#I'm like... Sir are you sure? I think my brain feels he's too normal. He doesn't have Something Wrong ™ with him. Or is weird enough for me

[mrfoox]

God, I am such a... Motherly type of person and I don't even try to be it just... I catch myself in the act and I'm like ah... Oh... Hmm

Yes, I basically told Andreas my fwb to come lay on my chest and tell me about his work (vent) and he went on and on as I stroked his hair and nodded along

[thebucketpail]

A little blurb based on this thought that I had

When You Accidentally Kill a Clown pt. 1

Pt. 2 Ao3

This is not ideal. Danny thought deftly as he stared in shock at the absolutely massive problem he had just created for himself. He blinked slowly, trying to bring his brain back to speed. Definitely not Ideal.

Not even one week in Gotham, that was all it took to make such a big mess, thank you very much Fenton Luck. Danny had been accepted into Gotham U, having qualified for practically a full ride scholarship, and started next week. He had been in town to get settled for about three days when he was walking back to his apartment from a nearby Batburger.

Unfortunately a certain clown mistook him for a Wayne and well… yeah, he needed help with this.

“Hey Danny what’s up?” Sam’s voice rang as the call finally connected.

“Sam I think I have a problem,”

“What? Your roommate’s too Hot?΅ she joked

“No- no it's not my roommate-” he squeaked out. Shit how would he explain this? Logically Sam would be perfectly normal about it, probably even ecstatic, considering he did just-

“I killed the Joker” Danny blurted plowing past the sputtering noises coming from the other end of the line, “I didn’t mean to, i was just walking back to my apartment and he jumped out of an alley and tried to kidnap me, and you know I hate clowns and he caught me off guard, and well humans are a lot more squishy than ghosts and I think I used a bit too much force, but yeah.” he paused for a breath, “I killed the Joker, At least I think it's him. Ancients, Sam the bats are gonna kill me for this”

The tinny laughter he got in reply did nothing to calm Danny’s fraying nerves.

“Sam don’t laugh what am I meant to do?’’ He hissed

It took a few more moments for Sam to collect herself before she responded. “I’m sorry Danny, that's just so you of you to manage killing the Joker your first week in Gotham. Holdup, I'm gonna get Tuck real quick.”

As the sound of shuffling and footsteps filled the receiver, Danny tried calming down. Breathing deeply he walked over to examine the body. Yep, he thought, definitely the Joker, that pasty face and greasy green hair were hard to mistake, even for a non-Gothamite. Danny wrinkled his nose at the acrid stench rising from the smoking crater in the clown’s gut. You can never be too sure though, so Danny reached over to check for a pulse. Nothing.

The distant bickering died down as Tucker’s voice rang from Danny’s phone.

“Duuue, did you really?”

Danny took a shaky breath, raising the device back to his face, “Y-Yeah, he’s dead,” God please don’t let him come back to haunt me. ”Tuck what do I do?”

“Honestly man, I think you should just leave him, someone will find him eventually,” Tuck replied, the nonchalance oozing through his voice.

“I don’t know, I feel like we should tell someone or something-”

“Holy Shit!” Danny froze at the new voice coming from behind him. “Is that really him?” Red Hood asked incredulously. Ancients that's THE RED HOOD. Danny is so double dead.

“Tuck, I think someone found out,” he whispered into the mic, not taking his eyes off the imposing Figure that was the literal RED HOOD.

“It’s probably fine,” but Danny cut him off with a strangled yelp as Red Hood turned to face him Muscles tensing, shifting from shock to Ancients Danny hoped that rage wasn’t directed at him. That hope slowly dwindled as the vigilante stalked toward him, hand drifting toward the holster at his hip. Danny gulped.

“Did you do this?!” Hood seethed, and Yup Danny was going to die again today. What should he say? ‘Yes mr red hood sir I killed the Joker please don’t kill me’ no, no he should not say that. So he settled to let out a strangled squeak and a small nod.

Danny couldn’t breath as Hood crouched to assess the body. I didn’t breathe when Hood stared him down. No Danny didn’t even breathe when a distorted laugh rang through the air, or when Tucker and Sam anxiously screamed at Danny to respond.

“I Can’t believe the Fucker’s finally dead,” Hood breathed, kicking the dead clown for good measure. “What’s your Name Kid?”

Finally Danny let a relieved sigh escape his lips, he Probably wouldn’t die again tonight.

“Um, Danny?” he said tentatively, his voice rising toward the end making it sound more like a question. Hood just laughed more.

“Well Danny, do you like burgers? I've got to thank you somehow.” Dany was in shock. What. the actual. Hell. slowly he nodded because what else was he supposed to do when RED freaking HOOD offered him food for killing a literal terrorist on accident. “Good, I have to make a few quick calls but don’t go anywhere.” and he walked a few paces away, leaving Danny in Shock and confusion.

Slowly he raised the forgotten phone to his ear. “Uuuuh Guys…” he waited a moment for the yelling to die down before continuing, yeah, this might be interesting.

[thezombieprostitute]

Hummingbird - Part 2

Summary: You didn't want to break into someone's party but you were desperate to see the art at the gallery before it was gone. You're so busy trying to make sure no one sees you that you miss the ever present gaze of Steve Rogers who is wondering why you crashed his party.

Word Count: ~1500

A/N: Reader is female but no physical descriptors are used.

Warnings: I don't think there are any, but please let me know if I'm wrong on that!

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

You look over the party invite, feeling slightly guilty for receiving so many of them without ever actually going. You tell yourself all the excuses but ultimately it all comes down to you feeling like you’re taking advantage of Mr. Rogers generosity. You were only doing what any other good person should do. Why would anyone think that deserves a reward? Sighing, you put the invitation with the stack of others. 

While you’re pondering your dinner options you hear a knock at your door. Confused, you look through the peephole and freeze. That tall, thick build and blonde hair is definitely Mr. Rogers. You crack the door open, “hello, Sir. What…what are you doing here?”

“Honestly, Hummingbird, I’m a little hurt,” he chides. His hands are on his hips and his expression is stern. “It’s been a lot of months, a lot of invites, a lot of art shows and you haven’t once taken me up on my offer. I called the curator and she said she hadn’t seen you, even during normal gallery hours.” You drop your face in shame. “Are you not actually interested in art? Is it really just one artist that gets your attention?”

“N-no, Sir-”

“Steve.”

“No, Steve, I…I just…” your brain scrambles to come up with something. Just a few minutes ago you told yourself all of the excuses you needed but with his piercing, blue eyes seemingly looking into your soul, they all feel baseless. “I…I don’t have nice enough clothes.” 

He smiles, and not in a comforting way. It reminds you of the first smile he gave you, when he knew the perfect reward. “I was wondering if it was something like that. May I come in?” 

A part of you feels like you really shouldn’t but his demeanor has you opening up the door, gesturing for him to enter. He nods at you and comes inside, carrying a black box with a white ribbon. You close the door behind him and turn to see him holding out the box to you.

“A gift from Monica’s parents. Had to guess at the measurements, so I’m under orders to make sure it fits.” You take the box and set it on your kitchen table before opening it. Inside is the most beautiful dress you’ve ever seen. The embroidery is stunning. You gasp as you carefully lift the dress out of the box and see that it covers the dress. It’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever held and you’re scared you’ll somehow tear it or ruin it. 

“Si–Steve,” you whisper as tears start forming in your eyes, “it’s…it’s too much. It’s too beautiful. I…I can’t-”

“Hummingbird,” he grumbles, “if you tell me you can’t accept it, I’ll have to go back to Danvers and Rambeau with the bad news that their gift was not accepted.” You wince at the thought. “Not accepting my gift is one thing, you only saved my party and my reputation. Not accepting their gift is far more insulting since it’s a thank you for rescuing their daughter.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you mumble. 

“I figured.” He steps closer to you. “Now, as I said, I am under orders to make sure that the dress does fit you. While I am here, would you please try it on and inform me if there are spots where it doesn’t fit right? I promise to stay seated here at the table.”

“Um..but, we…we don’t, I don’t know you well enough. Can you come back another day and I’ll tell you how it fits? Or I could message you about the fit?”

“Are you asking for my number, Hummingbird?” Heat rushes to your face as he confidently smirks at you. “I appreciate your hesitation but, as I said, I’m under orders from Monica’s mothers and they are not the kind of ladies you want to disobey. I will stay just outside your apartment door, lock it behind me if you want, but I need you to try that dress on now.”

You nod and gesture to your apartment door. As he starts walking he notices the small pile of invites he’s sent you these past few months. 

“You didn’t throw them away?”

“No, of course not. They’re a nice reminder of that night.” He nods his head but doesn’t say anything, closing the door behind him. 

You lock the deadbolt and take the dress to your room. In truth you’re terrified of accidentally ripping the dress but you’re incredibly excited to try on the beautiful piece of clothing. As you strip your casual wear you hope you can do the dress justice. 

With the utmost care you put on the dress. The sleeve is a little confusing at first but the more of the dress that settles the easier it is to navigate. You’re amazed at how perfectly it fits. He said they had to guess your measurements. Well, whoever made the guess has a very good eye. You look at yourself in the mirror and gasp at the pretty woman looking back at you. The dress is a perfect fit and you’ve never felt more beautiful. With a confidence you’ve never felt before, you go back to the apartment door to let Steve know. 

The door opens and Steve greets you with a bouquet of pink and lavender roses. That burst of confidence is gone and you freeze, blinking at him.

“I see you’re ready for the party,” he beams. “We should show up a little early since I am hosting and need to double check some details. But don’t worry about those, you just have fun tonight, okay?”

“B..but the…the invite said…next month.”

“Oh that’s correct. There’s another party next month. Huh,” he mused, “the invite to this party must’ve been lost in the mail.”

“Si–Steve, that wasn’t nice to trick me.”

“It also wasn’t nice for you to snub my gift.”

“I…I didn’t, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay, Hummingbird,” he soothes. “Just this one, and if you still don’t want to attend any parties or visit the gallery, I’ll leave you be.”

“Thank you. Let me put these flowers in some water before we go?”

He gently kisses your hand, “of course.”

Steve holds the door to the gallery open for you. You’re hoping you can just spend the evening getting lost in the art and not drawing attention to yourself. You really don’t want to embarrass Steve by upsetting his guests or ruining the party in some other way. 

The two of you are greeted by the curator who says she’s pleased to finally meet you and she hopes to see you more often. You smile weakly, thinking she’s just being nice because Steve is there. She leads you both to the hall where the party is being set up. You’re a little surprised that it’s empty of people. Giving Steve a confused look you ask, “how early are we?”

“We’re exactly on time,” he smiles gently. “I still want to thank you for your actions so I’ve rented the place for just you. Take your time, enjoy yourself. If you need something to eat or drink, just ask and I’ll get it for you. If you want to do this without me around, I’ll stay back. If you want to talk about the artwork instead of just looking at it, I’ll be happy to join you. It’s all your decision.”

“Th..the dress?”

“I wasn’t lying about that. It is a thank you gift from Monica’s mothers.”

“How’d they get my measurements so right? They barely saw me.”

Steve smirks at that, “I gave them the measurements.” You look at him in surprise and he chuckles, “I’ve got a lot of experience in sizing people up.” Whether it’s nerves catching up with you or the absurdity of the situation you actually laugh at that and find yourself relaxing a little. His eyes light up at your laugh but he doesn’t say anything. 

“Okay, Steve,” you nod. “I think I’d like to walk with you. As much as I enjoyed the last show, it probably would’ve been more fun if I had someone to share the experience with.”

Steve offers you his arm and you don’t hesitate to take it. He’s happy to let you take the lead. You spend the next few hours walking together and talking about the different artists, techniques and mediums you see. Steve is delighted to see how excited you get the more comfortable you are. You’re brimming with energy and you flit back and forth between pieces while talking. 

As exciting as it all is, you do still get tired after a while. Every time you try to stifle a yawn you swear you see Steve’s eyes twinkle at you in amusement. Soon it’s impossible to even try.

“What do you say we get you home, Hummingbird?”

“But there’s so much more to see!”

“You’re barely awake,” he chuckles. “Let’s get you home. You can see more at the next party.”

“Next party?”

“If, of course, you’re still interested. If not, that latest invite will be the last you receive, I promise.”

