#I'm sorry it kind of turned into a meta fandom post

[xoxoemynn]

Em!!

Hello lovely, I know I wrote you a lovely letter recently during your own love fest but I still wanted to pop in and say hi and spread some more love and give some hugs.

So, just to reiterate what I’ve said a million times before:

Thank you so much for sharing your work with us and for being so awesome and supportive. It’s so beautiful to have people like you in our fandom who do so much to help uplift others and stay positive. Honestly, idk how you do it sometimes, this world can be so nasty and whenever things kinda go sideways you’re always there with the just right thing to say to bring that little spark of hope back. For me at least.

Your post about the show yesterday really hit me hard bc I was feeling pretty low and it’s just nice to know that we have such passionate fans who are willing to stick around and keep this fandom running, even if we don’t get our show back.

Thank you again 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 I hope you have a lovely rest of your sunday evening. 💜

Awwww lovely, this is so extremely kind of you to say. And I'm glad you found comfort in that post. Truthfully, I do still circle through all the stages of grief in losing OFMD. Some days are better than others. I know everyone handles it differently — some people go full clown, others prefer to accept that it's over for good. We've all got to do whatever is best for our mental health. For me, that does mean keeping a bit of hope alive. That spark, no matter how faint it may be at times, is what keeps me going. I lose hope, I'm just straight into the abyss.

But hope doesn't just happen. You do have to nurture it. I've gotten much more protective of my fandom space since the cancellation. We live in a reality where it's very likely we will never get more canonical content for this show. Fandom is the only guarantee we have left, and even that will only last so long as we tend to it with love.

Because of that, it's just not fun to me to be a hater, or to spend time dwelling on the parts of the show/fandom that I dislike or wish would be different. It's just not interesting to me and, frankly, I think nearly every round of discourse we get is just a weak rehash of discourse we've been through a dozen times already and that's very boring to me. So I just don't engage. I block and filter liberally. If shit starts getting to me, I log off and come back when I'm ready.

I prefer to spend my time celebrating all the art and fic and meta that comes out of this fandom, or sharing fun head canons, or laughing at shitposts. And I have very selfish reasons for doing that because usually that inspires people to do MORE of it, so I get to enjoy it even MORE, even when I'm busy or emotionally drained and can't offer much myself.

It's a common phrase that you get out of fandom what you put into it, and I do think that's true, but I also think it's only half of the equation. I think you also get out of fandom what you take out of it. And so that's why I spend my time in places and with people that spark joy and creativity and love, because that fuels my own, and that's what keeps my spark of hope burning. That's what encourages me to continue sharing my love for the show and all the fans, because I see it in so many others. And if anybody or anything gets in the way of that? Fuck'em. They serve no purpose to me and are in fact counterproductive to the reason I'm in this fandom at all. Fare thee well.

And so when I see you going around spreading kindness, and dropping these really thoughtful notes in people's inboxes, and reaching out to people who are struggling, and leaving really sweet replies on posts and the BEST comments on fics? That's IT. That's what fandom is. That's the whole heart of it. That's what gives me hope. That's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me out of the abyss.

So thank YOU for all that you do, thank you for showing your love for the show, thank you for showing your love to the fans. That's why we're still here. And that's the only way we'll continue to be here years upon years after the Revenge sets sail for the final time. 💕

[chubsonthemoon]

Last Binderary book is DONE!!!! This is the incredible Maybe sprout wings, by @moorishflower.

This post is going to be a doozy, so gonna just skip straight to the cut!

INTERIOR

INTRODUCTION

I really wanted to model this bind after my own copy of the Odyssey, (which is all highlighted and bookmarked and annotated to hell from my Great Text courses in undergrad ehe, so this bind was such a fun trip down memory lane!). But beyond just the cover/general aesthetic, I also wanted to give the book a similar feel to these kinds of editions of classics--there's usually an introduction, translation notes, and other supplementary materials, right? Like, a physical manifestation of the work of many, many people, all having conversations with one another across time and space.

So that's what I did! I wrote a short introduction (I will also probably post it to my AO3/my blog as well, in the name of preservation etc. etc.) and began reaching out to folks in the fandom who I knew had created art and meta for the fic. The result? 18k words of analysis, comments, and meta, and nearly twenty pages of art!

And this is what I love most about this bind, I think! This book is the work of several people--truly a collaborative work by the fandom--all of whom I will now be shamelessly calling out below :D

CHAPTER HEADER ART

First and foremost, this book would not be what it is without the gorgeous header art by @fancy-rock-dove! Thank you so much Dove for letting include your work, and for being so supportive and kind these past few weeks about this bind <3 You in particular have contributed so much to this book (which I will be getting more into in the next section ehe), and I'm so psyched I get to hold your art and words, too!

NOTES ON THE TEXT

This section was divided into four parts: Asks and Answers, Meta, Selected Comments, and Chapter Heading Art: Process

For Asks and Answers, I trawled Heather's blog for meta she had written in response to questions and other meta about the fic. Asks came from @fancy-rock-dove, @quillingwords, @kulapti, and myself! (I THINK I got all of them--tumblr's search function is finnicky even on its best days, so so sorry if I missed something T_T) I first got hooked into reading this fic because of one of these asks, so I'm very fond of this section in particular :D

For Meta, I included two wonderful essays written by @pastrypuppy (also known as @kulapti) about Hob as an author figure and the Disrupted Fisher King narrative in MSW. Her analyses were so fascinating and I just had to include them in the book! (And thank you as well for your permission, friend!) (also hello fellow Renegade comrade 🫡)

For Selected Comments, I owe everything to (once again :3) @fancy-rock-dove, whose insights are the epitome of transformative fandom at work. I'd look for their comments after I read every chapter to see what their takes were on this or that element of the story, and every single time I would go "!!!!! I didn't even realize!!!" or "OOOOOOOH I hadn't thought of that!!" It was like being in a lecture hall and always whipping your head around when one of your classmates raised their hand, because you knew they were going to say something fascinating that you hadn't considered before.

Aside from one of my own comments, Dove's comments make up the entirety of this section (for which I owe you my life--your long-form responses to fics are a gift to this world) but GOSH was it also so much fun going through the comments section while typesetting and seeing all the keyboard smashing, yelling, and crying from the other commenters. Communal nature of storytelling and ongoing meaning-making of fanfiction, babey!

And finally for Chapter Heading Art: Process: once again Dove coming in clutch with some wonderful insights into the design of each of the chapter heading art pieces! This kind of stuff is honestly my favorite: meta about art for a fic which is, in turn, a transformation of an existing story (not even to mention that The Sandman is its own kind of fanfiction of existing mythologies and histories)--I just!! Think it's all really, really neat :'D (for more coherent/polished thoughts on this pls see my introduction asjdfkls)

ART

The art gallery!!! A million thanks to @fishfingersandscarves, @honeyseller, @jazzpsych, @doctor-rainbowfoxey, and (HI AGAIN DOVE) @fancy-rock-dove for granting me permission to include all of your beautiful pieces!

As usual for artworks in my binds, I printed each piece out on specialty photo paper to really make the colors pop, then sewed each page separately to the text block! Behold, everyone's beautiful beautiful pieces!

The art gallery also satisfies the certain "oooh shiny" part of my brain that always activates when I see pictures in a book, so am also very fond of this section :3

CONSTRUCTION

And now on to the nitty gritty stuff! I used the German Bradel binding technique again, my second time using it. Even though it's more complicated than the case bind, I really love how it gives you the full board space for the cover designs (~it's free real estate~). Keep it a secret but I kiiiiiiind of made a small goof in the last few steps (I did the turn-ins a step too early and so had to paste an extra sheet of cardstock to secure the spine to the boards, whoopsie), but it's a pretty small difference, aesthetically speaking, so it wasn't the end of the world XD

Edges are once again fake gilded, but this time I tried something new with the colors! I did two layers of acrylic paint--one watered down shade of red for the base, then one metallic gold on top of that. I really like the red/gold effect! I'll have to keep experimenting with this kind of layering:

ALSO. Y'ALL! I think I'm finally getting the hang of endbands!!! Many thanks to the folks at Renegade who hosted all the endband workshops last month--I'm still working through them, but even the few sessions I've seen have been TREMENDOUSLY helpful. I learned that tension is Very Important, as well as thread thickness, so I tried doubling my thread and keeping a Very Close Eye on how I was holding the threads while doing the beads. And behold! I still have a ways to go (and one day I would LOVE to do the fancier designs), but I'm v happy with the progress I've made so far!

And finally the covers!! ARCHIVAL MOD PODGE MY BELOVED. I printed on the same matte presentation paper that I used for the art, then did several coats of archival matte mod podge + a pass of gloss mod podge over the title strip to make it ~shiny~. Then once those had dried and I'd adhered them to the boards, I sprayed two layers of matte clear acrylic sealer (also mod podge!) to finish it off. I had some issues with the paper tearing when I handled it before it was fully dry, but luckily the blemishes were small enough that it was easy to do spot corrections with my black acrylic paint. And now I know to be more patient next time LOL

(some non-photoshoot shots that show the shine a little better!)

FINAL THOUGHTS

I had a lot of thoughts while I was binding this book--about Sandman fandom, about Dreamling fandom, about the Odyssey, about storytelling, about fanbinding, about Binderary, about Renegade, about my friends--but really what came to mind the most was gratitude!

Simply put, I'm so grateful to everyone I've met both in this fandom and throughout the years I've been active online--this is SO fun, y'all. It's so much fun to love stories together--to talk about them, to write them, and of course to bind them! I hope I've adequately conveyed that gratitude.

