#I'm not going to waste the mental energy anymore

[violetlunette]

If anon had to name just one single concept that's damaged fandom culture more than any other, just one single concept that has caused so many of today's entitled fandoms like the Dabi fans, Toga fans, etc., it's "relatability". Most of us judge people based on their actions, but fandoms judge morality by Which Characters We Personally Relate To. Dabi fans relate to child abuse, so "only Dabi's pain counts". Toga fans relate to mental trauma, so "only Toga's pain counts". And so on and so forth.

I understand that it’s easier to sympathize with characters when you understand their pain and why they do the things they do, and why that understanding makes it easier to forgive. However, for me there are some things that I can’t--and won’t—forgive. I sympathize with these two and feel bad for their pain, but that doesn’t mean their crimes were okay or should be overlooked.

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟏

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟕𝐤

↬ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐃𝐃/𝐋𝐆 (𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝟎𝐦/𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥) 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

The buzzing of your phone on the nightstand wakes you up from your dreamless sleep and just as you're about to move around to turn your alarm off, you're reminded of the strong arm around your waist as it pulls you further into the warm chest pressed into your back.

It's only then that you remember how and who you fell asleep next to, a cheeky smile creeping up on your face as soon as the realisation hits you.

Jongseong is still in bed with you. On a weekday.

To your surprise, he's not only still in bed with you but seems to be peacefully asleep, something you're not quite used to when it comes to your hardworking boyfriend.

In the back of your mind you had hoped that he'd stay, especially after a night like yesterday's, yet for some reason you didn't allow yourself to indulge in those hopes, as you were too scared of them being empty yet again.

It doesn't take much longer for more images of the previoos nught to sneak into your head, but for the first time in your life you know you won't let them win no matter what.

You haven't fell asleep and woken up next to your boyfriend in weeks, there's no way you're going to let your anxiety and destructive brain take this away from you again.

There's so much to unpack about the whole situation about your brothers and the bodyguards, you know Jongseong will want to talk about, but you simply don't have the mental energy to waste on those men anymore. You've been fightem then alongside your mental demons for the past two decades and dor the first time in your life you just want to live a single day without thinking about them for once.

Of course this won't make them any less dangerous or threatening, but it will give you the temporary inner peace you need and mostly deserve.

So, determined to not waste any more of your energy on those stupid bastards, you let out a soft sigh and turn around in Jongseong's arms to bury your face in the crook of his warm neck, inhaling his sweet scent the way you did to fall asleep and enjoying every single second of this rare occasion.

Unfortunately you're very much aware of the fact that your second alarm is going to go off any second now as the both of you have to get ready for work.

"Jongie", you whisper against his soft skin and pull your head back to have a good look ag him, hating yourself and the universe for having to wake him up.

He hasn't slept longer than four hours ever since your trip to Jeju and you can't wait to basically kidnap him to a different city and just make sure that man finally gets the sleep him and his body need.

"Wake up, my love", you sigh and place a soft kiss on his chin, "we have to get ready for work."

The sweet sound of your voice gently pulls him into consciousness, something he has yet to get used to, especially after unintentionally depriving himself of it for so long. As your words slowly push their way through the sleepy fog in his head, Jongseong suddenly deicdes to adapt to a completely new routine just to wake up like this until his last day on this earth.

"We're both calling in sick", he suddenly grunts, his voixe deeper and raspier than usual, the sound so unfamiliar, it leaves you lightheaded and shoots a jolt of hot arousal right in between your legs.

"We can't just do that, pretty face", you say with a soft chuckle, hoping for the aching in your lower body to just disappear if you try to overplay it hard enough, "we have meetings and appointments with important clients today."

"Why not? I'm the CEO and owner of the company, they should be grateful I even considered giving them some of my precious time. They can wait a day or two."

Jay's words surprise you as much as they turn you on and you hate your body for betraying you like this. Today is probably just an exception yet you can't help but feel your hopes rising all the way to the sky.

You try to think of something to respond, but you're too mesmerized by the sight of a sleepy Park Jongseong. The way his hair is messily falling into his slightly flushed face, eyes hooded as they're getting used to the sunlight exposure, his pretty lips pushed into a cute little pout and his big hand gently caressing your back.

The longer you look at him, the more you fall in love with him and for a moment you forget whag the two of you were even talking about.

"Don't look at me like that, Baby or I'll make them wait a week or two", Jay teases softly, his hand now moving to your thigh as the other one remains underneath your waist, busy drawing random circles into your skin through the thin fabric of your camisole.

"Oh", you blurt when you realise how obviously you've been staring at him as embarrassment quickly takes over your body, "I'm sorry, Jongie, I didn't mean to. You just look really pretty when you wake up."

"My sweet little angel baby", Jay begins and pushes the bem of your camisole all the way up to your hips, exposing your bare thigh to his greedy touch so easily, "don't ever be sorry for eyefucking me with those pretty eyes. I fucking love seeing you so needy for me."

You're visible surprised at his response, forgetting that your boyfriend has always read your facial expressions as well as your bidy language quite easily and for some reason you can't help but feel even more embarrassed.

"What's going through that sweet head of yours, Baby? Why are you so hesitant?"

You nervously pull your bottom lip in between your teeth as a wave of shame overwhelms you, yet you can't really put a name on the reason behind it.

The past few weeks you've always been the one to initiate intimacy and after losing yourself in quite a few anxious thoughts the previous night, you can't help but let them win yet again.

You know Jongseong's been quite busy, nobody knows it as good as you do. However him not initiating anything these past few weeks has definitely made you feel anlot more insecure than you would like to admit, simply because it feels like he only does it for you and not because he actually wants it.

"I'm sorry for always being so needy", you whisper and bury your face in his neck, "I don't mean to push you so much."

Jongseong is flabbergasted, to say the least.

He's never expected this to be the reason for your change in demeaner and as the realisation hits him, he can't help but let okt a lighthearted chuckle.

"Oh, Baby", he sighs and reaches for your cheek to pull your face away from his neck and meet your glossy gaze, "do you really feel guilty for wanting me so often?"

"Yes", you don't hesitate with your response, too lost in the way he's looking at you with such sweetness and adoration, "you usually don't iniate intimacy and it made me realise that maybe you don't actually want me as often as I want you."

Yet again, Jongseong feels overwhelmed by your statement. Never in a million years could he have expected your thoughts to be as mean as this and as his eyes roam your soft face, his heart aches in his chest.

"And that's okay. I know I can be insatiable sometimes. I hope you know that doesn't mean I only want you for your body. You're so much more to me than sex, I just have a very high libido." Your voice is small and uncertain, filled with insecurity and self doubt, a sound so heartbreaking, Jongseong feels his chest tightening in despair.

"Come here, Baby", is the first thing your sleepy boyfriend replies before he pushes the blanket away from your bodies and guides you to straddle his lap.

You physically can't stop a tiny little gasp to leave your lips as you come in sudden contact with the hard bunge in Jong's boxer briefs, something you haven't felt this way in a lot longer than you thought.

It's not like the two of you hadn't fucked each other in the past few weeks, unfortunately there was never much time for any foreplay and it usually ended in a quickie which stilled your hunger for a few hours. Most of the time Jongseong made sure to have you fall apart on his fingers first followed by him doing just the right things with his cock to drive you into insanity. He also tried his best to give you just enough aftercare to help you regain your composure but you couldn't help but crave more. The lack of actual sensitivity in those moments was probably what resulted in your insatiable hunger for him and his touch.

Without missing a beat, you press your hands flat against his inked chest, caressing the soft skin and circling your hips without even realising it.

"My soft little angel girl", Jongseong sighs and starts kneading the soft flesh of your thighs in his hands, "I'm sorry for not talking to you about this more. Your silly little brain probably gave you such a hard time about this, didn't it?"

"Yes, Jongie", you sigh and look at him with needy, glossy eyes, a sight so pure, so beautiful, the young man has yet to get used to it's effects on his body.

"And is that the reason why you've been more hesitant about indulging in the whole Daddy thing lately, Baby?", he calmly responds as his eyes never once shift away from your face and where you feel like a kid being caught doing something they're not supposed to do, your boyfriend seems more than just amused by your responsive body language.

"I guess it is. But I promise I didn't do it intentionally."

"You're so fucking cute", is his instinctive response to your answer and with a soft sigh, you push your lips into a pout and let your hands find his on your thighs, absentmindedly playing with his pretty fingers to distract yourself from the feeling of embarrassment filling your veins.

"My Baby", Jay then begins, his voice slightly deeper as he notices the feeling of your wetness making its way through the thin fabric of your panties, "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend lately and I promise you to make up for every sinfle doubt and bad thought I've caused you."

You're about to interrupt his little apology and reassure him, but Jongseong doesn't let you. He's determined to say what he's been dying to for the past fourtyeight hours and no matter how badly you want him to believe that his behavior is somehow justified and okay, he knows it's not and that's why he won't allow you to intervene. Not this time.

Before your brain can even process it, you find yourself on your back, your boyfriend casually moving to lay in between your legs. Jay's face is as close to yours as physically possible and his nose gently nudges yours before he places the most delicate kiss on your parted lips.

"I haven't paid much attention to you and didn't make any efforts to actively include you into my daily routine outside of work and that wasn't okay. Yet, I hope you know that from now on that's going to change", with every single one of his words, Jay pushes you deeper into the mattress until you can practically feel his heart beating against your chest.

"No more early mornings to work out and as little long days as possible. It took me a bit but I finally realised that I am the boss and I do have the privilege to cancel and postpone appointments to make time for my girl. It won't always be like that and at times I'll be at work more than I'd like to be but at the end of the day I'm always going to try my best to come home to fall asleep with you. Not after you."

Jongseong doesn't give you enough time to actually process his sweet words as he pulls you into a hungry kiss and allows you to lose youdself in the sweet feeling of comfort and warmth it comes with.

Just as usual, Jay's kisses are slow and sensual. At first. But the harder he starts grinding his hard cock against your clothed cunt, the sloppier and needier they become. It doesn't take much time for your usually so composed boyfriend to grunt and moan into your mouth, loving the way you swallow every single one of his noises.

"And please don't ever be sorry for wanting me so often. Touching you, being intimate with you, being the one to pleasure you – and everything it comes with, is a privilege to me. Knowing you want me so much is what keeps me sane, Baby", Jay looks at you with soft eyes and just as usual, the expression in his gaze matches his words perfectly. It's like he makes sure you can physically see how honest he's being with you.

"I need it, angel girl", he suddenly grunts and buries his face in your neck, "Daddy needs you to need him, Baby. It's everything I've been daydreaming about for all my life. To be needed, wanted and loved by my person. By you. Please, don't take this away from me."

You're hearing his little pleas and his sweet, needy request, yet you're brain is already too fogged up by all the arousal rushing through your body as the tip of his clothed cock hits your sensitive clit with every single one of his precise thrusts.

"Louder, Baby", Jay suddenly commands, the urge to hear your moans and whimpers overwhelming him after the both of you had to keep quiet the last few times you've gotten intimate.

"Please, Daddy", your response comes quicker and more desperate than you expected it to, but you're simply too far gone already to care.

"What do you want, angel girl? Use those big girl words for Daddy, I know you can do it."

You start nodding like your life depends on it, your hands find home in his thick hair as Jongseong slowly kisses his way down your neck and to your cleavage, sucking the skin into his mouth every now and then right before his hands grab the hem of your camisole and pull it over your head in one swift motion.

"There she is, my perfect little angel", Jongseong sighs and comes to sit up on his knees right between your legs.

"Please, Daddy", you whimper yet again, reaching for his hands to get him to just somehow touch your needy cunt again.

You subconsciously wait dor him to scold you for not doing as you're told, however you definitely don't expect him to land a harsh spank on your clothed cunt. The stinging pain sends you into the sweetest haze of pleasure and with your head thrown back into the pillow, you struggle to build a single rational thought.

