#I'm not allowed to go to the library
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I love getting emails and announcements from teachers about new rules being put into my school that are very clearly ableist and not being told if I will be an exception to these ableist rules or if I'll have to keep forcing myself into smaller and smaller boxes to be a "better disabled person" by fitting into ableist one size fits all rules.
#this school makes me feel like I'm fucking dying#i already barely get through school days#and now there's new rules and they're being cracked down hard#I'm not even allowed to go anywhere in the school unless it's an ''emergency''#which means absolutely extreme pain and really really needing to go to the bathroom#I'm not allowed to go to the library#I'm not allowed to go the counselor's office#I'm not allowed to go the bathroom or the nurse#unless i fit the very all over the place standards of what an emergency is to each of my teachers#of which i have eight. and i don't know if one will let me something but one won't#i love feeling like I'm being tossed around by every new rule#tw vent
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my 'hey yes we have an all-consuming brainrot going but let's try and do something actually productive this week that I'm having off of work' project is sorting through my bookshelves, rigorously throwing things out (little miss I own over a thousand books in my one-room apartment is reaching the breaking point aka I'm finally and utterly running out of space) and i think i threw out almost a hundred books today and it's still not anywhere close for sorting shelves by genre without having to stack and put things second row. how am I supposed to live like this
#*mine#mona rambles#I've already put a book buying ban on myself until i catch up with my tbr of owned books#unfortunately for me then tolkien took over my brain so while i /am/ only more or less buying my 2 allowed books per month#they're all his stuff and I'm not making a dent in said tbr at all while also having very little hope that this is going to change anytime#soon#i do have a rough sorting now by like....#fantasy / other fiction / queer + feminist + antiracist theory / other non-fiction / poetry / classics / philosophy / language + travel /et#but it's really more of a suggestion and really testing the limits of like.... shelf space lmao#i'll have to catalogue all of it too once i'm done to see what my actual tbr is at and like. man. terrifying#but also i just think someone should pay me money in exchange for 5-50k words per month so that i can move and have a library. it's time
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4/1/25
Today I:
-enjoyed the final morning sans parental units before they returned from their short trip to Florida (read: smoked a bowl in the sunshiney backyard at like 10:45 am)
-realized that finishing writing my current wip section couldn't happen on the same day as reading and processing the book on my to-do list necessary to inform the writing, so I adjusted my plans and still even wrote like 250 words of an intro paragraph + some notes to help me write tomorrow before I need to return this imminently due ILL book ahead of the snow storm
-went on a cold and brisk 8PM full darkness walk with Jules and Lulu. idk how long it's going to take me to adjust to being back in the eastern side of the time zone but it's going to take more than this winter. clearly... i miss u late evening sunlight in cincy!!!!!
#personal#good things#drugs#The Book#Lulu#I'm only allowed three (3) ILL books at a time through the county library#y'all#i miss my department library so bad. US (not Athens) Blegen Library u are everything!!!#best classics lib in the states. one of the best in the world. rip to my daily access to it even when i actually legit hated going there#lmao#anywayyyy#realistically the earliest i can get back to cincy to use the lib (+ OBVIOUSLY SEE FRIENDS) is the fall and i am Gunning for it#and will hopefully bring Jules back with me this time too#we miss it :'(
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were there any pre canon concepts for adrien's/felix's room? i hate the canon one so much the layout confuses me
Afraid not. I think the closest we have is the information that Felix/ Adrian's family owned a hotel (this is before he was made into the villain's son.) A lot of early and even current ladybug is pretty focused around Marinette. Nathan-Felix-Adrien as a character is shockingly inconsequential to the narrative as a whole. (Which is probably why he was so easily edited throughout development whereas Marinette stayed pretty consistent.... And is also apparently still the case from what I've heard of the recent season.)
You can actually really see a lot of the inspiration that it transferred to the agreste mansion... But it also lost a lot of style and flair. Richard had a lot of art deco inspiration in the buildings associated with his character. And you can kind of see that in the hotel piece here. It's all connected, at least I believe it is.