“Noooo,” you whimper tiredly. “I’ve had so much fun. Haven’t had this much fun in such a long time.”

“Me too, Hummingbird,” he murmurs. “Me, too.”

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

Tags:

@alicedopey

@aryhyuuga

@cynic-spirit

@ktficworld

@rebekahdawkins

If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know.

[gyupinkys]

thinking about absolutely insane yandere cheol n hoshi x knife/gunplay .. just imagine .. they’d be so ruthless with you, making sure that both of them are forever engraved in your brain .. and the STAMINA ugh anyways

also I feel like cheol would have a daddy kink whereas hoshi would have more of a sir kink? idk what are your thoughts

I just found ur account not too long ago but I’m obsessed with your works!!! thank you for being such an amazing writer <3

p.s not sure if u do anon tags but I’ll probably be active on here since I love ur works sm so if you do end up having anon tags could i be your 🐇 anon?

I'm glad you enjoy my work and tysm for reading!! I absolutely agree that Cheol would have a daddy kink whereas hoshi would have a sir kink. And this ask.. right up my alley. 

WC: 1.6K

WARNINGS: Yandere, murder, kidnapping, gun play, DUB CON, fingering, unprotected sex, degradation, slut shaming, double penetration??, choking, daddy/sir kink, creampie, sex tape

You tried to listen to Cheol’s words. No one is fucking stalking you, those things only happen in the movies. No ones stealing your panties, they're just getting lost in the dryer. Those stains on your sheets? Probably from your lotion. And the gifts, flowers, random envelopes of money? Just from a friendly neighbor who is probably too afraid to say hi to you. You tell yourself these things as you hear your bedroom window slide open. Too afraid to alert the man in bed next to you, too afraid to move, to breathe. You tell yourself these things as you hear not one but two sets of footsteps walking around your bedroom, nearing your bed. You tell yourself these things as you make eye contact with Cheol, a hateful look on his face as he grabs the man by his hair and slits his throat, the blood flying over you. It’s the last thing you tell yourself as Hoshi whispers “Just close your eyes, my flower.” in your ear as you feel something sharp pierce your neck. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're so uncomfortable and so hot. You're on a very comfortable bed yet your body is twisted and It feels like heat is surrounding your body from all around, making you groan. 

“Look who's up.” Cheol speaks into your hair, inhaling deeply. 

“Cheolie?” you whimper.

He grabs your hair and forces you to look at him.

“It’s daddy to you, my love.”

“What? Cheol let go of me.”

You hear a gun cock and feel a cool metal press to the side of your head from behind.

“Don’t misbehave, my flower. I wouldn't want you to make your  punishment worse.” Hoshi says from behind you.  Well that explains the heat.

“Hoshi, what are you doing?”

He presses the barrel harder into your skull making you whimper.

“I want you to call me sir.” he whispers into your ear. You groan, this is so embarrassing.

You go with the better of the two.

“Sir, what's going on?”

“I couldn't wait anymore baby, you were getting too scared, too suspicious. I especially couldn't stand to see you fuck that son of a bitch. It’s your fault he’s dead. If you kept those slutty legs closed none of this would happen.”

You start to cry. What is happening?

“So it was you two stalking me?” you say in tears.

“Bingo baby.” Hoshi says, patting your head. It seems like he’s the good cop in this situation.

“Just let me go.”

“And why would we do that? We just got you.” Cheol says as his hands begin roaming your body.

“Cheol stop.”

He gives you the scariest, darkest look you’ve ever seen.

“Daddy” you whimper, beginning to cry even harder.

“That's more like it, baby.”

“What is it, flower?” hoshi whispers as his hand travels to your ass beginning to squeeze. You groan feeling your mind and body begin to get conflicted. You hate them, you hate them because they know how you feel about them. They know you’ve wanted them for as long as you’ve known them. Why couldn't they do this the normal way? Why did they have to be psycho murderous stalkers?

Cheols hands move between your legs and beginning rubbing you over your panties. Hoshi moves his hands to your breast beginning to harshly rub and squeeze making you whimper out in pain. So much for being a good cop…

“Sir, it hurts.”

“I’m glad.” he chuckles, putting down the gun.

Cheol moves to hover over you taking in your tear stained face. “Don’t waste your tears baby, you're going to need them.” He pulls off your flimsy sleep shorts and panties beginning to rub your clit in harsh circles. You try to push at his chest only to be forced down by your throat. 

“Take it baby. I don’t wanna hear a word out of you if it’s not daddy or sir.”

You whimper. God you hated this but it felt so good. He thrusts three fingers in you, feeling zero resistance as you clench around him.

“Daddy please it hurts.” 

“If it hurts why are you so wet?”

Well, he got you there. 

Hoshi, probably tired of being neglected, turns your face and captures your lips in a heated kiss. You try to pull away when you run out of air only to be held in place. You begin to choke from the lack of air, feeling yourself begin to panic and squirm. 

“Fuck hosh, shes getting so much tighter.” Cheol groans.

“I want to feel.” Hoshi pouts.

“Wait your turn.” Cheol growls, pulling his fingers out of you and using your wetness as lube for his hard cock. “Baby, I’m gonna make you feel so good. Fuck you until all you can remember is me, well I guess the stockholm syndrome will help with that.” he smirks, pushing into you completely and ignoring your groans as he begins to thrust so hard you feel your thighs sting. He pounds you into the bed, hearing the bed creek with each movement. 

“Daddy.” you yelp, trying to find something to grip onto to ground you, yet you doubt anything will distract you from his brutal pace. He fucks you for what feels like hours, his huge cock, moving in and out, in and out.

“Daddy, can I cum?”

“You think you deserve to cum after you slutted yourself out?”

“No” You groan. “Look at you using that brain.” he says.

“You’ve had enough, it's my turn.” Hoshi harshly shoves Cheol and flips you around. He puts you on all fours and arches your back, quickly thrusting into you and begins to fuck you so hard you genuinely see white. You cant hear anything, see anything, think of anything but the feeling of him fucking you. You're harshly brought out of your daze when you feel something cold and wet probing your ass. You muster up the strength to mutter “Sir, what are you doing?”

“This hole is looking empty, baby. I’m gonna fill you up real nice don’t worry.” Cheol says with a slight laugh in his voice.

He begins to push the lubed gun into your ass, slowly thrusting it in and out of you while Hoshi picks up his pace. 

“I wish you could see this, Flower.”

“She can.” Cheol says and pulls out his phone, beginning to take pictures of the filthy scene.

“God, I’m gonna cum in this sweet pussy.” Hoshi groans as his thrust falters, bottoming out completely and filling you up completely. He pulls out with a sigh, admiring your swollen pussy, leaking with his cum. 

You slump onto the bed, only to be pulled up by Cheol. The gun being pressed to your head yet again.

“Don’t get tired on me baby, It’s my turn again.”

[barblaz-arts]

Last Hazbin character ask, thoughts on Emily, Sera, Lute, and Pentious (you forgot him when talking about main characters)?

Emily

You mean the love of my life???? I am very normal about her.

Lol but fr tho she's in my top favorite characters right after Vaggie and Charlie. She's just so sweet and kind. I love characters who remain that way even after their world view is challenged, just with less naivety. Characters who are so morally good are just so especially interesting to me in a show like Hazbin Hotel that's just filled with assholes of every flavor(with some more redeemable than the others ofc).

Seeing her get mad at Sera was so satisfying btw. Righteous/protective anger looks so good on sweet characters like Charlie and Emily.

Her singing voice is also one of my favorites, along with Charlie, Lucifer and Carmilla. Recently found out that she was one of the talented ladies who sang in the First Burn mv for Hamilton too. She's the third girl that appears, coming in for the harmony. Seeing her sing in a song with Rachel Ann Go feels like a crazy crossover for a Filipino like me because Rachel Ann is a famous singer over here.

Sera

I think she's a neat character! The type of self-righteous, classist christian I'd avoid like the plague irl, but so fascinating as a character. I'm really curious as to what direction the story will take her to. I can more or less guess the case for other characters, but I can't quite pinpoint the goal for Sera, because I'm not quite sure yet if she's gonna be truly a bad person like Adam and Lute. She could either double down on refusing to let sinners into heaven or see the error of her ways. The former is probably more likely, but I'm not opposed to idea of the latter happening.

Lute

Logical brain: she deserves to suffer so much more for what she did to Vaggie and calling her love for Charlie "vile and blasphemous"

Sapphic brain: ... Scary angel lady hot tho...

Jokes aside, I'd love to see what kinda antagonist she'd be as the one calling the shots instead of just being Adam's sidekick this time. I wanna see her spiral and just become worse and worse. I also need a rematch between her and Vaggie that's a little more fair, where Vaggie is now more used to fighting again. With the whole one-eye VS one-arm thing making it even more even.

Sir Pentious

My boy!!!!! I really didn't expect to like him as much as I do. I liked him fine in the pilot, but they made him so dang cute in the show. You can tell Alex Brightman loved voicing him too. I really hope we get to see what he's up to in heaven. I'm proud of him for being first to ascend, but im scared some angels might be wary or even threatened by his presence in heaven. They do have a pretty bad track record with snakes after all.

[inneedofsupervision]

An Enemy? A Friend? No, just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Chapter 5: The Genius controls the Chaos

Summary:

"Come on, Parker, say something. But don't make it embarrassing," thinks Peter. "Those are your childhood heroes, and they want something from you. Just say hi like a normal person." "Good evening, Mr. Barton, Sir. Mr. Wilson, Sir." "How do you know our names," asks Clint, sounding genuinely curious. "You have a Wikipedia page!" blurts Peter out before wincing inwardly. There goes his plan for a non-embarrassing first impression. "You've read our Wikipedia pages?" asks Sam slowly, as if saying the words slowly would let them make more sense. "Twice, actually." ________________________________ Are the Avengers a Team? Yes. Are they on good terms? Not necessarily. Has the public caught up on that? Maybe a little. When Fury sends the team on the mission to investigate the identity of New York's favorite vigilante, they have to learn to work as a team and not damage their already battered image. Or, the story of how the Avengers have to earn the public's trust back with the help of a certain crime fighting Spider.

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4

Chapter Summary: Peter and Ned visit the Stark Expo where some surprises await them.

Read on Ao3

"I'm still struggling to convince my brain that this is real. We are seriously on our way to visit the Stark Expo. That's literally the coolest thing happening in forever. Wait, are you sleeping?"

Peter jumps up in his seat as a finger pokes him somewhat harshly into his side. He instinctively clamps an arm down to fend off further sneak attacks before he yawns. Blinking, he notices the lack of gigantic raccoons destroying NYC, demanding to speak to the people who have put locks on the lids of their garbage tons. What a dream to wake up to.

"Are we there yet?" asks Peter while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He glances around, scanning the area for anything remotely raccoon-like.

"Dude, we didn't even leave yet," answers his friend, but not without shaking his head, wearing an incredulous expression. "How can you be sleeping when we're on our way to the Expo? Aren't you excited?"

Ned looks at Peter as if struggling to comprehend that his best friend isn't vibrating in his seat from sheer pent-up energy.

"I just dozed off," defends Peter, slightly flustered that it didn't take two minutes sitting on the uncomfortable plastic seats for him to fall asleep. Who can fault him? The seats may not be the most comfy, but the inside of the bus is hot thanks to the summer sun and a defective AC, making him tired. It doesn't help that the bus guide has one of the most monotone voices Peter has ever heard in his life, and the combination of both puts him faster to sleep than any glass of milk and honey ever could. He does hide another gigantic yawn behind the palm of his hand, but that's going as well as blindly driving a bike on the highway.

"You're doing okay, though, right?" questions Ned. Peter could practically feel Ned's eyes scanning him as if staring hard enough would make any hidden injuries visible. Apart from some slight bags under his eyes, Peter thought he looked relatively alright this morning.

"Yeah, sure. I just stayed out a bit too long," appeases Peter quickly and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Not that he had to hide anything, but he couldn't help getting quite nervous under Ned's gaze. Ned's accusatory expression gives way to unlaminated curiosity at the mention of Peter's nighttime outings.

The bus slowly rolls off the parking lot.

Ned opens a package of chocolate chip cookies, holding it out for Peter.

"How was it? Anything cool happening?"

