#I'm just setting the record straight

[thegroundhogdidit]

watching season 1: lmao izzy is gay and homophobic haha

watching season 2: i have severely misjudged the situation

[baldurspeen69420]

I might be shooting myself in the foot here but I keep thinking about this and feeling conflicted so fuck it

In the days of olde (like what two months ago maybe?) I made a post about perceiving Astarion as a pansexual (I wrongly called him bisexual in the post) man with a preference towards men as a headcanon of mine

But lately there's been so much discourse around the sexualities of these characters, Astarion especially, and I just want to put down my stance here in case someone sees that old post and gets the wrong idea

The Baldur's Gate 3 characters are not gay or straight or "playersexual". They're pretty deliberately pansexual. I don't even think they're written as preferring any gender over another, contrary to the headcanon I held previously (it was a silly comment that really just blew up too much and not something I even agree with anymore particularly)

Romancing any companion as any gender is completely legitimate and true to their characterization and that's final in my book.

I just wanted to correct myself and say that definitively. If you're going around saying Astarion is clearly gay or whatever you're being a doofus

I'm also sorry to anyone who I made uncomfy with that post forever ago because it was so reminiscent of the discourse and erasure going on, I wasn't even aware of "gay Astarion" hot takes at the time of making it and it was careless of me overall

[jnpje]

sigh. so it's come to this has it. my life has arrived at the stage in which i am an absolute Tolkien nerd. alright then

[number1wah]

can i be real for a second

Nina wholeass insulting asking Maggie not once but TWICE "Who even buys records anymore" was SO OUT OF POCKET

[silverysongs]

parts from the camelot revival cast recording that make me smile, act 2

not comprehensive. might be in an order. featuring 20% more jordan donica.

ENTR'ACTE. we've got the true theatre experience guys (minus the exit music.)

jordan donica's perfect french during the madrigal

the hazy, in-the-other-room feel of the madrigal strings at the beginning of "if ever i would leave you"

jordan donica's perfect vowels.

the dreamy strings when lance comes back in after the instrumental interlude

"it's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt." / again with lerner's lyrics, but taylor trensch does a such good job making them come alive.

"...and fidelity is only for your mate!" / shouted towards the direction where arthur disappeared. have to say, i do love mordred's fierce loyalty to his mother even if he is a toad.

[guenevere, whistling terribly] "stop! you are terrible at whistling!"

"i'm a beginner! i just need practice and encouragement!" / "the very last thing you should have is encouragement." / WHAT are the implications of that statement, arthur???

"my father used to say i sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice." / this joke has no right being so good.

"what do simple folk do... to forget?" / love that this line could be played ironically or straight.

"what else do the simple folk--" / sighing: "genny." / when i tell you that i almost melted when i heard this on the cast recording

that verse in "fie on goodness" that's just about scotland, and then: "fie on scotland, fie!!!"

the entire ensemble during "guenevere"

trumpet fanfare/snare hit after arthur says "those guards are going to die tonight"!

the slow dirge of winds and percussion at the end of "guenevere"

[unboundwanderers]

Genshin rpc. It's time for me to terrorize you all with my worldbuilding questions. So. Now. In the middle of March. I have the ultimate question for all of you....

Does Teyvat. Have. Santa Claus?

Discuss.

[frankenmouse]

And frankly, the whole puritan nonsense is BS too. You wanna get theological? The whole "Don't lie, lying is a sin" is a (who would have guessed it) massive oversimplification and misunderstanding of the 9th commandment. Which is not about lying in general. It is SPECIFICALLY about "bearing false witness against your neighbor."

I.e., Don't perjure yourself.

That's it. Don't lie in trials. This one specific circumstance.

But god forbid anyone spouting off about the Bible actually read the fucking thing. Or any concordances. Or learn any kind of actual theology. Nope. Just stop at what your Sunday school teacher taught you when you were 5. That's clearly a solid basis for navigating complex moral and ethical issues.

"lying is wrong" what evangelical nonsense is this???

