#I'm so scared because singing in front of people is so scary and I'm so self conscious about my voice

[highdensityrabbitsituation]

sertraline day 1315: in a slightly insane and impulsive move. I signed up for voice lessons

[daenysx]

requesting for one 1k celebration (ik it's late and it's totally okay if you decide not to write it, congratulations on it anyway!!) but rockstar!reader with either fan or bodyguard!james??? idk, take this any way you want, i'm giving you the wheel

i loved this request so much and i tried my best so hopefully you'll enjoy!! thank you for requesting, love u♡ you can send james potter requests if you have one!

bodyguard!james potter x rockstar!reader, you and james can't keep your feelings secret anymore

brave enough

you like the hotel room but it's boring to spend all night in.

the concert was quite satisfying and it went smoothly. you know you're getting more and more popular each day; followed by paparazzi almost everywhere, interviewed by important channels that people talk about on twitter, having fan accounts on instagram. you feel a sense of joy and fear at the same time. it's scary to be famous but you enjoy sharing your songs with people, you like the way their eyes shine when you start singing. most of the time you think it's worth being a bit scared.

this is where your security team joins the picture. you are being protected by a team of bodyguards, they are silent but effective. sometimes you feel too important when you walk into a crowded space with the team covering everywhere but most of the time it doesn't feel normal. it feels so silly to be needing protection unlike a normal person. you should be past that. you should realize your position in this world as a famous rockstar and probably should be grateful to these people who never let anything bad happen to you.

shaking redundant thoughts away, you put on some comfy clothes, a pair of shorts and an oversized shirt. you only take your wallet and your phone before leaving the room, airpods tucked nicely in your pocket just in case. you check how you look on the mirror at the bathroom and the sight is just like you imagined, exhaustedly happy with a crooked smile and tired eyes.

you knock on the door across yours. you are sure james will open it in two seconds. he does that exactly but the sight in front of you makes you look at your shoes shyly without thinking- he's shirtless.

"hey." james says, casually. "something wrong?"

he's always asking that firstly, the head of your security team. he's huge, all muscles and tall, you have seen too many comments on instagram saying how hot he looks. well, he does. he really is good looking, you'd have to be blind to not realize it. he has lovely eyes and a big smile when he tries to be comforting, huge hands and a perfect chest. james potter is someone's dream guy, you are sure of it.

"no." you say, eyes still looking anywhere but him. "nothing, i just- i got bored, thought maybe we could go out. you can put on your shirt- if you want, i can wait."

james takes a step back to let you in. you follow his lead, the room smells like his cologne and hints of aftershave. it's making your legs shaky, you sit on the couch as he takes his shirt from the bed and puts it on.

"you wanna go out?" he asks with a gentle voice. things with him has always been this sweet, not like a regular boss-employee relationship. you know he cares about you, he's like a friend who's always been around, who you can always fall in love with if you ever take that dangerous step.

you nod at his question. he puts on his glasses and looks like himself again. "i wanted some fresh air, and i'm a bit hungry. maybe we can get chicken nuggets from the place in the corner?"

james thinks about it for a moment. it feels weird, like you're asking for his permission to go out but it's far from the truth. you need james's opinion before leaving a secure place because he knows the best. he knows the danger, the press, the paparazzi. if he says you should stay in, you probably should listen. still, you're hoping he'll say yes to going out with you.

"i'm sorry, sweetheart." he says. "i think we should stay at the hotel tonight."

"yeah?" you ask. you can't help but feel a bit upset, you are tired because of your busy schedule but you want to hang out sometimes. you want to be anywhere you want any time without worrying. it would be so nice, to be out with james, just eating and drinking. you could tell him all about your new album. you could tell stupid jokes to him, you could make him smile. now that your voice sounds sad, james flinches just a little bit. he comes to your side with a few short steps.

"i'm really sorry." he says. he kneels in front of you to make an eye contact. "you just had a show and i think it's better if we stay out of sight for now."

you nod, give him a smile to let him know it's okay. "i'll go back to my room then. you should get some rest, you've been working all night long."

you stand up to go but james is quicker. he holds your hand, your fingers go lax in his palm. he is on his feet again, looking at you with a promising pair of eyes.

"do you want to stay here? we can order chicken nuggets and sit in the balcony."

the idea is tempting but you really don't want to waste james's resting time. "it's okay, james. you probably should get some sleep before we leave tomorrow morning."

"sweetheart." he says, his voice is so soft you could crumble under it. "please. would you like to spend some time with me?"

you nod this time, how could you resist his sweet voice? james orders take out as you go sit in the balcony, the night air is chill and you can see a few stars. it's quiet and nice, you close your eyes to the breeze you feel on your skin.

james comes in, wearing a hoodie. he has one in his hand too, he gives you the hoodie, hoping you'll accept. you take it, thanking him silently before wearing it. he sits next to you, comfortable silence fills the air as you wait for food. you look so pretty in the hoodie, james almost doesn't hear the knock on the door. he is quick to leave the balcony, shaking his head as if he's trying to stop thinking something he shouldn't.

he comes back with the food and two huge paper cups of iced tea. you help him settle the paper bags down on the little table, he ordered nuggets and different kinds of sauces he's sure you like. you take a sip from your drink, coldness of it gives a relief to your throat. james does the same, you both start eating silently.

maybe it'd be uncomfortable if it were someone else, just sitting and eating without saying much but this is james you are here with. no matter what the situation is his presence is always comforting and warm. you adore how cool he is, how kind.

"so," you start, breaking the silence. "did you enjoy the show tonight?"

james smiles. "of course i did. you know your way around that stage, you know? i always enjoy seeing you sing."

"thank you, james." you say with a soft voice.

"you are-" he starts, "you really are something else."

you stop drinking for a second to see his eyes. he sounds like he's confessing a big secret but it's not the first time james has complimented you, so you are not sure why his voice comes out like that.

"jamie?"

"everything stops when you sing, when you dance on the stage like you always do. i see people's faces, how they admire you, how they follow your every step. my face must look like theirs i believe, just- like your biggest fan."

you give him the loveliest smile you can manage, how dare he says such a beautiful thing? he smiles back, it's full of admiration and pride. he's proud of you, you realize. he's always been around, always been there for you. he's been fierce and brave, faced every little thing that bothered you like the strong man he is. your chest fills with something you can't identify.

"well," you wander around the words. "you're my favorite fan and that puts you in the most special place."

james chuckles, you are losing your mind. you forget everything for a second, who you are and who he is.

"james, i-"

"angel." he says. "it's okay."

he has no right to do that. he has no right to make your heart beat faster and say that it's okay. you feel like you should do something, say something to end this misery. you both stop eating, the wind passes through your hair. james still looks at you with an undeniable affection.

"i'm not trying to mess with your mind, i promise." he says quietly. "but i'm not strong enough to keep everything in me, i just- i'm sorry if i'm making you uncomfortable."

"no, no, of course you're not." you say quickly. "it's just- i don't want to be delusional, james. i don't want to imagine things."

james reaches for your hand. the short distance between you disappears as he leans for your cheek. he gives you the softest kiss, you can't breathe when he does that. he leans back into his chair, your hand still in his hand.

"you're not imagining things." he says. "i don't know if i should be brave enough to tell you something i can't take back."

your fingers move a bit, but james doesn't let go. "you should." you say, firmer than ever. "you should be brave. i believe it's in the job description."

he pulls your hand to himself, makes you stand up and fall back to his lap. your heartbeat goes faster, he holds you gently.

