#I'm not resentful at all though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

elbiotipo · 6 months ago

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Still nothing gets me angrier than that stupid "the chicken is the closest relative to the T-Rex" "fun fact" because a girl bullied me with that when I was 12 and I told her, NO, the closest relatives to the chickens are dromeosaurs and the like, in fact birds and chickens ARE dinosaurs, and she was like "no, no, I saw this on the internet, it's the T-Rex" and it was the stupidest meme of a chicken evolving from a Tyrannosaurus, I told her that was stupid and I had a book (we had classes in the library because of budget reasons) right there that said otherwise, she didn't want to listen to me and anyways, she called me mean names all the time.

I got a 10 in paleontology and I'm a biologist now, so I hope you're happy with your dumb meme, Daniela.

#I'm not resentful at all though #(as always this is hyperbole for comedic purposes)#cosas mias

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dogrocks · 1 year ago

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an au where dovewing trains in the dark forest instead of ivypool....

#draws #warrior cats #dovewing #ivypool #dovewing still has her powers and all that but the df decides to manipulate her instead. seeing how she could be a lot of use to them #she knows what she's doing by siding with them because she resents being part of a prophecy against her will #along with other things like lion and jay looking down at her. feeling replaced by hollyleaf etc #and is like well at least i'm liked for who i am here. and by the time she realises they're using her as well she's kinda in too deep #turned one of the prophecy cats against them. she gets redeemed in the end though because i heart her #idk what role ivypool would play in this au maybe she still spies by sneaking into the df since dovewing probably wouldn’t do it

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rendnotmyheart · 4 months ago

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Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.

#but then like uggghhhh thinking about iwtv soulmate au fics and like. they're not soulmates or meant to be but they choose each other anyway #their soulmate could be rotting in the ground or not even in existence yet. maybe they knew them in their human life. or vampire life #but nothing is a guarantee. and isn't it much more profound to choose your own companion anyhow? to love and choose them?#(little do they realize that's what a soulmate is. and even though they might not have the mark it's the same thing. to love and choose)#thinking about louis and armand specifically. like both of them would have Feelings about this i'm sure #louis and lestat are soulmates ofc. ofc there's some string of fate strangling them and they have to figure out what that means #i feel like louis would be resentful of it. like he loves lestat obviously but their relationship is turbulent at best so during the lows #louis 100% resents the universe and god and fate for tying the two of them together #lestat would assume it's all sunshine and roses now that he's found his soulmate and kind of assume it'll automatically work out?#and they'd have to come to terms with the fact that while they are soulmates #their relationship and what it is and how it goes isn't preordained. they still have to figure it out themselves #meanwhile armand and daniel aren't soulmates #god armand doesn't know who his is and he is very like. not melancholy #but he definitely holds that in his chest along with the other things that were taken from him #daniel for sure met his soulmate but like it was nothing compared to armand #and daniel doesn't really buy into the whole romanticization of soulmates anyway #armand kind of does and once they start their relationship he'd definitely have angst about preventing daniel from finding his soulmate #in this universe that could be another reason he tampered with daniel's memories (assuming that's what happened in the amc canon)#to give daniel a chance to live a full human life. to give him the chance to find his soulmate #but then daniel lives a life. he meets his soulmate. and at the end of it all he still chooses armand #and claudia? she just wants someone to choose her. she doesn't care if it's her soulmate or not. she doesn't care about that #maybe she used to romanticize it. having someone guaranteed. but she's seen soulmates hurt each other. both in her human and vampire life #and she knows it doesn't matter what fate or the universe says. people's choices and actions are their own #and so when madeleine chooses her they don't have the marks but claudia thinks maybe this is what a soulmate is after all #interview with the vampire #louis de pointe du lac #armand #claudia #daniel molloy #lestat de lioncourt

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transmascutena · 9 months ago

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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

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forestgreenlesbian · 8 months ago

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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

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mefistophallic · 5 months ago