[scatteredshowersposts]

Playing God (Paramore)

How can that be logical? Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat

2. STFU! (Rina Sawayama)

Silence, finally in my head But it’s too late, you already left You’re preaching, even though I’m dead

3. Je me promets (Meryem Aboulouafa)

كيفما سارت ا لأقدار و رفعتني عاليا ثم لطختني مع ا لأ رض و اشتق عظمي و سال دمي أعدني أني سأحيي فخري من الرماد الحمر الداف و أولع من عدمي حتى تشتعل في الحياة

However fate goes, if it lifts me high then sullies me with the ground and my bones split and my blood flows, I promise myself I will revive my honor from the warm red ash and blaze with my nothingness until life goes up in flames

4. Dig Me Out (Sleater Kinney)

Dig me out, dig me in Out of this mess, baby, out of my head Dig me out, dig me in Out of my body, out of my skin

5. Nada (Lido Pimienta)

Yo te soy sincero Y no le tengo miedo A la muerte Si es que me quiere Aquí la espero de frente y sonriente

I’m honest with you And I’m not afraid Of death If she wants me I’ll wait for her here, facing her and smiling

6. Magnet (Bikini Kill)

You don’t own me, fuck! You hold me down like a magnet And this is not the life for me

7. Courage to Change (Sia)

World, I want to leave you better I want my life to matter I am afraid I have no purpose here

8. I Bet on Losing Dogs (Mitski)

My baby, my baby Tell your baby that I’m your baby

9. A Girl in Trouble (Is a Temporary Thing) (Debora Iyall)

She's on the mend and knows that she's earned The scars and the lines By and by - one step at a time Her love can dazzle and delight - she transcends

[galaxy-fleur]

RE4R is so goofy because you might be having a blast going through villagers like flies, only to get knocked down by a fucking pig. And then you're quickly offed like an idiot because you panicked and you didn't have any healing items.

It's me, I'm the idiot.

[notascreepyasyouthink]

hi everyone i got plastered and showed one of my friends firecracker. then we watched the behind the scenes documentary, wamego. then he read mike patton fanfiction to me out loud 💀

[medicinemane]

Man, I'm just kind of dazed today

I woke up yesterday around 9am, didn't do much for the day, went to bed... realized it was too hot to fall asleep (cause my window is broken so I can't open it)

So I got up, filled 3 box with papers as I sorted out the magazines and mail

Then I needed to stay up till after 8am so I could go to the post office to return that bowl. Came back and laid down but... you know when your body just feels wired and you really need to sleep but can't? Probably cause it's pumping out hormones to keep me awake to compensate for me being so tired, that's my guess based on how it feels

Anyway, lay down and kind of drift off with a video in the background, but... I think I was just on the verge of sleep but not able to cross over... like dozing at best

Then I hear Bart making noise and look over and he's acting like he's hunting a mouse, and sure enough he was, so he helps me cup it, and then I go take it to a field outside of town to hopefully live a better life... but clearly wasn't sleeping if I'm doing that

And... I'm still up. I think I'm gonna try and take another crack at sleeping... I hope I can do it. Things do at least feel a bit cooler

But yeah, I'm a mess today, gonna be two days worth of dash to look through whenever I get up, and then I can also respond to the couple messages I've got

But oof... hate feeling like this. The non depressed part of me wants to die just because maybe then I could finally rest

[the-acid-pear]

Not normal about (#pun tw) girl mac.

[mv1simp]

Cuffing Szn ♥️

Max Verstappen x MidSize!Reader

it's cuffing season and all the girls are leaving to get a big boy (I need a big boy, give me a big boy)

As Max Verstappen's new girlfriend, you're one of the few WAGs on the grid who isn't a model and the only one, you think self consciously, who doesn't look like a model either. Good thing your big, strong boyfriend is here to set the record straight about how much he disagrees with you.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, trigger warning: explicit discussion about eating disorder and body dysmorphia, dom!max, sub!reader, size kink, this is just a shameless excuse for me to write smut about max's thighs, 3.3k WC

When you'd delivered one of your favourite patient's 3rd baby, handing over the healthy, crying pale blob (after thoroughly wiping it down because, you know) with a congratulations, Victoria, its a boy! you hadn't expected to catch the eye of the patient's very attractive, tall older brother at her side.

