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mapisgf · 1 year ago

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The reason for her smile p2 LW6 x reader

Storms and Kisses

The meeting ended later than expected making you late to Leah's game but you made it just before halftime ended. You immediately stood up cheering as Arsenal came out the tunnel. Leah was so focused during the game and you expected nothing less. Her face was a picture of determination. Arsenal were winning but Bayern pressed hard. Leah scored a header doubling their lead in the 86th minute. Your voice was hoarse from screaming so much. You had only known her for a short period of time but you were so proud of her. At the end of the match you stayed in your seat taking some pictures waiting for her. She looked surprised to see you. Leah runs up to you and hugs you while placing a kiss on your neck hidden from everyone else.

“Honestly I didn't think you were coming.” You went to hold her face but she stepped back.

“I'm sorry something came up.” Leah's eyebrows furrow wondering what happened.

“You're wearing my shirt.” Leah looks in awe as you turn around showing her the back with her name.She grabs your waist about to pull you in but then she remembers that the two of you aren't alone.

“Yeah, I bought it yesterday. I wanted to surprise you.” she laughs and says “I could have just given you one of mine.”

“I know but I wanted it to be a surprise plus i bought this from the arsenal website so im supporting the club.” She couldn't have heard something more funny and perfect at the same time.

“Here take my keys, you can go to the car while I shower.” Leah hugs you one more time.

You sit in her car transferring the photos to your phone to show her. She had somewhat become your muse as well as your favourite person to photograph. She opens the car door and sits down. Her hair dripped , making her grey sweatshirt wet. She smelt so good like strawberries you moved closer to her studying her gorgeous face and full pink lips before you could even move closer to kiss her she grabs your chin in between her fingers instead and kisses you. The rain has been pouring hard since you went to the car.

“Do you want to go to my house instead? I don't think we'll make it much further in this weather.” You agree Leah's house wasn't too far and the rain was making it hard to even see while driving.You arrive at her apartment and take in the modern building . She holds your hand while leading you to her place. She opens the door and goes straight to the kitchen. You follow her and sit by the island.

“Let me cook for you. I'm sure your tired after tonight.” you feel bad for making her drive in this weather especially after playing in the rain for 2 hours. Leah skates her head and replies.

“No you cant i asked you to come with me i'll cook.” She pouts stubbornly. It's so cute you squish her cheeks with your hands. Instead of arguing with her you go open her fridge and start cooking. She rolls her eyes and smiles before she walks over and kisses you. She gives you a glass of red wine.While you wait for the pasta to finish you pull out your phone to show Leah the pictures. Instead of letting you sit down on the stool next to her , Leah pulls you to sit in between your legs.

“Aww you took pictures of me.” Leah tightens her hold on your waist. How could you not take pictures of her?

“Of course , you played amazingly today.” You get up to go check on the pasta even though Leah protests wanting to keep you close to her.

“Thank you, love.” she comes up behind you and gives you a kiss on the cheek. Leah gets plates out of the cabinets as well as a bottle of wine and two glasses.You enjoyed the meals with your legs spread out on top of leah's her hand moving up and down your thigh while you both ate. After you're done eating Leah immediately goes to wash the dishes. Thanking you for your amazing cooking.She leaves and comes back with some clothes.

“Here I thought you might be more comfortable in this.” You walk up to her and take the clothes and pull her in for a kiss. She puts her hands around your neck pressing her body into yours. She breaks away from the kiss , you sigh disappointedly and she laughs before letting you go to her room to change. When you come out to the living room you see her on the couch looking for a movie . When you get close to the couch she grabs your hand and pulls you in to sit in between her legs while playing with your hair.

….Sunday morning……

You wake up in a bed you don't recognize but you quickly remember that you fell asleep during the movie and leah carried you to her bed. You make your way outside looking for her. You find Leah making breakfast in the kitchen. She notices you and turns around pulling you for a kiss.

She's done making breakfast and sets the plate down on the table. She made pancakes , eggs and bacon as well as tea.

“Is now a bad time to say I'm not the biggest fan of tea.” Leah looks at you like you're crazy.

“I can't believe this. Do you have any taste?” She grabs her tea taking a sip licking her lips to prove how delicious it is.

“I have good taste and you know I do.” You say smirking .Leah blushes and takes another sip in an attempt to hide how affected she is by your words.

“We can go get coffee after.” Soon after you're both done eating, Leah goes for a shower and you go to the guest bathroom to do the same. She gives you another one of her shirts to wear. You both decided to walk to the coffee shop. The weather was sunny and bright in contrast to last night. Leah has an arm around your shoulder. What you don't realise is that Leah has started to think about spending weeks with you. She needs this to be more than a one time thing.She wants more happy moments in the sun with you like this.You sit outside the caffe drinking your coffee while she leans her head on your shoulder.

“Why were you late yesterday ?” She looks up at you waiting for your answer.

“I had a meeting and it ran over time.” You see how relieved she is to hear this. “I hate to end this but i have to go prepare some stuff for my shoot tomorrow.” Now you see how disappointed she is.

“Okay, i'll drive you home.” You walk back to her apartment and then make your way to yours. You hold hands the whole ride over to your place. You're about to open the car door but Leah pulls you back in for a kiss that leaves you wanting more.

“Bye.” She smiles at you as you make your way to your door , you turn back to smile st her.

When you're finally inside your home you get a text.

Leah - Pick you up Friday at 8.

You - Wow ! so demanding.

Leah - Be ready on time.

You - yes ma'am.

#woso #woso community #woso imagine #woso x reader #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #arsenal women

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songwings · 1 year ago

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Deaf AU, or: Why Miriam Is Deaf and How This Changes Very Little

(Shard) Ok so! We've only posted art of this AU thus far but i feel compelled to ramble about it, so here we go. Also disclaimer that while this could be any sign language, we're more familiar with American Sign Language and the deaf culture in the United States, so that's what I'll say for this post.

The basic premise is that Miriam is deaf (born that way) - and not much else changes, besides a few things:

The mode of communication between her and Kiwi, and later Audrey (sign language.)

Kiwi already knows some ASL, there be deaf and hard of hearing residents in Langtree!

Audrey loses her hearing and becomes deaf over the course of the game's story, thanks to her very loud sword.

This AU manifested as a result of us seeing Miriam's loneliness and the isolation that seems to be inherent to being a Scary Witch - that's the same for deafness! You might not believe it, but many people see deafness as something horrifying and look away and ignore it. Witches seem to have this exclusive, closed-off culture in Chaandesh - particularly Mohabumi, where Miriam barely feels at home despite being around what should be her own people. That's a very familiar feeling to us and we felt like it'd be nice to explore in her character.

Act 1:

The AU centers around Miriam being deaf and Kiwi is annoying by singing to her until she notices them and tells them she's deaf. Funny doodles from Rostrum.

Here's how Rostrum thought it'd go in Acts 2-5.

Act 2:

The introduction goes just the same, with everyone fingerspelling their names first, then Miriam and Saphy giving their sign names. Kiwi doesn't have one yet - they know enough ASL to communicate well with the witches but they weren't given a sign name back in Langtree. Art and sign names by Kyka.

In the caves, Miriam will warn Kiwi about the trolls, but doesn't hear the troll when he jumps up right behind her and roars. Kiwi is bowled over, but I thought it'd be funny if Miriam just stayed right there, completely immune to the troll's auditory screaming.

"i can explode him right here"

"NO MIRIAM!!! let me try singing!"

"i have magical powers and i'm not the one getting bowled over by some screeching kiwi."

She just narrowly misses the troll's attack with a visual warning from Kiwi and lets the bard sing to him.

Later into Act 2, Miriam does everything just the same - yes, even getting a ride with the Coffee Pirates. Just because she's deaf doesn't mean she can't communicate with like, a pen and paper, or basic gestures recognizable to the Delphi locals.

Act 3:

Not much changes, either. (Miriam in regular Wandersong is always annoyed with singing in this act, anyways.) Though for ease's sake, the mermaids would know sign language, so they could teach Miriam the Overseer song in order for her to reach Kiwi in the collapsed Chaoscape. We haven't exactly decided yet what the songs would look like if they aren't exclusively spoken songs, but the mermaids would teach Miriam a different version that doesn't involve singing.

Also she'd shake Kiwi by the shoulders instead of yelling at them to wake up. This is just how deaf people wake up :)

Act 4:

Essentially the same. If we go with characterizing Peter as a nice guy, he'd know some ASL already and would sign to her on that date as opposed to playing music. Ooooor depending on how a balalaika works, he might show her how the instrument feels to play, and that might be Miriam's first introduction (in-game) to instrumental music.

(The deafness doesn't really make her feel any worse than she already does in-game. I imagine Ira, Kiwi's mother, would be very curious about her deafness and ask her to teach the old lady a few signs.)

She would definitely enjoy playing the drums in the factory strike.

Meanwhile, Queen Order's castle. We meet Audrey. She's losing a little of her hearing at this point and is angry at the two for blocking her way. I haven't decided yet if she already has prior knowledge of ASL or not (leaning towards "no" but learns after she sees Miriam). She fights Miriam and actually can't speak to her, if she doesn't know ASL, but at least recognizes that she is deaf. After they finish fighting she yells and storms off - Kiwi would interpret for her after, I think.

Act 5:

Part One - Rulle

Night Sky

(Shard) I realized from this point onwards (after watching a playthrough) there's dialogue on the broom. I'm pretty sure you need at least one hand to steer a broom, but you can also sign with one hand, so let me just draw how I think that conversation would go.

...yeah, this wouldn't work with ASL. For so many reasons. It's akin to being in the driver's seat and turning your head around to see the other person signing in the backseat. While balancing precariously on a broom that you yourself are steering. While the other person has to practically lean sideways so you can see them. While you are less than a foot apart. In the dark moonlit night or while the sun is glaring at you.

Talking on the broom is a no-go.

...but I really don't want these conversations to be missed out on, so I'll say Kiwi convinces Miriam to land a little sooner so they can talk while walking to their destinations. Also, maybe a flame or light spell so they can actually see each other. Though it'd still be hard to talk.

Frontier Inn

(Shard) My wingmate skipped over the border towns part in hir earlier notes! I'll fill in this part.

The deaf witch would gesture for a pen and paper, but the innkeeper would be confused and speak to Kiwi first. They would interpret for Miriam and redirect the talking to her and it should go on the same from there, albeit with that bit of inaccessibility in mind.

Also, she has to be shaken awake after sleeping on the floor.

Lumber Town

In the forest just before, Miriam wouldn't notice the quietness - but she would notice the absence of the animals. Just pointing out how this is kind of a trope in horror, that something is going to be silent before it's scary, but it would not be scary to Miriam. Until she sees the ghosts.

Xiatian

(Rostrum) Lightning strikes are LOUD.

At this point, Audrey's hearing loss becomes noticeable to her and she finds that she struggles to understand people. She remembers the silly bard and witch using those weird flappy hands during her fight. Out of sheer spite she tries to learn the local sign language, but has to ask Eyala to basically give her the knowledge the same way the Dream King did for Kiwi, so she's ready and actually excited to sign with Kiwi and Miriam when they arrive in Xiatian.

and next time they see her in Rulle Miriam is like "wait YOU know how to sign??? HOW MUCH TIME DID WE SPEND IN CHISMEST"

Audrey's like heheh it's no biggie i want to be accessible to everyone <3

But in truth she's losing her hearing - and is half freaking out about it - and that is possibly why she trusts them to get the Potion of Power then and there. She sympathizes with Miriam. she's still arrogant though lol At the King's palace, the King might be a little suspicious of Kiwi interpreting for Miriam, but not as suspicious as he is of the witch herself. Interpreters can't be at all that uncommon in royal settings as they do need to negotiate with other countries. But Miriam would feel a little left out by the ghost singing through Kiwi - it depends on how the Spirit Language manifests and whether or not that's visible to deaf people. (I like to think it might be. But if Kiwi is the medium for the ghosts to speak through...)

... For a long time, we struggled to write this part where both Audrey and Miriam would learn the song. In the end, Vesta said this is how it would go:

(Vesta) Audrey is losing her hearing and tells the King to sing louder. He does. She says there has to be another way. The King sends her away and she's like RAAAUGHHH! Miriam follows her still, evading the palace guards.

Audrey stomps and Eyala appears. "Bestie, there IS another way!" She teaches her a different version of the song, with sign language, maybe, or a dance, but I like sign language better. It should be ASL poetry.

(Rostrum) And Miriam is able to memorize this after following her! Again, and unfortunately, the sunset sky scene doesn't happen. Though there might be a different scene where Miriam flew up to that "???" place Mask was at, with all of the butterflies, and is found tending to Kiwi when Kiwi wakes up and Miriam explains to her what's going on.

It's two days now.

Sky Temple (Sun Overseer's Song)

Instead of using a piccolo at all, Miriam has to sign the song that was given to Audrey. And instead of telling Kiwi to not listen too closely, she'd ask Kiwi to turn away so they can't see her awkward signing. Whether or not Kiwi actually does this is up to your imagination.

Part Two - Chaandesh

Before I go on ahead, a reminder. Chaandesh - and especially Mohabumi, and Miriam's reactions to feeling left out as a witch - that's the part that made us relate so strongly to her. And that is what inspired this AU.

One major difference in Chaandesh in this AU - though I don't think it changes the game very much - is that many witches do know ASL there, so some of the NPCs would sign to Kiwi! There would be a sizeable Deaf community in the city of witches especially. This isn't to say that all witches are deaf, but I wanted to point that aspect out as large Deaf communities do exist in most cities in reality.

And it'd also contribute to how left out Miriam feels, out of both the witch and deaf communities. It's difficult to get information about either if you just aren't part of them.

Mystery Forest

I'll say Vivian and Sandra know sign language, and would recognize that Miriam is deaf and sign normally to her. Everyone fights the monster and things go on as usual.

