#I'm sick and sad and want to be better

[hachama]

I haven't taken any Tylenol today.

I've been drinking herbal tea and water, and I ate a little birthday cake and a bowl of soup.

I feel incredibly shitty, but also I want to make sure when I see my doctor tomorrow morning I have a full understanding of my symptoms, unmasked by medication.

The phone nurse asked me to do an at home covid test and verified that the ones I have are still considered reliable. The test was negative.

Last night my cheeks were so flushed I felt like I had a sunburn. My temperature was 97.7. This morning, with no fever symptoms, my temperature was 95.9. So that's fun.

I'm also out of my favorite tea and running low on soup.

[beneathsilverstars]

if i failed to protect my kid during the apocalypse and they almost died wandering on their own but got rescued by a team of four competent, battle-experienced adults who cared about them very much and made them feel less scared and useless but refused to let them fight, i think that would be a pretty decent outcome and i'd be pretty okay with it. sure i could dream up a better situation but there's a hell of a lot of worse ones too.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Sometimes all you need is a good ol' coffee shop au tbh.

[adore-gregor]

ayyy

[zemnarihah]

do i even care. right now no. i can't i can't even focus on anything. ig i'll be upset later but also i feel like i saw this coming

[pinkished]

the hozier concert for this wednesday was cancelled 🥹💔

i'm sure it'll be rescheduled or smth but i hope hozier himself feels better soon!! not to sound like... stalker-ish but he's looked a little under the weather from recent photos, i hope he knows he's loved and is resting 💖💖💖

[vaguely-functional-directions]

.

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

I just saw ur tags and I'm sending love!! hope u feel better soon <3333

Thank you! 💕💕💕 My voice has been out and I'm waiting on that first paycheck from the new job 🥴 so I'm just trying to chill out for a bit. There hasn't been a lot of time for art with my work days but I'm trying to figure out how to change that, I don't think I can go very long without drawing!

[atlxolotl]

Transcript and links to Reddit under the Read more:

I miss my husband so goddamn much

February 27th, 2025

I (35M) divorced my husband (36M) three years ago. And God, I miss him. I asked for a divorce for a few reasons, most of which being that his depression got exponentially worse day after day and he refused to seek treatment. Sometimes he wouldn't even go into work and ended up getting fired from his job. I stayed with him for so fucking long, praying that one day he would start trying to get better. It was all I ever wanted, but that day didn't come. I sobbed the entire time signing those papers, and when I handed them to him and asked for a divorce, he just gave me the emptiest, deadest look and signed them without a word. My heart felt like it had been shattered with a hammer, anger and sadness and fear tied together in the world's tightest, ugliest knot and inset deep into my chest.

I put on a brave face for my friends, tried to frame it as shackles coming off and a new beginning, but it was a lie. It just hurt, and it keeps hurting, and it will never stop hurting. He was my soulmate. I'll never love anyone like I loved him. He used to be so sweet and loving, so passionate and happy and every other wonderful thing a man could want from another.

They say each day gets easier, but it isn't for me. It's been three years and I'm still reaching over to the other side of the bed in the morning to pull him close, and it always stings when my hands touch fabric and not his skin. It's been three years and I'm still expecting to see his car in the driveway when I get home from work. It's been three years and my heart isn't any less broken than the day he left.

I've been stalking his socials, I'll admit. He's been getting back to the gym, started meds, and I see him smiling so genuinely in these photos. He looks so incredible. Maybe if I had just waited, he would have changed his mind and went to a doctor like he is now? Or was it me that held him down? Was I making it worse?

I hope not. I wanna go over to his place and just fall into his arms and beg him to take me back. Maybe he's wishing the same thing about me. If there's even a chance I could have my boy back I feel like I should try. I'll never know otherwise.

EDIT: One: I am a homosexual man. My husband is a homosexual man. I am not a woman. Yes, I know I'm effeminate and kind of emotional. Get creative.

Two: my husband was a binge drinker. He refused treatment no matter how much I begged. We got antidepressants but he wouldn't take them. I know he's started meds now because he's posted about them and his 2 yrs sober chip that he got last month.

Three: I never stopped loving him. I never loved him any less. Near the end of our marriage, I started drinking to cope. The second I realized I was, I realized he was dragging me down with him, and I couldn't help him anymore. I didn't dip the second it got hard. Many of you are being kind of rude. I'll accept that I wasn't the perfect husband, nobody is. But claims that I never loved him are just wrong and make me feel sick to my stomach.

