#I'm just trying to figure out what triggered it

[imsofreakingtired]

Hihiii I was wondering on how you think sevika would handle reader who has a mental illness? Like bipolar, bpd or anything like that

Btw I love ur fics and headcannons so much 😭😭

hii anon,, actually crazy cuz i have bpd and having a pretty bad episode rn so imma write a drabble. will probably take it down later and rewrite a more polished version to do ur request justice; i'm very very sorry for the rushed nature of this and the atrocious amount of projection you may see

content warnings: depiction of depressive episode/breakdown, self destructive thoughts, sh, panic attack

please please PLEASE do not read under the cut if these topics may be triggering to you. please take care of yourself

i'm not going anywhere.

___

you don't hear Sevika come in.

you don't hear anything.

you're stuck in your head. slippery muddy slope. you can claw at sanity and bite down on the thoughts but they'll pull you down eventually, and you guess you should have known it would catch up to you, all the sleepless nights and spiraling thoughts and sick, sick self loathing.

she fucking hates you. why do you even stay? leeching off her energy.

the water in the sink runs and runs, but you can't hear that either. the cold tile of the bathroom floor against your face. your eyes burn like someone's driving nails into them. it's not even crying anymore. something between hysteria and panicked gasps for air. your lungs seize and you breathe and breathe nothing.

get yourself together. get yourself together.

try to knock some sense into your head. your fists in your hair, then beating against your temples, the world momentarily spins dark.

you can't breathe, your throat's scraped dry. odd, almost, how your body can still produce so much tears when you can't even swallow, when you can barely feel your tongue, when your chest hurts so bad it feels like it'll tear apart.

get it together, fuck you, get it together-

"hey. hey."

a calloused hand closes around your wrist. pulls your hand away from your face. through your blurry vision you see Sevika kneeling on the floor beside you, looking strong and massive as a rock rising from the sea in that small bathroom. her eyes are sharp with alarm.

"what the hell happened?" she asks. her voice low and fast. she thinks you were in danger. doesn't know you are the danger. "what happened here?"

you can't speak. you're fucking furious at yourself for getting caught.

she pulls you up into a sitting position. checks you all over for injury. sees the raw marks on your forearms. sees the bruise forming on the side of your head. for a moment she doesn't say anything.

"i'm sorry," you whisper at last. "i'm so sorry."

she shakes her head.

"i just... i was... i don't know," your voice is so small and broken you aren't even sure if she can hear you. "i'm sorry."

"what are you saying sorry about?" she demands quietly.

"i don't know."

"why are you hurting yourself?"

"i don't know." you bite down on your tongue to stop another wave of tears. "i'm sorry."

"stop it. stop apologizing."

you try to take a breath. your lungs feel like they'll never be full again.

Sevika stands and turns off the faucet water. disappears for a moment. you sit and listen to the air settle, cradling your arms. this is the end. she's figured you out.

she'll leave you.

Sevika returns with a glass of water, kneels on the floor beside you again. "drink it. all of it."

silently you try to obey but your throat closes against the water and you set the glass down quietly on the floor.

"you should go," you say.

"what?"

"just...leave."

"i don't understand."

"i know you already want to," you say, but you're not quite sure if you're really saying it, or if the words are just that fucking loud in your head. "i'm just a burden to you. i don't want to be anymore."

a long silence follows. then Sevika says, "look at me."

you keep staring down at your hands.

"look at me."

you look up. Sevika's gaze is intense.

"just what the hell did i do or say to put that thought in your head?"

you shrug. it's a stupid motion. suddenly you're too tired to talk. you're too tired to do anything. you genuinely want her to leave, just so you can go back to the comfort of the bathroom floor, the static of your thoughts. but Sevika does not leave.

"what did i tell you?" she says. "go that long without any sleep and you'll be thinking up nonsense like that."

when you don't reply, she picks up the half-empty glass of water and places it carefully on the sink. then she wraps her human arm around you, her mech arm firmly supporting your legs, and lifts you up.

"you're going to bed. you're going to get some sleep. then you'll feel better."

"i can't sleep," you tell her.

"you will."

"i can't."

she carries you into the bedroom anyway, lays you down. then she sits next to you. smooths the hair away from your face.

her voice is gentler when she asks, "why can't you sleep?"

"the thoughts..."

"...they're too loud?" she finishes. "i'll beat the shit out of 'em."

you crack a small smile.

Sevika hesitates, as if hovering on a decision. then she unclasps her prosthetic arm and lays it on the table beside the bed. she lies down beside you, pulling you close to her.

"i'm not going anywhere," she says in a low voice. "you hear me?"

you nod once against her chest. her heart beats steadily against your ear, and your burning eyes close.

"i'm not going anywhere."

