#I'm just waiting for someone to tell me one of these GoT tracks has terrible associations

[steddieas-shegoes]

fairy porn crisis

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'bookstore au' wc: 964 rated m cw: dirty talk, implied sexual content tags: bookshop owner eddie, steve is having a sexuality crisis but subtly, flirting, getting together, modern au

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"Thanks for covering for me, Wayne," Eddie said as he set his bag down behind the front desk, slightly out of breath from running from the bus. "Won't happen again."

"'S alright, son. Everything go okay with the counselor?" Wayne sipped from his mug, probably his fourth or fifth cup of coffee since he opened the shop that morning.

"Yep. Still on track to graduate in May."

Wayne's stipulation when he "sold" the bookshop to Eddie was that he still get his degree as backup. "Bookselling is a dangerous game and I won't have ya strugglin' if somethin' fails."

"Thatta boy," Wayne clapped him on the shoulder. "Been a slow morning. But your favorite customer is in the back."

Eddie felt his face heat up.

"He's not my favorite."

"Sure he isn't." Wayne rolled his eyes. "I'm off to get a beer with Dave. Call if you need me."

Eddie gave him a thumbs up as he checked over his emails, the one thing Wayne was terrible about doing when he was covering the store. There weren't many, never really were on Tuesdays.

He waited for Wayne to leave, the door chiming with his exit.

He jumped up and made his way around the counter, walking towards the back room hastily.

He found Steve sitting on the beanbag placed in the corner, book in his lap, face bright red.

Eddie squinted until he could see what book he was reading and nearly passed out.

His Ring was the first book in a series focused entirely on a group of queer mythical creatures. It was the only book of the series Eddie had read, and he'd only admit it under risk of death.

It wasn't that it wasn't good. It's just that it was basically porn.

And this one in particular focused on two male fairies, one who was gay and one who spent the entire first half of the book having a bisexuality crisis.

Steve was reading it with the prettiest blush on his face.

Steve, who up until this moment, passed as the straightest human being Eddie had ever met.

"Have you gotten to the part where Ereldi has to sit on Brelend's lap for an entire dinner?" Eddie asked.

Steve jumped and slammed the book closed, pushing it under his legs as if Eddie hadn't already called him out. "What are you talking about?"

"Stevie, I'm the last person to judge your reading habits. But I do have to ask why the sudden interest in queer fairy porn? You're usually reading sports memoirs and doing word searches."

In other words, 'are you interested in testing out your sexuality with me? I can pretend to be a mythical being if needed.'

"Just needed a change of scenery?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

Steve's blush deepened, and fuck, Eddie was about to be so unprofessional. Hopefully he wouldn't lose a customer over it, but it was a risk he had to take.

It's just that sometimes Eddie could swear Steve was watching him while he shelved books or swept the front room floors. And sometimes he caught him staring at him during his weekly storytime for kids where he gave out free books and cookies.

And Eddie always wanted to have Steve in his lap.

So.

"I." Steve refused to make eye contact, a sure sign that something was going on. "I just got curious. Heard someone talking about it and wanted to see if they were telling the truth."

"And were they?"

Steve didn't answer, so Eddie decided it was now or never.

"You know," he took a few steps closer to Steve. "I'm not usually one for those books. But there's something about the way they paint a very clear picture of how Ereldi rides Brelend in the forest that just draws me in." Another few steps. "Actually, Ereldi reminds me a bit of you."

Steve visibly gulped.

"But you wouldn't be interested in riding someone would you, Stevie? Prefer women to hop onto your lap and go for a ride?" Eddie's heart was racing.

And then it stopped completely when Steve gave the most unexpected answer he could have possibly given.

"I'd be interested in riding you."

Steve's wide eyes stared back at Eddie, daring him to make a joke, daring him to laugh.

Eddie wouldn't joke or laugh about this. He wasn't wasting this chance.

"Is the forest a requirement or could I go lock the front door and take you upstairs?"

Okay, so he couldn't not make a little joke.

"Forest sounds messy. Upstairs."

"Oh, I plan to make a mess of you regardless of location, sweetheart," Eddie leaned over Steve, foreheads touching, smirk growing as Steve's eyes closed. "Won't even have to get you hard, huh? The book did all the work for me."

Steve tilted his head back, lips puckering, searching for contact from Eddie's.

Eddie pulled away. "I close up in ten. You know the way upstairs?"

Steve's eyes blinked open as he nodded.

God, he was gonna be fun.

"You wanna be a good boy and wait for me up there?" Steve nodded and stood from the chair, wobbling slightly as he tried to gain his balance. "I want you naked in bed when I get up there, got it?"

"Um, I've never-" Steve started.

"Oh, sweetheart. I know. It's written all over you. I'm gonna take real good care of you, though. Better than anything you would read in that book."

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, sugar?"

"I really like you."

Eddie heard what he wasn't saying, knew without a doubt that he had to do this right or risk scaring him away from more than just the store.

"I really like you, too, Stevie." Eddie kissed his cheek. "You're in good hands."

"I know."

[xxsycamore]

@venulus HA! YOU THOUGHT! I bet you received the previous notification and thought it was all over!!! Guess who impulsively came up with the perfect little idea for an additional ficlet and just HAD TO make it a thing >:) is this how it feels to be Clavis's accomplice? Well, you know it better than me~ Happy Birthday once again, hope you enjoy <3

[🥺] 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐…

CLAVIS:

"Is something wrong, little bunny? You've been terribly tense all this time."

Clavis's words snap you out of your thoughts, but you don't allow yourself to relax just yet. That's precisely what he wants! To make you lower your guard so he can surprise you when you least expect it. For the longest time, or rather ever since you started dating this talented, handsome, scheming, charming, strange, beautiful creature that is your Clavis, your birthdays have been just that. One surprise after another.

And yes, this is the point, yes this is exactly what someone would want for their lover, to catch them by surprise with a loving gesture - but you can't help the side of you who craves the ultimate proof of love. Namely, knowing him well enough to predict exactly what he's got planned for you.

So every step you take, you stop in your tracks with exclamation. Aha, when you step on this tile, you'll activate some kind of mechanism that will launch a confetti attack! But it never comes.

"You're puzzling me, my darling. Let's get you to the balcony for some fresh air, shall we?"

The balcony?! Where Cyran and the others are waiting to recite an ode of love that yours truly wrote for you, finishing it off with artillery fire for maximum emotional impact?! You shake your head enthusiastically, telling him you want to eat some cake now. Clavis smiles and nods, guiding you by the shoulders to the table he decorated.

As his beautiful gloved hand removes the big cloche to uncover the cake, you've already taken a step back in caution. Who knows what will jump out from the cake - if Clavis wasn't right there where you can clearly see him, you'd think it would be him that jumps out from the cake.

It's a normal cake though. Wait, it's a normal cake??

"Believe it or not my bunny, it is I who baked you this cake. As you can see, there's nothing funny about it - not on the outside, not on the inside. It was extremely hard for me, and I must admit, I had helpers, but at last, the result is here for your eyes to see. Happy Birthday."

As your knife goes in, you're almost expecting for the cake to crumple down as a mass of purple goop oozes out of it, but it never happens. You even bring the forked bite to your mouth, chew on it, gulp it down - and the only thing out of the ordinary is just how amazing it is.

"Is it any good? It might be written all over my face now but, uh, I... I'm quite nervous, haha."

You feel like crying, so you just throw yourself on Clavis' neck, thanking him a hundred times and apologizing that you doubted him some more than that. Amidst it all, you also make sure to tell him how absolutely cute he is.

Clavis grins widely despite how obviously embarrassed your comment got him.

Little do you know, this only served to successfully lower your guard.

∎ (REQUESTS CLOSED) Steal My Heart!! - xxsycamore’s 1500 followers celebration event | 💌 event masterlist

[jhoneybees]

hii! can i request 70s!elvis x reader where elvis fucks up and reader leaves him, but they make up at the end? thank you!!

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry for making you wait for SO long!! I love this idea and got @elvisalltheway101 to help me with this one!! A lot of the credits go to her!🫶

Sorry

Characters: early!70sElvis X Wife!reader

Warnings/triggers: argument, leaving someone, crying

_____________________________________________

It is known that Elvis’ career is slowly… going down the toilet, and as a loving wife, it upsets you as much it upsets him but you’ve only just found out about the news half an hour ago during a sit down with wine from Sonny when he was sloshed out of his mind which you thought was his drunk brain making it up until you turned to ask Elvis, seeing his eyes looking away with a hint of insecurity.

“Why didn’t you tell me, this is happening?” you ask as you toss the headband you were wearing onto the shared bed. Running a hand through your hair as you turn your back to watch Elvis plunge down onto the sunken couch, lazily reaching forward for the TV remote.

Elvis lets out a sigh “It’s not as bad as you think it is, Honey” his words coming out in a mutter.

You frown at his response, scoffing as you walk closer “Not as bad as I think?” stopping in your tracks behind the couch, crossing your arms as you give Elvis a stern look.

“Elvis, you know I’m willing to help..I want to help-”

“I-I don’t wanna worry your pretty little head”

He responds quietly with a small deceivingly enthusiastic smile. Some part of those words are true, he really does appreciate your unconditional help but he thinks that he can handle it himself, his eyebrows lift as he offers his hand for you to hold so you could sink onto the couch with him and cuddle, truthfully wanting to drop the subject, only for him to earn a quirk of an eyebrow from you.

You sigh quietly as you close your eyes for a moment “I’ve helped you with so many things during our 4 years of marriage, Elvis” hearing a muffled thump of his offering hand fall onto the decorative cushions and a small groan, you open your eyes to see him pinching the bridge of his nose.

His voice low, growing more firm “Let’s talk bout somethin’ else, alright?”

You scoff again “This is your career we’re talking about!” you lift your arms in the air, reminding him of what he has worked so hard for “You’ve worked so hard to get all these things you want, the house, the guns, the jewellery, the cars, the fans, you bought your Mama a pink cadillac when you were starting out for God Sake and you’re just letting all of it go down the dra-”

“Enough, Y/n” he warns, rubbing his face with his hands still keeping his eyes trained on the TV.

“It’s-”

“SHUT UP, I’M TRYING MY GODDAMN BEST AND I DON’T NEED YOUR F*CKIN’ HELP”

You flinch terribly and quickly take a few steps back, your frightened filled eyes seeing a sight of Elvis that you have never seen before and a sight that he swore on his own damn grave to not ever show you.

His chest heavily rises and falls as his finger points at you, his face softening as he closes his eyes while dropping his arm to his side. Looking down at the floor as he takes a deep breath “Honey-”

“I’ll pack my things and go then” your voice shaky and weak, breathing in as you turn on your heel. Closing your eyes as you feel his warm hand wrap around your wrist, holding it tightly.

“H-honey, I-I’m sorry, w-w-we can talk this out baby” the sudden frantic tone in his voice pulls at your heartstrings, you know he didn’t mean what he said but it’s best to just let him have his own space to think.

“Let me go…” you say weakly, pulling your wrist out of his grasp as you walk up towards the shared bed, grabbing a suitcase out from the closet in the bathroom to lift it onto the mattress. Brushing Elvis’ hands away from yours “Don’t touch me” tears stinging your eyes.

“Please baby, I-I appreciate your help so much, so much baby- please” his eyebrows furrowing as you throw clothes into the suitcase. Hearing the slightest whimper from his lips as his hands find their way around your waist “Sweetie-”

Pushing his hands away for the last time before buckling the suitcase up, gripping the handle tightly you walk to the door. Opening it with a bit of force, your blurry vision looking back at the dark figure of Elvis following after you “Y/n please…d-don’t go”

You inhale sharply, taking a step forward to place a kiss on his cheek. Your hand applies pressure to his chest as he tries to take the suitcase from your hand “Don’t go, w-we can talk about this” Looking from one eye to the other, you see that fear in his eyes.

