#I'm kind of liberal with who I block though

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I get a particularly nasty message, I always check to see if they're following me first. Nine times out of ten, they're not. But they're also, unfortunately, the same people who feel entitled to send me multiple messages in a row, most of them heavily steeped in the language of moralization and purity.

Like whenever I talk about painkillers or pain management, I always get a handful of well-meaning people who are maybe new to my blog or are just young, asking me if I've tried diet/exercise/meditation, etc.

Sometimes I'll respond to them. Other times I'll just ignore them because I get those kinds of messages so often it's like white noise, and maybe part of me hopes if they stick around on my blog, they'll learn it through exposure via my incessant bitching.

When you see me responding to someone offering that kind of advice, it's either because I'm at my fucking limit or because I'm hoping it's a teachable moment and an otherwise seemingly nice person might unlearn some harmful biases.

The people who don't follow me are not interested in any kind of conversation on the subject. They do, however, feel the most qualified to tell me, someone they didn't know existed until one of my posts crossed their dash, how to manage my life, everything I'm doing wrong, and why I'm a bad person.

And for them, my disability is proof that I am a bad person because they view health as a moral issue.

If you're sick, it's because you don't exercise enough, don't eat the right foods, don't pray enough, don't do enough. They genuinely believe that if they say and do all the right things, like a Good Person, they'll never get sick.

It's their security blanket against the harsh reality that anyone is one bad day away from disability. One faulty gene, one bad infection, one bad accident away from a life-long diagnosis. And if they do get sick, it's a test. A challenge to be overcome with Willpower as they learn the True Meaning of Life.

It can never just be a simple fact of life that sickness happens. That disability exists without a moral reason.

And it's suffocating.

Day in, day out. Folks who don't know me from fucking Eve telling me I'm being punished. Not always as outright as that. They don't always use that word. But sometimes I appreciate it when they do because at least then they're being honest. They're not couching it in the softer language of leftist circles. Not hiding it behind concern.

Because the truth is, there are just as many folks who think they're liberal and enlightened who'd be happy if disabled people just stopped existing. They don't like thinking about us because it makes them think about themselves. About their own fragility and mortality, and they hate that. They hate that there's something they can't control with their thoughts and actions. That they can't moralize their way out of.

Honestly, it's a relief when people are just cunts about it because I can hit the block button, safe in the knowledge that they were never the kind of person who would see me as a person. But when it's some 20yo kid with their pronouns, orientation, and "ACAB" in their profile spouting the same kind of moralization, sometimes even with the language of eugenics, it feels like such a betrayal. Like a loss.

And perhaps if I wasn't multiply disabled, I'd have the energy to pull them back. To tell them why they're wrong and hope like hell they realize what they're doing is harmful. But then, if I wasn't disabled, they wouldn't be messaging me, so I wouldn't be dealing with it.

I wouldn't be expected to use my existence as a teachable moment to spoon-feed them compassion. But I am, and I do. When I can. Not always with the grace that's warranted. Not always with the thought and compassion I ought to. (And I don't; I acknowledge that. I'm prone to anger and off-the-cuff remarks that are hurtful too. Though I try to keep most of it to myself or save it for therapy.)

Basically, if you've made it this far through the TED talk, don't be fucking cunts to disabled people. Don't tell chronically ill people to try yoga. Don't moralize pain relief. Suffering is not noble.

You need to kill the cop and the priest in your head telling you otherwise.

And also if you're the nice people sending me nice messages. Thank you. It helps cushion all of *gestures* this.

[the-guilty-writer]

Aaron x daughter!reader,

His daughter is a cane user and she has a bad day pain wise?

Aaron Hotchner x daughter!reader

Just like your father, you'd always been stoic, easily able to hide your pain from the outside world. It was something Aaron always had to keep in mind, how you'd push through and never speak a word about your discomfort. He'd always seen the characteristic in himself as a blessing, but in you he viewed it as a curse to himself.

There were times when you couldn't hide it, though. Usually you were well past a manageable pain level when it happened, and Aaron beat himself up for not noticing sooner. He'd never thought the hardest person to profile would be his own daughter, but apparently you were. People didn't see what you didn't want them to see, including your father.

Today, however, you'd reached your breaking point, hardly able to get out of bed, even with the help of your cane. You had tried, of course, but the gravity of your pain had been too much to bear. The sound of Jack's bare feet running past your door reminded you of the day to come, how your brother approached everything in stride with a smile on his face.

You tried your best to do the same, but you could only do what your body allowed.

A soft knock landed on your door and you called to invite whomever it was in.

"Morning, sweetheart." Your dad peeked his head through the door, his brow already furrowed with concern.

"G'morning," you mumbled out the words.

Aaron padded into the room, closing the door behind him. He stayed as quiet as possible, not wanting to draw attention from Jack, who would have wanted to stay for the conversation.

Your dad sat down on the bed, running a gentle hand through your hair. The gesture was something he'd done since you were a little girl, one of calm and quiet understanding.

"Do you want to stay home today?" he asked.

"No." Truthfully, you didn't want to stay home. Want implied that it was something you could give or take, a choice. If you could have chosen to go to school, you would have, but your body didn't allow that kind of liberation.

"Do you need to stay home today?" Aaron re-phrased.

You didn't have the energy to speak this time, managing a slight nod.

"Okay." He kissed your forehead before exiting the room quietly.

As soon as he left, you fell into a state of half-sleep, unable to reach full rest due to the pain coursing through your body. It was like some sort of horribly sick joke that you needed sleep to aid the ache, yet it kept you from sleeping in the first place.

The sound of the front door opening, your dad talking to JJ, her leaving with the boys in tow, all happened in a haze. It was only when your dad’s footsteps ascended the stairs that you were able to pull yourself from the fog.

A quiet knock on the door brought you out of your head and into your body. Gentle footsteps sounded against the carpet until you felt the bed dip slightly, followed by a gentle hand tucking loose hairs away from your face.

You opened your eyes slowly, being met with resistance from your own body that so desperately wanted to block out the light. Pain made it difficult to process your surroundings, but once you did, the sight of your dad in his normal house clothes surprised you.

"Don't you have work?"

"Nope." He planted a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Anderson is bringing me some files, but I'm staying home with you."

"You didn't have to do that." It came out as a painful whisper.

"I wanted to." Hotch reached for the bedside table, grabbing a cup with a straw. "Can you try just a little?"

He helped you prop yourself up against the pillows and held the straw to your lips. The taste of a fruit smoothie filled danced along your taste buds, and slowly but surely you were able to consume half the contents of the cup. When you were done, you pushed it away slightly and laid back down, your dad tucking you in just as the doorbell rang.

"I'll check on you in a bit. Promise to call if you need anything?" he asked.

You nodded your head, eyes already closed, mind in a half-sleep.

Hotch kissed you on the forehead gently and left the room, closing the door quietly so as to not disturb your rest. He could only hope that sleep (and pain medication) would allow you to begin the day again in a few hours.

[batboyblog]

2016 is often considered the point when leftism managed to get itself into the mainstream and became more popular, but I honestly can't help but wonder, given the sheer descent into conspiracy theory and selfish cruelty of the current state, whether in hindsight it was actually leftism's step into decline.

I've been thinking about this a lot, sadly I'm getting the start of a Migraine, so the edges of my thoughts are all fuzzy so idk if I'll be able to do what I think justice, but lets try.

The human mind doesn't really like complexity, it'd a pattern recognition machine built to find food and stuff that thinks you're food in the African brush. So we like to find patterns and lump stuff together, its hardwired in.

so "Leftism" I do understand what you mean, but I think it covers a really wide area.

and I think in politics we like to assign ideological and policy logic to things to political movements, it has to be about a coherent and rational ideology and world view we think. But... I think, often times it's emotional as much as anything. Did people vote for JFK or Reagan so much for policy as they, personally in their person, seemed to be the antidote to what was wrong in the moment? JFK seemed young and energetic when compared to an elderly and ill President Eisenhower, Reagan had the claiming aging leading man energy to make everyone feel like it'd be okay, a movie cowboy to lead us against bad guys we didn't understand while nice guy Jimmy Carter seemed stuck.

