#I'm no snob I promise
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chaos-has-theories · 5 months ago
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Sometimes I worry that I have too much of a fannish approach to academia because I decide to write papers about subjects that fascinate me.
But my class is currently arguing about whether V*ldemort is a static or dynamic character so on the whole I think I'm doing ok
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saints-who-never-existed · 7 months ago
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For the color ask game—cherry and ruby?
Cherry - Thoughts on mainstream music?
Everything I know about mainstream music has been learned against my will, I'm afraid! :P
I almost never consciously listen to it and when I do, I find that it all sounds more-or-less the same to me as it flies in one ear and right out the other again... I'm not a pretentious dick about it, like, just a complete Luddite with a staggering lack of awareness when it comes to the tunes of today... I regularly find myself having the following conversation:
Me: What the fuck even is this song playing on the radio/blasting in the pub right now? Friend: Are...are you serious...? It's everywhere... It's literally No. 1 in every country in the world and won every award in existence... The singer's just been canonised as a saint? How have you not heard this? Me:
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Ruby - Favourite pre-2000 song?
Hard to choose a favourite when pre-millennium bangers constitute the bulk of what I listen to at the moment... :)
So here, for funsies, please accept the last pre-2000s song I happen to have listened to today - Hit & Run by sorely-underrated lady-pioneers of the early-80's N.W.O.B.H.M. scene, Girlschool!
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music-for-them-asses · 9 months ago
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That poll is validating me lol. I was afraid I was being too picky, but honestly, I have to date someone who also loves music (preferably close to what I listen to). Like, I go to concerts by myself. But if I put on Devo and you stare at me like I just grew a second head... it ain't gonna work
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cattatoir · 1 year ago
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honestly another thing that shows like Elementary have over other adaptations is understanding that Holmes and the dirtbaggy messy private eye are one
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cthulhuscoconuts · 2 months ago
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Guys, guys, please listen to me. CDs are so fucking good man, like if you've only ever listened to music from spotify or youtube or whatever, please, if you ever get the chance, get some CDs and a player, i BEG you.
I am crying at the white fucking stripes right now.
I don't even like them that much
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ao3cassandraic · 9 months ago
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oh shit
yeah no wonder I'm Aziraphale-coded
Aziraphale, the bad guy
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The thing is that Aziraphale as a bunch of character traits is the secretly evil person in so much fiction. Maybe that's why so many people want him to be the bad guy? He is bookish, well dressed, somewhat old fashioned, clever, well spoken, classical music fan, a food snob, doesn't do so well with banter and other generally expected communication skills. He's an introvert and only shines next to people (one demon really) he knows well, otherwise he can be kinda awkward (fangirling over Shakespeare anyone?). He is the prototype of the brainy, antisocial professor that wants to bring down the world and everyone in it. And this is why I ADORE him. Because he is all the things above and yet he is not evil. And yes he is an actual angel and no that also does not mean he is secretly awful. He is just imperfect. And that is so wonderfully fucking normal I will never get over it and will revere @neil-gaiman for this forever and ever.
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instantpansies · 1 year ago
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23 and 30?
23. a song that you think everyone should listen to
The Prophet's Song by Queen! it's a masterpiece. gets overshadowed by its album-mate Bohemian Rhapsody but imo just as good. from a musical, lyrical, and artistic standpoint, this song is incredible. wish i could experience it for the first time again. LISTEN WITH HEADPHONES PLEASE ITS SO MUCH BETTER
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30. a song that reminds you of yourself
ok this is a hard one. and i have a pathetic and depressing answer for you i guess: How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead. yes, i'm outing myself as a radiohead fan on tumblr dot com and yes i'm regretting this as i type. but. give them a chance. maybe they're the incel band but unfortunately they also slap. and this song is a great representation of (my personal experience with) dissociation. it's a vibe, and this is the song that i most strongly associate with "myself" rn
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seat-safety-switch · 10 months ago
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One of my more accomplished friends is an MRI operator. When we first got talking about what we did for a living, I didn't get very interested. Now, don't think I'm some kind of elitist snob. My career (freelance journalist/greasy dirtbag) is a laugh-a-minute thrill ride, where you're as likely to get hunted down by friends of corrupt small government as you are to throw up in the back of a diesel-swapped Geo Metro being used to chase cows back into the paddock. It's set the bar very, very high.
By comparison, MRIs are boring healthcare stuff, meant for taking extremely high-quality pictures of people's junk all day long. Those pictures are then viewed by doctors, who will sneer at those people for not eating enough cauliflower. Just an absolute snore, which although involving a cool machine that's very loud, didn't fascinate me in the least.
That is, until they mentioned The Quench. In case you're unfamiliar, MRI machines operate on the principles of magnetism (that's the "M.") Big-ass magnets are used to send pulses throughout the machine, and those pulses are inconveniently blocked by chunks of your body standing in the way. By recording how irritated those magnets are, we can figure out what's going on inside your shit. Of course, you need big, big magnets for this, you're not running down to the grocery store and diagnosing a brain misfire using that cute little toddler-art-retainer shaped like a frog.
Sometimes, when shit really goes wrong, you need to stop the magnetism in a hurry. Maybe a patient walked in with a fully loaded firearm, and the magnets are now using it to shoot the inside of the machine. Perhaps you just decided that you would like to end your career. Either way, hitting the "quench" button douses those magnets with several hundred thousand dollars' worth of liquid helium, which makes them stop doing magnet-y things and start racking up billable hours for the MRI maintenance guy. This kind of highly expensive mechanical failure is my jam, and I asked immediately where I could get me some of those quenched-up magnets. Surely, they wouldn't reuse anything they've beaten up in this way?
My so-called friend figured out what I was up to, and clammed up almost immediately. Almost. He gave me just enough information for my inquisitive journalistic mind to figure out that they just chuck these big-ass magnets into the dumpster out back of the hospital, and someone with an enterprising enough mindset could then un-chuck them into the back of, say, a U-Haul van with the license plate removed after being careful to avoid all the security cameras along the way. Not that I would do such a thing, especially because it involves driving through a particularly weak chain-link fence near the seniors' centre.
Coincidentally, are you coming to my unveiling of my new magnetic-levitation Volare-launching system this weekend? I promise to listen very intently to whatever bullshit you say about your boring job, you'll love it. The Mayor is gonna be there, cut the ribbon and everything. Shit. Siri, remind me to get plastic scissors for The Mayor.
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crownmemes · 5 months ago
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Domestic Bickering Sentences, Vol. 3
(Sentences for problems - big, small, serious, and light - between muses in a relationship. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"I fail to see what you hope to achieve with this approach."
"How about we just go home and pretend this day never happened?"
"Don't you dare play the innocent with me!"
"You’re doing that thing where you pretend to know more than everyone else in the world."
"That look in your eye is a pain in my ass. You know that, right?"
"You're untidy! You've always been untidy!"
"You danced like a wildebeest!"
"You're too smart to play the victim."
"Don't be so grumpy!"
"I love you. I've just got a funny way of showing it, that's all."
"You're nothing but a petulant child!"
"I do hope that I'm not about to regret the soft spot that I have for you."
"Close your eyes and make a wish!"
"I can handle my own problems! I've done it for a long time before you came along!"
"Every once in a while, I like to hear the voice of someone who's on my side."
"Do you honestly think that now is the right time for this conversation?"
"Look, we all have tough days. All I'm saying is you've got to do your best to be nice to people."
"Are you mad at me or something?"
"Have you ever even tried to think about things from my point of view?"
"You keep promising that, but I don't see anything happening!"
"I'm competing for your attention again, aren't I?"
"Have you any idea how ridiculous you sound?"
"Can we just enjoy each other's company for a little while?"
"Go on; I know you can't resist the urge to say 'I told you so'."
"I'm going for a walk before I say something I deeply regret."
"So what goes on in here, huh? What are you hiding?"
"You're such a snob!"
"That was a really stupid thing to do!"
"Why didn't you say anything about this before?"
"Don't you dare!"
"You're too bloody perfect, that's your trouble!"
"What happened to your resolution to be more accepting?"
"Don't you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?"
"Don't be an asshole. Do you want to hear this or not?"
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megamindsecretlair · 1 year ago
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Have Mercy
A/N: Based on this ask. It contained porno links. Whoever you are, ya nasty and I love you. This is a bit of a deviation so I'm sorry if it wasn't what you pictured! Thank you for the support!
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Pairing: Pornstar!Tyrone x Black!Shy!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. FILTH for nearly 5k words! PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (fem receiving), cum play, possession kink, size kink, dirty talk, degradation/praise kink, Daddy kink, orgasm denial, overstimulation, all consensual. Use of n-word. Disrespectful Tyrone. Drug use. Established friendship.
Summary: After a very steamy porn video by Tyrone, you can't help your curious questions as you hang out and discuss his work. You'd been too shy to ask before, but you're dying to know what it's like in person.
Word Count: 5,284k
A/N: I was just waiting on the right spark to answer this ask. And...look, you all know how fuckin' feral I am for Tyrone. It's not a surprise. I promise 5k words is worth it. This was so fuckin' hot to write. I hope you enjoy it! Please, please, consider leaving a comment or reblogging to help support writers. I can't get better with no feedback!
