#I'm not one of those people that needs GPS (and my car is too old for that shit too)

[kifu]

So! My exhaust went out on my car on my way down to see my parents. Sounds AWESOME. Killed my gas mileage and tripped a sensor. Both probably because there isn't enough back pressure, but my car is eight inches off the ground so I can't see shit.

My phone went out! Won't charge, won't register the sim card.

I AM SO FUCKING OVER THESE PROBLEMS!

[neonlitlesbians]

do you have a masterpost or some key posts that help explain the setting/worldbuilding or context for your ocs? or intro posts to learn about them?

oh shit oh shit oh shittttt ok i really need to organize a little better around here BUT i have a little bit i can offer right now! (ive been meaning to make intro posts for my ocs, thank you for the reminder—i will try to get on that soon!)

(LOTS under the cut you have no idea how much i have to say!! thank you SO much for this ask)

The World

Alana and her friends live in a huge, dying cyberpunk city.

Nine years ago, the algorithm governing the city decided that infinite capitalistic growth was no longer sustainable, and went into power saving mode. Those who hid, survived; the vast majority of the city's inhabitants were given a choice between dying and going into stasis. The remaining inhabitants have come to refer to this event as the Crash.

It's not like they could just leave—The Old Internet is chewed up and defunct, existing only in archives; the remains of GPS satellites have long since crashed to earth; and it's not like an old map would be much good, since a city in what was once barren Nevada is now... on the coast.

Understandably, the ones surviving today are still traumatized, as well as lost and more than a little bored.

(The city's name hasn't been established yet—i might just call it The City but i'm not sure yet.)

Characters

Each of these characters is diligently tagged on my blog, so you can search through all of my art that features them!

Alana/The Watcher (she/her) – One of the most capable fighters in town. Angry and quiet, but deeply caring. Died and was brought back to life by Ethlyn, now running on both red and black blood. Literature nerd and occasional writer. Zinnia's lover, Ethlyn's best friend, and Hostility's dueling partner.

Electra (any) – Alana's childhood best friend, returned after a nine-year absence. Can suck the charge out of electronics, store it, and release it. Incredibly strong, and one of the two people who can evenly duel Alana (Hostility being the other). Protective and confident.

Zinnia (she/her) – A workaholic journalist who was nearly killed by a structural collapse. Saved by Alana and given a new body by Ethlyn, she now tails Alana with a camera and documents the ruined city in photo form (not like there's much to write articles about). Quiet and serious, tending to come off as rather cold. Alana's lover.

Ethlyn Calloway (she/her) – A genius engineer, especially in the field of cybernetics, and kind of a horndog. Made most of her friends' augments and then some. Extremely hyperactive, chronically short of sleep, and prone to mood swings. The cast's leading historian on the old, defunct Internet. Bell's girlfriend and Alana's savior.

Bell Anderson (he/she) – An incredibly skilled medical doctor and surgeon. Helps Ethlyn with installing cybernetics, and was critical to Alana and Zinnia's survival. Also a highly capable chef (a good thing, too—Ethlyn would survive on nuggies alone without him). Amiable, generous, and open. Ethlyn's lover and caretaker, but gets along well with just about anyone.

Hostility (she/her) – A capable engineer and swordsmith. Made all of her own augments, as well as Nico's and some of Darcy's. Makes and maintains Alana's weaponry as well as many others'. Built an entire car out of scraps from the junkyard that she melted down and reforged. Wise and laid-back. Crowe's girlfriend, Alana's friend, and one of Rat's closer friends.

Rat Manchu (she/it) – An informant. The "word on the street." Shrewd, greasy, and much smarter than she looks. Kind of an asshole and hard to get along with, but ultimately means well. (Usually.) Also has a car (but Nico usually takes the keys before she can do anything stupid). Gay and in love with Nico and Darcy.

Nico Lombard (they/them) – A former cop and current encrypted-data-vault-slash-blank-slate. Jailbroken thanks to Hostility and Darcy, and now lives with Darcy and Rat. Still figuring themself out. Gay and in love with Darcy and Rat.

Darcy Relayer (shx/hxr) – A 1337 H4XX0R with some of the juiciest databases on the network at hxr (many) fingertips. A little bit insane. Just as hyperactive as Ethlyn, but more data-driven. Prone to using goofy slang terms from bygone eras. Gay and in love with Rat and Nico.

The Guitarist (she/her) – A traveler from abroad who plays at the Z-Axis, though sometimes you can hear her music on the wind at the edge of town. Blind and mute, relying mainly on her guitar to communicate. Doesn't really have any strong ties to anyone, past or present. Mysterious, but easy to get along with.

Crowe Stormwell (she/they) – A dancer and prostitute at the Z-Axis bar. Ethlyn's favorite test subject to try new types and models of cybernetics on. Whimsical and sensual. Hostility's girlfriend.

Aly (they/she) – [WIP] The bartender at the Z-Axis. The cast's only fully fledged android. Happy-go-lucky. Narcoleptic due to a faulty power source. Crowe's roommate, when they don't just pass out at the bar.

Lizzy (xe/xer) – A reclusive tailor, printer, hairstylist, and artist responsible for a lot of the group's clothing, especially the quality stuff like Alana's outfits and Bell's lab coat. Capable of restoring physical media like books, as well as giving tattoos.

The Keeper (she/her) – The sole occupant of the lighthouse at the edge of town. A little cagey, but ventures into town now and again. Farms her own food, and trades with the rest of the cast on occasion.

[youngbuckreezy]

Park Way South

This is a revision I worked on for Turn Pike South; the first story I posted to this blog. After I got eliminated from the flash fiction challenge, I still felt my literary motor running, so I decided to dig this story back up. A good friend and I hammered out a smoother, more digestible version of it and I'm pretty proud. Enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m driving and it must be ten o’clock at night. Southbound on the Taconic at this time of night, in this part of NY state, is a lonely time to drive. Every so often I’ll see another car, lit from within by the glow of a radio or a phone displaying GPS navigation. But mostly, it’s just me and the road. 

There’re hardly any streetlights to speak of, so on a moonless night like this one it’s just you and your headlights. On either side of the highway there’s dense woods. But at this time of night it may as well be a pair of black walls on either side of you. If you slow your car down and look closely enough you could swear you saw a pair of eyes staring at you, or hear a long, mournful howl. Dark as the edge, I tell you.

I like it out here, when it’s like this. I’ve always been the type to get overwhelmed. Overstimulated is the therapy term they use these days. But out here, amid the dark and cold and unknown, I can handle everything. Nothing screams at me; or demands my attention. I am observant and unobserved, just the way I like it. 

Vibes being immaculate though they are, the moment needs music. I turn my car radio on and scan the stations.

87.8: Static

89.3: Hot to Go by Chappel Roan

91.5: Hot to Go by Chappel Roan

98.7: Stranglehold by Ted Nugent

99.1: An old man with a folksy accent talking about the absolution of the soul and the separation of oneself from sin. His tone of voice suggests that his next words will be either “donate now” or “drink the Kool-Aid”

101.1: Hot to Go by Chappel Roan

And then right back around to 87.8. I got no issue with Chappell Roan, but she just won’t suit the vibe. 

Driving south, I know that in about 45 minutes I’ll start seeing the signs of New York City, and all the darkness and the static will give way to light and people and pop music and, for fuck’s sake, maybe even some traffic at this time of night. 

Exit 14 goes past. Exit 13. Exit 12. Exit 9 is my exit. Once I take that exit off the highway it’s just a few turns and I’m back at my house. 

I hazard a glance at those great walls of oblivion black on either side of me that pretend to be trees in the daylight. I press my hand to my window to feel the insidious fingers of invernal chill creeping their way in. I listen for that long, mournful howl. 

I want to continue this drive. But to do so, I need some decent fucking music.

Several years ago I was at a bar in Chicago and a guy told me about this ritual, one that’s supposed to take you to the “other side.” “It’s the place where they make the dreams, where the nightmares and boogeymen live” he’d said. He told me he does it sometimes when he wants to see some “cool, spooky shit.” 

“The trick” the guy had said “is to convince yourself that you’re dying. Just for a second. Requires a lot of practice in achieving gnosis, but once you do, you’ll go straight over the border into the other side. You gotta try it sometime, dude. They got kick ass music over there.” 

“You’re supposed to do this while you’re fucking driving?” I said to him. 

“Hunnid percent.” He said. “S’the most dangerous thing most people will do day to day. The other side is closest when we’re out there. So close to our own death without even knowing it. Best time to make contact.”

I’ve never done it before, always sounded too risky. But I’m out here in the dark and I like it. It’s cozy. I decide I’m not quite ready to go back home, and I want to hear some of these kick-ass tunes they have in Hell or whatever.

I turn the static on the radio up as loud as it will go and press my foot down a little harder on the gas. As faint as a sound can be at the very bottom of the static, a voice speaks. I turn off my headlights and all of the cabin lights. I take my hands off the wheel and close my eyes. The voice speaks in a calm, steady tone, as if giving instructions on how to perform routine maintenance on a toaster.  

“Werzak min flal. Jeru kaminel shabob haroth. Karunes menilay harutaga.”

My foot stays on the gas; the car’s picking up speed. Must be at 70 MPH now. The voice on the radio speaks steadily and hypnotically in no language I know of. 

“Varun klep intajebon intef alluhain”

I remove a razor blade from my glove compartment. A small, cruel, rusted instrument. The car’s gotta be up to 85, now. The voice speaks on. 

“Hith dy vanklo impta maris ta shak krath oan tak. Myse do an kay lentebran arratta nil.”

I hold the tip of the blade to the underside of my forearm.  

“Misk.” The voice says. “Misk! Misk!” 

I drag the blade vertically through my flesh from the center of my forearm toward my hand. Blood cascades after it. My entire arm and left pant leg are bathed in cloying warmth. 

Slowly I open my eyes and place my hands back on the wheel. The voice from the radio no longer speaks. I turn my headlights back on. I see a sign off in the distance. 

Exit Negative 612.823

“Phew,” I think; “It worked.”

The wound and the blood have disappeared from my arm, and the road in front of my car, and the world around it, have taken on a strange tinge. Lit, but not from anywhere. Almost like a photo negative. 

