#I'm still not conscious of what he was talking about and I guess that's natural bc I wasn't conscious of it then but I know

[prettyboykatsuki]

best friend yuuji? you’ve just rang the dinner bell

i was just thinking like.

im adding this after writing but this is soooo fucking long lmao im sorry.

tags for fem!reader (reader is referred to as a girl many times, no explicit mention of anatomy), best friends to lovers, 18+ etc

okay. i feel like you and yuuji meet in a stereotypical way

yuuji is your best friend. you met when you guys were sat next to each other in school (classic case of quiet kid and loud kid) but yuuji is uber friendly so he naturally made friends with you. you guys always clicked. in a weird way. no one else could ever fully grasp it

but you just get each other. you have similar mindsets and find each other comfortable. so you grow up and into each other - and become best friends after a long while. he comes over a lot to yap while you study and while it looks one-sided - you often take care of and look after yuuji and make sure he's not carrying too much at once.

anyway . you have a really good relationship. you're not glued at the hip but it's like, you stick together so much people often ask where the other is when one of you is missing. you get older to around middle school and puberty starts to really . hit you know.

a lot of girls confess to yuuji in that time. it's normal. sure he's rowdy and loud but he's the kind of good guy you notice when you really talk to him. fundamentally good, and not crude and shallow like other boys your age. popular but not obviously. it's the first time in your relationship you are self conscious about being his best friend and just happening to be a girl

there's rumors and stuff. you and him never talk about it until some stuff happen (like yuuji seeing it cause problems) and then you talk. the gist of it is basically that - you're yuujis best friend in the world and nothing could change that. it doesn't matter who you are. he's just trying to show you he cares

and you realize right then you are in love with him.

years go by. you get a little older. you go through highschool much like middle school - with no boyfriend. yuuji dates infrequently but usually gets broken up with. this pattern repeats into college.

(what you don't know, because yuuji never bothered to ask - is that the girls he used to date broke up with him simply because he wouldn't shut up about you. everything he should've done with a girlfriend he did with you already. he even keeps pictures)

when you get into college and grow into adulthood, you and yuuji are still extremely close. you chose to stay home and so did he - so not much is very different. except now you're meeting all sorts of new people and having new relationships form.

you don't know how exactly it comes up. you're studying for an upcoming midterm, yuuji is talking about how he got turned out by the cute girl that he works with and he pauses and asks.

"you know, i know you study hard but you should have fun too," he says this laying in your bed like he owns it, turning his head to look at you where you're bent over your desk. "haven't you thought about getting a boyfriend now that you're in college?"

you are good at brushing this off. you've been doing it for years. you do not tell yuuji that you don't date guys even after you get asked out because you're in love. you just shrug and tell him straight.

"i already told you. im not going to think about dating until i'm finished with school and i've held my career for two years."

"but aren't you bored?" yuuji asks, sincere. he doesn't press you but he is being nosy. "i don't play around that much either but i don't know. a little is healthy. and you've always working hard. playing around with handsome guys might be fun."

"not gonna change my mind."

"don't you get i dunno," he lays on his back. "sexually frustrated, though?"

you pause. you flinch. you've never talked about this before.

you clear your throat a little. "don't be inappropriate. and i do the job myself just fine."

"i guess girls don't have to worry about losing their virginity as much as guys but,"

you try to move on as swiftly as you can from talking about this in relation to yourself. "you make it sound like you slut around, yuu-chan."

he laughs a little behind you. "well no but you know. it's nice laying with another person. only if we're together though."

"yeah, sure. good for you. stop pestering me about it then and go get a girlfriend."

"so mean," he replies, laying back on his stomach. "but do you really not care at all about losing it?"

you frown, swallowing the words explaining that you do care but not just anyone will do. you give him a half truth. a lie of omission.

"it's not that i don't care but it has to be with someone i trust a lot. i don't know any guys like that, so,"

"ehh?? what about me?"

you freeze. you're sure you're mishearing it. "what about you?"

"well... you trust me right? so i could help you with it until you do find a boyfriend,"

you turn around. surely not. surely you misheard. surely he did not tell you to have sex with him so casually. you turn around to verify he's fucking with you.

only to find the most blatant sincerity you've ever seen. he's never been entirely stupid but well. he has his moments.

"do you even know what you're saying? you have to get it up for me to do that."

"well sure. but im reliable and trusrtworthy. and maybe it'll relax you a bit."

you think at that point you're definitely losing your shit but no. unfortunately your guy is dead serious. and you know, yuuji is an idiot but he's not enough of an idiot to not know it's unconventional - but in the moment, in the second he asks, his reasoning is for good. he gets a weird little feeling thinking about you losing it to someone you don't trust you know?

you obviously debate with him on this. you refute him, even - telling him that there's no way he thinks that's a good idea. and you go back and forth and you stop him at some point. to just be like

"do you even think you could kiss me?"

and yuuji just stands to his feet, leans over your desk, and kisses you.

and well. after that, it's kind of like you can't keep your hands off of each other.

it's clumsy your first time. you have no experience. but yuuji is your best friend, and he's himself - so he's patient and gentle and sooo very helpful. he teaches you to kiss and breathe through your nose and open your mouth and all sorts of other things. he's big so it's kind of hard to put it in but he takes is time. the sex feels really, really good and is intimate - almost naturally because that's your very best friend in the entire universe.

and so like. you guys have sex. you dont really plan it or anything but somehow when you get alone - it just gets so, so tense and neither of you can seem to cool down.

and how could you, you know? you've always wanted to fuck yuuji and maybe, seemingly, he wants it too. he gets so red when you bend down on your knees and try to blow him and it makes you so confident. you just... start fucking all the time. and you guys have been so close that no one cares if you two are alone together or not.

and so like. you begin this intensely sexual relationship and miraculously unchanged relationship. like you hang out as normal. and you fuck alot. and it's amibigous and vague.

you're kind of torn up about it, but yuuji is the kind of guy to not hook up with more than one person - so it's not hard to delude yourself into dating. he's already sweet and cuddly and thoughtful. and you know, you've always been so, so strict with yourself. you're really on top of your shit you know? so you reason with yourself, fine. ill just do this and see what happens. it's not like you.

(but it's hard to be strict with yourself when he makes you cum six times you know.)

so weirdly, in a weird way - you're kind of fine. you're a bit numb, a bit adjusted to it.

BUT YUUJI? OH YUUJI IS GOING THROUGH IT.

look. i mean what i said about yuuji being sincere and dense about this whole thing. he really does just want to help you and he doesn't think anything of it. sure sex is for someone you love, but yuuji does love you so it's fine to him.

the problem? the problem is you go from looking like a vague, amorphous and wonderful friend whose appearance he rarely thinks of (outside of beautiful, because of course you are - you're his best friend)

and instead become the most insanely fuckable person he has ever laid his eyes on and it is . ruining his life.

again. it's not as if yuuji ever thought you were unattractive. beauty is bigger than appearance to him, always has been - and you've always been the most beautiful girl in every room because you had a lovely character to you. he adores you. as a friend.

he never.... saw you in any other way. not even when other people kept assuming he did. you're a girl so he knew people would try to box you into that with him regardless but it was never like that. or at least, in his head it was never like that.

sure, whenever he dates someone - he is subconsciously compares them to you and sure, no matter what the person he has the most fun with is you but that's normal right? best friends is a big deal after all

you have sex for the first time and it's like. all of a sudden he's seeing all these aspects of you completely different. it's such a dramatic shift for him. like.

but it's not.... just your body really. of course not. he's not just lusting after ou but there's just something different about how you look in his eyes. something about how you readjust your sweater, how you wipe the corners of your mouth. something about the way you look at his place with shorts and a comfortable shirt just barely riding up your stomach and matching fuzzy socks (that are kinda matted from being worn)

all of this is just so, so fucking sexy now. he gets the weirdest fluttery feeling and just . can't help but be on you. you don't even know what you do to him either, and how could you? but god it destroys him. really ruins him to see you all doe eyed. know how you feel when you cling onto his biceps.

for the longest time - he can barely figure out whats doing it to him.

and then like. one day you're finished having sex and you're both so tired you fall asleep. and you're at his place - naked in his bed. he wakes up in the middle of the night. he moves the covers you know, to get up and get a towel - wipe you down.

and then you sort of hold onto him. still asleep. you let out a very soft whiny nooo, and he just. finds it so cute. so without thinking, he leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead and tells you to keep sleeping which you comply with bc ur not awake anyway.

and then when he sits up again he's like. oh. shit shit shit. shit.

that's when it hits him that he's in love with you which is. troubling to say the least. not only because he feels guilty for ruining your friendship but also because he knows himself well enough to know there's no way he could hold himself back.

but he thinks about and... does he have too? he knows it won't be right away but you do this with him too. so maybe, just maybe, there's a chance right?

for what its worth, i do think you two end up together with a minimal amount of angst. but the amount of heavy ass pining...the months it goes on of you two getting insanely, unbearably intimate and then not talking about it. and like. yuuji tests the waters with you. kisses you before he leaves, and does all sorts of stuff but you always go with it. you both cover it up but eventually it all spills and i think that's mostly cause yuuji is so open ......

anyways.... best friend yuuji.... he is on my mind....

[creative-clawmarks]

So I wanna talk paralytics and paralysis in regards to Alex's venom (bc I like going on random science deep dives) SO- as I understand it- there are a few different types of paralytics which affect different bodily functions via different methods, but when most people think of temporary paralysis, they think of neuromuscular paralysis, which is what doctors use during surgeries, and some species of jellyfish and snake use to be absolutely terrifying.

Neuromuscular agents won't knock a person out or prevent pain, they just prevent movement. The problem here is that the diaphragm is a skeletal muscle and is affected by neuromuscular paralysis, meaning that without a ventilator or another breathing apparatus, suffocation is practically guaranteed. Really this applies to all neuromuscular agents/neurotoxins.

Here's the interesting thing I found however- Tick Paralysis, which doesn't always affect breathing. Usually starts out as acute ataxia (muscle weakness) and can progress to muscular paralysis if the tick isn't removed. While tick paralysis is also caused by a neurotoxin, my guess is that because ticks are so small the venom isn't particularly potent, and they don't produce a ton of it.

For Alex's venom to not outright kill via asphyxiation, the potency would probably have to be low enough to allow for diaphragm movement (though probably still weakened) but high enough to trap prey, which is a hell of a needle to thread. That, or it's a neurotoxin that specifically avoids effecting the diaphragm, which doesn't really exist as far as I know (then again, vampires don't either)

TL:DR - Neurotoxins are scary as hell and it's likely that someone envenomed by Alex would experience weakened breathing, if not outright suffocation.

(there's a 2008 movie called The Burrowers where the monsters use a venom that effectively causes Locked-in syndrome, but the science is kinda iffy. Roanoke Gaming as a video on it)

You've given me the perfect opportunity to go into depth on this.

So there's this trope I see in vampire stories where something about the vampire's bite makes it so their victims don't struggle. Usually this is due to supernatural influence, a charm or compulsion that makes the bite pleasant instead of painful.

But I wanted the bite to be painful, and more than that I wanted just the idea of being bitten to be terrifying. So I though, what is something naturally occurring that makes it so that something can't move but can still feel pain?

Why, paralytic venom of course!

(I then proceeded to do zero research lol.)

With this new information I can confidently say that, yes, Alex's venom is a neuromuscular paralytic. It makes it so that his prey cannot escape but leaves them conscious and able to feel pain. It does not, however, bring a risk of asphyxiation, because if Alex is going to kill someone I want it to be on purpose. I suppose that means his venom doesn't target the respiratory system, which considering we're talking about fictional monsters I'm gonna say we can suspend our disbelief here.

Humans stand basically no chance against something like that, but other monsters could fight if off much faster due to their regenerative abilities. That's how Tim survived Entry 56/57, Alex was banking on his venom to keep Tim down but instead he shook it off and managed to flee. He would've gotten away if it weren't for the Operator.

Ok, that should be everything...

"But wait!" I hear you cry, "If Alex's venom is super scary and not at all pleasant, then why does Jay like getting bitten by him?"

Because Jay is a freak. Next question.

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KO-FI

[lopposting]

On the freckles + Geppetto (Spoilers below)

Geppetto saying "it looks like you inherited his personality instead of his memories" is very very suspicious, and he says "personality" with such disdain - if you were a father who loved their child, wouldn't you want them to retain their core persona of who they were, than remember exactly everything from your past? I don't know, is it just me, or doesn't it feel like it's more important? I know memories make us who we are, but it still really came across as a deliberate piece of dialogue to word

Geppetto didn't want Carlo back, he specifically wants an obedient version of him, the rotting/preserved corpse body puppet is to show that Carlo was long gone. Remember that one of the most important decisions in the game is granting Sophia "her peace", which is her having the choice to end her own life. And then the nameless puppet is revealed, and it's as if Carlo is being kept alive against his own will (like as Simon does with Sophia). no wonder carlo didn't like him, the really disturbing thing is that nameless puppet still defies Geppetto in the end which suggests that it/(he??) is still somewhat conscious?? .. wat.

Another Character design I've noticed... and this is me making BIG leaps, by the way, I don't mean to make any statement on korean culture as a whole, but skin has a lot of symbolic meaning, and importance, in korean society. I know every country has stuff like this, but it seems really significant here considering this is a korean studio, ill try to get into why

P has very noticeable freckles on his skin, I can even say that they're hard to ignore (especially his right cheek), they're even visible in promotional material. and the irony is that he possesses these "flaws" and is more human-like despite being "artificial", he also has visible pores!! something completely natural, human, that stringent societal norms might deem as "imperfect"

Freckles can be seen as "imperfections" in korean culture (I mean I can only guess, and I suppose this negative perception is a little the same in the west as well?), they have this term called "glass skin" which is what is deemed as the "ideal": zero blemishes, really even tone, and often lighter in tone is seen as "beautiful", and there's a lot of pressure to be that way. It's a really pervasive idea that I don't think I am in the position to really talk about, and I don't mean to demean the culture, it's not like this is exclusive to korea/asia, I'm just mentioning it to explain this in the context of the game

And then "Carlo" doesn't have ANY of these things. He has "PERFECT" skin, those freckles are just gone. I feel like this isn't just a mistake. it kind of gets a message across about Geppetto's real intentions in reviving him. I mean, it's possible that maybe it's more of a siblings situation, and Carlo simply just didn't have freckles? but if you think about it from a storytelling perspective, remember that Geppetto refers to him as "mischievous", an odd translation maybe, but everything else suggests that the real Carlo was actually deeply defiant of his father while he was alive, again I think it sends a message about Giuseppe re-creating his son but without the things he saw as "flaws" in his son that he didn't like

yeah... loving this game more and more by the day

[professorhayforbreath]

so episode 5. all my thoughts

we picked up where the last one left off, good start

annabeth saying she knows percy isn't dead... how. to annabeth and grover there should have been no way percy was alive and finding out he was should've been so emotional but instead she was like dw i know he's not dead lol. it's kind of... lazy writing? like how are you gonna write a scene as gut wrenching as percy trapping himself with a monster and telling his friends to complete the quest without him because he's actively dying and has no reason to believe he'll survive, and then make the fallout of that so... nonchalant? idk if it's a time limit thing but that was so underwhelming to me

annabeth being the one to see the fates... no

fugitive percy enjoyers at least we won!!!!

the trio peeking over the road barrier at ares was cute goofy silly i liked that :)

gabe on the news shit talking percy i'm hooting and hollering!! "i really-- WE really loved that car" and "i'm gonna kill him". excellent. now put percy on the news fake crying about his "loving" stepfather i believe in you

i did want them to acknowledge annabeth's lack of experience with the world outside camp but having her say "i've never seen any kind of movie" has gotta be one of the weirdest ways they could've done that

the turnstile scene was cool i guess but as we go on i'm more and more conscious of how many episodes are left and how much plot there is to get through and idk i feel like this scene could've hit the cutting room floor and we wouldn't have lost anything

i do love the ambience of the park though. maybe i'm easy to impress because the aesthetic of an abandoned amusement park is just fantastic on its own but the set was very cool. wish it wasn't so dark so i could've actually seen it ❤️

percy and annabeth having a serious conversation with 'what is love' blaring in the background is sending me

first ever seaweed brain dropped! i liked the way they did it, it felt natural

actually back to the "i've never seen a movie" thing. you're telling me that in this version of the story, in which frederick chase was apparently a great dad who treated annabeth like a gift, he never took her to the movies? or she never watched one on tv? she had a whole seven years of life in the real world before going to camp and she's never seen a movie

annabeth isn't allowed to have fears she's too smart for that apparently

i think the scene with the chair was overall well executed with some great lines and fantastic acting but... idk. they really scrapped the original scene just to do what they already did last episode. i miss the spiders i miss hephaestus tv. it felt redundant to have percy sacrifice himself again. percy this is the second time today you've been like "no dw i'll just die" do you need to talk to someone

annabeth disillusionment arc complete already? calm down guys this is season one

ZOO TRUCK ZOO TRUCK ZOO TR

so it's confirmed the reason they go into the lotus casino is BECAUSE hermes is there :/ they said these literal children cannot fall for tricks and traps it's too unrealistic

not much to say about the grover and ares scenes bc i don't know what to make of them. i didn't mind them. ares had some funny lines. i guess my only complaint is that the grover i know would not have been so calm talking to the god of war. i'm curious to see where that cliffhanger leads

is it just me or did the pacing improve a little bit this episode?

despite how negative i sound i enjoyed episode 5 a lot more than episode 4. there are still so many weird changes, additions, and omissions though. honestly i think a big part of the reason i enjoyed this one is because i'm not expecting anything anymore. i'm not getting my hopes up about them adapting the book normally i'm just intrigued by this thing like a scientist observing an experiment. like hmm what are they doing now? fascinating *takes notes*

[cer-rata]

Fic WIP: "Welcome home(?) Chris Kent!"

