#I'm just trying to fill the first ten tags there are so many things i don't want to be in the tags for

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, based on endgame by taylor swift (you don't understand how much i'm loving this song), cute gf flo

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 2.2k

note: omg, it's finally here. I'm so sorry it took me sooo long, it just I was super busy. Was this inspire by Ms. Taylor Swift? Yes, yes it was. I really hope you guys like this one. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Love you all so much <3

note 2: guys, I'm currently reading 'Delilah Green doesnt' care' and it's giving me so many ideas for fics. So would any of you be interest in more mum!florence? Please let me know. Xoxo, M

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

Your eyes were closed, your head was on her chest listening to her steady heartbeats, a soft smile formed on your lips.

“Promise me this is forever,” you whispered. 

You knew she was awake, she was doing the same thing as you, enjoying the moment, living in the present.

Your eyes found hers already looking at you. 

“I promise,” she said, her smile mirroring yours. 

Her lips found yours as if sealing the promise forever, but nothing ever lasts forever. The kiss that was first sweet and soft and filled with love, turned bitter, harsh and cold. You pulled back confusion written all over your face. 

You blink once then twice, and suddenly you were waking up on your bed, alone. You cursed yourself at the stupid memory. It was so pathetic to still think about Florence that way. You two were history, long forgotten, just a memory of your adolescence. 

You shook your head, trying to wake up your foggy brain from the nap you had taken. And decided to get some work done as a way to clear your head from your silly old fantasies.  

You made yourself a cup of tea, grabbed your notebook and put your headphones on. You only had three more months to finish your second album. The deadline wasn’t much of a concern of yours, what bothered you was the lack of inspiration. Every lyric you would write down was just trash, it was as if you were missing something. So far you had only five finished songs, and you needed ten more to have the album finished. 

You were humming, moving your head to the beat as you let your brain come up with the right words, but it felt as if you were stuck.

“I wanna be your endgame,” you sang to the beat. “I wanna be, I wanna be your… ” you threw your head back in annoyance, frustration getting the best out of you. 

You had been sitting on the floor for the last hour, trying to finish this one song but you were not even close to it. You took a deep breath trying not to lose your shit. Your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with a new notification and that took your whole attention. 

“Y/n Y/l/n and Drew Starkey spotted out for dinner,” you read out loud and couldn’t help rolling your eyes at the link your manager and best friend had sent you.

According to the news, you were dating both Drew Starkey and Joe Keery. You also almost got engaged the week before to Rudy Pankow, but apparently cheated on him with Maya Hawke. You knew better than to actually pay attention to fake news, but you couldn’t help to. After all that was now your life, the life of a startpop in the making, so much for a boring Oxford kid. 

Your reputation precedes you, in rumours you were knee-deep. But there was nothing you could do about it. Exhausted from your social life and the poor lack of motivation to do the one thing you loved the most, you decided to go out on a walk, hoping it would help to clear your thoughts about both the fake news and Florence, who you tried to ignore from thinking of. But ever since that dream you found yourself thinking about her more often. 

You knew she was as famous as you were, maybe even more. You had to admit to yourself that some nights you found some kind of comfort in her movies, watching her cute pouty face, the one she was most known for. 

She was your first love, she taught you how to love, what it was to be loved. Of course it wasn’t easy to forget about her, even after all these years, some part of you still craved her love. It wasn’t that you didn’t love each other when you both decided to go separate ways, it was because things weren’t so simple anymore. You two weren’t just two teenargs in love, you were slowly becoming adults. She had booked roles and you were making your way into the music industry. 

And without the two of you knowing you two just drifted apart, the two of you too caught up in your careers. But you loved her, so you decided to let her go, hoping and praying to the universe that maybe she would come back to you one day. 

Your thoughts were interrupted as you opened the door to your local cafe and someone bumped into you. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t… “ but you stopped cold once you saw the strangers eyes. 

“Y/n?” she asked, her voice as soft and raspy as you remembered. “What are you doing here?” a smile formed on her face, as if she was genuinely happy to see you. 

You shook your head trying to clear out your mind, was Florence really in front of you? “I, um, I lived here,” you blinked once, twice and she was still there. “Just around the corner,” you added, cursing yourself for being so awkward. “What are you doing here?” 

Was this a sign of the universe? Have your prayers been answered? 

“Visiting my family,” right her family, you thought. “Well, not just that, I’m also working,” she scratched the back of her neck. “I was actually hoping to see you, too.”

“Really?” that had to mean something, the universe couldn't be messing around with you this cruelly. Right?

“Yeah, I have, um… I have been thinking about you.” she smiled at you and you felt the butterflies in your stomach. “I think we should talk.”

“I, um,” what were you supposed to say? Were you willingly going to agree to spend time with the love of your life as if the two of you were going to be just friends? What was that supposed to mean?

“Yeah, sure. When are you free?” you finally agree.

You mentally checked your schedule, you were supposed to finish your songs but taking a break wouldn’t hurt anybody. Plus, you were going to get your coffee and get back to it right away. 

“Um, what about now?” 

Shit, you thought. She wasn’t going to give you any time to prepare yourself. Well, you better get into it, rip it off like a band aid. 

“Okay, I was going to get a coffee and then we can…”

“Yeah, yeah, take your time. I’m going to find us a table.”

You order your coffee while mentally preparing for the conversation the two of you were going to have. What was she on about? Was it really a big coincidence? Did the universe put her in our path for some reason? You shook your head, you needed to stop thinking about the universe’s way of working for a second.

They handed you your coffee and now you had no more excuses to avoid her, not that you wanted to. Some part of you long to be near her, but you were scared of what this whole thing was about. 

“So, um, what’s up with Drew?” she tried to pretend she didn’t care but was actually dying to know if you were actually dating him, not that you noticed it.

“Who?”

“Drew? Starkey?”

“Oh, yeah, Drew,” you chuckled, silly you for forgetting your own friend. “He’s just a friend, a really good friend,” was it your imagination or did she just let out a breath of relief. “What about Ashley?” you asked before taking a sip of your coffee. 

She smiled at you, “She’s also a really good friend.”

“So, um…”

“Listen, Y/n…”

The both of you chuckled. 

“You go first, Flo”

That nickname. It was stupid because everyone who knew her would call her ‘Flo’, but coming out of your lips felt different. She had missed hearing her name on your lips, she had missed you. 

“I’m just going to say it, okay?” you only nodded. “I lied earlier, I’m not here for work or visiting my family. I came here to find you,” your lips parted in disbelief. “Ever since we broke things apart, I had been feeling like something was missing, Y/n. And I recently realised it was you. Well, I saw the article about you getting married and all I could think of was that something wasn’t right.”

“Florence I…”

“No, please let me finish,” she cut you off. “I understand that  we are strangers to each other, but I would love to get to know you once again. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, it can be like a fresh start. I just really need you in my life, Y/n. I miss my best friend.”

You took another sip of your coffee, stealing time before giving her an answer. The truth was you already knew what you wanted, you knew it the moment you sat at the table, but you wanted to mess with her just a little bit. 

You put your cup down, and finally your eyes found hers, “I would like nothing more.”

[...]

Ever since that day, Florence and you had been spending everyday together. Catching up with each other and going back to old habits. 

The more you hang out with her, the more you could feel your old feeling coming back. But you didn’t want to rush things just to ruin them again. But one particular afternoon you couldn't hold back anymore and decided to do something about it. 

She had fallen asleep 30 minutes ago, you chuckled as you realised her current state because she had picked out the movie but turns out she was more tired than what she let you see. 

You headed to your small studio and decided to get back to the song you were working on before running into Florence. You  knew exactly what you wanted to say, having found your new inspiration a few weeks ago. 

You pressed play and the music started playing, you already had a few things written down in your notebook you just needed to put all your ideas together. 

You were so lost and immersed in finishing the song, going at it back and forth, changing some lyrics, singing some ideas, writing and crossing out some bits, that you didn’t realise someone was watching you just when you were about to finish. 

You had already recorded the whole song and were just checking it out when Florence leaned in the frame door. 

Florence smiled as she listened to your sweet voice. She wondered who this song was about. 

Knew her when I was young, reconnected when we were little bit older

Both sprung, I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders

She didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Reputation precedes me, in rumors, I'm knee-deep

The truth is, it’s easier to ignore it, believe me

She felt her heart shrinking in her chest.

Even when we'd argue, we'd not do it for long

And you understand the good and bad end up in the song

She listened closely to the song as you hummed to it.

For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Her heartbeat and body temperature were rising.

I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny

After the storm, something was born on the 4th of July

I've passed days without fun, this end game is the one

With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it

She couldn't take it any longer. 

“I like it,” she said, getting closer to where you were sitting. “It’s catchy,” she said, trying to shake her feeling away. That song could be about anyone.

“I feel like something’s missing,” you scrunch your nose.

“Sing the corus to me, please,” she looked at you with her doe eyes and you swear you could have melted in that moment. 

You shook your head with a smile on your face and compiled, “I wanna be your endgame, endgame,” you finished singing the chorus. “And then it goes. Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah,” you sang, trying to not look at Florence. 

“You know, it sounds awfully familiar,” she teased, wanting nothing more than for it to be true. 

“And you heard about me, ooh. I got some big enemies,” you kept on going.

“What are you trying to say, Y/n?” she kept on pushing you. 

“Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation, ah. And I heard about you, ooh. You like the bad ones, too,” you finished, trying to tell her that you were thinking exactly what she was thinking. 

She was so close to you now, her knees brushing against yours, sending electricity throughout your body. You could feel her hot breath on your lips. 

“I want to…” she didn’t finish her sentence because you were already nodding and she smashed her lips to yours in a second. 

You felt as if a wave of cold water was washing over you. Her lips felt both familiar and new at the same time. You felt at home as she wrapped her arm around your waist and her other hand cupped your cheek. You didn’t want to ever stop kissing her, but both you and her needed to breathe so ultimately pulled apart. 

She rested her forehead on yours, both of her hands cupping your cheeks, caressing your skin with her fingertips. 

“I wanna be your endgame,” you quietly sang to her. 

She chuckled before kissing you again and again and again. 

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! &lt;3

-M

[ghostwriter-of-silly-things]

Time To Crawl Into A Hole And Die

Word Count: 2,320

Warnings: um.. cringe writing? (/hj), emetophobia warning

let me know if anything needs to be tagged

Benjamin made a noise, then rolled over. He was lying on one of the less icy couches in the place, using my freshly washed army jacket as a blanket. Although the couch still crunched underneath him. 

  I laughed quietly to myself. "Hey, sleepyhead." I seriously thought I was going to get whacked round the head for that, but nothing happened. Maybe he was too tired. Benjamin opened one of his eyes a crack and looked at me. Then, he closed it again. 

  "What day is it?" Benjamin said blearily, his voice sounding like he had just eaten a load of chocolate. 

  "Still the same day it was when you passed out," I answered. 

  Benjamin rolled onto his back. "Ugh. I'm tired. How am I still tired? This is getting old." I guessed this was more of a rhetorical question, and stayed silent. Benjamin stretched his legs and arms out on the couch and lay there, staring at the ceiling. 

  "So," I began, then realized I didn't have anything to say. 

  "... Yeah," came the flat response. "We haven't been 'destroyed' by the hockey guy yet then?"

  "Apparently not." Silence filled in the gaps in our conversation, if it could even be called that. Muffled noises from the other room joined it, possibly Cal's beloved hockey. He had shown me to a mini laundromat, where I could finally clean my oil-soaked clothes. It was nice to be back in something that didn't crackle when I moved. Also, the detergent smelled good. I had to get the brand they used off of one of them. 

  "Is, uh... this your jacket?" Benjamin asked tentatively, after he'd looked down to assess the new weight he felt on his torso. I answered in the affirmative. "Do you... want it back? I'm fine without it, and we really don't need you getting frostbite right now." Benjamin turned over to look at me, and I couldn't help noticing how much younger he looked like this. It was weird.

  There was also a kind of... pallor to him. Almost sickly. Once you got past how intimidating he was, it didn't look like there was much there. 

  I hadn't recognized it until now, but Benjamin radiated a kind of old energy, like he had had to grow up too fast, and had way too many responsibilities to keep up with. In fairness, keeping me from dying had been a full-time job since we had met. But now, when he was only half awake and not actively trying to repel everyone, it softened. The worry lines on his face had relaxed. He seemed sadder too. That stoic façade he put up was clearly hiding something, and I knew all about that. It was definitely something to do with the death of his family. I knew about that too. And if that's the only family he had apart from his godly parent, again, like me, we must be more similar then he first realized. I stared at Benjamin, as if by doing so I might telepathically gain memories, and wondered what else we had in common. 

  "Hey," I said out of the blue. "Out of interest, how old are you?"

  "Well, I'm... uh.. 16," Benjamin said, then stopped. "What about you?" He said it quieter, as if anyone else hearing him would cause a natural disaster. 

  "I'm 15," I said proudly. After all, I had survived this long without getting brutally murdered by a mythical monster, and without a magic camp. That had to count for something. "Also, yes I would like my jacket back, it's below freezing in here."

  The corners of Benjamin's mouth went up at this. "Can't handle the cold, then, Fire Boy?"

  I faltered. "I -" I didn't take my jacket back yet. I ran hot, obviously, because of the... fire thing, and I could stand the cold better than most, but that comment dropped the temperature by ten degrees. I didn't like to think about the fire, and I hated that nickname. But I cracked a smile. "No, I'm fine, but I need it to complete my carefully constructed outfit. Don't you see how fashionable I am? The grease stains really added to it, but it was getting a little boring." I yanked my jacket off Benjamin, pulled it on, twirled around and posed like a model. "Just look at me. I ooze fashionista vibes, right?"