So back to 2016, I think there was so real ideology to start. The Left of the Democratic Party felt empowered after 2006, the left of the party had been against the Iraq War from the jump and that turned into the organizing issue that pushed Republicans out of power in 2006. A San Fran liberal, founding member of the House Progressive Cause was the first woman Speaker (and in favor of gay marriage too). In 2008 the Left of the party for largely emotional reasons sided with Obama over Clinton, even though they largely overlapped on policy and where there were (minor) differences she was to his left.

so riding high from two back to back wins, having gotten a lot of progressives elected to the House and Senate (like Bernie Sanders) progressive Dems were pretty let down by the real results, the ACA got bogged down and their dearest wish list item, the public option, which Pelosi fought for so hard, failed to make it into the final bill, and then 2010, a blood bath. And understandably there's been some frustration with Obama for not living up to the hype and also failing to really focus on state level races, Democrats got tarred hard

BUT! there's also an emotional side, Occupy Wall Street. I remember at the time being interested in it, I was young and more radical, but soon I got really frustrated because they had no demands, I watched every night MSNBC which was very sympathetic, but no one could articulate what it is they wanted, past a vague idea of "punish" the guilty.

I think there's a lot of restless frustration, some of it grounded and based in reality some of it not, in this country and its only grown over time as well as a contempt for and a break down of any kind of respect for experts and norms any anything established.

SO! I think that emotion latched onto Bernie and the left of the Democratic Party. As someone who worked that election I can tell you, at first knocking doors in New Hampshire, I got the taste of the very start of the campaign. And people would say "oh I'm voting for Bernie now, but I'll vote for Hillary in the general" but soon it went from friendly, from "we're pushing her to the left" to something bitter and angry. I had Bernie supporters tell me 1990s Fox News conspiracy theories around the Clintons, I had a Bernie supporter (in the general election) follow two college girl volunteers for blocks back to our office to SCREAM at us all.

Bernie won the New Hampshire Primary pretty commandingly that year, and partly because he had a strong volunteer network. But in the general despite many efforts we could barely get any of his regular volunteers to come work with us against Trump. I remember one lady who showed up just once and looked RIP SHIT! to be there, I think she said that all the positive stuff we said about Clinton, at a canvass launch for Clinton, made her "sick" and "don't expect me to say anything nice about her!" and she was one of only a tiny number of Bernie people who showed up in the general so she was better than some.

I remember the only Bernie Volunteer we got to become a regular. He'd knocked doors for months in New Hampshire for Bernie, organized his own phone bank into Nevada for their primary, drove down to South Carolina and spent the week before their primary knocking. Clearly a true believer, and when he decided to volunteer with us they kicked him out of the Facebook group he started and stopped speaking to him. I'll always remember what he said, that around the Bernie office they used to say that "a Trump voter was just a Bernie voter who hasn't been educated yet"

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, there were real motivations of the progressives and the left of the party, real policy based frustrations, particularly around how health care worked out, and I think Bernie Sanders himself was running because of that and to express that. But it tapped into something else, something not really political and much more emotional, rage and bitterness and a need to punish, the same energizes Trump taps into. It made a permission to be nasty to people you don't like, particularly women, I won't repeat the things people said on the phones, horrible.

now in 2024, almost 10 years later, there's a lot more depression mixed in, Trump talks about America as a 3rd world country all the time, there's just a vibe of having given up, hopelessness. There's a genocide and everything is horrible and hopeless and give up and die.

I don't believe in giving up, I don't believe in bitterness, I'm not a sunny person in real life, but I believe the point of politics, the politics I'm a part of, is lifting people up. It might be corny and uncool, but I believe in America, not that we're prefect, no, we're not, but together we've done great things, we fought a world war and went to the moon, and we can do great things together still always if we believe in each other, build each other up, stop being so afraid and weak and sad. I want to be beat fascism again, I want to go to the moon again, I want to beat climate change, and finally finally make the promise that all men are created equal REAL, and I don't believe in hiding behind walls, and crying that we can't do it any more, fuck that shit.

[spacelazarwolf]

i know you’re not my therapist but i see some people asking you for advice so i hope this is okay, feel free to ignore it: just… the way transmascs and transmasc issues are treated by society at large is really getting to me and affecting my mental health. even trying to access “trans” resource centers or resources in general and they’re geared primarily towards transfems or they see that im not a trans woman and their tone towards me completely shifts in a negative way, transmasc issues at large being willfully ignored, i mean just about the only place i see anyone talk about them without immediately getting attacked is on tumblr and even then the conversations get shut down. I’m scared to talk about feeling alienated as a trans man with a therapist because i’m scared of them shutting me down even though thats the exact opposite of what therapists are supposed to do. it just feels like people don’t even want us to exist. my mental health is reeeally suffering because of this and i feel like i can’t talk about this to anyone. like… there has to be a way it gets better right?

it absolutely does get better. in terms of online experience, use the block button liberally. it's something i'm trying to do better about myself, just not giving people the time of day who won't engage in good faith. my block list must be a whole archive by now.

in terms of in person experience, i was really surprised by how many other trans men and trans mascs immediately opened up when i brought up the feelings of isolation i was struggling with. it's definitely something that's still taboo to talk about, but if you find those spaces where you can just sit down and talk candidly, it's a really healing experience. if you need to kind of dip your toe in first to see how they'll react, that's fine, but seriously i was shocked when i started connecting with more trans men and trans mascs in my area and there was this immediate, huge sigh of relief when i tentatively brought up those topics. i've also talked to a lot of trans women and trans femmes and nonbinary people in general irl who are very receptive as well, and often open up about the ways it affects them as well. there's more of us out here who want things to get better than tumblr dot com would have us believe.

[alwaysteammikaelson]

Sweet Sacrifice

Warnings: Violence, Abuse,

Summary: Klaus Mikaelson killed a man named Derrick's wife decades ago. Derrick captures Klaus and locks him in a spelled bunker, Derrick's daughter Y/N is forced to help contain Klaus but develops feelings for him.

Pairing: Reader X Klaus mikaelson.

Klaus growled as his captor, Derrick, lashed out again. The spelled chains burned his wrists, draining his power. He was weak from days without blood, unable to heal from Derrick’s torture.

Derrick sneered at the hybrid. "You monsters took everything from me," he spat. "Now I'll make you suffer as I have."

Decades ago, Klaus had killed Derrick's wife in a fit of rage. Now Derrick sought revenge through cruelty, keeping the hybrid locked in this bunker to mete out sadistic punishment.

Y/N, Derrick's daughter, watched in horror as her father tortured Klaus. Derrick had forced her to help contain the hybrid, threatening to kill her if she didn't obey. She brought Klaus blood and witnessed the increasing depravity of Derrick's revenge.

Klaus met Y/N's eyes, seeing her fear and shame. He didn't blame her for Derrick's madness. Y/N couldn't help but feel for the hybrid, trapped and suffering at her father's hands.

Derrick noticed their exchanged glance. "You care for this beast?" he thundered. Y/N cowered as Derrick turned his fury on her. "He killed your mother, or have you forgotten?"

Derrick backhanded Y/N so hard she fell. Klaus strained against his chains, rage and hate billowing through him. "Touch her again and you die," he snarled.

Derrick laughed mirthlessly. "You are in no position to threaten me." He unsheathed a knife, stalking toward Klaus. "Time to up my game, I think."

Derrick spent hours carving up Klaus, reveling in his screams. Y/N sobbed, unable to block out the hybrid's agony. She knew she had to save him from her father's madness.

When Derrick finally left them, Klaus sagged in his chains - broken but not defeated. Y/N rushed to his side, offering blood to heal his mutilated flesh. "I'm getting you out of here," she whispered.

Klaus gazed at her, stunned by her bravery and kindness. "You must come with me," he rasped. "Your father will kill you for this."