But as you walked off down the hallway once the baby checks were done, you were surprised to find Max stopping you with a large but gentle hand on your shoulder. You'd seen him a couple of times in Victoria's pregnancy, accompanying her and her husband at the ultrasound checks leading upto the delivery. You'd secretly thought he was so adorable with the way he handled his nieces and nephews patiently while his sister got scanned.

You'd also thought he looked positively delectable in his white linen shirt that highlighted his broad shoulders, and skinny jeans that clung to some of the thickest thighs you'd seen a man be blessed with. But making bedroom eyes at patient's hot family members was generally frowned upon (although not explicitly prohibited in the Hippocratic Oath, one could argue) so you promptly forgot about the handsome blonde 5 minutes later when the emergency bell went off.

But he stood before you that day, looking every bit as attractive as you remembered, even more so with a pink dusting on his cheeks as he asked if this was the last time you'd be looking after Victoria?

You tilted your head quizzically at him, your neck a little strained from looking up at his 6 foot frame from your 5"1 one. Yes it is, you informed him, and because new families often got anxious, you sweetly added that it was a good thing, to not see you again, because it meant darling Victoria and her baby are both healthy.

He confuses you again by saying that he was hoping to see you again. Oh! You smile excitedly, are you and your wife expecting? You pull out your clinic card and tell him that you're actually all booked out for the year but you'll make an exception for Victoria's brother.

His blush deepens. (Somewhere in a hospital broom cupboard, Lando Norris was filming this scene unfold and cackling.) Max rapidly explained that he's not expecting. Oh, and he's not married. And also he doesn't have a girlfriend. Basically, I'm single - he finally stammers out. (Rizzless and bitchless, Lando texts him). Thankfully, at this point you had caught on that Max was trying to ask you out, and after a quick phone call to the legal team to confirm you were clear, you turn back around to inform him cheekily that he could pick you up at 8pm Friday night for dinner. (Wait, this actually worked? a flabbergasted Lando now texts.) The emergency pager then goes off so you gently tug on Max's shirt to hint that you want him to bring his face down, give him a goodbye kiss on the cheek, and sprint off to Ward 6.

The dinner goes perfectly, with Max's charm returning in full force after a G&T - Sorry about earlier, schat, you're such a gorgeous woman and a very smart doctor, it makes me nervous - leading to a 2nd date and then a 3rd and then to a weekend trip in a romantic Nice winery, where you can't resist jumping into his muscly arms after a glass of wine and demanding he have his way with you. (He does. Very thoroughly. Multiple times that night, and the morning after. Thinking about it still has you blushing.)

6 months later, you two are officially going out and you're making your first appearance as his girlfriend at the races. You had carefully dressed in a classy Mirror Palais dress, complete with matching heels to save your poor boyfriend having to bend down too much. You'd also become rather turned on at seeing your normally soft, gentle cat dad of a boyfriend turn into an absolute menace once the Redbull suit is zipped up, terrorising his way all the way to P1 and living up to his nickname of the Dutch lion. As his assistant guides you to the podium ceremony, you're stopped by various fans who compliment your outfit and ask for pictures. The media attention is very new to you, as Max had been very insistent on protecting your privacy as you two established yourselves as a couple. But everyone had been so nice today - until you started noticing the dirty looks thrown your way, glaring up and down your form. And then, a couple of snide comments from passing fans about how you were very confident to wear such a body hugging dress, especially with your curvy figure.

You roll your eyes at their clearly jealous tones, and walk over to the podium ceremony to greet your boyfriend. He breaks into an adorable grin when he sees you, his whole face lighting up as he easily scoops you up for a deep kiss. The cameras around you two go crazy, but don't pick up his whispers when he sets you down and leans in, telling you that you looked so pretty today, schat, he'd been staring at you so much GP had to tell him to focus, and how was your first race? nobody gave you a hard time, did they? You don't miss the way his eyes are attentively focused on your face, clearly still worried about the damage he had warned you about before you agreed to go public.