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Removing the aux jacks from audio equipment was such a fucking scam and we all just let them do it

#I’ve been using an iPod classic again recently and I genuinely just like it way more than my phone #but modern audio equipment is all Bluetooth #I resent it so much lol #we had so much power in 2009 #putting batteries in speakers is a way of artificially shortening their lifespan #they last forever otherwise #a great speaker from the 90s is still great today. they DO NOT become obsolete #AND you’re paying for the Bluetooth so you get worse sound for the same price #though to be clear the problem is less the option of bluetooth and more the REMOVAL OF AUX JACKS #this is all also true of headphones (which are just tiny speakers for your ears)#while I'm at it - Spotify hides stats that were completely standard in iTunes or any other music library #and feeds them to you at the end of the year like a special present

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found--family · 8 months ago

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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen?

#burcon #cockles #thoughts #at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish #he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf #at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand #if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being #in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure #that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate #i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period #letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to #affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing #and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who #she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face #during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh #but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land #and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out #and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm #looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they #mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace #while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me #everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that #learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments #i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel #if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage #and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt #a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him #misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af #and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...

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orcelito · 2 months ago

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Thinking again about my plans for Vash and Knives in ITNL

Which I can't really get into the specifics for How I'm going to do things w/o going into spoiler territory. But I Do have Vash & Knives tagged on the fic for a reason. I set up in the first chapter that Vash is determined to try to save Knives too.

Which. That choice, as well as the entire basis for all of this, depends so much on that final fight in trimax. The one that was literally a scene away from where ITNL Vash went back in time. His mentality just a hair's width away from that...

At the end of trimax, there was reconciliation, however brief and incomplete it was. In ITNL, my question to myself was How could I induce that again? Under different circumstances, How Else could we get there? And that is the long-game in ITNL.

#speculation nation #itnl shit #i say reconciliation instead of redemption. because i think redemption is a difficult thing to capture well.#and it would require Knives to feel remorse or regret for his actions. which i dont think he would really.#but. potentially. if the stars align. maybe his goals can be redirected into something productive.#and maybe reconciliation can be achieved. just maybe.#the redirection here is important bc i dont think Knives would abandon his ideals Even If Vash got thru to him #but the key is convincing him that theres another way. that he can protect the plants w/o killing humanity.#easier said than done though. vash and knives are two peas in a pod after all. so incredibly stubborn.#but vash would want to try. because he Doesnt want to kill anyone. not even knives. though if it ended up necessary.....#well. better to try for reconciliation first. that one's as a last resort lol.#ultimately vash Does miss his brother. we see this at the end of trimax. that's the crux of that moment i think. for both of them.#realizing that once upon a time they only had each other. they were Brothers. they were Close. and they both Miss That.#those feelings were buried under miles of anger and resentment on both sides. but under the right circumstances.....#thats why it's important that ITNL was a hair's width away from that scene. bc he was on the verge of having that realization himself.#i replaced that moment with ITNL vash feeling thru the plant conglomerate the whole of knives' self. and his Realization.#the Knowledge that the brother he used to love is still in there somewhere. but he also wouldnt be able to survive this.#and thus his about-turn from 'nothing remained of the brother he loved. he had to stop him.' to 'i'm sorry. i'll save you too.'#hfalhxksd ultimately it's all so FINICKY and ive barely touched on it so far in ITNL. bc Knives has been off in the goop tube or whatever #but ive given it a Lot of thought. and id be so close to Getting There... to the next steps at least... if i kept writing.#hrrgmg. i am Thinking Thoughts...