Taglist: @planetblaque @dayjlovesromance @sevikasblackgf @melaninpov @amyhennessyhouse @henneseyhoe @honeyoriginalz @justheretostan @black-fairy3 @superhoeva @jarfulloftears @hereformiles @montysstuffs @westside-rot @blackerthings @blowmymbackout @euphoric05 @miyuhpapayuh @nicolexnight @8ttached @judymfmoody @wakandas-vibranium @soft-persephone @justabovewater20 @notapradagurl7 @mcotton0928 @soapjay @heyauntieeee @theyscreamsannii @mybonafidefeelings
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“Okay, but like
they just kind of sit there and
” You stopped talking and started jerking your hand. You looked across the hazy space towards Tyrone. He was laying across the bed and looked at you down the blunt he held to his mouth. The orange-red spark glinted and then dimmed as he pulled it out. He licked his lips and then blew out the smoke.
“Shit, ion know. I do this shit myself,” Tyrone said. 
Tyrone passed the blunt and you grabbed it, bringing it to your lips and inhaling. You turned your head towards the ceiling, your eyes expanding. “So, you got a camera and microphones and shit?” You asked.
“Yeah,” Tyrone said and took the blunt from you. “Got to these days. If I’ma be rocking somebody’s shit, then everybody gon’ see it.” He brought the blunt to his lips and pulled on it. 
You tried to picture it. Your head was so blessedly silent for once. You actually formed a thought and kept it. Tyrone on the bed, naked. Showing off ropes and ropes of thick muscle. Arms strong enough to break coconuts. Thighs begging to be ridden. 
Your core heated up, a small tingle working up the back of your thighs. You bet he was the type to hold on and get to work. But you smirked at him and started to giggle. 
“You always talk that shit, Ty,” you said. Your giggles kept going, making your stomach hurt. You flattened your hand on your stomach. “Don’t make me laugh! My tummy hurt!” 
Tyrone stared at your high ass and smirked. Fuck. It took forever to make him laugh. Like the mu’fucka was born with ice down his throat. You longed to hear that rare, raspy laugh. 
“I talk big ‘cuz my dick big,” he said and huffed out a chuckle. It was barely enough to call it a laugh. 
The mention of his dick had you clenching your thighs. You’ve memorized the way Tyrone walked. He walked like he was swangin’ dick down there. Also, you’d never in a million years tell him, but you’ve seen his videos. 
You had second hand evidence that he was packin’. You have came plenty of times just to the sound of his voice on those videos. He rarely fucked the same girl twice. They were all different women; all Black women, and all thick Black women. 
You weren’t a snob. Sometimes you’d watch the woman getting their back blown out and wish it were you. But his voice. You were knee deep in his comments and he was gaining popularity just from his voice alone. 
You giggled again. “Where do you even find these women? You being safe?” You asked. You knew perfectly well that he fucked without a condom. Hell, you’d let him cum in you too. 
“I get checked every month and only fuck bitches that’s clean. Some hit me up. Some I find in the wild,” he said. 
He puffed on the blunt after you handed it back. Your body wasn’t floating but it felt like it. There was an all around hum on your body. 
“The wild? Like
damn, you just find women willing to have sex on camera and release it?” You never had enough courage to ask these questions before. But after last night’s video, you wanted to know. Your burning curiosity finally won out and started asking about it.
“You’d be surprised how many mu’fuckas wanna watch themselves. Some don’t wanna be seen. That’s fine. Hide they face and whatever. But the real nasty ones don’t cum unless the camera in they face,” he said. He released a cloud of smoke to join the rest.
You thought of being one of those women. Showing your face on camera for millions to gawk at. Cum to. You’d never in a million years
but the thought wasn’t terrible. There would be evidence that Tyrone fucked you and he’d control it. He could do anything with it.
“Do you rehearse and shit? Like do you know what you’re gonna say before?” You asked. 
“Hell naw,” he said and huffed again. 
He comes up with those filthy things on the spot? You bit your lip. Maybe
having sex with Tyrone wouldn’t be good. He’s a different breed. In a class all on his own. Sure, the videos could have told you that. But hearing it from the source? You weren’t so sure you wanted to find out what he was like. 
“You real curious tonight,” he said. The orange light from the blunt casted soft shadows over his face. 
You shrugged. “We ain’t talkin’ bout shit else,” you said. 
“You forget I know yo ass? You real curious,” he said. He looked at you skeptically. You looked right in his eyes. You were not going to give him an inch. You had years worth of experience pretending to not be in love with him. That every video wasn’t like a stab in the heart. 
He was making good money though and you weren’t gonna fuck with someone’s bag. So you kept your mouth shut. Pretended that you were just his friend. Just a friend. 
The bed shifted and Tyrone leaned closer to you. His eyes searched your face. He leaned in closer than he has ever been to you. His nose lightly grazed yours, making it both tingly and itchy. 
You swallowed hard and you knew you made a sound. Tyrone huffed, the breath fanning across your face.
“You trynna find out?” He asked. 
“Naw nigga,” you said. You didn’t know where this boldness came from. But your heart thundered in fear that he would learn your secret. You’d kept it so close to your heart for so long. It was like its own tiny dagger always piercing your heart. But sometimes removing it hurts you worse than keeping it in. If you opened your big mouth, you’d ruin this. This time spent together. 
Tyrone kissed your cheek. His lips lingering against your cheek as he spoke. “Every time I mention gettin’ down, you tell me I’m lyin’. So let me prove myself,” he said.
You giggled, the weed making him glow. You stared across his regal looks. You bet he was  a king in a previous life. 
You wriggled on the bed and took a deep breath. Stay strong. Stay strong. “You actin’ crazy, Ty. Not every girl wanna be yo bitch,” you said. You sounded weak to your own ears. 
“Mhm, I think you the one lyin’. I think you been cravin’ this dick,” he said. He pecked your cheek and traveled down. His lips kissed a trail of fire down to your neck.
“What you say that for?” You asked.
“You wanna know what it’s like to be fucked by me, don’t you?” He asked. He kissed up to your ear and laughed. “I know what desire look like. I eat that shit for breakfast,” he said.
His words made your mouth drop open. Words of denial rushed to your lips. But your mouth turned dry. The fuckin’ weed speeding along your anxiety at being exposed. 
“You trippin’, man,” you said. You shook your head, but he kept up the pressure on your neck. Practically making out. Little swipes of his tongue made you bite back a groan. Your panties were so damp, they were sticking to you. You ran the palms of your hands up and down your thighs. 
“You talk big game. You aint tell me to stop yet neither,” he said.
Fuck. True. But how could you? He hadn’t even done anything to you yet and you were ready to burst. You just made yourself cum this morning, thinking of the video last night. He had looked delicious pounding someone into the bed. How you wanted it to be you. 
Your words died in your throat. What could you say? He was seducing yo ass. Did you really want that to stop?
“Fine then, nigga. Break my back,” you said. You looked him in the eyes with the challenge in your eyes. He looked up at you and grinned. Yo momma ain’t raise no bitch. You got nervous sometimes but that’s okay. It’s okay to be nervous. Do shit anyway. 
The words sounded nice, but you were terrified of the look in Tyrone’s eyes. That was not the look of someone who was going to be sweet and loving in bed. Tyrone the Pornstar was here. 
He got off of the bed and moved the ashtray off of the bed and onto the nightstand. The sound of the glass was like a gunshot. You flinched and watched his every move. He stood up to his full height and stared at you.
The look in his eyes was not friendly. It was predatory. You were an unknowing baby bunny and he was a starving wolf. He reached out with his hands and ran them up and down your bare thighs. You gasped and flinched away from him. 
“When was the last time you been fucked?” He asked. 
You’ve taken your fair share of guys to your bed. Some were even good. None ever came close to Tyrone. Each time you came, it was to the sound or memory of Tyrone’s voice. 
“Been a while,” you said. 
He nodded his head. He reached for the zipper of your shorts and you let him unzip it. He didn’t pull your shorts down all the way. He opened your zipper as far as it would go and then pulled down the front just enough to see your panties.
You were hoping to disrobe in a quick rush. You weren’t exactly prepared for sex tonight. You wore one of your boring and safe panties. It didn’t bother Tyrone. He stared at it, like he’d just unwrapped a present. 
“Talkin’ all that shit. Why yo panties wet then?” He asked. 
You looked away briefly. “Thinkin of this guy at my job I got a crush on,” you said.
Tyrone dug his fingers into your panties and you cried out. “Every time you lie to me, that’s another orgasm,” he said. “I’m already thinkin’ of..four, maybe. I can keep goin’,” he said. His deep voice made you shiver. 
His fingers were right there. Your stupid panties were in the way. You felt the pressure but not his beautiful, strong hands. “I’m not lyin’,” you said.
He dug his fingers in more and you jerked from the strong wave of desire. It was like you drank static. 
“A’ight that’s five. And I want you to count ‘em out too,” he said. 
“Wait, I’m sorry,” you said. You never had your limits tested, but you were pretty sure you’d die after the third one. If he went for five, you weren’t going to survive. There were too many things you wanted to accomplish before you left this earth. 
“That sorry shit don’t work on me,” he said and grinned. “Now be a good little bitch and tell me you want this dick. And you want me to film it,” he said. 
A breath stuttered out of you. He was even better in person. “Don’t show my face,” you said. You borrowed boldness for tonight. If you survived to tomorrow, then that’s when you’d freak out. For now, you wanted the entire Tyrone experience. 
