So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.
Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.
Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:
What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?
What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?
And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?
Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"
Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."
Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"
It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.
Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.
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It is WILD to me how many people just loudly broadcast their intention to scab, as if that isn't the fastest way to brand yourself as someone who will throw anyone else to the wolves in an industry that runs on collaboration, so every writer say it with me
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Thinking about the nastiest, filthiest, most depraved sex with Jason. Visually, it's kind of violent, but really, it's not; you just need each other very carnally. There's no salvaging the clothes you were wearing, and the ones you wear over the next few days will have to cover you up enough so you don't get mistaken for the victim of a mauling. It didn't matter, though, didn't matter if you looked like you'd been hit by a truck or were brought to the brink of death and revived because nothing mattered when he was balls deep in your soaking cunt.
Every single time Jason hit that sweet spot deep in you, you felt like you were on the verge of dying and ascending to the great beyond. The edges of your vision go dark as you leave deep bloody scratches anywhere you can reach, refusing to be the only one who looked like the victim of a violent crime when it was over. Your legs shake uncontrollably as he draws another earth-shattering orgasm out of you, making you slip further and further into the light.
You always come back to him, though, the out-of-body experience ending when he bends you into a new position, whispering in your ear how good you are for him. It would happen again, and again, and again until you were sure you were gonna die on him or something, sure that every stroke of his cock was gonna be the one to take you out. Death's cold, clammy hands never touched you though, just Jason's warm ones wiping drool from your mouth, and lightly tapping your cheek. "You still with me?"
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