Y/N steeled herself and unchained Klaus. He was too weakened to stand, but the bonds that constrained his power fell away. "Derrick plans to desiccate you till you're mummified," Y/N revealed. "I won't let that happen."

Klaus's eyes glowed yellow with rage at the thought. Y/N helped him up and together they fled into the night before Derrick returned.

They hid for days as Klaus healed and regained his strength. His brush with true death had left an indelible mark - but Y/N's selflessness gave him reason to go on. She had saved him in every way a person could be saved. In return, he gave her the freedom she had never known under Derrick's control.

Derrick hunted them relentlessly. When he tracked them down, Klaus was ready. His fury at Derrick's cruelty knew no bounds.

"You wanted a monster?" Klaus taunted. "Here I am." He tore Derrick apart slowly, savoring every scream. Y/N watched without pity as the father who had made her life hell got what he deserved.

With Derrick dead, they were finally free of his shadow. Klaus cradled Y/N's face, seeing the scars left by her father's abuse. "No more, sweetheart. You need fear nothing now."

Y/N smiled through her tears, covering his hands with her own. Their shared pain had bound them together with hoops of steel, but their revenge and liberation at last allowed hope to surface from the darkness.

Though born of violence, their love held an abiding tenderness. They had given each other the gift of freedom and found redemption in each other's arms. The bunker of their torment now lay behind them, remaining of another life. Surviving Derrick's sadism against all odds, they stepped out of the shadows he had made and into the light.

[beevean]

Sorry but the Bible does say Jesus was scared of God harming humans. Jesus begged God not to harm humans and that they didn't know any better. Beev I thought you were going to stop crapping on N!Castlevania fans for just having a different opinion then yours? I think its kind of sick to take screenshots of other people and get upset about them liking a cartoon you don't like.

I genuinely don't remember Jesus being scared of God harming humans. I remember him crying before Judas betrayed him because he was afraid of the torture before him, and him crying that he felt forsaken by his father. From what I know, the God of the New Testament is presented as being much more merciful than the God of the Old Testament, who absolutely punished people liberally. I could be wrong, though, and anyway it wasn't remotely the point of either OP or mine.

But listen. You may have a point that arguing against screenshots is mean ("sick" is way too strong, as if OP or I wrote a whole callout post), even if I wasn't the one taking those screenshots. I got carried away, and I acknowledge that - as I said, some opinions hit too close to home for me to ignore, but it's not an excuse. However, bluntly, who are you? Why would you rather come into my inbox to chatisize me for my bad behavior like you're my parent, calling me Beev like we're friends but without so much as revealing your identity?

I'm not being aggressive, I'm just confused. Why do you care so much about my behavior? I'm not telling you to go and yell at the OP who took those screenshots, please don't, but why don't you simply unfollow me if you think I'm a bad person? Block me like everyone else has done! I'm not the one who took those screenshots, I'm not the one who mentioned God in the post, why me then? Why the need to correct me and making me feel guilty for being a bit petty online? I accept being called out from people I trust, not an anon.

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

🌸Intro post! (Changes over time)🌸

ON BREAK FOR NOW :D

I do polls about the qsmp eggs and what kind of children they are! Suggestions are greatly appreciated, as I am a one man band!

Polls will be scheduled to post at 10AM PST every day, but I also love to reblog things about the eggs! I also run events to encourage people to make eggsonas and interact with others in the fandom, as well as posting art/stories about my own egg OC's!

🌸More about me and my blog under the cut! (and some rules)🌸

About me!

⭐️ My name is Captain! You can also call me Poll if you want, as that is the name of this blog's mascot/eggsona.

⭐️ I use They/it/(+neos? idk) pronouns. I don't mind what you call me either, so just go with your heart kkkkkk

🇺🇸 I am American

❗️I can and will block liberally. I refuse to let this blog be swamped in any amount of negativity. I am not a celebrity, I am a pleasant escape.

🌱 My special interest is plants, I am going to start my own garden soon! I also just watch a LOT of cartoons. Oh, I'm also an artist and a writer.

🫶 My native language is English, but I have been learning American Sign Language, Spanish, and recently French. I'm not good at the French.

My main Tumblr account is Captainbee66, but I keep them mostly separate. I just reblog fanart on that one, mostly. I also write fics on Ao3!

I am an Aroace, Agender adult with ADHD :]

About my blog

❤️ Most of this is going to be polls. When requesting polls, PLEASE request them separately. I would prefer an inbox spam over a block of requests. It makes it easier. Also, your requests won't be answered right away. I actually have a lot saved in my inbox, so there's a good amount to sift through. Rest assured, requests will be saved until a later time. I try not to waste.

⭐️ Random asks and questions are also encouraged! I think they're fun. If I don't answer them though, don't be discouraged. Sometimes I just don't have a good answer!

⭐️⭐️ If someone makes fanart/fics based on anything on this blog, please please please tag me, that would be so cool.

❤️ Also, any language allowed here! Google Translate is my best friend, so you can use whatever is comfortable to you.

⚠️ Since I've been asked a few times I'll put it here: I have a limit of 12 options on a poll. We have 11 living eggs. I unfortunately cannot put your favorite dead egg on the polls for this reason. That is why the "Other/Combo" answer exists.

Who are those eggs I keep seeing? I don't remember them from the QSMP??

They're my OCs! The egg in my pfp is Poll. They're sort of my mascot/eggsona that you all helped me make! The other egg is Tequilla, their brother! He's new to the family :]

⭐️ Poll uses all pronouns, Tequilla uses He/Him

🌸 Poll's defining item is a flower crown, Tequilla's is a messenger bag

😭 If anyone makes fanart of them, I will be so emotional about it.

What is Poll's Egg Playdate Project? Can I participate?

🌸This is a community project that I started! It is to encourage you all to make your own eggsonas and make friends, despite events that have happened. We are a strong community, and I want to foster that closeness we've had over the past year!🌸

❤️everyone is welcome to participate, no matter how "late" you are to the party!

❗️Please be respectful of other people's eggs. Don't be a bully, don't put them in bad situations without permission, and just generally behave, alright?

🫶Just have fun, interact with people, and spread your creative wings! If anyone wants a list of specific eggs, I've made a list that I can draw from :]

📖🖌✏️ You can make whatever you want for this project! Artworks, doodles, drabbles, paragraphs of loose thoughts, whatever you want! In any form that you want! The whole point is CREATION.

(Feel free to ask questions in my inbox <3)

[smilepilled]

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Something adjacent to a "DNI" / "BYI" post, but the first is useless, therefore this counts more of a guideline/keeping-track-of-stuff post. Please proceed with caution, as multiple distressing groups (&& topics) are mentioned.

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Before anything else, I'd like to state (similarly to the first tag on this post) that I do not particularly take DNI lists seriously (namely for myself, me-using-them in specific). I will block liberally, and if you don't smell like an ass, you might be easily able to be near me while mentioned below. Naturally, some things are "dealbreakers" for me, and I will punt you (on sight) to the sun itself. Do know that so long as you are a polite and/or kind person I will most likely not care about your stances — given you're not insane over discourse, that is. Alongside that, I will also be very clumsy with keeping track of this, so a heads up is always appreciated if you gotta — otherwise, block me yourself, curate your experience.

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Below are a handful of things that might be reason for people to turn around and/or block. This is not extensive, and may be updated in the future.

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I am significantly impulsive (though this has come to be way better than in the past, it's still here), I am sensitive/sensive albeit able to control my reactions to things (though not perfectly), I may have a short fuse with some things in some moments (and then extremely patient as well, in other moments), I have and will make mistakes with my wording in general && towards people (disability + not native english speaker), I can be extremely blunt to the point I may sound rude or obnoxious (it isn't intentional, keep that in mind), I do not tolerate people being shitty towards anyone (including myself), I do not accept binarification and policing of people's experiences-labels-existences (heavily), I am against radical ideology of any kinds (I'm looking at you, radfems. if youre a bioessentialist you should give up entirely), I am an anarchist and I do not like political figures no matter if they claim to be liberal or leftist (there should be no left VS right, only people VS authority).