I back the car back down to a conservative 60 miles an hour, turn on the radio and scan the stations.  

87.8: Come and Get Your Love, but instead of the original version by Redbone it sounds like a cover performed by Slayer. The second chorus yields to an extended electric guitar solo that I find a little indulgent.  

89.3: Concert recording from David Bowie’s latest tour “Welcome Back Major Tom” recorded live in The Place Beyond the Seventh Gate. Somehow Iggy Pop joins him. I jam to that for a while. 

91.5: Hot to Go by Chappel Roan

92.3: A soft-voiced, androgynous radio announcer is speaking. “Thank you so much for that enlightening interview, Charles. It’s always great to have you on the program. In a little bit we’re going to get back to talking about the issues facing the modern Skinwalker and the important cultural differences between them and the Wendigo. But in the meantime, we’ve got a very special recording for you tonight. This was released just a couple of weeks ago and I’ll tell you, I haven’t been able to stop listening to it. We’ve got Carry Ellison’s Schizophrenic Hallucinations. I sure hope you enjoy.”

I listen Carry Ellison for a while. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what instruments she’s using to make the sounds she’s making. Might be something they only have here on the other side. Or it might be a synth. They go back to the interview, and I’m not in the mood.

98.7:  Literally, just screaming.

99.1: The ghosts of Marshall Applewhite and Jim Jones’ weekly radio show where they talk to various other failed messiahs and incomplete godheads. This week’s special guest is David Koresh. He had some interesting things to say, but I felt like the show was mostly Jim and Marshall bitching to each other about how they just don’t make cults like they used to. Losers. 

101.1: Erich Zann; live from Rue D'Auseil.

I drive on, listening to the radio for a while. The road stays dark and straight. I occasionally glance out the side of my car and this time, for sure, I can see a pair of eyes following my car from the dark. I can just barely make out that gaping maw of that frumious thing that makes that long, mournful howl.   

Exit 477,869.22753, Exit Eleventy Seven Gajillion, Exit π

A glance at the clock and I realize it’s been two hours that I’ve been driving around, listening to Erich Zann play his viol. My ass is getting sore, and it’s starting to get cold in my car, in spite of the blasting heat. I reach into my glove compartment and grab a small packet of smelling salts. I take my hands off the wheel, slow my car down to coasting, close my eyes and crack the smelling salt packet in front of my nose. 

My entire brain is filled with the smell of cat piss and my eyes shoot open. I get the car back up to highway speed and see Exit 9. I take my exit home. I’ve got class in the morning. I leave those deep dark woods behind and with them those big staring eyes. I crawl into bed and drift off to sleep. In the distance I hear that long, mournful howl. 

[treadmilltreats]

Act your age

So I hear this all the time, when you get to a certain age you need to act like it. This week was my birthday, and for me, that statement is a big hell no!

I don't feel old. I know what my age is, but I still feel like I did in my 20s or 30s. I am young at heart. I still sing and dance in the gym or in the streets. I still play my music loud in my car and sing to it, let them look at me, who cares.

I am still willing to try new things like zip lining or rock climbing on a date. I refuse to act my age. I'm going to be one of those 80 year olds doing a triathlon or dancing at someone's wedding while all the other old folks are looking at me. I will continue to keep my childlike wonder within me. Look, I jumped out of a plane at 40. I ran my first marathon at 45 and did my first triathlon at 49. I walked on fire when I was 55. It's never too late to experience life or try new things. I have never once said "Oh I'm too old to do that."

Who says what you need to act like at a certain age? I've never cared about what people said or thought. I'm me, and I will continue to do me whether you like it or not. This is my life, not yours. They say when you stop learning, you die. When you say to yourself you're too old to do this, you start to believe it. So, I continue to act young and enjoy my life to the fullest. And yes, call me a Cougar, but I will only date men that make me feel that way or will keep up with me. Trust and believe I will not go quietly. Instead, I will go into my grave screeching… "Oh my God, what a frigging ride that was!"

So today, my friends, don't worry about acting your age, don't worry about what people will say, just keep doing you. Stay young at heart, keep your childlike wonder, and never act your age because age is just a number, and this is your life, so live it large.

"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

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[therubberotter]

The circus is in town! I'm not too into that kind of show, but they don't use animals, and I find this particular one quite cute :)

This week has been too much.

Last weekend I started feeling a bit off, and by Monday I had already developed a full-blown cold. It wouldn't be that bad, but I'm a teacher and I need to use my voice. Also, due to my thyroid operations, one of my main nerved surrounding it became damaged, and one of my vocal chords paralysed.

Now, I'm at severy risk of choking everytime something like this affects my throat. It triggers the damaged nerve and closes my throat almost entirely. And it's happened several times over the week. Some of them in front of my coworkers :/

Also, this was PET scan week, so I had appointments every day of the week. But I managed! Thyrogen really kicked my ass this time, though. By Friday, the combo of thyrogen+cold+mild toothache+waking up very early each and every day+low grade fever got the best of me. I just wanted to curl up and cry.

However, thanks to my dad and mum and their help I pushed through it all. Had the last blood draw, took my tablets, and I felt much better! Then, my dad took me to my old faculty for breakfast. I had a blast exploring the building and calling back old memories. I love that place! Being able to spend some quality time with dad was also lovely. We ate, talked, and listened to some music together in his car. And then he took me to my mental health appointment.

That also went well. The antidepressants are helping a lot, so unless I feel poorly again, I just need to do follow ups with my GP.

BTW, thyrogen was awful, but the nurses were some amazing people. The second day, I just sat there waiting for my shot and nobody called me. When they realised I had been sitting there for a while, we started laughing because they had thought I was a student! I felt flattered, to be honest xD

The PET scan was A experience. Had to be there an hour early so they could give me a special medicine because apparently I'm too small :/ and I spent the whole scan holding back my cough...damn cold again!

But I have survived!! My students have finished all their exams now (though I got MAD at one of the other teachers for messing up my answer sheets and at my students for nor telling me). I gave it all during storytelling on Friday. I'm surprised at myself for finding it so enjoyable! I even kept making funny voice despite my sore throat!

Also, I made some delicious pan pizza on Tuesday, and I've been enjoying the winter sun and looking after our garden. Look at those flowers on our nut tree!

Long and eventful week, indeed! I'll be resting a lot this weekend, see if I can get rid of this cold at once. 🔮

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[digital-corruption]

To Duskwood we go!

Haunted by the Past Part 28

We raided what was left in the cabin. The computer equipment had been hastily taken to salvage what the pursuers could, but the clothes were untouched. We both changed and tossed the clothes we wore that night.

It felt weird to be touching the dead, but Jake had found keys off one of the bodies. He looked up on his phone details on how to disable the GPS and all tracking from the vehicle while I took what was remaining of Jake’s cash and put it into the key return box. I wasn’t allowed to use mine.

We passed the remains of a roadblock on our way down the mountain. A couple of the anarchists waved us through.

Jake drove through what was left of the night and I stayed up with him, not that I could sleep anyway. By the time we reached the outskirts of Duskwood, the sky was lightening. Jake parked us on the side of the road, still unsure whether we should go in.

“Look at it this way, we now have two guns in case he tries to do anything,” I tried reassuring him.

“He's still a psychopath,” he grumbled.

“Here is the last place he expects us to be,” I smiled. “We should go, we still have a chance of catching Phil before he leaves.”

Jake drove us through the sleeping town, which I found incredibly eerie. I had only seen Duskwood through the eyes of my friends. To see it in person was another experience all together. Jake reached Aurora and parked in the lot beside it. There was only one other car.

We got out and walked up with our usual facemasks on. There was still a light on inside, even though the door said closed. I went in first.

“Can't you read?” Phil shouted from the corner, unwilling to be interrupted from his mopping.

“I can actually. I read a text that said I was welcomed here, no questions asked,” I replied.

Phil jumped and turned to look at me. “MC? You look like shit!”

“Well, thanks,” I frowned.

“And you're that guy,” Phil gestured to Jake behind me.

“Jake,” Jake responded unimpressed.

“I've heard that name before. That’s right, the Scooby gang mentioned it a few times,” Phil pretended to be unaware of the fact that Jake’s name has been plastered all over the news, not to mention the wanted poster on the wall.

“Um, so, we need somewhere to lay low for a bit,” I shifted uncomfortably.

“Yes, of course you do. Follow me,” Phil led us to the back and down the stairs to the basement. He opened the heavy door to reveal a large room and turned the light switch on. Half of it was used for storage. The other half had an old queen bed, sofa and TV set up. “It’s not glamorous, but I’ve hidden many a people here.”

“Have you?” Jake questioned, suspicious of Phil.

“People that needed to be hidden. No kidnapped women if that’s what you’re implying,” Phil wasn’t pleased with Jake's suspicion. “There is a shower in the back. The previous owner actually lived out of here for a while. You are welcome to the kitchen and toilets upstairs. I'm afraid it can be noisy at night, but you get what you pay for.”

“No, it's great Phil,” I smiled.

“I only ask for the truth. When you’re ready of course,” Phil looked at me with concern. “There are no windows so when the door is closed, it’s pitch black. Use that to get some sleep, MC. No one will know you’re here.”

“Thank you, Phil,” we watched as he headed back upstairs.

I tossed my bag on the ground beside the wall with my facemask on top as Jake closed and locked the door. I collapsed on the bed with my sneakers still on.

“Hmm, there’s blood on those,” Jake frowned.

He put his bag gently next to mine, then found an old rag and cleaning liquid in the storage. He knelt down on the ground and slipped off my sneakers one at a time. He rubbed away the dried blood from each before placing it aside. When he was done, Jake laid down beside me.

“Is it too hard to ask that we don’t do that again?” I sighed.

“I really don’t plan on it,” Jake turned to face me, resting his head on his hand

“I am torn between wanting to know and not wanting to know what happened while I was in that building,” I admitted.

“It’s better you don’t know,” Jake lifted my hand and kissed my fingers, the very fingers that pulled the trigger. “There’s no benefit to knowing.”

“Do you think he cares we still have his guns?” I smirked.

“Unlikely. The deal was A-hole and his crew get to keep the military grade equipment they found. So honestly, he got the better end of the bargain,” Jake reassured me. “He’s out of our lives now. You never need to mention him again.”

