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thepixelelf · 3 months ago

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hiii thank you for the advice ursa!! as for the situation I’ll tell you about it.

It’s about my older sister more than anyone else in my family. When I say like I have to work my schedule even life around hers I truly do mean it. I basically didn’t get to choose the program of study i originally wanted bc it was an hour away and since she was going to start her externship before I did, she thought it was inconvenient for me to do that bc she needs someone to drop off & pick up my nephew from school. This part I get a bit yk but it’s just unfair to me bc now I’m being forced to study something I didn’t want in the first place. I talked to her about this before but she always says the same thing “it’s too far I think you should stick to the program that’s 20 minutes away instead.” This is a huge reason why I don’t want to/ I’m scared to speak up for myself bc I feel like my feelings don’t matter. And not to mention I’ve been putting off all of the perquisite courses that I have to take in person because of her as well. I could’ve been done with my prereqs a year ago if it wasn’t for her. She thinks my school is far from our house (it’s only like 20 minutes away) but it’s inconvenient for her bc she wants me to take care of my nephew all the time. I’m not even kidding sometimes she’ll go out w my brother in law for hours and she’ll leave my nephew w me. In the rare cases she does take him w her as soon as they get home she’ll make a comment somewhere along the line of “it’s your turn to watch him” like wdym he’s not my child?!!

For the part of my homework, I don’t put off family time just for homework if anything it’s the complete opposite. I usually always put off doing homework because someone needs something and in most cases it’s my older sister. This past May I was really busy doing homework bc it was the last few weeks of school. she would make snarky comments like “you’re doing homework AGAIN” or “oh here we go again, we’re just gonna see you on your laptop all day.” Mind you these were assignments I couldn’t put off. I had 2 papers worth like half of my grade and on top of that a presentation for another class and I also had to study for final exams. Her problem is that she depends on me too much to help her with my nephew. I love him more than anything but sometimes I can’t even enjoy my days or even vacation bc she constantly wants me to watch him. I swear to you there’s times when I take care of him more than she does in a week.

I could keep going on and on about this but they’re all similar situations just in different ways. I guess what I’m saying is that I of course want to have a conversation with her about it but I know she’s going to find a way to turn this on me. If not she’s going to make me feel guilty about even bringing anything up (I know this from past experiences). It’s a very difficult situation and I wish I would stop worrying so much about her feelings instead of mine.

I’m so exhausted and mentally drained but I truly do appreciate you helping me out with this ursa, it means so much. 🩷

I am saying this completely genuinely: switch to your first choice program of study. It is doing no one any good if you are studying something you don't like when you could have an academic career you DO want. If it's possible to make the switch (and I mean possible as in your school lets you, not whether anyone else thinks you shouldn't) I say do it. Better to make the change now rather than regret an entire degree later. To be able to get post secondary education is already an incredible opportunity, and you should be allowed to use it to study what YOU want to study. It's YOUR future, not anyone else's.

If you have trouble justifying/explaining to your family/sister, I'd suggest talking about it like this:

(Using my program/career as a placeholder)

“If I'm going to be a [professional stage manager], then I need to go to this university/college/school and take this [technical theatre stage management] program that they offer.” And back it up with, “This is the field of study I want to work in, and I won't have the career I want if I'm doing the program that is ‘more convenient’.”

Obviously that alone isn't enough but I can assure you that you can and should take the study program you want to take. Look into what it would be like to transit daily to that 1 hour away school, and at the same time look into dormitories/roommates/on and off campus living for that school. 1 hour away is actually pretty significant, BUT worth it in the long run if you do the work to find what is viable for you.

Please know that I am open to continuing talking with you about this bc I understand that it's not always easy to stand up for yourself (especially in cases of family) and this post might not be enough to fully convince you. I just really think you deserve better and I want you to live the life you wanna live!!

Also— your 4 year old nephew is not your responsibility! As a 22 year old aunt, being available to pick up your nephew from school if one of his parents were suddenly unavailable would be a normal level of favour to do for your sister. Picking him up from school every single day is not. Yes, a 4yo can't be left alone, but either your 28yo sister or 30yo brother in law need to be able to take care of that!!!!! THEY chose to be parents so THEY need to take responsibility. Either they have to figure out a way to pick him up, or they can look into a daycare service or babysitters. You are not a free babysitter!

I understand that living with them gives way to a different dynamic, but think about it this way: if you had 0% input on whether or not this child was going to exist, then you take 0% responsibility for their care. Of course you can offer to help watch this child from time to time, but it never was and never should have been your duty!! Like it's honestly ridiculous for these two grown adults to expect you to watch their child that often! You are still so young!!!!!!!! 22 is legally an adult yes but like!! Barely!!! You're still in school and have so much ahead of you and ugh!!! This made me heated!!

I think a huge part of this is that you need to start believing that your feelings matter, anon, because they really do. Tell anyone else about your situation and they'll tell you the same thing I am. You matter!

#PLEASE dm me or send more asks if you wnat help talking to your sister bc im rooting for you now.#you can talk to me any time #asks #anonymous

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liptonsbabe · 4 years ago

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Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Summary: Molly thinks that Bill’s and the reader relationship is a mistake so she wants them apart from each other. Bill’s against his mother wishes and he find a way to drag the reader into the Weasley family officialy

Word count: 1.9K

Warnings: none

A/N: Hi! Part 4 of this thing lol. I’m so happy that you guys like this story. It’ll have like 20 chapters or so, i’m still deciding that so yeah, that’s pretty much the thing. Btw, from now on chapters will be more interestings... i hope so lol. Again, english not my mother language. Please let me know if something’s wrong. Aaaaaand if you want to be tagged in the next chapters tell me and i will add you! Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Arguments

The rest of the afternoon passed as normal as the days before your arrival. Arthur Weasley made sure of it. Even if Molly attacked you with her dagger gaze when you and Bill hugged each other after you were done with dessert.

You didn’t know what Mr. Weasley had talked about with his wife while you were taking a shower, however, you noticed the tension rising from their bodies after you sat down at the table next to Bill and saw an annoyance sign on Molly’s lips. Her temple was frowned, reminding you of your own mother's gestures. Those flaming eyes, cleft chin, and pinion lips. Both women contract their features too much when they were upset and in your distress, you knew that they must not be disturbed.

The last thing you wanted was to hurt a marriage as solid as the Weasley's. More than once you heard your mother talk about it with your nanny making a powerful emphasis on how Molly and Arthur were able to carry out their marriage even if their economic conditions were precarious and the war was on their heels. They were an envied couple. Few dared to expand the family as much as they did without money in their pockets and spreading their progeny like a plague. No one was surprised, not even your mother, not when her marriage to Evan Grant was merely for financial advantage. Now Arthur and Molly looked upset, too upset for your understanding and you just hoped they could get along soon.

You weren't sure you deserved the sacrifice Bill's father had made for you, yet a flame of hope lit up in your chest. If Mr. Weasley started to trust you that was a good sign for others to do as well, right?

The afternoon continued as normal, seeing how Bill's plans to distract you from the fervent harassment of his mother was marred by the twins intervention. They had just finished a new product for their store and needed a good taster to certify the quality of their merchandise. It was a bad idea, he told himself, because twins were just a disaster and you didn't know them well enough to deny their good-natured pretensions.

"Be kind!" He yelled at them as Fred and George pulled you into their. Bill exhaled, pleading that his brothers wouldn't bother his girlfriend more than his mother already had.

Before taking you home, he thought about the pros and cons of your stay in the burrow. His conclusion was based on the fact that his entire family welcomed Harry Potter with open arms, so you didn't have to be the exception. He knew the difference in conditions in which his theory developed, yet he put his trust in the good judgment of his family even if the Grants' past left much to be desired. Bill didn't talk much about you with his mother, in fact, your presence at home was the last of his worries, the real problem came at the time of joining the Order of the Phoenix, would you be willing to fight against your relatives even if that mean betraying your own blood? Bill hope you will

Coming downstairs, Bill found his mother storing the leftover food in the fridge while the dishes soaked in the sink. Then he watched her clean each plate with her bare hands, no magic. William knew his anger was real.

"Want some help with that?"

"I'd love to, honey, thank you," his mother answered without looking at him. Bill raised the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, dipping his hands into the tide of water and bubbles that flew across the kitchen. Molly was silent, drying the dishes and flying them to her place in the display case across the kitchen. Bill cleared his throat doubtfully "It never hurts to help, much less when I have so many things to do before the rest of the Order arrive"

"Don't worry, I'll help you with that too."

"Perfect"

"Mom, can we talk?"

"About what?

"You know what," Bill clicked his tongue, passing her the last plate from the sink to continue with the spoons. "(Y/N)..."

"Your father has scolded me enough about that girl, I don't need you to do it too"

"I wouldn't if you had a little consideration with her."

"More consideration?" Molly asked in a squeak. Bill shook his head. "I'm letting her stay at my home!"

"Our home, mom, ours," he corrected, drying his hands with a cloth. "This house also belongs to my dad, my brothers, and me. It's the burrow, a family property, not a secret club where some people can get in and others cannot."

"You know what I think of her"

"And you know I don't care." Molly looked scandalized at her son. She didn't understand what he had seen in someone like you or what you had given him to come out and defend you as he did "I don't ask you to love her, but at least you have to try...

"Have you ever wondered what will happen when she betrays us?"

