#I'm still not conscious of what he was talking about and I guess that's natural bc I wasn't conscious of it then but I know

[prettyboykatsuki]

best friend yuuji? you’ve just rang the dinner bell

i was just thinking like.

im adding this after writing but this is soooo fucking long lmao im sorry.

tags for fem!reader (reader is referred to as a girl many times, no explicit mention of anatomy), best friends to lovers, 18+ etc

okay. i feel like you and yuuji meet in a stereotypical way

yuuji is your best friend. you met when you guys were sat next to each other in school (classic case of quiet kid and loud kid) but yuuji is uber friendly so he naturally made friends with you. you guys always clicked. in a weird way. no one else could ever fully grasp it

but you just get each other. you have similar mindsets and find each other comfortable. so you grow up and into each other - and become best friends after a long while. he comes over a lot to yap while you study and while it looks one-sided - you often take care of and look after yuuji and make sure he's not carrying too much at once.

anyway . you have a really good relationship. you're not glued at the hip but it's like, you stick together so much people often ask where the other is when one of you is missing. you get older to around middle school and puberty starts to really . hit you know.

a lot of girls confess to yuuji in that time. it's normal. sure he's rowdy and loud but he's the kind of good guy you notice when you really talk to him. fundamentally good, and not crude and shallow like other boys your age. popular but not obviously. it's the first time in your relationship you are self conscious about being his best friend and just happening to be a girl

there's rumors and stuff. you and him never talk about it until some stuff happen (like yuuji seeing it cause problems) and then you talk. the gist of it is basically that - you're yuujis best friend in the world and nothing could change that. it doesn't matter who you are. he's just trying to show you he cares

and you realize right then you are in love with him.

years go by. you get a little older. you go through highschool much like middle school - with no boyfriend. yuuji dates infrequently but usually gets broken up with. this pattern repeats into college.

(what you don't know, because yuuji never bothered to ask - is that the girls he used to date broke up with him simply because he wouldn't shut up about you. everything he should've done with a girlfriend he did with you already. he even keeps pictures)

when you get into college and grow into adulthood, you and yuuji are still extremely close. you chose to stay home and so did he - so not much is very different. except now you're meeting all sorts of new people and having new relationships form.

you don't know how exactly it comes up. you're studying for an upcoming midterm, yuuji is talking about how he got turned out by the cute girl that he works with and he pauses and asks.

"you know, i know you study hard but you should have fun too," he says this laying in your bed like he owns it, turning his head to look at you where you're bent over your desk. "haven't you thought about getting a boyfriend now that you're in college?"

you are good at brushing this off. you've been doing it for years. you do not tell yuuji that you don't date guys even after you get asked out because you're in love. you just shrug and tell him straight.

"i already told you. im not going to think about dating until i'm finished with school and i've held my career for two years."

"but aren't you bored?" yuuji asks, sincere. he doesn't press you but he is being nosy. "i don't play around that much either but i don't know. a little is healthy. and you've always working hard. playing around with handsome guys might be fun."

"not gonna change my mind."

"don't you get i dunno," he lays on his back. "sexually frustrated, though?"

you pause. you flinch. you've never talked about this before.

you clear your throat a little. "don't be inappropriate. and i do the job myself just fine."

"i guess girls don't have to worry about losing their virginity as much as guys but,"

you try to move on as swiftly as you can from talking about this in relation to yourself. "you make it sound like you slut around, yuu-chan."

he laughs a little behind you. "well no but you know. it's nice laying with another person. only if we're together though."

"yeah, sure. good for you. stop pestering me about it then and go get a girlfriend."

"so mean," he replies, laying back on his stomach. "but do you really not care at all about losing it?"

you frown, swallowing the words explaining that you do care but not just anyone will do. you give him a half truth. a lie of omission.

"it's not that i don't care but it has to be with someone i trust a lot. i don't know any guys like that, so,"

"ehh?? what about me?"

you freeze. you're sure you're mishearing it. "what about you?"

"well... you trust me right? so i could help you with it until you do find a boyfriend,"

you turn around. surely not. surely you misheard. surely he did not tell you to have sex with him so casually. you turn around to verify he's fucking with you.

only to find the most blatant sincerity you've ever seen. he's never been entirely stupid but well. he has his moments.

"do you even know what you're saying? you have to get it up for me to do that."

"well sure. but im reliable and trusrtworthy. and maybe it'll relax you a bit."

you think at that point you're definitely losing your shit but no. unfortunately your guy is dead serious. and you know, yuuji is an idiot but he's not enough of an idiot to not know it's unconventional - but in the moment, in the second he asks, his reasoning is for good. he gets a weird little feeling thinking about you losing it to someone you don't trust you know?

you obviously debate with him on this. you refute him, even - telling him that there's no way he thinks that's a good idea. and you go back and forth and you stop him at some point. to just be like

"do you even think you could kiss me?"

and yuuji just stands to his feet, leans over your desk, and kisses you.

and well. after that, it's kind of like you can't keep your hands off of each other.

it's clumsy your first time. you have no experience. but yuuji is your best friend, and he's himself - so he's patient and gentle and sooo very helpful. he teaches you to kiss and breathe through your nose and open your mouth and all sorts of other things. he's big so it's kind of hard to put it in but he takes is time. the sex feels really, really good and is intimate - almost naturally because that's your very best friend in the entire universe.

and so like. you guys have sex. you dont really plan it or anything but somehow when you get alone - it just gets so, so tense and neither of you can seem to cool down.

and how could you, you know? you've always wanted to fuck yuuji and maybe, seemingly, he wants it too. he gets so red when you bend down on your knees and try to blow him and it makes you so confident. you just... start fucking all the time. and you guys have been so close that no one cares if you two are alone together or not.

and so like. you begin this intensely sexual relationship and miraculously unchanged relationship. like you hang out as normal. and you fuck alot. and it's amibigous and vague.

you're kind of torn up about it, but yuuji is the kind of guy to not hook up with more than one person - so it's not hard to delude yourself into dating. he's already sweet and cuddly and thoughtful. and you know, you've always been so, so strict with yourself. you're really on top of your shit you know? so you reason with yourself, fine. ill just do this and see what happens. it's not like you.

(but it's hard to be strict with yourself when he makes you cum six times you know.)

so weirdly, in a weird way - you're kind of fine. you're a bit numb, a bit adjusted to it.

BUT YUUJI? OH YUUJI IS GOING THROUGH IT.

look. i mean what i said about yuuji being sincere and dense about this whole thing. he really does just want to help you and he doesn't think anything of it. sure sex is for someone you love, but yuuji does love you so it's fine to him.

the problem? the problem is you go from looking like a vague, amorphous and wonderful friend whose appearance he rarely thinks of (outside of beautiful, because of course you are - you're his best friend)

and instead become the most insanely fuckable person he has ever laid his eyes on and it is . ruining his life.

again. it's not as if yuuji ever thought you were unattractive. beauty is bigger than appearance to him, always has been - and you've always been the most beautiful girl in every room because you had a lovely character to you. he adores you. as a friend.

he never.... saw you in any other way. not even when other people kept assuming he did. you're a girl so he knew people would try to box you into that with him regardless but it was never like that. or at least, in his head it was never like that.

sure, whenever he dates someone - he is subconsciously compares them to you and sure, no matter what the person he has the most fun with is you but that's normal right? best friends is a big deal after all

you have sex for the first time and it's like. all of a sudden he's seeing all these aspects of you completely different. it's such a dramatic shift for him. like.

but it's not.... just your body really. of course not. he's not just lusting after ou but there's just something different about how you look in his eyes. something about how you readjust your sweater, how you wipe the corners of your mouth. something about the way you look at his place with shorts and a comfortable shirt just barely riding up your stomach and matching fuzzy socks (that are kinda matted from being worn)

all of this is just so, so fucking sexy now. he gets the weirdest fluttery feeling and just . can't help but be on you. you don't even know what you do to him either, and how could you? but god it destroys him. really ruins him to see you all doe eyed. know how you feel when you cling onto his biceps.

for the longest time - he can barely figure out whats doing it to him.

and then like. one day you're finished having sex and you're both so tired you fall asleep. and you're at his place - naked in his bed. he wakes up in the middle of the night. he moves the covers you know, to get up and get a towel - wipe you down.

and then you sort of hold onto him. still asleep. you let out a very soft whiny nooo, and he just. finds it so cute. so without thinking, he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead and tells you to keep sleeping which you comply with bc ur not awake anyway.

and then when he sits up again he's like. oh. shit shit shit. shit.

that's when it hits him that he's in love with you which is. troubling to say the least. not only because he feels guilty for ruining your friendship but also because he knows himself well enough to know there's no way he could hold himself back.

but he thinks about and... does he have too? he knows it won't be right away but you do this with him too. so maybe, just maybe, there's a chance right?

for what its worth, i do think you two end up together with a minimal amount of angst. but the amount of heavy ass pining...the months it goes on of you two getting insanely, unbearably intimate and then not talking about it. and like. yuuji tests the waters with you. kisses you before he leaves, and does all sorts of stuff but you always go with it. you both cover it up but eventually it all spills and i think that's mostly cause yuuji is so open ......

anyways.... best friend yuuji.... he is on my mind....

