#I'm just sad I didn't fuck around more I was too focused lmao

[ozonecologne]

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[shima-draws]

hey sorry this isn't a suggestion or prompt but i was wondering if you would recommend watching SAO Alicization? i didn't rly care for the gun gale arc tbh, and i'm truly only attached to asuna (and yui but i dont think she shows up after the alfheim arc) plus i heard kirito has a different love interest in alicization? idk if thats true but i like him with asuna so do you think alicization is worth it to watch?? no pressure, just wanted to hear your thoughts! :)

Hi sorry I’m answering this so late! But yes. YES you should ABSOLUTELY watch Alicization

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Season 3 is the best season of the series and the entire arc is a culmination of all the previous arcs. Everything from Aincrad to ALO to GGO was just building up to Alicization it’s so so good

Unfortunately Asuna kinda takes a backseat in this arc, Kirito is the main focus for most of it,, If you want THE Asuna arc I’d highly suggest the latter half of season 2 if you haven’t seen it yet bc that focuses strictly on her. But I will warn you to bring tissues bc it’s fucking SAD as hell. Alicization is really sad too tho so you can’t really escape either way lmao

If by ‘love interest’ you mean another girl for Kirito’s harem then you’d be correct lol BUT we also get Eugeo and he is Everything to me. If you’re going to watch Alicization for any reason #Do it for him. He vibes really well with Kirito and their relationship is just so. Genuine? They also have MASSIVE gay vibes (so technically Eugeo counts as another love interest 👀) but even if you only like them platonically they just fit so well together. Eugeo’s the first male character around Kirito’s age that he gets close to so we get to see a side Kirito never really shows around the girls AKA Kirito just being really goofy and a tease and not. Holding himself back when it comes to social interactions. Idk really how to explain it but his characterization is so good and Eugeo brings out all these great sides to his character. And Kirito brings out all the best sides to Eugeo’s character and they just positively bounce off of each other and it’s just *clenches fists* I care them infinitely

Anyway sorry for word vomit I’m very passionate about SAO and Alicization in general so yes please watch it I’m alone out here yelling into the abyss. I need more people to talk to about the Yujikiris 😤

[izzy-b-hands]

So. I'm allowing myself a vent post or two abt Stuff in the Brain today that won't fuck off, but it'll all be under a cut if I feel I'm at risk of being too wordy so folks don't gotta see this if they don't wanna. And on this one I did get wordy, multi-paragraphs so. fair warning if u decide to be brave and read thru it lol

I'm behind on getting Mum a bday gift. Like two weeks behind. Partially bc money, partially bc the thing I really wanted to get her involves bidding on ebay and attempting to win a listing (and I just haven't managed it yet lmao), and partially bc like:

For once I've been living my life for me, thinking abt me and Housemate first and foremost, and focusing on what I actually want/need from day to day, and that means I'm away from my phone a bit more than usual, which means I've missed some calls and texts from Mum and just haven't been as Available via phone/apps/etc as I've been in the past

(including one time in the last week or so where Housemate and I stepped aside to the kitchen to make ourselves mac n cheese, and Mum was late to calling me for a planned call, so I figured I was safe to leave the phone by the couch while we cooked. Nope! In that less than half hour, 25 mins at most that it took us to finish mac and get plated up, she figured we'd both A. fallen down the stairs and were now dying from brain bleeds while the cats sniffed us in panic and fear B. decided to cut her out of my life forever and so now I wasn't going to be answering her calls (tho this point I didn't know until a much more recent text where she admitted to it and did say she was ashamed of feeling that way.) )

So I really need to get something out to her, either the chocolates I was planning on sending for her and the family from a local shop, the Snoopy Build-A-Bear plushie with a lil 'I miss you' tshirt and a voice thingy inside it with me telling her to remember that I love her and am always grateful for her help and care and things like that, whatever will fit lol (this is the fucker that triggered this whole train crash of a set of thoughts today lmao), and/or something from one of the ebay listings I've been trying to get (I just need to accept it and pay the buy it now price considering what the thing is isn't like. Uber rare? But apparently Bon Jovi doesn't have their figurines made any more, so they're a bit harder to find and I'm gonna risk not getting one at all if I don't just. do the dang thing lmao)

I'm thinking the Snoopy would be best/easiest for rn, but I keep getting stuck on what I'll say for the recording and it's so dumb but like:

I know, for the sake of both of us and the deeply grown and intertwined sort of emotionally incest-flavoured codependency Mum and I have, we probably should eventually try going NC or LC for at least like. a month or two in the future? Probably even a bit longer? Not as like a 'this is forever' thing (unless something would happen that would point to that as the best option for both of us), but just until we can maybe both heal a bit and work closer towards something even vaguely approaching a more normal mother/son relationship.

And the particular fear is very silly but like. I'd hate to say the things I have planned, that I mean (I do love her, and I know she does her best, and so I'm grateful for every bit and every sort of help she's ever given or will ever give me), and then we someday go NC or LC, and she's hurt by having the plush and audio around as a reminder of how things were before. I could see her throwing it away in a fit, and then being so sad and begging for a new one by the next day. And I'd want to get her one. I don't know if that's right of me or not.

Like, the trauma has me Entirely overthinking this and I know it's ridiculous, you know? But still. Got the Build-A-Bear tab open on my phone bc the chocolate is at least partially to be shared, so that's Not Enough as a partial belated bday gift; and I'd like to hit another paycheck (or part of it, since the uni rarely puts the full fucking direct deposit in on scheduled payday lmao) before I try for the Bon Jovi figurine (and hope it isn't bought before that point.) So the plush is really the best choice, and I don't want to wait any longer to send anything out bc like. Her bday was at the beginning of March, this is fucking ridiculous of me and not how I like handling gifts at all, for anyone!!

Fingers crossed I just. Get the fucking recording done, get it ordered and have them send it out to her, and that'll be enough until I can get my hands on a figurine and/or order the chocolates and candies for her, her bf, and to share with the rest of the family.

[kindestegg]

Heya! I'm curious to hear your opinion on the last episode in general, I don't think you've said much from what I've seen. Mainly on Collie and stuff, and especially what you think about them going away in the end there. Are you perhaps planning to write a post on that or anything? I just like your takes on things so I'm curious

... can I say something? It makes me stupidly emotional in a positive way that so many people have been showing interest in my opinions and thoughts about toh and collector. I knew my posts on them had gotten somewhat popular, but it genuinely surprises seeing how many people seem to think of me and want to hear what I have to say! You guys are too incredibly sweet and I just want to thank you!

