#I'm not dead just tired as an adult

[hylaviridis]

My addition to the canvas's creative art process : )

more drawpile d&d stuff

[joezworld]

Have you done anything regarding Lady of Legend yet? Beachy Head? I wonder if Lady still sees themselves as a 4900, or if Beachy Head has any fuzzy, vague memories of Great Northern days.

That's a great question, and one I answered (checks notes) 3 years ago.

The TLDR is that Lady of Legend is very mad about her current life circumstances and fully sees herself as a Hall-class, thanks very much.

As for Beachy Head... it's a bit harder to suss out. They used a lot of ex-GNR bits (and LBSCR bits too) but for those to still be usable today they basically would've had to machine the history out of them. Whether anything not of this time comes spilling forth out of Beachy is something that will only come out with time.

[harmonybarmy]

I would assume that misty is going to kill and eat showtunes so I want to forgive her for everything, but since it seems like she just became showtunes 2.0 I simply cannot.

[doppelnatur]

If you find a known autism trait grating and annoying that's literally fine just maybe don't boast about it online jeez.

[sensitivegoblin]

My sisters boyfriend is being a massive dick and I just have to sit by and watch her cry

[nothiing-g]

Google how do I cope with the fact that I can't have a screaming crying throwing up level breakdown where I beat the fuck out of myself without my roommates institutionalizing me

[pibsboots]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

[returntotheground]

what if i just put my head in the fucking oven like actually why the fuck not at this point

[konkuuritobye]

eventually maybe i'll feel like being on tumblr again but right now i'm having way more fun with discord/wire rp lmao

[doux-amer]

This has been one of the shittiest days in a while and to top it all off, I go on social media for the first time today right before bed to relax and the first thing I see (well, second after my friend's response to a bday message to her) is a dongseng I haven't talked to much or seen in years dropping a post about his announcement with no comment whatsoever. The news wouldn't have been any easier, but to get that from someone who doesn't fucking understand how devastating it is even though she must know that it's sad is the worst possible thing. What the fuck am I supposed to do with you dropping that? I don't want to give you a response! I don't owe you a response! Get the fuck away from me! I don't care that you didn't want to upset me because what the HELL did you think would happen by doing that? I'll send some crying emojis and a broken heart and that's so goddamn empty, but I'm not performing this for you and this is actually upsetting me so bad????? But I wouldn't expect a casual fan of a club that will go unnamed to understand. This isn't just sports to me.

If I had to get this news, I wish I saw it from someone who loves Jürgen as much as I do, whose life was irrevocably changed for the better because of him, who was here in the Before Klopp times, who never had a manager to love as much as we love him. And look at me managing to make myself tear up again.

I understand. After watching the clips on IG and that second one especially...he wants to leave while he's okay, he wants to leave on good terms and if possible on a high note instead of being kicked out after overstaying his welcome, he wants to enjoy life. And he so deserves that. He deserves to know what it's like to just be Jürgen, to be with his loved ones, to do nothing but to simply live. I have so much respect for him that he's going out this way, that he didn't take this decision lightly when he felt differently before (that renewal he signed...), when it's not about how much he loves us. Or rather, it is because he wants to give us his best and his all and he feels that he can't anymore and he's listening to his body and his mind. And he's setting a good example by showing what's really important in the end and taking care of himself. To show there's more to life than this and to be grounded and be a normal guy like he remained throughout even as his life became very abnormal.

God. I love him like I've never loved any manager before. The ones I loved pale in comparison to him. He is and will forever be everything to me, not just for what he gave to the club on the pitch but everything off the pitch from the values he instilled and emphasized to his humor and honesty and big heart and humility and passion and everything, and I'm just so gutted right now thinking about how we had almost a decade with him and I never took it for granted, but I really thought we had a few more years with him. And I thought several years ago about how much I needed to return to Anfield to see how things changed, to experience Jürgen's Liverpool on home ground, and how now that I had a job and steady income that I would be able to go to more matches or at least do it once before the end. And I didn't because of this stupid pandemic. All of that passed without a chance and just. I'm glad I got to at least watch them in person when they came to the U.S. even if it's not the same, but I feel like our time has been cut short and I really can't imagine a Liverpool without him. I never wanted to. I know that there will be because that's the nature of this sport and life and this sport has taught me there's always a beginning and always an end, but...nothing's going to be the same. Nothing's going to be like this. There will never be an era like the one we got under him. There will never be a manager like him.

[chaosandmarigolds]

My favorite thing about Simon Riley (at least how he is in my head ya know) is that he's either on top of it like he knows you better than anyone else-

It was just a regular Friday night, you had been out with some friends and probably drank a bit too much for anyone's comfort, so with a sigh of defeat you called your boyfriend (who you had pinkie promised you wouldn't need to call, because you are a mature, well adjusted, adult) It was late but not very so the phone only rang once before he picked up.

"Good evenin princess."

"Si?" your voice was a bit rasped and the lingering sob in the back of your throat didn't help your case, a cryer is what your friends called your more drunken state, "I...Lil too much."