  Benjamin laughed. Well, more of a half-hearted chuckle, but I didn't really care. I had made him laugh, an achievement in itself. He was half asleep, but it still counted. It was kind of sweet, different than I'd thought it would be - given his normal demeanour. Benjamin's eyes lit up as he laughed, holding a hand up to cover his mouth, eyes crinkled up with amusement. He hardly seemed like the grumpy guy who had kept me from accidentally killing myself a few times the night prior, with random anvils falling from broken or fraying ropes, fire spurting from weird place that I hadn't heard because I was actually focused for once. That was a world away from what was in front of me.

  A world away from stony glares and clipped remarks. A world away from crossed arms and eye rolls. A world away from the weight of everything a demigod had to carry, and even though I was new to this, I knew it was a lot. 

  So I just sat and watched the laughter lines etched on Benjamin's face as they faded and his eyes became heavy and lidded again. I watched as Benjamin scanned the room before settling deeper into his depression on the couch, folding his arms into him in an attempt to stay warm. 

  "Oh shit," Benjamin whispered, eyes wide, and clamped a hand over his mouth as he gagged, miming slowly but frantically for something to throw up in. I hastily grabbed the nearest thing -- a frostbitten vase that was probably more expensive than Cal's entire collection of hockey gear -- and shoved it in the other boy's vicinity.

  He grabbed it, and held it under his mouth while he vomited at least three times over the side of the couch. Groaning, he flopped back onto the couch cushions and wiped his mouth on his hoodie. "I hate this," he mumbled. "So gross."

  Benjamin turned to make eye contact with me. "Thanks."

  We stayed like that for a while, and I didn't want to disturb the moment where I felt like maybe he didn't actually hate me. He'd just been so.. grumpy. Irritable. Cold.

  He was like that with Jason and Piper, too, but it still felt more than a little personal. And maybe it was. Maybe he just disliked me, personally, and honestly I could get why he would. I wasn't the easiest person to be friends with. Maybe he was just like that with everyone. Being a demigod wasn't the easiest life, to say the least, and I'd only been living it a few days. Maybe it was easier to just be angry with the world. 

  But maybe, secretly, he did actually like me. Even just a little bit. And maybe that was a nice thought to hang on to. 

  Benjamin yawned widely, covering his mouth, and his eyes dropped, and a new expression overtook his face. Confusion, shock, but also something else, something I couldn't quite place.

  Then, he spoke, softly, and I almost didn't catch his next words, mumblings of a sleep-addled brain: "You have... nice eyes."

  He dropped asleep again after that, but I heard what he had been trying to hide. There was something so deeply sad in the tone of voice when Benjamin said those words, the sound made my heart ache. It was like he had been talking to someone else. 

  My eyes widened as I processed the words that had so easily tumbled from Benjamin's mouth. Granted, like I had reminded myself over and over in the short time he had been awake, Benjamin was tired, sleep deprived, and in between naps, but that still didn't mean that he hadn't meant it. Did I have nice eyes? They were brown. Normal. No different from most people. But... they were pretty. Maybe. Hopefully. What color were Benjamin's eyes? I should have paid more attention. Should I have?

  But I felt heat spread into my cheeks. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, except my mom... but that didn't count and she was gone. I was reeling. And from such a small thing too. Was this normal? Was I sick? Maybe a cold? Was I delirious? 

  I hoped not. Then my nose caught fire, and I spent a good few minutes trying not to: a) set anything on fire, b) not break anything while panicking trying to put it out, and c) wake Benjamin up during said shenanigans. I knocked a frozen brass pot to the floor, which immediately shattered onto the ice. I was thoroughly startled and opted to sweep it under the couch with my foot, but thankfully Benjamin didn't wake up. 

  I realized, after a few seconds, that I was sat on the Festus Block. I busied myself with unfolding Festus while I waited for Jason and Piper to come back. While also not overthinking anything that was said to me at all. 

When Jason and Piper came back down to the entry hall, Cal, Benjamin and I were waiting for them, Benjamin looking considerably less knocked out and me considerably cleaner. Festus was also awake again, snorting fire over his scales to keep himself defrosted. As I saw the girl again, I couldn't help but to loose all sense of rationality, and all I could think about was her.

  I watched her walk down the stairs, combing my hair back through my fingers in an effort to look more presentable. She was so lovely, and I was convinced I was going to finally get a date. It had to happen sometime, right? Benjamin grunted beside me, probably disparaging at my crush on her. 

  At the bottom step, she turned to Piper. "You have fooled my father, girl. But you when not fooled me. We are not done. And you Jason Grace, I will see you as a statue into he the one room soon enough."

  "Boreas is right," Jason said, his disdain evident, "You're a spoiled kid. See you around, ice princess."

  Her dark eyes flared pure white. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stormed back up the stairs, tossing her beautiful shiny hair behind her before turning into a blizzard halfway up and disappearing. To me, it was still beautiful. 

  "Be careful," Zethes warned. "She never forgets and insult."

  Cal grunted in agreement. "Bad sister."

  I couldn't see what was so bad about her. How could someone so pretty be bad? 

  "She's the goddess of snow. What's she going to, throw snowballs at us?" Jason said. 

  I looked, devastated, at the stairs where she had left. "What happened up there? You made her mad? Is she mad at me, too? Guys, that was my prom date!"

  "We'll explain later," Piper promised. 

  Benjamin shifted from foot to foot, and shivered. I had got the impression that he didn't like the cold. I looked over, and saw the stony expression had taken it's space back on Benjamin's face He had folded his hands under his arms in an effort to stay warmer but it was still so cold his breath was visible. 

  I looked back at my friends. Jason looked away from Piper. "Yeah," he agreed. "we'll explain later."

  "Be careful, pretty girl," Zethes said. "The winds between here and Chicago are bad-tempered. Many other evil things are stirring. I am sorry you will not be staying. You would make a lovely ice statue in which I could check my reflection"

  "Thanks. But I'd sooner play hockey with Cal," she responded. 

  "Hockey?" Cal's eyes lit up. 

  "Joking," she said quickly. "And the storm spirits aren't our worst problem, are they?"

  "Oh, no," Zethes agreed. "Something else. Something worse."

  "Worse," Cal echoed. 

  "Can you tell me?" Piper gave them a smile. 

  This time her charm didn't work. The purple-winged Boreads shook their heads in unison. The hangar doors opened onto a freezing starry night, and Festus the dragon stomped his feet, eager to fly. 

  "Ask Aeolus what is worse," Zethes said darkly. "He knows. Good luck."

  He almost sounded like he cared what happened to us, even though a few minutes ago he'd wanted to turn Piper into an ice sculpture. 

  Cal patted Benjamin and I on our shoulders. Benjamin visible tensed up, looking wildly uncomfortable at the sudden touch. "Don't get destroyed. Next time -- hockey. Pizza."

  I had spent a bit watching hockey with Cal after Benjamin had fallen asleep again. It was pretty fun, actually. I did have to watch out for stray limbs. Cal caught my arm a couple times, which would probably bruise. 

  "Come on, guys," Jason stared out at the dark. "Let's go to Chicago and try not to get destroyed."

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[zanarkandfayth]

Writing Meme: First Line Patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @ivorydice, thank you <3

I ignored the rules to make up my own lmao. Doing twelve fics I like a lot rather than the last ten, particularly because I'd like a wider time range to see how things have changed. The actual last ten would just be the first two and then all eight of the fics I did for fatherly love week in 2021 :/ Most of which were written in a very stress-filled, sleepless week right before the deadline haha. Going back to some of my earliest ffxv fics will be more interesting; curious to see how they all start because I know I usually try to make the opening line intriguing, but not always.

o1. "Chocobos! Noct, look at the sign, they have chocobos! Can we go see them?" || Ameliorate

o2. Ignis sighs as he puts his foot on the brake, resisting the strong temptation to close his eyes and bow his head against the steering wheel for a moment. || The Monsters Running Wild

o3. Ding! The noise of the first one cuts loudly through the quiet of his room, rousing him from a heavy slumber, but right now he's more asleep than awake, his eyes still closed. It's easy to ignore. || From That First Moment

o4. "Alright. Ready to not get your ass kicked today?" || Where They Should Be

o5. Noct hesitates, staring with dread at the panel of buttons before him. || Where It Matters Less

o6. The thick, metallic smell of blood is still lingering in Noct's nose when he wakes with a gasp, eyes flying open, wide and startled as he looks unseeing around him. || Everything

o7. "Hey, wanna go to the arcade today?" Prompto slings a friendly arm around Noct as he asks the question, a bright grin across his face as he waits hopefully for the answer. || Heavy is the Burden

o8. Insomnia is a mess. || Under Grey Skies

o9. Coming to this party was a mistake. || Six Ways from Sunday

1o. It starts happening the day Insomnia falls. || The Shadows Growing Tall

11. "I feel like my feet are going to fall off," Prompto whines as they all trudge back to the Regalia. || Dark Corners

12. The first time everyone thinks Prompto and Cor meet is when Prompto is sixteen. || What Lies Below

...so the only two I actually wish had better openings are monsters and heavy. which makes sense. monsters I just started writing at random because at that point it was supposed to be a one-shot and also never shared with anyone other than the bestie. so I didn't care where I started it.

heavy I, uh, stole the opening from nano/aftermath fic LOL. because nanofic was only a chapter and some change then, with a horrible idea I hated, and I thought I was never gonna come back to it so I might as well repurpose the few bits of it that were good. now I have a better idea and I'm actually writing it... but I still haven't changed the opening a whole lot. they're just gonna be similar forever. oh well.

but the rest feel like they either did a decent job at being an interesting hook or at least not being super boring or something. though I feel like I maybe had stronger hooks in my earlier fics, hmm. damn you brain fog.

oh, tagging... hhh I usually never tag people for these things because I am awkward and dunno who is okay with being tagged. so low-key no pressure ignore if you want mutual-tagging @quartzguts, @smallest-turtle, @breakfastteatime, @every-lemon, @elidelio, @thisfairytalegonebad, @tumbleloon, aaaaaand... whoever else is a writer that wants to do this.

[invinciblerodent]

Writing Interview Tag Game

Tagged by @ra-scheln – thank you dear! ❤️

When did you start writing?

I feel like there is almost never a set date for anyone- I never really considered myself a writer, I still don't fully embrace it as a label any more than I do many others, but it's very much in that "technically true" vein of things- I don't think of myself as a writer, but I do write, and have been writing most of my life.

The first story I ever consciously remember writing was a lengthy (and objectively terrible) story I wrote around the time I was maybe 11 or thereabouts, though- kind of a fairytale paranormal romance before I would have ever found out what that meant, involving wisecracking frogs, and the three little pigs, and some sort of an ancient curse, and it stretched quite luxuriously across roughly 120 single-spaced pages that -true to form for me- were never posted anywhere.

It was utterly gratuitous, masturbatory, filled with the most horrible purple prose in existence, and I will never stop feeling regretful over losing it to a simple hardware upgrade.

I really wish I could re-read it now, at 30, and maybe get back a little bit of that unapologetic confidence and drive to just write what the fuck ever I feel like writing, without feeling the eyes of an imaginary critic burning holes into the back of my head.

Are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

While I'm most interested in writing navel-gaze-y, introspective character-pieces and romance/fantasy (romantasy? is that what the kids are calling it now?), I do like to consider myself an omnivore, when it comes to reading.

I generally read a lot of literary- and historical fiction, SF, fantasy, a couple thrillers here and there- though there are topics I don't gravitate towards, I don't exactly discriminate against any genre, and I try to keep a varied diet of pulp- and high-brow literature alike, lol.

Some books I've really loved over these past few years are (hold on, scanning my shelf here) Min Jin Lee's "Pachinko", Ursula K. Le Guin's "The Left Hand of Darkness", Raphael Bob-Waksberg's "Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory", and Iona Grey's "Letters to the Lost". That's an award-winning saga novel, a genre classic, a contemporary collection of short stories, and a very good romance novel, lol.

Although I do admit, reading tends to fall by the wayside in my most active writing periods, which is whenever I get super absorbed in a particular video game, lol.

Can you tell me about your writing space?

I don't actually have a dedicated writing space. Over the past while, I've realized that I most like writing by hand, in coffee shops mainly- which may make me look a touch obnoxious, but it's just the way my brain and hand work the best together. (I handwrite slower than I type, so it's easier to get into that ~~flow~~ state because I have time to think without pausing, and with the background noise being just at the right level, I can babysit an americano for hours at a time.) If I'm writing on the computer, it generally falls more into the realm of editing.

I don't exactly have a preference when it comes to the space itself, but the stationery is crucial. I'm very particular about the pen I use (it has to be a Zebra Superfine H-5000- I've been using them exclusively for like ten years now, and unfortunately you can't really get refills for them, but they're like a dollar each, and they last bloody forever), and slightly less particular about notebooks, but I still have strong preferences there too (lined paper, hard cover, not terribly ugly- which is harder to find than one would think).

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don't typically try on a conscious level, but sometimes, just that dedicated action of putting my notebook away, and walking to the coffee shop gets the words rolling. Often I find myself starting to tell myself the story on the way, and then I'm kind of playing catch-up with myself, once I actually get there.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing?

Disappointment, mostly. "Wasted" potential, reclamation of personal choice, and the deeply personal act of mourning the self that died so that another may live. What-ifs, maybes, could-have-beens. The things we want to want.

.................. also dicks. Dicks are a big part of it.

What is your reason for writing?

There's no real reason, I think. I thought about this one for a long time, but I can't phrase it any better than prev: the words just have to go somewhere.

