#I'm not drunk

[maenecoon]

soooo eeepy rn but would be funny if i made a fic kim has a quarter life crisis on the gym mate while toils in g with chay!! kim was trying to teach chay to self defense when chay looked at kim in a way that made kim's heart stop and immediately he was like "fuck this guy is way too dangerous for me" and immediately pins chay head first into the mat because he cannot confront the mortifying ordeal of Being Known and possibly perceived well and being the object of someone's affection!!! would be a silly funny idea that ends up with kim fucking chay into the mat, i think that's soooo funnnn!!

[tagedeszorns]

The Cheesiest of all

When you are diving deeper into the Warhammer-lore and -fandom, you'll inevitable will reach the point, when you are getting a little more salty, a little more mellow and maybe a bit more settled, relaxed and sometimes even fragrant.

You will take a liking to at least one of the major cheeses in the 'verse.

You will start to understand any of these three guys or maybe all of them.

You maybe will even start exclaiming "Get off my lawn/Croneworld/tombworld/part of the Warp!"

The tired-guy-i-fication has set in!

[xxjack099xx]

Hiii, I maed a PowerPoint presenattion to show u why i wan tthat tall skellyton in me life!!1!!!!1!

Rate form "i love papryus platonicaly" to "iwant his boens in my closet"

(btw this is how the file is named, it stands for "Papyrus Perfect Partner PowerPoint Presentation" and i think it's funny)

[wistfulpoltergeist]

Hi Eugene, You probably have been asked before, but do you take commissions to make custom sims?

Hi, sunshine! I'm gonna be honest with you - I'm not mentally compatible with commissions :D It's SAD! But it's true. Maybe... If I pass 564343 hours with a psychologist and they'll exorcist this miserable feeling out of me every time I her "Commissions" word, make me pure and boosted like Captain Ukraine - I'll come here and say: COMISSIONS ARE OPEN! But not till then. Not till then, alas!

😘

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

[wanderingaldecaldo]

If there's one thing you should know about me, I'm sentimental. Give me any excuse and I get nostalgic. What better excuse than the end of a year?

Just over a year ago I wrote one of these posts while riding high from posting the final chapter of No One's Gonna Love You, talking about the friends I'd made in fandom and generally hopeful for the upcoming year, even if that hope was misguided.

I won't pretend 2022 was a good year, but the friends I made last year were the ones who helped me through the worst of this year, and I found out that I'm stronger and braver than I thought I was.

A few weeks ago, I reblogged one of those "say something nice" memes because I like to do them. It's an easy way to boost someone's mood, plus I get a chemical boost from the act of appreciation—and let's be honest, it's always nice to read the tags if someone reblogs it from me. But I was taken aback by the kind words from so many. Through everything that happened last year I tried to remain true to myself, and it warms my heart that so many of my mutuals and friends from Lizzie's see me for who I am.

And at the same time, I am constantly reminded that I still have work to do to become the person I want to be. That being wronged does not provide me an excuse for hurting others, and that cynicism is the antithesis of gratitude. I don't "do" resolutions, but that is something I can get behind—less cynicism, more kindness and grace.

With that said, let me raise my metaphorical glass to you, followers and mutuals, DILF lovers and Moxes and dearest of friends: May 2023 be filled with light and love for all of us.

[boyakishantriage]

"You scared kid?"

A single human. Sure she'd hijacked a tank, but no matter. The rescue-

She threw his bodyguard beside him. Cocking a primative device, her arms shattered as she threw a blade through her leg. Looking up, dear in the young fish's eyes. His line were cousins to a superhuman lineage on Terra, he rose. Grasping the spear from the wall.

"Well alright. We fight in the old way."

She drew back her sword, taking a stance in the hall as the guard were pulled aside by the shadows.

Blades met, sword catching Trident as she slammed the weapon down. The water recoiled to her grasp, titanium forced from the waters into a steaming weapon as she kicked the young Lord's hand. The youth screaming as she sighed. Drawing her newly forged weapon.

"You're-"

"No. Just some pirate."

Black magic, illegal because of it's nature of requiring pain and suffering. But a loophole. If I grew pain out of those who had struck the empire hardest, they could not prosecute such under hurting others.

So, those of the sea who struck down ships with powers of the dragon kings. Well, just some pirate huh?

The young fish whined, hand healing by the ocean as the Terran struck ground, the rake boiling and simmering in her hand as it morphed. A broad farmer's tool, a forward hoe, edge sharpened for war with one side made to work as an axe. Metal formed across her shorter weapon's arm and chest, metal hissing against her body as the youth growled.

"Angry kitty."