A pause and you hear the jingle of his keys, "Ten minutes. Stay on the phone with me, yeah?"

"Mkay, is' cold outside."

"Why are you outside, baby?"

"Ji-Jill got an uber- said-said I couldn't come. an-and the bar sai-said I can't go back inside...they were so mean."

"Fuckin Jillian-" You hear him mutter and then his voice goes back to its regular level, "Baby I want you to go back to the bar and tell them that I'm gonna be there to pick you up in a minute, is's snowin out here."

A short pause, "And I know the guy at the door scares you but I need you to be my strong girl and go back inside, yeah?"

Or its just, he's oblivious until the very end-

You were currently running a hundred-and-two fever, your muscles ached and everything in you screamed at you to sit down and take a nap. However, your boyfriend just got back from deployment and you were determined to make sure everything was perfect for him. And, thus far, it was- you put on some makeup to make yourself look alive and you just resigned to not speaking a lot, or eating. He didn't seem to notice, about forty hours back into being home and everything was perfect! Aside from the lingering feeling you may just drop dead at any moment.

So at that moment, you sat on the sofa with him, his arm wrapped around your shoulders, your hot skin covered by your hoodie and the hood of it pulled over to hide your face as you had aptly nuzzled into his side. You felt like death.

Yet in Simon's mind he thought you were just being a blushing school girl, excited about his return and a bit flustered by it. Until he dipped his head down to press a kiss against your forehead.

"The fuck?" He muttered as he moved his hand to your forehead and tugged down the hood to look at you, "Why're so hot?"

You gulp down and shrug your shoulders, "Jus little sick. 'M okay."

"Girly- your skin is burnin up." "Okay?" "How...have you bee' sick this 'tire time?"

"Really feel fine-"

"Lair."

A pause and you look down, "Only little bit."

(annnyway thats it <333 comments and all that jazz make my day)

[syrinq]

again life loves hitting me in the knees and then snapping my shins in half by throwing a wave of unfortune my way by the most stupidest and inconvenient means possible

not even by affected friendships or broken bonds or whatever but by first killing my barely-1-yo-tablet by giving it the gift of image ghosting, during the great timing of my first membership subscription to artfight

then life loves pissing on my obliterated legs by shoving a bug underneath my desktop monitor out of all fucking things, only removable by slamming an electric toothbrush at it and hope for the best, OR by unscrewing the whole fucking ordeal, OR by dealing with permanent ''dead pixels''/''haha so funny it's a bug! i'm a quirky redditor and i love posting overused jokes in a stupid reddit thread'' for the rest of my life until i get a new monitor

[inkskinned]

you get used to it, but it's tiring, because they need you to understand your own life as a series of goalposts. what college are you going to, what's your major going to be, whatcha gonna do with that, oh where will you settle down, when can i expect grandkids.

for the longest time my goals have been so blurry that they track into each other, their undefined edges slipping quietly back into the soft night. today i want to be a writer; tomorrow i will want to be a doctor, later i will wish i took that law school free ride. how the fuck do people just know what they want to do with their life?

where do you want to be in five years? i want to be alive; which is a huge step for me. ten years ago i would have said i want to be asleep and meant i hope that i'm dead by then.

but i want a yellow kitchen and a stand mixer. i want a garden and a fruit tree (cherry, if i can make that happen) and a big yard for my dogs to play in. i want to come home and read poetry out loud to someone and have them close their eyes to listen. i want a summer watergun fight. i want to make snowmen. i want to be the house to go to for halloween. i want my life to settle around me in a softness, for it to lay down gently. if i am very, very, very lucky, i want to travel; finally go someplace overseas.

of course i don't know what i want to be doing professionally. what i actually want to be doing is curling up beside my dog, settling in to read. i want to be making myself a cup of good coffee.

i can't answer the other questions. whenever people asked me what do you want to be when you grow up, i used to say i hope i'm happy.

i hope i'm still kind, five years from now. i hope i never get jaded and mean. i hope i have stayed in therapy. what do you picture yourself doing? when will you actually be an adult about this? why are you so afraid of being ambitious?

am i not ambitious? the other day i rearranged my furniture which doesn't quite fit into my apartment. i watered my plants. i'm going to try to propagate a cherry seed. my five year goal is to spend more time laughing. to lie down in a patch of sunwarm moss. to relax for a minute. to close my eyes and think oh thank god. this is why i stayed. this is finally it.

[haruchi-slit]

"CAUGHT!"

・❥・synopsis: Jjk men catching you masturbating...

warnings: Toji's part: mutual masturbation and use of adult toy! | Gojo's part: rough fingering and biting! | Suguru's part: dirty talk, and cunnilingus! | Sukuna's part: teasing lots of teasing, pet names: whore/slut/little princess, and denying orgasm! | Choso's part: masterbates while watching you behind the door|Shui's part: fingering, and dirty talks!