Besides, if I'm not writing, I'm crafting. If I'm not crafting, I'm drawing. If I'm not drawing, I'm designing, baking, making something. I'm always making something.

Is there any kind of specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I haven't published much of my writing over the past few years, but from what I've gotten, "It feels like you really know this character" is the comment I keep coming back to in my mind.

I got that one on a silly, smutty fic from like 2016, and it really gave me pause. It really got stuck in my mind.

It's been many years since, and I still catch myself smiling whenever I write a line of dialogue that feels quintessential to a particular character. I found that really encouraging.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I... I'm still kind of unpacking whether I want to be thought about at all. Whether I want to be perceived. You know, the terrifying ordeal of being known, and all that.

I think the way I want to be known is how a pet fish knows its owner, you know? Like I arrive occasionally, at a reliable, if nebulous time, and they kind of have a vague idea of what I am, but mostly I just bring them food, dump it in the water, and disappear while they voraciously consume whatever it was that was dumped in there.

If goldfish were terminally horny and could leave comments but expected no response, they'd be the ideal audience for me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I want to say maybe... evocative imagery, and dialogue. I like to get somewhat poetic with my descriptions and I feel like I'm rather good at grasping somewhat powerful images through minute details, that's something I know I have a lot of fun writing. I also enjoy the process of trying to find words that feel like they sit right in a certain character's mouth.

If someone were to actually say "he would not fucking say that" to me, I think I would mentally walk into the nearest ocean.

How do you feel about your own writing?

.... Insecure. Apologetic. Fearful, in a way I'm well aware I shouldn't be.

I have tried to blame the fact that English is my second language, and there is a kernel of truth in there, but I know that's... kind of bullshit. I know my linguistic prowess is not exactly the issue here (if I may, bigger idiots than me have done it, I've a darling friend who can absolutely testify), it's literally just the confidence that I lack.

I'm also apologetic in tagging, or promoting my work whenever I do end up posting something, because I know it's not going to have mass appeal, or I know it's not going to be interesting to a lot of people even of the ones following me, and that completely undue, asinine embarrassment is definitely holding me back within my writing as well.

This is why I enjoy handwriting most I think, because that, I know is for me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

It's purely for myself, and this ties into the previous answer- I know I write my best when it's utterly self-indulgent. But that's also the shit that makes me feel the most naked emotionally, so it's hard to bring myself to want to subject myself to any kind of scrutiny.

This really is the fucking duality of man, to crave validation but hiss and sneer at anything that might invite it, lol.

Anyway, I think if you guys are up for it, I'd like to tag @sketchyelvenasss and @lindira, and of course anyone who feels like it. ❤️

(Please do excuse me for the copious amounts of whining in this post lol, I have realized in myself that once I come closer to filling a new notebook I always get a bit emotional about my stuff, and I've like 10 pages left on my current one. Prime angsting-time.)

[salsedine]

🙤 Enjoyable Things 🙧

Tagged by @greypetrel , thank you! 💙✨

Rules: List five things you enjoy and pass it along!

1. 💧Water / the sea : the element I find most at home with. It's comforting and terrifying, as Nature often is. I like the deep-sea creepy fishes, I like swimming, I like books that get all poetic about water, and I like just walking by the seaside and watch the waves for a bit. It helps that I live very close to it, plus my father taught me how to swim very early. I'm not the strongest swimmer, and I hate that I don't have lungs strong enough to dive deeper than three or four meters, but I still get a deep sense of satisfaction and 'wholeness' every time I go for a swim after a week of filling excel tables.

2. 🧭 History and Art History : well, this will surprise no one lol. Got a MA in 'modern and contemporary history' and sometimes I wonder if I should get another one. I mostly specialized in the late medieval to modern period (Renaissance is my thing, yes) and then in the XIX-XXth century. I like museums and galleries, ruins and monuments, and old books. I actually wanted to specialize in museology/museum studies with either a thesis concerning accessibility, or on museums' role in preserving and creating memory.

Do I watch a lot of period dramas? Yes. Do I give imaginary lectures in my head when I'm bored? Maybe so.

3. 🫀 Dance : kind of a sore topic, but still. I practiced a lot of sports, but foremost I was (am?) a dancer. Mostly jazz/modern and contemporary dance, which is one of the closest forms of therapy beside actual therapy. And no, I don't mean it like some kind of " you should try to meditate!!1" thing, but as a "you need to allow other people to see you. While you improvise there should be no judgement because shame is the antithesis of creativity. If done with intention and full presence, the smallest gesture can be meaningful because there is you behind it" sort of thing.

Currently I don't take dance classes -but I still remember exercises and routines that I learnt more than ten years ago when I first started and I was in elementary school. Damn.

4. ✉️ Gift-giving : maybe it's a fancy birthday gift, maybe it's a silly thing from a market's stall, maybe it's something spontaneous - I just love picking and giving gifts. I'm not saying that I'm the best ever at it, I'm sure I fucked up many times, but when you see that the other person really likes the gift(s)? Pure serotonin. Love it!

5. 📷 Analog/Film photography : it was my Thing TM during my teenage years. I still love the almost alchemical process behind it, and the physical aspect too - once it's printed it's printed, you can't accidentally delete it. I like how, even with all the theory and practice, the outcome is always slightly unpredictable. And portraiture? Portraits taken on film are something special.

Too bad it's expensive, ugh.

Now, tag time! Maybe @birdkeeperklink is in a sharing mood? No pressure tho! 🌸

[petruchio]

Twenty Questions: Fic Author Edition

@caesarflickermans tagged me to do this a little while ago and i'm procrastinating doing some actual writing so here goes

1-How many works do you have on ao3?

ten

2-What's your total AO3 word count?

105,385

3-What fandoms do you write for?

hunger games always! and i wrote a few pjo fics last summer

4-What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

we’ll fill our mouths with cinnamon

the birds were singing of you

flowers never bend with the rainfall

under the blossom that hangs on the bough

simple song

5-Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! sometimes i get overwhelmed when a comment is too nice and i want to give it a thoughtful answer and then i procrastinate answering because i don't feel like i have the energy to be thoughtful enough to show how honestly genuinely grateful i am that someone left the comment and then it spirals and i just never reply lol. but i try to at least say thank you to most people because it really does mean so much to me when people comment on my work

6-What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am a happy ending girlie at the end of the day but probably flowers because like, things are not going to get better in that au

7-What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably simple song because it is just pure self indulgent romance. but maybe my post mj fic too because we know what happens next and it is happy

8-Do you get hate on fics?

hate is a strong word but one time i did write that one short post mj fic and people responded by being like "i don't like this" and i was like ... okay haha. oh and one time someone bookmarked my pjo fic and said it could've been better written but the idea was good and i was like meh i'll take it. (i was actually super offended at the time and i was like fully prepared to delete my entire archive over the comment but im over it now lol.)

9-Do you write smut? If so what kind?

no. i try to kind of fade to black or allude to sex because i do feel like it sometimes has relevancy to the plot but i don't really have an interest in writing it in detail

10-Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13-Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no

14-What's your all-time favorite ship?

katniss/peeta

15-What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ugh my district 4 au. i have it outlined in such excruciating detail and i have so many scenes that i think would be so fun to write but i just cannot get the beginning to gel and i don't think it ever will

16-What are your writing strengths?

i'm not sure whether to interpret the question as what i think is good *in my writing* or what my strengths are in my process, so i guess i'll try to do both!! i think style-wise i do a nice job of trying to weave the thematic/symbolic threads in my stories together so that they conclude in a way that makes sense from the outset, and i think i have some nice moments of descriptive writing. as far as process, i think i write relatively strong first drafts which definitely makes the editing process more enjoyable

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

style-wise i think i can write some real clunky dialogue (who among us, lol) and i don't always get my pacing right. i also think i have a tendency to repeat certain words or sentence structures too much and i often will skip over things when i am not interested in them and then not edit enough to notice where the story is dragging vs where i'm skipping things. process-wise, i can be slow to think of an initial concept and then when i do have an idea i sometimes get more invested in the outline and the general plot and then i can get very easily bored if the actual writing isn't fun or it's taking a while to get to the scenes i want to write.

18-Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i don't speak any other language with an appropriate degree of fluency so i wouldn't, but i don't think it would really come up in any of my projects

19-First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson <3 my iconic ff.net era

20-Favorite fic you've ever written?

under the blossom that hangs on the bough. it does pretty much everything i set out for it to do and i'm very proud of it. there's a couple lines i would change just because i think i wrote them kind of clunky and awkward but overall i think it's probably my best work.

i'll tag @districtunrest @rosegardeninwinter

[amethystunarmed]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @marypsue for tagging me! (I'm sorry it is so late) This got VERY long, so I will put it under a cut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

54, my god.

2. What’s your total word count?

188,134. Which seems both enormous and not enough lol.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, I'm in a major Hatchetfield kick. Those musicals have me by the throat. But I am also working on a Stranger Things series too! However, I'm probably most known for my My Hero Academia stuff, I know a couple of those absolutely did numbers when I wasn't looking.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

Oh I'm pretty sure I know. *checks Statistics* Yep I was right. My top five (and six and seven) are all from my Truth series, which is a MHA Dabihawks AU where Hawks joins the League of Villains.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try! Sometimes I get overwhelmed and fall behind but I swear I always read them and love them and am so touched.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ummmm... Deadass, I think it was the first fic I ever posted, back in high school. It was a Doctor Who fanfic, about a Weeping Angel who feel in love with a human, and tried to stop killing for him, but was so hungry she ended up killing him instead. It's almost ten years old, but you can find it here.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I am once go back deep in my archives for this one. Back in 2015, I posted a Supernatural fic that was pure fluff, Karaoke. It was my idea of a series finale where everything was beautiful for once. Riiiiip.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I definitely have before, but only like once or twice and I immediately blocked them. It is always heartbreaking though. :(

9. Do you write smut?

Once that I posted! Though I may have an unfinished draft or two, lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, absolutely! My crossover tend to be characters experiencing scenarios from other universes, rather than character meeting.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Mostly by the AO3 scraping stuff, though I have found some suspicious posts with stuff from the Truth series on other sites, but nothing really definite.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and I dropped my phone when the request came in. I was so excited.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah I have!!! My go-to partner in crime is @little-engineer-who-cant, we've been writing together since middle school.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god, this is hard. Ummm... I suppose the first ship I ever really super got into was Ten/Rose in Doctor Who, so it holds a special place in my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Honestly, one I really loved was an Adventure Zone Wicked au. There were a lot of great concepts in that one, but I never really got anywhere with it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! I love dialogue. It tends to be what I write first and then I go back and fill in the blanks.

I feel like I'm also pretty good at exploring concepts, like, taking things to their furthest extreme and exploring what it means in the universe.

Also angst. I love angst.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I just want you all to know what I am seeing in my head, not have to describe it. I really have to work at imagery, and making scenes feel alive.

Also fuck fight scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I would do it if I felt confident that I or another person could edit it to be accurate. If I am google translating or something, I'd rather just do English italics or say what characters the language are speaking. I don't want to butcher another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As mentioned previously, the first fic I published was for Doctor Who but god as a kid I wrote myself into stories all the time! Should have known I'd end up a writer. Probably Yu-Gi-Oh or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Ohhhhhh these are so hard. Ummmm... To be honest, I am so incredibly proud of I Need a Shovel to Love Him. It is one of my recent Hatchetfield fics and is an exploration of grief, and it probably the closest a piece of writing has ever been to exactly what I pictured in my head when I wrote it.

But! Trying to ignore the bias for recent works, So Few Men Can Carry It is probably up there. It is an OC focused story in the Truth universe, and I loved discussing healthcare in a world with professional superheroes and plan to do more original stuff with that concept, because I love it so much.

I'm going to tag @little-engineer-who-cant again, as well as @snarky-wallflower and @starpirateee. (Does anyone else like to be included in these? I need to make a list!)

[biwritesfics]

Constellations of Us

Part 1: The Big Bang

2K words

AN: This is a very self-indulgent marauders fanfiction. It has many queer ships including eventual WolfStar x Female OC the others will be listed in the tags. I tried my best on the French I deeply apologize to everybody that actually knows the language.

Summary: Arabella Canis didn’t want to transfer to another school for her fifth year but after a certain incident her father will have nothing else. Ten lives are connected through love, hate, and war. A constellation of souls written in the sky. The question is, will they paint the heavens or go down in flames?

⚠️ warning minor mention of death and a crappy dad⚠️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cracking sounds filled the foyer as the house elves moved my luggage for school. I had only been in the new house a week. I hadn't seen Papa once, he was too busy with his new ambassador position. Seemingly so busy that he wasn't coming to say goodbye. My thoughts are interrupted by a loud bang. The sound of my father's assistant Tarte apparating.

“Your father sends his regards Miss Bella. I'm terribly sorry that he couldn't make it.” “Its alright Tarte,” I say trying to muster up a smile for the elderly house elf. He pulls a small box out of his red velvet suit jacket. Tarte always dressed sharply and colorfully. He wore a blue tie that matched his eyes. The ribbon on the box was the same color.

“Lord Canis had me buy this for you.” I take it having a fairly good idea of what it is in mind. I untie the ribbon in one smooth motion, and place it in my pocket. My focus moves to the little velvety box. It pops open with a crisp snap. A grin spreads across my face the moment I see the contents. It's an ornate little silver charm in the shape of a unicorn. I kneel down and embrace Tarte feeling tears thick in the back of my throat

“Thank you,” I whisper, pulling away from the hug. I look down to admire the charm. Suddenly my eyes snap up in recognition “You remembered my wand core,” my heart melts realizing the connection. Tarte nods his head blushing nearly the same shade as his suit. “I could never forget Madame Bella. I was present the day you received it.”

