you said, pressing your lips together nervously, "I think I'd like to sleep here for the rest of my winter break." Your volume dropped to a whisper. "I'm not sure if it will make me miss you more or less, but I want to be here if that's okay with you."

"I love that, Gorgeous," he replied easily. Hanging out with Natasha and then returning to his house where you belonged anyway felt right to him. "Knowing you're sleeping in my bed might result in some dirty notes from me," he said with a laugh as you bit your lip.

"Please," you whispered. "Yes. Write me dirty notes to read when you get back." Just when he was about to kiss you, he watched you bend and rummage around in a bag. "Also, this is your gift from Natasha." You handed him some bright pink fabric that he turned around in his hands, trying to figure out what it was. "And she told me to hold up the gift receipt for you."

When he finally figured out that it was a pair of ladies running shorts, he grimaced. "She's so annoying," he groaned, reaching for the gift receipt, but you quickly chuckled and tore it up. "What are you doing?"

"You're not allowed to return them." You dropped the bits of paper, and he tossed the shorts onto the couch.

"Whose side are you on here?" he asked, peppering your face with kisses. "Don't think for a second I won't just put a jock strap on and run in those shorts."

"I tried to tell her you would," you laughed as he scooped you up. "I kind of want to see it."

"Play your cards right," he murmured, grabbing his keys and taking you out to his Bronco. "Let's pick up dinner."

------------------------------

Your belly was full of spaghetti and meatballs when you managed to sneak away to the tiny laundry room and quickly hand wash your new bra and thong set while Bradley loaded the dishwasher. Nat assured you that he would enjoy this tiny thing, and you were trusting her here. You set both items aside to dry before walking back out to the kitchen.

"You don't have a Christmas tree," you remarked, wishing you'd picked one up today from one of the many parking lots trying to unload them at the last minute.

"I told you I don't really celebrate holidays."

"You're doing a great job of celebrating this one."

He washed his hands and tossed the towel aside. It was barely seven o'clock, but he asked, "You feel like calling it an early night?" You agreed, ready to feel his warmth along your entire body as you fell asleep.

You got undressed and climbed in bed, and he did the same. Bradley's hands were everywhere, but his lips were gentle on your neck and shoulder as he whispered your name. "I love you. It's going to kill me inside when I can't talk to my favorite pen pal. Last time, you had my heart pounding every time you sent me a new email."

Tears stung your eyes in the darkness; you'd done a pretty good job of holding it together all day, but this was going to be your undoing. "I promise, every time you think about me, I'll already be thinking about you, too."

Bradley's arm tightened around you, his thumb stroking your skin, soothing you along with his sweet words as you fell asleep.

When you woke up on Christmas Day, his body was still right behind yours where he belonged, but when you rolled over to look at his handsome face, you knew the hours were going to go by too quickly. "Morning, Gorgeous," he murmured, voice raspy from sleep as he cracked his eyes open. "Let's go see what Santa brought."

You didn't have any other gifts for him, unless you counted your new lingerie which you were saving for later after dinner. And the printer you bought so he could have some photos of you without his phone on the aircraft carrier. But when you got out to the living room, there was an envelope on the coffee table.

"What is it?" you asked cautiously as you picked it up. But your heart melted immediately. It was a gift card for the wine bar in Oceanside.

"There's enough on there for you and Nat to take a few trips up if you like the place."

"The two of you have been plotting, I see," you remarked, taking a deep breath before snuggling up against his chest. "But nothing will beat the horribly expensive bottle of wine I accidentally made you buy on our second date."

Deep laughter rumbled through Bradley's chest as he said, "The look on your face just made me love you more." You groaned thinking about it. "Come on, we've only got one day left and then seven weeks of nothing. Let's make French toast and have sex on the couch and eat Thai food and watch movies."