“..Bye..Elvis” you whisper.

You know he’s frustrated and stressed and you really can’t comprehend how big the pressure Elvis must be feeling, yes you don’t have to know everything but you get worried.

Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed on the topic.

“Hey Y/n, should I wear red or pink lipstick?” You look over your shoulder, a soft smile on your face as you see your friend holding a lipstick in each hand, You’ve been staying at her house ever since the argument happened, after she asked you how things are going over the phone just expecting a pleasant conversation with you. She was devastated to hear the news and offered to pay for a plane ticket back to Memphis and host you at her house which you reluctantly accepted.

“I think pink would look better” you reply, closing the magazine you were reading and leaving it on the coffee table. Your friend hums “Hm, I thought so too..” lowering her hands as she walks back into the other room.

You sigh quietly, turning your head back down at the magazine you were skimming through. As you skip through a few pages, there’s a knock. A desperate one, it sounds. When your friend raises a brow and glances back at your seat on the couch, “expecting someone?” She asks. You share the same confusion and shake your head. “Oh maybe it’s the make-up set from Europe I told you about! It’s supposed to arrive this week.” She smiles widely while skipping to the front door.

you hear dead silence and feel disappointment in the air. Since being in another room, you don’t know who it is or what it is. “It’s definitely not the European make-up set.” She calls out, and you can just see the unacceptable frown on her face.

“w-who is it?” You say out softly but you already know in your gut who it might be. You hear a scoff and just know there was an eye roll with it, “it’s no one, especially someone not wanted.” she says out, her upper lip curled in attitude as she glares across the man at her doorstep.

Starting to get irritated from being in the unknown, you brush off the chips from your lap and walk among the creaky floorboards to where she is. Your eyes widen at the human being that’s presented.

Of course you expected Elvis, but not in this condition. Standing straight and tense, breathing heavily as he smacks his lips and looks around. He looks exhausted, absolutely exhausted. Gray circles forming from the worry and lonesome upon his tawny flesh that rests tiredly under his eyes. Oh his blue eyes, a gray cloud in those pupils, the pretty sky blue eyes that would mimic the bright, shining and welcoming sun. But now showing a perfect impression of a cloudy day with the sky’s cries of rain. He looks so out of it. Out of himself….all because you were gone for such little time?

His weary eyes then connect to yours and you gasp softly, able to feel the immense pressure on his shoulders from the fear that you were lost. The thought of losing the only person that mattered to him mostly.

“Oh Y/n!” Your name comes out his lips like a prayer of great thanks, and before you know it, you’re being completely engulfed in his arms.

“A-ah’ve been so worried. So goddamned worried about you, A-ah had been searching for you. A-asking every goddamn store in Memphis!” His soft arms squeeze around your shoulders tight, almost as if you’ll wash away from existence and beneath his eyes if he even lets go for air. His faint spicy, floral cologne surrounds and you inhale to your lungs as you flutter your eyes closed.

“I’m so sorry, baby. S-s-so sorry. Hell, I’d get a whopping if my mama caught me talk atcha like that. I’m so sorry y/n. I’ll plead with all my existence, a-all my life I’ll make it up to ya.” He whispers so desperately, and hugs you tighter to his chest.

Your eyebrows furrow and you slowly lift your arms to rub his back gently, letting out a breath you feel like you've been holding onto the entire week, your back sensing your friend has left the room, sick of the love fest but glad you have both made it up and no one’s gonna get hurt.

You smile gently and connect with his eyes once again with a soft smile, “it’s okay Presley,” you giggle softly and you can feel the radiating warmth of relief and love in his eyes.

He heaves out a breath with that shy crooked grin “You're the most important, Honey. I-I don't know what I was thinkin” his slightly shaky hands cupping the sides of your face.

Your smile softens as you do the same, wiping your thumbs near his eyes, seeing the gray skin under his eyes “Elvis…” his calloused hands careful to hold your wrists, he leans into your touch.

“Jesus… I thought I lost you”

[calypsocolada]

BEGIN AGAIN | nanami

(this is part two! click here for part one)

synopsis: nanami ruined his wedding for you, now's he just waiting for your call. authors note: as peoples princess brittany broski once said, 'i need him in a way thats concerning to feminism'. enjoy :) cw: cussing, angst, wingman!gojo, making out, fluff wc: 2.4k

--------------------------------------------------------

You sink into your seat at the bar, fingers around a cold glass, the condensation dripping onto your hand. This was your third drink of the night, and you were aiming for a lot more. There were things you were wanting to shove down and forget, if only for the night. But the night was young, the sun hadn’t even begun to set yet, still golden in the sky. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and before you even dared to look at it you took a gulp of your drink. Let it ring and ring before you breathed in and pulled your phone towards your face. Gojo’s contact filled up on the screen. Not exactly who you were wanting to hear from but you answered nevertheless. 

“Don’t start.” You said immediately into the speaker. You heard Gojo laugh, it sounded like more of a scoff to you though. 

“Shouldn’t have even picked up then.” He joked. You grabbed your drink in preparation for this conversation.

“I texted him, alright.” You sighed out.

“You texted him? Texted. Come on, Y/n. He’s practically in his fifties, he’s not gonna read your text.” Gojo said as you rolled your eyes hard enough to give yourself a headache. 

“He read it.”

“And didn’t respond?” Gojo asked. You were quiet. 

“I shouldn’t have even texted him. I should’ve just, ya know, let things go. You’re a terrible influence.” You sighed, gulping down the rest of your drink. Gojo laughed this time, like what you said should’ve been obvious. And it was, but when it came to someone you loved you did stupid things. You always did stupid things. 

“What did you text?”

“I’m not gossiping with you, Gojo, I’m trying to enjoy my night.”

“Where are you?”

“No, I don’t want company.”

“Okayyyy. What did you text him then?” Gojo asked exasperatedly. You sighed heavily, pulling up the text even though you had reread it over and over and over again for the past few hours.

“I said, ‘I know you probably don’t want to hear this from me but Gojo told me you were getting married. I'm happy for you. Congratulations!’.” There was a silence over the phone that made your patience run thin. “Well?”

“I told you he was getting married so you could stop the whole thing, not congratulate him.” Gojo finally replied as you sucked in a breath. 

“I’m not a homewrecker, Satoru.”

“He’s not happy.”

“Has he ever been?”

“Yes! With you!” Gojo argues as you let your head fall against your hand as you rub your temples. This conversation was having the very same effect you had been trying to avoid all day. The inevitability of your past being trudged up. You heard Gojo sigh over the phone. “I don’t want to force you into doing something you don’t want to do, Y/n. I never got the chance to tell someone that I loved them and I never will. I don’t want that for you.” You closed your eyes. Now you just felt selfish, like a kid crying over something trivial. 

“You just had to go there.” You said, pulling out your card to pay for the drinks, any hopes of forgetting and moving on seemed to be stopped in their tracks. 

“Nanami would be content in never being happy again if he thought it was in your best interest.” Gojo says, his words cutting you right to the bone. You pushed from your seat and walked towards the entrance when you saw the white haired man sitting at a table just outside. He gave you a wave as you rolled your eyes, walking out to him. 

“Are you stalking me now?” You asked as Gojo patted the chair next to him with his hand. Reluctantly you sat, slouching slightly. 

“You have terrible awareness by the way.”

“Shut up.” You snap, not actually angry. Gojo leans back, crossing his legs as he looks over at you. 

“Are you okay?” He asks as you sigh heavily. 

“I just want to go home and not have to think about Nanami.” You say and part of you really meant it. You’d been thinking of him since the day you left him. Wondering if you made the right choice. You two were young but you’d never felt anything close to what he made you feel and that scared you. 

“Let’s not talk about it then.”

“Gojo, come on, you came all the way out here to play wingman for your friend.” 

“You and I used to be friends too.” He points out. You two used to be very close back when you and Nanami were together. You missed that probably just as much as you missed Nanami. 

“You’re too cool for me now.” You say and Gojo tilts his head back in laughter. 

“Yeah, right.” He laughs. You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and when you pull it out your heart drops right out of your chest. Gojo reads your expression with ease. “Answer it.” He says as you place your phone down on the table, shaking your head. Gojo sighs, looking at you with his striking eyes. “What’s wrong?” He asks as you swallow, turning to look away from him.

“I already feel like shit for texting him, Satoru. He’s moved on. He’s getting married for christ sake.” At that statement Gojo laughs with his full chest. 

“He will never move on and neither will you. You both are stubborn and prideful.” He says as you turn to look at him. 

“This is why we’re not friends anymore.” You say as Gojo smiles, slinging an arm around your shoulders. Your phone buzzes one last time and you know it’s because Nanami has left you a voicemail. You push Gojo away and grab your phone, standing up from your chair. Sure enough there’s a single missed call and voicemail from Nanami. You swallow, your throat dry as you pull the phone up to your ear. 

“I wanna hear!” Gojo jests as you flip him off. You hear Nanami’s voice, his tone raspy and almost desperate as he speaks. 

“I don’t know if you're asleep or not. I know our time zones are different. I just-- I wanted to talk to you. I don’t want to say what I have to say over the phone but I need you to know. I still love you. I’m not ever going to stop. I ruined my wedding, I ruined everything. Just,” He pauses and you can almost hear your own heartbeat. “Please call me back.”

Nanami grips the steering wheel, a car honking behind him. He hadn’t noticed when the light turned green. He pressed his foot on the gas. Nothing felt real, he kept getting lost in times that he wished he’d know again. Times where you were there. He wasn’t far from home and as he kept driving his eyes would dart to his phone, he wanted nothing more in this world than for your contact to pop up on his phone. But it was too late. He’d fucked it all up. You were happy he moved on, you’d told him that and still foolishly he imploded the entire day. 

A chance with you was worth it. You were always worth it.

Happiness was fleeting for him. Before he met you he was just going through the motions. You taught him things, taught him to try and enjoy life. The simple things. That working to the grave wasn’t his only option. But he wanted to provide for you, wanted you to never have to worry about anything and when he set his mind to something sometimes he got lost in it. He lost you. He tried to replace you, to fill the hole that you carved in him but nothing fit. Nanami just felt like shit, for finding someone and almost marrying them when he should’ve just been alone. He should just be alone. 

“Nanami?” He hadn’t even noticed when he left his car, until he was walking up to his front porch where you sat. Nanami startled slightly, stumbling back a step. He couldn’t believe his eyes. You, with your doe eyes and pink lip, looking at him in a way that twisted his stomach. 

“Y/n… What- what’re you doing here?” He asked. He took in the sight of you, your tousled hair looked at though you ran your hands through it a few times. You waved your phone at him.

“I got your message.” You said simply. Nanami swallowed. He wanted to play Mr. Cool Guy but he couldn’t fucking form a single coherent thought right now. The last time he saw you was when you were packing your things to leave him. Nanami reached up, loosening the tie around his neck, sighing. 

“I’m sorry, did it ruin your night?” He asked, he watched your eyes, how they took in the sight of him in a suit. The suit he was supposed to be married in. 

“Did my text ruin yours?” You asked. Nanami scoffed, amusement on his lips.

“Yes.” He said as your brows shot up slightly. 

“I wanted to be supportive.” You say, throat dry. Nanami looked entirely too handsome right now. He was always handsome but something about him in a suit, hair a mess, tie loosened was doing something to your insides. 

“I didn’t want your support.” He said, walking forwards slightly. You wondered if you’d misheard his voicemail, if he was angry at you for the text. You sighed. 