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moe-broey · 3 months ago

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Sketch I accidentally put too close between other doodles

#i gotta get better at figuring out where battle scars would go... esp bc i'm so detailed about moe all the time LMFAO #one thing about the moefonse dynamic. is i think each envies the other to a degree.#in my notes i once described alfonse's feelings about moe as seeing an angel.#a beacon of the beauty life has to offer and hope. the magic and awe of seeing someone who is overtly and unapologetically queer #the beauty of seeing someone just fagging it up. with attitude. outspoken and crude.#writing that note was extremely funny though like. moe? we're talking about the same guy?#my shitass fuckhead homunculus who has every disease? guy who failed in every facet of life EXCEPT for the Bad things?#bc that's all it is and all it ever will be? a bad fucking thing. that guy????#well. it's a matter of perspective... perhaps.....#another focal part is how each have made all-or-nothing sacrifices to live the way they live.#alfonse will never be his own person so long as he's a prince and eventually king. he will always be whatever he Needs to be.#but he's also someone who's wired in such a way that. this makes sense for him. this IS what he wants and embraces it #esp for the good of all. 'those w power should use it to protect those who don't' (ashnard interaction)#that's his mentality. that's what he believes in. that's what he's going to embody no matter the cost.#meanwhile... moe. well. you know about moe. it's a tale as old as time for queer people unfortunately.#endlessly complicated on moe's end as well. the way it both resents and envies what alfonse is able to do.#idk i can talk about it forever. but i gotta organize my tags here i CAN'T HIT LIMIT 😭😭😭#moe tag #fe alfonse #moe lore #summoner oc #my art

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dxxtruction · 5 months ago

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I am kind of not seeing Armand wanting to kill Louis. This would be far too out of character for me to ever beleive. I'm thinking he was doing whatever he could to live in his definition of survival, or at least doing all this to maintain his bubble of control. The whole coven was against him, and I do legitimately believe Armand was oblivious due to love. Then when push came to shove he did make his choice, he did rehearse and go along with the play despite his feelings and his wants. Not out of character for someone who's used to being needless or same that he flood with emotion the moment someone [louis] actually cares about his needs. Or maybe more believable is that this plot - some version of it - started way before his feelings were ever real and this was a choice of following through with it. Under threat likely, him still not realizing the extent of the coven's desire for bloodlust. Him, maybe being misled to believe they'd hold off long enough to let it go if Louis was proven to simply stay with him. Maybe if it was his idea to begin with, and in this scenario he'd at least have been there when this was being thrown around, perhaps he really thought his power and ruling would dissuade its reality. And then the ball drops.

He didn't want to kill Louis, is my point. If he did he'd have done it way sooner, and he wouldn't have let him exact any kind of revenge. Though Claudia, Madeleine, I could see, but I also don't think by the time they're running off together he would want the alternative either. If anyone wanted this it was the coven. So, it's not a matter of wanting to Armand but choosing to do this despite that. The real question therefore is: Why would he choose to go forward with it/go along with it? That's what I think we need to be asking.

Is it that he makes the choice that he does, because it's easier to submit than rise up? It is because the choice really wasn't a choice at all? Was it practical to him? Don’t run to one thing when this other thing is guaranteed to stick around? Was he in too deep to back out by the time he thought it mattered whether they live or die? Much can be delved into there. Trying to figure out why he wanted it isn't going to bring up anything.

#iwtv spoilers #disclaimer: I'm not defending his choice and he got what was coming for him it was an awful thing to do #this is messy sorry #I don't think Armand was planning to fall in love I think he did and then he ends up regretting it because there's no way out that he can c #Wanting in part to preserve his coven somehow managing them while also wanting only louis and #There is an aspect about how the trial does sort of enact a kind of resentment fantasy for Armand onto Lestat though But I think STILL by #the time the trial is happening and it's been planned for a long time Armand's feelings drastically are NOT about his slight against #Lestat at all which would be a main motivation BUT it just cycles back to that when #Ending up with Louis does have to build back more resentment for Lestat so I almost see ep 5 as yet another resentment fantasy #Mostly cause he's a bit self interested in this #I also theorize armand and lestat had worked out privately that Louis would live Or Armand planned for Lestats hurricane to intervene