You aren't going to spoil his win over a couple of snide comments. Not at all, baby you reassure, before whispering back that he looked really hot in his tight fireproofs, could he pretty please bring them home later when you give him his reward for such a good performance on the track? The tip of Max's ears go pink as he struggles to maintain a straight face for the cameras. Giggling, you press a kiss to his cheek and murmur you'll see him after his interviews.

Later though, when Max is in his interview across the paddock and you're being introduced to the other WAGs, you can't help but notice how different they all look in their body hugging dresses compared to you. Although you wouldn't be called fat, you aren't slim either, and you're nowhere near the tiny, trim figures the other girls maintain. Once the seed of insecurity is planted, it's very hard to stop it growing out of control - and at each race or public event or launch party you attend at Max's side, you start to pick apart more and more insecurities about yourself. How you're so much shorter than the numerous models on the grid, making you feel childish and round compared to their lithe gracefulness. How their delicate collarbones and ribs can clearly be seen at all times, but yours only if you twisted your neck a certain way. And they're all so lovely, chatting eagerly with you and interested to hear about your work, asking if you'd take so-and-so on as a patient, you had a great reputation already even though you were a new doctor in Monaco! The conversations distract you from your worries for a bit.

But afterwards, when you'd be laughing at cat memes online and sending them to your boyfriend, you'd come across the paparazzi pics of you speaking to the WAGs and felt sick to your stomach at how huge you thought you looked compared to everyone else, clearly standing out as the plainest one amongst their flawless faces. Some of the comments agreed, saying that it was just sad that the best driver on the grid had the ugliest girlfriend, and couldn't Max buy his gf some ozempic with all his tax evasion money? Comments that would have made you laugh at the originality now suddenly had you sobbing, and you're glad you hadn't stayed at Max's tonight and had to explain the state you were in.

When you'd been younger, in college, you'd started struggling with managing your stress levels given you were a perfectionist working towards a very difficult medical degree. Having always been a stress eater, you frequently binged on junk food, and obviously ended up gaining quite a bit of weight. Your family and ex boyfriend had ridiculed you endlessly, and so the year after you had to work hard and lose it all, which you had managed to do. You'd mentioned this to Max in passing, a couple months into dating when he'd spotted an old college picture of you and muttered so fucking cute, pocketing it.

You didn't tell Max about how you'd lost the weight though - with a vicious binging and purging cycle for the better chunk of a year. You'd grown out of that "phase" once you'd left college, or so you thought - because it was almost too easy to slip back into it now, to enjoy the sick pleasure at barely eating all day and seeing the weight drop on the scale, then bingeing on whatever you wanted because it didn't count, you'd throw it up anyways. You had to be very careful with it this time round, because your boyfriend's attentive gaze had been fixed on you even more so than usual - noting how you've been wearing higher heels, how your dresses are still as gorgeous as ever but never body hugging anymore, how you spend hours before a race now perfecting your makeup instead of joining him in the garage and don't spend the nights at his anymore. You weasel your way out of his questions when he asks you repeatedly if everything was okay, schat?

But you weren't able to fool him any longer after attending a charity gala for one of his sponsors. You'd actually been happy with your appearance for once, pleased with your slimmer waist this month, but as the night went on you started to feel the fatigue of starving yourself catching up, leaning more and more into Max's side as he glanced at you with concern. Rubbing your back soothingly, he asked if you wanted to leave early, but you shook your head, murmuring you were okay, your feet just hurt a little is all. He frowned then, hating to see you in pain just to be dressed up for some stupid event he couldn't care less about. Bringing you to the empty lobby, he told you he was going to grab your coats and have the car brought round, end of discussion, you need to rest, okay liefje? You didn't have it in you to protest any longer so just nodded. You hadn't realised just how much you'd been leaning on him until he left, and as stars started entering your vision, Max returned just in time to catch you before you stumbled.