"That's not gonna happen"

"You're very sure of that, William"

"I'm convinced, Mom. You don't know her like I do and, you know what? I see that wanting to talk to you was a mistake"

"Moody thinks like me," Molly stopped him when Bill was ready to go upstairs. The woman clung to the railing watching her son standing in the first step out of the kitchen "(Y/N) Grant is a danger to the Order"

"Really? Like Mundungus Fletcher? I beg your pardon, mom, but if there is anyone who represents a latent danger to the Order of the Phoenix, it's him and yet you have assigned him for the mission tonight"

Molly's lips parted and if it weren't for the fact that Bill knew her mother too well, he might think the woman was about to throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. Still, she clenched the bars tightly, her brow furrowed, and the redness on her cheeks washed over her forehead.

"William!" Don't talk to me like that!"

"I wouldn't if you had a little more respect for my girlfriend."

"Don't you understand? I care about you! For all of us!" She snarled angrily. "Having a Riddle in this house..."

"A Grant, mom, (Y/N) is a Grant and that's not the same." Bill descended his steps, approaching her mother, returning that angry look that she had inherited from him. It was a strange sensation. A dyad of emotions between joy and fear where the composed emotion was guilt. He had never exploded that way with his mother, but Molly hadn't behaved that way with anyone either "His grandfather is Lord Voldemort's half-brother and his brothers are all Death Eaters, what does it matter? (Y/N) is not. And when do we judge others by where they come from? If so, we could start with half of us. Being a Weasley is equivalent to being a blood traitor"

"William!"

Molly's face went from fury to shock to fury again. Bill's eyes were twinkling and Molly swore she had never seen any of her children this angry, or worse, this determined.

"What would you have done, Mom?" Bill questioned taking his mother by his arms in an attempt to make him feel her despair. Molly opened her eyes, scared. "When your family tell you not to accept dad? When your brothers object to your engagement, just 'cause the Weasleys have long been considered blood traitors?"

For the first time that day Molly's mind went blank, Bill guessed, rewinding the memories of how difficult it was for the Prewetts to accept the marriage. Bill pleaded silently, but pulled away from her when his mother gave no indication to be a little more respectful with you.

"We aren't like that. We don't separate people by where they come from, we hug them" Bill resumed his way towards the stairs, stopping a couple of steps up, turning to take a look at Molly's stunned figure "As you did with Hermione, Remus and Harry when you and Dad became his godparents after Sirius died. (Y/N) is no different"

"She will turn her back on us when the Order fight the Grants. That moment will come and you know it"

"Don't worry, i'll make sure that doesn't happen"

"She is not part of this family"

"That can be solved very easily," he said and the smile he wore gave her a terrible chill down her spine. "Because I'm going to ask her to be my wife."

Molly's gasp was the only thing Bill heard before climbing the stairs and heading to the twins' room. He always respected his mother a lot and even thinking of opposing to her wishes was inconceivable, but your well-being was something that was involved and Bill couldn't just let her mother control his life at her will. Maybe the mistake he made was not telling his parents the truth about you from the start or, in that case, mentioning that the woman he loved was the fucking niece of the strongest fucking dark wizard of all time.

Bill Weasley rubbed his face as he reached the twins' door. He no longer had to torment himself, it was done and the only thing pending at the moment was to get Harry out of his uncles' house, take him safely to the burrow and find the courage to do what he told his mother he would do.

Would you agree to marry him? He hoped so and if not, he wouldn't pressure you. You were young - even a little younger than him - and it would be understandable if you refused to tie your life to someone else's from one moment to the other. The war progressed every day and if you were going to do it, you would do it as soon as possible.

Loud laughings brought him out of his thoughts to observe you and his brothers sitting on the floor, right in the center of both beds, laughing at each other and touching your faces. From the doorway Bill can't see the full painted room, however George's face showed a rather abstract mural full of bright colors when he felt the presence of his older brother. Fred did the same showing his face in the same situation and then you turned to Bill, still laughing and your face smeared with paint. It seemed the twins had created a paint bomb in millimeter pills, that explode when you put a little bit of pressure. You tried to clean yourself with the sleeve of your sweater but you spread the paint even more. Fred and George laughed and so did Bill.

His heart swelled with love as he saw that at least someone in his family - besides him and his father - had hope in you. God, he may have even cried with happiness.

Bill never understood how a sunshine as beautiful as you was never accepted in your entire life.

Tags:

@purple-vodka-99

@vampirestrawberries

Thanks for the 100 followers!❤

#bill weasley #bill weasley imagine #bill weasley x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter cast #Harry Potter imagines #domhnall gleeson imagine #domhnall gleeson x reader #domhnall gleeson #weasleys #fred weasley imagines

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old-childhood-drama · 4 years ago

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Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)

Before dating (May 2008)

We start with the Taylor lookalike

In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin’ Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.

As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.

We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.

Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)

On Tour

Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".

Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.

On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.

She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.

They’re together but they’re not together.

For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.

Now back to the timeline:

Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.

She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.

Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.

On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”

And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.

Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.

The Central Park date (August 28th)

Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.

Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).

These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.

VMAs (September 2008)

With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.

Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.

The Break-Up (October 2008)

Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.

Post-Breakup

The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.

Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:

“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”

“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]

She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]

Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.

So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:

"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “

Forever & Always

Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).

Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure

In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.

You All Over Me

The best and worst day of June

Was the one that I met you

With your hands in your pockets

And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin

But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child

Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then

Mr. Perfectly Fine

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

And I never got past what you put me through

But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"

To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]

Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.

Much Better - Jonas Brothers

I get a rep for breakin’ hearts

Now I’m done with superstars

And all the tears on her guitar

I’m not bitter

But now I see

Everything I’d ever need

Is the girl in front of me

She’s much better

Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.

“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)

Come on, show me how much better you are

(So much better, yeah?)

See you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).

Jump Then Fall

Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.

If This Was a Movie

Baby, what about the ending?

Oh, I thought you'd be here by now

Thought you'd be here by now

According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.

Haunted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

Won't finish what you started

This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.

"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor

Friendlier days are coming (2010- )

I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].

The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".

Holy Ground - Taylor Swift

We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

And for the first time I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story’s got dust on every page

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd…

… Tonight, I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance

If I'm not dancing with you

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].

From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.

Present (2020- )

In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.

Invisible String

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

#Taylor Swift #fearless #fearless (taylor's version)#forever & always #mr perfectly fine #you all over me #last kiss #toe #jaylor #joe jonas #jonas brothers #folklore #invisible string #paranoid #much better #lines #vines and trying times #better than revenge

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experiment-000 · 4 years ago

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My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.

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smilingperformer · 4 years ago

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Discussing the good and bad of Pokémon Journeys: Part “Chloe”

Time to discuss about the character that is still keeping me on board with watching Pokémon (2019)/Journeys despite having, cough, some issues with it. Let's talk about Chloe, also known as Koharu.

TLDR; I like how Koharu is handled so far, even if I somewhat wish there was more of her, and I believe I know what the intention with her is, and that is to show that the journey to finding your dream goal can be an exciting one and with possible obstacles on the way towards it. More under the cut, Journeys abverted as JN.

So. Let's start with how I became to like her character the moment JN002 aired, but also how her debut in JN001 has become interesting part of how Koharu used to love Pokémon, but then grew out of it. Which to me, reminds of people who grew with playing Pokémon games, cards, etc, but then as they got older, they grew out of it.

Anyway, as we all probably remember, both Gou and Koharu attended the Okido Camp as kids, where BOTH of the eventually meet Mew. From the very beginning, we're let known that Koharu is a daughter of a promising Professor Sakuragi, who's acquainted with Okido.

And we're also let known that the two are friends from before the camp, and I assume their games at Sakuragi's Lab involved playing as Pokémon or other stuff. She most definitely loved Pokémon and her dad's work back then.

But then when we fastforward to the present day as Satoshi, Gou and Koharu are all 10 years old, we see that this attitude has changed in Koharu. She's no longer interested in Pokémon that much, and the only Pokémon she accepts near her is their family 'mon Wanpachi. For me, this was very interesting approach, even if the "not interested in Pokémon" was done before with May/Haruka back in Advanced Generation series.

Even with this interesting approach, she was a side/supporting cast instead of main cast, which honestly felt weird to me as she definitely had a story to tell. But as I've been watching other shows lately, I kinda came to realise her approach reminds me of mid-season additions to cast, even thou her appearances nowdays are just a BIT more frequent, when before her joining the Research Fellows, she appear very seldomly.

Anyway. In JN011 we finally learn that, she pretty much has issues with people's expectations and how everyone assumes her to be very much involved with Pokémon just because of her dad's work. Truly, this would end up affecting her affection towards Pokémon, thou it's possibly not the whole reason for losing interest. She even admits here she's not sure of what she truly wants to do yet.

It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of goal finding journeys, as they are very relatable to me as someone who took 20+ years to find out what I truly want to do for living, so Koharu wanting to find something instead of other people deciding it for her is very good lesson.

So what exactly is the approach with Koharu from this ep forward? Showing her see Pokémon in different, totally new lights, figuratively speaking. She's shown to take care of a Pidove who broke its wing in a runaway flight, helped her lil brother Sota's friend, Nami, attend to a small children's Contest, and went to a Fossil Exhibition with Satoshi and Gou to learn about fossils. And I feel like that, this fossil exhibition event is what truly rekindled Koharu's interest in Pokémon again. As we all remember, she truly enjoyed that trip, and she, for the first time, got to see Gou bond with a Pokémon, that was rampaging just moments ago. And this episode, accompanied with JN050, are why I am currently thinking Koharu's end goal will end up being related to fossils. It certainy would be an interesting approach for a female cast character, and I wouldn't mind her having a chat with some other character who's also involved in researching fossils... (cough Gary/Shigeru cough)

Anyway. All of this seemingly lead up to Koharu finally meeting her very apparent soul mate: Eevee. I know, that most people were somewhat (or even totally) annoyed by the fact that yet another pokegirl receives Eevee as their Pokémon, and that this is just boring. While I understand the sentiment, considering Koharu's character: Eevee is the only Pokémon that actually fits her. Koharu is out there still figuring out what she wants to be. What she wants to do. And Eevee is the most relatable Pokémon for that kind of character: Eevee can become eight, and I repeat, eight, different evolutions. That's pretty much the same as having different paths to choose from when deciding your goal. And this specific Eevee has also not yet decided what it wants to do. It refuses to evolve. While in-game one could say this is because of the g-max factor, I highly believe this is purely done for the purpose of making Koharu and Eevee relate on a very, very personal level. So instead of Eevee having the g-max factor disabling the evolution (because let's face it, it's only done so people won't accidentally evolve their Gigantamax Eevee), Eevee is kind of, constantly pressing the B button to prevent it.