But of course, this book would not exist without the wonderful words of @moorishflower. Heather, thank you so, SO much for sharing your stories, thoughts, and time with us--it is always a happier, better day when I get an email notif from you and when I see you on my dash. I love your work so much, and I'm so happy I finally get to put it on my shelf! So thank you so much again, for everything <3

and OKAY THAT'S IT FROM ME FOLKS!!!!! Binderary 2023 is officially a wrap! I had SUCH a blast--will probably write up a reflection post on it uhhhh after I take a very long nap ajslkdfjslk _(:3」∠)_

all my love! <3

[caslyra]

Please don't expect consistent (and continuous) posting

(Look after yourselves!)

Hi!

I feel the need to make one of those intro posts because recently a few blogs started following me that seem to be more into the fanon interpretation of things, and I don't want anybody to get the wrong ideas about what to expect from this blog.

About me... I'm 29, she/her, pan/bi (I don't care which label), and demi (which took me really long to figure out).. I used to be a judge but dropped out because of a myriad of reasons but mainly because of... well, depression. I cannot, for the life of me, remember how many letters there are in the alphabet, I love carrots but they make me nauseous, and my socks are more holes than fabric.

So... let's move to the important stuff.. JK sucks, and parts of the canon suck too - like the house elf stuff and her naming "skills" which are very telling, her fat shaming, and the anti-trans shit that is even written into the original source material. But for the most part, the characterization isn't one of them. So on this blog, I will defend the canon version of characters, flaws and all.

To make myself clear: hc characters as trans and writing characters as gay etc is great and I fully support that. What I mind, however, is the heteronormative, mysoginistic cliches we keep seeing under the guise of 'progressive' queer ships. If you not only change their gender or their height but also their personalities so that they fit heteronormative stereotypes that's problematic. Same goes for the casual racism going on in this fandom. Portraying non-white people as huge, buff guys with anger-issues is - you guessed it - problematic!

What to expect from this blog:

Me applauding the many great people out there. Do you even know how great you are???

Me geeking out, especially about the characters and ships I love most

Me writing long-ass metas at two in the morning because that one post was the final straw.

Me ranting and contradicting myself.

Nuance - or at least, I try. But I'm just a person with biases, and I read the books through the lens of my own experiences, so yeah. And of course there's always a range, even when sticking to canon.

(I say I care about nuance, but you'll find me swaying to full-force apologism the next second - get used to it, I'm a hypocrite).

Some writing. Here's my ao3. I'm also working on a long wolfstar fic. I plan on starting to post it before I turn 30 (which will be in mid-December).

Remus/Sirius will always be my OTP - canon personalities - dysfunctional mess and all. But I do enjoy a few other ships and I love so many characters!

I can get very passionate about fictional characters, but I'm an adult, and I know they're fictional. And I believe I can take criticism, so if there's anything on your mind... Hit the "ask" button or reach out to me. Reaching out is always fine anyhow!

It's always my personal opinion I'm talking about; I don't think I'm some kind of hp authority, but that goes without saying.

What not to expect from this blog:

Art (I reblog, of course, but you don't want me to draw, believe me).

Dumbledore hate / Remus hate (don't confuse with criticism, I'm all for criticism). No ATYD hate either. I have my issues with it, but it's not the author's fault it has become the fandom's new rulebook.

Me dumbing down James and Sirius, etc.

Me abandoning James and Peter. But, sorry not sorry (and wolfstar aside), I will keep pushing my "Remus and Sirius (also) were close friends at Hogwarts" agenda

Jegulus/Slytherin skittles stuff. If that's your thing, that's fine, but it isn't mine.

Me keeping it short.

I'm always happy to discuss stuff! :)

Most important information for last, right? If I speak ill about Remus, it is always with the most love possible. I keep saying Sirius is my favorite character, but he has a lot of fans out there, and avoidant, self-loathing, passive-aggressive, manipulative, ruthless, but also smart, brave, kind, loyal, empathetic, thoughtful and selfless (yes, you read that correctly) Remus holds a special place in my heart.

[aleksanderscult]

Fandom: Darklina stans are delulu, Darkling apologists have no proof.

Also the fandom:

I'm sorry, when did this happen? What is this?? I don't think it happened in the show and it definitely didn't happen in the books. When did the darkling ever tell Alina to hate Zoya? Or vise versa?

Zoya decided herself that for some reason she was the darkling's favorite just because "he kept her busy" and because she had daddy issues. She wasn't even close to him in the books. His close soldiers were heartrenders and his personal otkasatsya guards. She decided she was entitled to her boss's attention for some reason and started being horrible to Alina because she had his attention because of her powers. As if that's an understandable reason to crack Alina's ribs?? And in turn, Alina didn't like Zoya only because she bullied her. How is Aleksander at fault here? How is a general to blame in a petty teenage girl drama? He didn't even say manipulative things to make them dislike each other or anything. In the show, Zoya is making moves on him and he outwardly plainly tells her that he doesn't have time for hookups because the sun summoner is missing and the country is going to shit.

And these people think they correctly analyzed Aleksander's character? Or Alina's and Zoya's?

Sorry for ranting, I just can't keep it in anymore. I need to hear somebody else's thoughts on this.

Ah yes... That post.

I talked about it here as well.

But look. It's funny how his antis make up brand new scenarios about how he manipulated everyone in that book because they somehow need to make him seem as "evil" as possible. It's as if his canon self isn't enough for them to hate him. They must make him worse themselves!

Seriously, does anyone believe the Darkling had even some spare time to do that?

Aside from the fact that he had to:

1) Lead an army

2) Attend councils

3) Travel from Ravka's one side to the other

4) Make sure the Grisha were stationed at their appropriated posts

5) Sign papers

He also needed to make room for his "special manipulative plan" taking place at 20:00 just before supper.

Guys, even Alina, when she took over his position, found herself exhausted from all the responsibilities that were placed on her shoulders.

Also, as far as I can remember Zoya attacked Alina just one day after the former arrived at the Little Palace from her own duties. And Alina didn't like her because she suspected of her little one night stand with Mal.

But what do I say??

According to our antis' claims this is what the Darkling actually does:

The antis preach how knowledgeable they are about the book material and the next minute they start talking about the most unrelated shit that has ever unrelated.

I have never seen an anti make a meta about the Darkling and these kind of accusations with excerpts from the book. Just saying :)

[toxicroyjamie]

I think you've mentioned before how you don't really picture RoyJamie having kids post-canon, and I agree, those two as a pairing just give off a DINK vibe to me, but im curious to hear your thoughts on what UNPLANNED parenthood would do to either character. Like, what would happen if either of them had a one night stand baby and were (for whatever contrived fanfic reason you can think of) deemed the only parent fit to raise a kid? I mostly ask because I have a very specific au involving Roy that would relate to this concept rattling around my skull and hearing your meta always inspires me to write so I thought I'd take inspiration straight from the source!!! 🌟🌟🌟

Hi!! It makes me so happy that my meta inspires you, that's amazing to hear :') thanks for following!

Honestly, I've never much considered this for RJ because it's just not a trope that really piques my interest personally ☹️ I've read a few fics like this for other fandoms and I've always been bothered by the roles the mothers have played in them - offscreen villainous incubators basically. Which is not to say in any way that your fic would be like that or every fic with this trope is like that, just that I kind of got turned off of the whole idea, so I don't have much to add. Sorry!!

However I'm a huge fan of trans/genderqueer Jamie in any situation, and I've definitely toyed with the idea of Roy and Jamie dealing with an accidental pregnancy as like enemies with benefits (post-s2 maybe, like Jamie goes to Marbella with Roy after the breakup and they Conceive or whatever). "Enemies to lovers but they're having sex the whole time and one of them is pregnant with the other's baby and one just got out of a very serious relationship with the pregnant one's ex girlfriend" is so deliciously messy

[one-flower-one-sword]

Hello! I’m new to your blog so it’s possible you may have shared similar thoughts. I recently finished the novel and just wanted to share some random thoughts. :-D Did you figure out Hua Cheng was Wu Ming before the novel revealed it? I was spoiled on this before reading and so saw the hints leading up to it. I don't know if I would have figured it out beforehand, but I just think it's interesting seeing some of the hints. One being when Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were running on the rooftops of the Heavenly Capital, trying to get to his guoshi. Xie Lian felt a sense of deja vu I think. And then Hua Cheng's reaction when Xie Lian made a joke about being stabbed and turned into mush. I just thought that was really good foreshadowing. _____

I’ve seen some of the jokes about Hua Cheng being a stalker and I have to say again just how not true that is and it’s not even something I want to joke about. Seeing how Jun Wu actually stalked him, tormented him and all the pain that caused Xie Lian. Hua Cheng never did, and would never do anything like that. This man has such a visceral reaction to any pain Xie Lian has that it would be, at this point, like going against his very nature to do so. He is so careful about not wanting to cause Xie Lian harm by his own actions ( and of course by others).

—--------------- I was reminded from a TGCF discussion thread how young Hua Cheng was during the time Xie Lian was the White Clothed Calamity. He was 16-17 or 17-18. After all the suffering he saw Xie Lian go through, of course he was ready to burn the world down for him. It’s completely understandable even if one doesn’t agree with it. And as soon as Xie Lian changed his mind, he put aside his own desire for revenge and helped Xie Lian stop it by sacrificing himself.

I once read a thread where a comment was made that Hua Cheng encouraged Xie Lian to commit genocide because he asked why wait 3 days to inflict the Human Face Disease and it bothered me because that just wasn’t the case. And I feel it kind of does a disserve to Hua Cheng - missing out on the fact he too had just witnessed his beloved stabbed to death. Ofc, he wanted revenge but he never let that desire override what Xie Lian ultimately wanted to do.

I remember a fanfic I read kind of addressed how back then Hua Cheng didn’t try to stop Xie Lian from doing something that would’ve hurt him mentally and emotionally. Hua Cheng said at present he would say something to Xie Lian if  something were to happen again. Although Hua Cheng didn’t deny he’d ultimately follow through if Xie Lian persisted, Xie LIan said he wouldn’t because he’d listen to Hua Cheng. I know it’s fanfic, but I thought that was the best way to surmise how things would play out because Hua Cheng at present wants Xie Lian to keep from being hurt in all ways, not just his body, but of course will ultimately follow whatever Xie Lian says.