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Anyone falling under any of the following categories will be most likely blocked on sight, as well as potentially reported depending on the case. This isn't a "DNI", this is just a list of things/groups/stances that are repulsive to me. The following sectors are separated for the sake of organization, and not in order of importance. This list is not extensive and may change over time.

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✦ — A — rad‐‐queers/xeno‐‐satanists, rad‐‐fems/exclusionary "feminists"/febfems/"golden star" idiots/tradfems/many libfems, exclusionists of any kind (including those against clashing labels & good-faithed, authentic identification), racist and/or xenophobic (anti-black, asian-hating, islam-antagonizing, nazi‐punks, indigenous‐dehumanist, eugenist, colorist, zionist, et cetera), bioessentialist/gender essentialist/sex essentialist/genitalist/the like (INCLUDES LINKING TRANS EXPERIENCES TO CERTAIN BIOSEX CHARACTERISTICS OR GENITALS, AND THOSE WHO UTILIZE TERMS LIKE "TMA"/"TME" IGNORANTLY), [inter]sexist, [trans-/bi-] misogynist [-noir], ableists/sanists (e.g.: uses the R word against others regardless of "being able to reclaim", narc/borderline abuse believer, capitalist, etc.), classist/elitist, (often) the high class(es), reactionary imbeciles, supportive of cops/against ACAB, cringe culture believer, those who don't question authority figures, uses the term "degenerate" casually (eugenistic origins; i don't mind if it's consensual kinky shit or reclamation though) ;

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✦ — B — speaks over trans men & transmasc voices ("doesn't believe" in their unique form of oppression, whatever term is used for that), speaks over complex/"confusing" identifying (EXISTING) queers, any sub-community gatekeepers of queer experiences ("xyz term is label exclusive!", which is frequently BS; culture-related labels aren't included in this), political lesbianists/"gold star" bullshit (puritism, sex shaming, dehumanization DOES NOT FIT with feminism, lesbianism and sapphism), label/experience cops & pro-cops at pride ;

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✦ — C — medical field bootlicker (it is filled with eugenics and intersexism), neutral/uncaring about the ongoing horrors in the world (any and all countries/peoples involved!!), syscourser*, against self diagnosis (which is classist, racist, etc.), self-diagnosed with unproper research, casually uses disorder/condition terms as a joke, appropriates group-specific/medical language, vivzmedia & funamusea supporter (idc about pfps or art usage but i am wary/weirded out by certain character choices), proshipper/comshipper/"darkshipper" & antishipper/shipwars (harrassment over ships is fucking goofy, but so are "uwu" abusive ships), flop/annoying humour accounts (don't take this to heart), people who do not even try to be kind/respectful/decent in any sort of situation (this hasn't to do with empathy or anything similar). — I CAN SEE YOU — ✦

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❕️ * — I physically cannot care about syscourse, as it drains my psychological and physical wellbeing; I have mixed opinions on it, and I'm majoritarily against (potentially or fully) dangerous practices. This includes but is not limited to: selling alters, "syshopping", "giving alters" and much more. I am literally just in my zone; i'm a —1A having individual; I theoretically fit under "traumagenic" and "median", if that matters at all.

I am also not positive towards tulpas && similar practices, due to how these communities are very often racist and appropriate culture — this doesn't count towards general spiritual practice, and specifically is aimed at cultural appropriation. additionally, I do not use the term system for myself OR for those with DID/OSDD1/UDD — i use plural, multiple, and pw(DID/USDD1/UDD). I apologize if that bothers you but it's way better for me personally (and for antis: "system" is a endo-inclusive term abranging more than just DID/OSDD/UDD, disorder-wise.).

IN SHORT, anyone can interact regarding this, but I will block if i see sketchy shit — do not bring such discourse, or any discourse, near me. I dont care if you involve yourself in it, and I will ignore your posts about it like my life depends on it (my health does). I also wholeheartedly believe in/agree with the "FUCK THE MEDICAL SECTOR" sentiment, for it is full of eugenism and intersexism — what we currently know is hanged above our heads.

⠀

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Thank you for reading, and have a marvelous day. Make sure to take a sip of water and eat something. May grace accompany on your journey. ^,.,^

⠀

[cath-lic]

Hallo! I was pleasantly surprised to open up your profile to find out you're both trans and catholic!! (This might be a long read)

I'm the same! But in recent years due to my transness/queerness + my criticisms of the church I've kind of distanced myself from the church. I still go to mass and receive communion and do what is expected of me (I'm in a very catholic family) but I do it with a hollow feeling in my heart.

Almost paradoxically though, I really like Jesus, I think he's a cool guy, I have unending respect for him + I take bible classes and I find it to be really fun and interesting, esp the gospels and I guess the new testament in general. Studying the characters, the setting and the meaning of the story is always so cool to me and I really really love it.

However, the environment i grew up in and the Catholics I grew up with gave me a really sour feeling and I feel a lot of spite because of the blatant hate they spew towards lgbtq people/ their hypocrisy at times (things like defending isr4el's actions vehemently even though they're contradicting themselves to their face when they preach about love and anti harm and stuff) umm I lost my sentence, basically I feel like lgbtq people would be the last thing Jesus would consider a problem and I'm just soo sick of hypocrisy among catholics and Christians that it's made me almost resentful but I'm not quite there yet

What I wanted to ask was, how are you keeping your faith despite all these things? Despite all the horrible actions people commit each day in the name of Jesus and Christianity (just look at, say, the treatment of trans people in the US, Project 2025, all that, book banning, just... Blatant misuse of the faith, I hope you know what I'm talking about). I feel like the more I hear about stuff like this, the less I want to associate myself with the church. I feel ashamed, I guess. I figure that I've lost myself in all this, but any advice? I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

this ended up being a long answer, so i'll put it under a cut!

hello my sibling, i know exactly how you feel. i was lucky enough to grow up in a non-hostile and fairly liberal environment, but for similar reasons, i am in the closet as well.

seeing the violence and vitriol that so many christians espouse on a daily basis is extremely upsetting to me. i absolutely despise the fact that christianity has become popularly associated with hatred. at the same time, i acknowledge that many christians have wielded our faith in such a way that they are absolutely deserving of that reputation.

what helps me is having catholic friends IRL and online that make me feel sane. building this type of community online honestly helped me in so many ways—i no longer feel like one of the few catholics in the usa that aren’t associated with the alt-right.

another thing that helped me was, ironically, finding a different church. though i am still catholic, i go to an episcopal church. it’s smaller and friendlier, and i felt much more welcomed there as well, and i feel comfortable knowing that these are people who share both my values and (most of) my religious beliefs.

i think i become more gung-ho about the faith when seeing the horrible things that people do in the name of christianity, actually. i tend to post more when i’m riled up about it, because i KNOW they’re wrong! so basically, when i’m feeling down, i turn to the source material. more often than not, they reaffirm my faith and reaffirm that god has sanctioned absolutely none of the shit that republicans are trying to pull.

i want people to know that being catholic does not mean being conservative, so i yell about it in my own space here. i don’t want to, you know, proselytize to people—so i make sure that this is a blog they can block. i would like to attend pride events and bring my own signs, and protect others from protestors at some point.

i’m sorry i don’t have a more succinct answer for you, my sibling. i can only assure you that you are not alone, and that so many of us trans catholics feel the exact same way. sending all my love to you ❤️❤️❤️

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Forbidden knowledge and the one time you're allowed to use it

Warnings: heavy angst and I mean that!! I cried so much writing this and have debated abandoning it several times!!

Listen to this for the full experience because that's what I listened to while writing this.

---

"I really don't think we should be doing this..." Sizhui tried, pulling onto one of Jingyi's sleeves. He swatted Sizhui's hand away, and he picked up some random book, a decidedly different one from what Hanguang-Jun had told them to get when he handed them the token for access in the forbidden section of the library.