You wore his sweatshirt around all day, licked maple syrup from his lip and rode him until he was whining for you. The Thai noodles went perfectly with Home Alone. Then you took a shower together and deep conditioned his hair, dragging your nails along his scalp until his eyes closed.

"I'm going to miss this," he whispered after every single thing you did. When you toweled his hair dry, he looked at you with so much emotion. "I'm going to call you as soon as I know what's going on with the Pacific versus Atlantic Fleet. And either way, I'll try to be as patient as I possibly can, but I can't live without you, Baby."

"Bradley."

"Shit. Even the way you say my name makes me ache."

"I want you here with me. I already hate this." A sob escaped your lips without warning. "I want you to come back for Career Day."

The words were barely out of your mouth before he said, "I will be here for Career Day no matter what. Disappointing you is bad enough, but I don't want the eighteen kiddos to miss out on spending the day with their favorite Naval officer."

You laughed. "You're not disappointing me, Bradley. This is just hard, because I love you so much."

If you couldn't see a future with him, this would have been easier. He set you down on the bathroom vanity, and you watched him carefully shave around his mustache, kissing you randomly so you had to wipe shaving cream from your nose, and then he started collecting his toiletries for his duffle bag. He was naked and perfect as you stayed huddled in your towel, wondering if you could even manage to pull off wearing the items that were surely dry now and draped over his laundry room sink.

"Where are you going?" he asked as you ducked past him toward the door.

"Meet me in bed."

You rushed down the hallway and threw your towel in the empty washing machine as you took a minute to touch the pretty lace fabric before sliding the thong up your legs. Next you hooked the bra in place, and it didn't matter if you didn't look perfect, because you felt good. And you wanted him to have this memory.

When you cautiously strolled into the bedroom, Bradley was still naked, laying on top of the bedding, looking at a small piece of paper. "I'm just double checking my packing list, and I..." His gaze shifted to your body, and you did a little turn for him. The paper drifted to the floor as he sat up, his hand coming to rest on his cock. "Come here."

Biting your lip, you did as you were told. Bradley's feet swung over the edge of the bed, coming to rest on the floor as his cock bobbed between his thick thighs. "Here I am," you whispered, standing between his knees with your hands on his shoulders. "Your going away gift."

One strong arm wrapped around you, and you squeaked as he pulled you flush against him. He kissed the rounded tops of your breasts above your new bra, one after the other before looking up at you. "What did I do to deserve this?" he rasped, his nose running along the lace as his fingers tangled in your thong.

Already so turned on, you tried to answer him twice before words came out. "I wanted to give you a proper send off. Something extra special." Then he kissed your furled nipples through the flimsy bra cups and you moaned, "Something to think about when you're lonely."

His fingers were digging into your butt as he grunted. His wide brown eyes were fixed on your face as he parted his lips and sucked on your breast, the black lace wet everywhere now. He was being a little rough, but it felt like he was worshipping you at the same time, and when his lip found your neck, he asked, "Is this little getup new?"

"I bought it yesterday," you gasped as his fingers slipped inside your thong, stroking your wet pussy. "Just for you."

Then you were on your back with your head on the pillow, Bradley's heavy cock resting against your thigh as he hovered over you. "Just for me, huh?" he grunted, biceps flexed as he fought to keep his breathing under control.

You nodded, running your toes up along his calf and thigh until your leg was hooked around his hip, ready to give him whatever he wanted. "Of course it's just for you. I'll wear it again when we meet back in the San Diego airport or in Norfolk. And I'll wear it when you're away and I'm touching myself."

"Fuck," he growled, pulling your panties to the side and running his cock through your wetness before pushing himself so deep inside you that it took your breath away. When you whimpered, his lips crashed against yours as his hands dug beneath you to unhook your bra. "Touch yourself right now." When the flimsy lace ended up on the floor while Bradley fucked you, he guided your right hand to his lips, kissing your fingertips before placing them on your breast. "I want to watch."