You felt him firmly grab your waist, fully supporting your weight as he led you out to the car, lowering you gently into the seat and even buckling you in. You started feeling a bit better inside his Aston Martin with the aircon on, nibbling on a high protein low calorie bar you'd stashed in your clutch. Regaining your alertness, you notice the tense atmosphere, with a stormy expression on Max's face as he drove rather furiously through the Monaco streets, his hand not even resting on your thigh like it usually did but gripping the wheel tightly. Maxie - you begin uncertainly, hoping to diffuse the tension and ask why he was upset, but he cuts you off with a terse Don't. Let's wait till we're home.

So you wait, until you're both walking in through the front door. Max rips off his suit jacket, rolling up his sleeves, but he still doesn't talk and instead heads to the kitchen. You follow him, sitting on a barstool to admire how he still looked so handsome in the fitted sky blue shirt and tight navy pants, even when he was clearly mad. As Max starts cooking, his back to you, he tells you about how growing up his sister Victoria had to go to therapy for a long time because she wouldn't stop throwing up every time she ate because their father told her she was too fat (despite looking like a buffalo himself, Max snorts as he sets down a simple but delicious plate of chicken pesto pasta with salad in front of you), about how Max has seen countless girlfriends on the paddock purposely avoid eating all day, including his already stick thin model exes, and how Max himself would be called fat every month or the other by some trashy gossip magazine, because the media is just fucking toxic, he hisses. This is why I wanted to keep us hidden away from the cameras. He glances pointedly at your plate, where you've eaten the salad and chicken and not touched your pasta. You sigh and pick up your fork, slowly working your way through the food as you tell him that you suppose your diet had somewhat...spiralled out of control, but honestly, Max, I'm completely fine, and you two can't avoid the cameras forever given how he's the frickin F1 winner at all-

Don't tell me that you're fine. Do you really think I don't know what's going on? Max demands tersely with crossed arms. Finally finished with your meal, you hop off the stool to neatly place your plate in the sink, ignoring his question. Standing behind you, he watches you wash the dishes, still not even reaching his chin, even in those damn 6 inch heels you're still wearing. You do respond when he asks you just why you're putting your body through such torture.

C'mon, Max you say with an eyeroll, You know why, I need to lose some weight, I'm so much heavier compared to all the other girls and all your exes, and you deserve to have a girlfriend who looks-

Don't tell me what I do or don't deserve, schat. I always want the best and that's why I picked you. You're really gonna question the choice of a world champion, hmm? Max's deep voice is now right by your ears as he leans down behind you. You feel a shiver run up the back on your spine as he curls his huge arms possessively around your waist and thighs. He continues his whispers, his hands roaming up to your plush tits and another squeezing your ass, telling you You're so goddamn pretty. Every single part of you, just for me, making you bite your lip and breathily moan from his affections - it'd been a while since he'd had his way with you with all your avoidance, after all.

You feel him slowly unzip your dress, and the silk easily falls to the ground, leaving you only in your stiletto heels and a deep red lingerie set he’d gifted you for your 3 month anniversary. You tense, already feeling self conscious, but before you can say anything Max has wrapped a large hand around your waist and easily flipped you around to sit on the kitchen counter. You gasp from the action, hands automatically going to rest on his broad shoulders as your face comes level with his.

I haven’t made it clear just how lucky I am to have such a beautiful girl all to myself, schat, Max says huskily, before pulling away to unbutton his shirt, his blue eyes darkening as they roam over your pretty tits spilling over in the lacey bra, over your cute plush tummy, and over those deliciously soft thighs he adores. His hungry stare is really starting to drive you wild now, and you beg at him to hurry up and finish undressing. Chuckling, he throws his pants to the side as well, now only wearing his tight boxers. He pulls you forward on the counter so you're flush against him. See what you do to me, sweet girl? Hmm? he grinds the very prominent bulge in his boxers against your own damp core, making you gasp. You get me so hard and you haven't even touched me yet, that's the kind of power you have over me.

At his words, you don’t hold back from running your hand all along Max’s well defined chest. Your boyfriend is so much bigger than you and it's incredibly sexy. He towers over you easily with his 6 foot frame, all wide shoulders and swollen biceps and muscled thighs, and you don't hide the hypnotised look in your eyes as you trace from his thick neck down to his slutty waist, desire and desperation coursing through you, replacing any inhibitions you'd had earlier.