___

[tuffdwightwest]

Doey x Player

First of all I don't really ship any of the x Poppy Angels ships. Cause frankly I'm asexual and I find I can't personally seperate myself enough from the player character yet. I wanted to make this cause I was seeing a lot of frankly cruel call out posts.

This is not pedophilia. Or disgusting.

The idea that Doey and the other toys don't age is a headcanon. To assume your headcanon is correct and then demonize others. Is put simply wrong. This isn't FNAF they aren't children souls. Their organs are literally taken out and placed into another body. The whole point is that they are 'living' toys.

You are fine to have that headcanon though. But you should not use it to attack others.

For Doey specifically I see people call out his mental breakdown at the end of the game. As evidence that he's 'still a child'. This however is not evidence. It is a mental breakdown from someone who has something almost similar to DID(obviously a more sci-fi version but the closest irl thing I can compare it too). In his breakdown he wasn't even making any sense. Repeating lines we've heard him say over the years. Crying out that he wants to go home.

These are all normal things that can happen in a mental breakdown. Actually learn about trauma triggers and read stuff about it. Doey regressing and just letting Kevin's anger take over is pretty normal for someone who just went through as much trauma as he did.

Besides this point though people say he talks like a child. And I really want to understand where. Throughout the story he seems very rational and reasonable. Even the brief moments that Kevin and what I assume Jack takes over.

Even Doey's last tape before the end of the game. He's scared there but seems like someone just trying to figure out what to do. Nothing about it made me think he's a child.

All this aside, I want to use this just for people to realize. The "they don't age" is a headcanon. They need to eat, sleep, etc. So why do you believe they don't age? This doubling down on this headcanon especially using his breakdown as evidence just seems ableist. Cause I've seen other people not even myself try to explain to others that using that evidence point is ableist.

I doubt this would change those in that echo Chambers mind. But for others that just never really thought about it. I hope this just makes you realize. Yeah either version is just a headcanon. And neither is Canon at the moment. What we do know for sure is that at least 10 years has passed since the hour of Joy. And Doey was made before that. Long enough to witness the guards making toys fight, to be through plenty of interviews, etc.

So by evidence of just time itself. He'd be like at the least 18-25(with the assumption Jack was 8 when he fell into the dough). And this is actually a low estimate cause it assumes that the hour of joy happens soon after he is created.

Stop calling people pedophiles over a headcanon and frankly pretty tame ship. Like ya'll scream about this one then turn around and praise the doctor one. When Doctor is clearly a sadistic childkilling monster. But you give that one a pass. Yet get upset at people when they want to date like the one person in the game that was genuinely kind and a protector.

Stop attacking other people over headcanons. You can debate them but pedophile should not be flung around at all.

Thank you for listening to my rant.

[scorpio1205]

Daddy Issues (Trigger warning!)

Summary: 16 year old Bambi is having a hard time and needs comfort (This is set before Matt and Bambi are together)

Warnings: swearing, crying, pushing, daddy issues, Bambi opening up, absent dad, breakdowns, and slight fluff

It had been two days since the triplets had heard from Bambi, which was completely out of the ordinary. Bambi was someone who always texted back immediately even if she was upset. It's just who she was, she never wanted someone to think she was ignoring or mad at them.

Bambi had started talking to her father again and things seemed to be going well..... Well that was the last thing the triplets had been told about it.

Matt was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Mary Lou walked into the kitchen on the phone. She had a more somber look on her face which made Matt sit up.

"What happened?"

Mary Lou shushed him nodding to what whoever she was on the phone with said closing her eyes with a soft sigh "Alright, I'll tell them to stop by." She put her phone down sadly turning to Matt slowly. The look in her face was something he's never seen before.

"Mom. what's wrong?"

"Where are your brothers?" She whispered softly.

"Out with Nate and Madi. Why?"

"Bambi.... Bambi isn't doing too well right now.... She locked herself in her room, she won't talk to anyone-"

Matt immediately stood up putting his bowl in the sink and grabbing the car keys not giving Mary Lou a moment to finish speaking as he rushed out the door.

He was beating himself up mentally. He should've known something was up when he texted her and she didn't respond to him. He needed to get to Bambi.

Bambi was laying curled up in her bed, the song Good Enough from the show empire playing through her room on repeat. She hadn't moved in two days. God, how could she be so stupid. It was the same cycle and each time she believed it would be different.

She knew better, she always knew better. She wanted... no she needed to believe things would be different. But they never were.

As the song restarted her door opened but she didn't move assuming it was her mom again.

"Bambi....." Matt spoke softly closing the door behind him before walking over to her.

She looked at him through the darkness of her room before laying her head back on her pillow. "Go away, Matty."