Bradley's pupils were wide, lips parted. When you looked down your body as his cock disappeared inside you over and over again, you felt even more turned on. When you ran your fingers along your nipple and up between your bouncing breasts, his eyes followed your every move. "Like this?" you asked, feeling bold as you added your left hand as well.

He gave you a harder thrust. "Exactly like that, Gorgeous. And what are you going to think about when you do?"

"My boyfriend," you managed before his mouth met yours in a deep kiss that only lasted a few seconds. "I'm going to think about my boyfriend. I'll miss you so much."

-----------------------------

Bradley's hips slowed to a gentler pace as he listened to you gasping and panting beneath him. There was no way you'd miss him as much as he'd miss you. He closed his eyes and thought about returning home to your arms in seven weeks and heading back to work in the Pacific Fleet. He hoped you'd appreciate the little surprises he was leaving behind for you. More than anything he wanted you to think about tonight when you got yourself off.

His rough excitement at you in the new lingerie melted into something sweeter as he fucked you with long, languid strokes. Your lips were on his neck and collarbones as he whispered how much he loved you over and over. When you came, it escalated quickly, sudden and loud as he ran his thumb across your clip. He couldn't hold on after that, and he let your body hold him in place with soft squeezes as he caught his breath.

"I have one more thing for you to pack," you whispered, voice ragged as you ran your fingers through his hair.

"I really hope you fit in my duffle," he mused, and you laughed softly.

You kissed his ear and whispered, "I bought a small photo printer since you won't be able to use your phone." He shivered at your words. "You can print out a photo or two of us together... or maybe you want to take a new one right now to print out?"

"Jesus," he grunted, kissing your lips. "You're spoiling me." He reached for his phone on the nightstand and snapped a few pictures of your fucked out face and your body with his cock still buried deep. "I am very spoiled."

When you stood and plugged in the printer with lips puffy from his mustache in just your thong, he couldn't keep his hands off you. He had his photo gallery open on his phone and his arm around your waist as he selected the picture you sent him ages ago with the sun setting behind you. "This one is an absolute necessity. So is this one of us together. I don't think I should take any with me where you're naked, just to be safe," he mused, and you threw your arms around him.

"You'll just have to use your imagination," you told him as the photos printed.

"That'll be easy with this fresh in my mind," he murmured, looking down at your tits pressed to his chest. "I'll be thinking about you nonstop."

Bradley's hold on your body was unrelenting as he dropped the photos into his duffle and led you back to bed. It was getting late, and his flight to Virginia was early. You snuggled up on his chest with a soft smile on your lips. "I hope you do. I hope you think about me constantly and write me notes."

He kissed your forehead. "Not just you... your whole class. Have to keep them interested in aviation. But you're my favorite pen pal."

You laughed and buried your face against his neck, and he could feel your breathing grow a little more ragged as you whispered, "I love you so much. Just be safe. I don't really care if we have to figure out long distance or relocation as long as you're safe, Bradley."

That's how he fell asleep, wrapped up in your arms with your sweet sentiments in his ear. And the next morning, when his alarm went off, he welcomed your tears, because they made him feel like he was important to a woman for the first time in his life. You cried softly as you sat on his lap and went over his packing list with him one more time, and your cheeks were wet as you kissed him.

Bradley let you button up his khaki uniform shirt for him, your fingers shaking as you smoothed down the fabric along his chest. "Thank you, Gorgeous," he whispered, watching helplessly as your face crumbled into more tears.

When he drove the Bronco to the airport, your fingers were linked with his in the silence as the light from the rising sun hit the buildings downtown, promising to bring another perfect day to southern California. His hand tightened around yours, knowing he was going to be flying into so much uncertainty. His voice sounded strangled to his own ears as he parked at the curb under the signage for departing flights. "This is it. I'll text and call you as much as I can when I land before they lock me down, but this is it for seven weeks."