It makes sense that the current one is frustrating. It's a mix between " oh this is what a fabulously wealthy teen boy would like" being full of video games and literal arcade machines, but still having like no personality? Like it's big. Because Adrian is rich. And it's like... Largely undecorated because Gabriel is like a minimalist or whatever... Except for all of the stuff that Adrian has because he's rich. And that's literally the end of it.
Edit: If I were to fathom a... A room that does line up with that hotel era then I would do something like this, except with more whites and golds rather than blue... Or just tailor it to however the cat's relationship to his father is.
#It's like go one way or the other man#is he overprotected and not allowed to express himself? then give him the bare bones room with nothing but the bookshelves.#or is he spoiled and sheltered where he can literally do whatever the fuck he wants to his apartment-sized room.#I never particularly like depicting Felix as a character who benefits from his father's wealth#largely because I'm caught between that crossroad of not really wanting to depict a rich character#but also you can't divorce that from Felix's narrative and still indulge in him being related to Richard#my favorite depiction is that sure his family is rich. But his father is also incredibly strict.#Felix gets the bare minimum. he gets a room. he gets a bed. he gets a desk. And because Rich is a generous soul... A bookshelf#but this isn't your house boy. And if you want to live here then you have to live by my rules and you have to fulfill my requirements#he has no rights to privacy. he has no rights to a space of his own. he has no rights to pick his hobbies. not while he's living there#and it's all painted in that bright white because if anyone's going to be a minimalist it's going to be Richard Sphinx#no wonder Felix likes to escape into books or hide at the library or spend his time in the park#no wonder he takes so easily to being chat when his life is like this#in Stark contrast to private Jets and literal yacht vacations and the best toys that daddy's money can buy energy that Adrian gives off
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GHHHHHHH THERE'S NOW AN AMTGARD CHAPTER IN MY CITY. I HAVE A FEELING I AM GOING TO BE VERY AUTISTIC ABOUT THIS IN THE COMING MONTHS
#im working on a bard character his name is doremi faustus#kinda wish i went with a different class because of the skill ceiling but w/e#i cant wait to post him here but i'm struggling with his garb--#i've just requested a library hold for a book on renaissance fashion#but i also kind of want to go for a 60's-70's renaissance revival look?? if they'll allow it. i gotta ask around#this is basically my first exposure to larp gOGUhgsgh im so excited#amtgard#birdy rambles
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Featured - me, fully certain I will make this craft in This Exact Sequence, with These Exact Pieces, and Do Not Need to label or set things in particular order or prepare or anything:
Me, a fool:
#So anyway the lid piece is looking independently beautiful but the Problem with that is that there was Meant to be another ugly conjoining#piece under its skin Before I made it beautiful on all outsides#So it's a lovely singular puzzle piece with all the corners shorn off from the still-needing-to-be-assembled puzzle#This is not the end of the world I can simply add the less aesthetic piece to the exterior of its pretty skin but it will be Less Pretty#It is Not my favourite But!! This is my first attempt at This Kind of craft and I allowed myself to not know what I was doing#So even tho I was Totally Convinced that I would do it Even Better than the instructions I was using#Such is the hubris of man#Genuinely tho I think it's turning out nice for basically being like 75% scrap :)#Finally got to use those failed Vargas covers cough remind me to measure at some point#That said I've done basically no measuring for this and I enjoy that very much lol#If not for the Order of Events I would be at zero miscalculations! Everything was so going to plan!!#Anyway I need to go to the library and do some printing and pick a colour to use as backing but hmngh I'm out of black and grey#I guess I could double up with white but I'm running low on that too!#Project has gotten totally out of hand lol ♪#Taking it slow - clearly not slow enough lol - but still enjoyable even over the course of A While to complete :)
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The urge to literally spend all day at a library vs the fact that NOBODY WOULD TAKE ME cri
#I used to legitimately spend all day there#I would've slept there if I could#even when I wasn't reading#I'd play quiet pretend#I used to 'fly' through the sections and pretend I was an owl#I'd play on their laptops#I'd literally just see what was on the shelves even if it was stuff I'd never read#I was so curious#I loved libraries#they used to be my safe havens#I want to go back so badly but nobody would take me#and I'm not allowed to walk outside by myself#sob
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I think having an accountability buddy is the way to go for me
#can't motivate myself for shit but then i go to the library with an irl or he comes over to do work and suddenly i'm reading this novel with#zero distractions like hi? hello ???#i need to get a flatmate.#smth magical happens in my brain when it's ''let's be productive ☆together☆'' that actually allows me to be productive💀#fucked up how humans really are meant to live in communities
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First day back in the office since 2023.