This got... pretty long since I assumed you wanted an overall rundown of my thoughts on the episode not just focused on colly so uhhh... tagging it as long post.

As for my general thoughts on the episode... they are... uhhh A LOT of ohhhhh that's so cool ohhh that's so awesome... it was genuinely just a very fun high spirits episode for me, I was surprised seeing how easily colly was swayed and how willing he was to try and be friends... he is truly a very kind being! How strong raine was to push belos out and keep going, their ingenuity as well with all their movements!! They're so cool... the way they confirmed my suspicion that Collector really loves titans and knows a lot about their anatomy and culture!

I REALLY didn't think they were gonna do the Luz death fake out, that shocked me a lot since we already had a fake out with hunter, but now I'm starting to think they maybe did that to be a direct parallel to flapjack, as that one also featured the glowing lights rising. But then we met King's mom who is a total furbait for me so like!!! It's fine!!! Helloooo sexyyyyy!!!!!!! I love that they're genderfluid that got me so happy I love that he explains it by calling back to King's line about being queen and king that was already so damn transgender!!! I can't believe King is bigender just like her dad!!!

They have such good vibes anyway so it was really nice seeing them. Ngl I was kind of against seeing the titan again bc it was made such a point he was gone and we should mourn them, but she did kinda... die right after anyway so it's fine, and also again she is so cool it's kind of hard to not want him to have shown up. I love hiiiim. And then for that matter. Their conversation was so sweet and I love how it puts emphasis on two core themes of the series: the leftist sentiment of it being severely more important to fight to protect others genuinely from oppression and violence than to be respectable at those in power, and that Luz was never meant to be a chosen one, but she was a good kind person who deserved through her being there to be trusted. And is it not often just a matter of someone who is good choosing to do good when it counts?

I was a little sad that colly didn't get to do much fighting alongside the cast, but then again so didn't... most of the hexsquad! And his role was so important too, protecting everyone inside the Archives!! He is so very strong and i am so proud of him. Luzs titan form was so epic and her fight scene along with eda and King and eventually also raine was so cool!!!! And so was the scene with her just standing over belos... fuck yeah

I do not know if many more people noticed!! But the symbols around the titan as his spirit left luzs body were alchemical sun/gold symbols!! See!!! It's a titan symbol!! Also for that matter, the symbol on luzs chest on her titan design is the sun connected to the earth im pretty sure!! And i do love that King's dad said i love you with a bread pun but it is funny he almost... forgot to send any message lmao. It's okay though I'm sure she just wasn't prepared ♡

Ah and then the ending!! Was cute!! Personally I find the ending and epilogue pretty okay, I don't think it'll satisfy everyone of course, but I liked it well enough, everyone's endings felt nice. I HAVE actually spoken extensively (although more casually) about how I feel on Colly's fate, you can find that on my commander's answers tag as I responded to an anon on it, and I DO have a post about it planned but it will take... quite a long while to make, currently I am still laying down bullet points and I'm only to the second part of it and there are already four pages... uhm. Yeah. That and I'm starting to realize that it might make half the fandom want to crush me in a metal compactor. So thats fun. But well! I am committed to information above all!

Thank you again for the ask and for thinking of me!

[what-if-nct]

yooo i have been dead all summer and not really doing anything for wayyy too long but the thing that brings me back to tumblr was a dream i had last night which was all over the place but basically i was a freshman in high school again and haechan was this one classmate i had that was sooo damn annoying but he followed me around to all my classes and literally everywhere? like even my closet at home (probably a gay euphemism from my mind lmao) and i had to take the act again so i got really stressed so i went to a classroom where my friend told me "the hugger" was (apparently there was an official position where someone was just paid to hug stressed people) ane there was johnny?? but completely purple and weirdly skinny and tall and he hugged me and then i woke up :(( johnny hugs sound wayyy too good for me not to have them 😭 now im slightly sad because i want to hug johnny and i cant 😭😭 what the fuck is my brain even trying to get at with this 😭 anyways joyce!!! how are you!! how's life going for you?? sending lots of love💞💞💞

Hii! Good to hear from you! And that sounds so much like Haechan, clingy and annoying. You're his new Renjun. Alien Johnny being paid to give out hugs is also pretty on brand for him. Him using the alien filter is forever in my brain. He's just a goofy little guy. And I've been doing fine. I'm not sure if I want to see the Barbie movie in theater again or wait till I can just rent it from Amazon or YouTube. But then I remember how uncomfy the seats were. I fell like if my friends and I spread out more it would have been better cause I just wanted to sit criss cross applesauce so badly cause of how uncomfy the seats were. Since it was my birthday we planned to get a treat after, I didn't even want something sweet I just wanted a Popeyes biscuit for some reason. But we were all too tired. After saying all of that I think I'm just gonna wait to rent it. I liked the movie I just wish the end was different and it focused more on Barbie's journey through self discovery. I think Ken's part could have been nixed or different like him just being a supportive bumbling but sweet himbo boyfriend. I know there was a message I just wanted more Barbie. Though I found out from the barbie movie Instagram. Me and Stereotypical Barbie both have Leo Sun and Pisces Moon. And Ken is a Pisces and Hyunjin is a Pisces. But I would let Hyunjin live in my dream house. We can even share a bed like Midge and Allan does. I send you so much love and happiness🩷🩷🩷

[writinggremlin]

Hey! Hello!! Hi!!! I'm here!!! I didn't abandon this!!! I started reading and reacting last week, had to take a break, and didn't get back around to it till today!! I'm here though, so let's GOOOOOO!!!!

FITZ FOTZ FOTZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ-- oh. 1905-- he's not arriving yet. ...FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FITZ FUTZ FITZ FITZ FITZ F--

Oooo a ✨masquerade!~✨ (I fucked up my emojis because yesterday (as of typing that) I decided that it would be a fun idea to just type out every emoji and also count them all. So now my "frequently used" section is just a ton of flags, and one lone sparkle jdvdjdbdjx)

AWWWWW THEY'RE CUDDLING!!! AAAAAAA!!!!! A! (A is for: Adorable)

More descriptions of Fitz being a cat. Love to see it.