“If only the whole thing could be out of our lives,” I looked at Jake optimistically.

“I don’t think it’ll be done that easily,” Jake got up and went over to turn the light switch off. Phil was right, it was pitch black with the lights off. Jake used his phone to find his way back to the bed. He laid back down and wrapped his arms around me.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” I mumbled as I drifted off.

[lefaystrent]

that one kid!logan ask featuring the teenage sides in their adult bodies. like that anon radiates big brain energy. i'm just imagining Logan tracking one of them down, and their shock that oh he really was as old as he said he was, he wasn't joking. And they break down crying, because nothing makes sense anymore but at least Logan is still Logan, he's still his no nonsense logical self no matter what he looks or sounds like.

Back to the Future

 Fandom: Thomas Sanders,Sanders Sides

 Pairings: platonic LAMP

 Word Count: 3444

Chapter Navigation: part 2

 Masterlist Link

________________________________________________________________

Patton wakes up in a very strangeplace indeed.

Someone shakes him awake. He becomesimmediately aware that he’s sleeping at a desk.

“You’ve got to actually go homesometimes, Patton,” someone chides him lightheartedly.

“Wha-?” Patton breaks off in a yawnand stretches.

His back pops, and the sound seemsto snap him awake. He’s in an unfamiliar office. There are stacks of paperworkand folders and letters, everything kept in an organized disarray. A womanstands next to him, smiling yet slightly worried.

“Got your morning cup of joe,” shesays, sitting a Starbucks cup in front of him.

“Who’s Joe?” Patton says dumbly,still trying to process whether or not this is a dream.

The woman laughs and doesn’t givehim an actual answer. She lets herself out of the office. Patton blinks in thewake of her absence.

That’s when he realizes that beyondthe open doorway, there are more desks with more people. All of them adults andbusy working.

Patton takes his glasses off to rubat his eyes. He’s about to put them back on when he notices something thattwists his stomach.

These aren’t his glasses.

They’re a sleek black, rectangular.Unlike his usual round pair.

He puts them back on slowly.

They’re his prescription.

Confused, Patton looks down athimself.

Why is he wearing a watch? He neverwears a watch. Has he ever owned a watch?

And his clothes. He has poloshirts, but this isn’t one of his. And the pants and shoes. Wait, why is therea cardigan tied around his shoulders?

Patton hurriedly glances around theroom. The desk faces the door. Behind him is a window.

He catches sight of his reflectionin the glass. He looks like a dad. He looks like his dad.

“Holy moly,” Patton whispers,because past his reflection he can see the hustle and bustle of the big city.

They’re like a bajillion floors up.

Unnerved, Patton jumps to his feet.No amount of looking out the window can change what he sees. He attempts tomake sense of the desk he’d been sitting at. He eyes the coffee.

“I don’t like coffee,” he says tohimself, as if that’s the biggest thing wrong with this picture.

“Patton,” someone knocks on thedoor and he jerks his head up. “Meeting. Fifteen minutes.”

Patton stares at the man for longerthan what’s polite. He’s never met this man, but he could easily picture him asone of his dad’s fishing buddies. And yet, he knows Patton’s name.

“Meeting?” he echoes.

The man sighs. “You forgot again,didn’t you? Well, this is why I’m reminding you.” He goes to duck out butremembers something. “Oh, and uh, might wanna spruce up a little bit. Gottastop pulling the all-nighters. That’s my job, ha!”

“Right,” Patton smiles, rushing tofix his mess of hair. He waits for the man to leave before letting his smiledrop.

Just what has he gotten himselfinto?

*

Patton can’t do this.

Before he can try to slip out ofthe offices, the nice lady from before catches up to him. She redirects him tothe place of the meeting the man mentioned before.

“Honestly sir,” she shakes her headin exasperation, as if she’s done this a million times and Patton is just aforgetful puppy.

“Right, just got turned around!” heclaims. She doesn’t even look at him weirdly, just leaves him there by aconference type of room. And then the people inside are already trying to talkto him and he can’t just ignore them, so he goes inside and sits andsmiles and nods and panics on the inside.

The man who told him about themeeting is there. He’s apparently in charge and dives right into things,talking about circulation and how it’s down and they need to get it up, and whatdoes medical stuff have to do with anything?

But that isn’t the case at all. Ifnothing else, Patton is an excellent listener. In this room are journalists andwriters and editors, and this is a newspaper? These people work at a newspaper?They think Patton works at a newspaper?

With sweaty palms, Pattondesperately reaches into his pocket hoping to find his phone. He finds aphone at least. It’s … got to be his if it was in his pocket, right? Justlike with the strange glasses and different clothes. He also finds a wallet hedoesn’t recognize and opens it.

There’s his driver’s license. Thepicture is him, but … weird? Something’s really off about it. And the dates… the issue date is … in the future? And the address? That’s not hisaddress! That’s not even the right city!

“Patton?” someone says and suddenlythe room is staring at him all at once.

Patton tries to speak. He tries to keepingsmiling. He really, really tries.

“I can’t do this,” he gasps out. Hestands abruptly, almost knocking over his chair. Someone or multiple someone’scall after him, but he races out. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He justspeed walks down the halls, avoids eye contact with those he passes, and leapsinto the first elevator he spots.

He smashes the button for theground floor. He’s alone inside and there’s no pretty elevator music, andPatton’s breaths echo off the wall far too loudly.

“What’s going on?” Patton whimpersto no one, doing his best to hold it together. He’s not going to cry. He’s not.He just needs to—to try to call someone. Get back to familiar territory.

He pulls out the cellphone again,hoping that his gut feeling is right. The lock screen lights up, and withoutthinking he uses his regular passcode.

It works.

Patton doesn’t think past hisrelief. He struggles to find a contact’s list.

“C’mon, c’mon,” he whispers.

The doors ding open. There’s a lobbyarea with a couple of secretaries running a front desk. Patton can feel theireyes on him like pins pricking his skin. He smiles, trying not to cringe, andforces himself to leave the elevator and walk out the front doors. Rather thanstray too far, he wanders to the nearby parking lot.

Patton finds his parents’ numberson the list. Neither one of them pick up. He tries to call his older brother.No answer either. He even sees his little brother’s name, but since when didDee have a phone? He was only ten and their parents said he wasn’t allowed toget a cellphone until high school.

He tried anyway. No surprise, hedidn’t pick up.

“Just—somebody please,”Patton begs under his breath.

There are so many names in thecontact’s list, way more than what his usual phone has, and so many names thathe doesn’t know. He scrolls way down to the bottom, trying to find Virgil’sname. Virgil’s name isn’t there. Frustrated, Patton scrolls back to the top,searching for Logan’s name, but he double checks and that isn’t there either!

“I don’t like this, I don’t likethis,” Patton chants. He takes in a huge shaky breath, closing his eyes andcovering his mouth for a minute.

Why weren’t their names there? Whywouldn’t his parents pick up? Why did he wake up in a newspaper office?

“Roman,” Patton says, swallowingdown the lump in his throat. He brings the phone up to search again. “I haven’tchecked his name. There’s still Roman.”

Patton chokes out a relieved laughwhen he finds Roman’s name there. He quickly mashes the call button.

It rings forever and ever. His callis forwarded to voice mail.

“Can’t come to the phone right now,but if you’ll leave a message, my handsome self will get back to you,” the familiarvoice says. The phone beeps, signaling the message is being recorded.

“Ro?” Patton asks, one last sparkof hope that he’ll pick up. That he won’t be so painfully alone.

But no one’s coming to rescue himand get him out of this mess.

“Ro, kiddo … please, pleasecall me, okay? I—I think something’s happened, and it’d sure be great to hearfrom you. Alright kiddo. Love you. Bye-bye.”

He’s on his own.

*

Patton manages to calm down enoughto find his car. He has keys in his pocket, so there’s gotta be a car nearby,right?

He’s right and there it is, asunfamiliar as everything else. The headlights flare, the doors unlock, andPatton stares at the powder blue paint job.

“It’s not stealing if I have thekeys,” Patton firmly tells himself.

He opens the car door and slidesinside. There’s a half drank water bottle in the cupholder. Envelopes addressedto him sit in a small pile in the passenger’s seat. A colorful necklace hangsfrom the rearview mirror, a rainbow charm hanging off of it.

Patton glances at his driver’slicense again, but the information remains unchanged.

“Guess there’s only one way to findout,” he mutters to himself as he pulls up gps on his phone. He types theaddress in and starts the car.

It’s the most stressful drive ofhis life, and yet it passes in a blur. There’s so much traffic, more than he’sever had to drive in before, and someone honks their horn on him when heaccidentally cuts them off.

“Sorry, sorry!” Patton says overand over again. He listens with absolute focus to the directions his phonetells him.

After a frantic twenty minutes andthree wrong turns, Patton makes it to a residential district. It’s a peacefulsuburban neighborhood, not entirely unlike the one he grew up in.

Patton drives slowly and reads themailboxes off as he goes. He finds ‘his’ house.

It’s … nice.

He pulls into the driveway. Theengine quiets as he turns the key.

He could see himself living there.That’s the scariest part.

Patton exits the car. He stares upat the house, the too big, too nice house that can’t be his.

This can’t be real.

“Patton!”

He startles and looks towards theneighbor’s house. There’s a woman, maybe around thirty? She’s taking out thetrash.

“Did you finally get a day off?”she laughs in greeting.

Patton rubs the back of his neckand tries to laugh too. “Oh, you know me.”

Yes he’s aware of how ironic hisstatement is.

He glances quickly at the woman,her yard, anything that might strike a memory. He draws a blank as he stares ata little kid’s bicycle parked by the porch steps.

“Uh, how are the kids?” Patton says.

They talk for far too long. Pattondraws on everything that he’s learned from Roman about acting.

In the back of his head he’sscreaming.

*

Patton sits on his living roomcouch.

It’s got to be his couch. This hasto be his house. All the mismatched furniture has to be his too.

Patton can see himself buying the house,having his friends over to help move in. He can hear Roman and Virgil arguingover Patton’s poor choice in décor, how they would squabble over how todecorate. Logan would be there too, giving his own input and worrying more overfunctionality than aesthetics.