In the following sky ride scene where the Spell Squad flies them to the ferry... this IS the one scene where they could sign because someone else is flying the broom! Unfortunately there's very little dialogue in this scene.

The Ferry

I just want to point out this huge nugget of dialogue:

"This whole kingdom… feels like a big club, that I was never invited to."

The inspiration for this whole AU. This one line sparked all this. I'll explain more because I'm actually watching a playthrough just so I can get this AU as accurate as possible, so...

When Audrey appears, she'd probably talk in simcom, which is essentially a variant of ASL where you both sign and speak at the same time. Some might consider it offputting, but she'd be skilled enough at it - and she'd sign SO dramatically!

Mohabumi

Only going to speak on scenes where I think Miriam's dialogue OR actions would change.

In the academy, when Kiwi sees her struggling on the broom... I mean, there's no way she can both sign AND re-learn how to fly on the broom. For hilarity, I say she falls the first time Kiwi gets her attention, and more sensibly, hops off the broom every other time Kiwi talks to her there. I don't think the conversation about music would change at all.

The Crater...

... we've thought about this so many times but it's only now that I actually see the conversation that I realize we don't need to rewrite this at all. It's strange, because before this game, and ESPECIALLY before this part, we just didn't like music. We didn't know what it meant. We didn't know how it could motivate people and be compelling. It felt like a big club that we weren't invited to. Sound familiar?

It's hard to describe how the game changed our feelings on music. In some ways they stayed the same - it's still a little exclusive, but it felt like it opened our eyes to how influential it really could be. The emotions behind playing an instrument, or singing, or dancing. And dancing is a physical form of music! It reacts to vibrations! So Miriam would feel right at home here no matter what her hearing status is. The drumbeats of Manny's music, and potentially the speakers amplifying the music in general, would reach Miriam if this was a loud enough space. In that moment she'd feel like she belonged, being brought back to home where music too was played with drumbeats.

Broom Ride

This necessitates its own section because it's an important conversation and it breaks my heart that, again, in this AU it can't be had on the broom. But I want to give this conversation justice because it hit close to home for us.

Miriam: "It was weird being in a city of other witches. I thought it'd be a place where i fit in. But I didn't."

Kiwi: "That just means you're special!"

Miriam: "Well. Maybe... I don't want to be so special. I've been special my whole life. Around Delphi, me and Saphy were the only witches. I never knew someone else like me. And I guess I still don't.

It doesn't feel good to be different like this. I feel like I'm just messed up. And I'll never fit in anywhere."

Exactly what being deaf or any kind of disabled feels like. It feels like a very specific part of being autistic, too... we're autistic so we know this well.

Kiwi: "We're outsiders... together!"

Sky Temple (Eclipse Duet)

Another strange part of this AU we've thought about for a while! We imagined them dancing, or signing together, or such... but if the order of events demands that Miriam learned the signed version of the Sun Overseer's song, and Kiwi learned the spoken version of the Moon's...

I think the way Kiwi sings by pointing their hand, Miriam could see it visually and perhaps her own hand movements would even mirror Kiwi's. Or the other way around. I think Kiwi would make an effort to visually convey the nature of their half of the song to Miriam, strengthening the harmony... the same way the moon reflects the sun.

The Eclipse

Miriam gets hurt. She obviously can't hear or see Kiwi, so Kiwi would shake her in a desperate attempt to wake her as Audrey walks up - and Audrey at this point has lost a lot of her hearing, but I guess if Miriam is unconscious, there would be no reason for her to sign as she's only talking to the bard. Albeit by now, her speech is inflected with numerous gestures to emphasize her points.

Kiwi is angry enough to raise their voice. It's not enough for Audrey. Either she doesn't hear them and turns around to pay attention to them, or she never does because she never picked up the habit to pay attention to the things around her. When you grow up as a deaf person, your senses overcompensate for the one you never had or lost - this AU's Audrey doesn't have that advantage just yet.

When they carry Miriam down from the Sky Temple... there's no way you can sign to someone while carrying them at the same time. So that little snippet of conversation doesn't happen.

No other changes. Also, this part breaks my heart, I want you to know this.

Act 6:

Audrey's Introspection

Miriam isn't here, and technically this AU is all about her and how her deafness affects small details in the game. So if this AU was only about that we'd stop here and skip ahead to Act 7.

However, Audrey is deaf by this point. And she has to contend with that while ALSO dealing with a singing bard.

In her first appearance in this act, I think she'd monologue with her voice. She wouldn't hear Kiwi's complaints as she drinks the false Potion of Power and collapses in that same hilarious way. When they're in the cave, she continues speaking with her voice until she falls to her knees contending with her mortality.

The bard tries speaking to her at first. Then they sign to her. Audrey looks up and signs back. "Not without my sword. And hearing."

(Brief author's note: I gave Eyala the sign name of "EYE-la." This is a very fun sign name and she would introduce herself with it when she discovered Audrey was losing her hearing and taught her sign language.)

The conversation in the cave goes roughly the same... Audrey seems like the sort of person to shrug off even losing her hearing, thinking that's what she has to do to be the hero. It matters a LOT to her, deep down inside - Eyala told her it was necessary, that she wouldn't need her hearing in the end anyways - but it stings to gain a disability in exchange for being the hero, doesn't it?

Is it a blessing or a curse that she doesn't hear the wails of the Overseers and monsters she slays? That she can't hear the Bard's songs anymore?

But then, Miriam simply being there disproves all of that. She's another person who doesn't necessarily connect with music in the traditional sense. It took her a long time to truly feel comfortable with music as a foundation of the world. Being deaf doesn't make you ignorant to the world, after all... it makes the world ignorant to you. Being deaf her whole life means Miriam's had to grow up fighting to feel like she fits into the world at all. She carved out her own path in life.

The Beast

Theoretically, the Hero and Bard could sign to each other even at that distance where Kiwi is on the cliff and Audrey is down on the platform above lava. If you have good sight, ASL goes a long way.

Act 7:

I like to think this is when Miriam gives Kiwi a sign name after they both return to Langtree. Unfortunately, I still haven't thought of a sign name for the bard, so that's on hold for a while.

Kiwi wouldn't have to interpret for the fairies, I think they can speak any language they need to communicate in. And that includes sign language.

We neglected to say what the spirit language would look like to Miriam who has been trained to understand it, but I think it'd be symbols. Literal visual symbols. Up in the air. Since it's mentioned that Kiwi speaks in strange symbols, which is a visual element, I think Miriam can see or sense the symbols and understand. Which also means she understands what the Dream King says as his last words.

The boss fight goes on as usual. Audrey signs VERY angrily to them after having her sword taken - with aggressive body language, faster signs that the bard and witch just barely pick up.

The Choir

... I'll be honest with you, we agonized over this particular scene for a long time. In the original game, the highlight is Miriam singing in front of everyone.

A singing Miriam would undermine this AU. It isn't vocal chords that deaf people most naturally turn to for communication - it's hands. I don't think a deaf Miriam has any reason to use her voice to sing here, even when she can use her voice.

So a change I'm making here in order to make myself feel more comfortable with this scene is that more of the crowd would dance - in fact, I think all of the people of the world would harmonize in their own way, be it with their voice, an instrument, dancing, or whatever other funky way they like. Thusly, Miriam dances in the end. It shouldn't be only singing that saves the world.

It's sad that the creators of this game didn't put in other means of singing, or explain how deaf people would harmonize with a worldwide auditory song, but that's okay. I know how we can harmonize in our way.

...

And that's the end of this long-winded post about how Miriam could be deaf and that'd change very little about the story. Also, I'm very tired from writing half this dang post and I hope it makes sense to people who aren't deaf.

I hope you enjoyed reading! And don't be afraid to ask questions if you're curious about this AU!

- Rostrum

#shardposts #deaf au #wandersong #wandersong au #miriam wandersong #rostrumposts #vestaposts #long post #asl #we have too many complicated feelings about music #and this au is kind of a love letter to that

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margarethx · 11 months ago

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I was genuinely surprised with the responses I've got on the first part of [THIS story]. It was such a random burst of motivation to write that I didn't even think it through and just posted whatever came out of my head. But I'm very glad that you liked it, since it's the first story I've showed to other people in like 4 years.

The working title will be "Assassinate them with Kindness", and I'll use that as a tag for later parts when I add them. It's also [available on Ao3] if you'd prefer to read it over there.

Enjoy <3

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The weird man does not go to Sam's group on Monday.

Which is not as big of a relief as Sam thought it would be.

Because if the man is not here... where is he? And why did he even ask if he could join the group? Was he just taunting Sam? Teasing him with the knowledge or Sam's schedule and whereabouts, but not revealing how and for what purpose did he get that information?

Sam briefly glances at his wrist, covered neatly by a long-sleeved shirt and a warm blazer. The day is way too hot for this type of clothing, but he refused to look at the bruises on his skin for more than two seconds after noticing them for the first time. He still feels the pain, but it's easier to make it fade into the background, if he pretends it isn't there at all.

In spite of his nervousness and constant worry, Sam leads his group like a true professional. Calm, collected, funny when needed. A shining example of an ex-soldier who has left most of their PTSD far behind by working hard to healthily rejoin society. Definitely not a person, who started carrying a gun in public again after singular weird encounter, and who constantly has to fight with himself to not look over his shoulder and check if there isn't anyone watching him from the shadowed backroom.

But the man was not there. The meeting went well. And all the people leaving the room with their polite "good bye's" and casual "see ya!'s" have no idea about the turmoil in his head.

"See you Thursday," Sam smiles pleasantly and grabs Tyler's hand with both palms, shaking it lightly, as a young vet stops by. "It's nice to see you again. It's been a while," he adds, hoping that his eyes convey genuine warmth.

Tyler is young - too young to deal with this sort of trauma. A typical example of a teenager pulled into a military machine by life circumstances, not because of any principled believes. He went to have a better chance at higher education afterwards. And he lost half of his right leg for it.

He is secretly Sam's favourite in the group, with his sense of humour and positive attitude. Though Sam is sure there is a lot of fears and sadness hidden behind all the jokes, because he acted the exact same way when he first sought out help after coming home. It was easy to see the reflection of younger Sam in Tyler's behaviour.

And it was also great to have someone in the group who could keep everyone's mood relatively light when topics were getting heavy, without making others feel as if their confessions were not treated seriously. It was, of course, Sam's job to control the atmosphere as best as he could , but on days like this - when he himself didn't feel stellar - it was a relief to not shoulder all the emotional weight of the meeting on his own.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Wilson?" Tyler asks, also shaking Sam's hands a little.

"It's Sam, we've talked about this," Sam smiles, deflecting by playing their classic game of arguing over formality levels of their relation. It's a bit worrying. To know that he can put on a mask and his vets might notice his distress anyway. But no one else said anything, so maybe he fooled the rest of them successfully?

"Apologies. Is everything alright, Mr. Sam Wilson?"

Tyler sends him a bright grin and Sam sighs. He doesn't have much energy left to argue or pretend. He did not sleep very well last week, to put it lightly.

"I'm alright," he finally replies without much conviction. "It's personal stuff, you don't need to worry about this. It should be resolved by the next meeting," he adds, hoping that this little lie will make his situation look like a solvable problem with the end in sight. Maybe if he believes in it hard enough it would even come true?

For now, it seems that Tyler buys the explanation and drops the topic. As they exchange goodbyes, he still glances at Sam with a slight frown, but he doesn't push. It'd be unusual if he did. As much as Sam loves working with these people and helping them, they're not that close. His vets don't get involved in his personal life.

...They don't know where he lives, for example...

Sam shakes his head to stop himself from thinking and gathers the papers on his desk with a bit more energy than the task requires. He needs to get out of here. The conference room he uses is relatively big, but the walls seem to get closer and closer, the ceiling pressing down on him.

He exits the building, taking long steps, and avoiding everyone's eyes. Fortunately, most people he passes don't know him, so he's not stopped for any conversations about his last weekend and all the fun his co-workers had while he sat on his guestroom floor surrounded by unhealthy snacks, and wondering if it's reasonable to invest his meager savings in an upgraded security system.

It's embarrassing, when he thinks back to those three days. It shouldn't be that big of a deal.

But something about that man... About his eyes. About the bruises he left.

Sam really tried to not look at them too closely to avoid spiraling again, but he's pretty sure his skin almost broke in some places, as if pinched too hard. The only reason he didn't notice it right away was probably the sheer rush of adrenaline that flooded him in that moment and dulled the pain.

Once he's outside, Sam leans on a nearby wall, out of everyone's sight, unsure of what to do next. Even though he spent the last weekend hidden in his home, the place did not feel safe. All he could focus on were unusual noises or the headlights of random cars passing by, casting uneven shadows on his walls. At some point he was sure one specific shadow looked like a person, but when he carefully peered outside, his garden was empty, with the exception of a small bat the flew in circles under the nearest lamppost, catching moths in peace.

Normally, he'd stay, watching the little guy and reminiscing about the time he too could fly at such speed, but it didn't feel safe, so he moved as far away from the window as possible.

All Sam wants right now is to get back to his bed and hide under the covers, go to sleep, and wake up to realize that the whole thing was just a dream.

His bag slips from his shoulder when he slumps against the wall and the strap catches on his wrist. He hisses in pain, reminded once more - as if he forgot, somehow - that his paranoia is actually justified and that his home is not some safe haven he'd like it to be. Because someone strong enough to nearly break his bones with a strong grip knows where he lives and could come back at any second.

If the guy was a real vet, why didn't he come to the meeting?

And again... if he's not here... Where is he?!

Sam readjusts his bag and straightens up. He cannot come home right now, but he needs to sleep somewhere. He could ask one of his new friends to take their couch for the night... but it's not Delacroix and his friendships here are not on the "sleepover" level yet. And if the man decides to look for him, Sam would drag the danger to someone else's home.

