#I'm sick and not doing homework
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*Fluffy Shirts your pirates*
#I'm sick and not doing homework#luffy turned out cute here#one piece#monkey d. luffy#one piece fan art#portgas d ace#roronoa zoro#cat burglar nami#nico robin#trafalgar law
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i have. too many things to do.
#and of course what i WANT to do is write fanfic and read the ten different books i want to read and make art just for fun#and also be a couch potato and watch youtube videos for a couple hours with no guilt#but i was sick for a week and that's a week's worth of missed classes and homework i'm now trying to catch up on#in addition to new stuff#and i was already falling a bit behind in a couple classes because they don't have enough structure for me#and like. i'm managing. i'm getting stuff done.#but it's exhausting to know that tomorrow when i only have to go to one class i will be spending all day on homework#....i need to not tell myself that. i need to build in space for breaks or i will burn myself out#i do not want to be at risk of burnout in the first month of school with an intentionally very low courseload#this is just. so frustrating and stressful#and i'm coping. but i wish i didn't have to#vent#school stress#stars rambles#i am somewhat grateful that needing something to wind down from homework with has made me excited to write fic for the first time in months#but the downside of that is that i do not have enough time right now
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mentally spraying myself with a bottle of water like a misbehaving cat because i just caught myself thinking "which novel should i write next?" when i'm 1 chapter away from being done the current one and still haven't adjusted to being back in school
#BESTIE STOP IT YOU CANNOT KEEP DOING THIS#you've got lectures you've got readings and papers#you cannot start another novel not right now#oooooooooohmy god but i could finish wolf peach at last........... NO STOP IT 🔫🔫🔫#not art#i don't even have time to draw why tf do i think i have time to start another novel i stg#also i will draw soon these past 2 weeks have also been hell#got my tablet set up in the new apartment and everything#and then had a huge mess with enrollment that saw me trying to catch up with a course 2 weeks in that i ultimately dropped#and then i've been sick all this week#and all my free time is devoted to unpacking because i'm still not done and relationship stuff because relationships take time and investme#who knew#but anyways i now have a surprise 4 day weekend so hopefully i'll be able to get some drawing in around catching up#with lectures and homework and rehearsal and that party and
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VARGASTOBER - day 5 : devi d .
#sunny's art#vargastober#vargastober2023#jthm#i feel sick#devi#devi d.#YES . I DID ENJOY MAKING THIS ONE . AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY NOTICED .#it's probably becaUse I'M NOT SICK ANYMORE !!!!#but . that means . i'll have to get back to school . tomorrow .#jake's my favorite character and i probably won't be able to draw something nice and pretty for him on time :(#i was supposed to do my homework today and it's already 8PM 😍😍#dddeeevvviiiii 😍#i've been . sitting here . for the past 6 hours .#the fact that i drew TWO things for devi but i didn't draw anything for scriabin is fucking hilarious .#my back hurts like HELL#FIRST TIME I DO ONE OF THESE ON TIME#feels GREAT#i love u devi d .#i want you forever and ever .#nobody's gonna take you away from me . nobody .#/copypasta
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literally evil for my sacred texts professor to assign a two hour movie. i would not sit down to watch a two hour movie for pleasure much less for class
#AND fifty pages of reading. does she hate me or something#hate her and her stupid discussion posts that are only open for two days before they're due#who does that. who posts the homework as a discussion title (read so and so chapter)#and then doesn't open that discussion so that you can see the actual prompts until monday.#and then that discussion post (actually a small paper) is due TUESDAY NIGHT???#what if i didn't want to write a paper on monday fucking night salah. what would i do then.#anyway curses and curses and curses#i'll watch it on two times speed but i have so much other shit to do and i'm so tired...#still sick btw and severely dehydrated i've felt lightheaded and dizzy every time i've stood up today :(#valentine notes
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not only did I wash allll the dishes, I reorganized our drinking glass/mug/water bottle cupboard to fit literally everything much better. and deep cleaned 3 bongs. and cleaned the counter that Everything gets put on.
#I'm so tired and my legs and knees and ankles hurt but I don't feel quite as bad as I did yesterday at this point#but I feel so satisfied by everything I got done- it really#REALLY#needed to be done#tomorrow I'm gonna try to sweep and maybe mop the kitchen + bathroom and get the garbage out#I ♡ being productive#like I. oh yeah I absolutely know I am overdoing it but you have to understand that I have had#z e r o left over energy since the beginning of september to do this#and I take a lot of pride in keeping my home tidy. and also get so overstimulated by clutter#I haven't had the chance to overdo it like this cleaning on weekends because I always need to prioritize homework#I do. have homework for sure that I need to do. and I will do some of it tomorrow#also if I keep getting more sick I'm gonna be glad I got the kitchen clean.
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uh oh ! looks like my actions (getting soaked in the rain and having to stay soaked for three hours) led to some consequences (i feel sick) !!
#ARGH it was raining so hard this morning it was insane#and now i feel like i'm dying#but i have homework to do so i can't feel sick#life man....