“You can thank Gojo then, he’s been badgering me all week.” You say as Nanami smirks. 

“You too?” He asks as you laugh slightly. The tension easing just a bit. You swallowed, looking up at him.

“Did you really call off your wedding?” You ask. His eyes meet yours, the air turns electric. He nods his head. You couldn’t imagine what shit show he’d just caused. The poor girl he left at the altar. “Jesus.” You say simply. It really only took one text to change the course of his entire life. 

“Did you mean what you said in the text? Were you happy for me?” He asks as you swallow. 

“Yes and no.” You say. Nanami takes another step forwards, sliding to sit next to you on the porch. You turn to face him, his striking eyes and sharp lines. He looked tired, exhausted even. He reached into the space between you, tucking your hair out of your face. You leaned into that touch, after all you craved it for years.

“I love you.” Nanami says softly, letting it linger in the air. Your heart skips, you suck in a breath. “I’ve loved you since that first night.” 

That first night. When you met Nanami you were a mess. You’d been in a shitty on and off relationship with a boy back home. You were waitressing at some diner in the city. You’d just come off your break where the boy you thought you loved told you he wanted to take some more time apart. You had mascara all down your cheeks and when you went to take Nanami’s order he was kind and attentive. He told you that loving someone shouldn’t be this hard, it shouldn’t leave you in such turmoil. You took that to heart because he was right. Loving isn't all easy but it's worth it when it's right. Nanami left you with an extremely generous tip. You thought you wouldn’t see him again but a day or so passed and he was back. He wanted to check in on you. You asked him to get lunch with you on your break and that was that. You ended up kissing him by the end of the day because the moment he checked in on you, someone who was practically a stranger you had fallen for him. Loving Nanami was easy, then it wasn’t, and now you weren’t sure which it would fall under, but you knew you still loved him.  

“I was a mess.” You say affectionately as Nanami’s mouth quirks in a smirk, his eyes looking from yours to your lips, lingering there. 

“So am I.” He whispers in the space between you two. Desire feels like a kick to the stomach, his voice raspy and wanting.

"We did a lot of wrong back then." You said. Nanami shook his head.

"I did. Not you."

"Nanami, it's not all on you." You start but he kissed you quick.

"I appreciate your apology but I don't accept it. You tried to make it work, you made time when I didn't. I was the asshole, I know that." He says, thumb rubbing against your cheek. "I want you, desperately. I want to make this work, I want to make time." He lists off. You swallowed, fingers gripping the porch so as to not yank Nanami against your lips. But the famine settled for Nanami, the desire for more now that you're here right in front of him. In the flesh. His eyes flick to yours. He couldn’t afford to look at you for this long, as it was entirely difficult to look away once he started. He watched your throat bob. There was so much to unpack, so much to say but there was a universal way to make things known. "Let me show you how much I want this." He breathes out against your lips. 

Nanami’s fingers slide into your hair as he brings you against him, taking your lips with his own. A thunderstorm erupted at the action. Your hands grip the front of his dress shirt as you move your lips in time with his. Kissing him felt so natural, like sliding into a comfortable routine. Like no time had passed. Nanami pulls away and sweeps you to your feet, kissing you passionately as he pushes you back against his front door, body caging over yours. You gasp into his mouth, the desire mingling with want making you sick with love. You could talk in the morning. There was always morning. You're not sure when Nanami got the door unlocked but you're dragging him inside as his hand pulls you by the chin, lips enveloping yours as you stumble inside. Things crash in the wake of you and Nanami’s hurricane. Your breaths heavy, practically panting into each other's mouths as he pulls you on top of him on the stairs. His hands travel to your hips, digging into the skin there as your fingers slide up under his shirt. He shivers against your cold fingers. He picked you up then, a startled giggle erupting from your lips as he kissed you quiet, hauling you off to his bedroom. You’d thank Gojo in the morning, his meddling finally did some good. 

Nanami pressed you into the soft comforter on his bed, caging your body with his own. He pushed your legs apart with his knee and peppered kisses over your cheek to your jaw and down to your neck. You breath hitched as his trailed his lips back up to your own. You closed your eyes as flashes of Nanami standing on the altar assaulted your thoughts. You hadn't noticed your jealously until now. Wondering what world of hurt you were in for if he had gone through with it. You wrapped your hands around the back of his neck and brought him as close as possible. If you had it your way Nanami would only get married once in his life, and it would be to you.

--------------------------------------------------------

tags: @vlbi

[digenerate-trash]

hey its the anon who had the scenario i wanted to ask about. Ok so what if PC managed to skip town. Like ok let me break it down. PC when they got this deal was at the police station for their crimes and was about to be sent to prison and they were just thinking about how their life managed to lead up to this point. And they start crying you know cause they didnt want to steal but they had to to get enough money for robin and themself. And now because of Baileys stupid demands they are now being sent to prison for their crimes. But then the guard opened up their waiting cell thing and this woman came in offering a job. One that according to her needed the expertise of someone like them. When PC asks if the job includes them being a criminal the woman just laughs and says the job isnt anything like that. Its a job that helps people. Helps people that are in the sex trafficking ring get out and live life again. And that they needed someone that is good at gettibg away wihtout leaving evidence and has fighting skills in them. The woman offers PC a place to live as well and a ticket to leave this town should they choose to accept. So of course PC accepts it.

Now the thing is PC doesnt tell anyone this. Not even Robin and especially not Bailey. They know Bailey wouldnt want to let go of his best moneymaker and it would just break poor Robins heart if PC told him they were skipping town. So they simply plan to escape the orphanage duribg midnight and meet the woman at pub street at the train station. The only people that knows PC would be leaving is Jordan and Leighton. Jordan because PC is a temple initiate so of course they have to tell him should they be leaving town permanently. Leighton so he could write in his records that PC would be transferribg to another school. 

And the plan succeeds. PC managed to successfully escape town without any of the yanderes foiling their plan! So how do the YAN DOL cast react? I know the School Li would know of this from their teachers telling them PC transferred. Who would find out first besides the people I have already mentioned? Would they try to get to PC or just wait in Rapechester?

Wow ok so that was a doozy. Would love to see your thoughts on this tho! Take care of yourself and have a nice day.

(I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to take this long promie. I was out of it and everything got away from me)

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Whitney 

Absolutely ruined, he's got no clue why you'd leave him high and dry like this especially after he claimed you as his. He's not having a good time and he's fucking sick of not having you around anymore. As soon as school is over he's hunting you down with nothing but brass knuckles and spite. 

You escaped and that's not how things work around here. You should know that. He's made sure to drill it into your thick skull and yet you left without so much as a goodbye. He's tracking you down and dragging you home. Not to the orphanage. You are staying with him. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Robin

He absolutely can't handle it himself he's crying every day and can't eat or sleep or handle himself at all. He calls around he can't find you. He wants things to work out but he can't see it happening. Robin is trying his best to keep it together but he becomes a terrible shut-in. would probably die in the orphanage alone. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Kylar

Coming after you no exceptions. He's looking through everything he's going through hospital records school records he's digging through baileys stuff and intimidating students. The man is hysterical and panicking. He packs up a bag and promises his parents he'll be back soon before he hits the road. When he does finally track you down he's so happy to see you he's crying. You haven't changed a bit! That's what hell insists on before he knocks you out and drags you back to his home. Youre never getting out of the basement now. (he took your legs)

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Sydney

Pure Sydney is regretfully relieved. Though sad. You were too tempting. You were a lot to handle and he's thankful that youre no longer distracting him and causing issues but he misses you. And he waits for you to come back. He plans on marrying you still. 

Corrupt Sydney is a bit worse. He bothers people in town about where they think you went he causes problems he tries to track you down but doesn't get very far. He's sent back to therapy by Sirris… 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Eden

Let's be fair. You never escaped Eden. He's on high alert all the time. Even if you did manage to get away from his grasp he found you first and dragged you to the cabin. He keeps you held down and in the cage every time you mention leaving. He's not great with letting things go. And he's even worse when you mention needing space. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Avery

Avery thinks this is fine. And it is fine. Youre just an aid date after all he can always get another one. But it still bothers him. Thinking yore out there somewhere. Indulging someone else probably. He says he is okay. He thinks he is even when he drags other orphans who look exactly like you on dates. He makes them respond to your name. He chokes them when they slip up. He is much less patient with them. After a little while he pays a private investigator to find you. 

It only takes a couple of months for Avery to show up to your new job. In person. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Black Wolf

Devastated puppy dog eyes. 

Can't handle it constantly looking for you can't even track your scent anymore. Can't even go into town. 

Blackwolf just has to wait for you back at the cave. He hopes you come back home soon

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Great Hawk

Same as black wolf but with more bird sounds. 

Has a pile of jewelry waiting for you. 

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Alex

Absolutely wrecked. He thinks he's the one whos done something wrong to drive you away. He asks around and finds out youre gone from town and no one can find you. He feels sick all the time can't even take care of the farm anymore

He doesn't track you down. He can't even think about you without feeling sick and angry with himself

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Bailey

He's tracking you down instantly. Don't get comfy in your new life because you won't be there for long. He's dragging you back home within days of your disappearance and hes pulling no punches. 

Youre chained and locked away forever now. He's never letting you go and for the next few weeks, he refuses to talk to you. He treats you terribly and can't even look at you. Pissed off that you would ever even think of leaving

•···········································•✦•···········································•

Harper

Good luck escaping this fuck :)

[bezslutpiercing]

41. panic attacks cele/luca :)

(lo sai che ti amo)

41. Panic attack

It's all really a mess, a tangling of bikes and limbs and gravel. He doesn't even know what went wrong, he just felt the bike completely getting out of his control and slide.

He didn't see Fabio coming, he couldn't see him, and he just crashed right into him, he felt a sharp pain in the ribs, managed to catch his bike roll over on the gravel and on Fabio's one, getting up was painful, standing on the side of the track, turning around and seeing the Yamaha rider barely managing to crawl from under the two bikes.

He immediately runs to help him, crouching down beside him and trying to understand the severity of the crash.

Two marshals followed by three or four paramedics rush towards them, he tries to talk to Fabio, understand what he's hurting, but they don't let him stay, he only sees the guy getting loaded on a stretcher and brought to the medical car, the two bikes are taken away, the others are still racing.

He reaches the garage and walks in, helmet still on and visor closed, he stares at the screen trying to understand what does Fabio have, a high pitched ring constant in his ears as he waits.

Two minutes later the notification comes through: Rider #20 Fabio Quartararo is being taken to the Hospital following his crash with rider #10 Luca Marini

The ringing stops, the world basically mutes in his ears before it starts spinning at a much higher pace than he could race at. The ringing comes back, he can't see properly, it's all just a huge mess.

He stumbles his way to his motorhome, making it inside just to lock the door and fall to the ground, fighting with himself just to take his helmet off and gain more oxygen.

The TV is playing his crash with Fabio, he can make out the two bikes flying, the two bikes crashing the other under their weight.

He sent a guy to the hospital. Oh god. Fabio was crawling, almost not moving his left leg, dragging it behind him like a dead weight.

Oh God.

If. What if he broke his leg? What if it's something really serious? What if because of him Fabio won't race anymore?

He can feel his heart clench, the pain between his ribs is almost faded in comparison to the panic that's filling up his head.

Not again not here. Vale is far, he can't help him, he's the only one that knows how to deal with him aside from Pecco.

He makes out a muffled voice, the world still unfocused, his breathing too accelerated, he sees someone coming out of his bathroom, rushing to him, trying to talk, but he can't hear anything.

Cele doesn't know what to do, should he touch him? shake him? try to get him to drink something? wrap him in a blanket?