"Fitz felt more comfortable with himself than he had in a long time." AAAAAA HE'S HEALING!!!! HIS INSECURITIES ARE FADING!!! YES!!!! AS HE DESERVES!!! ...He's not gonna be able to keep that, is he? It's the whump community we're talking about here. And there's still a lot left of the story. ...Well-- at least he gets this moment! :D!

He is purely reveling in the attention Lex is giving him. As he should.

"Fitz grinned. 'You know me. I'm always careful.'" ...Uh-huh. As if he didn't get captured because he took a gamble and made a bet. As if he is not about to find himself caught up in some shenanigans-- Yep. Whatever you say, buddy.

"[...] and bring their high-class thralls with them as though they were prized pets at a dog show." JSHSISBSKS THAT TURKISH VAN COMPARISON I MADE-- THEY'RE COMMON SHOW CATS TOO-- LMFAO THE FORTUNE TELLING STILL HASN'T WORN OFF YET!!!

"Fitz watched as a vampire approached one and sunk her fangs in, realizing that these humans were the refreshments." The vampire equivalent of The Punch Bowl (tm).

"the hors d'oeuvre thrall" I love how that's this character's designation now. Move aside everyone, there's a new star of the show!! The Hors D'oeuvre Thrall (TM)!!!! WOOOOOO!!!! POGGIES!!!! BABAGABOOSH, BABYYYY!!! HORS D'OEUVRE THRALL HYPEEEE!!!!

Fitz watching that is just-- that one "That should be me" song by Justin Beiber. I can see it being a goofy ass vine. Like it shows them all at first, then it focuses on Fitz's face as he watches, the image all desaturated and sad with that song playing over it jdbsksbshsveh

God damn Fitz-- do you just think every guy in fancy clothes is handsome or something?? Lmfaoooo

Ok. There we go. There's Jessica. I saw you say that I guessed wrong last time lmao

Oh she's running this show too?? Damn, alright! (...I--... should've read the title.)

uh-oh-- UH-OH--

He's about to to become the show pet he was always meant to be-- /j

This is the closest we will probably ever get to him becoming a literal cat in the story lmfao

"[...] and all of his protests… and thoughts… slowed… down." Btw, I am a sucker for when the effects seep into the narration like this. Delicious soup achieved, my friend.

"His own thoughts felt like soap bubbles, empty and popping as soon as he tried to grasp at them" OOO!! I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE THAT DESCRIPTION!!! THAT'S A REALLY GREAT WAY TO DESCRIBE THAT ACTUALLY!!! OUGH!!!

"I'd like to introduce you to my… companion, Fitz." ✨Companion✨

UH OH!!! THE POCKET WATCH-- UH OH--

Ok I need to take a break. Probably gonna have to wait on this till tomorrow. Sorry.

LMFAO ITS NEXT SATURDAY NOW HI!!! HELLO!!! THE ADHD HIT HARD LMFAO. LETS CONTINUE YIPPEE!!!!

"He needed to watch… needed to sleep… needed to obey…" more delicious soup!!

NO!!! HE'S NOT A REFRESHMENT!! HANDS OFF!! NO TOUCHY!!!! >:(

YEAH FITZ!!! YOU TELL HIM!!!! Though that was quite indignant-- hopefully nobody's gonna get too upset over that.

...Somebody got upset over that.

If a vampire is trying to feed from you, just say no! A vampire cannot legally feed from you without your consent! :D! (/reference)

Anygay-- OH SHIT FITZ-- YEAH!! BULLY HIM-- BUT ALSO THIS IS NOT THE PLACE OR THE TIME FOR THAT!!! YOU ARE A LIL DUMBASS SOMETIMES Y'KNOW THAT?? LOVE YOU THO!!!

"Filthy cattle" hmmm?? Is this who I think it is??

YEAH FITZ, GET HIS ASS-- BUT MAYBE NOT RIGHT NOW THOUGH!! PLEASE!!!

"[...] a stupid, clumsy vampire." BAHAHAHA YES!!! Even his mental narration is throwing out insults lmfaooooo

IT IS THE RAT MAN!!!! THE RAT KING MAKES A RETURN!!! WAHOOOO!!!! (...Bully him, Fitz.)

LEX TO THE RESCUE LETS GOOOOO ...pls don't be too upset

"This worthless piece of garbage spit in my face!" And he'll fuckin' do it again!!

"Lex practically growled in a tone Fitz had never before heard." Oh he's ANGRY

Poor Fitz. He does take well to enthralment! ...perhaps maybe a little too well.

Lex and Jameson slap fight part 2? 👀 *grabs the popcorn*

"[...] It's your sire who has all the real power. You must be such a disappointment." OH SHIT-- DAMN-- THATS LOW RAT-MAN. THATS FUCKING LOW.

YEAH!!! SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS LEX!!! (...You're making a scene though-- like-- now everyone is gonna know. Uhm...)

DELICIOUS SOUP PART THREE!!! THREE COURSE SOUP MEAL OVER HERE!!!

OUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!! NOT THE BLISSFUL SMILE!!! NOT THE BLISSFUL SMILE!!!!!!!!!!! (inhale) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

ITS SO GOOD ITS SO GOOD ITS SO! FUCKING! GOOD!!!!!! AGH!!!! FUCK!!!! THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE!!! THAT'S THE SHIT!!!! THAT'S THE FUCKING SOUP!!!! THAT IS EVERYTHING I LOOK FOR WITH THIS SHIT!!!! THIS IS THE EPITOME OF MY FAVORITE TROPES!!!! HHHHHHHAUGH!!!! AUGH!!! OUGH!!!!! FUCK!!!! F U C K!!!!!!

SOUP!!!! ULTIMATE SOUP FOR YOU!!!! BRAVO!!!!! EXCELLENT!!!!! BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED SOUP!!!!

GUYS!!!! READ THIS SHIT. RIGHT NOW. THIS IS A (lighthearted and joking) THREAT.

...This might even beat sleepy Fitz. Idk man, it's super close.

The Rare Bookseller Part 56: Jessica's Soiree

Previous > Masterlist

September 1905

tw: mind control, dehumanization, slavery, blood drinking, assault

Fitz couldn't stop fidgeting with his mask. He'd adorned both his and Lex's masks with as many sequins and feathers as he could fit, procured under protest by Lex, who insisted that neither of them should stand out.