"Good girls use their words when they want something", Jay says sternly, his eyes hooded yet filled with such intense hunger, you feel your juices drip out of your clenching hole the longer you look at him.

"I need you to", you're still hesitant but quickly realise that there's no way Jong's going to give into your little insecurities now, so without wasting any more time, you blurt out the rest of your request.

"Eat my pussy", you dig your nails into his wrist as the pain of his tight grip on your inner thigh has your head spinning like crazy, "please, Daddy. I need you to eat my pussy, wanna cum all over your face."

"There you go, that's my good girl. Was that so hard, Baby?"

Jay can't help but feel amused by the sweet look of embarasin your eyes as you look at him, lips parted, hair messy, legs spread wide enough to put your drenched panties on full display for his hungry gaze.

"Don't tease me", you spit and roll your eyes in faux annoyance, followed by desperately trying to hide just how flustered you are because of the breathtakingly beautiful smirk grazing his plumps lips.

"Now, that was a mistake, pretty girl", Jay chuckles and lets his fingers graze your inner thigh right before he lands another hard spank on your sensitive pussy.

"You know I'll just tease you even more if you tell me not to."

"Daddy, please touch me. No more spanks. Need you to touch me."

For a moment you're genuinely surprised by your lack of hesitance but then again it makes sense as all your senses are captivated by Park Jongseong's sweet scent, his touche and his taste lingering on your tongue like a drug.

Jongseong doesn't say a single word until bends down to push his cheek against your inner thigh, dangerously glose to where you need him the most.

The fact you're still very much wearing your now ruined panties is definitely not helping with your impatience.

"Beg a little more, pretty girl", Jay teases and pulls the soaked fabric to the side only to blow cold air against your sensitive flesh.

"F-Fuck", you're quick to arch your back in hopes of getting him to finally do what you've asked for multiple times by now, only for Jay to pull away with another row of soft chuckles.

"Aww, look at my Baby. You're so needy, angel girl. Apparently too needy to use your manners for Daddy, hm?"

"Please", you beg softly, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes and you tighten your grip on his thick hair, "please, Daddy. I've been waiting so long for this. Don't I deserve this?"

And that little rhetorical question is what has Jongseong halt his movements like he's jusg seen a ghost.

"Of course, princess", your boyfriend whispers with tiny bits of guilt gleaming in his sweet eyes, "of course you deserve this."

If your brain wasn't as clouded by the arousal, you would have had enough time to feel bad about using such strategies to get what you want but after barely remembering what his mouth feels like on you, you can't help but feel grateful it worked. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Before either one of you can get out another word, Jongseong finally licks a long strip over the length of your soaked cunt followed by shameleslly sucking your sensitive kiss into his mouth and teasing it with the tip of his tongue.

The suddenness of his actions knock every last breath out of your lungs and with a loud gasp you push your hips further into his face, back arched and head thrown back with the loudest moan of his name.

It doesn't take much for Jongseong to completely lose himself in the sweet taste of your juices as he laps up every single drop, filling the room with loud sucking and slurping noises as well as his muffled moans the second he pushes his tongue into your tight hole.

You can tell how hard he's trying to maintain his composure but every time your gaze meets his, you realisd how far gone he already is. Eyes hooded, cheeks flushed, half of his face coated in your wetness as he digs his bails knto your soft thighs to keep your legs firmly spread for his hungry mouthy.

With every skill flick of his tongue against your hardened clit, you feel yourself inching closer and closer to the edge, the taste of your sweet relief coating the entirety of your mouth and consuming your senses in the best way possible.

Not a single coherent sentence falls past your lips as the tension in your lower stomach increases and you feel yourself getting closer and closer.

"Do it, princess", Jay suddenly grunts and lifts his hand up to land a row of hard slaps against your overly sensitive pussy, the stinging pain sending your brain into overdrive and your eyes into the back of your head.

"I can feel it, you're so close. Come on, cum for Daddy, Baby. Make me proud. Claim me as yours. Cum all over my fucking face like rhe perfect princess you are."

And maybe it's the way his deep voice so close to your cunt sends vibration through your body or maybe it's the way his thumb has made it its mission to rub firm circles into your sensitive clit or maybe, just maybe it's the way he's tamking to you, but regardless of the reason, the coil kn your lower stomach still snaps as soon as your brain has processed his words.

Your high washes over you in several waves, pussy clenching down around nothing as Jay has long taken his fingers out of your tight hold to watch your juices drip out of you as you cum for him. It takes you a moment to realise that your sight has blurred and you feel your ears ringing from the intensity of your orgasm, something you've only ever experienced with Park Jongseong before and have yet to get used to.

You have absolutely no idea how much time goes by until your breathing finally goes back to normal and when your eyes meet the sighg of your boyfriend's habdsome face still firmly buried in your pussy, you nnow exactly why it took you as long as it did.

"Up here, Daddy", you pout and push your hand into his hair to grab a fistful of the thick strands and make him look at you, "can you fuck me now, please? I need to feel you fill me up with your cum so bad."

Jay smiles lazily, still quite drunk on the taste of your cum on his tongue as he's missed it a lot more than he expected. He hasn't had time to eat you out for who knows how long and it's when you look at him with big eyes and parted lips thag he decides to make it part of his new daily routine.

Not a day shall pass by where he doesn't eat rhe sweetest pussy he's ever had or he'll be dammed.

"Sorry, Baby", he sighs and absentmindedly pulls his boxer briefs down his thick thighs, revealing his painfully hard cock to your hungry eyes, "missed eating that pussy to much so i got a little dizzy. Don't think I'll last as long as usual so I might need some help."

You nervously start nibbling on your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue, the excitement bubbling and boiling in your loser tummy as your cunt clenches in response to the throbbing of his cock in his hand.

"Be a good girl for Daddy and rub that pretty clit for me, hm? Wanna cum with you this time but I'm so sensitive already. It's been so long since I've had you like this, Baby."

"Yes, Daddy, anything for you."

Your sweet words of affirmation elicit the sweetest moan from your boyfriend's throat and you attentively watch the way his hips halt their movements for a moment in response to you.

To your luck, Jay seems a lot more impatient than he claimed as he's quick to rub the tip of his sensitive cock against the wet flesh of your cunt, coating his whole length in your juices right before he lines himself up with your entrance.

"Look at Daddy, pretty girl", Jong grunts and pushes his tip inside of your tight hole just enough to reach for your free hand and intertwine your fingers with his, while his other one finds his way around your delicate throat.

"I love you", are the first tjing to leave his plump lips the second he pushes ghe first two inches of his thick cock into the tightness of your pussy, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as soon as you start clenching around him.

"Relax, angel girl. We still have a few more inches to. Daddy needs you to relax so it doesn't hurt, yeah? Be good for me, Baby."

You start nodding impatiently, almost instinctively rubbing firm circlers into your sensitive bundle of nerves the way your biyfriend did it just a few minutes ago, knowing exactly how you like it and how to get yourself to the edge as fast as possible again.

Your body slowly gets rid of the last bit of tension when Jongseong bends down to press his lips against your, not caring about how soft or sweet the kiss is, but rather focusing on the taste of your spit coating the muscle of his tongue.

By the time he finally bottoms out, you can feel your breath hitching in your throat, the feeling of being filled to the absolute brim overwhelming you just as usual.

"So fucking tight", Jay whimpers into your ear, not awake or sober enough to care about the way he sounds, "you're going to make me cum so hard, Baby. Fuck, I won't last l-long, I'm sorry."

"No, Daddy, don't be", you're quick to reassure your boyfriend, pulling on his hair and öoving your hips to meet his little thrusts, appreciative of the way he's still giving you time to adjust to his impressive size, "am close already, too. Wanna cum with you, please."

"Yeah, Baby? Gonna make a mess of Daddy's cock and cum all over me like the good girl you are, right? Go ahead then, angel girl", Jongseong's voice grows raspier, deeper and more hoarse as the pleasure and meed for relief overwhelms his whole body in the best way possible, "cum for me. Claim your man. Show me what only you get to do with my cock."

It's those exact words which push you over the edge headfirst the second time wighin just a few minutes. Jay always knows exactly what to say, he knows how possessive you are and how much yoj love claiming him. Hearing him confirm your thoughts and wants so casually never fails to leave yoj completely breathless.

And as your tight cunt starts spasmkng around his iverly sensitive cock, Jongseong quickly buries his face in your negk with a loud moan of your name right as he cums in three thick spurts and coats the soft walls of your cunt in several shades of white.

Nothing but your joined heavy breathing and the thrumming of your heartbeat in your throat fills your ears for a good five minutes, Jong's cock occasionally twitching inside of you before the sensitivity becomes too much for the both of you and he decides to pull out with a soft pout on his plump lips.

You allow yourself to devour the sight of his flushed skin, from his cheeks all the way down to his lean chest covered in the prettiest shade of pink, his messy hair falling into his face and reminding you both of his need of a haircut.

"Shower or some more sleep?" Jay mumbles softly againsg dour lips and pushes the few strands of hair away from your pretty face to get a better look at you.

"We have to go to work, Daddy", you reply instead and earn youeself another roll of his eyes.

"Your boss doesn't feel very well so he wants you to cancel all of his appointments for today. He said he needs to have some one on one time with his beautiful girlfriend or he'll actually die in agonising pain."

His exaggeration has you both burst into a fit of laughter and without even thinking of protesting any further, you just pull him into your chest and enjoy the feeling of his breathing against your neck as you both allow yourself to take a whole day off of your regular routine.

Being girlfriend and boyfriend for a whole day and nothing but that.

Just this once.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: and here we are 🤪 i know you guys probably expected smth else after the prev chap was sp emptional but i missed writing smut for them so ive been thinking about it all day and wanted to give this to you guys as 1) a little thank you for all the love ln strictly business and 2) as a was to apologize for all the heart reak in future chapters!🤕 thank you so much for everything babies, i love you so much. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!!!!💞🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jjaeyuns @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @jseongies @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

[libby-for-life]

Can you write a one-shot of Adam sick at the hotel, and I mean REALLY sick but he refuses to let that stop him? He's so used to powering through it all, Sera making him do things despite not feeling the best mentally because that was what he learned to do.

And finally Lucifer has had enough basically forces his ass to bed and takes care of him after he almost passes out.

I like this idea! Onwards! Hope you don't mind if I change a few things in this ask to make it flow better.

Adam felt horrible when he flopped on his bed with a tired sigh. Today's activities at the hotel had drained him for some reason and he was feeling more tired than usual. He didn't even have the energy to change out of his clothes and he fell asleep on top of his bed, shivering in the cold air.

That should have been his first clue that something was wrong. Hell wasn't cold.

The next day he woke up and realized it felt like his head was stuffed with cotton and then sowed back together. Adam just lied there for a second, blinking and shivering before he groaned at sat up. He didn't have time for this. Lucifer had made him agree to not skip any activities no matter what. He's not supposed to be making waves.

He tried to get up, but Adam felt so dizzy that he sat back down, breathing heavily. He had to get up. Now. Sera....Lucifer...

Adam forced himself back up and took a couple of breaths, trying to clear out the black spots dancing in his vision. He was Adam. He's got this. He just wished his body got with the program.

Breakfast was miserable. Charlie had made pancakes and on any normal day, he would have drooled at the sight of them (Adam knew he was lying to himself because he hardly ate anymore). Now they made Adam want to vomit. Both Alastor and Lucifer were watching him like a hawk. Well, more like Alastor was since Lucifer was busy complimenting his daughter's cooking.

"Don't be rude, Adam. Are you really going to waste Mrs. Charlie's hard worked pancakes?" Alastor said, knowing that would get Lucifer's attention. Adam barely recognized what that damn deer was doing, too busy forcing his head up and trying not to gasp for breath.