Now: what has Eevee exactly given to Koharu's character? A lot actually. When before Koharu would try to deny interest in something or try to say she has something else to do instead of a trip, Eevee is there to push her forward to try things out.

Like in JN050, Koharu is trying to priotize her School instead of a Fossil trip to Galar, but thanks to Eevee, who wants to go, Koharu gets the needed push to go and try out new stuff. I very much adored this scene in this episode, due to encouraging the "try out new things" approach in life. From this point forward, we then see Koharu join in on other trips like the Diglett Farm (where she definitely shined in team leading and got to experience the farming and team leader approach) and the Glimwood Tangle trip, that Koharu herself prompted to her dad and the boys, instead of being asked to join. Which reminds me of something else btw.

While Gou is shown to be very knowledged with Pokémon, Koharu is shown to know more about other fields like how plants grows, and what kind of soil is good. This is from either school lessons or from her experience with taking care of the school flowers. She could possibly be considered a good student, and btw, I very much like the approach of not making her a school dropout once she started joining in on research trips, and instead takes homework to accomodate the fact that she's missing out on lessons. This isn't unusual in real life, so I'm glad JN is actually showcasing this approach with both Koharu and Gou. Thou with Gou, he's pretty much always absent, haha.

Now, her latest episode with Kikuna was an interesting one. While Koharu's main point in the episode was kind of to be the angel of love for Kikuna (which failed horribly, love you Kikuna <333 ), I'd say there was another reason for her being in that episode with Kikuna: it was to let her learn of the possibility of meeting possible pitfalls in one's dream goals. That lesson was in Kikuna's story about how she almost gave up in becoming a researcher due to a mess up with an important presentation for a conference, but found the strenght to try again. It's part of reaching your dream goal a lot of the time. Even Koharu's mom, Yoshino/Talia, gave her the story of how she originally wanted to be a mangaka, but gave up on the dream and instead approached something similar. These are all very important life lessons in how working toward one's goal can either fail, or come accoss obstacles. It depends on the person whether they'll end up switching the goal to something else, or strive to go forward to get past the obstacle. As someone who had exactly Koharu's mom's experience longside having to take a long while to find one, I appreciate that Koharu's journey has been about learning the good and bad experiences of working towards a dream goal.

Now: has this storyline been executed well? Imo, it has, but it ain't perfect, as there are some parts where I'd like to see some improvement on.

One of them is with how it's sometimes unclear as what kind of character she is counted as. Is the a main character alongside Gou and Satoshi now? Is the still supporting cast? Is she a lower tier main character that won't appear every episode still? The latest option would appear to be the case, but it's not often that simple to see.

There's also the case of Wanpachi seeming like it was teased to be eventually becoming Koharu's first partner, but instead it ended up being Eevee. I think for most, before JN049 aired, people assumed Wanpachi didn't belong to anyone exactly and thus was free reign. But, as JN049 confirmed, Wanpachi belonged to Sakuragi himself. Which is sorta funny, as Wanpachi clearly loves him the least, haha. So, what exactly do they intend with Wanpachi? I think, that in time it'll eventually switch owners to Koharu, as it clearly loves her the most, but the journey there is still on-going.

Now, here's something interest to think about: I think Koharu not being in every episode has actually been benefitial for her, as she never gives me the feeling that she's taking anyone's time for herself, and her involvements in stories fit quite well. My current favourites for her are definitely her team leading in Diglett episode, which is JN052, and the Galarian Ponyta episode (JN055) where she clearly showcased that she's able to handle herself in sticky situations. Which is quite a beautiful detail, at least to me.

Now to quiiickly note her dynamics quickly, let's talk a bit about how she is a big sister. Like, for real. She's got a baby brother in Sota/Parker, and the two do seem to have good relationship going on. However, I really want to see more of this! There's way too little of it going on right now, and it's mostly been typical siblinghood. I'm so glad there's still full on family aspects in JN, which is what I loved in Sun & Moon so so so much, but I want to see more. MORE! MORE-

I already talked about how I enjoy her dynamics with Gou and how their childhood friendship is showcased so well, and yet I still grave to see more. The two know each other well, and Gou always, ALWAYS respects Koharu, while Koharu ain't afraid to tell what's on her mind to Gou. Thou, she also knows that Gou would judge her if she were to ask about Pokémon bonding tips. Dyamn.

Now: I want more of Koharu and Satoshi. The two def seemed to have a bit of a "uugh who are you don't talk to me" approach, but it naturally faded as they went on their first trip to Nibi City's Fossil Exhibition. And they've been in good relations since I'd say.

Also to quickly note, I love how Koharu has been mentioned in couple scenes as being the character who's taught them first-aid or told about jealousy and how one should take Pokémon's feeling into consideration (even if this latter one should be obvious to Satoshi but, I digress, Satoshi was way too focused on Riolu and just assumed Pikachu would be fine since they've been buds since forever).

There's also so much more I still want to learn about: how exactly did she meet Gou and why she decided to be friends with him, does she have other friends besides him (because I would assume so but she's never shown with anyone else), give us an episode that's focused on Koharu & Sota, let her see Satoshi battle as well (afaik, she has NOT), let her meet Alola Squad + other past companions, and oooh there's so much I want her to do and I see so, so much potential in her character and I really really REALLY hope the writers don't screw her up.

Now is that all I wanted to talk about regarding Koharu... I guess so. As you might have figured out by now: I almost have no issues with how Koharu is written. She's enjoyable to watch and, suprisingly, I find the pace of her story-telling pleasant and not too fast nor way too slow. Could it do well with a bit faster pace? Possibly, but due to me seeing her as sort of a mid-season addition akin to how Precure or Digimon do them, I'm fine with this approach. Considering the current pace, I think she'll end up finding what she wants to end up working towards to by the end of this year, or early next year. And, despite how many might fear, I highly doubt it will be Contests. As it's pretty clear JN isn't out there to promote mainline games feature-to-feature, but instead cherry picks stuff it wants to do. I'm still quite certain, that she'll end up becoming a professor of her own fields, possibly of fossils (which, considering DP's Underground feature, could fit very well in promoting this feature of the remakes). Maybe even become a team leader of a fossil researching team, as she definitely showcases the skills for it, for knowing soil, fossil digging and again, team leading. And I totally didn't figure this out while writing this post. :'D (I totally did.)

So. I believe I'll end this post here, as this is already quite long by now and, honestly, there's not much left to talk about. It really feels good for me to talk so positively about a character in JN, as it's no secret that I ain't the biggest fan of the show. However, Koharu's approach speaks to me personally, very well, and I so, so look forward to seeing how her journey ends up going, and where it will lead her.

So who's up next on the list of discussions? I think you guys can guess it.

And it's gonna be a doozy one. Oh man oh man.

Thank you so much for reading if you came this far, have a fantastic evening/morning/whatever, and take good care of yourselves!

This was Smiling Performer aka Aleira, signing out! PEACE!

#pokemon #pokeani #anipoke #pokemon jn #pokemon journeys #discussions #character discussions #koharu #chloe #koharu sakuragi #chloe cerise