"L-listen.. I know I'm not Nick or Chris....But I can still be here for you..." Matt walked closer to the bed trying to figure out how to get her to talk to him, how to get her to open up.

She sat up looking at him. "Matt-"

"No. No. I know you're upset. but you don't get to do that." He turned on her light. "I'm one of your best friends. I love you and you don't get to shut me out when I know you need me the most."

"Why can't you just leave me alone!" She stood up and snapped at him , though you could tell by the look in her eyes that she was gonna break

He looked at her trying not to take it personal, he knew she was hurting and that before she got sad she got angry. That's just how she handled her emotions. It's how she coped with her feelings, especially when it came to her father. "Just talk to me" He whispered moving closer to her.

She pushed him away from her "Go home, Matty"

He stumbled back a bit but stood his ground "No."

"Go" She began to shake slightly but not out of anger, she was about to crumble and he can tell.

"Bambi." He whispered taking her wrist into his hand and pulling "I love you....Please talk to me."

Her lip began to quiver uncontrollably "Why.... Why doesn't he love me?" A sob broke through immediately hiding her face into his chest.

Matt's heart broke immediately wrapping his arms around her. "I-I don't know, Bam."

"What's so wrong with me that he can't just stay." She sobbed, "W-why am I not good enough for him"

"You aren't the problem." He whispered softly. "He is a terrible, awful human being. You.... You're perfect." He moved the to sit down on her bed.

She got really quiet for a moment. "Don't leave me, Matty."

He looked her in the eyes, his thumb gently wiping away her tears "I'd never leave you....."

She nodded pulling him to lay down with her. Once he was laying next to her, she moved into his side pulling her quilt over them.

His arms moved around her resting his chin on her head, closing his eyes and taking in her scent. She smelled like hot chocolate and a bit of weed. "you smell like weed." He mumbled with a small smile.

"Stole some from my mom" She mumbled.

He snickered "I'm not surprised"

After about 10 minutes of silence she spoke. ".....He's mad that I don't always text him first."

"What?"

"My dad..... He hadn't texted in like 2 weeks.... So I called him and told him that it upset me that he hadn't texted me, that I thought we were working on building a relationship.... that he said he wanted to get to know me...... And in order to get to know me he has to text me.... Apparently that upset him cause he started to yell at me, he told me that the phone works both ways and that I shouldn't act like a child...."

Matt's jaw clenched hearing this. Every time he heard about Bambi's father he was tempted to fly down to New York and kick his ass himself.

"That upset me so I started to yell at him, because I am a child....I'm his child and he knows nothing about me.... He can't tell me my favorite color, o-or what my favorite food is.... He doesn't know my allergies..... That I'm surprised he even knows my birthday or that people call me Bambi.... He only remembers he has a kid when he has a new girlfriend and she wants to meet me or around the holidays. He's barely my father he's a sperm donor who my mom should've put on child support." She rambled her eyes still filled with tears, but they were no longer sad tears, they were angry tears.

Matt scoffed. "He's such a fucking dick."

"Then he started talking shit about my mom. Said that she was the reason I felt that way... And that when I can finally form my own opinion on him to give him a call, then he hung up on me."

"You deserve better, Bam. I doesn't deserve you." Matt whispered kissing her head.

She nodded softly clinging to him her eyes closing in emotional exhaustion which Matt noticed and let her go to sleep before leaning down and whispering "You are the strongest most beautiful girl in the world... And if he can't see that. Then he isn't worth the tears you waste crying over him. I love you more than you'd ever know."

@sturnmeovr @big-poppa23 @colorthecosmos444 @sturns-mermaid @mattsstarlet @iammattswife @pinksturns @courta13 @conspiracy-ash @middlepartmatt @raesturns @mattscherries @emely9274 @harls-sturn @loser41ifee @trevorsgodmother @ivysturnss @tezzzzzzzz

Dividers By @bernardsbendystraws

(Please like and comment)

[ghwosty]

when will these horrors (tummy upset) cease

[thevaelguard]

Doing so much work to correct Sebastian Vael's wiki articles and figure out how the hell his romance works without the availability of a PC (<- has to play through act 2 again and they are MAD)

[hurglewurm]

two nights ago: [vivid dream about having a panic attack, gasping and wheezing, heart pounding painfully, curled up on the kitchen floor shaking while my family has dinner in the other room]

last night: [vivid dream about apologizing to my friends that i'm depressed again, feeling weighted down by all of it, on the verge of collapsing because it's too heavy, darkness encroaching]

me irl: genuinely just chilling

[thevioletcaptain]

.

[alwynjoes]

okay, blanket advice: if you're not sure if all of your friends drink or some of them don't for whatever reason, please disclose with them if you cook or bake with alcohol. it's fucked up finding out you might have compromised your sobriety when you already ate half the plate, and it honestly feels like a betrayal of trust.