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wizardnuke · 1 year ago

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i love dnd..i love playing heavy utility/support/backfield and i love having three to six attacks in a turn and an insane ac. at heart im a support player ill get my hands on whatever we're missing in a group

#looks at a druid a fighter and a bard fighter. okay cleric time.#i LOVE playing cleric turns out.#though abjuration wizard is still super super fun its a different flavor of support #it's not buffs it's 'i am going to transfer literally all that damage to myself and war caster style succeed my witchbolt concentration'#doing insane amounts of damage while taking damage (+ with temp hp and then just a lot of hp. im taking the tough feat as soon as possible)#aabria iyengar was right these abjuration wizards are craaaazy. but war domain clerics also fuck hard #my abj wiz is very much an experiment in 'what if someone who is not at all suited to this life tries to adapt as well as she can'#the point is that she isn't a cleric. do u understand. she's not a cleric and that's the point it's the. hbbbgbfhb. she's out here #functioning as a combat medic on some aasimar features + healing kits/potions + arcane ward. Look At Me #i also really enjoy playing nonreligious characters in these worlds where deities 100% exist not in a 'fuck the gods' way but in #a way somewhere between 'i'm all i need' and 'i called and no one answered' and 'may or may not go on an insane power hungry spiral and #try to get a touch of godhood' which is in part very due to my own agnostic and people-loving heart and 'haha what if i icarused this girl'#a resentful caution towards gods an immense respect towards religious companions and 'when your god isn't here to help. i will be'#anyway REACTION arcane ward you don't take damage im fine. next turn reaction shield ward's back up. the thing is.#she will drive her hp down. the ward isn't much like it goes past that temp hp. it's 14hp that shit goes down and carries to her hp #but it never drops. any leveled spell puts hp back into the ward. a 1st lvl shield puts it at 2hp and she can use it again #she is not suited for these conditions but my god it is fun to watch. i care her.#i explained that subclass feature to a player that's not in that campaign and said. like. yeah she can take damage. when her ward drops to #0 it carries to her. any leveled abj spell puts it back up. and she can use it and drive her hp down again.#do u understand what i am explaining to u! do you get it! she is and has always been a punching bag!#she was a very valuable asset to the army and the group she was drafted! into. because when she's there. people just don't fucking go down #aside from her. aside from her. AAAAH. she's so cool. she is very smart i am still riding the high of critting every turn w witchbolt and #reacting to ward a party member against a crit that would have dropped him by taking the hit herself. and she didn't break concentration #badass

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apocalypticdemon · 4 months ago

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I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks #but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand #and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot #so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck #it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits #but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen #or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing #you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks #i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please

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lususnatura · 5 months ago

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burgeon employing 'natural insect hunters' which essentially means animals like bluebirds, as well as owls + frogs to control the amount of pests in his garden (which is honestly a HUGE place and has a spiral staircase + this is where you will find it most of the time) because he refuses to use pesticides is honestly... kind of iconic of him when you don't think about all of the atrocities it has committed JSJSJ i mean, because there have been studies done to show that they negatively affect other thing's besides insects themselves, such as the soil of the plants you are putting it on itself and non-target plants along with other creatures.

so you better bet that blamore has some thing's inside his garden that attracts these animals and he treats them kindly. and now that i've mentioned it, i suppose his appreciation for nature is one of the better qualities that blamore possesses — though i think it's bitterness towards humanity in general has still very much left him feeling lonely, and just having the occasional animal as company is not sustainable for it. which i think is part of why blamore has forged a bond with nico morselli because he is one of the few people who he can trust will not cringe at the sight of it / think less of it because he is vastly different from the person he used to be.