He's not that selfish.

Maybe he could find someone on a dating app and stay the night?

He shudders at the idea. It reeks of desperation even to his clouded brain. He would not do that to some random innocent person. And he would not do that to himself. He has enough dignity left.

The mere fact that he came up with a solution like that sobers him up a little bit. It sounds almost ridiculous and he's sure he would laugh about it one day... if he lives long enough to tell the story about his lowest point post-Afganistan.

What he needs to do is to go to a public space. A place with cameras, a nice crowd with enough eyes, to catch if something's wrong - but not crowded enough that a person would fade into the sea of faces and moving bodies.

With that in mind, Sam takes another deep breath to calm himself and marches towards the nearest bar he knows. The place is probably half-empty at this hour, but an evening wave of patrons should start trickling in pretty soon.

The inside of the establishment is a bit too dark for Sam's liking, but as he sits at the bar he feels some of the tension leave his body at last. Behind the bartender there is a freshly cleaned mirror, showing most of the tables, so Sam can keep an eye on the room while eating.

He's not in the mood for drinking - mostly to stay vigilant, not because he couldn't use a nice glass of whiskey right now - but the place offers some typical fast food options, so he picks them from the menu instead. He'll have to really push himself during the next training session to pay for the sugar and fat intake of the last four days, but he feels like he's earned the right to be indulgent for at least a while.

As he eats, Sam observes other patrons suspiciously, looking over his shoulder from time to time. At some point he's sure he feels someone's eyes on his back, but no one new entered the building in the last twenty minutes and the people on nearby tables seem preoccupied with their own thoughts and conversations, so he's sure it's just the paranoia.

It's starting to get dark outside and the bar fills with shadows before someone turns on a few extra laps. There are more people sitting around Sam now, some staring in silence into their drinks, others talking casually, or flirting with the bartender, as per usual.

The guy behind the bar seems cute. Probably a bit younger than Sam's typical partner, but still in his bracket. He accepts the compliments with a calm smile not cutting them off right away, but not doing much to encourage the attention. Sam gets a little lost for a second, observing the man's hands as he prepares the drinks, almost hypnotized by the movents.

Suddenly, one of the patrons - one that's been sitting by the bar before Sam even came in - drops her wallet in a clumsy attempt to pay the bill. She smiles awkwardly at the bartender, who simply grabs the wallet for her from the floor, clearly used to similar shenanigans.

As the guy leans forward, a curtain of thin braids covers his face for a brief second and he glances somewhere in Sam's general direction from between them before standing up.

Sam freezes.

The man looks basically nothing alike the guy who stood at his doorstep last week, but something about that look causes the memories to flood Sam once again. He feels dizzy and the comfortable atmosphere of the bar becomes overwhelming and stuffy in a blink of an eye.

He nearly jumps out of his chair and makes a beeline to the bathroom. He's not sure why. He just needs to... Wash his face maybe. Look into the mirror and have a stern talk with his brain. Something. Anything! To finally calm down.

As he walks towards the bathrooms, he notices some man sitting in a booth he previously didn't see. He's dressed pretty formally, phone in hands, and an annoyed grimace on his face. He looks more like a person currently working than someone who just went for drinks to wind down after work.

His eyes meet Sam's which sends a cold shiver down his spine. For whatever reason, this man - looking like a banker or low-lever politician, which is a common sight in DC - scares Sam just as much as the creepy stranger haunting his thoughts.

He breaks the eye contact and darts towards the bathrooms even faster, nearly colliding with someone who exits the door.

There are three other people in the bathroom, two of which wash their hands and fix their hair in front of the mirror. Neither of them look particularly suspicious, but Sam keeps an eye on them anyway, walking towards the stalls and locking himself in one of them.

He sits there for less then two second before he realizes that he's made himself more vulnerable by isolating himself from the crowd, but he's really not sure what to do next. The brief moment of fear after seeing the bartender with hair hanging over his face seems silly in retrospect. He could've just ignored the panic, push the discomfort down, and go back to the main room. But the man in suit sitting in a secluded booth?

That was actually worrying. Because he didn't just look generally annoyed or angry. He seemed to be specifically mad at Sam. Which would be concerning with any other influential White guy, but in this particular instance Sam feels like there's more to it.

He hears another person enter the bathroom, interrupting his thoughts. Two of the people washing their hands leave. Someone else comes in. Sam keeps track of everyone inside and at some point he's pretty sure he's the only person still sitting here, so he quietly exits the stall.

Just as he expected, the bathroom is empty. It's a bit weird, all things considered. It's a Monday afternoon, sure, but this place is not alive just on the weekends and in the night, when students party. There should be a constant rotation of people going in and out at any point.

But the room is silent as Sam stands there, wondering what to do next.

He's pretty sure he hears some water running on the other side of the wall and muffled laughs, seemingly coming from a group of women washing their hands and talking in an adjacent room.

Sam's familiar with all the overdone jokes about girls visiting the bathroom way more often than guys or about them going there in hordes. And, stereotypical or not, there is some truth to those... but Sam's pretty sure it should not be this disproportional.

The man's bathroom has been empty for over five minutes. Which is way too long, considering the size of the crowd.

A motion activated light loudly going off in one of the stalls makes it even more clear that Sam's suspiciously alone in here.

He washes his hands just to do something when, finally, the door to the main part of the bar opens. A wave of sound - clinking glasses, loud conversations, a ringtone - fill the empty space until the door closes again, cutting the noise off.

Sam exhales with relief and moves to dry his hands.

Then he notices him.

The man from his porch, now standing behind him, staring straight at Sam in the mirror.

He looks even bigger now, taller, and more broad at the shoulders, his hair still covering the face like a greasy veil. His eyes pin Sam in place like a wild animal who's fight or flight instincts fired so many contradicting impulses in its brain that it ended up just freezing.

In any other situation Sam would feel vindicated. He was right! He was not safe, he was observed, and someone is going after him - for whatever reason.

He can take that useless sense of satisfaction and bring it straight to his grave.

The man doesn't move. He just looks at Sam or through him, maybe. As if he's mentally not here. Maybe his soul has also left his body, like Sam assumes his own did right now?

It's just like that day at his home. Awkward, tense silence and creepy staring. Sam feels the hairs on his arm stand up like a coordinated unit. His heart beats so fast and loud that it must echo on the bathroom's walls. If Sam's ears were not filled with ringing, he'd probably be more sure about that.

The man blinks, just once.

And something in Sam just... breaks.

When he'll think about it later he'll have no idea why he did it. But he simply turns off the water and turns towards the guy in one smooth motion.

"Oh, I know you" he says, tone casual.

The man frowns this time, still looking directly at Sam. One of his hands is hidden inside or his unzipped jacket and it twitches a little. Whatever he's holding there probably isn't a bouquet or a dove, he'll produce out of nowhere and present to Sam like a magician.

"Fancy meeting you here," he adds, like it's a normal conversation. Like they're friends from work or as if the man was his favourite cashier at a local store. "In the bar, I mean. Not in the bathroom," he jokes.

The man's face does a weird thing. It's difficult to tell what kind of emotion he wanted to convey, but he seems confused. Does he even recognize Sam? Maybe he's really not as mentally present this time?

The water drips from Sam's hands to the tiled floor - tiny rivulets running down his fingers. It's quiet again, just as before, until one of the other motion activated lights goes off in the stalls. Then the next one right after it. Click. Click.

The guy flinches twice, his hand moving under the jacket's lapels.

"Can I help you with something?" Sam asks finally. At this point it feels like his mouth is operating on its own, entirely independent on his brain. He's also there, but not really.

Maybe he's already died and hasn't realized?

"You didn't go to my meeting today." Why does he keep talking?! "Do you plan to join this Thursday?"

By some miracle, this question seems to work. The guy's eyes dart around nervously and he shivers as the last of the lights in the stalls section goes off. The room is dimly lit by now only by the small lights over the sinks. And Sam cannot ignore that they're still, somehow, alone in here.

"I'm sorry I didn't come today," the man says and he sounds sincere, though monotone. "There were too many people in there."

"Well, it's a group meeting," Sam smiles. "The people are kind of a given."

He feels like he's body is operating on a pure survival mode. It reminds him of his time in the military, in a way; of the time, where he had to put one hundred percent of his focus on staying alive and keeping other's from dying, too, but couldn't actually think about it. Because there were bullets flying by, and his hands were sticky with someone's blood, and there was a wound to stitch, and a person screaming. If he registered all of that in full, he'd just collapse on the ground, overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear. So it was easier to just switch his brain off and let the instincts and years of training take the wheel.

"If you're worried about confessing in front of others, it's okay." He keeps talking and the man's stare becomes even more intense. His eyes seem very blue, even in the poor lighting, which Sam didn't truly notice before. They look cold, but not because of the colour. More like there's not enough life in them. "There's no pressure to tell your story right away. Some people in my group love talking. Other's just sit and listen. If no one's up to talk, I take over and give a little speech," Sam grins.

And he somehow knows that if he looked into the mirror to his left, his smile would look genuine.

"I don't like talking," the man says eventually.

"I figured," is Sam's reply. "Like I said, I won't push you to say shit."

It's probably not the most professional way of phrasing it, but he's not at work and, frankly, he's about to be murdered, so it's not like they'll reprimand him for inappropriate language.

"Also," he continues, "I can give you a number to one of my colleagues who does one on one therapy sessions. That way you could..."

"No."

"...avoid groups," he finishes awkwardly. " Fair enough."

"Do you do it? The therapy? One on one, no people?"

Sam doesn't. And he'd probably lie about it, even if he did.

"Not these days. I already have a ton of work with groups. If you want to see me, specifically, you know where to find me."

Clearly.

"I do," the man confirms like it's not the creepiest thing Sam's heard in his entire life.

"Well, I have to go now," Sam tries, hoping that if he sneaks out of the bathroom fast enough this whole nightmare will finally end. If the guy's here to kill him, he's doing a pretty bad job right now, so maybe Sam could just... walk away from the situation. Surely, he won't get stabbed in the back in the middle of a bar? Right?

The guy's face contorts in a painful way and he finally removes his hand from under the jacket. Sam tenses, but the gloved palm is empty. At the same time, the guy sways a little on his feet and grabs the wet counter with both hands.

Before Sam has time to process what's happening, he's already next to the guy, holding his elbow carefully and looking straight into his eyes. The pupils are dilated and then suddenly small like a poppy seed, changing in a matter of milliseconds. Sam's never seen anything like it.

"Are you alright?" he asks unnecessarily, trying to keep the man from falling face-first into the sink.

They look at each other and the man seems panicked, more than anything. The unwashed strands of brown hair hang over his eyes, but this time Sam's too worried about him to let himself spiral again at the now familiar sight.

The counter makes a strained noise and a small crack appears on the surface. Sam imagines his own bones turning into dust under such grip and his wrist pulses with pain he felt in the background for the last few days.

"Are you okay?" he asks again, sounding more urgent this time. He doesn't even care at this point if the man's here to kill him. Sam's a paramedic first, and if someone's fighting for their life nearby, he'll always drop everything to make things better. Even if his body might end up in trashcan behind the bar for the effort.

The man blinks, licks his lips, and takes a ragged breath. There's a weird grey cast to his face now and he didn't even look that healthy to begin with.

"I have to go," he whispers finally and stands up. His forehead shines with sweat and his pupils are wide again. "Thank you," he adds quieter and walks away unnaturally fast.

He's there. And then he's not. The door closes so quietly behind him, that Sam doesn't even register the sound.

Sam sits down, not caring about the wet and disgusting floor and stares at the opposite wall in silence. In the women's bathroom someone laughs out loud and a sharp sound of the shattering glass reaches him from the bar.

It almost feels like he's lost his hearing for a while and it suddenly returns to him. As if he's been under water and came break to the surface once more.

He also tastes blood on his tongue and realizes he must have bitten it at some point without realizing. The unpleasant sting of a cut is what finally helps him to come back to himself. He cannot stay in this place a second longer.

He washes his hands again so they stop feeling as clammy and touches his face with them too. The cold water helps a lot, but his own eyes look wild in the mirror.

As he exits the bathrooms, he looks over the crowd that gathered inside since he fled the bar. Just as before, most people don't even look in his direction and he realizes that the man in a suit who stared at him earlier is gone as well.

Then, he turns around to close the door and suddenly he's faced with a bright yellow sign that warns: "Under Maintenance" in bold, black letters. An official looking printout below adds: "DO NOT ENTER".

None of those signs have been there before.

All Sam can do at this point is grip his bag, lower his head, and exit the bar as fast as possible. If he is getting strangled or stabbed today, he at least wants for it to happen in his home.

--- ----- --- ----- --- ----- --- ----- ---

Shoutout to tumblr for glitching a making me feel like I've lost over 700 words of a draft <3 That mini heart-attack was very necessary.

Btw, funny thing about this chapter is that I've basically spent the entire time thinking that I'm doing too much. Like... I keep pushing Sam deeper and deeper into this spiral, but nothing really happened to him. It's not a big deal, calm down, man.

But then I have to remind myself that if some suspicious looking man knocked on my door, told me that he got my address from a person I don't know, asked me where I worked, and grabbed my arm so hard it nearly broke... I would simply perish on the spot from the stress xD Or I'd spent the rest of my life paranoid, even if nothing more happened.