Insolence. A human had invaded our realm and taken-

The sea, waters swirling and striking to the call of a prince. My son was alive, and clearly calling for help. This. No, pride comes later. The king called out to his father, the old dragon rising its head as it snapped fingers. A command, 500 soldiers to follow the mark. Immediate, protection of royal family. In other words, national security raise 500 soldiers to heed for their nation.

Blades met, Trident striking as it met curled rake, weapon drawn down to counter as the prince danced away.

"Not bad footwork."

That. Was surprising. She were still advancing, both hands on rake as she swung the large weapon like a hammer.

"Same to you. I- presume-"

"no. The. Elders. Died, you lot killed them."

The weapon slammed against the bubble, the woman electrifying the water back into the bubble as she used the shaft to parry the trident. Catching the weapon, she swung. Axe head blunt as it threw the guard into the sand out the bubble.

"You lot?"

"yeah- Your folks on... Terra. Killed the elders when I was tracing some old stories."

Her weapon morphed, the weapon lightening to her body, blades appearing on her arms as the weapon extended across her body.

"... I doubt-"

A blade sliced across his neck, beard sliced off.

"Doesn't matter. Hurt my kid, I kill you. Now die."

Weapon clashed, broadsword narrowly evaded, as a trident was thrown. Pinning the prince's weapon to the ground. Laughing, she slammed the ground.

"EXVONI, POMANU WQUALKCYER"

The ground erupted in lighting, her body steaming as the water became electrified. The sphere expanding as she rushed forward, grasping the pinned weapon, boot slamming it down further as she ran in for the kill.

A blade caught hers, the guard having recovered enough a trident blocking the weapon. A bare glance in both surprise and delight, a grin as she pushed the weapon down. The prince letting go of his as the two weapon slammed against each other, body morphing into an aquatic demon form. Claws, man, red eyes of wrath and gluttony. Pride, the thing howled. Roaring into the ground, aquatic wings erupting explaining her response as she grasped her head. Howling down, the sand shifting to stone. The bubble erupting as lighting erupted across components.

Madness, a beserker's rage.

[queen-of-meows]

I had sake for the first time in my life today ^^

[s0up1ta]

"so grunkle ford how do you know bill?"

"... that's not important."

[jennyyyeeettt]

I know I sound drunk. I'm not drunk, I'm on 3 hrs of sleep. Sorry not sorry. It will happen again.

[ckret2]

I'd like to think Bill was projecting in the paragraph on hibernation.

(fun fact! every color in bill's clothes, breakup recovery objects, and furniture were color picked from ford's body! yes bill did get a leather couch the same color as ford's flesh!)

[hardtchill]

I'm going to hell, i laughed when my commentator talked about them not using real doves anymore because in 1988 the doves flew into the olympic flame and were roasted

I'M SORRY but holy fuck that is funny 😂

[bunnions]

something something katsuki can't keep his hands off you when he's had a little too much to drink (see: denks the worst at-home bartender in the world, believes a shot of vodka really means four).

it starts off innocently enough, gathered in eijiro's living room, when he cracks a foul-mouthed joke and you double over into side with laughter. the heat starts to creep up his neck, but it's easy to blame it on the alcohol. he nudges you back playfully, a grin quirking at the corner of his lips.

two more shots of whatever vile concoction denki mixed up and he's melting into the couch. he's sitting on one end, a little squished with how mina, eijiro, hanta, and denki are piled on top of each other - chatting away, drinking, and desperately trying not to make eye contact with the wasted blond. katsuki's got you perched all pretty in his lap because "there isn't any room left to sit." a convenient excuse.

you're flushed and trying to keep up with mina's story and you're having a great time with your friends but katsuki's hands are looping casually around your waist and pulling you closer to him and he's leaning a little on you for support and you feel a zing speed down your spine as his lips brush against your arm. an accident.

his head's a little fuzzy, but katsuki's practically melting with the alcohol swimming through his veins. and you're so soft it's making everything even fuzzier. before he even finishes that thought he's testing out the plush of your waist, your thighs, pinching a little at the small of your back, and back down to your thighs. you squirm in his hold, and he retaliates with a soft grunt and by biting what he could reach.

the spit on your arm is more uncomfortable than the rather tame bite he gives you. you can see his eyes wobble, flitting to different parts of your face. "hol' s'till," he garbles and your heart leaps into your throat. you can feel four sets of eyes boring into you both, but you can't break away from katsuki's heavy, lidded, lovesick gaze.

[i-ate-the-rats]

hehehehe oh shit indefinite sad dark shadow (⊙ˍ⊙).

[pseudophan]

anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)

[inkwell-god]

For the benefit of the horny frog, I am not drunk. I write down "the things" when "the things" manifest, and then I post a batch of "the things" when enough collect