#I'm not kidding I'm even willing to make pay just 2 thirds of the time spent making it working with that stitch was so fun

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Yeah okay after falling into this hole of research (scrolling Instagram and looking through every account that sells fiber crafts handmade things) I'm sure I want to try out selling stuff because god not to brag but I can make better stuff than some of the things I've seen and if I can somehow surpass the huge obstacle of being a nobody and get my stuff seen by people I should be able to sell things for real

[fluffysucker]

2. Everything is blue

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

Angst train still going. I promise there is a plot and you will get more Bucky. In the meantime, please share your thoughts and how do you think it's gonna play out.

Likes, comments, reblogs are very highly appreciated

Feel free to correct me if you find any mistakes

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

It was rough. That's all you could think about. However, when anybody asked you, you never said it out loud. You didn't know why. You felt that maybe if you said it was a mutual decision, then things would be easier. It would make a bit of sense. But a part of you knew everybody saw right through your lies. How could it ever be easy?

Some time has passed since you signed the paper, making you officially divorced. Since there wasn't any big fallout between you and Bucky, you were able to settle everything without going to court. Bucky was already offering everything. He would be the one to move out, so you and the kids would stay in the house. And he was paying more than enough child support. The kids would spend the weekends with him as well. As said, there were no conflicts or arguments in the divorce except for your crushed feelings.

The arrangement was working. On weekdays, you had the kids. Bucky would call them daily. Then came the weekends when Bucky would have them. You were still adjusting. You never thought you would be a single parent. It's taking a lot from you to come to terms with your life now. You didn't have the luxury of time. You were a full-time mother along with your job. Your two children counted on you. They needed their mom to be focused and present. And you knew if you let yourself be, you wouldn't even leave the bed. So you bottled it up, kept it all in, acted as if you weren't dying every single day, and kept going on.

But seeing the man who broke your heart weekly wasn't making it any easier. You expected that it would only last for a while, and then Bucky would forget about the three of you. You were preparing for this. However, it never happened. He remained very present in the kids' lives. He kept in touch and knew everything about Lily and Theo. He even put so much effort into reminding the kids of his unceasing love for them.

He was still the best father you could have ever asked for your kids to have. He just couldn't be your husband anymore.

You were cutting the fruits into star shapes, just like they liked it. Then, add them to the bowl next to the crackers and the cheese. Lily and Theo were always hungry when they got back from school. You were expecting them any second now. Bucky volunteered to pick them up today. Both of you had to stay in very close contact for the sake of your young kids. Even if it was so painful to see him, you were willing to go the extra mile. Because your kids were your top priority.

You heard the door opening and your children's voices speaking thousands of words a second. You already knew they would be so happy that Bucky was the one to pick them up. With him away five days a week, the kids were always missing him.

It's a mutual decision to let Bucky keep his key to the house. All decisions regarding the kids were mutual. Other than that, you weren't sure.

"How was your day, sweeties?" You asked aloud as both of them ran to you and hugged your waist.

"It was great. Miss Sally really liked my project." Lily couldn't hide her happiness. She had been putting her heart and soul into this project for sometimes now.

"I knew she would. I'm so proud of you, baby." You pressed a big kiss to her hair. Then you turned to your son to ask about his day.

"It was good. But Karl's mom wouldn't leave us to come home when she saw Daddy." Theo told you as you gave him a kiss on the cheek as well.

You should have expected that. Everyone knew about you and Bucky's divorce by now. By no competition, Bucky was every woman's crush. All the mothers and teachers never even tried to hide their crush on the man. And nobody could blame them. Along with his attractive looks and killer body, Bucky was incredible with Lily and Theo, a true hands-on father. He was also very successful at his job. He was the whole package. But he was yours. And you used to make it clear that you didn't take well to flirting with your husband.

Now, he's not your husband anymore. So you should know that women would be throwing themselves at him. Especially those who already liked him, like Karl's mother. You hadn't thought of this yet. The fact that Bucky is single now He could go out with any woman he desired. He could touch, kiss, sleep with, and even love any woman. Any woman but you.

You shook the idea out of your head quickly. You were in enough pain. You didn't need an addition. You sent the kids upstairs to change, and then they can have their snacks. You turned to look at Bucky, who was standing by the kitchen door in all his glory. It was clear he left to get the kids straight away from work. You always used to tell him how formal attire fitted him and brought out his best features. You frowned when you saw the look on his face. What was it?

"I have bad news." You tried to control your breathing. You weren't ready for any more blows to your face.

"Tony and Pepper are in town, and they want to meet up." You groaned in annoyance. It was better than you thought, but still bad.

Tony Stark and his then assistant, now wife, Pepper, were friends of yours. Not as close as others, but still friends. Tony was one of Bucky's most important business partners. You really liked them. They were good people. However, They were the most extravagant couple you had ever met. Not only were they inseparable, they always had a story to tell. An overtop story for sure. And if they wanted to meet, you would have to meet.

Which was exactly what led you to your current situation.

Sitting in the café, which was clearly Bucky's choice, and you were thankful for that. But you weren't thankful for anything else. Tony and Pepper had been talking nonstop; you couldn't remember for how long. There were so many stories about their work, their new big house, their dates, their trips, and the new intern, whom they clearly were adopting. The list didn't end.

You tried to pay attention; you really did. But you couldn't when you had only one thing in mind. The way Tony had been holding Pepper's hand ever since they got her, drawing circles on it Along with the glimpse you got from their stories, you couldn't help yourself.

Tony held the same reputation that Bucky once did. A ladies man A playboy. A man nobody thought would settle down. However, when Tony did settle down, no one questioned him, and no one warned Pepper about him. Nobody doubted them. You couldn't say the same for yourselves.

"So what about you, guys?" Pepper's voice broke your train of thought. You looked at her with a fake smile.

"Anything interesting?. An amazing trip? Maybe another baby?" You could feel the tears forming in your eyes and the pain rushing through your body at Pepper's question. You quickly got a grip on yourself and managed to look normal again.

"Actually." You turned to Bucky, hoping he would be the one to tell them.

"We got divorced." And he did.

In any other situation, Pepper's loud gasp and Tony spitting his drink on you would be very funny, but not when you were on the receiving end of it.

Bucky moved quickly to hand you tissues as Tony apologised profoundly, which you reassured him was okay.

"When did this happen?" Pepper asked as the shock wore off.

"About a month ago." You let Bucky do all the taking, not trusting your voice to speak.

Another loud gasp escaped the couple. Their reaction had to be the funniest of all the people to whom you told the news.

"We thought it wasn't going to happen." Pepper's quiet voice didn't miss you, giving her a questioning look.

"I mean, we all thought it would happen eventually, but after Theo, we thought that was it. You guys were in for life."

"Yeah. It was kind of really expected early on, but not anymore."

"We used to place bets on whether you were even going to get married or not. We all lost them when he proposed."

You were putting all your efforts into controlling your breathing and stopping the panic from taking over. And Bucky's lack of answer wasn't helping. Did he always have this in mind? To leave you?

You were thankful that Pepper changed the subject. It's better to hear about their overbearing stories than how everybody doubted your relationship from the start. How was it doomed from the beginning?

Did Bucky have answers to all of these questions? You couldn't tell. You weren't able to read the man sitting next to you anymore.

With all this on your mind, before you knew it, you were leaving with a promise to meet again. You and Bucky got in his car together. You kept a little conversation going between the two of you. However, you avoided Tony and Pepper's comments like the plague. And you didn't know if you liked it or not. Would it be better if you knew more?

You've reached your house. You thanked Bucky for the ride and got into the house. You found the house better than expected. Uncle Steve and Aunt Sharon kept things in order. You went to your babies and kissed their cheeks as they were all watching TV.

"Get ready, sweeties. Daddy wants to take you out." Of course, that is why Bucky dropped you off. He wanted to see the kids.

Your kids' very excited squeals were the only source of peace you had lately. They put on their shoes and left right away for Daddy, who was waiting outside.

"How were Tony and Pepper?" Sharon came to help you as you started tidying the living room.

"Great. Did you know Tony got Pepper a huge bunny for Christmas?" You laughed as you recalled one of the many bizarre stories they shared.

"As a matter of fact, I did." Sharon replied as she finished putting the toys in their box.

"We all did." Steve joined the two of you.

"Then you must have known that mine and Bucky's divorce was coming. Apparently, you all did." You didn't mean for it to be bitter. You didn't mean for it to come out at all. It just slipped. Your act cracking a bit.

Steve and Sharon shared a look. They didn't know what they could say. What could they tell you? That they all expected it. But not now. Not anymore. That the timing was the surprise, but not the split. However,was it worth making you feel like a fool who believed in the love of her life? It wasn't.

You quickly recovered and changed the subject. Anything they would say wouldn't make it better. And you weren't looking for answers from them. They stayed, and you chatted for a bit. Nothing too serious. Just filling time instead of being alone.

However, after saying your goodbye as they were about to leave, Steve called your name.

Would it ever stop hurting? Was this really the end to yours and Bucky's story?

"Whatever happened. I want you to know that you saved Bucky's life. You gave him a purpose."

You had to bite your lip to stop the breakdown. You couldn't decide whether Steve's words were enough condolences or if they were only fuel for your fire. All you could do was give him a small smile.

Taglist: @lethallyprotected @almosttoopizza @ragingrainbowshipl @dexter99 @xdarkcreaturex

[hajiimes]

purple hydrangeas

pairing: suna rintarou x gn!reader tags: angst, hurt/no comfort, hanahaki au warnings: mentions of blood, surgery, and hospitals word count: 1.4k author's note: if this looks familiar at all that's cuz it's a repost from my previous blog (also hajiimes) from like 2-3 years ago lolol !! i revamped it and am reposting it here :D i'm sorry i was gone for so long it's been a wild time lol

masterlist

There’s a tickle in your throat and pain in your lungs. It’s been there for quite a while, so long that you’ve already forgotten what it felt like without the petals clogging up your lungs. You look at him, so unreadable, so unreachable . No one had told you that falling in love would hurt so much. 

It’s silly, you tell yourself. Childish. Dumb. Foolish. First love, a deadly fate. 

Suna Rintarou sits to your left in school and you cast glances at him whenever you’re sure that he’s paying more attention to doodling in his notebook than you. In your observations, you learn that Suna Rintarou dog-ears the pages of his textbooks to save his spot. You learn that he chews on the eraser at the end of his pencil when he thinks, leaving small indents in it when he pulls away to write. You learn that more often than not, Suna spends class time drumming his fingers on his desk, idly staring out the window instead of paying attention to the board. 

Suna isn’t the type to forget any pens or pencils, but he always forgets to bring extra paper. You couldn’t count the number of times he’d leaned over the aisle separating the two of you to ask for a sheet of paper, to which you’d happily obliged every time—always willing to lend a helping hand. Those reluctant smiles he sent you out of gratitude always seemed to brighten your day.

Honestly, it’s no surprise that you developed Hanahaki. 

He makes small jokes under his breath about classwork, little quips he doesn’t think anyone can hear. He offers you a pen whenever you forget one, accompanied with a small note stating ‘Give it back when you’re done’ wrapped around it. You end up keeping those notes, stuffing them between spare pages of your textbooks and notebooks. 

Suna is a boy of few words, but when he speaks you find yourself hooked on every one of them. Your friends call it puppy love. They call it a little kid’s crush. They tell you that in a month you’ll forget all about it and move on to some other guy. 

You don’t tell them that you probably won’t make it another month. 

The coughing fits become more and more frequent, each one right after the other. They get worse during school, during those hours when you’re near him. Purple petals litter your desk and pile into your hands, but you just discard them into your school bag with reckless abandon. 

Your friends approach you to ask if you’re okay. An easy, practiced smile stretches across your face and you wave them off like nothing is wrong. You tell them as much, you just have bad allergies! Nobody mentions that it’s not allergy season. You think it’s either out of mercy or pity that they leave you alone after that. 

Sometimes you think you can see Suna looking at you during class when you’re trying to discretely spit petals in cupped hands, but you always brush it off as a trick of the light. You think you can feel his eyes on you when you’re talking to your friends, watching as you carefully place your hands over the stray petals you forgot to brush off the desk. You smile and wave off your friends’ concerns like you always do. 

He never speaks up, never says anything about how your smile doesn’t reach your eyes.

Suna goes on with his life like nothing is wrong, pretending he doesn’t see you cough up purple petals into your hands out of the corner of his eye during third-period math. He pretends that he doesn’t see you each day in his peripherals, too preoccupied with your own impending demise to worry about the functions written out on the whiteboard. 

Even though things have changed so drastically for you, Suna stays the same.

You learn that he mumbles out the words when he’s reading something. You learns that he bounces his leg underneath the desk when you’re taking a test. You learns that he’s quiet, but that doesn’t mean he’s shy. When his friend—Miya Osamu, from the volleyball team—is around, he’s much more talkative than usual. You learn that he drops his bag on his desk loudly every day to wake himself up in the morning, the slamming of the books in the bag waking you up in turn.

It’s cruel, you think to yourself in those selfish moments you allow yourself to consider him between the last toll of the school bell and the beginning of club activities, watching as Suna packs his schoolbag and slings it carelessly over his shoulder. He spares you one single glance, his lips a flat line as he makes a beeline past his peers lingering at their desks and heads out the classroom door. You watch Suna walk away like he always does, sparing you a single merciful glance as you dump the last of the school day’s purple hydrangeas into the trash. It’s cruel that he doesn’t know the effect he has on you.

It’s getting worse. 

Your parents beg you to tell them who it is, and how they can stop it from happening. They offer to switch your school, to pull you from club activities, to move prefectures if it helps. Your mom begs you to consider surgery; she pleads that you’re too young to die like this. You don’t care—you would rather die in love than live without it. 

Each day you live with the disease is a day your body grows weaker and weaker. Your body runs cold and your head feels heavy every moment you has to hold it up. Your teachers, luckily, are merciful. They don’t say anything when you rest your head in class—they know your situation all too well. You can feel the pitying glances they send you during breaks and passing periods, their stares burning into the back of your head. 