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Grace & Ava

Grace: I'm here in your postcode so like hmu if you need help Grace: after being a babysitter FOREVER kids crafts are TOTALLY my thing Ava: There's glitter on everything Ava: I'm going to have to pay to get their house professionally cleaned after this, I swear Grace: before you do I have to bring the boy over & 'accidentally' cover him Grace: cos he literally will not decide on a costume Ava: Yeah, he's crap at costumes Ava: I don't think I've even seen him in the obligatory devil horns Ava: mess up the hair, probably Grace: I mean, if my hair ever looked that good that'd be so relatable Grace: 😍😍 Ava: n'awh 😏 Ava: I'm glad someone appreciates the effort he goes to with the bleach Ava: god knows what I'm going to wear, the standard Halloween ideas aren't really applicable for a kid's birthday Grace: I love him but I hate him Grace: his eyelashes are better than mine as well Grace: right?! if his mum sees me in a lbd & cat ears she'll hate me more than she already does Grace: we could do joint costumes of a 🔪 in our backs though 🙄😂 Ava: What's she like? Grace: so rude Grace: she NEVER talks to me but the judgement is REAL 👀🔪 Grace: poor & a reformed hoe!? not in her house, honey Ava: and you didn't even homewreck her son's marriage so Ava: this is gonna be fun Grace: but I will if she tries to marry him off to some beautiful, rich, virgin or whatever Ava: I don't think they're that old school 😂 Ava: only if he managed to get a virgin pregnant Grace: don't even Grace: it's literally the one thing that would maybe score me points with her & I can't talk about it Ava: as satisfying as it'd be to throw out when she's being the most judgmental Ava: not worth it Ava: but you are gonna come, right? Ava: James wasn't sure Grace: yeah, I'm not trying to have a breakdown at her dining table soooooo Grace: of course we are, he practically begged me onto a flight to not have to go alone Grace: his sister has like 5 kids & Teddy can't deal with any of them Grace: what happens when you 👰👴 I guess Ava: Yeah Ava: I heard Ava: I just want them to have a good time Ava: James and the kids Grace: they will Grace: you've done amazing so far setting it all up Ava: there's nothing I can do to jazz up the guestlist Ava: it's bad enough that she might show but we can't plan for it Grace: Teddy thinks she will & Jay will have a meltdown, that's why he's totally dreading it Ava: I don't think she will Grace: idk but he's convinced Grace: he says she LOVES to make an entrance & bring drama Ava: Potentially Ava: I think she doesn't care enough about the kids, but that she doesn't intentionally want to hurt them Ava: just James Ava: there are better ways, after all, her parents are going to be there, they'd stop her before she could really do anything Grace: 🤞🏽 cos that does make sense Grace: & we all want you to be right, no offense to the bae Ava: If she's going to come back, she will, it'll have to be faced Ava: whether we're wearing cat ears or not Grace: yeah but like a 👶🎂 is not it Grace: even she must know that Ava: None of this is Grace: how's James? Ava: he's doing good Ava: considering Ava: it's a lot Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm avoiding Rio & Buster rn for a reason Ava: Yeah, he's mad at me Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: don't even worry he's mad at everyone for everything Grace: except Ri, duh Grace: like you said, it's a lot Ava: well it's kind of special circumstances Ava: he thinks I've picked a side Grace: cos it's that simple Grace: he's so extra & that's coming from me Ava: Maybe it is Grace: he wishes it was Grace: but it's not you & James vs him & Ri Ava: It's not that Ava: I just Ava: I don't think I agree with what he wants Grace: you want Jay to stay where she is Ava: Yes Ava: I think he's only thinking about himself Grace: well yeah, when isn't he? Ava: It's different Ava: it's two lives he could ruin Ava: three, Mattie too Grace: he's always done exactly what he wants however many lives it could ruin Grace: literally all you can do is keep trying to get through to him Ava: Yeah, that'll work Ava: like you said, he'll do what he wants Ava: but James won't just let her go, and if it goes to court, how has he proved he's a decent father? Ava: he's not acknowledged her, the possibility Ava: it wouldn't be as cut and dry as he wants it to be Grace: nothing is ever that cut & dry but ugh try telling Buster or Ri that Ava: Exactly Ava: isn't having Venus when they shouldn't enough Grace: don't even get me started Grace: it's such a mess Ava: it isn;t fair Ava: James raised her, stepped up Ava: had to deal with Chloe Ava: no one has the right to take her away now Grace: exactly Grace: they love each other Grace: you can't just break that bond like it doesn't exist Ava: for one that doesn't Ava: I don't want to pick sides, I love him, he's my brother Ava: but I can't say I'm okay with it right now, when I'm not Grace: he's being a selfish idiot rn though, you can say it to me, babes Grace: she's got a whole family here Ava: I know it's fucked, that Chloe told him he wasn't the dad Ava: but I can't get over that she told him he was Ava: you don't just Ava: why did he trust her the second time and not the first Ava: how could that be for anything but selfish reasons Grace: it's literally cos he wanted to Grace: & he's totally fixated on the wrong things, what does blood matter anyway? Grace: Billie's my sister not any one of the kids my dad had scattered across Dublin Ava: Maybe Rio said she'd leave him? Ava: but still, then he made his choice Ava: ugh Ava: I hate it Grace: me too Grace: everything is so Grace: fucked Grace: always Ava: how was your birthday anyway Ava: did you and Teddy do something nice? Grace: he did spoil me cos he knows my birthday is the literal worst & I tried not to brag TOO hard on socials Ava: Good Ava: you're only 16 once Grace: it's so weird Grace: being her age Ava: I thought about that Ava: on her birthday Ava: that she'd have only been 20 Ava: it seems so long ago, somehow Grace: like unless I die too now, I'm gonna be older than her Ava: they could take Libi if they want another child so bad Ava: alright, that was bitchy but nan and granddad won't be around forever either, I know they're not old old but Grace: they tried that already, so not really that bitchy Grace: god, she looks so much like her I actually can't breathe sometimes Ava: It's crazy Ava: and how big she is already Grace: did you see the 🎃 patch pics? It's wild, she's even dressed like Edie as a kid Grace: calm down nan Ava: I know Ava: I wish she had to chance to know her Ava: and her dad, of course Grace: yeah, I wish I'd known her better & I had way longer than Libi Ava: Like Billie's mum Ava: it's just sad Grace: idk maybe you get to 90 & you're still like I wish....whatever Grace: but like you said, it's unfair & I hate it Ava: It's never going to be something you can make peace with Ava: well, I don't think Ava: her life wasn't finished, it had only just started Grace: I don't think I wanna make peace with it anyway, it's not okay & none of us should just be okay with it Grace: but I can't cry rn so Ava: Me either Ava: I have too many sandwiches to make Grace: are you at home? I'll come over Ava: I'm at his but you can come over Ava: help me load up the car Grace: 👌🏽 omw Ava: You can have a cake pop early Ava: don't tell Jay Grace: 😂🤫 Ava: or more aptly, don't tell James she's already conned me out of two Grace: he'll definitely be able to tell when she's climbing the walls Grace: unless you've made a really convincing 🕷 costume too Ava: I know, I know Ava: it's bad Ava: but I don't think a little bit of excitement would actually hurt right now Ava: she's got to carry it, it's not like Mattie really has much of a clue what's going on yet Grace: & you don't want her feeling jealous & left out that you threw her baby sister such a great party Grace: that's the worst Ava: Yeah, she had hers in the Summer and it wasn't the best time, obviously Ava: I've tried to make sure she feels involved anyway Grace: Teddy can't believe how good you are with her, speaking of jealousy 😂 Ava: Kids pick up on your awkwardness, don't they Ava: like animals Ava: he just needs to fake it 'til he makes it Grace: mhmmm Grace: I told him it'll get easier the more time he spends with both of them, but you know what he's like Ava: Yeah Ava: at least no one is going to accuse him of trying to be their mother 🙄 Grace: 🤞🏽 she won't say it again in front of everyone 🥳🎁 Grace: awkward Ava: it's so patronizing Ava: it's not as if Chloe was a massive help Ava: he's done it himself this whole time, basically Ava: they don't need a mum Grace: she was literally the opposite of helpful Ava: at best she looked after them in the loosest sense of the word when he was at uni or work Ava: but 9/10 they'd end up with her parents so it wasn't as if she could be relied on Grace: are her parents coming? Ava: yeah Ava: I don't think they can even believe that she's done this Ava: gone Ava: I've met them a few times, dropping or picking the girls up, they're nice enough Grace: who'd wanna believe that about their family tbh Grace: but it's good that they're sticking around even though they probably wanna die if they've always been there Grace: the girls need that normality rn Ava: I'm sure they feel awful Ava: though James' family are blaming no one but him so they don't need to worry about judgment Grace: ugh I would kill Teddy if he sided with them Ava: I don't know if James knows he doesn't Grace: really? Grace: 🙄 boys never talk Grace: I'll talk to him, he knows how to show it even if he doesn't wanna say it Grace: they can go to the pub or whatever Ava: Yeah, I like, try not to comment or get involved Ava: know what it's like to have family drama Ava: but that's the feeling I've got anyway, it couldn't hurt them Grace: rich people need a bigger shove to open up, no offence Ava: 😂 it's a class issue, really Grace: in his family there's that whole stiff upper lip thing that I thought was totally not even a thing for the past however many centuries Grace: it's crazy, okay Ava: I know Grace: thank god he's the youngest or his mum would be coming at me to produce an heir Ava: you aren't good enough stock, obvs Ava: 🙄🙄 Grace: & she's only basing that off my 2 jobs & sexual history Grace: if she knew I was actually infertile she'd be giving him constant sti checks & changing the locks Grace: 😱😱 Ava: If you aren't titled and can't trace your family back to the dark ages, then they don't wanna know 🤷 Grace: so weird Ava: just how they are Ava: posh people Grace: yeah, it's wild, you should've seen the look I got when I said you were making sandwiches Grace: the boy does nothing for himself I swear Ava: he doesn't Ava: I've known him long enough Grace: Janis hated him on sight so at least you do actually know him Ava: doesn't really surprise me Grace: she only has 😍 for working class baristas so Ava: all my family hate James so you're doing better than me Grace: they just hate him for you, I've been there every other time Grace: they'll have to get over it & used to him eventually Ava: none of yours were married with two kids Ava: but still, yeah, they will Ava: or they won't, it's not like it's illegal so they can't do anything Grace: he's divorced now & literally deserves to be happy Ava: his happiness isn't their top priority Grace: yours should be though Ava: it is Ava: in that they think it's a mistake and I'll regret it Grace: if it is it's your mistake to make & regret to live with Grace: I've got 100000s Grace: 🤷 Ava: I can see their point, and what they're trying to do, without agreeing with it Ava: because I'm not as immature as they wanna say so Ava: it is what it is Grace: 👏🏽 Ava: I've got to do some homework, when you get here Ava: you don't mind do you Grace: it's fine Ava: it's due monday and I've barely started Grace: as long as Teddy doesn't ignore me for homework too Ava: awh, how could he Grace: idk maybe you're a better influence than me Ava: i'm not going to turn the party into a study sesh, don't worry Grace: 😂 I didn't bring any homework so I'm not worried Grace: I could probably cope with Jay's but I won't be telling her Ava: ✌ Ava: I highly doubt she'll wanna do hers either Grace: she can help me get him in the 🥳🎁🕺🎊 mood then Ava: 🤞 Grace: 🙏🏽

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ae-diaries · 5 years ago

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My Life Testimony

Warning: Long post ahead

The content of this blog has me holding a secret I've kept hidden for a long time. I'm a bit hesitant to share my personal story because others (who knew me already) may be shocked or turned off 😅, but hopefully, the thoughts would bless someone and help you face your weaknesses and rise above them. This is a celebration of the greatest miracle I received from God. I never thought that miracle was real, until circumstances proved that it is possible.