EDIT 2: No, I am not the catalyst for this. His depression started when his young brother died terribly and unexpectedly. It's not because he just hated me so much. We were childhood sweethearts and had been together for years when this happened.

[UPDATE] I met my husband that I divorced 3 years ago

March 2nd, 2025

Well, with Reddit's advice, I did it. A few days ago, I called my (35M) ex-husband (36M) whom I divorced after 6 years when he refused to seek treatment for his depression.

I called him later in the evening. It was the first time we'd spoken since a bit of trouble he'd had while he was still drinking 2 1/2 years ago. He picked up on the second ring. Our conversation was a little stilted at first, as to be expected, but he said he was really glad to hear from me. We ended up meeting up for coffee yesterday as so many of you suggested. I'll admit: it was kind of hard to see him, but in a good way? He looked so much better than the last time I had seen him, but he looked exactly like the man I married. He had put off a ton of weight (he gained like 75ish pounds during his struggle with depression, and before some dick says so, I didn't leave him because of his weight gain), he looked way healthier and very put together. I'll just say it: he looked incredibly hot. What made it hard was that I couldn't kiss him hello like I used to. But God, the way his eyes lit up when he saw me, I barely needed to.

We got our coffee and sat, and he updated me a little on his life in the last 3 years.

What really turned his life around was in part the divorce but moreso a DUI (nobody was hurt, he was caught a few blocks from his apartment). He's since gone to rehab and AA, gotten his license back, and had to use a breathalyzer whenever he started his car for a while. He hasn't had a drop of alcohol since and I told him I was so fucking proud of him. He's also started antidepressants, and made a point of telling me that they're not SSRIs, but when I asked what that meant he got embarrassed and told me nevermind (???). Bottom line is that they've been helping him, he's back to being a gym rat, and he's almost completely turned his life around. This was around the point I started tearing up. It just felt so good knowing he was okay. Better than okay, he was *good*.

I also apologized to him for not sticking by him. He cut me off and said I had nothing to apologize for. He was a wreck, and I was being dragged down with him. That also felt good to hear. I apologized for not contacting him much during the last 3 years. That apology, he accepted.

He was dating someone for a few months, too. He broke up with him once he tried to get him to drink on New Year's. He seemed dismissive of the guy. Guess it wasn't too serious.

We got up and went on a walk after a few hours, and I think we both realized it felt like a first date. I had to stop myself from trying to hold his hand at a few points, I'll admit. We ended up sitting on a bench in a nearby park, and I confessed.

I told him I missed him more than anything, how I never stopped loving him, and how if he wanted to, I'd love to try again from the beginning this time. We'd go to couples' therapy, keep our heads above the water, and take it slow. He was quiet for a minute before he told me something. He said he was doing better now, but there may be a time where he sunk low again. Depression isn't easily cured, and he was far from cured. He still had bad days, but he said there would be one difference: he promised he would never stop trying to improve. He was never going to give up like he did before, and refused to neglect me like he used to. If I was willing to accept that truth, he was willing to try again. I agreed, and he pulled me into an embrace and snuck a kiss to my temple. You know when it's the first warm day of spring after a cold, harsh winter, and the soft breeze and basking sun hit your skin at the same time? It felt something like that, to the 1000th degree. After a while he walked me back to my car and squeezed my hand goodbye, and the second I got inside I started sobbing like a baby. Happy tears, though.

I'm currently sitting in bed, kicking my feet like a teenage girl, texting him back and forth to schedule an actual date. He said he'd plan everything, and try his best to make up for the birthdays and anniversaries he missed. He said it would "knock my socks off." What a dork. I love being in love. Not gonna lie, this is gonna be a bit hard to explain to my friends and family. Not looking forward to those conversations, but right now I don't care. My man loves me.

Thank you to everyone who had kind words to say, and all the people that messaged me with sympathy and advice. I hope we all find happiness, and love if we want it. I never would have made the leap if y'all hadn't encouraged me. Best of luck to all of you, and sorry for the overly flowery language <3

EDIT: we've scheduled a date for tomorrow evening. I'll let people know how it went two days from now in my final (unless something big happens) update.

EDIT 2: at his place presently. Shame me not, reddit.

[FINAL UPDATE] I went on a date with my ex-husband last night

March 5th, 2025

My (35M) ex-husband (36M) and I recently reconnected. I won't go over the details of why we split or our reconciliation since I'm sure the average redditor can click buttons and most likely read. He was the one taking me out, and promised that it would, in his words, "knock my socks off" to make up for his neglect of me. He sure as hell delivered.