Gosh Patton could really use a friendright now.

Earlier, as he’d snooped around, he’dfound pictures. Lots of pictures. Many of them with him in it. Lots of oneswith his family, with Roman.

There were hardly any with Virgil,and those were pretty much the ones he’d already seen before, the ones he knewhe had. Ones taken from high school with him and Ro.

There’s none at all with Logan.

Patton doesn’t know whether or notthat’s more concerning than the other thing he noticed about the pictures.

Everyone looks kinda … different.

Kinda older. Too old.

He saw a picture of his olderbrother and nearly didn’t recognize him. He saw one where Dee looked all grownup!

Patton stares down at his hands.They’re a little bigger than he remembers. A little rougher.

It’s like he’s woken up in adifferent world.

Maybe if he went to sleep, he’dwake up in the right place again?

Patton falls to the side, sinkinginto the cushions.

He closes his eyes and tries not tothink.

*

Patton wakes up to the sound ofbanging. He wipes at his face, sitting up with a groan.

It’s still daylight, but the sunhas shifted. It’s more afternoon now. The banging is coming from the frontdoor.

Patton’s still in his house that hedoesn’t remember buying.

Hopeless despair grips his hearttight, and he’s too tired to do anything other than accept it.

He rises to his feet. There’s nothingelse he can do. He might as well see who’s at the door.

He opens the front door to find asharply dressed man. He’s wearing a black polo with a blue-striped tie andslacks. His dark hair is a mess, like he’d rushed out the door withoutbothering to comb it down. He’s wearing glasses that look a lot like the ones Pattonwears now. The glasses do nothing to hide the wide brown eyes.

“Patton,” the man says, emphasizingthe name like it should mean something, like he was waiting for Patton toreact.

Patton cocks his head to the side.This is … this is …

“Salutations,” the man says and itall clicks into place.

“Logan?” Patton breathes out.

Logan sighs heavily, leaning intothe doorframe with slumped shoulders.

“It appears that we are in a complicatedsituation,” his friend says in a timbre far deeper than the little kid he onceknew.

Patton stops hesitating. He surgesforward and throws his arms around Logan.

“I was so scared,” Pattonsays, and he’s gone straight into crying. All of those built-up emotions areoverflowing now. “Logan, I—I woke up and there was—I wasn’t home, and therewere people, and they knew me but I didn’t know them. And I panicked andran away and—my driver’s license is weird! It said my address was here so I cameto check it out because nobody was picking up—I tried to call, nobody wouldpick up. Nobody would—”

“Patton, it is okay,” Logan reassureshim.

Patton can feel Logan’s armswrapped around him, a comforting hand resting on the back of his head to groundhim. It occurs to him that Logan must be an inch or two taller now.

“It’s okay,” he says again. “I’mhere now, and we will figure this out together.”

“Logan … what’s going on?” Pattonsniffs, his eyes burning and wet.

“… it appears that we are in thefuture.”

“Oh …” Patton says because that’sall he can say. “Oh … okay.”

He hugs Logan tighter.

*

“But how would this even happen?”Patton asks. He’s back to sitting in the living room. Logan’s pacing back andforth in front of him and it’s kind of distracting in a sense that Patton ismesmerized at seeing how much Logan has grown up. He’d always acted too maturefor his age, and now he looks it too!

Logan doesn’t break stride as heanswers, “You woke up like this, correct? There weren’t any inklings of the . .. ‘process’ that must have brought us here?”

“No—I mean, yes I woke up andsuddenly everything was different, but I don’t remember anything weird thathappened before that.”

“What do you remember beforethat?”

“I—” Patton goes to answer but he findshe can’t say for sure. “I … might have went to bed?”

“Might?”

“I don’t really remember.”

“You don’t remember what happenedyesterday.”

“Not really. I’m—I’m not sure whatI remember last actually. Logan, what does that mean? Did I hit my head?”

“If that’s the case, then I musthave hit mine as well.” Logan stops pacing and shakes his head to dismiss theidea. “No, I hypothesize that this is merely a side-affect to time travel.”

“Time travel … We really timetraveled.” Patton might still be struggling to process this.

“It would seem so,” Logan answers. “Idon’t have enough evidence to deduce our situation accurately, but from what I’vegathered I am not entirely sure that time traveling in one’s own body ispossible. Instead, our consciousness is what has traveled and arrived in ourself of the time we’ve landed in.”

“What?”

“What I’m saying is that it mightbe impossible to travel to the future and meet your future self. There is onlyone you at any given time, so instead your consciousness travels to the you ofthat time, possessing them as it were. That’s why we appear older in a future settingwithout any memory of the years in between.”

“That’s … a lot to take in.”

“Indeed.”

Patton’s back to staring at his hands.He feels the couch dip beside him, Logan sitting down.

“… you’re acting reallylevel-headed about this,” Patton observes.

“I suppose I am adept at compartmentalizing.”

“… Logan? Are you really fromthe future?”

And there it is. One of the theoriesthat he and Virgil and Roman had jokingly thought about Logan. Their strange littlegenius friend, too mature unlike any kid should be.

Somehow it all makes sense now.

“I think you already know theanswer, Patton,” Logan says, not hiding behind anything.

Patton looks at him. Really looksat him. The face might have changed a lot, but those guileless blue eyes arethe same as always.

“Is this what happened to you?”Patton asks. And oh, he can imagine it. Logan waking up as a little kid, scaredand confused and trying to make the most of it.

“Yes. I woke up much like this. Inever could remember exactly what happened to me previously. Time travel seemsto affect memory.”

“But why us? What did we do?”

“That I have no answer for. But asit started with me, I can only apologize if my presence in your life caused youto get caught up in this.”

“No, no kid—I mean, Logan. This isn’tyour fault. How can it be when you don’t even remember?”

“The fact that I can’t rememberdoes not absolve me. I could possibly have instigated this and simply bear nomemory of the fact.”

“But I know you wouldn’t doanything to hurt or scare me or anyone else.”

“There are too many variables,”Logan responds, a non-answer.

Patton reaches over to place a handon his forearm. He squeezed. “Logan, I trust you. We’ll figure this puzzle out,together.”

“Together …” Logan repeats in amumble. “If you’re here like this, it’s possible that we are not the only ones.”

Patton gasps, patting urgently atLogan’s arm. “I tried to call my family but they wouldn’t pick up. And then Icalled Roman, but he wasn’t there—but Logan! I don’t have Virgil’s number forsome reason. Or yours!”

“You don’t?”

“No! And come look at this!”

Patton drags him from the couch.They go look at the pictures on the wall.

Patton doesn’t need to tell Loganwhat’s wrong with them.

“Virgil doesn’t appear much at all,if in any, after high school. I myself am entirely absent from these.”

“And that doesn’t sound like me atall.” Patton frowns. “I love taking pictures with people. I should have a bunchof all of my best friends.”

“Unless we’re not your friends.”

Patton stares at him, notcomprehending. For once Logan understands the shift of his mood. He lays a handon Patton’s shoulder.

“Much can happen over the years.People lose touch all the time, especially after the high school years.”

Patton shakes his head slowly indisbelief. “But—but I wouldn’t! Not with Virgil or you!”

“Yes, maybe with Virgil. If he’snot here in your pictures and you don’t have his number, then it is extremelylikely that you do not communicate seldomly if at all. As for me, I thinksomething different has occurred.”

Tears gather in Patton’s eyes. Hegrabs onto Logan’s wrist. “What do you mean? That we’re not friends in thefuture?”

“Not just that we aren’t friends,”Logan answers. “In this timeline, I don’t think we met at all.”

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[danaan13]

I regretted answering my phone.

Though, to be quite frank, I usually regret answering my phone. But normally it's robo voice with Shatner level dialogue pacing, telling me they're the IRS and I need to pay them a money order, or I'll go to jail. Or that my apple computer warranty, or car warranty, are running out and I need to renew. Funny thing about those is, I know I paid my taxes on time. I spent the refund check months ago. And I don't have an apple computer. And my car was too old to put a warranty on. The refund check wasn't big enough for either. (I got chicken nuggets, if you want to know.)

Regardless, this was a new one. And it didn't sound like robo-Shatner. And while I've been mistakenly called many names not my own, Thomas was a new one for me. I mean... my name's Shelly to my coworkers, Shel to my friends, and Sheila to my regional manager.

Still, I rather doubt Thomas' family deserved whatever was about to happen to them. So I grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and said, "Alright. What do you want?"

The voice on the other side hesitated. I didn't sound like a Thomas. If one took the generic assumption, that is. Even so, the guy rattled off an ungodly amount of money and a demand that no law enforcement be involved. He then gave me a drop point and a time. And then he hung up.

I looked at the information I had and just sighed. Well, I sure wasn't calling the police. Last time they pulled out the swat gear, they shot up a jewelry store at a mall and 'accidentally' hit the man playing Santa for the kids. Among a few other things that made the whole fiasco reek of discriminatory judgement. So, that was out.

Then I noticed the drop point was right next to the bank that my job kept its accounts at. Welp, I wanted to quit my current job anyway. I did a little thinking and a little planning, before deciding it was worth a shot. And with that done, it was time for work. So I got up and grabbed my work apron and went to my shift.

Lucky me, my manager was lazy enough to give me the deposit bag, for the money going to the bank that night. I had also stolen his work keys from his suitcase before he left. I unlocked the deposit bag and dumped the money into an old ratty backpack. I shoved the deposit bag and its little gps tag underneath the money and shuffled it all around till it looked like just a messy pile of money.

One short drive later and I was near the bank. I dropped the backpack in the spot and went back to my car. I watched a couple guys dart across the parking lot, acting like they thought they were being sneaky. They looked in the backpack and then took it, darting back the way they came into an alley.

Then two more people are shoved out of the alley. A middle aged woman in Louboutin heels and a boy in uniform for a pricey private middle school across town. I quietly turned on the car and rolled down the window. I waved at them and the two dashed for my car like they were running from the monster of the week.

I unlocked the doors once they get to me and they both jumped in. The woman blinked once and then squeaked out, "You're not my Thomas!"