“Naw, this my personal stash. I wanna see that sexy ass face,” he said. He leaned over you and ran his thumb outside of your panties. You were leaking at the edges and his thumb glided so close to where you needed him. 
“Personal stash?” Maybe if you kept him talking, he’d give you a reprieve. You just needed a moment to think. To find a way out of five orgasms. 
“The ones I watch to get myself hard. The ones I cum to, thinkin’ of it when I’m balls deep in pussy online,” he said. 
Oh shit. “But–” your dry throat ached. It paled in comparison to the ache in your tummy. That deep, hidden place that few men actually hit. 
Tyrone slipped his thumb under your panties and crested the very outer area of your clit. You gasped and twitched, your legs couldn’t open wider because your shorts weren’t all the way off. He looked into your eyes. 
He licked your open mouth. “See, the game to porn? Focus on the woman. Always,” he said.
He increased his strokes until you were a shaking mess. You didn’t know you could make those types of sounds. But all of the tiny grunts and yips, turned to moans as you came from his finger circling your clit. He didn’t even touch it directly. 
He pulled his finger away and watched you jerk and twitch until you calmed down. He licked his thumb, made a surprised sound, and stood up. Your eyes tracked him as he stepped back and took off his black T-shirt. His jeans went next, his briefs tenting with his erection.
He stroked himself over his briefs and looked at you with his head crooked to the side. “Fuck, you’re sexy,” he rasped. He moved to the side of his room and there was the sound of devices getting moved around. You laid on the bed, your eyes back to the ceiling. 
This was really happening. You fought the urge to pinch yourself as Tyrone set up the camera. It had a retractable viewer and he flipped it around to the bed. You saw yourself lying there, staring at the camera.
Your pussy clenched at the thought. Tyrone had always been a man of his word. If this was his personal stash, he was the only one that would see you getting fucked. You wanted it so desperately, you leaned up on your elbows and started to remove your shorts.
“I say you can move yet?” He asked. 
You panted at his aggressive tone and shook your head, not trusting your voice. “Lay yo ass back down,” he said. You followed his command, laying back on the bed. Your body was floating this time. You felt every nerve in your body twitch up and await what Tyrone had in store. 
Tyrone puffed on the blunt as he finished setting up the camera. A moment later, he brought the camera closer and pointed it at your face. You blushed so hard that your cheeks burned from it. You knew they would be hot to the touch. 
“Smile for Daddy,” he said. 
You giggled and swiped at the camera. “Fuck you,” you said. 
Tyrone chuckled a little louder this time. He moved the camera down your body. “Take off the shirt first, nice and slow,” he said. 
You sat up and looked at him. Focus on him. That’s all you had to do. You’d make this the best damn video he can’t release. You took off your shirt, exposing your mismatched bra. That came next, slowly sliding it off your arms. You threw it at him and he caught it with one hand. 
He smirked from behind the camera and dropped your bra. He commanded that you stand up and take off your shorts. He told you to turn around and slightly bend over as you took off your panties. You stepped out of it and he groaned.
“Fuck, look at that pretty fuckin’ pussy,” he said. 
You clenched and then clenched again knowing that he was picking it up on the camera. “Crawl on the bed, get on your back,” he said. 
You did as he told you. You climbed onto the bed and exaggerated yourself crawling to the top of his bed. You flipped over, dropping onto your back. “Get comfortable,” he told you.
You moved a few pillows over to cradle your head and back. You instantly felt better. You closed your eyes with a smile. Your knees were pressed together, still feeling that lingering shyness. 
Tyrone tapped your knees. “Open them up for me,” he said. Tyrone had the viewfinder half flipped between you. He had it focused on your knees. You hid your face behind your hands and shook your head. 
“C’mon, do what I say,” he said. 
You groaned but opened your legs. You threw your arm over your eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. “Open them pretty eyes and look at me,” he said. His tone, more than anything, made you open your eyes and stare at him. Tyrone was not the gentle type online. He barked and commanded and did nearly unspeaking things to women. Soft wasn’t in his vocabulary. 
“You know how sexy you are?” He asked. 
“Of course I do,” you said. Your sexiness didn’t depend on no man. Not even Tyrone. You knew you were fine as hell. You ain’t pull niggas for nothin’. But you were still fuckin’ shy. Damn. 
“Don’t hide it then,” he said. He climbed onto the bed and moved the camera beyond your head. You craned your neck to see him fix the viewfinder where he could see. There was a perfect angle of the length of your body, your legs spread open, and Tyrone hovering above you. 
Tyrone then kissed you, rolling his tongue all over yours. You don’t know how long he spent kissing you. It was long enough to make you relax for half a second. When he felt your body go slack, he added his hands. He lowered himself to your body and rested on his elbows. His hands, he ran them all over your chest. 
He massaged your breasts, rolling your nipple between his warm fingers. Each twist was just this side of painful. And you groaned. Your head flopped on the pillow as he nipped at your neck. 
You brought your hands up to grip onto his back. Your nails lightly scratched him. He groaned. He kissed down your neck, moving onto the top of your titties. “Oh, shit,” you moaned as his lips latched onto your left nipple. 
He sucked like he was mining for gold. He rolled his tongue over the budding peak. He ‘d stop and examine his handiwork, see if it was satisfactory, then return his attention to it. He licked a long strip down the center of your chest to your tummy. 
He paid careful attention to each stretch mark, each tiny scar from you being clumsy, and every mole. His hands worked their way down too. Squeezing your sides. The upper, fleshy part of your thighs. He reached around and gripped your ass, squeezing the globes. 
He continued downward, running his tongue through your pubic hair. He reached the very edge of your pussy and you squirmed away. A cold patch started inching its way under your ass. Your arousal was already flooding his bed. 
He flattened his tongue against your pussy lips and you bucked off of the bed. “Oh fuck, Tyrone!” You yelled. 
Your skin was itchy. You needed relief in the worst way. He chuckled and nosed his way through your folds. He swirled his tongue lazily around your clit.
“Did you know you taste good?” He murmured into your pussy. His lips caught your clit and part of your pussy lips. You made an unholy moan. 
“Could eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and still want some,” he said. 
“Fuck,” you whined. Your pussy clenched thinking of a repeat with Tyrone. How else he could be so nasty. 
The wetness of his tongue made you wetter. He began to increase the flicks of his tongue against your clit. “Oh shit, right there, right there,” you begged.
Tyrone backed away at the last second and you growled. He chuckled and kissed your clit. “You think just ‘cuz you want it, you s’posed to have it?” He asked. 
“Please, please,” you said. 
“Mhm, I knew yo lyin’ ass was gon’ regret what you said.” 
“Or maybe I just wanna cum and I’ll say anything,” you said, goading him into proving you wrong. You’d gladly be wrong, many times over, if he kept eating you like that. 
“Guess, we goin’ for six then. Start counting,” he said. 
“What?” 
“And the first one ain’t count neither,” he said. 
“That’s cheating!” You yelled. 
He looked at you from between your legs. You had to sit up some to see his half lidded eyes. “I look like a nigga that play fair?” 
Your chest rose and fell and you looked at him. You shook your head. “No, but–what can I do to bring that number down?” You asked. 
“Not a mu’fuckin’ thing,” he said. He kept watching you as he descended on your pussy, running his lips up and down, licking up your arousal. He watched as he tried different things, trying to see what you reacted to most. When he did something you liked, he stopped and switched tactics. 
You tried not responding, quieting your moans but then he’d bit the sensitive spot between your pussy and your leg. You’d jerk, complain about the pain, and say, “Don’t give a fuck.” 
You were back to moaning uncontrollably. So out of your mind in bliss, that you barely noticed that he stuck a finger inside of you. He pumped you, his finger getting wetter on each slide. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” you chanted. 
“Let Daddy hear you,” he said. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you continued. Each word ended on a shriek. Tyrone sucked and you came, with a loud moan. Your hands moved down your stomach, down your thighs, scratching underneath them. Your moves were jerky, flopping against the bed. You didn’t know what to do with your body as you came. 
When you were done, air whooshed across your heated, sweat-slick skin. Tyrone licked up whatever was left over, making you twitch from your sensitive clit. 
Tyrone kissed up one side of your thighs. He slapped your pussy, making you cry out. “One!” 
He then pushed your legs back, your thighs grazing the bedsheets. “This where I want ‘em. Keep ‘em there,” he said.
How the hell was he still in so much control? You were a ruined mess. You couldn’t survive any more. 
Tyrone had other plans. He trailed his fingers around your clit and you moaned. “I can’t,” you said.
“Aw, you wanna tap out?” He asked.
You nodded. Your eyes were closed. You weren’t strong enough for another orgasm. 
“Still don’t give a fuck,” he said. He leaned up and over you. His thighs pushed at yours, folding you. He leaned on his fist, his muscles bunching and contracting. A vein started near his elbow and ran down towards his hand. You longed to lick it, but his arm wasn’t close enough.
You resorted to rubbing his arm. He brought his other hand to cup your pussy. Then a finger disappeared inside you. “Oh shit!” You said and jerked.
He added a second finger and you twitched. Your moans were turning painful. Robbing the breath from your lungs. You’d gasp for any little molecule of air. And then seize up once more as his fingers pumped in and out of you. “Mhmm,” Tyrone said.
“Nasty little bitch, ain’t you.” He added a third finger. 