"About that..." Peter began to depict the events of yesterday's night while munching on his cookie. Most passengers fell victim to a light slumber or sat dozing with headphones covering their ears in their seats while the urban jungle passed by. Still cautious, Peter leans a little closer toward Ned to hinder anyone from eavesdropping, telling him what exactly had kept him awake last night.

"The police reacted quickly, and the robbery could get held off. No one got hurt," explains Peter with a low voice.

"But," digs Ned, who had been surprisingly quiet during his retelling, not interrupting him like usual.

"Nothing," replays Peter, whose eyes release the heads of the passengers in front of them to look at his friend questioningly.

"They were there again, right?"

Oh. That was what Ned meant.

The mention alone is enough for his face to contort as if biting into a sour apple. Ned seemed to think the same. "Oh man, sorry. I didn't mean to spoil your mood." He apologizes with a giggle, crumbles of his cookie drizzling onto his shirt. Peter's expression must have been very expressive, as it took his friend a few moments before he could look him in the eyes again without snickering. Ned's laugh is scarily contagious. Even with the unpleasant memories of last night, Peter couldn't help biting down a grin.

"Stop it, Ned, it wasn't that funny," he scolds, but his voice resembles a whine more than an order. Ned merely grins at him.

"To answer your question," he began, simultaneously digging into his backpack to fish out his beat-up smartphone. "They were there. Both of them." While talking, Peter unlocks his phone and opens his gallery. He scrolls down until a password-locked folder appears and types in his twenty-cipher-long, hopefully pretty secure password.

"Oh my gosh, Peter, that's The Black Widow! Holy guacamole, Black Widow, and Hawkeye followed you? That's so sick." Ned stares with large eyes down at the cracked display showcasing the image of a black jumpsuit-clothed red-head who seems to be talking to a blond man wearing a tank top, along with straps and pockets studded cargo pants.

"You had to have seriously outplayed them, man," comments Ned with a level of maybe a little too much admiration as he watches the woman pointing at the rooftops, at which the man throws his arms in the air and turns away to stomp out of the alley. The video ends rather abruptly as the woman's gaze wanders up the house until she catches the camera. Her eyes widen, and the angel changes rapidly as the owner gets caught off guard, showing the gravel on the roof and a pair of sprinting feet before the video shuts off completely.

"I cannot believe my best friend is on the Avengers Wanted List. Spider-Man managed to outpace two of the Avengers. That's so badass."

"You make it sound like Spider-Man is a criminal." Peter shoots his friend a betrayed look. Although, it does feel like he's on their personal Wanted List. They probably own a punching bag with an image of him tapped on it. He shudders at the thought.

Despite scrunching his nose at Ned's words, Peter couldn't help feeling proud. He might have sprinted like the devil on his heels over the rooftops, ejaculatory prayer passing his lips as he pressed himself from the housewalls to leap over the street. But he did outrun them. Not everyone can say that about themselves. The sense of pride evaporates to make way for irritation. The last eight nights have been exhausting. Swinging through the streets to jump into action at the call of help always holds a fair amount of risk. But despite the risk-taking, Peter had fun while doing so. If it's not the high of adrenaline kicking by nearly flying through the streets, it is the loud exclamations of the people who saw him passing by that leave him all giddy inside. He appreciates every greeting, smiles at every thank you, and kindly accepts the gifts the people thrust into his hands, an exhibition of their gratitude. He should have known the Avengers wouldn't sit still after his somewhat dramatic departure two weeks ago. As he first spotted a figure two roofs away with a bow strapped over their back, he knew this would turn out unpleasant.

And how right he was.

What annoys Peter the most is not that the Avengers consider it necessary to trail him. It didn't come as a surprise that they didn't try a second time to invite him for a talk after knowing what they thought of him. Why try talking it out when you could sic two super spies on him

Yeah, Peter is over it. Somewhat.

He could just as well go without meeting with his former childhood heroes, the emphasis laying on the former. What gets on his nerves the most is the consequences that the permanent need to outdistance the two spies brings along. It steals precious time he could spend on the important stuff, like being your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

He manages time and time again to locate the two and vanish before they can get close. But they are quick. They at least catch sight of him three to four times a night. Or manage barely missing him. Sometimes Hawkeye calls after him and orders him to wait, only to kick a wall in frustration when Peter absconds without glancing back. The constant evasion and running away steal precious time he could use to help someone in need. Apart from the fact that the additional exercise gets his appetite going. Peter has to use all his willpower to keep from pillaging the fridge after crawling through the window and diving straight for the kitchen.

"If this goes on, I'll spend all my time running. And eat May out of house and home," complains Peter, a little defeated.

"How about not patrolling alone for a while? Maybe they'll leave you alone if they see you have company?" asks Ned while handing him a granola bar. The heat left it soft and sticky, but Peter wasn't one to turn down free food.

"Oh no. No." Peter instantly quashes the thought. "They are both busy anyway. I don't want them involved in this. It's enough if the Avengers won't stop bothering me."

"But didn't they tell you you could always ask them for help?"

"They have jobs and a life too. I cannot expect them to drop everything to help me with something this trivial. That's not right."

"Having the Avengers stalk you is trivial?"

Peter sighs in frustration. "Trivial is the wrong word, but I don't want to bother them about this, okay? If it gets out of hand, I will ask for help, but for now, I have to suck it up."

Ned doesn't look pleased, but before he can argue further, the bus halts on the exhibition site. Peter quickly makes his way out, almost escaping the vehicle. Not because of Ned's suggestion. Nope, certainly not running from that. No, he's simply afraid he'll melt staying inside any longer. Before he can wipe his sticky hands on his pants, Ned hands him a wet wipe. "It's like your bag is endless. What else are you keeping there?" asks Peter with a laugh, gratefully accepting the tissue and cleaning his fingers.

"Don't ask, man. My mom wouldn't let me out of the house without double-checking if anything was missing. When I told her we aren't out on a survival trip and planning to wrestle with bears but only visit the Expo, she was throwing me the glare."

Peter grins at the thought. He could picture Mrs. Leeds standing in her kitchen, rattling down a list of stuff Ned should pack for their day out.

"John, we are about to get live. Can you please do your job?"

Near them, a dressed-up woman talks animatedly to a man, holding a microphone while the cameraman in front of her struggles in the heat. The man stumbles over a cord wrapping around his ankle and catches himself before falling, wiping the sweat off his face. The woman turns, her brows furrowing as she scowls at him. John gives her a resigned look before pulling the camera back into position. The man's shirt was wet around his chest and back, his balding head an unhealthy shade of red. Another man holds a folder up to shield his eyes from the sunlight shining on his face before counting down.

"Going live in 3. 2. 1."

Slipping the lipstick back into her pocket, the reporter straightens up with a cheerful stage smile.

"With one of the hottest days this August, I welcome you to this year's Stark Industries Future-Of-Energy Mess at a cozy temperature of 93,2 degrees. Let's hope despite the newest and hottest innovation waiting for us, we get to cool down a little as we show you around."

"I feel bad for the cameraman," whispers Ned, and Peter can only nod as they quickly walk past to get out of frame.

The exhibition side stretches over several buildings along a small patch of green where some chairs and tables stand under colorful parasols. A large group of visitors is already waiting in front of the main entrance, excitement filling the air. Behind the door, the entrance is split into four rows to make the handout of the visitor badges go faster, and the two friends find themselves shoved by the masses to the third row. Ned walks in front of him and is about to get handed his badge when a row next to Peter and Ned, voices begin to rise. Several heads turn towards the noise, and Peter, too, sneaks a glance.

"I am sorry, Sir, but I cannot let you through. This entrance is for visitors only, and without a ticket and searching your bag, I cannot let you through."

"You can't let me in? Who do you think you're telling that to? It was your people calling me for an urgent repair and telling me to step on it to come here from east of Manhatten, and now you're telling me I cannot go in and do my job? I could have taken two new customers by now if it weren't for your men not being able to run this event. I make minus just being here! I know people like you. As soon as I turn my back, I get a one-star critic online talking about refusal to work and shit like that, ruining my damn business!"

The man behind the desk grows paler with every word, visibly out of his place as the man keeps spitting insults in his direction, drawing the attention of more visitors.

"Michael, let him in," interferes the blond staff member who presses Ned's badge into his waiting hands. "I know who had called them. I already looked through their bags and checked the IDs."

Michael's face regains color as he throws a grateful glance at his co-worker before turning towards the still red-faced electrician while getting him past the starring visitors. The man pulls the gray-colored cap deeper into his face and hoists the sports bag on his shoulder as he strides towards the elevators. Peter looks after the man with a frown. Something about him had been weird. Before the teen can figure out why his sixth sense kicks in, the man in front of him tears him out of his thoughts.

"This is your visitor badge. When leaving the premises, it gets automatically scanned by the security systems. As long as you carry it on your body, you can go out and enter as often as you like. If you leave the building and re-enter, your bag will get searched again for security reasons."

Peter is about to thank the man behind the desk for the information and the badge but gets interrupted as something gets thrust in his face.

"Peter, have you seen this?"

Peter closes a hand around Ned's wrists and pushes the pamphlet from his face. "A little too close, Ned."

"Oh, sorry. But look at this!"

He takes the colorful paper out of Ned's hands, curious eyes skipping over the information.

"Is that really about to happen? Please tell me this isn't a dream. Here, pinch my arm. Or not. If this is a dream, I will not wake up."

While his friend gushes in never-ending excitement, Peter finally finds the part of the information on the paper that Ned freaks out over. At the bottom of the timetable, standing under various presentations of new items, ideas, and projects throughout SI project leaders, the highlight of today's program is written in bold letters.

"13:30. Presentation of the project series "Education = Future" through Co-Project Leader Dr. Robert Bruce Banner," reads Peter out loud. He glances up from the paper only to get grabbed by his shoulders.

"Peter, we will listen to Dr. Bruce Banner in person! That's incredible!"

"Can you two move already? You aren't the only people going to this event," blusters an angry voice from behind.

With a nervous and apologetic smile, the teens turn around.

"Oh god, it's her."

"What did you just say?" asks the news reporter from the parking lot, her eyebrows furrowing in anger at Ned, who quickly shuts his mouth and steps back a little. Glimpsing past her, Peter could see the rest of the camera team carry equally unnerved expressions. The cameraman who had the misfortune to get chosen as the collective burro for their tech goes as far as to send him a dirty glare. Peter swallows. Dealing with angry reporters and news outlets being Spider-Man is one thing, but pissing them off as high-schooler Peter Parker? No, thank you.

"Heyhey, no need to get upset. These boys are simply excited. It seems to be their first time being here," tries the blond behind the desk to appease the angered woman. Turning towards the two boys, the man gives them a wink. "Have fun at the Expo, guys. You can be excited for the speech, but the real deal, the highlight of the day starts at the end of today's program."

The man grins at them, but something doesn't feel right.

A shudder runs over Peter's back, causing the hairs on his neck to stand up straight.

"There will be something cooler than Dr. Banner?" asks Ned, but the people behind them push them forward. Peter glances back at the man, but the latter is already busy handing out information and badges to the filming crew behind them. The woman from earlier catches Peter's eyes and throws him a menacing glare.

"Okay, we should really go," the teen mutters, and together they quickly scatter away from the entrance. While they walk around, Peter's thoughts trail back to the staff from the register.

"What do you think he could mean?" Ned gives him a searching look. "That's why you've been so quiet, right? You're thinking about the guy who handed us the badges."

Peter nods, picking at a flint on his shirt. "Hasn't he been kinda strange to you?"

"Strange? Apart from trying to tell us that something better than a speech by Bruce Banner can exist?" Ned's eyes widen, and he leans closer. "Or is it your spidey sense tingling?"

Despite the unease creeping up on him, Peter couldn't help snorting at Ned's words. "It's not a tingle, Ned. Stop calling it that. You make it sound weird. It's probably nothing." He rubs at his neck as he tries to rid the ominous feeling.

"If you're sure," says Ned but glances at his friend from the side, unhappy at the frown he spots on Peter's face.

"There is a stand showing prototypes of deep-sea robots which should be able to dive further than 12000 meters, that's like double the amount than the newest robots from Hammer Tech. are currently able to, and they're leading the market right now."

That pulls the teen out of his thoughts. He raises an eyebrow. "12000 meters? That's wild. Imagine what else you could do with tech resistant to that much pressure."