You crawled onto his lap, holding him tight as he kissed you, and now his tears mingled with yours. "I love you, Bradley," you promised, and he believed you as he held you in his arms and climbed down onto the pavement. He pulled his duffle from the backseat and dropped it to the curb as he held you against him, unwilling to leave before he told you a few more things.

"I'll keep myself safe, but you need to do the same. If you need something, you call Natasha right away, okay?" You nodded against him, your fingers digging into his shoulder blades. "My stuff is your stuff, so do whatever you want at the house and with my Bronco. And tell me you love me every day in the journal so I can read about it when I see you."

"I will," you sobbed as he finally set you down. "And I'll be waiting to hear you tell me if it's San Diego or Norfolk."

He swiped your tears away from your cheeks and kissed you one last time before he picked up his bag and headed for the door. When he turned back one last time, you were clutching his car keys and crying. "I love you, Gorgeous."

----------------------------

We'll see how they manage apart. I think she might do a bit better than Bradley will. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 20

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[pastorpresent]

When Logan goes on a mission without Wade, Wade can distract himself with his silly cartoons and the dog and Al, and can function pretty much fine till Logan gets home. He might text him a few more times than necessary, but that's the extent of it.

Logan on the other hand? Absolutely zero fucking chill. Cannot Function. It's like mother hen mode but on crack. He can't sit still for longer than thirty seconds. Wears his suit the entire day, just incase he needs to go save Wade, which is ridiculous because as Wade had reminded him before he left- he's also fucking immortal.

Like seriously, this man becomes intolerable. Wade's phone crashes from the amount of texts and missed calls, and Logan just cannot do Anything all day. Even when Wade gets home (and honestly, the mission finished a good half hour before but he needed to ensure he was completely healed before he went home and Logan freaks the hell out over a paper cut) Logan is on him, stripping him off in their bedroom and checking him for any marks, growling in that way Wade finds sexy as hell, except there's nothing sexy about it right now because Logan looks on the verge of tears, his eyes tired and stressed, and Wade grabs his wrists mid-inspection and kisses his knuckles

"Logan, I'm fine. I'm completely okay."

And Logan nods stiffly but doesn't quite relax, so Wade redirects his hands back to their previous trail and let's him finish his inspection before he tugs him in for a hug.

(They agree to stop doing missions without each other. Logan won't ask, feels too selfish and controlling to do so, so Wade does. Pretends it's for his benefit, obviously. And Al's, which it actually is because when he'd gotten back she loudly proclaimed 'thank fuck! That bastard was going to wear a damn hole through the fucking floorboards!')

[yanderemommabean]

Hey Beans-

Hey beans, I have a bit of a hellish update. 

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. My grandma made a huge fight happen while I was on call with a friend, and things just escalated between me and her so badly I had to leave. When I came back home, my family was also on my ass about it all, despite knowing how she lies and how she instigates. 

She threatened to hit me, she threatened to kill Sammy, she hurled insult after insult at me and this all started because I didn't get up in time to do something she asked (Which was locking the door. I waited three seconds too long and she went off). 

When I came back after trying to let things cool down I was berated and told I had no right to be so “selfish” in the house, so on and so on, and the fight got so intense I had to just physically walk away, leaving the home and going two miles up the road because I did not feel safe. 

They made me so sick I began to pee blood again, as well as my sugar spiking and causing me to have palpitations. My heart cannot take this stress anymore, and neither can my mental health. I wish I could explain how bad the situation was. I had tears down my face, gasping for air, chest heaving and in pain, I felt like I was on the verge of passing out. 

I got in contact with some good friends of mine, who say they can help get me out of not only that home, but the entire state i'm in. But I need money to do so, for travel and gas and so on. As much as they can house me, they need me to pull my weight. 

I hate having to ask for help, I hate that I'm even in this situation, to the point I'm so sick I might have to be seen in the ER or sent to ICU. 