[linddzz]

While yes, Viktor is confident too, but...

This man isn't shy? He's hyperventilating and nervous-tapping over the idea of giving a speech!

This man?

I guess Im not getting across like, the Vibe that I always see that bothers me? Viktor's got the social anxiety for sure, and it's VERY fair to assume that his condition makes him even more self conscious to be up in front of a crowd full of topsiders. He's pretty clear in episode 1 that he's aware of how topsiders see him and his cane use, and that's before his disability is even more visible.

But ALSO very few people ARE good on a stage in front of tons of people. And also there's a very specific connotation to "shy" that is beyond social anxiety.

Shyness to me, is its own flavor of social anxiety plus timidness. The actual definition is a bashful, timid nervousness. It has connotations of the wilting flower personality. Viktor, even when he's quiet around other people doesn't come across as nervous or timid in the slightest. His first introduction has him VERY confident and collected surrounded by enforcers and not taking Jayce being snappy and angry at him. As a kid there's more of an argument to be made because what awkward socially isolated kid isn't going to be shy. But at the same time he doesn't try to shrink away from Sky's attention, he still looks right back up at her, he just keeps on doing his own thing. Mostly he comes across as someone who does not know how to casually interact with people so he doesn't. He's got tunnels in his eyes lmao.

Viktor is complicated. Viktor is nuanced. It's why he's Ultimate Blorbo. He's withdrawn and awkward and not very good at interacting with people, but he's not timid about it. He is very self assured in himself.

But when I say fandom makes him shy it IS much more of the wilting flower timid woobie that I kept seeing in Season1 fics. There was SO MUCH of Viktor being the nervous soft spoken anxious thing who was just so happy Jayce was even giving him the time of day as if Viktor didn't sass Jayce about his notes right after he stopped the man from jumping lmaoooo

And idk not to be TOO OBVIOUS with my projecting but it's the part of Viktor I can relate to the most. I consider myself a quiet person who gets annoyed when people think that me being quiet = shy. I'm able to speak up well on zoom calls with colleagues and I also would rather drop dead than have to go up on a stage in front of a bunch of normal people who I know were expecting someone very different. I get nervous and shaky speaking up in front of a crowd of colleagues even! but afterwards I can go right up to people like "your presentation was insane tell me more right now." I am often quiet and uncomfortable in large social situations because I know that most people there are operating under a different wavelength than I am, I do not know what the right responses to things are, or I full on do not know how to not accidentally come across as a huge asshole and I don't want to be an asshole. And when I was younger I would have so many people come up and act like I was a little wallflower (bc oh boy can I also relate to being quiet while physically small meaning being constantly infantalized) who "didn't need to be so shy" and every time I was like "I'm not shy. I just don't feel any engagement with this conversation and I don't want to be a dick and tell you that, but if you gently tell me it's ok to talk one more time I'm gonna start biting."

(It got better as I got older bc I learned that if you're quiet but making active eye contact instead of staring off into other directions - not to avoid attention but because you're just thinking of other shit - people will stop labeling you as shy and instead say "intimidating" or "mysterious" which is also hilarious when what you're thinking about is "machine herald big naturals lmao" but it's better than being labeled "shy")

[creative-clawmarks]

So I wanna talk paralytics and paralysis in regards to Alex's venom (bc I like going on random science deep dives) SO- as I understand it- there are a few different types of paralytics which affect different bodily functions via different methods, but when most people think of temporary paralysis, they think of neuromuscular paralysis, which is what doctors use during surgeries, and some species of jellyfish and snake use to be absolutely terrifying.

Neuromuscular agents won't knock a person out or prevent pain, they just prevent movement. The problem here is that the diaphragm is a skeletal muscle and is affected by neuromuscular paralysis, meaning that without a ventilator or another breathing apparatus, suffocation is practically guaranteed. Really this applies to all neuromuscular agents/neurotoxins.

Here's the interesting thing I found however- Tick Paralysis, which doesn't always affect breathing. Usually starts out as acute ataxia (muscle weakness) and can progress to muscular paralysis if the tick isn't removed. While tick paralysis is also caused by a neurotoxin, my guess is that because ticks are so small the venom isn't particularly potent, and they don't produce a ton of it.

For Alex's venom to not outright kill via asphyxiation, the potency would probably have to be low enough to allow for diaphragm movement (though probably still weakened) but high enough to trap prey, which is a hell of a needle to thread. That, or it's a neurotoxin that specifically avoids effecting the diaphragm, which doesn't really exist as far as I know (then again, vampires don't either)

TL:DR - Neurotoxins are scary as hell and it's likely that someone envenomed by Alex would experience weakened breathing, if not outright suffocation.

(there's a 2008 movie called The Burrowers where the monsters use a venom that effectively causes Locked-in syndrome, but the science is kinda iffy. Roanoke Gaming as a video on it)

You've given me the perfect opportunity to go into depth on this.

So there's this trope I see in vampire stories where something about the vampire's bite makes it so their victims don't struggle. Usually this is due to supernatural influence, a charm or compulsion that makes the bite pleasant instead of painful.

But I wanted the bite to be painful, and more than that I wanted just the idea of being bitten to be terrifying. So I though, what is something naturally occurring that makes it so that something can't move but can still feel pain?

Why, paralytic venom of course!

(I then proceeded to do zero research lol.)

With this new information I can confidently say that, yes, Alex's venom is a neuromuscular paralytic. It makes it so that his prey cannot escape but leaves them conscious and able to feel pain. It does not, however, bring a risk of asphyxiation, because if Alex is going to kill someone I want it to be on purpose. I suppose that means his venom doesn't target the respiratory system, which considering we're talking about fictional monsters I'm gonna say we can suspend our disbelief here.

Humans stand basically no chance against something like that, but other monsters could fight if off much faster due to their regenerative abilities. That's how Tim survived Entry 56/57, Alex was banking on his venom to keep Tim down but instead he shook it off and managed to flee. He would've gotten away if it weren't for the Operator.

Ok, that should be everything...

"But wait!" I hear you cry, "If Alex's venom is super scary and not at all pleasant, then why does Jay like getting bitten by him?"

Because Jay is a freak. Next question.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

KO-FI

[lopposting]

On the freckles + Geppetto (Spoilers below)

Geppetto saying "it looks like you inherited his personality instead of his memories" is very very suspicious, and he says "personality" with such disdain - if you were a father who loved their child, wouldn't you want them to retain their core persona of who they were, than remember exactly everything from your past? I don't know, is it just me, or doesn't it feel like it's more important? I know memories make us who we are, but it still really came across as a deliberate piece of dialogue to word

Geppetto didn't want Carlo back, he specifically wants an obedient version of him, the rotting/preserved corpse body puppet is to show that Carlo was long gone. Remember that one of the most important decisions in the game is granting Sophia "her peace", which is her having the choice to end her own life. And then the nameless puppet is revealed, and it's as if Carlo is being kept alive against his own will (like as Simon does with Sophia). no wonder carlo didn't like him, the really disturbing thing is that nameless puppet still defies Geppetto in the end which suggests that it/(he??) is still somewhat conscious?? .. wat.