He grasps one of your wandering hands in his own, his larger palm easily dwarfing your tiny one and making you bite your lip at the difference in size. His attentive gaze doesn't miss this either, and with a low hmm he brazenly asks if you found it as hot as he did, the fact that you were the perfect size for him to snap into half if he wanted? He knows he's got you right where he wants as your pupils go wide with desire, breath hitching at the thought of your big boyfriend using his strength against you for once.

Then he's pulling apart your pretty little set, lace ripping and a large hand easily wraps around your entire throat, pulling you into a breathless kiss that has you moaning at his skilled tongue. You barely have time to collect yourself when he suddenly lifts you up by the waist, biceps flexing, and your eyes widen as you're lifted impossibly high in the air and find yourself straddling his thick shoulders, his face now at the perfect height to bury his tongue into your dripping pussy right in front of him. Max! you squeal, utterly ruined by his impressive display of strength. You're desperately scrambling for purchase at the cabinets behind you, head banging back against the wall as he relentlessly thrusts his wicked tongue into your puffy folds.

And he only sets you down after you cum obediently all over greedy lips like he demands you to do, then gently carries your shaky form to the bedroom to show you multiple more examples of how you were just made to take him, truly the perfect girl for him, weren't you? You'd been too blissfully fucked out by that point to form a coherent response.

Needless to say, you find yourself caring very little next time strangers had anything to say about the way you looked, thanks to Max's hands on affections (he'd also taken you to therapy like the supportive boyfriend he was, bless him.) He'd quickly formed a personal favourite method to prove to you just how desperate he was for you and how you had the world champion in the palm of your hand, whenever he saw that look flicker into your eyes from time to time. He'd take you back home, make you undress yourself for his hungry gaze, then lift you up into his arms, folding your thighs up against your waist from where he held them. You’d moan as he slid into you, bouncing your whole body onto his hard cock like you were a ragdoll, making you scream his name endlessly as he fucked you mid-air.

And sometimes, when he was feeling particularly possessive, he'd flip you around, pressing your back to his toned chest, as he made you watch with him in the mirror how he obscenely slid in and out of your dripping pussy. Whispering in your ear that see, like he had told you, he had such good taste, don't I, schat? And as you met his heated gaze through the reflective surface, clenching around him when you saw the pure love and raw desire in his eyes, you couldn't help but agree.

---------------------------------------------------------

A/N: guys can you guess I have a thing for boys who are big. Big boys, if you will. Someone just let me sit on Max’s lap goddamn 💸💸 as always lmk what you think and if u have any requests!!

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Kinktober day two

STOP STOP STOP. Sex tape with OLD MAN LOGAN

“You camera shy, sweetie?” he teases as he sets up the recorder, his eyes seeing how you blush and hug yourself.

“I've just never done this before,” you admit shyly, cautiously eyeing the recorder.

“'s okay, baby. You know I'm not gonna show it to anyone, it's just for us,” he assures you as he stands up straight.

When Logan had first suggested the idea, you'd been against it. Mostly because you'd never recorded yourself having sex and it scared you. Then one day, you'd let it slip that you were curious about it, and when he said you two could try it out slowly and stop if you were uncomfortable, you agreed.

“I know,” you mumble. “It's still a little weird. I feel...like I'm being watched.”

“That's the fun part, sweet thing,” he tells you, walking over to you.

He pushes you to lie back on the bed and he kneels on the floor, his head between your thighs. He kisses you softly, smirking up at you when your legs quiver.

You glance at the camera again, eyes uncertain.

“Look at me, baby,” he says, sucking a hickey onto your thigh, just below the edge of your panties. “Eyes on me. Forget about the camera.”

You glance down, watching his dark eyes become fierce with an animalistic desire.

He nuzzles his face against your mound, groaning lowly as he feels you already wet through the thin fabric.

You gasp, eyes fluttering.

“That's it, sweet thing. Relax for me, yeah? Just let daddy take care of you, hm?”