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Toji:

after running errands from the store, your boyfriend decides to come home earlier than you expected, but to his surprise, he comes home with no people inside the house, it was dead silent, but until- he heard soft whimpers his ears perked up, dropping the plastic bags on the counter to investigate... "pumpkin?" he calls in a low groan, slowly approching your shared bedroom.

"mffngh..~" a muffled moan! his ears perked up once again, he walks slowly, moving his right hand to the bedroom's door knob- and what does he see? his beautiful girlfriend having fun without him...he opens the door, enough for him to get in, you jolt by his sudden appearance, "Toji!" you gasped covering yourself and the vibrator on your hand "having fun, without me?" you shook your head side-to-side, you can feel your cheecks heating up from the embarrassment.

Toji clicked his tongue approaching you, "what's there to hide anyway? I've seen you longgg before" he chuckles, "should've told me though?" he adds. You couldn't move nor talk, "Oh well" he stood up about to leave,

"W-Wait!" you said, making Toji raise a brow,

"yeah?" he asks- "help...help me" you whined looking him with your pretty doe eyes.

"That's what I like" he says with a smug smirk.

and now look at you,he's got you in a meannn mating press, knees reaching your shoulders as he tops the tip of his cock on top of your clit- as he held the vibrator under the covers, placing it on top of his tip, the vibrator, vibrates in a uncontrollable speed, that it seeps vibration on your pretty abused clit, "f-fuck!" he groans pressing the vibrator harder, "T-Toji! slow it down!" you yelp...only for him to chuckle "can't do princess m' a-almost close f-fuck-"

He's loving how your toy make him throbbb so muchh.

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Satoru:

Gojo is tired talking with the higher ups and also eliminating curses it's been weeks since he saw his wife- so before going home he decides to stop by at his favorite shop filled with sweet delicacies to share with his wifey.

"Yeah, and one of those" he says pointing at the matcha flavored cake. he comes home carrying shit ton of sweets dangling on his arms he unlock the front door and hurried to put the sweets in the fridge so it stays fresh before he calls his wife to munch on them later- he strides across the house until he's in the living room he saw his wife's head peeking from the couch so he sneaks quitely to surprise her but to Satoru's surprise he finds you on the couch, legs spread wide open and right hand going up and down your clit, occasionally teasing yourself. Satoru was so taken aback that he couldn't speak!

"damn it, why can't i do it like satoru?" you sigh, you stood up accepting your defeat you turn around and saw Gojo motherfucking Satoru you went pale, pale as a paper.

"Oh hi...welcome home?" you whispered- tugging your sweater to cover you panties.

"Thank you honey...but- I'm too shock to speak and also why didn't you tell meee?" he says with flustered face "i could've helped you earlier if you sent me a message or somethin'" he pouts, your embarrassment rose and made your cheeks bright pink- "You're busy s-so i didn't sent a text or called i was-" you stuttered, Satoru approaches you slowly, cupping your face, you tried to avoid eye contacts but he held your face, to face him directly, "whenever you're needy just say so, y'know you're my top priority" and with that, your lips collides. Satoru slowly laid you down on the couch, prying your legs open then finally removing your panties once again. Satoru spits on your cunt watching it roll down on your entrance, he latches his lips on your cunt lapping it like a wild animal combining his slender fingers going in and out in your walls--

he really missed you- so fucking much.

"Sat- fuck!" you yelp as the speed intensifies, he kisses your clit- rubbing it he lets out a gasp. your body's already so sensitive. he goes up to kissed your lips that soon rolls down to your collarbone- he bites it like it was his favorite sweet before sucking it and leaving a red mark he repeats it over and over until you're covered with his marks, some of it bleeding he goes back to your pulsating cunt,

rubbing it in a circular motion before letting his pants pool down to the floor with his boxers. he throws your leg on top of his shoulder then letting his cock slide in your warm walls, "feelin' good now- shit, baby?" he asked " m'yes yes sat! fill me s'good" you slurred eyes literally seeing other dimensions as he bucks his hips at a intense speed

Damn he missed you sooo much.

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Suguru:

"Babes I'm home, just finished dropping off the girls to school ready to shop and meet with satoru and the others?" Suguru calls out but no one answered. he looked thru the kitchen, bathroom, closet, garden and even the dining room but you were no where to be found, but there is one room he haven't checked, the master bedroom, and he was right! you were there- but what are you doing?

masturbating...

"Y/n?.." he whispered enough for you to hear.

"Suguru!" you respond, covering yourselft with the nearest pillow beside you, "I-I'm soo sorry- I'm just so stressed with work, the-the higher up were asking me to do tons of-" you stutter, you're so nervous, you're afraid that suguru will see you differently, Suguru was stunned- but he isn't disgusted nor angry- instead he feels sad- sad that he didn't gave his sweet fiance what she needs- sad that he didn't get to fuck the stress out off her body.

"Babes- chillax... it's not like the first time i seen you" he coughs "masturbating.."