"I know! Come on, we have to check that out. They have a pressure tank and stuff set up."

With every step they take, Peter feels a little less nervous, and after a few minutes, he has successfully pushed the spark of apprehension in the back of his mind. The mess is everything and more than Ned and Peter had hoped for. They walk all over the place, trying to absorb every tiny bit of information. Their eyes are sparkling with childlike joy as they listen to presentations and pull each other towards a new booth that grabs their attention.

"We got nearly everything covered," says Peter as he looks at their map. "Want to take a small break?" Before Ned could answer, the grumbling of Peter's stomach interrupts him.

"You're getting hungry, too?"

Peter rubs the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. "A little bit?"

"I get us something. Can you keep watch over my bag? My mom said I can bid farewell to my laptop for the next two months if I lose another one."

Peter knows he shouldn't laugh as he watches Ned shed off his jacket. Aunt May would destroy him if he misplaced one more bag this year. It would be number eight. That's a new record. "Yeah, that would be nice."

"You want a hotdog?"

"Make it two. I'll give you some money. Wait a second."

"Nah, keep it. My mom said to buy you something to eat too. You know how she gets. You can buy the drinks later."

"You sure?" asks Peter, arm halfway down his backpack, roaming for the ten-dollar bill he had thrown in there.

"Yeah, just wait here. I'll be right back."

"I want the chili ones!"

He grins when Ned turns around to throw him a thumb up. Being alone, Peter uses the chance to fish out his phone. On reflex, his finger taps on the news live broadcast. He turns the volume up. "Looks like I caught the prime time," mutters Peter under his breath as the man on the news takes his eyes from the large image of Spider-Man crouching in his signature pose on the side of a building to look sternly into the camera.

"The people of Queens noticed a lack of sight of their beloved web-slinger. The vigilante calling himself Spider-Man took his time in the last few days, and while some excuse the Spider's lack of involvement in fighting crime with him having a private life, it leaves us wondering, where are you, Spider-Man? "

With a sigh, the boy closes the app and pushes the device back into his backpack before dropping his head in his hands. He doesn't like where this is going. It's not like Peter does it on purpose. He wants to be there more, but what can he do? He starts looking back at the days when his biggest worry was he could give decent directions and make it through his Spanish oral exam.

"If that's not Puny Parker. How did you get in there? Took part in some charity event?"

"You've got to be kidding me," mutters Peter as he raises his head and almost wishes the light above them would magically loosen and hit him in the head.

"Good day to you, Eugene."

Designer shoes, designer jeans, a designer jacket, and would you look at that, a pair of glasses hanging down from Flash's collar that looks suspiciously like one that a model on the Gucci store poster would be presenting.

"Nice outfit."

Flash ignores him in favor of looking around, almost searchingly.

"Where's your loser friend?"

Peter rolls his eyes at that. And Aunt May tries telling him something like Parker Luck doesn't exist.

"Ned will be right back. I will tell him that you asked for him. I'm sure he will be pleased to know you miss him."

"I wouldn't miss any of you idiots even if you vanish from one moment to the next. Couldn't be happier to know you're gone."

"Really? I could swear that you like us a teeny tiny bit. Why else are you coming over to say hi and immediately asking for Ned?"

"You're delusional or dreaming, Parker. I'm only here to take part in the competition to earn first place and get the prize. What could I do about it when you happened to sit right next to the booth?"

"Competition?"

"You should get your dusty nerd glasses back if you cannot see that large of a sign, idiot," taunts Flash while pointing at a shield standing a meter next to where Peter has been resting. Flash steps out of his way with a scowl as Peter stands up and rounds the display.

"Oh," Peter raises an eyebrow. Look at that. Flash did tell the truth. Peter hadn't paid attention to where they sat down. He eyes the display for the competition with little interest as the information tells him that the prize is a surprise. Flash seems to misinterpret Peter's disinterest as uncertainty, a complacent smirk taking over his features.

"You sure do better than trying to take part. You'll get crushed by me."

Peter hums to humor his classmate while squinting at the information at the bottom of the sign, saying only people between 16 and 24 years old are allowed to participate. It's a weirdly specific range of people.

"Does anyone know what the prize includes?"

"You do know what surprise means, do you?" asks Flash, looking at him as if he just asked what color the sky was. Peter takes a deep breath before turning towards the other teen. He couldn't wait for Ned to be back.

"There aren't any speculations?" he changes his question. If anyone is up-to-date about Stark Industries, it would be Flash. The guy had a strange obsession with the company.

"Most people I talked to are sure it will be a class trip to SI or taking part in a workshop that can up your credits for school or college as the ages for the participants is limited to students."

Peter nods in thought. That would make sense. God, a class trip to SI. All the more reason to take a wide berth around this competition. He doesn't even want to imagine what could happen if he steps foot into any of Tony Stark's buildings after what happened last time. He suppresses a shudder.

Peter perks up at the smell of spicy sauce and pickles.

"Hey Pete, here's your hotdog with extra chili."

A smile makes way on his face, feeling incredibly grateful as Ned hands him the snack and sits down next to him. They begin eating, earning a scowl from Flash, who stands a little lost in front of the two friends who decided to put all their attention on the food in their hands.

"Just so you know, Parker, I will win this competition and get our class that trip to SI. That will show the others that getting straight A's proves you're a teacher's pet but not smart."

"Alright. Have fun, Flash."

Peter reaches for the second hot dog, not breaking eye contact with Flash, who visibly grows angry at his lack of response.

"You probably wouldn't be able to answer any of their questions, and they will call you out for taking too long in there."

"You could be right about that." Peter takes a napkin and wipes his fingers before standing to throw it in the bin. He gets held up on his way by a hand grabbing his biceps. Flash glares at him.

"Don't cry if you lose, Parker."

"Oh, I won't," promises Peter as he smoothly winds out of the hold. Flash stomps away with an angry huff.

"What was that about?"

Ned glances over to him, having watched the whole exchange with a question mark dancing above his head.

"Pretty sure Flash wants me to participate in this competition to prove he's smarter than me."

"And will you accept his challenge?"

"I don't know. I'm not a fan of surprises."

"It would be cool, though. With you winning and showing Flash who's boss."

"Who's boss?" repeats Peter with a laugh. "I'm anything but that."

"Nah, you just don't know it yet. If Spider-Man is the most badass hero out there, then Peter Parker can be a boss."

Peter throws Ned an amused look. "If you say so. Maybe I should give it a try."

Stepping out of the booth after ten minutes, Peter asked himself if this had been a good idea. Some of the questions had thrown him off. Physics and math came to him without any problems, but the questions of where he sees himself in ten years and what his working values are caught him by surprise. He couldn't figure out what they needed these for in a competition, but what else could he do than answer and trust his gut feeling? He collects his phone, which he had to hand over to the staff member before, ensuring he doesn't cheat, and walks over to Ned, who had been waiting outside.

"How did it go?"

They walk towards the middle of the hall, where some staff members are already placing chairs in front of the stage.

"I'm not sure. How would you rate your problem-solving skills on a scale from one to ten?"

Ned throws him a confused look. "Did they ask that?"

Peter shrugs his shoulders. "Something along those lines," he answers, wondering what that had been about.

Ned hums in thought but doesn't seem able to make more sense of it than Peter could. Casting that aside, they decided to buy something to drink and wait the last fifteen minutes before the stage events were about to start. Sitting at one of the many benches lining up in front of the windows, Peter let his eyes wander off the people working in front of the stage. From head to toe, their uniform is the same. Even the shoes were all of the same brand and design. Watching two staff members stop pulling chairs to talk to each other, Peter observes them from a distance. The approach of a third person causes Peter to huff in surprise as he finally realizes what has been bothering him for so long.

"You're good?"

Peter watches the woman straightening the man's name tag before tearing his eyes away to look at his friend.

"It's the name tag. The man at the register didn't have one."

"Maybe he lost it?"

Peter shakes his head.

"All the staff members wear the same outfits, even the same shoes. I cannot imagine they would let someone who has to interact with so many visitors walk around without a name tag. I mean, this is an event held by Stark Industries. I doubt they would let something like this slip. Something feels really of, Ned."

Before Ned could respond, the speakers go off, announcing the beginning of the stage program to start soon. The two friends stand up and take place in one of the front rows. Peter feels Ned shift beside him, his friend opening his mouth but getting interrupted as a man in suit pants and a blue dress shirt walks up on stage, welcoming the visitors. Peter tries paying attention to what is happening on stage, but the sound of straining metal and a low buzzing noise make it hard to concentrate. The teen glances up at the giant globe forming the ceiling, watching with large eyes how the giant glass construction begins to part in the middle. He remembers having read something about a drone show on the pamphlet. The orator keeps going about the plans Stark Industries holds for the year, but Peter can't understand a word as suddenly, an earsplitting noise rings from the speakers. It's piercing sharply through his ears and right into his head, causing the boy to slump in his seat, body falling forward as he presses his hands over his ears, trying desperately to get it to stop.

Ned jumps in his seat as his friend falls forward, panic kicking at the pained groan leaving Peter's mouth.

"Peter? Peter! What's wrong?"

Peter vaguely registers Ned's hands are squeezing his shoulder, trying to pry him out of his curled-up position and get a look at his face. The noise stops as soon as it has started, but he needs a few seconds for the ringing inside his head to stop before he dares pull his hands away from where he had pressed them against his ears.

"He's going to be alright. It's his migraine," he hears Ned say to someone before the presence of another person is gone again.

"Peter? Please tell me what's wrong, man."

He slowly sits up, blinking. He looks down at his shaking hands, expecting blood, sighing in relief when he sees none.

"You didn't hear that?" he asks, still gasping a little. That had been quite a shock.

"Hear what?" asks Ned, panic and worry coloring his face.

"There had been this sound. I thought my head was about to split in two," mumbles the teen and rubs his temples. Ned hands him a bottle of water, a frown directed at his friend. Peter was about to reach for the water as his body froze in his seat. His head whips upwards.

"Pete? You're kinda scaring me."

He holds a hand up, signalizing Ned to keep quiet as he closes his eyes.

"Somethings wrong."

"Is it your head? Maybe we should go. Or we can call May."

Peter shakes his head. "There's someone on the roof."

"The roof?" Ned follows Peter's eyes upwards.

Peter nods, brows furrowed as he stares at the glass construction above them.

"No one should be there."

Ned follows Peter's gaze, glancing up at the large glass dome. The ceiling is standing open, gaining a view of a cloudless sky. He looks back at his friend, watching how Peter grimaces in concentration.

Resounding voices. Loud laughter. The smell of molten plastic.

"How do you know no one's supposed to be there? Maybe it's someone who has to check the tech?"

Peter doesn't answer. His head tilts as he listens closely to the sounds from above, giving in to what his spidey sense tries to tell him.

Squeaking footsteps. The whir of electricity. Heavy boots on metal. A zipper opening. The sound of a gun loading.

His eyes widen.

"We've got a problem, Ned."

Peter pulls a surprised Ned out of his seat, mumbling apologies as he hurries past people who throw the two teens confused or annoyed looks as they squeeze their way through the row of seats.

"Peter? What's going on?"

The teen in question pulls his friend into an empty hallway. Almost all visitors are at the main hall, and no one notices the two boys running down the corridor towards the toilets.

"No one can come in."

Ned can only nod as he positions himself before the door to keep anyone from entering. Tearing his backpack open, Peter digs around, quickly pulling out his suit. He changes with practiced movement and is about to pull his mask over his head when Ned grabs his wrist.

"Please tell me what's going on, man."

"Someone on the roof has a gun, but I cannot tell you more. You need to go outside and call the police, and don't come back in, okay?"

Ned looks troubled as Peter lays his hands on his shoulders. He gives his friend a hopefully reassuring look.

"Spider-Man will handle this, Ned. Please go out as quickly as possible and call the police. I don't know what's happening, but I can't ignore this."

"Be careful, Peter."

"I'll be back as quick as I can."

Ned sighs as he looks after his friend, who slips out of the tiny bathroom window.