"i'm mad for you." he says, looking deep into your eyes. "i'm willing to take any risk if you want me to. i'd do anything to protect you, and it's not only because i'm your bodyguard."

you settle down on his lap, holding one of his hands and stroking his knuckles. "can i kiss you?" you ask, not too shy but a bit hesitant.

james nods, and he cups your cheek. his thumb rubs your jawline, you cover his lips with yours. the kiss is better than you imagine, he is the only thing in your mind. suddenly, you feel how dangerous he is; you can write hundreds of songs about this kiss, about james. he has the power to invade your mind and he isn't shy about it. he is a fierce kisser, uses his hands and lips in a way that makes you melt.

his tongue meets yours and it's the best thing at that moment. james sucks your bottom lip, he doesn't break the kiss until you pull yourself back. you press small kisses on his cheeks, his sharp jaw is prominent under your mouth. he breathes faster, the tip of his nose rubbing on your cheek.

"what if someone sees us here?" you ask, playfully. his hand around your thigh tightens.

he pushes your hair back. "it's too dark here for anyone to recognize us. do you think i'd put you in that kind of situation?"

his tone matches yours. "i think you'll have to put me in that kind of situation eventually." you say, kissing his lips again. "i'm not worried, james. i like you too much to be worried."

"i'll protect you." he says, so serious and so lovely. "i won't let anybody hurt you."

"i know, baby." you say, and james visibly loves the word baby coming out of your lips.

he can only kiss you more after that. the night is long and it's full of promises, you are both so tired to think. it will be okay, you know that. it should be okay when he kisses you like this, like you are the most precious thing in the world. you kiss him back, trying to be brave enough for his heart. for now, it's good. james will make sure it'll be better.

[blossom-works]

"Only You and I Exist"

Inspired by the song "Exist" by Eric Nam. I went to his concert (House on a Hill tour) and I fell in love with this song.

For as long as Leon has known, he has always been alone. His family got themselves killed because they dabbled in crime, and everyone he got close with dies or goes their separate ways. Stability is foreign to him. Leon never voices this because he does not want to sound like a wimp. People have gone through the same shit he has, so who is he to complain?

Getting calls from the DSO and going somewhere in the world for an unknown amount of time is Leon's life. It has been since he saved Ashely in the remote, Spanish village. After completing a mission, Leon would either drown himself in alcohol or silence. Sometimes both. To himself, Leon is a speck of dust flying through the wind. No direction in life. Just lost in the neverending gust of wind.

Leon longed for stability. He longed for someone to pull him out of the life of uncertainty and pain. He wanted someone who could understand him. Leon wanted someone to ground him when the wind blew too hard...Then you came along.

You became Leon's anchor when the missions and responsibilities were about to push Leon over the edge. You two met on a DSO mission as partners. You know those scenes in movies or books where two people are at their lowest and they share their stores, and next thing you know they leave closer than before? Yeah, that happened to you and Leon. He wishes that you two met in better circumstances, but you told him that all that matters is what is in front of you.

You knew about the baggage Leon carries and he knows about yours. It was hard for the two of you to get over your trauma, still is. Leon was scared at how easy it was to love you. He knew what love was but something like this? So consuming? Is that what love is? If it is then Leon wants it to stay that way. He wants you to hold him when the wind blows too hard, and it is scary.

What if, like everyone else, you leave Leon alone? That the two of you were never meant to be so the world will eventually take you from him. A blip. Whenever Leon feels like this, you hold him in your hands and tell him, "We're in this together." Pulling him from his dark thoughts. You let him know that loving each other is worth the risk. When you two are together, you should forget about the unforgiving world outside and bask in each other's love.

So, here he is. At a concert that you wanted to go to because Leon did not want you to go alone. He knows that you can handle yourself, you have proven that more than once but it is Leon's job to protect you. In exchange for the love you give him, Leon will protect you with his life. When the artist starts to sing one specific song, it reminds Leon of you and your relationship.

You managed to get two floor tickets and you got to the venue a little late so you are standing on the outside of the crowd. Leon pulls you towards him, a few steps away from everyone, and holds you against him.

"Hold, hold me in your hands I'm just a speck of sand Lost in the wind 'Til I catch your drift Spinning me in circles, oh It's easy to dismiss As if we're just a blip Put it on the line Just for tonight Only you and I exist"

Dancing to lyrics, you and Leon are in your own world. No one else is in that venue but the two of you. So close Leon holds you and you can feel his heartbeat. Your bodies sway in small circles to the rhythm of the melody.

"Why do we fear what we could have When it gets good we always run away? Scared that wе might repeat the past Fallin' in lovе should never feel this way"

Leon refuses to go back to his way of life. The dark and unknowing life he lived. A mentally and physically draining life he lived. He was a fool to be scared to open himself to you, to let you hold his heart in your hands because you take so good care of it. You cradle his heart like a precious jewel. Leon knows that there will be times when either one of you will bury yourselves in the darkness again, but it is okay. You have each other. Love is scary but it is so worth it, Leon learned. The stability and intimate connection Leon has longed for is finally found, and he will never let you go. Not to anyone or the world itself.

"Only you and I exist"

[a-secret-inner-life]

I came across a lot of stuff that I could relate to about autism while researching for a paper, which led me to do more research on autism in general. I saw some other people doing this type of post on here, so: autistic people, can you please read my super long and detailed list of possible symptoms I experience and tell me if it seems like I'm one of you? I'm trying to be objective and reasonable and figure out what's going on with myself here.

Sensory Stuff

I like to stim–bouncing my legs, tapping my feet when I sit, occasionally swinging my legs or rocking. I also clench my fists or sit on my hands a lot and tap my fingers on things, or just fiddle with whatever is in front of me. Recently, I count while touching my thumb to each of my fingertips to calm down because someone in a book I read did that and it actually does help me. I also sing the alphabet song repeatedly when I'm working on my website.

Sometimes when I'm very tired or overwhelmed my face feels itchy and I feel like every strand of hair touching me prickles and itches and leaves a red spot (but it doesn't actually).

I have a strong hatred for perfume because it smells too strong and fakey, and citrus scents also drive me nuts, but I really like scented candles.

I'm a super picky eater, although I'm not as bad as when I was a kid. I don't mind the taste of tomatoes, peppers, or onions in things, but I'm still a little grossed out when I know I'm eating them, and the texture of onions freaks me right out, as an example.

I get startled easily. Loud noises don't actually scare me, they just jolt me out of whatever thought space I was in before I heard them.

I also get overwhelmed whenever someone tries to talk to me in a loud car (whether it's loud with other people or just the engine), and I find it overwhelming and incredibly difficult to concentrate when more than one person is talking at once. Whenever I'm in a crowd, it just sounds like this vague roar that gets louder the more I think about it, which can sometimes be overwhelming. Still, I'm good at tuning some things out in select circumstances, like the TV when it's on.

Finally, if I pay attention at pretty much any time when there isn't a ton of other noise, I can hear ringing in my ears. This isn't usually upsetting, and I know it's fairly common for anyone to get tinnitus from time to time, but I'm not sure if most people experience it this much.

Social Stuff

I can not handle eye contact.

I'm also really, really, comically bad at social interactions. I almost never speak to someone I don't know well before they speak to me, and my go-to conversation method is to laugh/giggle and nod, I literally can not make actual conversation to save my life. Sometimes I think of things to say but it doesn't occur to me to say them, or I try to but I'm scared and can't find an opening, or I do say the thing and people don't react the way I want them to (usually it's either confusion or disinterest).

Old ladies are my favorite people because they're the least scary somehow. I also love kids, but I'm still awkward so I rarely interact and probably still freak them out.

I'm horrible at keeping contact and I wait until I know people are offline to reply to their messages because conversation is stressful and I need time to think when I text. Group chats are a nightmare, so I pretty much ghost everyone when I'm in one.

I'm super attached to my family, though. I make an effort to create a deep bond with each of my siblings, and I'm the clingiest person in the world when it comes to my older sister.

I value people very deeply, which might be why I find them so intimidating. I love them and I want them to be happy, and I put too much pressure on the situation.

I used to hate being alone, and I still feel guilty or sad whenever I spend too much time by myself, although I actually love to be by myself, a lot of my hobbies and favorite places are solitary, and I usually prefer figuring things out on my own rather than having somebody right there trying to figure it out with me.