"How- What? you've seen me?" you asked "yes- it's not like i don't do it too...i understand that work at jujutsu tech is overwhelming sooo it's understandable baby, c'mon let's fuck that stress out your body, hmm?" he smiles with a assuring aura, gentlely crawling on top of the bed. but oh boy! that assuring aura soon fades away, and lust controls, his eyes darkned obviously blinded by lust-

"you like it when I'm like this yeah?" Suguru chuckles, removing the blanket covering your soaking cunt, he lays with his chest and pulled your thighs closer to his mouth, he places his hands to your stomach carefully holding you in place. he's eager to fuck that stress out off you, as soon as he got the chance to eat your pussy, he latches his mouth- pressing his lips on your cunt, tongue targeting your bundle of nerves everytime he licked your cunt dry.

what a nasty boy he is.

you squirmed a lot so he tighten his hands around your stomach "keep it steady babes, can't you see I'm having my meal?" he say, raven dark hair tickling your thighs as he nuzzled his nose against your clit.

for fuck's sake it was fucking heaven!

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Sukuna:

It was early and the morning, and you're needy- you cunt was dripping wet as it pulstate around nothing, you woke up with heavy breaths, you're eager to find your husband- whose no where to be found in the room, so what did you do?

you took care of it yourself.

"fuck-" you cursed under your breath massaging your puffed clit only for the door to swing open without any warning!

oh oh...

you're met with sukuna's four eyes slowly scanning you. "what were you doing?" he asked raising a brow as he clasped his set of arms, "...not-nothing!" you squirmed around the bed, "lies... you're a liar i can see it behind your doe eyes.." he responds, yet another protest escaped from your lips,

"come on little princess you, can not decieve me with your puppy, doe eyes- were you pleasing yourself while i was doing my tasks?" he ask once again "and you better not be lying.." he adds, you rose up from the mattress and shamefully nod-

"use your words" Sukuna demands as he lifts your chin to meet with your lustful eyes-

"yes- yes i was masturbating...I was just needy and i couldn't find-" he shushed you up

"your confession, was all i need" he kisses your forehead and then he lifts your petite body on to the mattress, you're so small compared to him. he slowly unties your kimono, just enough to tip you over the edge, he cups your face "such a needy little whore are you not?" he'd tease occasionally rubbing your clit painfully slow that it burns-

"Kuna-" your breath hitched grabbing his hand to press it hard on your clit. "ah ah, no.." he scolds as he uses his other set of arms to pin your arms above your head. "sukuna-ah!" a yelp rolled out off your tongue- as he keeps teasing your clit, middle and pointer finger going in and out your cunt- it was nasty, as well as the squelching sounds of your pussy sucking him in, he keeps on rubbing tight circles in your cunt- then kissing your lips so rough that it feels good- you could feel your climax brewing in the bottom of your abdomen- "look at how you pussy sucks my fingers- fuck it's so drenched with your juices" he mused- and he was amazed you're close and he knows it so he intensifies the speed of his fingers matching it with kisses around your body- "Ffffuck-!" you screamed almost cumming but Sukuna won't let that happen.

"Ryomennnn" you whimpered as he distanced his fingers from your swollen clit.

"That's your punishment, spoiled slut" he says as he lick off your juices out his hand then pressing a kiss on your forehead.

what a meanie.

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Choso:

"Is there someone else or notttt- cause i wanna keep you closee~" Choso hums as the elevator dings- the elevator then opens to your floor leading to your apartment, "I don't wanna lose my spot, cause i need to know if you're hurting him- or you're hurting me~" he continues to hum as he unlocks the door he lets his tote bag dangle on his biceps- as soon as he enters he drops off his things on the coffee table near the door before shutting the door he then removes his headphones hanging on his neck, before calling you out "Honnn m'homee" Choso walks to the bedroom guessing that you didn't hear him calling. upon arriving he sees the door slightly open, he had the urge to not swing it completely to peak on what you were doing and to his shock you were masturbating!

his eyes widens as he covers his face, his embarrassment rose as he peaks eagerly, you were bucking your hips against your fingers, slowly letting your cunt suck you fingers in.

he instantly felt his pants tighten as his cock grew further, he pushed the door slightly enough for him to see your leaking pussy, palming his cock in the process, he can hear your moans, your whimpers and that squelch your pussy makes everytime you put your fingers in. "choso-" you moan- imagining it was him that's touching your hungry cunt, and that tips Choso to the edge, unzipping his pants to give friction on his throbbing dick-

his breath hitched, he really wants to fuck the shit out off you with the nasty thing you're doing right now but there's something stopping him. he stayed quite watching you roll over and hump on the pillow rubbing your clit lustfully as you slurred his name out your tongue.

what a pervert.

He rubs his pre-cum all over his tip, rubbing his cock up and down as you rub your cunt he swear he almost drooled at the sight, he rubs his cock faster resulting his climax and damn in chance you also came. (soulmates fr!) his cum was all over his clothes. he peaks once again you were breathing heavily- after you came down from your high you stood up and put your underwear and leggings- when he saw you standing up he hurries to zip his pants in and ran in the living room.

you walked in the living room seeing your boyfriend whose sweaty and flustered

"Chooo you're homee- since when?"

you asked nervously. "just-just got home.." he says with a upsidedown book on his hands.

malewife choso.