"You are not gonna waste Charlie's food," Lucifer said with a glare. "Dad, it's okay. He doesn't have to eat it." Charlie said, trying to placate everyone. Adam needed everyone to stop looking at him so, despite his stomach feeling like it was tearing itself apart, he forced a mouthful of the sugary stuff into his mouth and swallowed.

"Thank her."

"Dad."

"Now."

Adam let out a short breath and gave Charlie a short smile that usually got anyone who asked if he was okay up in Heaven off his back. "Thanks." Charlie smiled warmly while Lucifer finally turned away.

The rest of the day was no better. Adam was moving slower than usual and apparently that was making Lucifer think he was being lazy on purpose. Constantly on his back about being faster and stop trying to get out of work. Adam didn't have the energy to argue.

Everything came to a head when they were doing a trust fall. He tried to pay attention to what was going on but it was hard to hear everything through the ringing.

A smack to the back of his head made him swallow and look at Lucifer. "What is with you? I don't care that you're bored. Stop zoning out and go up on the stage already." Was it his turn already? Oh. Adam shuffled up the steps but a gentle hand grabbed his much bigger one.

"Adam? Are you okay? You're looking a little pale." She said and Adam forced another smile. "I'm fine. I am." Charlie didn't look like she believed him but let him go up.

Right, what was he supposed to do again? What kind of trust fall was this? What was he supposed to say? His head was swimming and multiple voices were ringing in his head and—and....oh. He was falling.

"ADAM!"

Blessed peace....

XxX

Lucifer watched Adam climb the stage and just...stand there. Zoning out again. "Adam! Don't just stand there!" Lucifer yelled, hoping that would make him move. Now that he was really looking at him, he looked incredibly pale, and he he was breathing heavily.

"Guess more out of shape than I realized," Vaggie mumbled and Lucifer couldn't help but tilt his head. No. That wasn't it. It...it almost looked like he was going to—

"Adam?" Charlie tried calling for him only for Adam to crumble to the floor in a heap. "ADAM!" Charlie yelled as she climbed the stage. Everyone was at different levels of shock.

"Shit! He's burning up!" Charlie yelled and that made Lucifer act. He jumped onto the stage and winced when he realized just how bad Adam looked. How...how did he not notice this? Pale gray, sweat collecting on his forehead, ragged breathing...he looked sick. Very sick.

No wonder he was slow today, Lucifer thought, and that only made him feel worse because he had been pretty harsh on Adam for being lazy when he was so clearly sick. Why the fuck did he not say anything?! Was he seriously this delusional about masculinity that he kept this a secret for—

"You better not skip any activities, Adam. I won't hesitate to kick you out if you miss one. For any reason."

Ah....maybe that was why. Now he felt immensely guilty. Adam was doing this, hurting himself because Lucifer didn't give him any other option.

"DAD!" Charlie yelled when Adam threw up the pancakes from this morning. Lucifer was quick to pick Adam up as Charlie led him back to his room.

Charlie tried to stay but Lucifer reminded her that he was going to strip him of his clothes and that he thought that Adam wouldn't appreciate anyone looking at him naked like this.

She immediately agreed and left him to Lucifer. He slowly stripped the man and tried not to stare at his body too hard. He...looked skinny. Too skinny. The baggy clothes helped hide it but he looked like he lost a lot of weight and not in a healthy way.

Was...was he starving himself?

"Wow, you certainly know how to put that food away! I'm quite impressed." Alasor's voice said and Lucifer had laughed while Adam gripped his fork tightly.

Lucifer didn't mean for Adam to take it to heart and the Devil felt even worse because he laughed at the jab. Clearly...it affected him.

He dressed Adam in his pajamas and tucked Adam in. He...he needed to make sure Adam stayed in bed. With no other choice, he sat in the chair beside Adam's bed and sighed. Hopefully...the first man didn't freak out too much with him here.

"Hu?" Adam mumbled making Lucifer flinch a bit. His eyes were glassy and the Devil noticed how he panted. "I'm...in bed?" He slurred. "Gotta...get up."

"Adam, please stay." Adam turned to him, his eyes not focusing on really anything. "I...I can't. Gotta get up....he'll be mad at me."

He? Who—oh. Him. Lucifer. He's talking about the Devil being mad.

"Adam...I promise he won't be mad." Adam shook his head. "No...he will. I can't be...cough...I can't be kicked out....I can't be out there...not again..." Lucifer furrowed his eyebrows. He knew Adam had probably had it tough out there, why else would he subject himself to stay with people who hated him, but he didn't think Adam feared it that much...what happened?

"Sh..." Lucifer said, hesitantly putting a clawed hand on his chest and finally pushing him back. "I won't let....I won't let him kick you out." It was clear Adam didn't recognize him.

Adam whimpered. "Really?"

Lucifer nodded. "Yes....so please stay in bed." Adam still looked conflicted and the Devil knew he didn't have him convinced quite yet. "I'll stay with you." He offered.

Adam looked panicked. "No...he'll hurt you...I don't want him to hurt you!"

Lucifer felt his composure crumble. Did Adam think that Lucifer would hurt someone simply because they were friendly with each other? Is...is that how he viewed him?

It's not like you've done anything of late to give him a reason to not believe that.

"Don't worry. I'll be f-fine."

Adam didn't look convinced so Lucifer gently rubbed his forehead. "I promise. Just...stay, please."

Adam finally passed out from exhaustion making Lucifer finally slump in his chair. He....he didn't know what to think.

[lovebvni]

intuitive messages pac !!

THIS IS FROM 2023!! BE FOREWARNED

┈

│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

╰─────────────────

[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 7.31.23

[  ] published ⋮  7.31.23

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hello earthlings, its been a while since i've done a pac, mainly because of MANY personal issues - but thats not important. i thought for a while and went back to my old pac's and i found an older one i made and i remembered, my intuition is just as powerful as ever - so why do i need tarot cards now?

today i'm just going to have 10 messages/sentences the universe wants you to hear. they can be specific or general.  remember, take everything can be taken with a grain of salt, and your future can be changed. you are in control.

now please, find your inner peace, connect to your soul.

understand these messages were meant to find you, and see what is left for you.

inhale, exhale, and pick a pile

Pile 1 - Watching

confirmation :

procrastinating, pushing things off, turning the other cheek, tumblr, the colour purple (show or the actual colour), spacing out, spirits, double meaning, two faced, gemini, hidden meanings/words, red eyes (tired, puffy), burnt out, music, 'good night, sleep tight, don't let the demons fight.', the letter s, sharks, 'the grass is greener'.

side note : the month of august (summer in general) be significant for your shifting/spiritual journey.

Your messages

1. Why would you wait when you could just grab at it? It's right there. Don't let it rot.

2. "Hello? Are you there, listening? Listen to me. I'm here to help. I promise." (this could be an inner voice or a spirit guide)

3. Be your own boss. Keep going.

4. Pass on to the next step (Death to life)

5. You know what's there, talk to it. "I wont hurt you."

6. Listen, don't speak.

7. Let it go. Be like Elsa, don't let it bother you anymore.

8. Mind, Body and Soul. You're in harmony. Use it to your advantage.

9. Advise and criticize. And use the same techniques on yourself.

10. Peace and love. You deserve it. You know you do. And you will find it, soon.

Pile 2 - Renew

conformation :

saiki k, giving up, letting go, leaving things behind, mental overload, 'Jesus fucking Christ', jealous, letting go of that person, shadow work, yellow, outlook, aries, the moon, big lips, 333, the number 3.

Your messages

1. Bite down. Let it flow into your veins, your soul, your spirit. Its part of you now.

2. Is it a real worry, or just something from your past you don't want to let go of?

3. Jail. Time to rest. Now.

4. Eat and care for your physical body. You can't idolize shifting. You're not getting anywhere doing that.

5. Look in the mirror - no. Not at the past. At who you are now. Who you've become.

6. You have the balls. Go fucking do it.

7. Don't accept the truth from other people, find and make your own. That's what they see, not what you know.

8. Her claws. Her teeth. She's manipulating you. Let her go. Rip away from her. She's wasting your time, energy and draining your soul.

9. "I  DO love you. That doesn't mean I'll let you hurt yourself."

10. I am watching. Always. In your good times and bad. I'm here for you. Just ask for help.

Pile 3 - Love

confirmation :

wrist and elbow, jumpscares/ being scared, saturn, planets, fnaf, cycles, broken cycles, love watch, soulmate reuniting, mha (lmao bro idek at this point), drawing, heartache, feeling lonely, barbie, hip dips, trios.

1. Wake up from that dream and make it a reality, you know what you have to do, so go do it.

2. "Beg for my mercy." - This had a VERY sexual undertone... Obviously from a dominant partner or something

3. 'Hello again, my friend! What do you have to tell me now?"

4. You know that thing you asked for? Yeah. It's coming. Keep your eyes pealed (for some I heard it's even coming tomorrow!)

5. Sit in silence, you know what it is. You hear the voices.

6. Pack your bags and go.

7. Grab on, I'll lead you to where you need to be.

8. Don't chase what you're attracting, that will only lead to disaster. (A manifestation you wanted is coming, this is basically saying don't overwork and beat yourself up over it. It's coming and nothing will stop it.)

9. Nature is your friend. Go out and ground yourself. Lay in the grass, smell the rain.

10. If you want to learn, you need the knowledge. Search for what you want to find. You can see it. Ask around. You'll find it. Look, look, look, search, look look, search, find.

I hope this pac resonated for everyone! remember, this will find you when you need it, take what relates, leave what doesnt. remember you are in charge of your future.

i love you. new things are coming.

dont give up.

1111

[thearchercore]

why charles, ironically, is a good fit as a potential condender for a red bull seat and why red bull needs a driver like charles (an essay)

charles embodies the "red bull gives you wings" mentality and branding. red bull prides themselves with pushing limits, constant adrenaline rush of the sports they currently sponsor/participate in. just look at his recent instagram posts, he loves doing weird side quests for the adrenaline rush -- something ferrari does not particularly enjoy. for instance, he once tried skydiving (to quote @gaslightgirlsummer "he’s legally not allowed to do it anymore. he was actually legally not allowed to do it when he did it the first time around either"). when he got asked about it, he said "in case it went wrong, i would not be here to be told up".

max and checo, on the other hand, prefer only racing. they don't do anything extra during their prep or training. in fact, max prefers to train in the privacy of his own balcony. the both don't really resonate with the initial message red bull is trying to push, they only do so exclusively when racing.

red bull is in desparate need of keeping themselves interesting for potential sponsors and just in general, being in the public eye and remaining relavant. their main goal is to sell the drinks, after all. max recently had an interview with the TIME magazine, released around the vegas weekend, conducted around COTA, the interview highlighted that max's focus is on racing and the PR responsibilites pretty much drain his energy because they are part of the sport. it showcased that despite the results in racing, they need someone who's more interesting for sponsors/events to keep themselves in the spotlight, which max and checo don't really do. charles, on the other hand, attends these events quite smoothly.

recently, christian horner at the ferrari movie premiere:

Christian Horner says Ferrari would be ‘crazy’ not to keep hold of Charles Leclerc:

Horner on the contract extension rumours:

🗣️: “It’s totally natural, he’s a great driver. I’m sure they’ll want to keep hold of him and they’d be crazy if they didn’t.”

there's more but to align it with my previous charles PR rebrand post, it's truly fascinating to see charles and his PR team push the narrative of all his adrenaline side quests as of recent from his training (24 hour ski trip from italy to austria and back, or the sliding). i'm not saying that charles is going to red bull, i still believe he wants to give ferrari one more chance, but i am convinced charles has a solid back up plan if ferrari does not deliver again, and red bull keeps their door open in case charles wants to look for a team alternative in the future. don't forget contracts have mutliple exit clauses, and it would be stupid to think charles did not secure the ferrari contract with multiple to make sure he wouldn't waste his active racing years at a team that won't deliver and help him achieve the WDC title. don't forget what charles said - he's ready to leave ferrari if he does not believe in the project anymore.