I'm incredibly empathetic. It's not like I can automatically sense people's emotions, but I do make an effort to pay attention and understand what they're feeling and why they feel that way. My siblings come and rant to me a lot, and I can be a good diplomat and see both points of view when they argue. I also care, and I always want to make people feel better, though it obviously doesn't always work. Sometimes I'm too empathetic, or maybe too creative, and I stress out about what someone might be feeling when I don't know if it's an actual issue or not.

Patterns and Stuff

I've always been good at remembering my parents’ phone numbers and our zip code, as well as my friends’ birthdays. I work at a grocery store where I find myself reciting the regular customers’ lottery numbers in my head as they're saying them to me.

My dad used to have a verbal checklist of what to bring to work each morning, and I still recite it every time I hear the words “wallet” and “keys” next to each other. Same goes for my old morning checklist that I don't even follow anymore.

I don't adhere to a strict routine in terms of the general structure of my day, but I definitely have a system or pattern for a lot of my specific activities.

Emotional Stuff

I've been obsessed with drawing and painting for as long as I can remember. I write all the time. I think I dedicated myself and a huge chunk of my life to my hobbies. If I like something, I like to think that I make it my own, and that thing permeates who I am.

When I first started listening to BTS, I scoured literally the entire Internet to find every possible hidden track any of the members ever touched, and there were A LOT. Lately I've been obsessed with Keeper of the Lost Cities, and I can't stop talking about the books. I'm also hyper fixated on Tomorrow X Together.

When I start something, I need to finish it, and I'll often think I'm so close to being done only to continue on it for several more hours, trying to hurry up and finish because I need to get it done now. I'm also pretty bad at switching tasks. I try to multitask, but it doesn't really work out.

I can easily forget about my own physical needs; particularly I don't usually realize when I'm hungry. Overall my needs are very flexible to the people around me; if you want to eat together, suddenly I'm hungry, if you don't feel like stopping, neither do I.

I'm a perfectionist, but I hate asking for help. This is especially true when it comes to my grades and my hobbies. I'm more comfortable when I can control the variables and nobody has to know if I fail.

I'm pretty sure I have executive dysfunction because I put so much pressure on doing things perfectly that I lose the motivation to do them at all, and as much as I need to get something done, I can't make myself do it.

Since I was little I've always been awkward and out of place. I feel like I take up too much space. Honestly, I feel like my existence is lame and embarrassing. I hate myself.

I absolutely suck at decision making, sometimes because I don't want to choose something that other people won't like and partially because I'm just really indecisive. Often I feel stuck or paralyzed because I can't choose one way or another.

Along those same lines, the responsibility of being told to do something for someone else is terrible, and I hate doing these things without incredibly specific instructions because I'm scared of messing up.

I also need to know exact details of whatever activity I'm doing before I do it, and I hate when something big isn't planned out in detail.

I used to have a lot of meltdowns as a child. I’d yell and cry and throw things when I was upset. This still happens sometimes, but not as frequently or as badly.

I feel guilty about everything, including mistakes from years ago that shouldn't matter anymore. This makes me feel sort of unworthy (?), like anything good I do is the bare minimum and if I cause a problem (through anxiety or executive dysfunction) that messes up a project, I feel like I have to do everything else perfectly to make up for it, although I usually end up feeling like I'm coddling myself instead.

I constantly compare myself to others. If someone else has a problem that's worse than what I deal with, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own negative feelings.

I feel like none of my feelings are valid. I feel and think all sorts of dramatic things that seem like the end of the world, but compared to others, my problems are small, and I feel stupid for having them. I almost wish I had a bigger issue or more dangerous mental problems that would make my responses more reasonable, but my logical side knows that this thinking is wrong.

I've been dealing with off and on burnout since I was around twelve years old (so about five years). I've been told over and over that my mindset is wrong and I need to do a million things better mentally to be less of a perfectionist, but I don't have the energy to put in any effort whatsoever to fix myself. I still get random bursts of motivation that last for short periods of time, though.

Sometimes when I go to bed after a stressful day, I wake up in the morning and I have this uncontrollable dread about starting my day. The thought of getting up sounds impossible, and it's almost like there's something sitting in my chest keeping me down.

[cityandking]

also 🎩🎤👻 for kol, petra and minah!

you spoil me <3 // miscellaneous symbol headcanons

🎩 - What would your muse wear to a formal event? Do they dress more modestly, or do they go all out?

KOL — as a kid, it's whatever her mother stuffs her into—I imagine a nice dress (which she's not allowed to run about in because it's very obvious when she gets the hems dusty) with lace trim and stockings and polished shoes with buckles and a smart coat or cloak. bows in her hair. as an adult, who's to say! we'll find out!

PETRA — depends on the event. most of the time she's in uniform (and in the bit of time between being discharged from the systems alliance and joining the andromeda initiative she's not being invited to any formal events so it hardly matters) but I imagine for the right kind of event she'd clean up nice in a dress. something long and backless, and she'd kinda be awkward and shrug off the compliments but enjoy getting fancy

MINAH — also depends on the event. she tends to air on the side of modesty, not for any personal compunctions but because it's better to blend in than stand out. she's also deeply uncomfortable with nobles and will double down on the whole blending in thing, and those have been the formal events the party has enjoyed(?) so far. that said, she really really does like getting dressed up.

🎤 - Can your muse sing well? Do they sing often? If they were to stand up in front of a crowd, would they be able to sing in front of all of those people?

KOL — I'm gonna say no. I think her skills lie in other directions. she could recite a poem without issue but music is not quite her strong suit

PETRA — she can sing okay. I think she has a narrow range but can sing well within it. she gets really into karaoke but would really rather not sing in front of a crowd

MINAH — excellent singer, sings often, great in front of a crowd. she's got that entertainer perk

👻 - How does your muse handle feeling scared? Do they enjoy horror? Do they believe in the paranormal? What calms your muse down? Do they have any scary stories?

KOL — I think she'd really enjoy the thrill of horror. the mystery would intrigue her; she's the kind of person who will be throwing up in horror and still trying to make sense of what's going on. real doesn't-know-when-to-quit energies. plus the puzzle and the search for a solution help ground her. unfortunately, she now believes in ghosts

PETRA — feeling scared is ok in controlled situations—a movie, a fun house, that sort of thing. she isn't a fan of being scared in the field, and she tends to fall back on protocol. better to be a little pedantic about things than accidentally shoot a squadmate because they moved too fast out of the corner of your eye. she doesn't believe in ghosts, but she's willing to be convinced

MINAH — minah exists in a state of low level fear most of the time, so in theory she's inoculated against it. in practice, exposure has done nothing and she is Not a fan and would do a lot to avoid fear unless she's in a situation where her fear is worth whatever she stands to gain. the tirashan was not a fun time. also: she really fucking hates ghosts. the dead should stay fucking dead.