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Shui:

You've been flicking and massaging your cunt for a couple of minutes now but still couldn't bring your self to orgasm "Fuck!" you exclaimed "you done?" your ears perked up hearing someone spoke behind you.

"Oh mother-!" you jolt as you see your boyfriend leaning against the doorframe.

"Can't cum?" he chuckles as lifts you up infront the big mirror in your bedroom.

"Wanna learn?" he adds you couldn't speak so you nod eagerly, his right arm grabs your cheek to face the mirror "m'kay" he guides your hand on your pussy circling it around the labia then pressing it hard on your clit, he nuzzles on your neck whispering that you're such a nasty girl,

"you couldn't hold back,hm?"

"didn't wait for me and had fun yourself?"

"fuck, just keep on moaning darling.."

he whispers on your ear as he guides your fingers to go faster- you were trembling, trembling with pleasure! soon after you climaxed your fingers was covered with your cum you nuzzled on Shui's biceps as he drags your hand to his mouth to suck your fingers clean.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

a/n: ok I'm sleeping kidding- erm it took me 19 days to finish this shit bro?? nahhh my procatinating shit is ABOVE average ugh I hate myself anyways do you guys want part two? (Ino,Nanami,Higuruma,Kusakabe,Ijichi) and if this flops I SWEAR!

[luxaofhesperides]

Final hour Ghostlights request! Soulmate AU where when your soul mate dies your soul mark expands. Duke was really heartbroken at first but now his soul mark makes it really difficult to keep his secret identity hidden because he is covered in a map of the cosmos. He has to use his shadow powers almost constantly to keep all the stars hidden! And and maybe they light up like actual stars when he uses his light powers.

He meets Danny at orientation or something at GU and they brush against each other and he just lights up like a supernova, all his stars literally blazing and he's just like "YOU!" Both excited and also OH MY GOD YOU ASSHOLE.

....I rambled a bit here I'm so sorry.

The thing about soulmates is that you don’t really know who they are until they die. And even then, most people never know who their soulmate was, only that they outlived them.

Duke became one of those people when he was thirteen. 

He didn’t even notice until he went to change and saw the watercolor swirl of nebula spill out from over his heart. 

One moment, he was tired and angry, ready to sneak out of his latest foster home to search for his parents and do all the things adults have failed to do. The next, he’s collapsed on his knees, shaking, unable to breathe as he tries to rip his soulmark off of his skin. He couldn’t think past the shock and horror of realizing that his soulmate is dead and Duke didn’t even know until that moment. 

They’ll never get to meet. 

Duke had never felt so alone before. 

He spent the next few days in shock, his mind a mess of static, unable to focus. He hid away in his room, buried under the covers, and his foster parents were understanding when he whispered my soulmate’s dead. They called him out of school and brought him food and water throughout the day, gentle encouraging him to eat something every few hours. 

But disaster waits for no one, and Batman was gone, so Duke pulled himself out of his misery and hit the streets again. 

So his soulmate’s dead. So his parents are gone. So Gotham’s falling apart.

No one’s doing anything about it, so it’s up to Duke to start fixing things. It’s not like he had much to lose.

Soulmates become a bit of a taboo topic to him, after that. He speaks of them to no one, avoids all conversation about them, refuses to stay when people talk about soulmarks. He tries not to look at his soulmark at all.

And then he takes a hit to the chest and patches himself up with shaking hands. For the first time in months he looks at his soulmark again and…

Did it… grow? 

Duke prods it gently, letting out a hiss when his bruised ribs protest at the movement. He remembers the mark being right over his heart. 

But looking at it now, it branches out, swirls of galaxy and constellations reaching out along his ribcage. 

Panicked, Duke grabs for his computer and looks up soulmark growth and webmd soulmark abnormalities.

Neither give him any answers, though WebMD helpfully suggests skin cancer. 

“I’m gonna ignore this,” Duke decides, and pulls on a shirt and goes to sleep. The less he thinks about his dead soulmate, the better. 

Time passes and Duke goes from being a Robin to being the Signal, a legitimate vigilante working with Batman. It’s nice to see Gotham start to settle, things falling into place. For once, nothing is awful; Duke’s found his parents and doctors are looking for a cure for long-term exposure to Joker Gas, Batman’s taking care of Gotham with a number of other Bats, Duke is getting used to his powers and slowly making a good name for himself out on the streets. 

He keeps his focus on protecting people and getting stronger, helping solve cases with the other Bats. No one mentions soulmates, so he keeps his ever expanding soulmark a secret. 

The only problem is that it keeps growing and Duke is concerned that it’ll move to a place he can’t easily hide under his clothes. 

And he does need to hide them. The more his soulmark has grown, the more obvious it is, especially when he uses his powers and the stars on his skin light up like the Fourth of July. He knows it’s abnormal, but it’s also his soulmark and he doesn’t want anyone, least of all Bruce, poking around trying to study it. 