So I think Sam should be allowed to have a 4-day almost panic attack, as a treat.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon #the falcon #winter soldier #captain america #ca:tws #onlysambucky #assassinate them with kindness #ATWK #my writing

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moistvonlipwig · 2 months ago

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BtVS for the favorite things ask game?

ok!!!

my favorite female character: Cordelia of course.....though if we're counting her more as an AtS character then it'd be poor beleaguered Anya, who has too much sense by far for the rest of the Scoobies to handle.

my favorite male character: Spoike my horrible little man who is faking his accent and cheats at kitten poker <3 he sucks sooo bad (affectionate) (also objectively true since he is a vampire)

my favorite book/season/etc: This one's tricky -- I think S5 probably takes it in the end, although I think the overall arc of S2 is very impressive and the highs are higher. But I prefer big sister Buffy to only child Buffy and the later seasons cast line-up to the early seasons cast line-up, and S2 has a lot of bad episodes, whereas S5's worst episodes are just kind of whatever. S3 is also very strong overall, but it doesn't emotionally grab me the way S2 and S5 do.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): This one's even trickier! I think "Becoming" (especially its second part) is definitely in the running for its amazing character work for Buffy and the whole cast. "Lovers Walk" gets points for the sheer amount of fun it packs into its runtime. "Who Are You?" is another contender, largely due to SMG's absolute tour-de-force performance as Faith. "Restless" would be a contender if it weren't for the horrifically racist treatment of the First Slayer that infects the entire episode, which knocks it soundly off its otherwise well-earned pedestal. "The Gift" is very, very good as well. (I'm not as big on "The Body" as everyone else -- it's good, I just don't think it's one of the show's top episodes.) And I think "Dead Things" is probably the most challenging episode the show ever put forth, which I appreciate deeply. (I enjoy the songs in OMWF a lot, but as an episode I don't think it's super cohesive, so while it's up there for me, I don't think I can say it's the show's best.)

my favorite cast member: I honestly don't really tend to get super invested in actors, so, idk? I guess I'd say that, while she's nowhere near the show's strongest actor -- in fact I would argue she's one of those actors who is extremely good at playing one specific part and basically can't play anything else -- I nonetheless have a lot of respect for Eliza Dushku as a person, what with how she's spoken up about the sexual abuse, harassment, and mistreatment she's faced within the industry, and how she threw her full support behind the people speaking up about Joss Whedon despite having a positive experience with him herself.

my favorite ship: Most of my favorite Buffyverse ships are AtS ships, but my favorite BtVS ship is ultimately probably Buffy/Spike, despite, um, everything -- I think they have a lot of really fun interactions and I buy their friendship in early S6 and S7, and I appreciate that the show made some attempt (YMMV how successful it was) to deconstruct and problematize the enemies-to-lovers trope. That said, my ideal endgame for them is that they end up as friends, not lovers. And the way some people talk about that ship on here is......well. It's something innit. In terms of other ships I like: despite what I'm about to say about Giles below, I do like his interactions with Anya a lot and I feel like there were some romantic implications in "Grave" that weirdly never got picked up again in S7. I think a Giles/Anya romance would be a lot better than S7 trying to resurrect the shuffling corpse of Xander/Anya. ...Although, I'm also a "Willow should've killed Giles in Grave" truther, so, I'll also propose a Willow/Anya romance, because they had good chemistry in "Selfless" and it'd be funny.

a character I’d die defending: It used to be Dawn and Cordelia, but honestly the fandom has cooled off a lot when it comes to hating those characters, so, uh, I definitely still defend them ardently when needed, but they don't need it as much these days as they used to. Buffy still gets some very weird things said about her which I think she should be defended from, although I also think there's pockets of fandom that act like she has never done a single thing wrong in her life ever, which is a point of view I also don't subscribe to. Faith I think is in a weird position where she has done some legitimately awful things, which some of her more hardcore fans gloss over, but some people are strangely hellbent on making up things she didn't do to get mad at her for, which I can't abide. People are also deeply weird about Joyce, as you know, but, like, I'm not a Joyce Fan or anything, I don't even think she's a particularly amazing mother, I just think people seem entirely incapable of seeing things from her point of view and weirdly insistent that her relationship with Buffy was worse than it was. So, IDK. Most of the women, I guess. Except Willow. Sorry Willow, I'm sure some people are weird about you too, but the narrative is too nicies to you already.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Yeah, it's Giles. He's the character who has gone down the most in my estimation over time, particularly as I've gotten older. S1 Giles is arguably sympathetic, with his fate somewhat paralleled to Buffy's, but as the show goes on, the character and worldbuilding develop to a point where it becomes pretty irrefutable that this is a guy who profits off of Buffy's suffering and could stop doing that at any time, who abandons her when she needs him most, and who then has the gall to act like he should have any say in the decisions she makes about her life afterwards. Additionally, the way he seems totally indifferent to Xander's home life and clear desire for a non-abusive father figure/masculine role model, and even more egregiously (given that it is literally his job to 'watch' her) the way he seems totally indifferent to Faith's lack of a home or family or any kind of support, is profoundly foul to me, and yet another thing that's made worse by the retcon that Giles is well-off and gets paid to do this. (The Faith stuff is even worse when you remember that Giles, too, has accidentally killed people, yet he makes no effort to try to reach out to her. Angel's attempt to reach out may have been bad, but at least it was an attempt.) I've read a lot of meta on here about how Giles was deeply affected by Jenny's death and how that made him feel like he had somehow doomed her by loving her, or even when Jenny isn't brought into it a lot of people will say that Giles thinks he is an awful person who makes people's lives worse and that's why he holds himself at such a distance, and like, that's a fine interpretation, but I don't actually see any evidence that that's true? To me that's in the realm of "Xander hates vampires because of Jesse" -- it's something that could psychologically make sense for a real person, and you could write about in a fanfic and have it be quite interesting, but I struggle to see any real basis for that idea in canon. And of course I should add that I think Giles should probably suck, for the show to work; if he's a good father figure the story doesn't really happen. But he sucks in such deeply baffling and unsympathetic ways to me that I just really don't like him anymore at this point, aside from the occasional Buffy-Giles emotional beat or snarky one-liner that makes me smile.

a character I grew to love: This one definitely goes to Buffy -- I think pre-Dawn Buffy is a well-done but ultimately fairly typical Campbell-style comic hero, whose character is largely elevated by SMG's iconic performance and by BtVS's strategy of using monster-of-the-week episodes to mirror Buffy's internal journey. I like her fine in the early seasons, but it's only really in S5 that she starts to grab my emotional attention, and it's in S6 that I truly love her -- S6 is a mess, but I think Buffy's arc in that season is utterly compelling and beautiful, and it gives me so much more affection and appreciation for her character. As for S7...well, let's just not speak of that, shall we.

my anti otp: With apologies as always to my Bangel followers & mutuals, I find Buffy/Angel to be not entirely uninteresting to think about (especially in S2, which is when I think the writers had the strongest sense of what they wanted to say with that relationship), but they are profoundly tedious to watch. Melodrama that is played straight is rarely appealing to me, and I can't for the life of me imagine them in an actual adult relationship -- what would they talk about? As Buffy herself admits, they were never actually friends, and so many of their conversations on the show just revolve around how they shouldn't and/or can't be together but they want to anyway. I also think, as the shows go on, they develop different values and their lives go in such different directions that I don't think they would work as a couple in the future, either. Both of them are better off, IMO, moving on and living separate lives.

#thank u for letting me yap about buffy i do love to yap about buffy #coraniaid #it's what you do afterwards that counts

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allwormdiet · 4 months ago

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Tangle 6.8

I hate this man's vibe

Don't separate her! From her dogs! Let them get in the limo!

This is so fucking funny

Coil is trying to flex on a pack of teenagers with a coin trick

and Skitter's immediate response was "okay hang on fucker, I'm supplying the coin for this trick"

and is only satisfied after that

...Also man, when's the last time i saw a dollar coin anywhere, huh

So, having been spoiled on how Coil's power works (in my defense, I went like three or four years knowing about this series before I even considered reading it), I can't help but feel like this is simultaneously a petty means of flexing power and a melodramatic means of describing it.

I kinda suspected Tattletale was playing carefully with her word choices when talking about the boss, nice to see the confirmation.

...Now that I think about it... Hmm. Three of the six groups at the table in Somer's Rock were under Coil's command, and when Tattletale was talking about how everyone but "Grue and maybe Faultline" was planning to take advantage of the truce to advance their cause, that didn't mean that the Undersiders weren't part of those plots. It turns out to have been the opposite.

...Tattletale, I think you're my favorite, but I'm watching you like a goddamn hawk now

Taylor seems to have a lot of "not-best calls" when it comes to people, huh

Also oh boy the Travelers have some shit going on huh

and that's not just whatever is souring their teamwork and communication

...Did Coil practice this? Was there a rehearsal period for his speech, getting the timing down right for the window's speed and the emergence from the tunnel? I can't escape the feeling that he spent at least a day on this, maybe a week

And, yeah, ambitious is a word for it. Man wants to control every aspect of an entire city? He wants to play the cops and the robbers and the bankers and the... whoever else exists in this metaphor? Just play Sim City, honestly, or get into 4X games. If we could just get this man hooked on Crusader Kings or something the world would be a lot safer

I'll grant that he's making a good play at this if nothing else. Certainly not going to cry for the collapse of the Empire, fucking Nazis that they are, and none of the other criminal organizations seem both able and willing to make any kind of major play.

...Though that doesn't preclude groups from outside the city, does it. You could have people from New York or Boston or whatever decide that some expansion is in order. Hmm.

Oh he's doing a real estate scheme, okay. So now we're in a Ryo ga Gotoku main plot. This is a lot easier to follow, I just have to keep an eye out for the Millennium Tower

...Also, Taylor. Are you confident this man isn't also putting moles in the Protectorate and PRT? Like, c'mon now. Bribing government employees works no matter the agency. I'm not gonna say it's beneath the Protectorate's notice, far from it, but a web this intricate means there's no way he's not accounting for multiple angles

...Okay so in The Order of the Stick, there's a sideplot involving a group of former adventurers who realized that they could take over most of a continent through an everchanging map of alliances, conquests, and treachery, with all of them acting as the hidden powers behind multiple thrones and keeping up the appearance that there was no singular rule, so that their own control over the territory had multiple points of failure.

Coil's plan sounds... similar. He's trying to carve up the city between multiple lieutenants who themselves belong to different organizations, with him as the secret mastermind at the heart of it all. Main difference in these two plans is, of course, that Coil is only one man, and also that he's telling his puppets ahead of time that he's the actual shot-caller.

It's not a terrible plan? It's not super complicated at least, but then that's only the criminal side of the city; I'm not sure how he would expect to play all sides off each other with sufficient balance to keep all his pieces on the board (or keep the pieces in line if he decided to make a sacrifice play with one of them).

Anyway. Coil making his appeals to each individual member. Bitch gets more resources to care for her dogs, Regent... something with his old man. I don't know if Coil is reading his wants exactly right on this one.

Hmm. Guess that's the best reassurance that can be provided, not that it feels reassuring still.

Okay so Coil is offering to wave his magic wand and settle the matter of Aisha's custody for Grue, that much lines up. What's the benefit he's offering Tattletale? It can't just be money or power, that's too simple and I don't think any of the Undersiders are that simple in their wants. I don't even think it's true of Regent, much as he's trying to play the lazy hedonist role.

Little funny that Skitter being respected enough to afford silence while she thinks is the exact opposite of what she wants right now.

And it's interesting that she can't pull up a wish that Coil feels like confirming. "Bettering the city" is vague enough that there can be disagreements, and it's the kind of thing with no quick results which means a lot of patience. Obviously it's because Taylor only ever tried to become a hero and the villain thing was... I don't know if "accident" is the right word, but definitely unforeseen, but that sense of higher purpose is still firmly in place.

He's sounding entirely too cool about this, and I hate it. There's no way this man doesn't have a thousand hooks and caveats waiting out of sight, he literally described himself as being able to control destiny and wants to control all crime.

Yeah probably a huge pain in the ass to do finances as a supervillain, huh.

Also what the fuck kind of name is Number Man?

Yay, sloughing puppies

Not to steal a well-worn metaphor from another superhero story, but here and now Taylor is the dog that finally caught a car and is only now realizing "oh shit, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now"

This can only go well

Current Thoughts

Man I hate Coil's entire fucking vibe. He's scummy, entirely too sure of his abilities and resources, and I don't trust a man who acts this overdramatic and this reasonable at the same time. I also don't fully trust a guy who insists on having his meetings in a limousine, or who insists on using teenaged girls as his proxies, and I'm sure I'm going to get even more reasons to hate his rancid ass as time moves on.

Side note, Tattletale, I'm like pretty sure you could be doing better than working for this guy. Blink three times if you need help.

...Wait, shit, there's no way they can keep playing at the small fry game now, is there? They tweaked the nose of the entire Protectorate in front of a bunch of rich and important people. He made them prove their abilities in a way that involves dire repercussions in the event that they back down after the deed is done. Motherfucker.

And just to think that this isn't even going to be the worst conversation in this arc.

#parahumans #wormblr #worm liveblogging #liveblog #worm tangle

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asamitakamybeloved · 5 months ago

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Shangri La Frontier Thoughts

I've been watching Shangri La Frontier lately, and I'm enjoying it and all but I've gotta say, I'm surprised it got renewed for a second season. For some reason the art style has this weird quality about it that I can't put my finger on that's bothering me. Maybe it's the proportions of the faces or the shape of the eyes? The way everyone's lips are shiny? Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

Other than that, the characters are likeable enough and there are some REALLY funny ongoing gags. It's one of those shows that you can just turn your brain off and not worry about any real stakes. There might some sinister overarching plotline, but I'm 18 episodes in and it hasn't revealed itself yet. While I don't have any problems with any of the characters, I have to admit that I don't feel strongly about any of them either. I don't know the names of the humans who play the game (even Sunraku's player, and he's the main character?) and there's no fun chemistry between anyone that makes me want to ship them. I like Oikatzo the best and feel vague irritation when Psyger-0's player has her contrived romantic plotline going on, but other than that I don't have much to say. I don't love or hate anyone in the show yet and that kind of detracts from my enjoyment of the show. It lacks the emotional highs and lows of getting to see your favorite character show up and watching your least favorite character hog the screentime, you know what I mean?