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trying to draw smth emotional when having flat and shallow emotions yourself fucking sucks
#drew 3 sketches but in the end they didn't make me feel anything beside the sickening emptiness#it's as if you asked someone who's never seen some thing draw this thing#you can never get it right#I'm bad w artistic comparisons or whatever it's called in english#may post them later or not idk I don't feel like posti my drawings now I'm having a massive crisis and idk if I'm ever gonna b over it#I don't fw art school homework#literally forcing art out of yourself feels horrible like ur not a person but a factory#a mechanism without feelings and emotions whose only option is: p.e.r.f.e.c.t.i.o.n#and practice#how can I practice if I can't feel a thing and everything makes me sick everyone makes me sick I want a way out#drawing doesn't save me anymore#doesn't provide a way out#thank you art school#it's not a confort hobbie to relax it's something that makes me fell stressed and sick and worthless#losing passion for the only thing you loved doing is... frustrating at least#smells.like.a.freakshow
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just let me be ugly, i ask. the world shouts, my friends shout, "no!!! you're pretty!!! you're gorgeous!!!" i want to scream. rip my hair out. shatter my mirror. please, i beg. please let me live without the pressure. the expectation. please just let me be ugly.
#there's nothing wrong with being ugly sometimes#i don't want to have to live up to the expectation of pretty when i'm at home#when i'm sick#when i'm showering or playing football or doing homework#if i want to feel pretty i can#but don't force it onto me#please#please i am begging
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FINISHED MY OCHEM HW AND I'M GONNA PLAY SOME P3 AS A LITTLE TREAT
#squishy talks too much#squishy plays p3#nobody cares but i'm happy so. heeeeyyyy#3 day weekend with nothing immediately due yippeeeeee#so i can probably get right to shinji showing up permanently today#bc I Think I Am Done Homeworking#my brain is mush and tylenol is keeping me alive rn bc i feel a bit sick today#holding his hand is my reward for making it through this week fr#i'm excited for his social link i am probs gonna. rewrite rank 10 to Suit My Tastes More which i am excited to do
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uuuUUGHGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
#vents 🌧️#I'm so fucking MAD#I've been seeing SO many fucking valentines day drawings today and I wanted to join in so badly#but I have my stupid fucking homework#and my mom said that if I get my homework done I can have 'a few minutes' of time#A FEW FUCKING MINUTES#yeah. great. so I can make a shitty doodle that nobody bothers to interact with#on the ONE fucking day I was hoping to get some attention#is that selfish? yeah it absolutely is. but I don't care. everybody's so fucking sick of me in real life#is it so bad that I want everyone to see me here? everyone to tell me how good I'm doing#I just want people to tell me I'm doing a good job#I'm failing all my classes in school. I have a terrible social life. I fall asleep constantly and I'm never fun to be around irl#all my parents do is nag me to do the homework I have no willpower to do and yell at each other outside my door#I'm doing a really shitty fucking job in real life. maybe if I got some imaginary fucking internet points I'd feel a little better#I don't care if it's selfish. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel admired. I want everyone to see me and think I'm doing so good#I've got nothing else. art's the last thing I'm good at. it's so fucking over for me. this is it.#it's rock bottom isn't it? my meds still aren't working. my dad is relentless in his anger. my mom is at her wits end#my friends at school give me maybe half of the love I give them if I get really lucky#my teachers are so fucking tired of me#who the fuck gives a shit anymore. this all feels so fucking pointless#who cares about regents or sats or college or jobs or anything. that's it. I give up. this is it for me.#I don't know how it's supposed to get better.#I'm so fucking sorry. I'm liveblogging an absolute spiral on here. I'm so sorry#if you read all the way down to here.. I'm not in trouble. I'm not going to do anything bad. you don't have to worry about me.#I'm just. so. tired.#I should probably delete this later.
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*Slides this under your door*
#I punched law in the face#thats my explanation for the bottom left#I'm still sick and still not doing my homework#just my random little doodles#I like dressing Zoro up#who needs barbie when you have Zoro#one piece#one piece fan art#monkey d. luffy#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#traflagar law
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i was sick the first couple weeks of january and i just keep... not recovering? like i'll be 99% better and then undergo stress and then i'm waking up with a bad cough again. like i think i need to stay in bed another week. but i can't now because i have work and school
#should i tell my husband i don't want to visit his grandma today#because i need to do my homework#i think that would be bad. we have not visited her yet this year#btw i'm. pretty certain i'm no longer contagious??? based on my knowledge of how sickness works#that would be so bad if i was still. i have been so many places#my husband hasn't gotten sick tho and he stopped keeping his distance a couple weeks ago#not to tmi but we do kiss. on the mouth. sometimes#so i think if anyone was gonna get sick from me. it would be him
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*grabs your face* look at me. listen to me. never accept a job that has unstructured hours. you will want to throw your phone and also your boss into the river
#speak friend and enter#i just. oooOOOOOOOuUUghghhg#the minute the SECOND i leave class my supervisor calls me and demands i work with her on something that will inevitably#take up the entire evening and i am SICK of it#like just because i'm not actively in class doesn't mean i'm not busy! i have to eat! i have to do laundry! i have to do homework!#and the work isn't even really what i signed up to do. i signed up to help on film sets but i'm writing fucking financial docs all day#and i don't know dick about shit when it comes to financing an organization like that's not what i'm here for!! augh!! wilhelm scream!!!#and i can't quit either bc i'm doing this for credit. hellfire
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does anyone want to hear me talk about the natsume harem
#leo composes#thinking about them again. this polycule can contain so much autism#i'm. Bored <- sick and unableto do homework but coherent enough to write fic and not just sleep the whole day
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I am seriously considering watching an episode of Community instead of listening to the new dndads episode
#it's easier to fall asleep to (I am fr sick actually I do have a fr fever it's not just the sun and allergies)#(I'm not allowed to do any more homework because I need to go to the SAT tomorrow so which media can I consume in a more mindless manner)#and also I have a plane ride literally like three days before the next ep of dndads comes out so.#I'm thinking I'll save this one for the plane ride up and the Next new one for the plane ride back#planning ahead babey
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