“If Papa forgets to pay you send an owl and i’ll send one to Gringotts. Papa transferred the family vault and my funds too.” I remind him sternly knowing he would never ask otherwise. He nods, “I best be off Madame, I wish you luck” With a jaunty little bow and a jarring sound he's gone.

“Madame It's just you and the cat now” Amie, my personal house elf says tugging on my sleeve. I look down startled “Oh my how did I let it get so late? Have Pluie grab Bonbon while I fasten this and we’ll be off” She scurries off to get Pluie while I fasten my charm to my bracelet. I have three others already. My first initial, a clementine, and the Eiffel tower.

Pluie comes down the stairs with Bonbon, my Persian cat. She's practically spilling out of the small elf’s arms. The feline leaps down and bounds over to me. I pick her up and bury my face in her fur. I'm sure she's covering my black robes in hair but I'm too content to mind. I would definitely miss the Beauxbatons uniforms, along with other things, but this was going to be just fine. Hogwarts was going to be just fine, I remind myself.

Amie smiles up at me offering her hand. I take it clutching Bonbon close to my chest. No matter how many times I rode along with the elves I could never quite prepare myself for the pulling and twisting sensation of apparating. After a few moments of the most genuinely disorienting experience,we’re standing on platform 9 ¾. There are only a few stragglers left saying their final goodbyes. “Be careful Ellas we need you back in one piece” Amie warns me as she hugs my leg. That was goodbye.

I make it onto the train just in time, I'm last to board. Once Amie is out of site I begin peeking into train cars but they're all full four to a bench. Well there's one with space but the students inside glare at me when they see my face in the window. Green ties, Slytherin. I'm about to give up hope when I find one that has a seat to the far left.

I move Bonbon to one arm and open the door. The occupants looked startled. “Pardon me, I'm sorry to bother you when you're already full but the only other car with an empty seat is filled with very unhappy Slytherins.” My accent is even thicker than usual because of my nerves. “Of course! Come on in we have an extra seat.” A redheaded girl waves me in.

I smile, finally relaxing a bit. The boy at the window seat slides over and closes his book. “You’re welcome to the seat but be warned the other two are whinging terribly because our dear friend is finally showing some independence,” he feigns disdain at the two dark-haired boys to his right. “It's not independence Moony, it's betrayal!” Exclaims a beautiful black-haired boy as he lays back dramatically on the more serious boy.

I giggle and sit down while the two boys bicker. “I'm Lily Evans” the redhead introduces herself.”I'm Arabella Canis I have more nicknames than I can keep up with so I respond to anything.” Lily laughs. “I'll introduce you to the guys,” she starts. “The boy currently fighting for his life is Remus Lupin and the drama queen torturing him is Sirius Black. The one that looks like someone kicked his Puppy is James Potter. The poor soul they're all fussing over is Peter Pettigrew. He's a sweetheart, he's just sitting with his girlfriend.”

“This is not a “just” situation Evans, my mate is slipping away!” the boy exclaims running his hands through his already wild curls. The model-like girl next to Lily rolls her eyes twirling her braids between her Fingers. “I'm Dorcus Meadows, the girl in the window seat beaming at you like a Maniac is Mary McDonald. We swear she's sweet, we just need to work on her socialization.” she jokes with a wicked twinkle in her eye. “Oh shush Dorie!” the girl says in a strong Yorkshire accent. “Did you come from Beauxbatons Arabella? I don’t recognize you, and your accent is lovely!”

“Thank you! I am, my father had to transfer for work so I did too.” “Ooh pretty and French Sirius doesn't stand a chance once he's done sulking. I'm Marlene Mckinnon, pleased to meet you” the sandy-haired girl greets me. Remus’s face twists into a vicious scowl but only for a moment, I almost think I imagine it. “Same to you but I'm sure I’ll scare him off quite easily.” I'm usually so much more reserved around strangers but their mirth is contagious.

“I am both offended and intrigued by this conversation ladies but I'm sad to announce I am celibate. no snogging, not even hand-holding. The female population of Hogwarts must carry on without me.” Sirius gave the speech like it was a eulogy. It was followed by multiple snorts and “Sirius are you joking?” “Nope it's real and I'm doing it,” Sirius states firmly.

Dorcus pulls a small box with an open slit on the top and a drawer on the front. “Alright, who's betting on when he caves? 1 galleon minimum. Everyone, even James who was sulking, began searching their pockets and scribbling on paper. “You write your bet on the paper and fold it and Sign your name on the front. Slide it in with your coin and when the bets over the drawer opens with the prize and the winning bet. It's some complicated charmwork Lily and Dorcus cooked up to stop cheating.” Mary explains kindly.

I pull out two galleons and a small piece of parchment, Mary loans me her quill to use and I give the boy two weeks since it seems everyone else has such little faith in him. It takes a bit of maneuvering to get everything together without disturbing Bonbon who was napping in the crook of my elbow. Remus is looking at me with an expression I can’t decipher, which is unusual I’m usually quite good at reading people.

The clink of the coins hitting the bottom of the box is satisfying. “ 10 galleons James you're nuttier than a pecan fudge,” Lily exclaims as she deposits her galleon along with a couple of sickles. “Evans I'm mad for you but otherwise very sane,” James says smirking. Lily blushes a shade that rivals her hair and gestures angrily in James’s direction while everyone else giggles.

Remus checks his watch “Lily we better go meet the other Prefects it's about time,” he remarks. “Oh! yes, just one moment.” Lily pulls her robes over her uniform revealing the shiny pin attached to the chest. Remus removes his badge from his pocket and pins it on his shirt. “See you all at the feast!” Lily calls out, exiting the compartment with Remus a bit behind her.

It's only a moment but Remus looks in my eyes and I feel a shiver go down my spine. Not the bad kind, the one you got when you're so excited you can't stay still. He waves goodbye to everyone but his eyes linger on Sirius in a familiar but peculiar way I can't quite place. When he closes the door I realize what must’ve been only a moment had felt like an hour. Everyone else seemed relatively open but despite running with the rest of the group Remus seemed like a lone wolf.

I've always had frustrations with people who are hard to read.. I have a selfish and unrealistic desire to know people’s souls inside and out. I guess it's because I'll tell anyone anything if they ask, but it would be rude if Iasked some of the questions I had. Like Where did you get your scars? Did someone hurt you? Why are you so good at masking your emotions? Do you dislike me or are you like this all the time?

I’m brought out from my internal monologue by someone’s voice. “Arabella, Bella, Chaton écoutez-moi” Sirius repeats. My head snaps up blushing. It wasn’t the romantic version but still a pet name. “Je m’excuse” I apologize. “It’s time to get off” Sirius informs me, gesturing toward the station. “Oh! thankyou,” I say embarrassed that he had to tell me.

“The girls and James are waiting in the carriage” Sirius states as I stand up with Bonbon in hand. I follow him to the exit, and he steps off the train before me. He offers his hand to steady me when I step down. I can't help the fuzzy feeling it gives me despite the fact that I'm sure it's an automatic reaction. Most likely from years of etiquette that pure-blood children go through.

“Oh!” I run ahead towards the carriage the others are in. The black-winged beasts drawing it receive my affection gladly nuzzling my shoulders. I look up, James, Marlene,and Mary look shocked but Sirius and Dorcus just look a bit sad. “Is something wrong,” I ask turning back to Sirius who seems very interested in his combat boots. “No it's just,” he pauses. “You can only see thestrals if you've seen someone die,” Dorcas finishes.

“Oh, I thought that was a myth,” I whisper. I give each of the thestrals a peck on the nose and hurry into the carriage. When I step up Sirius steadies me with a hand on the small of my back. It gives me butterflies.

Merlin! Why did he have to be so pretty? All of them were gorgeous and hilarious. I spend the rest of the ride in fits of laughter.

I'm happy to observe that just about everyone is physically affectionate. It was something I could get used to. It would be nice to hug people who are taller than the house elves. James already has his arm around my shoulder. He's warm, charming, and witty. just what I imagined a brother would be like.

Sirius was dramatic and flirtatious with a wicked attitude. Marlene was kind and had a dry sense of humor that was going to be the death of me. Dorcas was all sass and sarcasm but you could tell there was no real malice in her words. Mary made bad puns and looked at everyone with adoration in her eyes. I knew right then that I had to be in Gryffindor, I had to be with them.

[ashtraythief]

How do you get so much engagement? Not in a jealous sort of way, but more in a curious way of someone who seeks tips/advice on the matter. It seems these days fandom is much more…distant than it once was and it’s a bit discouraging, you know? I can barely get any sort of engagement, either on my socials or my ao3, but to know you have such a devoted fan base (such as me!) it fills me with hope that it’s possible :)

Any tips and/or ideas?

Oh wow, first off, thank you so much for your kind words!

As for engagement, I don't know if I have much wisdom to give there. Spn fandom is definitely getting smaller, has been for years. Even when I got into it ten years ago, it was already past its prime.

Gonna share what little knowledge I have under the cut.

So I am not the right person to ask about socials lol. I have very little engagement on tumblr actually. I know it doesn't look like it right now, but usually I go months without getting asks. And then I guess sometimes whenever I get one, other people see it and remember they can send me asks? And then I just get a bunch, of which I suspect several are from the same people 😅, and then things go quiet again. Usually, most of them are related to the underneath verse, which makes sense since it's an ongoing WIP, and people have questions (that I am very happy to answer, always! Even tho I can't give anything about the ending away 😅). I used to post fic links here, but I got so little engagement I eventually gave up on that. It didn't seem worth the effort of formatting the posts, but I also have no way of knowing how many people just check ao3 and how many click on a link on tumblr.

Twitter is a little different, but it's also gotten more quiet there. The end of the show didn't help and then recent events *cough*prequelgate*cough* accelerated the decline of J2 fandom especially. But I get some interaction with fic posting there, more than on tumblr anyway, so that's where I post new fics. I think it's helpful to screenshot the summary and attach it to the post for more info. Maybe? I've never done a survey on this lol. Definitely don't be shy about retweeting and reposting for timezone purposes and on different days. Some people follow so many accounts they won't see your post otherwise.

As for fic engagement, idk. A good snappy summary, enough tags for people to get interested but no overtagging? But like, I'm a bad standard here, I think. I've been in fandom for over 10 years, I've written almost 200 fics in all kinds of genres, so people know me. I've also participated in gift exchanges, challenges and auction fics, which is also something that gives you exposure. And I was lucky that one of my first big fics was popular. So I guess a reasonable amount of people know me as a J2 author.

Also supporting my theory of being known is that I recently posted a fic in a much more active fandom and I immediately had like four times the engagement I'd usually get for J2 fics, but still much less than the popular fics in that fandom.

And not all of my spn rpf fics get a lot of engagement either. It always depends on subject matter, pairings, trends in fandom etc. If you look at my fic list, you'll see a lot of fics with few kudos for a variety of reasons.

I still write them, even if I know not a lot of people are interested in them, but I still enjoy writing them. And I always think, if there's only one person whom I brought joy with my writing, it's worth it. But I definitely understand that more feedback is also more joy and good for our egos. And I know there are people out there who don't care about that, which is valid, but I think it's also okay to care about it.

Idk if this is helpful. I can try to give more specific advice for fic things if you have more specific questions, maybe off anon if you're comfortable with it?

Otherwise, thanks for your faith in me and sorry that I have so little wisdom to share 😅

[jessfromouterspace]

@dutifullylazybread tagged me in this a few days ago and I finally finished it. I'm going to throw a few tags in, but zero pressure! Tagging: @wanderingisobel @sillyliterature @voloslobotomyservice

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav’s backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash

I'm using my wood elf ranger Mari, she's my newest Tav, and used in an ongoing fic. [this one]

(a note - all ages listed are based on dnd wood elf age ranges)

Baby: She doesn't remember where she's from, her only childhood memory is one of running through a crowded market after stealing some apples.

Parents: Left her in early adolescence, she has little to no memory of them, they weren't around much as a child

Birth: As far as she knows it was easy and uneventful

First word: No

When they first walked: She doesn't really remember, but she knows she ran more than she walked

Tantrum: As a child, all the time, she wanted what she wanted and wouldn't accept no for an answer

First sickness: Getting into some poison in her father's pack

Thunderstorm: She loves them, the air is alive, the water on her skin is soothing

Childhood: She barely remembers it, and she doesn't really care to

Friends: There was the occasional elven child to play with, but animals were always her closest friends

Siblings: None that she knows of

Birthday: Later winter/early spring

Games: Archery games, shooting dead fruit off of trees

Learning something new: Loves learning, but stubborn, hated being told she was doing something wrong or could do it 'better'

Trauma: Her parents leaving her

Teenager:

First love: She never really had more than basic crushes that she never really acted on

Rebellion: Her whole adolescence was a rebellion. Since she was alone many tried to help her, raise her, tame her. She didn't want any of it.

Running away: Ran away from anything that didn't make her happy or serve a purpose

Reckless behavior: All of it, she got in the habit of stealing from local guilds to help herself and others, it rarely worked out how she had hoped

Peer pressure: Since she was so hesitant to get close to anyone she didn't really have to worry about it

Growing pains: Trying to figure out who she was and who she wanted to be was the biggest pain point

Taking responsibility: In her 30's she really started to become aware of how her actions impacted other people and started to take a little more care

Adulthood:

Their “first time”: Actually in her late 20's, she wanted to "get it over with"

Serious relationships: None - always fleeting encounters. The closest was a fellow ranger that she'd cross paths with in her journey, they understood each other and found a great comfort in that

Work: She was always a ranger, and a thief. She started doing more honest work in her 50's, taking on contracts finding missing people. That quickly became her life's work, there was a catharsis in reuniting families.