Peter scales up the building as fast as he can. He straightens up and all but sprints up the face of the building as if he were running on the ground, defying the rules of gravity. Nearing the edge of the roof, he jolts his hand out. A string of webs shoot from his web-shooter, hitting a flagpole hanging over. Peter swings and lands in a crouch on the very top of the roof, eyes scanning the place. A thunder of applause reaches his ears, and he vaguely hears the host announcing Dr. Banner to come up on stage. His eyes fall onto a neatly set up row of drones, waiting for their entry. He jumps as the drones come to life and begin to fly down into the building, getting into formation while Dr. Banner continues his speech. Peter squints, noticing the lack of a logo on the flying objects. He shoots a web at one of the drones flying past and skilledly pulls it towards him. Eyeing the tech in his hands, he tears open the back and pulls out a string of wires alongside the part he broke off, examining the inner life of the machine.

"These aren't Stark Tech."

He throws the broken drone to the side as Dr. Banner's voice echoes through the speaker, beginning to explain the new project he and Tony Stark had been working on to the audience, but Peter can't pay him any mind as he spots a crouching pair of figures at the other end of the roof. Peter's heart skips a beat as he catches sight of a weapon directed at the people under them, eyes following the target line, and his body tenses as he realizes who the person is aiming at.

A scream from below makes him jump towards the edge, glancing down at the stage. Peter's eyes widen under the mask, breath hitching.

"This isn't just bad, this is catastrophically bad."

His eyes are pulled towards the sight of one of the most intelligent people on earth and one of his biggest idols, standing frozen on top of the stage, a red glowing light pointed at his forehead. A single drone strays out of the formation, flying towards the stage. Nobody dares to move as another drone joins, shooting a pair of hooks at the metal suitcase, most likely holding part of the project Dr. Banner was about to introduce.

"There are easier and less threatening ways to access Stark Tech. I'm also pretty sure there's a patent on whatever you're trying to steal there."

The man controlling the drone glances up, face covered behind a black mask. "Hello, Spider-Man. You are just on time. This show is about to reach its peak."

The eyes of Spider-Man's mask narrow, and he runs, nearly close enough to shoot a web and tear the gun out of the man's hands, but before he can use his web-shooter, it's already too late. The sound of a shoot echoes through the air, and the noise following causes Peter's blood to freeze. He watches the people in the building tripping over each other in a panic to escape the building as a growl as loud as thunder rumbles over them.

"You better hurry, Spider-Man. Or someone is going to get hurt."

Peter's fist clenched at the mocking words thrown his way. He either goes down and tries calming the Hulk and lets the men escape together with Mr. Stark's Tech, or he goes after them and risks people getting hurt while left with an out-of-control Dr. Banner. The cracking of stone and breaking of metal makes him tear his eyes from the men. The Hulk is ripping out a piece of the stage with ease as if it were polystyrene and is ready to throw it at the screaming crowd.

Peter didn't have to think twice.

The Hulk either doesn't notice or doesn't care about the sudden appearance of the vigilante as he throws the piece in his hands, causing several people to shout in horror. Before the part of the stage construct can hit its target, a wall of webs catches it in mid-air. With quick movements, the spandex-clad teen secures it and lands a few meters before the green rage monster.

"Get out, everyone! And call the Avengers," he shouts at the people before jumping out of the way as a chair gets flung at him. Peter looks over his shoulder, where the seat sticks in the wall, before turning back to an angrily panting Hulk. The mutate throws his head back, gigantic muscles bulging under the green skin. The roar of pure rage that follows causes shards of glass to rain down on them.

Peter swallows heavily.

"So, is this a code red turning green or a code green turning red?"

[moongothic]

Yeah hello hi I've been falling deep into the Crocodad Rabbithole and my brain is being consumed by small crocodile-shaped worms

So I've done what any reasonable person would do, I went back to rewatch some scenes from Alabasta and Marinford to psychoanalyze Crocodile and try to figure out what the fuck his deal is because genuinely the more I think about it the more questions I have and the more I want answers. And because I'm deranged I need to write all my thoughts down into an incoherent essay and release it into the world

So please, come along with me while and let's be Extremely Normal About Sir Crocodile Together and speculate about his ~Secret Past~

Quick note, my quickest access to some of these episodes is either through unsubbed episodes (not bothering with getting screenshots since there's no subs, also my Japanese is plenty good enough to not need it here) or through Ancient, Questionable Fansubs so don't get too hung up on the phrasing in the subbed screenshots- like they're not entirely inaccurate but y'know

The reason I want to do this is just that... Like I've been a fan of OP since 2008, when I was in middle school. I don't think I ever really tried to think deeper about this series in general at that time, because I was a kid. For a long time to me Crocodile had just been Some Greedy Asshole who tried to take over a country to obtain a tool of mass destruction and IDK destroy the world? Just a very classic Bad Guy McVillianMan, because I had not bothered to think about his character and question anything before.

But now I have brainworms due to the Crocodad Theory, and this is fucking One Piece, you never fucking know how deep a rabbithole can go with this bloody series. So let's go, let's try to figure out what the fuck is Crocodile's deal, because I need to get these brainworms out of my fucking system

I just want to start with this one quick throw-away line because it's kind of a sidenote. Also like. This is such a funny fucking thing for Crocodile to say if he is Luffy's dad. Like.

That's so fucking funny if he's Luffy's dad holy shit

But what really gets me here is that like... Like while I'm like 70% sure Crocodile is trans, there's still a part of me that's like "there's no fucking way Crocodad is real". Let alone, this be some kind of a hint Oda planted to suggest that this early on. Like it sounds absurd. And yet at this point in One Piece, Oda had already started planning out and laying out the groundwork for so many lore and plot-relevant concepts, ranging from shit like everything about Robin, the Poneglyphs, the Ancient Weapons etc. He had already started the "Prince Sanji ARG" (aka dropping the tiniest fucking hints to Sanji's Hidden Backstory that people were able to pick up on and make accurate predictions with about Sanji's backstory). There's fucking Laboon, and about a bajillion other things. And possibly most importantly, by this point Oda had already revealed both Luffy's father and grandfather to the readers, not to mention he even introduced Ace and vaguely hinted at Sabo! It's not like Oda had everything perfectly planned out from the very begining, that is objectively not the case at all. But it also literally would not be unlike Oda to drop hints to a character's backstory like this. He has been doing that for years, and had already started by the time we met Crocodile. Like it feels insane and yet it's perfectly plausible. And if he had Luffy's dad, grandfather and two siblings planned out in his head already at this point, it should not be that much of a stretch to believe that Oda knows and no doubt has known for the past two decades who Luffy's mom is (regardless of if that's Crocodile or not)

All this to say. Crocodile's comment about what Cobra said to Vivi when they reunited is a funny, sarcastic comment. But it would take a whole new meaning if Crocodad was real. Because it really would be perfectly normal if he did/had wondered what he would say to his long lost child if they were ever reunited. And really that just makes his roast turn sad.

Anyways

In Alabasta, we do get a very clear image that Crocodile does not like the World Government, not just because he's a Big Meanie Pirate who wants to conquer the world, but because he does seem to look down on how the Marines + World Government do their "justice" (which, y'know, knowing what we know now about the Government. Fair. That's entirely fair.)

He also dislikes Vivi's "idealism" of wanting to save everyone without bloodshed or anyone losing their lives (especially for her sake)

We learn that he is a broken man with broken dreams. Also he seems to be aware where he (supposedy) belongs in the Grand Line's power hierarchy, as in, he needs Pluton because he knows he's not strong enough in combat that he could take down anyone, let alone the World Government by himself (though he would still make a beeline for Whitebeard's head the second he saw him at Marinford, which, y'know, bold move)

And of course, we learn in Impel Down that Crocodile and Iva-chan have some beef. We can not say for 100% sure what that beef is (like the theory he's trans is very obvious and plausible, but until Oda spills the beans we won't know for a fact what the beef is), but we know that they knew each other. And if Crocodile knew Iva-chan, a high-ranking founding member of the Revolutionary Army, then it is genuinely plausible that Crocodile could also have known Dragon and/or been a member of the Revolutionary Army as well.

Since overthrowing the World Nobles and the Government are the Revolutionary Army's goal, the fact that they're trying to obtain weapons and people for their cause etc, Crocodile's view of the Government and his "Operation Utopia" does kind of align with the Revolutionary Army's

But we did also learn from Iva that "Crocoboy" isn't quite trustworthy. Needless to say, even if Croc used to be a part of the Army, he most certainly left YEARS ago, and clearly not on good terms.

Also, an interesting note, is that at Marineford when Luffy and co finally arrive at the battlefield (episode 466, 17:25 minutes in), when Garp spots the group, he makes a specific comment about Crocodile being there together with the revolutionaries and the prison escapees, believing they can't all be here to fight for the same cause. Which is an interesting thing for him to point out specifically. Like Jinbei was another powerful person who entered that battlefield at the same time, and while Jinbei did clarify to Sengoku that he's quitting being a Shichibukai and was there to save Ace, it's still maybe a little odd Garp didn't think it was worth mentioning that Jinbei had also "allied" with the prison escapees and the revolutionaries to enter the battlefield. Like it was Crocodile only whom he thought needed to be pointed out. I don't think Garp's comment adds at all to Crocodad because it would frankly make little to no sense (like we're all assuming Crocodile didn't know Dragon's lastname, which is why he never realized Luffy was his son (despite knowing Luffy's lastname), but if Crocodile knew Garp was Dragon's father then surely he'd realize Dragon's lastname would be Monkey, right), but it could maybe add to the idea that Crocodile might've been a part of the Revolutionary Army in the past, as Garp could be aware of something like that, thus he'd be puzzled by Crocodile's presencee. Point is, it's an interesting comment, make of it what you will

EDIT 2: Ended up going back to reread parts of Marineford and turns out ^that^ was an anime-only addition from Toei. Like Garp does make a comment about how these people probs aren't at the battlefield for the same reasons but did not specifically point out Crocodile or anything. So. I wasted enough time adding these paragraphs to the post, I ain't deleting 'em. But y'know.

EDIT: Minor addition, because I just remembered how Crocodile really went like out of his way to taunt Vivi about how she "can't stop the rebellion" and save her people. Which, y'know, is a perfectly normal Villian Thing To Do. But we know Crocodile does not think fondly of the World Nobles just like he dislikes the Government. Even if Cobra was a "good monarch" who genuinely cared for his people, he was still a king, and the Nefertari family and the Kingdom of Alabasta were a part of the World Government. The thing Crocodile specifically wanted to destroy. And this is just another one of those "surely that wasn't somekinda foreshadowing" but god fucking dammit what if Crocodile telling a(n unknowing) representative of the World Government that she can't stop "the rebellion", or the revolution if I may, (regardless of if he's allied with them or not) was actually meant to be like foreshadowing. Oda I swear to fucking god---

Anyway, so, Crocodile might've been a part of the Revolutionary Army at one point (the army was formed after the Ohara Incident 22 years ago, and for Crocodad Theorizing, Luffy was born 19 years ago), but if he did he must have left on bad terms for unknown reasons, and we can tell that although his goals in general could vaguely match that of the Revolutionaries, his methods most certainly don't.

Whether or not his methods and his worldview tie to his leaving the Army is unknown. Because we don't really know when and how his worldview was formed.

Like did Crocodile leave the Army because he became a cynical asshole who was willing to make any kind of sacrifice for his goals (thus he no longer fit in with the rest of the Revolutionary Army), realized he was far too weak to ever become Pirate King and thus decided to go looking for Pluton? Or did Crocodile suggest to the Army they should try to obtain an Ancient Weapon to keep casulties to a minimum (still in line with the Army), only ending up getting kicked out (big weapon bad), and soon realizing he had no chance at making a change in the world without "cracking a few eggs"?

Like it doesn't nececarily make a massive difference,, since the end result is still the same, but it does kind of affect the context and how one might view him, right

Of course, there's then the Forbidden Third Option, that Crocodile left due to

Gender issues (internalized shame of being trans and not having it in him to stay around people who had known him)

Postpartum depression

Dragon just divorced Crocodile either due to being straight (in a sad, accepting way) or due to being simply unaccepting and frankly homophobic, regardless, Crocodile leaves with a broken heart

Something else and/or a combo of the above, really, we could speculate endlessly here about what could've happened

(Though I will say that Crocodile's '"trust issues"' and how he views people as disposable could like. I dunno. Be explained if he had gone through some heartbreak and was left permanently unable to open up to people, let alone trust anyone)

I dunno, there's a lot of options, a lot of things to considder.