I guess I just wanted to know, from your reading and thoughts on the characters, how do you think Hua Cheng would respond to Xie Lian if he was on the verge of doing something of that nature again? 

Sorry for the word vomit, happy to clarify anything that got too jumbled up! And if it's too much to answer, any thoughts you'd like to share about anything I mentioned is just fine. :) Thank you!

hi, thank you so much for your ask! I'm honestly still really humbled people want to know my tgcf opinions, I did not expect this much interest at all when I started posting.

I was also spoilered for Hua Cheng being Wu Ming, but yeah, the foreshadowing in this novel really is amazing! as with the Black Water arc, every time I reread the novel I spot another small bit of foreshadowing.

I also feel your frustration in regards to the "Hua Cheng is a stalker" thing, I'm continually baffled when it comes up in fandom - because like you said, it was Jun Wu who repeatedly displayed this kind of violating behavior towards Xie Lian, not Hua Cheng. I've mentioned it in previous meta posts, though I've not yet talked extensively about it. I have a longer post in the works though where I tackle several takes on hualian's relationship that seem popular in fandom yet I feel are directly contradicted by the text.

In regards to your last questions, I've also wondered about these kinds of what-ifs, though I think the point of this storyline was that Xie Lian ultimately did choose kindness and forgiveness, and also that he was only brought to this point after suffering through the trauma of incredibly brutal violation and torture and the loss of his parents through suicide. and in regards to Hua Cheng, like you said it needs to be kept in mind what witnessing Xie Lian be violated and tortured like this did to him as well. it's very obvious both from Hua Cheng's wrath against anyone and anything who causes Xie Lian pain - including Hua Cheng himself when he feels he's failed Xie Lian in some way - as well as his unflinching self-sacrifical protectiveness towards Xie Lian, how deeply he was traumatized by what he witnessed people do to Xie Lian. unfortunately i feel like the complexities of the whole situation often get flattened out or outright ignored in certain fandom circles in favor of takes like "and that's why hualian is a toxic relationship" and other such nonsense.

also like you said it's often a disservice to Hua Cheng in particular, who I've several times seen described as one-dimensional and "walking red flag of a person". honestly one of the reasons I've been focusing so much meta on him is because of how baffling and frankly annoying I find these kinds of takes.

I think I may have read that same fanfic btw! that conversation feels familiar :3 I don't remember all the details but it did make sense to me.

don't apologize for rambling btw, always feel free to send me your thoughts! I feel like this reply ended up also quite rambly, I hope my answers were at least somewhat satisfactory anyway. some of the things you touched upon I will definitely address with more detail in that longer post I mentioned on hualian's relationship that I've been working on.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Not to keep harping on this but I accidentally saw a post that pissed me off a little bit so I'm gonna talk about it. Originally I was gonna put this at the end of the post but I've decided to move it to the top because I know some people are determined to take me out of context so I'll sacrifice the formatting of this post and some of the impact of this sentence in a vain hope that my point will not be misconstrued. I fully anticipate people skipping over this first paragraph anyway but at least I did my due diligence. You can like Izzy, I like Lestat (AMC IWTV), I like the Joker, It's fine to have an evil blorbo. It's the apologia that gets me tho. You're fake villain fuckers and you can't admit that your blorbo is fucked up in some deeply uncomfortable ways.

That said on to my angry meta: Either Izzy is homophobic, or he's an abuser. He could be both, but he can't be neither otherwise the literal climax of the first season doesn't make any fucking sense. Like he calls in a swat on Stede and the crew because Stede has, quote, "done something to his boss's brain" and he wants Stede dead because of it. homosexuality as a corrupting influence is textbook homophobia. He thinks Stede has made Ed soft and he thinks he's using his limp wristed wiles to do it.

If you don't want to read it as homophobia (which would be a weird reading because it fails to explain that line and misses the whole message about toxic masculinity, but I've heard it's the reading that some people go with so, let's look at it) and you think that he's doing all of this because he's in love with Ed and he's jealous, I hate to tell you but that brings us back around to the abuser reading.

Like, the reading that this subset of the fandom seems to want me to believe is Izzy is in tragic gay love with Ed. But that doesn't make a single damn thing that he did ok. In fact it kind of makes it worse. Like trying to kill the loved ones of your beloved is text book abuser behavior. You're telling me that Izzy feels so entitled to Ed that he cannot take "Fuck off you're banished from the ship" For an answer, and he has to kill the guy that he blames for turning Ed against him? And I'm supposed to sympathize with that? Get real. That's text book abuser behavior. If that's the reading, then Izzy can't handle Ed having someone in his life that isn't Izzy, he can't handle Ed making decisions that Izzy doesn't approve of, and he can't handle Ed breaking off their relationship (which was Izzy's fault by the way he agreed to duel Stede sorry you can't handle the consequences honey). Those first two things you have to be able to handle if you want to have friends or even professional relationships, and the third thing is something that you're allowed to be upset about but that you're gonna have to move on from. Instead Izzy comes up with a hair brained scheme that risks the crews lives, Calico Jack's life, and, most importantly, risks Ed's life in order to... what? Undermine Ed's own autonomous choice to pursue a relationship with Stede? Get rid of a guy that he thinks is driving him and Ed apart so that Ed will maybe take him back? That's abuser shit my guy.

If there's another explanation for Izzy calling the fucking cops I'd love to hear it but as far as I can tell the options are "He hates Stede because Stede is frilly and camp and thinks Stede is making Ed weak" aka Textbook hate crime and "He's in deeply dysfunctional love and is therefore trying to force Ed to be in a relationship with him despite the fact that Ed has made it clear he doesn't want that" aka Textbook abuser.

To be clear I wouldn't have Izzy any other way. The roll he plays in the narrative is important to the story. I don't like him, per se, but I like stories about overcoming toxic masculinity, and those stories have to have a villain, and I was deeply emotionally ruined by the consequences of his actions, (i.e. the domino effect that caused Stede to abandon Ed on the dock) so I want him around for as long as they decide to keep him around. Just, like, fucking pretending he's never done anything wrong ever? Come on now.

[ice-sculptures]

hey everyone!! so, originally, i wanted to do one of these back when all of y'all were posting your 'follow forever' + favorite blogs lists for new year's eve, but at that point in time i didn't feel like i knew anyone well enough to make a full list. but now, it's been almost nine months (holy shit!!!) since i joined this fandom, and there have been so many people that i've connected with and who have made my experience on here so much fun and so special.

plus...it's my birthday today, so i thought - what better way to celebrate it than to show my immense love & appreciation for all my mutuals, followers friends, and anyone who has ever made my tumblr experience better?

this isn't really in any particular order, and also, i am so so sorry if i forgot anyone. i had to type this out at least six times over the past two months because tumblr kept deleting my progress for some reason, so i'm really sorry if i missed anyone because of it. i recognize the urls of anyone that regularly interacts with my posts, so i promise that if you've ever left nice tags in the reblogs of my gifs or replied to any of my WIPS or tagged me in a gifset or in a tag game or sent me a nice ask or anything at all, really, please know that i think you're wonderful and i love you all so much even if tumblr hates me and decided to erase all of the evidence of it 😅

okay, enough dillydallying!! putting this under a cut so that it doesn't swallow ur dash whole....n here we go :)

@fireplceashes hi jen!! i know i said like. just one paragraph above that this was in no particular order, but i immediately broke the no. 1 rule of law and lied, bc as my very first friend in this fandom you are so undoubtedly so special to me and i'm putting you first just because i Can and no one can stop me. but anyway. where do i even begin with you? you are easily one of the sweetest people i have Ever, ever met - not just on tumblr, but in my real life as well - and i really love talking to you So much. thank you so much for always listening to my rants, and checking up on me, and just generally being there for me. you're just a really soothing person to talk to and i never have to worry about being 'too much' or anything like that when i'm talking to you. and of course - you are also so, so talented, and your gifs are absolutely stunning. they always turn out so beautifully, and i'm so in awe of your editing skills. basically...i'm just Very grateful to have met you, and *mike wheeler voice* all of my other mutuals, they're great, but my fandom experience would not be the same without you ❤️

@basiltonpitch spencer!! i feel the need to echo the first thing i said to you and remind you that i think you're a genius :') fun fact that i haven't told you: when i first found your blog, even before i realized that you were That person who wrote the benvi meta that i loved, the first posts that i saw from you were your beautiful web weavings, and i was immediately like Who is this person??? and Who gave them the permission to stomp all over my heart like this?? wtf?? i just. i love ur brain So so much and i'm so grateful that i get to enjoy your creativity in not one but two of my favorite fandoms (soon to be 3 with 911 maybe?) oh also...this is slightly embarrassing but i've gone back through your blog a few times just so i can read your incredible meta because all of your thoughts are so valuable to me. you are the Only person on this site that i trust to Get devi vishwakumar and one of the biggest reasons why i'm so excited for never have i ever s4 to drop is so that i can experience it alongside you!! and even outside of your creative genius, you are one of my favorite people to talk to bc you're so kind and so supportive and such an absolute sweetheart and i really love hearing everything you have to say. so. um. basically. i am just a Spencer Enthusiast through and through 💖