#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#ALL DARK ALL BLOODY MY HEART: character study.#so yeah... needless to say if he catches anyone who he has not explicity invited over to his greenhouse than it will be more than a LITTLE-#peeved. man's will be liable to at least kick them out on their face in fact because this is HIS sanctuary and it's not meant for anyone-#else + burgeon is so resentful towards humanity that he fears if it were to invite another person into it's life that it would ruin-#everything he's 'built' so-to-speak because it took him quite some time to at least become somewhat comfy with who he is now and the only-#people he loved (aka his father and erich) were killed and didn't approve of his plan to sort of 'wipe the slate clean' in erich's case so-#he's got a LOT of complex hatred towards humanity that was made through perceived betrayals and as well as very real ones.#not to say that i'm condoning him wanting to torch gotham to the ground ofc bc that is HORRIBLE but i'm just trying to explain why he is-#the way he is now.#and honestly... i didn't include thérèse or his mother in the list of people he has ever loved because although he DESIRED for her-#to love him the unfortunate fact of the matter is that she basically did not want him and treated him like trash all throughout the time-#he spent with her even though every kid deserves good parents. however not every parent deserves kids

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preseriesdean · 2 years ago

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We're lucky we had Dad. 1.14 'Nightmare' | 8.18 'Freaks and Geeks'

#spnedit #corespnedit #samdeanedit #samedit #deanedit #*#*sdc #i feel like both these moments can seem antithetical to the core of their personalities #but they're really not #dean does tell sam at some point that sam and john 'were practically the same person'#and this doubt dean had about his father was there all along even though he would have denied it throughout the earlier seasons #like that resentment about being left behind #and sam's shift from 'hunting sucks bye' to 'actually...' happens quite early on in the show #and throughout the rest (that s8 retirement mishap nonwithstanding) sam usually stands by the fact that hunting is all there is for him #whereas dean shows resentment towards the way he was raised even though he does resign himself to the lifestyle #i am in particular thinking about that scene with mary where shes like 'he was a good dad' and dean is like 'yeah...'#(if i'm not mistaken; almost everything post season 8 is second hand knowledge for me)#(also as far as characterization goes i tend to take everything post-s5 with a grain of salt)#idk just some thoughts #family is hell #my father was an obsessed bastard #you two were practically the same person #i always feel a bit ridiculous sharing my thoughts because its been 17 years and everything that can be said probably HAS been said already #but this is just me rediscovering My Show under a new light and it's fun :)#why do i have to be some kind of hero

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tmae3114 · 6 months ago

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just saw a post saying "the 'problem' is only in your heads" about people complaining about the utter saturation of exclusive shipping focus in fandom and the constant devaluation of platonic relationships that oh-so-often comes with it because "it IS platonic in canon and shipping can't change that" AS THOUGH THAT IS THE PROBLEM WE ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT AND I AM GOING TO SCREAM

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fenrirgraves · 18 days ago

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I haven't posted here in forever and I don't know how much I will still now even going forward. Post limit sucks and I don't even know what I actually want out of this website because fandom across the board is just dead to me and capitalism sucks and politicians suck and I'm honestly just so fucking exhausted with everything. Even the visual designs of the world we live in are just so boring and soul-sucking and corporate. I seek to be the eternal enemy of that, and douse the world in eyebleed colors and sounds most peculiar. But dude I am just so exhausted. I'm just so tired of all the violence, hatred, greed, and suffering in this world. The glorification of cruelty and ignorance. There is always beauty and love, always. But boy, it's been rough lately. October was a hell of a month, both incredible (got to see my favorite band twice in a row, as well as attend and play an incredible experimental music festival) and awful (lost my grandmother whom I have always been very, very close with).

And honestly dude I just always feel like a side of beef in general, like too little butter over too much bread, and this stuff isn't making it any easier. But I'm hanging in there and know the only way out is through, and the only way through is with love.

#personal #art #video art #noise #projection art #the polyester friends #vent #dude i don't even know #like what's the point of making tags #oh boy i hope someone finds me bitching about existence #but also still trying to remain hopeful #even though i feel absolutely fucking flattened by everything #only resentment i have is towards the rich #and the conservatives #but more the rich than anything else #i'm just so tired of all of this i spend so much time dissociating listening to music because jesus christ

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