[markantonys]

Do you think they'll start to get into the fear and hatred of the Dragon as a figure in s3? Cause right now that's one of the most glaring things that's missing from Rand's arc currently. And I worry they won't do it at all cause they introduced the idea that the Dragon could be a woman and since Saidar isn't Tainted there wouldn't be any reason to fear a female Dragon. They could frame it as whoever was LTT reborn would be feared just cause of what he did or the Dragon being feared regardless cause they signify the end of the Age. But if they don't introduce it at all I feel like it would be a mistake cause it's such an integral part of Rand's arc

i feel like i've gotten this question 1 Million Times already, so let me pose you a question right back: do you in the year 2023 spend every day of your life fretting about how scary achilles was and how destructive the trojan war was? no? then why do you expect the general population of randland to be constantly hung up on something that happened THREE THOUSAND years ago?

there has been no opportunity or reason to get into societal fear of the dragon in the first 2 seasons because no one has any CLUE that he's been reborn (bar the like 7 specific characters in the know, all of whom know rand personally and don't have reason to be afraid of him just yet). the figure of the dragon is SO FAR REMOVED from anyone's everyday life at this point in the story. LTT and the breaking are to them what the trojan war is to us - something that they know probably did really happen, but it was so fucking long ago and there have been so many stories spun about it since then that it feels more like myth than history. and it CERTAINLY doesn't feel like something they need to be concerned about in any way.

people have been whining that the show's making it out like only aes sedai hate/are scared of rand, but that is because they are the ONLY people so far for whom the dragon is a present and pressing reality. we will see wider societal reactions to the dragon once rand has been Public Dragon for more than "5 seconds in front of people who are just happy their city's not getting blown up anymore." (plus, it's safe to assume that Average Joes don't know or don't care about vague prophecies of the dragon being reborn, Someday, and causing more problems, in the same way that aes sedai know and care. Average Joes need concrete evidence that this is a current, real problem for them personally before they will start to get worried.)

at risk of sounding like a broken record from my 1 Million previous responses to this question, just because the show hasn't gotten to a certain Theme yet doesn't mean it never will. the early books were focused on rand's internal struggles with being a male channeler, and we did not start seeing much in terms of societal reactions to the figure of the dragon reborn until rand became Public Dragon starting in book 4. the show hasn't gotten there yet. relax. something isn't "missing" if it was barely a thing yet at this point in the books either. people really need to stop going IT'S MISSING when later-series things haven't yet appeared in the first 2 seasons. now, if we get to season 4 and everyone is holding hands and singing about how much they love the dragon reborn, then feel free to say "i told you so", but you know as well as i do that that is most certainly not going to happen.

also, the show suggesting that the dragon could be a woman is irrelevant. people don't go around every day saying "i'm so worried about 3000-year-old mythology repeating itself again Right Now, but oh! the dragon might be reborn a woman, so it might all be fine!" like no. NONE of this is on their radar WHATSOEVER at this time. and sure, IF they heard "the dragon has been reborn and it's a woman" then maybe they'd be less afraid. but that's not what they're going to hear, so it's irrelevant.

(besides, the mythology is that the dragon could save or break the world. a female channeler could turn to the dark and could break the world just as easily as a male one, even if she isn't affected by madness. or since last time the dragon was male and the dark one corrupted saidin, maybe this time if they were female then he'd corrupt saidar and the events of 3000 years ago would repeat. the show suggesting that the dragon could be a woman does not in any way lessen the inherent danger of the figure - in fact, the show implies even more strongly than the books do that the whole dragon-breaking-or-saving-the-world thing has happened infinite times. and maybe only 2 of those times had saidin madness as a factor.)

[esupurisupremacist]

[Street Gacha] Chapter 6

Written by 木野誠太郎

Ruka: U-uh... Erm... Thats impossible...

Suzu-senpai knows that I'm too nervous to sing in front of people, right?

So even if it doesn't match the image of "Fallen Angel," I think it would be better if Suzu-senpai sang it.

Suzu: Yeah, everyone knows that Ruka is anxious.

But, Ruka, this isn't just a matter of my emotional state.

However, you have a beautiful singing voice. It is perfect for ballads. My husky voice would spoil the image of the song.

That's why I can't sing the ballad you wrote. It matches your style, not mine.

Please sing. I want to hear your voice echo through the streets.

Ruka: B-but...

A~h... Alright...

Well, that's fine. It would be much quicker if we called out to the owner ourselves. If the song isn't sung, it won't reach the owner.

I was also disappoited at Kuromori-senpai. I thought she was a pretty charismatic, since she's called a "Fallen Angel," but she can't even motivate all her juniors.

Suzu: ...

Runa: That's sweet. Too sweet. In our company, we would make our juniors do it even if they said they didn't want to. Even if you have to be hated, your role as a senior is to provide proper guidance.

Suzu: We're different. The light music club, unlike the lacrosse club, is a special place for those who have become separated from the group.

If my heart becomes demonic as well, then those girls will no longer be able to belong anywhere.

Runa: That's what makes it "sweet". They pamper the members who can't perform on stage because of their light-stimulating condition,

That special place of yours... If the light music club disbands without ever having any activities, will you take responsibility for it? That's what I'm asking.

Suzu: That's true. But there are circumstances where that's not always the case. The kids on the lacrosse team are strong. They've been brought up to be strong. Honestly, I respect them.

But that approach doesn't suit the light music club. Forcing tests or rushing for answers won't produce good results.

No matter how much I am criticized for being unfit to be a club leader, I intend to watch over my team members and wait for them to make their own decision.

Ruka: S-Suzu-senpai...

I'll sing.

I hate seing someone insulting Suzu-senpai, but more than anything, I'm starting to hate myself for trying to run away from her, even though she has such high expectations of me.

I'll do my best, so I'd be happy if Suzu-senpai would support me...

Suzu: Yes. Ruka, my precious junior. I have no intention of making you sing alone and exposing you. I'm prepared to take all the dirt. Let me support you with all my might.

Ruka: Ah. ♪ It's reassuring...

Okay then. I need to work hard…!

I'll make you regret being so harsh on Suzu-senpai, lacrosse club member!

Runa: That's the spirit, little one named Ruka. It's time to show us yourself, girlie!

Ruka: Huh?! Um, why are you suddenly rooting for me?! Just a moment ago you were fighting against us!

Hayate: Ahaha. I was totally taken in by Hiiragi's provocation. ♪ Isn't she really good at making people do work?

Ruka: Uh, provocation..?

Mizuki: Yes. I think Hiiragi was motivated well because she doesn't want to get her hands dirty. ♪

When it came to abandoned cats, I was also almost forced to buy powdered milk.

Wait! Now that I think about it, I feel like all the trouble was forced on me because of the abandoned cat!

Runa: Hyahya, ♪ I think Futaba-senpai's memory is wrong~

Mizuki: Hmm. I'll curse you!

Runa: I don't believe in curses, so please feel free to do so~ ♪

Ruka: (I see. I had the wrong idea. But they are good people at heart, if they take care of a stray cat. They deliberately provoked me to take a step forward.)

(Although it's scary to be on stage alone, I have reliable seniors around me.)

(I was scared wanted to run away before, but now, I feel like I can sing in a relaxed manner. I think it's all thanks to my seniors and the kittens... ♪)

(Yes. Before i'll pick up guitar, I'll try singing a little.)

~ ♪ ~ ♪

(Hehe, i feel so happy... ♪)

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

In the eye of the beholder

“Why are you acting like you don't know?” Flare asks, sounding even more annoyed than usual.

“Like I don't know what?” Corin asks, aiming to walk out of the room and escape her words. She makes him nervous. Flame Troopers made him nervous from the first time he walked into combat with them. Even when they were supposed to be on their side, Troopers dying due to friendly fire, quite literally, was not uncommon. It wasn't that Flame Troopers took delight in killing their allies, they just didn't care if someone was between them and whatever they wanted to set on fire.

Flare moves, fast, and steps in front of him, blocking his escape. She's grinning, but not due to mirth. Usually Flame Troopers would only feel joy when something, or someone, was being devoured by their incinerators and she's probably no different. “You walking around pretending you don't know you're pretty, acting like you have no idea you're pretty, it's either because you are a complete idiot or you're just content to act like one. So which one is it?”

Corin clenches his jaw.  He does not like confrontations. He prefers to avoid them and any kind of argument if possible, but Flare is looking for a fight and she clearly won't back off until she has one. Fine. He'll take her on. Flame Troopers make him nervous, but they don't scare him. “How I look has never really mattered to me.” He holds her amused stare with a cold one of his own. “I have spent most of my life wearing that helmet we both know very well, and no one having a clue or caring how I looked. I was just a soldier. And the times when the helmet came off, yeah, there were those who called me 'pretty', and that meant one of two things: One, it was not meant as compliment. Two, it was an empty line that lead to nothing but a one night stand. I'm not special, I never was, I know that. There are people far better looking than me and there are those deemed by others as less 'pretty' due to personal taste, that's just a simple fact.”