It comes upon you suddenly, like a summer storm, during history class. Bile and flowers rest in your throat and, without a word, you excuse youself to the bathroom—just barely making it there in time.

Flowers bloom in your lungs, growing more and more until the petals fill your throat and spill out of your mouth. It hurts, you want to scream out, It hurts so much, but when you opens your mouth to speak, petals fall out in red, bloody clumps in lieu of words. You clutch at your throat and squeeze, hard, in a futile attempt to force the flowers out. 

It doesn’t work.

They find you in the second-floor school bathroom three minutes later. Petals surround you like a halo and, if it weren’t for the blood on your lips and the odd placement, one might think it’s some sort of art project. 

You remember what happened in flashes. You’re rushed to the hospital. The doctors call your parents. You’re rushed into the operating room. You fall asleep, Suna’s name on his lips. 

The flowers inside of your lungs are gone when you wakes, but a dull throbbing sits in their place. There are no flowers in the hospital room, no bouquets—something you find yourself grateful for. It’s funny somehow, the caution in which the people around you treat those silly little blossoms. It’s almost laughable, the way your family acts like you’ll break at the mere sight of a petal. Like you’re fragile.

It’s not long before you’re cleared to return to school, cleared to return to your fifth-row seat. People crowd you before class, each one asking if you’re okay, how the surgery was, and what it was like to have the disease. You wave them off with an easy smile, only saying that you’re glad to be back. 

There’s a boy who sits to your left. He holds his pencil tightly in his hand, plump pink lips wrapped around the end as he chews lightly on the eraser. His leg bounces with deep-rooted anxiety whenever you glance over at him. 

In the transition between second and third period, he passes a note with the words ‘Welcome Back’ written on it in hurried chicken scratch. You think it’s meant to be a joke. 

When you look up at the boy, you finally notice that his gray-brown eyes are watching you. You raise your eyebrows, watching as the corners of his lips turn upwards—an offering of the smallest of smiles. This classmate is familiar somehow, a creeping presence in the back of your mind. A gap in memory that should be filled, a cavity in your heart. You know that you’ve met before—it’s obvious in the way he’s looking at you. 

For some reason, you can’t remember his name.

[aiyexayen]

hello i am eyes emojiing about chengling goes with wkx OR long long long story ch 3

ooh yes chengling going with wen kexing is a fun au of mine, though it's still in the rough draft stage. based on the premise of what if wen kexing had stumbled upon chengling before boatman li ever could, and what if he saved him in spite of himself, what if he bundled him and the shard of glass stuffed into his stomach away on his boat and then had to figure out what the heck do i do with a whole entire kid--again?

a little excerpt:

Wen Kexing flicks his fan closed and reaches out to put his free hand on Chengling's shoulder. He searches the boy's face, feeling that unavoidable kinship still burning bright. "You want revenge so badly?" he asks; Chengling nods. "You're willing to do anything?" Chengling nods again. "And you trust me?" His voice is severe but Chengling nods a third time. "Then do you believe me if I tell you that not all ghosts are the same?" Behind them, Wen Kexing hears A-Xiang's sharp indrawn breath. Chengling doesn't seem to notice; he just blinks once and considers the words. Wen Kexing watches the thought work its way through his head. In the end, Chengling still nods, but very slowly. "If you say it, Wen-shu, then I believe you. But..." "Some of them are evil, and do evil things." Wen Kexing swallows, and lies: "And some of them are very good people who want the rest of them dead as much as you do." Chengling is not, after all, that stupid. Hand still on his shoulder, Wen Kexing can feel the tremor as the boy almost flinches back then decides not to and stands his ground instead. The tension in the air radiating from behind them is also palpable and he does not have to turn to know that A-Xiang has put down her project, tensing for a fight.

also, i am a clown and typo'd 3 when it's actually long long long story chapter 2 that i'm working on XD to make up for this terrible oversight, here is an excerpt from that one as well:

A-Xiang doesn't like Cao Weining. Not even a little bit. But she doesn't have time to search the city for Zhuren and Cao Weining is the only one here at Yueyang Pai she can trust. He's always around, maybe he can finally be useful about it. Chengling being kidnapped isn't ghost business, after all, so it won't be a risk, and A-Xiang needs help--she can hardly move her arm. Ugh, whoever that awful scorpion woman is needs to pay for that. And how dare she bring up Qianqiao-jiejie? Actually, how dare she kidnap Chengling to begin with? Sure, he's a little soft and very silly, but he's the first person who's ever called A-Xiang jie. What right does some stinky assassin have to steal him out from right in front of her? It's thoughts such as these that are spilling out of A-Xiang in grumbled mutterings as she clomps her way up to Cao-da-ge's window. It doesn't occur to her to knock on the door; it's late; that would be rude. She'll shake him awake and then-- "H-Halt!" She's got the window mostly open with her good arm when she's met partway. Cao-da-ge stands there, hand on his sword hilt, stance cautious and face furrowed in cute scrunchy confusion until recognition replaces it. The relief only lasts until he takes A-Xiang's appearance in: fight-mussed hair, disheveled skirt, face full of familiar ire and unfamiliar stress. "A-Xiang?!" "Good!" she sniffs. "You're already dressed. Come on, quick, let's go get Chengling."

wip ask game

[mishkalantia]

I haven't written here for a long time. Mostly because when Trump won the first time, I realized ...

No one is listening.

But I'm going to write more today, just to get my thoughts down somewhere to think 'out loud'.

I've given it some thought and I know where my line in the sand is.

As a trans person, there are levels of survival I am willing to accept. I've been a second and third class citizen ever since I transitioned. My kid will be getting out of school and moving with her other parent to begin adulthood so I don't have to worry about her or her safety when it comes to being near me if anything goes wrong. I can stay in the U.S. even if:

They remove all discrimination protection. (I can't find a damn job anyway ... And I'm pretty sure my land lord cares more about money than me existing).

They retroactively make me have to change my paperwork and ID back to have the wrong gender on it. (It's humiliating. But I can survive it.)

They make it illegal for me to use a woman's restroom. (I'm not pretty. But I am confident I blend in well and go unnoticed. I'll either break the law, maliciously comply and use the men's room, or more likely as I'm a law abiding citizen, and don't like to stand out, and would rather choose safety, I would be extremely careful to keep any public outings short and to a minimum.)

They remove any federal assistance for trans related health care. ( I've always made a point of paying for my transition related care myself even when I had to NOT EAT in order to afford to do so. I did that just in case this ever happens.)

Hell. They can even make me change my damn name on paper. I don't have to use it. I don't have to tell people. And if they somehow do use it? I'll survive. There are a lot of people, not just myself who swallowing their pride and just surviving next four years is going to be how we win. I'm not alone in that and I can do it.

I can endure all of it. ALL of it. Even more than is listed above. Except:

I ... Have no idea what to do if they change national health care policy to no longer allow my HRT medication to be used with the 'off label' use to maintain my transition.

The way I see it, I will only have four choices if it comes to that, and all of them are bad.

1) Flee the United States.

2) Obtain medication or the ingredients to make it myself off the black market.

3) Detransition.

4) ... I can't bring myself to type out the fourth option.

Option one is probably the best.

But, for all the U.S.'s screaming about immigration, it is actually Very Hard to immigrate to another country, even from America.

I don't have a job that allows me to transfer to a country for work. I don't have an in demand degree or career. I don't have a significant other I could marry and move to be with. I only speak English. There are some countries that allow you to BUY your way in with expensive land investments.

But even if I sold everything I have and did that, then what? None of them are countries with English as the primary language to my knowledge. How do I navigate health care to continue my medication in another country where I would functionally be illiterate and don't know ANYONE? On and on and on. I'm already thinking about it. I'm already planning for it. But my initial serious look at it is that it will be extremely difficult. And I fear life afterward will be soul crushingly lonely. Not to mention starting life completely over at my age is daunting. But I would at least survive if I can figure out both how to do it and where to go.

The second option is more do-able but also has huge downsides. Super villain origin story. I would have to embrace breaking the law on a constant basis. But to me it strikes me as dangerous. How do I know it's safe? What if I make it wrong? What if I get caught with it and sent to prison with the new realities of what that would be like on top of all the other horrible things about being in a U.S. prison? Etc.

Option three ... Detransition is absolutely not an option. It's just not. I remember how I felt before hand. My worst days since transitioning have still felt so much better by comparison. I refuse to go back. I especially refuse to be FORCED to go back.

That leaves option 4. I don't think anyone I know wants to even hear option four. And I won't type it because I don't want to give anyone the idea or impression that it's an option I condone. But I've definitely seen people discussing it among trans people.

Even if the worst scenario doesn't play out and I just live the next four years looking down and just focus on basic survival until I'm able to find a way to resist, I know only one thing for sure ...

It should NEVER have come to this.

[thepersona]

Extraordinary Attorney Woo: Thoughts on episodes 15-16 (spoilers!)

All good things must come to an end. Now that the dust has settled in my brain after my third watch (lol), let's unpack this week's two-part season finale (spoiler alert!)

First of all, writer Moon Ji-won and her team sure know how to weave metaphors and imagery like it's nothing I've ever seen in a K-drama. Definitely her strong suit. Some are blatant while others are so subtle most people miss it without a rewatch. Seriously, I could name several off the top of my head and I've probably missed twice as much. But let's focus on those present in eps 15-16.

I want to start with the introduction and characterization of Young-woo's half-brother Choi Sang-hyeon. Love her or hate her, I can't wait to see how brilliant Tae Su-mi actually is considering she's 2 for 2 in giving birth to geniuses. In his first scene in ep 15 alone, we are told that Sang-hyeon and Young-woo are alike yet different.

Throughout the show, circles have been associated with Young-woo. The title credits, the little details Young-woo's room, her headphones, the revolving door, Young-woo's name in hangul (우영우), even Dong Geurami (whose name means 'circle')! But what about Sang-hyeon?

It's all squares with this kid, who mirrors the opening credits in ep 16. And they both love gimbap! Perhaps even for the same reason that they like to see every detail of the thing they're dealing with (Young-woo with the law and whales, Sang-hyeon with computers). Better yet, they share a tendency to lean towards what's morally right, socially just and transparent, despite being in fields that are known to exploit people who aren't well-versed in their complexities.

I definitely like how he didn't take his frustrations out on Young-woo, instead assumed that she would understand him better than their mother, and he was right. I wonder what he sees during his Eureka moments, but we'll have to wait for season 2 to hopefully find out.

====

Now let's talk about this case. I can't tell you how much I LOVE that ep 15 started with spear phishing. It brought me back to this moment from ep 6 so fast I could almost feel the wind coming and hear the whales jumping. (Sorry for the noob gif quality)

Once we learn who the baby whale in question is, we're compelled to ask if Tae Su-mi is willing to make the same decision twice. And while she was ready to bury it to save her candidacy, she ultimately lets Sang-hyeon out himself as the hacker and participate in the trial, putting her political ambitions at an end - or more likely on hold.

The hunter/ress throwing the harpoon in this case, you guessed it, is Han Seon-yeong. Throughout the show, CEO Han seemed to be playing a game with CEO Tae, though the latter didn't seem to acknowledge the game at all. Where CEO Han spends most of her jealousy-driven time thinking of how to take her rival down, CEO Tae doesn't pay her as much attention, instead preferring to use her energy on her next professional conquest. Sound familiar?

The result for CEO Han is lukewarm. Tae Su-mi isn't outed (yet) for having a child out of wedlock and manages a relatively graceful exit from her nomination, Young-woo gets to keep her peace, Sang-hyeon is publicly disgraced but keeps his dignity and honor. So far, Han's bark has been louder than her bite. She's never made any significant contribution to the cases she injected herself into. Whereas CEO Tae would have won the Seodok-dong case if it weren't for Young-woo's genius. Maybe she held back because of her humanity towards the innocent parties. On the other hand, she could also be waiting for a bigger scandal to take her rival down for good. In that case, we have reason to expect her to be the antagonist in Season 2, though I would have liked to see more hints scattered prior to ep 16 apart from the deleted scene in ep 8.

With Sang-hyeon now in her orbit, I'm looking forward to more brother-sister interactions in Season 2. Choi Hyun-jin did a great job with his portrayal (am I the only one who likes his eyes?). There was some tightrope walking between sinister and brilliant going on there, his introduction felt like a scene from "Juvenile Justice". Bravo.

====

Last week, I told you (!) that Young-woo and Jun-ho would be endgame. All because it was hinted by the case, the monk, and the dialogue during the breakup, among others, that they were both capable of looking beyond the surface of their problems.

I also said that Young-woo shouldn't be so criticized for letting go of him without a proper explanation at the time because she was trying to be selfless (for a change, or so she thought). So this week, we got another metaphor from Jun-ho this time about unrequited love for a cat, but that it's okay because the owner is happy with the cat just being there no matter how selfish the cat can be sometimes. Message received, and our whale couple is back together.

While I'm very happy that we were not given the 2521 treatment, the execution of this storyline leaves a bit to be desired. It's the same issue I've had with it since ep 11, in that they've been cutting the scenes so abruptly, especially those filmed near Young-woo's house. The scene where Young-woo finally tells Jun-ho her reason for the breakup and then it just holds the pause after she bows then that's it. I know they probably didn't want to cram more progress into ep 15 and focus more on the trial scenes but it resulted in some uneven storytelling.

Btw, I adore that scene where he gets all defensive when the Taesan messenger startles Young-woo but he doesn't pry. Kang Tae-oh was just majestic. Though this was something that Young-woo's dad could have seen so he'd give her a nudge to say Jun-ho may be right for her after all. Another could be the hospital fiasco, where instead of driving off with douchebag Attorney Jang, Jun-ho could have been caught on camera shielding Young-woo from the press, leading her dad to the same conclusion. Although driving off was one way to show that he can also make poor snap judgments and that's ok. I know I'm getting nitpicky but I just wish there was something so their makeup on the way to the trial could have a little more meat. But all is well since we got the result we wanted.