Leaving home: The woods and the rain were always her home, she never got overly attached to one place

Aging: She's aging well, currently 183, she's still learning about herself and learning that the things she never thought possible just might be after all

Finding their place: She was finally establishing herself as someone that could truly be relied upon when she was taken. She had been tracking a lost child at the time. She still wants to go back and find out what ended up happening.

Staring a family/found family: She felt like she should be thankful for the Absolute plot because it brought her to people she will love forever. She didn't think she'd ever care for anyone and now she could fill all ten fingers with names of people she'd die for. What is blossoming with Rolan is new, exciting and absolutely terrifies her.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

It's Christmas day!

It's Christmas day and we're up around seven (ish) so we can ease our way into the morning.

What that means, of course, is that I'm the one up at seven to kick start Kimmer's morning wake-up routine by getting the coffee started.

By 'n by, I also set up a monitor in the living room to stream and play Christmas movies across the day. It's a habit we picked up many years ago when we happened to be watching "The Polar Express" in the late afternoon and then started opening presents.

We kicked off this year's tradition with "Home Alone". ☺️

In the meantime, Kimmer's finally up 'n about, getting in a final bit of baking that involves crescent dinner roll dough set onto a baking pan in the shape of a Christmas tree after which she adds some magic ingredients, bakes it, then frosts it.

In broad terms, it has the flavor of a cinnamon roll. Tasty as hell. 😁

By 'n by, we stage our Christmas tree like a crime scene... with all the evidence of someone having entered our home while we were sleeping. And whilst in our home, this person filled out stockings with candies, goodies, and gifts... and placed Christmas packages for each of us under the tree.

And then vanished into thin air.

☺️☺️☺️

The whole "crime scene" thing, of course, is a tradition that started when Linzy was the littlest of little, that narrow window of her life during which she believed in Santa Claus. A window that lasted right up to the moment she was the only one in her grade school class still defending the big man. She was all in, our little one. And we enjoyed setting the living room scene ever since even so.

By the way, if it's not super evident, our presents are color coded. Oh sure, they mostly have gift tags... but we don't actually rely on those. The red presents are for Linzy, the green ones Kimmer, and the black ones me.

We also ran low enough on time and decided to not drive ourselves crazy trying to make everything just so. So there's no ribbon or bows on the presents. That's just how it worked out this year and we're okay with that.

So.

The scene's set, the coffee's drunk, the tree-shaped super low profile cinnamon rolls are ready. Linzy shows up around 10:30 for breakfast and our first round of Christmas presents featuring the opening of the stockings which usually, definitely in this case, involves more stuff to eat. 😁😁😁

Okay.

So Linzy shows up around ten-thirty, we do breakfast and stockings, then it's time to head off to the movie theater for the 12:30 showing of "Wonka" for which we already have tickets. All we need's...

The tub 'o buttered popcorn!

And a sweet, sweet movie...

Definitely the filmmakers know where the emotional heart of this story is and aren't afraid to wield it at just the right moment. Every oompa loompa scene with Hugh Grant's a winner. And the music from the original still gets me after all these years.

We're back home around three with friends arriving around five. So we set about opening our presents from under the tree, a tradition we've had for a long, long time now. At least a decade if not more. Get up in the morning, breakfast, stockings, Christmas movie of choice, lunch, favorite Christmas movie in the background, then opening our presents.

It makes for a full day. Rather than a coupla hours in the morning and then you're done.

This year, where dinner would normally appear, our dear friends showed up bringing their portion of the Christmas meal to match up with the food Kimmer was cooking on Christmas Eve.

The children, of course, immediately wanted to do filters with Linzy. She held them off until after dinner at which point they joyfully indulged.

Earlier this year we went to Universal Studios in Orlando. While there, each day we hid an object in some picture we were taking. At first the object was a 3D printed neon green tugboat. Then I lost the tugboat so we bought a keychain Minion. So then we'd take pictures with that Minion somewhere in the photograph and we'd send that photograph (or two, or three) for our friend's kids to examine.

On Christmas, then, Linzy hid that Minion somewhere in the tree and the kids were told that if they could find it... it was theirs.

Linzy did such a good job that it took the entire evening with both kids looking for it as well as, at various points, their parents. Many hints were given. At one point our friend Ben was in his back under the tree trying to see what he could see. At another point, even after having been told the Minion was hidden at kid level, the kids insisted on standing on a chair for a bird's eye view.

It's hard to ignore the implications, though, that they thought they were being lied to about the Minion being at kid level. 🤨🤔😕

On its own, the evening was its own complete Christmas experience with a wonderful, shared dinner, a fun dinner experience, a lot of hanging out and playing in our living room and family room, some fancy drinks conjured by our friend, a touch of gymnastics once the mat was unveiled, all atop plenty of conversation, friendship, and family.

Oh yeah.

And presents.

☺️

We wound up coloring Christmas 2023 right out to the edges with family and friends, with tradition and improv, with presents and fun and laughter.

I think by the time the last child was out of the house, it was somewhere around nine. Prolly after, a bit.

Maybe nine-thirty.

And yes.

We got a fantastic night's sleep after that.

😁😁😁

[master-tonberry]

~ bias tag game

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list! (thank you for tagging me @jeonwon-wonwoo, sorry it took me 80 years to finish this lol)

bee's bias list

woozi (svt)

kyungsoo (exo)

key (shinee)

yoongi (bts)

hyungwon (mx)

seungkwan (svt)

johnny (nct)

arthur (kingdom)

ten (nct/wayv)

jeonghan (svt)

🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

hyungwon. monsta x was the second group I got into and I was immediately delighted by hyungwon's neutral pizazz

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

listen, I don't like to play favorites with my biases but if I'm being honest with myself, the svt biases are always going to win. so it's seungkwan, of course, but I mean. I do love kyungsoo SO MUCH.

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

this is the meanest question, how tf am I supposed to pick between woozi and key??? I mean, it's woozi bc he's my ult of ults and I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but I do genuinely think we'd get along. I just kind of want to hang out with him while he makes beats and talk about anime tbh lol

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

his eyes. I think he has just the most beautiful eyes. his smile is a close second. honestly, it's hard to pick just one thing, he's one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen lol

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

can I say everything? no? idk I just really love how much he loves everyone in svt and all of the fans, he's got such a big heart and it makes me so happy to see him taking care of the members and fussing over (or fussing at lmao) them.

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

that I'm so so proud of him, and that they've accomplished so much already and I'm really excited to see where they go next

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

lmfao this is the only time that woozi isn't going to win, I can't with the shortie shorts and the ugly slides. but kyungsoo always looks so snuggly and sweet, I'll steal some of his sweaters lol

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

I would never presume to tell kim kibum what clothes to wear, he has more fashion sense in his pinkie than I have in my whole body. but sometimes I think about that false rumor of him wearing gold hotpants out shopping and it makes me laugh so...

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

I'm actually cackling at this one, hyungwon is a GIANT. yoongi is still taller than me by a few inches but I have this mental image of him as like 5'2" for some reason. my toxic trait is I think I could easily pick him up and carry him around.

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

another unfair question!! because I adore Ten and his solos are always impeccable, but I mean. Jeonghan is in my favorite group of all time, what am I supposed to say? svt wins every time in any situation.

🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷🩵

only tagging my sweetie @takemeup2space bc I know they haven't done this meme yet and they're trying to be better about being on tumblr 🫶 if you want to do it and you haven't yet, though, go for it!

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Fri 17 Jan

The promo for Walls (the single) may be getting folded into the promo for Walls (the album) but that doesn't mean there's not lots going on. For example today alone brings a big interview in the weekend Telegraph magazine and the London listening party! In the Telegraph Louis talks about, well really a lot of stuff, including being more comfortable offering care to others than accepting it, his sisters, and music, including his long term plans (a five album trajectory.) He says he's still at the point in that where he's balancing what he wants to do with what the fans want as he eases forward, which fits with the quote from the listening party today where he said that Always You wasn't his favorite musically but he left it on the album because the fans wanted it (I don't think that's the only reason especially after what we were told today but him saying that just confirms for me that there's reason to.) The usual amount of Eleanor and Freddie material is covered, with a pointed, "he looks just like me!" from Louis about Freddie, LOL, but also an unusual amount of Oli material, happy days! Oli is referred to as "a walking comfort goat blanket" and we hear about he and Louis and Eleanor's blissful poly shared living situation at the London home, plus even talk about his future goals ("a bit of work with Louis’s tour manager this year.") My least favorite meta writer, Simon Jones, brings us the official Walls lyrics story: the song is about Louis' girlfriend, oBviOUsly (Eleanor implied here), but also about the band, but at a very specific time, during which Louis would in fact have been waking up alone with Danielle... listen this story worked fine before you started overexplaining. Doesn't Simon know excessive detail is the downfall of selling a lie? ANYWAY, how about that listening party! They heard the whole album and saw the Walls video which both fan reports and Louis tell us is "the best one yet!" We're told it has Louis in a suit and strong Lights Up parallels (laralells) thematically, and got one still from the video today that's Louis standing in front of a burning wall. More reports: in Always You Louis sings about looking for his gender neutral loved one in Amsterdam LA and Tokyo, UMM OMG, Perfect Now (speculated to be written to his young sisters) sounds like it has an updated WMYB thing happening lyrically which I really did not see coming, and Louis says his favorite lyric on the whole LP is "took some time cause I ran out of energy playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be," WOW.

Louis has a Snapchat now which I guess isn't surprising, they've had promo things for all the singles but also it is because who the hell has Snapchat (besides, oddly enough, me.) The Walls lyric video is up using a cute Oasis inspired (appropriately) animation. The Brits charity show is sold out, obviously, and the Brits tweeted about Walls showing one reason why that was a great booking for him. Louis will be on The One Show next week. He tweeted to thank fans who were at Wembley today but also "ALL of you" for our support. One sad thing though, it seems the Walls mural needs some of Harry's clothes vault protecting team (maybe just one dragon?)- it got tagged today. Fans were present and able to play the role of dragon to protect Louis' face but really, wouldn't 24/7 magical creatures be more practical in the long run?

A French tabloid quotes Camille on the subject of Fine Line. The first question, of course, is whether we believe tabloids when they tell us someone said something sensational- generally no, so I'm not sure why we'd start now. But since it seems that's what we're doing, okay. Let's say she did in fact say that the voice note being on the album felt invasive to her. To refresh your memory of consent politics: saying yes to one thing doesn't imply consent for a whole range of things, and even if it did it's okay to have negative feelings after the fact about things you thought would be okay. It's okay and natural for a woman to find international discussion and criticism of her invasive, and the other thing she says, that it makes her want to tell her side of the story, is such an obvious response that I truly don't even see why people would criticize it but anyway. To refresh your memory of this here blog, I don't think being the female half of a publicity relationship is inherently immoral or despicable any more than I would participate in anti sex worker dialog.

So since we're embracing tabloids for our news today, do we believe the random paper who said Zayn and Gigi are getting married? Cause they sure did say that, but it sure is unlikely to have been based on anything other than a desire to fill space.

Anyway, Harry followed some guy named Louis, presumably for his documentary filmmaking and not his name, but a cheap thrill nonetheless (or a sneaky nod, if you prefer.)

Meanwhile, Niall said he shed a tear listening to NH2.

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 3

Character(s) included: Oikawa & Kyoutani

Requested by: @chibiiichann

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of bullying [Oikawa], Mention of flinching [Kyoutani], Hints towards readers tough past [Kyoutani]

Song of the day: Trees II by McCfferty

A/N: First off thanks for 200- I know I said it a lot but I’m just so glad! Next, many of you haven’t seen but I have updated a few things. One of the biggest being my name I go by. At the moment I’m trying out Xic. I also noted my pronouns and stuff. Which you can all find on my announcements post. Now back to some more ‘important’ things [though this is important, this is not why you came here!]. Sorry about the long wait for part three! Please read through the warnings again to make sure everything is okay. Thank you for everything. Bye!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Oikawa

He was at it again. Working late nights and shit. You were happy for him. You were. Of course you were. He was back doing what he loved. He was back playing volleyball. With that happiness also came fear and worry. You knew how he was. Everyone who ever met him, knew how he was. He over worked himself. He always did and scared you. No matter how hard he tried not to. He pushed himself past his limits. Even after the doctor already told him, if he didn’t ease up on the practice, his knee would get even worse. But he was Oikawa Tōru. Determined and intelligent.

It was ten thirty and he already missed your date. Which you expected to happen, but it still kind of hurt. You tried calling for the fifth time that night, but you were met with the same thing. After a few rings it went to voicemail.

“Hey! You’ve reached the voicemail of Oikawa Tōru, thank you for calling! At the moment I’m busy but I promise after I’m done I’ll call you back. If you want, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. Byeee!”

You waited all night for him to come home around twelve thirty. He looked tired. Extremely tired and to be honest that pissed you off more. Not only did he not respond but he over worked himself again, and when he woke up the next night sore, you were the one who would have to take care of him.

Instead of bringing it up you waited for the morning. Not wanting to have this conversation while he was tired. It would feel like you were talking to yourself, and he wouldn’t understand. So you went to bed with him and by the morning he was already up before you.

You went to the kitchen to find him shuffling through your medication bin. “Are you sore?” You ask, looking at him.

“I’ll be fine, I just need breakfast and some medicine,” he muttered. He couldn’t have cared less. At least that’s what it looked like. He didn’t even spare you a glance.