Chris sighed. “...So yeah, I don’t really remember being an adult. Just bits and pieces. I remember Thara, and the Nightwing. Um. That’s about it on details.”

B+ nodded and rubbed his chin. Chris was intentionally leaving things out, that’s what his spot analysis of his body-language, mannerisms and tone told him. Perhaps he’d be willing to share more later when they were friends…if B+ didn’t manage to mess it up.  “Fascinating series of events for a twelve-year-old. Disturbing, in many ways.”

Chris rolled his eyes. “I’m not really twelve, I’m actually an adult, I just look like--”

B+ shook his head and looked down at the datapad that was monitoring Chris' vitals. “No. No, I'm pained to inform you that you’ve misunderstood the flow of your life.”

Chris frowned. “...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, from what I can tell, you didn’t live an accelerated life in that you lived at a normal pace in a pocket of reality that moved faster along the timeline than the one you originated from. Rather, your body aged more quickly than it should have on a purely physical level. Sure, that meant your brain reached a certain stage of development sooner, but you didn’t gain the experience you would have had from living into adulthood naturally, so experientially you didn’t really age at all. Legally, and ethically you were always a child. And that would be true even if you did remember everything. 

“So really I could still say you were six or seven, but with the accumulated experience you lived through and do remember...and though you were incorporeal when you were in the phantom zone the second time, and I have no concrete way of knowing how long you were there for…I do know that Kon-El is also from your timeline and only remembers a year passing between when he was lost and when Impulse found him. That was five or six years ago now, and you were conscious for that period of time. Meaning: I think eleven or twelve is probably fair. I can go with twelve if that makes you feel any better. Luckily, that’s about where your body ended up as well.”

Chris stared at him with wide eyes. Then his lips twisted and he sat back down on the floor of his containment chamber. “...Oh. I…I guess that makes sense.”

B+ nodded without looking up from the data he was reading. “It does, but I still think it’s kind of messed up, actually. The adults sent me to talk to you because they’re all upset and didn’t want you to pick up on it. Subconsciously they seem to think that I don’t process emotion still and as such wouldn’t bother you by being agitated. Bias from experience with my predecessor. I am not hurt by it, but…I do hope to at some point convince them that I am truly a separate being.” His third eye flicked up and over to look at Chris and caught the alarmed recognition in his eyes in the second before he was able to hide it. “...Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk about myself. I was going to say that I am also upset: You shouldn’t have had an adult girlfriend when you were cognitively six or seven. Very weird for both human and Kryptonian standards. Bird gods be damned.”

Chris hugged himself. “I mean…I mean from what I remember, she was nice.”

B+ desperately wanted to break down the reasons why that didn’t matter, but it wasn’t the right moment, and he felt it would be better coming from someone like Ms. Lane. So he smoothed it over. 

...Well, he tried to. “She could have been, I’m not implying that it was…”He paused. “...Well maybe I am implying that it was somewhat predatory, but I doubt she really considered the implications enough for me to judge her as anything more than shortsighted. Perhaps neither of you were completely acting on your own volition even, because again, bird gods. I’m…not trying to make you feel bad, am I making you feel bad?”

Chris looked away. “...A little.”

B+ winced and looked directly at him with all three eyes. He even devoted half of his processes to the conversation, which was dramatic overkill really, but he felt bad.

 “I apologize. Sometimes I talk through thoughts that I should probably process silently. Um…wait, hold on.” He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again. “Okay, the likelihood that they’ll bother us in the next half hour is low, they’re tending to a minor disaster.” 

Chris’ mask dropped and B+ could see how nervous he was.

“...Why…what are you going to do to me?”

B+ had been reaching towards the containment field, but when Chris asked that fearful question, he pulled his hand back like he’d been burned.

“Nothing! I wouldn’t--I don’t…” His lips wobbled as he tried to not get upset. It was frustrating sometimes, being so young and knowing so many things. On the one hand he wanted to be taken seriously, to be seen as competent…but on the other, he was still chronologically two, developmentally nine, and that meant that it was hard to mitigate his feelings sometimes. Conrad had reassured him that it was normal, but he knew that already. Normal or not, it was still embarrassing. He sighed. “...I was just going to sit next to you. I thought…I thought it might make you feel better after I upset you by being callous. I don’t have to, I can just--”

Chris’ expression softened considerably. “Wait, what? Wouldn’t the Phantom Zone energy be bad for you?”

“No, I can handle it fine.” It was a lie, it was going to be incredibly uncomfortable, but not so much that he couldn’t hide it from Chris, so it was acceptable.

Chris stood up. “Well…I mean yeah, then that would be okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak out, just--”

“You’ve been treated as an experiment and tool before…and in a sense I am…Brainiac. That was…that was the kind of thing he did, so it is not inappropriate to be...vigilant.” B+ was thankful at that moment that he’d decided not to install synthetic tear ducts into his current iteration. “Um. Step back just a little? Please?”

Chris pressed lips together in concern, but took a step back. B+ reached out again and touched the containment field, and his skin shifted color just slightly from its bright turquoise to something closer to matching the shade of the barrier, before he walked through said barrier like it wasn’t there. Chris looked him over cautiously. “...You sure you’re okay?”

B+ nodded. “I am sure.” He stretched a bit to try to look casual about the fact that the way the zone energy interfered with his connection to turquoise light made his synthetic muscles burn. It was fine. He wasn’t a baby. He took a seat on the floor, and Chris sat next to him.

“If you would like to ask me questions, you may, I think that’s fair. You aren’t my experiment, friends share information reciprocally, and I’d…I’d like to be…that.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Metron’s countenance, I am awkward.”

Chris giggled. “No, you’re fine. This is all kinda awkward I think. For most people it’d be worse. You use a bunch of words I don’t know, though.”

“Sorry.”

Chris offered him a warm smile and patted him on the shoulder, and B+ had to stop himself from wincing at the pain. This was a good sign, a positive interaction that suggested Chris had not decided to fear him. The discomfort had purpose.

“So,” Chris went on, “How old are you? Cause I dunno what your deal is, but you seem to have a lot going on.”

B+ snorted. “Yes that…yes. Um. Technically I…emotionally I am about nine or ten, experientially…is complicated, because I have the knowledge of…quite a few civilizations stored in my mind, so I know and understand quite a bit. Chronologically my body is roughly…two years old at this point?” B+ knew that he was exactly eighteen months, three-hundred hours, thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds old--but he thought rounding it up sounded better. 

Chris slowly turned to him and smirked. “So I just got a lecture about how my girlfriend was inappropriate from a toddler?”

B+ rolled all three of his eyes. “I’m not a toddler!”

“Awww look at the little guy!” Chris teased and poked B+ in the side.

…Which was not something B+ expected him to do, and so he wasn’t prepared to stop his automatic reaction. It tickled as intended, but it also hurt because at that point everything hurt, and he made a sound that was something between an embarrassed giggle and a pained groan. You could probably call it a whimper. 

Chris pulled his hand back. “Wh--did I hurt you? I thought I didn’t have my powers, I’m sorry--”

“No!” B+ waved him off and then winced at how much that action hurt. “It’s fine, you did nothing wrong, my chassis is strong enough that I wouldn’t be concerned if you did have your powers, it’s just--”

“You lied to me about the zone being fine?”

B+ sighed. Why couldn’t he have been somewhat dense like the other Lor-Zod?

 “...Yes. I thought it wouldn’t be this bad and wanted you to feel better--ahh!”

B+ yelped in surprise (and pain) as Chris gently picked him up and brought him back to the edge of containment. “Out! Go! Before you hurt yourself any more.”

“But--”

“It’s fine! We can hug later or whatever!”

B+’ cheeks warmed, which was confusing for him because he didn’t really have blood, but he stepped back through the barrier like he was told to. Instantly he felt his connection return, and the pain was replaced by the strength he hadn’t realized he’d lost. He turned back to Chris. “Sorry--”

“Please don’t do that again.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on--”

“I mean hurting yourself so I don’t think you’re bad. Don’t do that.”

B+ was somewhat disturbed that Chris had picked up on that. “I…what?”

Chris looked directly into B+’ two primary eyes. His expression read as genuine concern and compassion. It made B+ nervous. “I don’t think you’re Brainiac, and I don’t think you wanna hurt me, okay? We’re good. I like you. You’re kind of funny in like an alien way. Which, as an alien, works for me.”

B+ rolled his eyes and snorted. “...Alright. I appreciate that.”

“Plus, I’m not gonna be scared of a two-year old.” Chris smiled.

“I’m not--” B+ shook his head. He had to claw some of his dignity back somehow. “I’m going to get you out of that tube before the day is out.”

Chris balked. “...What? But...but Kal-El and Batman and Mr. Terrific said it could take--”

“RIP to them, but I’m built different. Literally. Besides, I understand your biology better than any existing being. If I can’t figure this out in the next six hours, I might as well retire and go live on a farm. Ew.”

“Farms are cool!”

“Farms are outdated, just synthesize the food with an atomic reconstructor, they’re not hard to--you know what, I’m actually going to focus all my processes on you, which means I really like you, because I was watching ‘The Great British Bake Off' for most of this conversation. I love that show. But…I still think the British owe this planet more reparations. Anyway, give me seventeen minutes.”

Chris was about to ask another question, but B+’ face went blank and his eyes all started glowing bright turquoise at once, so it was clear that the conversation was over. Or at least…paused.

[pielove123clan]

Failure, for the OC thing!

Thanks for asking because I got that vampire autism and don't talk much about my ocs. The thing with my ocs though is I purposly leave them open-ended, im never done developing and changing them. I did all my ocs if you don't mind. The thing is, I need to give my ocs more trauma. I'm too nice with them. None of these are fandom related, their just general ocs in my head.

Question: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

Aparna: She is an undead zombie housewife who can turn into a giant rabbit kaiju. I think her greatest failure is going to be going to sleep when moments before her huband was trying to reson out why she should let him kill her. She was opposed but her husband was able to talk Aparna down like, "Ok honey, this idea was kind of silly, Your right, I don't know why I thought this would be a good idea. Let's go to bed." And then when she fell asleep, her husband killed her. No one else knows this and she's been trying to move past it, look on the bright side because the killing was done to make her 'immortal', it was just greatly delayed. I still need to do more research on how The Great Depression effected families.

Milicent: She is a woman made up of a bunch of centipedes but looks like a normal ass woman, just glossy. I need to give her a failure because killing people in a time when you were more controled by animal instincts and not fulling a conscious self doesn't feel like much of a failure to her. She just moves on like nothing every happened but she accepts that yeah, she did eat people. That was how she was before. She's not doing it anymore because she prefers engadging with not dead people, but she wouldn't care to do it. She'll tell her adopted child Fleshy when she's older.

Fleshy: Body horror child escaped experiment who is a living virus. Weird stuff I still need to write down fully. Her biggest failure is her existence because she was a mistake from the lab that made her. I think she's moved on fine so far but she's still young, still learning. Milicent is trying to teach her how to live in this human world while being true to her nature, im still trying to work out their dynamic. Milicent is doing her best but some of the stuff she's teaching is maybe questionable.

Fleshy has minor anger and violence issues actually. For example, if someone were to tease her, if they don't noticibly look bigger or stronger or if she knows she could get away with it, her immediate thought is "punishment" as in, she will punish the other person, just like the people at the lab did to her. That means hitting or trying to absorb them or their limbs, and she's ruthless. She's very shy and cowardly to juxtapose that and Milicent is trying to direct her to not solving situations like that with violence.

Marigold: She's an ecology student with a shovel that can dig holes to other dimensions. Letting her father vanish before she could completly say all she wanted to say to him. Before he had suddenly vanished, they had a verbal argument. What I'm working with now is that for some reason, the father is insisting on moving out just as Marigold got accepted to a local university. The day after while Marigold was gone from the house, the home was ransacked, her mother was beaten, and her father was no where to be seen. Im still working on lore for her. Long story short, she find the shovel and she's trying to find her father, the problem is she doesn't know what shes doing. No one knows about it. She used to be very social until her father went missing and her mother got transported to the hospital.

Zovasa: They are a vampire jumping spider person. I guess being easily bribed for their apperance? Because its a scay spider who seems to be around misfortune or bad events, people misinterpret them as the bad omen. It's in Zovasa's instincts and nature though to see misfortune sprits or demons and then suck their blood or ichor, or whatever magic demon juices are in there. But, if you thow Zovasa a bone or give Zovasa any sort of kindness that isn't hatred, that demon is free to do whatever in Zovasa's eyes. They get let off the hook. Zovasa doesn't see it as a failure, just that they'll go a little hungrier but its ok. Zovasa is alone so I guesss only the ones that bribe them know.

Cranberry: Gremlin bog otter cryptid. This thing has no thoughts in its head other than violence. The world is lucky that the Cranberry does not have highest intellect. We are all better off that way. I think the biggest failure is the creators of Cranberry have yet to find a way to control the Cranberry and weild them as force of destruction. A handful have tried only to die out of bloodloss from their fearsomely treacherous claws and mighty sharpened maws. Only few know of the Cranberry breeding lab under the bog.

Milly: Medical student in medical school studying to be a surgeon. How did she pay for medical school without the support of her parents? She signed a shady loan connected to a shady underground organ trafficing ring! That's her biggest failure so far and she can't move past it yet because she needs to work off that debt. She is pretty introverted so no one knows, im still playing around with the idea of Milicent, Milly, and Fleshy being a sort of found family and if that still sticks, Milicent would know and be there for her. Otherwise, I need to make Milly some friends.

Verdell: Haven't written much for him because hes relativly new but he will be a superhero oc, possibly influnced off tokusatsu stuff. He is Milly's brother and the much more favorited child in the family. It would be an easy cop out answer to say in his eyes, his greatest failure is not being able to help everyone while remaining in the spotlight and get that recogition. He does legitimately want to do good and help people but he's also a people pleaser and badly trying to over-compensate. He wants his good deeds to be seen, high praises sung in his honor, to be liked and widly revered worldwide. I don't think he's that subtile so if people wanted to really pay attention, he prioritizes what will give him more eyes, more fame in his heroic endevors. He feels the need to go higher and higher since birth because those high praises are what his family gave, he feels like he needs to live up to that severely. Experimenting on making him Marigold's housemate after the vanishing of her father.