But there is one more thing that I do want to note on as it could potentially debunk the Crocodad Theory entirely.

It's that Iva-chan didn't know Dragon had a son.

(Episode 441, 9:50 minutes) By which I mean, Iva-chan wasn't shocked to find out Luffy was Dragon's son, rather, they were shocked there was a son to begin with. (To the point they thought Ace was also Dragon's son until Luffy cleared it up for them later) While it's not a massive leap to believe that Crocodile and Dragon knew each other (since Crocodile knew Iva-chan), nor is it a massive leap to believe that Iva-chan transed Crocodile's gender after having Luffy... It does become a bit of a leap to believe Iva-chan didn't know about Dragon having a child with Crocodile before giving Croc the Magic HRT. Like if they had a relationship that resulted in a baby and a divorce, how did Iva not know about any of it, especially when it's more than likely that Iva could not have transitioned Crocodile until after the baby was born (let's not think about how Iva-chan's powers would work on a pregnant person too much)

We do also get this flashback (in episode 441, immidiately after Luffy reveals his dad's identity to Iva) where Iva-chan questions Dragon about how he always stares out towards East Blue when the wind blows, wondering if Dragon has family out there whom he's thinking about (Dragon refusing to comment on it). This does very much confirm that regardless of who Dragon had Luffy with, Iva has no fucking clue who, where and how any of that happened. And althought I personally feel like Iva not knowing would debunk Crocodad, if Crocodile still somehow was Luffy's dad, Iva-chan would canonically not know about it. If Iva didn't know Dragon had a relationship that resulted in a baby, then regardless of if Iva even knew Crocodile got pregnant once, they would not be able to connect those dots.

Now let's be clear, there's many potential scenarios where Crocodad could still be real, scenarios that could explain why and how Iva-chan didn't know about Luffy nor about Dragon and Crocodile having a relationship*. Like it would not be difficult at all to come up with an explanation for it. But in my mind, I feel like the more you have to figure out and explain how the theory could still be plausible, the less plausible it actually feels. Like the more I need to go out of my way to explain it, the more forced it seems.

*(For example, maybe the two kept their relationship a secret, and when Crocodile got pregnant he """left on a mission""" that happened to take like 4-10 months, during the time realizing he was trans. Once the baby had arrived he returned the baby to Dragon in secret for him to deal with, got a divorce for one reason or another*, and sought out Iva-chan to start a new life, Iva thus never found out about anything, just knew that Crocodile left one day after coming out. Like that's one plausible scenario.)

*Hey remember the potential Forbidden Reasons to why Crocodile might've left the Army? What if it was Dragon's and/or Crocodile's idea? Remember how when Jinbei is trying to escape Marinford with the unconcious Luffy, Crocodile tells Jinbei to do better job at "protecting those he wants to protect", a line that felt really sudden and odd coming from Crocodile of all people? What if the two knew their child would be in grave danger if he was ever raised within the army (absolutely not a place for a baby)? What if they knew their baby would become a target for the World Government to hunt, much like Roger's lost child was, if the Government found out Dragon had a baby? What if they wanted to make sure nothing bad ever happened to their baby and were willing to do anything to protect the baby? Even if it meant they'd never see their child grow up? Even if it meant hiding your child from your best friend, pretending to have a horrible fallout with them and transing your gender because Oda doesn't know what gender dysphoria is? Just so nobody would ever find out you had a child?

Mind you. I do not want anybody to think this is an actual argument for Crocodad. Like I could write a dozen different fanfics about how Crocodile could be Luffy's other dad, and they would all be just as much pure speculation with nothing to support them as the above suggestions. It is an example of what could have happened, and a deeply interesting thought, but it is just a theory at best.

In the end, it doesn't really matter though, because until the day Oda reveals Luffy's mom and/or Crocodile's backstory to us, we will truly never know for sure What The Fuck Crocodile's Deal Is

And I'll be just stuck with these brainworms, making myself sad by thinking about sad scenarios where Crocodad could be real, because truly, if it's canon, ain't no way it won't be sad

EDIT 3: Originally I thought it'd be good enough if I just rewatched some parts here and there, but in the end I just fucking absolutely caved the fuck in and went and reread The Good Parts of Marineford. Mainly because I knew I was forgetting things and Toei adding/changing things can affect a character reading. Also it was just going to be easier to go through the manga and literally just all of Crocodile's scenes into an image folder for easier browsing, mainly because there's so much shit that happens between those scattered scenes it can be hard to like focus on one thing (especially if you're trying to specifically FIND those scattered scenes and appearances)

So yeah. Coming back a few days later to add shit to this god forsaken post. I need help

Actually changed my mind and made a separate post to continue this nonsense, enjoy

[silkmothh]

Servitude journal: Forced orgasm

Our house has been the activity hub again, we've had people coming and going for the last 3 weeks and I've been a good, good girl this whole time 🫡 I haven't had a chance to touch myself or Sir this whole time bc he is so much busier than me and even though I feel bad Sir says I am doing such a good job keeping up and he's sorry he can't use me when I offer myself bc of all the busy-ness

Every day I get more horny, every rejected offering makes me wetter.. I'm looking at tblr porn every second I get. Work breaks, at red lights, in the middle of chores or cooking, on my walks, in the bath, in bed after Sir falls asleep, and the aching keeps me awake.. every rejected offering was just pushing me further and further into degeneracy. I've never been denied like THIS, for so long. Normally, my rejected offerings are met with an alternative. But this past month has just been "no, not now. No, maybe when I'm done. No, maybe when they leave, " I'm not breaking any rules looking at porn, as long as I'm not touching myself. And gosh, have I been looking 😅

But I couldn't take it last night. It was the last night before the house is back to regulars only. I haven't made a single offering in so long, I felt like I was going crazy. I was trying not to hump my hand or my blanket, I really wanted to go to sleep, my cunt was HURTING something fierce, and I was just,,, scrolling away on tblr. Until Sir stirred, and I damn near jumped his bones.

We couldn't fuck, and Sir was so tired. I begged just a little to be played with, I didn't care what he did I just begged him to touch my clit or put something in me or let me do it bc I was on fire. We wrestled around for a minute, I had to earn my chance at an offering.

I ended up tucked up close to Sir, I only got 1 hand and 1 chance to cum. I was to hold my legs open and shut the fuck up until Sir was finished with me.

I think I forgot how good Sir is with my cunt. He knows just the right places to rub, knows the perfect timing to keep me on edge ughh I'm already throbbing remembering.

The first time I get my command I tried really, really hard to cum but Sir started pinching my clit and labia so I didn't get my relief. He held onto my hair to keep me still.

When I got my second command I begged not to. I told Sir I wanted more play time. I wanted his fingers in me, I wanted to be used, I wanted him to break my brain and never let me cum again. I begged "noiwantmoreiwantmoreiwantmore no please take it back i don't want to cum pleasepleasepleadrpleass" and he just kept on. He pulled my hair to bring my head back down onto him. He told me to fix my posture, I had let my legs go and if I squirmed away instead of listening he'd make sure I'd regret it, if he didn't get this, if I didn't go through with my offering after begging him so desperately before-

And it hit me all at once. Waves of euphoria over and over. My eyes started watering. I got so still and squeezed my thighs so hard to keep my legs open "nononononono wait wait" but it was too late. I didn't want to cum but once it started I wanted more, I wanted to cum again. Sir laughed at me and told me how stupid I was. He reminded me that I needed him to decide bc I just can't make up my mind. He teased me about crying to be denied and then crying to be overstimulated.

I couldn't feel anything else but his hand on my cunt, the pressure just right on my clit, the occasional pinch. I could feel myself starting to slip.

But Sir got what he wanted, so we were done. Sir brought me back to reality, I couldn't drop into sub space just yet, but he promised he'd put me back once the house settled.

According to Sir, all I could say before I fell asleep was thank you, and how good it felt, and how I wanted every orgasm forced out of me like that..

I hope that's not true bc Sir seemed pretty into that last one and idk how many forced orgasms I could do 😵‍💫

[karinyosa]

Gene and Brinker, good sir?

AHHH okay okay

what made you ship it?

reading the book lol. ok so i feel like there's a lot of context i need to explain for this beyond just the book's subtext bc there's a bit of personal lore here. before teaching us the book, my middle school english teacher introduced each of the central four characters with this powerpoint with a slide on each one, and the way she described them like archetypically and physically made it sound almost like (to MY middle school brain) a dating sim, in which gene was the main character. like the blurb already sounds very romance novelesque so jdkshfkh. ig it wasn't too big a leap. so we already have a baseline there.

i also think that in the book brinker and gene are a secondary and competing rivarly/friendship to gene and finny's rivarly/friendship, and i think that's where the tension between brinker and gene and brinker and finny comes from. in fact this is kind of just text, like brinker and finny i think are pretty explicitly competing for gene's attention. i'm pretty sure there are some like old asp posts from the earlier 2010s era of the fandom where people are like "brinker and gene/finny have such ex energy", but iirc it was more often finny? like i'm definitely not the only person to see this Thing brinker has going on with gene, but at the time i'm p sure brinkerfinny was the more widespread take. anyway. brinker pursues gene so relentlessly both as an antagonist and as a guy who just Needs to be doing things with him, Needs to be occupying his time and attention. and yet they maintain this weird friendship/understanding throughout. to me this was most pronounced with the whole enlistment thing, and that dynamic where gene had to choose between finny and brinker for the enlistment/not enlistment??? it just gave very love triangle energy. the intensity with which brinker is fixated on gene is like. it gives repressed queer guy with problems. it's beyond wanting to antagonize him, he just is constantly coming up with excuses to be around him and to orient his focus around the pursuit of this one guy. his need to be morally superior to the object of his pursuit feels very queercoded to me. it's a very funny contrast to other parts of the book where he and gene are seemingly chill and normal friends? boy has issues

2. what are your favorite things about the ship?

HOOOOOO okay i have a long answer for this because it has to do with how i accidentally made myself insane about them. so i have this really long winded headcanon-turned-sequel fic in my Brain and Mind about gene and brinker moving in together after the war for kind of money reasons and kind of personal reasons. gene has been depression camping in finny's family's attic for a long undefined amount of time, and brinker is like hey you need to get the fuck out of there come live with me idiot. cue several years later and this is where the fic starts. i usually have it start at the time that gene would've gone back to visit devon, because i like the idea of that whole thing happening during a hs reunion in devon town, in which he and brinker joint travel and stay with his family which is its own whole awkwardness but anyway. <- culmination of everything i've ever thought about them since eighth grade

most of my genebrinker thoughts center around this period of adulthood where they're not young anymore but they're not old either, and they have all this unresolved tension and shared trauma and resentment that spills over into their "present" relationship. i think this is where genebrinker would theoretically "actually" start, in adulthood. i think there could've been ambiguous things earlier, especially during their joint enlistment period if they happened to be together, but nothing very deliberate or openly acknowledged until much later. it's this delicious mix of both having an established very domestic and familiar dynamic, knowing this person's routines and habits inside out, and yet having this pent up unspoken something. and for gene and brinker, it's not just this quiet tenderness, although i think that's bound to happen sometimes when you're essentially apartment husbands. i think they'd blow up at each other and let things slip during heated moments that they don't mean to, mostly on brinker's side, bc i think brinker's been nursing some kind of crush since hs, whereas if gene returned brinker's feelings, i think they'd slowly build over time. their familiarity with each other is also very interesting because, while they have this odd like, daddy issues(?) solidarity in the book that again feels very queer, in adulthood, it's also this thing of like, they kind of shared the murder of one of their closest friends. my fav think about genebrinker is that they know the worst of each other, that they actively participated in some of the worst parts of each other's lives, but it's that coupled with like, arguing over dinner and visiting the parents and trying to hold down stable jobs. or i guess for something more connected to the actual book, that coupled with like, accompanying your friend to an awkward meeting with his dad

this is not even all the things i think about their dynamic or all the like underlying sources of tension in their adult relationship in my head, i also think they'd be in very different places in terms of sexuality, and that would come to a head at some point, but i'll stop here because this is a question about my favorite THING, not explain every thought you've ever had about them

3. is there an unpopular opinion you have about your ship?

i think the entire ship is an unpopular opinion lmfao. like 90% of this is my headcanons. ummm i have brinker being the more responsible of the two when i write them as adults, if still the more temperamental one, so that might be controversial? i think at this stage of their lives, he's more practical and better at home ec stuff, and gene cannot fucking take care of himself for the life of him. gene is running himself into the ground while brinker is like get your fucking socks off my floor

[tricornonthecob]

Oh shit here we go

LK 101 - Boston Spilling the Tea Party (part one)

pt pt2 pt3

Lets be honest, the real reason this series exists: Walter Cronkite as Benji Franx.

why is there only one dude on what appears to be a fucking *frigate* I mean I know why, animation budget, but my point stans

Also fuckin seizure warning on the Atlantic, brah.