Flare grins.“I'm sure Din would disagree. He really likes that face of yours.”

Corin's heart jumps and he feels heat rising in aforementioned face. “Yeah, well, I'm just lucky he does.”

Din is the only soul who has complimented Corin on his looks and made him believe it, made him feel good about himself. He might not agree with Din, a part of Corin won't allow himself to think he's above average on any area, but he believes that he is good looking in Din's eyes and that is all that matters to Corin. If his face meets Din's approval, Corin won't change a single thing about it.

“Based on this, I guess that makes you a complete idiot then, huh?” Flare declares.

“If that is the name for someone who doesn't care about their looks, I guess so.” Corin replies easily enough. “And that makes two of us, huh?”

Flare's eyes are beautiful, if you disregard the crazy in them. Her hair is thick and would have been a flattering frame to her face if not for the singed parts and the uneven bits cut off it. Her skin is probably lovely under the grease and soot. Her smile is scary but pretty as she acknowledges his reply. They both have more important things to care about instead of their looks.

This time, when Corin steps aside and moves by her to leave the room, Flare lets him. Corin cannot deny he feels a rush of relief as he walks away from her and her pyromaniac tendencies.

Walking down the hallway, Corin catches a glimpse of his reflection in a window as he passes by an open door to one of the common rooms and he sees nothing but the face and the body he's had with him his entire life. He hadn't been lying when he says he sees nothing worth looking twice at.

His father's only comment on Corin's looks as he was growing up had been resentful remarks about how much he looked like his mother. His grandmother had sneered that Corin looked too much like his father and that was definitely not meant as a compliment. As for his body, Uncle Vecon kept complaining about how Corin wasn't putting on muscle fast enough during training, and next to Paz Corin still feels like the scrawny kid he once was.

No, Corin's looks are not remarkable in any way.

Except to Din.

Corin smiles. That is more than enough for him.

[miru667]

*kicks the door down* GUESS WHO'S BACK LADIES

Ok ok ok ok first I have to tell you that I've had some real fun reading about your zombie AU. Not a fan of slashers, but this one is more focused on something different?? I dunno how to explain this, but the idea is pretty cool! I hope you're doing well there btw!!🌹🌹🌹

Now I've rewatched the lorax recently and wanted to discuss some things. I mean, there's a lot of stuff, so you don't have to answer them all! But here we are:

1. Any headcanons on the characters' phobias? I came up with this question watching that mini-movie with the Once-ler being terrified of the Lorax's shadow at night 🤔

2. Video games! What kind of games do the characters like to play if they do? Are they good at it? Do they complete the side quests or boost their stats? How much time do they spend playing?

3. A question for YOU: are you a part of any other fandom rather than the lorax? Or have you *ever* been such a big part of a fandom before?

4. Now that we've got this trend of texting someone that they forgot their phone at home... Out of the lorax characters, who would fall for this? And who would try this prank on somebody? Maybe both????

5. Do you think things would be different if the Once-ler planted two more trees after cutting one down or if he produced thneeds in a more limited quantity, making his product more rare and prestigious? I mean, there's gotta be a way he could save the business, right? I wonder if he could still be friends with the lorax and animals AND rule his company then🧐

6. Can Audrey sing?? Yes, she's voiced by a singer, but never sang in the movie, but do you think she sings at all?

7. It's believed that your sleeping position says a lot about your personality. For example, we've seen that the Once-ler sleeps in a fetal position, which can imply sensitivity and shyness, and a desire to protect oneself, people who sleep in this position are known to be tough on the outside, but big softies on the inside (and also my dude doesn't fit into the bed but who cares). So what about others? Any thoughts on their sleeping positions?

That's it for now i guess! Thanks for reading anyway and have a great daymorningnightobscurity💞💞💞

Woow so many things to answer! O_O Welcome back, idk if you mean my Audrey's zombie AU story when you say "your zombie AU" but the zombie AU in general is an open AU and doesn't belong to me! And then here are my answers to your questions:

I don't think I've thought about legit phobias for the canon characters...they can be scared of things because they're scary but it's not debilitating or completely irrational like a phobia would be.

It's probably just Ted playing video games and he's probably great at it. I bet he's a pokemon master, that's what I headcanon my own Ted OC being.

I'm only actively in the Lorax fandom! I like a lot of other things but I'm only a very casual art appreciator in "other fandoms" so I don't consider that being part of them.

I didn't even know that was a trend lol. The Once-ler would try this prank just to be a jerk. I don't know who would fall for it, maybe Ted for the first 2 seconds

Well of course if he had even a LITTLE bit of foresight then things would probably be different, but our beloved Oncie is very much a stubborn dumbass so...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'll answer this for my own Audrey OC: yes she can sing, not like taylor swift level or anything, but she's very musically inclined and learned piano from a young age. She's very shy about singing though and is only comfortable with it if she's comfortable with you, so that's why you didn't see her singing Let it Grow in public.

My Audrey used to sleep on her front because she'd do a lot of bedtime reading and fall asleep accidentally in that position. Ever since the zombie apocalypse though, she sleeps on her side while hugging something so she can feel safe and not alone.

[gwenbrightly]

Of Milk and Cookies Chapter 18

I'll be honest... It's been years since my last update. Life happened and a lot of my writing took a hit as a result. This story was never truly abandoned, just put aside for awhile, as much as I love this story. Anyway, I am so happy to finally have another chapter ready to share with the world. Hope you all enjoy!

"You have no idea how good it is to eat real food again," Nya declared through a mouthful of pizza. She was finally home after several days of being stuck in her hospital room. The doctors had been concerned about potential infections and had a hard time believing she would stay put if they released her sooner. It had taken a wide array of medical tests (and a lot of begging) to convince them to let her leave. Nya would have danced with glee if not for her stitches. Instead, she settled for a celebratory dinner from her favorite pizza place.

"I can only imagine," Lloyd commented. His own diet lately had been an odd mixture of fast food and local delicacies (some of which were…. Unique for lack of better words) depending on his location throughout the victory tour. He had politely declined her not so subtle attempts to get rid of her bowls of jello and mystery goop by getting someone else to eat them during more than one visit.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Nya," Jay told her, reaching for a slice of pepperoni. He had been extra protective of her since their mad dash to the hospital a few days earlier. Nya wasn't sure if she found it adorable or annoying.

"Yeah, don't scare us like that again." Kai added, earning him a vicious elbow jab from his sister. Nya ignored his yelp of pain.

"I'm fine, guys, really."

"If you're fine, I guess we should put back all the booby traps we found in your room, huh?" Cole offered teasingly. Several of the students of Wu's Academy had chosen to express their excitement at Nya's return by leaving little… surprises in her room.

"Nope. Definitely don't do that," Nya relented. She didn't have the energy to deal with frogs in her bed or whatever else the kids had come up with. "How did Sally and Megan even get in there?" Whoever else may have been involved, those two were almost always the ringleaders when it came to annoying Nya.

"It wouldn't surprise me if Brad taught them to pick locks," Lloyd offered with a shrug. As much as his friend had changed, Lloyd was sure he could still be a menace when he wanted to be.

"Eh. That tracks. I gotta say, I like that kid way better when he's focused on his gardening instead of causing chaos." Nya might find Brad annoying, but she had to admit he had done wonders with the school's flowerbeds.

"He has really been trying to turn over a new leaf lately. I'm proud of him," Stated Zane. The others nodded in agreement. Brad had come a long ways since they had first met him during the Evil Clone Incident.

"With a granny like his, I'm not surprised. She scares me." Jay shuddered.

"Hey, now," Lloyd said. He took a bite of pizza before continuing. "Everyone needs a slightly terrifying old person in their lives. Brad has his granny and we have Uncle Wu."