Shoutout to my cat Fiona for making sure I still got my yoga and 10 burpees in in the morning by continuing to come into my bedroom and Scream at 4:50am.
(Genuinely, this was helpful. Really appreciate that little soot cloud.)
#personal#she started doing it last week#and I THINK#it is because I've been home#so I've been in 'her' library in the morning and later in the evenings than she is accustomed to#with lights on#it's reading very#'if i'm not sleeping when I'm accustomed WE'RE not sleeping.'#but it's working for me#she also has this thing where she Screams to ask if she can come up onto the bed#she is always allowed#she is just very polite#Meisha has also gotten into a habit of coming in at 5:30 almost on the dot#to ask to go outside#my schedule is Locked In#by pee
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My mom woke me up at 2am to say "I just want to let you know that I'm not crazy, but I am the bride of Christ and he needs you to take him more seriously." and no one is hiring me, so I can't afford to move out of this wackass fucking house!!! Bro I hate it here!!!
#and then she was like ''i keep trying to /remind him/ that you're trying to sleep‚ but he really wanted me to tell you 🥺''#please someone get me the fuck out of here oh my god. she also mocked me for being raped and abused as a kid which was um. not fun#bc I'm scared of men‚ and i get nervous when men come over. and she has a ldr boyfriend (of 6 months) who she plans on marrying#and she was like ''ohhh let me just NEVER HAVE MEN OVER because I have to bow down to your TWAUMAA *mocking noises*''#and i hadn't even done or said ANYTHING!!! i don't complain when she has guy friends over!!! i just stay in my room!!!!#and then she called me a spoiled rotten brat because i had a panic attack when she randomly mentioned he was coming over#like I'm not allowed to be afraid of a complete stranger my mom has known for 6 months being in my house#and she's like ''i KNOW HIM!!!!'' girl you also knew my father for 12 years and look how that turned out. not good!#sorry for venting on here‚ I'm at the library right now. bc if i go home‚ she's going to start telling me her conspiracy theories#like i do not feel safe enough to go home. and I've been desperately job hunting to get the fuck out but i haven't gotten even 1 reply#anyway!!! I'm coping by looking at apartments and making lists of household items to fill it with#heart shaped rice cooker my beloved#personal
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IMG ID: a tweet from "Fresh Boyardee" saying "90s was kinda ass... .imagine being stuck in the house with no internet? Yuck" and a reply from "Tana Claus" saying "They had to put a commercial on tv that said 'it's 10pm. Do you know where your kids are?' for our parents to remember we existed. We were not stuck in the house" END ID
#there is a playground and library close enough to my house to safely walk to#I'm not allowed to though#as an older teenager#because my Dad thinks it's too dangerous#there is nowhere else I can safely walk to#all my friends who live near me live across a very busy 4/5 lane main street#with road signs that don't always work#and to get to their house would require#crossing that street#and walking along#a very hilly street#with either no sidewalk#or very very broken sidewalk#that is also on a very busy street#adults are always complaining#about how kids are always inside#on electronics#and how when they were little they would walk to#the corner store#or go to a park#and never stay inside all day#and it's so frustrating#cause where am I supposed to go#there is no corner store#you won't even let me walk behind the house to a playground#or library#the other places in walking distance#require me to cross very very busy street#that is a bridge between highways#and has horrible crosswalks and lights
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Reading my own writing like this will be so good once it is edited.