At first I was really impressed with the opening bars of Opening 2 where the players are shown in shadow and their avatars light up on the screen behind them, but after transitioning to the titlecard, the animation and music become very cluttered. The blacksmithing scene was really good and the Sunraku-Pencilgon-Oikatzo antics are cute. The way one of the major battles gets resolved was kind of clever too. I don't care about the bunnies (besides the fact that their faces bother me more than the humans') but the monster designs are kind of interesting. It kind of reminds me of Maplestory. So far, I guess I'd recommend it but I also don't think you're missing out on much if you skip it. I'll see how the last seven episodes go though.

#mine #not csm #slf #shangri la frontier

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excusethequality · 9 months ago

Text

My 2024 in Film: February

Another month of movies.

Like usual I'll hide it behind the line so as not to bombard the timelines of the uninterested.

But there were a lot of good movies watched in February.

* = Rewatches

February

14.

Evil Demon Golf Ball from Hell!!!

(1997)

—Short Comedy Thriller

Directed by: Rian Johnson

After a robbery takes a bad turn a criminal finds himself cursed with a golf ball that won't stop following him.

Here I was thinking that I was an old school Rian Johnson fan, because I've loved Brick since back in the day, but turns out he was making short films even before that.

I'm not gonna say it's amazing tell-all-your-friends cinema or anything. But I will say that if you're in the middle segment of the venn diagram of people that both enjoy Rian Johnson and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, I'd recommend you check it out. It definitely has the vibes of a Jojo episode, because that golfball has got to be an autonomous stand like Notorious B.I.G.

15.

La Nuit du 12

[English title: "The Night of the 12th"]

(2022)

—Mystery

Directed by: Dominik Moll

A French homicide detective, plagued by the mystery behind the brutal murder of a young woman, is forced to confront the harsh truths of the world and the reality of what modern law enforcement really is.

There's some things to like about this one, but it can't ever escape the fact that—at its heart—it is not a story about the dangers of living as a woman under the patriarchy. It is a story about how difficult the brutal murder of this woman was for this poor male cop.

And how can you make a statement about the systems of a world where women have to fear this sort of thing from within a story about a woman getting fridged to give the male protagonist some pathos?

16.

Bound

(1996)

—Crime Thriller

Directed by: Lana Wachowski & Lilly Wachowski

While fixing up an apartment a handywoman falls for the woman next door only to discover that their criminal connections could prove to be their salvation or their downfall.

My roommates and I have roommate movie nights wherein every month we select a new theme and everyone has to pick their own movie fitting the theme without telling anyone else what it is until it's their night. Then throughout the month we'll watch them all.

And before each showing the picker will show a couple trailers of the things they were thinking about picking but that didn't make the final cut.

I had always avoided this movie because anytime I hear something described as an erotic thriller my ace ass is running the other way. But we wound up watching the trailer for it during a roommate movie night and I was intrigued.

(extra intrigued because I didn't know Jennifer Tilly was in it and I hadn't seen her in anything in some time.)

So I figured I'd give it a try. And much to my surprise I really enjoyed it. I think I might actually prefer the Wachowski's style in this than I do their later stuff? Not only is it super queer, but it's also just a really engaging thriller. Definitely worth sitting through the couple of erotic scenes for.

17.

Corner Office

(2022)

—Comedy Mystery

Directed by: Joachim Back Based on: "Rummet" by Jonas Karlsson

A businessman starts a new job only to discover a mysterious office that grants him exceptional clarity. The only problem is that he's the only one who can see it and the rest of the office is a little uncomfortable with how he keeps going into the hallway to stare at the wall during his breaks.

I'm not really sure what the message of this movie was supposed to be? It's too uncomfortable to be funny, and it's too odd to be thrilling. I'm open to the idea that I just completely missed the point, but the whole thing felt like having some Boomer talk at you for 102 minutes.

18.*

Ready or Not

(2019)

—Horror

Directed by: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

On her wedding night a bride is asked to partake in a family tradition of her new in-laws: to play a game. However, the stakes of this game are far higher than she was expecting.

Right off the bat I'm gonna warn you against watching the trailer for this one. It shows way too much and spoils some surprises. I think it's a great one to go into knowing only the broadstrokes. But if you really want one, this one with Indonesian subtitles is cut much better than the standard US one.

Anways, I love this movie!

Samara Weaving is phenomenal as the lead. It's shot super well. And its satire of the rich is excellent.

I don't care what anyone thinks, it's a 5/5 to me. I have a blast every time I watch it and I have seen it quite a few times.

19.

The Lost City

(2022)

—Comedy Adventure

Directed by: Aaron Nee and Adam Nee

An eccentric billionaire kidnaps a romance novelist in order to find a lost treasure. Now it's up to the cover model of her books to rescue her.

I don't know how to put this, but this is a great example of where the writing of big studio Hollywood is these days, and why it drives me crazy. This is essentially (but not technically) a remake of Romancing the Stone (1984) and when you compare them you can really see how screenwriting has changed.

And I wouldn't even say Romancing the Stone is top tier writing or anything. But from the standards of its era it was a solid entry. It might not be the flashiest thing, but it has a strong foundations and it is first-and-foremost telling a story. And that's why it's memorable.

But The Lost City feels like a 2 hour long SNL skit. It's inherently NOT about the story. The story is secondary. It's about the jokes. The story is just there to be a set piece to tell some jokes. Because of this the scenes don't progress in a way to tell the story, they progress to get from one skit to another.

The result is that there is no foundation for me hang my attention on. It's all just empty calories. Yet the film will still try to have big story and character beats, but they didn't do any of the groundwork and so it's all hollow for me.

The viewers wanted silliness and adventure and big names and bigger action, right? Well, here it is! Isn't it great!? Here's a plate of sugar and salt and oil, these are the things you wanted, right? What you put them in is secondary, right? Why bother making a dish when we can just give you what you want.

I don't know. I was excited about this one, because Channing Tatum, Sandra Bullock, and Daniel Radcliffe usually always make me laugh. So them being in something together seemed like a recipe for something I'd like. But it very much was not.

And so many big movies feel like this these days; as if movies are being written by a group consensus instead of by a storyteller.

20.

Cameraperson

(2016)

—Documentary Memoir

Directed by: Kirsten Johnson

Documentary filmmaker and cinematographer Kirsten Johnson creates a memoir of her life and career through the unused footage of the documentaries she's worked on.

I had never seen this one before, but this was my pick for a roommate movie night. The theme was: "Oh!...So that's a thing."

I figured that the easy road would be to pick a documentary that highlighted some unusual group or idea, but I wanted to push the boundaries of the theme. I wanted to find something that wasn't about something unusual, but was itself something unusual.

And that's how I wound up at Kirsten Johnson.

I had first heard of her during a fantastic episode of Switchblade Sisters where she was the guest and she put forth a truly fascinating documentary-filmmaker view of Jackass: The Movie (2002). In the episode she also talks about her film Dick Johnson is Dead (2020), and I was thinking that maybe that would work.

But in looking at her other work I saw this and the idea behind it sounded so interesting that I had to go with it.

It's April as I write this post and this is currently sitting as my favorite thing I've watched this year.

I just love it. It is such a uniquely compelling film. If you were to make a standard documentary about documentary filmmaking I don't think it could come close to reaching this kind of impact. It would seem too sterile. But by using the parts of the documentaries that you don't see it is able to paint this fascinating picture of both her life and her profession, while making you feel like you're along for the ride.

I've thought about this movie so much since I've watched it. Definitely check it out if you get the chance.

21.

Marry Me

(2022)

—Rom-Com

Directed by: Kat Coiro Based on: Marry Me by Bobby Crosby

A pop-star in the middle of a crisis decides to accept the offer of a fan at her concert who is holding a sign saying "Marry Me."

I am part of the small percentage of people that have read the webcomic this was based on, so I was shocked when I saw it had been adapted.

As a connoisseur of Rom-Coms I found this is to be a little below average. But I can't really dislike it, because J.Lo is giving it her all.

Owen Wilson is phoning it in HARD, but J.Lo is going for it.

I wouldn't tell you to go out of your way to see it, but if you're low on options and you see it somewhere, you could do a hell of a lot worse than a movie with J.Lo proving she's still as good as she ever was.

P.S. "On My Way (Marry Me)" is a banger.

22.

Knock at the Cabin

(2023)

—Mystery Thriller

Directed by: M. Knight Shyamalan Based on: The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay

A strange group descends on a small family vacationing in a rural cabin and presents them with a choice: decide which member of the family should die and then kill them, or else the entire world will be destroyed.

I distinctly remember early in M. Knight's career where that man could do no wrong. I also distinctly remember years later where a trailer said "From the mind of M. Knight Shyamalan" and everybody laughed.

After he created the absolute heaping white-washed trashfire that is The Last Airbender (2010) I has just wrote him off. But it's been a decade! Maybe he has managed to get back to his roots? And the library had his new stuff so I figured why not see what the man has been up to, without giving him any money.

Anyways, I hate this.

I hate this a lot.

I also hate that Dave Bautista is giving a really great performance, because it'll be the hidden silver lining to an otherwise terrible movie.

From what I read the book this is based on takes the story in a very different direction, so no shade on the book. But I am just lost at knowing what this movie is trying to say? Because I can't help but be wildly uncomfortable with a movie written by a straight man about how a gay couple should kill each other in order to save the world?

Like...what the actual fuck is this? Why would you make this?

23.

Old

(2021)

—Sci-Fi Mystery

Directed by: M. Knight Shyamalan Based on: Château de sable by Pierre Oscar Lévy & Frederik Peeters

A group of families find themselves trapped on a strange beach where they seem to be aging at a highly accelerated rate.

I haven't done the proper research, but I have a working theory that if Gael García Bernal is in a big Hollywood movie: it won't be good. But if Gael García Bernal is in a Spanish-language movie: it will be fantastic.

Which is to not to insult him in any way, but is to say that Hollywood has no idea how to use this man's talents.

Anyways, M.Knight is back at it! Once again getting great actors to be in bad movies. This is just plot hole after plot hole after plot hole. And since this was based on a French graphic novel I actually did read it afterword, so now I can confidently say that he has once again both entirely missed the point of the source material and also gave it a ridiculous ending.

I can't say it's utterly forgettable, but I kind of wish it was.

24.*

Best in Show

(2000)

—Comedy Mocumentary

Directed by: Christopher Guest

Cameras document 5 contestants on their way to the biggest dog show of year.

I'm not positive, but I think this is the first mockumentary I ever saw? My best friend's family loves mockumentaries so I wound up watching a bunch while over at his house and it rubbed off on me. So I have a lot of nostalgia for this one.

It's just such a fun movie. Quotes from this movie live rent free in my head. And the cast! The cast is so good. This is one of those movies that I'll always be down to watch.

25.

Cane Toads: An Unnatural History

(1988)

—Documentary

Directed by: Mark Lewis

A wild look at Australia's history with its most notorious eco-terrorist: the cane toad.

This is one of the movies I was thinking of for the previous roommate movie night, but didn't go with. I obviously still had to watch it by myself later, because I mean...how can you not want to see this?

This friggin' movie is wild. Not only is the story it's telling wild, but it shoots from the perspective of the toads? They had songs written for the movie about toads? It's just something you have to see to understand.

I also thought I knew the story of the cane toads ravaging Australia, but I definitely didn't know the whole story. It's only 47 minutes long. You can find the whole thing on Youtube if you can't find it elsewhere. If you don't watch it for the unique style of Documentary, you gotta watch it to hear the story about these toads. That's the kind of crazy history that you just can't make up.

26.

Nimona

(2023)

—Animated Sci-Fi Fantasy Found-Family Adventure

Directed by: Nick Bruno & Troy Quane Based on: Nimona by ND Stevenson

A young shapeshifter teams up with a criminal ex-knight to overthrow the status quo.

What's this? Another movie this month based on a webcomic I read back in the day? What are the odds?

I've always been a fan of the Nimona comic. In fact I was even one of the many fans reading it here and Tumblr back in the day!

When I was working at a bookstore the Nimona graphic novel was a real popular seller and while the store's owner never gave me credit, I am taking full credit for it. Because it wasn't even on her radar until I pre-ordered my copy and told her how great it was, so she ordered an extra copy for the store. Then I wrote a shelf talker for it and we kept selling it and boom! It became a store staple.

[Sorry, I' hope y'all don't mind 'm just in a chatty mood. So you're are just gonna have to keep putting up with all this stories behind the things I'm watching!]

Netflix has a love for dicking me over time and time again, so I was resigned to probably not being able to see this one, because I refuse to give them any money. But they actually decided to do something cool for once and they put the full movie on Youtube for free in the time leading up to the Oscars.

Overall I really liked it! But I've gotta say that I like it as an addition to the graphic novel and not as a replacement for it. Because in the context of the source material it's delightful, but if you only watched this I feel like you'd be missing out on a lot. Ballister and Ambrosius' relationship in particular is WAY more interesting in the comic.

Also, I'm also not sure why the art director of the movie decided to give Ballister permanent puppy-dog eyes? But that's neither here nor there.

27.*

Evil Dead II

(1987)

—Horror Comedy

Directed by: Sam Raimi

Both a sequel and a remake of the first movie. Ash is back at the cabin and so are the deadites! But this time...it's zanier!

I have discovered that among Horror fans I have some hot takes regarding the Evil Dead films. The first of them is that Evil Dead (2013) is an amazing movie and a fantastic adaptation, and all y'all are just haters.

But the second of them is that The Evil Dead (1981) is the far superior film to Evil Dead II.

