#I'm sick and sad and want to be better
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has 4 main sources of revenue.
Text
I haven't taken any Tylenol today.
I've been drinking herbal tea and water, and I ate a little birthday cake and a bowl of soup.
I feel incredibly shitty, but also I want to make sure when I see my doctor tomorrow morning I have a full understanding of my symptoms, unmasked by medication.
The phone nurse asked me to do an at home covid test and verified that the ones I have are still considered reliable. The test was negative.
Last night my cheeks were so flushed I felt like I had a sunburn. My temperature was 97.7. This morning, with no fever symptoms, my temperature was 95.9. So that's fun.
I'm also out of my favorite tea and running low on soup.
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me ~
commission by @ehrmantrautpup based on this scene from mamma mia!
hi taglist, it's been a while <3 lmk if you want to be removed!
@matsushipping | @kits-ships | @self-ship-haven | @tothemoon-ships | @over--heaven
@dmclr | @espresso-ships | @sunflawyer
(click here to join!)
#it's stanley's birthday tomorrow!#this has been my homescreen ever since I received it#absolutely obsessed w it !#i love mamma mia and i love this scene so this is something I always thought about getting for me and an f/o#and honestly i feel like it fits stan the most#ty to everyone on my taglist i know it's been a while since i've posted anything#i was sick and sad but i'm feeling better now and I wanted to post this before the last month of summer is over#stan; gallery#stanley snyder#dr stone#if a single person leaves an ask for me wishing to see our wedding art for his birthday i will post it tomorrow#<-- tacking this on the end expecting no one to see it
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
x
#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
do i even care. right now no. i can't i can't even focus on anything. ig i'll be upset later but also i feel like i saw this coming
#he decided he wants kids. and since i don't then it's kinda just. fart noise. but also WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TELL ME WHEN IVE BEEN SICK IN#BED AND PUKING ALL DAY#'i figured sooner than later is better' YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED ONE DAY???#honestly maybe it's good i can't really be that sad bc i'm literally in like survival mode#like that is not my priority
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
........creachure
#cats#his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way...#it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy#his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat)#I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol#the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally#I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh#currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from#sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous#and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that#I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky#because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr#ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your#guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature#be upon ye..#Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely.#but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start#On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed#.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes.#sculptures. edit videos. etc. ).#anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes all you need is a good ol' coffee shop au tbh.
#i'm cold and in a mood to be fluffed 🥺 and angsted#the one good thing about holiday season is the amount of coffee shops/ bakery/ otherwise fluff and angst fanfics#it's like hallmark movies but 10000x better and they actually get to fuck and curse and act like real people#my bts ffic archive is like 50% exclusively holiday-themed fics lmao. they are cosy! and sexy !#like yeah give me grumpy yoongi in the midst of snow and baking cookies 🥺#if there's a little exes to lovers thrown in??? or enemies to lovers?? WOOOOOOOOOO YEAH#you can take my X Reader fanfiction out of my cold dead hands. leave yeen alone 😤#(yeen is y/n)#anyways. i am in fact not reading anything rn as it's very late and i'm STILL sick and can't sleep but also reading rn is no bueno#but i am making a list of the things i need to catch up on + want to indulge in#since i'm travelling next week and will finally have time to read#wanna catch up with at least ditf and edging fitness before i see sleep token. because after that i will have NO TIME in december#and i prefer to re-read my fav cosy stuff to shake off the Holiday Big Sad#which actually isn't too bad this year but maybe because i've been BIG SAD for a few months now and i can't even tell the difference anymore#ahem. ANYWAYS! let's not go into that#hmmmmmmmm i know i'm using this as a diary at this point but! if anyone's actually nosy enough to have read through all this#here's a little surprise: ✨🎁✨#🦦🥏🦫 <- an otter and a beaver playing frisbee 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#darya talks to herself
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
how are you feeling today? did you make it through unscathed?