Bake: My tanuki oc! She doesn't see herself as having any major failure in her life but for the most part all she thinks about is eatting and survival as a wild animal, and whatever would get her interest at any given moment. She's a younger character with no role model figure or adult figure in her life. She's really alone. Given her attitude as an animal, has little empathy for others experiences or feelings about death other than a dead thing should stay dead. I think her biggest failure is that she doesn't have any real goals or ambition, no actual reason to strive for continued exsistance other than for survival sake. She just exist, wandering around. She might be depressed but she doesn't know it, because she naps quite a bit. She also really doesn't have any morals unless its just, "This thing will get me killed so don't do that." or "There's food there, food is important for survival. I will take it." Id like to write her more but I get self conscious.

Malinda: This giant red and black spikey dragon. In her eyes, her biggest failure is not getting out of her cave and murdering the king yet because they keep sending these knights to her cave in order to steal from her horde of items. She has a personal vendetta against this one specific king but she can't be bothered yet to take care of it, she's procrastinating. I think her biggest failure is sort of being a hermit and shutting herself off from things. She's a very neutral dragon, almost passive with how much she doesn't care unless something really rouses her. She's just as likely to join a hero's party as much as she is to join the demon lord, its whoever gets to her first and impresses her the most. It's depending on her company how she'll develop.

Lily: My self-insert oc. The easiest way I can describe her species is wolf tulpa person. She specifically has an identity crisis. I made her to try and get through my own trauma and digest it without attacking myself. Wolves are known for their packs and undying loyalty so betraying or deserting them is treason no matter what. She is activly running away from her problems by going around by herself in an RV. She is not able to move past them and that's a major part of her character. She's trying but activly, when she tries to go with other people, to have fun and move past it, feelings kind of consume her. Even one slip up and she gets all scared and withdrawn. She has SAD or Social Anxiety Disorder when she never had that before. She internalizes her greatest failure a lot, the failure to stay and protect the ones she loves and cares about, then seeing them seemingly get corrupted by a miasma right before her eyes, or that dillusion in her part? I purposly make it vauge. I think about Knight Of Despair when thinking about her sometimes. I need to write her but its like staring at a mirror. I can't do it for too long but I'd like to.

[thedeal-if]

The ROs take it upon themselves to wake up the MC so they don't miss work or an appointment, how do they do so? (also hi! i hope you're doing great!)

Hi!! Aw thank you💕 I'm doing great! Hope you are too~!

(Dante is a fucking mess of a man I'd be shocked to see him waking himself up in time to help MC lol)

You wake up to the smell of burning food and the sound of a door snapping open. He’s not exactly running late, but Dante doesn’t have all the time he would have needed to make the situation as memorable as he’d hoped.

“(Name)~ Svegliati, mia gioia~,” Dante coos. English comes back swiftly when he sees you stir, the language switch always turns his pitch a little deeper “We’re running a teensy late and I don’t want to see you stressed~”

You mumble sleepily, “How late?”

Truly, a good question. Dante still doesn’t know how to use a phone, he doesn’t own a watch either, so he cranes his head to check outside, eyes meeting the clock on the hallway wall.

Oh, you really are running late.

“Em,” words are hard to find under pressure, but Dante’s hesitation probably speaks loud enough, and you sit up hastily, bleary-eyed “We should get going soon, gioia. Or now, if you can.”

Lilith, early riser as they usually are, makes sure that their alarm gives them all the time they need to freshen up, dress, and get their makeup done and on point. Getting you to your appointment means seeing you inside and picking you up if you wish them to. Lilith is responsible enough to handle the job, it also involves you, and you’re much more fun than the alternative.

You wake up to find Lilith by your side, sitting on your bed, graceful like a cat, they smile like one too, tentatively. Their care extends to the tender way their fingers graze your cheeks, the teasing touch makes goosebumps paint your skin. Lilith bites back an affectionate smile, they whisper your name instead—as if afraid to break the peacefulness of the early morning.

“Love, time to start the day,” they say.

Josh will end up confessing days later that, though he has always been sure about the time and date, he checks over seven times whether got it right or not. In all honesty, you wouldn’t have guessed he feels paranoid about being wrong, Josh wakes you up like he has done it a million times before.

“Hey, it’s time, Dot,” he says softly. And Josh is exactly on time as always—he will also confess, with a flush, that he waits for over ten minutes while staring at be clock just to do that—, a mug of coffee he brewed earlier in his hands.

Josh waits—he waits often, doesn’t he?—until you’re conscious enough to take the mug into your own hands.

“You’re going to do great today!” the pep talk Josh gives you might come a tad too early for you to fully register anything he’s saying, but Josh’s burst of energy is motivating enough either way.

Villanelle accepts naturally with a cheerful clap of her hands. She expresses some worry but promises she’ll wake up on time. No matter what. Villanelle delivers on her promise the next morning, and her bright smile greets you like the morning sun.

“Rise and shine~” Villanelle sets down a mug on your bedside table. The flowery scent of its contents fills your senses “It’s green tea. It always helps me wake up.”

It must work wonders if one were to judge Villanelle’s ever-bright presence, even so early in the morning. The witch coaxes you until you’re sitting up, she promises she made the tea so you would like it.

Last night Victor checked over the plan with you, he went over the motions and steps methodically. You felt like you were his partner, the two of you getting ready to hunt down some demon—except the only thing that happened was your request for him to wake you up for work.

Victor knocks on your door until you are well awake, he never crossed the threshold, giving you privacy and insisting through the wood only when he feels that you’re running late.

“You’re ready?” Victor questions once you join him in the kitchen. He eyes you briefly before he checks the time, and nods “I’ll drive you there once you’re done— I prepared a simple breakfast.”

Calling it simple is definitely acting up on his modesty. Victor seems to know, he smiles a little when you eye the feast he made. For you.

Despite Aliyah’s initial—quite strong, very verbal—refusal, the genie happens upon your room at the—what are the chances?—ungodly hour you once asked her to wake you up. Aliyah denies her interest in your well-being as is customary. Then, she proves it by being rougher than rough. She pulls up your curtains, rips the bedsheets off of you, laughs at your puffy, sleepy face when you turn to glare at her.

“You knew what you were getting into when you asked,” Aliyah shrugs, she always looks strangely smug when she’s right, but today seems to be an exception. The genie notices your eyes on her, and her self-satisfied smirk returns “Don’t look so worried, human. Confidence is key.”

You think that this is Aliyah’s roundabout way of telling you she believes you’ll do great.

As soon as you ask Nathan to wake you up it’s like a flip is switched, he takes the task as gracefully as he can, with a seriousness that dies almost as soon as it appears. Nathan is blind to your very human emotions, he automatically assumes you’re nervous about your appointment and tries to get your mind off it as best as he can for the rest of the day.

Nathan wakes you up like the two of you are going to a party, with a misplaced cheer that is strangely endearing given the situation.

“Morning, morning!” he beams—albeit a little forcedly—, yawns a couple times, tugs on your hand until you’re sitting up “It’s so… fucking early! What a joy!”

You remind Eden of your need to wake up early the day prior, she makes a note of it and dutifully shakes you awake the next day. Eden stares at you for a few seconds, puffy-eyed and shaking the haze of the morning, then she chuckles.

“Coffee/Tea/Juice?”

She asks like she remembered to buy/brew it, but you find out she didn’t quickly enough when Eden abandons the house to get it fresh for you. It’s an unspoken offer for you to shower and dress, one which you take, and by the time she’s back, you’re ready to go.

[dasboligrafo]

Illinoise -- May 24, 2025 @ St James Theatre

Oh my god, what to say about this one. Remember my theatre rating system (how many times I cried, over 5?) By the system, this show is...what percentage is infinity out of 5?

Basically, the lights went down, the (absolutely fantastic) band swelled out the first few bars of "Concerning the UFO Sighting," and I started silently weeping and I. Could. Not. Stop. for the remainder of the show. Despite being, generally, a huge crybaby, I could not have predicted that reaction.

I passed on seeing this show at the Armory (I have a string of terrible decisions involving the Armory...I still have not seen Lehman Trilogy after passing on seeing it on opening night, among so many others.) I will say I'm not sure that was, for once, necessarily the wrong decision, just because it's hard for me to imagine seeing this show there, especially from high up in the seats. I suppose it depends on the showz but that space can feel quite alienating. The St James is a pretty small theatre and I doubt there are any really bad seats in the house as a result. I'm sure the show got sanitized, some edges polished unto anodyne for Broadway. It doesn't matter. It was so fucking moving.

Before taking my seat, I grabbed my summer theatre treat of choice (the $50 big white wine, with ice. Pure class) and the lady who sold me the drink, while perfectly friendly, asked me what I knew about the show in that sort of tacky way I get asked about stuff in New York by younger white people who assume they must know more than me than whatever interest of theirs I'm about to engage in. (I guess, interpreting charitably, I look like a tourist to them.) I mumbled something about Justin Peck and NYCB, not even trying to get to -- listen, Lady, Sufjan was the music we listened to in college, so by extension, it is the LAST popular music I am aware exists. Sufjan is very much the soundtrack of my life.

Only I didn't really realize that, apparently, until I saw the show? Although I listen to Seven Swans a few times a year, I didn't realize, prior to "Illinoise," that I know every word to "Illinois."

The thing about "Illinois" is that, like all great generational works of art (there, I said it), you can receive it entirely differently depending on your age at the time you encounter it. So when I heard "Illinois" as young dumbass, I thought it was music about yearning; about the things you want so badly and might never realize and/or might not be able to front the cost. And now as an old(er) dumbass I find the record is about regret, about the things you give up and the mistakes you make ("I made a lot of mistakes...") making those choices or letting them happen to you, and about how the choices haunt you, even as you're making them. And I didn't understand that then, although the *second* word sung on the record is "revenant."

The *magic* of this record is that it is spiritual concept folk-rock opera music, still managing to connect, in an age devoid of spiritualism and shy of conceptual pop music, with an incredibly broad audience. To clarify, I'm talking about the current age; when the record came out, you could still make a concept album. I believe that age ended around 2012, Kendrick Lamar excepted. I don't know when the age of spiritualism ended, I think it was before I was conscious of contemporary art works. If you go to a Sufjan Stevens concert, or to "Illinoise" for that matter, you will be treated to the sight of literal children -- people under 15 years old -- singing all the lyrics. And crying millennials, naturally. My boomer friend told me "Chicago" is his and his (gen z) daughter's song, dating to when he drove her to Chicago for graduate school.

And oh, yes, it is a sublime piece of Americana purporting to exalt the state of Illinois and its millions of inhabitants and events, past and present, and actually examining, at the most personal level, how faith can fail to deliver you, and still impart your life with grace.

The magic of "Illinoise" is that it is a concept ballet masquerading as Broadway, of all things, i.e. an expression of universalism and accessible theatrical cliche where the text is, incredibly, a tale-as-old-as-time style campfire story anthology (hello, Decameron! I've got your story framing device here....) WITH NO DIALOGUE, about leaving your (gay) lover behind to experience the pleasure and promise of the big city and how you will feel regret and gratitude forever for the gift of having him, the gift of moving on, the gift and curse of free choice, the curse of loss.

When I think about "Illinois" only barely disguising its core concern with Christianity ("to recreate us...all things go, all things go" only a couple misunderstood syllables away from "to the Creator..." for example) and outright telling us what it's about in other places ("I made a lot to mistakes," "If I was crying, in the van, with my friend, it was for freedom from myself and from the land," etc)...this beautiful directness and lack of high-minded artifice was always already destined to be on Broadway. I didn't mind that the show is, at times, frankly...quite literal. I experienced "Illinoise" as the rare miracle of a message arriving packaged in its perfect medium. I feel so fortunate to have seen it.

Coda: I thought the dancing was fantastic, easily my favorite Justin Peck choreo this year. Genuinely accessible, technically proficient, appropriate to its text and moving.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Review 11 in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

84 hours in, 82 actual playtime.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though., every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard (and everything else Dragon Age, I'm a Lore fiend).

Part 10.3 here.

Wow. Talk about plot hole city in Cyrian's fate. Oh... no... the dying brother is conscious enough to talk (which means swallow). Rook is standing there with 3 healing potions left over and there's at least three green jars scattered about the room. Eyebrow raise of doom.

It would've been far more poignant, and, y'know, would actually have made a lick of sense if no one had any potions left and there weren't any in the room. Rook has been really close to dead, and those potions brought him back to fighting ability. No, I don't expect writers to know what the sets will look like. But at some point, someone, probably multiple someone's saw that and decided it wasn't worth fixing. I can even think of a single line that would've fixed it. Just. One.

Like... did any thought go into this game? At. All? It really doesn't feel like it.

Goddess, that scene just feels so unintelligent and thoughtless. And not because of the writing. If it had been blocked out properly to support the script, it would've been fine! (We use the term 'blocking it out' in writing and acting, not sure if it's the same for games.) It could have been sooooo good! But. Welp. Bioware apparently has no idea how to hire writers and editors and playtesters for quality control. Y'know, if I even thought they gave a shit about quality, because after playing most of this game? I highly doubt it.

I believe everyone can learn how to write. I don't think you need to have advanced degrees or anything silly like that to do it. But there is quite a bit of science behind writing well. No one is good at it from the start. And no... not everyone can just turn their hands to writing and be good at it. That's just not how the science of writing works. You need to dedicate the time and effort to learning how to write well. Reading a lot helps. Same goes with editing. And I know at least one (more than) of the writers played this before release. They talked about it on their socials. So either they didn't notice that massive fucking plot hole, or they just didn't care enough to fix it.

I don't know how else to put it. If someone had hired me to edit this? I would've sent sooooo much of it back to the writers with fix-it notes. (I even give suggestions on HOW to fix stuff in fix-it notes.)

I'm just gonna call the Solavellan ending now. It's so fucking obvious it's sad. The world will be saved (somehow leaving the veil up? Still not sure how that's gonna work given stuff they've said in this game). And then Inky will either join Solas in his prison because that's twue wuv. OR Solas will sacrifice his mortal form because he never wanted one anyway and Inky will poof turn into a spirit and go with him. And we probably won't get the intimate scene.

And NO that does NOT count as a happy ending! Or even the suggestion of a happy ending! That's them either going to prison or dying! A happy ending would be them living quietly until Inky's natural time, with her gardening and him painting. Or working in secret to help fix some shit, or insert absolutely anything other than what I'm pretty sure will happen. Only when Inky naturally passes would a happy ending be going poof into spirit land. What if she'd wanted a family? What if he had? Uuuuuugh. What if they wanted to enjoy life before becoming spirits? Hang with their friends? Let Solas deliver some overdue apologies? Sigh.

Well. I suppose I'm not just guessing. It wouldn't surprise me if I have more than a little savantism when it comes to writing, editing, and prediction.

And when I'm not recovering from almost dying, editing media is my actual job. One I'm pretty good at.

I dunno. Whenever I look at a piece of media, it's like it forms a 4d puzzle in my head. I can see the problems and where the story is likely to go. I actually read encyclopedias for fun (yes, I'm totally serious).

I also may have been dubbed a walking encyclopedia a time or million. So not only can I see the issues? I can usually figure out several ways to fix them. Very little surprises me in fiction. Making the ones that do incredibly rare and precious to me. It should go without saying that absolutely nothing in this game has surprised me except how bad it is.

But that 4d puzzle thing my brain does with fiction makes it far too easy to guess things. Especially when the writers and devs, at every turn, decided to pick the nost banal, most uninspired choices available.

If that's what happens with the Solavellan ending, I'm never trusting Weekes again. They were Lead writer. They had to have had some control. Not just because we likely won't get the only two things Solavellans have wanted for what is it now... 10 years? But that they claim to love their character, Solas. And this entire gods damned game has been doing absolutely nothing but shitting on him. It's honestly been difficult to play as a person who deeply identifies with Solas's neurodivergent traits and his story. And who romanced him.

I'm solidly in a relationship with Lucanis and he's made me dessert. Don't get me wrong, a guy who can cook AND who makes me dessert? A+! But I don't play rated M games with romanceable characters for dessert scenes. I'm starting to wonder if there's even any kissing in this game. There's probably only a day or two at most left for me before I finish it. (And thank everything holy that this is probably true. This is painful at this point. But I need to see the ending for myself.)

Y'know? With all of the betrayals this game has dished out to a die hard Solavellan DA fan? I think no intimate scenes would be the shit cherry on top of the shit sundae of this game.