“Ty, Ty,” you croaked out. 
“What? You need four?” He asked. He added a fourth finger and you rounded your eyes at him. As he pumped it into you, he turned his hand. Two fingers slipped out. The first two, he continued to pound into you. Then he crooked his fingers in a come hither motion and you exploded.
Your back lifted off of the bed as your orgasm steam rolled you. Your legs shook like mini earthquakes, each wave cascading through you like aftershocks. You reached for his chest, needed to feel something solid under your hands. He slapped your hand away and tilted his head at you. 
He grabbed your nipple and pulled and you shrieked. “Fuck,” you said. He arched his brow at you. “Two,” you said. 
You came down with tears gathering in your eyes. You sniffled as you shivered. Tyrone rubbed your arms, smirking at you. 
“Shit, may not need the camera. I’m gon’ remember this shit,” he said. 
You completely forgot about the camera. It turned you on that those orgasms were recorded. That he’d watch them again and again. 
He kissed your tummy, bringing your attention back. He kissed and suckled your skin. You watched it disappear into his mouth. You groaned when he started to hurt. He moved on to more patches of skin, kissing the underswell of your right titty. He caressed your hips and massaged your ass as he kissed his way to your neck. 
He bit your shoulder and then licked your neck. He placed kisses on your jaw and then kissed you. He licked the swell of your bottom lip. 
Your body relaxed into the feel of his lips on you. The weed still did its thing. Every kiss was its own inferno. Burning your skin and leaving no end in sight. 
Tyrone returned his attention to your neck, kissing along your ear. He licked the shell of your ear and lined up at your entrance. You didn’t even notice that he took off his briefs.
He slid in and you groaned. You brought your hand up to push at his chest. He stroked and coated his long dick with your juices. He moaned at the feeling of you. He threw his head back and you saw his neck swallowing. Tiny huffs escaped him.
“Goddamn, this pussy feels as good as it tastes,” he moaned. You clenched at his dirty words and he moaned again. 
“Wanna get fucked like a good little bitch?” He asked. 
“Yes! Yes, Daddy, please,” you begged, nodding your head. 
His strokes were long, languorous. His hands pinned your upper arms to the bed. “What happened to all that shit you was talkin’?” 
He wanted you to speak? Speak when he had his third leg half inside of you? He wasn’t even fully seated yet. 
“Talk that shit now with dick in you,” he said. 
You opened your mouth, ready to say something. But then he slammed all the way home, hitting your G-spot and making you cum instantly. You shook on his dick, eyes rolling into the back of your head. Your toes curled. The orgasm took all coherent thought. 
After, you sniffed as tears ran down your cheeks. Tyrone’s dick twitched, his eyes locked on your face. 
“Can get a nigga used to this. You cum so pretty,” he said. 
“Fuck, Tyrone. Please,” you whispered. He only smirked at you. He slapped his hand against your cheek. “Three,” you said with a cry. 
He moved his hand down your throat and squeezed. 
“Oh fuck,” you whispered. Tears fell in rivulets down your cheeks. You were past the point of feeling good in the afterglow of your orgasms. 
He kept up his slow strokes, making you feel every large vein sliding against your slick inner walls. “Put them legs where I want ‘em,” he commanded.
You lifted your aching thighs, putting your hands under to hold them open for him. “Please, Daddy.” 
“Please what? Ask nicely,” he said. 
He slowed down even more, almost to a torturous crawl. He wiggled his hips and his dick hit all the corners of your pussy. 
“Please, no more,” you said. 
“You know what to say to get me to stop,” he said. He wiggled his hips for emphasis. You whined and jerked on the bed. 
You didn’t want to punk out. But you truly couldn’t take another one. Still, one built up anyway. Tyrone chuckled at you, condescension poured out of him in waves. 
“You know I’m cummin’ in this shit right?” He groaned. He threw his head back and his hips twitched. 
You pictured him filling you up like a twinkie and your pussy clenched. “Like that? Want me to nut in you?” 
He squeezed your neck one last time. He moved his hand to your lower tummy and pushed down. You felt his dick from the other side, felt how deep he was inside of you. The tip of his dick kissed your G-spot. He kissed you, soft and nasty. “Talk yo shit then. Can’t talk with dick inside you?” 
Tears gave everything a watery haze. It streamed down your face. Tyrone licked up your tears and moaned low to your ear. “Gimme that nut then,” he said. 
On command, another orgasm rushed through you. Spots danced behind your eyelids. You squeezed your eyes shut. “Show me them pretty eyes,” he said. 
He smirked as you locked eyes with him. He angled his hips and your jaw dropped open. “Mhmm, I know. I know,” he said. 
As you were calming down, you muttered, “Four.” 
Tyrone slipped out of you and you drew your first real breath in what felt like hours. He leaned down between your legs, his mouth suckling on your clit. 
“Oh shit, oh fuck, oh fuck, Tyrone, Daddy. Please,” you moaned. 
“Open them fuckin’ legs,” he growled. You opened them wider, both your arms and legs were tired now. He brought his mouth back onto you and sucked roughly, dragging another orgasm out of you. Your eyes were permanently glued to the back of your head. Pleasure coursed through you, making your legs shake of their volition. Your soul left your body, your feet cramped. Sound exited your right ear and you felt this one in your eyes. 
You squirted and Tyrone leaned back. “Mhmm,” he encouraged. “Nasty fuckin’ bitch,” he said. He licked up your sopping mess. You continued to squirt, the pleasure still so intense. He leaned back and watched you cum, watched you squirt. 
“F-f-five,” you shook. Your teeth clattered and knocked against each other. 
“Look at you, bein’ a good little bitch,” he said. “You made Daddy wait for his nut though.” His voice turned sinister. 
He leaned up and slapped his dick against your clit. The wet slap turned you feral, and you cried for more. You begged for more. 
“Fill me up, Daddy,” you cried. Your fingers tore at your body. You wanted more even though you were ready to tap out. Ready to give it up. 
Tyrone chuckled as he slammed back in. “Oh fuck,” you cried and collapsed your legs. 
“Uh-uh, open them fuckin’ legs. Keep that shit open,” he said. 
You cried, tears long since dried up. He bottomed out and then rubbed your clit with his thumb. “Oh fuck,” you moaned.
“I know,” he said. 
He slid in and out, stroking deep. Deep enough to make you see stars. “Oh, fuck, Daddy,” your voice was high-pitched. “Fuck me, Daddy, fuck me,” you chanted.
“Im finna nut,” he moaned. “I’m finna nut, I’m finna nut.” Hearing his moans was like the spark you needed. You came again, gushing and soaking his dick. He threw his head back and unloaded inside of you. 
He kept going, kept fucking his cum into you. Hot splashes coated your pussy. You felt every pulse and twitch of his dick inside you. He emptied his balls into you and you moaned and scratched at his back. 
He slowed his deep strokes, stilling inside of you. 
“Good fuckin’ bitch,” he said. He slipped out of you, his cum leaking out behind him. He panted, his sweaty chest rising and falling almost painfully. 
“Oh,” you cooed and moaned. Your legs flopped onto the bed, instant relief from keeping them up so long. “Six,” you whispered. Your voice was hoarse. 
Tyrone kissed you. He breathed in your ear. “You ever have any more questions, you come let me know.” 
You were already gone to the world as he said whatever it was that he said. If you woke up in the morning, it’d be a miracle.
&&&
You okay? Need more? The Secret Tyrone Files
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m1ssunderstanding · 16 days ago
Text
Midas Man Reaction
I watched this using a google drive version from @skydiamonded thank you, thank you!
Spoilers under the cut!!!
Weird looking at this guy and trying to tell myself he's Brian. He's a very Brian type of guy but still he's not Brian. 
I do love the first person narration and the instantly shattered fourth wall.
I love seeing his Jewish faith and culture in a way that wasn't publicly as prominent when he was alive. 
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Honestly didn't know adding a significant record store to their furniture store was Brian's idea. I'm looking every new thing I learn up because biopics can be very misleading, but this is fun!
I am absolutely Reveling in the contrast between crisp, classy Brian and the squalor of the cavern. So good! 
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Guys I'm a sucker for this stuff. John comes on stage swigging something talking in awful German and then there's Paul whoring it up flirting having a personal conversation with some girl in the crowd. And the John/Paul banter! I'm falling for it so hard. 
(John girls I will give it to you, you guys got shafted with the looks of this actor)
Same, Brian. I get it. I'd be in love with them too. 
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The incessant mocking of his posh accent Thank You!
Paul's face. I've definitely seen this irl. He loves watching John do his acerbic wit thing. Reminds me of that one quote that basically said Paul used John's cruelty to his own advantage. 
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The confidence of Brian just deciding to be a manager. The actor is doing such a good job of capturing that duality in Brian of part timid awkwardness part brazen optimism. 
The Spain dialogue! How can they tease that and not include the trip?!?! Also John dropping Hemingway and Brian's pleasant surprise. Just you wait, Brian. 
“My Gran takes pills for that” genuinely got me.
The way they look at each other is accurate even if John doesn't look a thing like himself
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“I think you're special. I think you'll go all the way. And I promise I will look after you.” Whether Brian said it that way out loud at the time or not it's what he felt. And that was so so important. They needed someone to say that and mean it so badly. Look how he's looking at them!