Cluny the Scourge just hanging out on what I'm assuming is Sarah's bed? Or is that just her pet. Did she have a beloved pet rat?? Was she a rat girl??? This has caused more questions.

Is this her room?? Why is there a bed belowdecks like this? why is her room so massive?? Am I looking too hard into a DIC cartoon?

I love how this girl just canonically vibes with chaos. Alone, 15 years old, going to the colonies, in a fucking storm that even the grizzled sailors are freaked out by, and she's writing to her mom how exciting everything is. She's either dissociating like a champ or she's a legend. Also how are you not seasick??? Oh right you're an accomplished rider and horse girl you got that inner ear

Not gonna lie though, listening to this girl talk about her dad coming home from the wilderness and how they're all gonna have an awesome life is kind of sad. Oh, honeyyyyy. No. Can you imagine being her mom and getting all these letters? Oh god now I've made up more headcanons.

she really has the worst luck with ships, doesn't she.

SuCh SyMbOlIsM

This dork. Also why is his collar so fucking open jfc.

In this house we stan Exasperated Dad!Moses

"When someone wants to know what's on my shirt I can sell 'em a newspaper!" is the kind of idea I'd expect from an ADHD/PTSD madlad. I feel like both Sarah and James vibe and thrive off chaos, but only one of them has a balanced inner ear.

Gotta love Eager Beaver getting knocked down a peg by Exasperated Dad.

The *flair.* The *drama.* The *exasperated and slightly amused adult*

aaaaaaaaaaay the French Fry! The Brains! The feral younger sibling! The one I vibed with the hardest as a feral younger sibling!

Henri: Bitch I'd do it again!!!!

Dear writers: why the fuck did you set up an enemies-to friends-to lovers pipeline so hard like this.

oh my gOdD Moses is such a dilf

Ok is it just me or did they design her as a redhead in the beginning and slowly lighten her to strawberry blonde later on, or am I just losing my mind.

do you think they boinked. Dirty Old Man Franklin absolutely tried to make a move on Lady Phillips.

We all worry about your feral daughter, Lady Phillips.

AND WE'RE ON NICKNAME TERMS? Yeah they boinked.

Sir. SIR. Two of those associates are children.

THEY FUCKING. BOINKED. NEW SHIP FRANKLIN/LADY PHILLIPS WE CALL IT FRILLIPS OH MY GOD NO WAIT THEY'RE A POLYCULE.

They'd absolutely get hammered and watch a Pats game, I'm a little disappointed the directors didn't tell the voice actors to lean into the New England accent. Also why does the guy on the left look like Peter Griffin.

It can't be Boston, there aren't nearly enough maniacal drivers with homicidal intent

*there* it is.

Damn this dude got REAL into it.

He just. Hops over tea chests and pulls himself up over a ship. To interview people. Fucking madlad.

Henri is getting *into it* feral frenchman child.

I don't think that's a normal response. That abandonment/orphandom PTSD does things to a brain.

well somebody sure had fun discovering After Effects transitions.

Yeah your ship's cool and all but does your ship have a meetcute that involves blunt force trauma with weaponized literature.

To be continued because of the 30 image limit

[my-secret-shame]

Can you please decide my fate with any of Oscar's characters, pretty please 🛐🥺👉👈

🔮THE FATES HAVE DECIDED🔮

Your soulmate is: Bud Cooper

And you met: at the office

(I'm sorry I couldn't resist using this gif with the cats!)

Just looking at the stars to see what the Fates know and they are telling me this: 

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” You’re trying, really trying, to keep your voice calm and even. Polite. 

But it is starting to get to you.

You’d been in this god forsaken building for three and a half hours already. 

You’d been sent to floor five, then three, then two, then three again, then six, then back to five. And now, on four, you were at your limit. 

All you wanted to do was to update an address on your life insurance policy. The stupid thing wasn’t even your idea, it had come with your job. Part of an ‘all around package’, that was compulsory. 

You hadn’t even thought about it for the year and a half you’d been there. And now all this just for a stupid, fucking-

“I’m really sorry, but floor two is where you need to go,” the receptionist explained. 

“I've already been to floor two, and three, and five and six!” The exasperation burnt the edge of your words. “Please, I just need to update the address.”

“I’m sorry, but floor two is,”

You were going to scream. You closed your eyes, clenched your jaw so tightly together that you were sure you’d snap a tooth and breathed deeply. 

The receptionist was still talking, but you couldn’t hear them. 

It was only when a warm hand tightly touched your shoulder, did you snap back to the world around you. 

“What’s the trouble here?” The newcomer said, his voice light. 

“Mr Cooper, I was just trying to explain that this policy holder needs to go to floor two for address updates and-”

“From what I heard, they’d already been to two?” 

You stared at him, it was like a chorus of angels singing. You nodded your head rapidly. 

“And to pretty much nearly every other floor in this place.” He gave you a small cheeky smile. It threw you for a complete loop for half a second. 

“Sir, I think-”

“Don’t worry about this,” Mr Cooper nodded in the receptionist's direction. “I’ll sort this out.” 

He guided you away from the desk and to his office, closed the door behind him and gestured to a chair. You gratefully took it. 

“Thank you so much, I feel like I’ve been trapped in his building.” 

He laughed, “yeah, I feel like that sometimes too. Coffee?” He motioned to the machine in the corner. 

“I’m alright, thanks.” 

He nodded and took the seat behind his desk. “No problem, I’m sure you want to get out of here as soon as possible.” 

You stared at him for a second too long, your thoughts fading out as you looked at him, before you quickly nodded. 

He smiled a little, but didn’t mention your obvious gawping at him. Heat burned at your skin. 

“Can I see your papers?” He gestured to your hands. 

The words filtered into your brain and took a few seconds longer than normal to translate. “Erm, yes, of course.” 

His fingers brushed against yours as you handed them over. 

“Ah, yep, you’ve even got a recent bill with your new address.” He gave you a brilliant smile. “I should be able to get this updated in no time at all,” He stood. “Please wait here.” 

You nodded, not trusting your own voice. And watched him as he left, before looking around the large space. 

Lightly you traced the edge of the desk, the name plague. ‘Bud Cooper’. You smiled to yourself. It suited him. 

The sound of the door opening made you jump. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” 

“No, it’s, you, I’m fine.” 

He smiled that small smile again and handed your documents back to you along with a new, updated policy. “All done.”

“Wow, that was, really fast.”

“Well, I prefer the term ‘efficient’, though I could always go slower next time.” 

You couldn’t form thoughts. 

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” 

“No, I, I’m sure I’ve taken up too much of your time today-”

“Not at all,” he sat against the edge of his desk. “Never wasted time when helping a beautiful customer.” 

You couldn’t form words.

“Though, if you want, you could always make it up to me?” He leaned towards you ever so slightly. “How about I take you out later?”

You swallowed. “Surely that would be a benefit for me?”

He grinned. “A mutually beneficial outing, I assure you.”  

Thank you so much!

My Secret Shame's Little Party

[dreamchaserguild]

Dreamjournaling: When Your Dream's Plot Jumped The Shark

Ghost: My dream begun like too many others. with me in a Walmart, "shopping." Shopping needs to be in quotations because I wasn't buying anything. I didn't have a shopping cart. I was just browsing as I often do in these dreams. Maybe making a working shopping cart would be too complicated for my brain to process.

It doesn't matter the reason. What matters is that there was a display case. In that display case were objects, some sort of vague toys that were bright pink and purple. Perhaps some sort of electronic dogs or pets.

One had fallen over, which bugged me. Normally, you would need a Walmart employee to come over and open up the case, but luckily, there was a slit in the side designed to be just big enough for me to fit my entire hand through.

After picking up the box and putting it right side up again, I left the department. This was actually in the area at the front of the store where you might usually find customer service rather than whatever I found here.

As I leave, Walmart employees are coming to where I just left. First one. Then another. Then another.

Oh shit! I must have triggered some sort of alarm by reaching into the display case and now they're coming to check to see if anything was stolen.

The logical part of my brain is saying that if they stop me, I can easily explain what I had done and they would see that nothing was taken.

The part of my brain that abhors social interaction is telling me that this is going to a be a very awkward conversation so I speed up hoping to avoid them.

"Hey! Sir!"

Damnit!

"Can you tell me where you're going."

I try to walk away but she follows me. Which is ridiculous because usually the Walmart employees do their best to get as far away from customers as they possibly can.

Then she tells me I needs to give them my handprint for some reasons. I at first think it's about matching for fingerprints on the display case and try to get away.

As I do, I'm assailed by several Walmart employees and strange people in suits trying to get my handprint. When someone tries to do this by force, it registers invalid because it was involuntary.

At this point, there is one thing that I'm absolutely convinced of. This isn't any simple check to see my handprints. Somehow, this is going to takeover my brain if I consent and most of the people in this building already have consented, giving up their free will.

I know instinctively that I'm going to be one of the last holdouts where most people have signed away their freedom.

I get knocked to the ground and beat up, but I will not consent. I will not submit to evil. (It helps that I can't feel any pain in my dreams.)

I'm taken to this small room that doesn't look like anywhere that would be in a Walmart.

And then my dream, being an asshole, kicks me out of the main character seat. Now I'm watching in third person as a spy dude who looks nothing like me named Eli gets tortured by an evil general so that he'll willingly agree to this.

He, who had been me just a few minutes ago, stubbornly refuses, bravely declaring that he would rather die and that no one should have their freedom stripped from them.

The general twists the guy's arm behind his back.

I, annoyed at this turn of events and becoming more aware that this is a dream, try to force myself back into "Eli's" perspective. It turns out that even if you can't physically feel pain, trying to be 1st person in a dream where you're getting your arm twisted behind your back is still pretty unpleasant.

I'm not sure if I woke up because of the torture or because of trying to brute force my way into a dream character's body or both.

[mushroom-for-art]

Hehehe brain rot go brrr made another Xatt who also has interconnecting lore with the original two (Xatts species belonging to @chocodile) ft. Past vs modern form I suppose comparison

The shadow magic cave system stuff that makes these guys really just spat this one out and said fuck you you've got teeth problems XD I'm so sorry this probably isn't an actual thing that happens I'm just like this, so for some reason his mouth had too many teeth which caused many problems, he has teeth growing on top of each other and being forced sticking out, tusks growing out through his skin a broken tusk that's definitely infected, probably infections in his gums from his teeth being whack uncomfortable drooling from the pain and probably bad breath tbh not that their mouths smell good normally but extra ew. So eating is incredibly hard prey smells his mouth and is put off by it, his bulbs are weak sauce not very good glow bad illumination hard to get preys attention (sorry bout that) and honestly trapping and suffocating prey is difficult when your mouth hurts. I just made him and made his life difficult. I imagine he's got more of a weasely body shorter than Xep from feet to ears but longer than her from snout to before tail end. I think he has the biggest tail mouth so far out of all 3? I'd have to do a size chart he's definitely bigger than bun and I do want to give him the biggest chompers. I tried to keep fur color patterning realistic but plain as I wasn't sure on how far patterns could be pushed before it became a different coat type. I also tried not to give this one pink bulbs as the past two have been pink....instead he became pink and arguably purple is just pink, I can't win pink bulbs just too dang good. He was meant to have a much more blue color scheme in my mind he was blueish aligned but it didn't look nice so he pink.