#I gotta remember that first drafts are allowed to be rough... that's their whole thing#I'm gonna keep writing throughout the week and then this weekend I'm gonna go to the library and edit everything...#going to bed early though <3 I got more than my daily 1k so I'm happy! and very sleepy...#what happens when you get bad sleep two days in a row
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Y'all I did NOT know this about Harris, and I think it's really critical that we all listen and understand as we approach this election. Video at the end.
This creator's video describes how progressive Harris was as a prosecutor -- actively going against the grain to the point she was accused of being soft on crime. Accused of being a social worker, not a prosecutor. She calls it being smart on crime. She's pushing for systemic changes to give real pathways to reintegrate incarcerated folks back into society and prevent their past from continuing to haunt them moving forward.
"Kamala's a cop" is a catchy dismissive response usually used to shut down conversation rather than add nuance. But this kind of reform is ESSENTIAL to work towards a present and future that treats incarcerated people with value.
I fell for it in 2020 and have thought "Kamala's a cop" without further inspection since - and I'm sobered by the realization that (you guessed it!) I'm not immune to propaganda.
A better system only follows liberal democracy, because library democracy allows for exploration of better systems. If authoritarianism takes hold, it will not allow for the exploration of better systems. We will have to fight tooth and nail just to try to get back to liberal democracy, and I suspect we could not achieve it in our lifetimes.
Harris isn't perfect. But she's a hell of a lot better than many leftists have led me to believe. Don't let perfection be the enemy of good. Don't let perfection be the enemy of harm reduction.
We can either help elect Trump and usher in authoritarian fascism, or we can help defeat him and pull things back in the direction we want to go. Not liking the choices doesn't absolve you from participating and doing the most good you can with the options available.
I'll link the original video in the replies. The original video has captions if you need them.
#kamala harris#2024 election#leftist hypocrisy#If we want better we have to put in the work over time. There are no instant solutions.#That means digging in our heels to prevent moving farther right.#Yep even if it means voting for a candidate you don't personally like or agree with.#Caring for your community means making strategic decisions to help everyone.#Voting your morals or whatever you call it is functionally useless in the presidential election bc of how our system works.#Save your moral votes for local elections - that's where you get the ball rolling. Put. In. The. Work.
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i think this is first time I've ever successfully pulled an all nighter all thanks to bastard hot weather
#redtailfins originals#basically im hiding out in the uni hall library because my room has no aircon but this room does but i'm too scared to sleep in here becaus#i dont think im allowed and also it would be awkward if someone came in so obv the only way i can avoid going back to my hot ass room#is to pull an all nighter. duh#shout out to chip and jacob for staying up most of the way with me you did not need to do that but it was fun#chip put herbert in tomodachi life he looks soooo funny
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cant believe in two weeks I'm going to New York
#I'm trying to cram some stuff into my free time but since I'm not allowed to go anywhere solo it's been hard#I don't want to take over the free time with whoever tags along but like#I have ideas and we have limited time it needs to be laid out now#I think I want to hit the Morgan library and MoMa most but idk#Maybe central park? Lots of stuff there including the balto statue#And I loved that movie as a kid so why not go see balto#Also apparently there's just a fucking castle in the middle of central park??? I want to see that
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Hey if I go to the library to read my own book and not borrow anything will the librarians beat me to death?
#bc my brain has decided that I'm not allowed to read books at home#i have to go out to do that#and its getting warm and i burn easy so i wanna stay indoors#and the library is Nice#im really picky about books and ive already read all the series that the library has and i wanna read my weird dragon books#because i still haven't read the third and fourth ones#but will i be stoned to death if i just show up. read my own book for five hours. and leave without borrowing anything
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