Another Character design I've noticed... and this is me making BIG leaps, by the way, I don't mean to make any statement on korean culture as a whole, but skin has a lot of symbolic meaning, and importance, in korean society. I know every country has stuff like this, but it seems really significant here considering this is a korean studio, ill try to get into why

P has very noticeable freckles on his skin, I can even say that they're hard to ignore (especially his right cheek), they're even visible in promotional material. and the irony is that he possesses these "flaws" and is more human-like despite being "artificial", he also has visible pores!! something completely natural, human, that stringent societal norms might deem as "imperfect"

Freckles can be seen as "imperfections" in korean culture (I mean I can only guess, and I suppose this negative perception is a little the same in the west as well?), they have this term called "glass skin" which is what is deemed as the "ideal": zero blemishes, really even tone, and often lighter in tone is seen as "beautiful", and there's a lot of pressure to be that way. It's a really pervasive idea that I don't think I am in the position to really talk about, and I don't mean to demean the culture, it's not like this is exclusive to korea/asia, I'm just mentioning it to explain this in the context of the game

And then "Carlo" doesn't have ANY of these things. He has "PERFECT" skin, those freckles are just gone. I feel like this isn't just a mistake. it kind of gets a message across about Geppetto's real intentions in reviving him. I mean, it's possible that maybe it's more of a siblings situation, and Carlo simply just didn't have freckles? but if you think about it from a storytelling perspective, remember that Geppetto refers to him as "mischievous", an odd translation maybe, but everything else suggests that the real Carlo was actually deeply defiant of his father while he was alive, again I think it sends a message about Giuseppe re-creating his son but without the things he saw as "flaws" in his son that he didn't like

yeah... loving this game more and more by the day

[professorhayforbreath]

so episode 5. all my thoughts

we picked up where the last one left off, good start

annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me

annabeth being the one to see the fates... no

fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!

the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)

gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you

i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that

the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything

i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️

percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me

first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural

actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie

annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently

i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone

annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one

ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR

so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic

not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads

is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?

despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*

[cer-rata]

Fic WIP: "Welcome home(?) Chris Kent!"

Chris sighed. “...So yeah, I don’t really remember being an adult. Just bits and pieces. I remember Thara, and the Nightwing. Um. That’s about it on details.”

B+ nodded and rubbed his chin. Chris was intentionally leaving things out, that’s what his spot analysis of his body-language, mannerisms and tone told him. Perhaps he’d be willing to share more later when they were friends…if B+ didn’t manage to mess it up.  “Fascinating series of events for a twelve-year-old. Disturbing, in many ways.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “I’m not really twelve, I’m actually an adult, I just look like--”

B+ shook his head and looked down at the datapad that was monitoring Chris' vitals. “No. No, I'm pained to inform you that you’ve misunderstood the flow of your life.”

Chris frowned. “...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, from what I can tell, you didn’t live an accelerated life in that you lived at a normal pace in a pocket of reality that moved faster along the timeline than the one you originated from. Rather, your body aged more quickly than it should have on a purely physical level. Sure, that meant your brain reached a certain stage of development sooner, but you didn’t gain the experience you would have had from living into adulthood naturally, so experientially you didn’t really age at all. Legally, and ethically you were always a child. And that would be true even if you did remember everything. 

“So really I could still say you were six or seven, but with the accumulated experience you lived through and do remember...and though you were incorporeal when you were in the phantom zone the second time, and I have no concrete way of knowing how long you were there for…I do know that Kon-El is also from your timeline and only remembers a year passing between when he was lost and when Impulse found him. That was five or six years ago now, and you were conscious for that period of time. Meaning: I think eleven or twelve is probably fair. I can go with twelve if that makes you feel any better. Luckily, that’s about where your body ended up as well.”

Chris stared at him with wide eyes. Then his lips twisted and he sat back down on the floor of his containment chamber. “...Oh. I…I guess that makes sense.”

B+ nodded without looking up from the data he was reading. “It does, but I still think it’s kind of messed up, actually. The adults sent me to talk to you because they’re all upset and didn’t want you to pick up on it. Subconsciously they seem to think that I don’t process emotion still and as such wouldn’t bother you by being agitated. Bias from experience with my predecessor. I am not hurt by it, but…I do hope to at some point convince them that I am truly a separate being.” His third eye flicked up and over to look at Chris and caught the alarmed recognition in his eyes in the second before he was able to hide it. “...Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk about myself. I was going to say that I am also upset: You shouldn’t have had an adult girlfriend when you were cognitively six or seven. Very weird for both human and Kryptonian standards. Bird gods be damned.”

Chris hugged himself. “I mean…I mean from what I remember, she was nice.”

B+ desperately wanted to break down the reasons why that didn’t matter, but it wasn’t the right moment, and he felt it would be better coming from someone like Ms. Lane. So he smoothed it over. 

...Well, he tried to. “She could have been, I’m not implying that it was…”He paused. “...Well maybe I am implying that it was somewhat predatory, but I doubt she really considered the implications enough for me to judge her as anything more than shortsighted. Perhaps neither of you were completely acting on your own volition even, because again, bird gods. I’m…not trying to make you feel bad, am I making you feel bad?”

Chris looked away. “...A little.”

B+ winced and looked directly at him with all three eyes. He even devoted half of his processes to the conversation, which was dramatic overkill really, but he felt bad.

 “I apologize. Sometimes I talk through thoughts that I should probably process silently. Um…wait, hold on.” He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again. “Okay, the likelihood that they’ll bother us in the next half hour is low, they’re tending to a minor disaster.” 

Chris’ mask dropped and B+ could see how nervous he was.

“...Why…what are you going to do to me?”

B+ had been reaching towards the containment field, but when Chris asked that fearful question, he pulled his hand back like he’d been burned.

“Nothing! I wouldn’t--I don’t…” His lips wobbled as he tried to not get upset. It was frustrating sometimes, being so young and knowing so many things. On the one hand he wanted to be taken seriously, to be seen as competent…but on the other, he was still chronologically two, developmentally nine, and that meant that it was hard to mitigate his feelings sometimes. Conrad had reassured him that it was normal, but he knew that already. Normal or not, it was still embarrassing. He sighed. “...I was just going to sit next to you. I thought…I thought it might make you feel better after I upset you by being callous. I don’t have to, I can just--”

Chris’ expression softened considerably. “Wait, what? Wouldn’t the Phantom Zone energy be bad for you?”

“No, I can handle it fine.” It was a lie, it was going to be incredibly uncomfortable, but not so much that he couldn’t hide it from Chris, so it was acceptable.

Chris stood up. “Well…I mean yeah, then that would be okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out, just--”

“You’ve been treated as an experiment and tool before…and in a sense I am…Brainiac. That was…that was the kind of thing he did, so it is not inappropriate to be...vigilant.” B+ was thankful at that moment that he’d decided not to install synthetic tear ducts into his current iteration. “Um. Step back just a little? Please?”

Chris pressed lips together in concern, but took a step back. B+ reached out again and touched the containment field, and his skin shifted color just slightly from its bright turquoise to something closer to matching the shade of the barrier, before he walked through said barrier like it wasn’t there. Chris looked him over cautiously. “...You sure you’re okay?”

B+ nodded. “I am sure.” He stretched a bit to try to look casual about the fact that the way the zone energy interfered with his connection to turquoise light made his synthetic muscles burn. It was fine. He wasn’t a baby. He took a seat on the floor, and Chris sat next to him.

“If you would like to ask me questions, you may, I think that’s fair. You aren’t my experiment, friends share information reciprocally, and I��d…I’d like to be…that.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Metron’s countenance, I am awkward.”

Chris giggled. “No, you’re fine. This is all kinda awkward I think. For most people it’d be worse. You use a bunch of words I don’t know, though.”

“Sorry.”

Chris offered him a warm smile and patted him on the shoulder, and B+ had to stop himself from wincing at the pain. This was a good sign, a positive interaction that suggested Chris had not decided to fear him. The discomfort had purpose.

“So,” Chris went on, “How old are you? Cause I dunno what your deal is, but you seem to have a lot going on.”

B+ snorted. “Yes that…yes. Um. Technically I…emotionally I am about nine or ten, experientially…is complicated, because I have the knowledge of…quite a few civilizations stored in my mind, so I know and understand quite a bit. Chronologically my body is roughly…two years old at this point?” B+ knew that he was exactly eighteen months, three-hundred hours, thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds old--but he thought rounding it up sounded better. 

Chris slowly turned to him and smirked. “So I just got a lecture about how my girlfriend was inappropriate from a toddler?”

B+ rolled all three of his eyes. “I’m not a toddler!”

“Awww look at the little guy!” Chris teased and poked B+ in the side.

…Which was not something B+ expected him to do, and so he wasn’t prepared to stop his automatic reaction. It tickled as intended, but it also hurt because at that point everything hurt, and he made a sound that was something between an embarrassed giggle and a pained groan. You could probably call it a whimper. 

Chris pulled his hand back. “Wh--did I hurt you? I thought I didn’t have my powers, I’m sorry--”

“No!” B+ waved him off and then winced at how much that action hurt. “It’s fine, you did nothing wrong, my chassis is strong enough that I wouldn’t be concerned if you did have your powers, it’s just--”

“You lied to me about the zone being fine?”

B+ sighed. Why couldn’t he have been somewhat dense like the other Lor-Zod?