"Luca listen I'm here ok? I'll uh fuck I don't know what to do shit"

Luca is breathing really fast now, too fast, Cele knows that, there's too much oxygen flow to his brain, even if Luca wanted to he couldn't tell him what to do, he has to make up something.

He turns off the TV, the umpteenth replay of the crash takes away from Luca's peripherical vision, closes the blinds, sets the light to a softer brightness, then goes to sit beside Luca, who's got tears running all over his face.

He tries to touch him but Luca jerks away, Cele can see the panic in his eyes, so he tries to talk to him, slowly, calmly, and getting closer every word he speaks.

"Luca it's me, Cele ok? I just want to help you, can I unzip your leathers a bit? So you breathe better?"

Luca nods, still looking like a terrified animal who got his leg locked in a trap set up in the woods.

"You need to slow down your breathing you're going into hyperventilation, can you give me your hand? I'll help you breathe slower ok?"

He nods again, not trusting his voice to function right now.

Cele counts, one in one out, slow, very slow, his head hurts so much, he can feel his brain pounding, it's terrible.

"Ok you're doing well Luca, can you get up? So you can go sit on the couch"

He shakes his head this time, his legs feel like blocks of cement, he can't move them, and he's scared he'll fall as soon as he gets on his feet.

"Ok no problem we can stay here a bit, keep breathing slowly, in and out, you can hold my hand, like this right, keep going I'm here"

They spend a good 10 minutes on the floor, Cele slowly getting closer, stroking Luca's back with his hand, holding his hand. Once Luca manages to gain back control and focus he actually realizes what happened, and he wants to disappear.

"Are you back with me amore? can I hug you?" "Yes"

Luca's voice is so flebile and trembling Cele fears he's having another attack, but luckily it's not the case, he just hugs his boyfriend while he doesn't let go, finally managing to get him up from the ground and on the couch.

"I'm sorry Cele I'm sorry you shouldn't have seen me like that I'm sorry" "No no Luca don't be sorry I'm glad I was here, if I was away no one would've helped you with this" "I - sorry I can't think about that crash I sent him to the hospital" "Luca it was an accident, it's not your fault, it just happened, and he was conscious and moving so I promise you he's gonna be ok"

Luca wants to believe Cele but it's difficult, he saw that guy crawling in pain before his eyes and he got fucking scared.

"You want a blanket? Want me to cook something?" "You don't have to do this Cele, you should go with your team to analyze your race don't waste your time on me" "Luca I'm not wasting any time, never say that again, and once again, can I cook something for you?" "I - pasta would be nice, with whatever I got in the fridge" "Sooo it's gonna be pasta with a pre-made ragu" "Ok"

Luca stays on the couch, wrapped in the blanket Cele got for him, watching his boyfriendprepare both their lunches, and all the shame he felt earlier, about crying in front of him, looking weak, comes back.

And it's like Cele has a radar for when he's feeling down because he immediately turns around and coems back to sit beside him.

"What's going on?" "I don't like crying in front of people, in front of you" "But there's nothing wrong with it" "I should be the one helping you not the other way around" "Luca help comes both ways, I'm not leaving you alone when you need me" "But you got scared and worried" "Well of course amore" "I don't want you to worry for me" "You always worry for me, and before you say anything no it's not different, I'll never leave you alone if you need me and I know you'd do the same"

Cele hugs him again, leaving soft kisses all over his face before getting up to drain the pasta and make thw two dishes, bringing them to the couch not to force Luca to move.

"Want me to put on a movie? I can put on that Netflix show we were watching" "I need to know if Fabio is ok first" "Do you want me to go out and ask?" "If you can yes, I don't like alll that noise after my attacks" "Sure"

All it takes Cele is three minutes, then he comes back, tells Luca Fabio will need surgery but will be beck in one month maximum, the bikes did something ugly to his knee, but he'll get back, as he suspected the accident was deemed as a racing one, no further actions got taken.

"I'll call him later, get the number somehow" "They're operating him now so I think this evening he'll be available" "Ok" "Now eat and let me look for the show"

Cele smiles and Luca realizes he just fell even more in love with him, a smile making it's way up to his face too, as he starts eating lunch while Cele manages to put on the show.

He's thankful he has Cele, everything seems better when he's around, it's like he brings beauty to everything, at least in Luca's eyes, and he couldn't be happier knowing he has Cele with him.

Put that guy in a SituationTM Ask Game/Prompt

[blimbosworlddd]

Nirvana: A Rock Lee Tale (Chapter 1)

Summary: Your dating life is terrible. Your friends’ marriage is fantastic. Your career as a medic was doing great, though. But you aren’t that happy. However, after one quick trip to the Mighty Rock Dojo, you stumble upon the most magnificent man you’ve ever met- the taijutsu master- Rock Lee.

Notes: slow burn fic, afab/fem/black chubby reader.

Warnings: Mentions of sex, (light) descriptions of blood and violence. Usage of the N word. The reader and Lee are in their late 20s but virtually any age group that is 18 and up can enjoy this story. Again 18+, minors do not interact… pls.

Word count: 2.7k

Masterlist

Next Chapter

You are lonely. So lonely.

Your friends tell you that you’re young– don’t chase, don’t settle, focus on yourself. All that jazz. But there is nothing else you can do but wait: your career as a medic has been blossoming beyond your imagination, you’re taking care of yourself as best you can, yet dating apps are rancid with greasy-haired incels. And the men who did interest you either don’t hit you up or stop engaging.

You feel worthless sometimes, like no matter how beautiful or poised you come off, that one person who you dream of spoiling and loving you is only that- a dream. You always feel like you'll never be fully appreciated.

You know you deserve someone who takes care of you, but no matter how painful it is you always keep pushing. You never have time to drown in self-pity. At the end of the day, people still love and support you. That’s why you went on a date with some guy Temari and her husband, Shikamaru, put you on.

You always envied their relationship; they’ve been going strong since college, watching them grow and evolve as they fall deeper in love with each other. It’d make you quietly turn away and scowl every time they’d hold hands or smile into their kisses.

Your date’s name is Sai. You went out a couple of times beforehand, and actually enjoyed his time; he was a smooth talker with a serene vibe who allowed you to be the corny goofball you are when comfortable. Especially when he’d crack deadpan jokes and tease you. The conversations you had held weight and authenticity.

Y’all are on your third date, walking the night streets of the city while eating rolled ice cream. The stroll is silent but tolerable, ignoring the fact that Sai hadn’t talked much throughout the day.

"Did you enjoy our date?" Sai quips, eyebrows rising inquisitively.

You swallow the melting treat and nod your head.

"Yup!" You lie. "What about you?"

Sai looks down at the remnants of ice cream in his cup before stopping in his tracks.

“Look, I think you’re really cool,” he prompts while avoiding eye contact.

Fuck me, you think.

"But lately, my life has been pretty… eventful. And I'm not sure I've fully moved on from certain relationships, so... Yeah. I-I think we’d be really good friends, though."

The words don’t even sting. Not because you don’t care—but because it’s just so familiar. Another one who couldn’t see you. You nod spitefully, your glossy lips pressing together in a tight line

"Goodbye, Sai." You turn around and walk the opposite direction.

"Should I get you an uber?" He calls out.

You simply wave your hand without looking back. You’re glad you didn’t fuck him anyways, since you already learned the hard way of fooling around while easily susceptible to attachment. That's how you got your heart broken. And you've healed, still healing, but trust is earned. And your time requires effort now.

You shut your apartment door with a foot and lock it before kicking off your heels. Tossing your keys on the living room table, you pad your way to the nearest couch and plop your face on the mattress.

Your eyes sting at the despair of it all, wondering if this love shit is only magical for some. You bring your vibrating phone closer to your face, only to see that it's Shikamaru. You sigh in contemplation, glaring at the TV across from you before reluctantly answering the call.

"Heyyy." Your voice drawls out in a feeble attempt at sounding happy.

"How was your date?" He sounds groggy, like he just woke up from one of his daily naps.

You gulp, eyes widening in shame. "It was - uhhh.”

You hear shuffling on your friend's end, waiting patiently for your response as he opens his refrigerator for snacks.

"Do you think I'm boring?" You whisper, as if you’re unraveling this big secret.

The noise ceases on the other side.

"He dropped you, didn't he?" He deadpans.

Your silence is all the answer he needs.

Shikamaru scoffs. "Fuck him. Don't let some dude you only met 3 times ruin the rest of your week.

"Mhmm." You hear people say that all too often for your liking.

"He said his life has been 'pretty eventful'. Whatever the hell that means."

"That's really a drag. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. But you're not boring at all, it's his loss. Not yours.”

You curl up in a ball and stare at your TV screen, listening to your friend unwrapping a candy bar.

"Hey listen," he takes a bite from the frozen chocolate.

“Instead of sulking in your dark little hole till you find another date, how about you come with Mari and me to meet a good friend?"

"Whoring me out again are we?"

"Damn, was it that obvious?" He sighs tiredly at your lewd sarcasm.

“Anyway, he runs a dojo that his sensei founded. Called the Mighty Rock Dojo."

"Stupid name." You comment petulantly.

"Yeah I know." He snorts. "We'll pick you up at ten am if you want, a change in scenery could help with your... perspective on life."

"S'okay, you can say I’m depressed.”

“Yeah, well I think this could help, even a little bit. Didn't you always watch those Bruce Lee movies when you were a kid? Rush Hour? The Karate Kid?"

“Yeah but-“

"This could unlock good memories for you. Make you feel like you belong?"

"I don't fight though," you reason.

"No need. Just watch."

Your eyebrows furrow in deep worry. While his offer is tempting, you do not see how attending a dojo can fix your love life. Maybe you could just use some innocent excitement for once.

"Alright, alright." You whine, cursing your schedule for making you free tomorrow. “Ten am you said?"

"That's my girl,” You side eye your phone: he hasn’t called you that since y’all broke up. “And yes, we'll pick you up at ten. Now go to sleep.”

After he hangs up, you set your timer on your phone and toss it on the table beside you.

-

You are not a morning person: eyes burning from fresh sleep as you ponder whether you should fling your roaring alarm across your wall. Choosing not to overthink for the rest of sunrise, you decide on more casual clothing for the day. When you feel like you're all caught up on your morning routine, notifications of Temari texting you to come downstairs pop up on your phone.

You greet the couple as you enter their jeep and sit in the back, enjoying that familiar aroma of faint cinnamon in the air.

"You ready to see some sick ass-whooping?" Temari snarls.

"You know it, girl." You snigger. She is a breath of fresh air, you’re beyond grateful for people who are more unserious than you at times.

The ride is peaceful; sun rays dancing through the windows, a jazz playlist tuning in the background to set a nice vibe. You'd doze off if you weren't getting eager to see what this dojo's all about.

"So Pineapple, who is this friend of yours?"

"Rock Lee." Shikamaru rolls his eyes when you ruffle his spiky ponytail peaking above the headrest.

“He's been the master of the dojo ever since his sensei, Might Guy, retired 5 years ago," Temari adds.

You hum in acknowledgment. At the time of arrival, your eyes droop a bit at how... unimpressive the outside looks. Very bland letters that spell out the text of the establishment's name. You wouldn't consider it a dojo without the word dojo being on the big sign. You groan in pending boredom.

A ceiling bell jingles as you enter, the first step inside the dojo and your face is smothered with the pungency of feet. Usually, you would turn right back around with a cringe and escape such an aggressive odor, but the man before you makes it exceptionally difficult to look away:

Beads of sweat decorate the contours of his neck and chest. An impeccable horse stance coils his body like a spring: perfect posture, plump ass sitting in a squat that shows the subtle bulge of his thighs through the fabric of his gi; knees spread apart and each one bent at a 90 degree angle; left arm firmly folded behind his back while the other has his front palm facing him, slender fingers pointing up and pressed together like a blade. His hands and wrists are wrapped in white bandages that you assume would help secure the worn skin beneath. 