A little backstory, we've been together since we were 15 and 16 respectively, and have never moved out of our hometown. This year would have been our 20th anniversary (of getting together, not marriage). We were dating secretly for about five years before our parents caught us one day during summer break. The fallout from finding out their son was gay actually made his parents split. His dad wanted to send him away to conversion therapy. He's seen his father maybe once per year on average, and every time he's incredibly cold towards me. Would never refer to me as his son-in-law, only my husband's "pal." I wonder why. Anyway, not what you're here to read. I'll get on with the lore.

He picked me up from the house and wouldn't tell me where we were going, but told me to dress warmly. He ended up taking me to the place where we met: a run down ice skating rink in our town. He used to do hockey, and I spent some time trying to learn figure skating until people started beating me up for it. Both sports would practice at the same time and I remember barely being able to keep my eyes off him. We went skating, I tried to pull off a few of the moves I remembered (he only had to catch me from falling on my ass once or twice, and I won't complain about an attractive man that I love hooking his arm around my waist), and we spent an hour or so there until our feet hurt. At one point I said that my face was getting cold, so he skated around in front of me and placed his gloved hands on my cheeks to warm me up. I just about burned a hole in the ice from how hard I was blushing, I swear to God.

He wasn't done then. We left and went to dinner, specifically the restaurant where we had our first date. It's a cheap hole-in-the-wall place, seeing as we were poor teenagers when we first met. We chatted and ate food that probably took 5 years off our lives, he was an incorrigible flirt, and even held my hand underneath the table like he did all those years ago. I know I said I never stopped loving him, and I stand by that, but I think I somehow fell in love with him a thousand times over again during that meal.

At the end of dinner, he asked if I had energy for one more simple thing, to which I agreed. He took me a while out of town to a dark sky zone park, specifically the one where he proposed to me ten years ago. He set out a blanket to sit on and another to cuddle under, and we went stargazing all bundled up together. You never know how much you miss the sound of someone's heartbeat until you haven't heard it for so long. We shared a bottle of sparkling grape juice in plastic champagne flutes and dumb, giggly kisses. It felt so similar yet so different. He told me in a moment of quiet that he loved me, and oh, God. It took everything I had not to cry. I barely hesitated before asking if he wanted to change venues. He seemed surprised, but eagerly accepted.

I ended up at his place, as some of you may have seen from my edit on my second post yesterday. I wanted to take it slower than this, but it was so hard to. I was so starved of affection and hadn't been intimate with anyone for just about six years. I'm gonna keep what happened at his between us, but all I'll say is that his medication was no issue and all of you should be jealous. I woke up in his bed this morning, reached over for him, and pulled him close just like I used to do. I haven't been this happy in a long time. We had a sleepy discussion and decided to get back together, but we're not using the term boyfriends. It just feels weird after all this time. So he's my partner, or my lover. He's mine.

Thank you, reddit. Wouldn't have done it without a little push from the internet. Let's see where all this goes.

[swankpalanquin]

my flu shot is starting to flu... or whatever

[queenerdloser]

i picked an apartment (NOT the church remodel one lmao) and signed my lease and i have a car now so most of what was stressing me out this month is now wrapped up, which explains why my body decided i had Done Enough and gave me a head cold to force me to rest in bed.

[cesium-sheep]

we already talked about it in september and it was an option then for him and the cats and I to stay here for a while while she ran out ahead with a cheap furnished studio. there is no reason that can't be an option in march if it needs to be. I probably won't really be medically stable enough to move and start all over again by june anyway.

I'm very sad and it's all very hard and all I can do is sit here and watch and try to steer her right even though she can't hear me. I just wanna get to be together with my partners and not have to move all the fucking time. that's all I want out of this. (and access to doctors who won't actively make me worse I guess.) but she has Career Aspirations that we're supposed to facilitate however we can, that might put the two of them in different places again.

[ms-spkhd]

It's not like there's anything inherently wrong with Steve. Just...weird. Odd. A wealth of other various synonyms to describe his decidedly bizarre behavior.

Well, Bizarre's a strong word.

But Eddie's point still stands! Steve's a little to the left and it makes Eddie feel endlessly awkward for noticing. The fact that he's uncomfortable about it compounds his unease over it.

"Wanna talk about it, then?" Jeff asks, riffling idly through the record crate. Of course, the one day off they spend window-shopping in Indianapolis results in Eddie getting the fucking 'let's discuss our feelings about things' talk from Jeff. He wonders how the man isn't green with sickness from therapizing all the goddamn time.