Foremost in my mind is when I was a high school kid. My life was symbolized by the microphone; I’d been exposed to sing in front of a crowd, be it in school or amateur singing contests. It's not to boast but it felt like I was a singing sensation back then, others dubbed me as 'songbird', 'sweet nightingale' to name a few 🤣. But when no one's looking, I felt, for lack of a better description, just off. This was caused by a certain physical condition that tear down my self-image.

It all began when my mother noticed that I had an uneven shoulders when I was 13 years old. Later on, I was diagnosed with scoliosis measuring a 20-degree curve, and so my doctor from PGH gave me various stretching exercises and required me to wear a brace to prevent the curve from worsening or else surgery awaits me.

I freaked out inside. At the back of my mind, I wondered, “Why me?”. From then on, a hidden scar symbolizes my 'private' life. People might not notice it, but really I was riddled with inferiority complex and lack of self-worth. Nakakaiyak isipin, imagine ako lang bukod tanging estudyante sa private skul na may ganitong klaseng kundisyon. How I pitied myself. Parang ayoko nang lumabas. Hiyang hiya ako.

I usually cried and pahirapan pa every time my mother would be putting the brace into my body, kabilinbilinan niya wag ko daw aalisin para daw mapabilis paggaling ko, but there was this one time, while I was on my way to school, naisipan kong dumaan muna sa haus ng classmate ko para lang ipatago yung brace ko. And it happened many times. Ang bigat nyang dalhin, di lang sa katawan kundi pati narin sa kalooban. Later on, they found out what I was doing, until wala na silang nagawa sa tigas ng ulo ko. Fortunately, my classmates did not bully me in school; however, I was still very conscious and afraid that my crush would see me like a bionic kid. To this day, I have never told my parents about this reason. You know as a teenager, I was overly sensitive by the opinion of others. And that's all that matters to me. I didn't think of the consequences of this action.

Fast forward to 2012, sabi nila end of the world na this year (according to Mayan calendar), feeling ko katapusan ko nadin when I went back to the doctor and learned that the deformity progressed to over 50 degrees. Reality finally hit me! A major surgery was needed to correct my S-curved spine. Why I didn't just wear that darn thing? I must admit nagpabaya ako as I was trying to live like a normal kid. At that time, I was already employed in my first job so I filed for a two-month leave. Luckily, my very understanding boss approved it. I also had an amazing orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Teodoro Castro, who explained to me the procedure (though it was as clear as mud to me). He was very reassuring, so I didn't get scared.

And when he asked, "Kelan mo gusto magpa-opera?," Without a second thought, I replied, "Kahit po bukas na doc!". My thoughts were, "If not now, when pa?"( I felt like I was running out of time.) His eyes bulged upon hearing my immediate response! And so he set the schedule to May 16, 1 p.m (which I spent at Sta. Teresita General Hospital in Quezon City).

It was exciting, really, though it had 'Final Destination' feels. Andaming 'what ifs', what if di ako maka-survive? Bigla kong naisip talagang 'life is short' at ang dami ko pa palang di nagagawa sa mundong ibabaw such as makapag-serve kay God through joining a spiritual ministry, to travel for a cause, makapag-abroad, makakanta sa tv, makita si Regine & Sarah, magamit license ko to teach students, maigala ang magulang ko, and to have my own family. Sana magawa ko pa ang mga ito after post-op.

More so, I felt my family's collective fear; I could actually hear the loud beating of my parents' chest when they signed the waiver 🤣. My father had worries that my voice might deteriorate after the operation. Laying in my bed and knowing that I may be that close to dying, I delivered my prayer of surrender to God and remained fearless. The comforting lyrics of 'You made me Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson became my fight song while in the hospital.

Waking up after the operation was the highlight. Being groggy from the anesthesia, I opened my eyes, feeling like it's just a continuation of my short sleep. I saw the nurses and my family - patiently waiting for me to wake up for almost 6 hours na daw. The first thing I asked was, "Tapos na?" (many times). I felt a huge sigh of relief when they uttered the words that struck me to the core, "Oo, tapos na." S*** I couldn't believe my ears; I was flying with joy! For years I have prayed for this miracle. I wanted to shout and do any dance challenge, 🤣 but how could I do that? They were preventing me from talking yet or make any movements because a mask was surrounding my nose and a lot of apparatuses were attached to my body. Later on, I learned that my younger brother cried after seeing me survived the operation. May kadramahan din pala si brother na lagi kong kabangayan 😂. While the success of my operation wouldn't be possible if it weren't for the assistance provided by my father's company, DMCI Corp. That's why I'll always be indebted to their big boss, VAC (May his soul rest in peace).

My healing lasted for almost nine months. I never suffered from complications, just pure torture and regrets na sana di nalang ako nagpa-opera (huhu). This is no exaggeration but dinaig ko pa talaga ang na-cesarean. On the first month after my operation, I became disabled and reached levels of pain I thought never existed in human experience: It was difficult to breath; I could not stand and walk on my own; I became excessively skinny because of drug intake - this was a legal drug prescribed by my doctor which can remove the pain only for 4-6 hrs. It felt so pathetic and frustrating to see myself in front of the mirror. No matter how much I tried to be positive, my insecurities gripped me down again and again to the point of questioning God: "Is there a hope for me?",

"How come others could breathe and walk so well? During these times, inggit na inggit ako sa mga taong nakakalakad at nakakahinga ng maluwag. Feeling ko life is so unfair. Somewhere deep inside, I believed I was ugly, that He really didn't like me and it was His punishment for all the sins I did in the past. As I poured out my grief before God, a question popped in my head: “Mira, give me reasons why you should remain grateful?.”

“Seriously, how can I be grateful in times like this?.”

But in those agonizing moments, a light of hope from my parents’ eyes illuminates my darkness.

In all the times that I cried and complained, I never saw them get too tired to feed me or serve me even if it would make them uncomfortable to make me comfortable. I couldn't imagine how they felt when I looked down on myself. Aside from my parents, my siblings, concerned relatives and genuine friends also never left my side. It's as if they became my extra pair of legs when mine refuse to walk. And my heart is full of gratitude today because they have loved me during the times that I didn't love myself.

I'm living a normal life now as if nothing happened but others observed that except for my angelic voice 🤣, I tend to become forgetful and a little bit of deaf (Yes to this level) - this was probably caused by my extra dose of antibiotics intake 🤣. They noticed that I walk with lightning speed, as if may hinahabol daw ako lagi - maybe subconsciously, this has something to do with my life goals. Yes, I do get tired easier that's why there are some things that I must not do such as lifting heavy objects, sport activities (except for swimming), washing a mountain of clothes 🤣, bawal ma-stress and ma-exposed sa extreme cold places 😅.

As they say, true wisdom is learning from your shortcomings. For everything that I'd been through, I realized that there's a lesson hidden underneath the pain and it was God's way for me to:

(1) strengthen my faith - It was through this difficult times that I also underwent a 'spiritual surgery/enlightenment'. It has helped me find my stride in God and pray like I have never prayed before (for I know nakalimot ako). I didn't know all His plans but surely He was turning my brokenness into greatness.

(2) love myself, invest in my relationships and create good memories - The whole discernment gave me the courage to keep progressing. I began to accept my imperfections, pick up my self-esteem, and do the things I haven't done before: Much is to be done but so far, I already saw Miss Regine and Sarah in person, traveled to different places, got to teach students in schools, treat my parents - brought them to concerts and resto; spent midnight snacks and watched movies with my siblings; hang-out with friends; reunited with a long lost friend; restored a broken relationship, and tried to forgive someone;

(3) appreciate the fine details of life - More and more, my wishes become simpler. I realized there is more to life than any material thing could give, and that is getting enough oxygen and optimal healing to every organ in my body. Sobra kong na-appreciate ang buhay ko, especially the air I breathe, and the legs that carry me everywhere.

Eto lang sapat na 'to be happy'. Why did I fail to notice this before? And that's also what I want to ask you, when was the last time you were thankful for the air around you? True to what they say, the best things in life are free, but the problem is we're not contented with what we have and complicate rules to experiencing happiness: “I will be happy only if I’ll be able to upgrade my phone, buy a latest collection of chanel bag, wear a new pair of sketchers shoes..” And I'm so guilty of it because I once was a shoppaholic before that I forgot to remember how 'enough' I truly have.

As I look back, hagulhol nako sa iyak - there were tears in my eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain but tears of gratitude - thinking how would I survive without the amazing people in my life.

I believe that God wants me to write this article so that I could speak for Him and claim that today, I can go out without any worries because I'm no longer ashamed of the scar life has left me with. It's a blessing in disguise; a sign that I conquered pain and fear. Wala na sigurong pagsubok na di ko kakayanin dahil kinaya ko na yung 'pinakamahirap' because truly, life is about not giving up and trying to fix yourself up after every fall.