Yeah I definitely didn't 😭 I've been hella congested all day and I definitely have a cough, but it's more bc my throat is bugging me than anything. I don't think I technically have a fever, my temp's just slightly elevated from where it normally is. It's fucking miserable bc I can't breathe through my nose and the damn thing fucking hurts, and I'm kinda uncomfortable and a little achy, but other than that I'm mostly just tired and a little hazy and generally just don't feel great, so I'm not dying like my partner was lmao. But yeah, all this to say that I'm fucking pissed at him and I literally feel like a goddamn plague rat 😭😭
#not snz#i fucking hate it here#I've sneezed a few times but not much#mainly just coughing#super sniffly tho#also i did go hang out with him just so i could bitch at him lmao#also i feel fucking disgusting and i was sad being in my room#like i don't want anyone to perceive me#like i was almost never sick when i was younger and if i was no i wasn't unless it was bad#but times have changed 😔#so no more going out and doing things while being either maybe or definitely sick 😔#thank god honestly but i still don't want people to Know#like don't fucking look at me let me rot in my hole and die alone#but i didn't wanna be alone apparently like i was very sad about the thought for some reason smh#so yeah we literally just hung out in the car#lowered the seats and had blankets and pillows and shit so it was kinda chill#and he bought food from a couple different places bc it's his fucking fault and he's trying to buy my forgiveness lmao#various soups and mac and cheeses and the general concensus was that they'd probably be good if we could taste them better 😭#some of them tho the texture was just not it like even a great taste couldn't save them imo#also there's a boba place that makes hot teas also so we went there a few times#ordered in advance masks on obviously so we were only in there for like a minute just to grab everything#like we were being as careful as we could#also he's like mostly feeling better like his fever broke apparently#he still sounds fucking gross tho lmao like his voice is shot and he still has a pretty bad cough#and now I'm like fucking whatever we both have the same gross ass fucking disease so it's fine i guess#but i still kept glaring at him as a first reaction whenever he decided to be symptomatic lmao#but i wasn't pressing myself against the window trying to escape so progress lmaoooo#anyway it was a chill day i guess like we were just hanging and making sure the other person wasn't dying lmao#I'm at home now and took a hot ass shower and my eyes hurt and I'm tired so it's probably bedtime lmao
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
the hozier concert for this wednesday was cancelled 🥹💔
i'm sure it'll be rescheduled or smth but i hope hozier himself feels better soon!! not to sound like... stalker-ish but he's looked a little under the weather from recent photos, i hope he knows he's loved and is resting 💖💖💖
#hozier#jessie talks#i'm sad bc it was on one of my days i had off#praying he'll do reschedule for exactly a week later#i hope this poor man doesn't have covid#bless his soul#i live in an unfortunately red state and the covid sitch is not good#when i go out no one else i see is wearing a mask#if he needs to cancel it's understandable tho#if he's not well he'd better take care of himself#i'd rather him cancel the show and recover rather than do the opposite#alexa how do i take care of a sick singer/celebrity???#the need to wrap him in a blanket and make him tea is SO stronk#i'm he's a grown man and can take care of himself#but to my knowledge he's a sweet kind and good person#i want to give some of the love he gives us fans back#ANYWAY LMAO#pls ignore my spelling mistakes here lol i'm not going to fix them#💀💕
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everyone would be better off if I didn't exist at all
#personal#late night thoughts#i hate my life#i hate my brain#dark thoughts#unlovable#empty#shit hurts#sad#i feel like shit#want to sleep forever#I'm so upset#sick#just want to feel better#not good enough
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I've still been in such a low mood and it hasn't gotten any better in the past week#And I think part of it is stress and I think getting a bit sick. But maybe it's the stress making me sick#But I'm now going to actually be living alone for probably until like august so I know that's going to make me seem even more isolated#than I already feel#Even though it's like I'm by myself most of the time anyways I actually really will be now#And I still get to go home for a bit but I know that's the last time we're all going to be together for a very long time so#that is making me emotional and a bit sad as well thinking about it#Because I know I can always go home if I wanted to or had to but it's never going to be like it used to be again#And it's like most people as adults find their own family as they get older but I have no hopes of that for me so it's like I have#nothing looking forward and I can't go backwards anymore either which just makes me feel even more alone#And I don't even know where I'm going with this but I just seem frustrated with myself and I am trying my best but I#don't even know anymore
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I see mutuals learning new and improved things about themselves and their interests today, and so I thought maybe it's time I admit that despite how very straight I am and how I'm attracted to every man ever, I just don't see the appeal of Sirius Black, Idk I've tried but I'm just fooling myself, he's not that hot or special actually 😔 and I've realised I get so bored of reading fic where too much focus is on him.... might have to stop altogether....
#also if you enjoy your fave character being hurt you're disgusting and sick and I'm so sorry it took me so long to understand this!!!!!!#I'll do better!!!!!!#turns out I only wanted to torture S because I was so bored of him#😔😔😔😔#who cares if he's happy or sad#well not me
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just saw ur tags and I'm sending love!! hope u feel better soon <3333
Thank you! 💕💕💕 My voice has been out and I'm waiting on that first paycheck from the new job 🥴 so I'm just trying to chill out for a bit. There hasn't been a lot of time for art with my work days but I'm trying to figure out how to change that, I don't think I can go very long without drawing!