 “...Yes. I thought it wouldn’t be this bad and wanted you to feel better--ahh!”

B+ yelped in surprise (and pain) as Chris gently picked him up and brought him back to the edge of containment. “Out! Go! Before you hurt yourself any more.”

“But--”

“It’s fine! We can hug later or whatever!”

B+’ cheeks warmed, which was confusing for him because he didn’t really have blood, but he stepped back through the barrier like he was told to. Instantly he felt his connection return, and the pain was replaced by the strength he hadn’t realized he’d lost. He turned back to Chris. “Sorry--”

“Please don’t do that again.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on--”

“I mean hurting yourself so I don’t think you’re bad. Don’t do that.”

B+ was somewhat disturbed that Chris had picked up on that. “I…what?”

Chris looked directly into B+’ two primary eyes. His expression read as genuine concern and compassion. It made B+ nervous. “I don’t think you’re Brainiac, and I don’t think you wanna hurt me, okay? We’re good. I like you. You’re kind of funny in like an alien way. Which, as an alien, works for me.”

B+ rolled his eyes and snorted. “...Alright. I appreciate that.”

“Plus, I’m not gonna be scared of a two-year old.” Chris smiled.

“I’m not--” B+ shook his head. He had to claw some of his dignity back somehow. “I’m going to get you out of that tube before the day is out.”

Chris balked. “...What? But...but Kal-El and Batman and Mr. Terrific said it could take--”

“RIP to them, but I’m built different. Literally. Besides, I understand your biology better than any existing being. If I can’t figure this out in the next six hours, I might as well retire and go live on a farm. Ew.”

“Farms are cool!”

“Farms are outdated, just synthesize the food with an atomic reconstructor, they’re not hard to--you know what, I’m actually going to focus all my processes on you, which means I really like you, because I was watching ‘The Great British Bake Off' for most of this conversation. I love that show. But…I still think the British owe this planet more reparations. Anyway, give me seventeen minutes.”

Chris was about to ask another question, but B+’ face went blank and his eyes all started glowing bright turquoise at once, so it was clear that the conversation was over. Or at least…paused.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Review 11 in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

84 hours in, 82 actual playtime.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though., every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard (and everything else Dragon Age, I'm a Lore fiend).

Part 10.3 here.

Wow. Talk about plot hole city in Cyrian's fate. Oh... no... the dying brother is conscious enough to talk (which means swallow). Rook is standing there with 3 healing potions left over and there's at least three green jars scattered about the room. Eyebrow raise of doom.

It would've been far more poignant, and, y'know, would actually have made a lick of sense if no one had any potions left and there weren't any in the room. Rook has been really close to dead, and those potions brought him back to fighting ability. No, I don't expect writers to know what the sets will look like. But at some point, someone, probably multiple someone's saw that and decided it wasn't worth fixing. I can even think of a single line that would've fixed it. Just. One.

Like... did any thought go into this game? At. All? It really doesn't feel like it.

Goddess, that scene just feels so unintelligent and thoughtless. And not because of the writing. If it had been blocked out properly to support the script, it would've been fine! (We use the term 'blocking it out' in writing and acting, not sure if it's the same for games.) It could have been sooooo good! But. Welp. Bioware apparently has no idea how to hire writers and editors and playtesters for quality control. Y'know, if I even thought they gave a shit about quality, because after playing most of this game? I highly doubt it.

I believe everyone can learn how to write. I don't think you need to have advanced degrees or anything silly like that to do it. But there is quite a bit of science behind writing well. No one is good at it from the start. And no... not everyone can just turn their hands to writing and be good at it. That's just not how the science of writing works. You need to dedicate the time and effort to learning how to write well. Reading a lot helps. Same goes with editing. And I know at least one (more than) of the writers played this before release. They talked about it on their socials. So either they didn't notice that massive fucking plot hole, or they just didn't care enough to fix it.

I don't know how else to put it. If someone had hired me to edit this? I would've sent sooooo much of it back to the writers with fix-it notes. (I even give suggestions on HOW to fix stuff in fix-it notes.)

I'm just gonna call the Solavellan ending now. It's so fucking obvious it's sad. The world will be saved (somehow leaving the veil up? Still not sure how that's gonna work given stuff they've said in this game). And then Inky will either join Solas in his prison because that's twue wuv. OR Solas will sacrifice his mortal form because he never wanted one anyway and Inky will poof turn into a spirit and go with him. And we probably won't get the intimate scene.

And NO that does NOT count as a happy ending! Or even the suggestion of a happy ending! That's them either going to prison or dying! A happy ending would be them living quietly until Inky's natural time, with her gardening and him painting. Or working in secret to help fix some shit, or insert absolutely anything other than what I'm pretty sure will happen. Only when Inky naturally passes would a happy ending be going poof into spirit land. What if she'd wanted a family? What if he had? Uuuuuugh. What if they wanted to enjoy life before becoming spirits? Hang with their friends? Let Solas deliver some overdue apologies? Sigh.

Well. I suppose I'm not just guessing. It wouldn't surprise me if I have more than a little savantism when it comes to writing, editing, and prediction.

And when I'm not recovering from almost dying, editing media is my actual job. One I'm pretty good at.

I dunno. Whenever I look at a piece of media, it's like it forms a 4d puzzle in my head. I can see the problems and where the story is likely to go. I actually read encyclopedias for fun (yes, I'm totally serious).

I also may have been dubbed a walking encyclopedia a time or million. So not only can I see the issues? I can usually figure out several ways to fix them. Very little surprises me in fiction. Making the ones that do incredibly rare and precious to me. It should go without saying that absolutely nothing in this game has surprised me except how bad it is.

But that 4d puzzle thing my brain does with fiction makes it far too easy to guess things. Especially when the writers and devs, at every turn, decided to pick the most banal, most uninspired choices available.

If that's what happens with the Solavellan ending, I'm never trusting Weekes again. They were Lead writer. They had to have had some control. Not just because we likely won't get the only two things Solavellans have wanted for what is it now... 10 years? But that they claim to love their character, Solas. And this entire gods damned game has been doing absolutely nothing but shitting on him. It's honestly been difficult to play as a person who deeply identifies with Solas's neurodivergent traits and his story. And who romanced him.

I'm solidly in a relationship with Lucanis and he's made me dessert. Don't get me wrong, a guy who can cook AND who makes me dessert? A+! But I don't play rated M games with romanceable characters for dessert scenes. I'm starting to wonder if there's even any kissing in this game. There's probably only a day or two at most left for me before I finish it. (And thank everything holy that this is probably true. This is painful at this point. But I need to see the ending for myself.)

Y'know? With all of the betrayals this game has dished out to a die hard Solavellan DA fan? I think no intimate scenes would be the shit cherry on top of the shit sundae of this game.

My kids have started being able to tell when I'm playing without looking at my screen by what they term the 'thousand yard stare of horror'. Honestly? They've probably nailed my expression. How can this be so awful?

Oh and yes, Isseya was ooooooh so eeeeevil. (Insinuating mental illness as evil? Yeah, that's rank ableism. It's not even remotely okay, and both whoever wrote that sequence and whoever approved it should absolutely be ashamed of themselves. Perhaps if they'd actually found and hired some diversity editors along with some better developmenal and copy editors, like I told Epler he needed, someone would've caught that.) Though I have no idea why I'd hoped for better from Bioware. They have absolutely awful ableism issues and always have. Psst. Bioware. It's 2024, might want to fix that.

If you've read Last Flight, the Isseya sequence is such a disrespectful, awful story arc. Even beyond the shitty ableism against mentally ill people. 3% of violent crime (pretty sure we can call that sequence 'violent crime') is committed by mentally ill people. All you neurotypicals need to own the other 97%. And a much better villain was still likely kicking around the deep roads. It hasn't been that long since the 5th Blight.

A much better story would've been stopping the Architect. Permanently. They basically just took his motivation and plans, tacked them (in a very badly fitting suit) to a character that didn't deserve that dirty treatment.

I'm honestly not sure if I can even find words for how fucking disappointing this game is.

I do have to say that other than a few teensy details, the sequence of Taash's rescue efforts for their mom was well written. Pacing was a little off, and the bad guy at the end not having a separate battle was a little anticlimactic, but it's absolutely one of the best written sequences in the game.

And my biggest disappointment for that sequence was that both Taash and my Rook are Lords of Fortune. I know it was all emotional, but why did they both run into one of the most basic trap set-ups in existence? Aren't Lords of Fortune supposed to be sorta, y'know, good at both detecting and avoiding traps?