I cannot make the scar disappear but by looking at it, I see a testimony of survival, inner strength and God's miracles. Jesus never said it wouldn't be easy, but He said it would be worth it! - Matt. 7:13

#secondlife #lifetestimony #embracingmyscar

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Bea & Fraze

Bea: You don't have any lectures Friday this term, right? Fraze: Right Bea: I thought so Bea: so you could be here Friday @ 8PM Bea: realistically Fraze: Yeah Bea: Okay good Fraze: Is it? Bea: Well Bea: Unavoidable social events aren't anything to shout about but they are what they say on the tin Bea: need someone to go with, one of those things Fraze: You ain't really selling it here, babe Fraze: Get that lad who wants to fuck you to do it Bea: Come on Bea: I'll owe you one Fraze: You should've led with that Bea: I'm not gonna lie to get you here Bea: just a birthday meal, we've endured worse Bea: but everyone is coupled up and I can't show up alone Fraze: I'm not gonna lie that I'm thrilled for the invite Bea: I don't need you to lie Bea: just need you to do it so what will that take Fraze: I'll do it 'cause you asked me Fraze: You'll owe me when I need it Bea: Alright Bea: deal Bea: air on the smarter side of smart casual for the dresscode Fraze: Alright Bea: Lemme know when you've booked your flight Bea: can stay after if you haven't got other plans Fraze: I'll do it now Fraze: Before I get other plans Bea: Thanks Fraze: Don't thank me yet if any of their posh cunt boyfriends wind me up you won't be Bea: It's a boy's birthday Bea: and he's from somewhere up North so I'm not sure how posh he is Bea: they're alright Bea: you'll be fine for a night Fraze: I don't need his entire autobiography, like Fraze: He'll be the one blowing out the candles and I'll be gone not too long after Bea: Hardly Bea: don't need you wishing the wrong person happy birthday Fraze: I don't need to wish anyone anything, he's your friend not mine Bea: 🙄 Bea: You don't get to call an IOU if you're gonna come and be a twat Fraze: You don't get to tell me how to socialise Fraze: I'll buy him a couple of drinks, job easily done Bea: So you're just being awkward with me Bea: I wouldn't have asked if it weren't necessary yeah Fraze: If I was being awkward I'd have said I was busy Bea: Whatever then Fraze: It ain't whatever, you're here 'cause you want something, end of Fraze: You ain't bringing the pleasantries so why the fuck am or would I? Bea: I said you could stay Bea: if you're coming we could at least try to have a nice time Fraze: You said I could stay 'cause otherwise you owe me bigger Fraze: It ain't just flights both ways and whatever the fuck this dinner party is, it's all that one after the fucking other Bea: No I did not Bea: don't make me out like I'm so fucking calculated Bea: and yeah, that's exactly why I said make a weekend of it so it isn't here and immediately back Bea: but if you can't do it then don't agree to, it's fine Fraze: I'm not making you out to be anything, like I said, you led with what you led with, babe Fraze: If you wanted me to stay, if it was about me at fucking all, this conversation would've been entirely different Fraze: You know what you want and you know how to get it Bea: You're hearing what you wanna hear, more like Bea: just 'cos I was honest and didn't try to sell this as the party of the year, you've decided to be in a mood about it Fraze: I'm reading what's written Fraze: You have no idea what mood I'm in 'cause you ain't asked me Fraze: But yeah, sorry it ain't a pleasure doing business with you Bea: Oh my God Bea: forget it, it's fine Fraze: I've booked my flight, like I said I would, so that ain't really an option unless you wanna refund me Fraze: [imagine flight details sent here cos what do I know about it] Bea: Really Bea: alright, we'll just have to make best of a bad situation then Fraze: Lucky for us we've had loads of practice at exactly that, yeah? Bea: Lucky is exactly how I'd put it Fraze: Saved you a job then Bea: Gee, thanks Bea: whilst you're at it, can you grab the dress I wore for NYE Bea: got nothing that's cutting it here Fraze: You're so welcome, princess Fraze: Sure, not like I have to pack loads of shit for myself, quickest of visits, like Bea: You're so welcome Fraze: I know Bea: you want a hotel room or what? Fraze: You got any single friends or what? Bea: Yeah so you've not been reading what I said Bea: as suspected Fraze: 'Cause I assumed they weren't all gathered in one room Fraze: I didn't realise you were living some kind of murder mystery Bea: You know my course is selective Fraze: So I got the wrong book and Cambs is more like Hogwarts Fraze: No mixing, yeah? Bea: What'd be the point? Fraze: Could be friends who don't celebrate with wanky dinners, but we'll never know now Bea: That's irrelevant Bea: wouldn't want to go either way Fraze: It's irrelevant 'cause it ain't gonna happen, like I said, the wanky dinner is the only option Bea: It's irrelevant because getting pissed in a restaurant is no different to getting pissed in a pub Bea: you're the snob in this situation, they've seen the inside of the SU and they live in filthy student accommodation, if it makes you feel better Fraze: That's bullshit that you don't want my da to hear you spouting, first of all and second of all, fuck off Bea: It's true, whether your dad reckons it or not Fraze: It ain't even close to true Fraze: The truth is, you weren't excited about this and they're your friends so don't be a fucking hypocrite and expect me to be Bea: Don't judge them when you don't even know if they're a girl or a boy Fraze: I could give a fuck about 'em Bea: Then shut up talking about them either way Fraze: I've barely said a word about 'em Bea: No, that's me Bea: you're the one going on speculating about my friends Fraze: Am I fuck Bea: Sure Bea: it ain't a big secret Bea: I'll give you their socials beforehand, like Fraze: You sure? You're well touchy on their behalf Bea: Yeah right Bea: because you're not just judging them, you're judging me and you're being a cunt Fraze: I am a cunt that ain't news, I don't know 'em to judge 'em I've never met 'em before this Fraze: Asking if you've got friends outside your course ain't a judgement it Fraze: its a question Bea: They aren't mutually exclusive Bea: it's more than capable of being loaded with both Fraze: You're more than capable of realising what I mean and what I don't Bea: Yeah, I am Fraze: So what's your problem? Fraze: The actual one Bea: I've said Fraze: Nah Bea: Yeah Bea: you're the only one with shit to say Fraze: What I'm saying is what I've already said, you've seen me judgemental and your friends are getting off light Fraze: Try again Bea: I don't care Bea: I've actually got shit to do Bea: see you when you're here Fraze: If you didn't care you wouldn't have to tell me you don't Fraze: But whatever, I've got my own shit to do Bea: I would when you won't stop talking Fraze: Bullshit Bea: How is it Bea: seriously, you do not know how to take a hint Fraze: You know how to shut me up Bea: Clearly not Fraze: Nice try Bea: Fuck off Fraze: Come on, that ain't ever worked, go again Bea: Seriously Bea: you're being stupid now Fraze: You're treating me like I'm stupid Bea: No, I'm treating you how you're happy to be treated Fraze: You're losing your touch with me if that's what you reckon, babe Bea: If you like Fraze: You clearly do Bea: You don't know any more than me Fraze: If you like Bea: Can't have it both ways Fraze: Maybe not in Cambs Fraze: I can have it any way I want, cunt's prerogative Bea: Almost convincing Bea: Not Fraze: Not you I have to convince Bea: Lucky again Fraze: One word for it Bea: Feel free to throw any synonyms you like around Fraze: We've both got better things to do Fraze: It ain't going towards my word count on any assignment Bea: Glad you're finally seeing sense Fraze: 'Course you are Fraze: You got what you wanted, no need to keep the conversation going on your end, like Bea: You really want me to rise to it Bea: Interesting Fraze: For you maybe, I'd call it boring Bea: Yeah, insult me when you've shown too much Bea: that'll work Fraze: If I was insulting you, I'd do better Bea: No proof of that Fraze: There's years of it Bea: All those years have been reduced to a piece of paper and some letters Bea: don't you know none of that matters now Fraze: If I didn't before I do now Fraze: Cheers for that Bea: Should've covered that in freshers week Bea: so you're welcome again Fraze: Yeah Bea: We all good here then? Fraze: Is that a rhetorical question? Bea: Nope Fraze: Shame Bea: Easier for you, I understand Fraze: Nah, easier for you, as per Bea: I'm not the one avoiding the question Fraze: You're avoiding the answer Bea: Ooh Bea: deep Bea: didn't know you'd switched to Philosophy Fraze: You don't know fuck all about any of this shit Fraze: We've already established that Bea: Please do mansplain it to me Bea: not enough of that in my life Fraze: As much as you'd love for me to be that cunt Bea: We've already established you are Bea: regardless how I feel about it Fraze: Nah, we haven't that's the point Fraze: I'm a cunt, that one ain't it Bea: You keep saying lots of things are the point Bea: becomes less and less persuasive every time but I get it Fraze: What, you can only keep up with the one? Fraze: I'm keep it well simple for you then, fuck you Bea: Cool Bea: if you'd have just answered 20 messages ago Fraze: Next time feel free to stop answering whenever the fuck you like Bea: Awh Fraze: Don't Bea: Why not Fraze: You know why not Bea: You're the only one that gets to be a cunt Bea: I don't think so Fraze: Yeah, 'cause that's the first time you've been a cunt Bea: Finally he says how he really feels Fraze: It ain't how I feel it's how it is Bea: Same difference Bea: Least you ain't being a pussy no more Fraze: You wish, babe Fraze: Not everything's about you, it shouldn't be news Bea: You wish, babe Fraze: Yeah, I do Fraze: I'd love for you to be my only problem right now Bea: If it's a problem you're doing it wrong Fraze: Again, you wish Fraze: That weren't even close to what I was talking about Bea: Yeah, essays, I remember Bea: we all have them Bea: this