"Whenever I don't believe in the project anymore, I'll have to go away. Because it’s in these kinds of situations that you don't get the best out of yourself, that you don't help the team as much as it needs to be helped."

and that's exactly what's happening. now it's up to ferrari to deliver on the said project.

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[severinageto]

Thank you, Yoshi

(One shot for @flufftober )

(Word count: 5,822)

The keyboard echoed in Suguru's office with a mechanical, tedious rhythm, almost like an instrument in one of those repetitive songs. The words on the screen blurred together, and every time he reread them, they made even less sense. The damn PhD thesis that had been stuck in his head for years had to eventually become words, but without him realizing it, the deadline was coming at him like a tsunami, and every time he looked at a calendar, his chest tightened, his teeth clenched, and his back stiffened. Rarely had he ever felt this much pressure.

Sighing heavily, Suguru rested his elbow on the desk and ran a hand through his messy dark hair, pulling at it as if that would ease the pressure in his head. He had no idea if the clock on the wall showed four in the morning or six in the evening; he barely registered time anymore. All he felt was the constant weight on his shoulders and one nagging thought: "Hurry up, Geto Suguru."

Suddenly, the sound of his door being flung open made him jump.

"Suguru!"

Of course, it was him. The owner of that carefree, masculine voice was the only one who would dare interrupt him like that.

Suguru sighed and kept his eyes fixed on the screen. The looming deadline didn’t allow him to give in to the electrifying energy of that magnetic man. If he kept falling for Satoru’s distractions (like he had been for the last few months), he wouldn't become Geto Suguru PhD before turning forty, and that was far from the plan he’d laid out back when he became a sorcerer at the tender age of fifteen.

"Not now, Satoru..." he muttered, jaw clenched, trying to ignore the automatic desire that washed over him whenever his partner’s familiar scent hit him. "I'm not in the mood."

Gojo Satoru, bearer of the Six Eyes, user of the Limitless technique, head of the Gojo clan, and full-time professor of *whatever-is-needed-today* at the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School, wasn’t going to take that for an answer. He’d expected it, sure, but he was convinced he could change it. He strolled into the office with that confidence that could be as intimidating as it was annoying, and the smirk that drove Suguru crazy. Casually, he tossed a small stack of papers aside and perched on the desk. He pulled a candy from one of his pockets, unwrapped it, and started eating.

"That’s why I ditched my students to come see you," he said, not bothering to take the candy out of his mouth. "I don’t like you spending the night working."

Suguru didn’t respond. He’d been sleeping in the school office to avoid wasting time going back and forth. He’d explained it to Satoru, and he’d sworn he understood and wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

"And I don’t like these interruptions. You know that."

Gojo kicked his legs, like a mischievous kid, to hide his worry. When Suguru decided to chase his academic dreams, Satoru knew he'd see less of him and that his boyfriend’s intellectual side would kick in, but he never imagined a PhD would be this much work or involve something as barbaric as sleeping on the deputy director’s couch. Besides, the truth was he couldn’t enjoy his four hours of sleep without Suguru next to him. If he didn’t feel his rhythmic breathing, or catch his sweet scent, he just couldn’t relax.

He watched him. Those feline eyes were glued to the screen, his nose practically touching it, and his hands typing like stopping meant the end of the world. That couldn’t be good for his mental health. And Satoru needed Suguru’s mental health to be okay. He didn’t even want to think about seeing him slip back into a dark place.

"Hey, look at me, Suguru."

Geto glanced over, blinking excessively, partly to rest from the monitor's light and partly to emphasize his annoyance. He lit a cigarette and sighed again. He loved that sugar-proof man, but boy, did he know how to get under his skin.

"What are you trying to pull?" he asked.

Satoru answered with a cryptic smile. Geto rolled his eyes. He didn’t have the patience for his boyfriend’s childish games.

"I have stuff to do, Satoru. Wish my thesis would just write itself."

Satoru lifted his blindfold and stared at him for a few seconds. Suguru looked exhausted—dark circles under his eyes, dry skin, messy hair. "Stress is taking the best of my boyfriend," Satoru thought, "and I’m not gonna let it."

Suddenly, he scooped him up. Suguru was stunned for a few seconds until he realized what was happening. He started flailing his legs.

"Satoru, put me down!"

"Nope. You’re getting some air."

Suguru tried to wiggle free, but Gojo was faster.

"I have to write, you idiot!"

Satoru slung him over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

"Well, you’ll just have to wait, dumbass! I’m not asking, I’m telling you!"

If anyone had any doubt about how strong Gojo was, it probably vanished when they saw him running around campus, carrying a six-foot-tall martial artist who looked light as a feather and was screaming like a baby. The shouts of "Satoru, put me down, you massive idiot" and "I’ll never forgive you, you moron" echoed throughout the school, even drawing Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara out of their curse class.

"What do you think’s going on?" Yuuji asked.

"Isn’t it obvious? Gojo-sensei’s kidnapping Geto-sensei to lock him up somewhere shady. I knew he was a yandere," Nobara said with disgust.

"Could be. He’s been whining about how he never has time anymore because of that whole PhD thesis thing," added Megumi, who had appeared behind Yuuji.

Itadori started laughing, and Nobara rolled her eyes.

"Where do you think he’s taking him? The basement? A storage closet? The abandoned cabin in the woods?" Kugisaki asked, eyeing Megumi.

"They’re probably headed to the roof of the main building," Fushiguro replied casually, staring at his phone. "They’ve got like a million ugly selfies up there."

Megumi wasn’t wrong. Satoru was heading with determination, ignoring Suguru’s complaints, toward his favorite spot. At first glance, it might not seem like much, but for him, that place held a special mysticism. The first time he stayed overnight at Tokyo’s school, unable to sleep after a long day of training, he had snuck up to the traditional rooftop to lie down and gaze at the stars. Breathing deeply and letting the night sky cover him, he realized that place had a calmness like no other, and from that moment, it became his personal sanctuary.

Until he met the one person he wanted to share his nocturnal sanctuary with. With Suguru, he discovered that not only the dark hours had that special charm he had first loved, but that peace also filled his soul at dawn, noon, mid-afternoon, and of course, during the orange sunsets.

Or maybe it was just sitting there, side by side with the person he loved.

Anyhow, the rooftop was a small piece of paradise that he had decided to share with who, to him, was the only angel that had fallen from heaven. That's why he had gone to great lengths to make it comfortable for both of them. After all, what was good for Satoru was good for Suguru. It couldn’t be any other way for two people who shared the same soul.

He was thinking about this when he noticed Suguru had stopped yelling. For his part, the curse manipulator had figured out what his boyfriend was up to. And, as tired and stressed as he was, he decided to let himself be pampered by his beloved two-meter albino. As soon as Satoru jumped onto the roof, Geto rested his head on his shoulder and hugged him, feeling tender.

With that strange mix of bluntness and awkwardness that defined him, Satoru set his boyfriend down on the ground. Smiling at him, he sat beside him.

“No one can stay mad at that smile,” Suguru thought.

“You always do whatever you want,” he muttered, his voice carrying a false toughness.

Satoru, without saying a word, leaned on his legs. He took off his blindfold and, playfully, started waving it in his face.

“Being grumpy doesn’t suit you like it does Megumi. You’re not 15 anymore.”

Suguru shook his head, pulling out a cigarette. He was right. Those years when his only responsibilities were the missions, his only problems not having the highest exam score, and his only interest holding the hand of the man next to him, were gone, never to return.

Before he could take his first drag, Satoru snatched the cigarette from his mouth and tossed it far away.

“Hey!”

“I can feel your cortisol levels. Cosplaying as a chimney isn’t helping.”

Suguru fixed his eyes on the horizon. The first colors of sunset were beginning to appear.

“It helps me calm down.”

“How about you calm down by putting something else in your mouth?”

Suguru blushed. Twelve years together and he still wasn’t used to his boyfriend’s direct ways.

He stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. He was there. Better to just go with it.

“Is that why you brought me up here? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not putting anything of yours inside me in a place where Panda might easily find us.”

Gojo started laughing. He hadn’t brought him up there for that, but it didn’t hurt to hint at how much he wanted to feel Suguru’s mouth in his cock. It had been a couple of days without Suguru’s touch. He understood his reasons, but that didn’t make him miss it any less.

“You’ve done it before.”

Suguru let out a mischievous, embarrassed laugh. That was true.

“The last time must have been the night we graduated.”

Gojo sat up and looked him in the face. He smiled at what he saw in front of him. Even with the obvious signs of sleep deprivation, he was beautiful. He took a deep breath and kissed him on the cheek. He couldn’t believe that fortune had favored him so much as to gift him the love of such a creature, for so long. What had he done to deserve it?

“Suguru, do you realize how long we’ve been together?”

Geto kissed him softly on the lips. Yeah, he realized. He had been walking alongside the great Gojo Satoru since he was fifteen years old. Sometimes it was hard to grasp how much time that really was, and he couldn’t help but wonder how things would’ve been if he had broken up with him, as he’d considered during his darkest moments. Obviously different, but never better. When he saw the loving look in his eyes, he couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t regret spending half his life with the albino. In fact, lately, he’d been seriously thinking about spending the rest of it with him.

“Yes. It’ll be thirteen years this summer.”

Satoru’s eyes widened.

“What? No, no. This spring.”

“What are you talking about? Don’t you remember how hot it was on our first date?”

“You’re counting our relationship from our first date?!” he exclaimed, with exaggerated drama.

“Since when do you count it from?” Suguru asked, raising an eyebrow.

Satoru grinned, showing all his teeth, and gave him a shove.

“Well, from the day we met, you absolute idiot. Don't you remember?”

Suguru shoved him back.

“How could I forget, you absolute moron?”

April, 2005

Masamichi looked at the chaos that Yoshi, his sister’s hyperactive Kishu Ken, had caused in his office. He had only been taking care of him for an hour out of the three days he had promised, and he already felt on the verge of a breakdown. So when he heard his two students laughing in the hallway, the idea of handing over the puppy to them seemed pretty tempting.

“What? But we were about to leave!” Satoru exclaimed, while Shoko laughed, amused.

“Come on, Gojo. It’s not like we’ve got any hard classes tomorrow or anything,” said the sorceress, petting Yoshi.

Masamichi ignored his student’s hint and simply handed them the leash and the dog’s food.

“It’ll just be for a couple of hours. I’ve got something important to finish before tomorrow.”

With that, Yaga walked away from his students as fast as he could. He couldn’t stand Shoko’s ironic laughter and Satoru’s complaints.

“If these two are already making me age faster, I don’t even want to imagine how it’ll be with the one arriving tomorrow,” he muttered to himself as he left the academy.

Shoko waited until their teacher was out of sight and quickly handed the puppy to Satoru.

“I’m meeting Utahime, Gojo. You’re on dog-sitting duty.”

Satoru felt like he was about to explode with rage. That wasn’t fair. He had plans too. It was his last free afternoon before the first day of school, and of course, he intended to spend it with his best friend—the Nintendo Wii.

“You’re leaving me alone with this flea bag, you traitorous bitch?”

Shoko burst out laughing.

“I’d love to spend the afternoon with a nerd who calls me a traitorous bitch, but I’ve got other plans, Gojo,” she said, waving goodbye and tossing the dog food to Satoru.

Gojo stood in the hallway, dumbfounded, with the puppy in his arms. Never in his life had he taken care of another living creature. He had no idea what to do. He looked at the puppy, who started licking his face.

“Ugh, stop it, you idiot,” he said, pulling him off and putting him on the floor. “You’re kinda gross, you know that?”

Yoshi tilted his head, as if he couldn’t understand how someone could feel grossed out by something so cute. He barked, demanding attention.

Satoru looked at him in surprise, his eyes widening. Who did this furball think he was? The dog barked again, as if he could read his thoughts. Satoru glanced at the bag of food and shook it in front of him.