I forgot to say earlier that Isabela is basically the only previously shown character who actually looks sort of like herself.

Oh, and I was pleased with Bellara talking about figuring out what to keep from the past and what's better about the present. I'd have really liked more than a few sentences on what is truly a massive area they could've explored, but at least they did mention it.

Haven't seen a thing about generational trauma and abuse, though. Nor about what’s happening with all those elves and agents Fen'harel had who joined his fight to free the elves in modern THEDAS. Did the writers forget about that part too? Or just decide the closing scenes of DAI weren't important? It wouldn't matter if this were a stand alone game. It might even be a decent, albeit poorly designed, standalone fighting game.

But a Dragon Age game cannot be a standalone. There's far too much history and Lore and previous decisions that need to be considered when you're making series material.

I honestly don't know how much I have left. I keep thinking I'm almost done, and more quests pop up. I've got the final sequence at the top, then maybe 6 others? Two are treasure hunts I'm not sure if I'm going to bother to finish.

And still. The best part of this game? Is still the sets, scenery, backgrounds, and environments. I can't find a single thing I'd change about any of it.

The rest? Eeeeenh.

Section 12 here.

[pielove123clan]

Failure, for the OC thing!

Thanks for asking because I got that vampire autism and don't talk much about my ocs. The thing with my ocs though is I purposly leave them open-ended, im never done developing and changing them. I did all my ocs if you don't mind. The thing is, I need to give my ocs more trauma. I'm too nice with them. None of these are fandom related, their just general ocs in my head.

Question: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

Aparna: She is an undead zombie housewife who can turn into a giant rabbit kaiju. I think her greatest failure is going to be going to sleep when moments before her huband was trying to reson out why she should let him kill her. She was opposed but her husband was able to talk Aparna down like, "Ok honey, this idea was kind of silly, Your right, I don't know why I thought this would be a good idea. Let's go to bed." And then when she fell asleep, her husband killed her. No one else knows this and she's been trying to move past it, look on the bright side because the killing was done to make her 'immortal', it was just greatly delayed. I still need to do more research on how The Great Depression effected families.

Milicent: She is a woman made up of a bunch of centipedes but looks like a normal ass woman, just glossy. I need to give her a failure because killing people in a time when you were more controled by animal instincts and not fulling a conscious self doesn't feel like much of a failure to her. She just moves on like nothing every happened but she accepts that yeah, she did eat people. That was how she was before. She's not doing it anymore because she prefers engadging with not dead people, but she wouldn't care to do it. She'll tell her adopted child Fleshy when she's older.

Fleshy: Body horror child escaped experiment who is a living virus. Weird stuff I still need to write down fully. Her biggest failure is her existence because she was a mistake from the lab that made her. I think she's moved on fine so far but she's still young, still learning. Milicent is trying to teach her how to live in this human world while being true to her nature, im still trying to work out their dynamic. Milicent is doing her best but some of the stuff she's teaching is maybe questionable.

Fleshy has minor anger and violence issues actually. For example, if someone were to tease her, if they don't noticibly look bigger or stronger or if she knows she could get away with it, her immediate thought is "punishment" as in, she will punish the other person, just like the people at the lab did to her. That means hitting or trying to absorb them or their limbs, and she's ruthless. She's very shy and cowardly to juxtapose that and Milicent is trying to direct her to not solving situations like that with violence.

Marigold: She's an ecology student with a shovel that can dig holes to other dimensions. Letting her father vanish before she could completly say all she wanted to say to him. Before he had suddenly vanished, they had a verbal argument. What I'm working with now is that for some reason, the father is insisting on moving out just as Marigold got accepted to a local university. The day after while Marigold was gone from the house, the home was ransacked, her mother was beaten, and her father was no where to be seen. Im still working on lore for her. Long story short, she find the shovel and she's trying to find her father, the problem is she doesn't know what shes doing. No one knows about it. She used to be very social until her father went missing and her mother got transported to the hospital.

Zovasa: They are a vampire jumping spider person. I guess being easily bribed for their apperance? Because its a scay spider who seems to be around misfortune or bad events, people misinterpret them as the bad omen. It's in Zovasa's instincts and nature though to see misfortune sprits or demons and then suck their blood or ichor, or whatever magic demon juices are in there. But, if you thow Zovasa a bone or give Zovasa any sort of kindness that isn't hatred, that demon is free to do whatever in Zovasa's eyes. They get let off the hook. Zovasa doesn't see it as a failure, just that they'll go a little hungrier but its ok. Zovasa is alone so I guesss only the ones that bribe them know.

Cranberry: Gremlin bog otter cryptid. This thing has no thoughts in its head other than violence. The world is lucky that the Cranberry does not have highest intellect. We are all better off that way. I think the biggest failure is the creators of Cranberry have yet to find a way to control the Cranberry and weild them as force of destruction. A handful have tried only to die out of bloodloss from their fearsomely treacherous claws and mighty sharpened maws. Only few know of the Cranberry breeding lab under the bog.

Milly: Medical student in medical school studying to be a surgeon. How did she pay for medical school without the support of her parents? She signed a shady loan connected to a shady underground organ trafficing ring! That's her biggest failure so far and she can't move past it yet because she needs to work off that debt. She is pretty introverted so no one knows, im still playing around with the idea of Milicent, Milly, and Fleshy being a sort of found family and if that still sticks, Milicent would know and be there for her. Otherwise, I need to make Milly some friends.

Verdell: Haven't written much for him because hes relativly new but he will be a superhero oc, possibly influnced off tokusatsu stuff. He is Milly's brother and the much more favorited child in the family. It would be an easy cop out answer to say in his eyes, his greatest failure is not being able to help everyone while remaining in the spotlight and get that recogition. He does legitimately want to do good and help people but he's also a people pleaser and badly trying to over-compensate. He wants his good deeds to be seen, high praises sung in his honor, to be liked and widly revered worldwide. I don't think he's that subtile so if people wanted to really pay attention, he prioritizes what will give him more eyes, more fame in his heroic endevors. He feels the need to go higher and higher since birth because those high praises are what his family gave, he feels like he needs to live up to that severely. Experimenting on making him Marigold's housemate after the vanishing of her father.

Bake: My tanuki oc! She doesn't see herself as having any major failure in her life but for the most part all she thinks about is eatting and survival as a wild animal, and whatever would get her interest at any given moment. She's a younger character with no role model figure or adult figure in her life. She's really alone. Given her attitude as an animal, has little empathy for others experiences or feelings about death other than a dead thing should stay dead. I think her biggest failure is that she doesn't have any real goals or ambition, no actual reason to strive for continued exsistance other than for survival sake. She just exist, wandering around. She might be depressed but she doesn't know it, because she naps quite a bit. She also really doesn't have any morals unless its just, "This thing will get me killed so don't do that." or "There's food there, food is important for survival. I will take it." Id like to write her more but I get self conscious.

Malinda: This giant red and black spikey dragon. In her eyes, her biggest failure is not getting out of her cave and murdering the king yet because they keep sending these knights to her cave in order to steal from her horde of items. She has a personal vendetta against this one specific king but she can't be bothered yet to take care of it, she's procrastinating. I think her biggest failure is sort of being a hermit and shutting herself off from things. She's a very neutral dragon, almost passive with how much she doesn't care unless something really rouses her. She's just as likely to join a hero's party as much as she is to join the demon lord, its whoever gets to her first and impresses her the most. It's depending on her company how she'll develop.

Lily: My self-insert oc. The easiest way I can describe her species is wolf tulpa person. She specifically has an identity crisis. I made her to try and get through my own trauma and digest it without attacking myself. Wolves are known for their packs and undying loyalty so betraying or deserting them is treason no matter what. She is activly running away from her problems by going around by herself in an RV. She is not able to move past them and that's a major part of her character. She's trying but activly, when she tries to go with other people, to have fun and move past it, feelings kind of consume her. Even one slip up and she gets all scared and withdrawn. She has SAD or Social Anxiety Disorder when she never had that before. She internalizes her greatest failure a lot, the failure to stay and protect the ones she loves and cares about, then seeing them seemingly get corrupted by a miasma right before her eyes, or that dillusion in her part? I purposly make it vauge. I think about Knight Of Despair when thinking about her sometimes. I need to write her but its like staring at a mirror. I can't do it for too long but I'd like to.

[thedeal-if]

The ROs take it upon themselves to wake up the MC so they don't miss work or an appointment, how do they do so? (also hi! i hope you're doing great!)

Hi!! Aw thank you💕 I'm doing great! Hope you are too~!