I need to come up with 700 dollars, and I'm willing to do some commissions, but with how sick I am I may take a bit to get back with you. I plan to leave by early June, if not the beginning of July, as that's when my friends are able to drive down and get me. 

Donations are greatly appreciated, even if you can only afford a single dollar, it’ll be more help than you know. 

If you’re wanting a commission, please don't send money and then ask, for your sake and mine. I’m incredibly overwhelmed, and I’ll do my best to get with you and explain rates. 

And if you’re willing to donate anything, here’s my Ko-fi link. 

Again, I can’t thank you enough for if you donate or even spread this post around, even well wishes mean the world to me because I know you beans care and want to help however you can.

This post was incredibly hard to make, I’m still all over the place and trying to figure everything out, so I apologize if this sounds like rambling and nonsense. There is a silver lining however, as I actually have a way out this time, and I pray I can get out before things can get worse.

-Mommabean 

[vendettasfanfictioning]

Ok so. "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Was fucking heartbreaking, right; we have the full-on uninterrupted eye contact, the head tilt, Dean's already open mouth twitching before the scene cuts to Cas' "I love you," like he had more to say, but Cas beats him to the punch. It's great, we love that. But for the dialogue to be sequenced that way, and to have Dean reply with, "don't do this, Cas."

I'm only just realizing how fucking insane it was. And sure, I might just be coping here, at the end of the day who fucking knows, but look at it. Think about it. Now let yourself feel it all over again.

It's Dean's death knocking on the door behind Cas, and it's Cas' death emerging behind Dean. Like this, they're directly facing their own demise—but they're too stuck on each other, in their moment, to give a damn. And then Dean doesn't say, "I love you too." He says, "don't do this."

He isn't disgusted or ashamed or put off in the slightest by Cas' confession, because if he is then why is he on the verge of tears? In what world would it make sense for him to want to cry after his best friend confessed to him, if the confession was something he did not want. He says don't do this here, don't do this to me now.

Even if, and that's the most unlikely if to ever exist, Dean did not reciprocate Cas' feelings—don't do this is still so fucking powerful. Because Dean's connected the dots, happiness [...] is in just saying it, and Cas said it, so where does that lead Dean? That's right, with Cas dead again, trying to save him again.

Don't do this. Don't die for me, don't love me only to die for me, don't love me at all, just stay with me.

Don't let me watch you die again and not even let me follow you—because, at the very least, that was a consolation. She's gonna kill you, which Dean knows that Billie knows will hurt him more than his own death, and then she's gonna kill me.

"Don't do this," was actually so fucking powerful, I don't know how it slipped past me until now...

[03jyh23]

༘⋆mon's 500 followers special.ᐟ.ᐟ 500-word prompt roulette⟢

🍰┆sweet disaster

kang yeosang x gn! reader

│synopsis: the one with the failed cake

│genre: fluff

│trigger warnings: none

│ prompt 10 + yeosang + baking

You were on the verge of a mental breakdown, in the middle of the kitchen, flour everywhere, as you desperately tried to bake Yeosang an anniversary cake. You wanted to do something for him, something that would scream how much you loved him. You weren't good at crafting, so a handmade gift was out of the question, but baking? You thought, what could be hard about baking?

Turns out, everything. The recipe you found online looked simple enough, but three hours in and you had managed to burn the first attempt, drop the second one on the floor, and now this third one just wouldn't rise properly. Your hands were shaking, tears threatening to spill over as you stared at the sad excuse of a cake before you.

That's when you heard the front door open and close. Yeosang wasn't supposed to be home for another hour. You panicked, trying to hide the mess, but it was too late. He walked into the kitchen, eyes widening at the disaster zone that greeted him.

"What happened here?" he asked, taking in your flour-covered form and the failed cake attempts.