“Maybe you should listen. You know, lay off volleyball practice for a day or something. Try to lesson the hours and stuff..” You looked back at him for his reaction.

“Can’t. If I ease up I’ll never be able to catch up.” He finally looked to you now, finding the medicine.

“I mean I think you will be fine. It is taking over your whole life and stuff so I just don’t want it to be a bigger issue. Like you know.. with your knees and stuff.” Your eyes are pinned on him.

“I told you not to worry about my knee, and it’s not taking up my life okay? It has and will always be my life. It’s the only thing I’m good at. So no, I'm not going to take a break.” He snapped at you. Which caught you off guard.

“It is… It is taking up your life,” you replied which made his face change.

“You don’t understand how it is like me. You don’t! I understand you don’t have anything you're good at and shit. But you have to understand that I actually have goals in life okay? You have to understand that my fucking life won’t revolve around you and how you feel when I do something. It won’t and never will. You and I are together because I feel like having you around. Because you know what, volleyball is the only thing that distracts me from leaving. Volleyball is the only thing I can do to escape you!” He screamed.

It takes a few seconds for the weight of his words to sink into your skin. But here’s the thing. You knew what you were up against when you started dating him. He just lit a fuse in you. A spark that made an explosion of feelings hit you. When it did you couldn’t control your words. “After all that practice I wondered why you never made it to nationals. I mean seriously. You need a distraction from me, right? Your always doing it, and get you can’t even fucking get to nationals. Not only that but I can see why your last girlfriend left you. You're a dick. You can’t remember a fucking date. A fucking date we have been planning for weeks. Oh wait, let me correct that, a date I’ve been planning for weeks. Not only that but I took my fucking time to work around your schedule. For you not to even send a message.” You spat out. You looked down at him, “I wonder sometimes if everyone was right. You and me. Never belonged. I’m just a distraction from such a ‘handsome’ and ‘kind’ person.”

He looked hurt at first, but then again he started it and intended to finish it. “I can see why your whole family doesn’t talk to you. You always think you're the best or something. Maybe I remembered the date. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe I didn’t wanna hangout with you. Maybe I didn’t want to hear you nagging me every fucking second. You know what? I can see why people fucking hate you. Bully you and shit. Your such a fucking selfish freak.”

“What..?” You looked at him. You told him you were bullied, because you thought of him as your safe space. You thought of him as the only person who understood you. You felt safe when he was around you. You felt understood. To use that against you. To say you deserved it. To say you deserved to get hurt. To get shamed. To get everything that happened to you… it was your fault?

“What are you too dumb to understand?” He laughed at you. Hatred and venom spilling from his lips. “Awe.. look at the baby. You should be grateful I didn't break up with you. You should be thankful because I’m the only reason you're even someone.”

Tears filled your eyes. “God fucking damn it.” You muttered softly. You weren’t going to allow him to take you down. You were stronger then he would ever understand. “You really think anyone wants to hang out with you..? Do you fucking think anyone find you a good person..? Your just a fucking pretty face, okay? Your nothing compared to anyone else on your team. You might not realize it but to be honest sometimes I do want to be set free. Set free from this shitty relationship okay? That’s the truth. Sometimes I get sick of having to take care of you. When your fucking sore before you over works your self again. I am the only one trying to keep you okay. I’m the only one who actually thinks about the long run. No matter how hard you practice in the end you won’t even be able to walk. Let alone play volleyball and shit. You know what sometimes I get sick of being the only fucking one trying to keep us together.”

“Then maybe you should give up okay. Maybe we should finally go our separate ways. I mean after all, you're too easy.” He was hurt. He just blurted out whatever he thought would hurt you the most. Which fucking worked. Before you had said anything more he had left the room, leaving you stunned.

It took a moment but before you knew it you were out of the house, crying and walking the farthest away from your shared house as you could. “Fuck..” you whisper. Did he really not want to be with you..? You should have known. This relationship wasn’t a relationship. You barely talked. You felt alone. So fucking alone.

It took an hour for him to fully cool down. When he walked out of the room he was expecting you to be waiting for him. He was expecting everything to be okay. When he was met with the emptiness. The emptiness of you being actually gone. He was met with the realization that his words were taken just how he thought he wanted them to be.

You on the other hand we’re at the park blasting music in your ears. Forcing the thoughts to be pushed deep down. Forcing you to forget everything. Everything that hurts you. Maybe it would be best if you guys did go your separate ways..? You knew this wasn’t good for your mental health. But fuck that. This was the only thing that made you feel grounded. Made you feel okay. When he wasn’t with you or practicing he was out with friends, drinking and partying. You couldn’t continue to live like this. So maybe it would be best to let go. To give up on everything and everything you loved… your everything was him. You always argued and at this point you felt sick. Thinking about it just broke you. You had no more tears to cry, with your tear stained cheeks you decided to go back. To your home. It was over. Everything you had built up was coming crashing down.

On his side he was freaking out. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew there was no excuse for what he did to you, but what could he say? You were gone already. It took a bit for him to get to the nerve to call you. To his surprise he heard the sound of your ringing phone. So you left it. Maybe you were going to come back. Maybe you will and then everything will be okay again. Maybe everything would be perfect. It was a small chance but that's all he could hold on to.

When you walked in it was quiet, but there were soft whimpers and cries coming from your shared room. Gently you knocked on the door and waited for a response. You were surprised when you immediately heard a stumble and then were met with a hug. Your shoulder almost immediately feels wet to the touch. “Ba.. Oikawa..?” You muttered.

“Please don’t call me that.. please..” He muttered softly. His face buried deep into your clothes.

You kinda ignored his response. “I came back to get my stuff. I took into consideration what you said and I realized that you don’t deserve to be distracted by me all the time..” You whispered softly. “So like you said earlier.. I think it is best if we stop seeing each other.. entirely because I don’t know if I could let you go otherwise..”

His arms tightened around you, “C..can we please talk about it first.. please..” his nightmare was coming true, and maybe it was dumb but he didn’t realize how much he needed you.

“There’s nothing to talk about.. I don’t understand why you want to make it harder on me. I gave you what you wanted okay..? You can practice your heart out and hangout with your friends and stuff okay? You can finally find someone who will fit all your needs. You and I both know that I will never be what you want. So maybe it would be best if we just let go..”

“No… please no.. that’s not what I want.. I want to make it up to you and be there for you and I want to make you happy and I want everything to be perfect. I know I messed up okay? I don’t deserve you and I don’t know what came over me today because you're everything I’ve ever wanted. I know I don’t deserve it and there’s no excuse for what I said or did… I know I should let you find someone better but I love you. I love you so fucking much. I know I’ve been lacking and I want to make up for it. I want to be someone you want to be around again.. I love you so fucking much okay? I should have been there. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but please.. just one more.. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He didn’t want to let go of everything.

“I’m sorry too.. you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry for everything and that’s why I want to let you go. To find someone who will not hurt you like I hurt you.. You and I both know that I can't resist it. I don’t know why you do this to me.. pull me back.. you have one more chance… Please don’t make me regret it. I really love you but this.. this isn’t going to work if we do what we are doing now okay? We will just tear each other more and more apart..” you whispered gently, kissing his head. Your arms finally meet his back as you hold him. “I’m sorry.. but I’ve got you now baby. I love you so fucking much..”

Kyoutani

Kyoutani was the type of person most people would never understand. Not because they were “difficult” or anything.. they just never took the time too. Well other than you. You were different. You understood his outburst and such. But at the same time you were human. There was only so much you could take. There was only so much you would take.

When he came into the locker room you were already waiting for him. He had been thrown out of the game for fighting with a few people. You knew he was frustrated. You could hear the crowd from a mile away shouting to kick him off. It was harsh. Even for ‘mad dog’ which he hated to be called. He hated to be tied to an animal.. and always being an angry reck. Anybody would. But of course nobody understood other than you. When he sat on the bench you immediately rushed over.

“Baby.. I’m sorry.. You didn’t deserve that.. just ignore them, please. I know it’s hard but their not important okay..?” You we’re just trying to comfort him. But there were times when Kyoutani couldn’t control himself. Like any other person when they get looked down at every fucking moment of their lives. When they are ridiculed and laughed at all the time. When they are nothing more than an angry person.. Sometimes there is nothing more to do than be the person everyone so desperately makes you out to be.

“Not important? Not important! I just got fucking kicked from the game because of them chanting to kick me. They didn’t even fucking have the decency to call me by my name. So don’t tell me it’s okay and that their opinion on me doesn’t matter. Because quite frankly their opinion is the only one that matters it seems.” He lashed out.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that.. it wasn’t entirely their fault. You were arguing with the other team members.” You muttered. It wasn’t meant to do any harm, just for him to keep in mind.

“Are you serious right now.? Nobody else got kicked. Nobody. If they can’t handle a little trash talking, maybe they shouldn’t play a sport. I mean seriously there’s no need for them to tell the referees to kick me.” He started raising his voice when he spoke.

“I know it’s just that.. maybe you should try and not trash talk you know?” You whispered softly, retreating a bit.

“What?” He looked annoyed. “God ducking damn it. How can you be so cute but so fucking annoying. I mean seriously how can someone with such a face be so fucking dumb and so annoying?” His hands were balled into fist

“I..I don’t understand, can you tell me why you act so sweet..? Then so cold the next moment..? You don’t mean it right..? Please say you don’t mean it.” You were worried you loved him but god it was hard. It was hard to respond when your friends asked about your relationship. It was hard when they flaunted their perfect relationship and then asked about yours. Its was so fucking hard.

“Do you think I would say it otherwise..?” He looked at you. He laughed at you as he saw your pitiful expression. God it was almost sickening how much he saw that expression. That expression that nobody else had ever shown him. The one of worry  but at the same time already knowing it was coming. He loved it. He loved everything about you. But most of the time you pissed him off. This relationship wasn’t healthy. But for god sake you already started counseling. But fuck this was a bad idea.

Silence. Nothing could come out. You wanted to scream. You wanted to forget this. You wanted it to stop. Everything to stop.

“Answer me.” He punched the wall next to you. Fear spreading all over your face. Fuck. Fuck. Not here. Please no. He gripped your warm face making it so cold in seconds. Forcing you to look at him he laughed at your crying face. But when you didn’t stop for a minute he immediately backed away. He fucked up. He knew he fucked up. “Wait I’m sorry baby..” he muttered.

“Please stop. Please. I won’t do it again.” Flashbacks we’re pulling you way too far out. You were drowning. No one was around to save you. He was laughing as you begged to be saved, pushing you deeper into your own pool of your own thoughts. You were so cold. The next second you were able to move back to the surface.

Realization hit as he stepped back. “I..I am sorry..” he muttered softly as he left the room without another word leaving his mouth. Words were banging on his lips but he knew if he spilled them out everything out it would just hurt you ten times more.

You got up five minutes later, finally pulled back to reality and decided to get up. Grabbing your stuff you walked back into the stadium. Waving a small wave to the rest of his team before exiting. Confusion was read all over as they saw your tear stained face. To be honest, all that was running through your mind was that you didn’t want Kyoutani to break up with you. You didn’t want to be alone, again. You didn’t want to be just another one of his ex’s. So for the better of both of you it would be best to leave him be. To let him cool off.. for him to feel better.

He was freaking out. He fucked up. You. You were his everything, not only that but you were more than just that. You were like a fucking rainbow at the end of a rainy day. You were his partner in crime. You made him feel normal, you made him feel safe, and loved. He couldn’t believe he just put that all in danger. He just put everything on the line because of some stupid game. He hit the wall hard, “fuck me. I’m sorry y/n..” he muttered as he sank to the floor and balled up. Tears burning through his eyes. He did the one thing he promised you that he would protect you from. You became the one thing he was always scared of becoming. He loved you so much, he love you so fucking much.

You left and got into your car. Sinking into your seat you locked the doors, and hit the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath salty tears rolled down your already stained face. Placing the key in and turning it the car started. Next thing you knew you had left wherever you could go. You loved him. So fucking much. But it was hard to be okay when he acted so fucking rough with you. It was hard to stay calm and not imagine your past relationship in this one. You tried. You really did but god it was hard to feel okay, feel okay about everything happening around you. It was too much. So fucking much. It made your head hurt.

When the game ended Kyoutani was still freaking out, now moved back into the lockers. He didn’t know what he was expecting but he knew he hoped you would still be there. God damn it. He fucked up. You had left. You were gone. Tears brimming his eyes as he teammates walked in. Now mentioning it to his teammates their faces seemed to change. More salty fucking tears left his eyes, as he heard about what type of pain you looked like you were in.

You headed back to your shared place. Unsure where else to go. You weren’t close with your family anymore. You had no friends. You had no work buddies. You had nobody but Kyoutani and in turn, now you were left alone with the thought of everything being gone. Ripped right out of your hands as you're forced to watch your whole world come crumbling down on you. You placed your stuff down on the side and laid on the bed. It smelled just like safety. Just like Kyoutani. You just wanted to be held. You just wanted everything to be perfect, again. To be okay at least. You needed him more than anything.