(Dante is a fucking mess of a man I'd be shocked to see him waking himself up in time to help MC lol)

You wake up to the smell of burning food and the sound of a door snapping open. He’s not exactly running late, but Dante doesn’t have all the time he would have needed to make the situation as memorable as he’d hoped.

“(Name)~ Svegliati, mia gioia~,” Dante coos. English comes back swiftly when he sees you stir, the language switch always turns his pitch a little deeper “We’re running a teensy late and I don’t want to see you stressed~”

You mumble sleepily, “How late?”

Truly, a good question. Dante still doesn’t know how to use a phone, he doesn’t own a watch either, so he cranes his head to check outside, eyes meeting the clock on the hallway wall.

Oh, you really are running late.

“Em,” words are hard to find under pressure, but Dante’s hesitation probably speaks loud enough, and you sit up hastily, bleary-eyed “We should get going soon, gioia. Or now, if you can.”

Lilith, early riser as they usually are, makes sure that their alarm gives them all the time they need to freshen up, dress, and get their makeup done and on point. Getting you to your appointment means seeing you inside and picking you up if you wish them to. Lilith is responsible enough to handle the job, it also involves you, and you’re much more fun than the alternative.

You wake up to find Lilith by your side, sitting on your bed, graceful like a cat, they smile like one too, tentatively. Their care extends to the tender way their fingers graze your cheeks, the teasing touch makes goosebumps paint your skin. Lilith bites back an affectionate smile, they whisper your name instead—as if afraid to break the peacefulness of the early morning.

“Love, time to start the day,” they say.

Josh will end up confessing days later that, though he has always been sure about the time and date, he checks over seven times whether got it right or not. In all honesty, you wouldn’t have guessed he feels paranoid about being wrong, Josh wakes you up like he has done it a million times before.

“Hey, it’s time, Dot,” he says softly. And Josh is exactly on time as always—he will also confess, with a flush, that he waits for over ten minutes while staring at be clock just to do that—, a mug of coffee he brewed earlier in his hands.

Josh waits—he waits often, doesn’t he?—until you’re conscious enough to take the mug into your own hands.

“You’re going to do great today!” the pep talk Josh gives you might come a tad too early for you to fully register anything he’s saying, but Josh’s burst of energy is motivating enough either way.

Villanelle accepts naturally with a cheerful clap of her hands. She expresses some worry but promises she’ll wake up on time. No matter what. Villanelle delivers on her promise the next morning, and her bright smile greets you like the morning sun.

“Rise and shine~” Villanelle sets down a mug on your bedside table. The flowery scent of its contents fills your senses “It’s green tea. It always helps me wake up.”

It must work wonders if one were to judge Villanelle’s ever-bright presence, even so early in the morning. The witch coaxes you until you’re sitting up, she promises she made the tea so you would like it.

Last night Victor checked over the plan with you, he went over the motions and steps methodically. You felt like you were his partner, the two of you getting ready to hunt down some demon—except the only thing that happened was your request for him to wake you up for work.

Victor knocks on your door until you are well awake, he never crossed the threshold, giving you privacy and insisting through the wood only when he feels that you’re running late.

“You’re ready?” Victor questions once you join him in the kitchen. He eyes you briefly before he checks the time, and nods “I’ll drive you there once you’re done— I prepared a simple breakfast.”

Calling it simple is definitely acting up on his modesty. Victor seems to know, he smiles a little when you eye the feast he made. For you.

Despite Aliyah’s initial—quite strong, very verbal—refusal, the genie happens upon your room at the—what are the chances?—ungodly hour you once asked her to wake you up. Aliyah denies her interest in your well-being as is customary. Then, she proves it by being rougher than rough. She pulls up your curtains, rips the bedsheets off of you, laughs at your puffy, sleepy face when you turn to glare at her.

“You knew what you were getting into when you asked,” Aliyah shrugs, she always looks strangely smug when she’s right, but today seems to be an exception. The genie notices your eyes on her, and her self-satisfied smirk returns “Don’t look so worried, human. Confidence is key.”

You think that this is Aliyah’s roundabout way of telling you she believes you’ll do great.

As soon as you ask Nathan to wake you up it’s like a flip is switched, he takes the task as gracefully as he can, with a seriousness that dies almost as soon as it appears. Nathan is blind to your very human emotions, he automatically assumes you’re nervous about your appointment and tries to get your mind off it as best as he can for the rest of the day.

Nathan wakes you up like the two of you are going to a party, with a misplaced cheer that is strangely endearing given the situation.

“Morning, morning!” he beams—albeit a little forcedly—, yawns a couple times, tugs on your hand until you’re sitting up “It’s so… fucking early! What a joy!”

You remind Eden of your need to wake up early the day prior, she makes a note of it and dutifully shakes you awake the next day. Eden stares at you for a few seconds, puffy-eyed and shaking the haze of the morning, then she chuckles.

“Coffee/Tea/Juice?”

She asks like she remembered to buy/brew it, but you find out she didn’t quickly enough when Eden abandons the house to get it fresh for you. It’s an unspoken offer for you to shower and dress, one which you take, and by the time she’s back, you’re ready to go.

[dasboligrafo]

Illinoise -- May 24, 2025 @ St James Theatre

Oh my god, what to say about this one. Remember my theatre rating system (how many times I cried, over 5?) By the system, this show is...what percentage is infinity out of 5?

Basically, the lights went down, the (absolutely fantastic) band swelled out the first few bars of "Concerning the UFO Sighting," and I started silently weeping and I. Could. Not. Stop. for the remainder of the show. Despite being, generally, a huge crybaby, I could not have predicted that reaction.

I passed on seeing this show at the Armory (I have a string of terrible decisions involving the Armory...I still have not seen Lehman Trilogy after passing on seeing it on opening night, among so many others.) I will say I'm not sure that was, for once, necessarily the wrong decision, just because it's hard for me to imagine seeing this show there, especially from high up in the seats. I suppose it depends on the showz but that space can feel quite alienating. The St James is a pretty small theatre and I doubt there are any really bad seats in the house as a result. I'm sure the show got sanitized, some edges polished unto anodyne for Broadway. It doesn't matter. It was so fucking moving.

Before taking my seat, I grabbed my summer theatre treat of choice (the $50 big white wine, with ice. Pure class) and the lady who sold me the drink, while perfectly friendly, asked me what I knew about the show in that sort of tacky way I get asked about stuff in New York by younger white people who assume they must know more than me than whatever interest of theirs I'm about to engage in. (I guess, interpreting charitably, I look like a tourist to them.) I mumbled something about Justin Peck and NYCB, not even trying to get to -- listen, Lady, Sufjan was the music we listened to in college, so by extension, it is the LAST popular music I am aware exists. Sufjan is very much the soundtrack of my life.

Only I didn't really realize that, apparently, until I saw the show? Although I listen to Seven Swans a few times a year, I didn't realize, prior to "Illinoise," that I know every word to "Illinois."

The thing about "Illinois" is that, like all great generational works of art (there, I said it), you can receive it entirely differently depending on your age at the time you encounter it. So when I heard "Illinois" as young dumbass, I thought it was music about yearning; about the things you want so badly and might never realize and/or might not be able to front the cost. And now as an old(er) dumbass I find the record is about regret, about the things you give up and the mistakes you make ("I made a lot of mistakes...") making those choices or letting them happen to you, and about how the choices haunt you, even as you're making them. And I didn't understand that then, although the *second* word sung on the record is "revenant."

The *magic* of this record is that it is spiritual concept folk-rock opera music, still managing to connect, in an age devoid of spiritualism and shy of conceptual pop music, with an incredibly broad audience. To clarify, I'm talking about the current age; when the record came out, you could still make a concept album. I believe that age ended around 2012, Kendrick Lamar excepted. I don't know when the age of spiritualism ended, I think it was before I was conscious of contemporary art works. If you go to a Sufjan Stevens concert, or to "Illinoise" for that matter, you will be treated to the sight of literal children -- people under 15 years old -- singing all the lyrics. And crying millennials, naturally. My boomer friend told me "Chicago" is his and his (gen z) daughter's song, dating to when he drove her to Chicago for graduate school.

And oh, yes, it is a sublime piece of Americana purporting to exalt the state of Illinois and its millions of inhabitants and events, past and present, and actually examining, at the most personal level, how faith can fail to deliver you, and still impart your life with grace.

The magic of "Illinoise" is that it is a concept ballet masquerading as Broadway, of all things, i.e. an expression of universalism and accessible theatrical cliche where the text is, incredibly, a tale-as-old-as-time style campfire story anthology (hello, Decameron! I've got your story framing device here....) WITH NO DIALOGUE, about leaving your (gay) lover behind to experience the pleasure and promise of the big city and how you will feel regret and gratitude forever for the gift of having him, the gift of moving on, the gift and curse of free choice, the curse of loss.