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“Like family. Only better. No secrets from each other.” Break my fucking heart not even twenty minutes in why don't you? Brian you deserved to live in the future. I'm so sorry you had to be put here in the time you were.
I will say the makeover breaks my heart. I get that it was necessary, but it hurts. 
Ringo's grey steak and his accent and his friendly tough older cousin demeanor!!!
You hear Paul singing as they drive up, fantastic. And the little shoulder pat as they go in, “alright Brian.” John's little line about the time jump is fun too. 
Pete's drumming is patently bad. Thank You!
The whole John railing on Brian and Paul telling him to leave off I think is probably accurate, but. With all the quotes I have in my documents about Paul actually being the one who gave Brian the most trouble, I have to wonder if we're going to see that complexity or if we're going to stick to the “mean John, nice Paul” stereotypes. 
But also Paul definitely does not stick up for Pete. (Who he also picked at much more than John irl) Anyway I love to see the strategic reigning in or letting loose of John's temper for me.
Again with the class contrasts!!! These fucking snobs talking down to Brian I can't. It's just another proof of the boys’ need for him and his management. And not just because he's socially higher than them, but can you see John handling that shit well? No. That ass hat would get decked. 
The pride with which he says “My boys” to those douchebags after all of that!!!
ïżœïżœïżœAsked you and Daddy for a car” is a great line.
I got so scared when that guy came up so suddenly like that because I know how violent some of those encounters were. It breaks my heart for him. 
And then the pills. It got so cold so fast. 
Those secretaries should be in charge of those record companies is what I'm getting here. 
I knew he was going to lie and say that he got them the contract. I wonder if he did irl. Something else I'll have to look up but it does make sense with what I know of Brian. He just loves them so so much. “I can't bear their disappointment when they feel I've let them down.” 
The George actor overdoes the accent a bit but I really love the facial expressions. I've seen that one a million times. 
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Also love that John and Paul are facing each other. Very nice. 
No one is going to hold a candle to the actual Paul's voice but what are you going to do? 
They've got Paul's need for John's approval right though. John's already said all sorts of positive things and Paul's immediately fishing for more.
Yes! Paul is George Martin's very special favorite baby boy and it would be wrong to play it otherwise. 
I should've said this before but it's driving me crazy in this scene. Why is George's hair significantly lighter than John's? 
Interesting that it doesn't even show Brian talking to the others about sacking Pete. 
“It's my sound. They're all doing it now. Ringo.” What is this bullshit? Insinuating Ringo copied Pete's sound? Why did they put that in there? Ew, take it out!
Look at him, already so at ease and happy. I love you, Ringo! 
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See I knew it was going to get more violent. Ugh it twists my stomach. And his poor terrified face when the guy says he knows him. He was so scared of his secret life having a negative affect on the boys career. And then Brian telling us straight to our faces about being brutally beaten and helping the man afterwards. It's cutting. Such a contrast from the upbeat, prideful Brian of many of the other camera-facing narrations. 
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The sharp turnaround of Alastair overhearing the end of Brian's little aside here though! I love the way this movie is playing with perspective and curtains. Very much a nod to Brian's behind the scenes work on behalf of the biggest group in the history of the world. 
Love how the Beatles are annoyed that Brian doesn't offer any details about them when he's going through his lineup! Very clever, very them!
Cilla clearly knows Brian's gay and she's the first one that's made that clear. At least to me! Maybe the scene with the prellies and the Beatles teasing him about that was something. But she's the first where it's obvious she knows. And he's so moved that she's just casually okay with his sexuality.
Then we get him apologizing to his family right after. It's getting to the point where I'm like I don't know what there is to say. 
Paul being the class-conscious one. Very good, very good. 
John “might even swear” Brian “please don't” Paul “he won't” Okay I know where they're going with this it's obviously going to be the rattle your jewelry” line. But they're going with the stereotype here of Paul reigning John in when really he was backstage daring John to say it. 
Achhhh this does bug me. Okay I know I'm the most insufferable Paul girl and it's Brian's movie. But! John's little look to the side as he says that line is at Paul, not Brian. Because, like I said before, Paul had been egging him on, and he's like “see I'm doing it” 
The scene with Ed Sullivan in the burger joint is reminding me of the Elvis movie. And it's nice. If anyone else is reminded of that it'll be a stark contrast between Brian and the general or whatever his name is. 
So happy that he can connect with Nat in this way even though they're from completely different worlds in every way other than their Jewish backgrounds. 
Still overwhelmingly annoyed they took out the romance with John to invent this Tex character. For multiple reasons. It's just not the truth for one thing. For another, it's a less interesting story. Brian is less complicated. The romance is flatter. Not a fan. 
But. In one way it's nice that he gets to be in a less complicated real relationship. Unless this is going to be like the Tex from the comic book which doesn't end well at all :/. What am I saying of course it can't end well. Ugh. 
Ringo’s tummy troubles! Ringo calling John a posh puddin! Thank Fuck!
It is very much driving home the fact that they're a rare bright spot in his life. 
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John starting the pillow fight all agro and then instantly backing off “now lads take it easy” we love the accuracy!
Oh. Colonel. I knew that. 
Another thing I'm going to have to look up. Did they really have to stop the show twice due to a jelly bean barrage? Actually so many fun details in this little narration. A fish truck? Really? You couldn't have chosen any other vessel? hashtag acab. 
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“I” made it clear? They're saying it's Brian's decision they won't perform to segregated audiences? Mkay. He's fantastic enough with his actual progressive actions and ideals. You can give the boys some credit for their own actions without losing anything for Brian. 
Brian screaming with all the girls. Cute! I do just have to say this is a George Martin story. But I'm sure Brian did it at some point too.
That stings! Going from all this huge success Brian of Brian's to his dad looking proud, making a toast, and I assumed it must be a party in Brian's honor but no. It's his brother's wedding. 
Wait I'm confused now. Does Cilla not know? 
I do love that she's concerned for him and expressing that. Because we know the boys aren't going to do that. 
Poor baby he's absolutely elated that Tex is here.
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I don't want to shame like I have read that Brian liked it rough although who knows if the writers of these statements are homophobes leaning into stereotypes of the time anyway there's obviously nothing wrong with rough sex. But I want Tex to be sweet and gentle with him because it looks like Brian is flinching and why wouldn't he be after what he's been through?
Also I hate that he's like “how can I get him to love me and stay with me etc” and he says he'll make him a star even though obviously he can't promise that and he's so so stretched thin already. 
Yep I hate Tex more and more. The yelling is awful holy shit.
Clearly Brian is only happy when he's with the Beatles. 
So this is them trying to put a little “vibe” between John and Brian? Having them have a "deep looking" discussion from a safe distance at a crowded party? Not really working imo.
But this is nice. I've seen this picture before. Look at cute cuddly Ringo. I adore that about him. For the one of them with the toughest background to be the most comfortable and easy with his affection. It's beautiful. 
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What the fuck!!! Tex is openly just chatting up someone else at Brian's party and Brian sees him as he's bringing them drinks and just retreats like that's what he deserves. Somebody give this sweet man some actual love!
The stark contrast between the silly, upbeat -- hectic yes -- but happy 64 tour narration and this. It's almost black and white it's so dim and muted and though the music is slow, Brian is talking very very fast and the drinks and pills are much faster than last time too. 
Again. Interesting that it's presented as Brian who declined Marcos in the Philippines. “They grab the boys and they drag them away.” I've never heard an account say it was that bad, but maybe it was? I don't know, I think if it was, John and George would've said so at some point post break-up. 
This is very interesting cinematic work. I don't know shit about anything but it strikes me as a very interesting choice to make this terrible time gradually fade into extremely sharp colorless chaos. The cute little maps and cut aways to contextualizing scenery are gone and it’s just Brian panicking backed by silhouetted violence.
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And then he forces himself to get it together, talks slower, straightens himself out, presumably because he does what he has to do to protect the boys. 
“Right. Are you coming in?” “Do you think that I would let you out of my sight, John?” It's so good. I hope this is what it was. 
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Paul's protective press conference answer comes off a bit more "team player" than "angry boyfriend" for one reason. IRL he jumps in, on this occasion and many others, without being addressed at all. Here, they ask specifically for a comment from the other three and George's comment comes first. Annoying. But overall t's very well done. And Brian is so proud of them all for being so strong in the face of all this stupidity. 
I love that Brian is protective of them and supportive of their decision to stop touring. I wonder how much of a say they actually gave him in that. 
“The press misquotes them, they can't be themselves, and if you can't be yourself . . .” He's so sweet. This takes me back to the family without secrets thing at the beginning. It's all so “well I know how awful this or that can be so I'm going to spare them from that” 
I didn't know creme or the who were involved with Brian too. Another thing to look up! 
Thank goodness for Nat Weiss. If only he and Brian could've been together. 
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I know it's not fair to expect too much of them with everything they were going through but I kind of hate all four Beatles right now. Brian crying about Paul not coming to a party and Paul's letter (well- meant that man had a very fucked up perspective on love and other complexities himself) about Brian just choosing not to be depressed is echoing in my head. 
Yes, Brian's shit father. There was something you didn't give your son. Only the most important thing there is. 
Eek they look so shockingly different. I wonder if it was that jarring for him. Why is it John that doesn't have the mustache? It was just Paul that had it, then the other three immediately followed, then just Paul that shaved it. Who knows what they're thinking here. Probably just didn't think about it, or maybe the John actor was just too hideous with a mustache?