I shrugged tiredly. It had been a long shift today. "I'm not anyone's Thomas. I'm Shelly. And your kidnappers dialed the wrong number. Anyway. I'm gonna take us to the police. Hopefully those guys won't find my job's deposit bag before the police can track the gps thingy."

I put my car in gear and headed out. I could see the woman staring at me in just absolutely dazed shock. Her kid finally piped up then, "Does your boss know you used the deposit bag for this?"

I grinned a little. "Nope. Or the money either."

The woman frowned in distinct disapproval. "That's theft!"

I kept grinning. "Grand theft, actually. But it felt like small beans compared to threatening bodily harm to someone's family. Besides, it got you out, didn't it?"

The woman fell silent at this and didn't argue. I could tell she was uncomfortable with it. Her son, on the other hand, was bouncing in the back seat like he'd just met a superhero. And given the Deadpool and Venom pins on the straps of his backpack, I imagine he was in the middle of an antihero phase anyway. I made his day, I guess.

By the time I reached the police station, my anxiety was back. I walked inside with the lady and her son, letting them tell their story, before giving mine. It took the police officer at the desk a good twenty seconds to realize I was being honest and they did technically have to arrest me.

I expected to spend the night there, figuring they'd transfer me somewhere more long term, till my trial. But another officer came and let me out, saying that a lawyer for Thomas had arrived with paperwork from a judge to let me out on bail.

I was taken to the lawyer who shook my hand and gave me a business card with a time and date on it. "This is your appointment with me, to set up the defense for your trial. Given matters here, declaring innocence won't work. But I'm certain we can mitigate your sentence."

I just kind of nod for a moment and then said, "I can't afford you. I technically can't afford what I just did."

The lawyer smiled. "No. But Thomas can. And well... his son was absolutely insistent that we help you."

I smiled a little. Or I tried to. I was very tired. "I guess, umm... thanks then?"

The lawyer smiled and then insisted on driving me home and having his assistant drive my car for me. I suppose I did look like a cheap one dollar burrito after the microwave.

The next several months were odd for me. I was officially fired for stealing. No surprise. The kidnappers were in fact caught, having not found the deposit bag's gps. That was a little surprising at least. The money was entirely accounted for. Even more surprising.

I was deemed guilty of grand theft, but given grace for my altruism and sentenced to probation and community service. For not reporting this to the police. I smiled and thanked the judge and the jury for their hard work. And kept my thoughts to myself, about the wisdom of police involvement.

Thomas and his family got me a new job, working for the company he owned. Though, he did make me sign a contract promising I wouldn't steal money to ransom people with. I signed it. After all, what was the likelihood of kidnappers calling the wrong number a second time?

You answer your cellphone and hear a mysterious voice say, “Thomas, we have taken your wife and son hostage. Do exactly as we say and they will be released.” Only one problem: your name isn’t Thomas…

[jxwritesss]

I’m currently writing this on wattpad as well! @jxwritess

This is a Noen Eubanks fan fiction, I’m trying to spread my book around, pls share and help, it means a lot xx, my main platform is wattpad please read it on there if you find this and enjoy it!

New York. The only place in the entire world, where robots were being developed. Robots, that looked exactly like humans, and there being only one distinctive difference, a tattoo. One that said RA-H.

An RA-H. Robotic animated humans. These androids are helping the world as much as it is destroying it. They force people out of jobs, but in doing so create even better things then humans. Thousands of different political views, millions of haters and lovers. And then there's me.

Malia Blanche, 17, I lost my father, and I was the spitting image of my late mother. I only recently moved to LA, where my life was bombarded with these new androids, I get the concept of them, although I don't truly understand it.

Well, on with the story shall we?

-Chapter One.

Sunday, the day before I start college. A new life, a new story and a new beginning. I can finally pursue my dream of being a writer, just like my mother.

My mother attended John Brown college academy  , her department was romance, mine, mystery, ever since I was a child I thrive for solving mysteries, actions, you know in the movies where there's a fight scene, and it goes slow motion and they throw the punch of victory, thats what ignites my fire, the thrive for doing good, but in a dangerous way, I could always figure out who was lying in a movie, or who the murderer was. Maybe I should be a detective, but my flow comes with writing.

Although I was attending my new school in a day, I lazily decided to stay in bed until half 10, I needed to be at Realsons&Co for 11:15, to get my uniform fitted. John Brown is a very pretentious academy, and I'd worked three jobs, and poured my heart and soul into getting here. Only the best attend the Academy. I don't necessarily fit into the 'my daddy got me in here' well, obviously. I quickly slipped on my jeans and jumper, and slid into my most prised possession. Although it had been pre-owned. The Audi was my mother's, she put her heart and soul into the car, and I will respect her decision and keep the car.

I take out my GPS although I already know where my fitting shop is, as I pass it a few times on the way to my grandma's.

Carefully parking in the visitor section I leave my car, and walk up the steps, and enter the shop, the bell above my head dings and an elderly woman pops her head up and immediately smiles at me. 

"Are you Malia?" The woman asks putting her newspaper down and picking up a signing book.

"Yeah, I'm not too early am I?"

"Of course not, dear.  I'm Molly, my grandson Will, he's in the back, he will measure you up if you need anything readjusting or if you can't find anything your size. John Brown, Deanford and Attenwood are in the back left." She says pointing in the direction.

I thank her, and mentally thank that the place is practically empty. I don't like small talk, thanks social anxiety.

Walking through the back I spot John Brown uniform. A black blazer with red linings, a short black skirt and a white blouse and a dark red tie. Not too childish but not suitable enough for adults.

At the corner of my eye I see a tall boy sat on his phone, his eyes flicker up for a second at me, then back down to his phone.

I continue my search to look for the right size for my uniform when I feel a pair of eyes on me, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I start to guess that the pair of eyes is Molly's grandson Will, I mentally scold myself for being so awkward and pretending not to know that he's watching, when I hear his chair scrape my heart decides to do an athlete course and I pray he can't hear it from where he's standing.

I can tell he's now behind me, as I face my social fears I turn around and slam right into his chest, and in result dropping all my stuff, Will snorts, before helping me by picking up some of the clothes that dropped.

"Thanks," I say, grabbing the clothes from his hand and attempting to walk past him, but his arms stop me.

"Was that sarcastic or not?" He asked smiling. I take a second to take in his looks, he doesn't look as bad as I thought he would, but he doesn't act like a arrogant guy either.

"I'll let you figure that one out," I smile politely back, "I'm Will." He says moving his arm in a posh manner to let me through.

"I know, Molly told me," I answer, "I guess you know who I am?" "Yep, how could I ignore a pretty girl like you?" I mentally roll my eyes at the typical boy. "Mhm, well I need to get changed so excuse me" I say speed walking away from him, boys that make comments like that make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

As I turn the corner to the fitting rooms, I hear Will's voice once again, "I'm gay by the way," he says laughing, I stop in my tracks, suddenly feeling a bit stupid.

——

Checking that I haven't left any clothes behind, I pile them onto the counter, where Will is now standing, he starts to put all my clothes in an expensive looking plastic bag, he looks up at me, "Sorry about earlier, I was just messing about." "No, it's okay, I felt a bit silly when you said you were gay."

He shakes his head and laughs, "most people do, well the ones that aren't stuck up with money up their ass usually do." "Well I'm only here on a scholarship, so I'm not one of them people," I say handing him over the small fee I have to pay, as the scholarship covers most of it. "Surprisingly so am I, I got accepted for Athletics at John Brown," I never really though I would but I guess I should thank the Lord, my parents can't wait to get rid of me anyways, being gay has a price to pay, apparently."

"Well, they obviously don't see the good person that you are." I smile at him, although I wish he hadn't of brought it up, I'm not necessarily the best at giving advice.

The bell rings, and a tall, slim girl walks through.

"Tanner" she says walking through right into the back without a second glance.

"I understand what you mean by stuck up," I whisper, Will chuckles and passes me my bag, the girl walks back and stands behind me, not even two seconds later she starts tapping her foot and complaining.

"Since when do we serve nobodies, Will? That's right we don't. Now move, thanks." She says pushing right past me and throwing her uniform on the counter. Luckily it wasn't a John Brown one, otherwise I might've just about died.

I quietly wave at Will and walk out, seeing a shining white Porsche outside. Seriously where do you even get one that looks so shiny from?

I put the bag in the passenger seat, still feeling annoyed about the girl, as I reach my small flat,   I lock my Audi, and read a movie poster about a girl going missing  with her extremely ill dad. Making a mental note to watch the movie later, I walk up my stairs and unlock my door, I make myself a cup of tea and order some pizza, as I walk into my room, I open up my laptop, and have three new emails, one spam, but two from publishers. My heart does leaps as I open the first one.

'Telford Publishing'

- Hello Malia, we are proud to hear that you are following in your beloved mothers steps. I have read your book sample, but I would like to offer you a potential job, and a tour around  the new              T Pub&Co. I know how much it would mean to your mother if you accept my offer.

Many thanks, Gary.

A potential job?? Could this be my genuine big break?  Hearing a knock at the door, I run over, wanting to start up a reply as soon as possible. Grabbing my purse I open my door to an RA-H

"Malia Blanche?"

"Yes, here's my ID." The robots light turns red as it examines my ID. Doing a robotical smile it's arm stretches out, grabbing the pizza I express a thank you and run back to my desk.

'T Pub&Co.'

Thank you for my sample! I will gladly accept your offer, please email with more detail about the tour and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. My mum would be so happy.

Sincerely, Malia.

As I send the email I let out a squeak of happiness with pizza in my mouth. Clicking onto my word pad, I let myself fall into the world of fiction, and let time slip through my hands.

——

And that's how it is now 3.36am on a Monday trying to start a new story, anything to take my mind off the upcoming day, and the extremely embarrassing 'Tanner' fiasco.

I push my chair back from my old, ridden desk, and flop onto my bed, snuggling into my bedsheets, this has been going on for a week, for some reason I have no flow, the biggest writers block, I have stories everywhere across my room, started, just the plot, a thesis, a blurb. But recently I haven't found anything to give me that push. I turn and toss in an unsucsessive attempt to sleep, and as I check my phone it is only 4 am.

Great, no sleep for the wicked.