When I think about "Illinois" only barely disguising its core concern with Christianity ("to recreate us...all things go, all things go" only a couple misunderstood syllables away from "to the Creator..." for example) and outright telling us what it's about in other places ("I made a lot to mistakes," "If I was crying, in the van, with my friend, it was for freedom from myself and from the land," etc)...this beautiful directness and lack of high-minded artifice was always already destined to be on Broadway. I didn't mind that the show is, at times, frankly...quite literal. I experienced "Illinoise" as the rare miracle of a message arriving packaged in its perfect medium. I feel so fortunate to have seen it.

Coda: I thought the dancing was fantastic, easily my favorite Justin Peck choreo this year. Genuinely accessible, technically proficient, appropriate to its text and moving.

[aparticularbandit]

here's a fun question that i haven't thought through yet but could be fun

a giant mecha monokuma slammed through the ceiling right

mass destruction on people who were not suspecting it

of the three people who were there, one of them is still conscious (kyoko, the answer is kyoko, she's the pov character, i needed her conscious), one of them is dead (which was not intended but fits, i think, with the whole), and one is unconscious. definitely with a head wound, but probably no lasting head trauma.

here's the question.

should the character who is currently unconscious with a head wound, by nature of being closest to the epicenter of the landing monokuma, maybe also have some sort of spinal injury. re: paralysis.

like maybe they should be the one that isn't dead and the other person should be paralyzed (which actually would make sense, but there's a different sort of. impact. depending on who dies)....

you know what, spoiler talk under the cut, i actually want to crowd source this and talk this through and have thoughts.

right now hina is dead. done. gone. dead.

this currently leads to a potential conversation between kyoko and junko (or ryoko post-memory recovery - i'm not sure how much is still junko at that point, i'll get there) about whether junko knew hina would die and if she did, then why didn't she tell kyoko because hina was right next to kyoko and kyoko could have saved her.

i like this potential conversation in terms of 1) junko trauma (if i go with what i'm currently planning re: chiaki, the lasting impact of good people die saving people becomes its own theme - chiaki dying saving junko (when they were kids! so i guess more chiaki dying saving ryoko); makoto dying saving junko; junko choosing to die (sort of) because that's the proper ending (and also saves everyone else from her); kyoko doesn't get the option to die saving hina because kyoko would have died instead) and 2) the limits of junko's ability - she could predict that mikan would come save her, she could even predict how mikan came to save her, but she can't predict where all of the debris landed or where everyone was standing when the debris landed (she could guess at that, at least), and so couldn't have predicted who got hit where/how and so couldn't have known that hina would die to tell kyoko in the first place (not that she would have told kyoko anyway).

but.

byakuya could die instead.

he was at the epicenter of the monokuma landing by proxy of being right next to junko. the monokuma could literally have landed on him and crushed him.

...but i think actually being at the epicenter would protect him because they would need to make sure that junko wasn't hurt when they came to get her, so it's likely he shouldn't be hurt too terribly bad either.

and also byakuya dying would lead to a whole thing with toko/jack, which would lead to even more wanting to murder junko, but anything that hurts byakuya could do that, just not on necessarily the same scale. permanent lasting damage would have a similar effect. especially if he's paralyzed from the waist down.

(this would also lead to toko hovering around byakuya even more than before because she would be trying to help him with the wheelchair and etc. which he would hate. but she would absolutely try to play nurse with him. which would feel really gross but would also be very much in line with danganronpa and would also parallel mikan's treatment of ryoko. for all that we love mikan, there are definitely elements of yeah, but going on with her treatment of ryoko. particularly regarding yasuke. what she knows and says and keeps to herself. what she tries to control with regards to ryoko.

the idea of this injury also being worse because toko tried to move him. like - that's something you instinctively do, right, or maybe she would, seeing byakuya passed out and surrounded by sparking wires and potential more falling debris - it's pick him up, get him out - but like. there are very clear moments when that's a bad idea and you let the professionals do it (but they wouldn't know that professionals were on the way at all!) - and the effects of trying to move and help and save someone who's hurt who was better off not being moved because of things you did not know - how interfering can sometimes make things worse is also a good. parallel with mikan and junko in this situation.)

....

which means i've maybe talked myself into hina stays dead and yes, byakuya paralysis, but.

still taking thoughts if people have thoughts? would like thoughts.

[ramblingdrunkenknight]

Mephiston was approaching the Saint Reymanaud Cathedral as he had so many times before, barely paying attention to his surroundings as he was dead set on the Scholasticate Library when he was stopped by Veldreth. It was unusual seeing the scholar outside of the Library; Mephiston had grown used to seeing him there and only there, however before the old man could think any more about the strangeness of the situation, Veldreth demanded blatantly, "Follow me."

Not having much of a choice, as he was there for Veldreth anyway, he followed. Before he had the chance to question where they were going, they arrived at the Aetheryte plaza of Ishgard, when Veldreth started to explain, "You fulfilled your part of the deal, so I will now start fulfilling mine. For this, however, we will need to pay a visit to my tower. Due to the distance to my tower's Aetheryte and your stunted Aether, this will be quite a rough teleport, so prepare yourself."

Not quite sure what would await him, Mephiston said, "I suppose it's too late to turn back now! I will manage; we can go ahead whenever you're ready," to which Veldreth answered with a simple "Hm," as he took the old man's arm and started attuning to the Aetheryte.

What exactly followed right after is unknown to Mephiston, for he did not, in fact, 'manage'. All he remembers is the sight of a blue sky and the feeling of dirt in his face.

Waking up with a splitting headache, Mephiston scanned his surroundings and felt lost. What he saw was unlike anything he'd ever seen before; it was as if he was inside of a giant mushroom with corridors left, right, and even above. The walls were weird and twisted, and the air was strange. As he stood up from the bed he found himself in, it felt like the ground was moving beneath his feet, however before Mephiston had any more time to take it all in, Veldreth approached from one of the many corridors.

"It seems you were not quite prepared after all. You were gone for a day, but aside from the headache you're most likely experiencing currently, there shouldn't be any other side effects," he said mockingly, noticing the obvious confusion in the old man's face and continuing before Mephiston got a chance to talk. "This is Tel Dun, my tower off the northern coast of Ilsabard. All the equipment I require for the removal of the device on your neck is already ready in an adjacent chamber. I'd appreciate it if we could get it over with; I don't quite enjoy visitors."

Still a bit overwhelmed, the old man noted, "I'm guessing any questions as to the nature of this place wouldn't end up with me getting an answer, so aye, I suppose the faster we get it over with, the better," and followed the scholar, who had already gone ahead, through the maze-like corridors, ending up in what looked like a laboratory of some kind.

"Would you like to be conscious during the operation, or do you want me to put you to sleep?" Veldreth asked, to which Mephiston answered, "I've been out for a day already. I suppose another one won't be too bad on my track record," chuckling slightly and laying down on the table in the middle of the chamber. Veldreth just nodded and approached the table, saying, "You know where to find me. I'll await you there once you're ready for the continuation of our deal," and putting Mephiston to sleep with a spell.

Once again waking up, the old man recognized his surroundings immediately. He was in his room in Ishgard, though he had been away for around two days. To him, it felt like it was just a few hours since he was last here, for he was unconscious for most of that time.

Standing up, Mephiston approached a mirror to see if the device was gone, and to his relief, it was. Though he already felt much more energized than he had the past few weeks, actually seeing that it was gone gave him another boost.

Preparing to head out already, he found a note reading "Send my regards to Haustefort" in his pockets, so he decided that he might as well do that, surely he'd be able to find Antares somewhere. Before he would go on that journey though, he really needed to find something to eat, for he was incredibly hungry.

[allthefujoshiunite]

Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments from "Love for Sale"?

Thanks, Nora, because of you I found this manhwa, and it became one of my top fav BL ever.

Oh, have you read, "Dear Gene" by Azuma Kaya? It's also one of my favorite BL ever.... (Sorry if you already know it and don't really love them).

I can't put into words how happy it makes me that you liked Love for Sale... I don't think even Dal Hyeonji would feel this happy about someone liking their work SHFKUS but it's just SOO dear to me! Thank you for giving it a chance.

Obviously, there will be spoilers for Love for Sale below.

As for my top 5 moments.