My kids have started being able to tell when I'm playing without looking at my screen by what they term the 'thousand yard stare of horror'. Honestly? They've probably nailed my expression. How can this be so awful?

Oh and yes, Isseya was ooooooh so eeeeevil. (Insinuating mental illness as evil? Yeah, that's rank ableism. It's not even remotely okay, and both whoever wrote that sequence and whoever approved it should absolutely be ashamed of themselves. Perhaps if they'd actually found and hired some diversity editors along with some better developmenal and copy editors, like I told Epler he needed, someone would've caught that.) Though I have no idea why I'd hoped for better from Bioware. They have absolutely awful ableism issues and always have. Psst. Bioware. It's 2024, might want to fix that.

If you've read Last Flight, the Isseya sequence is such a disrespectful, awful story arc. Even beyond the shitty ableism against mentally ill people. 3% of violent crime (pretty sure we can call that sequence 'violent crime') is committed by mentally ill people. All you neurotypicals need to own the other 97%. And a much better villain was still likely kicking around the deep roads. It hasn't been that long since the 5th Blight.

A much better story would've been stopping the Architect. Permanently. They basically just took his motivation and plans, tacked them (in a very badly fitting suit) to a character that didn't deserve that dirty treatment.

I'm honestly not sure if I can even find words for how fucking disappointing this game is.

I do have to say that other than a few teensy details, the sequence of Taash's rescue efforts for their mom was well written. Pacing was a little off, and the bad guy at the end not having a separate battle was a little anticlimactic, but it's absolutely one of the best written sequences in the game.

I forgot to say earlier that Isabela is basically the only previously shown character who actually looks sort of like herself.

Oh, and I was pleased with Bellara talking about figuring out what to keep from the past and what's better about the present. I'd have really liked more than a few sentences on what is truly a massive area they could've explored, but at least they did mention it.

Haven't seen a thing about generational trauma and abuse, though.

I honestly don't know how much I have left. I keep thinking I'm almost done, and more quests pop up. I've got the final sequence at the top, then maybe 6 others? Two are treasure hunts I'm not sure if I'm going to bother to finish.

And still. The best part of this game? Is still the sets, scenery, backgrounds, and environments. I can't find a single thing I'd change about any of it.

The rest? Eeeeenh.

[aparticularbandit]

here's a fun question that i haven't thought through yet but could be fun

a giant mecha monokuma slammed through the ceiling right

mass destruction on people who were not suspecting it

of the three people who were there, one of them is still conscious (kyoko, the answer is kyoko, she's the pov character, i needed her conscious), one of them is dead (which was not intended but fits, i think, with the whole), and one is unconscious. definitely with a head wound, but probably no lasting head trauma.

here's the question.

should the character who is currently unconscious with a head wound, by nature of being closest to the epicenter of the landing monokuma, maybe also have some sort of spinal injury. re: paralysis.

like maybe they should be the one that isn't dead and the other person should be paralyzed (which actually would make sense, but there's a different sort of. impact. depending on who dies)....

you know what, spoiler talk under the cut, i actually want to crowd source this and talk this through and have thoughts.

right now hina is dead. done. gone. dead.

this currently leads to a potential conversation between kyoko and junko (or ryoko post-memory recovery - i'm not sure how much is still junko at that point, i'll get there) about whether junko knew hina would die and if she did, then why didn't she tell kyoko because hina was right next to kyoko and kyoko could have saved her.

i like this potential conversation in terms of 1) junko trauma (if i go with what i'm currently planning re: chiaki, the lasting impact of good people die saving people becomes its own theme - chiaki dying saving junko (when they were kids! so i guess more chiaki dying saving ryoko); makoto dying saving junko; junko choosing to die (sort of) because that's the proper ending (and also saves everyone else from her); kyoko doesn't get the option to die saving hina because kyoko would have died instead) and 2) the limits of junko's ability - she could predict that mikan would come save her, she could even predict how mikan came to save her, but she can't predict where all of the debris landed or where everyone was standing when the debris landed (she could guess at that, at least), and so couldn't have predicted who got hit where/how and so couldn't have known that hina would die to tell kyoko in the first place (not that she would have told kyoko anyway).

but.

byakuya could die instead.

he was at the epicenter of the monokuma landing by proxy of being right next to junko. the monokuma could literally have landed on him and crushed him.

...but i think actually being at the epicenter would protect him because they would need to make sure that junko wasn't hurt when they came to get her, so it's likely he shouldn't be hurt too terribly bad either.

and also byakuya dying would lead to a whole thing with toko/jack, which would lead to even more wanting to murder junko, but anything that hurts byakuya could do that, just not on necessarily the same scale. permanent lasting damage would have a similar effect. especially if he's paralyzed from the waist down.

(this would also lead to toko hovering around byakuya even more than before because she would be trying to help him with the wheelchair and etc. which he would hate. but she would absolutely try to play nurse with him. which would feel really gross but would also be very much in line with danganronpa and would also parallel mikan's treatment of ryoko. for all that we love mikan, there are definitely elements of yeah, but going on with her treatment of ryoko. particularly regarding yasuke. what she knows and says and keeps to herself. what she tries to control with regards to ryoko.

the idea of this injury also being worse because toko tried to move him. like - that's something you instinctively do, right, or maybe she would, seeing byakuya passed out and surrounded by sparking wires and potential more falling debris - it's pick him up, get him out - but like. there are very clear moments when that's a bad idea and you let the professionals do it (but they wouldn't know that professionals were on the way at all!) - and the effects of trying to move and help and save someone who's hurt who was better off not being moved because of things you did not know - how interfering can sometimes make things worse is also a good. parallel with mikan and junko in this situation.)

....

which means i've maybe talked myself into hina stays dead and yes, byakuya paralysis, but.

still taking thoughts if people have thoughts? would like thoughts.

[ramblingdrunkenknight]

Mephiston was approaching the Saint Reymanaud Cathedral as he had so many times before, barely paying attention to his surroundings as he was dead set on the Scholasticate Library when he was stopped by Veldreth. It was unusual seeing the scholar outside of the Library; Mephiston had grown used to seeing him there and only there, however before the old man could think any more about the strangeness of the situation, Veldreth demanded blatantly, "Follow me."

Not having much of a choice, as he was there for Veldreth anyway, he followed. Before he had the chance to question where they were going, they arrived at the Aetheryte plaza of Ishgard, when Veldreth started to explain, "You fulfilled your part of the deal, so I will now start fulfilling mine. For this, however, we will need to pay a visit to my tower. Due to the distance to my tower's Aetheryte and your stunted Aether, this will be quite a rough teleport, so prepare yourself."

Not quite sure what would await him, Mephiston said, "I suppose it's too late to turn back now! I will manage; we can go ahead whenever you're ready," to which Veldreth answered with a simple "Hm," as he took the old man's arm and started attuning to the Aetheryte.

What exactly followed right after is unknown to Mephiston, for he did not, in fact, 'manage'. All he remembers is the sight of a blue sky and the feeling of dirt in his face.

Waking up with a splitting headache, Mephiston scanned his surroundings and felt lost. What he saw was unlike anything he'd ever seen before; it was as if he was inside of a giant mushroom with corridors left, right, and even above. The walls were weird and twisted, and the air was strange. As he stood up from the bed he found himself in, it felt like the ground was moving beneath his feet, however before Mephiston had any more time to take it all in, Veldreth approached from one of the many corridors.

"It seems you were not quite prepared after all. You were gone for a day, but aside from the headache you're most likely experiencing currently, there shouldn't be any other side effects," he said mockingly, noticing the obvious confusion in the old man's face and continuing before Mephiston got a chance to talk. "This is Tel Dun, my tower off the northern coast of Ilsabard. All the equipment I require for the removal of the device on your neck is already ready in an adjacent chamber. I'd appreciate it if we could get it over with; I don't quite enjoy visitors."

Still a bit overwhelmed, the old man noted, "I'm guessing any questions as to the nature of this place wouldn't end up with me getting an answer, so aye, I suppose the faster we get it over with, the better," and followed the scholar, who had already gone ahead, through the maze-like corridors, ending up in what looked like a laboratory of some kind.

"Would you like to be conscious during the operation, or do you want me to put you to sleep?" Veldreth asked, to which Mephiston answered, "I've been out for a day already. I suppose another one won't be too bad on my track record," chuckling slightly and laying down on the table in the middle of the chamber. Veldreth just nodded and approached the table, saying, "You know where to find me. I'll await you there once you're ready for the continuation of our deal," and putting Mephiston to sleep with a spell.

Once again waking up, the old man recognized his surroundings immediately. He was in his room in Ishgard, though he had been away for around two days. To him, it felt like it was just a few hours since he was last here, for he was unconscious for most of that time.

Standing up, Mephiston approached a mirror to see if the device was gone, and to his relief, it was. Though he already felt much more energized than he had the past few weeks, actually seeing that it was gone gave him another boost.

Preparing to head out already, he found a note reading "Send my regards to Haustefort" in his pockets, so he decided that he might as well do that, surely he'd be able to find Antares somewhere. Before he would go on that journey though, he really needed to find something to eat, for he was incredibly hungry.

[allthefujoshiunite]

Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments from "Love for Sale"?

Thanks, Nora, because of you I found this manhwa, and it became one of my top fav BL ever.

Oh, have you read, "Dear Gene" by Azuma Kaya? It's also one of my favorite BL ever.... (Sorry if you already know it and don't really love them).

I can't put into words how happy it makes me that you liked Love for Sale... I don't think even Dal Hyeonji would feel this happy about someone liking their work SHFKUS but it's just SOO dear to me! Thank you for giving it a chance.

Obviously, there will be spoilers for Love for Sale below.

As for my top 5 moments.

The moment Namwoo finally realizes that he's the horndog in the relationship lol. From the moment they met, he's fixated on what he can provide for the money he's taking from Sieon, and since he's so rich and can literally buy anything he wants, there must be one thing and one thing only he wants from Namwoo: sex. Namwoo thinks Sieon must be a pervert for spending so much money on him (thus expecting a lot of sex in return) but it's actuallly him that constantly initiates sex. I kept waiting for the moment of realization!

The night Sieon went up to Namwoo's apartment to try his "toys". This is another favorite of mine because of how casual, funny and sexy at the same time. Still giggle whenever I remember Namwoo's middle finger action xD

Namwoo's realization that his sunbae was actually in love with him as well. I honestly didn't see this coming?! Probably because we never get to see his side of the story, and his "advances" could only be read as friendly invites. I should've been suspicious because I knew he picked up the nature of Namwoo and Sieon's relationship when they've first seen each other at the mall.

Namwoo and his sister Eunjung having a Love Declaration Olympics in the middle of a crowd. I mentioned in another answer that I love Eunjung for several reasons, and that scene is both so hilarious and emotional, I couldn't help but add it to the list. I love all of their interactions but this one probably takes the cake.

Sieon's blush. You know which chapter I'm talking about, right? xD I wouldn't believe you if you were to tell me that seeing a character blush after 70+ chapters would make me cry but here we are. This is top grade story-telling. Building everything up until such a "minor" point AND having a cathartic pay off, I can only bow down.

WHEW. Thank you for giving me another chance to gush about Love for Sale, because I feel self-conscious lol. I keep inserting the series whenever I get an ask or start blabbing unprovoked... Anyways. There were a lot more I liked about it, like our redhead with anger management issues looking back on his relationship with Sieon, or Namwoo's heartfelt convo with the female friend in his friend circle, OR Sieon reuniting with his mother. It's so hard to pick. But anyways, I'll stop here before I list anything and everything that transcribed in the series.

As for Dear Gene. I did read the parent manga, The Scene of My Rumspringa and liked it a lot! You can feel the weight and importance of the theme to the author, because only then you get a delicate story packed with emotions. Dear Gene was recommended to me as well, but I want to wait for the official English release because my Japanese is not at a level where I can comfortably read manga. I can get by with dictionaries and apps when the BL has your run of the mill story, I usually guess what's gonna happen from the very first chapter anyway. But BLs with deeper conversations and topics are hard to get through. I'll leave it to the translators and enjoy when I can. I'm looking forward to it!

[ewingstan]

Mary from Twig

First Impression: "Oh, so the first major villain-of-the-week characters is a little girl? I guess that's appropriate given the main cast, but I wouldn't think they'd face off against something that thematically mirrors them like that for a few arcs. Cool idea, a shame that she's probably gonna be killed by the end of this." So yeah, I was not expecting Mary to be a reoccurring character. And once it became clear that she was joining the Lambs, I thought for sure she wouldn't stay for more than a few arcs before finding out how Sy manipulated her against Percy and turning against everyone. That was partially driven by me thinking she'd become a love interest for Sy and then we'd get to milk the drama of that relationship falling apart for a while. Was pleasantly surprised when that didn't happen, especially because it lead 1) to us seeing how Sy tries to contend with his nature as an incredibly manipulative person and trying to limit how much he hurts people close to him, and 2) led to the much more interesting "I'm fond of you but also I'd push you off a cliff if everyone else in the friendgroup didn't love you so much" relationship she has with Sy.

Impression Now: More interested in her for her relationship with other characters than I am in her as an individual personality. I kind of wish more had been done with her self-perception as a puppet/her desire to fulfill a perfect servitor role for whoever she's closest to. Don't get me wrong, it led to some interesting (in a fucked-up way) stuff with Lillian. But I kinda wish we got more from her interludes addressing how self-conscious she was of it, whether she tries to push against it or leans into it, how other people close to her react to it, etc. And I really wish I got more of a sense of how it meshed with her becoming a Noble. Besides the obvious change in power dynamics between her and Lillian, it feels like even accepting the change would have required some pretty intense changes in her self-conception, changes we never get to see. And yeah, it would probably weaken Twig as a whole to have a more extended ending exploring how all the Lambs felt about becoming Nobles. But still.

Favorite Moment: I really love the mock-fight she holds with Sy in front of the soldiers at Hackthorn. The skill of making it look like Sy is holding his own while also constantly signalling to him privately how many times she could have ended him....it feels like a pretty good encapsulation of their whole relationship. More than any other Lamb, I think Sy was thinking of Mary when he was setting up the looney toons-esque "you'll chase me from town to town and I'll stay just out of reach while casually checking in and giving you things to take credit for" plan in Corinth. With her more than anyone else, the idea of "lets play at fighting to the death while wearing the points we could have scored against each other as personal badges of honor" seems like an actually feasible way to spend a lifetime.

Idea for a Story: Like I said, I'd love more exploration of Lady Margaret, especially focusing on how she and Lillian handled it going forwards. Aside from that, I would probably want to see someone actually try to map out how her ill-fated mission with Duncan went.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't know if Twig has enough of a fandom for there to be enough big fandom opinions on Mary for me to disagree with.... her offscreen relationship with Gordon doesn't interest me? Was anyone invested in that?

Favorite Relationship: Her and Lillian. Its the most unhealthy mess I've ever seen. I love it. A super unsure-of-herself doctor and her best friend/patient/kissing buddy who acts incredibly confident and self-assured while having no idea who she is or what she wants. Stellar stuff. Could have been so much more.

Favorite Headcanon: I like the idea of her eventually meeting and hanging out with the rouge Ghost who Dog and Catcher partnered up with in Tynewear. Feel like they'd have a lot to talk about. Actually scratch what I said above, this is the story idea I'd be most interested in.

[votestaynight]

4th day "Partner"/5th day "New life" (Scene 1)

I'm worried about Saber's body, after she was wounded so much.

"More importantly, Saber. …Um, are you all right? The wound you took from Berserker was pretty bad." "…? My body is just as it appears. That wound was certainly one that would have led to my defeat, but it was not fatal. I finished healing it about an hour after Berserker left."

"Huh… then, you're completely healed now…?" "Of course. But I am not back up to my normal condition yet. Berserker's hit was a simple one, so it could be healed easily, but the wound made by Lancer's Noble Phantasm is different. That lance must bear a special curse as the wound from him is not completely healed yet."

"―――――" …Not completely healed, huh? It doesn't look that way, but Saber isn't one to talk about her pain. As long as I am fighting alongside Saber, I should pay attention and worry about her body.