You nod softly, eyes on him. “Y-yeah, I just…what if I don’t look pretty on the camera?” you ask shyly, pretty cheeks blushing a soft pink.

Logan frowns, geniunely perplexed. “What? Baby, why wouldn’t you look pretty? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and you look even prettier when I fuck you.”

Despite yourself, you giggle. Somewhere between nervous, embarrassed and flattered.

He smiles softly. “Don’t you ever doubt that, baby. You look gorgeous no matter what, yeah?”

“Okay,” you whisper, nodding softly.

“Atta girl. Now just let me take care of you. Ignore the camera, pay attention to me.” He licks your cunt through the fabric of your panties. “Understood?”

“Yes,” you say breathlessly.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you whisper, eyes fluttering up to the camera.

He spanks the side of your thigh. “Eyes down here, bub. That camera ain’t gonna treat you how I do.”

You force your eyes down, holding his gaze. He grins, pleased, and gently pushes your panties to the side. He exhales softly. “Look at her, so pretty, so wet…” he murmurs, almost as if to himself.

You swallow thickly, heart racing in your chest. He can hear your heartrate increase and he smirks.

“I know, bub. You’re so eager for me, I’ll give you what you want.” He kisses your pussy. “And then, we’ll watch the video over and over again until you realize how beautiful you look when I fuck you.”

- - -

HEHEHE brain rot about old man Logan is TOO real

Blog masterlist

This has been updated to part of my Logan Kinktober 🫶🏼

Part 2 here!!!

[osaemu]

GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ THE CUTEST COUPLE ON THE INTERNET! ❜❜

.ೃ࿐ streamer!au: what happens when you flirt with one of his many rivals?

contents: fem!reader. playful jealousy, it's nothin' serious. toji flirts with you <3 chat continues to make fun of satoru + fortnite slander. pretty short but uh... anyways.

author's note: live laugh love streamer!gojo

"c'mon, satoru," suguru drawls, smiling at your boyfriend through the screen. "how'd you get eliminated so fast? you must've set a world record," he teases, poking fun at the way satoru completely bombed the last round.

you snicker from your spot on satoru's bed, and he turns and sticks his tongue out at you. satoru had convinced you to come over just a couple minutes ago, and any hope you had of doing your homework in peace flew out the window the moment he went live. 

"shut up," satoru huffs, turning back to his monitor and scrunching up his nose at suguru. the two are close enough for them to banter and insult each other without any fear of resentment. suguru laughs in response, velvety voice resulting in a burst of heart emojis from the comments.

"well, i gotta go," suguru sighs, leaning back in his dark, plush chair. he smiles and waves with a reminder of when his next stream will be before signing off. 

satoru spins around in his chair a couple times and scrunches up his face at the screen. "why are you guys still here?" he asks, ruffling his hair and raising an eyebrow. "y'wanna see my girlfriend again or something?"

the chat explodes with a flurry of yes's, so satoru swivels his chair around and looks straight at you. he looks at you expectantly, opening his arms and beckoning you. "c'mere, sweetheart," he says, voice singsongy and light.

"you're so annoying," you mumble, rolling over and hopping off his bed.

"and i'm all yours," satoru replies immediately, shooting you a cheeky smile. 

whenever you call him annoying or stupid or a clueless idiot, satoru responds the same way every time. and both of you know that you certainly can't do much better than your sweetheart of a boyfriend, even if he is the brattiest boy you know.

you run your fingers through your hair and walk over to him, resting your chin on his shoulder and waving at his camera. "hey guys," you say with a smile. satoru turns to his head to kiss your cheek affectionately, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer.

as you lean into satoru's embrace, you scan the comments. most of them are either hi's and hello's, but a select few make you laugh.

yuuji-itadori: they make me feel so single :( 

inumaki: brb im about to violently throw up

toji-fushiguro: she can do so much better tbh

satoru scoffs at the last two comments, jutting his chin out and glaring at the screen. "why are you two still here?" he huffs, pointing at the camera and narrowing his eyes. the hand on your waist tightens as satoru pulls you into his lap. "inumaki, don't you have a fortnite round to lose? and you, toji, i'm this close to blocking you from my streams!" he grumbles. 

the chat explodes with various expressions of laughter, and you can't help but giggle at the responses satoru's jibes get.

inumaki: kys

inumaki: whats wrong with playing fortnite??? most fire game ever fym

toji-fushiguro: im not here for u loser

satoru mimicks inumaki with a high-pitched voice and goes on a minute-long tangent of why fortnite is the one of the shittiest games ever, and eventually inuaki chooses to retreat with a last snarky comment before he disappears. then, your riled-up boyfriend turns on toji.