The moment Namwoo finally realizes that he's the horndog in the relationship lol. From the moment they met, he's fixated on what he can provide for the money he's taking from Sieon, and since he's so rich and can literally buy anything he wants, there must be one thing and one thing only he wants from Namwoo: sex. Namwoo thinks Sieon must be a pervert for spending so much money on him (thus expecting a lot of sex in return) but it's actuallly him that constantly initiates sex. I kept waiting for the moment of realization!

The night Sieon went up to Namwoo's apartment to try his "toys". This is another favorite of mine because of how casual, funny and sexy at the same time. Still giggle whenever I remember Namwoo's middle finger action xD

Namwoo's realization that his sunbae was actually in love with him as well. I honestly didn't see this coming?! Probably because we never get to see his side of the story, and his "advances" could only be read as friendly invites. I should've been suspicious because I knew he picked up the nature of Namwoo and Sieon's relationship when they've first seen each other at the mall.

Namwoo and his sister Eunjung having a Love Declaration Olympics in the middle of a crowd. I mentioned in another answer that I love Eunjung for several reasons, and that scene is both so hilarious and emotional, I couldn't help but add it to the list. I love all of their interactions but this one probably takes the cake.

Sieon's blush. You know which chapter I'm talking about, right? xD I wouldn't believe you if you were to tell me that seeing a character blush after 70+ chapters would make me cry but here we are. This is top grade story-telling. Building everything up until such a "minor" point AND having a cathartic pay off, I can only bow down.

WHEW. Thank you for giving me another chance to gush about Love for Sale, because I feel self-conscious lol. I keep inserting the series whenever I get an ask or start blabbing unprovoked... Anyways. There were a lot more I liked about it, like our redhead with anger management issues looking back on his relationship with Sieon, or Namwoo's heartfelt convo with the female friend in his friend circle, OR Sieon reuniting with his mother. It's so hard to pick. But anyways, I'll stop here before I list anything and everything that transcribed in the series.

As for Dear Gene. I did read the parent manga, The Scene of My Rumspringa and liked it a lot! You can feel the weight and importance of the theme to the author, because only then you get a delicate story packed with emotions. Dear Gene was recommended to me as well, but I want to wait for the official English release because my Japanese is not at a level where I can comfortably read manga. I can get by with dictionaries and apps when the BL has your run of the mill story, I usually guess what's gonna happen from the very first chapter anyway. But BLs with deeper conversations and topics are hard to get through. I'll leave it to the translators and enjoy when I can. I'm looking forward to it!

[ewingstan]

Mary from Twig

First Impression: "Oh, so the first major villain-of-the-week characters is a little girl? I guess that's appropriate given the main cast, but I wouldn't think they'd face off against something that thematically mirrors them like that for a few arcs. Cool idea, a shame that she's probably gonna be killed by the end of this." So yeah, I was not expecting Mary to be a reoccurring character. And once it became clear that she was joining the Lambs, I thought for sure she wouldn't stay for more than a few arcs before finding out how Sy manipulated her against Percy and turning against everyone. That was partially driven by me thinking she'd become a love interest for Sy and then we'd get to milk the drama of that relationship falling apart for a while. Was pleasantly surprised when that didn't happen, especially because it lead 1) to us seeing how Sy tries to contend with his nature as an incredibly manipulative person and trying to limit how much he hurts people close to him, and 2) led to the much more interesting "I'm fond of you but also I'd push you off a cliff if everyone else in the friendgroup didn't love you so much" relationship she has with Sy.

Impression Now: More interested in her for her relationship with other characters than I am in her as an individual personality. I kind of wish more had been done with her self-perception as a puppet/her desire to fulfill a perfect servitor role for whoever she's closest to. Don't get me wrong, it led to some interesting (in a fucked-up way) stuff with Lillian. But I kinda wish we got more from her interludes addressing how self-conscious she was of it, whether she tries to push against it or leans into it, how other people close to her react to it, etc. And I really wish I got more of a sense of how it meshed with her becoming a Noble. Besides the obvious change in power dynamics between her and Lillian, it feels like even accepting the change would have required some pretty intense changes in her self-conception, changes we never get to see. And yeah, it would probably weaken Twig as a whole to have a more extended ending exploring how all the Lambs felt about becoming Nobles. But still.

Favorite Moment: I really love the mock-fight she holds with Sy in front of the soldiers at Hackthorn. The skill of making it look like Sy is holding his own while also constantly signalling to him privately how many times she could have ended him....it feels like a pretty good encapsulation of their whole relationship. More than any other Lamb, I think Sy was thinking of Mary when he was setting up the looney toons-esque "you'll chase me from town to town and I'll stay just out of reach while casually checking in and giving you things to take credit for" plan in Corinth. With her more than anyone else, the idea of "lets play at fighting to the death while wearing the points we could have scored against each other as personal badges of honor" seems like an actually feasible way to spend a lifetime.

Idea for a Story: Like I said, I'd love more exploration of Lady Margaret, especially focusing on how she and Lillian handled it going forwards. Aside from that, I would probably want to see someone actually try to map out how her ill-fated mission with Duncan went.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know if Twig has enough of a fandom for there to be enough big fandom opinions on Mary for me to disagree with.... her offscreen relationship with Gordon doesn't interest me? Was anyone invested in that?

Favorite Relationship: Her and Lillian. Its the most unhealthy mess I've ever seen. I love it. A super unsure-of-herself doctor and her best friend/patient/kissing buddy who acts incredibly confident and self-assured while having no idea who she is or what she wants. Stellar stuff. Could have been so much more.

Favorite Headcanon: I like the idea of her eventually meeting and hanging out with the rouge Ghost who Dog and Catcher partnered up with in Tynewear. Feel like they'd have a lot to talk about. Actually scratch what I said above, this is the story idea I'd be most interested in.

[undead-potatoes]

I wanna ask that question right back! Which of your OCs is most like you? I'm curious!

I thought about this question for like an hour while trying to sleep last night, and all I'll say is don't do deep self reflection exercises in the dark before bed kids

Also this got kinda long, ops 🙈

Much like you (and I'm sure everyone else) I put pieces of myself into all my OCs, intentionally or otherwise, and so they all have bits of me.

I don't know if it's because he's so fresh in my mind, or if it's because I didn't have too much of a plan going in so he just became a natural reflection of me, but Jay is really high up there on the list.

Loud, talkative, jovial, happiest when he's of help to others, solution oriented and takes most unforeseen problems in his stride. But he's also incredibly self-conscious, and terrified of taking up space or being a bother to someone else, often forgoing his own needs bc it's not THAT important, it's fine. Sorry for existing.

He naturally gravitates towards other people's problems and a wish to help them (whether that's welcome or not), but prefers to stick his head in the sand when it comes to dealing with his own shit. When things get bad emotionally he goes into himself, and can become borderline dissociative, just lost to the void.

He's extremely good at finding stuff other people need but can't find, feeding into this need to be helpful. He's bit of a control freak and perfectionist too, and has to stop himself and call it good enough or he'll go on forever (wow look how topical)

I could honestly keep going but this is long enough as it is 🙈 I have no idea how we ended up here but I guess he's my emotional support self-insert blorbo now, bye.

Still, he's his own character. He's much better with people than I am, especially children, and doesn't have Retsuko-levels of rage bubbling right under the surface at all times. He's more manipulative and mischievous, and small grievances bounce off him easier. I only ignore my problems until I have to deal with them, he actively runs away from his. He's more extroverted than me, and doesn't mind big crowds, while they're the bane of my existence. And so on and so forth.

ANYWAYS this somehow turned into the a Jay post, I'm sorry lmao. His character wasn't really planned at all, I just let him grow naturally from the way I played (kinda like with you and your Aeducan), and once I took a step back and looked at him I was like "hold on a minute, this is just me if I was cool and had extra trauma, what the fuck".

Honorable mentions of pillars of my own personality shoved into other characters go to;

Courier May (F3/NV) - So damn angry all the time about everything, much of it useless and a waste of energy, but it's really hard to turn it off.

Nimri Brosca DA:O) - This applied more to younger me, but I can get REALLY ride or die for someone, like to the point where it becomes a major character flaw.

Pomona Hawke (DA2) - Did you eat? Yes? Are you sure? Are you wearing enough layers? When did you last apply sunscreen? Did you remember to drink enough today? [The mother hen questions goes on for another 5 minutes]. Also everything is always my fault somehow.

Sam Jones (VtM:B) - Just absolutely insufferable about social justice, and the other half of my rage that's an answer to injustice. You've not seen me angry until I've had a whiff of something cruelly unfair.

And because I feel like I've been too negative here;

Ridley (Coral Island) - Hard-working and generous :)c