He’s in the midst of a match; his intense, unblinking gaze holding both his opponent and the onlookers in rapt attention. 

Every move is a display of disciplined grace and raw physical power. Every strike, every dodge, every block- they all hold tactical precision unlike any other. It's why he never took a single blow.

You don't look away, tapping Shikamaru’s hand.

"What technique is he using?" You mumble in fascination.

Your friend chuckles, sighing quietly after.

"Taijutsu. An ancient martial art that his sensei put on the map a few decades back. Last time I checked, this'll be Lee's 40th beaten opponent this week."

"Well damn." You grunt.

You’ve dated men who postured strength. But this one radiates it—calm, rooted, like he’s fought himself harder than anyone else ever could. He looks like an ancient warrior, like he lives for what he’s doing. So much so, that physical agony is a necessity for his strength. That's why dozens surround him in awe of his mastery.

The atmosphere is electric, growing anticipation of how this battle will end thickens the air. Lee's opponent is bruised up, a battered figure wobbling side to side just to cope with the damage already done to him. All Lee has to do is wait a few moments, not moving an inch until he watches him fall to his knees, and collapse on the matted floor. The victor blinks a couple of times with a deep inhale, you can hear the timbre of his voice when he releases his breath.

"Heh. Some things never change," Temari scoffs with a knowing smile, her chin hooked on your shoulder.

Relaxing his arms at the applauding crowd, Lee stands straight and bows to his beaten contestant, whispering a “thank you” for showing his dedication and strength. Lee slowly grabs his arm and hooks it over his shoulder to help lift his body, walking him to a nursing room in the back of the dojo so he can tend to his injuries. 

An idea pops into your head, kicking off your street shoes to trot past the crowd and follow them. You decide that since you're a medical professional, you'd assist the fighter in his hospitality. You get closer and closer until you find Lee looking in the cabinets for certain remedies.

"Got antiseptic with cotton balls?"

Lee jolts to face you while still crouched under the counter, hitting his head against the hard surface.

Your hand covers your mouth in mortification.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"Don't worry, my friend!" He chuckles sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head. "Just didn't expect anyone to come in yet, haha!"

You smile at his reassurance, not expecting the depth of his voice; a low bass overshadowed by whimsical friendliness every time he speaks.

"Ahh okay. Still have any antiseptic with cotton balls?"

"Oh, yeah! Need some?"

"No, but your friend does.”

Lee lowers his hand, turning his head to the man lying on a thin mattress, and turns back to look at you.

"You want to help him?"

"Mhm!" You chirp, digging in your bag for your wallet to show him your license. Lee raises his hands up at your insistence.

"Y-You don't need to prove yourself to me! I appreciate the help.” His eyes crinkle shut with a toothy smile.

You were thinking of ways to make it falter, like caressing the area where his neck and jaw meet or brushing your thumb along his bushy eyebrows. You could see how strong he is, and you want to feel it. You've never considered his textbook features attractive, but he makes them look too endearing to dislike.

After swiping a bag full of cotton from the upper cabinet, Lee notions you to come closer with a wave.

Walking to stand beside him, you analyze the man's wounds. Gently pressing your fingers throughout his body, you fail to spot any alarmingly tender areas.

Lee hands you a cotton swab with a bottle of antiseptic.

"Nun too serious." You murmur while squirting the solution on the cotton. "He'll be fine.”

He nods with a hum, watching you gently dab the damp material on the fighter's bloodied face.

"What's his name?"

"Neji. We've known each other since childhood."

There was a lilt of fondness in Lee's tone when regarding the man you're patching up.

Neji winces when you clean a certain bruise above his eyebrow, making you pause with caution.

"Oop, sorry Neji. I'm almost done," You coo.

Lee watches in awe at how graceful and precise your movements are when treating his friend, the subtle focus in your stare as you put your training to use impresses him even more. He couldn't be that delicate with someone if he tried. He clears his throat.

"H-How did you learn about the dojo?"

You look up in quick thought before flickering your eyes down to the task at hand.

"The Naras brought me here."

Lee's eyes glow up like light bulbs.

"Shika knows you?!"

You snort at the cute nickname.

"Yeah. We've been friends since middle school. Him and Temari think this place would be a... more cathartic way to spend my time."

You appreciate the couple for thinking of you, really. But it's still kind of embarrassing that they know how much of a loner you are. Lee places a hand on his hip while the other rubs his chin, eyes closing to reminisce about a familiar time in his life.

"Ahh, I remember when I had nothing better to do than work at the dojo. It got so bad that Shika stepped in to show me a more casual way of life. I didn't stop wearing my sensei's hand-me-downs till last year!"

You giggle at how open he is to someone he just met. Lee didn't expect your sultry voice to allure him so easily when you laughed. He wants to make you do it again.

*Yeah," you agree. *He's like a dad friend."

"He IS a dad friend."

Both laughing heartily in unison, you wrap up Neji's treatment and return all the equipment you used.

"All he needs is a few day's rest and he'll be good as new." You look down at Neji who's sound asleep, sighing in pride at your handiwork.

"I’m Rock Lee. But you can call me Sensei.” There’s a playful confidence in his voice. “What's yours?"

"Y/n. It's nice to meet you, Sensei."

You love the way he looks down at you with those big round eyes. His grin is calm, radiating silent poise.

"You'd be a great addition to our dojo, Miss Y/n.” You love the way your name rolls off his tongue. But your skin crawls at what that might say about you.

"You think so?"

"Know so! Every time I patch up my students, they say I'm too rough. But you're obviously a pro.”

You quietly scoff in shyness, the thought of being a nurse for a bunch of fighters never passed your mind till now. Lee blinks a few times in concern.

"I can pay you, if that's the issue."

You shake your head abruptly, "I already have a well-paying job. Plus I couldn't do my best if it's only for the money."

”Yes, of course."

He is too good at eye contact and manners. You beg yourself to act right.

"I'll think about it,” you conclude. “What's your number for the meantime?"

After he gives you his phone, you bid each other farewell. When you reunite with the Nara's you tell them everything that went down in the nursing room.

Shikamaru smirks knowingly, turning towards his car.

“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Anyways, I want brunch."

"Meals are on me for introducing a new hobby!"

"This is why we love Y/n."

"Don't get used to it," you warn playfully.

This work belongs solely to ©️ blimbosworlddd. Do not plagiarize, steal, copy or repost. I worked very hard on this; reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated.

[all-pacas]

do you think it's out of character that cameron didn't mention keeping her husband's sperm until days before she was supposed to get married?

Maybe like……17% out of character? I fully believe that

Cameron would keep her dead husband's sperm and

She wouldn't mention it, because she does know it's kind of weird, look at how she announced it, that was not her being proud of the silly thing she did, but also even if she's not ashamed of it she does know it's weird, does know it's probably going to hurt Chase's (who has a history of being a bit insecure of her feelings towards him) feelings.

However, the waiting until the last minute thing seems a little… contrived.

Cameron absolutely has a history of avoiding problems. If she can avoid her own feelings, she's gonna do it. I can see her waiting until the last second to bring it up, for sure, and the whole thing is pretty silly. But, I actually think this is like… the one example of Cameron and Chase having a conflict that has nuance.

First of all: Cameron explains it pretty clearly. She keeps it as a weird sort of… reminder. I used to think, if I never found someone, she tells Chase. It's a tangible part of her dead husband. She hates letting go of things/possibilities/people. Chase doesn't actually ask her to destroy it (although it's certainly implied): he suggests it's a prenup. And… there's nothing that weird about wanting that. (In fact, it turns out she was pretty right to want one, lmao) It's true the fact that it's sperm is kind of super weird, but Cameron saying just in case things don't work out, I kind of have this as a plan isn't terrible. I get why Chase got defensive, but he's also being a little overly sensitive imo.

And he does kind of immediately get jealous:

CHASE: Cameron kept her dead husband’s sperm. FOREMAN: She doesn’t like yours? CHASE: She likes his better. Or at least she wants to hang on to it in case mine is… unfaithful or something.

She likes his better? Cameron never says she actually wants to use the sperm. Chase is taking Cameron has a backup plan that is admittedly weird to mean she likes her dead husband better than me.

At the end of the episode, he calls off the wedding, kind of.

CHASE: I can’t do it. You have doubts. CAMERON: And you don’t? CHASE: No. CAMERON: Well, that’s… naïve. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. That’s how I feel right now. But I don’t… know. CHASE: I’ll wait until you do. CAMERON: I can’t know. No one knows. CHASE: I do.

These are pretty gentle doubts! She immediately tells him she loves him and wants to be with him. I think this is actually the first time either of them have said love on the show. She just wants a prenup, a very weird fucking prenup, she wants him to know she has these sperm and isn't planning on using them but has them, and Chase is kind of overreacting here.

Next episode, the wedding has been officially postponed/cancelled. Cameron seems to sort of be treating this as a breakup, although Chase did say he'd wait until she was sure, which to me doesn't seem to be him dumping her. Taub tracks down Chase in the world's funniest scene and Chase explains that, once again, his ego is what's at stake here:

CHASE: You’d let your wife keep another man’s offspring on ice next to the frozen peas, just in case? That’s what this is about. She’s not ready to commit to me. She’s planning for failure.

I'm being a little hard on him, but I do get it. Chase holds himself together way better than Dr. "notoriously messy everywhere" Cameron, but let's not forget he's never had anyone want him his entire life. <3 You could even triangulate this with Lockdown and his Did You Ever Love Me rant (he brings the sperm back up then, too): in his own way, he's also preparing for the end, because his whole life his family has let him down and withheld love/affection; his fake dad House always consistently refused to give him any approval, no matter what Cameron says I'm sure Chase hears she's gonna run out on me in six months. (Which!)

Later on, Cameron talks to House, and he suggests destroying the sperm. Which, even though that's clearly what Chase wants, he hasn't actually said it. Cameron is unhappy, but at this point she has good priorities, and she does choose Chase and to destroy the sperm. (And they have a genuinely cute little scene where he wants to hug her but can't but almost does anyway. They're cute sometimes.)

And that's all it takes! As soon as Cameron just… stops hedging and saying "but I need to keep the sperm," Chase is perfectly fine. (And, to his credit, when he thinks she wants to move out, he immediately offers to let her stay and move out instead. He's an insecure moron but he's not a jackass.) And he — not House or anyone else — gets to the bottom of the issue, once he's not feeling sorry for himself:

CHASE: You don’t have doubts. You just don’t wanna kill the only thing left of someone you loved.

And that's perfectly reasonable. And even he knows it. But Cameron didn't communicate it well (I don't know if she even had that articulated in her head). But the issue was never really that Cameron wanted to have a dead man's baby. Chase is probably being a little idealistic here (she definitely has doubts), but he's not wrong. It's not really about the sperm. Cameron is just a bad communicator and terrible at self awareness, and Chase is perceptive but let his own insecurities get in the way.

[buginateacup]

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

:green beetle: ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here (emoji is not working for me smh)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I was gonna say Drifter/Eris and that they both smell really weird in very different ways...

But let's be honest I gotta go Megarox. Megamind is a flower eater, he enjoys nectar, and Roxanne can and will encourage this, usually by bringing him flowers or when they go on walks in parks together (night walks, naturally. Those are the best kind), she plucks flowers and feeds them to him, usually by shoving them in his face because she is a terrible gremlin and it's why we love her.

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

My wife came out to a bunch of our friends and they are all so loving and supportive! She smiles so much now!