The grief still lingers when he looks at it, but Duke has long since grown used to it. If anything, these days he’s quietly annoyed by how far the galaxies on his skin spread out, forcing him to take tank tops and shorts out of his wardrobe. 

There’s also the tentative hope that maybe his soulmate is immortal and keeps coming back to life after they die. And they must also have terrible luck, because they just keep on dying.

Case in point: his soulmark flares and spills out onto his shoulder and wraps around his bicep. It’s not the first time he’s seen it move, but it still startles him.

“Are you serious,” Duke mutters to himself, pulling at his sleeve to adjust it and hopefully hide his soulmark. The starts are bright against his skin, and while sometimes he likes to trace them with his finger, now is not one of those times.

As pretty as it is, his soulmark is also very obvious and will cause people to realize his identity if they ever catch a glimpse of it while he’s out as Signal. 

He sighs. There’s no choice but to live out the rest of his life in hoodies and sweatshirts. 

As if to spite him, his soulmark grows once more. 

Did his soulmate just die twice in the span of five minutes? That’s concerning. 

He wishes he could meet them just so he can shake some sense into them. Maybe tell them to stop dying since it’s stressing him out so much. Maybe stick by their side to make sure they never have to die again. He’s honestly not sure what he’d do if he ever meets his soulmate, but he has to do something. This has gotten out of hand.

At least seeing his soulmark grow doesn’t hurt as much as it did a few years ago. 

Lazily, he pulls at the light around him to hide the new portions of the soulmark on his arm from sight. It takes some focus, but he can hold it up long enough for him to grab a snack from the kitchen and retreat up to his room without being questioned by anyone. He could probably even keep this shirt on for the college orientation he needs to attend later in the day if the light works well enough to keep his secrets hidden. 

He’s expecting Alfred in the kitchen when he arrives, but is greeted by Dick clapping a hand on his shoulder, right where his soulmark has claimed space. Duke falters and works to keep the light from fracturing as he returns Dick’s grin. 

“Hey man,” he says, “What are you doing here? I thought you were out until Friday.”

“And miss a chance to hang out with you? No way. Besides, I wanted to give you a ride to your orientation.”

“You don’t have to,” Duke starts, only for Dick to cut him off.

“I’m going to,” he says, as if it’s a threat. “It’s been too long since we get to spend time together without a mask on. Are you really going to deprive me of this?”

Duke shakes off Dick’s hand from his shoulder, walking towards the pantry to find a small snack. “I guess not. It’s going to be pretty boring for you, though. I’m just going to listen to people talk about what college is like for a few hours.”

“We could always just walk around campus afterwards. I haven’t seen it since it was rebuilt after the last time Freeze attacked it.”

“Sure, that sounds fun. Thanks for offering to drive me.” Duke pulls out a box of Poptarts hidden behind stacks of pasta boxes and pulls out a pack for himself. He opens it and isn’t at all surprised when Dick steals one right out of his hands. 

“Meet me out front in an hour then.” 

And with that, Dick leaves, his stolen Poptart in hand, and Duke is left to shake his head and shove the Poptart box back into its hiding place. He heads off to eat his own snack, making sure no one is in the hallway as he lets go of his hold on the light. Already he can feel a migraine building with the immense focus he had to use to make sure nothing looked out of place.

At least Dick didn’t notice anything was off. If he can fool Dick, he can fool anyone.

Still, just to be safe, Duke changes into something with longer sleeves before he leaves and hops into the car with Dick. 

The drive goes quickly to the tunes of ABBA, both of them singing along as they head for the GCU campus. Parking is a bit tricky, but they manage to find a spot a street away and walk towards the student union, where tables are laid out for incoming freshmen to sign in and grab a folder filled with papers meant to help them. 

He waves to Dick and heads in once he gets his folder, and grabs a seat in the auditorium that’s close to a fire exit. 

It takes another twenty minutes for the presentations to start. The lights dim and Duke panics for a brief moment before drawing the shadows over himself lightly to hide the soft glow of the star etched onto his skin. 

They start with introductions, bringing in advisors, professors, and student ambassadors. Most of it is basic information that Duke already knows, so he zones out and plays with some shadows at his feet, where no one can see the way he twists shadows together like some dark magic form of finger knitting.

For the next hour, Duke halfheartedly listens to people talk about preparing for classes and keeping on top of schoolwork and learning how to ask for help. He’s saved enough college students that he knows the gist of things, and the orientation really doesn’t give him anything helpful. 

He probably could have skipped, but he wanted a normal college experience. 

He should have known that normal means boring as hell.

As soon as the presentation ends, an advisor encourages everyone to follow the schedule tucked into their folder to give them a half day modeled after a typical student’s schedule. Of course, all the classes are nonsense just to fill up their time, made to help freshmen coming into the college by covering topics such as how to write an email and an introduction to majors and minors.

Duke already declared himself as a Human Services major, his first step into becoming a social worker like his mom was. 

Also he totally knows how to write an email, what are these advisors on about? Do they really think people his age can’t write emails? 