@padmedala carson!! hello!! first off, i've said this to you a million times, but i want to thank you once again for writing one of my favorite pieces of byler fanfiction. do you know that one post about reading fanfics and having to stop because 'he would not say that?' well, your work is the epitome of reading a fic and feeling wholly satisfied because yes, he would say that - in fact, i would not hesitate for a minute to say that you have the strongest grasp on will and mike's characterization - especially their dynamic together - out of any writer i've met in this entire fandom. like...i enjoy your writing so much that i've read a couple of your pieces for IT despite not having any knowledge of the source material simply because i wanted to experience more of your work. you're also such a deeply kind and supportive person, and you have no idea how much i appreciate every single time you've checked up on me or sent me a sweet message or even just dropped into my inbox to say hello. you make my dash infinitely brighter, and i'm so very glad to know you and have you as a friend on here 💞

@wllbyers dani!! hi!! i have so much to say abt how wonderful you are, and i was struggling w how to articulate this for a while, but then i remembered that you once said to me that you found my presence on the dash comforting, and honestly, that's exactly how i feel about you. forgive me for the awkward metaphor, but seeing you on the dash is like coming home after a long day and having a warm, home-cooked meal. seeing your url and icon always makes me smile, and i'm so grateful that we're mutuals because of how kind, considerate, and utterly genuine you are!! i don't know if i'm describing this right, but you just feel so real, you know? i feel like your personality shines through with every post you make, and i always love seeing it. and i'm sorry if this is weird to say, but your openness and your authenticity about everything going on in your life makes me feel a little bit less alone about my own struggles. also do you remember when you started watching 911 and eventually ended up getting ahead of me, and you tagged each and every one of your posts just so that i wouldn't get spoiled? i know it seems simple, but the sheer fact that you thought of doing that just for me had me melting into a little puddle w my face looking like that one meme of kristen bell. you are just so, so lovely and i'm unbelievably glad we're mutuals 🥰

@willblogger ima i've said this many times before but i absolutely Need to say it again: you are genuinely the funniest person on byler tumblr. i cannot count the number of times that you've made me full-on belly laugh (to the point where my stomach starts to hurt) and completely destroyed my attempts to casually and inconspicuously scroll through tumblr in public places. i dunno how you do it at all but every single thing you say is such an absolute delight and i am always giggling n kicking my feet when i read the tags on all of your posts. the thousands of people on tiktok and twitter copying your jokes could never do it like you. you've also got this deep understanding of the way the text has been written and i really appreciate how your analysis honors the characters as they are instead of trying to make them more palatable them for this fandom. it's just. it's rare to find people that love these characters as they are and understand them as well as you do and i feel very lucky to have found your blog. also this is not related at all but ur plushies are cute as fuck & i love them :) OH!! n thank u sm for being my number one stevebucky enthusiast mutual n partner in rage when it comes to avengers endgame!! can't wait to have a hate party w you (if you'd like) in five days 💗

@willelfanpage SARA HI HELLO do u see me waving at you. this is me holding up a banner screaming abt how much i love you. as the resident fandom cheerleader who gives and gives and gives so much love to everyone she interacts with, you deserve someone cheering YOU back on and that is what i am here to do!! you are so brilliant and you have never made an incorrect post in your life!!! all your fics are wonderful and i've loved reading them!! you are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you make everyone around you feel so safe and comfortable and welcome here. like. i can't tell you how much i admire how open you are with your kindness and friendship and how you give it so freely to everyone you interact with. i love talking to you so much - whether it's hearing about your life or sharing our ideas with one another or just. venting about anything i want to - and your enthusiasm is utterly infectious and makes me feel more hyped and excited to be in fandom. forgive me for being so sappy on main but i will never not be touched by your endless love for fandom, not only these characters and the works that people make, but for the people around you as well and i hope u know i love u very much too 💞

@jackietaylcrs hii marianne fellow haver of good taste!! i remember you once made a post wondering if your followers would still love you if your stranger posting went down to 0.5% and i wanted to lyk that i definitely would!! i really like reading your commentary on ST and yellowjackets, but even when you're posting about a show that i'm not familiar with, you have this Way of speaking that i find very charming and funny and entertaining, and you bring this inimitable energy to my dash that i doubt i could ever find elsewhere. i like the way you sign off your posts with 'and like i say: brf slt.' i think it’s Neat n it fits you very well. alsooo THANK YOU very very much for being the one to convince me to watch yellowjackets!! people have been telling me to watch it for a long time but in the end it was your posts that made me say, fuck it, and finally watch it. also. um. ur posts abt stephen harrison make me feel very Seen so. thank u. ok bye 💗

@emblazons hello marie my beloved mutual marie!! honestly, out of everything in this post, this message was the hardest to write because i don't even know where to begin with you!! you bring so, so much to this fandom - your thoughtful, entertaining, levelheaded commentary, your stunning gifsets, your logical and witty posts, your incredibly supportive and kind personality, and your endless passion for this show and all that goes into making it, as well as our shared love & enthusiasm for noah schnapp 😅 every time i think you've made the most brilliant observation or put out the most beautiful set, you go and top yourself by finding something new or making an even prettier gifset. if i had to pick one person whose contributions to the fandom enriched my experience of this show? more than anyone, it would be you!! and i could go on and wax poetic about your talent forever (as i have on many, many occasions bc you deserve it 🥰), but i'm gonna end it here by saying that you are a gift to this fandom and one of my absolute favorite people on here, and that i'm beyond grateful to know you.

@mikeandwillel sandy!!!! you are so so smart and your analysis is absolutely incredible. i look forward to each and every one of your analyses because you always find the most clever parallels and your deep dives into each of these characters' arcs are always written with so much care and skill. and of course, i forever have you to thank for writing The ultimate masterpiece (your s4 painting arc analysis) that finally convinced me of byler endgame and thus made my fandom experience so much more relaxing and fun. i also really love & how much you love mike for all that he is -- i feel like it's a little rare in this fandom, so seeing how much you adore his true character and how you Understand him better than anyone else i've ever met makes me really happy. and not to mention, i have no idea how you managed to get so good at gifmaking in such a short amount of time but all your sets are so beautiful!! you're a gem fr 💖

@babygirl-jonathanbyers abbyyyyyy hello!! do you know how much i love seeing you on my dash? i love your pure, unapologetic love for jonathan, jancy, and the byers brothers and it really makes my whole day when i see a post from you appreciating those characters/ships. your moodboards are also So pretty and your presence on my dash is so positive and welcoming. i hope you're doing well on your hiatus rn and i can't wait to see you back on here again 🫂

@elmaxed lumiiiii hi!!!! when i think of you, honestly, the very first word that comes to mind is creative, because you bring so much to this fandom and i'm so grateful for it. i'm obsessed with everything you write because your fics are so lively and fun and make me smile uncontrollably every time i read them, all your headcanons are brilliant and adorable, your moodboards are gorgeous and not to mention, your themes are always so beautiful!! you're just...such a ray of sunshine on my dash and i'm so happy to have followed you 🥰

@mlchaelwheeler sarahhhhh my favorite stonathan pioneer and one of my first mutuals in this fandom!! i think you already know this but your analyses were a huge part of what got me into the byler fandom in the first place and i have never looked back, so thank you for that!! i Love love love ur theories (especially the s5 spec stuff) and i love seeing u in my notifs and reading your lovely and enthusiastic tags on everything you reblog and i love your love for st's OST!! you're a really smart, sweet, and positive person with the best opinions and i am forever rooting for mike to get a sword in s5 just for you 🙏🏼

@bylrndgm dearest elz you have no idea how happy your blog makes me 🥹 you're one of the most talented gifmakers i've ever met, and i always find myself smiling so much whenever i see you've posted something new (especially your byler x TS edits 🥰) because they're always so beautiful!! i've also always felt like your blog and everything you've posted is one of the purest and most expressions of love for mike and will....it's so clear that you love them So much and your blog makes me so happy to be part of this community. you've also always been so sweet to me throughout my entire time in this fandom and you're one of the people that has made me feel most welcome here. also since i never ended up responding to your DM i wanted to say that whatever path you choose, i'm sure that you're going to crush it and i am rooting for your success always 💖

@madcleradin sierra madcleradin byhops finalgirlbyers willcoded!! ok i promise i don't mean this in a weird parasocial way but i kind of admired you from a distance for a while even before we were mutuals just because every single one of your posts that ended up on my dash had me nodding my head and tapping my brain in agreement and clapping for u like this 👏🏼 all of your takes are top tier and i love how passionate you are about everything you talk about!! you're def one of the sweetest, friendliest, and coolest people on byler tumblr and following u has been such a gift ❣

@byclairs hello emily!! your gifs are absolutely stunning and i love following you because i Know i can always count on you to have the most based takes, both on stranger things (especially ur will takes - those keep me sane fr) and on fandom as a whole. also just wanna say that you have the best taste in ships and that you've got a 10/10 banger of a url that always has me mentally giving you a thumbs up whenever i see you on the dash ❤️

@heroesbyler stav!! you're one of the most brilliant analysts on this site and i'm so in awe of all of the incredible theories and analyses you've posted!! i'm obsessed w all of your banger gay mike posts & i'm also both fascinated and disturbed by all of the dots you've connected regarding brenner, henry, & the lab. your posts are so insightful and compelling and you've made me think about so many things that i never would've noticed on first glance. i also love that you're both unflinchingly confident but also insanely kind - a rarity in most fandoms, especially this one, and i love that energy on my dash. i'm very proud to be your grandma (your words not mine -- no i will not let you forget about that 🙏🏼)

@mandycantdecide hiiiii amanda!! i love your blog so much, and even though we don't share all of the same fandoms i love seeing your posts about everything you're interested in because i can always feel your energy and enthusiasm for it no matter what :) in fact, it was actually your posts that made me want to get back into 911, and you have no idea how grateful i am to you for that because being in that fandom is the most fun i've had in a really long time. so thank you, thank you thank you for that, and for generally being so sweet 💕