We are getting a patio installed out the back! It only took 7 years but finally we can eat out there without having to balance on gravel

There is a very cute cat loafing beside me

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

This is not me trying to yuck anyone's yum but I really, really cannot stand casting Megamind and Roxanne in parental roles for Keiko or her calling them her parents. It squicks me out to the point of repulsion. I am all for feral aunt and uncle to a wild niece, but fun characters who are NOT reduced to parenting (reluctant or otherwise) in sequels are so few and far between that I just don't want to see it. They can be supportive and caring without having to force everyone into Nuclear Family Unit.

And sure, a lot of this stems from growing up with the expectation in both media and irl that of COURSE becoming a parent is the only outcome for you. But that doesn't make it any less of an ick! We SHOULD be getting more non nuclear family options, we SHOULD be getting more it takes a village. But if your only approach to setting characters up as a family is to make them "Here is the mummy and here is the daddy and here is the baby" just no. Please. There are a thousand more possibilities there, open your mind.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Go for a walk, take some music with you, or do dishes or sweep (also with music).

Additionally, if you're wanting to write something but are holding off to find out if future canon will change things, stop waiting. Just go. Do you think we'd have anywhere near the creativity and wildness of fanfic if we had to stop and wait for canon's blessing every time. it's FANFIC! Who fucking cares if canon contradicts you down the track, it's not gonna be any less fanfic for waiting!

(I do think we actually saw a drop in the level of creativity and engagement with fandom ideas when the show was announced, which is a bummer. Kill the cop in your brain. Write shit that will be immediately contradicted, have someone come to your completely disproven fic years down the line and go "I thought this was going to not work because we know X but holy shit this is a whole new way of looking at things!")

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

I uh....no thoughts, head empty. How do I stop my cat attacking me for wearing jeans in the house? I got my other rants out up above so... *le shrug*

:green beetle: ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here (emoji is not working for me smh)

Oh you sneaky little shit, you got me writing!

(context: Look we aint supposed to let the prisoners get gifts. There's a whole chapter in the handbook about what happened last time we let the kid get so much as a bobby pin.

But you tell me how I'm meant to turn down such a sweet little old lady when she comes in with two pristine old shoe boxes, all carefully packed with tissue and hands one to the kid and the other to the repoter and with a quavery little voice about how she and her husband, god rest his soul, used to go dancing every saturday night for almost forty years and how they entered the ameature ballroom competitions together. Told us they were the last pairs they brought together, before the cancer took him and oh she'd never get these on over her bunions now but it would do her old heart good to see some use coming to these shoes which hadn't seen the light of day in nigh on twenty years.)

There's only so much a man can take right before retirement.

I might have been able to hold her off if she hadn't handed one of the boxes to Miss Primetime, who looked really touched and immediately buckled herself into a pair of sparkly red shoes to the encouragement of all the old biddies.

So now the kid's the proud owner of a pair of actual ballroom dance shoes, all polished black to go with the bright orange jumpsuit.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals: Way Down

Geoff's cover of Way Down was released on the 4th of June, 2022, and it is one of my 3 favourite videos (no particular ranking/order) on his channel so far! I might hit image limit for this one, I'm not sure, but I'm not gonna try and be conservative with my screenshot taking, because this video is too much fun! So let's go!

This was filmed at Pattycake Productions Studios, and I wanna know who was in charge of/helped with set design for this one. Was it Geoff? Was he the one that made the mess? 😝😂

Ayyyy

(And yes, that genuinely is the track image/graphic for the track on Spotify and other music streaming platforms!)

*looks left, nobody there*

*looks right, nobody there*

"Alright down I go!" 😂

Thumbnail moment! (Also he kinda looks a bit different with his hair like that doesn't he?)

Geoff says in the description of this: "I had a LOT of fun making this one, and I hope ya'll enjoyed it too, despite the um...terrible dancing." It certainly does look like he had a ton of fun with this one, but I beg to differ on the "terrible dancing" bit! He enjoyed himself, he looked amazing, and I love every second of this video! Terrible my foot!

He just looks so happy in this video!!!

Honestly I kinda sorta wanna learn this choreography (or at least parts of it) myself, but I don't exactly have enough empty space in my house to be spinning around a broom like he does at one point here 😅

(And of course I have to give a shoutout to Eli "lighting whiz" Jacobson for the lighting design!)

Speaking of Eli, that's a hella strong eyebrow raise! Eli got competition! 😝

(Also kinda jealous because my eyebrows absolutely refuse to work independently of each other like that, rip)

Right, so the first glove comes on at about 1:24...

(Also lighting change on the curtains in the background!)

Hey there, Jeff! Nothing to see here! 😁

Hi, Jeoph! 😋

I'm not posting a screenshot of it, but if you've seen the video (of course you have, that's why you're here reading this), you know FULL WELL what Jeoph and Jeff are reacting to here 🤣

Geoff really did that, he really put it in the video and everything! (We have to stan, obviously)

Geoff did the chair-walk(?) dance move thing! Not easy to do, especially with chairs like that on a smooth, glossy/shiny floor, and it looks like he only just landed that based on the way it cuts away, but still, I'm impressed!

Jeoph and Jeff are impressed/surprised, too! 😄

And the whole janitor outfit/uniform gets removed at about 1:58, meaning those gloves were worn for just a little over 30 seconds 🤣

(Also nice shirt 👀)

Rip Jeff

Jeoph: Waayyyyy dooowwwnn

Jeff: "wait since when could you sing like that? And when were you going to tell me?" 😂

(Joke stolen from a Youtube comment, just too good)

No amount of screencaps could do it justice but goddamn Geoff's hips do not lie in this video! He got moves! (Sure, he has people to help him with choreography (shoutout to Chris Dupre for this one!), but knowing a choreography routine is one thing; being able to do it and do it well is another)

"Oh uh, hey there boss! What a surprise to see you here! Nothing much happening right now, totally!"

*swoon*

Someone in some Youtube comment, on a reaction video I think, referred to Geoff "flirting with the camera" in this video, and I was like "hey yeah, he's totally flirting with the camera here!" (do it more)

Man, if I had a nickel for every time there was a brown-haired dude living in Florida who was good at singing and sometimes did songs with "clones" of himself, who had different names/nicknames and interacted with each other, well, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice!

(Even weirder is that the other guy used to be one of my previous hyperfixations, and when I eventually got around to watching this video last year, I kind of got a feeling of "oh no it's happening again!" 😂😅)

Yes I love him, what about it?

So apparently the names/nicknames for these three came from the various incorrect ways that Geoff has seen his name spelled. And it's like... okay, "Jeff", yes, I've seen that on a couple or so Voiceplay videos (his name is literally in the description! And there are always comments that talk about him! (but it is still the somewhat more common spelling of the name I guess)), "Goff" is likely just a missed-letter typo, but "Jeoph"? Jeoph??? Who the heck came up with that misspelling? 🤣

"Way onnnnn d o o o w w w n n n n" (subharmonic C1!!!!)

And yes, I've officially hit picture limit, so no screencaps of the mini bonus scene at the end - you'll just have to go (re)watch that part yourself! 😁

Can you believe that Geoff does not only the singing and performing on screen, but also the arranging, producing, and editing for his covers too? And he directs or co-directs them!

This video is 3 minutes of complete and utter serotonin and I love it. I really hope we get to see more of Geoff dancing in 2024, whether on his channel or with Voiceplay. And honestly with the super-wide variety of music content across the two channels, it's entirely possible!

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 1x03-1x04

this is happening, apologies in advance to everyone who did not experience pll-era jaggedwolf, including the two knuckleheads dragged into watching this show

I was so distracted by the horror of having to actually watch the Ezria of it all that I entirely forgot about Wren, and the Hastings family going "boo you whore" at Spencer for the audacity of being kissed by a grown man. What's the point of being lawyer parents if you don't threaten the fully adult man kissing your daughter instead of being mean to her.

but who are the Hastings if they don't pick the "Be Mean To Spencer" button whenever it appears? I forgot it started so early

other thing that starts early: A liar going, well, what the fuck do we do, Spencer?? and Spencer going ??? I don't know!!!!!???

First appearance of Noel's cabin! It has a foosball table. Noel did you have to spend money on that photo booth or did your parents have that lying around.

Here I contemplate the economic stratus of the parents of Rosewood (~7k population, along the Main Line, unincorporated?) and their frequent traveling for work, though here the Hastings are Out of Town for Melissa reasons.

I've never thought about Toby punching out Ben in the context of what we later learn about Toby, but huh. considering that.

you know, Sean did nothing wrong. Dude did not want to fuck and got his car wrecked for it. Just remembered the other plotline he's briefly involved in this season through no fault of his own and am laughing, he is here to be utterly clueless.

Hanna is still so good though <3

Group flashback time - when Alison tears into Hanna, it's Aria who speaks up. Something to keep track of, maybe, for the pre-disappearance dynamics

The first two episodes have Emily-Aria and Hanna-Spencer link up as pairs, the former feeling like outsiders to the town, the latter the shining stars on the edge of flaming out.

These eps have no Emily-Aria, each wrapped up in their own secrets, but we get a bunch of Hanna-Spencer. Spencer tells Hanna about the plagiarism first, Hanna talks to her about dad dinner outfits, Spencer asks Hanna when she needs a ride from the motel. ....Is S1 going to make me contemplate Spencer/Hanna? I have no complaints.

(To be fair, I'm not sure Emily has her own car at this point. We only see her with the bike and in other people's cars so far, which would make sense for the Fields. Am I going to start tracking proof of car ownership? Maybe.)

A's responses when the girls block unknown numbers are good. The missing girl poster, the frickin song dedication, the jungle red lipstick on a mirror! Can't wait for A to hit the girls up on Excel

god does tom marin suck. and byron. and ezra. and wilden. let's stop there before I list every man in rosewood

except for toby, whose only crime these episodes is failing to make non-creepy expressions. then again, he spent a year in reform school wearing that terrible durag. that must do damage to a fella.

am reminded that Aria can be fun when she's not mired in Ezra bullshit (very insistent on the difference of gnats vs flies! utterly aghast that Spencer hasn't started a paper! decides to tell her mom too late when it shouldn't have been her problem from the start!). this week's fashion crime was an earring so big i thought it a shawl or part of her shirt until someone pointed out it wasn't

Emily's plot mildly stresses me out now that we've gotten past the locker room scene because I don't remember what happens when. I just want this kid to be okay! She's the only one still wearing the friendship bracelet, yeah? I don't remember how long it lasts for

mentions of writing on facebook walls...this show is so 2010...

[awellboiledicicle]

Honestly it's going to come up when Gale finds a book on anatomy in the apothecary that's only slightly falling apart. He offers it to Anders in full view of everyone and Anders looks like hes going to have a heart attack.

Anders would hurriedly tuck the book away and very much be doing the 'act natural' thing.

Gale would ask why and Anders would have to awkwardly explain that such books are highly controlled by the Chantry in Thedas. Which leads to Gale unfortunately going "But you're a healer."

Which, given this is before they find the secret door to the Necromancy dungeon, earns a sharp intake of breath from Hawke followed by the biggest sigh that the party has heard from a human in their lives. They see why about the time Anders' jaw works, teeth grinding a bit while he decides just how into this kettle of fish he wants to leap.

"Yes I am. One of the more accomplished spirit healers in my Circle before i ran away."

"Ran a--"

"I'm guessing you don't have those here, either."

"Not the way you're implying by that tone, no."

Anders opened his mouth and snapped it shut with an audible click, grip on his bag tightly.

"I-- Right. You wouldn't-- I'll tell you about them another time." He shook his head like he was trying to physically shake the knee-jerk rant out of his skull. "But no, even when i was being trained as a healer-- anatomy books were forbidden."