"C'mon, aren't you even a little bit curious what's in here?" Jingyi replied, flipping through the pages of the book. "It's not like there's anyone to tell on us or anything, and who knows when we'll get the chance to snoop around here again?"

"Maybe there's a reason why we aren't allowed here so liberally, Jingyi... We should just go..."

"Sizhui, my man, live a little." And Jingyi tossed him a heavy book. "See what's in there, look for anything that's very powerful and very forbidden."

"And exactly why do you want to learn very powerful and very forbidden things?" Sizhui asked, suspicious, though he began sifting through the book as told.

"Because I'm curious and I also want to be the coolest guy around, obviously!"

"Jingyi, you can be cool without using whatever forbidden techniques are written in these books, you know?"

"Yeah, but what's cooler than the forbidden and the occult?"

"Not getting punished to do handstands for 12 hours..." Sizhui mumbled, sending a talisman to the ornate doors of the library to warn him if anybody walked in. He'd lie if he said he wasn't curious too, but it felt a bit too risky to just waltz around in the Lan sect's dark knowledge dungeon like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Still, he reasoned, he'd already broken the rules by disobeying a superior and he'd already looked into a book that he hadn't been allowed to - he'd get punished either way. And perhaps Jingyi had been right, it was incredibly rare for junior cultivators to be allowed into the forbidden section of the library, might as well make the best of it.

---

The night hunt had gone haywire so quickly and so unexpectedly that Sizhui and Jingyi hadn't even had time to think of the tipping point that led to their current situation. One moment they were slaying a small horde of fierce corpses, the next they found themselves trapped in the strangest array they had ever seen, with a literal army of ghouls attacking them from all directions.

They tried asking for help - they sent all of their flares flying, but that strange array blocked them, extinguishing the firework-like signal before it lit up the sky.

There was no time to think of how to break the array, not with corpses and demons jumping at them ceaselessly, fueled by such resentment that it backed the two cultivators into a corner, back to back, trying to protect themselves and each other, struggling for a solution, for survival.

---

"Hey, Sizhui, look at this!"

The book depicted a figure gathering their qi in the center of their chest, manifesting it as a large, powerful sphere.

"Apparently, this is some kind of ultimate technique that can destroy a large number of enemies and purify cursed land, break any curse or spell and is largely invincible. Isn't that cool?"

Sizhui read over the page around the drawing and frowned. "This technique... anyone who uses it dies. Painfully. It requires draining your life force out of your body, and in order to do that it..."

He tore his eyes from the book and shut it closed. "Let's just go, Jingyi."

---

"No!" Sizhui shouted, blocking another fierce corpse's strike. "No way, no!"

"What else is there left?!" Jingyi shouted back, throwing the last of his talismans against their assailants. "Nobody's coming, and we're running out of time and energy already! How much longer do you think we can go like this? A few minutes at most!"

"I fucking said no!" Sizhui all but growled, eyes fierce. "I'm not doing that! And I'm not letting you do it either!"

---

"What are you writing there?" Sizhui asked, peering over his friend's shoulder. He expected to find some silly romance story or a journal entry - but his eyes darkened in disapproval instead as his eyes recognized the writing. "Jingyi."

"I know you disapprove, but hey, it could be useful!"

"Why are you so hung up on that particular thing? Did you like reading about how you'd die if you used it that much?"

"That's not it." Jingyi shook his head, "There's a rule about using it. Apparently it doesn't work just when you want it to. Your body and your spirit would fight it unless this condition is met."

Sizhui hated that his interest was piqued. "What condition?"

"The condition is-"

---

Sizhui screamed, pain tearing through him as the corpse's claws dug into his chest, tearing the fine material of his robes and the delicate layer of skin underneath.

Jingyi cut it down before it could do any more damage, and rushed to help Sizhui balance as he burnt the very last talisman he had to keep the monsters at bay.

"Sizhui... come on, we can't go on like this forever."

Sizhui tried to steady himself but the pain and the damage of past injuries caught up to him, collapsing onto the ground even as Jingyi held him. "No- Jingyi, no, I can't-"

Jingyi wiped the blood off his face with a small smile. "I'll do it, it's okay."

Tears filled Sizhui's eyes, his hands coming to grip his friend's wrists. "No, no, please, don't... there has to be another way..."

Jingyi tried to keep the smile on his face and ignore the tears threatening to fall down his own face. "There is no other way. Not this time."

Sizhui pulled his friend into the tightest hug he could muster, shaking with the force of it and his sobs. Or perhaps they weren't only his own. They had imagined their lives so many times, the future twin jades of Lan, honoring their sect and their seniors for decades to come, growing up together, building families and worthy reputations, helping people.

All of those things, they would never come true. There would be no future and nothing to share. No together, nothing at all.

"Let go, A-Yuan. The talisman's going to burn out soon." Jingyi mumbled, trying to hide the shake in his voice as he spoke into his friend's shoulder.

"Just a little longer."

Jingyi swallowed the hard lump in his throat and gently pushed Sizhui away. "It's going to be okay. You don't have to look."

But there was no way Sizhui would be able to close his eyes, there was no way he would convince himself to be blind to his friend's - no, his brother's sacrifice. The least he could do was look, admire his bravery and his power and his love, and catch his body as it would fall, limp and lifeless, to the ground.

Jingyi took in a deep breath, his expression steely, determined. Sizhui could never imagine himself so courageously facing death, and he wants to scream his cowardice and his weakness and his sorry to the man that would give his life just to save Sizhui's.

Slowly, Jingyi began coaxing his qi outside of his body, thin, white streams of energy coiling around one another in front of his chest. His brows furrowed, in pain, but he said nothing, uttered nothing of his discomfort, only the thinnest ribbon of blood falling from his lips. He'd bitten his tongue.

The sphere started taking more shape now, tragically beautiful in its wielder's hands, and it was for a brief second that Jingyi turned his head and opened his eyes to take one last look towards Sizhui, a serene, resigned, painless smile on his face.

...and then, for a few seconds, blinding light swallowed everything, all the beasts, the forest, the array, the moon, the stars and the entire world. For a few seconds, there was nothing, nothing but the gut-wrenching scream Sizhui let out.

---

"The condition is that you can only use this technique if somebody you couldn't live without is in mortal danger."

---

The light died out, and the world returned to its muted, dark colors. There were no more corpses, no more monsters, no more wounds on Sizhui's body.

There was no more Jingyi.

Nothing was left.

Not even ashes, not even a shred of clothing, nothing at all.

---

"This technique... it destroys the spirit... there's nothing left after, no reincarnation, no chance to respond to Inquiry, nothing at all. It's like you never even existed, ever."

"But if you think about it... it's not something you use lightly. The condition says you can only use it for someone you can't live without. If they die, isn't that the same thing as having your soul destroyed?"

---

It started to rain.

Jingyi used to hate the rain.

[purgeturbia]

i've been working on something for... quite a while. i'm not ready to share the whole thing yet (read: it's not even close to being finished), but this part of it, while mostly unedited, can stand pretty well on its own, so have a little bit of smitten obi-wan. as a treat.

*eta bc i forgot the first time: ~2k, canon-typical mentions of death but nothing graphic, mostly fluff

the rest of the work is not like this.

-

XXXVII. START WARS AND BURN CITIES

When he and Cody and the 212th had liberated planets from the Separatists — although he muses, now, that they had not done much liberating at all, if the end result was the desolate fear-space the galaxy has become — there had often been more time spent cleaning up the aftermath of their battles than there had been actually fighting. The machine of war was not a tidy one, and Obi-Wan hated to leave innocent people in a worse state than he had found them. 

Often, during these pseudo-recovery times, he was excluded from the physical labor. Cody tended to push Obi-Wan off into the command tent to fill out the hundreds of forms that came with successful completion of a campaign, saying, “There are thousands of vod’e, sir, and only one of you,” but Obi-Wan saw it for what it really was — a chance (an order) to rest “for once in your kriffing life, General.”

Obi-Wan, after the first few campaigns, never argued. Crash would be on his ass for trying to help with cleanup anyway, and he did so despise being hauled to the medbay. 