@howtobecomeadragon ayla!! hello!! i know we don't know each other super well but i Really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your posts and all of your contributions to this fandom. you were one of my first favorite blogs when i first joined in august and you have no idea how thrilled i was when you followed me back haha 😅 i looooove your theory posts so much and i think your fics are fantastic (and i am Eagerly awaiting the end of come back to me and forgive everything so i can read it). you're also super sweet and kind to everyone around you, and i love seeing you on my dash 💞

@mrperfectlyfinetv hi jake!! as my designated Swiftie Mutual i feel like i should let you know that i don't usually follow taylor swift blogs bc swifties are scary but your gifs are so gorgeous and your takes are so good that i just Had to break my rule and follow you anyway. i really enjoy reading all of your opinions on miss swift even if you are a rep hater asdkjendfcskjflejrf and i adore all of your pretty ST and taylor swift gifsets!! i also love how much you love speak now and you've definitely made me go back and give it a few more listens so that i can appreciate it more & at this point i'm begging taylor to release speak now tv soon just for you 🫶

@magentamee - hi bre :) your art style is absolutely delicious and your writing is so cute and i've always noticed how committed you are to uplifting everyone around you in this fandom. also this is random but your friendship with amanda and @/likegoldintheair is so cute and whenever you guys post about each other i always find myself smiling at how sweet your interactions are. you’re just a person who always brings a smile to my face when i see you on the dash and i want to thank you for that 💗

@paintingformike hi!! i've said this before but i really do think you've always been The strongest soldier in the byler fandom (like, ngl your posts were Carrying byler tumblr for a while there while everyone was still in their debating-over-s5-canon phase). you've always been so levelheaded and astute with your observations, and i've always admired and respected how your posts make it seem so simple and So clear how all of the overarching themes of the show are leading to byler endgame. you've got an incredible way with words and i'm so glad to have you in our fandom 💞

-

and now for the creatives in this fandom - some incredible gifmakers whose beautiful sets have been the highlight of my dash, some wonderful writers who have ripped my heart out over and over again only to stitch it back together seamlessly just one paragraph later, and brilliant fan artists who are able to capture so much and make me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion with just a few brush strokes:

@sharpesjoy - em!! you're an absolute sweetheart and such a joy to see on my dash. all of your gifs are so gorgeous and so clearly infused with all of the love that you have for everything you watch and i've added several shows to my watchlist because your gifs have made me want to watch them so badly 💞

@heroeddiemunson - kai!! your creations are so beautiful and you have this unique gifmaking style that i'm totally obsessed with!! your colorings and typography are always so pretty and i Love how special and creative your sets are, especially the D&D character sheets. like.....i have no idea how u come up w all these incredible ideas but i'm so very glad u do bc my dash is better for it❣️

@kaliprasad - hi!! your blog is amazing and i'm so glad that i found it bc all your gifs are fantastic and i love them So much. i think your talent is insane tbh, that byers brothers set that you made for me a little while ago is still one of my favorite things i've seen on this whole site, and i love that you love them just as much as i do 🫂

@kingofscoops - no one, and i mean no one, does coloring like you!! all of your sets are so vibrant and bring so much life to my dash & i think the ST fandom is very lucky to have you ❤️

@aliecenthightower - emilia!! your gifs are stunning and i'm completely in love with your song lyric edits. they're all absolutely beautiful and i'm in awe of how perfect and emblematic the lyrics you choose are, like you just Get these characters, y'know?

@mayahawkins - MADDYYYYYYY you are So talented, and believe me when i say that your gifs have been the Biggest inspiration for my own gifmaking journey. all your sets are so pretty & i love everything you make - including your playlists which live rent free in my mind!! but as a reminder i also love following your blog for You and not just your gifs :) you're an incredibly sweet person and ur presence on my dash is utterly invaluable 💗

@padme-amidala - hi erika!! okay, calling you a gifmaker almost feels wrong because that word doesn't feel like enough to encompass how beautiful your work is...all ur ideas are So amazing and you have such a natural eye for color and detail!! it is so clear that you pour so much love into all of your creations, and if i'm being honest, one of the reasons why i am so grateful to be a byler shipper is so that i can appreciate your craft to the fullest. and you're also Such a genuinely kind person that i always look forward to seeing on the dash!! thank you for being so lovely!!

@wiseatom - hi thea!! your writing is the ultimate definition of comfort. when i read ur work, no matter what i'm doing physically, mentally i am in my cozy bed with the fireplace crackling in the corner, surrounded by twinkly lights and warm blankets, sipping hot cocoa bc that is the kind of emotion ur writing invokes ✨

@byeler - irene!! your fics were my introduction to the world of byler fics and i admire you and your writing so very much 💞 i don't know how it's possible for one person to have this much skill and talent, but you do, and i'm so grateful that you've chosen to share it with us. eagerly waiting on a new heavy hopes chapter was one of the highlights of my fandom experience and that fic is a piece of writing that i will always come back to over and over again 🫶

@astrobei - suni i have been reading fics for over a decade now and i have still never encountered a writer that does emotion quite like you do, devastating me with every single fic you put out. i promise i mean this in the best way possible but you're So damn good at capturing all of that heartbreak and pain and inflicting the same agony on your readers, and it would have killed me by now if not for the fact that you're equally good at writing the sweetest fluff that has me melting into a puddle whenever i read 🫂

@hopelessromanfic - lyssaaaa!!! i've been Such a huge fan of landslide ever since you started writing it - it's one of my all time favorite fics in the fandom and i'm obsessed with the storyline and your characterization in all of your fics 😍

@artistaquinterob - hi!! your art style is so ADORABLE and your use of color in your work is stunning and i just adore everything you draw, especially your will and el art and your jargyle art 🥹

@junkoandthediamonds - your character studies are beautiful and i'm obsessed with your byler comics, your gifs and your ST x DC crossovers!!! i love your realistic style so So much and if i worked for the duffers i would 1000000% hire you to draw the official comics because i can't get enough of your work 🥰

@livsmessydoodles - fun fact: last year, when HSMTMTS s3 was airing, i remember seeing your rina art throughout the season and immediately fell in love with your style and your interpretation of the characters, and the same exact thing happened when i saw your ST work, and it wasn't until you followed me that i put the pieces together and realized that you were the same person 😅 your style is So gorgeous and your art just makes me so happy, and trust me when i say that i am mentally wallpapering all of your work to the inside of my brain so i can look at it forever❣️

and of course, a very special shoutout to all of the people that i don't know too well but are still such a comfort to have on tumblr: @miwism @yearninginblue @kittykat940 @robinsnance @jesper-faheyss @bylersheart @usergabby @achingly-shy @wheelersboy @wontbyers @stbyers @will80sbyers @watpoetry @frodohaven 💝

+ to all my other mutuals: tumblr wouldn't let me link your profiles because of some ridiculous limit, but please know that i see all of you and i am hugging you through my screen rn. thank you!! 👍🏼

[georgieluz]

hello! when you get this, list some mutuals you love to see around and then ask someone else! spread the love!!

hello! sorry about the incredibly late reply, work has been hectic, but i can indeed throw some love and affection at my lovely mutuals!

first up: my best friend, favourite person, and overall saint of a human for putting up with all my ramblings, @footprintsinthesxnd! jess, i love you to bits and i'm so lucky to have you in my life! you're a ray of sunshine and a constant safe space in my life. you're so talented, and genuinely kind, and you deserve all the happiness in the world! thank you for being my friend <3 ily a lot!!!!

next we have @ep6bastogne! bel, you make me laugh on the daily.. like literally all the time.. and it's just so easy to talk with you, whether it's about something silly or serious, i just feel like you completely get me. i love our conversations and how similar we are! you and your big brain posts make my dashboard and it genuinely feels a lil bit empty when you're not around. you've got me lowkey crushing on hockey men i don't even know for no good reason but i love it!

@lamialamia bc we always have great conversations and i love how we can discuss everything about hbo war from in-depth meta all the way to the silliest stuff ever. whenever i'm watching something or posting about something it's always so fun to talk about it with you! i hope we have many more interesting conversations!

@theflyingfin you were one of the first people i started talking to when i first came back to tumblr and it really made me feel a lot more comfortable being back here and in the fandom! i love all our chats about andyeddie and f1 stuff and you're just an awesome person who makes my tumblr experience a lot better :)

@merriell-allesandro-shelton for always checking in on me (and everyone else in the fandom). you're such a fun and engaging presence here, and i feel like you bring a lot of people out of their shells, which in turn, makes them feel a lot more comfortable being more interactive in the fandom. you're such a caring friend and i love all the conversations we have and how open and honest we can be with each other! very glad we met and became friends!

@jump-wings and @yeahcurrahhe-e you guys were actually two of my first mutuals on this new account and i love seeing you both on my dash or in my interactions! it's kinda comforting if that makes sense? since you were here when i started this acc

@thewayisset you have such beautiful art!! and it makes me smile every single time i see it on my dashboard!!

some more people i love to see on my dash and whose posts i pretty much adore reading regardless of the topic: @hellofanidea @lewis-winters @jenkil @almost-a-class-act you guys itch a certain spot in my brain with your meta and headcanons that i really dig!

@cody-helix02 @mads-weasley @heystovepipeboys too, i love seeing your posts and i always feel happy seeing you guys pop up in my activity notifications!!

honestly, all of my mutuals are really special to me. if you're a mutual of mine, or even if we just talk on posts outside of following each other, please consider yourself loved and appreciated!

[cursedvibes]

For someone who have not finished Haikyuu, you're spot on! Yes, at the end Hinata and few others did go to the nationals and internationals competitions...

So, because you're not big fan of Haikyuu, can I ask your honest opinion? Why do you think there are so many fans of m/m shippers of that fandom? Even the mangaka said : "I did not see that coming" for how many (all over the world) the shippers will be. And do you think Haikyuu is "too gay"? My male friend who watched it said to me, "Why there are so many gays here?" (Personally, as a fan of Haikyuu, even I don't think so...)