====

Should I even write about (still trash, now compostable) Kwon Min-woo and my girl Choi Su-yeon at this point? They really went the route of "let's introduce a worse character so the guy you hate doesn't look half bad". I mean Attorney Jang is where Min-woo would be if left unchecked after about 15+ years. I'm okay with redemption arcs, I really am. I just hate when they happen overnight or when they're being given out like candy.

And while I don't underestimate nor belittle the things love can make you do, I can't get on the "I can change him" trope. It's so beneath the Su-yeon that we know. And it taints the sincerity of Min-woo's 'change' in that every good deed he does from here on is based on pleasing her and not because it's the right thing to do. He's lucky she has a great moral compass. The attempt at fistbumping Young-woo was just cringe. Would he have done that if Su-yeon hadn't been there? Exactly.

If the writer's intention was to keep his suspiciousness, then mission accomplished. I won't be surprised if they break up and he regresses to his old ways, or he regresses then they break up. If the goal was to transform him into a loveable character, then I just hope he's given a chance in season 2 to make morally sound decisions (at his expense) while he and Su-yeon are apart. It's the only way to get him back on track. I've been very critical, but seeing how things turned out, I'm optimistic we the audience will get the storyline we deserve next season.

====

Lastly, I like how Jung Myeong-seok's reconciliation with his ex-wife was left open-ended and dependent on how ready he would be to leave Hanbada for good. But even if he left the firm, old habits die hard. He may choose to represent less affluent clients like the temple, but his devotion to his work could make him relapse (in more ways than one). It would be interesting to see him slowly shift into someone a little more like Attorney Ryu from ep 12 and even work with her for a change. Better yet, start a firm with his babies and take on social justice cases going head to head with Taesan and Hanbada like David v. Goliath. It's another way to see what both CEOs are really made of once Young-woo takes off with her real family.

And that's where the season ends. Where the first episode only had one floating whale during Young-woo's commute, the conclusion showed several as she no longer feels alone.

Overall, I still think the two-part season finale was more than satisfactory with enough room to elaborate in season 2. I'm excited to see what's in store for Young-woo and co. now that the writer and producers have at least 2 years to figure out the best way to continue this extraordinary saga. Until the next Whoa Whoa Wednesday!

Check out my midseason (episodes 1-8) review, thoughts on episodes 11-12 and 13-14.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Do you have any sort of, words of encouragement, for a Greek-American who is struggling to learn Greek? My family is pretty connected to our heritage but I was never taught to speak Greek. I am an adult now, and I know I'm at an incredible disadvantage trying to learn a new language. The most discouraging thing is when I try to pronounce a word with a sound that isn't really in English (like γ) and I KNOW I am not saying it right, but no matter how hard I try I can't pronounce it correctly.

Hello! I'm very sorry for delaying this answer for some days, but as we see here, Zeus was fucked this week 😅

I will pin my answer so you can see it when you return, and the rest will be under the cut.

I believe there are MANY reasons for hope in this situation. Of course it feels very discouraging that you don't know the language already and you might feel left behind in this process. Plus, learning a new language is not an easy thing to learn. But worry not!

You are grown, and that means you can learn a language better and with more consistency and discipline. Have trust in your skills as an adult. What is more, you have grown up around Greek speakers and you will pick up certain things faster.

You are not alone in feeling this way. Most of the world has to learn a second language (and a third, as it's usual for many) and that would be the language most dominant in the wider area. Almost every person in the West who is not an English speaker has to learn English and learn it well, otherwise we feel embarrassed every time we try and form a sentence. For example, we apologize to each other about our accents in English German and French, even though we speak Greek.

Surely there are some differences between your situation and ours, but I mentioned this to show you that most people will be very understanding with accents because they have the same struggle. I mean, I'm not going to make fun of someone for having an accent in Greek when I sound like a demented chicken in German, despite taking years of lessons 😵 I have more confidence in my English but even now that I'm writing to you in this language I have to quadruple-check my sentences and phrasing. The amount of times I apologized in advance for my accent to English speakers is higher than my credit.

I relayed your situation to other Greek speakers and non-English speakers, and ALL agreed the accent is not anything they would pay attention to and told me to write you that you shouldn't feel bad about that. I did that because I knew they would have words of encouragement for you. And it turns out they believe exactly what I'm writing in this answer.

Accents are natural. You cannot expect not to have an accent when you have been speaking a different language all your life. Beating yourself up for having difficulty with the Greek pronunciation is like beating yourself up for something normal like walking or laughing when hearing something funny. You lack practice with the pronunciation due to circumstances beyond your control. You are doing what you can to change that, and every small win is worth celebrating!

I found this post the other day:

The notes? The likes?

And NO disagreements in the comments and reblogs for OP’s statement! Look how many thousands are supportive in this! (And that’s a small fraction of people who understand accents are natural.) And some of the responses:

Sure, some mention they have met native speakers who made it more difficult to feel comfortable with their accent and phrasing. But those people are assholes in general, and not the people you want to surround yourself with. If a relative expresses disgust about your accent remind them you didn’t have any control of how much and how well you were taught Greek when you were a kid, and then tell them that if they are a true friend and relative to you, they should support you in your journey. And even if you had some control and chose not to learn, you are learning now. So they should leave their resentment behind because, honestly, what do they have to lose from you learning the language better??

For the embarrassment you feel for yourself: you wouldn't make fun of a Greek for having trouble with the “r”, "s", “ch”, and possibly the "h" when speaking English, so extend that kindness to yourself when you speak Greek. Not to mention that with enough practice and time you can nail the accent!

Worst case scenario, if the accent never leaves, that's no problem whatsoever. Anyone who thinks badly of you for your accent is probably a PoS and they don't deserve your time. No matter where you are from, if they make you feel bad for having an accent in Greek, block them from your mind forever.

But chances are that (from experience) if anyone laughs with how you said something, I guarantee they are not laughing at you but because of how strange the sound or phrasing was. The person doesn't think badly of you because of this. Making mistakes of any kind when learning a language is very natural and it's something everyone must accept. If you are not willing to make mistakes and expose your language vulnerabilities to people who know the language better, might as well not try improving at all.

If anyone corrects you, they are not doing it out of pity. The majority of Greeks do it because they are very happy you speak the language and want you to be even more fluent. Like, they are doing it as an act of backing you up, they are feeling like they are giving you that extra XP to reach the next level! Others - like me - get that rush of happiness when they get to share their language with others 😁

I remember a guy on Tiktok who was learning Greek and ordered a coffee "without sugar" in a Greek cafe but instead of saying σκέτο ("without") he said σκατά ("shit"). I mean damn that was funny! I remember it weeks after I saw the video of him telling that story and it always cracks me up. Do I still appreciate him the same as before and follow him? Absolutely! He just had an unfortunate - and funny - incident, not something that lessened his integrity as a person.

From tiktok again: An American girl wanted to pronounce γύρος correctly when ordering it, and she was mumbling to herself on camera: “yeero, yeero, yeero!!” When her time to order came she shouted “May I have a gairow? FUUUUCKK FUUCK FUCK I SAID IT WRONG” 🤣

Another example is Athena from the Bachelor 2! She has given some gems throughout the show because she doesn't know the language that well, but everyone still loves her because she spreads positivity and is so cute!! If we, as viewers, disliked her it would be because of her character, not because she doesn't know the language well. And if some of the other girls in the show don’t take her seriously is because she laughs too much and mentions feta too often, not due to her Greek level of literacy. Athena, even when she is hurting someone else’s feelings, is always so genuine and you just can’t be mad at her!

I really can’t stretch enough how people laugh at the mishap, not the person! Please don’t feel discouraged if you ever see a Greek laughing with the pronunciation of an English speaker when it comes to Greek words (which I have done as well) because we never laugh at the speakers. We don’t even know them! We might laugh at one mistake but then instantly want to become this individual’s friends because we think they are amazing (see the three examples I mentioned above, the sugar guy, the gyro girl and Athena). Because that’s the normal thing to do; laugh at fun stuff and not judge people for their small mishaps. (In a casual setting, and not to an uncomfortable degree ofc!)

There are so many things to a person other than their accent and the accent becomes old news really fast. What remains is how the presence of a person makes you feel and if they are a good individual. If an English speaking friend says yatakai instead of γατάκι that opens the way for sooo many jokes! Greeks will laugh, do some YATAKAAIIII screams - ninja style, and then continue being friends with that person!

Greeks makes these mistakes as well... A Greek once said "arrive arrive" (φτάνει φτάνει) instead of "enough" when an English speaker was filling his glass. A Lower English degree caught fire that day 🤣 I have many bad examples of Greeks’ mistakes in English but I can’t remember a lot. But I’ve seen many videos of Greeks mocking themselves for how they sound in English. You can take a look at Tsipras’ (our former prime minister) mistakes on youtube if you are feeling brave 😂 (Ο Τσίπρας μιλάει Αγγλικά)

So, own your possible mistakes, laugh at them and move on because everyone makes them and we better have some good while we are struggling!

(( For the record, we are not making fun of Tsipras because of his accent, but because 1) he doesn’t know γρι English and yet he rarely brought a translator with him in international meetings with world leaders, 2) he could absolutely not hold a conversation with negotiating or discussing 3) he didn’t take steps to improve or fix the situation (like bring a translator). 4) Instead, he chose to torment us all with mind-numbing hours of reading English texts and making other world leaders struggle to explain to him what they meant for the nth time and meetings move at a snail pace.))

Alright, now that I cringed with the memory of Tsipras speaking English, I’ll go though the recommendations for improving the Greek pronunciation.

1) Go to my resources for learning Greek (#learn greek) where I have many videos where you can hear the sounds individually or withing other words very clearly. Easy Greek on youtube has excellent videos about pronunciation!

2) Seek practice as much as possible. Some Greeks switch to English when they hear an English accent to make the conversation smoother for the other person. If Greek speakers insist on talking with you in English tell them that you would wish to speak in Greek. I've seen that people often mirror the accent of the native speaker when they speak to one, so this might work for you as well with hours of practice. If no Greek speakers are available to you now, you can find Greek Americans online – or go to their festivals – and start talking to them.

3) Listen to Greek podcasts, songs and shows. (In my blog you’ll find them at #greek youtuber #podcast #greek tv #greek movie #short film #greek music). You know when you hear a catchy foreign song and then it’s stuck in your head and you say all the words perfectly without even knowing what it means? Well, this helps with pronunciation!

4) If you had Spanish in school or have Spanish friends mimicking the Spanish accent might help you. (Our accents are extremely close! The Spanish are the best at Greek pronunciation, and vice versa!)

5) Find sounds in your native language that sound close to the sounds you want to say in Greek. In German lessons I had trouble with “ch” in certain words because I made it sound like χ and it was horrible. My Greek teacher told me to remember how χ sounds in χήνα (it sounds a bit flatter) and make that sound when I encountered “ch”. It worked actually!

To people who have English as their native language I often suggest they remember the sound of w for γ because, although not used the same in the word, at times they have the same intensity. Γ is pronounced more “to the front” of the mouth, so if you can bring that sound forward in your mouth you’ll be very close, if not accurate, to γ. (But don’t bring it too much forward, sometimes it can sound like a “y”, unless you are saying a word where γ sounds like “y”).

Greeks pronounce σ more closely to “sh” than to “s”, so you also might want to keep that in mind since σ often distinguishes the Greek accent in English for me :p

That’s all! If you have more questions or want to tell me anything else about your experience with learning Greek, feel free to send another ask or a DM!

[eddiesfaerie]

okay like... sackler anxiously confessing his feelings for reader (maybe they're besties?). with kiss prompts 1, 2, 22. and from the misc prompts "i see you. i know you feel so invisible all the time, but you're not. not to me." sorry its vague lol feel free to feel it out however you like. (i'm still feeling THINGS for baby sackler today lmao)

omg my baby hello<3 no i love this, thank you so much for sending. i kinda made this super long by accident so i ended it kinda abruptly so sorry if the ending SUCKS. i really hope you like it 🥺

1.6k words: angst, hurt/comfort, season 1 Sackler, shitty friends (1) small kisses littered across the other’s face, (2) a small, fleeting kiss - which is immediately followed by a passionate, hungry kiss, (22) a kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party.

Another night of watching your friends go out as you sat on your couch, your phone overheating in your hand, burning your skin. You drop it, flinging it across the couch.

You didn’t even want to go out. You liked your alone time. You craved it, needed it to recharge from being around so many people all the time. You liked your friends, you loved them but…

But they’re different from you. Which is fine. Different is good, different is necessary.

You were upset because it was another night of being ignored, forgotten. No invitation whatsoever to go out with them. It’s not like you would have said yes, you probably would have declined.

It was the absence of the offer, again and again, that stung, that drove that knife deeper into your back. Sometimes you were so sick of them. Sometimes you hated them, sometimes you wish you had different friends. But everyone felt that way sometimes.

Adam was the only one of your friends that was straight edge. When your friends started ignoring you months ago, you called him. You got close really fast, faster than you were expecting but you weren’t complaining. You found comfort in each other, found comfort in the fact that you both sort of resented your friends in similar ways and preferred staying inside on Saturday nights.

He was the only person you allowed yourself to talk shit with, you were not one for talking about people behind their backs but with Adam… with Adam it almost felt like it didn’t count.

So you called him.

Your phone had cooled down, no longer holding those burning images, videos of your friends having the time of their life without you. Fuckers.

You asked if you could come over. He said sure. You locked your door behind you and walked up a flight of stairs, knocking on Adam’s door. You forgot sometimes that he lived right above you. You tried not to think about how you could hear too clearly every time he had a girl over, the way the floor would creak with the added weight on his bed, the stomping of feet, the muffled cries of pleasure. Your heart sank to the depths of your stomach and you cringed as he opened the door.