year doesn't count Fraze: Jesus, forget it Bea: What Bea: Stop talking in riddles and be a person if you want a fucking conversation Fraze: I don't want a fucking conversation with you, I said forget it Bea: Fine Fraze: Good Bea: There's your rhetorical Fraze: If you say so Bea: 👍 Fraze: Yeah right Bea: Fuck off Fraze: Ladies first Bea: You aren't funny Fraze: I ain't in a joking mood Bea: What's wrong Bea: seriously Fraze: For fuck's sake Bea: Just tell me Fraze: Shut up Bea: No Fraze: Don't make me repeat myself Bea: Then tell me Fraze: No Bea: then fuck you Fraze: Then fuck me Fraze: Whatever Bea: It isn't Fraze: And what? Bea: And you could do something about it Fraze: I'm not fucking stupid, don't talk to me like I am Bea: You're not talking to me at all Bea: what else can I go on Fraze: It's not a mystery for you to solve Fraze: Go do something else Bea: Can't make me Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: Why not Fraze: 'Cause you ain't Bea: When it's convenient Fraze: Bullshit, it's inconvenient as hell right now and I'm still saying it Bea: How is it inconvenient Bea: not like I've worked it out Fraze: You won't fucking drop it either way Fraze: And when I show up to this birthday dinner unable to hold my cutlery 'cause you keep winding me up it'll be exactly that Bea: If you just told me, it would be dropped Bea: and you aren't blaming me if you hurt yourself Fraze: I've already told you, I don't wanna fucking talk about it Bea: Fraze Fraze: Don't Bea: You first Fraze: Seriously don't Bea: Don't come Bea: I'll send you the money Bea: whatever, I don't care Fraze: Alright Bea: Good luck with Bea: whatever it is Fraze: It ain't about luck Fraze: Save your breath Bea: So I can't say anything now? Bea: Fine Fraze: I don't need your help or whatever the fuck that was Bea: I didn't offer help Fraze: Like I said, whatever the hell you are offering, don't Bea: I said I don't need you now Fraze: Fuck off then Bea: You're more than capable of ending the conversation yourself Bea: I'm not doing it for you Fraze: Do it for yourself Bea: Like you care Fraze: 'Course I do Bea: Yeah right Fraze: Yeah right Fraze: I love you Bea: I wanted you to come Fraze: I'll be there Bea: It's a stupid reason to come Fraze: That's not the reason I'm showing up Fraze: It's an excuse for why I can Bea: I miss you so much I can't think properly Bea: it's fucking me up Fraze: I know, me too Bea: I don't know what we should do Fraze: I know what you should do, it's what you're already doing Fraze: You belong there, babe Bea: That's not the answer to the question I asked though Bea: just an answer Fraze: Yeah well Bea: I know Fraze: Nothing's how I thought it'd be or how I want it but I'm trying to work it out Bea: I'm proud of you Fraze: Don't be Fraze: Not for this Bea: Alright, I'll be proud when you work it out Bea: better? Fraze: Yeah Bea: It's just another stepping stone, yeah Bea: it's not permanent Fraze: I fucking hope not Bea: Me too Fraze: I don't know how to explain how wrong all of this is Bea: I'm the one person you really don't have to explain it too though so Bea: that's something Fraze: If it was just you, us Fraze: But everything is so fucked Bea: Like what else Bea: please talk to me Fraze: I've made too many mistakes here, with this Fraze: I don't know if I should've done any of it Bea: Your course or uni as a whole? Fraze: Maybe it'd be different somewhere else, maybe it wouldn't Bea: You can transfer credits, but yeah Bea: a gamble on a maybe Bea: there's always options, different ways to get to what you want, you ain't trapped Bea: alright, remember, like Fraze: I ain't a quitter either Bea: Then don't Bea: but you're no idiot Bea: so you wouldn't stay if it made no sense Fraze: I've stayed this long, I feel like an idiot Bea: It's a big deal Bea: you wouldn't wanna drop out then regret that, you need to be sure what you wanna do Fraze: I know Bea: You're not an idiot Fraze: Don't be nice to me now Bea: Fuck you Bea: better? Fraze: I miss you Fraze: If you wanna feel sorry for me over something it can be that Bea: I mean Bea: yeah, that's a shitty state of affairs to be in Fraze: Exactly Bea: Of all the people in all the world to miss Fraze: I picked the best one Fraze: Not that much of an idiot, clearly Bea: Shut up Bea: you aren't allowed to be nice either Fraze: You can't make me and you seriously can't stop me Bea: Give you the former Bea: but I've definitely just proved I can stop you being nice easy as Fraze: That weren't you it was me Bea: You're really gonna hit me with that cliche now? Bea: Ouch 💔 Fraze: It's a cliche for a reason, Red Bea: 'Cos people rely on it when they don't wanna be honest, like Fraze: And 'cause it's a numbers thing and in this case it's always gonna be me being a cunt more than it is you Bea: Nah Bea: I don't like to be outdone, thank you Fraze: Give me this one thing, yeah? Bea: Hmm Bea: begrudgingly Bea: if we never speak of it again Fraze: I'll take it silently Bea: 😏 Fraze: Shut up Bea: I didn't say anything Bea: rude! Fraze: I know what you're thinking Bea: Interesting Bea: but actually Fraze: But actually don't start, you already know I miss you Bea: Fine Bea: boring but fine Fraze: It ain't boring to want to survive until I can see you in person Fraze: Or touch you in person Bea: I really wish your flight was sooner Fraze: If I could change it, I would Bea: Be worth the wait Bea: always is Fraze: You always are Bea: Don't be saying that to anyone else Bea: just me yeah Fraze: I'm not waiting for anyone else, just you Bea: Still Fraze: Come on Fraze: You know you're the only one worth anything to me Bea: I don't wanna talk about them Fraze: I'm talking about you, nobody else Bea: Yeah Fraze: Yeah Bea: You don't need a hotel room Fraze: I don't want one Bea: Good 'cos I'm not paying Fraze: Buy me a drink and I'll get over it Bea: I don't know Bea: not your birthday Bea: we'll see Fraze: It ain't NYE either but I'll still see you in that dress again Bea: Exactly Bea: Don't push your luck Fraze: It's my luck, you can't tell me what to do with it Bea: I have missed you Fraze: Good Bea: Do you know what you're gonna do this summer Fraze: Find a job Fraze: Why, what are you gonna do? Bea: I don't know Bea: Probably the same Bea: that lot are talking about traveling but I don't think I fancy it Fraze: 'Course not Fraze: I can picture the kind of bullshit they are planning to do Fraze: Don't even have to know 'em Bea: Least it's not ski season Bea: I'd rather get ahead in any which ways I can Fraze: There or here? Bea: Don't know that either Bea: depends if there's any point being near the uni or I'll have to do it myself Fraze: Fair point Bea: Not like I'm ready for an apprenticeship or anything but might be something more relevant than working in a shop again or whatever Fraze: Exactly Bea: Depends depends Fraze: You can make something happen Fraze: This place has summer shit going on and it ain't as fancy as yours Fraze: The professors are already trying to get anyone who will to give 'em a hand Bea: Yeah Bea: I guess Fraze: Come on Fraze: You're top of your class ain't you, all the teachers will be tripping over themselves to help you out Bea: Obviously Bea: it ain't that Bea: maybe I should go somewhere as well Bea: it's not all about the academics is it Fraze: You'll have time to do both Fraze: If you want Bea: You're right Bea: it's just prioritizing what I want most Fraze: Nothing new there then Fraze: That's all life is basically Bea: Pretty much Fraze: You'll figure it out, you always do Bea: 'Course Bea: not complaining, got enough time to sort all that Bea: right now I need to get ready Fraze: You and me both, babe Bea: What you up to? Fraze: Gym first then it'll get put to a vote so half the lads don't cry off before we've even started Bea: That's cute Bea: very diplomatic Fraze: You're not the only one with wanky friends, what can I say? Bea: 😏 Bea: should connect them up Fraze: Fucking hell cheers for that thought, like Fraze: Not good enough to distract me from asking where you're going though Bea: Tragically the gender gap means there's like 3 other girls on my course so naturally yours will be devastated but can't fix that one myself Bea: Gonna go London Bea: got a free tomorrow Fraze: But gay Jordan will be in his element Fraze: Speaking of, say hi to your besties from me then Bea: Swings and roundabouts Bea: Will do Fraze: Cheers Bea: 'Course Bea: any message, I'm your girl Fraze: 'Course Bea: Has Joe spoke to your 'rents recently or do I actually need to nag him Fraze: Don't be stupid Fraze: Like you he only starts a convo if he needs something Bea: Right Fraze: It ain't but it also ain't my problem Bea: Mine either Fraze: Why bring him up then? Fraze: You don't love to nag that much Bea: Because he'll be there Fraze: It makes no odds to me, I won't Bea: It'd be weird if I acted like he wasn't Bea: no need to think on it any more than that Fraze: It's weird that he is, but whatever Bea: What do you mean Fraze: What I said Bea: And that is? Fraze: Him hanging out with that lot is weird Bea: Just different from what you wanna do Fraze: If you like Bea: They've got stuff in common Bea: why not Fraze: I'd have shit in common with your Cambs mates if I tried hard enough, don't mean I'm gonna come back to hang out Bea: You aren't related to any of them Fraze: Don't Bea: Well, don't you be stupid Bea: it's obvious, whether you want to think about it or not Fraze: Shut up Bea: Whatever Fraze: Go get ready Bea: I am Bea: but message received Fraze: Whatever Fraze: I've gotta go Bea: Have fun Fraze: Yeah, you too Bea: Slainte Fraze: [time skip moment let's all take a sec to appreciate them both rocking a look] Bea: [naturally, as if you didn't miss each other enough lmao] Fraze: [this is why I LOVE you both so much] Bea: [see if I can find a pic but lord knows] Fraze: [likewise but we know the luck I have with boy clothes] Bea: [are they opposite each other or next to each other it's important] Fraze: [lets commit to opposite for the eye contact if no other reason lol] Bea: [definitely] Bea: See, they aren't THAT bad Fraze: I never said they were Bea: Your face is very expressive Fraze: If you look