My friend who asked me to watch it said, "Once you started, it's impossible to not have at least a have favorite quote/scene and to ship 2 people together from the series." I laughed because I'm not really a shipper and don't moved easily by a story (especially sports series). But I was wrong! I cried a little when remembered a certain moments and now I have 3 favorite ships from Haikyuu!

Sorry for my ramble, see I read JJK because of you. Love your metas, I understand more about the characters thanks to you!

I'm glad you like the little jjk posts I put on here and that it even improved your reading experience of the series 😊

The abundance of m/m ships in Haikyuu isn't really surprising, they are common in most sports shonen. Just look at the Slam Dunk or Kuroko no Basket fandoms. Really, any sports fandom counts. People have been noticing the homoerotic nature of gender segregated sports for ages, particularly when it comes to team sports and/or ones involving an opponent. You got tropes of rivalry, competition firing up body and spirit, wanting to beat another person physically or figuratively, mix of ambition and camaraderie. And of course often a lot of bodily contact. I've seen the internet get horny over an athlete getting first aid during the Olympics (quite weird imo honestly, I mean that is a real human being in pain, likely with affects on their performance and carrier and people turn it into shipping fodder or make it about their favourite fictional characters). So Haikyuu isn't the first and won't be the last sports anime with a large yaoi fanbase.

As for my personal feelings on it, yeah I didn't really see much gayness in there tbh, but I'm also not very invested in shipping. The material is there if you want to smash your faves together, but that wasn't something I was concerned with while watching. I watch sports anime to feel passionate about the sport, the strategies, the outcome of a game, interpersonal relationships aren't my main focus. Like, I don't remember anything that's "undeniably gay", but at the same time, if you want to, you can read all kinds of subtext into those friendships and rivalries.

[charcubed]

A lot of people refer to Cas as "gay," which I think is awesome and everything. But I personally always considered him more as "queer" for a number of reasons, such as:

angel genders and vessels are very fluid. Would he still be considered "gay" if he were in a female vessel, and in love with Dean? Also, there are several times in the series where Cas appears to be attracted to women (some ppl don't consider these moments valid for Reasons™ which is fine. But I do.) He also seems, in my opinion, to only be romantically interested in Dean, and I think this would be true if Dean were female. So that would make Cas closer to demi.

Point is, I recently saw a post on sm that was like "reminder: Cas is GAY. He's not bi, pan, or unlabeled, he's gay and that's not negotiable."

I consider myself queer and a huge Cas fan, so it was weird to see my interpretation of a character I know really well and relate to just be invalidated like that.

And I just kind of wanted you opinion, cuz I know like in Dean's case, seeing him as anything other than bi is pretty clearly against canon.

But is the same true for Cas? Is it wrong to see him as an umbrella "queer?" I know Misha calls him gay, which I love and respect, but I don't really let my interpretations be dictated by actor opinions. I feel like canon supports a much more fluid interpretation of Cas, but I'm just wondering if I'm wrong for that, in terms of what canon supports.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. Thanks for your thoughts in this fandom I love them

Hi!! Thank you for the nice words and for wanting to know my thoughts on this. I appreciate you :)

Sorry it took me over a week to finish this. I kind of started it, realized it was probably gonna be longer than I’d expected, and then added to it in pieces when off work so as not to half-ass it.

Also, I want you to know that I think you absolutely rock for this message. The fact that you have a strong personal interpretation or strong feelings about what your view of Cas' sexuality means to you, while being open to hearing arguments for what canon supports, is exactly the kind of nuance too many people in fandom lack. Huge fuckin shout out to you, anon, because this takes both guts and brain cells!

I have two primary threads of thought I'm going to address here, as well as how they criss-cross:

I agree that Cas' canon sexuality is a slightly different topic than Dean's canon sexuality. Dean's bisexuality is not unclear/unambiguous, and there's no wiggle room there; he's frequently attracted to women, he's frequently attracted to men, there's bi lighting, it's all not rocket science. Cas is a bit more ~ambiguously queer~, so advocating for fandom maintaining a unanimous hard stance on his canon sexuality is... a little trickier. In that vein, the "reminder" post you mentioned seeing feels too intense in my opinion for the nature of this particular conversation/topic.

That being said: from an analytical standpoint, I do think the strongest argument to be made based on canon is that Cas is gay and demi.

Since you seem open to it and asked for my thoughts overall, I'm gonna break down point 2 before circling back to point 1. Quick reminder/disclaimer that I'm not trying to invalidate you or your personal connection to Cas with anything I'm about to say, so please keep that in mind <3

You mentioned how some people don't consider Cas' moments of being attracted to women as ~being valid~ and said you disagree. That's fair! At the same time... in a nuanced fashion, that's where I land on it. I also think the show took care to ultimately build to and portray a full picture with all of that factored in, and to talk about that I kinda gotta go into detail here, because it's one part of a bigger piece. I’m not trying to turn this into a comprehensive meta deep dive, so I’m going to talk about this in a sort of summarized way but not go too far into breaking down any one point or analyzing any one scene. Hope that’s cool.

Let’s look at Cas’ biggest “moments,” as it were, with women. Or the ones I would guess people intend to reference.

First up: there’s Meg. We’ve got the “pizza man" season 6 kiss, the season 7 arc of Meg watching over Cas during his mental break, and season 8 when Meg sacrifices herself.

The season 6 "pizza man" kiss, to me, really plays into the overall mood of Cas' curiosity as he explores and tries to understand human behavior. He watched porn and was intrigued/confused/aroused, Meg kissed him partially to get at his angel blade (not a euphemism lmao), and then his curiosity kicked in so he kissed her more thoroughly because the opportunity was there. Those scenes are all connected, and he doesn’t have much of a reaction after the kiss. Then, season 7 is a whole suitcase to unpack, but… the bottom line there is that Meg treated Cas with decency when he was vulnerable in every sense of the word. And then in season 8, Cas undeniably had a fondness for Meg by the end, and they were friends... but I don't read it as him having an attraction to her or romantic feelings for her. I do not mean this as shade or hate to anyone who ships them, but my reading on that dynamic overall is that I do think Meg felt something for Cas in terms of both attraction and feelings; and while that makes it all a bittersweet tragedy, it also doesn't mean things were reciprocally non-platonic. She was into him, but he seemingly wasn’t into her in the same way. After Meg’s death, Cas also never asks about her or mentions her or has any reaction at all to her being gone–something that would have been very easy for them to incorporate with even one mention if they'd wanted to or considered it foundational. (For example, mentions of Dean's relationship with Benny are recurring throughout the show, lending its non-platonic nature and its significance for establishing bi Dean even more weight.) Season 8 Megstiel content is also placed narratively right up against the Destiel content, and the contrast of that is–of course–pretty stark. That was likely deliberate. Cas’ feelings for Dean are unavoidably, unmistakably at the forefront.

Then you've got season 9. A newly human Cas–who was given the heteronormative suggestion by Metatron to "Find a wife. Make babies."–gets seduced then killed by April, all of which is traumatizing dubious consent galore. Then you’ve got Cas thinking he's being asked out on a date by a woman in 9x06 as he’s trying to figure out his life as a human. He even says this explicitly to Dean: “Going on dates… that's something humans do, right?” He is doing what he thinks he’s meant to be doing as a human, but is that action based in genuine desire? That line implies the answer being no. Contextually this is, of course, set against the jilted lover vibes he has with Dean in that episode. And then in the season at large, Cas becomes focused on his overall mission–a search for purpose, which (as Metatron helpfully points out later) becomes oriented around saving Dean.

Season 10 is up next. Hannah is very clearly interested in Cas, but Cas is a giant question mark in the face of all of her interest pretty consistently. In all honesty, the way Hannah comes onto Cas—the construction of the scenes—feels like it was intended to show that Cas isn’t interested in women. Half the time he doesn’t clock her vibes, and the other half the time he awkwardly avoids acknowledging it. This culminates in her standing in front of him naked in the clearest signal she can give… and as he says, he’s ~not bothered~ by it. He’s just... well, he's gay. Lmfao. And speaking of the naked Hannah scene in 10x07, something I personally find highly amusing is that that naked scene is immediately followed by Dean enthusiastically making out with a woman. It’s a smash cut with a very pointed contrast, in my opinion! I was very struck by it.

So that's my mini tour (with imperfect recall) of Cas' Moments With Women in the story and how I feel they're positioned.

And to touch upon the idea of contrast a bit further… With Dean, there are ample moments and instances where he canonically expresses (joyful or uncomplicated) sexual attraction to women, and/or romantic love for women throughout the show. This is why his canonical attraction to women should never be in question, as part of his bisexuality. But with Cas... I don’t personally feel we have a scene of his where we can unequivocally say the same. There are always story elements at play that indicate complex motivation, or when a woman (or woman-shaped being? lol) may be interested in him there doesn’t seem to be genuine reciprocal interest on his part. The absence of a clear scene establishing he’s unequivocally attracted to women doesn’t mean he couldn’t hypothetically be… but there are no significant moments that convince me that that’s the case in canon. Instead, I think the picture these layered moments paint of Cas and his sexuality is solidified as the story progress–as part of how his sense of self solidifies and emerges story-wide in kind. By that I mean: the shades of how he reacts to Hannah are there in his reactions to Meg’s interest years prior, but in season 10 they feel more clear because by that point he understands himself better (especially after his time as a human) and has formulated his identity as a person more than he had, for example, in season 6.