��Hey, kid.” He knew something was wrong with the way your lip trembled, the way your eyes were rubbed red.

“Hey.” You shoved passed him and into his apartment, plopping yourself down on his floor, in front of his stacks of movies, quickly trying to pick one out before he asked any questions. You were also trying to ignore the way he was shirtless, only wearing those weird jeans, the ones with the fade you hated so much. He was shirtless all the time, you don’t know why tonight it was serving as a distraction, irritating you in different places.

“Wanna watch something?” You asked, willing your voice not to tremble as you spoke. He noticed it anyways. 

“Sure, sure yeah pick anything. I’ll make popcorn.” Adam left you alone in the living room to pick something while you tried to fucking compose yourself. Deep breath after deep breath, quickly wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. No wonder he called you kid, you were being so stupidly childish.

Adam came back into the living room just as you were pushing the CD into the disc player, quickly jumping on his yellow couch, folding in on yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. He silently placed the bowl of popcorn in between the two of you, his eyes glancing at you every now and then, wondering to himself if he should ask or just leave it be. When he could tell you weren’t paying attention to the movie, one that you had already watched together a dozen times, he decided to say something.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or are you just waste a perfectly good viewing of our favourite movie, hmm?” Adam ignored the way his heart flipped the fuck out when he said ‘our’. There was really no ‘our’, though. You were just friends, you were just friends, you were just friends.

You hugged your knees tighter to your chest, hiding your face behind them and inhaling deeply, praying the tears away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Your words were muffled by your legs, it came out completely unintelligible.

“Kid, I can’t fucking hear you.” Adam said, trying not to laugh. He let his hand rest on the back of your neck, letting his thumb glide along the skin, trying to comfort you. He could feel the goosebumps he was leaving behind in his wake. You sighed loudly, throwing your head back against the back of the couch, caging Adam’s hand to your neck. You liked it there. Liked how big it was, how it wrapped all the way around your neck too easily.

“I just… I’m so... ugh.” You were getting frustrated with yourself. 

It felt so dumb to be so upset over something you didn’t even care that much about, and it felt even more dumb trying to explain it to Adam who you knew felt the same way about his friends. His hand squeezed the back of your neck softly, Adam swears he heard a low whimper but he brushed that thought away, that wasn’t important right now, not when he could see more tears filling your eyes.

“Hey, hey I’m here, kid. I’m listening.” You nodded your head, hearing him but tears started falling down your cheeks. So fucking embarrassing, you thought to yourself. Adam whispered your name and you swore it melted you further, so you leaned into him a bit, unfolding your legs and turning to face him better. His breath hitched in his throat at the sudden closeness. You had opened up more than he was expecting you to.

“I just hate them sometimes.” You said quietly, obviously embarrassed. You knew you didn’t have to explain it in depth to him, you knew he knew what you were talking about, who you were talking about. Adam nodded his head, letting his hand run along the expanse of your neck, petting your hair gently. It was so distracting. More tears slipped down your cheeks and Adam, unthinking, let his hand move to brush along your cheek, holding it as his thumb wiped your tears away.

Your skin was warm, burning underneath his palm and he fought with his instincts. He knew he was a shitty person, he knew that he’s done shitty things to a lot of girls. Girls that deserved better. But you… you didn’t even compare, he couldn’t even begin to explain that. He treated you differently, even you knew that. He was nicer to you, sweeter to you. Maybe it was because you guys were such good friends. But Adam knew differently.

“I see you. I know you feel invisible all the time, but you’re not... Not to me.” His voice is so hushed, so soft. You had never heard him speak like that before, never felt him so softly. His voice was warm and fuzzy around you, you could drown in him. You kind of wanted to. You leaned into his touch, absentmindedly pressing your lips to his palm, chaste little kisses, thanking him silently.

Adam hesitated. You saw the way in which he twitched forward towards you. You kissed his palm again, telling him it was okay. He leaned in more, letting his lips brush against your cheek for a few moments before pressing a real kiss to your hot, flustered skin. Your eyes close as you let his lips, those rose petal, plush lips, trail kisses all along your face. He kissed your cheeks, your tears, your eyes, eyebrows, forehead. Everywhere you let him until the only place left untouched was your lips.

Cautiously, he pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth, then the other one, tantalizingly slow. You whimper, you couldn’t have imagined holding it in. His eyes meet yours for a fleeting moment, you give the slightest of nods before his lips press into yours, granting you the softest of kisses.

He pulls away from you, afraid he had over stepped even though you seemed to have nodded for him to continue. He barely meets your eyes again before yours are closing, hands grabbing his neck, pulling him back to your mouth. He groans against your lips, he groans your name and you swear it never sounded so good. You melt into him, letting his hands hold you, grope you wherever he wants. His tongue glides into your mouth, his jaw working on your mouth to consume you, you feel whole with his mouth on you like this. He makes you feel okay.

Adam begins to lean over you, pressing your back lower on the couch but he grabs your leg, dragging you down the couch in one swift movement so he can hover over you. You yelp and giggle at his strength as he manhandles you down the couch, his body laying in between your parted thighs. You feel something growing with arousal, pressing into your harshly as he grinds his hips into yours, his mouth never leaving yours for a moment.

“Adam.” You moan softly into his mouth, hips grinding up into his, your hands exploring the bare expanse of his wide back. He moans when you sink your nails into him. He sits up abruptly, pushing his hair out of his face, his cheeks and chest flushed pink. He looks down at you, your disheveled appearance matching his own. He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your pants, searching your eyes for an answer.

“This okay?” You nod your head quickly, bottom lip pulled tightly between your teeth.

“Yeah-”

The unlocking of the front door sends Adam’s head twisting and your body scrambling to not be sitting in such a compromising position. His roommate walks in, a knowing smirk stretching across his face as he watches the two of you return to normal sitting positions. It sends a chill down your spine, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Could’ve just put a sock on the door, Sackler.” Adam rolls his eyes, not saying anything to his roommate as he walks through the living room, into the kitchen and then into his room, shutting the door behind him loudly.

A/N i wanna write more for sackler so badly hngngnng

[dumbladores]

You - Teaser

Summary:  Your brother and a girl with whom you’ve become friends with by sharing a home, are your flatmates. But since there was a room left, another person had joined in, and not just anyone, but the very Antoine Griezmann himself, who has decided to go back to university and check out the life he had missed while having a career. I intend to develop your relationship rather slowly (but not too slowly, don't be scared). I intend to have at least one little teasing per chapter, how many chapters there will be, I don't know, depends on your demand and how it develops on its own :)

I'll be posting one chapter at least every two weeks. Make sure you check out my Patreon, where you'll have access to more much sooner. I’m dedicating this to @xratedffbarbiex, who inspired that sudden urge to write, so please make sure to check out her Antoine-series as well.

English isn't my first language, so please have mercy with me.

Besides, I'm always happy about propositions or inspiration, so don't hesitate to contact me.

Cheers, guys, to the great community, we've got here!

Warnings: not yet

Part: 1/ ? Part 2 follows next week on my Patreon

Word count: 1756

One

Your brother and a girl with whom you’ve become friends with by sharing a home, were your flatmates. But since there was a room left, another person had joined in, and not just anyone, but the very Antoine Griezmann himself. Footballplayer since he was little, he had to give up his career due to an injury on his left knee. Since he had no family to look after, he had decided to go back to university, doing a little catching up on the life he had missed, as he had been a professional since a very young age.

You had been away when he was to have the “flat interview”, so you didn’t have any saying in the decision, it was anyway a two against one vote, since the others were absolutely enthusiastic about him. Of what you gathered from their statements, it was merely because it was, well, him. But they said he was nice, too. You rolled your eyes at that sentence. It was obvious the two had been taken by either his charm or his indeed very inviting physical features. Nevertheless the three of you made a pact to make every effort you could to make his life in (name of town) as normal as it could be and to trying to include him in as many common student activities there were. 

You often had friends over. Cynthia and you already knew a bunch of people since it was your third semester, and (name of your brother) also quickly took part in that circle of friends. 

It had been weeks since he moved in and yet it seemed he didn’t settle in easily. In videos you had seen of him, he seemed so playfully and easy to get along. But here he behaved rather shyly. He kept mostly to himself during the daytime, locking himself in his room. You only saw him once in a while in the kitchen and in the living room, where he watched football or basketball on a big flat screen he had bought to share with his flatmates, which made a big impression to the other two, but not so much on you. You weren’t to be bought so simply, especially not by someone who wasn’t paying much attention to other stuff you cared more about - for example looking someone in the eyes.

Of course, you had made a big deal out of that fact. You kept saying to Cynthia, what a prick you thought he was and how cocky he behaved. She just rolled her eyes and sayd you should give him some time.

In fact, your pride was a little tiny part of it. You couldn’t bare the thought he didn’t notice you, didn’t show interest in you. But you never in a thousand years would admit it. So you eagerly researched. You researched everthing about him. Where he was brought up, in which clubs he had played, you even watched interviews with him. He was Frances’ darling. Grizou, as they called him. A symbol, an idol for the country, who didn’t even trust in him when he had started his career. No club had wanted him, so he had to move to Spain when he was 14 years old. You couldn’t believe it. It sounded like he had a whole life behind him, now being only 29, he had experienced more than any other normal person at this age, And yet he hadn’t, as he was willing to go back to university to learn, what he had missed when he was out in this cruel world, that loves you at one moment and rejects you at the other. You watched some interviews with him. In most, in fact, he didn’t look the interviewer in the eyes. Most of them were filmed after a match, so you supposed, you couldn’t demand much of a player that just had run for one and a half hours. You certainly wouldn’t be able anymore to utter anything. In fact, you most certainly would be dead. But no, in other situations it was just the same. Also what he was saying didn’t have any profoundness or depth. Angrily you let go, coming to the conclusion there was nothing interesting in this guy, and particulary nothing interesting for you.

Weeks passed. He had invited your brother to play FIFA on his XBOX in his room, but never talked to you or Cynthia more than necessary. You hadn’t exchanged 10 sentences by the end of one month, and after a while you gave it up. He had a few pals from his classes that came over once in a while, and he even came home very late twice, so you guessed he took part in student social life by his own, being to partys and stuff, probably having made other interesting acquintances. You hadn’t made any effort to get him to notice you in any way, but you just stopped caring.

That’s why you missed that he indeed looked at you one or two times in the kitchen. That he started to look at you when you talked to Cynthia or your brother or other friends you had invited over. In fact, there were many movie nights you hosted since you had this big flat TV and other students couldn’t even afford a proper fridge. Antoine started to laugh at your jokes or when you were doing something silly to amuse the people. He, indeed, started watching you intensely. More intensely than the others.

You only came to notice his stare in exactly that moment you were telling a story a group of people in the kitchen at a movie night. You were preparing popcorn in the microwave and you just made a joke about how you had thought as a kid that popcorn didn’t have anything to do with actual corn and that you had made the discovery only recently, and it had been as if you had entered a whole new dimension in the matrix. You noticed his stare, Antoine was casually leaning at the kitchen counter, one hand in his sweatpants, the other on the beer bottle. Your  face instantly turned red, at least that was what you felt - your cheeks caught fire and there was nothing you could do about it. You tried to finish your point and rushed down the story, leaving the rest of the group a little confused by that abrupt ending.

While the others moved to the living room with the popcorn, you poured yourself a large glass of wine and took a deep sip. You had almost made a fool of yourself, just because this handsome and cocky footballplayer had watched you. You had to be more careful with your thoughts. Didn’t you use to say you had standarts? But did your guts have standarts? You knew, your mind wanted someone smart and classy and interesting. So why did your stomach drop like several floors down at the sight of his stare?

“So we’re here drinking on our own, are we?”

You shrinked at the smooth voice behind you and quickly turned, just to see that it belonged to the guy you were thinking of a second ago. As if he knew he had caught you thinking of him, you blushed again.

“Just making sure the wine’s okay”, you managed to answer and, in a manner you thought to be both ironic and casual, you took another sip from your glass.

“Hmm, may I?”, Griezmann said and reached out for your glass. He took a sip, pointed his lips in an hilarious way and swallowed. “Oh, not bad. Not bad at all. I presume it is dated by the time of Louis XIV himself, for it makes the sun shine on your face.”

You snorted with laughter. “Is this a quote from Shakespeare or something or did you just come up with that yourself?”

With a smirk on his perfect face, he handed you back your glass. “Which possibility would make you think higher of me? Probably the quote, as you’re constantly reading. And what’s your subject again? Philosophy?”

“It is”, you admitted. “But I embrace far more an original new thought, because it’s proof of creativity and independance of thought.”

“Really? I thought you dind’t like new things?”

You blinked. “How come you think that lowly of me?”, you asked and took another nervous sip out of your glass, while you intended it to look casually. He couldn’t be implying your aversion against the new TV or even himself? He couldn’t be that observing, could he? Or was it you that were so blind?

He grinned and watched you thoroughly. “I’m sorry. Maybe I drew the wrong conclusion.”

Now you were angry. Stupid boy, thought he could mock you, while in fact he was the ridicule.

“Maybe I’m just taking my time to judge”, you snapped. “And allowing myself to exclude new things from my life, if I regard them as being intrusive and un...conductive.” Without looking at him you walked past him into the living room, where the movie was already on. You squeezed yourself on the sofa next to Cynthia and tried to look at Orson Welles in “The third man”.

So it hadn’t just been you thinking low of Griezmann. It was him thinking low of you. And if he was thinking low of you, and you thinking low of him, that in fact made you a lot lower than him. A correct philosophical conclusion. 100 percent on that test, you congratulated yourself. But logic wasn’t helpful in that moment.

You looked at the entrance to the kitchen, where Griezmann stood leaning against the door frame, his eyes on the screen.

[souladventure]

What I learned during the Covid19 lockdown after losing my passion business.