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“And I have a proposal.” “Brian, I do.” “Finally!” See, that dialogue could've worked so much better if they'd been truthful about the sexual side to John and Brian's relationship. 
“I think I'll be leaving the band now,” says George, at the mention of a film. I'm dead. 
Why is Ringo wearing tons of blush and eyeshadow? 
This little moment is great though just because it's John and Paul interested and participating in the direction of the band and George and Ringo along for the ride. 
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The Paul actor did such a great job. His little giggle at John's dad joke is perfect. That's exactly what Paul sounds like.  
Why are they leaning so hard into George being the funny one in this movie? This whole movie it's him with the little quips. The phone thing is very Paul's humor though. Good, good. God I'm so annoyingly obsessed with him. 
It's very much leaning into the argument that Brian's death was accidental. I like to think that's the truth and there's certainly a strong case. The big plans with the Beatles and outside them too. The fact that his mother very much needed him after his father's death and he's got plans to take care of her. But there are also sources that say he was actually hospitalized due to suicide attempts. So. I don't know. 
Now we do the Buddhist bit. Arms around. That's something very different. But this makes me think of that quote, and I hope they did this too and I hope they included Brian.
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John's just so tiny lmao I'm actually obsessed!
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I love that the last line was about Brian saying he was “on top of the world”. 
You know what, I think we can choose to believe what we want about Brian’s death, and until someone presents me with empirical untenable objective evidence, I’m choosing to believe it was accidental. Doesn’t mean it’s not absolutely tragic. Doesn’t mean he didn’t have serious mental health problems. But it does mean he wanted to stick around despite all the hardships in his life for the good he was able to do and the joy he took in doing it.
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ellecdc · 10 months ago
Text
The Drink Snob
mafia!Remus Lupin x fem!reader | 3200 words
p1 // p2 // p3 // p4
CW: mentions of spiked drink (no one drinks it), reference to past spiked drinks, complaining about misogyny, bad reputation of American tourists in the UK (I'm sorry!)
The short of it was: it had been a long day.
The long of it though, by God, was that you really, really needed a drink.
You got to your favourite pub which was only a brisk 7-minute walk from the university; a tiny, hole-in-the-wall Irish pub which probably had several thousand identical pubs lined across the UK but that didn’t matter, dammit, because this one was special – this one was yours. You chuckled at the irony that you had moved half-way across the world to England only to sit yourself in an Irish chain pub that you’d likely be able to find back home a mere 6000 kilometers away.
You relished the feel of the warm air hitting your rosy cheeks after marching your ass down to the pub in the biting wind in naught but a long coat and a scarf. The warm air stung but in all the best ways as you shucked off your outer-layers and plopped down on a stool by the bar, unawares of anyone else within your vicinity other than the bartender promised to serve you your drinks.
“Alright there, Lass? What can I get for ye?” The fellow asked and you could have kissed him right then and there.
“Can I have a negroni and your tallest pint please.” You asked, hoping the desperation in your voice wasn’t noticeable – the fact that the bartender didn’t comment on the odd combination of drinks let you know that is was noticeable. No matter – you were desperate, what did you care?
Turns out you should have cared more.
“I’m sorry but I must tell you, that is an awful combination of drinks.” A lilting voice came from your left side. You groaned audibly and held your hands up to your temples like blinders to avoid even looking at the voice who dared to speak to you after such a day.
“S’pose its good nobody asked you then.” You muttered darkly. You didn’t make a habit of speaking to people this way often – people already spent enough of your time in the UK mistaking you for an American on account of your accent anyway, you needn’t add fuel to the fire by adding to an already bad reputation.
“Please tell me that you’re ordering for a friend. You’ve surely just ordered for someone who’s meeting you here?”
You knew better – you really did. You don’t let strange men in bars know that you’re alone; make them believe someone could show up to save you at any minute. But dammit, you’ve been fending off jackasses all day – what’s one more?
“Apparently, I live to disappoint men, sir, so no – both drinks are for me. Is that quite alright with you? I didn’t realize I had to pass this decision by the board.” You spat, finally turning your what you were sure was a burning gaze to this mystery guy on a stool to your left.
You hesitated in your ire for a moment: the man was quite a bit larger than you had pictured in your mind – not large in a particularly broad way but the man seemed to be excruciatingly tall; he sat basically spilling off his stool, while still managing to look elegant in doing so. He was dressed sharply but not in a way that made him stand out – respectable but forgettable, he blended into this bar well. Or he would if he hadn’t been so fucking handsome.
He had warm, honey-coloured curls that seemed to artfully fall in front of his face, and eyes to match. You’d never seen amber coloured eyes before, but you couldn’t seem to pull your gaze away from them. You did – by god you did – because the rest of the man was too enticing not too. He had a chunk missing out of his left eyebrow which was arched mischievously at what you assumed was your attitude with him, and his crooked smirk matched. He had a few scars littering his face – most were small, but there was one large one that crossed the bridge of his nose, and another nick on the right of his upper lip that may have continued onto his lower, but you didn’t want to get caught staring at his mouth. And of course, of-fucking-course he’d have a dimple. Why wouldn’t he? Could this day get any worse.
“What was the thought process, then?” He asked, his smirk growing deeper.
“What?” You guffawed. He couldn’t seriously be doing this; people didn’t do this, right?
He gestured between the two drinks sat in front of you with his own – a rum and coke if you guessed correctly. “Why those drinks, specifically? They don’t exactly pair well together.”  
You stared dumbly at this hot, audacious man. You hoped he’d decide you weren't worth the breath and move along. He only stared back at you.
“There wasn’t any.”
“Hm?” He queried.
“There wasn’t any. Thought process, I mean.” You muttered, taking a sip of the negroni. “I like both drinks – usually separately, but I’ve been dreaming about getting my ass down here since practically 9:30 this morning and I couldn’t choose which I wanted first and I knew that I planned on getting at least a little bit tipsy in order to pretend I didn’t have a completely mind-fucking day so I thought ‘fuck it, I’ll order both’ and I thought since it was no one’s business but my own what I put into my body that I could get away with it but clearly, I was wrong.” You felt winded after your mini rant as you looked back at the man. He seemed genuinely entertained at your story, though his eyes grew a bit softer.
“Thinking of drinking at 9:30 am, hm?” He pondered out loud. “You know, that’s usually the sign of a problem; one might call it alcoholism.”
You barked a laugh. “Yeah, you call it alcoholism, I call it Gilderoy Lockhart.”
“Ah, so boy-problems then, is it?” He asked in a laugh.
You shot him a warning look. “It is not like that.”
“I didn’t mean to offend.” He offered with his hands in the air in mock surrender. “Tell me what it’s like then.”
You sighed dramatically. “It’s really not that big of a deal, I’m just mad about stuff at school.”
“Ah, you’re a student, then?”
“PhD candidate, but technically, yes.” You offered, downing the rest of the negroni.
“Very neat. What’s your focus?” He asked again as you began sipping on your pint, trying not to grimace at the change in drink. You're sure you failed.
“Music.”
“Hm, I didn’t know one could get a PhD in music.” He queried.
“Music theory, but yeah.” You offered, moving your drink back and forth between your hands.
“And that brought you here? To England? Why not stay in Canada – if that’s where you’re from, pardon my assumption.” He quickly apologized.
You smirked at his correct assumption – thankful that you didn’t come off ‘too American’ today.
“She goes wherever the wind takes her.”
Your statement was met with silence, so you turned to see the man had frozen in his movements and stared at you incredulously.
“Are-are you quoting Disney movies to me?”
“So, you did get the reference.”
“I did, I just fail to see how Pocahontas relates to a PhD program in England on music theory.” He mutters, looking up at you from the rim of his drink.
“I finished my Masters, then the wind changed.” You offered with a shrug, “It brought me here.”
He seemed to study you for a few moments before coming to the conclusion that you weren't going to elaborate further. “And what does this Gabriel fellow have to do with the winds of musical theory?”
You snorted indelicately. “Nothing. He just, I don’t know, it sounds stupid now that I try to say it out loud.”
“None of that, now.” The man said gently with the same smirk on his face, “a smart girl like you doesn’t strike me as the type to overreact to male foolishness.”
He seemed honestly interested in your answer, at least, the most interested anyone has ever seemed in your ramblings about your toe headed fellow PhD’er. You tried facetime’ing your friends from home about him many-a-times before, and they listen but they don't get it. And your schedules don’t align and with the time-difference one of you is always either just waking up or going to bed. But this random, handsome guy in your bar making fun of your drinks has done nothing but listen so far and you really wanted to get it off your chest.
So, you did.
You told him how your morning started terribly as you ripped a hole in your stockings and only noticed once you got to campus and you usually don’t dress this formally to campus, but you were guest lecturing for Minerva and you know professors didn’t technically have a dress code, but she always looked well put together so, dammit, so were you. You explained that your mother always was the superstitious type and had you carry an emergency pair on you at all times, so you were thankfully able to change, but only after you spilled coffee on your blazer and had to shrug that off for the day and the lecture halls are ridiculously cold always; you know these stone buildings were built before electricity but surely with the great minds this school has churned out, they could find a way to keep the warm air in and cold drafts out?