——

Groggily, I turn over in my bed and look over to my clock, 6.07am. Throwing my bed covers over, I lazily get up and put on the uniform that luckily fits perfectly. Thinking about my email yesterday, there is nothing more that I want in the world then my writing to become known. Realising that I spend too much time daydreaming, and badly making pancakes, i'm late and have no time to see if I have a reply. Already. Typical Me.

Rushing out of my door, checking the contents of my bag to make sure that I have everything that I need I speed walk right into someone walking up my door, crashing everything they were holding onto the floor.

"God I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, wasnt looking where I was going." I look up and realise that, I wasn't even speaking to a human, but none other then an Android. It simply says, "No worries miss," and continues with its day. Those androids are the ones that Robert Morett himself created, word is that his son is attending John Brown. Although i'm here with a writing scholarship, I doubt he'd need any type of acceptance letter. He could just ask, he is one of the most richest people in America.

Pulling my keys out of my bag I speed walk towards my car, carefully throwing my bag in, and starting the Audi, before starting my drive I pull out my phone to the Maps app, although I used to drive past John Brown to get to school I still want to be prepared.

—

Pulling up at the academy, I notice a few eyes staring at the jet black Audi with the tinted windows, they're probably expected a drop dead gorgeous girl, or the sexiest guy

to walk out, but in all honesty I'm neither.

Turning off my car and stepping out the eyes are suddenly averted to another jet black car, most likely a gorgeous boy or girl in it.

My mind wavered at wondering whether I should stay and stare at the person in black, or be late to my lecture.

Achieving my dream comes first.

I promised my mother that I'd focus on my work, and not get distracted. I intend on keeping that promise.

[teoryangmalenismo]

Bay Area

So, how do I gonna start this blog? ...

So this one was taken at Oracle Arena last Tuesday, March 5, 2019. Why would I start with this? Because this photo had the 3 checks on my bucketlist!

Solo travel ✔️

Watch NBA Live ✔️

See Steph in person ✔️

I literally had no plan of doing this a year before because I am a complete coward! Lol. Seriously! I love America but to travel solo? Nah! Must be because of some hollywood movies.

So the plan began when I realized that this was the last season that Warriors are playing at Oracle. It was always my dream to watch an NBA game live but never came to fruition because I never liked a player as much as I like Steph- well loved to be exact. So I bought the ticket last September, I know it was too pricey and the fact that I don't even have a visa yet I still took the risk.

So fast forward to March 4, I arrived at SFO at 7pm. Without knowing anyone I pretend like a local. But deep inside *shit where I should go? Lol. I took an uber on my way to Oakland. My uber driver was so nice to the extent that he warned me about Oakland like "hey?? What do you suppose me to do after learning about that. Lol", I asked him why were the streets so quiet and it was only 8pm. He just told me "because it's Oakland", Okay I'm scared. Haha. He's really nice and waited til I go inside the hotel. (5 star!!)

March 5, 2019 GAME DAY!!!

My plan was to go to Battery Spencer and watch sunrise over the Golden Gate Bridge but it was raining hard so I just start my day at 7am. And I need to catch my ferry to Alcatraz at 10am. I thank God for the nicest possible weather. I saw the iconic bridge. It was old but mesmerizing. I'm finally looking at it, not in the movies. But with my own eyes.

5pm. I went to Oracle for shootaround. The gates will open at 6pm. Yes, I waited an hour outside with 8degree weather plus rain and blowing winds, well that's nothing compared to Canada but damn! THAT WAS ICE COLD ONE HOUR! 😂

6pm. Here we go. I entered the loud arena! Section 10! My heart is pumping like it will gonna blast any second. Walking down the stairs. I saw Steph, I saw WARDELL STEPHEN CURRY!!! I'm freakin out! I can't move. I think I'm gonna cry. I'm crying!!! I'm so full that time. I can't imagine myself in that situation and now I'm here watching greatness, LOL. I can't even took my phone out that often because I just wanna look at him every minute. It's surreal people! IT IS!!! They unfortunately lost the game but I can't feel any disappointment. Steph played well. I'm happy. I don't wanna leave the arena. I wanna live there! Work as a staff I don't care I wanna stay there. Lol. But it's time to go home.

March 6. Time to explore SanFo. I went to Palace of fine arts. It was raining haaard! So I've got plenty of time taking pictures.

This is Painted Ladies. If you know Full House you'll gonna know these iconic houses. Well apparently I think everywhere in SanFo was iconic.

Union Square. This was like the center of Sanfo. By the way, i took the bus going here! I'm so proud of myself. If you don't know I have this fright over buses especially when it's always my first time on a place. I feel so brave. While wandering the center of Sanfo I feel like I can go anywhere in the world- exaggeration alert. But seriously I am so proud of myself. 🤣

They called this "The crookedest street in the world!", Lombard Street. I took the iconic-must-ride-cable car going here. Feels like 70s!

Fisherman's Wharf. Where the fun happens.

Last stop was Ghirardelli Square. They said that desserts here was a must. Then there goes the line. Nah! I'll be back next time Sanfo. I ended up just buying chocolates. 😂

Time to go home. Pack up!

March 7, back at GP.

Lots of them are asking. Why you're alone? Are you sure you're doing it? Well at first it was damn scary! But as you became familiar with the place, you became comfortable. You should see the positive side of the place and ignore the negatives. Feel free. Explore. Once in your life you should try to travel alone. Atleast once. Yes, maybe it was more fun going with friends or family but I'm telling y'all! It was all worth it! Worth the fear. Worth the risks and doubts. After doing it you'll gonna be proud of yourself and you'll gonna feel you're the bravest person on earth.

“Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway. -Neil Gaiman"

PS for those who are asking who took my photos. It was a mix of walls, tables, selfie stick and nice locals and tourists. 😂

[afternoonspeaker-2021-1]

Twist 那個油罐車竟然是實景拍攝

電影

Crew Stories 昨天上��11:41 ·

On this day in 1996 Twister was released "That's no moon, it's a space station!" Tom Hanks was the original choice for the role of Bill Harding. Hanks read lines with the cast and even chose the character's wardrobe, which stayed in the final film, before dropping out. Kurt Russell and Michael Keaton were other possible considerations. Bill Paxton was chosen due to his "southern everyman charm" on a recommendation from director James Cameron. Another James Cameron connection is the name on the tanker truck that pushes Bill's pickup off of the tree is "Benthic Petroleum" which is the same oil company that Ed Harris' crew works for in The Abyss (1989). The base camp (where the crew trucks and equipment are staged) for the end sequence was at a pig farm down the road from the well-house. Every morning the cast and crew were greeted by the smell of a 2-acre pig-waste holding pond in the middle of all the trucks. 2nd AD Richard Oswald shared with us that the legendary Newt Arnold, was the 1st AD would do a loud Tarzan howl when camera was ready! During the hot summer shoot the crew went thru tons of Gold Bond for their “nether region” during dustings at lunch. Crew stories member Jeff Machit shared this anecdote about his experience on the film, my favorite Twister moment. “We’re working in the middle of tornado alley during the middle of tornado season. Many of the crew were concerned about what to do if we were threatened by a real twister. Production brought in the local TV weather man to reassure us. He told us not to worry as we have an on site Doppler radar. The radar would give us a 15 minute warning. He also reassured us that there were two helicopters standing by to evacuate all the above-the-line personnel. The rest of crew should find a ditch to jump into.” Some crew members, feeling that De Bont was "out of control", left the production five weeks into filming. The camera crew led by cinematographer Don Burgess ASC claimed De Bont "didn't know what he wanted till he saw it. He would shoot one direction, with all the equipment behind the view of the camera, and then he'd want to shoot in the other direction right away and we'd have to move [everything] and he'd get angry that we took too long ... and it was always everybody else's fault, never his". De Bont claims that they had to schedule at least three scenes every day because the weather changed so often, and "Don had trouble adjusting to that". When De Bont threw down a camera assistant in a fit of rage, Burgess and his crew had enough and walked off the set, much to the shock of the cast. I just talked to the AC now a operator and he shared this with us. “Looking back on it, I wish I had the self confidence and awareness to make an official complaint to the studio. But I was 32 years old with two young kids and I was afraid it would affect my ability to find work. Obviously, those were different times.” The camera grip and electric crew remained in place for one more week until cinematographer Jack N. Green's crew agreed to replace them. Unfortunately with just two days left of principal photography Jack Green was injured on stage, a warehouse. The set was built so the second floor would drop. It was very hot and there was air conditioning that was very loud. A test of the floor dropping was going to be done. The 1st AD called it out. Jack was underneath and because of the air conditioning didn’t hear the warning. Jack was instructing lamp operator Matt Hawkins to adjust a light and in doing so moved him out of harms way. Unfortunately for Jack the dropping floor hit him injuring his back. Jack spent some time in the hospital. Jan De Bont took over cinematography duties for the remainder of the shoot. Halfway through filming, both Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt were temporarily blinded by bright electronic lamps used to make the sky behind the two actors look dark and stormy. Paxton remembers that "these things literally sunburned our eyeballs. I got back to my room, I couldn't see". To solve the problem, a Plexiglas filter was placed in front of the