Despite all the losses incurred because of this global cluster-fuck known as the COVID19 pandemic/lockdown, I've learned so many invaluable truths and realities that probably wouldn't have ever surfaced otherwise. Here are a few that i'd like to share with everyone so I could just get it out there for my own wellbeing and possibly help others in the process:

1. I learned so much about myself and how weak I am (or was) mentally. My heart and mind didn't fair so well when I lost so much and I'm still coping as I write this. I feel a lot stronger emotionally now after such a debilitating and humbling experience. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger I guess.

2. If you get into a business that’s directly related to a passion that brings you joy and purpose, brace yourself for the turmoil and negativity (that comes with any business) you will be introducing to this passion of yours. i.e. Surfing for me was all positivity until I had to start hiring friends and dealing with different groups who either saw me as a threat or just felt I was competition to them. I honestly just wanted to help an industry grow so every stakeholder involved, including myself, could flourish but I didn't expect a lot of people to hate on me for it. 

The good news is after a decade many of these haters became my friends again when they realized my efforts actually helped them and that I wasn't there to take anything away from them. Surfing is a huge part of my lifestyle and my relationship to the community is something I'd like to maintain as a positive zone instead of a cutthroat business arena. 

I'm happy to say that although I share the same passion for food and I am now committed 100% to this industry ("Tito Paolo's Inasal" est during lockdown May 2020), I'm not emotionally involved with anyone else in it and I would't care less if anyone hated on me.

3. Don't get into a business that relies entirely on the skills of only a very limited amount of individuals that aren't readily available or expendable. For this reason, i chose to close down Skwala Surfboards, a passion project i dreamt about since '99 and materialized in 2010, when the pandemic further burried me in debt. You will pay for this big time if the employees or partners who are the only ones who can perform the main operations of your business suddenly act up. (This was something I actually already knew even before the pandemic but because I was so passionate about it I still decided to continue. Now I’m facing the ramifications of being blinded by a grave emotionally driven decision).

I don't regret this tho because I still built something that was considered the best in it’s time and also established itself as the pioneer of a growing industry. This satisfaction doesn't stem from merely bragging rights but more so on the fact that I know that I can be the best at something I focus all my energy on. (I'm happy to say I have shifted this focus from surfboard manufacturing to food where I feel just as fulfilled and continue to grow and innovate.) 

You yourself have to be the best at providing the product/service of your business so that when the people you hire fuck up you can fire their asses and do it yourself. I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever learn how to shape a surfboard but I’m proud enough to say that I am the best beginner level surfing instructor and I make the best inasal.

4. Don’t expect your employees to make any extra efforts or sacrifices for you in times of crisis and prioritize your business in its entirety. Do not give more than you can afford no matter how desperate they are. They will never sincerely appreciate your gestures of kindness and generosity and you best expect that they will never return the favor! Your business isn't a charity and it's survival as a whole should be paramount. Sorry to say but in my experience the employees will never ever truly understand nor realize the value of their employer's survival. They will still slack with their work and expect the same salary despite the sales amounting to zero. And don’t be surprised when they fucking steal. That’s because they feel like its their right to do so (A common issue in third world settings). To top it off when everything is close to being dead they will still ask for backpay. Make sure you are prepared legally and financially for this. But don't you ever believe you have loyal employees who are willing to join you in the muck when the shit goes down. I wouldn't either so I'm not judging anyone with this statement and I'm eating up the losses. But except for those who stole...fuck them.

5. Learn to let go and do it sooner so as not to lose more than you really have to. If you think going through a breakup is tough, try losing your dream business. Make sure you are on point with calculating your losses and pull the plug as early as you can. Don't allow your passions to overcome your decision making. One of the first things my father taught me in business was "Never fall In love with your ideas" and I'm still kicking myself for not listening. What I can add to this is if you aren’t part of the lucky few whose passions just so happen to be highly lucrative businesses then instead "Do what your are good at over doing what you love! Because when you succeed at what you are good at you can do absolutely anything you want!" Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a rich kid or a Woke AF grass fed hipster.

6. Get work online. Start a vlog, a podcast, teach english or teach anything. Just take the steps to begin a career online because this is easily available and it's work from home safe. I'm only beginning to do this now and yes I'm gonna make a vlog or podcast interview about all of these things I mentioned above but only after I'm done sorting all my shit out.

That's all I have to say for now and I'm happy to also say that I've been moving forward with a more positive attitude lately. I'm stronger now and I only care about things that are valuable to my growth. I still deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis but this has reduced as I see new goals on the horizon.

I wanna thank all my friends who were there to drop a line and support me in even the slightest of ways when I most needed it.

I want to thank my Dad and family for being there no matter what. I'm crying now as I type this. Man, you don't know how much gratitude I have for you guys.

I also want to thank those who still stayed buddies with people who burned me in business. It allows me to know where to classify you in my internal contact list. (Facebook should have that...Friends list and Frenemies or Fake Friends, lol.)

I also want to thank God...yes I believe in you. Live Jesus in our hearts...Forever. Amen. 

[5-seconds-of-fuck-me-please]

I Do. (Post 1/2) (part 1 of ?)

Ashton.

"I just want a nice, normal guy to sweep me off my feet, and support my carmel vanilla coffee addiction. Is that so much to ask?!"

My best friend gave me an amused glance before dropping her gaze back towards her phone. I swear, that girl could hold two conversations face to face, surf facebook, and hold a buisness Skype call, all at the same time. A.D.D., they name is Rae.

"I've set you up on five dates so far, and you havent lasted longer then ten minutes with any of them," she countered. "So how about this...you tell me your dream guy, and I'll work off of that."

I sighed, tapping my foot nervously against the metal rung of the coffee shop table. I was always fidgeting. Whether it was shaking my foot, drumming my nails along the table, or pacing aimlessly around, I was always moving.

"I don't know," I sighed out on a breath. Picking up my iced vanilla, butterscotch, and chai latte, I took a sip before responding. "Dont you know anyone that actually has a life?"

Rae glanced up at me, cocking an eyebrow. "A life? Like, the other 5 were dead?"

I groaned. "The first guy had the ambition of a goldfish. Second guy wanted me to move into his mother's basement with him. Third guy was perfectly content to be a cashier th erest of his life and didnt want to even think about making more than minimum wage or he would loose government assistance.....shall I go on?"

Rae gave a throaty chuckle, causing three random guys to stop their conversations and look her way. She just had that way about her.

"Tell you what," she mused out loud. "Since the last five was a complete disaster, and I thought they would have been perfect for you, the next guy I pick will be the one who I think you'll hate the most. So.... Here's what I want from you. You pick what you want him to wear. You pick if you want flowers or not. And you pick the place to meet for drinks, dinner, movie...whatever. deal?"

I thought about it for a moment, the shrugged. "Fine. I want to come here. This coffee shop. No flowers. No expectations. I'll even pay for the both of our drinks. But he has to have a job. A good job. Or at least have a goal in mind," I amended.

Rae nodded. "Tell me more. Actually, tell me your dream. What's your fantasy date for this coffee. Close your eyes and describe the guy to me. What is he wearing. What does he look like. What is he drinking?"

I laughed, but saw the amusement in her eyes. Deciding to play along, I closed my eyes and tilted my head slightly back.

"White button down shirt with the sleeves rolled back a bit. Nice jeans, probably faded with a hole in the leg," I laughed out. "Gorgeous smile because he laughs a whole lot and has an amazing sense of humor. Eyes that are kind and sparkle. Shaggy hair that probably falls into his eyes...." I trailed off.

"Sounds like quite the catch," Rae laughed out on a breath. She sounded amused, which kind of worried me a bit.

I opened my eyes and glanced at her. "Why do you sound like you just ate a canary?"

Rae's eyes sparkled as she tried to suppress a smile. "I know who would be perfect for you, and...he should be here in about two minutes."

My jaw dropped to the floor. "What?! Theres no way you could have called someone and set it up so fast. You had this planned!" I shrieked. Not because she set me up, but because she didnt warn me.

I was dressed in my -I dont give a shit, today is my day off- clothes. A pair of faded dark grey sweatpants with a hole in the left knee, dark green jumper with a faded brand logo running down the arm, and hair unbrushed and tossed into a messy bun. Plus I was still wearing yesterdays makeup which had faded to a lovely raccoon inspired look.

"This wasnt a setup," she argued lovingly, tossing her hands up to her side quickly. "Swear it. You know i was meeting a few friends here today. One of them would be perfect for you."

I eyed her warily. "The so-called friends that are mysteriously out of the country doing something tha you refuse to tell me, along with their names? The ones who you are best friends with...yet I know nothing about, and we have been best friends since middle school?!" I mused, scrunching my nose up at the thought.

Granted, my and Rae are best friends for over 15 years now, but there was a random 2 year period where were were heavily into the party and drug scene. We kinda split ways and didnt talk for 2 years, then both of us, separately, decided to get our lives in order and somehow reconnected as if nothing had happened.

Strange how life works out.

"They aren't...." I trailed off.

"They were, " she nodded. "Not anymore tho. I used to hang out and binge with them tho. They cleaned their lives up as well. Just took them longer."

I nodded, glancing down at my almost empty iced coffee as I dragged my nails along the styrofoam, making patterns on the cup. "I'm willing to give it a go I guess. Coffee never hurt anyone, right?"

"Right," she agreed, glancing down once again to her phone to resume whatever multi-conversation she was having.

I didnt realize until a few minutes later that I was humming and singing along the the songs playing over the cafe speakers.

"Do you like this band?" She asked randomly, not taking her focus from her phone.

"Love them," I remarked, not really paying attention. "I just got their new album yesterday actually."

She made a small chuckle. "Let me guess then...you were always a guitar or lead singer chick. So.... Luke?"

I grinned, breaking my gaze away from all the pretty little designs my nails etched into my now empty coffee cup. " Usually , yes you would have been correct. And while he is hot, as is the othe guitarist...my heart lies elsewhere in the band."

"Bassist?" She chanced, finally placing her phone down and looking up. Her eyes darted over my shoulder, then came back to focus on my face. A grin broke out, smile so wide it reminded me of the Cheshire cat.

"Um, nooo," I drawled. "I actually seemed to be drawn to.....why the hell are you staring a time like that?!" I asked, breaking the conversation. "You look fucking creepy."

Her eyes seemed to dart over my shoulder again to where the cashier counter was, then back to me again. "So the drummer then?" She mused, not bothering to hide the grin. "You have a thing for the drummer?"

I continued to stare at her, trying to puzzle out what the hell was making her act so weird. "Yeah...?" I dragged out.

"Hmmm, and why would that be? I'm honestly curious. Usually you always go for the guitar rock-God type for looks."

I cocked my head to the side. "You really want an answer?"

Rae grinned again. Nodding her head emphatically. "Oh yes. Please, by all means."

I shrugged, taking the last small sip from my coffee. "He always seemed the most put together. Knows how to laugh, but always seems polite. Has an amazing voice, but would rather be in the background playing his heart out. And he gives out total Daddy vibes," I joked. "Plus, he is seriously hot. They all are in that band actually."

Rae burst out laughing, covering her mouth with both hands. I swear, tears started to form in her eyes.

I just stared at her. "Seriously Rae, what has gotten into you today?! What's so funny?"

Her eyes darted behind me once again, but this time she nodded. I didnt even have a chance to turn around to see what she was looking at before an arm snaking over my shoulder, placing a styrofoam cup in front of me.

"You can call me Daddy if you feel the need to, but I prefer Ashton on a first date," a voice said.

I closed my eyes tightly, slowly opening them as panic filled me. My eyes traveled from the coffee, up to a bare forearm dusted in dark golden hair, to a shoulder and chest that had a white button shirt...sleeves rolled back.

Damn, but did Rae tell him how to dress?

He smirked at my dazed expression, while Rae finally got herself under control. "I didnt tell him," she rasped out, still trying to hide the amusement as she spoke. " He really was randomly dressed like that to come here."

Ashton raised a brow as he pulled up a chair, leaning over to give Rae a quick one-armed hug before sitting on the chair backwards between us.

He reached over, palm up while smiling at me. "She did however, demand that I randomly walk in and order you a vanilla butterscotch coffee without even telling me your name, or why I was buying you one. I'm being set up on a date, I take it?" He questioned again, glancing to Rae for affirmation before looking back at me, then down to his still extended hand. "Do I get a name? Or should I introduce myself again?"

I shook my head, trying to snap out of the surreal experience going on. Placing my hand in his, I cleared my throat. "You're Daddy, right?" I smirked, trying to fight the blush rising on my face. God, but do I hope he can take the joke.

His face split into a grin, laugh bursting out of his lips. "I like her," he chuckled, looking over to Rae. " This one actually knows what a joke is."

I grinned at that as he looked back at me. "I take it that Rae has tried setting you up before as well?" I questioned.

He nodded, a faint smile still gracing his lips. "One girl who decided living in her car way her dream goal. One who only ate foods that were yellow. And one who wanted to be a psychologist because she didnt understand how people laughed or why we smile at things."

My eyes went wide. "Wow. And here I thought I had it bad with the guy who only showered on days it rained cause that's how the bathtub got refilled."

Ashton let out another bark of laughter, breaking eye contact to speak to Rae once again. " You suck at setting people up. You know that?"

She raised a brow at that, stopping her cup of coffee in mid air before she could take a sip. "Oh, so should I not have introduced the two of you?" She asked, feigning a look of hurt. "And here I thought you were getting along fairly well."

Ashton shook his head. "Are you kidding me? this girl is horrible! Wont tell me her name, wont call me by mine, and she laughs at everything I say!" He rambled out. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but he didnt stop looking at her.

"And he isnt the greatest catch either, " I added. "Eavesdropped a private conversation, assumed I wanted him to pay for something. I didn't ask for without asking me. And he wont let me go," I added, flicking my gaze down to our still entwined hands.

Rae nodded, a huge, fake sight escaping past her parted lips. " okay, I give up. Sorry to waste your time, Ash. I'll take her home and be back in a few minutes to catch up with you all. I assume the others are on the way?" She asked, standing up and motioning for me to follow.