"You find Wu terrifying?" Zane asked, skeptical. He found it difficult to see Wu as particularly threatening. On most days, at least.

"Well yeah - Sometimes." The green ninja sheepishly admitted. He was fully aware that most people probably expected his father to be the relative he found scary. And Garmadon was scary, too, but things were different now that he was free of the Great Devourer's venom. Wu was a menace because he wanted to be, not because of any outside influences.

"Have you seen how quickly Wu can move when he wants to be sneaky? I swear the guy gives me a heart attack at least once a week popping up behind me when I'm in the middle of something!" Jay exclaimed, "I'm with Lloyd on this one."

"You probably shouldn't say that in front of Wu. It'll just encourage him," Kai commented.

"Yeah," Cole agreed, "Don't give him any ideas. One time I told him he might wanna sing a little more quietly in the shower… So He sang louder instead."

Nya stifled a giggle. Their uptight mentor certainly knew how to mess with people when he wasn't forcing them out of bed hellishly early to train. No one except maybe Zane appreciated that. Speaking of beds, Nya was beginning to think hers sounded like a rather nice place to be right about now. Definitely more inviting than the hospital cot had been. With a thick pile of fuzzy blankets and plenty of extra pillows. Mmm… Yes… Bed… sleep. She had a lot of sleep to catch up on…

"Ugh. I hate to say it, but I'm about ready to fall asleep at the table. All the pain meds they had me on really wiped me out," Nya admitted, yawning. Several of the others began to boo loudly at this announcement.

"Oh stop it you guys. You managed to survive a weekend without me. I'm sure you can survive a little longer," Nya told them. She rolled her eyes at the ridiculously pathetic looks Lloyd and Jay were giving her. She wouldn't be giving in to their pleading puppy eyes routine. Not this time.

"Aww fine…" Lloyd was the first to relent. "But at least have some dessert before you go?" He leapt up from his seat and disappeared into the kitchen to retrieve a grocery bag with several boxes of frosted sugar cookies. Nya stared longingly at them and said,

"I guess I could be convinced to stay up a few more minutes." She couldn't help it. The cookies were calling to her.

"That's what I figured," Lloyd replied. He really was an expert at the Bribing Nya game. It was a skill worth being proud of.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Cole interjected, "we can't have cookies without milk. It's practically illegal."

"Truth. I got it!" Jay announced. Glasses and a jug of milk were quickly added to the assortment of cookies Lloyd was arranging on the table.

"I propose a toast," Kai stated, pouring himself a cup of milk, "To Nya not dying and finally escaping the hospital."

The sound of glasses clinking followed as the others repeated, "To Nya not dying and finally escaping the hospital!"

It really was good to be home.

[shxtodxroki]

hiiiii!! I saw your request is open so here I am shooting my shot hehe. I'd love to get a matchup with any male characters, so feel free to go wild with the result ♡

I go by "Angel", she/her, omnisexual, 5'2. I'm not really good at describing how I look, so here 2 pics of me (I don't have any picrew of me, so I hope you are fine with me sending you my real pics 😔👉🏻👈🏻) also, a tmi for today : I'm basically blind on my right eye but I refused to wear glasses on daily basis bcs I think I look better without it 😅

moving on to my personality, I'm an ENFP and a proud gryffindor! 🦁❤ I LOVE to talk, I can't handle silence really well bcs it makes me feel awkward. people's first impression of me are usually "she's a b" or "she is annoying" but most of em ended up loving me after they got to know me personally (RUDEEE 😭) ; anyway I actually have a lot of insecurity about myself and easily got depressed over em, but I love to act all confident in front of my friendsㅡ gotta fake it until you make it I guess 😩

for interests, I love doing tarots, playing text-based games, and listening to disney / musical songs. I also enjoy watching thriller/horror movies, sometimes I got scared to the bones tho 💀

another thing about me is I have a chronic insomnia, my earliest bedtime is 8 am (I know its very unhealthy 😭😭😭) sometimes I can go a day or two without sleep, it's crazy how I'm still alive tbh 🥲

OMG I OVERSHARED DIDN'T I? I'm really sorryyyy, this also one of my bad traits. I tend to overshare my life with anyone and anytime. I hope you don't mind :(

well I guess this is it??? thank you for opening up your matchup request. can't wait to read the result aaaa. have a good daaay 🌸

First of all I want to say don’t worry about oversharing at all, the more you tell me about yourself the better I can make your match-up so all the information you included was super helpful for me actually! Thank you for sending in a match-up request, and I hope you enjoy your match-up below :>

I’d Match You With: 

Denki Kaminari!

Reasoning:

I did a lot of thinking with this one, there were a couple of characters I was considering but in the end I felt like Denki fit the best with you. He loves your bold personality and you share a lot of interests, and overall he’s just really infatuated with you and would be the perfect boyfriend to go alongside you :D

Headcanons About Your Relationship:

- Denki is not a big fan of silence either, it makes him feel awkward so between the two of you you’re pretty much always talking about something, there’s never a moment of silence in your relationship :) He even has a list of dumb quotes you’ve both said to each other in his phone because of how much you both talk whenever you're together lol

- If anyone’s ever rude to you or accuses you of being “annoying” or “bitchy” without getting to know, you Denki will 100% stand up for you! He isn’t letting anybody treat you that way and he will immediately get on them about how you’re an amazing, lovely person, and they’re the ones being rude by judging you without even knowing you personally :)

- Denki knows how it feels to put on a confident face and try to “fake it ‘till you make it”, he has a pretty similar mindset himself actually. So he understands how you feel, and he makes sure you know that when you do need to let down those confident walls and show/talk about your insecurities, he’s more than happy to talk with you, to comfort and reassure you (And he hopes you’d do the same for him in return) <3

- Denki is, like, the #1 fan of Disney songs lol, he loves them just as much as you do and the other students around your dorms kinda hate it lol because they always hear you two blasting Disney music and singing along at like 3am

- Denki’s pretty scared of horror movies honestly, but he can have fun watching them if they’re not too scary, so he’ll watch them with you sometimes because he wants to make you happy :) Plus, even though he's pretty scared, he likes being your big strong boyfriend that can protect you if you do end up getting scared, it helps him ignore his own fears lol

- Denki definitely doesn’t stay up as late as you, but he’s no stranger to pulling all-nighters so usually when the two of you have sleepovers together he doesn’t end up falling asleep until at least 5am because he wants to spend as much time with you as he can :)

- Whenever you two pull all-nighters, though, you always follow it up with lots of naps the next day. Even if you have class, Denki can see you starting to get tired and he wants to make sure that you get some sleep now that you’re actually feeling tired, so the second class ends Denki’s dragging you with him to his dorms and piling blankets on top of the two of you as you cuddle and nap together ^^

- Also, you never have to worry about oversharing when it comes to Denki, nothing is oversharing to him when it comes to you. Like I mentioned earlier, he’s happy to listen to you talk about absolutely anything at any time, so never worry about talking too much or telling him too much about something because he wants to know everything he can about you and your life, he just loves you so much <3

Song For Your Relationship:

Shivers by Ed Sheeran :)

[magentamedicines]

Magentamedicines: Origins; Bite of 83- Evan Afton

-------------------------

0 Days Until The Party- February 23rd, 1983

There was no way this many people loved in Hurricane. Absolutely no way. It was so crowded in here he could barely move around without bumping into some random person who pretended to recognize him.

And to make matters worse, everyone could tell who he was because of the big stupid party hat Uncle Henry insisted he wear for his “special day”.

What was so special about turning six anyway? Going to “real school”? Yeah right- as if he needed Michael to give him problems about math homework too- he'd probably steal and shred it all the time- he could see it now.

The party itself was bad enough, but the first thing dad had decided to put on the list for the day was a giant pizza party- served directly from Springbonnie and Fredbear.