Though his stack of requisition forms and reports to write and casualty lists was always far larger than he cared to admit, Obi-Wan was, despite his field ban, never one to sit idle in command after a battle. He would, instead, crank out as much flimsiwork as he could before his body began to ache with the stillness of it all, and then he would mingle with the troops. The shinies, especially, were emboldened by his presence among them. They were so young, even the veteran troopers, and anything he could do to ease the pain of a life defined by war was an obligation, even if it was just a kind word here or there. 

He was never content with the mental state of his men. Even after a decisive victory, or a battle with minimal casualties, or a skirmish with none at all, there was a sharp edge to their presences in the Force. Their hands shook ever so slightly and their smiles were never quite genuine and their eyes were constantly moving, observing, calculating. 

The war lived inside all of them, himself included. The thing was, though, that Obi-Wan had had those few glorious years, before Qui-Gon and Bandomeer and Melida/Daan and the rest of his life that had come crashing down around him and never stopped, where there was no war in his bones. 

His troops had been born with the war in them, and that was a pain he could not take away.

Even so, he would move through the camp like a fish through water, dropping hands to pauldrons and calling greetings across the expanse of tents. He would bring rations and fill canteens, and linger around medical looking for tasks until Crash told him to stop lurking and go bother somebody who would appreciate it. He’d always wiggled his eyebrows afterward, though, and told Obi-Wan very dramatically where Cody had gotten off to, so it was easy to see that he was never truly upset. Obi-Wan, in return, would blush about sixteen shades of red and very pointedly stalk off in the opposite direction of wherever Cody happened to be.

It was on one such occasion, on a forested planet Obi-Wan can no longer remember the name of, that he had turned away from Crash (and, he’d thought, Cody), only to stumble upon his commander preparing to direct half of Phantom Company through the process of removing a fallen tree that had crushed a house and blocked most of the packed-dirt road stretching through one of the little settlements they’d come planetside to defend. Obi-Wan could have moved the tree himself in a matter of seconds, but. Cody had told him to stay out of the cleanup, and one of his least favorite things in a time with many unpleasantries was upsetting Cody.

So he’d lingered on the outskirts, observing. Phantom acted, of course, as a well-oiled machine, and though fierce pride for his men bubbled up in his chest, Obi-Wan allowed himself a moment of indulgence. He leaned against a still-standing tree just behind the houses across the way from the crushed one, and watched Cody work. He was a study in professionalism, in genius, even when faced with a task so simple as moving debris. Cody burned with a focused intensity that matched the sunburst on his armor as he paced around the tree, and they had spent long enough nights hunched together over sims and holotables that Obi-Wan could easily guess the questions being mentally asked and answered in quick succession: how heavy is the trunk? How many troops do I need to lift it? If we apply more leverage here, will the house be more damaged or less? 

It struck Obi-Wan then that he had not had time for fanciful things like poetry since the war’s beginning — but then again, maybe he didn’t need it. Maybe it had been right in front of him all along.

It was in the midst of this realization that he was pulled out of his thoughts by a presence at his elbow. When he turned, it wasn’t a clone, as he’d been expecting, but one of the locals; a wizened old woman leaning on a painstakingly carved wooden cane. She was not looking at Obi-Wan, but at the troopers as they worked. She was looking at Cody.

She had spoken before Obi-Wan could. “Strange, isn’t it.”

He waited a beat, and then another. She was silent beside him. “That would depend on what it is, I suppose,” he said eventually.

She laughed, though it was more of a huff than anything. The indulgent sort of laugh that comes from a person who knows a joke has been made but who doesn’t really feel like laughing. “All of this. The war, the clones. The Jedi, leading them. You’re not meant for this, are you.”

It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t answer it. “You know,” he murmured, “you’re the first person … outside of all this, to notice that.”

She laughed again. It was no more sincere than the first time. “Am I really on the outside, Master Jedi?” she asked. “Are any of us?”

Obi-Wan knew she was right, so he merely inclined his head. Cody was positioning Phantom around the tree. It looked like his plan was to heave it up and over the houses and the road using applied leverage from the base, and dismantle it for lumber once its position was no longer an immediate problem. It was a good plan, very practical, very Cody, and Obi-Wan couldn’t quite keep a small smile from creeping across his face. 

He startled when the woman spoke again. “Is it worth it, then?”

Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed and he hummed, confused. To protect the innocent, of course the war was worth it. He wasn’t meant for it, none of the Jedi were, but he would fight it a thousand times over to save those who could not save themselves. Why would she ask him that? Why else would he be here?

He felt eyes on him, then, and turned to see the woman finally looking at him and not at his troops. Something in her face reminded him of Yoda, like she had lived a dozen of his lifetimes and known more than he could ever hope to learn. “Is it worth it,” she repeated, and continued, “for him.”

All of the breath left Obi-Wan’s body in a rush. He suddenly felt exposed, uncovered, though he was sure of his safety in the saber hung at his belt and his trusted men not forty meters away. Little gods. Two words was all it took to undo the great Negotiator. But he supposed nobody had ever come so close to his soul with two words before. He was, for the first time in a very, very long time, unsure of what to say.

“I —” he started, and stopped just as quickly, because he’d been about to defend himself, but there was no need to defend in a battle that was already over. He settled on, finally, “He is … very dear to me.”

“You would not have met him without this war.” Something in her voice was sharp, and he knew the words he spoke next would determine whether he passed a test she didn’t even know she was setting. “He would not even exist.”

He chose his response carefully. “No. But sometimes I think — perhaps it would have been a gift, for them, to never have lived at all.” He took a deep breath, steadying. “They have never known anything but war. They were bred for it, raised on it, and now they breathe it and eat it and it haunts their dreams. As much as the idea of it pains me, a galaxy without him in it, he would not exist without his brothers, and they would not exist without the war in their bones.” He turned back, toward Cody, who was helping lift the base of the tree, readying to swing it out away from the road. “How can that be worth it? The misery of millions for the happiness of one?”

The tree was suddenly standing again, propelled into the sky by Cody’s careful placement of force and the sheer brute strength of battle-hardened troopers. It wheeled above them for a moment, rotating, before crashing into the ground and sending up a cheer from the men. Obi-Wan was caught momentarily in the sunbeams of Cody’s victory smile, radiant, glorious, beautiful even from a distance. 

“You love him,” said the woman.

To hear the words out loud tore at something in him. He would never be able to say them himself, but he’d stopped denying the truth of them long ago. “Yes,” he said simply. “He deserves more than this, better than this. I would never wish this existence upon him, and in another life I would never claim this war to be worth it just so I might have the honor of —” the word loving stuck viscerally in his throat and he swallowed around it, “of knowing him again.”

Obi-Wan folded his arms tightly, wishing he had thought to bring his robes with him then, if only for something to do with his hands. Cody, having finished delegating the deconstruction of the tree, had spotted the odd pair and was heading over, bright with his success. 

The woman, looking at Cody and then back at Obi-Wan, huffed that strange not-laugh again. “If you win this war, Master Jedi, will it have been worth it?”

With Cody striding toward him, Obi-Wan was stuck between the sensations of a heart full to bursting with the pain of a love he could never truly have and the gut-punch realization that maybe, someday, he could. He barely managed to gasp out an “Oh, I —” before Cody was upon them, saying, “General, sir, I thought I told you to stay at camp,” but his smile betrayed him, and Obi-Wan found himself grinning back, breathless, and for a brief moment there was no war and no winning and no losing; there was only them, together, and the galaxy was theirs for the taking.

Now, the surface of Tatooine is dark and chilled. Wind whistles around the hut on the edge of the Dune Sea — a sandstorm will hit in the next few days, and in the morning they’ll need to start preparing. The memory of that woman comes back to him, unbidden, and he clings tighter to Cody, wrapped in his arms on Obi-Wan’s lumpy old bed. He thinks of Anakin, as much as it hurts to, and of the thousands of fallen Jedi, and of every clone forced to take the life of innocents, their bodies their own but not their minds. The war lost him everything, everyone, and everywhere he’s ever loved. But little gods. Cody is alive. He’s here, and safe, and they’re together again, his sunshine returned to him. Obi-Wan hates himself for it (hate leads to the dark — please, stop, please), but the worst parts of his soul are screaming it: maybe for this, this small salvation in the ruins, everything had been worth it after all.