And then. I hear the sound of something heavy falling at the door. "Huh?" I turn around, wondering what it was.

There… is Tohsaka with a big bag at her feet.

"Huh―――?" My mind freezes. Tohsaka, who supposedly went home, is at my dojo, and she's wearing normal clothes for some reason, and why does she have that big bag―――?

"…Huh? What are you here for, Tohsaka?" "I just went to go get my stuff from my house. It's natural, since I'll be living here from now on."

"Wha…!!!!? L-Live… you mean you, living in my house…!!!?"

"That's what cooperation means. …What did you think our talk was about earlier?" "Uh―――――Uh." I'm so surprised I can't speak. Something. I have to say something back, or something terrible is going to happen, but my head will not function.

"Where is my room? If you don't have one prepared, I'll choose one myself." Still, the unexpected invader mercilessly continues the discussion. "Ah――― hold on, that's―――" Isn't this bad, morally?

Look, Tohsaka is the idol at my school. Just having her in my house will cause a panic, so having her live here would be crazy and Fuji-Nee would kill me. Or maybe she's planning to drive me insane to reduce the number of Masters…!?

"Oh, why don't you prepare a room for her as well? Your Servant takes up space unlike my Archer, so you should give her a place to sleep. Well, I wouldn't mind if you guys shared the same bed." Sharing the bed… that means sleeping in the same bed, right?

"Of course I won't! What are you saying while I'm not saying anything!? I wouldn't do such a thing, Saber is a girl…!" "―――You're missing the point, but oh well. That's what Shirou says, Saber. He says he doesn't like to be in the same room with a girl."

"……" Not moving, Saber makes a difficult face.

"That is not good, Shirou. Servants are to protect their Masters. The hours of sleep are the most crucial time for protecting you, so I cannot protect you unless I am in the same room." "I'm in more trouble even if you say that! What are you thinking, are you two really girls!?"

"……" "……" Why? Why are you two looking silently at me like that?

"…Hmm. Servants are Servants, so there's no need to treat them as humans. But I guess it's useless to tell Shirou that."

"――――" My mouth, about to protest, stops. The weird feeling I had when talking with Tohsaka in the living room returns. ―――Actually. I've figured out the cause of this feeling.

"…Hold on, Tohsaka. Since when did you start calling me by my name?" "Oh, am I? I wasn't really conscious of it, so it must have been a while ago." "…It was. I think you've been calling me that for a while."

"I see. I'll be careful if you don't like that, but don't you like it?" Tohsaka says so plainly, without realizing what I'm feeling. …Geez, it's just like you said, Issei. I think Tohsaka Rin is a real devil.

"…Fine. Call me whatever you like. I don't care, whichever you prefer is fine." "Really? Then I'll do that." "Rin, please do not end the conversation. We have not come up with a solution to the matter of the room for Shirou and I."

"Oh, of course, of course. But it'll be hard to stay in the same room with Shirou acting like that. There's no point in treating a Servant like a human, but why don't you give up since Shirou doesn't want it?" "That is incorrect. Shirou only said it would trouble him, and he did not say he did not want it." "Well then. What do you say, Shirou?"

"―――――" Hold on. Why, after only a day, does she keep on calling me Shirou like I'm a cat she found? …No, that's not the problem, but Saber's room is.

"Shirou, I will ask you again. It is a Servant's duty to guard you while you sleep. I believe you understand your position as a Master." Uh… even if you glare at me like that, I can't do it.

"…No. I'll prepare a separate room for Saber. Um, I'll try to prepare one as close to mine as possible, so please be happy with that." "―――――" "S-Scaring me won't work! As a man, I won't surrender to you on this. Saber, you should understand your situation better…!"

"Huh? That is why I am trying to protect my Master as a Servant―――" "No, I mean about yourself…! Geez, if you don't understand, that's fine! If you say any more, I'll make you obey using my Command Spell…!" I breathe out hard and intimidate Saber.

"…It is troubling if you use your Command Spell for such a thing. Our future is doomed if you use one of the three rights to order me not to protect you."

"Yeah. I'm sure Shirou would be the first and the last Master to do that." Don't be stupid. I don't want to use it for this either.

"…I understand, I will follow my Master's plan. But what will you do when you are attacked by an enemy? Servants such as Assassin will close in without letting their presence become known. In such cases, will you be able to protect yourself until I arrive?"

"Well―――" I can't claim I'll manage. I was able to against Lancer, but that luck won't repeat itself.

"That would be impossible. This house has a boundary field that alerts us if an enemy enters. We won't be able to avoid a raid, but we should be able to detect a surprise attack. In that case, you would be able to protect him before he was attacked, so you can just go ahead and stay in a room you like."

"…That is certainly true, but…" "How about next to Shirou's room? You're fine if she's not in your room, right, Emiya-kun?" She pronounces the "Emiya-kun" ostentatiously.

"Tohsaka, that's just sophistry, you know?" "It's a sound argument because I'm making it for your sake. Well, which room should I choose?" Tohsaka walks to the house with her bag, as if telling us the conversation is over. She looks cheerful like a student picking her room on a field trip.

"……" "―――" Perhaps because her actions are so selfish. Saber and I just see her off with blank amazement.

We return to the main building. First of all, I should show her around the house so she can choose her own room.

"This is the Japanese-style room. The back side has common rooms like the living room and the bathroom. And if you follow the open corridor to the outbuilding, you reach the guest rooms… It looks like Tohsaka went that way."

I explain as I walk. Saber follows me silently without nodding. I'm not sure if she's listening or not.

"The map of the house is fine. Where is Shirou's room?" "My room is this way. It's somewhat back there."

"Then please guide me that way. I must talk to you privately." "Talk to me privately……?" So she doesn't want Tohsaka to hear it? Tohsaka is in the outbuilding, so I think this place is okay, but she is a Master after all. Someone could overhear us, so the open corridor is no place to talk secretly.

"Here. This is my room." "Wha―――this is Shirou's room?" "Hm?" Saber is surprised the moment she walks in.

"What? I don't think there's anything here that should be too surprising." "No, there is nothing here to surprise me, as there is nothing here. Is this really your room, Shirou?"

"There's no point lying to you. I only come here to sleep, so it's natural there's nothing here." "…I see. I was surprised. I thought you were a more assorted person."

Saber enters the Japanese-style room and touches the wall to check the feel of it. It is a soft gesture, as if she understands the object's memory just by touching it.

"…I'm relieved. This is a desolate room, but that does not mean it is treated badly. This is a simple but warm place." "Warm? …Well, I guess so. I don't know if it's how the house is built, but this place is cool during the summer and warm during the winter. My father always said I took the good room."

"Yes, the room is the reflection of its owner, so I was worried about your spirit. But this will not change my impression of you now." Saber says this with relief, but I don't understand what she wants to say.

"So? What did you want to talk privately about?" "I have two things. Both are something I would like to keep a secret between us."

"Well, I don't mind if you say so, but tell me what it's about. I can't tell if it's something good or bad."

"They are both bad. At the very least, it is something I do not want other Masters finding out." "Hm." Judging by her expression, the bad thing must be our weakness.

"…… I see. I see what you mean. I'll listen seriously, so go ahead." "Yes. First of all, I would like you to forgive me for not being able to accomplish the first obligation of a Servant." "Hm? The first obligation of a Servant?" "To tell you of my identity. Have you not heard about it from Rin?" "Tell me your identity―――oh, you mean your real name."

Servants are heroic spirits. Their identities are heroes, famous in every age. They hide their identities and the scope of their power with their class names. A Servant's real name is something that should be kept hidden.

But it is also something the Master must know. Because if one does not know which hero the Servant is, he does not know the Servant's potential. Master and Servant are one. They won't be able to fight fully if one keeps a secret from the other.

―――Well, that's just how it would be if I were a normal Master. Even if I knew Saber's real name, I wouldn't be able to come up with an effective plan. Most of all, I don't care about it.

"Hm. I'm fine with that, but why?" "This is what I believe is for the best. No matter how hard you try to hide my name, there are many ways to take the information from you. Since your magic resistance is not high, mental intervention would be simple if the enemy was a superior magus. I would like to prepare for that, and not have my real name within your knowledge."

"Oh, I see. That's right. I would give it right away if they used suggestion on me. All right, keep it a secret in that case."

"It helps me if you say that. …But then, I am not someone that famous. I should be a few ranks below Berserker, and it would not do too much even if my name were revealed…."

Saber murmurs in regret. …That's bit unexpected. Saber has some human characteristics, and she regrets being inferior to Berserker.

"Isn't that alright? A trump is a trump because it's hidden. Your Master is weak like this, so I understand that you have to try everything. …And Berserker, he's unfair. There's nothing to be ashamed of. And―――from my point of view, you aren't inferior. You had that big wound, yet you were exchanging blows straight on."

"You are right. I suffered defeat last night, but the result should be different once my wound heals."

"Right? Okay then, that's the end of the first matter. What's the second one about?"

"Yes, about that… this probably is not something we can solve. We Servants maintain our body using the magical energy transferred from our Masters. That is why Servants require a Master. But―――"

"…I'm an incomplete Master, so I don't have enough magical energy for you to maintain your body?"

"No. It is not a problem if I receive even a small amount of magical energy from you. But I am not receiving any magical energy from you. The spiritual connection we ought to have is not present."

"―――" So that means… I, as the gasoline, am not sending any fuel for Saber to work as an engine?

"Saber, that's…" "It is not your fault. I believe something happened during my summoning. Some fault occurred, and the line that should have connected was not connected."

"―――Some problem during the summoning…" When Saber appeared, it wasn't anything like a summoning. It was just an accident. Since she was summoned like that, it'd be strange if there weren't anything wrong with her.

"…Hold on. Then what's going to happen? Since you can't replenish your magical energy, will you disappear?" "Yes. If I use up the magical energy I have, I will not be able to stay in this world."

"I have battled three times already since my summoning. My healing ability is a regeneration magic, so magical energy consumption will increase if I take damage. …Let me see, I used about ten mature magi's worth of magical energy last night."

"―――" I'm astonished. Magical energy is reduced every time she fights and there's no way to restore it. If she already used up that much magical energy, how much longer can she stay in this world―――?

"Do you understand, Master? So I must try to use my magical energy as little as possible. If no magical energy is provided, I must sleep and suppress my magical energy usage." "Sleep… um, will your magical energy replenish if you sleep?"

"…I do not know. But at the very least, I will not consume any magical energy while I am asleep. So I wish for you to allow me to sleep as much as possible. I will not be able to constantly protect you, but I would like you to understand that this is a measure necessary for us to win."

"Oh―――" I sigh with relief. …Thank God. If that's all it is, I'll accept all she wants.

"Of course that's all right. You can rest when you get tired. If that allows you to stay longer, that's so much better."

"Then I will sleep often from now on, so please do not leave the house while I am doing so. If you are attacked somewhere far from here, I will not be able to come and protect you immediately."

"It would be a different story if I could leap through space, but Servants with such an ability are rare. To call me from a distant place would require backup from the Command Spell, so I would like for you to try to stay near me."

"…Hm." As much as I'd like to do that, I can't nod. I can't imagine living with Saber, and most of all, I have my own life as well.

"…I'll try. But are you sure that's all? If you sleep, you―――" "It should not be a problem. I cannot be certain since this has never happened to me, but I did not fight even seven times last time. Even if I do not defeat them, other Servants defeat other Servants."

"I see. So not everyone has to fight all the other Servants. If all goes well, we can end this war pretty easily."

The only people I am going to fight are those with inhuman attitudes. I'm sure that not all of the seven Masters are like that. Tohsaka is ready to fight, but she would follow the rules of the magi.

So the five remaining Masters―――if they all have humane attitudes, I won't have to fight. Saber said she didn't even fight seven times last time, so this time―――

"Huh?" Hold on. Even fight… seven times… last time?

"Hold on, Saber. Um, was it Saber too last time? No, I mean, were you in the last Holy Grail War as well…!?"

"This is the second time I have participated in the Holy Grail War. I was Saber too at that time. There are heroic spirits that attribute to several classes, but I only correspond to the class of Saber."

"―――――" Tohsaka mentioned… That out of the seven, Saber is the most powerful Servant. And this girl is saying she has become that twice in a row.

"Then… did you remain until the end last time?" "Of course. I had no constraints last time, so I did not fall to any Servants."

Saber says this as if it's just something natural. That makes me realize even more, that I have been given a sword I do not deserve.

"…Geez. Then you must be full of complaints with someone like me as your Master." "I only fulfill the duties given to me. If I can obtain the Holy Grail, I have no complaints about my Master."

"I see. That's a relief, but still―――" She was undefeated last time, but she has already suffered two wounds this time.

In her condition, unable to replenish magical energy, she always has to think about her remaining magical energy. The result of a battle with such a burden was… …That image of her covered in blood.

"―――――" That image is engraved in my mind. The image of a girl smaller than me, covered miserably in blood.

"Shirou, such regret is useless." "Huh―――?" Saber's voice brings me back. When I raise my head, Saber's expression is serious.

"It is not as if I suffered no defeat. I am your Servant now because I did not fully win. I am used to taking wounds, so it is not something you should mourn over."

"Used to…? Even wounds close to fatal?" "Yes. To wield a sword means to take injury as well. That should be the same for you too. There is no reason for just me to avoid harm."

"That's―――true. But are you saying that you don't mind getting hurt?" "If it does not result in death. If I die, I will not be able to protect my Master." "…What is that? So you're saying you don't mind getting hurt to protect your Master?"

"That is the role of the Servant. …Rin's words are certainly correct. There is no need to treat Servants as humans. We are a tool to protect our Master. You must understand that."

Saying so, Saber walks to the sliding screen. Beyond it is the side room. This room was enough for me, so I never used it.

"I will be getting some sleep. I will wake up at dinnertime, so please let me know if you are going outside." She quietly opens and closes the sliding door.

――We are a tool to protect our Master. You must understand that―――

"…What is that?" That pisses me off. But I can't call out to her, so I just consider her words in my mind.

I sit on the porch and look up at the blue sky absent-mindedly. I'm not like Saber who went to bed already during the day, but I need rest too.

Even though my nausea has gone away, I still feel terrible. And on top of that, my shoulders are heavy from all the unexpected developments.

"―――――Phew." I take a deep breath and look over the yard. I've heard what I needed to hear, but the fact that I still don't know anything doesn't change. My Senpai as a magus, and an official Master, Tohsaka is…

"Hey, do you have an extra cushion? And a beaker and a protractor?" …Is intently searching my house for things.

"…You can take the cushion in the next room. But a normal household doesn't have beakers nor protractors." "Huh? I can't believe it. A magus should always keep experimental tools around." Leaving that complaint, she goes back to the outbuilding busily.

"…I guess she's serious." I take another deep breath. I guess it has already been decided that Tohsaka is going to stay at my place. When I went over there earlier, there was a sign that said, "Remodeling in progress: Do not enter" on the door of the best room in there.

"…Yeah. The outbuilding's pretty far away, so there's no problem." Just having Saber around causes some tension, so if Tohsaka was near me too, I wouldn't get any peace.

Anyways, there's some distance between us. Even if we are connected by a hallway, it's just like a house next door, so nothing should happen unless I go there myself.

…Oh, but we'll see each other at meals. And we only have the one bath, so we'll have to decide how to use it. No, thinking about that, Saber is a girl, too, so――― "Idiot, what am I thinking…!?" Shaking my head, I lie down in the corridor.

"―――Phew." I sigh once again and stare up at the sky. Maybe I'm tired, but doing all this makes me sleepy. "Man, just―――" …Do what you like. Becoming desperate, I close my eyes.

…Maybe that comment helped. I fall asleep the moment I close my eyes.

Later, Saber, Tohsaka, and I are in the living room. I just woke up. Saber was in this living room, and Tohsaka just finished her remodeling.

By the way… This was the guest room a few hours ago. And now… "Shirou, how do you use the air conditioner?" The scene I saw when I was called was… …This.

"…Man." How can I put this… I think I may have allied with a terrible person.

"……" I can't calm down. These two are complete outsiders. I rarely have guests at this house, so that must make the situation even stranger.

No, first of all. The appearances of these two don't really fit this Japanese-style house.