He didn't care that it was the costumed versions! They were still way too tall and way too scary! Why didn't anybody care about what he wanted on his own birthday?

“Let's all sing happy birthday to the birthday boy! Bring out the pizza Fredbear!” his dad spoke in a goofy voice, the same one he always used for Springbonnie. Evan was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from frowning or crying, dad would definitely get mad at him for doing that in front of all these people.

“If you're scared, why don't you pretend they have big bushy mustaches? Of course they'll never be better than mine- but everyone looks better with a mustache!” Peter laughed, Evan tried to imagine it- these big hulking things with equally big bushy mustaches- he bet they'd look a bit like yellow walruses. He laughed a little at that mental image, right as Uncle Henry was coming out with stacks upon stacks of pizza boxes. This seemed to satiate the crowd, and most of them dispersed when the pizza was all laid out and available. Evan was just happy to be free of the confining atmosphere.

He decided to look for Ivy in the crowd, see if maybe she snuck in again.

And sure enough she was hiding under one of the big party tables, pizza sauce staining her face, she must have snuck a slice before everyone crowded the food tables.

Evan crawled under the table and waved, offering her a napkin. “I'm glad you made it, I thought I was gonna get stuck at a party where the only people I recognized were related to me!” he said, sitting cross-legged under the table.

“It seems dumb to have your kid's birthday party during a festival,” Ivy replied.

“Yeah, well, dad thought it might drive in more customers,” Evan said, brushing a strand of auburn hair out of his eyes.

“I guess he wasn't wrong,” Ivy said, shrugging.

The two of them sat for a while and watched the rest of the party go on, it was peaceful, in a relative sense, everyone was so focussed on the free food and unlimited arcade time that they didn't even notice that the “birthday boy” wasn't present.

Well- almost everyone.

The quiet peace was interrupted with an unceremoniously tugging of his arm, Evan's party hat falling to the ground as his brother pulled him out from under the table.

“Let him go you big bully!” Ivy called after them- she tried grabbing onto his leg- only to get shoved aside by Owen.

“Man- your brother is kind of a baby isn't he?” Owen said, snickering.

“I know, it's hilarious, why don't we help him get a closer look?” Evan tried to get control of himself through the tears- wherever they were headed definitely wasn't somewhere he wanted to be.

“Michael I'm telling you this is a really bad idea!” Tori sounded worried, she never sounded worried like that, she got angry at Michael's pranks but worry was new- where were they taking him.

“No please!-” Evan managed to choke out, in the struggle of trying to wriggle his way away from his brother he finally realized they were heading toward the stage.

“Come on! Let's give the little man a lift! I think he said he wants to get closer!” the four masked morons lifted him higher- he swore he could see the Fredbear animatronic's teeth gnashing even from further back.

“No! No I don't want to go!” Evan cried, struggling again.

“Put him down!” Ivy called again, Evan felt one of the four bullies break off from the group and heard a yelp from Ivy.

“Shut up loser, or we'll show you next!” Jenny taunted.

“This isn't funny anymore guys! He could get hurt!” Tori pleaded, but the desperate cries went unheard over the cackling quartet.

“Come on guys! I think he said he wants to give Fredbear a big kiss!” Michael sneered, shoving Evan's face closer to the animatronic bear. He tried pushing himself away, tried kicking the masked bullies underneath him, but he wasn't strong enough.

Then he felt his head jam into something hard.

No- no this wasn't happening- someone help- someone please someone pay attention-

He felt something else in between the teeth that were boring down on him, barely shifting as the animatronic tried to close its gaping maw.

“Hold on! I'll get you out! Just- just a little push- I'll get you out of this I promise!” Tori's voice called, Evan was starting to feel lightheaded.

“Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He was on the hill with Marissa and the others, they were making flower crowns again, everything was quiet.

There was muffled sounds of chaos in the background- what had he been doing? Oh- right- it was his birthday today- he was turning six.

“I'm sorry, I don't think we can follow you after this. . .” Marissa’ tone suddenly turned sad.

And as Evan went to look up at her- everything went pitch black.

Memories flooded back to him- things he'd seen- things his brother had done- things his father had told him to shut up about and never tell anyone.

Where was everyone? Where was the hill? Where was Marissa? Peter? Benjamin? Friend Fredbear? Micah.

It was so dark in here- everything was too scary- he couldn't be here alone- he couldn't-

Was he?

And as Evan Afton started to cry, amidst the blaring sirens and screaming chaos of Fredbear's Family Diner, something began to leak from the eyes of the golden bear on the stage.

[patchlessworld]

Yesterday.

Went to a maid cafe. But I was so nervous I downed a bottle and a half jinro before that. It's not my first time going there, in fact I've went there so many times now. Since my social anxiety got worse, I started drinking beforehand, but normally (I know this isn't normal, but for me it's my routine) I just drink one bottle of jinro. I felt unusually nervous yesterday, and past experience tells me that one jinro wouldn't last for the amount of time i would spend in the cafe, that's why the extra amount.

But the alcohol hit way fast than I expected. I think I was already a bit drunk as I walked in, when usually I'll have to sit for a while before I feel a bit drunk. Then I was totally drunk later on. I was way too hyper. Talking way more than usual. Couldn't walk normally. I even suggested that I go on stage with a maid (who I have known for a few years) and sing, which I would never even consider because that's scary. But before we actually had to go on stage, I got scared of the fact that I had to perform in front of an audience (even though there's only a few people). So I drank more of the remaining jinro.

Long story short, I was drunk and probably caused trouble even though that maid told me it's fine and everyone was just a bit concerned and that I didn't trouble them. God knows how many "sorrys" I said while I was dming her on my way home. I felt like such a failure. And I was feeling so bad that there was a point last night in the cafe where I thought to myself "I'm just gonna k*ll myself after this.", like how you would think "I'm gonna grab some food on my way home" kinda way. The only thing that pulled me away from that thought is that I remembered I agreed to write lyrics for someone's first song. And I guess I'm really living for this responsibility only.

I hate myself. I cried myself to sleep. I wish that after my sleep, I'd forget everything because hopefully that's how being drunk works ._. But I still had a panic attack before actually being able to fall asleep, because I remembered that I got on stage and sang in front of people. I didn't even look at the audience during the performance, yet I couldn't breathe with that thought in my head that everyone saw me. I grabbed the two doses of whatever tranquilliser that my mom gave me earlier this month (I was going to see a live show so she gave me those two doses just in case. It's prescribed by my psychiatrist if anyone's concerned), didn't even think about how much I should be taking per dose, and took them. I was heavily ventilating. Why would a panic attack happen hours after the anxiety-inducing event happened?

I guess the drugs worked and I slept til noon. I don't know. I just want to sleep. I'm not sleepy, but I just want to escape from all the guilt and anxiety and self-hatred, everything. I wrote the diary for yesterday and the day before, and I was so upset I couldn't stop crying afterwards. I cried myself to sleep, and I'm at the edge of tears at all times. I hate myself so much. I cannot stress this- I hate myself to the point I felt actual physical nausea and I force-vomitted after every meal. I wish I had dissociation, which is a bad thing to say, but man I just wish I would dissociate from all the self-hatred, guilt, shame, sadness and the pieces of memory from yesterday's disaster. (please don't come at me, i know dissociation shouldn't be wished)

Why am I like this. There's no way I could fix this. There's no way I could fix me. And my relationship with everyone is ruined. Because I'm a piece of crap. And it's Christmas. We gotta go to the mass tomorrow. I gotta act normal. But there's people at church. How.