After a night out he finally made it back to your shared place. He didn’t want to be back without you, but you weren’t answering and he didn’t know what else to do. When he walked into the apartment he slowly walked into your shared room. There he saw you. Laying in bed cuddled up in the blankets. Slowly and carefully he walked up. Not wanting to cause you any more hurt. He missed you. Even for a few hours he had felt like he hadn’t seen you in years. But maybe that was because he thought that’s what might have happened. Maybe he thought you had left for good. Maybe he thought he would never have the chance to apologize. Never have the chance to hold you again. When he reached the bed he noticed that you were awake. “Hey y/n..” he muttered softly. The silence was killing him. “I’m so sorry. I know I fucked up. I promised to make you feel safe and protected around me. I made a promise to keep you safe and protected. I broke both of those. I fucked up. I know I did. I lashed out again. I did exactly what everyone says I do. I just get so fucking heated for no reason and I know I shouldn’t and I know I should just relax. But I feel like if I do the worlds would burn though my throat and then it would just explode.. and I know it’s stupid and I know I end up hurting you more. I know that there is no good reason to do that. But I just.. I don’t know. You're the only one that makes me feel normal okay..? I know it’s not fair. I know it’s not. You just make me feel like whenever I’m with you that I’m floating. I just want everything to be okay again. I want everything to be back to normal. I know I should give you space but I missed you so much. I don’t want you to leave, please don’t leave..” he was crying again. He barely had any tears left to cry. He wanted to hold you but he knew it was a stupid idea. “I’m sorry for being so selfish.. but please..”

You never really heard him or saw him crack. But fuck. It hurts you so much. To see him beg for you to stay with him. What were you supposed to do..? Leave him now? That was never even the plan. You didn’t have a plan to be honest. You sat up biting your lip before you gently held him. “Hey baby it will be okay.. calm down I’ve got you.. I’m not going anywhere now. I promise you I’m not going anywhere.” You muttered softly. He melted into your touch. He knew he didn’t deserve it but he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Shush… I’ve got you.. take a deep breath..” you mumbled softly kissing his head as he took deep breaths. Soon enough he was relaxed in your arms again. “You know and I know that I love you so much. But there’s a line between where I can take it and I can’t. I understand you get frustrated but I don’t deserve to be treated like that. I don’t deserve to be scared of being hit.. and I know we both know that. I try to be understanding but you need to try to be too okay..? I love you so much.. more than you might believe but Kyoutani I can’t handle being in a relationship with you if you're constantly annoyed or angry with me. I think we deserve to be happy.. and if that means needing to take a break then we would have to okay? You need to work on communicating. I know it can be hard.. but please..” you whispered. Tears flowing down your soft skin again. It was getting a lot. So it would be best if you told him… you needed him to understand.

He gently shook his head. He understood. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he was lucky for you to be holding him.. for him to even still be in a relationship with you let alone it be still a romantic one. He loved you and he knew you didn’t deserve anything that he put you through. In the end all that mattered was you in his eyes. He was going to change.. he was. “I promise.. thank you y/n..” he whispered softly. Gently he wrapped his arms around you. “I love you so much..” he muttered. Everything would be okay.. he knew it was going to be now. All that mattered was that you were safe. That you were happy.. that you were in his arms again.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it, so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[yeongwvnhi]

ᴸᵒᵛᵉ ᴬᵍᵃⁱⁿ

Pairing - Baekhyun x fem reader -> exes to lovers | Genre - Angst, fluff | warnings - none | taglist - @twancingyunhoe @trashlord-007 @tiddy-boys | synopsis - when Baekhyun and you broke things off a year ago, it felt alright, but you came to the painful realization that nobody could ever replace him or love you like he did | word count - 2.1k | thanks to @tiddy-boys for beta-reading ♡

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It's days like these, rain hitting the window in harsh taps and angry wind blowing, when the nostalgia hits the hardest. After all, you were always one to dwell on the past. It's just what you do. 

Every day felt the same after the two of you broke things off. You don't even remember why exactly you even ended it in the first place. The pain still sits deep, coming to haunt you when you least expect it. 

Rainy days like those just trigger the nostalgia, the memories and bygone feelings. 

It's 12pm when you check your phone, yet you're still laying in bed. The lack of motivation due to this sudden wave of sadness is something you're not experiencing for the first time. 

And it's killing you slowly. These feelings are eating you up from the inside out. 

Without even realizing, tears are running down your cheeks in even, salty streams. 

"Why am I even crying…" You mumble and lift your arm to cover your face, trying to make it stop. "God, I'm so pathetic" 

You try to manage to stop your tears, wrist harshly rubbing your eyes. After a minute or so, you succeed in stopping them. 

instead pick up your phone, unlocking it and opening Instagram. 

One peek won't hurt, right…? 

His name at the top of your searches seems to be mocking you as you hover your finger above it. Should you really do it? What if he found someone new and his profile is filled with couple pictures? Or what if he feels nothing and is glad to be alone? What if, what if, what if…

"Fuck it" you hiss and tap on his username, his profile popping up after a brief second of loading the page. 

He… hasn't posted anything for a few months, his last post being from October last year. 

Oh for fucks sake… is this a good sign or not? It could mean he's been seeing someone new, but it could also mean he's just been living his life like usual. 

So many possibilities, yet no resolution seems to be in sight. 

"This is so annoying, oh my gooood" You groan and smack your head into your pillow, laying sprawled out like a star with an annoyed pout on your face. 

"It's been a god damn year," You grumble, "why do I still feel like this?" 

The sound of your fist hitting the mattress of your bed is dull, not the way you wanted it to sound. "I hate this, UGHH" The frustration in your voice is for sure loud and clear, accentuated well by the 'ugh'. 

This whole situation is stressing you out. "I need a shower.." You mumble, absent-minded, as you fling the covers back and swing your legs over the edge of your bed. 

—

Despite the gloomy weather, you decided to take a walk outside. The rain still hasn't let up, droplets of it occasionally hitting your face. 

"Why is it so cold today? It's already spring…" You mumble quietly to yourself, eyes strictly trained on the path in front of your feet and head held low. 

You're so lost in your thoughts, you don't see the person headed your way. 

And apparently, the person doesn't seem to notice you as well. So your shoulders collide and you stumble, umbrella falling out of your hand and fast quick steps to regain your balance. 

"I'm so sorry! Are you al-" The man rushes to apologize, but his words get stuck in his throat as he takes in who he just, quite literally, stumbled into. 

Rain has hit you mercilessly, soaking you from head to toe within seconds as you stand there, paralyzed. "Baek…Baekhyun?" 

His eyes are wide and mouth slightly open in shock as he doesn't know what to say or do. 

He hasn't seen or talked to you in at least nine or ten months for sure. What is he even supposed to say? "Yeah… it's- it's surely been a while" he dumbly answers. "Ah! Your umbrella!" Baekhyun rushes to pick it up and hold it over your figure. 

But the damage is already done. 

You're shivering, dripping with water but still you've a tiny smile on your lips at the sight of him. 

You delicately take hold of the handle, fingers gently enclosing around the man's hand. 

He doesn't move to let go, just standing there and staring into your eyes. "I-" 

You cut him off by mistake with a sneeze, the cold creeping in deep. It feels like your bones might freeze, grasp around both Baekhyun's hand and the handle of your umbrella tightening, muscles contracting to desperately stay warm. "S-Sorry for interrupting you" You say, teeth clattering and eyes averting. 

"No no don't worry about it!" He insists, "but we should get you home, your hand is cold as ice, Y/N" 

"Ah… you're right" You nod and he flashes you a warm smile. 

"Do you still live in the same apartment or did you move?" Baekhyun asks, back to being concerned about your wellbeing now. 

"I- I still live in the same place" You reply, your free hand holding onto your jacket for warmth, but in vain. 

"That's too far away, my place is way closer" He objects and gently pulls you along, "come on, let's get you freshened up before you really get sick" 

You only manage an awkward nod and let him lead you along, a surprisingly pleasant silence engulfing you two. 

—

Baekhyun unlocks the door to his apartment and firstly puts both of your umbrellas away, taking off his wet shoes in the process and you follow along. 

"Come on, I'll show you the bathroom" He says and you tag after him. 

He opens the door, turns on the light and quickly pulls out two towels for you. "You can just use my shampoo, I don't have anything suitable here for you, sor-" 

"Thank you" you break his rambling. "You wouldn't need to do this, so thank you" 

Baekhyun smiles softly, although his eyes tell a different story. "I'll bring you some clothes in a bit, okay?" 

"Mhm" you nod and give him a curt bow before he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. 

You waste no time in stepping out of your soaked clothes and into the shower. 

You set the water to a nice warm temperature and rinse off the cold first, feeling relieved. 

Then there's a knock. "Hey Y/N, I'm putting some clothes on top of the washing machine for you now" he announces before opening the door, doing as he said and then leaving just as quickly as he came. 

"Still the considerate guy he always was…" You mumble with a sad smile, old memories coming back to haunt your mind with sweet images of the two of you. Him always knocking before he'd enter a room you would be in to announce himself. 

You loved that about him, he was always mindful of others and you're happy to see it hasn't changed at all. 

—

You finished quickly and put on the clothes he gave you. Some boxers and a way too big on you, black shirt. You dried your hair as best as you could with the towel he gave you and made sure you don't look like a lion by patting down your hair a bit. 

"Baekhyun?" You timidly call out after opening the door a bit. 

"Yeah?" He replies and you hear his footsteps approach. "What is it?" 

"Uhm- Where to put my wet clothes?" You ask. 

"Oh- Hold on, I'll put them in the washing machine" He says with big eyes and opens the machine for you to put them in. "I'll dry them after they're washed so you can change back, alright?" 

You nod quickly and thank him quietly. He opens the machine and you put your clothes inside, him doing the rest. 

"So, uh-" 

"Do you want some water?" He quickly asks, ears flaring red as he avoids your eyes. 

"Sure" you squeak back and follow him into the kitchen. He gets a glass out of a cupboard and fills it with water before handing it to you. 

You nip at the liquid as Baekhyun leans against the countertop adjacent to you, eyes taking in your figure. 

He missed seeing you in his clothes, you always looked so good in them. He just missed you in general. 

The reason why the two of you broke up a year ago? 

Baekhyun remembers it all too well. 

It was a work related thing actually. The two of you worked in different shifts and barely saw each other, yet alone had time for any couple stuff. 

Free days? Spent alone or arguing about never seeing each other. 

And at one point you had said to just break up. In that moment Baekhyun felt like he was hit by lightning, body stiff and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he heard. Baekhyun felt anxiety cursing through his veins as his brain processed your words.

You had told him that you wouldn't hate him, but that your situation at that time just didn't allow any dating. The two of you never had hard feelings about the outcome, but it was hard to suddenly go back to being alone. 

And now you're here, in his apartment, wearing his clothes and smelling just like him. He can't believe this is happening. 

"Uhm, so" You speak up after setting the glass down on the other counter behind you. Your hands come up to grab the surface besides your waist and you avoid the man's eyes. 

"Yes?" Baekhyun can't help the hopeful hint in his voice as he urges you to continue your thoughts. 

"How has life been for you?" 

A chuckle escaped his lips at your question, shoulders jumping up and down in the process before he answered. "It's been rather boring but nice, if you get what I mean? I found a different job and work from home now" 

You nod quietly, "I've also found a new job and my shifts are less hectic" 

"Have you… found someone new?" 

You halt at his inquiry, gears in your mind temporarily stopping and he seems to take the lacking answer the wrong way. A frown pulls at his normally friendly and soft expression, making him look grumpy and bothered. "I see" 

"No, no! I- I haven't found anyone!" You quickly say, "I just… I couldn't move on" 

His expression changes to a sad smile, although he's kind of glad you're still somehow his. "Me neither" 

You scoff lightly, a cheeky smirk suddenly on your face. "No wonder, nobody could put up with your annoying ass anyway" 

"Hey!" He exclaims in shock. 

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" You insist, holding your stomach and laughing. "You're bearable most of the time" 

"That doesn't make it any better!" Baekhyun whines and you laugh out loud, hand flying up to cover your mouth. 

"Still the cocky little girl you've always been" He fires back and you snort. 

"Like you're one to talk" You roll your eyes at him and he exhales through his nose. 

His hands grab you by the collar of his shirt you're wearing and unexpectedly pull you into him. You squeal, hands shooting up to brace against his broad chest and you look up to be met by his cocky smile. "You never knew when to stop, no change at all there" he playfully nags. 

"Shut up" You weakly fight back. 

Baekhyun chuckles and you feel the rumble drumming against the palms of your hands. "How come you haven't moved on?" 

You lower your head, hands fumbling with his shirt. "Well… I came to the conclusion that just nobody could replace you. Nobody could love me like you did…" You mumble against his chest and Baekhyun feels a smile creeping up on his face. 

"I felt the same" He whispers back and his arms move to pull you into him more by your waist. 

After hearing that, you look back up at him with big eyes. "Really?" 

He nods and flashes you a bright smile. "Even though we fought a lot and barely had time for each other, I never stopped loving you" 

"Shut up" You almost whimper and move your hands to pull him closer by the back of his neck, lips meeting in the middle. 

Baekhyun's eyes almost fell out of their sockets before he came to his senses. 

One of his hands found its place on the back of your head as he moved his lips against yours with fervor. He greedily breathes you in, not wanting this to end as moves his mouth against yours. 

You shiver when his tongue meets yours and that's when you draw the line… for now. 

He chases after you for a second and you chuckle, dazed eyes meeting yours. "Slow down tiger" you say and peck the corner of his mouth. 

"Okay, okay" He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, "will you let me love you again?" 

"You bet" 

[qianinterprises]

WayV Reactions: you get mad at them over something trivial

Pairing(s): WayV x mostly gn!reader (I think Kun's is the only one with a written female reader. The others should be gender neutral).

Genre: angst, fluff (happy ending)

Warnings: couples arguments, yelling, angry reader

Word Count: 3k

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the request!!! I had so much fun writing this, although I will admit I had to look up "trivial things to fight about" so nothing would be repeated lol! I have no idea why most of these take place in the kitchen lol, it just seems like a place of arguments. I hope this is what you wanted!! I hope you enjoy!! 💕💕

Tagging: @treasuretaeil

Kun:

Originally posted here

"How about Dandelion?" Kun asked from his spot on the couch, absentmindedly flicking through the large book of names clasped in his fingers.