Eddie rolls his eyes. "I'd look like an idiot."

"Would the idiot keep running or confront his problems head-on?"

"This feels like a trap."

"Oh yeah," Jeff says simply.

"Like the ones with the cardboard box and the stick."

"Pre-cisely."

Eddie's shoulders slump in defeat. Better the idiot who speaks, he supposes. "He's very smiley about me being gay."

"Smiley."

"Smiley. As in he's acting like I vomit flowers and shit rainbows." Eddie shakes his head in frustration. "I'm not opposed to the support and everything...it's just that. He's like an octave higher than usual about it."

Jeff purses his lips in thought. "Like, his voice?"

"No--like...like, he's very enthusiastic about my sexuality."

Eddie leans back against the shelf behind him. Steve's a nice guy, really, but the way he goes about his support of Eddie feels like he's trying to compensate for something. A lack of empathy when he was younger, perhaps.

"He always asks if I have a boyfriend, or if I've been hooking up with any guys lately--which, hello, does he not know that queer metalhead nerd isn't a very hot item here?"

Jeff pulls a face but nods in understanding.

"And when I tell him obviously no, he says he can hook me up with his, what? Fucking father's brother's cousin's former roommate? It's like he's begging for a double date with him and his new squeeze, it's goddamn ridiculous." "New squeeze?"

"I'm hyperbolizing." Eddie blows a raspberry and shrugs. "He says it's sad that I don't have someone for how good-looking I am. You're making the face again."'

Jeff snaps out of whatever trance he's in, his drawn eyebrows shooting up to his hairline in surprise. After his gawking mouth clacks shut, he cautiously gestures at Eddie to continue.

"It's stupid," Eddie concedes, "but I really don't understand what changed, y'know? He used to be this cool, confident guy with a dorky side, but now he's just so...I don't know."

Jeff smiles lightly and knocks Eddie's shoulder with his. "I have a theory."

"Go on."

"I think Steve isn't being supportive."

"Uh-huh."

"Far from it, actually."

"Yeah. Whatever you say, chief."

"He isn't smothering you," Jeff points out. "He wants to fuck you."

Eddie blinks. Takes a moment to access and really take in what Jeff just said. "What?"

"Or at least, he wants you in an entirely non-friendly and possibly even carnal way."

"Excuse me?"

"Biblically."

"Dude," Eddie insists. "What. The. Fuck."

Jeff raises his hands placatingly. "Steve clearly likes you. A lot. He probably sees you being gay as an in for him."

"Okay, well, I don't understand. He tries to set me up with randos he knows all the time."

"He called you good-looking."

"While he was trying to set me up with said rando!"

"Guys like him have a really backward way of doing things." Eddie crosses his arms sternly. "Or he's straight," he says.

"Again," Jeff asserts. "Good. Looking. Dude, he's fucking obsessed with you! You said he's an octave higher around you now, right?"

"Because he's a well-meaning friend?"

"Eddie, remember when he crashed band practice last week?"

Oh yeah, Eddie remembers that. The man of the hour randomly parked in Gareth's driveway, leaned against his Beemer with his arms crossed, and watched Eddie play like he fucking hung the moon. Afterward, he'd sung his praises for the band and gave Eddie a yellow guitar pick attached to a sparkling silver chain. "Found the pick a couple of towns south with Robin the other day. Reminded me of you," he said softly. "Since you lost your last one."

It went unspoken where Eddie lost 'the last one'.

Eddie remembers smiling back at Steve with the force of a thousand supernovas, and thinking later in the night that it felt like a scene from a romance movie. Steve's favorite color is yellow, isn't it? It was like he wanted a piece of himself with Eddie at all times, right next to his heart.

Eddie didn't want to give himself that stupid hope. That Steve Harrington wanted in on his heart.

It doesn't feel so stupid anymore.

He looks back at Jeff and says, "Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

Part two

[napalmtears]

I miss him more than life...