"I-I just wanted to make you something special for our anniversary," you stammered, feeling defeated. "But I can't even get a simple cake right." You were supposed to surprise him with something beautiful, not this chaotic mess. Yeosang moved through the disaster zone with careful steps, coming to stand in front of you. He reached out, gently wiping a smudge of flour from your cheek with his thumb. "I... I just wanted to..." you stammer, your hands still covered in flour and batter. "The recipe looked so easy online, and I thought I could surprise you with something special, but nothing went right, and I kept messing up, and now you're home early and everything's ruined and—" Your rambling explanation tumbles out in a rush, words tripping over each other as you try to justify the kitchen catastrophe surrounding you both. You gesture wildly at the failed cake attempts, accidentally flinging a bit of batter onto Yeosang's shirt in the process. You gasp, horrified as a glob of cake batter lands right on his white shirt. "Oh no! I'm so sorry, I—" But before you can finish your apology, Yeosang breaks into laughter, you freeze, your mouth dropping open slightly.

His laughter turns into a fond smile as he shakes his head. "You're adorable." Yeosang chuckles, watching you fumble with your words. "Didn't expect me to say that, huh?"

You stare at him, unable to fully process how he can be so calm in the middle of your culinary disaster. Yeosang hands gently come to rest on your flour-dusted shoulders as if it's the most natural thing in the world. The way he looks at you—like you're the most precious thing he's ever seen, failed cake and all—makes something warm bloom in your chest.

"You know," he says softly, "this is actually the best anniversary gift I could have asked for."

"A complete kitchen disaster?"

He shakes his head, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "No. Seeing how much you care. How much effort you put into trying to make something special for me." His thumb traces your jawline, "That means more to me than any perfectly baked cake ever could."

"I still wanted it to be perfect for you," you mumble, unable to hide your disappointment despite his words.

Yeosang laughs softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looks at you with such affection that it makes your heart skip. "You're perfect," he whispers, leaning in closer. His hand cups your cheek, "Messy kitchen and all." Before you can protest further, he closes the distance between you, pressing his lips softly against yours. The kiss is gentle at first, then deepens as he pulls you closer, completely unconcerned about the flour and batter that transfers to his clothes. When he finally pulls away, his forehead rests against yours. "I love you," he breathes, the words falling softly between you. "Not for what you can bake me, but for who you are. For moments like this." Despite the mess surrounding you both, this moment feels perfect in its own chaotic way. Yeosang's smile, the warm press of his body against yours, and the genuine love in his eyes make all your failed baking attempts worth it. "So," he says with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "want to try baking together? I'm not much better at it, but I think we could make a decent mess together."

You can't help but laugh, the tension finally melting away as you nod. "I'd like that."

As Yeosang rolls up his sleeves and reaches for a clean mixing bowl, you realize that sometimes the most perfect moments come from the most imperfect situations. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

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[faithisyours]

The List

Vi x Fem!Reader Modern AU

Summary: Vi Reads a book that touches a nerve. You come up with an idea that will hopefully heal some of her inner teenager.

CW: all fluff, some hurt comfort, that's literally it

Word count: 1.3k

AN: Howdy, this is my first fic back since summer (thanks college) and my first official Arcane fic. This is also my first chapter fic, which I will try to make regular uploads on, probably once a week, but no promises. Also Happy New Year!!! This chapter is not smutty, but upcoming chapters will be, so minors gtfo, majors, you enjoy! (Also if you have any ideas for chapters, I'm all ears).

And special shoutout to my god, the loml, my queen, and bestie forever @mythsretriever for being my beta reader on this one!

Chapter 1: The List

Ch 2 can be found here

The sun had set just a few minutes ago. Its waning peach and purple light stretched into the living room through the open window, accompanied by a breeze where warmth and chill danced together. You were on the couch, a book in one hand, Vi’s hair tangled in the other. Often you laid like this, Vi curled between your legs, her back against your belly, while you both read. It was a mindless habit that your free hand played in her hair.