“Food? Yeah, well, go to hel—”

Before he could finish the sentence, little Yoshi had snatched the bag of food and, taking advantage of the fact that Gojo wasn’t holding his leash, bolted towards the exit, barking all the way. Satoru, shocked by the dog's audacity, took a few seconds to realize that the furball had escaped.

“You little son of a bitch!” he shouted as he began chasing after him.

Sure, Gojo Satoru was the strongest and his legs were probably a meter long each, but much to his annoyance, Kishu Kens were a hunting breed, known for their speed. Not only that, but Yoshi had a couple of paws and a few seconds’ head start.

Yoshi, in an obvious attempt to get away from the boring, stuck-up human, dashed towards one of the academy’s large courtyards. With his 35 km/h speed, he turned left, then right, and then sprinted straight toward one of the many koi-filled ponds that decorated the gardens. It’s not common for a dog to have an accident, but this particular one was so eager to escape from Satoru that he didn’t manage to stop in time. With a loud crash, he knocked someone into the pond, both puppy and person falling in with a splash.

Seconds after Yoshi’s high-speed disaster, Satoru appeared, panting. His breathing became even more labored when he saw a boy, broad-shouldered and about his age, who, despite being soaked from the muddy pond water, was laughing loudly while Yoshi playfully licked his face. The boy suddenly noticed Satoru’s presence and gave him a sweet look; not only were his sensual lips smiling, but his gaze was too, with feline, narrow eyes that held a mesmerizing violet color. He waved with his right hand, while his left stroked the mischievous puppy.

He was probably the most beautiful thing Satoru had ever seen.

“Uh… could you give me a hand?” the boy asked, motioning to stand up.

Satoru, startled by this strange feeling of admiration for someone of the same sex, didn’t respond. He just stood there, looking at him with a perfectly stupid expression.

The boy waited a few seconds for Satoru to help, but when he realized the guy in front of him might have some social issues, he decided to get up on his own. However, the task was complicated by the fact that the dog had his front paws resting on his lap.

“Well, if you won’t help me, the least you could do is take care of your furry friend,” he said, pulling Yoshi off him.

The boy got out of the pond and stood in front of Satoru. He let his hair down and shook it, letting a small strand fall over his left eye. Satoru stared at him intently, with only one word repeating in his mind, over and over.

“Bangs,” he said, unknowingly, out loud.

“What?”

Gojo blushed and looked away. Picking up the disobedient Yoshi in his arms, he said, “I asked who you are and what you’re doing here. You’re not a student. I don’t know you.”

The boy, also slightly blushing, leaned against the nearby willow tree.

“And how do you know everyone who comes to this school, huh?”

“Pfft. I’m Gojo Satoru. Of course I know everyone,” he said arrogantly, petting a reluctant Yoshi on the head. “And everyone knows me.”

The boy tied his hair back up and gave him a mischievous smile.

“Well, I’m Geto Suguru,” he said with a small bow, “and I don’t know you.”

Satoru took a deep breath and decided to act like he didn’t care, masking the rage he felt at this Suguru guy’s insolence.

“Doubt it,” he said, inspecting his nails. “But if you really don’t know who I am, what are you doing here, Geto Suguru?”

Suguru looked at the ground, searching for an answer. The truth was, few things had excited him as much in his short life as the prospect of starting his journey into the world of sorcery. Ever since Masamichi had found him and explained what his talent and power meant, he hadn’t stopped thinking about the institution he’d be part of for many years. That’s why, as soon as he arrived in Tokyo, he headed straight to the place, determined to see it, even though the official start was the next day.

Surprised at how easily he’d wandered onto the grounds, he began exploring, marveling at the traditional architecture and lush gardens. When he came across an old willow tree by a pond, he couldn’t resist standing there to smoke. That’s what he had been doing when Yoshi crashed into him, dragging him into the water. While he wasn’t embarrassed about that, he was a bit ashamed of the fact that he had been “illegally” smoking cigarettes in the garden of his future school.

He looked again at this Gojo Satoru. His white hair and exceptional height made him instantly unforgettable, at least to him. Or maybe it wasn’t those things, but his mysterious sunglasses and that soft yet masculine voice. Either way, he didn’t feel the need to make any excuses. For some strange reason, he felt comfortable around this arrogant guy.

He opened his mouth to reply, but instead, let out a loud sneeze. The dog mimicked him.

“Would you mind lending me a change of clothes, Gojo Satoru? And a bath for me and this little one would be nice,” he asked with his best smile, petting Yoshi’s head.

Satoru felt a strange tingle at the thought of Suguru bathing. He blinked several times, shaking away the impure thoughts, and as he took the puppy’s leash, he said,

“I’ll get you dry clothes, but only if I help with the bath.”

“What?”

Gojo turned bright red as he realized what he’d said.

“Help me! With Yoshi’s bath! His bath, not yours! Ah!” he exclaimed, pointing dramatically at the dog.

Geto might have felt uncomfortable with that Freudian slip if it had come from anyone else, but from his future partner, it just made him feel an inexplicable fondness. He laughed, instinctively flirtatious, and started walking.

“After you, Gojo Satoru.”

***

Satoru leaned against the locker room doorframe, arms crossed, chewing one of his many strawberry-flavored gums furiously. He was inexplicably nervous. The only sound he could hear was the water falling with that distinct rhythm of a shower. But that wasn’t what was driving him crazy—it was those brief moments when he could hear the soft movements of Suguru’s body under the water. That image seemed more interesting than he’d ever dare admit.

He turned and walked toward the exit of the locker room. From the moment he saw Suguru’s rebellious lock of hair, he realized he hadn’t felt this way about anyone. Sure, it was true that his short sixteen years hadn’t been free of dates with girls or the occasional teenage crush, but to be left speechless? Nervous? Saying stupid things? That was new to him. And Gojo Satoru was anything but stupid. It was a simple matter of adding two and two—this Geto Suguru confused him. Despite knowing him for less than an hour, something about him immediately mesmerized him: Suguru was calm, yet didn’t put up with any nonsense, and definitely wouldn’t let himself be intimidated. That made him a challenge. And Satoru loved challenges, the first of which was to stop thinking about how, just a few meters away, that attractive boy was naked, water running down his body, with an expression of pleasure that only cleanliness can bring.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Satoru?” he muttered under his breath, glancing down at Yoshi, who was watching him from a comfortable spot at his feet.

“And what are you looking at?” he asked the puppy. The little dog wagged its tail and looked at him with a playful, curious expression, as if he knew exactly the sea of confused thoughts swirling around the albino’s mind.

Gojo snorted, letting the puppy’s cuteness win him over. He petted him and, making sure Suguru couldn’t hear, spoke to him as if he could understand.

“This idiot’s bangs have gotten in my head because of you, Yoshi.”

The dog barked and wagged its tail, which to Satoru was a sign that not only was he the strongest, but he could probably talk to animals too.

A few seconds later, he heard Suguru turn off the water. He sighed, imagining him stepping out of the shower. He felt really dumb. He was thinking about that when he saw him come out with a towel, his black hair wet, falling straight over his broad shoulders. Discreetly, and shielded by his dark glasses, he glanced at his body.

“He’s fucking perfect,” he thought, swallowing hard as he tried to tear his eyes away from his sculpted abs and strong pecs.

Suguru wasn’t dumb either, and being the owner of such a savage, enormous beauty, he knew what he stirred in others. Usually, the lascivious stares from people he had just met disgusted him, but from this peculiar albino, they filled him with a strange sense of pride. Smiling, and calmly as he wrung out his hair, he thanked him for letting him use the shower.

“Yeah… well… you asked and…” Satoru coughed, in an exaggerated and ridiculous attempt to seem nonchalant. “…there’s your clothes.”

Suguru, still with the towel wrapped around his sculpted body, arched an eyebrow at him.

“You mind?” he said, gesturing toward the towel.

Satoru felt extreme heat rush through his body. Grumbling things in a language that didn’t exist, he turned around.

“You look… different without mud in your hair,” he said, immediately regretting it.

Suguru laughed heartily as he buttoned the pants Satoru had lent him, which were especially tight around his rear.

“Thanks?” he said, trying not to sound too ironic. “I’m ready. It’s your furry friend’s turn,” he added.

Satoru turned back around, picking up Yoshi in his arms.

“He’s not mine. He belongs to some old idiot who… ah, never mind.”

“Either way, you don’t want him to keep smelling like a pond, do you?”

Satoru shook his head. The dog really did smell bad, and while he hated playing babysitter and had no desire to bathe him, the truth was, doing so meant more time with him. Surprised by his own thoughts, he waved his hands as if to shoo them away and headed to one of the tubs. He turned on the hot water and placed his hand under the stream to check the temperature.

Suguru watched him closely and crouched down beside him. Without understanding where the gesture came from, he also brought his hand to the stream of water. Inevitably, their fingers brushed for a second. Startled, Gojo pulled his hand away.

“I think it’s…” he began nervously.

“Yeah, I think it’s perfect,” Suguru interrupted, embarrassed.

They both looked in opposite directions, their cheeks flushed. Slowly, Suguru glanced at Satoru, only to find him looking back. They locked eyes for a few seconds, until Yoshi barked loudly.

“Okay, time for the real deal, Gojo. You hold him, I’ll soap him up.”

Satoru nodded and placed the playful puppy in the tub. Yoshi, clearly enjoying himself, wagged his tail energetically, splashing both sorcerers with water.

Suguru let out a small smile. The brushing of their hands was inevitable, and it made him feel a spark he didn’t know existed. He tried to focus on the puppy’s white fur, but it was impossible. The soft touch of Satoru’s hands was becoming irresistible; he was holding back the urge to just grab his hands in his own.

“You’re good with animals, Geto,” the albino suddenly said. Of course, he felt that tension too. Time to break the ice.

Suguru smiled.

“Well… I’ve always liked them. They don’t bother with unnecessary things. If they don’t like you, they let you know and…” his heart started racing as he locked eyes with Satoru, “…if they like you, they let you know that too.”

Gojo let out a nervous laugh, but covered it with his usual arrogance.

“Or maybe they just know how to ask for shelter and food.”

Suguru raised both eyebrows, surprised by the albino’s response. “So that’s his game,” he thought.

“Well, a relationship can start from something as simple as shelter and food,” Suguru said, brushing his hands against his again.

Satoru swallowed hard. He didn’t know what Suguru meant, but he was almost convinced he was flirting with him. Geto, for his part, started whistling nervously. He didn’t know what he had meant either or why he had started flirting like that.

Suddenly, Yoshi shook himself energetically, spraying water and soap over both sorcerers. They couldn’t help but laugh. The puppy’s gesture had helped break some of the obvious tension. Still laughing, Satoru turned to Suguru.

"Hey, can you help me take off my glasses? They're covered in foam, and I can't clean them while holding this flea-ridden thing."

Suguru nodded and carefully removed the glasses from Satoru's face. Seeing him without them, he stifled a gasp of admiration. Nothing had prepared him for those eyes. The albino looked at him, smiling, and Suguru nearly fell backwards. In that brief time next to him, he had noticed his extravagant attractiveness, but he had never imagined, in a million years, that just seeing him once without his mysterious glasses would make him fall head over heels.

Satoru laughed again when he noticed Suguru staring at him with his mouth open. He gave him a playful nudge with his shoulder.

"You seriously don’t know anything about Gojo Satoru and his Six Eyes?" he said, in a smug voice.

Embarrassed, Suguru shook his head. A few seconds later, he returned the nudge.

"Geto Suguru doesn’t care about people who talk in third person."

They both looked at each other and burst into synchronized laughter, while Yoshi kept shaking himself. Satoru continued to hold the puppy with one hand, and with the other, wiped some foam off Suguru's face. Geto, stunned by the gesture and the never-ending beauty of those eyes, smiled like a complete idiot, until he realized how much he was giving himself away.