[suiana]

yandere! dragon hybrid who's been ostracized since birth. his father fell for a dragon and his mother died during child birth. it's been him and his father since and things with the rest of society haven't been good. after all dragon-human relationships are taboo and you know how people are with those deemed weird.

yandere! dragon hybrid who's bullied and left out. no matter how hard he tries, it's never enough. people are heartless, even if his father tries to tell him otherwise. how can you change the foundations of society? when all humans are taught that dragons are dangerous and a threat to mankind. poor little dragon, left to deal with life all alone... then he met you :3

"why're you crying?" huh? is someone talking to him? he quickly wipes away the tears, sniffling softly as he musters up a small smile. can't show anyone he's hurt. it'll just worsen things and he doesn't want his father to worry. "n-nope! not at all!" "you're lying!" the young dragon can only watch in silence as your tiny hands rub at his wet cheeks, your warm body fitting snugly by his side. huh... this feels nice. is this what it's like to have a friend? do you want you be friends? "don't cry! crying is bad because it means you're sad." you pause before grinning at him. for a moment, the little boy feels his heart skip a beat. is this normal? is he sick? he hopes not. he doesn't wanna be sick, not when he finally feels wanted by someone. "you can come to me if you're sad! I'll make you happy!"

yandere! dragon hybrid who grows up by your side as your best friend. you two are both adults now and you're the only one who's been nice to him. even when he's tried befriending others, none are as sweet or as welcoming as you are. it hurt at first but he's learned to accept it. it's okay if others are mean, you're by his side, and that's all that matters.

"you're my best friend." best friend. somehow, that title is a little irritating to him. but he pushes it aside. why would it be annoying? it must just be him overthinking things again. no one's going to steal you away from him. "yeah, you're my best friend too." the dragon feels his heart flutter again. oh, your sweet smile and beautiful voice... how he wants to capture this moment and put it on repeat for eternity. sure, the best friend thing is still off-putting but like, you're here! that's all that matters. he'd give up everything for you, you know? but then you just have to go and mess it up by running to that boy again. "again?" he feels his annoyance spike again. it's like the best friend title but worse. this... this boy. you've been getting too close to him lately. all you ever do is gush about him when you get the chance and it's starting to get on his nerves. you don't get this excited talking to someone who's 'just a friend'. "mhm! sorry, I'll be back tomorrow!" and off you go, running along with that nobody and leaving him in the dust. best friend? hah! that's it. he's made up his mind about this... issue. you're being stolen away from him and he's going to fix it. don't worry, you only need him anyway. who needs another friend when you have him?

yandere! dragon hybrid who's turned out to be rather possesive. he's decided he doesn't want to be just friends anymore and now he's making sure you see that. by killing off that guy you're crushing on, of course. i mean, what better way than to show you?

"get away from me!" he pouts. you've never screamed at him before. is it because he's dirty? well, he supposes that he is covered in blood. does it stink? "I'm sorry, I'll clean up and we can go for ice cream-" "ice cream?! you think we can just go back to being normal after you- you killed him?!" oh, you're really mad. the dragon's smile falters and he lowers his clenched fist. what to do... what to do... he really doesn't like making you upset. he remembers throwing your toy away once and you ignored him for a whole week! he never wants to experience that again! "I'm sorry... what do you want me to do? how do i make up for it?" he smiles again. ah, right. maybe he can just get rid of another pest that's been annoying you? perhaps that guy that's been looking at you funny? maybe you'd like it? "no! you can't make it up to me! he's dead god damnit! you're a murderer! just piss off and leave me alone!" silence. then he's caging you against a wall. his eyes are wide, face completely devoid of his usual smile and warmth as he keeps you trapped between him and the cold wall. he can't let you escape. he won't let you. you're his. "you're mine, remember? my best friend." best friend... he doesn't like the sound of that anymore. it's too... how do you say it. too small of a title. too small to encapsulate how he feels about you. "i want all of you, darling."

yandere! dragon hybrid who finally has you. yay! you're his now! sure you might be a little snappy but that's alright! you'll warm up to him again and you two will be happy together! only this time, you're not just friends anymore.

"oh piss off. i don't need you staring at me 24/7." it's been like this for a few days now and your dragon's feeling a little down. he knows that humans are emotional. hell, he's half of a human! but he really misses how you used to treat him and he just wants you to smile at him again. "I'm sorry..." what does he say now? you're mad at him and clearly don't want him to bother you. is it because he took you to his secret hide out? he hasn't told you about this place before because he wanted to surprise you. but clearly you aren't happy :( "you're just really beautiful." he means it. you're the stars, the flowers, and everything that's beautiful in this world. if he had it his way, you'd be the face of beauty anywhere and everywhere. the dragon looks up and freezes. is that... a blush he sees? "...flattery will get you no where." god! you're blushing AND saying that! it feels like heaven's blessing him! "a-ah..." he stammers and looks away, rubbing his fingers together. inside, his heart is thumping and his brain is racing with imaginary scenarios. soon, you'll want him to compliment you! and then- "my mate." god, he hopes that day comes soon. to call you his mate... that would be a dream.