Ever since he'd given in to his desire for Lex, life had become far more interesting and rewarding. As soon as they had realized there was no need to pretend to be aloof, they spent the night entangled in each other more often than not, an arrangement that suited Fitz just fine. Fitz draped himself across Lex's lap while reading, allowed himself to be held close to the vampire's chest while sleeping, distracted Lex with his hands while he played the piano, accepted blissful shoulder rubs accompanied by cold lips trailing down his neck.

Fitz felt more comfortable with himself than he had in a long time. Lex seemed greatly cheered by it, as well, despite his dangerous ongoing quest to enthrall hunters weighing on his mind. He smiled more, spent more time with his music. He never seemed to miss an opportunity to run his fingers through Fitz's hair or nuzzle into the nape of his neck, looking at Fitz as if he was the eighth wonder of the world, a sight Fitz never tired of.

Tonight, though, Lex was more nervous than he'd been in some time. "You really don't have to accompany me to this, Fitz," he said. "It's going to be unpleasant, and you may see things you'd consider distasteful."

"How many people ever get the chance to attend a vampire's ball -- well, and still be in their right minds? I couldn't possibly miss it. Besides, don't you want to show me off in front of everyone?"

"No," said Lex firmly. "As much as I'd love to display you to the world, vampires' envy is a dangerous thing. If any vampire there dare lay hands on you -- well. Try to be careful, for both of our sakes, will you?"

Fitz grinned. "You know me. I'm always careful."

They arrived at the ballroom a little past nine. The masquerade ball was an annual affair run by several old and fashionable vampires of the city. According to Lex, anyone who was anyone in vampire society was expected to be there, and bring their high-class thralls with them as though they were prized pets at a dog show. Fitz was eager to see what the upper crust of vampire society was like, and untroubled by Lex's warnings. He knew how to conduct himself at a ball, and had an unusual appetite for the distasteful. Lex seemed like a sensitive soul for a vampire, so to speak, so Fitz found it hard to take his warnings completely seriously.

Lex only hesitated slightly before pushing the door open. The ballroom was full of mingling vampires dressed in expensive, dazzling costumes, a sea of rainbow colors and intricate lace and ornate embroidery and glittering gemstones.

It didn't take long for Fitz to see the distasteful sights Lex had warned him about. Scanning the room, he saw that while some thralls were walking beside their masters freely, like he was, many more were entrapped in some obvious way. They were dressed in costumes as elaborate as their masters', with bindings made of silk ribbon and golden handcuffs encrusted in jewels. All of the thralls' costumes revealed their necks, and most revealed much more. Most were kneeling beside their vampire masters, looking demurely at the ground or staring blankly into space as the vampires laughed and talked. There were a few humans chained to the wall, with dazed expressions and fresh wounds on their necks. Fitz watched as a vampire approached one and sunk her fangs in, realizing that these humans were the refreshments.

The sight of the enthralled humans should have repulsed him, but he couldn't fight the confusing swirl of feelings in his heart as he watched a handsome young man, wearing only shorts and and a jeweled leash, gazing up at his master with entranced adoration. The thought of serving Lex so completely was terrifying and enticing in turn, and Fitz had to look away.

"Welcome, esteemed sir." A hypnotized human approached Lex as he stepped into the room, her vacant, lidded eyes barely able to focus as she curtsied low. "May I please interest you in an hors d'oeuvre?"

Lex glanced at Fitz. "It's… polite to partake, when offered," he said apologetically. He took the thrall's chin in his hand, looked her in the eye, and hummed a simple tune of obedience and pleasure. The thrall's eyes dulled further, accompanied by a dazed smile, and she let out a soft sound of pleasure as Lex sipped from the wound on his neck.

As Fitz's conflicting thoughts intensified, he doubted for the first time his decision to accompany Lex here.

"Oh my! Is that Mr. Alexander I see?" called a woman's voice. As Lex let the hors d'oeuvre thrall go on his way, they were approached by a woman in an elaborate dress of fine pink silk, decorated with silk flowers and rhinestones. Everything from her hair to her mask to her shoes seemed carefully considered and smacked of money and taste. A delicate golden leash allowed her to pull along a stupefied-looking young man with exceptionally handsome features and an equally gaudy gown. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Good evening, Lady Jessica," said Lex politely. "I appreciate your invitation. It seems you've outdone yourself this time. The ballroom is impeccable."

"Oh, I have. Wait until you hear the music I've hired -- it's enough to please even the most particular of music lovers, I should hope." She turned to Fitz with an eager gleam in her eye. "And what is this pretty little thing?"

"My name is Fitz, sir," he interjected just as Lex went to speak for him.

"Oh, my. So adorable and so bold! Mr. Alexander, I'd heard you had acquired quite the thrall for yourself, but if I had realized he was this irresistible, I would have surely stopped by your manor. I can't believe you were keeping something this delightful all cooped up in your dusty old library."

"Yes, I purchased him at the last major auction," said Lex stiffly.

Before Fitz could protest being treated like a show pony, Lady Jessica stepped closer to him and all of his protests… and thoughts… slowed… down.

"Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" said Lady Jessica, ruffling his hair and kissing his forehead.

"Sweet…" Fitz murmured in a daze, swaying gently as Lady Jessica pawed at him. His own thoughts felt like soap bubbles, empty and popping as soon as he tried to grasp at them, replaced with simpler, honeyed images of subservience.

"You'd look so darling if only I could dress you. I can think of at least half a dozen outfits in my thralls' wardrobe that would look just perfect on you," she cooed. "Perhaps your master would arrange a trade for my thrall? Just for a weekend, perhaps?"

A sense of alarm tried to penetrate the cotton candy that clouded Fitz's mind. "No, I…" he said, trying to explain, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth. "…I want Master. I want to serve my Master."

"Aww! How absolutely precious!"

Lex stepped between Fitz and Lady Jessica, and Fitz mercifully felt his head start to clear. "I'm afraid that Fitz is not for sale or trade, for any price or any length of time."

"You're no fun," said Lady Jessica with a mock pout. "It's hardly fair of you to keep this thrall to yourself. But I understand. If he were mine, I wouldn't let a single soul touch him either."