He coughed discreetly and rubbed his hands together. Grabbing the towel Satoru had left next to him, he started drying him off.

"I think this guy’s clean. And he needs a walk."

Satoru wasn’t a shy person at all, but he had to muster all his strength to ask:

"Would you come with me?"

Suguru checked his watch. He had orders to present himself to the school board the day before starting and was already running late. He glanced at Satoru. Oh well. At that moment, he couldn’t resist those eyes. And he wouldn’t be able to for the rest of his life.

"Yeah... why not?" he replied, standing up.

***

The afternoon air was warm, though the soft breeze carried a freshness that indicated spring was in full bloom. In the distance, the cherry trees in the courtyard were starting to blossom, decorating the scene with their delicate pink petals swaying in the wind. Yoshi trotted happily in front of them, gently tugging on the leash Suguru held in his hand.

Satoru walked beside Suguru, their steps in sync as they crossed the school yard in silence. But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. There was something about Suguru’s presence that calmed him, and at the same time, made him nervous. Who was this guy really? And more importantly: was he here to stay?

"So," Satoru began, breaking the silence with his usual carefree tone, "You’re here as a student, right? I mean, you were snooping around and you’re radiating cursed energy. Pretty strong, too. I’m guessing you already know that."

Suguru looked ahead, his gaze calm and his steps steady. He took a second to respond, as if carefully choosing his words.

"Yeah, seems that way. I’ll be here…" he glanced at Satoru from the corner of his eye, "... for a good while."

Satoru couldn’t help but smile, though he tried to hide it. The fact that Suguru was staying brought an unexpected relief. There was something about having him around that made him feel an emotion he didn’t quite understand yet, but it was there, present in every exchange, every glance.

"I’m glad," Satoru said, looking up at the sky now painted with a soft orange hue as the sun began to set. "I mean, it’s cool. I figured you’d stay anyway."

Suguru glanced at him sideways, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Oh yeah? And why’s that?"

Satoru shrugged, pretending a nonchalance he didn’t feel.

"Call it intuition. Or maybe it’s just that I can’t picture you anywhere else."

Realizing what he’d said, he felt a slight warmth rise to his neck, but he kept his expression casual.

Suguru observed him silently for a moment longer, and though he didn’t say anything, Satoru could feel that his words had struck a chord. There was something between them, a tension in the air, but neither seemed willing to break the fragile balance they had.

Yoshi, oblivious to any tension, stopped to sniff the grass, and Satoru took the pause to look at the cherry trees around them. The petals were slowly falling to the ground, floating gracefully through the air. One of them, with almost poetic precision, gently landed on Suguru’s head, getting tangled in the dark strands of his hair.

Satoru smiled, amused by the sight, and without thinking too much about it, he stepped closer. He raised his hand and, with care, removed the petal from Suguru’s hair.

"You’ve got a guest," he said in a playful tone, holding the petal between his fingers before letting the wind take it away.

Suguru looked at him, surprised by the gesture, and for a second, the space between them seemed to shrink. The closeness of Satoru, the way his hand had moved with such care, caused a strange warmth to settle in Suguru’s chest. It was as if, suddenly, the air around them had grown heavier, like every small movement and every word carried a deeper meaning.

"Thanks," Suguru murmured, lowering his gaze slightly, something he didn’t usually do. Satoru, in his awkward but charming way, disarmed him in a way no one else could.

Satoru, aware of the tension but not wanting to break the moment, cleared his throat.

"No problem. Though, if you’re staying at the school, you’ll probably end up covered in petals all the time. It’s kinda a tradition." He smiled, trying to lighten the mood, though his blue eyes remained fixed on Suguru’s.

They started walking again, this time in silence, but the atmosphere had shifted. Each step they took brought them closer, not just physically, but in a deeper way, as if without needing words, they were both acknowledging something they couldn’t quite name yet. Yoshi ran ahead, happy to be outside, unaware of the little dance his caretakers were playing.

The sun kept sinking, and the sky had turned to shades of gold and pink, creating an almost surreal scene, perfect for the moment they were living. The shadows were lengthening, and as they walked, they both felt that time had slowed. The usual noise of the school had faded, and all that could be heard was the soft rustle of the leaves and Yoshi’s playful barks.

Satoru, gazing at the sunset, couldn’t help but feel like he could get used to this. To Suguru’s company, to the way his presence filled the silence without needing words. There was something warm about being by his side, something he hadn’t experienced before and didn’t want to let go of.

"It’s a nice place to stay," Suguru murmured suddenly, his eyes lost in the horizon as the sun finished setting behind the mountains. "I think I could get used to this."

Satoru glanced at him, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah, me too. I mean, probably."

He wasn’t sure if Suguru was talking about the place or something else, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. They were both sharing something, something beyond words. The attraction they felt for each other was still there, present, but there was no rush to name it or act on it. They just wanted to enjoy the moment, the shared silence, and the quiet companionship they had started to build.

As the last ray of sunlight disappeared, Satoru sighed, feeling strangely at peace. Maybe, he thought, it wasn’t so bad to let himself go with what he felt. Maybe, with Suguru by his side, everything would start to make a new kind of sense.

And yet, nothing had made him realize he had just met his first love.

The one and only.

————————-

Art by https://x.com/C_WOLFxx1

[bigsnaff]

The Old Way

The Commander and Rytlock go on a little trip. It doesn't quite go as planned. Set between IBS and EoD. 1.5k words. CWs: injury, alcohol, descriptions of blood

"You ever been hunting the old way?"

Rytlock throws his shot back, and the whiskey burns his throat just about as much as the setting sun does his eyes. He leans back on his stool and gives her a look.

"Sure, few times." Just about every charr had, at least once or twice. Usually something reserved for the youngsters. Get that pent up energy burnt in a way that no morning drill ever could. "Been about a decade." He scratches behind a horn. "Or two." 

Strip off your plate armor and go running. Sink your fangs in. Bring back a fresh kill that your warband could fight over the best cuts of over a spit fire. Wasn't something he ever got too much into, really. Wasn't as much of a fan of gamey meat. But he knew Cyna was a different story.

She matches his position and leans back, her own drink long emptied, a look in her eyes. "Talked to a merchant yesterday. They made mention that some of the wild dolyak herds are finally migrating west of here. Wouldn't mind some help."

"Y'ever hunted dolyak?" Rytlock hums.

"No. You?"

"The wild ones? Big bastards. Meaner than the pack ones. Norn will take a whole party for just a couple of 'em. You aren't taking one down by yourself."

She grins, pointing between them. "No, but we can."

He has to laugh at that. "If you'd asked me ten years ago, maybe. But nah; I'm out for the count on crap like that anymore. Go ask Braham 'r something."

Braham was a sore spot, still. Rytlock wasn't even sure why he brought him up; the kid was still recovering. Physically. And mentally. They all were.

"I'm not asking Braham," Cyna says firmly, "I'm asking you."

He huffs. If one really needed the meat, then a gun or bow was just more efficient, plain and simple. But in this case, neither of them did. It wouldn't go to waste either way, sure, but Rytlock knew why she was ultimately asking. It was the same reason they were drinking together right now; more fun with company.

He swirls the contents of his fourth shot, looking down at the amber bubbles with a low, droning rumble in his chest. Not a good time to negotiate something like this. Mind addled.

He finally looks back up, catching Cyna's hard eyes. "And Reeva already said no?"

Her teeth grind a little as she looks away. Another sore spot. "Didn't ask. Won't ask."

"Right." He places a hand down on the table and leaves behind a few silver, sliding his remaining shot Cyna's way. She gives him a side-eye before her fingers wrap around it.

“So,” she brings the glass up to her lips, “what is it, Tribune?”

“Why the hell not.” Not like she hasn't pulled him into considerably worse. He'd even ask Crecia to come along if he knew she was so inclined. It was more of a warband activity, anyway. But he already knew what her answer would be, so he'd save it. “When were you planning on it?”

She flashes him a toothy smile. “Couple days from now. I can hold back longer if you need.”

“Nah, that sounds good. Was getting too stuffy here, anyhow.” He'd have to sharpen his claws. Maybe do some stretches; wasn't too fond of throwing his back out again. 

But yeah, it was time to get out of Grothmar.

------------

She'd been kicked in the head. If she wasn't charr, she wouldn't be here anymore. 

As it stood, charr had very hard skulls. Had to. Headbutting was practically a sport among them. But a kick from a yak was still a different story. Cyna looked like she'd been in something a little worse than just a fistfight. The red drained down her face and into her ashy fur, speckling the snow beneath. By the time Rytlock helped her shamble to their makeshift camp, the bleeding had only just started to wane.

“Taste copper…” she croons as she looks around aimlessly, like she didn't realize her nostrils were faucets for the blood. Rytlock takes her snout in a hand and looks her in the eyes. She just laughs and pats his arm. “Rytlock. Your fur.”

“Shut up.” A growl drones from his throat as he shoves her back — not harshly, but enough that she almost tips on her already unsteady feet. She has a concussion. He didn't really even need to look to figure that out. “You idiot. I told you to leave that one.”

Her lips slide back to reveal more red as she gives a wide grin. “Wuz the biggest meat.”

The adrenaline and bleariness would wear off soon and she'd be a real hydra to deal with, so he'd just take her ramblings for now and give her the lecture later. As if it would do much. She had an elaborate history of instances like this before they'd even met — back when Rytlock was given more than a few reports regarding a certain soldier under his command that had a penchant for ignoring orders and almost always suffering some sort of bloody consequence for it, in the most literal sense. 

He thought it was a good riddance when she and the rest of her warband fled from Blood to Ash. Until Duke Barradin.

Cyna absently hums an old marching melody as her tail thrashes to the rhythm in the snow. Rytlock finds himself humming along as he grabs his pack and pulls out Sohothin, poking it into the embers of their nearly-spent campfire. 

“No weapons, no nothing — just fangs and claws,” Cyna had insisted before their outing. That was just for the hunt. But Rytlock would sooner shave his fur than go this far into the Shiverpeaks without some kind of weapon. Not for the dolyaks, but anything else that lurked around the corner. Icebrood still haunted the territory, even if their puppetmaster was now nothing more than spikes of ice spraying across Anvil Rock. 

Soon, the campfire crackled anew but still hungered for fuel. He sheathes Sohothin at his belt and sits back, looking over toward Cyna again, who had the wit about her to shovel some snow up to her snout — the chill evidently numbing some of whatever pain must be becoming more apparent. Her bloodshot eyes screw shut with the pressure of her hand and a quiet hiss weaves through her teeth. He lets a chuckle escape him. Just the small one that he won't feel too bad for, because he knows that this entire trip won't amount to much of a lesson anyway after they head back — at least until Dokks catches sight of the new crook in their commander's nose.

Rytlock sighs and pulls his pack to his feet. “Y’hungry?” he asks. She doesn't give any indication that she heard him as he rifles through his cargo and pulls out some jerky. His stomach growls, but only because his mind wanders back to the dolyak and whatever fresh meat they could've been roasting over the fire right now instead of the plain and dried strips he's chewing. 

Maybe he'd try fishing instead. 

He could count on one hand the amount of times he'd gone fishing in his life and actually caught anything. But it couldn't go any worse than this.

After adequately nursing her nose, Cyna soon turns to him. “Do you have any—”

“No.”

“The hell was I going to say?” she growls, though the noise sounds less intimidating through her injury. He continues chewing and doesn’t look at her gnarly features. Hopefully the snow will keep the swelling down enough for them to actually do something about it soon.

“I’m not giving you any damn booze.”

“So you did bring some.”

Rytlock gives her a plain look. “You gonna fight me for it?”

She huffs and whips her head away from him like a cub. The quick action must’ve smarted because she hisses again and her hand comes up to her temple. He actually would give her some alcohol to pacify the pain, but he wasn’t about to let her pair that with a concussion of all things. The snow would have to do for now. He takes another bite of jerky and tosses a piece to Cyna, who just gives a grunt of thanks in lieu of anything else.