Yeah, he’s ditching. The main presentation is really the only part that matters in the orientation. He’s not walking out on anything he needs.

Duke files out after the rest of the crowd, carefully letting the shadows slip off of him once he’s outside again. Instead of finding the first ‘class’ he’s supposed to go to in the Modern Languages building, he wanders off to find a quiet place he can sit down and wait until Dick finds him. 

Tucked away towards the back half of the campus is a small nook full of trees, bushes, and benches. Judging by the amount of cigarette butts left in the single trash can there, it’s a popular smoking spot. 

No one’s there, so the air is clean and free of smoke, so Duke heads in, hoping to sit down.

Someone else apparently has the same idea. He hops down from one of the concrete planters that’s keeping a bush contained and nearly falls on Duke.

They both shout in surprise, then Duke is moving without thinking, reaching out to steady the startled looking guy who accidentally jumped down in front of him. 

Duke only has time to take note of how blue his eyes are before his hands wrap around the guy’s wrist and Duke feels his soulmark flare with warmth.

In the shade of the trees, the glow of each star on his skin is obvious. It’s visible even through the fabric of his shirt. His soulmark, at this point in his life, stretches across his chest, his ribs, his back, and now his shoulders and upper arms. All the stars in that watercolor galaxy are shining brightly as if the night sky has been draped across his body.

Soulmarks only react like that for one reason.

“You!” Duke shouts at his soulmate, both elated to see that he’s alive and annoyed that he made Duke’s soulmark so large. “Stop dying! Do you have any idea how much stress you’ve caused me?!”

“Oh my god,” the guy says faintly, eyes fixed on Duke’s chest where his soulmark originally rested, shining brighter and bigger than any other star, as if he’s tucked a sun into his heart. “Oh my god,” he says again, with more feeling.

“I’m so happy you’re alive, but please stop dying. It’s bad for my health.”

“I think I need to sit down?”

He does look very pale and faint. Duke tightens his grip on his soulmate’s arms and guides him to a bench, gently sitting him down.

“You’re not about to die, right?” Duke asks. “I don’t think my heart could take it if meeting me killed you somehow.”

“No, no,” his soulmate manages to say, “I’m not going to die. Um. Wow. I didn’t know my soulmark would do that? Sorry.”

“Well, it’s not like you had any way of knowing. It’s all good, man. Just please stop dying.”

His soulmate winces. “Yeah, that’s not gonna be possible. Sorry. Again.”

What does that mean, though? What does it all mean?

“Can I maybe get an explanation as to why you have to die again.”

“Mmmmm no. We just met and it’s kinda personal so. No.”

“Dude.”

Duke’s soulmate shrugs helplessly. “It really is personal! I know your my soulmate and all, so I’ll probably tell you one day, but right now I don’t even know your name.”

Oh shit. He’s right. Introductions completely slipped his mind, too busy reeling over the fact that his soulmate is here and alive. Which, honestly, would be enough to throw anyone off balance.

“Shoot,” Duke says. “Sorry. You just really caught me off guard. Hi, I’m Duke, I promise I’m more put together than that.”

“Hi Duke, I’m Danny, and I’ve apparently been traumatizing you for the past few years by making you think I keep dying.”

“Well. At least we’re thrown head first into the crazy. Best way to know if we’re be a good match.”

“You sure you can handle this? You seemed pretty frazzled a second ago.”

Duke flusters and lightly whacks Danny’s shoulder. “That’s normal! Anyone would do the same when meeting their soulmate for the first time!”

“Fair enough,” Danny laughs. “This is a totally weird request and you can absolutely say no, but… can I see?” He presses a hand against one of the glowing stars beneath this collar bone, looking up at Duke with wide, hopeful blue eyes, and Duke finds it so cute that he’s willing to do anything Danny wants. 

“Here,” he says as an answer, pulling the collar of his shirt down a bit to reveal the nebula spilling onto his shoulder. 

“Oh,” Danny breathes, tracing a light finger against it. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’m guessing you like space?”

“Love it. I wanted to be an astronaut, but uh…. It’s never going to happen. Health problems, you know?”

“Well, I know it’s not the same, but I hope the stars you put on my body will be a good enough replacement.”

Danny cheeks turn red and he turns away, flustered. “Don’t smooth talk me right now, I’m not ready for it,” he mutters, bringing up a hand to try to hide his expression. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Duke laughs, “I’ll try to keep the flirting down to a minimum. It’s just really great to finally meet you. And I’ve been wondering, what’s your soulmark look like?”

“Oh, well…” Danny fiddles with the long sleeve of his shirt. “I had a pretty bad accident years ago that kinda affected how my soulmark looks. So if it looks weird, that’s why, okay?” He takes a deep breath, then pushes up his sleeve, holding his wrist out to Duke. 

The first thing Duke notices is the soft yellow glow, Signal yellow to be precise, running down his arm as if sunlight fills his veins. Then he sees Danny’s soulmark, a sun with rays that wrap around his wrist. And running through his soulmark are Lichtenberg scars, glowing yellow as if stealing the color from his soulmark. 