[moe-broey]

Ohhhhhhh. Okay.

(thoughts/revelations about bride alt Sharena jumpscare)

[pierswife]

Work doodles ft. "Hey look it me, you want a peek into the good ol mental--" /funny

[visdiefje]

Man I can't wait until I can recover alone for a while

[wandaluvstacos]

my ill advised midnight post is that the asexual community's obsession with calling everyone valid is annoying. I thought we moved on from that in 2015 but I guess not. i don't need anyone's affirmation for being myself, I am myself whether or not anyone on the internet thinks it's cool or not.

What I'd actually like is to find descriptions of experiences that are like mine, but all I find under certain tags are "if you are *insert particular identity* then that's valid!" like... thanks, that's not actually what I need, what I need is specific people with specific experiences to express their frustration with the shit that frustrates me too. I don't need my head patted like I'm a child. Even if you thought I wasn't valid, I would still exist and still have to deal with the world.

[tansyuduri]

So I edited like 40 pages today and I might have gone overboard

Also brainstormed ideas for a fic and am now nearing the edge of an anxiety atack.

[cryptosexologist]

brain. please.

[spxllcxstxr]

Jayce and Viktor with a S/O who is Hypersensitive to Loud Noises • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Request: hi !! how are you ? <3 your jayvik fics are so cute ☺️could i mayhaps request jayvik x gender - neutral reader headcannons with a reader whos hypersensitive to loud noises ? <3 tysm 💙-- anon

Warnings: gn!reader, hypersensitivity to loud noises

A.N: I'm so glad you guys like my jayvik stuff!!! I have a lot more in the works (including fics!!) Thank you so so much for the kind words, I hope you enjoy!!!

•

Jayce and Viktor are very understanding of your hypersensitivity. They never want to make you feel like a lab rat or test subject, but throughout your relationship they do take note of how loud is too loud and overwhelming for you. It’s because they care about you, of course

Viktor is especially understanding of it because he isn’t always too fond of touch. So he likes knowing your boundaries and how much is too much. They don’t walk on eggshells, but they do try to do everything as carefully and as quietly as possible. The last thing they want to do is trigger you and make you wince in pain at the volume

Jayce once slammed the front door of your apartment in frustration and immediately filled with guilt as his face drained of color. He saw you flinch and cover your ears and that man was in tears. He is just absolutely in love with you and the thought of causing you pain, even accidentally, just kills him inside. He always places his hands gently on your cheeks, peppering kisses on your forehead in apology

Viktor is mostly the same when it comes to accidentally making a loud noise. Sometimes his cane will fall to the floor making a loud bang which triggers it. Viktor likes giving you a tight hug as an apology as he whispers little things in your ear. He’s a bit of a mess as well, but he knows that accidents will happen and that you wouldn’t hate him for his lack of control over gravity

More often than not, Jayce and Viktor’s lab is filled to the brim with random loud noises. Sometimes they’re high-pitched beeps, other times the whirring of electricity, or the clanking of gears mashing inharmoniously together

(On those few days when your partners aren’t hectically fiddling around with their tools, they’re scribbling notes in their notebooks are bickering over equations scrawled across the blackboard. It may not be particularly peaceful, but it’s certainly more tame than testing out their latest idea involving the capabilities of hextech)

Because of this, your partners have a set of noise-cancelling headphones in the lab. Theyre your favorite color with little doodles in permanent marker that Viktor and Jayce once did when they hit a particular snag in their research. The headphones usually hang by the door so they’re within reach when you first enter the lab. If you ever forget them when you walk in, Jayce and Viktor remind you to grab them (usually accompanied by a little kiss on the temple if their hands aren’t full)

Additionally, Jayce and Viktor hold onto little earplugs with them. They’re always in their pockets, just in case. Your partners are very attentive and never want to be unprepared, especially when it comes to you

If there’s ever an exceptionally loud noise they always drop what they’re doing to find you. Even if they’re out in public, their priority is their partner. They’ll first make sure your ok before escorting you away from the source

If you prefer physical comfort like hugs, your partners will gladly oblige. You’ll sit in Jayce’s lap while he places kisses to the back of your head, his hands will rest on your waist, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your skin. Viktor will usually hold your face between his hands, amber eyes scanning over your figure, murmuring little endearments or encouragements to you

Never ever feel like a child or a burden because of this. These two are very supportive and happily drop everything for you. Your partners are so in love with you. They often try to improve the noise cancelling headphones for you, or find other ways to dampen loud noises. They find joy in helping you, just like you and Jayce want to find ways to make Viktor’s life with his leg easier and more enjoyable

•