And if all that hadn’t been bad enough, the other PhD candidate working under McGonagall is this absolute bell-end that you're almost positive has plagiarized half of his written work because everything he spews is absolute nonsense. He’s rude, and condescending, and spoke over you throughout all of your lectures to wax poetic about different Opera’s he’s performed in across the world - that you swear to God you will fact-check one of these days - that had absolutely nothing to do with the course content. And then, and then, he had the audacity to suggest you were only here because the school was required to accept a minimum number of foreign students and since you were, quote, just a woman, you also checked off their minority requirements too.
“People don’t get accepted here because of their nationality or their gender or their status as a minority. They’re supposed to get here because they’re good.” You muttered, finishing your pint you hadn’t realized you had guzzled during your rant
“And how’d Gavin get in, then?” He asked. You choked on the last of your beer.
“Fucked if I know.” You sighed.
A few more pints were placed in front of you as you continued to rant about the ins and outs of being a scholar in the world of music [for Christ’s sake, what was I thinking? I’ll never work a day in my life.] The man interrupting only to say that switching back to liquor would be a choice you would regret in the morning, and who were you to argue?
And he listened. He scoffed at some parts when you quoted Gilderoy suggesting something ridiculously altruistic that he’d done for the less fortunate while being nothing but condescending, he sprinkled in a few you’re kidding me’s, and even asked you to repeat something he couldn’t fathom the first time.
“See? I knew it. A smart girl like you wouldn’t overreact like that. Sounds like you’re perfectly justified in your ire.” He said.
You hummed as you finished your last pint. You felt thoroughly warm and heavy which was your intention of coming to the pub in the first place. You looked over to notice that the man – whose name you still hadn’t got – was still holding the same drink he had when you first arrived.
“Who are you here waiting for, then?” You asked him.
He looked confused for a moment. “How do you know I wasn’t just in desperate need of a drink myself?”
You nodded toward his still half-full cup in his hand. “Because you really haven’t been drinking.”
He narrowed his eyes and smirked at you. “Observant, aren’t you? Clever girl.” You rolled your eyes at the compliment.
“I was supposed to meet a business associate, actually.” He offered as he looked behind you towards the bar door. You turned to take in the rest of the bar yourself; it didn’t seem like the sort of place one would meet a business associate. The bar was dimly lit and somewhat claustrophobic; it didn’t offer a lot of privacy to talk business. You liked it because it was small - you’d be able to see everyone who was currently in the building with one sweep of your gaze save those who may be in the washrooms, and you could see out onto the street from your seat at the bar.
“I think it might be safe to say they stood you up.” You offered with a smirk as you turned to look back at him, only to find him already looking at you.
“I think you might be right.” He offered, looking you up and down.
You couldn’t help but admit he was quite attractive – and not just in his honey-blond curls and mischievous smirk and long limbs way, but he seemed clever, smart, and clearly he was a good listener. You sort of hoped he’d offer you his name, maybe even his number. You wouldn’t mind waiting around for a business associate of his with him again sometime.
You had no such luck.
He began to stand with an expression that bordered regret crossing his face.
“It appears I must be off.” He offered with a sad smirk as he placed some bills down on the table. You weren't quite familiar with the bills in the UK yet, but it seemed like an awful lot of money for the one drink he had at the bar that was still unfinished. You took notice of said drink as you came to this conclusion and got a weird feeling in your gut as he took the drink by the rim and brought it to his lips.
“Wait!” You said as you grabbed his arm. He tensed immediately and you pulled your hand away as if it burned. “I’m sorry. Just, is that the same drink you had when I first arrived?”
He looked from the drink back to you with furrowed brows. “Yes, why?”
You pointed to the drink he still held in his hand. “It’s old.”
He smirked. “Are you a drink snob, miss orders-two-incompatable-drinks-together-and-drinks-them-at-the-same-time?” You rolled your eyes and snatched the drink out of his hand as he brought it to his lips once again, which earned you an indignant ‘oi!’
“No, you berk, what I mean is, this drink is old. It’s warm to the touch, the ice has all melted and it should be as flat as a board but it’s bubbling, like, a lot.” You said as you held it in front of his eyes. He watched you for a few moments before you continued.
“It looks like someone put something in it.”
His gaze shot back to his drink where, sure enough, his should-be-flat diet coke was fizzing wildly as it began to turn a slightly murky shade.
You watched as he gently plucked the drink from your hand and casually put it back down on the bar and shrugged on his jacket.
“It appears you’re right.” He said in monotone. “Looks like we both ought to take our leave, hm?”
You nodded and followed suit; replacing your jacket and scarf you had ripped off unceremoniously as you had entered and headed for the door. The alcohol made you wobble for but a moment, but you were quickly righted by a gentle hand pressed to your lower back. Mortified, you put your best foot forward and marched out the door, hoping your embarrassment wasn't to evident in your cheeks.
You had to admit, you were beginning to panic. Why were you trusting this man? You had spent the last – you checked your watch – nearly two hours talking to this man whose name you still don’t know completely unaware of what was happening around you, and it turned out that there was someone here drugging drinks.
What if it’s him? An unhelpful part of your brain supplied. Why would he spike his own drink and then almost drink it? You argued back.
“You should be more careful.” You offered in what you had hoped to be a playful manner, but it came out strained. “Do you know of any reason why someone may want to spike your drink?”
He seemed to consider your question as you both walked somewhat briskly down the busy street to the subway station.
“No reason that would be suitable to share in the presence of a lady, I’m afraid.” He offered with a wink, leaning down slightly with his hands in his pocket. This answer didn’t make you feel any better.
“Any particular reason why you’re familiar with the signs of a spiked drink?” He offered back.
“I have a feeling most girls would be able to answer that.”
“Hm, perhaps. But I do not believe all would be as quick to catch it as you were.”
You didn’t answer him; you decided you had shared more than enough with this stranger tonight, and you were officially feeling all sorts of uncomfortable with the situation. You were mostly uncomfortable with how not uncomfortable you felt. It felt easy, walking with this stranger, as if you’ve been walking down dreary streets of London together for ages and this was just another Tuesday.
He stopped suddenly and flagged a taxi. You scowled at how quickly a cab stopped for him and his long as arms.
“Here, it’s too muggy for such a lady to brave the underground.” He offered as he opened the door. You began to protest, you had a tube pass through school for a reason, but his hand was on your lower back again as he gently led you into the car and closed the door before sticking his head in the window of the front passenger seat and tossing a handful of bills at the driver.
“Anywhere she wants to go.” He said, stepping back to the middle of the sidewalk and waving you off.
Between the alcohol, your nerves and being disarmed by the attractiveness of this man, you simply spouted the address of your flat to the driver and turned your face forward. The whole evening seemed otherworldly – like you were missing a big chunk of information of what happened tonight, even though you could account for every minute of it.
Your suspicions would have been proven correct if you had turned around to see your mystery man again, who was now accompanied by two other similarly dressed men - one with an unruly mop of brown curls and a shorter man with long black hair tied back haphazardly - who began chasing a fourth man in earnest down the street in the opposite direction.
Continue to part two here.
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tache-noire · 2 years ago
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Bokurano, Paranoia Agent, or Serial Experiments Lain
The Floor is Open
What is the best anime opening, no holds no rules
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harunayuuka2060 · 1 year ago
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Vil's dad: Sweetheart, can you promise Dad that you will focus more on your studies first?
Kid MC: Why, Dad?
Vil's dad: Well, because, *glancing at Helix and Claw*
Vil: Dad, you needn't to worry. Potato would be thinking twice before messing around.
Kid MC: Come on now, Dad. You know that kindergarten relationships don't last for a few months or so.
Vil's dad: Are you sure? You're one, adorable child. There's no way you wouldn't be the center of attraction.
Vil's dad: *sigh* I remember when Vil was a child once.
Kid MC: But kids weren't attracted to him because he was a snob. *laughs*
Vil: *frowns* What did you say just now, Potato?
Kid MC: I was just joking.
Vil's dad: *chuckles* But I'm serious, okay? Studies first.
Kid MC: Okay, Dad!
Vil's dad: I'll be going to work now. Vil?
Vil: Yes, Dad. I'll be keeping my eyes on them.
Helix: Take care, sir.
Claw: T-Take care, uncle!
Vil's dad: Thank you, boys. *gives MC a kiss on the forehead then leaves for work*
Vil: So, what you'll be doing?
Claw: W-We're going to my house.
Vil: Ah. I see. Well, I know you'll be safe there, potato. Greet Jack for me.
Kid MC: Okay! *to Helix and Claw* Let's go!
Helix and Claw: *nods*
Jack: These are your friends, Claw? *grins* Welcome!
Claw: Um, Papa? MC here said that they were your friend in college.
Jack: ...
Jack: Who?
Claw: *pointing at MC*
Kid MC: *beams*
Jack: ...
Jack: There's no way.
Kid MC: You dated Epel once.
Jack: ...
Jack's wife: *is in the kitchen* *starts chopping loudly*
Jack: ...
Jack: That wasn't true.
Kid MC: Hehe~ You believe me now?
Jack: But how? What happened?
Kid MC: It was a long story.
Kid MC: ...
Kid MC: Crowley dropped me off in the wrong place and I got hit by a truck.
Jack: Oh.
Jack: ...
Jack: Deserved.
Jack: *laughs when they pout at him*
Jack's wife: *who also giggled*
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optimistic-violinist · 8 months ago
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Hot Take: Magnifico learning magic and learning how to protect the wishes would've been a better plot for Wish.