As modern hes a class traitor lmao, I feel as he struggled he planned to leave caves to try life in the human society world and got snatched up by some people who saw him and went "oh poor thing look at it!" and he was promptly given drugs and veterinary care to remove his extra teeth and help with his infections. They realised after oh yea this is one of those creatures they're apparently quite smart. And he revealed yea he is. The people had already paid the vet bill by then (he had been careful to pretend to be 'knocked out' he didn't want no bills), so he was a free man. He actually keeps in touch with them they did him a solid he does appreciate it, and has his own job and such and housing ect. He went to the dentist about getting his remaining teeth straightened as they were still whack and they gave him anaesthetics to do it, which he found rude like yea sure he probably would've pretended to bite an arm off, maybe actually, doesn't mean they should give him drugs. Like sir. Sir you know fine well you would've bitten someone dont bullshit me. In all honesty I just wanted to add braces to his design to show how 'human' he is in a way how different he is to my wild Xatts, his modern design came first then I decided to give his younger self dental issues. I also love how his chest boof turned into an almost tie illusion, he also has scars from struggling in the wild before joining society which is funny the one guy doing taxes is the only one with visible scars. That's life and I wanted to do scars adds interest to character designs

Currently outside his job he engages in trade and business with Xep, this was after falling for the lure of Bun outside a cave and being a bit worried cause Xatts don't usually leave the caves are you lost do you want a help footing in the outside world? (human society seems to have made him soft). And was promptly jumped by Xep and nearly robbed before she realised annoyingly he had nothing she wanted. From then on after a bit of arguing they worked out a business deal she had human items she didn't want that he could pawn off and then use that money (keeping a percentage for himself of course) to get her things she would want. Bun doesn't think much of him, thought he was a traitor naturally at first but he quite liked her and thus immediately lied saying he in fact was not there willingly! Oh no! He had in fact been trapped-no taken by people while unconscious who were now holding him for money for doing stuff as he was unaware taking out his old teeth and he had no choice but to work to get money to pay them back. The lies coming a bit too easily and quickly, can't help it he's become a liar by habit and he does feel bad later for painting his human society companions like that but, they'll never meet so it'll be fine neither will know the truth. He's slightly nervous around Xep naturally even though he lives with humans her behaviourisms are all wrong for Xatts she's hard to read and it makes him vastly uncomfortable at times but she has things that are sellable and he likes a bit of business, nothing wrong with extra money in his pocket, and they can talk about human things sometimes and it's nice to not have to explain something in detail that she just knows what he means. Meanwhile him and Bun are civil with each other, I imagine he got a bulb cap for her chipped bulb to cover the top as it honestly probably causes sensitivity and ringing so the cover helps block that out until her bulb regrows fully or to a state that it's not hypersensitivity so she appreciates that even if it's from the people world.

But that's my new boy he's not named yet, I had actually done a quick search trying to find a name but alas short attention span nothing jumped out. For now he's probably just Weasel.

[sugawarassoulmate]

sugawara x bad boy 🍑 please!! Your blog is amazing!!

everyone's been wanting mean!suga and it's been so long. i hope i'm not rusty 🥺

words: 784

cw: fem!reader, secret relationship, mean!suga, oral (f receiving), orgasm denial, car sex, minors dni

“don’t worry, sir,” daichi said, looking handsome in his button-down shirt. “i promise you she’s in good hands. he was absolutely perfect, a heartwarming smile that easily won your mother over and a good head on his shoulders that impressed your father.

for months your parents have been bugging you about meeting the boyfriend you tried so hard to hide from them. they just wanted to know if their precious daughter was dating a boy worth her time. and daichi had done such a good job that your parents shrugged off your normal curfew. “bring her home whenever,” they said, already falling for his charms.

they waved the two of you off as you walked to daichi’s car—obviously, he opens the door for you—and it isn’t until you turn the corner, away from their prying eyes, that you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding in.

“alright, man, you’re in the clear,” daichi says, eyes never leaving the road. you hear a groan that fills your heart with joy.

“fuck, i thought you’d never leave!” sugawara complains, sitting up from the backseat and cracking his neck. he leans in so he’s between you and daichi at the front of the car, turning to cradle your face in his hands. “you look so pretty, baby.” he says, lips slotted against one another as he licks his way into your mouth.

he kisses you for a bit until daichi gags. “would really appreciate it if you could fuck after you get out of my car,” he deadpans. you can feel sugawara’s smile on your mouth before he pulls away, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

“don’t think i forgot about you, buddy, i owe you one,” he laughs, making sure to leave an obnoxious kiss on daichi’s cheek. daichi, who’s painfully used to this behavior, takes it and keeps driving. it only takes a few minutes until you can see sugawara’s beat-up van in the distance. he pulls up next to it and puts the car in park. “i’ll come back in a couple hours to come get you,” he says, reminding you not to stay out too late.

“thanks so much, dai, really,” you say, but your boyfriend’s getting antsy. he jumps out of the car to stretch his limbs before he opens your door to pull you into his arms.

“yeah, thanks, man. i’ll make sure not to keep her too late,” he chuckles, already kissing along your jawline. daichi, unconvinced, rolls his eyes and sends his friend another warning before driving off. you and sugawara are finally alone after weeks of sneaking around.

he opens the back of his van and motions for you to go in first. you make yourself comfortable as he scrambles in and shuts the door, immediately hovering over you. “i had this whole date planned but i’ve just missed you so much,” suga says, playing with the hem of your skirt. “can i play with you, baby?”

he asks for it so sweetly that you can’t refuse him.

suga’s tongue was sinful and relentless. once he was in between your legs, nothing could tear him away. you never knew what to expect with him, some nights he’d turn your brain to mush, making you cum over and over. but most nights, he liked to hear you beg as he denied your release.

“kou, kou…please!” but what were you begging for? did you want him to stop? but his tongue felt so good, how could you stop yourself from grinding on it? did you want him to let you cum? good luck with that. suga thinks you taste sweeter after he knows you’ve begged for it.

he pulls off your clit, fingers still buried between your folds. “but i’m not done playing yet,” suga whines, biting down on your inner thigh to leave a bruise nobody would be able to see. “and this pussy just tastes so good, i can’t stop.”

his fingers don’t stop until your body starts shaking, waves of pleasure about to crash down on you but he rips it away just as quickly, laughing when the tears start pouring from your eyes. “pretty tears from a pretty girl. how much more do you think you can take, baby?”

you’re shaking your head. “no more, kou, no more just wanna cum,” suga’s never wanted to fuck you bad in his life. part of him just wants to fold you in half and fuck his cum until you’re full. but he can hold off just a little longer.

“i think you can do better than that, baby,” he chuckles, positioning his mouth over your cunt once more. “you’re not cumming until you’re screaming for it.”

©sugawarassoulmate 2022 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!

[satans-left-asscheeky]

For once it’s not child sole! Happy days! Anyway! What about a Sole who’s scary good at voice impressions, and their companion has gotten used to them just imitating random voices whenever they feel like it- but then walking in on Sole telling a story and doing a perfect imitation of THEIR voice. Idk I have too many OCs with weird talents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maccready

"What the fu-! How..? ... how are you doing that?"

Nope, nope, nope. Not today buckaroo to weird. The thing to note about Maccready though is that he's painful superstitious so he'd be raking his brain for what type of creature could change their voice like that, because no way a normal human could. He'd even confront sole asking them if they were human and got embarrassed when they laughed in his face...

Hancock

"Woah... never heard my own voice before......"

He'd whisper it under his breath to himself. It wouldn't even cross his mind that it could be sole. He'd just think he was either way to high, or he'd finally lost it. Either way he's asking Fahrenheit what she thinks hearing his own voice meant next time you're in goodneighbor.

Cait

"Cut that shite out right now if youd like to keep yer teeth!"

It wouldn't freak her out like the rest of the companions, but do you know how many people have mocked her accent over the years? Safe to say she's a. it sensitive about it so tread carefully.

Danse

"....."

*Existential crisis*

Is sole a synth? Sole must be a synth to be able to do that, surely? Right? What is happening? Is anything real? Has sole been sent to replace him and are they slowly starting the change? What is life? No not probable. The institute wouldn't put that much effort into keeping him alive that long. Humanity is flawed probably beyond repair... It's been 200 years how come everything is still radioactive? Surely people should've gotten further than they have in 200 years... has it really been that long? is time a lie? Time is a construct who's to say humanity collectively isn't losing touch with reality. Is sole a synth? Why is Nuka cola still fizzy?

Curie

"Madame/Monsieur how are you able to talk like me? Were you given ms nanny technology? This is so fascinating!!!"

Annnnddd you just started a 3 hour conversation on Ms nanny tech, and voice training exercises.... She's a curious girl what can she say. Gotta get that knowledge

Deacon

*Starts talking back in their voice*

Yeah he most likely can do this too. And even if he's really bad at it he's still gonna do it just to see the look on soles face. Priceless

Piper

"I'd ask where you learned that, but im scared I don't wanna know..."

How do even learn you have some of these talents? Like do you just wake up and suddenly damn I can speak in other people's voices? Trippy.

Nick

"Kid.... Look I got work I gotta do some work, and then you can tell me all about your story. In your voice please."

Hes a tired old man. He may love sole, but he also has work. You ever seen one of those super sweet parents that loves their kid with all their heart, is just so tired they can't even barely function that's him. Even though sleep may not be an issue for him I'm sure once he gets his mind set on something he wants to finish that task before starting a new one.

Preston

"I don't know how you're doing that general, but it's probably the coolest thing I've ever seen!"

Preston seldom gets excited, but when he does he goes all out. Just image kid in a candy store. If sole has any other cool talents he'll ask about them and then demand they show him.

X6-88

"Ma'am/Sir please give me a moment I think my audio processors are malfunctioning"

He would think he'd finally busted something until sole breaks down laughing at him. The he realizes that the future director is just using him for a joke... what a sick cruel world he lives in

[archaeojones-archive]

This is seriously the coolest blog idea EVER and I cannot wait for more info oh my god.

As for questions, what was this nerd's first dig?

"Nerd!? I resemble that remark!"

...

"As for my first dig...well...allow me to be a little sentimental: Jamestowne. I may be young by Nation standards, but my memory of that early place is fuzzy. And I think it was first because I was that little, and second, Arthur ferried me back and forth between my land and England a few times. I ain't entirely sure. Jamestowne also really struggled for years in the beginning. I think Lord Father kept me under wing when he could, though I know he had his own issues in the 17th century!

"I have-I have vague memories of pain and hunger from the Starving Time between 1609 and 1610, I think...or maybe it was a somewhat worried Arthur watching over me during then. The early Fort period really eludes me. That's why I went. Of course, I remember later things from Jamestowne by feeling such as Bacon's Rebellion in 1676. The burning of what was then still technically a capital stung like a bitch. And I remember hearing about the abandonment of the city for Williamsburg - or Middle Plantation, then - after Jamestown once again faced trial by fire in 1698. Word to the wise, y'all: Apparently Virginians attract fire! Williamsburg has burned a few times through my history, too.

"So that's all a really long-winded way to say I assumed a mild-mannered alter ego and worked for a short time at the Historic Jamestowne site. Can you believe there were possibly as many as six churches through Jamestowne's occupation? Six? I don't even remember half of them, Good Lord! And doing a dig there cleared up a few memories, too. We screened a fragmentary Robert Cotton pipe from one of the units and I felt like I had a brain blast. I remembered Arthur owning just one of Cotton's pipes, but it was the only pipe he dared to own that was made from Virginian clay. The rest of his I distinctly remember being from white English clay. Nothing less for Sir Arthur Kirkland if you can believe it."

...

"I didn't get to volunteer there too long, since of course, my government owns my ass half the time, but I got sentimental real quick. I still follow their archaeological news when I can! Just this summer, their field school uncovered a Fort-era ditch north of the Civil War earthworks from Fort Pocahontas, on-site at Jamestown. And reading their Dig Update, it was weirdly familiar! Good people there doing work. Very awesome people! And Jamestown is damn close to the Colonial Williamsburg museum and archaeological site, as well as maybe half an hour's drive from Yorktown, and then so much more. I don't visit there but damn if I don't sometimes forget how much happened in Virginia.

"Also sheesh, once again I've rambled! Sorry about that, dude. I promise there will be NORMAL UPDATES soon. I'm hoping to do a human anatomy lesson dudes! And not what you guys are thinking, you're nasty. It'll be me, Mr. Jones, here to teach about bones!"