"……" Well, it's about seven o'clock now. Even though we're all in the living room, all of us staying quiet like this is not good for my mental well-being.

"If you two don't mind, I'd like to talk about what to do from now on." "Hold on. I want to decide on something before that. All right?"

"Uh―――sure. What is it?" "About dinner. Shirou, you live alone, right?" "…? Well, yeah." "Then you have cooked for yourself, right?" "Of course. I'll get hungry if I don't eat."

"I see. Then I have a proposal. How about we take turns preparing dinner? We'll be living together for a while, so that should be helpful, right?" "…Hmm. You're right. I was thinking of continuing as usual, but if you're going to be living here, you're just like family. It's normal for you to cook, and it'll be easier on me too."

"Then it's decided. So, let's say it's Shirou's turn today. It's late already, so let's have our meeting after dinner." "Huh? Well, I don't mind taking turns for dinner, but what are we going to do about breakfast? Will we be taking turns too?"

"Oh, breakfast's fine. I don't eat breakfast." "―――What's that? Don't be ridiculous. You won't grow if you don't eat breakfast."

"Mind your own business. Don't cut into my lifestyle. …Anyways, you'll be preparing dinner! I won't talk unless you cook something good, okay?" Tohsaka glares at me irritatedly.

"…All right. I'll make something… Saber, you're eating too, right?" "Certainly, if you will prepare some for me. Food is an important source of energy." "All right. Then be good, you two."

I grab the apron and go to the kitchen. Fortunately, there's about three people's worth of ingredients in the refrigerator. I started cooking rice when I woke up, so it should be done in about half an hour.

I glance at Tohsaka and Saber from the kitchen. "…Hm." They look like they'd prefer western meals over Japanese food. It's unlikely that Saber, let alone Tohsaka, will understand the tastes of tofu and natto.

"No, more importantly, Saber might not be able to use chopsticks." I ponder this for a second, but I can't help it. There's only a limited range of dishes I can make with what's in the fridge.

Anyways, there's some tofu. After thinking for a bit, I decide to make some deep-fried tofu. For soup, I'll make miso soup with seaweed and tofu. I have some chicken, so I'll make teriyaki out of it and make that the main dish.

I drain the water off the tofu, season the chicken, and cut the Japanese white radish while I'm at it to make salad. I grate the white radish, cook some green peppers―――

"Are your plans from now on determined, Rin?" "Who knows? I can't say much since I don't have any information, but I think it's most important to find out about the other Masters. There are four more Masters. I want to search for them without them realizing I'm a Master, but it probably won't go perfectly."

…Hm. I told them to be good, so what's with that dangerous conversation? Can't they see that I'm busy making dinner for the three of u―――no, they aren't even looking.

"Tohsaka! Not four, five! The only Masters we know are you and me!" I yell, holding the big pot for the deep-fried tofu.

"What are you talking about? You, me, and Ilyasviel makes three. Did you already forget about Berserker?" "―――Oh."

…Oh yeah, that girl is a Master too. Berserker was so strong that I forgot, but still―――I can't believe a girl that small is a Master who mercilessly tried to kill us.

"I understand. You're you, so I bet you didn't see her as an enemy. It's fine, so concentrate on the cooking. It'll be a problem if I can't judge how good you are."

"Uh?" I don't know how my cooking skill affects her, but what she says is correct. The preparation will be done soon, so I should concentrate on finishing dinner now.

"Ilyasviel… you must mean Berserker's Master. "Rin, you seemed to know her." "…Yeah, I know her name. Einzbern is a magus family lineage that has almost made it to the Holy Grail a few times."

"…So they are well-accustomed to the Holy Grail War?" "I would think so. I don't know about the others yet, but I can't be wrong in saying that Ilyasviel is our biggest obstacle. Usually, Berserker is a class chosen to strengthen a weak hero. It takes sanity away as compensation for strengthening the hero, but to control such an 'insane Servant' requires enormous amounts of magical energy. For example, if you became Berserker―――"

"I would not be able to talk like I am doing now. Removing all roles as a collaborator and specializing in battle is how Berserker is. But that is like subduing a wounded lion. A normal magus will not be able to control it."

"I'll bet. A normal magus cannot control Berserker even when some minor hero becomes it. But Ilyasviel summoned a top-grade hero, made him Berserker, and controlled him completely. …It's irritating, but her ability as a Master is on a completely different level."

"…I feel the same way. Our current problem is that this exact Master is after us." "Yeah. My Archer hasn't healed enough to return to battle. How about you, Saber? Is your injury okay now?"

"…It will not be a problem if I am to fight normally, but I am not healed enough to fight Berserker. The injury from the battle against Berserker is healed, but it seems it will take longer to heal the wound I received from Lancer."

"I see. Then I guess all we can do is wait and see for now." "I have a suggestion about that. I hear Archer has sharp eyes. Would it be wise to have him keep watch around the house?"

"That's what I've been planning to do. I'll have him keep watch on the roof, so we should know right away if anyone strange is approaching this place. This house has a boundary field that warns of intruders, so our defenses are perfect. …Though, if Berserker comes and attacks us, all we can do is run."

The two are continuing on without me. "―――" I'm a bit annoyed. I'm making dinner, so why are they talking without me?

First of all, Tohsaka is too friendly with Saber. …Well, it's true that Tohsaka isn't that friendly with me, so it helps if Saber talks to her, but――――

"―――Hm?" The face reflected in the glass of the kitchen cabinet looks disappointed. …That's weird. Why am I angry?

"―――All right." I prepare the dishes for the three of us and put the prepared dinner on the tray. I move to the living room. "Geez, don't talk about dangerous stuff during dinnertime." I put the tray in front of Tohsaka.

"Huh? What are you angry about, Shirou? Oh, should I have at least helped carrying it out?" "I'm not angry. But weren't you not going to be friendly?" I glare at her.

Tohsaka goes "huh?", and after that… …Makes a frightening smile.

"We were just deciding on the structure for cooperation. Don't worry, I won't steal your Saber." "―――!" I can tell my face is blushing. I can tell what I'm angry about after Tohsaka tells me.

"Y-Y-You―――" "Oh, was I mistaken? Then I'm sorry, Emiya-kun." "Guh, you…… oh, just keep talking!" I retreat to the kitchen to get the rest of the food.

…Uhh, she really got me. Tohsaka is still smiling and Saber is expressionless as always. …Man. I'm really worried about whether we can continue with this member…

In that way, dinner starts. "―――――" I'm silent. With what happened earlier, it annoys me to talk to Tohsaka, and I'm too embarrassed to even look at Saber.

"……" Saber eats dinner silently. Her gestures are elegant, and I can't possibly imagine she was swinging around a sword.

And, well, how should I put this…. "…Hmm. …Hmm, hmm." She nods every time she eats something she hasn't eaten before. Her gestures are strange. It must be her way of expressing that it's good. By the way, she is able to use the chopsticks.

On the other hand, Tohsaka is… "All right, I'll win…!" She clenches her fist after taking a bite.

"Fufu, wait until tomorrow, Emiya Shirou…!" She shakes her clenched fist. "―――――" God. Have I done something bad?

"Um, about what you guys were talking about." "Hm?" The two both raise their heads.

"―――" Hold on. Hold on hold on hold on hold on. Even one of them is enough to tense me up, so they shouldn't both react.

"What are you referring to?" "…About what to do from now on. You guys were talking about it while I was cooking." "About searching for other Masters for now?" "Yeah, that. I was wondering what exactly you were going to do?"

"Well… we can only look for them slowly. Oh, yeah. Can you at least sense other magi's presence? It'll be easy if that's the case."

"No. I went to the same school as you for two years and I still didn't realize you were a magus, Tohsaka." "Just as I thought…. Well, that's fine. The others would be hiding their presence, so it should be impossible to find them from their traces anyways. How about you, Saber? I hear Servants can detect other Servants."

"I can somewhat, but only when they are using their abilities nearby. In my case, I can only detect them within about a two hundred meter radius." "I see. Then we'll have to wait for their actions or find some place where it seems strange. If a Master acts, their traces should remain. So that means we are going to try to find those."

"―――So, are you saying we should search throughout the town?" "No, you shouldn't do that. They'll be searching too, so that'll tell them right away that you're a Master."

"For now, we shouldn't take the initiative until we are prepared. Go through life as you were and don't let them know that you're a Master. Hide the Command Spell so no one will see it. Try not to go to desolate places. Come home before dark. And, what else…"

"Please try to take your Servant with you when you go outside. Can Archer guard you, Rin?" "I guess he can do that much. I'll have him ready in spirit form, so it should be okay. The problem is―――" "My Master."

"Right. Are you listening, Shirou? Take Saber with you when you go anywhere. It's our rule to stay out of people's sight, but some idiot might attack us in the middle of the day. Have Saber with you in case of things like that."

"―――All right. I'll try." I respond without interest. I understand what she's saying, but I'm resistant to being with Saber all the time.

I feel nervous talking to Tohsaka, but Saber makes me even more nervous. …No, it's wrong to say I'm nervous. I'm just bad at talking with Saber.

"What is it?" "―――Nothing. I'll give you more, so give me your bowl." "No, I am fine. It was very good, Shirou."

"―――!" I look away before I realize. …I can't even look at her normally, so how can I stay with her all the time?

"Oh, it's no good, though. Saber can't become a spirit, so she won't be able to follow you to school." "School…? Are you a student, Shirou?"

"That's right… Oh, Saber isn't a student, so she can't enter the school…. She'll just have to stay here while I go to school." "…Can't you not go to school, Shirou?"

"I can't. If you want me to live normally, I have to go to school. And there's no danger at school. There aren't many places with that many people." "But…"

"It's all right, Saber. I'll be at school too, so I'll back him up in case of emergencies." "I'm saying there won't be any emergencies." So I declare.

"…I understand. If Master says so, I will obey." Saber nods, though she looks discontent.

The night wears on. It seems Tohsaka has prepared and taken her bath while I was cleaning up after dinner. Geez, it seems she's really selfish from her first day here.

"…I should seize the initiative from now on…" I know that, but seizing the initiative from her seems really difficult.

"…Man. On the subject of difficulties, there's one more that's giving me trouble…" No, rather, the main problem. Tohsaka will understand if I talk to her, but this person doesn't seem to understand however much I talk to her.

"…Saber, huh? I know she's not a bad person but…" Saber is back in her room. Tohsaka should be resting in her room in the outbuilding.

I'm the only one in the living room. There's still time until bedtime, so I should talk to Saber. …Honestly, I have to get over my inability to talk to her, or I'm worried about our future.

First of all, ignoring her being a Servant and all, she is a girl from a younger age. There are a lot of things I'll find out from talking to her, and most of all…

"…I have to get used to her, or Tohsaka will constantly make fun of me…" Yeah, that's troubling. It's troubling, so I should be able to talk to her more lightheartedly.

I return to my room. Next door, past this one small sheet, is Saber's room.

"…Saber, are you awake?" "I am awake. Is something wrong, Master?" Opening the sliding screen silently, Saber enters.

"―――Uh." I hold onto my heart, pounding from having her actually in front of me. …Calm down. I'm just going to talk to her as a Master.

"Shirou? You do not look so well. Have your wounds opened up?" "Uh―――no, that's not it. I'm fine already. Are you fine?"

"Yes, there is no problem. With my current condition, it should take some time to fully heal, but I am still above my average. I should be able to match anyone other than Berserker."

Saber declares so. It's not confidence or boasting. She is probably just telling the truth.

"―――――" I have no response. Saber's statement should be encouraging to a Master, but I―――I don't want such a slender girl to fight.

"Um… I'll ask you something. Don't you have any other objective other than fighting? You're in this time, so don't you have anything else you want to do?"

"Other objectives…? I do not have any such things. Servants are only summoned to fight. Any other objectives are useless. Your statements are misdirected."

I thought so. I'm pretty much asking one who was summoned to fight, not to fight. It's not that I want to tell her that. Well, how should I put this―――Saber is lacking in humanity. It would be fine if she were only going to fight, but she's in front of me as an actual person.

So I can't allow her to just fight. If Saber is actually here, I have to have her do something she enjoys.

"Hey, Saber. Servants are heroes from the past, right? So―――" I stop myself before I ask her what she was like before.

'―――I cannot tell you my real name.' Saber said that before as a secret between us. So even if I asked her about her past, she wouldn't answer.

"Shirou? It is not good to stop what you have begun to say. I shall answer if it is necessary." "―――No, forget about it. I was just about to say something stupid."

I say that, averting my gaze. …It really was something stupid. I shouldn't have been interested in Saber's true identity, and she refused because she couldn't tell me. If I bring it up again, it will only prove that I'm a no-good Master, repeating a useless question.

"……" But what else is there to talk about besides that? If I can't ask about Saber, the only thing that remains is about me. …That would be even more meaningless though.

"―――Hm." Now, I'm just gonna do what I want. If I can't ask about her true identity, I'll get ready to have her look at me strangely, and I'll ask about things such as what she likes and what she wants for breakfast and―――

"Shirou. If you do not have any questions, may I ask you?" "Huh―――you can, but what?"

"About yesterday. You were cut by Berserker while trying to save me. You remember that, is that correct?"

"I remember… what? You want to continue this morning's conversation? I know it was a thoughtless action, so don't remind me about it. It makes me feel sick."

"I feel the same way. But I feel that I must ask you to understand. Why did you stand up to Berserker? Did you not understand what might happen to you if you approached us?"

"That's―――" I knew that. I understood that I'd be killed if I approached. But I didn't try to save Saber out of optimism that I'd be safe while doing so.

…Back then, all I thought about was saving Saber. I didn't care about what would happen afterwards. At that time, the most important thing for me was saving Saber.

…Probably, it was just that my fear of not being able to save Saber was greater than my fear of getting killed.

"…Sorry, I've forgotten. It happened in an instant, so I don't know what I was thinking. I was probably confused. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to do something so suicidal."

Perhaps because Saber's eyes were so serious. I don't tell her the truth. I just say something to get out of this situation.

"…So in other words, you automatically tried to save me?" "――It wasn't automatic. I told you, I was confused. If something like that happens again, I'll probably be trembling."

"I see. That is normal for a human. No human would try to save another while ignoring their own life. Even heroes should be no exception to that."

"So―――if someone like that exists, they would be lacking something. If he continued with that missing thing, only tragedy would await." "―――――" Her deep green eyes are trying to tell me something.

…I take that and… "―――You're persistent, Saber. I told you I was just confused. I'm scared of death too. I can't be a saint. …If something like that happens again, I'll save myself before you." …I deflect it with heartless words.

"That is good. It should be no problem if it was just a misinterpretation on my part. Yes, you certainly are a coward. If you do not make any mistakes, you will become a proper magus." "Hey. What's with that? Do I look like a coward?"

"Yes, very much so. Mostly the part where you try your best to accept the situation you are in. Such wisdom is sometimes called as cowardice. It is the same as saying that a man without fear cannot be wise."

She must be relieved. Saber says this, smiling a bit.

"―――――" That gesture is so lovely and elegant. Because of it, I cannot think of anything else to say, and we end up staying in the room together a while.

…And night falls. It's not like I need to talk to Saber or Tohsaka, so bedtime comes as usual.

It's eleven o'clock. The lights in the house are turned off, and the people in it sleep to prepare for tomorrow.

…… ………… ……………… "―――――I can't sleep."

I open my eyes, still on my side. It's the room I've grown accustomed to sleeping in, but it's different today.

"…Geez. Why can I―――" It's so quiet, so why can I hear Saber's breathing in the next room? No, I know. If it's so quiet, it's only natural for me to be able to hear what's going on in the next room, and being able to hear her sleeping makes me imagine her sleeping.

"…Ugh, dammit…! I can't sleep like this…!" I'm tired of this hell. I climb out of the futon trying not to wake Saber, and I retreat to my usual place.

"…Thank God. I thought Saber would notice, but she must be pretty dull." Or maybe she just sleeps deeply. I wonder for a moment whether she can really protect her Master like that, but there's no danger now. If Servants are connected to their Masters, she should wake up when her Master is in danger.

"Tohsaka… seems to be asleep." The lights there are off. She must be defiant, or just adaptable. Tohsaka must have gotten used to this place in just a day.

