#I'm not sure what to call it honestly
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realised i haven't really posted a proper pic of my durge. so here's Tavis/Noon :} she fluctuates between being a menace of macabre whimsy and a menace with hubris burning like a thousand suns
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#durge#oc: tavis/noon#from the start of the game til the end of act 2 she's called tavis (given name) bc she forgot she'd used to go by noon#but then she picks it up again#(i haven't decided for 100% but for now i hc she finds some letter(s) ft. the name and recalls it was her)#i call her both bc honestly i'm not sure what she's gonna end up with and they're both her to me!#anyway she wants to be a god so bad fr. that will def not bring her or anyone else any further trouble ever#:)#i also love her so much it's a bit embarrassing
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I think people sleep on this moment in the Odyssey...
If I'm wrong, not getting full context, or see something that isn't there, feel free to give evidence to explain why.
Here he crept under a pair of bushes, one an olive, the other a wild olive, which grew from the same stem with their branches so closely intertwined that when the winds blew moist not a breath could get inside, nor could the rain soak right through to the earth.
(Book 5, Rieu)
I think this is about Penelope and him.
Obviously, their marriage bed is made from an Olive tree. If it's just about Athena then why are there two mentioned? Why did Homer mention two when he could've just said he took refuge under one? Or a completely different type of tree? Why mention them being intertwined?
One an olive: Penelope, who has been with society and "safe" in Ithaca ("Safe" because of the suitors)
One wild: Odysseus, who has dealt with literal monsters and immortals and has just escaped from Calypso. Literally naked and filthy, a "wild man".
"which grew from the same stem with their branches": Them both being together at first, before being separated.
"so closely intertwined that when the winds blew moist not a breath could get inside, nor could the rain soak right through to the earth.": Despite being separated, they are still "intertwined". Whether you want to think of it as them being likeminded or simply connected, even though they are apart, nothing could get in between them. 🥺
I don't know what else Homer could be referring to other than them.
#It's funny to me as even though she's not always mentioned when he retells his tale to the Phaeacians. The narrator mentions her CONSTANTLY#Because even if Odysseus doesn't say it. He's thinking about her often#honestly I...I don't think it COULD be anything else but I'm sure people will be mad that the simp loves his wife. 🤷#This part is the reason why I mention them calling the bed their “nest” as that's what THIS part calls it too. and I find it really cute#It was a nest where he SHOULD have stayed in with his family but no... :'D#half-empty nest😞#also it could be him comforting himself??? He's been forced to be in beds he doesn't want to be in for YEARS#Now. he's free and while it's not “fancy”. but at least it's SOMEWHAT like his own#greek mythology#tagamemnon#odyssey#the odyssey#penelope#odysseus#odypen#odysseus and penelope#odysseus x penelope#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#essay
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Alright new Jason Todd headcanons in a dpxdc setting:
Danny is a "liminal" ghost, rather than a "half" ghost. He's alive and dead at the same time. (He's like Jesus Christ (in the church denomination I grew up in), fully ghost and fully human.) Danny, in human form, can go through a ghost shield, because he IS a living human.
Jason, however, is a reanimated corpse. He isn't a ghost, wouldn't have a ghost core, etc, he has a normal human system that runs ON ectoplasm. Jason CANNOT go through a ghost shield, because he is always an ectoplasmic entity. Danny can go through the Fenton Ghost Catcher and be split into a ghost and a human; if Jason went through the ghost catcher, he would straight up die.
(For my purposes I'm gonna say that Jason became an ectoplasmic entity upon his resurrection, but wasn't very stable. Dunking in the Lazarus pit stabilized his system but also poisoned his ectoplasm.)
I do think that Jason could learn certain ghost abilities if he learned to harness his ectoplasm, especially if they detoxed him off the Lazarus waters. He's probably already enhancing his stealth and strength in ways he hasn't really noticed. I think he's held back by the amount of physical matter he's lugging around, so maybe he couldn't fly, but I'm imagining temporary invisibility, or intagibility of like, a limb at a time. Maybe he can't walk through walls, but in a fight he can dodge by instinctively making the targeted part of his body intangible.
#i saw someone call jason a 'revenant' in a fanfic once and that is juicy as hell so I'm stealing that- that's what he is in this au#Jason's ectoplasm does react to other ectoplasmic entities so they can sense eachother#but for ghosts he's fucking weird because he doesn't have a core for them to resonate with or w/e#danny would probably think that he's another halfa/liminal at first but the more time they spend together the more that doesn't add up#so I know that I'm trying to give Jason ghost powers but honestly this whole thing is kind of a bum deal for him#he gets all of a ghost's weaknesses and barely any of the benefits#honestly I'm conceptualizing this as more of a disability than a superpower#discovering that youre less alive than you thought you were and you're technically just a walking talking corpse running on supernatural go#is fucked up and creepy and upsetting!#and it's something that he would have to come to terms with before he could start exploring what new opportunities it might give him#and i think that's really interesting#it's part of why I love messing with Jason in dpxdc stories so much#danny is fully ghost and fully human and he never feels like he fits in anywhere already#Jason is not quite human and not quite ghost so you can imagine how that would go for him#anyways i think they should be best friends and visit frostbite in the realms to make sure jason is healthy and also they should maybe kiss#and listen to the black parade together and talk about dying and stuff#danny fenton#jason todd#dp x dc#dpxdc#danny phantom#dc#batfam#my rambles#revenant jason todd
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B is headed to a bachelor party this weekend which is going to heavily feature rock climbing and he just casually mentioned a couple walls they're planning to free solo (for non-climbers this means climbing without any gear/rope, aka you fall you die).