long enough, 'course it is Fraze: [a look because I must] Bea: [just smirking and catching his eye before looking away really fast] Fraze: [shaking his head but not in a shady way we know he loves it and her bye] Bea: See? Bea: Blatant Fraze: You already know what I'm thinking, I ain't gonna bother putting a front on, like Bea: I didn't say I mind Fraze: You don't have to, I know you don't Bea: What else do you know, smartypants Fraze: I know you look even better in that than you did at New Year's Bea: I'll take it Bea: you're not as wasted as you were then Bea: [looks at him like she's checking] Fraze: Not yet Bea: You reckon you can get on that level tonight Bea: Doubt it Fraze: 'Course I could Fraze: Easy Bea: Better get a round in then, hadn't I Bea: call it consolation Bea: [is getting every hoes order] Fraze: [helps because he's that bitch] Bea: [whatta couple] Fraze: [let's take a moment to appreciate how sociable he actually is though despite the moody cunt he also is casually he's my dad haha] Bea: [hence she woulda invited him, beyond the obvious of wanting to, 'cos he's not gonna embarrass her like bronson accidentally would lbr] Fraze: [oh bless him he's not the one you need in a time like this] Bea: [at the bar like 'would your dad pay you for the summer, like?'] Fraze: [he shrugs but we both know he's thought about it 'depends who else he's got on the payroll'] Bea: [nods and nudges him, 'worth a thought, worse ways to spend a summer'] Fraze: [nudges her back and gives her a LOOK which we know means he can think of better ways too] Bea: [blushes and says 'shut up' as if he's said anything but still returning the look whilst they wait obvs] Fraze: [eye contact 5ever cos its my fave thing but 😏 because when you're that pale there's no hiding that blush soz Bea] Bea: [when a nudge turns to a shove but he's tol and you're smol so not like he's going flying] Fraze: [he'd just lol because loves it] Bea: [making him carry most of it 'cos you're faux mad] Fraze: [not gonna faze him cos 1. he's that bitch and 2. his dad literally owns a pub we know he's got this 3. he'd probably take more than she needs him to in order to show off anyway cos also that bitch]] Bea: [when you love that bitch] Fraze: [when you're just looking at her like deny that was impressive] Bea: [raises her glass/eyebrow at him sassily] Fraze: [backatcha on both counts of course then he's talking to whoever just casually being the life and soul like fine I'll play to my impressed audience] Bea: [tbf you better socialize too babe, don't lose your friends, at least one should be a relatively hot lad for the jealousy moment] Fraze: [omg yes do it talk to him girl] Bea: [can't all be harmless nerds, like] Fraze: [at least he can retaliate by talking to the hottest girlfriend there cos its all couples and they can't all be gay either haha] Bea: [imagine lmao] Fraze: [some of them should be cos clearly she attracts the gays to her by being such a bad bitch] Bea: [gay men are always here for a bad bitch so true, just casually fuming rn, you two are so petty] Fraze: [smoke break even if the rest of them probably fucking vape now or whatever cos likewise he is mad lol] Bea: thanks for the invite Fraze: I reckoned you'd be too busy Bea: Firstly, how Bea: secondly, not the point Fraze: You and Ollie getting on like a church on fire is both the how and the point Bea: With his girlfriend right there, please Bea: Point is you clearly would rather be out there with Bea: I don't even know her name Fraze: Maybe if you chatted to any other cunt besides him you would Bea: Ridiculous Bea: I haven't talked to anyone more than anyone else Fraze: Yeah, you are Fraze: Spotlight's meant to be on the birthday boy, remember Bea: You wouldn't know who I'm talking to Bea: you ran away Fraze: I went for a smoke Fraze: You'll still be laughing at his jokes when I'm done Bea: I ain't laughing, trust Bea: everyone knows I smoke, so I look like a twat, thanks Fraze: So tear yourself away from that twat and come out now Bea: If you think I'm following you anywhere Bea: that's miles worse Fraze: Christ's sake Fraze: I'll come and carry you out if you don't, how's that for worse Bea: That about sums it up Fraze: 'Cause you'd rather stay with him Bea: Yes, obviously Bea: it has nothing to do with how you've behaved at all Bea: just wanna fuck him so much, present company be damned Fraze: Yeah, obviously Fraze: If I was behaving badly I wouldn't be here Bea: I'm meant to thank you for that, am I Fraze: I'd take you not assuming I faked needing a smoke so I could fuck Kate up against the bins Bea: Shut the fuck up Fraze: Make me Fraze: You'll have to get his tongue out your ear first though so I won't hold my breath Bea: [Obvs gonna storm out there for better or worse, 'scuse me everyone Fraze: [I have a mental image like that song in rent when everyone's just looking like OMG then following the sing fight I am lol] Bea: [lmao if only you could be so shameless people] Fraze: [posh or middle class peeps could never tbh you gotta be full fish wife hanging out the window like oiii] Bea: [tbf you'd be getting a show so like stay seated please] Fraze: [for real though Kate needs to fuck off sharpish also please] Bea: [also triggered by her being called Kate tbh, too close to home, don't need them mems] Fraze: [I'm so rude I know] Bea: [Lbr she'd probably ask her to leave, not like she's on her course, not gotta be besties] Fraze: [she might not even go to that entire uni so who cares] Bea: [tbh, soz honey, but then purposely staying a stupid distance away from him as she lights up her own cigarette] Fraze: [we all know he's just waiting for her to break first so he doesn't have to be the one to say/do anything oh so casually smoking but staring at her like] Bea: [ah the casual game of wills] Fraze: [the literal years of this though don't even start thinking about it] Bea: [just being cocky af and looking at him like 'nothing to say?' 'cos that means she's shut him up so a win either way on this one I'm afraid] Fraze: ['I've got loads to say, it's just that none of it's to you, that's your problem with me, babe' because he knows exactly what that look means of course] Bea: [Scoffs 'Bullshit' we all know Kate was not that interesting Fraze: ['You wish' but she's right and that's the tea] Bea: ['That's why you were paying so much attention to mine and Ollie's conversation then, sure'] Fraze: ['That's why you were flaunting it'] Bea: ['I'm not pretending to be interested' bit rude to your friend but ok] Fraze: ['That makes two of us' when you've finished your 🚬 but you don't leave] Bea: ['I don't believe you' when you say it with as much confidence as you can but this is the time of doubt so fun] Fraze: ['So what if you don't' ouch don't be so rude we all know you care] Bea: ['So- we're done here' when you clearly are not done with your 🚬 but you gotta throw that shit anyway 'cos you can't] Fraze: [when she doesn't have a sleeve so you gotta grab her wrist to stop her going and we all know what a dangerous game that is] Bea: [pushing him way harder than any bants earlier, onto whatever bench situation is out here so she can kiss him harder, eventually breaking away 'Go fuck her now'] Fraze: ['We're not done. You and me we ain't ever done' and if she needed the proof then of course he's kissing her as hard as she kissed him] Bea: [I'll be mean and stop them before it becomes x-rated by someone coming out then awkwardly being like whoops, but we're moving onto this club so come on] Fraze: [soz to that poor random individual] Bea: [Won't be Kate she's already traumatized] Fraze: [Hopefully it's none of her friends she don't need that] Bea: [although if it was that'd be a thingTM 'cos boys, however nice, would be weird about it like ooh 'cos she's hot and now a dark horse] Fraze: [omg good point actually I change my mind] Fraze: [also the 💋 everywhere is making me die bye] Bea: [gotta clean his face for him before they go] Fraze: [that shouldn't be as hot as it obviously would be oh you guys] Bea: [when you'd be tempted to leave some 'cos territorial Fraze: [she's so gotta cos he wouldn't care we all know it] Bea: [with a casual lovebite probably] Fraze: [it's a mood] Bea: [this club ain't, typical student fare though] Fraze: [oh god it'd be so shit] Bea: [drinks would be cheap-ish at least] Fraze: [yeah that's always the one good thing even if they taste like shit as a result these two ain't me so they ain't gonna be fussed] Bea: [and if you gotta be here and interrupted, like] Fraze: [exactly you know he'd go straight to get many drinks that they both need] Bea: [shots shots shots] Fraze: [needs must] Bea: [get a booth you posh boys] Fraze: [gotta have at least one use thank you] Bea: [cosy cosy everyone] Fraze: [how awkward I could not] Bea: [like hey kate hey ollie] Fraze: [shamelessly talking to the others and not him or her god bless you boy] Bea: [she'd notice 'cos both as extra as each other and shamelessly appreciate it like] Fraze: [and of course going up the bar again even though it ain't his turn just so he can leave the booth for a hot sec] Bea: [when you get up like you're gonna help but then you make your way to the dancefloor] Fraze: [we all know he's shamelessly looking at her along with many other peeps] Bea: [enjoy this glimpse of messiness lads] Fraze: [when you're torn cos on the one hand you wanna go get her and be like don't but on the other hand you wanna let her do her thing because it's a mood oh boy what are you gonna do] Bea: [at least nothing too outrageous is happening, just being perved on lowkey] Fraze: [she's used to that and worse but don't think about it] Bea: [she's only checking he's watching lbr fuck the lot of yas] Fraze: [oh girl you know he couldn't look away if he wanted to and he doesn't want to anyway so] Bea: [hop off to the bathroom honey] Fraze: [when you wanna follow her but what she said earlier is true] Bea: [don't worry, I has a reason lol] Bea: you wanna come get a line Fraze: Thought you'd never ask Bea: you didn't know I had any Fraze: It's term time, of course you do Bea: Not for long, babe Fraze: [shows up to your function]

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