"if you're not here for me, who could you possibly be here for?" satoru snorts, resting his chin on the top of your head. his hands intertwine as he wraps his arms around you snugly, securing you on his lap.

the next message from toji catches you and satoru off-guard, but your reactions are entirely different. you laugh and smile bashfully, while satoru nearly knocks you off of him when he yells "what?!"

toji-fushiguro: i'm here for your pretty gf duh

before satoru can fire a thousand insults toji's way, you reach up and clasp your hand over his mouth. your boyfriend's eyes widen in the reflection of his monitor, and you have to suppress the urge to ruffle his hair and kiss him stupid. sure, you'll probably make out with him after the stream, but you think that it'd be even more fun to mess with him first.

"aw, you think i'm pretty?" you ask playfully, directing your words at toji. "i've seen you around," you muse, twirling a strand of hair around your finger with the hand not covering satoru's mouth. you smile coyly at the screen before continuing, "you're not so bad yourself, honestly."

satoru whines incredulously against your hand, and you can't suppress the laugh that slips past your lips. he bounces his foot on the floor impatiently, and eventually he reaches around you and quickly presses a couple buttons to end the stream. "baby, i love you but sometimes you drive me crazy," he grumbles, hoisting you over his shoulder as he stands up. 

"let me go!"

"okay!" he replies, dropping you on his bed with a cheeky smile. satoru's eyes narrow as he watches you scramble to sit up, and you puff up your cheeks indignantly. satoru plops down next to you and pulls you into his chest, face barely an inch away from yours.

"what was that?!" satoru whines, glaring at you sullenly. he tugs at the bottom of your shirt and juts out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.  

"satoru, are you jealous?" you snicker, leaning in and kissing his nose. he scrunches his face up and frowns, but the corners of his mouth seem to tilt upwards. satoru pulls you into a kiss and holds you there for a second, smiling against your lips. 

"no," satoru huffs, rolling his eyes. "i'm hotter than him, and i'm not a total asshole." he wraps his arms around your waist and nudges your cheek with his nose, clear blue eyes focused on your lips. 

"true," you agree, wrapping your arms around his neck and melting into his embrace. satoru really is the best boyfriend you could ask for—everything about the two of you just works.

satoru pinches you gently and kisses your nose. "say that you love me."

you smile and close your eyes, suddenly more relaxed than you've been in the last couple days. "of course i love you, dummy."

"love you more, cheate— ow, i'm kidding, i'm kidding!"

[timedyne]

yuzu and citra are dead because the yuzu/citra devs shot themselves in the foot. they continually POSTED footage and updates pertaining to games THAT WEREN'T OUT YET, which gave nintendo actual foothold to take them down for encouraging piracy. this is recorded directly in the legal documents for the case. they also (apparently, this is according to my friend who is more active in the emulation scene than i and i don't know of any recorded proof so take it with a grain of salt) straight up shared links to piracy sites in their discord which is an obvious no-no for any emulator???? and people straight up going on nintendo's OFFICIAL SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS saying "fuck you i'm just going to emulate [insert game here] using yuzu" which is. well. loose lips sink ships.

fuck nintendo and all that, but this is almost entirely on the backs of the devs for being stupid. to any aspiring emulator devs out there: don't post about anything relating to piracy ever, especially don't post about the games THAT YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE ACCESS TO YET, and wait a while before saying a brand new game is playable on your emulator.

also: they settled out of court. no judge saw the case. this isn't setting any sort of legal precedent. all of your other favorite emulators are fine for now as long as they don't make the same stupid mistakes yuzu was making.