"…Well, it really does help having her around and all." Yeah, it helps, even if it's troubling sometimes. For example, the bandage wrapped around my hand.

"Hide the Command Spell, huh? I didn't realize until she told me." The Command Spell a Master bears appears somewhere on their arm. In my case, it is on the back of my left hand. I can't hide it with my clothes, so I'm hiding it with a bandage, even though it looks unnatural.

"…It's winter, so I'll wear something long over it." Tohsaka has hers around the middle of her right hand, or somewhere like that. They say the Command Spell is different for each Master, but I don't think I'll ever see Tohsaka's Command Spell.

The shed is silent. This is the place where Lancer cornered me yesterday. And where Saber appeared. The door is still open and the inside is dark as if denying anyone's entry.

But this darkness is familiar to me. The old building that I used to play in, the place you could call my real room, stands silently in the cold winter night.

…I enter. I close the door to shut out the outside air, and turn on the old stove.

"Yeah, I considered skipping it just for today, but I shouldn't. Father would get mad at me if I skipped it two days in a row." I sit in the middle of the shed and take a deep breath. …Training should be continued without rest. Magic is mental training for me, so I shouldn't neglect it for minor reasons.

"Phew―――huh." …I adjust my breathing and begin my training. Inside my head is the usual image. The image of the sword that appears in my empty head.

"―――――" I ignore it and clear my mind. Once I let magical energy flow through me, it's the usual practice of "strengthening".

The strengthening magic, which I succeeded at for the first time in a few years after being attacked by Lancer. I have to repeat it before I forget it, and make sure I master it, or it'll be a waste. "―――Trace, on." I half-close my eyes and release the contents of my lungs.

―――Right now, this is all. Everything goes away once I'm concentrating on this. The Holy Grail War, Saber, Tohsaka… If I empty my mind and forget all the doubts I have, I should be able to sleep tonight―――

I feel the white sunlight upon me. There must be a draft. I feel a cold wind and slowly wake up.

"Huh… it's the shed―――" I pick my body up and shake my sleepy head. "I see, I fell asleep here yesterday." After yesterday's routine―――after the training to create another sensation within me, I must have been too lazy to return to my room.

"It must still be before six. …Damn, I should prepare breakfast." I fold up the blanket, straighten up the things I failed to "strengthen" yesterday, and head back to the house to wash my face.

"―――It's cold." When I leave the shed, it's really cold outside. Fuyuki City is warm during the winter, but the top of the mountain on this side has the chill of a normal winter.

"Oh, there's some frost… I should do something about the lawn soon." The sound of breaking ice. There is frost on the ground and footprints are formed as I walk.

So. I wash my face with freezing water and pull myself together.

"――――All right." I'm wide awake now. Now that I'm awake, all the things I don't want to think about, like the situation I'm in, come straight to mind.

"…Oh yeah. I shouldn't be washing my face so calmly……" It's five to six. There are a ton of things I have to do, but I should return to my room and check on Saber first.

"…Yeah. I guess I left the room without saying anything, so I should explain things to her." I'll be troubled if Saber misunderstands things. …It's my daily routine to go out to the shed at night, so she should understand if I explain.

"After explaining things to Saber, I should make breakfast. …It seems Tohsaka won't be eating, so I should just add Saber's share." Oh. In that case, I should go and buy more ingredients for the additional people. I should note that before I forget.

"…Hm? I'm sure I'm forgetting something…" What could it be? It feels like I'm forgetting something really important―――

"Gah, it's six. I have to hurry or I won't make it." Well, if I can't remember, it can't be anything important.

"―――――" I quietly open the door. The room is just like it was yesterday. There's no sign of Saber waking up in the middle of the night and searching this room. I guess she didn't realize that I escaped the room last night.

"…That's kind of a letdown. I thought Saber might notice." Or did she need sleep so much that she couldn't notice?

"…I see. That must be what she means when she said she needs to sleep frequently." That must be why she's sleeping as close to me as she can, so she can come to me in case something does happen.

"……" Either way, it won't make much difference where I go if it's within the house. I can detect intruders from the boundary field. I should be able to protect myself for about a minute with that, and Saber should be able to come save me in a minute wherever I may be in this house.

"…That's right. And if it's the shed, there'll be plenty of places to hide." Anyways, I shouldn't be scolded at for what I did last night. I was considering explaining this to Saber, but it seems there's no need for that. And I don't think I should wake her up either if she's asleep.

"Saber, I'm going to prepare breakfast. I'll prepare some for you, but you don't have to get up if you're tired. I'll come get you later, so rest until then." I call out to her and quietly leave the room.

There's no one in the living room. I open the refrigerator and consider what I should make for breakfast.

And then. "―――Mornin'. You're up pretty early." Tohsaka comes in, looking like she's in a really bad mood.

"T-Tohsaka…? What, did something happen…!?" "Nothing. I'm always like this in the mornings, so don't worry." Tohsaka crosses the living room like a ghost.

"Hey, are you all right? You don't look all right." "I'm telling you, don't worry, I'll wake up when I wash my face. …Uh, how do I get to the bathroom from here?"

"You can take that hallway. There's a bathroom in the hallway by the entrance if you're going to wash your face." "Oh yeah, there was one there, wasn't there?" I'm not sure how much she heard, but Tohsaka waves her hand and leaves.

And then. Just as Tohsaka disappears into the hallway, I hear a bell informing me of a visitor.

"Shirou―――? Someone's here―――?" I hear Tohsaka's voice from the hallway. "Oh, don't worry about it! Only my friends come at this time!" It'll be Sakura arriving at this time. Sakura has a spare key, so I shouldn't need to go to the door.

"…Geez. She never listens, even though I keep telling her she doesn't need to ring the bell." Sakura is like a member of the family, so she can come in when she wants. But she's polite, and she only comes in after saying "excuse me". That must be one of Sakura's good points, but if she's considerate all the time, she'll―――

"――――" Hold on. Sakura… is… at my house…?

"…!!!" I run through the hallway. Scolding myself for my stupidity comes later. I have to get to the entrance and make her go home before she sees Tohsaka―――!

"Haa… haa…!" I reach the entrance, out of breath. But it's too late. There…

"―――――" …Is Tohsaka, greeting the guest, even though I didn't ask her to, "――――Huh?" and Sakura, just standing there, surprised.

Sakura is at the door, and Tohsaka is in the hallway. With an indescribable tension, the two look at each other.

"Good morning, Matou-san. Are you surprised to see me here?" Tohsaka asks, as if looking down on Sakura from the hallway.

"―――Tohsaka… Senpai." Her face asks why. Sakura looks up at Tohsaka with fear in her eyes.

"―――" Damn it. I can't call out to them. They are ignoring me and staring at each other. There's no room for me to say anything.

All I can do is to think how to explain things to Sakura, but before I can think up a good explanation…. "Senpai… what is this…?" Sakura looks at me as if asking for help.

"Yeah. Well, it's a long story――" "It's not long. I'm just staying over here." Clearly. She cuts off my sentence and just states the point.

"…Senpai, is that true?" "The short answer is yes. There are circumstances, so I have her staying here now. …Sorry, I forgot to tell you and surprised you."

"P-Please don't apologize, Senpai. …Um, I was certainly surprised, but that's fine. But what you said, you really―――" "Yes, this is what Shirou and I have decided. The head of the household, Shirou, decided, so that's how it is. You understand what this means, right, Matou-san?"

"…Understand what?" "It seems you have been taking care of Shirou up to now, but this means he doesn't need that anymore. It'll be a bother if you come here, and it's for your sake not to come here."

"―――――" Sakura looks down and falls silent. After a brief moment of silence… Suddenly, "…I don't understand." Sakura states so in a clear, small voice.

"Uh―――huh?" "…I said, I have no idea what Tohsaka-Senpai is talking about."

"H-Hey Sakura―――" "Excuse me. Senpai, I'll be using the kitchen. Sakura enters the house with a bow and goes into the living room, ignoring Tohsaka.

"Wha――――" Tohsaka is standing there, astonished. The same goes for me too. This is the first time I've seen Sakura act like that, so I don't know what to say. …No, that is surprising, but something else was unexpected too.

"Hey, Tohsaka. How did you know Sakura was coming over to my house? I don't remember telling you about it."

"Huh―――? Oh, I heard about it before somewhere. It's just a coincidence. But I'm surprised. Is she always so energetic here? She's totally different from when she's at school."

It must have been really unexpected, as Tohsaka says this with disappointment. That must mean Tohsaka knows Sakura pretty well.

Sakura seems to have known Tohsaka, so they must have had a friendship I didn't know about. …Well, that aside.

"No, I'm surprised as well. That's the first time I've seen Sakura be so snappy. She's just the way she is at school when she comes to help around here. I'd say this is a special case." "―――Hmmm, I see… this is bad, I never knew Sakura was so perverse. I should have let you explain things."

She's right. I would have been able to explain things better than the merciless Tohsaka.

"What's done is done. But what's bad about it?"

"Of course it's bad. This place might turn into a battlefield. I warned Sakura so we can keep unrelated people away from here, but it seems it'll be harder to get her out now." "You were warning her? I thought you were tormenting her."

"Hey! Did you say something!?" "Just an honest opinion. Anyways, about Sakura. What should we do? I don't think she'll go home now. …I'll make it clear now. I won't allow Sakura to get involved."

"We'll just have to do something. So, does Sakura only come in the mornings? Or are you using her during the evenings too?" "Don't word it to be misinterpreted. She always comes in the mornings, but not so much for dinner."

"I see. Then it would be every day from now on." "Huh? Every day? What is?" Tohsaka sighs at my response.

After that. Tohsaka remains in the living room and Sakura begins to prepare breakfast in the kitchen. I feel uneasy about leaving Sakura and Tohsaka together in the living room, but I'm not stupid enough to forget about Saber.

It seems Sakura is angry about Tohsaka being here, so things will only get worse if Saber comes out now. Because of that, I decide to explain the situation to Saber.

"…So, that's the situation. Sakura―――oh, the person here right now is called Sakura. She's not a magus and she's just a normal girl, so we can't have her involved in the Holy Grail War. If I can help it, I want her to stay away from this place without learning anything―――" No, I didn't come here to consult her on how to get Sakura away from here!

"Well, Sakura is acting strangely this morning. Tohsaka is the reason, but I don't want to shock her even more. Well, Sakura is already surprised that a stranger's here. I think it will get worse if you come out, so… wait, I'm not insulting you, am I, Saber…?"

"No, I understand what you are saying. So I should remain here, yes?" "―――! Yes, that would really help! I'll come back as soon as I see Sakura out, so let's have breakfast then." Saber nods silently. Wow, thank God Saber is so understanding.

All right. I'm worried about the living room too, so I should hurry back there. "―――Shirou." "What is it, Saber?"

"You do not need to explain such things to me, but you should calm down a bit. Your actions are a bit strange." "Huh―――am I panicking?"

"Yes. If you are to return to the living room, you should calm down beforehand." Saber advises me in her usual tone.

So. The everyday breakfast begins as if nothing has happened.

"Here you go, Senpai. How about you, Tohsaka-Senpai?" Sakura is handing out the rice bowls, just like her usual self. I don't know what happened while I was gone, but the tension between the two has disappeared. Well, at least on the surface.

"…Okay. I'll have some." After pondering for a moment, she takes the bowl from Sakura. Sakura smiles and starts to set up the miso soup and other things like the fried eggs. Tohsaka watches her with a complex expression.

"Tohsaka. I thought you weren't one to eat breakfast?" "I'll eat whatever's prepared. That's only polite, you know." I don't know what's bothering her, but she glares at me and picks up her chopsticks.

"…Well, I guess it's good for you. Itadakimasu. And sorry to make you prepare breakfast, Sakura." "No, this is my job, so please don't worry about it. Then I'll have some too."

"What a wonderful position you are in. What kind of king are you, making your junior prepare your breakfast? Well, I'll ask about that later and just eat breakfast for now."

―― ―――― ―――――― ――――――――Gah. No conversation.

"―――――" It's not that terrible a mood, and anyway, it's always like this during breakfast. Sakura and I aren't talkative, so it's natural for our meals to be quiet. So, why is it that our breakfasts are always loud?

"…?" Hold on. Something's clicking in my head……

"Senpai? Um, was the fish seasoned too strongly…?" "No, it's fine. But I feel like I'm forgetting something."

What is it? I try to conclude that if I can't remember it, it can't be important. But I feel like that would be a terrible mistake. I feel uneasy, as if I'm ignoring a disease that could kill me if left untreated.

"―――Oh well. It probably isn't important." I forcefully make myself understand. ―――And then… "Morning. Man, I slept in." Fuji-Nee enters with loud footsteps.

"―――――" I see. It's not that I couldn't remember. I just wanted to postpone the problem by forgetting about it.

"Shirou, food." Fuji-Nee sits Japanese-style in her usual seat. The two's greetings are in strange unison.

"Here you go, Sensei. It's not much, but please have some." Sakura gives her a bowl with her usual smile.

"Mm?" She receives the bowl from Sakura and tilts her head. She knows something is wrong, but she can't tell what it is. Fuji-Nee quietly starts to eat. And after finishing one bowl of rice, she quietly whispers in my ear.

"…Hey, Shirou. Why is Tohsaka-san here?" "That's because she's staying here now." I explain things to her truthfully.

"Oh, I see. Tohsaka-san sure does some strange things." "Yeah, she's a weirdo. She keeps a mask on at school."

"I see, so she's staying here, huh?" She understands and takes a sip of her miso soup.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'STAYING HERE', SHIROU!!!!?"

The table is thrown up. Fortunately, Sakura is on the other side and Tohsaka has already moved out of the way, so it seems I'm the only victim.

"Ahhhhh! W-W-W-W-What are you doing, Fuji-Nee!? This is miso soup, cooked rice, and food cooked in pot! It'll be hot if you spill that on me―――hey, why are we having food in a pot for breakfast anyway…!?"

"Shut up! What are you thinking, Shirou!? What kind of love-comedy are you in, letting a girl stay over? No, it's not even funny!"

"I'm not trying to make anyone laugh…! No, more importantly, this is hot! I'll get burned! Sakura, get me a towel!" "Here you go. I've prepared a cold towel, Senpai." "Thanks…! Whoa, a piece of chicken fell in my shirt, and a hot one too―――!?"

"The towel comes later. Listen up, Shirou. Are you saying this seriously!?" "Of course. You know I'm not one to joke like this. Anyways, I'm letting Tohsaka stay here. I'll listen to complaints, but I won't change my mind."

"I object! I don't know what you're up to, but I can't allow it! Onee-chan won't allow you to live with a girl your age!" Fuji-Nee roars.

…Well, I guessed it. Fuji-Nee is my guardian and a school teacher. I don't think I can escape such a situation with merely a hundred beatings from the shinai, or even from a real sword. But I guess you could say it's ill fortune that I have to push through with this.

"You have to. I don't have any bad intentions, and we're not like that. I could just say we got into an accident, and I ended up letting her use a room here as a result."

"SHUT UP! I CAN'T ALLOW IT!!!! I won't allow her to stay here! I don't know Tohsaka-san's circumstances, but make her go home at once!" Damn, she won't even listen. Crap, I guess she isn't someone I can convince…!

"Sensei. You say you would not allow me to stay here, but I have already spent a night here." And then. Tohsaka says those words, like pouring cold water on Fuji-Nee.

"―――Huh?" "I said, I was allowed to stay here yesterday. No, I stayed here from Saturday evening, so I have stayed here for two nights, to be accurate. I have borrowed the room in the outbuilding, and my luggage is already there. How about it, Sensei? Looking at things objectively, it seems that I am already staying here."

"―――――" Fuji-Nee's face goes pale.

"S-S-Shirou, what have you done…!? Do you know what would happen if Kiritsugu-san found out about this!?" "I bet he'd be happy. He'd say something about a man's resourcefulness or whatnot."

"Ugh… I feel the same way. Kiritsugu-san was really indulgent with girls… I see, so you inherited that, you idiot!" Fuji-Nee grabs my collar and shakes me around. …Well, the inheritance aside, it was Father's belief that girls should be protected. I don't go around telling people that like Father did, but I do believe he was right.