You two had found yourselves in this position maybe an hour ago. Or maybe two. You couldn’t remember. But nonetheless you stayed, serene and content in each other's silence, the only sounds being the occasional page turn or the muffled noise from the street below.

You had just taken your free hand out of Vi’s hair to turn the page when you heard what sounded to you like a sniffle. Originally thinking it came in through the window from a passing car, you were about to brush it off, but then you heard it again. And this time it was accompanied by your girlfriend bringing a hand up to her face.

On instinct you froze, all focus going to hearing that sound again. And hearing it one more time confirmed it; Violet was crying, or at least on the verge of it. You eased your bookmark into your book and set it down. Only within the past year of your three year relationship had Vi started to show more vulnerability in front of you. This was still new, and comforting her about it was even newer. You didn’t want to fuck this up.

Ever so lightly you placed your hand on her arm. When she didn’t pull away, your touch became more present, rubbing and squeezing gently. You quietly cleared your throat, attempting to shake the disuse and clear the small worry forming there.

“Hey, are you alright?” Your voice was between a whisper and a normal volume. As you spoke you saw her bring her hand up to her face again, brushing off tears as soon as they spilled. She nodded and turned into the hand on her arm, giving you her side profile.

“”Ya, I’m alright it’s just…” She quickly shoved her bookmark between the pages and put it down, her now free hand accompanying her other on the front lines of battling the tears. “Just this book is getting to me.” She attempted a chuckle but it came out too tight. Her hands switched to fanning her face.

“Do you want to talk about it, maybe?” You brought your hand up to the side of her neck, caressing her cheek with the back of your fingers. “Vent about how the characters are going about their life wrong?” you lightly joked. It wasn’t received, in fact Vi dropped her head into her hands and started actually crying. Your stomach dropped. You had fucked it up, butchered your attempt at comfort. Scrambling for a way to fix this, you sat more upright and leaned closer to Vi, placing both your hands on her upper arms and gently pulling her back towards your chest.

“Hey that was a joke I didn’t mean to up-”

“No, It wasn’t what you said, it…” She sniffled and wiped her face, leaning more upright and turning back towards you. “The book just hit a nerve I thought wasn’t sensitive anymore, is all.” You thought she was going to stop there with the explanation, but she surprised you when after a moment she kept speaking. “This main character is doing all these adventurous, youthful things and I’m just…I never got to do that stuff, ya know?” Because she had been in prison, and unjustly, which always made you livid when you thought about it. “I just feel like I missed out on all these milestones. Like the 19 year old in me is mourning all these moments that I’m never going to get.” As she said this she leaned back into your embrace. You let your arms wrap around her chest and hold her, an act that comforted her as much as it did you.

After a pause of silence long enough to know she didn’t have anymore to say, you spoke.

“I know this doesn’t really mean much or take any of the pain away, but… I’m so sorry that happened to you, Violet. You were just a kid, you didn’t deserve that.” As you spoke, tears began pooling in your eyes. Thinking about young Vi, scared and alone in a prison with no one to look out for her, made your heart shatter every time. But this moment was about her, so you suppressed your sniffles and blinked your eyes clear.

Vi took in your words, nodding slightly, and then turned fully around to face you. Her eyes were quite red, and there was some snot dripping slowly from one of her nostrils. She gave you a small, sad, appreciative smile, and launched herself at you, wrapping you up in a classic Vi hug where one hand caressed your head and the other held you tight by the waist. You didn’t wait a second, you wrapped your arms around her, one caressing the nape of her neck, the other holding her strong back close.

“Stupid books, always making us cry,” you said, sniffing around a huffed out laugh you both shared. You squeezed her tight, then released her to caress her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and wiping away the last of her tears. “Do you want to keep reading or watch a movie?”

“Watch a movie,” she replied.

“Okay, you pick one you want to watch, I'll go make us some hot chocolate and popcorn.” You patted her leg then popped up and ran to the kitchen, popping a bag of popcorn in the microwave and putting the kettle on for the hot chocolate. As you worked, you thought about what Vi said, about how she felt like she missed out on certain things. How could you help her get those experiences?