[thefreakandthehair]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @steddieas-shegoes like, forever ago and I keep forgetting.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 42! most are steddie with some criminal minds fics from over ten years ago buried deep.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 252,271

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now, just stranger things! I've been toying around with writing destiel again but if I did, it'd be anonymous. (after my entire portfolio was wiped from livejournal, I'm still in pain about it.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. and if I get burned, at least we were electrified.  2. i made this mess with love.  3. what you feel is what you are (and what you are is beautiful)  4. the answers are all inside of this.  5. Livin' On A Prayer 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes! eventually! sometimes, it'll take me awhile because I just get backed up but I read them and smile and kick my feet, and even though it takes me a bit to reply, those comments are what keep me writing. <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? happy endings are guaranteed in this house, always. I'll never write an angsty ending-- canon hurts me enough. the most bittersweet ending though would have to be scar-crossed lovers. 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? oooo, that's tough because they're all happy endings! but I think over the hills and far away because, by virtue of it being a long fic, the happy ending feels deserved. those two went through it to get to that ending which made it so satisfying to write!

8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven't, no, and I'm very grateful for that. but I'm also like, super liberal with the block function. we cultivate our spaces here, friends!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do, but only in the context of like, what else is happening in the fic. I just can't write pwp lmao, major kudos to everyone else who does it so well! I'm in awe of your talent perpetually.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I wrote a supernatural/charmed crossover au many, many years ago. but recently? kicks cracky supernatural/stranger things crossover au scrivener wip under the couch. nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not in this fandom!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that I know of, but that'd be super cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? not yet... but I have some plans. keep an eye out next year. 👀

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? steddie broke something in my brain, but destiel laid the path for it be broken to start with.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? liturgies & devotionals, unfortunately. or at least in its current existence in scrivener? it's a big undertaking but if I can make it less complicated, maybe it stands a chance.

16. What are your writing strengths? not once have I been able to answer this and feel comfortable with it, but I do really enjoy the omniscent third person point of view and have gotten compliments on it. and narrative writing, I like setting the scene and developing introspection.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? there are several but god, fucking dialogue! it's my kryptonite. that, and actually ending a story. context disease is so real.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? the only other language I've ever used is a snippet of Klingon, but I'd also feel comfortable using bits of French because I know a good bit of French. anything else would just feel super inauthentic because idk what the fuck I'm saying.

19. First fandom you wrote for? uh, it was around 2001 and it was for a fandom that I no longer associate with.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? to the surprise of no one: over the hills and far away <333 so much of me is in that fic and it was hugely healing.

no pressure tags: @withacapitalp @stevethehairington @steves-strapcollection @henderdads @patchworkgargoyle @inairbinad @steddieasitgoes @starrystevie @judasofsuburbia @fragilecapric0rnn @kkpwnall @fastcardotmp3 @penny00dreadful @cranberrymoons @catknives @hbyrde36 @cuoredimuschio @wormdebut @wynnyfryd @sidekick-hero @t-boyeddie @scarcrossdlvrs + anyone else who hasn't been tagged and wants to participate!

[viatagrinner]

William Rex. Bond Stories 1-3.

Bond Story No1: I want to know.

William: Do you have a question for me? Of course, I'd be happy to answer. What do you want to ask?

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

1. About The Crown.

William: These are all fun guys, including the founder Victor. I'm sure you'll enjoy it too.

2. About the curse.

William: The word "curse" sounds exaggerated, but it's basically one of my building blocks. You can think of it the same way you think of carbon and oxygen.

3. About ability.

William: By looking a person in the eye and giving an order, I can move him or her as I command. Regardless of the other person's will.

William: Evil is the only word that describes this ability, isn't it?

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

William: But ever since you came to this castle... Robin only cares about what's in people's hearts.

William: I'm interested in your heart. What do you like, what makes you laugh, cry and get angry?

William: Oh, don't answer that. I like to enjoy the process of unraveling.

William: Also, the words are clear, but because of this they distort the truth.

William: ...I'm really looking forward to the moment when I see the real you.

Bond Story No2: Sharing a meal/Eat together.

William: Ahahaha ... Sorry, you look so annoyed looking at the grapes in front of you, I laugh at how adorable you are.

William: Politeness is important. The beauty of people lies in not hurting each other, changing the charm depending on the place and the person.

William: But tonight, it's just you and me at dinner. And I'd rather see your manners than the etiquette book.

William: You can use a fork or your dainty fingers. It would be fun if I fed you, though. What would you like to do?

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

1. I eat with a fork.

William: It's an elegant choice. Be careful when stabbing/piercing that the grapes don't slip away.

2. I eat with my hands.

William: I see. That might actually be the most sensible way to eat.

3. I would like you to feed me.

William: Excellent choice. Others can be done alone, but this one can only be done by two...... Sure, I'd love to.

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

William: I want you to be more liberated and honest around me.

William: No idea what kind of person, character, how you listen. What's good and what's bad?

William: The only way to know your own heart is to feel it. ....Right?

Bond Story No3: Hobby/Skills

William: Instead of hiding, come to me.

William: So you like my piano? Shy Robin.

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1. Applauding.

William: Hahaha! Thank you. That touched my heart more than any other words of praise.

2. It drew me in unintentionally.

William: That's an honor. Because I was playing to lure you out.

3. Please tell me more.

William: Of course, with pleasure. ....But it's never too late to have a little more fun interacting with the audience, is it?

━━━━━━━༻❀✿❀༺━━━━━━━

William: ....The song I just played was left by the composer to his lover, who asked him to throw it away without letting it out.

William: Her lover made this public, betraying his promise to the dead. I don't know his motive.

William: As a result, the music that should be buried disturbed your mind, awakened your desires, and lured you out into the dark night.

William: Was the act of a lover betraying a dead man and making that song known to the world a good or bad thing?...

William: Which one do you think it is?

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Ikevil Bond Story Masterlist

[bungoustraypups]

@daught3rsofcain i made a separate post for this, btw, to respect creantzy and (try to) keep any more unnecessary fighting off of their posts, however i feel this needs to be addressed given how it caused issues over on twitter and i wanna make my stance clear as well as make it clear that this kind of comment is unacceptable

tl;dr for anyone who doesn't wanna/can't/doesn't have time to read my whole rant/already agrees with me and doesn't need to be convinced on why you should shut the fuck up if you see fanart/fanfic/other fan shit you dislike or that mildly bothers you but is otherwise harming no one online: curate your online spaces, block liberally and without question, do whatever you need to do to be comfortable, but never demand that other people bend to your will just because you personally think something is disrespectful to you

i'm gonna keep it brief: don't say this shit on someone's art.

you might think it's disrespectful and "disgusting", but that doesn't actually make it so. i implore you to do a little googling into the history of romantic jesus depictions, because if you do, you'll quickly find that people have been doing this very thing for literal centuries.

yes, they had pushback even back then, as most artists who make any kind of art esp religious art often do no matter what they're depicting, but obviously the fact that people continuously do it and that most christians either don't give a fuck or at the very least ignore it and move on.

if you were truly so incensed upon seeing silly fanart of bsd fyodor dostoevsky and a very historically inaccurate depiction of jesus christ based off of leonardo da vinci's gay lover (yes, that is where this very popular depiction of jesus comes from, while there's some debate over who exactly was the muse as leo had a few gay lovers, most people agree the depictions of white or fair-skinned jesus today that are similar to the ones da vinci made are based off of someone he was in love with whether they were in a relationship officially yet or not) you simply could have blocked OP or the post or simply ignored it, and yet you chose instead to do this, which is why i bothered responding

people threatened creantzy on twitter and sent death threats to them over this, for much the same reason as you claim to have left this thoughtless, hurtful comment. even if creantzy doesn't care and can brush it off, which is a fair and valid response, the way people online feel entitled to force everyone they interact with to only produce material they personally agree with is childish, immature, cruel, entitled, and quite frankly, shitty behavior.