The secondary part of this though is the queercoding attached to Cas–which is, by and large, gay coding. (There is also more contrast here in comparison to Dean's bi coding in that regard.) By “gay” coding, I mean… Dean describes Cas as having "sensible shoes,” which is gay slang/code, though more commonly used in reference to lesbians. Cas uses female pop artists for his aliases, which is a wink/nod to stereotypes of gay men—a pattern that’s established in later seasons concurrently to the Destiel narrative taking even deeper root. The specific micro-agressions (and outright aggressions) Cas is subjected to by others—as he's clocked as being an outsider who doesn't fit and for being in love with Dean, in ways that are often tangled together—are traditionally gay story devices at play. And I'm also fond of the seeming significance of Cas' conversation with Pastor Joe in 15x15. Cas asks the Pastor what he means by people of "all backgrounds," being welcomed, and the Pastor says, "Connor didn't have to live in fear of who he was. A gay man who believed in a tolerant God." And Cas says, "Well, I imagine not everyone was happy with the change."

In terms of why I say he’s also demi… Cas is seemingly never ~interested~ in anyone but Dean. Now, part of that is of course a byproduct of the storytelling structures he's given. But nonetheless, his singleminded focus on / interest in / devotion to Dean feels unwavering in its totality. Even as Dean stops looking to date other people in later seasons because he knows he’s fallen in love with Cas, there’s still references to or nods to his attraction to men and women as a significant part of who he is. But unless I’m forgetting things, Cas just… doesn’t really seem to have that embedded into his character. He's got an emotional attachment to (and "profound bond" with) Dean, and his attraction to and love for Dean is part of its natural extension. That’s where the demi reading comes in for me, but it’s certainly a side note / asterisk to him being gay, which I think is the prime part of his identity the text deliberately points towards overall.

Regarding Cas' gender and how that may affect any part of this discussion... Is Cas non-binary? Well, in the show overall, angels are obviously considered ~celestial wavelengths of intent~. We see the fluidity of angels in different gendered vessels, and one could say the angels' primary gender is sort of "genderless" as default. Sure. But... at minimum, I feel it's implied that Cas comes to feel at home in a male vessel's body, and in what has legitimately become his body. As Dean says, "It's not an 'it,' Sam. It's Cas." And ultimately, I feel the gender question is not really a huge part of the point in regards to how canon presents this queer story to us.

To the question of if Cas would still be "gay" if he was in a female vessel and fell in love with Dean–or even to a question of "what if Dean was a woman" I've seen plenty of other people pose in various contexts–I think it's almost like... a moot point. The homoeroticism of Dean and Cas' dynamic is significant in a multilayered way, and that was true from day one. Their dynamic is very much affected by and built on them being 2 masculine men (or Cas being perceived as a "man" if you want to go that route), both in story and out of it, particularly in Dean's reactions to Cas. And the romance, tension, push-and-pull, miscommunication, coding, and censorship–the latter being a thing that shaped story choices over the years–all exist in a specific way because their relationship is undeniably, visibly queer. Destiel as we know it could not and would not be the same if one of them was in a perceived woman's body. Their interactions would have been vastly different, and thus in my head it's impossible to conceptualize.

Supernatural is also very much a story about the deconstruction of toxic masculinity while maintaining masculinity through a queer lens. This is its own separate topic that I actually have been wanting to make a post about for awhile now (in part because over-feminization of their characters in fandom, especially in ways that lead to apply ill-fitting repression narratives to Dean's canon, can miss several points about this). Those masculinity themes are so centralized because of Dean and Cas' romance and the fact that they are two men. There is significance there, both historically and culturally.

So while maybe Cas would or could identify as non-binary... It doesn't seem like a viewpoint he is particularly aligned with, and it also doesn't feel like a significant element at play in this queer love story. That makes me tip towards saying it's not a huge factor in discussions of exact readings or terminology for Cas' canonical sexuality/identity.

As a side note: to a certain extent, I also find it interesting to contemplate how some of their miscommunication in-narrative maybe extends into the idea that Dean is attracted to women and Cas seems not to be. More than once, Dean tries to bond with Cas through ~typical male~ interests, such as when he takes him to a strip club. Dean being bi doesn't mean he avoids having heteronormativity on the brain lol, and that sort of thing in his experience is usually quick-and-easy guy bonding time, especially in hunting culture. But while Cas learns how to be human in a metaphorical sense from the Winchesters' examples in several ways (both the good and the bad habits/lessons), something he can't/doesn't pick up is attraction to women or how to act on or express that sort of attraction, because it just doesn't seem innate to him. So while Dean and Cas are certainly both queer, to me they exhibit different forms of queer experiences (bi and gay) in characteristics and in story and in coding that add a layer to their dynamic. It's a little bit of a difference between them that they maybe don't know how to awkwardly address with each other, because they often don't fucking communicate, and I can see it contributing to Dean wondering if / how much Cas has capacity to "feel that way"... making him think Cas maybe doesn't reciprocate his desire. Because they're both stupid.

Anyway! Anyway.

Back to the main points:

Let me summarize.

I personally don't think Cas is attracted to women, and that the story points to him going through a journey of learning that about himself as he grows into himself over time. The queercoding in connection to him, such as it is, also rings of being gay coding. Considering we see him primarily or solely so strongly interested in Dean, an argument/hypothesis for him being demi doesn't feel off the mark. And I don't think the question of angelic gender is super relevant to what canon points to in this discussion for Cas specifically, because I do think the m/m nature of Destiel is relevant to their story and dynamic with each other, and by later seasons at minimum Cas is seemingly comfortably "a man" (perhaps even more so than an ambiguously gendered Being).

Is there a stronger or more persuasive argument to be made about the specifics of Cas' sexuality in canon? I'd be open to hearing it, of course, but I just kind of doubt any other argument would be convincing enough to change my mind when factoring in all of the story elements at play.

However. All of this being said:

I would certainly not call an umbrella use of the word "queer" wrong for Cas. I think it is, in fact, very applicable! For one thing, the word "queer" in this instance effectively encompasses a combined gay and demi reading, as an example. For another thing, it's an understandable hat tip that simplifies his various complexities as an angel. It works.

I'm also not die-on-this-hill militant about the use of the word "gay" for Cas because I'm cognizant of how things are not 100% clearcut with him. I do not say this to negate my own analysis, but rather because I can acknowledge the truth of this particular situation. While I do think the above full picture kind of adds up to him being specifically gay, this is an instance where there is room for nuance within it and giving grace to–dare I say it–"interpretations." I personally don't really agree with or particularly feel comfortable considering him bi or pan specifically, given all the factors at play; but it doesn't overtly upset me that others do. For example, he did indeed have sex with April as a human, and I find I can't get mad at people who choose to take his interest in that moment 100% at face value, especially considering the fact that what I view to be his overall "gay arc" certainly has subtlety and room for subjectivity in it.

In conclusion,

I don't know if this post answers all your questions, anon. I don't know if it will help you or make you feel bad for some reason, though I certainly hope it's the former rather than the later! And I apologize for the length, but you touched on a lot of different branches in your message, and I'm nothing if not someone who maps out a whole fucking tree when asked to lmfaaaoooo.

Thank you for your patience as this post took me WAY too long to complete smh. Like what the hell, truly. You're a star, I love ya, and for what little it's worth I do infer that lots of people in fandom (perhaps even Misha) use "gay" as an umbrella word in reference to Cas. (I am sympathetic to your plight if that makes you feel weird though; it's not the same situation by any means, but I will share that I'm suspicious of people who call Dean "gay" even flippantly at this point, because nowadays I don't trust that shit lmao)

Send me thoughts and prayers because the "e" key on my laptop's keyboard has started periodically sticking and it's been driving me insane while working on writing this.

[savidem]

𝑃𝑈𝑅𝐼𝐹𝐼𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁 𝐼𝑁 𝑃𝑅𝑂𝐺𝑅𝐸𝑆𝑆 ...

#𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌 ... an independent roleplay blog dedicated to 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 from 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓'𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅. dark themes may apply. reader's discretion is advised. in character posts will be written in a 1st person point of view. slight religious metaphors present.

A STUDY IN ... omnipotence . control . purification . judgement . divine duty . self-righteousness . biting the hand that feeds .

assigned to hari .

this blog is PRIVATE and MUTUALS ONLY. i only follow back certain people -- i don't like a cluttered dash board. sorry in advanced if i end up softblocking you.

i don't do follow for follow. if we're mutuals, i want to interact ! if we don't interact for a certain amount of time, then i'll softblock.

you're more than welcome to block me at any time. it doesn't bother me.

anon is a privilege, not a right. if there's any funny business, i will turn it off. also please don't use it to advertise your rp blog. i'm not interested, and those kind of asks will be deleted. any repeated offenders will be blocked.

ocs and other fandoms are welcomed ! please just don't push anything meta breaking towards me.

don't use me as a resource blog ! please reblog from the source.

not interested in any drama. please keep it away from me. any anon hate will be sent to the void ( deleted ).

most of all HAVE FUN ! we're all here for a good time, not a long time !