"I'm glad we understand each other," said Lex. "If you'll excuse me, I see an old dear friend that I'd like to say hello to."

Fitz shook his head, coming back to his senses. "What the hell was that? What did she do to me?"

"Oh, that was Lady Jessica. Her aura basically removes human intelligence. Sorry you got caught in that -- she's the hostess of this party so I had to be polite and make small talk, you know."

"There sure is a lot of required decorum for this vampire soiree," grumbled Fitz, still smarting from embarrassment. "I confess I expected vampires to be a bit more… freewheeling. Hedonistic."

"This is a gathering of powerful and rich vampires, and you don't become a powerful and rich vampire overnight. All of the vampires here have lived many decades, if not a century or more, and are very stuck in their ways. Even the hedonism has a dozen layers of social rules underpinning it."

Lex was approaching a vampire who was very practically attired compared to everyone else, with a plain blue afternoon dress and a simple black domino mask with a single feather. She was accompanied by a similarly dressed woman in her thirties or so. "Good evening, Edith. Good evening, Katherine. I'd like to introduce you to my… companion, Fitz." He turned to Fitz. "Dr. Edith is an old friend of mine. Her thrall, Katherine, has been with her for… what is it now?"

"About ten years," said Katherine. Fitz was relieved to see that Katherine wasn't visibly restrained or dazed in any way, simply standing next to her master and observing the crowd.

"Charmed to meet you," said Fitz. "Ten years is quite a long time to serve a vampire."

"With any luck, it'll be ten years more," she replied.

"Alexander, I'm so glad you have a thrall again after what happened to poor Edmund. I only wish I could have done more for him," said Edith.

"It wasn't your fault. You did what you could," said Alexander. "Say, I wanted to ask you how Evelyn's oldest is holding up, after her bout with the flu…"

The two vampires began chatting about names that Fitz had never heard, Katherine chiming in at points. Ordinarily, Fitz would try to involve himself in the conversation, ingratiating himself to anyone new he meets, but he found himself constantly distracted from the dull chit-chat by the uneasy but alluring soiree. Here were a couple of vampires laughing and talking while sipping from bloodied thralls. Here was a woman wearing little more than a collar and mask, kneeling on the floor and doing tricks for for her master. Here was an eerie pair of identical twins with identical blank expressions, chained together with intricate bonds.

His attention was drawn by a nearby group loosely surrounding a vampire in a very old-fashioned suit, at least a century out of date. The vampire was slowly swinging an ornate pocket watch in front of a young man's face, like a mesmerist from a vaudeville show. The unfortunate young man was swaying along with the watch, eyelids heavy and drooping, his jaw slack as a bit of drool dripped from his mouth and onto the floor.

He couldn't take his eyes off the man.

No, he couldn't take his eyes off the watch.

The way it flashed… its weight… its rhythm… he just needed to watch it… watch it swing… watch it sway… back and forth…

He needed to get closer…

He needed to watch… needed to sleep… needed to obey…

"Hey, watch where you're going, human!"

Fitz was shaken from his unexpected trance state when he accidentally collided with a large and angry-looking vampire in a poorly tailored suit. He looked around and realized that he couldn't see Lex -- he'd wandered off and been separated from his port in the storm.

"You're not with anyone," said the vampire. "Are you a refreshment boy? Finally, some decent blood."

The vampire leaned in with intent to feed, and Fitz found himself filled with an invasive and uncomfortable aura, rooting him to the spot and dazing his mind even as it felt like bugs crawling beneath his skin. Even as he screamed at himself to flee, his conditioning looped its invisible chains around him, keeping him frozen and silent. He existed to serve vampires, to be obedient to their wills. The desire to submit began to drag his consciousness under, as he slowly tilted his neck…

You're mine, he heard Lex sing in his mind, as he had on so many nights. Mine and no one else's.

"No!" he said, snapping himself out of it and pushing the unwanted vampire away. "I'm not a buffet item for your enjoyment, sir. And if you'll excuse me, I'm heading back to find my master."

Before Fitz could turn away, the front of his dress was pulled into an iron grip, enough that he was almost lifted off the ground. "How dare a mere thrall takes that tone with me. Your master must be a half-wit or a weakling, because they neglected to teach you how to behave around your superiors."

As usual, Fitz's mouth opened before he could stop himself. "And someone neglected to teach you how to wear clothes and comb your hair, sir. How does it feel to be dressed worse than your so-called inferior?"

He knew it was a mistake even as the words left his mouth. The furious vampire let go of his dress only to grab his wrist, twisting it and forcing Fitz onto his knees. "Know your place, filthy cattle."

Unable to escape, Fitz spit at him, right in his eye.

His all too brief life flashed before his eyes as the vampire pulled back his fist with murderous rage in his eyes. He was going to die here. His head was about to be mashed into paste by a stupid, clumsy vampire. His master was going to be so disappointed things turned out this way, but probably not particularly surprised.

"Excuse me, Jameson." Lex materialized from the crowd, grabbing onto the vampire's fist. "You need to take your hands off of my thrall. Now."

"This worthless piece of garbage spit in my face!"

"And you're manhandling my thrall," Lex practically growled in a tone Fitz had never before heard. "Let him go and leave him alone, and we'll call it even."

Jameson scoffed, but released Fitz's wrist, letting him collapse to the floor. "I was doing you a favor, Alexander," he said, towering at least a foot over Lex with a sneer on his face. "Your precious little thrall was deep in trance and heading straight towards Lord Edgar. It's obvious it's neglected and longing for a taste of actual power to put it where it belongs."

Lex glanced over at Fitz, who was smarting both from the pain in his wrist and the sheer humiliation of being caught out by hypnosis that wasn't even directed at him. "I would tell you not to speak of things you don't understand, Lord Jameson, but I suppose then you'd have very little to talk about."

The rage previously directed at Fitz was simmering in Lex's direction, now. "Insult me all you want. I still know you're full of it," he said. "They say you're one of the most powerful vampires in the city, but you can't even stop an empty-headed thrall like that from doing as it pleases. It's your sire who has all the real power. You must be such a disappointment."

"You think I'm unable to control a thrall?"

"I don't think it, I know it."

Cold determination set into Lex's face, and he began to sing, loud and clear and beautiful and captivating. The vampire ball faded and warped around Fitz as that voice filled his mind. Lex sang of control, of obedience, of bliss, of sleep. Deep, deep sleep. A sleep where the only thing that mattered was listening, a sleep where he could obey so easily even with his mind locked in slumber.