But… "What? Do you need help?" I think a man would have to be tough to recognize that cold-hearted person as a girl.

"…Please. I can't do anything about the situation. I have high expectations of your political skills." I say, while being shaken. "Okay. Then I'll settle this immediately." Tohsaka, who was only watching from a distance, comes to stand directly beside Fuji-Nee.

"Fujimura-Sensei. Only screams will come out of Emiya-kun even if you shake him, so please stop. Well, breakfast might come out too." "Hmph… what, that serious face doesn't scare me, Tohsaka-san. As a teacher and as Shirou's guardian, I can't allow you to stay."

Fuji-Nee lets go of me and confronts Tohsaka. It must be her natural instincts. She must have thought Tohsaka would get her if she kept concentrating on me.

"Why is that? There are many students that are boarding at our school. Is it not our school policy to encourage the students' independence?"

"What, even if you use difficult words, you still can't stay. You can't get independence from staying in a place like this. This place is a dream house. It prepares meals for you, prepares baths for you, and is always clean without you doing anything. You'll be corrupted if you stay in a place like this." "…Fuji-Nee." That statement is problematic, coming from a teacher.

"And as a rule, only students living far away can board at someone's house. Tohsaka-san's house is farther from school than here, but it's not like you can't go to school from there, right? Even Sakura-chan commutes from that area, so there's no need to stay here."

"But my house is undergoing complete remodeling right now. It is an old building, so it's getting a bit unsteady. I was thinking of staying at a hotel until the remodeling is done, but when I explained the situation to Emiya-kun as he happened to pass by, he said I could use his house rather than waste money."

"Hm… that does sound like something Shirou would say." "Yes. I was surprised by the idea coming from Emiya-kun, with whom I am not too well acquainted. But staying at a hotel is indeed costly, and most of all, unstudent-like. So I thought it would be more beneficial for me to stay at Emiya-kun's house instead."

"Hm… Hmmmm." Fuji-Nee groans. Since Tohsaka's answer and attitude are so student-like, it seems that as a teacher supposedly, Fuji-Nee cannot object.

"I understand your situation. But isn't there a problem? You are a girl and Shirou is a boy, so I don't know what could happen if the two of you stay under one roof." "What do you mean by that, Sensei?"

"Uh… um, well, Tohsaka-san is pretty, and Shirou is a guy, so I thought I wouldn't like it if a mistake got made…" "There won't be any. My room is on the edge of the outbuilding, and Emiya-kun's room is the room by the shed. It's more than thirty meters away. I believe there won't be any problems with this much distance between us."

"Y-Yeah, the outbuilding can be locked, so it's like a separate house, but…"

"Right? Or are you saying you don't trust Emiya-kun? You said earlier that you are Shirou's teacher. Then, I believe you know his personality better than I do. If he was the type to make that sort of mistake, I would not stay here."

"How dare you, Shirou is a gentleman! He wouldn't make a girl cry!" "Then it should be fine. I trust Emiya-kun too. I knew I could stay here safely." "Hmmmmmm."

The intensity in Fuji-Nee disappears. …I guess it's decided now. There are lots of things to follow up, but I bet Tohsaka can get through those. So I guess Tohsaka officially has citizenship in my house now….

―――And so breakfast ends. As expected, Fuji-Nee gave in after being talked down by Tohsaka. In conclusion, we decided to try to keep it a secret at school, and to have Fuji-Nee look after us at home. With that decided and with more people around the house, Fuji-Nee happily goes to school.

We finish breakfast, and I go to talk to Saber before I leave. Saber, as expected, calmly says, "Please obey Rin at school. Please consider me necessary when you are in danger. That will allow me to feel Master's danger." And she goes back to her room.

And it's time to go to school.

"Let's go, then. I'm not used to this area, so show me the shortest way to school." Beside me is Tohsaka Rin in her school uniform.

…The feeling is fading, but having Tohsaka in her uniform makes me tense. I can't stay calm going to school with the prettiest girl in school, and on top of that…

"Senpai. I finished locking up the house." Sakura is with us today. As a member of the archery club, Sakura usually goes to school with Fuji-Nee. But she stayed in the living room today, and was waiting for me to clean up after breakfast and go to school.

"What? You gave Sakura a spare key?" "Yeah. She won't do anything bad, and she's been helping me for a long time too… yeah, when I put it like that, I can't really give you a key. You won't mind, right?"

"…I don't mind, but what is that supposed to mean?" "Because you would do something bad. And I bet you won't have any problems without the key. I'm not crazy enough to do anything unnecessary."

"―――Oh, I see. Yes, as you say, I have no need of such a thing!" Tohsaka looks away.

Maybe I'm just getting used to it, but I'm starting to think this gesture of Tohsaka's is interesting too.

"……" "Hm? What, Sakura? If you're done locking up the house, let's go. Tohsaka is with us today, so I want to leave early." "Yes, you're right. If you say so, I will."

Sakura says so in a dispirited voice and follows after us. …Geez. Sakura has looked somewhat cheerless ever since Fuji-Nee lost to Tohsaka this morning. Fuji-Nee assented, but Sakura must not have.

"…I guess I'll have to talk to her about it…" That's right. I'll need to find an opportunity as quickly as I can, and make Tohsaka and Sakura be friends―――

The hill road is full of students. It's past seven thirty in the morning. This is the time most students go to school. So… It's natural for me to be met with odd stares if I'm walking with people who stand out so much.

"……" Did she forget something? Tohsaka has been quiet like this for a while now.

"What's wrong, Tohsaka? You've been acting weird since around the road on the hill." "Huh…? I thought so, am I weird?"

"No, you're not weird, but that reaction is weird." "Senpai, that explanation is contradictory. I don't think Tohsaka-Senpai is asking about that…" It seems Sakura knows what Tohsaka wants to ask about.

"Hm? What does Tohsaka want to ask about?" "Everyone is staring at Tohsaka-Senpai, so she thinks there might be something wrong with her. Isn't that right?"

"T-That's right, but am I acting weird to your eyes as well? That's strange. I was tired, but I did my hair and there shouldn't be any wrinkles on my uniform. …I slept in a new place, so do I have dark circles around my eyes!?"

"What are you yelling at me for? It's not my fault if you can't sleep in an unfamiliar place, and even if you do get dark circles, they're nothing much. Don't worry about it."

"How dare you! Girls care about their looks from the moment they're born. Geez, I've always tried hard to look perfect at least on the outside, but I guess that came to an end today…!"

"So, what are you yelling at me for? I don't know why you're weird, but it's definitely not my fault. Take it out on something else."

"You're mistaken, Tohsaka-Senpai. You're beautiful today as always. Everybody is staring at you because you're with us today. You have never come to school with anyone else before."

"Huh…? So I'm getting this treatment because of something so small? …I should be more careful. I thought I had this school thing mastered since I've been here for ten years now, but there are still some mysteries to it."

Tohsaka ponders seriously. What kind of a person are you just to ignore praise like "you're beautiful as always"?

"…I don't get you. Of course there'll be a commotion if you go to school with someone. All the more so if it's a male student." "Right. But Tohsaka-Senpai isn't one to care about such matters. That's why there have never been any rumors about men."

"I see… that's good. That means that there's only one victim who got deceived by her looks and got devastated." I talk secretly with Sakura while following Tohsaka, who has a puzzled expression.

We go through the gate, still with people staring at us. We will be going our separate ways once we enter the building, so I only need to endure the stares for a bit longer.

"…Heh. A troublesome guy even shows up in the morning." Tohsaka murmurs. Before her is a familiar face, coming through the students.

"Sakura!" "Uh… Nii-san." Sakura trembles a little. Shinji must not see us, as he goes straight to Sakura.

"Why didn't you come to the dojo!? What are you doing, skipping it without my consent!?" Shinji raises his hand. I… "Yo, Shinji. Working hard in the mornings, huh?" …Catch his hand and greet him.

"E-Emiya…!?" You―――I see, you went to Emiya's house again, Sakura!?" "…Yes. I went to help Senpai. But, that's…"

"Your responsibility as a junior? You're so unrefined. You shouldn't care about a guy who hurt himself. Don't worry and just do as I say."

Shinji lowers his hand. …I have no reason to hold his hand if he's not going to hit Sakura, so I let it go.

"But what about you, Emiya? Is it so much fun to trouble us? Sakura is a member of the archery club, so could you stop forcing her to do things that'll make her skip practice?" "―――Hm."

I can't object against that. Since I haven't stopped Sakura from coming to make breakfast, that does mean I'm restricting Sakura's time in the morning.

"That's not true…! I'm helping Senpai by my choice. Aren't you going a bit far, Nii-san?"

"Too far? That's you, Sakura. So what if Emiya doesn't have parents? He says he's fine alone, so you can leave him alone. Someone like Emiya would feel more comfortable that way."

"Nii-san…! …That's terrible…" "―――Heh, fine. Don't go to Emiya's house from now on. You didn't come to the club when I told you to. You were prepared for this kind of a punishment, right?"

"―――――" Sakura gasps and freezes. Shinji tries to grab Sakura forcefully―――

"Good morning, Matou-kun. Sorry for eavesdropping, but that was a pretty interesting conversation right there." "Huh―――Toh… saka? Why are you with Sakura?"

"It's nothing unusual. Sakura-san is an acquaintance of Emiya-kun, and I'm an acquaintance of Emiya-kun, so we all came together this morning. Didn't you notice?"

"Wha―――a-an acquaintance of Emiya…!?" "Yes. I know him well enough that we'll be coming to school and going home together from now on. So, I'm thinking of making friends with Sakura-san too."

"With Emiya…!!!!!?" Shinji glares at me. …I must be just imagining that I felt more than enmity there. Well, I haven't been doing well with Shinji lately, but I don't remember doing anything to make him resent me that much.

"Ha, that's ridiculous. That's a bad joke, Tohsaka. There's no way you'd be with Emiya. …Oh, I see. You must have a misunderstanding. It's true that I was friends with Emiya a while ago, but we're detached now. So there isn't much point in that approach, you know?"

"Is that so? I'm glad to hear that. I didn't have the slightest interest in you."

"―――Wow." I pity Shinji. If that was me, it would be traumatic enough that I wouldn't recover for a while.

"―――You." "And, Matou-kun? About that conversation earlier. The morning practice of the archery club is open participation. I've never heard that you need permission to be absent. I'm sure Fujimura-Sensei and Ayako don't know of such a rule either."

"Uh―――shut up! An older brother can do whatever he likes with his sister! Don't poke your nose into our family affairs!" "Yes, I feel the same way. So isn't it wrong for you to say such things about Emiya-kun's household? Geez, you're rowdy so early in the day, Matou-kun."

"―――――!" Shinji takes a step back and glares at me and Sakura.

"――All right, I'll forgive you for this morning. But it won't happen again, Sakura. If something happens again, I'll make sure you understand your position." Saying what he wants, Shinji runs away to the school building. Yeah. He definitely ran away after losing to Tohsaka.

"…I'm sorry, Senpai. Nii-san, um… was rather rude." Sakura lowers her head apologetically. She must be apologizing to Tohsaka as well.

"No, it was good exercise. My mind went up a gear, so I'm finally up to par now. I love arguments."

"And I should be the one apologizing. I think I did a bit too much. He has his position to think of, so I shouldn't have done that in front of everybody, you know? If Matou-kun is feeling down, cheer him up. Tell him he doesn't have to learn from experience, and that he can come at me again."

"Ah――yes. If he doesn't learn from experience, please talk to him again, Senpai." Sakura must be relieved, as she smiles cheerfully. Tohsaka is looking away, bashful.

"You too, Senpai. Um, please try not to get mad about it. You're the only friend Nii-san has." "I know. It's impossible not to get mad, but I knew he was that kind of a guy as soon as I got to know him. Well, I know we'll get to know each other better someday, so I'll be patient with him."

"Yes―――please give him your best regards, Senpai." Sakura bows. …Yeah. If I do get really mad at Shinji, it'll be because he's not satisfied with such a wonderful sister.

"Then, Senpai, let's do our best today." Sakura goes to the first year hallway.

We walk up the stairs and enter the second-year hallway, and… "Whoa!?" …Run into the student council president.

"W-Why are you with Tohsaka, Emiya Shirou!?" I see. You are full of enmity too, for a different reason.

"Oh, good morning, Ryudou-kun. What kind of a greeting is 'whoa' supposed to be?" "Guh, I had a bad feeling when I woke up, but I never thought things would go in such an unpropitious direction―――! Ah, come here, Emiya! You'll be poisoned if you stay so close to Tohsaka!"

Issei forcefully pulls on my hand. After looking silently at us, Tohsaka heads to Class 2-A as if nothing has happened.

"Heh, go ahead. No one's going to stop you." "……" Tohsaka silently passes by us. And then… "Shirou, rooftop during lunch." She mutters that so Issei would not be able to hear it.

―――It's lunchtime. Since the events of this morning, Issei has avoided me, treating me like a traitor.

"…I guess I joked around a bit too much." I contemplate my actions for a moment. He asked me why I was with Tohsaka this morning. "We got close during the holidays." Answering like that was bad.

I think the problem is how we became close, but I couldn't explain that, and Issei walked away dizzily.

"…Well, I guess it's fine. I'll have to do a lot of things alone for a while." It's good to have less people involved. Well, what I should do right now is―――

[undead-potatoes]

I wanna ask that question right back! Which of your OCs is most like you? I'm curious!

I thought about this question for like an hour while trying to sleep last night, and all I'll say is don't do deep self reflection exercises in the dark before bed kids

Also this got kinda long, ops 🙈

Much like you (and I'm sure everyone else) I put pieces of myself into all my OCs, intentionally or otherwise, and so they all have bits of me.

I don't know if it's because he's so fresh in my mind, or if it's because I didn't have too much of a plan going in so he just became a natural reflection of me, but Jay is really high up there on the list.

Loud, talkative, jovial, happiest when he's of help to others, solution oriented and takes most unforeseen problems in his stride. But he's also incredibly self-conscious, and terrified of taking up space or being a bother to someone else, often forgoing his own needs bc it's not THAT important, it's fine. Sorry for existing.

He naturally gravitates towards other people's problems and a wish to help them (whether that's welcome or not), but prefers to stick his head in the sand when it comes to dealing with his own shit. When things get bad emotionally he goes into himself, and can become borderline dissociative, just lost to the void.

He's extremely good at finding stuff other people need but can't find, feeding into this need to be helpful. He's bit of a control freak and perfectionist too, and has to stop himself and call it good enough or he'll go on forever (wow look how topical)

I could honestly keep going but this is long enough as it is 🙈 I have no idea how we ended up here but I guess he's my emotional support self-insert blorbo now, bye.

Still, he's his own character. He's much better with people than I am, especially children, and doesn't have Retsuko-levels of rage bubbling right under the surface at all times. He's more manipulative and mischievous, and small grievances bounce off him easier. I only ignore my problems until I have to deal with them, he actively runs away from his. He's more extroverted than me, and doesn't mind big crowds, while they're the bane of my existence. And so on and so forth.

ANYWAYS this somehow turned into the a Jay post, I'm sorry lmao. His character wasn't really planned at all, I just let him grow naturally from the way I played (kinda like with you and your Aeducan), and once I took a step back and looked at him I was like "hold on a minute, this is just me if I was cool and had extra trauma, what the fuck".

Honorable mentions of pillars of my own personality shoved into other characters go to;

Courier May (F3/NV) - So damn angry all the time about everything, much of it useless and a waste of energy, but it's really hard to turn it off.

Nimri Brosca DA:O) - This applied more to younger me, but I can get REALLY ride or die for someone, like to the point where it becomes a major character flaw.

Pomona Hawke (DA2) - Did you eat? Yes? Are you sure? Are you wearing enough layers? When did you last apply sunscreen? Did you remember to drink enough today? [The mother hen questions goes on for another 5 minutes]. Also everything is always my fault somehow.

Sam Jones (VtM:B) - Just absolutely insufferable about social justice, and the other half of my rage that's an answer to injustice. You've not seen me angry until I've had a whiff of something cruelly unfair.

And because I feel like I've been too negative here;

Ridley (Coral Island) - Hard-working and generous :)c