Me: "I'm sorry, say that again?" B: "It's not a big deal, they've done it before and I climb way higher grades just fine all the time." Me: "If you free solo this weekend you will come home to a motorcycle in the garage. Because if you get to risk your life for funsies, so do I."
B has agreed he will not be free soloing this weekend.
#not going to lie I'm not sure what I would have done if he called my bluff#because yes I very much want a motorcycle again#but also I think it's fair to say that FUCKING FREE SOLOING is more dangerous than riding a motorcycle in full gear#honestly#this man#“there's only one of you” he says#as if there are dozens of him running around??#i think not sir
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fearne: *is an Animal* imogen: *Gives Scritches*
#critical role#imogen x fearne#imogearne#ygifs#honestly god himself had 2 stop me from adding John mulaney's I Think Imogen Temult Is a Furry but yk what I don't need 2 see it 2 see it#imogen calling horse fearne a good girl like I've read enough 1 fic to have that ruined for me but I will absolutely definitely take it#not shown here but snake fearne in episode 3 just flicking her tongue at imogen to say hi ok yeah I mean sure#also rat fearne and imogen hijinks of imogen tryna shove her tiny rat ass through the BOTTOM of the door like sure I mean yeah#fearne turns into an animal and imogen goes I mean yeah thats mine#also means NOTHING to me that Imogen suggests quokka and fearne goes so I'm going with quokka as if that's not druid flirting OK I hate it h#itfcep
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Every time someone comments the state of musical theatre in their country by saying musicals here should be presented in English because the translations are awful, a muse loses its lyre.
I mean, sure, if you think musicals should always be sung in their original language to preserve the exact vocal flow the original artists intended or whatever other purist connoisseur reason, fine. You're entitled to that opinion.
But other than that, the correct statement is this: musicals here should be translated better because the current translations are awful.
Just saying.
#slightly related: Tom Waits's The Black Rider is being staged in Finland and the licence says they're not *allowed* to translate the songs#rumor has it that even having Finnish subtitles for them is forbidden but I'm not sure if that's true#but even if they only forbid singing a translation out loud that pisses me off to no end#I mean. sorry Tom but no matter what your lyrics for the show are like they're not all that#if Shakespeare can be translated to local languages wherever his plays are performed so can this. and any other text for that matter#translation is an art of its own and it deeply annoys me that with this show they're not even allowing anyone to take a shot at it#I honestly think the theatre should've just called bullshit and chosen some other show. just as a matter of principle#sometimes I hate it here#musicals
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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idk if this makes sense. but i kind of love that the last of us makes me cry and viscerally FEEL true emotions on a weekly basis. like i cant remember the last tv show i watched that had me consistently bawling my eyes out and so immersed in a show because of the characters, the story, the incredibly strong writing, etc. and it doesn't feel manipulative. it just feels profound and beautiful and poetic but also tragic and... human.
#it's a whole spectrum of emotion!!! it's beautifully tragically human!!!! is that not what it is to exist!!!!#and it's therapeutic honestly. to spend like an hour in a world that isnt real but that you can relate aspects of your life to.#and you can just connect to these characters and their experiences and release the emotions that have been building up inside.#i'm sure that if you've played the game you feel this all the more strongly#but as someone who hasn't and went into tlou without prior knowledge#i'm just very pleased with it and idk i love watching a show that can elicit such a strong reaction from me#granted i AM what people would call 'sensitive' and 'emotional' or whatever#but even for me i dont think i've felt quite this intensely about a show - especially not right away during a first season#these are just my half baked thoughts and i definitely could say so much more but i'll leave it here for now#sameera.txt#the last of us
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OH YEAH I SHOULD MENTION.
My URL may be transgender chiroptera, but that's mostly because I'm trans! Please remember that non-human animals cannot be transgender in the way humans are because gender is a human social construct and animals have not got the same kind of constructs as us! With notable exceptions like seahorses, generally speaking stories of 'trans' animals are usually stories of intersex animals, so please mind your language regarding these phenomena, because intersex people are super important to discussions of gender and sex (which is ALSO a spectrum btw)! In that vein, please don't call intersex animals naturally nonbinary. that's not how any of this works.