Fitz's curiosity about what Lex was doing was the only thing that allowed him to keep his drowsy eyes open. As he swayed in the grip of his master's irresistible song, he heard a yawn behind him, then a thump, and then a larger commotion. Even through his rapidly blurring vision, Fitz could see thralls falling to the song all around him, slipping to the floor as sleep overtook them.

And then, Fitz's desire to stay awake and see what would happen was consumed by the much deeper desire to obey the song, to shut his eyes, to let himself fall under the spell. He felt a drowsy smile spread across his face as he sank completely to the floor, feeling as if he could listen to the song and dream forever.

Previous > Masterlist

I'm sure that won't come back to bite Fitz.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin

@whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist

@xx-adam-xx @vampiresprite @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini

@sowhumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

@steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada

@typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia

@a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

@enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot

@cinnamoncandycanes @avvail-whumps @tauntedoctopuses @secret-vampkissers-soiree @whatamidoingherehelpme

@strawbearydreams @ghost-whump @tippytappytyping @natthebatt @fire-bugg14

@fuckcapitalismasshole @slightlydisturbedbeans @paperprinxe

[ryssabrin]

finally (90 hours!) finished cyberpunk. man idk what the game was like at launch but boy is it still real buggy. i've never played a game that crashed as often. seemed to consistently happen most often while driving around the map between regions. autosaves frequently enough to not be game breaking but annoying.

i did peek at the endings ahead of time to get the one i wanted lol so i did the sun ending bc i knew the star has you break up with river. i am of course curious how the other endings play out but not sure if i want to just go ahead and play them with this v or maybe roll a male v and romance panam. i focused primarily on intelligence, quickhacking and stealth so it could be fun to try out a beefier melee/weapons focused build as well. it was super fun albeit pretty cheesed to be able to just one shot a whole group of enemies with contagion. made the tedious police scanner thingies go much quicker.

i didn't know you could save takemura tho so i'd have to at least go back far enough to redo that to get the devil ending. wouldn't mind doing that with this v and playing through the river romance again tho. for the character with what feels like the shortest questline (and honestly his romance seems a bit tacked on? given the alternate ways his questline can play out if you fail/give up), i'm surprised at how much i really liked it! the dynamic of badass merc v falling for the sweet reliable guy who just makes her feel safe got me man. and i know i joked about it but i kinda like that she doesn't tell him about the relic. makes that last goodbye call so fucking sad i died. surprised i don't see his romance getting more attention it seems very underrated.

also damn they nailed the weird johnny and v dynamic. i was much more invested in that than i thought i'd be. even got choked up a couple times which i was def not expecting. seems like cdpr was so committed to the first person pov just for the effect of the pov switch when you're in cyberspace lol. really liked keanu's performance as well.

and i spent way too much time on the fashions. the wardrobe feature is so dangerous lmao. i was basically playing create a sim and bemoaning every npc i saw wearing something that isn't available for v.

[czarkaid]

hey hey hey! I was the bokuto at Tsukinocon this Saturday! If you saw me hit me up! I’d love to see all your pics and chat some more!!! (lmao I was all over the place so pls forgive if I don’t remember your name. esp of ur that camera shy kuro I loved u pls hmu I want that pic) Also @fiyrefox was my Akaashi so make sure to hit them up as well!

[enhypia]

JS ; exes

exes answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: park jongseong x gn!reader

genre: angst, mild fluff

words: roughly 1.7k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jay speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jay speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing, neglect, breaking up

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hello, i'm (y/n)

and i'm jay

we're (awkward eye contact)

uhh we're exes

[you guys were invited here today as exes for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

yup

*interviewer shuffles awkwardly

sorry it's just, our friends were the ones who signed up for us

yeah, we just found out about it three days ago

[but are you guys still okay with doing this?]

we're okay

just give us a few minutes to get used to environment

*(y/n) chuckles

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. are you guys ready? should we start?]

*jay nods

ready as i'll ever be

[how long were you guys together?]

we were together for almost 3 years

[how long have you guys been broken up?]

about a year and a half now

[who broke up with who?]

i did they did

[why did you break up with him?]

so this was all a year and a half ago okay? no coming for jay, he's grown, we've grown

thanks?

you're welcome

*jay laughs

uhh.. it just really reached a point where i felt neglected in a way? and it was just tiring? i kept thinking 'do i deserve this treatment?' and i hated that i was doubting everything, including his feelings. so i just said let's talk about it and then yeah we split up

*jay drinks and (y/n) laughs

sorry sorry

nah i just needed that

[okay, how about we officially start the q&a portion between the of you now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jay wins

*he picks up a card and facepalms after seeing the question

goddamn

should i be scared?

not sure, but you might opt to drink though

[do you blame me for what happened to us?]

oh my god *(y/n) laughs

i know right

so we're unpacking emotions today? okay noted

you can just drink if you're not comfortable with it

i'll drink but i'll still answer, might ease your mind no?

*jay couldn't stop his head from nodding

*(y/n) drinks

i admit that i blamed you at first, but then i got to thinking that it wasn't just you, i was also at fault too since i never really vocalized what i felt? i just let it build up until it reached the point where you couldn't do anything about it anymore, and i couldn't too.

yeah but it's more of my fault since i felt something was wrong but i just brushed it off, i brushed you off.

....

shot?

*jay smiles slightly and both raised their glasses to cheers before drinking

we were both at fault and i don't blame you, jay. i hope you stop blaming yourself

*(y/n) smiles softly then picks up a card to stop any reply they might get from jay

god why are these questions so heavy? it wasn't like this from other episodes

*jay and crew laugh

okay, hit me

[what's your biggest regret about our relationship?]

what the fuck

SEE ?!

*both laugh and jay drinks

okay, next question

no, i'm answering

[we won't stop you but just reminding you both that it's okay not to answer if you drink]

the alcohol releases the unhinged-ness

in other words, this is really just us using the alcohol to actually say what we feel

i think you already the answer, and it's that i didn't do anything about us even if i felt something was wrong. i just kept on focusing on my career that i reached a point where i brushed everything off as nothing. and in the end, while i got the success i wanted, somehow i also feel like i'm on the losing end really.