Ashton shook his head. " They are on the way. But you cant take her."

Without warning, he turned and licked a wet line up my jaw. "I licked her. Shes mine now."

My jaw dropped open, but rae looked amused. "Are you gunna pee on her too?"

He turned to look at me finally, slightly swaying our hands back and forth. "Is that your kink?"

"What?! No! Why would you ask that?!"

He shrugged. "Well, I know you have a Daddy kink, just had to be sure."

"I do NOT have a Daddy kink!" I hissed out, trying to pull my hand out from his grasp. "And why the hell did you lick me?"

He was having none of it. Keeping hold of my hand, he slowly brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand before finally releasing his hold. "Cause I wanted to see what you tasted like. Vanilla, I like it." He winked.

"You do have a daddy kink," Rae interjected, laughing through her words. "I'm going to go get another coffee and grab 2 other tables for the guys. You two enjoy yourselves."

Ashton glanced at me before looking at Rae. "If I did that, we would be arrested and barred from this shop."

I think my heart stopped. Was I breathing?

"Mind if I go grab myself a drink?"

I blinked, trying to focus on his face once again. "Didn't you just order one while you were up there?"

He shook his head. "Only ordered yours. I wasnt sure if I wanted to stay once she told me she had a girl with her for me to meet."

"And now you are sure you want to stay?" I questioned.

He smiled. A sweet smile that lit up his eyes. "I think you are fucking perfect."

I blushed at that. "Yeah, right. Cause messy girl with raccoon eyes in your kink, right?"

He gave me an amusing look. "Like a guy in jeans and a white shirt is yours?" He retorted. A small sigh left his lips as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through a few messages. Once he found what he was looking for, he stopped and put the phone down on the table in front of me.

Raelyn- her fantasy sounds like you, in a white button down and a pair of worn out skinny Jean's. Just get your asses here!

Ash-and you are so sure I would like her? I sisnt agree to another date with your wacky high maintenance friends. They just want a sugar daddy.

Raelyn- shes sitting here in pajamas, messy hair, and yesterdays makeup. And she insists on buying our coffees every week. Still wanna pass her up?

Ash- ....be there in 5.

Raelyn- get her a butterscotch vanilla iced coffee.

Ash- thought she didnt want people to buy her shit?

Raelyn- then get it for me.

Ash- do I have to buy flowers or anything?

Raelyn- only if you want her to hit you with them.

Ash- I like her already.

I glanced up at Ashton, a small smile gracing my face. "So I guess it's my turn to buy you a coffee?"

He shrugged, swinging his leg back over the chair to sit down backwards on it once again. "If you insist. Pick whatever you think I would like."

I grinned this time. " whipped cream, cherries, and handcuffs?" I joked.

He beamed at me. "Nah, that's the second date. And woulsnt you know it....you already know what to call me then," he teased.

I laughed, walking away to get him a drink. I slid up alongside Rae, elbowing her in the side gently. "Are the other three coming?"

She smiled at me. "Yeah, be here any minute."

The barista asked up for our orders, while I pushed Rae's card back towards her. "I got them."

"That's 7 drinks you are paying for today," she reminded me.

"Glad your good at math," I remarked. "You can get the next round. And if they like me as a friend and we hang out in the future we can all take turns. If not, then I get to say that they are forever indebted to me. Win-win I say."

She shrugged, but didnt argue. "Fair play, that. I'll go shove the tables together and be back to help you carry them all."

But it wasnt her who came back over when the order was ready. It was Michael.

"HI," he practically yelled, squeezing me in a tight bear hug. "I'm Michael. Or Mike. Whatever."

"You seem overly happy to meet a stranger, " I laughed out, hugging him back just as tight before letting go.

"You made ashton happy," he shrugged, a huge smile on his face. "Anyone who can make his smile in the first few minutes of meeting him...especially lately, deserves to be treated like the fucking queen they are."

My brows shot up at that. "I'm a queen now. High praise. Does that make you the court jester?" I asked, handing him a cardboard tray with 4 drinks in it.

He grinned. "Sure. Anything else you wish me to carry, m'lady?"

I laughed and gave a curtsey. "Not at this time, good sir. Go forth and conquer the bistro que!"

Michael laughed, draping an arm across my shoulder while walking back to the now full tables. He set his 4 drinks down, then took one out of my hand and gave it to Rae before distributing the 4 he had.

"They're marked, and we all drink the same shit every time we go out," he explained. "The one you have is the only one I dont recognize so I assumed it is yours."

I shook my head and resumed my seat next to Ashton, with Luke next to me on the other side now. Michael and Calum were sat across from me. "Its for Ashton actually. He bought me my coffee and forgot to get his own."

"Trying to ditch her," Calum asked.

"Nope." Ashton stated. Simple. Direct. One word.

"Finally found a girl that will put up with your crazy-ass for longer than 10 minutes?" Like remarked.

"Gunna marry this one, mate," Ashton laughed out.

"Shit, you move fast," Michael snorted. "And here I was being engaged for over a year already. What am I doing wrong?"

"You actually asked your fiancee," Luke answered. "Ashton will just be standing in front of the magistrate with a blowup doll."

Everyone laughed, including me Ashton fake pouted, poking me in the side before lacing his fingers through mine. My heart gave a little flitter, but I didnt pull away.

"Come on, Love, you're supposed to defend our relationship!"

I chuckled. "Yes sir. Would you like to get married now, sir? I think I still have my old bicycle pump in my garage if you need it. And some duct tape in case your fiancee gets a hole."

He threw his head back and laughed, tightening his grip on my hand. Not hard, but in acknowledgment that it was a good laugh. "Fuck the lot of you."

"Damn, already cheating on me. And with three other men no less," I crooned, pouting my lips.

That caused another round of laughter.

"I think I'm in love with your girlfriend, " Calum huffed out. "She knows how to give back shit we dish out."

"Dont be hitting on my wife," Ashton fake growled. "I worked hard on this relationship!"

"Oh yeah? What's her name?" Rae jumped in, bemused laughter lacing each word.

A slow silence fell across the table, followed by abrupt laughter for everyone.

"Oh. My. God. You didnt even ask her what her name is yet?!" Michael bellowed, tears forming in his eyes. "I can see it now. The priest standing there like do you take this girl for your wife? And you being like, who's that?"

"Fuck all of you," Ashton gasped out through laughter again. "I'm gunna marry her one day and then shes gunna kick your asses for making fun of me."

I grinned, reaching over to poke my finger into his dimple. "Yeah? I'll kick their asses for you if you ask, darling." I agreed. "Just as soon as you get my attention and ask me. Oooh, right. You can't. Dont know my name," I beamed.

He threw back his head and chuckled. "Fuck you too, sweetheart," he remarked, leaning over to place a quick kiss to my cheek.

"Only if you scream my name out while you do," I joked.

"Fuck, but do I love a smart mouth," he agreed.

The conversation flowed easily. Two more rounds of drinks were bought over the course of a few hours, until the cafe was getting ready to close.

We all agreed to meet up next weekend, have enjoyed each others company and realizing the six of us were going to be amazing friends.

"Can we bring our girls next week?" Luke asked.

"Hell yeah " I agreed readily. "Me and Rae need all the help we can get against you four."

[acklest]

Why is your husband the most Iconic and sweetest person ever?! We(I'm confidently assuming that I'm not the only one) need to know more about him.

Oh, you may regret this. 

(If you’re squeamish about blood, you might wanna proceed with caution. I promise I’m not trying to be dramatic. There’s blood in this.)

He is iconic, at least to me. And he’s probably really only “sweet” to me. Also to the cat, but he denies this. To everyone else, he’s just a quiet sort of guy with a permanently “done” look on his face.

What he planned to do from childhood was join the US Navy, because his Dad had been in the Navy. He wanted to be a technician on a submarine.

As soon as he graduated high school, he went to talk to a recruiter, and got sent to take the ASVAB. His scores on that were great and he was willing to enlist for a long hitch. The recruiter was like “it’s not even my birthday.”

But he failed the hearing part of his physical, so his status was “disqualified recommending waiver.” He didn’t know that his hearing had degenerated from type 2 (moderate) to type 3 (severe). The eval was to see if he could hear all the comms with his headset cranked up to max without hearing aids (which he hated wearing anyway). When he missed some of the cues, he was fully disqualified. 

Then he had to figure out what his second choice for the rest of his life would be. Nothing really jumped out at him. He’d never really thought about it. But his family couldn’t pay for college, so he would need a job.

His best friend got him on as a cashier working the graveyard shift at a 24-hour gas station/mini-mart. During breaks, he looked over the course catalog from the local community college. He thought maybe he could do one of those non-degree cert programs, like becoming a welder or a mechanic.

A week before, a dude who had sued that chain of gas stations for damages from a personal injury found out that he wasn’t getting a settlement. He was across the street from the one where my husband worked. I guess lawsuit dude got enraged all over again, thought “I’ll show them”, and loaded the .22 he had in his jacket before heading over. 

My husband was behind the counter, where the liquor was, thinking he was dealing with just another drunk customer at 4-fucking-AM. When he turned to ask if he needed anything else, lawsuit dude shot him in the side of the face from about six feet away. The bullet wound its way through his jawbone and he instinctively reached up to his mouth because he felt loose bits of his teeth on his tongue. (Sort of a dark in-joke, when one of us asks the other about a day that had obviously not gone well. “Bad. Not gargling-my-own-teeth bad, but not great.”)

He would’ve spun around by then to take cover behind the counter, but the sound of the gunshot stunned him because he heard it perfectly. He was born deaf/hearing-impaired, so he’d always heard things a certain way, through a certain amount of… I don’t know, static, interference, fog? But this he heard perfectly and it stunned him. 

(“If their headsets went up that high, I could’ve joined the Navy.”) 

So he didn’t turn in time to miss the second bullet, which hit him in the chest from the same range. As he turned, the third one hit him in the side of his stomach. The fourth one hit him in the thigh, nicking his femoral artery. Then his best friend showed up to tag in for his shift, heard the loud noise, ran in to help like a moron. So the last thing my husband heard before he blacked out was his best friend screaming at the guy to stop, and then a few more gunshots after that. 

If a Jeep full of hard partiers hadn’t pulled up to get gas and ran next door to call 911, he’d be dead right now. Of course, lawsuit dude was hell and gone by then.

He woke up in the hospital ten days later, heavily drugged. He tried to talk but they had done something to stabilize his jaw so he couldn’t speak. He was in and out for a couple of days after that. 

A day or so later, the thoracic surgeon sat down and told him that he’d died a couple of times, and that they tried to get the bullet out of his chest, but it had ended up less than 4cm away from his heart, so it was too high risk. They would have to leave it in. He apologized for how wide the scar was from when they opened his chest, because they had to work so quickly.  When they brought him in, he was covered in blood, all over. His hair had matted together from lying in it until the EMT people got there. One of them told him later, “We saw the booze behind the counter and assumed a bullet had hit a couple of bottles of red wine.”

Not so much. 

His best friend had died in the ambulance on the way. 

There was two years of recovery, facial reconstruction for his jaw, lots of dental work, physical therapy, follow-up procedures, and so on. There was a court trial that dragged on and on. 

It hurt when he breathed in, it hurt if he laughed. It all hurt. He’s a big dude, 5'10, shaped kinda like Wolverine (comic Wolverine, not Huge Yakman Wolverine). His health had always been good. He said he felt like he was being punished for not appreciating it enough while he had it. Up til all that, he’d been a devout Catholic, but that burned away real quick. He says that the 18 year old working at the mini-mart was a different person than the one who got wheeled out of the hospital a couple of months later. He didn’t know that guy.

He spent the next ten years on what I call a Chuck Norris tasting tour, where he was likely suicidal but not aware of it. He survived two terrible motorcycle accidents, a spectacularly failed marriage, he was thrown off a horse and hit the ground with a thud about 30 feet below, and then a drunk driver plowed into the back end of his car at top speed and he ended up ass over tea kettle in a ditch.

A few months after that, he started having terrible chest pains. He thought it was just pain from the impact with the steering wheel, which broke a couple of ribs. But when it kept going even after his ribs had healed, he went back to the hospital. The impact had shook stuff around and now the bullet was moving closer to his heart. Moving very very slowly, but yeah. So they had to open him up again to get it out.

(“Would you like to keep it?”

“…What?”

“Some people like to keep the bullet.”

“Uh. No. Thank you. I think a decade’s enough.”)

Fast forward to ‘98. I was a year or so off of a devastating event/blue screen of death thing of my own. I had a baby that I had never planned to have because I wussed out of the adoption process (I’m not saying I regret that, I’m just saying). I was on a little death-seeking tour of my own, when some mutual friends pushed us together. I do not know why. Maybe because we were the same amount of “over it.”? Maybe to take us both out of the dating pool at the same time, thereby making it safer for everyone? “You know someone who’s a walking disaster? Me too!”

The wheels almost fell off the wagon a couple of times. He told me he loved me and I didn’t talk to him for a couple of months. He sent me an instant message that said, “I am not playing Peter Gabriel outside your goddamn window. Get the fuck over this.” The age gap (22 years) made him pull away a bit there for awhile, but we didn’t need any Peter Gabriel for that shit either.

Nothing really surprises him or catches him off guard. This sort of weird Midwestern Zen thing that I don’t really understand because I’m kind of the opposite. Our communication is weird because neither one of us talks about anything that’s really bugging us, but we kind of talk around it.

I asked him to marry me a few years after we’d moved in, and he said “I don’t know, the last one didn’t go too well.” (A charming understatement.) I was cool with that. I was like… 83% cool with that. Almost a year later, while we were watching a movie, he turned to me and said, “Yeah.“ 

A YEAR later. 

“Yeah?” Like I would fucking know what he was talking about.

“I’ll marry you." 

"About time. Would you say that you were trying to decide the entire year or was it more of an on-and-off thing?”

“Oh, fuck off." 

Anyway – courthouse, Vegas, etc.