beams. The actors took eye drops and wore special glasses for a few days to recuperate. After filming in a particularly unsanitary ditch (for the first tornado chase scene, in which Bill and Jo are forced to shelter from an approaching F1 tornado under a short bridge), Hunt and Paxton needed hepatitis shots. During the same sequence, Hunt repeatedly hit her head on a low wooden bridge, so exhausted from the demanding shoot that she stood up so quickly her head struck a beam. During one stunt in which Hunt opened the door of a vehicle speeding through a cornfield, she momentarily let go of the door and it struck her on the side of the head. Some sources claim she received a concussion in the incident. De Bont said, "I love Helen to death, but you know, she can be also a little bit clumsy. " She responded, "Clumsy? The guy burned my retinas, but I'm clumsy ... I thought I was a good sport. I don't know ultimately if Jan chalks me up as that or not, but one would hope so". To simulate the high speed winds that occurs during a tornado and Ritter fans weren’t enough special effects Legend John Frazier and his effects crew (the real heroes of this production) procured some jet engines from a Boeing 707 and mounted them to flatbed trailer! This crew pulled off some pretty epic stuff on this one from dropping tractors from cranes and helicopters to driving a truck thru the facade of a tumbling house! The instrument package used in the movie, "Dorothy", is an homage to the instrument pack real tornado researchers attempt to place in the paths of tornadoes, "T.O.T.O.". Lois Smith's character is reading Dante Alighieri's Inferno when the twister hits Wakita. The book also features a tornado in the second circle of Hell that punishes people ruled by Lust. After the team leaves Wakita, there is a seemingly impossible helicopter shot in which the camera descends several hundred feet in a matter of seconds, ending up mere feet from Jonas's convoy. This was achieved by having the cars drive slower than usual and then speeding up the film. A recording of a camel's moan was slowed down and used as the sound of the tornado. Although Amblin Entertainment has collaborated with both Warner Bros. and Universal on many occasions (Amblin co-founder Steven Spielberg directed films for both studios), as of 2014, this film marks the only time Amblin collaborated with both studios on the same film. The real town of Wakita, Oklahoma had part of its old downtown area demolished by the film crew for the scenes after the twister passes. The studio then paid for the downtown to be rebuilt. The town also kept the new fire truck used in the film De Bont insisted on using multiple cameras, which led to the exposure of 1,300,000 feet (400,000 m) of film, compared to the usual maximum of 300,000 feet (91,000 m). The 35mm short ends were used to shoot Jon Favreau’s SWINGERS. pre production in Oklahoma was briefly delayed due to the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995. Many of the crew went to the site to help with recovery efforts. This was the first movie released on DVD, and the last released on HD-DVD. After Bill Paxton died, Spotter Network choreographed 200 storm chasers to spell out "BP" with their GPS tracker blips on a radar display to honor him. This kind of tribute had only been done five times before, and it was the first time it had been done for someone who wasn't a storm chaser. (IMDb/Wikipedia/crew stories) some photos from Sound utility and crew stories member Robert K. Maxfield and Paxtonmobile by Mel Roswell,excerpts from a previous post from Matt Hawkins, Jim Plannette, Richard Oswald If you recognize any crew members comment so we may update. A special Thank you to every crew member that endured this production, you were deep in the suck and it was worth it! These kinds of popcorn movies inspired many of us to pursue a career in the filmmaking process.

[treadmilltreats]

A sigh of relief that the holidays are over

So I always write about how it's the way you look at things, there are two ways to look at things. One is poor me and the other is to look for the lessons, learn them and move on.

As bad as this year has been for me besides not being able to be with all of my family and friends and losing more than half my income, trust me, it was worse two years ago.

I know that over and over this year so many people I've talked to have said it's been a really rough year, a year like no one has seen before. No one seemed to be in the holiday spirit.

I myself know that this is a fact as this has been a hell of a year for me as well but again I realize that it could have been worse, it could have been two years ago.

So what happened two years ago? Well, I lost four people in my life, back to back. It was also one of the hardest financially for me in years. I had issues with my kids, with my so-called friends and I battled with depression.

That was the hardest thing for me as I am never depressed. I am one of the most positive people you will ever meet, but that year, threw me for a loop.

It started off with issues with my daughter, and making the decision to throw her out. It went on to losing one of my biggest clients, mishaps with my car and electronics and just shit coming at me in all directions, all year long.

I have to be honest the holidays came too fast, I was just not ready nor did I feel festive or in the holiday mood.

When my girls told me that they were going to Europe over Thanksgiving, that threw me right over the edge.

I didn't even do my annual open house for people that had nowhere to go, I honestly just didn't have it in me.

By the time Christmas rolled around I have to tell you it was no better. And when my girls told me that they were spending Christmas Eve with their Jewish father, well that about did it for me. Whatever little festive I had in me went straight out the window.

All of this holiday stuff came in the middle of a break up with a man I truly was in love with but realized that this wasn't going anywhere because he wanted kids and I don't.

I have to tell you, if it wasn't for the people that I knew didn't have family to be for the holiday,  I would have pulled the plug on it all.

But as that old Showbiz saying goes "The Show Must Go On" so I pulled it together and made a holiday dinner special for those who would have had none otherwise. See things could always be worse and it was for me that year.

Sometimes as bad as you're hurting, you need to put that aside and put others needs in front of your own needs. As my pastor says all the time, you need to be a blessing to others and so I try to do that.

Now I am not complaining, don't get it twisted as I know I am blessed beyond belief but sometimes.... sometimes I would like to catch a break, so for me to complain about not being able to go out or a loss of income would be ungrateful, besides from the fact that this year has nothing on two years ago for me. Don't get me wrong I know people are dying, our country is in a crisis and it's hard for many people, I am just saying that we have all been through harder times or maybe this is your hardest, whatever the case may be, I'm here to tell you it will pass, the sun will shine again for all of us.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for, I am grateful for my girls, for my friends, who are the family I choose for myself. I know God has and will continue to take care of me and I know as my mom used to say all the time, "This too shall pass" and so I hold on to that tiny bit of faith and hope to get me through this year and past years.

So today my friends, I am telling you this to let you know it can always get worse, but to also say this too will pass. Whatever you are going through now will be a distant memory a year from now and we will all breathe a sigh of relief knowing we made it through the holidays and the bad times. Everytime hard times come at me I think of all the hard times I have already faced and it gives me the strength to go on.

And look, the new year is right around the corner with better days to come, we have to hold on and be grateful we got through the holidays.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Thank you all for following me, cheering me on and always being there for me, I so appreciate each and everyone of you. God bless.

**I know this is a touch of year so I will be putting this number out there for all that needs it...I been there and I know how dark it may seem especially during the Holiday season, there is help, it will get better...I am living proof of

"This too shall pass"**

Please get help, call today:

National Suicide Hotline: 24/7

1-800-273-8255

Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

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[mylifeasavetstudent]

I just finished my first year of undergrad, and while I've shadowed at a vet clinic before, I'm about to start a job as a veterinary assistant. While I'm super excited, I'm also extremely nervous. Any advice for starting a first job at a vet clinic?

Ooh fun question! Congrats on finishing your first year and getting your first job as a vet assistant!

I volunteered/shadowed on and off from when I was 12-18, then got my first job as a part-time assistant at a general practice when I was 18-22, and now I’ve been working full-time as an assistant at an emergency hospital for the past year.

So much comes to mind, so this may be pretty long.

———-

-Be willing to learn! Accept that there is a lot you don’t know, and always be willing to listen and learn from more experienced people.

-Don’t be afraid to ask the doctors questions about cases. Most are more than willing to answer and explain. (Everyone there who is more experienced has been where you are now one day in their life - when you become an experienced person, remember what it was like to be a nervous, new assistant.)

-Don’t be afraid to ask the other assistants/techs for help. If you don’t know how to do something, it’s a million times better to ask than to guess and do something incorrectly. (Same goes for clarifying what you’re ALLOWED to do.)

-On the same note, if you don’t know how to do something, but want to learn, say so, or the experienced assistant/tech may just do it FOR you.

-Restraint. Start with the nice ones! If you’re not comfortable restraining an aggressive animal - SAY SO. Don’t be afraid to use muzzles, e-collars, comforters for big dogs or cat-muzzles, e-collars, towels for cats - they don’t hurt the animal and they help keep everyone safe. Despite what the owner believes, the dog CAN breathe through the muzzle (be careful with muzzles and vomiting patients though). Sometimes you can even distract patients with food (make sure they’re not on a special diet or NPO or anything). You can also pet their heads (if they’re not aggressive, just squirmy) or tap their heads gently with a pen (if they are aggressive) to distract them. If an animal is really stressing themselves out or has a high possibility of hurting you or someone else - tell the doctor. Medical restraint (drugs) is great! There are so many different ways to restrain animals of different sizes and temperaments for different procedures, that I don’t even know where to start. You’ll learn over time! Always be cautious. Even the nicest animals will bite when scared or in pain. Watch out for teeth and claws, but also those sneaky back feet and headbutts.

-Bring a notebook! Write down any questions you have (if it’s too busy to ask them) - you can look them up yourself, or ask them later. Write down things you learn, write down instructions on how to do something new, etc. (I actually looked back at my notebook from a year ago and had some fun reading my old questions).

-Bring snacks/drinks. My GP (general practice) shifts were 12 hours, my ECC (emergency and critical care) shifts are 11 hours. It’s a long day!

-Wear good shoes. When I started working, I wore converse sneakers and my god did my ankles hurt. It’s constant standing and walking - buy good walking sneakers!

-Everyone has their own way of doing things. If it’s something menial, take everyone’s methods into account and form your own way. If it’s something important, find a high ranking person (doctor, practice owner, head technician) and get it clarified which way YOU should do it.

-Try to keep busy! If you don’t know what to do, ask anyone if there’s anything you can do to help them. If not, you can always sweep/mop/clean. Your coworkers and employers will definitely take note of it.

-Check on patients. Maybe this comes from my emergency experience, but you can never check on patients too often! From something small like pee sitting in the cage, to a change in breathing patterns, you don’t want anything to go unnoticed for too long. If anything looks abnormal to you - ask for a second opinion.

-(May be targeted more toward Emergency.) Learn normal vitals. These are your first indicators of something going seriously wrong. Learn what a normal heart rate is for a small/medium/large dog and for a cat (and how it sounds!), learn a normal respiration rate, and normal gum color. Not as urgent - but temperature too. A change in vitals may be a normal occurrence of a disease process or side effect of medication, but always bring it up to the doctor just in case. Hopefully you’ve been around mostly healthy animals before shadowing, so learn what “breathing weird” looks like, and whether it’s increased effort (dyspnea) or increased rate (tachypnea)… or both. You hear about pale gums and cyanotic (blue/purple) gums a lot, but if you ever get to see them, take note of what they actually look like on a living patient. Mentation is important too - is that crazy energetic puppy suddenly only glancing over at you when you open the cage door? That cat who wanted to kill you an hour ago not even hissing when you disconnect his fluids?

-(May be targeted toward emergency). Triage. In the emergency room, we triage everything. In GP, we did not. Sometimes it’s obvious, like a patient hit by a car needs to be rushed straight back, and a puppy hopping around for a vaccine appointment does not. But if you get a chance to look around the waiting room, take a look at the patients. Take note of any abnormal breathing, mucous membrane color, a patient lying on its side (laterally recumbent) and not really reacting to its environment. Sometimes owners don’t realize how serious of an emergency they have. It’s important to pick out the important pieces of information from what owners tell you. You’ll learn how to ask the right questions.