Think of it. We start with a town on fire and see Magnifico running away. Maybe he gets caught by the villain. "Any last wishes?" Maybe we see his parents or siblings tackle the villain and tell him to run only for him to watch them be killed (off screen of course).
We get a shot of our villain. I'm thinking a very Shan Yu-like from Mulan. Just, evil. Pillager. Bad Guy.
Magnifico escapes. Since he's gonna be voiced by Chris Pine still (of course), we get the ROTG voice over. "I never saw them again. I never saw my home again. And I vowed that that would never happen again. But that was a long time ago." Cue musical sting, pan up to the night sky and wishing star, title.
Fast forward, Magnifico is now a teenager. Has an adopted mother, living in a cottage in the woods or something near town. He's trying to study magic in his free time, his mother is worried about him getting in over his head. He wants to apply for the magic school in the town. Cue song a la "When Will My Life Begin."
He takes the magic exam and isn't bad, but isn't good enough. Maybe they're snobs, maybe it's really that he failed fair and square.
Note: Amaya also lives in this town. They're friends.
Breakdown that night. Cue "So I Make This Wish," almost verbatim and summons... STAR!
Humanoid Boy Star from the concept art, specifically.
They get talking. Magnifico is obviously starstruck (ba dum tish).
M: "you're, you're---"
S: stupendous, extraordinary, splendiferous?
M: magnificent
Cue discussion about why he's out there wishing, the magic exam, why he wants to learn magic, and Star offers to teach him.
Not sure what happens here. Probably mini-quest to get magic books or items. Upbeat montage song. At the end, hint that the bad guy is coming to destroy this town now.
Somewhere in here, we befriend Amaya more and Magnifico starts to fall in love with her. Cue cute romantic song, something about wishing for each other. Star in the background a la Eponine from Les Mis. NOW we can either go romance or friendship route: either way, there is pining about how he is a cosmic entity, ageless, can't stay forever, and Magnifico is going to grow up and do great things without him.
Oh no!! Bad guys are suddenly a lot closer! We've got to prep and do something! Potentially an ensemble/town song. Culminates in Star asking Magnifico what his wish really is. We see his wish is founding Rosas with Amaya at his side. Star reassures him that that's exactly what he's going to do and teaches him how to take and protect wishes. We got a duet a la "For Good" between them. Star tells him that he's going to be magnificent.
Big battle against the bad guys! Magnifico with his really cool sorcery powers! He takes the Bad Guy's wish to harm people and makes him forget it. Magnifico also gets a cool "Defying Gravity" song here with some line about promising to protect people's wishes and if he should ever fail or use that power for evil, may he be cursed or something. Foreshadowing, y'know?
We get one last goodbye as Star goes to leave. Do they kiss? Maybe. Do they have A SUPER TIGHT TENDER HUG FULL OF LOVR AND CARE. ABSOLUTELY. I LIVE FOR THAT. Probably a reprise of one of the songs here.
Fast forward once more to Magnifico as a young adult with Amaya, sailing on a ship as they discover the island that will become Rosas.
Fin.
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aves-ery · 1 year ago
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CEO or Mob boss Wanda and stripper R👀 maybe she's just getting some visit to a certain club and she only have her for R but R is kind avoiding her. R is kind of snappy and feisty for Wanda but Wanda loved her more. One night she saw R entertaining other guests so she brought the whole club and kicked everyone out so she could have R all for herself.
Idk maybe you'd like to consider, btw you works are great and wonderful and so are you! Thanks!!!
one, thank you! two, this is ctually so bad bc I'm tired and for some reason forgot how to write good smut? but heres just wanda crazy for you.
pairing; CEO!wanda x stripper!reader
warnings; smut 18+ ONLY, infatuated wanda, praise!!, strap-on, fingering
if anyone saw wanda at a strip club, it'd be a field day for press. but quite honestly, she didnt care when she laid her eyes on you. she saw the flashes of the cameras when she walked in, but when she saw you in that lingerie, she didn't care what the articles were gonna read the next day.
wanda sat snug in a booth, watching you from afar. her silk button up was unbuttoned down to her upper stomach, her boobs only covered by her tight fitting sports-bra.
"i want that one," she pointed you out to all of her boss friends, a beer bottle still in hand. you were all over someone else, a lap dance she presumed.
one of the guys whistled you over, waving a "come here" motion. wanda knew it wasnt the way to get your attention, but you followed through, stalking over to them. you smiled, waving.
"hey gentlemen," you said seductively, plopping your pretty ass onto Tony's lap. wanda rolled her eyes.
"actually, as pretty as you are baby, this one wanted ya," tony pointed to wanda, and wanda waved her fingers.
"you just caught my eye, pretty," she said. you recognized the CEO immediately. you had to fight an eyeroll because no way in hell you were letting some snob like wanda touch you. you turned to the gruffy man whose lap you are on.
"i came over to see you," you avoided. the men around the table laughed, making fun of wanda. wanda just told them to all "shut the fuck up."
she tried to get your attention all night, buying you drinks, complimenting you, trying to just make you say hi. all she'd get in response is an eye roll and a "leave me alone."
"yo, get away from the girl she told you to stop," a bouncer said, pushing wanda away from you.
"look man, im not trying to cause a problem. she's just a pretty lady," wanda laughed, trying to use her charm to make him let her through.
"sorry, the girls not comfortable with you," the bouncer said again. wanda groaned, pulling out her wallet.
"c'mon ill even pay to just talk to her, man," wanda pulled out a few hundred dollar bills, and you rolled your eyes at the interaction. "i wont touch her, fucking promise. just wanna get to know the gal," wanda pleaded.
the bouncer looked at you, pointing at the money. wanda was at least holding 500 dollars in her hand currently. it was a silent agreement, and wanda was allowed into the private room
she handed a bill to the bouncer, then a few to you, before sitting in one of the booths. "you're a feisty one," she joked. you rolled your eyes.
"you can't buy me," she snapped. wanda nodded.
"im not trying to, babe. you're just... very intriguing," wanda said.
-
you had complained all of the next week, even after you didnt see wanda. you just didnt want her around, and didn't want her paying her way to you.
wanda found that out quickly, but she couldn't help it. you deserved to be worshiped with everything she could buy.
she sent you flowers, chocolates, everything to work. she didn't even know what days you worked, and she still sent them. Every time, you snacked on the chocolate and left the flowers in the trash. you didn't complain about that though. if she was going to spend money on you, she was going to laugh about it.
wanda came again two weeks later. she smiled and waved at you, but you continued flirting with a client. your hands on the man more than usual, making sure to get a rise out of her. you avoided her, but from close by. she'd call you over, and you'd give a lap dance to a guy near her.
wanda was fucking tired of it. that week, she bought the whole strip club. when you found out, you quit.
"no." wanda said.
"what?! you're fucking crazy. you're stalking me!" you screamed. wanda raised her eyebrows, standing up
"im not stalking you!" she screamed back at you
you laughed, "right. you're just fucking craz-" wanda kissed you. hard. you pushed her away, looking at her like she was actually insane, because she was, and then you kissed her back harder.
wanda grabbed your hips, picking you up and setting you on her desk. "you were just too pretty to leave alone. I'd buy the whole earth to be with you," she told you.
you thought she was joking, but she really wasn't. wanda was infatuated with you. when you looked her in the eyes, you could tell. you kissed her hard, allowing the woman you barely knew to have all of you.
"you're so pretty," wanda said, removing your sweater and kissing your breasts. you blushed, nodding.
"thank you," you whispered, moaning softly.
"you'll never have to work again, okay? and I'll win you over, i promise. I'll take you out on dates, I'll buy you dinner," wanda got on her knees sliding your shorts down, looking at you in the eyes. "I'll do anything, for you."
you blushed again, nodding, "win me over," you moaned. wanda nodded, sliding your panties over and taking you in.
"such a good girl," she praised, licking you fully. you shook softly, tangling your hands into wanda's hair. her lips found your clit, sucking softly.
you let out another breathy moan, and another as two digits pushed into you. your hand flew everything off the desk, and you lied back. wanda could deal with it later, you decided.
she was quick to make you cum, cleaning your thighs and kissing them both. she got rid of her pants, revealing a large red strap on. you looked at wanda with shaky arms and legs, smiling at her.
she didn't bother to take her button up off, only her pants and boxers, before shuffling towards you. "can i make you mine?" wanda asked, kissing your palms. you smiled up at her.
"yes," you said again, kissing her deeply. wanda smiled, lining her strap up with your cunt, before softly making her way into you.
the strap was the biggest you've taken, so you were grateful for wanda's soft nature. she looked at you, searching for any sign of discomfort. when she didn't find any, she started to go faster.
your hands found her back, gripping her shoulders and scratching down her back, "faster, wanda," you pleaded.
wanda nodded quickly, making sure to pick up the pace, "anything for you, doll," wanda kissed her thumb. she grabbed your boobs, kissing them both before kissing your lips. "you're so pretty like this," wanda said, kissing you again.
"thank you," you moaned. wanda's hand found your clit, rubbing softly until you came around her strap.
when you finished, she pulled out and washed you up with a washcloth. she then put you back into your shorts, and then her own hoodie.
"gonna get you back home and run you a bath, kay? dont gotta worry about anything ever again. I'll take care of you."
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