What I need you to know about him, more than anything, are these three things: 

1) When one of my family members (an uncle I didn’t know well) showed up to threaten the two of us, he quietly took that man by the arm and walked him out to the parking lot. I was watching from our doorway. I thought I was about to see him rip the guy’s head off and go bowling.

I didn’t see him make an angry face. I didn’t hear him raise his voice. It was a quiet conversation, and then that man backed away, got in his car, and left. That was 15 years ago, and I haven’t seen him or heard from him since, though I got a letter from my biological mother the week after, asking what kind of psychopath I was living with.

Still no fucking clue what he said, though.

2) His idea of asking me to move in with him back in ‘98 was to start replacing the furniture in my apartment with new furniture, but leaving that new furniture at his apartment. "Got you a new desk." 

"I have a desk.”

“Your desk isn’t gonna go with the chair.”

“What chair?”

“The chair I bought you last week.”

“You bought me a chair last week?”

“Yeah, come over and look at it.”

As near as I can tell, his plan was to slowly replace all of my furniture but keep it at his apartment and to slowly move me in a box of things at a time until I was like “Wow, all my stuff’s over there.”

3) When little kids ask him about the inch-wide scar from his collarbone all the way to his navel, with a narrower scar on top of that one from the second surgery, he tells them that he was shaving with a straight razor and suddenly sneezed really hard.

[wackywriterwhowriteswhenever]

I'm requesting you answer all the even numbers for the personal ask!

Whew! Sorry for the delay. I was waiting to get to this when I had access to Wi-Fi that’s not just on my phone because answering all of these would take forever on my phone or iPad. 

2. Is trust an issue for you?

It can be. I don’t trust all that easily because of betrayals in my past. However, I like to believe the best of people, so I am willing to trust. It just might take me some time.

4. What are you excited for?Today specifically, I’m excited to eat turkey (Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!). But aside from that, I’m excited to start on my Byeler/Reddie/Freebat Christmas/Holiday/Winter themed one-shots next week! Although I’ve certainly enjoyed writing Shipboard Romance this month, it’ll be nice to work on other writings and not have to think about one story all the time!

6. Is confidence cute/sexy?

I mean, sure. I’m not one for finding folks sexy, but someone who has confidence is certainly awesome to see.

8. The last time you felt broken?

When I was unemployed two years ago and was having trouble finding a new job. Every day felt bleak from summer until late October because there were hardly any jobs in my field and I was feeling super discouraged. Believe it or not, Stranger Things Season 2 helped pull me out of that funk. And little did I know it at the time, but two months after the premiere, I’d be starting at the job where I still am today.

10. Are you starting to realize anything?

I’ve started to realize that sometimes you just have to let the past go. As much as it affects you and has hurt you, sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and walk away from it. It’s not easy and it’s not pretty, but it can be super helpful in the long run.

12. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

No. My eyes are hazel and tend to look more green/more brown on certain days. My Dad’s eyes are more blue-gray.

14. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Nothing because I’m not attracted to anyone and I don’t have any crushes. 

16. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Well, I don’t date period, but if I did, I would find it difficult to be with someone who doesn’t make me laugh. I think if someone doesn’t make you smile and laugh, then you probably aren’t a good match with them.

18. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Yes. I think everyone is deserving of a second chance. We all make mistakes and we’re all human. People need to learn from their mistakes while also not being destroyed by them. Obviously there are extreme exceptions, but for the most part, I say everyone deserves a second chance after making a mistake.

20. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

One of “those” people. Trying to make me feel bad are we? ;) But to answer the question, yes. I rarely ever drink soda. I’ve always been a huge water drinker. Even when I was a kid eating at restaurants, I’d always order water.

22. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I don’t think so. I’ve never felt it personally. It might be true for other people, but I don’t think it would be true for me.

24. Do you tan in the nude?

I don’t tan at all. Does that answer the question?

26. Do you sing in the shower?

Occasionally. I don’t do it that often, but I have been known to jam out in the shower. Usually in the shower I end up daydreaming, which causes me to forget if I’ve washed my hair yet.

28. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Not professionally, but I have. I took some archery lessons at various Boy Scout summer camps back in the day. Wonder if I’m still any good at it!

30. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Police officer (lol) and teacher are the ones I remember the most. When I was a teen, I wanted to be a journalist and I did that for a decade. I’m happily retired from news life now and I have absolutely no desire to return to that career. Way too much stress and too small pay.

32. Take a vitamin daily?

Yes. I take a fish oil vitamin every day in order to help with cholesterol levels.

34. Ever take dance lessons?

Does gymnastics count? I did gymnastics for a hot minute when I was in like the sixth grade to help with my flexibility in karate. 

Though now that I think about it, I did attend a square dancing thing a few years ago and they gave me a lesson in it before I got to dance, so I guess that counts.

36. What is your favorite book?

Oh geez, that’s like asking me who my favorite child is. I have so many favorite books! I can narrow down my favorites to the Harry Potter series; Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult; The Fault in Our Stars by John Green; To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee; Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli.

38. Tea or coffee?

I like both! I tend to drink tea a little more. I used to drink a lot of coffee when I was in college but since I’m not sleep deprived like I was in college, I don’t rely on it as much.

40. Ever won a contest?

Yes, I have. I did a beauty pageant thing when I was about three months old and got a trophy out of that. But a more recent contest came two years ago. I won the copy editing contest at a collegiate journalism event I was at with the staff of my college newspaper. I had received third place and second place the two years before it and it felt good to get first place. What was hilarious was them misspelling my name on the certificate (adding an S to my last name). I think they were trying to define irony by having a misspelled name on an award for a copy editing contest!

42. Best room for a fireplace?

If a house has a library, that’s the place to put it. There’s nothing like reading a book by a warm fire!

[omegangrins]

The Hateful 8: Chris Mannix was made the Sheriff of Red Rock by his siblings so they could kill him from a distance.

Tl;dr: Due to his intelligence, mouth, and aspirations, Chris Mannix "was" appointed Sheriff of Red Rock via a sham election organized by his siblings so they could kill him anonymously from a distance.

I love the ambiguous nature of Walton Goggin's character Chris Mannix in The Hateful Eight. A man who joined his father and family to ransack towns in order to inspire fear for the Confederacy, dying by the side of the type of person he hated most. All whilst claiming to be a lawman. And it's always made me wonder if he was telling the truth or.... not really actually. I always thought he was telling the truth. Cause he never lies throughout the whole movie. In fact, he catches several people in lies (Marquis, Gage, Daisy). There are even several times where he refers to himself as a Sheriff believing that he will live to carry out his threats. He's either an excellent actor with his own side game in this movie, or he truly believes what he says is true.

Here's where things get subjective and I don't have a lot of information on (Part of why I'm putting it out to the world.). There's a line by John Ruth where he says that Chris is Erskine Mannix's youngest boy. Now here's where you can imply a few things. We know he's not an only child definitely not one of two sibling, or Ruth would refer to Chris as "the other one" or some such. And he says youngest boy so we can infer that Erskine had daughters. Meaning that if this is a regular Carolinan family from the 1800's, they would have as many kids as possible. Low ball estimate of 2 girls and 4 boys. But enough of them to dislike the little one.

Now let's look at Chris. If he's the youngest of the family then one could infer that he's had the hard life. Almost a runt in the litter type. But he's a man who values dignity and true leadership. Both traits of honest men. Then if we take what he says about being Sheriff to be true, he also never tells a lie, makes a deception, or attempts to hurt/kill anyone preemptively (at least any one that hadn't already tried to kill him 😄). He even realizes his tongue is getting him into stupid trouble on the stagecoach so he shuts down the conversation and apologizes for his getting riled up. Clearly a man that understands the rules of society and is happy to play by them. Yet still an honest man nonetheless.

His honesty can even be seen in his dissemination of other people's lies. It takes him less than 15 minutes after learning of Marquis' letter to realize it was a fake, and he didn't even have to read it. All he did was add up the pieces of Major Marquis Warren he knew. Joe Gage he more or less guessed/used instinct. But, he figured out that all of what Daisy Domergue said was bullshit the same way he figured out Warren's letter was shit: character context clues. So, he's great at spotting lies. This will come in later with the family bit.

This is what makes me think about this the most though. He always refers to himself as the new Sheriff of Red Rock. Not just in greetings but in negotiation stances and regular interactions. When Mannix meets John Ruth and Co. and Ruth asks for his badge, Chris tells them that if they're bounty hunters, it's him they're taking their dead bounties to. And when John Ruth refuses to let him board without manacles, Mannix tells O.B. that he will be legally obliged to inform the Marshal at Red Rock that Ruth left the new Sheriff to freeze without assisting him. A similar thing happens when they reach the Haberdashery. When Marquis draws his weapon on Sanford E. Smithers, and Oswaldo Mobray's reminds him that he'll hang in Red Rock if he does. Mannix steps next to Smithers and reaffirms that he will make sure that Marquis will hang, seeing that he is the new Sheriff and all. In fact, one of the first things that Chris does is interact with the person he believes to be Red Rock's new hangman. Going so far as to ask if he can see the hanging papers for the man who shot the Sheriff that Chris is replacing. He even cordially chats up with Oswaldo, reasoning they'll be working together soon.

And finally, near his deathbed, with no one to care, he declares his "first and final act, as the Sheriff of Red Rock" is to have Domergue hanged. A rather strange moment to commit to a lie, if it were one. Especially considering Marquis lets him read the faux Lincoln letter minutes letter. Sure seems like the perfect opportunity to confess all of one's lies and yet Chris stays quiet. So we can assume that he meant what he said. Or at least, he thought it was true....

This is where the Mannix family comes back into play. We learn during bits of dialogue throughout the movie that Erskine Mannix led a team of Confederate rebels known as Erskine's Marauders during and after the Civil War. It can be implied that the entire Mannix family was apart of this, since it's said their numbers reached around 400. So of course Erskine's kids would hop on this hate train. Chris says as much when talking about fighting under his father's command. Erskine Mannix held the Marauders together after the war with nothing but his command and respect. In fact, it's one of the things Chris most admired about his father. You can tell he looked up to his daddy.

Now I get into the extrapolating subjective era. Remember what I said about the number of kids? Call it 6 kids for Erskine with Chris being the youngest but probably smartest. Several characters also bring up that Erskine died recently. So this leaves a power vacuum. It's probably one of those situations like in the stagecoach where he can run his mouth a bit too much, or like he does with Ruth and Warren, use legal leverage to gain an upper hand. (If this was Game of Thrones, Chris would be a Tyrion type character. Good natured, hated, but bloody good at playing the game.). He's a player that needed to be shut up. I'd wager there came a time after/before Erskine died where Chris wanted more power in the family. He started to exert influence and amass bits of power, becoming more politically dangerous. Sort of like Fredo.

Seeing this, his brothers and sisters decide to hatch a simple scheme to kill him one of three ways. First, they pay a man to kill the Sheriff in Red Rock (I imagine as Marauders they would have plenty of cash. Look at Chris, he ain't dressed in rags.) and bribe public officials to rig the election so Chris becomes Sheriff. They do this in order to make it seem authentic to the already established sharp-eyed Chris Mannix. With the hard part done, next comes the killing. The first death they set up in Red Rock along with the previous bribing. All it takes is finding someone else *also* willing to kill the Sheriff. That way when Chris comes to town, he suffers the same fate as the Sheriff before him. Second way is by horse. This is closer to conjecture but Chris doesn't seem to have the attachment to his horse that Marquis did. Meaning either that it wasn't his horse, it was but he didn't care, or that no one asked him so that's something about him we'll never know. What it could mean though, is that he was given a lame horse without his knowledge. Third thing is the blizzard. It's a long distance from Wyoming to Red Rock. And a blizzard that large would have signs that would be spottable even back then. So he was sent into a white hell on a lame horse heading to an eventual bullet. Sounds like a plan that we're not seeing all the pieces of. So if his family was planning to get rid of him and his overly smart and mouthy ways, they had set up several opportunities to have it done.

Final weird thing to think about. There is a complaint that The Hateful Eight title doesn't work numerically with the characters we are given and their backstories. To that I would add that it does. I think O.B. and Mannix are the two odd "good" guys out, either with integrity or by not trying to actively hurt anyone in the story. Everyone of the main characters tries to kill other people in cold blood, and only O.B. and Mannix shoot no one, or wait until they are shot at. And if you include his telling the truth to himself that he is Sheriff, then he and O.B. are the only "pure of heart" ones.

In the end, Chris was telling the truth and also unknowingly lying. True that he'd been made Sheriff, and a lie that he would stay that way for long. He's the best of both worlds. The greyest of grey characters.