[cruelsummer-thesingle]

I went to the Eras Tour Movie yesterday

As an asian Swiftie- worse, any Indian Swiftie with no chance of ever actually going to a concert- going to the movie was perhaps my closest shot at the communal experience of a concert. I think Taylor releasing the movie here has been a godsend. A few thoughts:

Fandoms deserve communal experiences! It's why we have Comic Cons and Anime expos and concerts! Being deprived of this, the Swiftie community in India has long suffered. Recently, there have been Swiftie Nights- parties of fellow swifties with food and drinks carrying a moderate fee however, they're not attended by many (too late in the evening, people live in remote places, tickets can be a bit pricey) It's a valiant effort by the community and it's very fun but it's not very accessible. Releasing the movie in every theatre (which are definitely more accessible than a party hall) has enabled even those living in remote conditions to fully experience community.

I went in alone and came out with friends and i so desperately miss the entire thing.

The energy was so wholesome and it all felt very safe. Let's be real- dancing in a crowd of strangers can be scary at times (especially if you're from this part of the world and grew up somewhat demurely) but not once did I feel scared or anxious.

I think why so many people have post-concert depression from the movie (and from the concert itself) is because it's one of the few places you can truly be yourself. You're ugly dancing, screaming your heart out in the most tone deaf way to music some (unfortunately misguided) people find derivative or boring. And there is no judgement in that theatre, in the empty space right in front of the screen. Nobody judging you. What I'm saying is, in the three hours in the theatre, I felt like I was rid of shackles. Joy and laughter and glitter and the sense of belonging. And maybe part of the reason we miss those hours despite them being just a few hours is that we miss that freedom and that community and I guess all I'm saying is i had the time of my life singing Taylor Swift with you 💜

[rhyske]

the only horror game I've ever played was Alien Isolation and I got so scared I cried hahah. but yeah, I can watch some playthroughs on youtube because it feels like it's a bit more of a distance to it. sometimes even that is too scary for me and I just look up explained or theory videos haha. zombies, however, are something that I have little interest in, partly because of a phobia I struggled with for some years. a phobia of decaying things and zombies are kinda close to that! even playing Halo (which I love) has some zombie-ish elements and I just remember feeling really nauseous while playing those levels. 😅

yeah, Ikemen Sengoku was a mobile game, while monetization was egregious, I liked the concept with the story and the romance.

people should be able to enjoy what they want without shame IMO. My brother often makes fun of me for my hyper fixations so I've learned not to care what others think.

what are your top 5 otome games? ^^ 💜

Oh man I remember when Alien Isolation came out. I can't even imagine playing it. The stress alone would kill me! 😆 A lot of horror games have really interesting lore. Have you heard of Outlast? That was a wild one.

Oh no! D: That sucks you have a phobia like that, but it's also kinda a healthy one? At least you won't be exposing yourself to bad stuff, y'know? I used to have a lot of zombie dreams as a kid, and in almost every one I'd kill myself before the zombies could get to me. If I ever did face zombies in real life, I feel that phobia. I wouldn't want them anywhere near me.

I will never forget the utter terror and confusion the Flood had to little middle school me playing Halo for the first time.

Yeah mobile games are notorious for their absolutely terrible monetization practices, which does suck cause some have really good ideas.

I always get self aware of my hyper fixations. At the very least I try to not drown other people in it, since that has to get annoying for others. I'm glad you decided to not care 💕 Learning how to just let people be mean and not take it personally is such a life changer.

Oh gosh. Okay, uh. Code:Realize and Hakuoki I will always sing praises for. Hakuoki was my first ever otome, and was also the first officially localized Japanese otome to ever be brought to the west, so it has a very near and dear place in my heart. Code:Realize has the best MC I've ever seen in the genre. Her character development, the fact that she isn't some helpless girl and in fact saves herself and others is such a breath of fresh air. Her horologium is actually one of my tattoos! Code:Realize also has a great steampunk medieval London setting going too, and it actually was the first time I was introduced to steampunk!

Let's see... Aloners by @sonnet009games is a game I come back to at least every year. There's such a charm to it, and Trash is such a deep, fascinating character. The personality options are amazing, and Trash actually responds to those personalities. This is one of the few games where no choice except one very obvious one changes what ending you get, so there's no stress on choosing a "correct" option.

A more recent one that gripped my mind for weeks is Gilded Shadows by @steamberrystudio. New routes are still being released as free DLC, but my gods is the world building alone just absolutely fascinating. Like, I was that one meme of the guy in front of a wall trying to connect everything together 😆 Each route would add something to the lore and I'd be that other meme of the guy pointing. Each route too has such a distinct love interest, and the banter. The banter.

I have one more to finish the list. Hmmm... I dunno if I'll ever actually play this game again, but Cafe Enchanté is one I will absolutely never forget. It had such a sharp genre change that still to this day has me shaken. It makes you think it's all happy and light and it'll be like, a cute cafe slice of life with supernaturals involved but everything about that game is fucked up. Each love interest comes from a world that has something so intrinsically wrong with it, and piecing the overall mystery and history together blew my mind. Every new route I started had me anxious to see just how dark and messed up it was going to go, and I was never left disappointed. The final, unlockable route had me sobbing so hard that I had to put my Switch down for a little bit because I couldn't see past my tears.

This ended up being kinda more of a review of my top 5, like a "you should play these and this is why." Oops 😅

(adding on that Animal Lover is also really good and recently got a port for all consoles and is also one I highly enjoy)

[drvnkd4zed]

Enhypen reacting to drunk Y/n

♡ Jungwon

Jungwon is probably the responsible one, he will prevent you from drinking too much. He'll be all smiles and jokes but when he senses you're going too far, he'd get serious and glance at you frightfully. Jungwon would think you're cute when you're drunk, but still he will tease you imitating the way you were speaking/dancing/etc while you were drunk.

♡ Heeseung

Heeseung would laugh the whole time at the things you say, probably shocked by how different you are when you're drunk. I'm also 100% sure he'll start a karaoke, turning up the volume of the music so that you'll sing even more tragically. Even though he has fun seeing you in such tragi-comic conditions, he is very careful and he would take good care of you. He would carry you on his back, leaving you on your bed and make sure you sleep peacefully.

♡ Jay

Jay's the type to feel embarassed and disappointed (in a funny way actually), he'd be staring at you saying and doing things out of this world. He'd literally count all the times you take sips from the glass and eventually would say "It's time to stop" when he sees you being on the edge. At the end of the night, he'll grab you by your waist making sure you won't fall and lead you to your room. Jay will sit by your side until you fall asleep and leave a kiss on your forehead, then he'd go to sleep too.

♡ Jake

I think Jake would start asking you random questions like "how many days are in November?" just to see how far gone you are. He also knows your limits, so when he sees you're exaggerating he'd just hide the bottles and stop you for drinking more. Even though you'd try to persuade him, saying "one last sip", he'll reply with a firm "no". Just kidding, if you say it multiple times he might buy it and hand you the bottle (because he can't resist you!). In the case you fall asleep on his shoulder, he's not moving by an inch for until you wake up. He'd ultimately cover you with his clothes so you won't feel cold.

♡ Sunghoon

Sunghoon would just face palm himself a hundred of times while laughing. Expect him to use ALL the things you say against you when you'll be sober again (he might also make them more tragic). He would also make up scenarios that never happened just to make you feel more embarassed in front of the others. I think he'd have a lot of fun tho, he'd state something like "You should drink more often".

♡ Sunoo

Sunoo might actually be scared of you as he's seen too many scary movies with drunk people, but then he'll just try to steal the bottle from you. He's willing to help you in case you feel sick, but he'll be like "I told you this would happen" the whole time. Another thing he'd do if you feel sick is panicking, he's warned you that you'd regret drinking so much and he'd probably call his mom crying and asking for help. He will eventually let you lay on the sofa and sleep beside you, even if it's uncomfortable.

♡ Niki

This kid would start a fucking alcohol contest with you where the one who drinks the most wins (luckily the other members won't let that happen). Niki would film you through the whole time just to make some random funny edits about you and post them on the chat with enhypen. I'm also pretty sure he'd make many pranks on you, like making you balancing on a pile of books just to see you fall. Expect him to be the first one to serve the drinks, he has so much fun when you get drunk.