"All of them? How the devil were you supposed to know how to treat a body if you didn't understand it?"

"The official answer is that mages specialized in healing were to know their business through alchemical means. Officially, we were taught what a healing poultice did to the various races, how tinctures and elixers came to their end effects. How the end result presented, and if you presented a new formula to the Enchanters or just your specific group within the Circle, you generally tested it on the rats in the cellar under intense supervision. Anatomy wasn't part of it, outside Spirit Healing--like I do. Again, officially, the spirit works out the anatomy and you're just a conduit. No official reason for a healer in a tower to know how a body works." His voice lowered without much thought, and Gale leaned closer as if half the party hadn't paused their looting to listen. "Unofficially, you can learn almost as much outside-- where you can get a hand on books from up north. There's a nation called Tevinter, terrible place, but the chantry has no sway-- they do dissections and studies all the time. Hundreds of tomes make their way south from trade or--"

"Or someone helpfully looting a slaver caravan once they've slaughtered the bastards." Hawke piped up helpfully, having taken to sitting on a box and waiting out the conversation. There was a lever he really wanted to pull and had learned not to do such things without letting the group know. Far less accidents that way. He shot Anders a grin while the mage rolled his eyes. "Basically the Chantry views cutting up a body for anything but killing mages or elves a bit too grim, and call it blood magic. Which is illegal."

"Yes, that." Anders flexed his fingers and tried to not mind the audience he'd gathered on this generally private conversation. "If it weren't for having been a Warden, i'd have never seen an actual anatomical model. And then Hawke was kind enough to stock my shelves with every book his money could buy."

"Much to mother's distaste, if you recall."

"I remember her distaste with me, too, and she got over that eventually."

"True, but you came free."

Anders scoffed and tried in vain to keep the fond smile off his face. It dropped when he glanced back at Gale and remembered the topic.

"My point is: even if you weren't a mage, getting caught by the Chantry having something like an anatomical book could get you killed if the wrong Mother was in command of the local chantry. If you were a mage, though, the best outcome you'd hope for is death."

Gale weighed his options about asking after that last point and jumped tracks.

"Seems your Maker has some very strong opinions on reading material."

Hawke suddenly got very interested in the cracks in the ceiling and Anders pursed his lips as his shoulders tensed.

"You'd think that, wouldn't you? From how the Grand Clerics and Reveared Mothers pass down sanctions and edicts--" Another teeth clicking snap of his jaw, followed by a deep breath in and out. Once he'd calmed some, he continued. "No."

"Pardon?"

"The only one who knew what the Maker spoke of, for or against, was Andraste and she was killed."

"So... they're just guessing."

"Essentially."

"And you've no other gods to push back on it?"

"Flames, no-- the Maker was, before he turned away, the only one that bothered to manifest."

"Well, there's the elven Creators." Hawke sighed. "But they had their whole thing with being locked in the Fade for... shit, should have asked Merrill more. Ah well."

"Yes, fine, but historically they never cropped up in opposition to the Chantry directly. Elves, certainly-- there were whole exulted marches to that effect-- but not their gods."

"Wouldn't have been written down if they did, though."

"What," Wyll piped up, setting aside a barrel lid. "They edit history, too?"

Hawke and Anders shared a look.

"Do... people not do that here?"

"Nominally, in so far as the victor of a battle generally writes the history." Gale quirked an eyebrow. "But generally, the losing side's story still gets out and eventually into the history books."

"Huh." Anders blinked for a moment. "No, if you lose to the Chantry, you're only remembered as a faceless horde that fell under righteous blades or whatever they decide to spin it as."

"Good gods, you'll tell us people don't get taught to read next."

"Well, that depends on if you're rich or a woman." Hawke shrugged at their following confusion at the last detail. "Women read and write the laws of the Chantry, men follow it. Don't usually need to read to sing the chant, just learn it."

"To clarify, it was a man that betray the Maker's bride and one that killed her." Anders did not seem to know how to handle the assorted looks from those listening, and continued. "And since the Maker's chosen was a woman, they hold sway in the Chantry. Outside of that, things are generally equal. Mages are all taught our letters, along with the chant. Your average peasant knows the Kings common enough to sound out words, but most don't bother unless it's in the chant somewhere."

"For context, most gods and churches here just don't want you to raise the dead and go on a murder spree." Wyll frowned. "Well, most gods. The ones that would demand that sort of thing don't generally get worshiped in the light of day."

"Not that this all hasn't been extremely fascinating, but could we please get back to dealing with the matter at head?" Astarion most definitely did not complain from his corner of the room, where he'd been slowly sorting aromatics to purloin. Which he'd finished just a bit ago, thus entirely rendering further pause unnecessary. "That lever on the wall looks interesting."

"Worried about dying of old age?" Hawke huffed, standing back up and nodding to the group before placing his hand on the lever. He ignored Astarion's faux aghast expression. "C'mon. We can talk more about how terrible the Chantry is at camp."

And then they found Necromancy Basement and Hawke was in 0 mood to do anything but destroy the book and kill things.

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as Shit I've Heard This Week 5

Another a long one🙃

Medda: Hows it going?

Davey: Not terrible

Medda: Ah... well we aren't aiming for terrible so I guess we're on the right track

Elmer: Do you have memories by Taylor Swift?

Jojo: Do you like Jesus?

Crutchie: What are you wearing tomorrow?

Race: Probably that random guys sweat shirt

Crutchie: Which random guy

Race: The one from freshman year

Crutchie: From the football game?

Race: No the basketball game

Crutchie: Ohh the blonde freshman basketball guy

Race: No the one who had purple highlights

Crutchie: Oh! Okay that guy

Race: Yeah

Spot: Why the fuck did you pull so many guys as a freshman?

Race: You say it like I don't still pull

Jack, either about Medda or his partner: She spewed words at me over the phone but I was mad and I wasn't listening so I have no clue what she was trying to tell me

Race: I was hot. Right? Spot?

Spot, either not listening or avoiding his feelings: That car was going way too fast

Jojo: Is that your stuff??

Elmer: No?

Jojo: Who's stuff is on your chair??? Ugh! Excuse her! What is this

Race, after getting a concussion: This Barbie has brain damage

Race: Okay I woke up and I felt like shit, lately I've always felt like shit when I wake up but it was extra bad today so I just started crying

Davey, who's learned sometimes Race just needs to talk and not be consoled: It be like that sometimes

Race: So I was trying to do my eyeliner but I was crying and that- well that doesn't go too well

Davey: Right because your eye liner isn't waterproof

Race: I really need to invest in waterproof liner but the guy I'm seeing thinks it's hot when my makeup gets fucked up when I suck hi-

Davey: that took a turn a little too far for your volume to still be this loud

Crutchie: are you ready for Mandatory Corn Hole?

Jack: MANDATORY CORN HOLE!!!

Buttons: Have you found the post where she talks about eggs growing on trees?

Jojo: What's being in the school musical like?

Elmer: Uh so do you know Stockholm Syndrome? It's like that

Jack: It's that time the moment you've all been waiting for: me to stop talking

Graves: Hey if you're gonna die just lemme know *gestures to shirt advertising a cemetery he works at*

York: You can get me in there?

Graves: I can dig your grave for you

York: That almost sounds like a threat but I know you

Jack: He's such a little dictator !!!

Medda: I didn't know what you were going to say-

Jack: He's such a dick /tator/

Jojo: Is the test tomorrow going to take all period?

Medda: The way this review is going? Probably

Davey, who recently began to gage his ears and has noticed an accompanying smell: I was trying to read an article-

Race: Was it about how your ears smell like cheese?

Crutchie: ... What

Romeo: I saw you holding out your hands like you were showing the size of something

Race: Oh yeah someone's dick

Romeo: :0

Romeo: I'm gonna go back to reading my gay webtoon now

Oscar: *in the background* I shaved my pubes earlier

Davey: 😟

Crutchie: Did you hear that too??

Davey: I heard it

Crutchie: Who the fuck just says??

Davey: out loud??

Race: *holds out an entire handful of quarters* I put a 10 in the vending machine because I got thirsty

Albert, cishet: shut up

Race, gay and afab nonbinary: Are you???

Albert: Yes.

Race: You just???

Albert: Yes.

Race: You hate gay people!

Albert: Yes!

Race: You hate women!

Albert: Yes!

Race: You just called me a tranny!!!

Albert: Yea!!

Race: :0

(They're best friends)

Davey: I tried washing it off but my hand is still sticky

Race: That's what she said

Davey: :0 you're the reason why non binary peo aren't recognized by the LGBT community

Race: :00

Race, to Albert: DID YOU HEAR THAT

Albert: No. He got away with it. I didn't hear a thing.

Romeo, in an official award acceptance speech: I would like to thank my peers for voting for me to receive this honor, my dad for always supporting me, peanut butter for its buttery goodness, and my friends for always having my back

Elmer, to Buttons in the audience: did he just-

Buttons: thank peanut butter for its buttery goodness? Yeah. Yeah he did.

Elmer: isn't he-

Buttons: yeah he's allergic to peanuts.

Race: Whenever I hear "terrible towel" from the sports ball people I think "cum rag"

Spot: you think WHAT

Sarah: I love sexism I have sexism every night

Race, looking in his phone camera: I am so hot omg

Jack: I'm actually kinda col- oh. I thought you were talking about temperature

Graves: Why's he got his shirt unbuttoned like he's prince Sebastian

Romeo: PRINCE SEBASTIAN??

Graves: from the little mermaid??

Romeo, dying: THATS PRINCE ERIC

Romeo: SEBASTIAN IS THE CRAB

Graves:...

TW SUICIDE JOKE AND F SLUR AS A JOKE

Sarah: Don't worry I would never trade you for money. Only Bitcoin

Davey: Kill yourself. Die

Sarah: You first!

Davey: Kill yourself!

Sarah: You first!

Sarah: Faggot!

Davey: You're a faggot first!

Sarah: Faggot! You like men!

Davey: You like women first!

Sarah: At least they're better!

Davey: Ah- yeah...

Elmer, walking into Brooklyn for the first time: Oh my god! WEAR YOUR CLOTHES!!!

Denton, an english teacher who's never met Jack: Did you know that the West symbolizes death and endings?

Jack: What.

Davey: Legend has it- or SCIENCE has it-

Albert: Shut the fuck up

Race: Sit on my lap

Medda: I would crush you

Race: I've gotten crushed in football I'm used to it

Medda: Not this much buddy

Buttons: It's like when your dog runs away. That's how I feel without Splasher... Fido come home...

Race: It was dark and windy and there were no lights on and suddenly there was a machette

Davey: I was gone for 2 seconds what did I walk into

Specs: This freaks me out. I can't deal with things touching my eye. It's why I don't wear contact lenses. Cuz I'm a big baby

Davey: You get rid of noro virus by... *vague hand gestures* both ends... As people say... And that doesn't mean you play both quarterback and line backer it's... It's not good

Splasher: Will that thing we did last year work again?

Medda: No, I don't think so... It's cool but it's not that cool

(You don't understand how funny this was, it was our (very conservative) biology teacher talking about baiting his freshmen to bring back "phat with a ph" for bonus points)

Davey: I could light myself on fire and I don't think they'd even notice. At some point I think someone would go "...*sniff* *sniff* ugh I don't think lunch is gonna be good today" and they would have no idea that I burned to death

Davey, teacher: *drawing examples on the board* how about that? I'm hard pressed to make anything else because I can't draw but you get the point

Denton: It's like you're stabbing Ms. Medda in the eye

Crutchie: What.

Denton: Like a jump scare like- TRUTH

Crutchie: What compels you to say that? You could have said anything else

Denton: Because that's what it feels like!