It didn’t feel like it did when he was younger, when it was only ever for the rush. When your claws dig into the dirt and you put all your weight behind that leap. Your teeth sink in for the death strike and blood meets your tongue. He didn’t get as far as that last step but it didn’t really matter to him anyway — because maybe that’s what living at the helm of apocalyptic scenarios innumerable will do to you. It all tastes like ash.

Or maybe the remaining embers were all but spent at Anvil Rock.

With a groan Rytlock gets to his feet, feeling his age. He thinks he’d be content to laze here in front of the flickering flame for another hour listening to Cyna mope and complain, but the fire needs fuel. 

[cookinguptales]

ooooh love that 4 am chronic illness venting

sometimes I think the worst part about having a chronic illness is accepting that, in many ways, it will never be as good as it is now. I can be in awful pain, I can be exhausted, I can be barely functional at work and I still know things are only going to get worse. like. god. if I'm this bad at 34 how the fuck am I going to be when I'm 50?

I couldn't even get through one film festival. my hormones have been acting up since I got back to Philly, probably brought on by all the travel and stress about work, and I spent a solid two weeks with my ribs and hips dislocating and the first three days at the festival were just me being in so much pain that I would go to the restroom and cry between movies.

that's what having a good time apparently looks like these days!

and then my ribs start calming down just in time for a heat wave. 85 degrees. god knows I can't go out in that anymore, because this body can't do fucking anything right. okay, fine, whatever. then my period finally comes a week early, seems about par for the course with whatever the fuck is going on this month, and the endometriosis is so bad that I could barely get out of bed yesterday, much less make it to center city.

so in the end, I have so far made it to 4 of the 10 days of the festival, and I don't have much hope about the last two. I have to come to terms with the fact, now, that maybe I can't even handle film festivals anymore. I can't handle going into the city and sitting in a dark room for a week now???

I feel like I've wasted all this money on something I was really excited about, because I used to really love going to the film festival. but have we devolved to the point where I can't even do this anymore?

like I know that this month is irregular, for several reasons, but I can never depend on a month to be regular anymore! I can't plan a trip three months in advance because I don't even know how I'm going to be three days in advance anymore! do I just give up on making plans in the future? do I give up on looking forward to fucking anything anymore?

and I know that the mood swings are part and parcel of having pmdd (I had ~three~ panic attacks yesterday) but also like. god. at a certain point how can you handle balancing work and trying to have fun while your rib is literally sticking out of your fucking back. you can feel it! when you touch! my back!

and at what point does a mental breakdown become inevitable, dealing with that kind of pain? when you're also dealing with about five different work deadlines and you still want to make art but you have no time for it and when you finally have time, nothing you write is any good.

all that and I'm supposed to have fun, too? I feel like every time I carve out the least little bit of fun for myself this october, the month I am supposed to enjoy the most, I spend the next three days paying for it.

I feel like I just. I'm at the point now where I physically cannot leave the house ten days in a row anymore. I can barely handle three days in a row. I'm not even doing anything. I'm just sitting there, but apparently the act of taking a bus to a building and sitting in that building is too much for me now.

I know I've been kind of irritating to be around for the past few weeks, but I am just exhausted. and today I'm finally clearing the joint pain, I'm finally clearing the nausea and inability to eat (which of course makes me sicker), and I'm just. I'm so fucking tired. I can't even enjoy not being in (as much) pain for a few days.

and of course trying to scrape all this together, I haven't been able to clean the house, so it looks like shit and I feel like shit about that, too.

I don't know. some days when you have an incurable illness that you know is just going to get worse over time it's just. I don't know. it's hard to have any hope at all. I feel like I'm going to die alone in a filthy house because I don't have the energy to be a real person anymore.

like I go visit my parents and I'm always so glad to get home because I love them but I also need my space but there's always that realization that like. oh right, living alone is really fucking hard. some days I can barely even feed myself. I feel so useless.

I know that withdrawing from my friends is probably the opposite of what I should be doing right now, but it's also. I don't know, sometimes I feel almost ashamed to let them see me when I can't even pretend that I have my life together. like usually I can at least pretend that my body isn't weighing me down too much. letting people see me when it's very, very clear that I am hanging on by a thread feels far too vulnerable.

I guess some piece of me feels like if I let people see the awful underbelly of what it's like to actually be disabled, they'll be disgusted with me. like. sometimes disability is just we have to walk a little more slowly at the museum or I can only eat certain foods when we go out or I get way too chatty because I'm exhausted and I lose my filter when I'm exhausted. but sometimes disability is not showering for a week and a living room that's covered in garbage and unpacked suitcases and sitting in your bed and crying for hours. like. there's nothing glamorous about it.

I feel like I have to work so hard and pretend so much to even reach "tolerable" to other people but I'm not even tolerable to myself right now. even on my best days, when I can go out and hang out with people and pretend that I'm okay, I know that I will be going home to a messy house that I will never invite people to because it's embarrassing to admit that I live like that, not because I want to, but because I have to.

but I can't even do that anymore, I can't even go out for a few hours and pretend that I'm normal and well-adjusted and not at all a burden to my friends and my family and my community.

I don't know. I don't know. I'll be okay. I always end up okay. but I feel like having a chronic illness means mourning a thousand different opportunities you had to give up because you were home puking or whatever, and right now I'm mourning a film festival.

or at least the me that could go to film festivals.

[forsoobado137]

HIATUS

Hey guys I'm going to take a break. I'm really sorry but I'm just too physically and mentally drained to get out of bed anymore. I'm not in a good headspace, and drawing and writing has become a big challenge.

It makes me really sad, especially the drawing part. I'm worried about having rhumatoid arthritis since my mother had it. I feel like i'm wasting time by not drawing before it's too late, but I honestly don't have the energy/motivation to do anything I love anymore.

I hope that I'll feel better soon and return to making posts, but I might just stick to reblogging or something.

[breelandwalker]

Going to preface this by saying that this is something that has helped ME, MYSELF, AS A SINGULAR PERSON, and is not meant to be a blanket recommendation or a broader truth or any kind of medical advice. I am also not looking for advice of any kind.

I have a hard time finding the mental and physical spoons to exercise. I have a day job that requires me to be sedentary, a side hustle that requires a lot of mental energy, and way too much housework and home repair stuff to deal with. All this plus ADHD. Between the battle with executive dysfunction and the energy needed to get through all my Have-To's, adding one more thing to my weekly routine or making time to go to the gym is just not an option.

But at the same time, I've got 40,000 miles on this chassis and a history of health problems in the family, so I need to be taking care of myself.

So what I've started doing is adding little bodyweight exercises to my day while I'm at work. If I'm sitting, it's arm circles or leg raises a few times an hour. If I get up for something, it's squats or wall presses. If it's lunchtime, it's a lap around the building. All stuff that gets me moving, engages muscles that aren't getting used enough, and can be done quickly more or less anywhere.

I've managed to turn this into a habit using an app, alongside reducing the sodium in my diet and eating more fruit, and I'm starting to feel less tired and more limber. I still have trouble with fatigue sometimes, but this routine change does seem to be sticking, which is a big win for me. Plus I don't have to waste money on gym fees and then feel bad when I'm too tired to actually go and use the equipment.

It's no picnic hitting your forties and realizing you have to start paying serious attention to all your bits and bobs because the warranty is DEFINITELY expired by now and you can't just ignore your blood pressure anymore, especially because three bouts of COVID have done a number on your heart and lungs. While I'm not going to turn into a fitness model or pick up jogging anytime soon, it sure was nice to go to a LARP event and not feel winded after combat.

Turning 40 ain't easy. But it damn sure beats the alternative.

[bloogers-boogers]

Ok so since I can't be anonymous anymore it's time I reveal myself so hello, ur literally my fav artist! Here is the image

Firstly I want to say that it still baffles me that I'm ur fav artist, I'm super flattered but also very grateful, thank you!! That makes me emotional 😭💖💖

Also, in regard of your ask, these are the three main ships I like! 💕

I have hc of each one of them, but I feel it would be a long ass text, but I will try to sum them up for you in the shortest way possible!

Kyman: a bickering hate/friendemies/friends/love romance that pretty much begins with the two disliking each other from the start of their friendship bc of their very different opinions and the way to handle things. They are equal! Mentally and physically; they have different reasons to put their skill and intelligence for, which is why they fight a lot. Kyle would use these qualities for good or right while Cartman refuses to use his abilities for the right and rather go for the wrongs. Their strength is basically based on what they find necessary to do. Cartman is seen as weak when it comes to confrontation (mostly with Kyle) but if Kyle were put himself in trouble all that weakness is vanish, he is strong af, he's just lazy and has no need to put it to use unless it's Kyle in danger. When it comes to Kyle however he uses it to correct Cartman or save him, but normally he doesn't feel the need to waste his energy on punching Cartman when he's his usual neutral dumb self (just one punch and he knocks him out).

Also they're very similar in the way they act; Kyle is just more easy to shrug off while being around an actual menace with no shame. The perfect example of the same coin.

A odd pair that throughout the years developed a bond and trust like no other duo to how obsessed they are with each other. Very obsessed. And yeah, conflict feelings, they fall in love and are even more obsessed with the other but more relaxed. Obnoxious but relaxed nonetheless.

Stendy: Their first and childhood love/highschool sweethearts! It's starts as innocent and cute, then the type of careless and "toxic" you'd expect from literal kids; which is why it's hard to expect much seriousness from it. They care for each other a lot! But unfortunately they have lots of breakups until they finally just had enough (I hc Stan ending it for good in six grade!) But the pair falls again throughout middle school but refuse to make any advances besides just enjoying being friends. They find comfort in their company. Highschool changes that after a long period of being good friends, secret pinning and nervous outbursts. Stan confesses again but this time they're both sure of what they want and starts taking their relationship seriously. They decide to put their relationship on hold while going to college and agreed that if the other no longer had any feelings for the other after reuniting again they would just end things peacefully. Ofcourse, theirs some dating here and there but they find their way, again, to each other. They can't help it, they just have that chemistry, the type that's hard to let go. Nostalgic, maybe? Warm and at home feeling. They get together, have a couple of dates and get married immediately. Cartman thinks it's gay tho.

Kenrietta: their relationship is based on rituals and curses! Mostly Kenny's curse~ Henrietta actually starts getting along with Karen after the little girl couldn't stopped looking for her in advice of her new goth phase and ofc looks up to her. So Henrietta just accepted her around, eventually however, Karen would reveal to her about her "guardian angel" which she would eventually just talk endlessly about him. She then told Henrietta it was mysterion and that's were Henrietta would blurt out "the poor kid?" (I hc that the goths know who mysterion is) but yeah, ofc Karen laughs it off guessing Henrietta was just assuming and let's it go. She meets Kenny when the bastard literally crashes inside her window (firework incident, typical main 4 shit) during a ritual with her friends and Karen. He greeted them causally as he walks dizzily to the center of the ritual unaware of whatever thing they were doing. Kenny gets sacrifice during that! And the next day it was like nothing happened until Henrietta and the goths start feeling some weird connection towards Kenny and they assumed it had something to do with the ritual 'that Kenny messed it up for them and ran off from'. After all that, they drag Kenny's ass into their mess (mostly Karen had to convince him) and eventually start hanging out with them thinking their dark stuff was cool. Eventually getting closer to Henrietta, falling in love first and telling her also about his curse. She believed him oddly enough for his surprise! But he was very grateful unlike with his friends who didn't believe him at all. And yeah that's how their thing started. They have their own thing going on outside the other so they're not together most of the time, but their closest friends and family know they're a "thing". They're not possessive or the slightest clingey type, they understand if the other is in need of space and will give it if necessary. They're pacient, very pacient with the other if they're acting "dumb" and will never back off to point out their bullshit if they're being dismissive about it. They have a lot of dark humor too.