An audible gasp left your lips. You turned, wide eyes to stare at him, completely flabbergasted.

"You want to name our daughter WHAT?" you snapped.

Dandelion? Of all the names in the big book, he had to choose the name of a damned weed!

Kun shut the book and turned to stare at you with an eyebrow raised, not expecting your tone to be as harsh as it was.

With you expecting a baby girl in a few months, you and your husband had set to attempting to pick out a name, which proved to be a little more difficult than you had anticipated. You just couldn't seem to agree on a name, which, until now, had been fine. You were both generally easy going people who hardly ever fought, so as your face flushed with anger, Kun was at a loss.

"I just thought it'd be cute," Kun defended, voice gentle.

You could tell he was trying not to anger you further, but you balled your hands into angry fists.

"Well why don't we just call her a useless weed and be done with it! See how that affects her mental health!" you yelled.

You didn't know why you were so angry, or why you were taking that anger out on your sweet husband who had done nothing but take care of you throughout your pregnancy.

You blamed your hormones.

"Babe, please calm down."

Kun's voice was gentle and soft as he reached out for you, and although you were still seething with anger, the second his arms wrapped around your middle, you could feel it dissipating, leaving you to apologize.

"Kun, I'm sorry for-"

"Shh, there's no need my love," he whispered.

How did you ever get so lucky.

Ten:

Originally posted here

Ten hardly ever got a day off. With WayV and the occasional comeback with NCTU, plus all the variety shows and vlives the boys did, you hardly got to spend time with him, but you knew what you'd gotten yourself into when you'd started dating. You knew nights together were going to be few and far between, so when he'd asked you over to the dorm one afternoon, you'd jumped at the chance, eager to see your boyfriend after so long. However, if you'd known what it would be like, you would have stayed home.

Ten's phone chimed again, not long after he'd placed it down in favor of wrapping his arm around you while the movie played on the tv. His phone had been going off every few minutes, and despite your sliding closer or attempting to distract him, he couldn't seem to stop from responding, spurring on the messages further.

You didn't question whether he was texting some tramp. You knew he'd never do that to you, plus, he was constantly showing you some funny photo or meme that Johnny had sent, making you chuckle, although you couldn't help but to resent Ten's tall friend for distracting your boyfriend.

Finally, as he removed his arm to grab his phone and text Johnny back, you snapped.

"Can you put the damn phone away! If I would have known you'd do nothing but text, I wouldn't have come!"

Ten paused mid text before dropping his phone on the couch.

"He's my best friend, (y/n)! I'm not just going to ghost him!"

You huffed.

"I'm not asking you to ghost him! I'm asking you to spend time with me without the phone!" you hissed.

Ten sighed and picked his phone back up. With a grumble, you got off the couch, preparing to go home, not wanting to watch a movie with your boyfriend if your boyfriend didn't want to be there with you. However, as you moved to grab your coat, he tackled you onto the couch, caging you in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I promise, for the rest of the day, it's just you and me. No more texting."

You looked at him skeptically, but as he held off his phone, switched off, you sighed and wrapped your arms around him.

"I missed you," you mumbled.

"I missed you too," he replied, kissing the top of your head.

WinWin:

Originally posted here

You had never been the kind of person to rely on anyone. You liked doing things on your own, relying on no one, and thus, many of your friends labeled you "stuck in your ways" because, despite having a boyfriend who'd bend over backwards for you, you couldn't bare to let him do anything for you.

This had spurred on quite a few minor arguments, especially when said boyfriend was the worlds sweetest guy who just wanted you to rely on him for more than a warm chest to snuggle against.

"Why won't you let me help you?" he'd asked several times.

Your answer was always the same.

"Because I can do it on my own."

You never meant to make him feel dejected, but as you opened the kitchen cabinet to grab out your favorite coffee mug, you found that maybe, your boyfriend had a little more of a mean streak than you gave him credit for, and this morning, without your daily caffeine, it really pissed you off.

"Dong Sicheng!" you yelled, anger filling your veins.

Apparently, at some time during the night, your boyfriend had snuck out of bed and rearranged your cabinets, moving everything up one shelf higher, so now, instead of the highest self being the only vacant place, now the bottom shelf was vacant. You were decently tall, but you couldn't reach the highest shelf. You doubted anyone who wasn't 6 foot tall could reach, and of course, on the highest shelf, was all of your coffee mugs.

"Yes?" Sicheng asked from behind you.

You spun around in a whirl, his shirt, that fit you more like a dress, flowing out at the sudden movement.

"What the fuck did you do! Everything was perfect! I could reach everything! Why the hell did you move it!" you snapped.

You glared at him as he tried to hide a small smirk, leaning closer to the counter as he reached up, grabbing your favorite coffee mug, and placing it on the counter for you.

This only pissed you off more.

"What the fuck Sicheng!"

"You never let me do anything for you! The power goes out, you fix the fuse box. Your car breaks down, you take it to the shop. You want coffee, you grab the mug out of the cabinet. You don't let me do anything for you!"

You could see his point, you honestly could, and maybe that's why your fury died down a little.

"Sicheng, I'm independent. I don't need you to do anything for me. I can do it on my own."

"That's what you always say! But I'm your boyfriend! I want to do stuff for you!"

With a sigh, you shook your head. Maybe he was right. Relationships were about give and take, push and pull. He let you help him with things and you hadn't returned the favor. Maybe it was time to bend.

"Fine. Keep the mugs up there, but damnit Sicheng, when I call for you to get me a mug, you better come running."

With a smile, he leaned close to press a kiss to your lips.

"Promise. "

Lucas:

Originally posted here

Having a live in boyfriend was fun, nothing you'd ever experienced before. Suddenly, you had someone to share your bed with, someone to cook for, someone to open pickle jars when you couldn't.

However, it also meant extra time cleaning. Especially when your boyfriend apparently didn't know the use of a welcome mat. Plus, he wasn't the cleanest person in the world, and that fact became evident as you walked into the kitchen to grab a drink and found two bottle caps and a candy wrapper sitting on the counter, forgotten.

"Seriously Yukhei," you muttered under your breath.

You threw the trash in the bin and opened the refrigerator, hoping for a nice glass of milk before bed. Your eyes landed on the milk carton. Happily, you lifted the carton out of the fridge only to realize that it was empty. You certainly hadn't been the one to place an empty milk carton back in the fride.

"Yuhkei!" You yelled to your boyfriend who was already cuddled up in bed.

You waited for him to make his way into the kitchen, but the longer you waited, the angrier you got.

When he did finally walk inside, he was met with your fixed glare.

"What'd I do?"

"First, you leave your trash on the counter, then you put an empty carton back in the fridge! Do you NOT know where the damn trash can is?!"

Yukhei raised his hands in defense.

"I forgot!" he whined.

You groaned. You'd definitely heard that one before.

"You always forget Yukhei! How hard is it to put your trash where it belongs!" you whine, glare still fixed on him.

"And... just so we're clear... an empty milk carton doesn't go back in the fridge?" he asked.

You threw the milk carton at his head, although you weren't planning on hitting him. As he ducked, the carton hit the floor. He was trying to be funny, and you hated to admit that it was working as a smile cracked across your lips.

"There it is! There's that beautiful smile I love!" he cooed, moving closer and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Shut up Yukhei!" you grumbled, pushing against his chest lightly.

He wasn't having it. He pulled you closer and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

"I promise I'll start putting my trash in the bin," he whispered.

You knew it was an empty promise. Tomorrow morning, you'd wake up to more bottle caps and candy wrappers on the counters. Yukhei could be infuriating. But you loved him despite his lack of cleanliness.

Xiaojun:

Originally posted here

(This image has nothing to do with the reaction, I just had to include it lol)

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BE-*

That was the sound you'd been hearing every ten minutes for the past hour as your husbands hand slammed into the alarm clock for the sixth time. You grumbled and rolled over, once again awoken by his horrible habits.

This wasn't unusual. Dejun tended to set 15 alarms before he'd finally get out of bed and start his day, which, by that point, was usually when your own alarm clock would start going off and you'd wake up groggy and cranky, having just lost an hour and a half of peaceful sleep because your husband coudn't seem to get his ass out of bed in the morning.

"Why do you need so many fucking alarms! It's fucking stupid! Just set it for the time you actually need to be up!" you growled, not opening your eyes as you buried your face in the pillow, hoping to get back to sleep.

"I can't wake up that fast," came his mumbled response.

You huffed. It was always the same answer, but it never made much sense to you. Why couldn't he just get out of bed like a normal fucking person.

Alas, you didn't respond as sleep once again tugged at your consciousness, lulling you back to sleep beneath the warm blankets before-

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

"GET THE FUCK UP!!"

"Five more minutes," he grumbled.

Five more minutes and you'd have to hear the infuriating sound of that damned alarm clock?! Fuck that.

You had had enough. Your sleep was important to you and being woken up two thousand times with a damn alarm clock before your husband finally dragged his tired ass out of bed was not helping your sleep in any way.

In a fit of anger and irritation, you pressed a sock covered foot against the middle of Dejun's back and pushed, affectively kicking his body out of bed, his body hitting the cold ground with a thump before he knew what happened.

"Hey! What was that for!" he snapped.

"Your up now," you grumbled, rolling back over and pulling the blankets over your head.

You could hear him grumbling something along the lines of "why do I love your psychotic ass" before the shower turned on.

Hendery:

Originally posted here

You let out a groan as the title of another horror movie appeared on the television screen as you cuddled next to your boyfriend. You hated horror movies, a fact he knew well. The ones that didn't make you have nightmares were generally so silly and irritating you'd spend the entire moving staring at the time. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, absolutely loved horror films, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise when you sat down for your weekly movie night at his place and found a horror movie coming on, which wouldn't have been an issue if you hadn't watched horror movies the last five weeks in a row.

"Can't we watch something else," you complained.

"It's just one move (y/n), you'll be ok."

You groaned. He never listened, too enthralled in his own excitement for the movie.

You didn't have a problem with the fact that he liked this genre, but he could just as easily watch it with Ten or YangYang, or, if he really wanted to torture his leader, Kun. You, on the other hand, somehow always seemed to get stuck watching them.

"We've watched these five weeks in a row," you whined.

"Shh."

That was the last straw. He wasn't even willing to listen to you!

With a huff, you got off the couch and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, switching off the movie and turning to glare at him.

"You know I don't like horror! Yet for the past several weeks we've done nothing but watch it! When are we going to watch something I want to watch?!" you snapped, hands balling into fists.

You could tell Kunhang was taken aback back your outburst as he floundered to find a response. You expected him to bite back, adding fuel to your fire by saying something along the lines of 'I work so much! Why can't we watch what I want!' But to your great surprise, his face just dropped.

"I like the way you hold onto me," he said softly.

You squinted.

"Huh?"

He sighed and sat up straighter, putting the bowl of popcorn on the table.

"You always cling to me when a part scares you. Sometimes you even jump into my lap and I like that. I like protecting you..."

As his voice trailed off, you sighed, anger evaporating. You sat down on the couch next to him and took his hand.

"I don't mind that sometimes, but not all the time," you said. "Besides, wouldn't you rather make out while watching a romance movie?" you smirked.

He paused at the suggestion, seeming to weigh his options in his mind before flicking the television back on and searching up the sappiest romance movie he could find.

With a grin, you sat back on the couch and discreetly coated your lips in cherry chapstick while he found a movie.

YangYang:

Originally posted here

Your feet and back ached as you walked through the door to your apartment after an exceptionally long shift at the diner you worked at part time. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed with your loving boyfriend and go to sleep in his arms. However, as you laid eyes on Jeno and Jaemin sitting beside YangYang with some game loudly playing from the tv, you couldn't help but groan.

"I'm home," you called tiredly, biting back the urge to grumble about games as you made your way into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and maybe a sugary snack.

As soon as you flicked on the light, you couldn't fight the irritation as your eyes met three empty pizza boxes stacked carelessly on the stove and a mountain of plates, cups, and bowls you'd begged YangYang to take care of that morning.

"YangYang!" you snapped, teeth gritting as you found the trashcan, also filled to the brim, waiting to be taken out.

You heard mumbling from the living room followed by an absence of firing guns, meaning they'd paused the game. YangYang walked into the kitchen, eyebrows raised as if he had no idea why you'd called for him.

"What the fuck Yang! I ask you to do the dishes, they're not done! Taking the trash out is your job anyway and it's piled sky high! And those fucking pizza boxes don't belong on the damn stove! What did you do today?! Sit on your ass while I was slaving away!" you yelled.

In hindsight, you probably shouldn't have picked a fight with YangYang's buddies in the next room, but your tired brain could take no more.

"I had to practice and they just got here an hour ago! Don't go snapping at me when you just as easily could do the dishes now!" he snapped back.

"Why should I have to! I've been working all day! You could have done the dishes before they got here! Hell, I wish you would have!"

"Excuse me for not being a clean freak!"

You blew out a huff of air and squeezed your eyes shut.

"Whatever, just go play your damn game."

You turned away from him and moved to the sink, starting the water and pouring in a good squirt of dish soap before grabbing a sponge and getting ready to wash the dishes before a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, a face nuzzling into your neck.

"I'm sorry I didn't do the dishes baby," YangYang whispered softly.

You didn't respond as he pulled the sponge out of your hand.

"Go to bed. I'll do the dishes and then come join you," he whispered.

It was a fast change of heart, but one you were thankful for. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before making your way toward your shared room, not missing the way Jeno and Jaemin bolted from the apartment before YangYang roped them into helping.