Also, while I haven't looked into any specific examples, I am certain bats can be intersex (as can any animal really), because genetics love to do their thing and cause variation in animal's sex characteristics! I'm going to look further into it at some point, but I'm mentioning just to head off potential questions about it :>
#I feel strongly about this because. well its a pet peeve of mine when people project human gender on animals#even when it's in a 'progressive' way.#sex being a spectrum isn't as widely known or accepted and people looveeee talking over and discrediting intersex people about it#and as a trans person I wanna show solidarity for the intersex community!#Not to mention HRT (which i am on) makes you less perisex and I am related to several intersex individuals (and honestly might be myself.)#so while I understand the intent please make sure you call it what it is!#feel it's worth mentioning given the url :) /I'm/ the transgender chiroptera! its me!#the bat pride flag edits are made in a 'hehe what if bat was trans' way I'm not genuinley claiming these things those r just for fun :)
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guy who got his 99 brothers murdered vs guy who cut out middleman and murdered all 99 of his brothers himself fight
#my post#fgo spoilers#I honestly don't even know what kind of spoilers these are. fsr? ordeal call? fuck if I know#duryodhana#Ashoka#oh god it's like a letter swapped from the sw character I'm sure the tags never cross
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did you see that they’re reworking viktor in league to make him more like his arcane version?
I did..... it's been leaked / discussed for months now that he's going to get a vgu, I hoped they wouldn't change much because I'm already a fan of his design and gameplay in league. it's been leaked that his gameplay won't change much (which is good) but uh.... yeah I've seen his model and it's pretty. interesting
#he's kind of just skinny mage guy now#he isn't the machine herald at all lol#and they're changing literally all of his skins#I figured if his model didn't change much they wouldn't alter his newer skins too heavily#but the redesign for his death sworn skin was leaked#I'm honestly a huge fan of what they did for it design wise but#it shows clearly that. he's skinny mage guy#there's no armor or anything#I'm going to remain optimistic and I'll definitely try him out in game#his gameplay is so fun to me so if they aren't changing it much I'll probably still be playing him#I hope.... he has at least one robotic skin...#like SURELY#he literally has a skin called “full machine”#so I'm guessing that skin will be like#budget walmart machine herald lmfaooooooo#ask mags
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vent in tags
#so i posted earlier saying i wish i could ask people what makes me so dislikable#and i was referring to a situation which happened to me in the past#and how i wish i could say to these people like what about me is so dislikable that you had to react the way you did#(i would like to clarify i was not in the wrong in this situation i have asked multiple people#and they agree i wasnt in the wrong so im not just saying it)#and an anon decides to send me an ask saying#ngl its the desperation for validation but i think youre cool#and it made me so upset because its such a fucking back handed compliment#because like i am aware of the fact im a people pleaser and i want to be liked by people#like i know its a huge flaw and i am trying to do better and not worry about what other people think about me#but its not something that is going to happen overnight#and so to point that out when im already aware of it and then follow it up with a backhanded compliment#is honestly really hurtful and just kinda really upset me#also saying that i'm desperate for validation like is just so#idk it just was so unnecessary for them to say that and phrase it that way#anyway im sure no one is gonna read this and if they do it probably makes no sense or it just sounds like#im being a whiny bitch and probably more anons are gonna come call me attention seeking or#say im looking for validation#but i just wanted to rant about it bc like there's ways to say things nicely to people and that was not one of them#esp when its a flaw im already aware of and would like to work on more#but again its not gonna disappear overnight!#butter’s thoughts
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go ahead, keep ignoring it. we both know you'll never be anything else.
#force masc#forcedlearning#force scientist#<- honestly i'm not sure what to call this yet so bear with#mechanophilia
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...
#time to overshare! not saying i'm about to transition or anything bc honestly i've made peace with that fact that IF i am a woman i'm not#only that. but i do wonder sometimes like well what if i had a dick and a flat chest and were masculine and feel things and i don't enjoy#being called a woman.. even tho i do that sometimes and it's fine bc i know what i mean. whereas a random person calling me a woman or a#girl doesn't. but i just don't think i'll ever transition bc of several things and i do enjoy being feminine... i'm just not sure if i ever#felt included in Womanhood or gayhood or whatever. idk i hope in the next life i come back as a gay guy#NOT GAYHOOD IJBOLLL#girlhood
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency
#ramblings#it's probably all three tbh#it's not severe. like i can live with this. it's fine#but also i generally wish i had a flatter chest#every time i imagine myself in my head i see myself with a flatter chest#but like do i wanna go through the trouble of getting rid of them entirely#or should i just try getting a binder or something#or should i just. leave things as they are#idfk#i don't think top surgery would be an option bc money and. i'm scared of surgery honestly#and the recovery looks painful as shit#and like what if i regret it? what if i was wrong and that wasn't the best option for me?#i think i should just try to get a binder or something. just see how that works for me#and contemplate surgery when i'm older and can support myself and am more sure of whether that's right for me or not#also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe#it's like. a thought that occassionally crosses my mind. at least once a day.. and doesn't leave for a while....#hm yeah no maybe it's not as mild as i thought it was actually. wonderful realization to come to in the middle of writing a post#anyways. idk if anyone has any binder recs or anything i'll take 'em#also maybe tips on how to approach my mom abt this?? idk if feels like something i should talk abt with her but idk how to even bring it up
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