Sorry if it's long! But if there's another ship you're interested in me doing just ask! Those are just personally my main ones Cx

[frickfatphobes]

Any advice for how to accept your body and it's needs for someone who's gained a significant amount weight over the past decade and a half? I wasn't always as big as I am now, when I was 20 I was around 130-150lbs but around then I started taking a medication which has lead me to steadily gaining weight to the point I am now in my mid 30s at around 410lbs last time I went to the doctor. I've read up on fat liberation and it seems pretty clear to me that losing weight is unrealistic but sometimes it's just hard to accept that this is how big I am now. I look back at pictures from back in the day and remember how easy it was getting around, how I could spend all night out and never get tired. These days I can barely go grocery shopping without becoming exhausted. I've debated getting a mobility scooter but it just sounds so defeating but deep down I have a feeling it's what my body needs. I've tried light exercise and though it's improved my mobility some I still have some trouble getting around and still need to take breaks to sit down when walking longer distances.

Sorry if this is a lot I've just been thinking about this lately my bodies just gone through much change compared to when I was younger that I'm looking for some outside input.

No need to apologize. I love receiving asks like this and I'm happy to share my thoughts! Of course I'm no expert, but I'll do my best to provide good advice based on the information you provided here.

There are many challenges that come with accepting one's body, especially when it's more than just aesthetics that are affected by a person's size or weight. Fat liberation, as fantastic as it can be at healing someone emotionally or mentally, cannot change physical or mobility-related difficulties.

I've had an experience lately that reminded me that there are many fun things I used to love doing that I can't anymore, because the world refuses to become more inclusive to accommodate people like me. And you may think that your case isn't about inclusivity, but it might be somewhat related. Maybe you could still be able to spend a whole night out if you didn't have to waste your energy looking through a million places to find one that will accommodate you, or have large or comfortable enough seats, or don't force you to park super far away from the bar or club you want to visit.

And more importantly, you never should have been taught by media or parental figures or friends that using a mobility device means you're giving in to defeat. That is internalized ableism. Regardless of a person's weight, they should never feel weak or guilty for being accommodated for, even if they "don't really need it." (If it's preventing pain or exhaustion, it actually IS a necessity.)

Now, all that being said, I'm going to do my best to give you some advice based on what I've read here. Please remember that in the end, you know yourself and your body better than anyone else does, and if any of the advice feels wrong to you, then please take it with a grain of salt.

First, I think you should absolutely consider getting a mobility aid. You don't have to use it all the time, but if it will help prevent pain or exhaustion, it's worth looking into. You don't deserve to be tired or hurting all the time.

Second, if exercise helps you, keep finding ways to move that you enjoy and that feel good to you. The benefits of exercise cap out at around twenty minutes a day, and it doesn't even have to be consecutive. Don't ever push yourself past your limits or continue if you're in pain. Despite popular belief, exercise shouldn't hurt.

Third, keep looking into fat liberation. It has helped my mental health a ton. The best way to be happy with your body is realizing that there's nothing wrong with it as it is now, even if it often feels that way because of the constant bigotry around you. It sucks to get tired more quickly than you used to, but you can absolutely still live an amazingly fulfilling life without your body being the way it was.

Whatever you do, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't allowed to use a mobility aid or live happily in your body as it is. You deserve to feel joy without having to lose weight first.

I hope this helped at least a little bit, and I hope things get better for you.

[deans-baby-momma]

Secrets & Desires- Part 1

A/N: Please let me know what you think! Reblogs and likes are nice but feedback is better.

Sam has been keeping a secret from Dean. For a while now - it’s killing him but he doesn’t know how to explain it to his older brother. How do you tell someone you’ve looked up to your whole life that you’ve finally found someone who gets you; who has the same sexual energy, desires and fetishes? And that she’s older. 

Dean would probably not bat an eye, even be proud of his little brother for a moment. Until he found out who Sam has been sneaking around with. And it all started with one little phrase during a case. 

2012

“Do I have to use my ‘mom voice’?”

Jody Mills was not someone Sam ever thought of in a sexual way. She was a friend, a fellow hunter but when he returned to the first floor after finding Dean’s note and the sheriff actually used her ‘mom voice’ on him, it did something to him. 

Sam wasn’t going to pursue it. He thought she was just being a caretaker, looking out for him because she saw how exhausted he was……and maybe she was but even after they retrieved Dean and went their separate ways, Sam couldn’t get the image of Jody being Mommy for him.

When Crowley almost took Jody’s life in a bid to get the Winchesters to stop trying to close the gates of Hell, Sam decided it was now or never. He was going to make a move, but before that could happen, the trials almost claimed his life.

The next time they met up for a case, Sam could barely look at Jody. The dreams that his imagination had conjured up left him wound up about the woman who’d lost almost everything. And when Sam and Dean signed the chastity vow, he figured he probably needed to just forget everything.

Until Jody said something when they figured out Dean was boning the chastity group’s counselor, Suzy, a reformed porn star.

“I’d like to whip his tail for thinking with his dick instead of his brain during a case!”

Sam couldn’t stand it anymore. So as they stood in the remnants of Dean and Suzy’s abduction, Sam pulled Jody to him and kissed her soundly before uttering, “You can spank me anytime, Mommy.”  

"Sam?" Jody says incredulously, making Sam want to shrink into oblivion.  Had he read the situation all wrong? Was the vibe she was emitting completely innocent and he just made a giant mistake?

"Oh god Jody," he begins pulling away. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sam Winchester!" Jody scolds, shutting the tall hunter up. She wraps her arms around his waist and places her hands on his ass. "I would love to use my crop on this ass," she tells him with a quick squeeze. "Fuck, I bet you could bounce a nickel off that."

Sam feels himself blush at her observation. But he mentally pats himself on the back because he had been correct, she was into the whole Mommy kink - or at least ready to give it a go. He smiles as he plants his hands on her cheeks and leans down and captures her lips again.

Jody wastes no time allowing him entrance between her lips. She had been attracted to Sam for years. He just exuded confidence and security and she had thought she sensed a bit of a kinky side to him once or twice. 

Now she knew what he was into, she had no problems being that for him. She couldn't wait to see the big, strong, brave hunter become submissive and complacent in her bed.

The kiss seemed to become a battle for dominance but Jody knew just what to do to gain the upper hand.  She slid her hands down Sam's back and once again cupped his buttocks before lifting her right hand and landing a solid smack on his left cheek.

Sam moaned into her mouth, giving her the advantage to take control. Once air became a necessity,  the two pulled apart and Jody looked up at him through her lashes. "There's more where that came from," she teased. 

Sam opened his mouth to respond but with an inhale, he got a slight whiff of Dean's cologne and remembered the case.

"As much as I want to continue this," he said remorsefully. "We need to find my brother."

Jody nods and steps out of the embrace, but not before locking Sam in a commanding look  "Once we find Dean, you come to my room and get your comeuppance. You understand Mister?"

Sam's dick twitched in his jeans at the assertiveness. The authority in her voice made him want to obey, like a good little boy. 

"Yes ma'am."

Once they discovered the monster, a Roman goddess named Vesta that was kidnapping and killing virgins, the hunter and the sheriff learned that the only way to kill it was oak stained in virgin blood.  They also learned from a staticky and short phone call from Dean that he and the others were being held at an old farm near train tracks.

With an oak stake dipped in the blood of one of the chastity group members, they arrive at the farm and hunt for the goddess and her victims. 

In a bid to save Dean and the others, along with Sam who was knocked unconscious,  Jody goes up against the monster - getting stabbed herself.

Still, she used what strength she had left to kill Vesta and save them all.  Jody Mills wasn't going to have more deaths on her conscience, especially that of her friends and possible future lover.

Only that would have to hold off, as she herself was too injured to participate in those types of events.

While Dean was off checking on Suzy and the others, Jody  and Sam concluded that as soon as she healed, she would call him.

"I'd tell you boys to stay out of trouble," Jody says later in the Winchester's motel room, looking from one to the other. "But what's the point?"

Dean hugs her and thanks her for bailing him out. She hugs Sam and then takes the bag he hands her. She glances at Dean to see he has turned his back on them so she whispers, "I'll call you. Be a good boy."

Sam subtly nods and is rewarded with a wink and an air kiss. He watches as Jody walks out the door. 

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam  @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @leigh70 @crownoflillies1

[positivityforlesbians]

I hope all is well. I wanted to say that your blog has made me feel inspired and hopeful, and I hope that one day you will return.

Thank you for your message, I was away from social media for my mental health and just to engage more in life. I needed to find a balance and I hope I'll be able now to redefine how to use my time more effectively on social media, I don't want to doom scroll and waste time anymore. I've been pretty busy, regularly going to gym, trying to focus on what's important. Positivityforlesbians is still important to me, knowing the positive impact it had and still can have in the future, I'm not leaving you gals anytime soon even if it's less active. The goals and the ideals behind this blog are strong and the fight for our community continues.

So yes, I'm now seeing your message after more than 6 months of hiatus (which weren't planned, it just sort of happened) and I'm answering you to tell you all is well, thank you. I'm very glad to know that the blog made you inspired and hopeful, as really it's what awaits for us out there, beautiful positive things. It's the energy we need to see, to receive and to pour back in the community we're building more everyday. It's not just on social media and internet in general, positivityforlesbians is also here to encourage to be this force in real life, showing our haters that no matter their efforts, we're the ones who are going to lead our own community. 💕

[desceros]

🦷 ⇢ Share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on? I'm always looking for wisdom to hoard

🌿 ⇢ Give some advice on writer's block and low creativity please? I'd love to know how you get around it

🦋 ⇢ What is something that's been on your heart and mind lately?

And soft 🧩 (As in I already asked three and you don't have to include this one!!) ⇢ What will make you click away from a fanficfion immediately?

I'm glad I finally got to participate in one of these! I tried to grab ones I didn't see you answer already!

hi hi hi!!! these are fun, aren't they? i don't do them very often but it's fun to open up a bit hehehe c: i did already answer the writer's block one already, so i'll skip that one

🦷 ⇢ Share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on?

i think one of my most powerful pieces of advice for people is to be weird. don't waste your time and mental energy managing someone else's reaction to your words, actions, or habits. things like. i want to write this fic but no one will read it because i suck/it's weird/it's too kinky/no one's into this show anymore. who cares? you want to write it, write it! i have things in somewhat strange places in my house because over the years, i've found the places where i Think about things, and if the thing i'm thinking about is There when i think about it, i'll do it! is it weird? fuck yeah! i get odd looks all the time when people come over. but who cares? it's my house, and it helps me live a better life. i tell the weird joke that only makes me laugh. i listen to the music that makes other people go eugh. i dyed my hair weird colors while working in a conservative industry. i'm so fuckin weird!!! but i'm also happy, and the people in my life are here because they like Me for Me, not some person that i pretend to be in order to fit in.

🦋 ⇢ What is something that's been on your heart and mind lately?

hmm. thinking about changing jobs. not sure what i want to do. making it to the end of the day without having done anything towards fixing anything about it, day after day after day. annoying. hey, everyone, quick, pay me to write turtle smut

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

i don't like things in first person, but that's true for novels as well, so i'm not sure i think it counts as a fanfic-specific thing. i have a moderate tolerance for some grammar issues, but if they're egregious i'll back out. same with characterization i dislike; i'll tolerate some, but at a certain point i'm like ehh i'm just not the right audience for this (see my argument on how ooc is a concept i don't agree with). if there's a fic with heavy angst, i scroll to the end and read it first. if it isn't satisfying to trudge through all of that emotional heartbreak to reach that ending, i give the fic a pass. for reader fics specifically, i'm not big into oc/ fics that call themselves reader fics but aren't. think... written in third person, and they're named, and they have a physical description, like... my dude, that's an oc. which is cool, go you. but i don't wanna read your oc/ fic. i clicked on a reader/ fic, i want to read something in second person.