The Evil Dead is creepy and wild and delightfully independent and creative. Army of Darkness (1992) is a campy and hilarious adventure through a nightmare world. And floating adrift somewhere in the middle, with no real goal is Evil Dead II.

I know many people who love it, and I wish them the best. But personally every time I've watched this I've just been thinking that this is all time I could've spent watching one of the other ones.

[Except for Evil Dead Rise (2023) which is by far the worst of them all. I'm not sure if that's another hot take or not, but it's true.]

28.*

Leprechaun

(1993)

—Horror Comedy

Directed by: Mark Jones

While sprucing up an old house a spoiled girl and a family of painters runs afoul of an evil leprechaun when one of them eats some of his gold.

I thought I hadn't actually seen all of this when I sat down to watch it, but then the character Ozzie showed up and it all came flooding back to me.

But don't be like me. Don't watch Leprechaun by yourself. Leprechaun is a dish that should be enjoyed with the company of friends. Also some alcohol.

Because it's not a good movie, but it can definitely be a fun movie.

29.

Leprechaun 2

(1994)

—Horror Comedy

Directed by: Rodman Flender

The leprechaun is back! This time he's determined to transform a girl into his leprechaun bride.

Okay, now THIS one I'm pretty sure I had never seen before.

It's also not good. And not even bad in the fun way the original one was, it's just not good. Although Warwick Davis being a menace is never not fun.

But the girl is the most interesting character and she is sidelined for most of it. Thus we're stuck following her dumbass boyfriend and his alcoholic boss around. And they are just the dullest characters to follow around.

30.

Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar

(2021)

—Comedy Adventure

Directed by: Josh Greenbaum

Two mid-western best friends decide to spice up their life and take a vacation to Florida.

I have a friend that adores this movie. It looked a little weird, so I wasn't sure about it, but I decided to trust her judgement and my love of Kristen Wiig and give it a try.

And she was right, because this movie is so much fun. It's probably not the sort of humor that everyone will love, but it's definitely the sort of humor that cracks me up.

31.*

Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar

(2021)

see #30

After I finished it, I immediately watched it again with commentary, okay?

Don't judge me!

32.

Oppenheimer

(2023)

—Bio-Pic Drama

Directed by: Christopher Nolan

The story of Robert Oppenheimer's history of developing the atomic bomb.

One of my roommates told me at nearly midnight that he was about to put this on and asked if I wanted to watch. It is 3 hours long, but I'm always up late anyways, so I figured why not.

I don't really have many thoughts on this. I typically love Cillian Murphy, but I kind of don't like his Oppenheimer accent in this?

Also people kept talking about Robert Downey Jr.'s performance and I don't know why, because Josh Hartnett was the real standout for me. Somewhere along the line he got really good at acting.

33.

Shall We Dance

(1937)

—Musical Rom-Com

Directed by: Mark Sandrich

A famous ballet dancer starts a rumor that he's married to a performer he has a crush on. This is rather unfortunate for her as the rumor is making it difficult for her to marry her actual finance.

I had never heard of this before, but I stumbled across it while trying to see if the library had a copy of Shall We ダンス? (1996). It turns out they did not, but they did have this.

I didn't like it.

The plot is really creepy when you think about it. Most of the musical numbers aren't very good. And I just was rather bored for most of it. And the moviegoers of the time didn't love it either, so it's not just me!

The main thing it has going for it is that Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire are so friggin' talented that it is always fun to watch them perform. And old movies are always a trip. They have a scene with barely any cuts where Rogers and Astaire do a tap dance number on roller skates. If that's not talent then I don't know what is.

34.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

(1985)

—Post-Apocalyptic Action Adventure

Directed by: George Miller & George Ogilvie

In a post-apocalyptic Australia a lone wanderer becomes embroiled in a power struggle between the sibling rulers of a city.

In a reverse of Leprechaun, I was convinced I had seen this before. I was so sure of it. But when the film truly goes BEYOND the thunderdome? None of that rang a bell AT ALL.

I'm going to assume I had only watched parts of it some time in the past, but never the whole thing. Because the whole second half was a wild surprise for me.

Definitely an interesting watch if you're a fan of the Borderlands games.

35.*

Scream 4

(2011)

— Meta Horror

Directed by: Wes Craven

Ten years after the events of the last movie and Sydney Prescott has finally managed to piece her life back together. But when she returns to her hometown as part of her book tour she soon finds that another familiar face has also returned to Woodsboro.

Unlike with the Evil Dead series, I have no idea how my Scream takes are seen within the Horror fandom. But I love Scream 4. I would go so far as to say that it is my second favorite of the entire franchise, with the first one being the only one that tops it.

I know the third movie gets a lot of hate, so if you dropped off the series at some point and never made it to 4, I humbly suggest you give it a watch. Heck, I'm not positive, but I think you could firmly enjoy this one if the only other one you had seen was the first.

I had never seen anything past 4, so I figured I'd give it a rewatch before finally getting around to watching 5 and 6.

36.

Scream

(2022)

— Meta Horror

Directed by: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Ghostface strikes again! And this time Sydney isn't even in town! Maybe people shouldn't live in Woodsboro?

[Right off the bat I should mention that although it is the fifth movie, they decided to make the bold choice to name it "Scream." Does this mean that 2 of the movies in the franchise now have the same name? Yes. Yes it does. Is that kind of confusing? Yes. It certainly is!]

Ohhhhh boy. On one hand I'm glad I rewatched 4 to remind me of where the series last left off. But on the other hand I wish I hadn't because it set my bar really high.

I've heard people screaming praises for this one, so I figured I'd finally get around to checking it out. Especially because these directors also did Ready or Not which—as we have previously established—I love.

HOWEVER, I did not love this.

I don't care what any other fans think, this is going dead last in my Scream rankings. I'd gladly watch 3 before I'd watch this again. The whole thing is like a terrible Scream fan fiction story.

I am so glad I got this from the library, because if I had paid to see this in the theater I would have been even more annoyed.

——————

February Stats

——————

Movies watched this month: 23

Rewatches: 26% ( 6/23 )

My favorite new movie of the month: Cameraperson

Least favorite: Knock at the Cabin

——————

Previous Month's Posts:

JAN

#xcusethequality

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eldest-of-katts · 1 year ago

Text

I stopped bdubs' episode partway through, so spoilers for the first part of his episode.

I didn't like this task very much, first they didn't know what it was due to regional differences, which was a little cringe on behalf of whoever was assigning the tasks but it was probably a commenter and the review board probably all knew what it was so I get it.

But the nature of the task? You *have* to lose hearts? Or at least try to? It's basically just a task that very transparently tries to speed up the game. It's for drama, not to have fun!

The second bit, with all the cheating? Impulse, that's fine he didn't cheat all that much beside Skizz being biased, but Scar? Why did you do that Scar?

I get that he's a little impulsive, (no pun intended) but there's a difference between thinking something is going to take a while and punching your friend into a tunnel full of mobs and not helping him escape while the entity cramming keeps him from mining his way out.

He kept saying he thought he could mine out, but he's played Minecraft for years now, he knows you can't mine with something else in your space, let alone ninety mobs dealing damage to you while you get pushed by a water stream.

I get that Scar didn't intend for this, and I don't hold a grudge against him at all, I'm just sort of flabbergasted that he decided to do that at all.

Beyond just scar, some of the tasks this time feel mean. Just flat-out mean spirited more than fun.

I liked the rest of the game so far because it was a good balance between risk and reward and fun and danger. The tasks could be funny (the slang words one) or super risky (kill the dragon!) And each player was getting a good balance of each.

But now it feels less fun. I can see what's happening behind the curtain with the tasks, people are getting antsy that this series is going to last too long, and the tasks are changing to reflect that anxiety.

It makes it less fun.

This series was refreshing because, unlike the other death games, people were playing it more like Minigames than a UHC, and they got to chat and play!

Now the tasks look like they're trying to course-correct into being worse again. Kill your friends. Betray them. Cheat. Lie. Steal. Take damage. Lose hearts. Be meaner. Be nastier. Prepare for the worst. Hope for the worst. Be violent. Be cruel. You're not here to have fun, you're here to win! Play like it!

It just- it made me nauseous a little bit. The way we snapped from being chill to being suspicious of everyone.

Reds existing and yellows existing was fine before, the last few episodes the yellow names were cool, kind of funny, a little danger, but still friends!

But as the series goes on, people are being more and more cagey. I don't like it.

I get that this is how the series usually goes, but it doesn't feel like fun drama this time.

It feels like the kid at the playground that changes the rules while you play to make sure they win. Like we thought we were having fun, but because someone else wanted the game to be more dangerous, now it's not as fun.

The other series had cool groups, cool bonds of trust, epic storylines and mild rp to rely on when it started getting darker.

This series, it feels like the switch was too quick. They didn't have time to ease into those alliances and deeper characters (even if it's not 100% roleplay you do need to adopt a separate persona to kill your friends like that).

The tasks got darker too quickly, and now instead of being a complex web of alliances or a fight for survival, it just feels like people are kind of being dicks for no reason.

I don't know if this is going to continue, but if it does I'm going to quit watching I think, I just don't like to see people being mean when there doesn't seem like there's a reason.

#secret life #secret life spoilers #bdubs secret life #life series #big long essay #sortof fandom critical #more like media critical #i still love the series #it just feels more mean than fun recently #idk it's probably just me

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randomkposts · 1 year ago

Note

In your opinion, would fem mello be a 'not-like-other-girls'

E:- Mello might be like that unironically.

K:- expand?

E:- Mello breaks the conformity of what is seen to be as socially acceptable in femininity

K:- and masculinity

E:-Mello as abrasive as she is, I can't genuinely add her with the misogyny attitude of 'I'm not like other girls' that is a sub branch of 'pick me' girls. Both are taken with the goal of putting down other women in order to elevate themselves.

K:- you make a good point.

E:- Especially with our Mello. Thank you!

I detest that sort of attitude since it's seen as a part of "feminism", but breaks it instead of strengthening it.

Besides that, Mello is Mello, she does her own rules and likes what she likes. She might've been coming off that, however she isn't going to make it her personality.

K:-"I'm not like other girls" is putting other girls down in an attempt to differentiate yourself from them, at their expense. .. and yours. Have some solidarity.

E:-Lmao. When i read that last part I can imagine Mello walking away but turn around and jabs a finger at whoever is acting like this

"Have some fucking solidarity."

K:-"I l'm not like other girls, I'm not obsessed with makeup".

"Ok then, I'm sure you have your own weird obsessions that other people roll their eyes at you over, but you don't see me bringing it up as a topic of conversation with you."

E:-Also it does point out that yes most of our fem versions of L Near Mello and Matt aren't the usual form of "general" social acceptance however none of them are going to tear down other women who do follow feminine traits.

K:-I don't do makeup really, but if someone has put the time into it to develop skill at it, then good on them.

E:-Especially ones like Takada, Naomi and yes even Misa can be added.

Yes! That too! I love light and bright soft colors and dresses. I can't always wear them due to weather and work.

While yes if we wanna continue the ye old inner misogyny self hatred maybe Mello did have this stemming from other outer interactions outside of Whammy.

K:-As foil to Mello, Light would do that unironically in the opposite way.

Light hates everyone in this, and will dunk on boys and girls.

"You've never played a video game?"

"What am I a boy? Why would I waste my time on that."

"You've never had a spa day?"

"I'm not like other girls, I don't waste my time on that" except not outloud, just inner monologue for both.

E:-As looking at Whammy.....they genuinely don't seem to give a shit about normalcy.

They should invest in Social Public cues as a class mandatory seeing all their geniuses are inept.

K:-"That kid can be a autistic as they want, all that matters here is that they can solve murders."

E:-Agreed. "As far as I am concerned, I take my studies seriously. Enjoy your spa, your nails seem to be neglected."

Mello can also toss that attitude with the best arm shot she can cause she has seen all types of geniuses at Whammy's so fuck that type of thinking.

K:- A Class social ,as other people see it.

"I know half of you dont care to interact with other people in real life, but its important to learn how they think, to understand possible motives behind murders, if nothing else. So as stupid as it sounds, being possessive of another person under the guise of love, is plenty of reason to commit murder. Apparently. We will now cover that angle in detail."

E:-"Today we learn why humans tend to act aggressively to commit murder when they aren't receiving intercourse. And decide to blame women for their woes."

Hey, Funny thoughts like unrelated to this, DN needs you to accurately write names and correct face right. Imagine someone getting a face tattoo only to cover it with make up lmak. Lmaooo.

K:-I think enough of a facial Tattoo might count as enough to mess with the Shinigami eyes, but I think something permanent like a tattoo would eventually count as a part of your face, in contrast to something temporary like a scarf.

E:-Yeah but like is anyone gonna check if you cover it with makeup consistently.

K:-It never came up in death note, because its set in Japan. It should have been a problem when Light had to interact with Amarica. I think it depends on the makeup.

Like maybe if it was massive clown makeup or something.

E:-I mean lets be real someone gonna have to done that at some point never update anyone kept it private. You seen makeup gurus right. Freaking magic with contours.

K:-I don't know, Tattoos are not always something you can get in one session.

E:-Small. Get a mini bee tattoo.

K:-And they need time to heal. Would be hard to keep a secret.

E:-Put a bandage and go "I got my ass handed to me."

K:-Several times in the same place?

E:-No, since tattoo's generally depend on how long it takes. Some can be done in a couple hours and can be small.

Shit K I can tattoo a mini soup character and cover it up

K:-We are forgetting about fake tattoos! Which are temporary, and so changeable.

E:-AHAHAHA! I was gonna bring that up but went meme later.

K:- wait. Let me look up the rules.

"A side view of a person's face is enough to be able to see their name and lifespan. A person's eyes must be visible in order for it to work, but if they are wearing sunglasses while their entire face is visible, it will work. It will also work If half a person's face is seen vertically.