You came back with the food and drinks, set them down on the coffee table, and curled yourself up around Vi.

“I picked Spirited Away,” she said, curling up against you and moving the blanket on her lap to cover yours, too.

“An excellent choice,” came your reply. The movie began to play, but what Vi said still ate at you.

“You know, you could make a list.” she gave you a confused look, a line forming between her eyebrows. “Of all the things you want to do, all the things you missed out on. Take some inspo from your book, maybe. I can come up with a couple ideas, but you should make a list. And then we can do them together, if you want.” You caressed her face. “You deserve to have those experiences, Violet. Even if you think you’re past it.”

She gave you a hug so tight you thought you might pass out from lack of oxygen. “That's such a great idea.” She popped up from the couch and ran off quickly, you heard a rustling of things being moved around, and when she returned she had a small notebook and pen in hand. That made you smile.

“Make sure skinny dipping is on that list,” you said. She grinned at you, writing it down as the first on the list.

You watched the rest of the movie in near silence, save the rustling of popcorn or the slurping of hot chocolate, and occasionally Vi would quickly jot down an idea in her notebook. But the soundtrack of the movie eventually lulled you both to sleep, curled around each other on the couch, the small notebook dangling loosely from Vi’s hand, a page already full of things she wanted to do.

Tip Jar

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

I think the funniest Hazbin Hotel crack theory headcannon is that Husk has the MOST absolute rizz out of everyone. Like he was highkey a fuck boi when he was alive and has been married and divorced at least 3 times and would have probably been more if marrying men were legal back in the day. You need a lot of suaveness and charm to get away with swindling people for a living and NOT die by pissing off the wrong person. Now that he's dead, old, and at rock fucking bottom he doesn't really care about it anymore but he still has that gentlemanly smoothness about him without even trying. Especially now that he just doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore he's extremely blunt and forward about what he thinks about people. Like he's not even trying to charm them, its just his honest opinion.

Husk: You're far to kind for this world, princess. But perhaps that also makes you stronger than the rest of us too; Finding reason to be kind to people without anything in return. I hope you never lose that softness in your heart.

Charlie, on the verge of tears: T-thanks you 💕

Husk: Look all I'm saying is that if Heaven wants to lose their best warrior because she's an ACTUAL angel with good morals unlike the monsters they have amongst their ranks, then its no skin off our backs. Bastards don't deserve you anyways Vaggie.

Vaggie, blushing as she fiddles with the hem of her skirt: Uh, yeah...thanks...😳

Husk: I mean, I wasn't all that surprised that you didn't "look" the part of the Devil. Partly because Charlie looks the way she looks and she's cute as a button. But also the books back on Earth said you were God's most perfect angel and I mean, like, *shrugs* they weren't wrong.

Lucifer, giggling like an awkward school girl: Ahaha, you're sooo funny 🫠💕

Husk: Look, you're a decent guy: you're smart, funny in that goofy charming sort of way, and pretty decent in the looks department by sinner standards. Plus if the rumors are true after that night in the club, you're not bad in the sack either. 😉

Sir Pentious, fan himself like a victorian lady: Oh my 😳

Husk, pissed: I swear if i wasn't on your damn leash I'd rip out your throat with my bare fucking teeth so you can finally shut the fuck up.

Alastor, desperately pretending that unhinged comment didn't make him internally swoon: My, my Husker, if you wanted a raise, all you had to do was ask~ 😃

Husk: You look good like this.

Angel, flirty: Like what? I look good every day Suga~

Husk, soft and genuine: Happy....when you're happy, when you're enjoying yourself, you have this glow about you.

Angel, breathless: Glow?

Husk, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck: Ha, kinda cheesy, but that's the best way I can describe it.

Angel: 😳🥺💕