[fratricideknight]

ughhhh my dash is so filled with dean crit and dean hate and has been for a while and i feel really bad bc i genuinely Love him... (i'm not asking anyone to change what they post, btw, it's your blog and i'm the one following you.) atp i just feel... yes, he's fucked up many times, and i love meta, which sometimes involves taking a hard look at dean's actions, but it's part of what makes him a complex character - can we please focus on something else? (i get that ppl are tired of dean's transgressions being swept under the rug and justified by both the show and the fandom, and i'm annoyed by it, too, but being angry is exhausting as well.) i keep reblogging all this dean crit and i really don't want my followers to mistakenly think that i hate him bc i really, really don't. his toxic traits make him incredibly sexy (in a fictional kind of way)

i just. i've found it really hard to find blogs which like canon dean and don't hate sam, and don't post about something i'm just really not into (e.g. certain ships or mostly ship content, nsfw). i'm sorry to ask this, but does anyone have any recommendations? of dean-leaning bibro blogs, say? and any other blogs which fit the description? i'm gonna turn on anon asks temporarily pls recommend yourself <3

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

uh as someone who is in svsss fandom; not sure what that other person was talking about in terms of everyone “glossing over” how it ends. people know it’s bad. that’s... kind of the point, both of the entire series and that scene. spoilers for that, and the rest of svsss though I’ve done my best to keep everything vague, but you can choose to disregard this and I wouldn’t fault you for this. tl:dr svsss is definitely not for everyone and if this isn’t your thing, probably not for you. sorry in advance for the essay. it is an absolute train wreck, which is kind of the point.

that scene involves sex. that scene involves one person withdrawing consent. that scene continues despite the withdrawal of consent, and mind you it’s not what most people would call erotic by any definition.

this book is a horror that gets masked by the comedy from an unreliable narrator; what if you got isekai’d into the absolute worst of the worst online web novel, that is just porn and a revenge catharsis male power fantasy, what if you were stuck there? what if you were stuck in the role of a character created to be the source of misery, a character who actually has to suffer that horrifying punishment that is inflicted by the protagonist of this revenge fantasy by the end if you fail to change a story that’s already been written?

it’s a terrible world to be sent to because the book is deconstructing that entire genre that honestly I don’t think exists to the same extent in english, it’s a genre that is made to sell chapters via exactly that; a revenge catharsis story built on male power fantasy, with flimsy justification for porn at every turn. so this terrible situation to be in ends like that; with god awful porn tropes everywhere, of course the world ending and trying to avoid it involves sex that, if anyone involved with was real, would be horrifying.

the main romance is, as has been joked about, a solid red flag finding solace in another solid red flag. they’re both doing terribly mental health wise without much prospect of getting better but considering the circumstances it’s the healthiest dynamic they both could be in.

i’m not saying it’s a perfect story by any means, but I feel like people’s disdain for it often comes from the expectations. if you go into this with the expectation of it being like tgcf or mdzs you will be blindsided by all this, and it’s a lot to be suddenly exposed to without warning. personally I would absolutely not have enjoyed this as a romance primarily; but I still do enjoy it as a black comedy that hides the horror of what it’s deconstructing, and basically just happens to have an absolute trash fire romance in the background.

if you somehow got this far; thank you. if you don’t want to read svsss that’s fair, it really isn’t for everyone for various reasons. but if you’re willing to read it, reading it as a romance might not be for you. the protagonist and point of view for us is a very unreliable narrator and I’m not sure why entirely but this fact gets thrown out a lot when people get around to reading it.

I don't think it's necessarily unfair to say it gets glossed over at least in the sort of...idk, public-facing side of the fandom? Like I'm sure there's deeper discussions and meta and such going on within the fandom, but from the outside I've seen like 3-5 posts about the darker stuff and 100 cutesy memes of the curly haired guy being a whiny baby 😅

THAT SAID, I really like how you've broken down the premise here, and it is very interesting. I love SO MUCH about MDZS even though I don't like the sex, and I love MXTX's storytelling, so I could definitely be down to read some dark comedy-horror trope deconstruction from her. I do think that management of expectations is a big part of it: I daresay most people come into MXTX novels via MDZS or TGCF first, and both of those are certainly to large degree romances. So it kind of makes sense that then people head over to SVSSS expecting more of the same and get unpleasantly surprised. I appreciate both you and the other person I was talking to kind of breaking down the differences. I definitely do feel like, if/when I do read it, I'll be going in now with a much better sense of what to expect and how to interpret it. Thanks so much!

[bookmauls]

I can't not post an (affirmative) response to this. Sorry. It turned into a Maul rant. I'm leaving my opinions and some meta under the cut. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or poo-poo anyone's headcanons:

I'll never see Maul as someone who uses pet-names.

Kitten, BABYGIRL (UM, NO.)

I don't like Starlight.

Sorry.

I know a ton of people like "starlight" so I won't post in that tag, because I know a ton of people love that for Maul. But I just don't see it. Each to their own though! If Maul using pet names is for you, don't let me stop you!

A related but much worse fandom SIN is (what I believe) is OOC Maul.

One of the reasons I find Maul fan-fiction, especially the spicy stuff, hard to read is, sadly, the lack of clear character voice people give him. A lot of the time, people write him as a generic top/daddy dom or generic rich crime boss/ceo, and I nope out. Usually within the first paragraph.

I hate to say it, but I really wonder why people strip away Maul’s character and his own brand of darkness to make him an empty vessel for fic. I want to read about Maul. Please write Maul. He has a very distinct way of viewing himself and the galaxy, I think 70% of the job of writing Maul well is nailing his way of speaking and getting his internal monologue right.

Maul (thinks he) abhors softness. He (thinks he) will be fulfilled by religious genocide or vengeful murder, and control of the galaxy. Pre-TPM Maul (thinks he) doesn't need attachments as they're "distractions" from Master Sidious' Grand Design.

Maul is multifaceted.

He's bigoted, ruthless, hateful, callous, vain, concieted, prideful, and occasionally very stupid. As a young man, he excuses his master's abuse of him and kills or harms countless people for him. As an older man, he is bitter, even more vengeful, and hungry for power.

AND

He's fiercely loyal, oddly kind ( if you tilt your head, blur your vision, and squint). He's intelligent, resourceful, charismatic, witty, and observant. He craves everything he proclaims to hate or disregard. He needs what he pushes away.

He is Sisyphus, Oroboros, Hades, and the foil of Obi-wan. He is a young and old fool.

Please write that guy.

Reading fanfiction is so weird.

One second you'll be like "Yes! Amazing content of characters and a world that I care about! The writer's understanding of the source material is incredible!" The next second you'll be like "WTF??? No way Darth Maul would use the word 'babygirl'!"

Weird.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hi Lost! I'm pretty new to the snk and eruri fandom (about 3-4 months in), and I find it absolutely delightful to discover your tumblr! Thank you for your meta and analysis posts! (I haven't venture into the realms of fanfic in the fandom yet)

Sorry if you've answered similar question before, but the other day I watched an Arcane analysis video on yt about how the characters' parents/parental figures influence them, and I've been thinking about eruri in this regard. Like how Levi had a loving mother, and Kuchel's love & tender nature helped him to be kind and compassionate despite their struggles, but he was also influenced by Kenny, who struggles to show his compassion and has doubts about himself in raising a kid.

Then about Erwin who grew up in (I'm assuming) a very well-educated environment under his dad's care, he seems to be very logical, confident, and unshakable, but also have troubles to even acknowledge his emotions (like some stereotypical fathers?). Although it's probably caused by his character or mental health as well.

Something about the differences of kids who grow up with mothers, and who grow up with fathers?? Also, I kinda get the idea that they both admire each other because of this, like Erwin admires Levi's warmheartedness, and Levi admires Erwin who is visionary.

I def don't know anything about developmental psychology, and this rambling might have a lot of missed points, but what do you think?

Again, thank you for your blog!

Hello and welcome to the fandom!  I’m glad you’re enjoying the meta, Erwin and Levi have such a deep and nuanced relationship that there’s a wealth of commentary to explore. If you aren’t already following @tsuki-no-ura’s blog, I can highly recommend it, they’re still posting fascinating meta on a regular basis.  And just wait until you get on to the fic! This fandom has been blessed with so many hugely talented writers over the years. 

Anyway, in response to your query, “what do I think?”, I think I agree with every word you’ve said! There’s no question that both Erwin and Levi’s characters are influenced by their formative childhood experiences and their relationships with parental figures, both positive and negative.  I think it’s also true that, despite the loss they both suffered, that they did experience love, warmth and affection as children, otherwise I don’t think they’d have been able to forge such a balanced relationship with each other and with the people they care about.  It’s significant that despite their loss and the hardship they both endured, they never lost their faith in humanity; neither Erwin or Levi grew up to be driven by hatred and vengeance, unlike some other characters. I think that’s at least partially due to the love they experienced from their parents.  (That doesn’t always hold true of course.  There’s no doubt that Eren was loved by both Grisha and Carla, and look how he turned out.)

Levi is undoubtedly the more outwardly compassionate of the two.  Erwin himself acknowledges this in the Smartpass Erwin & Levi Up Close Interview where he waxes lyrical about Levi’s character to the interviewer.

Erwin: …Alright. Starting with Levi…I think he is excellent at shouldering important duties. With the title “Humanity’s Strongest” as part of the SC, our reputations have also been elevated. On the battlefield, he has also faithfully completed the tasks I have assigned to him. Despite his warmhearted nature, I’ve asked him to carry out some cruel missions…

Journalist: Is Captain Levi very…”warmhearted?"

Erwin: You’ve already interviewed his subordinates, right? Then you must have heard just how much they trust their captain.

Journalist: Indeed. I even heard the same thing from new recruits who are not from his squad.

Erwin: He just has a rude attitude…but he cherishes his comrades’ life more than anyone else. His reputation cannot be established based on strength alone, Humans can subconsciously detect how much concern others have for them… and when they notice this kindness, it inspires power…That is something that I can’t do.

It’s very easy to love Levi, and I think we can see that in the way other characters and fans respond to him.   Erwin is quite different. On a superficial level he appears to be the epitome of the cold, ruthless, military commander who will sacrifice anyone and anything to achieve his goal, but of course Erwin’s emotions run deep, concealed beneath complex and contradictory layers of guilt and self-loathing.  Once you get a glimpse of what lies beneath those layers, it’s impossible not to love and empathize with Erwin too.  Erwin’s seiyu, Ono Daisuke, expressed this contradiction beautifully:

“Erwin has so much emotion that it’s difficult for people to see it. The amplitude of his emotions is so great that to those around him it looks as if the needle isn’t moving at all.”

Sorry, I’ve strayed off topic a bit here, but I do certainty agree that Erwin and Levi’s characters are at least partially shaped by their relationships with their father and mother respectively.  I've written a couple of other posts in response to similar asks over the years if you're interested:

What was Erwin's mom like?

What would Levi's life look like if his mother was still alive?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I really enjoyed reading your ask.