Albert: We have a pep assembly on a Tuesday? What has the world come to?

Romeo: Do you want some gmo rats? They count as fruit

Jack: Maybe I'll just wallow in depression and everyone who's here can observe like I'm a zoo animal

Davey: I think that's less likely than biological warfare- which is real. Biological warfare is REAL

Jack: Dave, I love you, but what the fuck does that have anything to do with me asking if it's pizza day?

Davey: sorry I'm in a mood and all I can think about is bio-

Jack: biological warfare? Yeah I noticed

Jack: Some of my answers are like a politician. Like... "He talked a lot but... he didn't really say anything... Like that really wasn't an answer that... I was looking for"

Davey: They're serial killers!

Jack: But the good kind?

Davey: *overjoyed* BUT THE GOOD KIND!! A VIGILANTE!!!

Race: It's science but Master Chef

Davey, tutoring a large group: When these cells mature, they no longer laugh at potty jokes. Until then they're insufferable to be around...

Literally everyone: *silence*

Davey: You guys can laugh that was funny

Everyone: *nothing*

Davey: A... Science joke...

Albert: *exaggerated* Ha ha

Davey: I appreciate that, thank you Albert

Finch: Ah!! A freshman left his water bottle here!! *drags trash bin across the floor and knocks water bottle into it with a meter stick* gross. Infectious. That's how you take care of that

Denton: The original Trojan horse

Race: *gasps* transgender!

Race: Spray tan or tanning bed?

Spot: ...What?

Race: Spray tan or tanning bed?

Spot: ...Neither? Go outside?

Albert: *Sarcastic* yeah go phospholipids

Davey: *excited* yeah! Phospholipids!! That's what's up!

[crazyk-imagine]

Charlie One Headcanon

A/N: So I've been watching the show on and off for the last three weeks and I just got to when my man Charlie One dies... why did no one tell me??!?!??!? I'm so sad and I wrote this like two days before his death super depressing times for the fictional man world

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- You met during the trade of the Russian and the doctor - Jane left you to deal with him while waiting for the doctor - He did nothing but smile and subtly flirt with you when you met (it was too easy to put him in his place) - He kept in contact with you, making sure to ask for your number before he left and informing you of the terrible communication that could occur with his job - He can't help but feel a little giddy when he has to make his way back to Hawai'i for Jane and her team (ie you) - He's started to keep at least one of your favorite snacks on him (or at least, finds them first before making his way to you) - When you, he, and Jane made your way to the safe house to protect the only one who knew how all of the houses operated, he did all he could to make sure you and Jane made it out alive - Slightly more making sure keeping you were alive compared to your boss, but it evened out because you two kept him and the asset safe - If he shows up in town, very rarely do you know before hand - You were hesitant to talk to him more or even accept his requests for asking you out, but he slowly started wearing you down - His flirty nature made you extremely hesitant in accepting but then when he started showing you his softer side, showing you there was more that meets the eye - The last time he came into town, he got the guts to ask you out - Jesse and Kai gave him a hard time - Ernie gave him advice, telling him not to snack too much and make sure he took you somewhere nice - C.C. told you your aura is sending out large waves of happiness mixed with love which you try to tell her that's not the case, but she tells you otherwise (you stopped fighting her after that) - The date goes well and then some - No one took you as a bring someone home on the first date type, and you're not but (hehe) Charlie One can definitely persuade you into anything (or out of anything) - When you two start dating, he tried to make more of an effort to keep in contact (and did as well as he could) - The team teased you because of your new relationship and also voiced their concerns since he isn't local but if you were happy and everything seemed to be okay then they were happy for you - The team always looked out for you and your happiness no matter what and continue to do so - They were surprised when he came into town not on business but when you showed up and he said he was taking you on a surprise date, the team was sure to stay on you two, wanting updates (since you told Ernie not to track you) - Charlie one always made sure you were well taken care of before he left for duty - Charlie one always made sure you were well taken care of before he left - He kept a close eye on the team (whether you knew or not) because you mean more to him than you realized - And when he came for Jane, you knew where he was going and wo he was helping - Then when news came about his death, no one knew how to tell you - Jane took it harder than anyone and broke her heart when you two came in contact again - You never blamed her and knew there was always a risk of him not coming back to you (it never made it easier to think of though)

[starrypawz]

So here's the absolture clown shoes, you have got to be shitting me if I don't laugh I will mcfreaking lose it situation I've just gone through today.

So the UK has a nationwide Concerta XL shortage.

I put in my prescrption refill request in a few weeks back, earlier than I normally would do but my usual pharmacy is unable to get it in.

So I end up looking at Boots stock as you can track their supply levels online and I sit and wait as essentially most of the ones around my county are out and then hey look a few are cropping up in a few neighbouring towns which is like in UK terms a bit out of the way but not terrible.

So I call one yesterday and ask if they can fill my script, I get that all sorted and tell them I'll be by today to pick it up around noon I'm told to make sure I get there before 1 because they close for lunch for an hour, ok cool cool. I ask my driving instructor if we can use today's lesson to head on over there so I can pick my medication up.

So off we go.

And I get there. Boots is not open, they have not been able to open today someone is on the door telling people this.

Do you want to know why they can't open?

THE PHARMACIST DIDN'T SHOW UP TODAY

I drove all that way and can't even pick my meds up.

BECAUSE THE PHARMACIST DIDN'T SHOW UP.

[hellsbellschime]

So I know mentioned that I have weirdly bad luck a few days ago, and although this happened on Sunday and I just didn't have the energy to chronicle it until now, it is such a hilariously on-point example that I'm a Murphy's law magnet that I can't not share.

So, I went to Las Vegas with my cousin last week and generally had a good time, aside from the fact that I'm pretty sure I broke a bone in my foot and/or toe the day he arrived in California to hang before we left, which obviously made traveling in general or doing a lot of fun shit way more difficult (and I'm finally going to go see a doctor about it tomorrow or Thursday so fingers crossed they don't tell me anything terrible).

Sunday was the day I left, and because I have a Priority Pass I left the hotel at like 4:30am so I could go grab a free breakfast at the airport lounge before I go. I get there, do this automated ordering thing, get a confirmation number and everything, and it says that it should be ready in 15 minutes or less. Because I'm dumb and don't recall that everything that can go wrong for me will go wrong, I don't note when I made the order, and eventually realize it has been 30 minutes at least and it's basically time for me to go. I track down an employee and ask WTF, and they're like oh yeah we got no order and we can't give you anything to go, sorry. Which already had me annoyed, but whatever, it's a flight from Las Vegas to Los Angeles, it's 7am and it'd be bizarre if I wasn't home by 10am.

So I get on the plane, fly home, everything seems to be fine. I arrive, text my mom that I've landed, go down and collect my luggage, and wait. And wait. And wait and wait. Eventually calling her like 10 times during that hour to see what the eff is going on.

After waiting in the terminal for about an hour, I decide to go start looking for her, as I'm guessing she must have forgotten her phone, and to be fair, I did tell her that it would be one of two terminals that I would land in. So I walk to the other terminal, no dice. I know she'll be driving my new EV, so I think hey, maybe I should check out the EV parking areas to see if she's even here. I do that, no dice. I do a few laps in the airport again, still no luck. All of this on an injured effing foot mind you.

By the time I have gone through all this rigmarole, it has legitimately killed another hour of waiting (LAX is fucking huge if you didn't know). At this point I am legitimately starting to get concerned, and I think hey, my car is brand new and all tech-equipped, maybe I can do something with that and at least see if the car is parked at my house, at the airport, or en route somewhere else.

So although I hadn't signed up for the service yet because my car is legit brand new, I text OnStar to see if there is any assistance they can give me. They eventually tell me to get on a call and I do, and because I haven't actually signed up for anything they ask me a series of questions to figure out how they can track down my shit. They ultimately ask me for my VIN which I surprisingly do have because I at least signed up for the Chevy app on my phone, and they're like oh this VIN (on my brand new car that has been owned by no one else mind you) has a registered OnStar account to some guy name Frank who I've never heard of in my life. I'm like okay, maybe the zero in my VIN number is actually an O, so they try that and are like nope there's nothing here it's definitely the Frank account or whatnot, but we can't help you either way.

But thankfully, they at least offer to transfer me to someone who works at Chevy to see if they can do something about it as well. They ping me over to them and we essentially go through the exact same process again, down to them telling me that some dude named Frank has an account under my VIN and that ultimately there is nothing that they can do. They're basically like, eh, call the cops or you're SOL.

At this point another hour plus has gone by and my concern and frustration is through the roof, and I'm basically like well I could call the cops, but if I know my mom, she's just blowing me off or screwed something up rather than it being an emergency. So I decide that I should find a way home by myself, and I better figure it out fast because my phone battery is now at like 20%. Lyft, Uber, and cabs were too much, but there is an express bus from LAX to Union Station that runs often and it's sorta in the direction of my house, so I download that app, buy a one way ticket, and wait for the bus to show up.

In case it wasn't obvious, I have also been incessantly calling my mom this entire time, but once I have bought my ticket and am waiting, despite the fact that I have called 30+ times to no avail and I landed at 8 and it is now 10 to noon, she FINALLY picks up the phone, very clearly just waking up from sleep. Unsurprisingly I am a tsunami of rage and basically say okay cool, glad you're okay, already figured out how to get home, gotta go, don't want to deal with your shit at the moment.

So I take the bus to Union Station and then take the metro rail toward my house (which sidenote, 10/10 recommend LA metro rail, even if the train isn't the cleanest holy shit the views were actually spectacular, it was super fast, and I legit regretted never having taken the train in the city before then). The station in my town is like 2 miles from my house, I ask my mom to pick me up, she says yes, and once again I'm sitting outside at 1pm in 100+ degree heat, waiting with very little shade. After waiting for like 20 minutes I'm like hey, do I want to sit here waiting forever again or should I start walking? So I start walking home with luggage in tow, and tell her that I'm starting to walk home so if she finds me she finds me and if not I'll be there when I get there.

I, no joke, make it 1.6 out of the 2 miles before she actually arrives. I tell her to GTFO of the driver's seat so I can drive home and immediately start charging my now nearly-dead phone, I hop in, and immediately see that the battery gauge on the car is flashing on "low" and the battery is low enough that it is minimizing the actual propulsion of the car. Thankfully we are right next to the DC fast charging stations near my house, so I immediately turn into the parking lot. Not so thankfully but entirely as usual, there are three cars in line waiting before me. I tell my mom to once again GTFO and go into the nearby mall so I can wait, and because the battery is so low, I lower all of the windows and turn the car off, once again waiting in 100+ degree heat.

It takes 20-25 minutes for me to get to the front of the line, and because Electrify America charging stations are garbage, I get the actual charger to connect to my car but the card reader is not working. I call EA assistance to pay on my almost dead phone, and as I am giving her my card info, the call starts breaking up hardcore. It disconnects, but thankfully the agent calls me back and finishes the transaction so the car can start charging the battery that now literally has 3% power and I can also start charging my phone.

At this point I am so hot and sweaty that my hair is literally wet, and I'm like A. I'm dying and B. I actually probably need to rehydrate for my own safety, so I go into the mall and get a large Honeydew smoothie and large watermelon slush to bring myself back to life. I go back to the car because at this point I am beyond exhausted, my foot is killing, and I am dying to go home because I have been up since 4:30am and expected to be home 7 hours earlier, so once the car is just half charged I finally bail.

I go home, pass tf out, and wake up a few hours later with sunburns on both of my forearms.

So, if you were ever wondering what I meant when I said that I have genuinely weirdly, bizarrely bad luck, now you know.