[the-firebird69]

It took over 10 Banks today and we took over two of the three big ones and fully and they're still pouring at us and we're eliminating them and we think by tomorrow they'll be petered out and we'll have spurts of it but banking is going along as usual till we run along into an a****** who wants to take out more than he has the third Bank is Citibank it's been a little tougher it's not because he fell on the grass and they wanted to think that it's because they have a lot of assets so we are seeking to grab their assets and we're doing it legally and we're suing them for it and they're losing the lawsuits we have a legal right to the land because they're holding our son's money it's about 1 trillion dollars and the land is worth about $500 billion and they're not paying so we're confiscating it but 500 billion dollars worth of land to you guys doesn't seem like that much but really it's a rural areas and the acreage is cheap even though it's valuable and and it's about 700 million acres and we're going to own it tonight. We will of course see you soon because we own your Banks and you're going to be begging to get them back and we're going to be shooting you here because you're all about money and you're stupid enough to force us to take the bags about half of you will survive the night tonight will be gone tomorrow and Jason is going on a mission he's not returning and Dan and Dan is both guys by the way and these kids are also in the journey to Portland Oregon you're just coming here going in the car coming here and they look rather sick because they are but they're actually older and yeah they're Jason and Lily and they ain't going to make it no they die and they come back and they do some more shows gravity and they do Star wars and in between it's Tomorrowland and aliens and Prometheus and covenant very important and Independence Day part of it already happened but Independence Day one and two and there's a whole slew of alien movies that begin and Pacific rim and Pacific rim 2 starts from the events that are happening here now and we are going to raise the kju shortly to find her a bunch of b******* artists and you don't know anything and I'm going to raise them as soon as we can and he's going on the trip pretty soon and he's going to own this place anyone have to put up with you two idiots and he plans on renovating it that's what we're saying and raising it up too well he's in a campground no it's going to rent a house, okay if he gets money he might move but right now he doesn't have the money to if he gets a little money he's going to move but five million is enough to move yes and he can manage a house and he can have some rent even Ken can rent he stays to himself most of the time and our son would put in things for him like a motorcycle garage and other things and he can live his own life doesn't have to be answering to our son this is bogus here you guys don't have real lives in your retards and you're sick and your rulers are dumb and lost everything to the retards that you're with it's vulgar

Ken lost family just as our son did. His idea to build and sell go karts probably just buy them from China and assemble them but okay

Here we go too he's up for stupid ideas and their son has tons of them

There's a lot of work the banks are a lot of working was still at it and remaining them up a lot of people are leaving and not even bothering getting fired so things will be overwhelmed and it's Big blocks to them too and they're going to the battlefronts of their choice most of them are fighting clones you'll have to wait 2 weeks so the laughing that's good and we're having a lot of fun 10 people approached us now this massive numbers and we're keeping the bank accounts and we keep them open for people and this is an outrage outrageous lifestyle right here. It's getting to work we taking over tons of businesses we have every oil company except for mobile and shell they're two giants though and they're not willing to let go because they need to feel their ships to fight Tommy f no one of them is Tommy f and that is mobile the other is Mac which is shell and yeah Tommy f to outlawed him from that place on Kings highway.

We're now Manning up and we are going to take care of business around here there's a huge number of people who are asking for it and they're gigantic assholes including the neighbors these people are pukes and losers okay he's got a sour face in the shower time and a big mouth screaming and yelling at his kids and he has another one of those crazy wives this is going to be hell possibly and we don't want to go anywhere so we're going to shut it down if the stupid crap starts up again John rima Lord s*** and it's the number of the house too so they're going to be trying to do it it might not be able to or they might not bother because of what happened with John remillard and they don't think it's the greatest thing and losing the banks is another issue they have. We took over a huge businesses some of them he really likes Chevy and Hera loves Ford and they enjoy the boat companies they like making boats and they like boating she likes scuba diving and she does it and he likes scuba diving but wants better gear and they have better gear and he loves dirt biking she loves it a lot she loves to go in the four wheeler the one that's a little car with one person she says it sounds cool and yeah we have these little four wheelers with these big huge tires and they have a lot of horsepower and have one person and it's about 20 in off the ground for the rider and it is very fast goes about 90 and it has attributes of a car and some people try to register it doesn't pass but boy is it a lot of fun in the dirt and off-road on trails it does just about everything it's two-wheel drive the rear wheels and it's super fast and handles very well and the shocks go real far and the independent suspension it is just a wonder and tons of people love it it used it's like what the Honda Odyssey was supposed to be with the Odyssey turned out to be slower small not fast enough and it's not like what this is like this is like a small sand rail and it performs like a sand rail as a matter of fact is as fast as a lot of them but it's shaped better for a lot of different types of riding especially trail riding you can turn around pretty quick pretty tight almost on itself and it is fast and it is wonderfully it handles wonderful she loves it she drives it up there tell all these toys and they have a company that sells those here too people are buying a ton of them tonight we're going to ship them in and start selling them there's a bunch of products that they buy here one of them is the hard knock kicker 5150 Enduro for the ocean side for real they love the look it's an old look it's a it's a British look and they're going to use it and they're going to buy them and they're going to rent them they're going to put some shops in

And there's tons of businesses that we bought we need more people to sign on and volunteers and we need them now

Tonight's huge there's a huge movie stars huge genre massive battles in a war at sea and they'll be ongoing war on land over the banks for several days and it's going to subside it usually does they realize they can access their money but the head honchos will keep fighting and they'll be gone that's what we noticed that they won't give it a break and they're going to constantly be at him until they're gone she left with people who are not head honchos and really their money is kind of fake it's so huge it doesn't really mean anything it's not tied into businesses anymore so there really these bums that you see here before you.

They're going to try and use their money and people are not going to honor it and we're not going to

We're coming tomorrow with a huge team know we're coming in tonight with a massive team I'm going to have it some huge bases we built and it's going to be better and tomorrow we're coming in with buildings it's Friday we have about 20 buildings to go in and these people next door not going to be here Stan's going to move their stuff out and put it on the street and people are going to pick it up they're told not to do it and it's going to move dans stuff out too

Thor Freya

I like my boys to and girls to get together and Hera with Thor Freya to make sure it happens because they're getting tortured as well as I but a little bit more and I know you are too and we need to solicit some help to get some permanent team members here assigned from others not necessarily us higher ups but we need to have some team members assigned to get this done and get these idiots out of here and the ones here are priority and across the street and thank you

Zues Hera

You're welcome and we're going to get to it we do like what you're saying please and thank yous always help and it's good and we're going to ask for them to provide team members and we're going to have a strike teams made and we're going to ask for troops and so forth when we need it and we thank you for your help

Savage opress

Darth maul

We have a lot to do and this is helpful this idea and a lot of people want to volunteer and we need people for permanent duty and to run the thing and we are going to assign it to people and we'll call it a strike team that's what it is and it's going to be huge and we're going to start getting it going now it's very helpful and take a lot of stress off us it's too picky you into work and these people I spent and they need to be tended to all the time have tenders

Olympus

[cerullos]

Hi! I'm not sure if anyone's asked you this before, but I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about your experience with the disney college program, like the application process and the role you were in and everything? I'm really interested in applying for next year but it's all a little overwhelming and it would be really awesome to hear from someone who's actually gone through it! Thanks so much!!

i had a college program tag, so if i had it would be in there but i think that tag ended up being mostly…casual day-to-day text posts rather than useful information about the program lmao. but yeah! i’m actually planning to apply again soon (applications for spring 2018 drop in mid-late august). there’s the application for the general disney college program, the culinary program and then various applications for professional internships. the regular college program will place you in a $9-10/hour minimum wage job (merchandise, attractions, lifeguard, etc.)  but professional internships are higher-paying, much more selective more like typical internships (roles at team disney and other office buildings on property, or career-specific roles like research development or marine biology at epcot). you’re allowed to apply for multiple professional internships on top of the regular college program (they suggest applying for no more than three iirc) and that’s probably what i’ll be doing this summer.

this will probably be very, very extremely long because…there’s a lot but skim as needed! 

professional internships require all the usual tedious prep-work (updating your linkedin, resume and cover letter, an application screening process and two phone interviews) but the general college program is a lot less rigorous! you get guaranteed housing, complimentary transportation, and free admission to the parks either way. applying for the regular college program is basically a three-step process. when the applications drop (in late august) you’ll fill out your basic information (personal information, work history, etc.) and they’ll also ask you to weigh your interest in each role. you can choose between “high interest,” “medium interest,” “low interest” and “no interest at all,” and if you genuinely don’t feel capable of performing a certain role or just don’t want to do it, mark “no interest at all.” they make a genuine effort to place you in roles you marked with high/medium interest, but if it’s a short-staffed season, they can assign you to a role you’ve marked “low interest.” that being said, imo try to avoid assigning “no/low interest” to too many roles, because a) it gives them fewer opportunities to place you and b) it makes it look like you care about yourself more than disney…not to be wild but disney Does Not Like That one bit. 

pretty much everyone is passed onto the second step which is the WBI (web-based interview) but this is where you need to be…careful. if you’re nervous, i would recommend searching “dcp web-based interview” on youtube, google, etc. for an idea of what you’ll be asked. if you’ve worked minimum wage retail jobs before, you’ll probably have seen something similar (i took a web-based interview to work at macy’s and it was somehow even worse than disney’s) but it’s basically gauging a) your competency (not w/ a specific role but just like: if a kid gets hurt, what do you do? if a guest complains, how do you respond?) and b) how much you value the opportunity/how hard you intend to work (like: do you mind working late hours? do you mind working holidays and weekends?). people will tell you to be honest…um. do not. literally no one wants to work christmas day and new years eve (i worked both), but saying that makes it look like you don’t care. a friend of mine attended a lecture during our program and someone involved in the application process basically confirmed that no one actually expects you to be honest…it’s a test of loyalty to the company. i was also told that if you fail the application process 2-3+ times and keep trying, they’ll automatically admit you because you’ve shown how much you care about disney…showing enthusiasm for and commitment to disney is literally the #1 thing they’re looking for. they’ll train you in how to do your job on site. 

the third step is the phone interview and it’s pretty typical of phone interviews, if you’ve ever done one before. i’ve actually done it twice (i got into the program earlier but had to decline the first time for personal reasons) and your interviewers are usually very friendly and patient…the whole thing lasts 10-15 minutes at most. again, you can google and youtube search “dcp phone interview” and find a list of the exact questions you’ll be asked. i’d recommend looking each of them over and getting an idea of how you would answer, but don’t type it out and read off a paper. you want to sound personable/cheerful/etc. (more so than in your average phone interview) and it’s worth being less than eloquent or stumbling a little here and there if you can stay smiling throughout the conversation. in my exp. they’ll start by asking general questions about your interest in the program (why do you want to do this program? how does the program relate to your area of study? are you comfortable living with multiple roommates?) with some one-offs thrown in like “what’s your favorite disney character?” then they’ll segue into asking you jobs about specific roles…usually 2-3. these are the roles they’ll be considering you for (like, if they start asking you about your experience with a video camera, you’re being considered for photopass. if they start asking you if you’re comfortable with public speaking, you’re being considered for attractions). at the end, they’ll ask you if you have any questions, and it helps to have one prepared (again, pretty general phone interview procedure). you can also request placement at specific parks or resorts at this point, but don’t expect a guarantee. 

re: housing, if you’re going alone, i would say to make a facebook if you don’t already have one (you’ll use it for trading shifts during the program anyway), join some DCP groups for your class and hook up w/ people to room with. they’ll ask you to rank the dorms in order of most to least interest…imo just put vista way last lmao. 

imo, it’s worth knowing going into this that the workload is no joke…you get a week or so to settle in, but once you’ve attended traditions (a 5+ hour lecture where you’re given your ID card and taken into magic kingdom for the first time) they’re going to load your schedules with lectures, basic training, disney history (subtle brainwashing tends to come with the territory w/ these) on the job training, and then you start work. while i was there, you were able to trade shifts either for a different day or for a free day, but i have two friends on campus now and they told me you can’t trade for a day off anymore w/o a leader’s permission b/c too many CPs were missing rent (they take your rent $$$ right out of your paycheck) so you’ll be working 5-6 days a week, and like i said, they absolutely will schedule you to work holidays. you can call out but there’s a points system (i won’t get into that) so you need to be careful when and how often you do. 

anyway…i was chosen to be a lifeguard which was a disaster. disney’s lifeguards are ellis-trained, which means you need to swim eight laps to qualify, and then go through three days of physically intensive training. i was fortunate enough to get Extremely Fucking Sick mid-way through this training, and had to transfer jobs (job-hopping is very, very hard to do and discouraged, so i wouldn’t count on that; i was told right there on the phone that they would see what they could do, but i could potentially be dropped from the program). but they allowed me to choose my role and my location, so…i was kind of spoiled. i was adlib (adventureland/liberty square) merchandise in magic kingdom. i loved my job very much, and i’m desperately hoping i get placed in magic kingdom again if i get in. i worked in all of the shops in lib square and adventureland (so like, the pirates of the caribbean shop, the shops in agrabah, the haunted mansion gift shop and the christmas ornament shop) (EDIT: i forgot to mention that one of the perks of merchandise is that you can pick up shifts at any store, across the parks, the resorts, ESPN and disney springs. so i’ve picked up shifts in most areas of magic kingdom and also hollywood studios; main street was my favorite place to pick up) but adventureland is in charge of the magic kingdom glow carts, and most of the college programs and younger cast members are assigned to glow carts 24/7 because we’re younger and it’s…a lot of work. this was a very specific outdoor/crowd-intensive role that you probably won’t be dealing with (they do have glow carts in all of the parks, so you never know!) but i adored it. i got to attend all of the christmas and halloween parties free, wear the christmas and halloween costumes, and watch all of the parades. i got to watch wishes every night (and occasionally celebrate the magic and other castle shows, if i was on main street or in the castle hub) and had lots of Magical Moments™ which you’ll learn about if you wind up in the program. 

this is absurdly long but there’s just…so much to cover it’s a little ridiculous. imo it’s a bit of a double-edged sword. if you do love disney/the parks, i really, super highly recommend doing this internship. if you’re not 100% up to your ears in childhood nostalgia for disney, the DCP will probably drive you up the wall from sheer, constant overexposure to all things disney. i left campus maybe one (1) time, for the orlando pride parade…i ate only at disney restaurants, talked only to other cast members (parks gossip and what fireworks shows are getting replaced with new fireworks shows, etc.), every single night out was at the parks. and i loved it but some…did not! if you do like it and want to continue, adding all of your cast members (especially leaders) on linkedin/facebook/etc. and keeping in touch with them is essential…i didn’t do that and i’m kicking myself for it daily. there are tens of thousands of cast members working at disney, and 10,000+ CPs alone…it’s an enormous community and it was a very strange thing to be a part of…sometimes very rewarding, sometimes exhausting! but if i was offered a free trip to wdw right now, i would feel weird about going because i feel weird about being there as a guest and ultimately valued my experience as a cast member so much more. so all that being said, i think it’s an experience worth having–again, if everything i’ve discussed here is your cup of tea. 

anyway, if you have any more specific questions i’m sure i could hit you up with a response of a much more reasonable length lmao. good luck, and if you’re planning to apply for 2018, i would definitely consider giving it a shot this august.