it would be one thing if this artwork depicted, for example, a marginalized religious figure, but considering Christianity is not just a major global religion, but is the current dominant global religion with approximately 2.4 billion followers worldwide, and most countries have no discriminatory laws against the practice of christianity or against christians themselves, when the same cannot be said for literally every other religion on the planet right now to varying degrees (if you live in the USA, for example, we may not explicitly forbid the practice of other religions, but hate crimes are rising, especially antisemitic and islamophobic hate crimes, and the perpetrators of those crimes are largely either atheists who were formerly christian, or current christians; and almost all of our major holidays are centered around christian religious holidays, even if the marketing no longer reflects this, that doesn't make it less true)...

basically you're causing a fuss over a non-issue. my grandma is very christian and thinks this art is pretty and even though she doesn't get it, has no real issue with it considering christians themselves have been doing this for... almost since christianity began, arguably. your opinions don't dictate what people should or shouldn't post online.

block, move on, and live your life. stop harassing artists.

[tabletofruination]

Ohhh, wonderful! It looks like I've got this thing working, finally.

I did tell you that reading up would prove helpful...

Yeah, I probably could've done that. But, well, here we are, partner! I'll go first on the introductions!

You guys can call me Juliana--or Juli, for short! I've been a student at Naranja Academy for a year and a half now--and it turns out you can do a lot in that time! I wound up accomplishing a lot! Champion, beater of Team Star, a-and other stuff... Though you'll find I'm waaay more interested in learning about history, nowadays. I think I've got all of Naranja's library read by now...alright, your turn, partner!

Really? Must I? ...I suppose I've little choice. My name is of no importance, but you may call me 'Green' if you wish to designate a name for me. As Miss Juliana has stated, I am something of a partner to her research into the legends of Paldea. It is a pleasure, I suppose.

We'll be talking a lot about our findings and hopefully posting a lot about what we can find--we're especially interested in finding out more about the Treasures of Ruin in this region, and finding out more about their history! But we're also down to battle! So feel free to talk to us!

HELLO welcome to another ~bad sable decision~, this time presenting: an AU Juliana who has been living rent free in my head for months! Time to pay-up and become an actual blog girliepop.

Anyway. As for how this Juliana is AU? It's very simple: girlie here got fused with Wo-Chien after shit went VERY decidedly awry during The Way Home. I'm going to hopefully reveal the details very slowly, but this Juliana is actually a little more villainous in nature, though in a very innocent sort of way. She's already freed Wo-Chien and I'm sure you can all figure out what's going to be the gimmick of this blog a bit. :3c

Some ground rules!

Juliana is a minor. If I see even a singular anon getting weird I will utilize the block button liberally, so don't be weird.

Juliana's circumstances are...I'll be honest, they're a fair amount darker because she did technically fail to stop the Paradise Protection Protocol herself and basically told her world's version of Nemona/Arven/Penny to run for their lives. And it haunts her. Oh does it haunt her. But while she technically lost, Wo-Chien basically won the rest of the fight and got Juliana out, though nobody is really aware of the whole. Fusion situation. As a result, some things have changed--particularly the Teal Mask, it plays out VERY differently here, and Juliana received no invitation to go to Blueberry as a result. And yes, she's basically kind of a villain now. :3c

Any description of the fusion and stuff will be kept minimal but uh. Just a general warning for body horror if you do decide to ask. Please do not fuck around and find out without proper prep. 🙏

More details of her canon circumstances will come out in time as she answers asks, and I ask simply for no godmodding! I may let some details slip OOC early but don't bring them up until I feel the time is right please!

Let me know if you're not okay with Juliana or Green interacting! Green is going to be keeping up a facade as a Totally Normal Human, but I imagine it's not going to take rocket science to figure out what Green is hiding. But I am treating canon like silly putty here, and Green will interact with people of their own accord. If you're not cool with that, let me know. Or if you want Green and not Juliana, or neither, just let me know!

Yes there are two Koraidon on the trainer card. Juliana does not fight with either of them despite Bitey basically being that one meme with the cat on the stairs going "FATHER I CRAVE VIOLENCE". And Buddy is basically still scared shitless of battle! So she basically only fights with three of her Pokemon, but she is pretty strong despite the handicap.

Juliana herself can tap into Wo-Chien's moveset. She absolutely HATES doing so, though. She pretty much only ever uses Protect in a panic, usually, but uh. I figured I'd bring that up in case anyone asked!

Pelipper Mail/Malice on, as is Musharna Mail/Malice! Please just fuck the girliepop up.

I. May also do some regular RP on here? I do not know how tumblr RP works but I have brainworms and want to RP the girl. If anyone wants to RP I guess hmu???

idk what else to put here. i'll think as i go??? but yes. this'll mostly be juliana's daily life stuff and expedition logging to try and find more stakes and more research!

[recreationaldivorce]

I'm not super familiar with lemmy and the broader fediverse, but where are some good places to start? Are there competing sub-lemmys (unsure what they're called) I'm only familiar with I think a piracy one (lol) but id love to learn more and start using it more, especially given this update. thanks! <3

apologies if you already know all this & this is patronising, just explaining the basics in case that needs to be established:

so you know how emails work where i can be eg revolutionarysuicide@tumblr.com and i can email billgates@microsoft.com just as easily as i could email joshawatt11@tumblr.com, even though billgates is on a different domain to me whereas you're on the same domain? the fediverse works the same way. in the same way that it's not a huge deal what email provider you sign up with bc you can still send and receive emails to/from anyone, it's not a huge deal what lemmy instance you sign up with because you can still subscribe to and participate in any community. to use reddit as a familiar comparator, if you were joshawatt11@otherreddit.com you could still post to r/askreddit@reddit.com as though you had a reddit account.

the points at which lemmy instance would matter is that each lemmy instance is run by its hosts, who may set their own rules on those instances. eg a left-wing political instance wouldn't allow conservatives to sign up and would ban right-wingers from their instance. so if someone were a fascist they could be banned from an entire left-wing instance, including all the communities in that instance.

another way that they matter is that you can "defederate" where you ban an entire instance, eg some pretty liberal instances like to talk about defederating with some of the more commie instances so that people from those instances can't interact with anything on the liberal instance, and vice versa. like in the above example, if tumblr.com and microsoft.com defederated then revolutionarysuicide@tumblr.com and billgates@microsoft.com couldn't email each other because tumblr.com and microsoft.com have blocked each other basically.

you can also host your own lemmy instance—with the email example that's like registering your own domain and you could just use that domain for your own email address and nothing else, or alternatively you could decide to let your friends use that domain for their email addresses too, or you could decide to host an email service on that domain allowing anyone to sign up for an email at that domain.

you can browse some of the instances here. some of them are very general instances, some of them may be instances centred around a particular interest/hobby, a particular political viewpoint, a particular common identity eg lgbt instances, and so on. like i said above i dont think it particularly matters so long as you join a generally non-offensive instance that other instances won't have blocked and you wouldn't get banned from.

i really dunno in-depth about many lemmy instances & tbh i rarely look at what instance someone is posting from so i wouldn't notice those kinds of patterns, but off the top of my head i can think of:

lemmy.ml, the original lemmy instance run by the lemmy devs. the lemmy devs are communists so they're chill. politics seem to be generally left-leaning, like from reddit-style socdems to actual communists is the range i've seen on there.

hexbear, an explicitly "leftist" instance. politics seem to be similar to that of left tumblr, so take that how you will...

lemmygrad, ml instance

obviously those are listed by politics but if you wanna pick an instance based on interests or something that's fine too, literally just read the rules and see if you agree and have a look at their front page to see what kind of posts & communities are on that instance. if you like the vibes sign up. you can always sign up for a different instance if you get banned or if you don't like the one you signed up for