-Double check your math. If your doctor gives you medication doses in milligrams, you’ll have to convert them to milliliters. Even if you’re just filling oral meds in the pharmacy, you may need to figure out how many tablets equates to the right number of milligrams. Double check your math. Triple check your math. Ask someone else to check it. Check it until you’re confident. (Soon you’ll get an idea of “that seems like a really high dose”, is it written correctly?)

-Be clear. Working around other people who know a lot about animals and medicine gives us a skewed perspective. Don’t assume every owner knows something that’s “common sense” to you. Be very clear with explanations or medication instructions. 

-Label everything! If you have a pill just sitting somewhere, that’s extremely dangerous. Always write the type of medication, the dose, and the patient name. If an owner drops off treats for their pet in the hospital - label it! If you have a pet temporarily in a cage, write his name (you definitely don’t want patients getting mixed up and getting the wrong treatments). Label everything!

-Always keep a record, write things down. When the doctor asks you 8 hours later what diet you fed a specific patient this morning when there’s 20 other in-patients, you’ll be glad you did!

-Be nice to clients. People are frustrating, some people are very rude, but get used to your “customer service” persona!

-If you don’t have qualifications, be careful answering client questions. Depending on the rules of your practice, you may not be allowed to answer certain questions unless you’re a doctor. Unless the doctor explicitly tells you that you can tell an owner something, always tell the client that you will have the doctor come right in to talk with them. Unless it’s a straightforward question like, “Has he vomited today?”. (I’m talking about questions like: “When are we gonna decrease his medication?” “When can he come home from the hospital?” “Do you think he’s gonna live?” “Have his kidneys gotten worse?”)

-Learn how the front desk works! Just because you’re working as an assistant in the back doesn’t mean you should be confined back there. In my first job, the front desk was completely separate from the back treatment area, and none of the assistants knew how to work the front desk. Sometimes it’s busy or you need to cover someone for lunch, and you should learn how to check someone out, book an appointment, answer a phone call. It’s very helpful to understanding how the practice works as a whole. 

-Clean up after yourself. If you make a mess, don’t leave it for someone else to clean up - this is a good way to annoy coworkers, haha. Of course, this isn’t always doable. Sometimes it gets busy, and everything turns into a mess at once.

-Respect the dead. Everyone in the medical field gets calloused to death/euthanasia because we have to. As sad as it is, sometimes euthanasia really is the best option for a suffering animal. We see death so often that letting every death tear us apart emotionally would be unsustainable. (Ever see that Scrubs episode where they talk about a patient dying, and how his whole family is taking the day off, but all the doctors have to move right on to the next patient a minute later? They say how they make jokes because it’s the only way to cope.)All that aside, have some respect for the patients. It’s okay to be emotionally calloused, but don’t be disrespectful. Don’t throw patients into body bags. Remember that this was someone’s best friend for a number of years. Treat them how you would want your deceased pet to be treated. 

-That’s a good overall rule. Treat your patients how you would want your own pet to be treated in a hospital. 

-Shadowing is a lot different than working. I’ve heard stories of people who graduate veterinary school, and all their experience is shadowing. They’ve never worked as an assistant or a technician, and when they handle their first patient, it’s clear they’ve never restrained a fractious cat. When shadowing, you just kind of stand there and watch. Your whole purpose for being there is to watch and learn - so you get to see all the “cool” cases and procedures and ask questions whenever. When you’re working, you may miss a “cool case” because you’re busy restraining the dog with an ear infection. But you learn what it’s REALLY like to work in an animal hospital on a daily basis - your future career! And it taught me a huge amount. A recent veterinary graduate told me that having all this experience working will help me immensely in veterinary school. Instead of just learning the concept of a disease in school, you’ll be able to relate it to that patient who HAD the disease and what the symptoms actually looked like.

——-

Good luck! 

[thinkaboutrunning]

Things I can't run without

I know, running is supposed to be the most basic of all exercises, except maybe walking. We should be able to run without any additional gear, even without special clothing. And if we must do it that way, we certainly can. But, it's so much more fun and so much more pleasant when we arm ourselves with available gadgets and gizmos. I've tried many and kept only a few I can't run without, sort of. From run trackers to podcast players, here's what I use.

I started "au naturel" wearing my ancient sports shorts from high school (I was lucky they made them so stretchy that I could fit in) and sneakers I bought for walking. They were comfortable and felt great. Sneakers were already moulded by my feet. Those were simple, chafing and blister-free runs.

The more serious I became about it, though, the more I started reading online and offline about things advertised as "essential" to improve my running. To tell the truth, I was mostly interested in finding a way to measure the distance I ran. Those were the days just before GPS became omnipresent. Sometimes I drove the route I was going to run to measure the distance on the car's odometer; on one occasion I even talked a friend into following me in a car. He avoids me ever since.

I turned to the internet, bought a Nike+ pedometer, put it on my shoes and paired it with my iPod. It was inaccurate, for sure — for example a marathon I ran with it was measured as a 45 kms run, full 3 kms longer than actual distance — but it was ingenious when it comes to motivation and goal-setting. Now I could set the weekly, monthly and other goals in distance and time. And, it had a feature I miss ever since - a "Power Song". I could pre-program my own pick-me-up tune and then play it whenever I want or need it during the run by pressing and holding iPod's menu button.

If you promise not to laugh at my taste in music, I'll tell you the song that carried me through the heavy-legged final stages of quite a few marathons and half-marathons; it was Christina Aguilera's "Candyman". Other than catchy melody and cheerful vibe, it also had the perfect beat-per-minute rhythm to which I could match my stride and get some badly needed speed. When I evolved to more sophisticated distance trackers, I lost that Power Song feature and miss it ever since!

I already outed myself as the non-purist runner. (The purists being runners who don't listen to anything other than the sounds of their surroundings and their own breathing.) Yes, I run with headphones, and am not apologizing for it. Nowadays, my phone is my tracking device and a few "essential" apps keep track of my runs and make them more enjoyable. Before I bare my running soul and sole in front of you, I want you to know that I'm kind of an old geek. I like to experiment and try new things all the time, sometimes to my own detriment. One can't know if something's really good until he tries it, right? So, here are my running essentials.

A GPS-capable smartphone is a must. I have an old-ish iPhone 8 which still tracks my distance quite well.

Comfortable headphones. My ears are large — I know, I'm not proud of them and didn't ask for them, but there they are. Most of the earbuds and other fancy small earphones won't stay in my ears. They wiggle and slide out after a few running steps. So, I'm looking for headphones that hook in place in some way. Trust me, running with an earbud that needs to be tucked back in every few steps can ruin your mood run! The current ones I have is the simplest of simple sets of Panasonic wired sport headphones with plastic hook over the ear. What I look for in headphones? I want them light, with some sort of hooking solution either over ears or around the head. Waterproof, or at least water-resistant is preferable. Because, no amount of sweat or rain can stop us, right? Bluetooth wireless are great, but tend to be heavier due to the battery they need to function, which makes them fall outta my ears easier. Also, some bluetooth headphones have connection problems, even though my phone is in my waist-belt less than a meter down from my ears. Further, I prefer earphones which sit outside my ear canal, thus allowing me to hear the sound of my surroundings. It's always useful to hear the car approaching. I know it spoils the sound quality, but ask yourself do you really need a studio-quality sound while running on the road?

I've seen people running with fancy over-the-ear noise-cancelling headphones — I'd love me a pair of those for when I'm on an airplane, but there are two problems I have with them in running situation: they tend to be hot and make me sweat even more; they make me unaware of the traffic and things approaching me outside my field of vision.

My favourite run-tracking app is iSmoothrun. It has more data of my run than I really need, but hey — better too much than not enough, right? It tracks the mileage on my shoes, too. It has easily programmable intervals with great audio feedback. And it syncs with many running community and tracking sites, from Strava to RunKeeper and many in between.

Running community site I use is RunKeeper. It's neither better nor worse than the others. I have used it since 2010, all my running data since then is there and even though I tried Strava and many others, I haven't found a compelling reason to switch, yet. RunKeeper is owned by ASICS, which sort of guarantees they'll be around for a while. But really, it's the matter of preference. I can only suggest that, when you find the site that works for you, stick with it and keep all your data in one place.

One more essential app or site is a weather app. I'm currently running in Europe and use two weather mobile websites which, between them, give me the most accurate hourly forecast: Yahoo weather and Norwegian YR. In North America I trusted The Weather Network the most. Whichever app you choose, I suggest check if it offers the wind speed data per hour. Also "feels like" feature for temperature, whether it's the humidex factor (humidity index) or windchill (in the winter) is very helpful when you need to decide what to wear for the run. All the sites I mentioned above have it.

When it comes to on-run entertainment, there is your music app, whether it's the streaming one (Apple Music, Spotify) or just music playing one. I can't help you much with it, as I'm using Apple Music because it's pre-installed and all my music is there.

Then, there's a podcasts app. Podcasts are radio on demand on any topic you can think of and many you never thought of. They are great way to break the monotony of a long run. My "weapon" of choice is Overcast.

Finally, for the book-loving runners among us, there's an audiobooks app of your choice. On Apple's platforms Apple Books app (former iBooks) doubles as an e-book reader and an audiobook player. Personally, I'm a big reader, but find the audiobooks not affordable, especially at my reading pace of 3-5 books a month. I tried Audible too, it gives one book a month within the subscription, the rest costs extra. Too much for my pocket!

Then I found the solution! There's an iOS app (I'm certain there's something similar for Android too) called Epub Reader. It not only lets me read ebooks, but it also reads it to me. There is selections of voices to choose from and some of them sound almost human. When a book is so good I can't put it down for a run, I listen to it in the same app, while running. My version of the app takes only epub formatted ebooks, but there are plenty free online book conversion sites to help if your book is in a different format. You can try ToEpub, or just search for "free epub converter online".

There you go — these are the gizmos that made my runs enjoyable for years. What are yours? Also, if you have any question, just ask!