*(y/n) drinks making jay laugh

what? it's my first time hearing all this !

it was a rough break so

omg is this our closure ???

*jay's eyes widened

and it's filmed ?!?!

*everyone laughs

couple goals *(y/n) does a hashtag

oh wait *(y/n) looks at jay

exes goals *both do a hashtag pose

*they laugh, ignoring the sting in their hearts

okay, okay moving on

*jay laughs again

is it a heavy one again?

nope

[do your friends hate me?]

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

please 😭

we have the same friends

we share a lot of mutual friends

that's why there was like tension for a month in the friend group because no one knew what to do

i'm sorry you had to endure all that friends

remember when they literally made an organized schedule to hang out where we wouldn't see each since the break up was still fresh?

yeah like i got heeseung on tuesdays

and i got him on thursdays

😭😭😭

we love them though, they did their best to console us both

thanks guys <33

*(y/n) picks up a card

goddammit

[do you think we could've actually worked out our problems?]

i think it's unfair that i get a lot of heavy questions

i have the power of god and anime on my side today

i think we could've, if i just had taken the actual time to reflect and sit down and talk, we could've worked it out.

*(y/n) slaps jay's arm

i told you, stop blaming yourself

k

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

*jay picks up a card and

oh

what?

*he is stuttering guys, he is fidgeting

[do you wish we were still together?]

oh

yeah

.....

*both drink

i mean-

*jay has been paralyzed, he did not expect (y/n) to answer

i'm happy where i am right now, maybe there are moments of weakness that the thought crosses my mind but i don't dwell on it too much. i think we're both still learning and growing.

*jay doesn't want to think about the fact that (y/n) never said a clear yes or no

*(y/n) picks up a card and groans

please just drink to this

why?

[what do you think of me now?]

....

drink.

no?

why?

because-

why?

i'm answering

why?

i want to?

no.

right now i'm just really proud of you.

*WORLD PAUSE, (y/n) is malfunctioning

it's a little sad that i didn't get to witness a lot of it but i promise i watched from afar and i'm so proud of you. like it makes me feel lighter in a way? knowing that you're still going and pursuing your dreams. it just made me at ease that -

*(y/n) drinks, looking very much like snow white's apples

are you blushing?

jay i will kick you

*he laughs and pinches (y/n) cheeks making them redder, (y/n) slaps his hands away

i won't hesitate bitch

how about you huh?

[what do you think of me now?]

*jay you should know not to tease too much or else it'll bite you back

i think you're absolutely amazing.

*jay could only blame himself

i am in constant awe and there's this pride that i have in me whenever i see you thriving. it's weird because i thought i'd be bitter about it, but since i knew of your goals and how passionate you were, all i felt was pride. it did hurt a little that i couldn't go "that's my baby!" anymore.

*alert! jay's ears are red and it's spreading to his cheeks and neck

okay next question!

*he quickly picks up a card making (y/n) burst out laughing

everything i said was true though.

hajima. stop. pause. i'm not listening

*(y/n) laughs at flustered jay

this is the last one.

[question for both: if you could tell me anything, what would you say?]

sheesh

same

rock paper scissors? loser goes first

*jay wins

*(y/n) drinks

can you turn around for this one, like don't look at me.

*jay followed

i want to say that,,,, that it's not your fault for putting your future first. it kind of stung since you made me feel like i wasn't a part of it but i know that wasn't your intention. i understand your actions and i don't blame you. if i was in your position i probably would've been the same. i'm sorry that i didn't try harder, like you said we could've made it work but i just got so tired, i hope you can forgive me for that as well.

okay i'm turning around as well, your turn

*(y/n)'s eyes are glassy, but jay doesn't need to see that

i want to say that i'm sorry for neglecting you. i feel like you're tired of me saying sorry but that's really all i could do. i forgive you by the way even if i don't get why you're apologizing to me. i also want to say that, it wasn't you. it sounds cliche but you weren't the reason i became like that, it was me. it was never you. so please don't blame yourself for anything. please don't question your worth because you were more than enough.

yah i didn't want to unpack that

well i still know you and i was given the chance to say it now so

*(y/n) turns around wiping tears, jay is sniffling

i need a drink damn

*(y/n) pours a shot and jay as well, both drink after clinking their glasses

[you guys good?]

*both looks at each other and chuckles

we're good

i can't believe we have to thank our friends for setting this up

*jay groans

[care to answer one last question that is in everyone's minds' right now?]

oh god

is it what i think it is

[will we see you guys be featured again? maybe exes to couples again?]

let's drink!

*both take one last shot and waves to the camera

*(y/n) shrugs and jay winks

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments (peep last one)

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: i was planning to post this sooner but my pharma prof suddenly dropped a 6-page activity lmao rip, im scheduling the timestamps i forgot to post last update sorry sorry. my angst skills are subpar forgive me but i tried my best. i hope you like this one too !! jake's will be uploaded next ! please look forward to it <33

[klm-zoflorr]

I love your take on it! The thing I imagined was more so something like, when you're old enough for your powers to manifest the government gives you a form to fill and boom. You complete it with what you can do and voila. I don't think it's mandatory, but most people do it and then share with other people what they can do, cause come on superpowers are fun! I don't think it would be too personal to ask... Well actually I think some people would rightfully get to be cagey about it and then would unfairly be suspected of being supervillains. Cause we looove a bit of prejudice in superhero society dont we? So the standard is just, you share lol. Or else people might also think you have no power and are ashamed of it. I think older teens and stuff could sometimes put each other in danger like idk drop a classmate off some height to see if they can "reveal" their powers this way. It's mean as hell but yknow. Kids.

Anyways, for Jon I think most of his childhood teenagehood and early adulthood he was pretty drawn back, didn't talk much, because of the toll his powers were taking on him. So he might have mentionned he could do stuff like that but mostly he kept to himself and focused to managing it and not hurting people with it accidentally. Then as he got older he got into crime fighting/vigilante shit, started controlling his powers better, and started keeping the secret too to not have it be linked to his secret identity. Georgie knows, because she knew him from before! So at some point i think maybe when he was around 23? He started telling people he didn't have a power. Cause making up a fake power is kinda hard, you know. You have to make it up, create some limitations for it, remember it... Never slip up and use more than you're supposed to. And Jon just doesn't have time for that, he's tired! So he just says he doesn't have one and he doesn't use his power around people in civilian mode and try to block it out, that's pretty much what he's already doing all the time, so.