“Guess we both got super obvious soulmarks, huh? At least we kinda match, that way.”

“That’s one way to look at it,” Danny agrees. 

“Man, what a day.” 

Danny looks more relaxed with him now. It’s much better than the startled, tense version of him that first sat down on the bench. Duke hopes he chooses to stay with him; he doesn’t admit this often, willingly, or to other people, but he’s a romantic at heart and has always wanted to live a happy life with his soulmate. It’s still far off in the future, but he hopes Danny feels the same way.

“So, are you ditching the orientation classes to?” Danny asks.

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m going. I mean, a class on how to send emails? They can’t be serious.”

“I know, right?! I saw that and thought I was being pranked. I mean, we’re going into college. We better know how to send an email by now.”

“Since we’re both free for now, wanna grab lunch with me? It can be our first date, if you want.”

“I’d love to! And you can show me around Gotham a bit. I’m coming here for college, but I haven’t really seen the city yet. It’d be nice to explore it with someone who knows where things are.”

“Are you free for the rest of the day? ‘Cause I wouldn’t mind showing you around, if you want.”

Danny smiles, radiant. “I am. I’m in your hands for the rest of the day.”

“Cool,” Duke says, trying not to think too much on that wording. It’s very suggestive, very flirtatious, and he’s looking forward to getting to know Danny more so he can start properly flirting. “Lemme just let my brother know to not wait up for me.”

He pulls out his phone and sends Dick a text that just reads: met my soulmate. going on a date now. i’ll see u back at the manor!

Then he puts his phone on silent and tucks it back into his pocket. He’ll tell Dick all about this later; for now, all his attention is on Danny. 

Soulmates get priority, even stressful ones that give him the largest soulmark he’s ever seen. 

And right now, he’s on a mission to find the best lunch spot to take his soulmate to for their first date. Everything else can come later; for now, he’s going to enjoy the time he gets to spend with Danny.

He hopes they’ve got a future together as bright as the stars in his soulmark. 

Despite it all, Duke is sure they’re going to be alright.

[qcomicsy]

If batkids had a podcast XVI

Red hood: Just us today?

Nightwing: Just us today.

Red hood (laughing) I wonder why–

Nighwing: Dude– (laughing as well)

Red hood: I–

Nightwing: Dude don't do it–

(just both of them chuckling)

Red Hood (close to the mic): They're grounded.

Nightwing: (CACKLES)

Nightwing (crying): This is not funny

Red Hood: This is hilarious.

Red Hood: Were last survivors of our kind. . .

Red Hood: Adults.

Nightwing: Adults.

Red Hood: He can't ground us anymore.

Nighwing, chuckling: He can't ground us anymore

Red Hood:

Red Hood: Fuck.

Nightwing:

Red Hood: We're b– (pause) We're both the oldest now.

Nightwing: Yeah– You, me and–

Red Hood, at the same time: Yeah– (pause) This is so surreal

Nightwing: You think?

Red Hood: Yeah. Dude – I was. . . I was the youngest.

Nightwing: Oh your sweet summer– I was a only child.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Nightwing: It really isn't that weird to me.

Red Hood: Really?

Nightwing: Yeah– I was always the oldest man.

Nightwing: I was the oldest of my team

Red Hood: What?!

Nightwing: Yeah!

Red Hood: You're fucking with me.

Nightwing: Nah man– I was the oldest. I am the oldest, I'm not dead.

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're older than Arsenal?

Nightwing: I'm older than everybody man.

Nightwing: People look at me and assign me to take care of children.

Red Hood (imitating Damian voice): "Father genes"

Nightwing: HA– "father genes" (pause) Why are you looking at me like that?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: You're ancient.

Nightwing: IM NOT ANCIENT.

Red Hood: You're older than the Teen Titans, fucking older than Young Justice.

Nightwing: You're older than Young Justice

Red Hood: I was dead man it doesn't count.

Nightwing: Of course it does– How old are you?

Red Hood: How old are you?

Nightwing:

Nighwing: I– I am an adult.

Red Hood: Uh-huh.

Nightwing: In a reasonable age.

Red Hood: You're in your thirties aren't you?

Nightwing: NO

Nightwing:

Red Hood: You look like you're in your thirties– The bag under your eyes

Nightwing: Because I'm tired????

Red Hood: The hunched posture.

Nightwing: Hey I do not have hunched posture– Fuck you.

Nightwing: You try to take care of an entire team of teenagers just to end up taking care of more two and a grown ass depressed middle aged man.

Red Hood: That was Red–

Nightwing: That was Red. (pause) I would have fucking killed him.

Red Hood: Oh Definitely.

Nightwing: Point still stand man I'm tired.

Red Hood: Both of us.

Nightwing: Both of us– (chuckles) Robins if you're hearing this I love both of you and I would do it all over again. Titans– (closer to the mic) You know what you did.

Red Hood: (Cackles)

Red Hood (closer to his mic): You know your sins.

Nightwing (laughing): Flash owe me 30 dollars.

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