Circumstances where the Shinigami Eyes will not work to see a person's name and lifespan include seeing the back of a person's head, seeing the lower half of their face (i.e. eyes are not visible), and seeing their body but not their face.

A photograph of a person is also acceptable, and follows the same rules as listed above. The only exception to this is when the person in the picture is deceased, in which case their name and lifespan will not be visible. "

Or formally. -

"In order to see the names and life spans of humans by using the eye power of the god of death, the owner must look at more than half of that person's face. When looking from top to bottom, he must look at least from the head to the nose. If he looks at only the eyes and under, he will not be able to see the person's name and life span. Also, even though some parts of the face, for example the eyes, nose or mouth are hidden, if he can basically see the whole face, he will be able to see the person's name and life span. It is still not clear how much exposure is needed to tell a person's name and lifespan, as this needs to be verified."

E:-Mmmm

K:-Tattoos might not work

E:-If half is covered then they can't see it.No no wait

K:-But masking and wearing sunglasses would

E:-We aren't taking in people or ex convicts who do try to cover up half their tattoos.

Who says a convicted man can't use foundation?!Society?!

*slaps hand on podium* NAY I SAY MAKEUP IS ARMOR!

K:-Nothing against foundation. But I think its getting at face shape being important.

So the question is, would wigs, hoodies, or religious coverings be any protection?

I mean, a Burqa deff would be more then enough protection.

E:-Oh totes. Man Covid fucks up Kira's day didn't it.

K:-Yes. But just a mask might not be enough. So sunglasses to be safe. Mellos burn scar did not protect him from kira murder. Makeup would protect someone from Light, but not Misa, Is what I guess I'm saying. Or Mikami.

Sunglasses that would protect one from the shinigami Eyes, Eclipse!

E:-Damn hack eyes. Oh well guess its back to the traditional misspelling foreign names or wrong kanji. we gotta give those sunglasses to L.

K:-Maybe If Misora had worn a wig, and makeup, Light would have ignored her. But she had no reason to go to that length of deception to the public at that point in time, as they still didn't know the how.

Look, If I could have a way to keep it without being killed by the shinigami fov being boring, I would be hard tempted by the Shinigami eyes. They get visual acuity of 3.6, or 72/20 vision, regardless of OG eyesight.

Whether that is worth half of my lifespan is a hard question to answer, but the temptation would be real.

But like, Lights a killer who has his list, goes through it, and moves on.

In contrast, Misa is more personally motivated, and Mikimai is more detail obsessed.They can just check the TV for pictures. Because Kira being able to kill through photograph sounds batshit to the average Joe, and people still need to know what the school shooters and ect look like, and maybe its easier if they are dead. And then enough of the public was on Kira's side that it never really died out.

E:-True bur this is Japan. Who has no issues hiding child killers. And still maintains hiding killers faces even post trial. Or the issues with the European system as well doing the same.

K:-Canon Light goes for the surface crime.

E:-LMAO! He just skims Justice.

K:-He kills people who have commited crime and have their name and face available. He doesn't dig. Like, he digs enough to hack, but hes relying on the public a lot more then he would ever consciously admit.

E:-If he needs details he has Mikami.

K:-Thats not until part 2.

E:-True true.Ugh God imagine he used the power of 2chan. Japanese 4chan

K:-Like I mean, maybe by part 2 he has gotten better at looking past surface crime and for underlying issues, but If anything, I think the prominence of the cult and stuff means he might have gotten lazier.

E:-Light learning management

K:-I mean, Mello is out there running the mafia (in a vacancy that may be kira related), but that the Mafia still exists after years of Kira indicates that Kira is not as effective as he hopes it to be.Thd Mafia still being around and capable of abducting his sister, indicates that overall crime is not receding as he thought it might.

E:-Oh no its full on rampant. He is dealing with surface crime. Not the actual big guys.

Or corrupt politicians outside of Japan like the Philippines or Latin America or South East Asia.

K:-Yah. The thing about both Light and L as figures of justice, is that they are holding up the current system they live in, not challenging or exposing it.

E:-While I can't blame them for not digging in more it does add to the fact its not as deep as it could've done as it centers around justice and ego of man.

K:-They are Justice, so they uphold the justice system as they see it. Light plays it by the socially conventional rules, where L goes off the socially (and often ethically) acceptable path to get the end result, which will be criminal caught. L cares about the journey, where Light cares about the destination.l, it's the same place, but different roads. They don't care why crime happens, just that they stop it. I guess I would say Justice is a core theme, but not the point in the story.

In contrast, PDN is about Persona 5 and Death Note, so will explore Justice in a lot more detail.

E:-That crossover is gonna take so much brain cells.

K:- I know

E:-I am a monkey with a keyboard ,K

K:-Hey, Imagine if Death note had Nickajack

"Mello is running the Mafia from America".

"Actually Sir it's worse. He's running the Mafia in Nickajack"

E:-I mean shit yeah that can happen they never had 9/11

Lmao lets make it real. Gotta commit to the DN crazy ass world logic. I snorted my coffee out with that Mello bit. I hope you're proud of yourself.

K:- I am

#female mello #always a diffrent gender #a conversation with my friend #death note #death note mello #random k #female light #light yamagi #gender #i'm not like other girls #discussed #feminism #tattoos #makeup #justice #DN Shinigami Eyes #death note worldbuilding #plot bunnies #PDN

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analyzingadventure · 2 years ago

Text

Well I'm only like 6 months behind everyone else playing Survive but better late than never! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

So here's a quick ramble about my thoughts on the game so far!

I've just reached the early parts of Part 4, but I encountered some vague spoilers deeper in the game by accident which kinda reframe things, so Spoilers up to Part 4 with an Asterisk*

Quick note: I am doing a blind-playthrough right now and once done I'll go back and replay the game (with a guide probably) for the other endings. You don't have to send me any confirmations or explanations on how things work, thank you.

I'm definitely enjoying the game a lot so far, it's so hard to put it down once I get going. I will complain that Part 1 especially seemed to repeat its own dialogue a lot, the characters speaking in aimless circles, which WAS quite frustrating since this is a visual novel, the dialogue IS the whole gameplay, but that issue seems to have solved itself by now and I'm glad for it

I do also find it quite funny how Survive really did just take the basic set up of Adventure, scrub some details out and change the tone of the story before calling it a day. Like that's really funny to me. I don't mind it at all, I love the File Island arc so getting what is essentially a fresh retelling of that story is super fun, especially since the tone is completely different. Grabbing the "fun adventure" and taking it entirely seriously, in kind of a realistic way (like, what would you do if you were in this situation-kinda way) is really interesting, it's a fun re-exploration of Adventure's story and I love watching it unfold.

I will say that I did find it annoying how Takuma and co showed no concern for Kaito and Miu so far. Like, yes, to be fair, they just met the two and knew each other for maybe like 15 minutes before getting isekai'd, so it's understandable they weren't super concerned, but also, they were worried about the Professor, and they knew him for even less time. And yes, of course, they're kids, they're going to want to reach out to the only adult nearby since adults = safety and that's what the kids want the most, but also. Miu is a small child out there on her own. It does bother me how nobody showed any concern for her (or Kaito), let alone seemed to remember them, until Kaito gave them a deadline to give a fuck. Hell, even when the kids heard there was a small child lost in the dangerous woods, none of them offered to go help look for her, instead insisting on going to the fucking radio tower instead. Like!! The radio tower isn't going anywhere, it'll still be there!! But Miu's life might have a timer on it!! God!!

That whole thing bothered me a lot, but in the end, it doesn't matter, it was a weird writing decision but it's not a big deal.

What is a big deal is that Agumon is the cutest, sweetest little thing I have ever seen and I would die for him.

All the Digimon are cute in fact, I love them so much.

(Although, I'm sorry, but everytime I see Dracumon I lose my shit because the way he grins he reminds me of Sans Undertale)

Also I love the evolutions they picked for all the Digimon (aside from Agumon since he has Options (I got Tyrannomon! ✌️✨ Oira-shock real)), I love how our Sweet Little Puppi Labramon evolves to metal ass Dobermon, and I was fucking hysterical losing my absolute shit over Vegiemon last night. I did not expect that and it was so fucking funny- like sure, new Digimon would have been cool, but also it's so great that they picked old Digimon to use instead of making some extremely tailored evolutions for each kid's partner. It's so fun and I love that, even when/because the evolutions are so unconventional.

Also RIP Kunemon I'm sorry I couldn't save Ryo. You poor little thing, I'm so sorry. (I'm assuming I could've saved Ryo if I had talked with him more? I mean from the get-go I saw this child Had Some Issues so I tried to talk with him every chance I got and I did, I had a pretty decent Affinity going with him by the end, but there was a part where Ryo was being just Too Douchey to Kunemon, where I told him off for it. That resulted with him being so pissed off he left and became unavailable to talk to for the rest of the Free Action section. So I'm guessing it's because of that section that Ryo died? Welp I guess I'll find out on the next playthrough)

BTW it's really funny that the Arukenimon Amongus Sus meme I did for Ghost Game could've been used for Survive too lmao

Also the Gazimon t-posing over the collapsed Professor was funnier than it had any right to be dfjghsjfdhg

The funniest thing that happened to me so far though is that I actually believed Survive wouldn't have Piemon, especially not as a potential evolution/party member. Like I knew Survive would scale back the amount of Digimon they'd use in this game (compared to like Cyber Sleuth), so I just assumed that Piemon would get cut. So early in the game when you could start recruiting Digimon, I, for a long ass time, evoided Gotsumon, since early on the cutscenes and battles alike it was just Gotsumon after Gotsumon after Gotsumon- like I was kind of sick of the guy, so I intentionally didn't try to recruit one. Can you imagine my fucking face when the other night I finally recruited a Gotsumon (after failing to get a Numemon so many times (I really wanted a Numemon!! ;_;)), looked at the evolution possibilities, and immidiately saw fucking Piemon right there, sitting amongst the options. The one Digimon I had really wanted (but didn't think I could actually get), right there, under my nose, this whole time, just behind a Digimon I was avoiding out of spite.

Anyway here's the Asterisk Part, look away if you don't want potential post Part 4 spoilers

Okay so a while back I accidentally did find out that there was a Piemon as a character in the game. I made sure to Look Away before I could learn any real context about the character or what he's like, I just became aware that there is, in fact, Piemon in Survive.

And then I found out (also by accident) that he's voiced by Chiikao Ootsuka's son, Akio Ootsuka

(Chiikao Ootsuka was the voice of OG Piemon and Apocalymon. Mind you, the last voiced Piemon character we had had between Adventure and Survive was Chiikao reprising his role in the Adventure PSP Game, so the fact that they got his son to do his father's character... That's so fucking sweet) ((Disclaimer I don't actually know if the Piemon/VoltoBautamon in next 0rder was voiced but that's besides the point))

Since I am a One Piece fan, I do know Akio's voice as he's the voice of Blackbeard. I could recognize the "zehahaha" anywhere

So when I reached the opening cutscene to Part 4 last night, I was losing my absolute marbles when we meet the mysterious, shrouded Digimon

Like at first I was like "is that a new Digimon?? A Demon Lord???" since the shroud reminded me of Demon's cloaked form

But then the fucker spoke

And I noticed the fucking card suit decorations on his cloak, and the blue fucking ribbons sticking out from underneath, and the entire shape of the figure being so conveniently shaped in general

And then as the fucker spoke more I could hear the rasp of the zehahaha peaking through and I just

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE YOU SON OF A BINCH

OH YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GOING TO WRECK YOUR ASS

YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET TO THAT SHITTY CIRCUS TENT

Anyway those are my general thoughts on the game so far; having a great fucking time, can't wait to play more

#Text post #Survive

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bookworm-2692 · 1 year ago

Note

🌲 favourite member/character?

🧨 favourite season and why?

🔥 if you were in the life games, how would you play it?

⚡️most cinematic death?

🌿 any favourite interpretations?

🔮 predict the winner of secret life

<3 love to hear your thoughts

Uhhhh sorry about the delay getting to answer this! I first saw the ask on my phone and wanted to wait until I got to my laptop and then forgot until I got another ask haha.

🌲 favourite member/character?

Oh man this is hard! I'm really liking Gem this season, and Pearl is always fantastic. Her Double Life was extra great, but I've loved her loyalty to her team and the way she's trying to get them to win in both Limited Life and Secret Life, even when her teammates are a bit pathetic (affectionate) sometimes (BigB and Mumbo...). I loved Impulse in Limited Life and how much he was trying to win without letting on that he was tryharding it... Also Skizz Limited Life my beloved <3. Skizz is wonderful and I wish he was in Double Life so I could've been introduced to him at the same time I was introduced to the rest of cast (apart from the two I had known about for a decade already). They're all fun and so wonderful!

🧨 favourite season and why?

Third Life and Last Life are excluded because I have only seen three sessions of Third Life (was about to start session 4 when Limited Life was released) and none of Last Life (because I was gonna watch it when I finished Third Life and that hasn't happened yet). I think Double Life will always have a soft spot in my heart because it was the first one I saw and I loved the soulmates mechanic (I still wonder how things may have changed if, on a red life death, the one who died still dies, but their soulmate gets like a totem effect and continues playing as a solo red... I think that would have made it interesting, especially to see Pearl hunt Scott. I've noodled this as an au but not really come to any conclusions yet. Also what would Tango have done, being alone so early?? That sort of thing). Also I watched Pearl's POV first each week because she uploaded just before I went to bed on Friday night, and everyone else would upload while I was asleep, so that just made her win that much better <3.

I also loved Limited Life because Skizz my beloved <3. I loved how they had solid teams but the alliances between teams changed every five minutes it was so funny. I loved how cavalier they were with dying until they were like "oh shit" because it was the end and they were desperate. I loved making my life tracker graph for this season. Limited Life was a lot of fun.