#that was so fast anon thank you so much#its gonna be better soon but this week has just felt tough#its my first time being sick while living alone#in case anyone wants to show up witj some soup and ill kiss you when I'm all better#it feels weird being unable to make art for long feels sad#i bring my sketch book every day just in case
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
gettin a real Maybe It's Just Not Worth It vibe tonight, enjoy tagspam 👍
#im so fucking sick of wishing i was happier or in a better place or just#better in general#it feels like that's all i can do. just wish that i wasn't miserable and clinging to the will to live every single fucking day#and get lost in the daydream of “wow maybe i won't want to kill myself one of these days that'll be neat!”#but i just don't think it gets better i think that's bullshit#i think that sometimes a person can just waste their life and be miserable and then die and that's just how their story goes#like statistically speaking not all of us can follow our dreams yknow#fuck i don't even HAVE dreams i don't even have that guiding star of like something im interested in or something i want to do with my life#nothing's driving me i'm literally just Here#“staying alive is all you have to do <3” okay that's a nice sentiment but what happens when every day of staying alive is fucking miserable#every fucking positive affirmation just slides off of me i can't believe that shit anymore#i feel like at this point i should make clear that i'm not like Planning Anything Drastic#i don't want to be dead i just desperately want to not be my fucking self anymore#sick of that asshole tbh#i just want to spend a day feeling neutral about myself. just not wishing i was dead#not mentally self harming by looking at other people living lives i feel like are out of reach#man it's not even extravagant stuff it's like one-bedroom apartments with a modest kitchen#like that's what daydreaming is for me it's fucking sad#like what's the point in trying to get better if that's all i'm aspiring to and i can't even manage to pull that shit off :/#anyway#that kinda night#personal#vent
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
obviously there's a billion other things but one thing that sucks about being sick/disabled is that most of the time i don't have enough energy to both get to and from somewhere, and also BE in the place. brain-wise and, like, life-fulfillment-wise, things would be way better if i could spend more time somewhere that isn't by myself in my house (although for much of the time this is the best environment to manage my various disabilities), but physical-ability-wise, often the travelling to and from a place takes all the 'spare' energy i have, so i can't actually *be* at the place without experiencing a level of various symptoms that negates the benefits of being there in the moment, or being so so ill when i get home, or the 'being at the place' leaving me unable to safely travel home in the first place. it sucks.
anyway i guess that the flipside of that is super strong appreciation for the instances that i *can* do things, the people that help me get places, and the people who're happy to meet outdoors and/or with precautions. it makes a huge difference to have some things to look forward to, even if i am greedy for more!
#it would be really neat if people were taking more precautions so it was a little safer for disabled people to use public transport without#like. potentially life threatening consequences too for everyone involved.#or like in the world in general too not just public transport :P.#oh also if the public transport sucked less and was close to places you wanted to go :P#i'm definitely on the high caution end of things because the concept of becoming further disabled by post-viral conditions brings#unfathomable dread to me given how things are anyway and having been able to claw my way to a little 'better' than things have been#but still. feel like it should be less high stakes for everyone including high risk individuals you know :P#this post probably brought to you by being asked the question 'don't you miss (the job you were so so passionate about but had to quit bc#you became disablingly sick as a teenager)?'. the answer. shockingly. is yes. :P#Anyway. i actively try to make the best of reality not the alternate reality where things are as they were but sometimes you've gotta be#sad about things! that's fine too.#i'm always more melancholy when i'm actively having medical stuff happen because i'm forced to think about it more and also to#compare my own level of concern with that of those around me and like. process and deal with the gaps between them :P
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
When I think I'm finally having a good relationship with food and my body... my ed strikes again
#tw ed#just couldn't eat today bc body dysmorphia is here#and like i know i'm skinny but there's always this voice saying you could be skinnier!!!!#i exercise i eat healthy food but when my ed is here i just can't help but want to feel sick#my brain screams you need to look skinny sick#at this point there's only patrick bateman's voice in loop saying you can always be thinner look better#aha :')#it's so fucking sad i have to live with this even tho i'm always trying to get better and i never gain weight#this is literally my goal weight and i still feel bad for not losing more#probably deleting this later i need to pretend i don't have an ed anymore
6 notes
·
View notes