Secret Life is also fantastic so far. I love the tasks and the interactions (and canon Gem in the life series!). Unfortunately, Secret Life is uploading concurrently with Decked Out running. During Double Life I managed to watch every single POV each week. During Limited Life I was busier, so I only managed to watch most POVs each week. For Decked Out, I was mostly keeping up with everyone's streamed runs, but behind on videos... and now Secret Life is happening... so I'm way behind on both, because keeping up with just one is a full time job and I like both. So I will definitely have to go back later and watch more Secret Life POVs because I just can't keep up with Decked Out at the same time.

So all in all... I think Double Life is my favourite. The Divorce Quartet stuff was great, and I loved Pearl so much. I might go have a poke again at some point about what may have happened if the final death disconnected the soulbond (especially if they players weren't aware that would happen, so Jimmy still dies first but Tango is alive... and then the chaos as everyone realises their red soulmate is no longer safe...)

🔥 if you were in the life games, how would you play it?

Oh man, this is hard! I'll be honest, I've hardly played minecraft in years other than a few hours here and there starting a new world and then getting too busy to continue. So I definitely don't have PVP skills and would probably honestly be a pretty wet cat. I guess try to find a solid team and try to build some houses/some basic wheat farms, and try not to die pathetically too quickly??? I don't like lying, so I'd be really bad at being boogeyman if that was in play. I don't think I'd betray my teammate, but I would probably be pretty easy to betray. I would definitely die in the bottom half of the rankings lmao.

⚡️most cinematic death?

This one is also hard. Ren and BigB in Double Life was good, with the absolute fluke of a dripstone kill. Also Double Life, but when Bdubs and Impulse became red as Ren was hunting Bdubs, and Impulse took the time to change the music disc to be thematically appropriate is absolutely iconic. In Limited Life, I think Jimmy's final death was fairly cinematic - surrounded by everyone, the fall, the lightning... the tragedy of it all really makes it. Grian's final death is only cinematic in its parallels - falling in the same manner as Jimmy, from skynet, especially as both of them are often interpreted as being birds. I think also Scott's death from green to yellow is cinematic, when the entire yellow server was chasing him, so it involves him escaping everyone, and then the swimming through water, Jimmy trying to kill him, and Scott desperately trying to swim to Martyn so that Martyn can get his time instead of an enemy. I'm not sure if Secret Life has had any cinematic deaths so far... wait actually. Jimmy and Martyn becoming red. From Impulse's POV he (or nvbzy) did a lot of awesome cinematic shots of the dragon fight, including the moment the intruders appeared and then two of them immediately died. Was very cinematic from Impulse's POV, though I haven't seen it from their POVs yet.

🌿 any favourite interpretations?

Hmm. I like that Pearl canonised Tilly having three lives too, she died on her yellow life at the end of the season, which means she's technically still there on her red life. I also like where I saw somewhere about Matchbox potentially being a reincarnation of Tilly?? This is less an interpretation and more based on the skin, but I love that Gem is corrupted by the End now due to the circumstances involved with how she became yellow. I am also now suddenly incapable of remembering any other interpretations, or at least forgetting what is canon and what is an interpretation haha.

Wait I do also love the post that mentions Gem being brought in as a Listener agent simply because Martyn and Jimmy are too pathetic right now lmao

🔮 predict the winner of secret life

I think Impulse has a good chance this time. He's a solid player, and his team is solid and loyal. He came second in Limited Life, and was fairly high in the previous seasons too. Limited Life really showed how much he's willing to work to win, and this time he won't have Scott kill him three times in a row lmao. Scott is also a really good player, but because he's won, he won't want to win again (Pearl has explicitly stated this as well, but Scott hasn't stated it but has shown it with his actions in Double and Limited Life where he very easily could have won again twice over but chose not to), so he will be able to help his teammates. Gem is good at PVP but she's a little more reckless with her hearts than Impulse - actually, Impulse and Skizz both have an advantage with experience being in UHC mode. So yeah, Impulse makes sense to me. And after Limited Life he deserves it. It would be funny if like Gem won on her first season though, or if somehow Jimmy won after becoming the second red so early. I don't think Jimmy will win but it'd be so funny if he did (and so cathartic if he broke the canary curse by winning).

Thank you so much for sending these asks in, and apologies for the week and a half delay in answering!!

Ask game questions here

#traffic life smp #double life smp #limited life smp #secret life smp #ask

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prettywhenibleed · 2 years ago

Text

𝕶𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖄𝖔𝖚 (Kill For You)

Pt 3

Fem!Reader x Paul

TW: Mentions of abuse, some kissy kissy but nothing NSFW

Paul and I walked in comfortable silence as we made our way to the others. He had assured me that they weren't that far away, so we got to them pretty quickly. I was immediately greeted by Marko pulling me into a hug, lifting me up off of the ground for a moment, before placing me back onto my feet. "Hey y/n!" He said with a wide grin. Clearly pretty happy to see me. "Hey back at you Marko." I gave him a look of surprise. "You're pretty strong, you know that." I pointed out. I mean... I wasn't particularly heavy, but Marko was a good few inches shorter than me. I don’t know. I just wasn't expecting that I guess. Marko shared a look with the others, like my words had some sort of hidden meaning to them that I wasn't aware of, and they found it hilarious. "Yeah. I guess you could say that babe." He said in a nonchalant kind of way and started to, no so subtly, flex. It was pretty funny to see him to those bodybuilder flexing poses. After a minute or so of this, Paul decided to butt in and I guess show off his muscles too? "Nah my muscles are way bigger than his sugar!! I’m way stronger too! Check it out!" Paul announced and proceeded to pose like Marko was. They both had me dying from laughter. Tears in eyes, stomach hurting kind of laughter. "Okay okay! Please, stop.. I'm in pain." I begged through my laughter and tears while still holding my sides. Marko and Paul just laughed and grinned at each other.

Paul grabbed me, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Want me to kiss it better?" He asked with a smirk and a wink, referring to my stomach. I just rolled my eyes and lightly slapped his chest with a small laugh. Looking up at him with a smile. God, his eyes are so beautiful. HE is so beautiful. The way he was looking at me right now. The sweet, flirty smile. His eyes, that looked like they held so much love right now. We just stood there, staring at and holding each other. It's like we were trapped like that. The boardwalk and everything, everyone on it, just melting away. Slowly, our faces started to move closer and closer to each other, closing the gap between our wanting lips. It's like we both felt this pull to each other that we couldn't resist. As soon as his lips met mine it was like nothing else in the world mattered. Paul's lips were cold and soft. The kiss was slow and sweet but it was also passionate and needy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my hands found their way into his messy blonde hair. Paul using this to pull me even closer into him, one of his hands traveling down to eventually find it's place on my hip. "Get a damn room you two!" Marko cackled, making fake gagging sounds, pulling Paul and I out of our little daze and back into reality. We pulled away slightly, I slid my hands down to rest on his chest as we rested our foreheads together. Paul let out a chuckle. "Shut up Marko. You're just mad you don't have a babe of your own to make out with." He teased his brother, still looking into my eyes. "Alright, both of you idiots shut up." David interjected, rolling his eyes. Dwayne was just looking between the group with an amused look on his face. Paul pulled away and grabbed my hand. "Come on sugar, lets go ride the roller-coaster then play some games. I wanna win you something." He suggested, already starting to pull me along with him. "Okay, sounds like fun." I said with a smile. "See you guys later." I told the others with a wave. I heard Marko shout before we got too far away. “He sucks at winning those games y/n!”

Paul and I walked hand in hand to the roller-coaster. As we got in line, he moved to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. I leaned into him, enjoying the closeness. "You excited y/n?" He asked, giving my waist a quick squeeze. I bit my lip nervously. I have never been on a roller-coaster before... Any ride really. So I was pretty nervous to go on it. "I've uhh. I’ve never actually been on a roller-coaster before." I confessed in a shy and slightly embarrassed voice. Paul moved his head from it's place on top of mine, and looked at me. An obvious shocked expression took over his face but was quickly replaced by teasing grin. "You afraid of heights or something y/n?" He teased. I laughed and shook my head. "No. I just never went on one. Never really had friends to go anywhere with and well, going anywhere with my parents is totally out of the question." I informed him. Paul shrugged and gave me a kiss on the cheek before his head returned to it's place on top of mine. "Good to know I'll be your first then sugar." I snorted at the double meaning of his words. "Funny." I told him as I heard him laugh to himself. "I didn't say anything." He said, acting innocent. Before long, we had made it to the front of the line and were getting onto the ride. As we were being secured into our seats, I grabbed Pauls hand. He brought my hand to his lips, giving it a quick kiss before bringing it back down. "Don't worry babe, I got you." He said, trying to calm my racing heart. Paul thought it was adorable they way you grabbed his hand for comfort. It made him feel good knowing that he could be the one that you turn to for comfort when you needed it. Even if it was just because you were nervous about riding a rollercoaster.

To say I screamed my head off, first out of fear but then fun, would be an understatement. By the time the coaster had come to a stop and we were getting off, Paul was laughing his head off. "Hey! Don't laugh you ass." I said through the smile that was plastered on my face. "I'm sorry sugar pie. It's just, you're face and the way you were screaming. I can't help it. "He said, his own smile plastered on his face. "You had fun though, right babe?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my waist. I leaned into his side and nodded. "Yeah, I had a lot of fun." I said looking up at him. God. The smile you had on your face and the way you were looking at him, was almost enough to make Paul's heart start beating again. Suddenly, he felt nervous, worried. No, he was terrified. He would, at some point, have to tell you about him. About the others and what they were. He was terrified that, once you found out, you would run away screaming. If that happened, Paul's heart would be absolutely shattered. He shuddered at the thought of losing you. "Hey. You okay Paul? You went kinda silent on me there." You asked him worriedly. "Yeah, I'm good. Just wondering what game to play. Gotta win you that prize, remember." He said with a smile, pulling you closer to him. You looked at him for a moment. You could tell that there was something actually bothering him, but you didn't want to force him to talk about something that he didn't want to. So, you just returned his smile and suggested a game to him.

You two walked back to the group, you with your prize Paul had won you in hand and a big grin on your face. It was a cute lion plushie that reminded you of Paul, with it's messy mane of hair. "I thought you sucked at those games." David said with a smirk as soon as he saw the toy I was holding. "Shut up man. I don't suck." Paul said trying to defend himself. Truthfully, it had actually taken Paul quite a few go's to win it. I tried to help Paul out by lying and telling David and the others that Paul had won it on his first try. "I'll have you know, Paul won it first go." I said, before turning my head to look at Paul with a grin. He grinned back and turned back to David. "See! I rock, you suck!" Marko snorted and Dwayne laughed along too. David just rolled his eyes before pulling a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. We all just hung out around the bikes for a couple more hours before I decided that I should probably go home. I didn't want a repeat of what happened earlier today. I turned to Paul, who was talking to Marko about something. "Uh Paul.. Do you think you could take me home? It's getting late and my parents will be upset if I'm out too much longer." I asked. "Aw but it's not even midnight babe!" Paul whined. I laughed at Paul and pet his head as he grabbed me, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "It's okay Paul. I'll see you tomorrow." I reassured him. "You're such a baby, dude." Marko teased Paul. "AM NOT!" Paul retorted. His voice muffled in my neck. "You literally sound like a child right now, Paul." Dwayne told him with a chuckle. I just laughed at that.. I mean, he's not wrong. It's not the most adult way to respond to being called a baby. "Hey! You're supposed to be on my side babe." Paul said, offended that I would laugh at him being called a baby. "I'm sorry Paul, it's just.. That's exactly how a baby would respond." I teased him. I guess that was a bad idea, because I was promptly swept off of my feet and thrown over Paul's shoulder as he walked off with me... "Paul! Put me down!" I shout through laughter. "Not until you say you're sorry!" He demanded, laughing at me trying to squirm out of his arms. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" I conceded. He puts me back down and grins at me.

Eventually, I get him to take me home. He parks a few houses down from mine, much like he did last night. We get off of his bike and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug, which I immediately accept, resting my head on his chest. We stay like that for a few minutes before pulling away. "Gonna miss me sugar?" Paul asks with a teasing smirk. I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck. “Maybe.” I say before pulling him in for a kiss. Our lips met, and again, the world melts away. Paul's hands find their way to my hips and he gives them a gentle squeeze. He starts to trail the kisses from my mouth, along my jaw and down to my neck. It felt so good I didn't want to stop him, but unfortunately I had to. "Paul. As much as I'm enjoying this, We have to stop." I told him in a whisper, my eyes still closed and my fingers tangled in his hair. I felt him smile against my skin before he slowly pulled away. "We could always take this up to your room sugar." He suggested in a flirty tone. Seeing the way he was looking at me right now, made me shiver in the best way possible. I wanted, more than anything, to bring him up to my room. Let him make me feel things I've never felt before, positive that he could and would. The feeling of his hands roaming my body, touching parts of me that nobody had ever touched before. But I couldn't. my parents would probably kill him, and then kill me. Sadly, I'm not exaggerating. I laid my hand on Paul's chest and smiled up at him. "Sorry Romeo, no can do. My parents are home and if they catch me with a boy in my room... Well, it wont be pretty." I told him. "All good sugar pie. There's always next time." He said with a smile and a wink, mounting his bike. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. He handed me my plushie take he had somehow managed to stuff into one of his pockets in his coat. “Thanks.” I said as I took it from him with a giggle. "Goodnight Paul." I said as I looked back up to him from the toy and used it’s little arm to wave to Paul. He laughed and imitated the wave. "Night y/n. I'll pick you up tomorrow night, okay. Same time." He informed me. I just nodded in response and turned around and started making my way back to my house. I heard Paul's bike start up and drive away. I turned my head just in time to see bike disappear down the street.

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