However I 100% think icebreaker activities "tell us about your power" would be a thing. Its just, if you say a thing there you can go back on it later and say you panicked it's not that big of a deal. It's like saying. Idk that you're adopted. Weird that you'd lie about it but if you have a good enough excuse it doesn't raise too many eyebrows. If someone is very anxious though, narratively there is a possibility to trap them in that lie and have them have to stick to it lmao.

Also, also, also! I don't think Jon would get that distracted by people being bored. I think it's the nicest kind of background noise to him. Also that he WOULD like to be bored, he basically never experiences that shit helppp. What happens is if someone gets a strong happy emotion, he's happy. But if someone gets angry or sad or gets hurts or that kind of negative strong emotion that's when he really starts to get distracted. Which means he kind of likes his job at the coffee shop this way, it's very mundane and people generally don't have strong emotions about coffee. He could never work at a daycare for example, children just have so many emotions all the time... Or an hospital lmao he'd get floored. Even a high school is a struggle, so much drama.

About that "two people who can't be in the same room" thing... Mh. I should do that more I think. Like, ice powers and fire powers? Can't be in the same room because their powers immediatly start clashing. It's fun xD. Only issue is by this point I feel like I'm starting to run out of canon characters lmaoo (says the girl who gave some of them the most useless fucking powers). Oh well, into OCland we go.

So yeah when I got the idea for the lovesquare graph I started by drawing the guys™, as you do. It... got out of hand. Really. Anyways so yeah short vidio.

The second image represents what their powers are, or at least what they pretend they are. Like, Jon as a hero has mind reading and mind control powers, as a civilian he pretends like he has no power (a rather stupid choice I must say, because pretty much everyone has a power otherwise, no matter how silly).

Tim as a civilian says he can see in the dark. His full power, the one he uses as Inferno, is to drain the power out of nearby electronics (Starlight style) and to make fire with it. It also allows him to see in the dark. One drawback of his power is he tends to fry anything electronic around him when he uses his power. Plus, it sometimes activates when he gets big feelings, so... Quite inconvenient.

You can check out more about this AU on my pinned!

[messofhell]

STANDING THEM UP BECAUSE YOU'RE SICK

note: these past few days(or maybe it was more? my perception of time is fucked rn so i have no idea lmao) sucked. no ideas whatsoever and even when i did have some, it was either too short, too long or unfinished (like many of my drafts atm😩) low-key planning to add charas to this post? if my brain decides to cooperate that is😑

chara(s): emma

wn: is it fluff? no idea, but definitely ooc and an unedited mess

SANO EMMA

... was so excited when you asked her out that she didn't catch a wink of sleep that night. the next day, she was really tired, but she somehow managed to get ready and get to the place you two agreed to meet at just on time. a small café she mentioned was one of her favourite.

"they're not here yet, huh..."

a quick look around allowed her to see that she was the first one to arrive so she took a seat at the table you reserved and waited. five, ten, fifteen... the minutes kept passing, but no signs of you ever coming. the other clients and waitresses were starting to give her odd looks and she looked down to her hands, clenching them.

they're just late... she thought, trying to reassure herself as she ignored the chatter around her. right! just late...

she pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked for any missed calls or texts from you, but there was nothing. what greeted her was the time she had waited for you to come, at least twenty minutes...

"......."

she wasn't sad per se, but disappointed in both you and herself. in you because, no texts, no calls... and since the day before you were completely fine, you probably stood her up. in herself for getting her hopes up, for getting so excited, for not realising that this would be the outcome. right now, she just wanted to go back home, take a shower and forget about today. but...

🎶🎶🎶

just as she was about to stand up and leave, her phone that she was still holding in her hand started ringing and she gasped. the name that showed up on the screen was yours, she had half-a-mind to not take the call, but finally, decided to hear what you had to say. when she picked up, the first word she heard was 'sorry...' followed by a 'are you still waiting...?' from you. your voice was groggy and she heard some shuffling noise, as if you were tossing around on your bed, causing her to frown.

"where are you, (l/n)-kun/chan?"

the call of your last name had you wince, but you didn't dwell on it since you definitely deserved it. instead, you focused on the matter at hand. her. well, no, you were the problem and though just apologizing didn't feel like it was enough, it was all you could really do right now, stuck in bed with a damn fever that just popped out of no-fucking-where.

"i-i... really wanted to see you today. i know it's cliché... but i literally have flowers f-for you in the living room."

the more she heard you talk, the more she realized that what she mistook for grogginess from just waking up was actually your croaky attempt to speak despite your sore throat.

"... and that's what happened... i'm sorry for not calling you sooner emma, i..." a cough left your lips followed by a curse and a small smile curved up on her lips. "i get it."

you didn't stand her up, you were just as excited as she was, even though a part of her was telling her not to believe you so easily, the other was just so happy to hear you wanted to see her just as much as she wanted to see you. she stood up from her chair, sticked her tongue to the people in the café, then turned around to leave, phone still next to her ear with this new piece of information that both reassured her greatly and worried her.

"how are you feeling right now?"

you glanced at the thermometer in your hand and groaned. "like shit... 38.5°C it says..." you threw the tiny object at a random corner of your room, even though it wasn't really its fault you were sick, and tossed around again, pressing your face against your pillow. " 'm thinkin' it was that guy from school... *cough* has to be...!"

"really? hmm, he was coughing a lot so maybe? ah! now that i think about it..." a flash of the guy you speak of coughing on your face popped up in her mind and she sweatdropped. "i think i know how you got sick..."

"yeah? well, tell that r-reason they owe us a date, a-actually, no, i mean..." you coughed again, this time flustered by what you said, but then shook your head with another groan. "haa, damn, whatever... y-you're the one i wanted to see..! kind of wishing you were my pillow right now... 'was even planning to sneak out earlier, but my parents stopped me..."

"your pillow?? sneak out? to see me?"

her heart swelled with happiness and she giggled as she listened to your sick mind's rambling about how much you wanted to see her. at some point during your chat, she finally reached your house and knocked on your door. your parents were the ones who opened it and, not wasting any time, ushered her towards your room as you kept going on ways to get out of the house, despite not really being able to get up.

"you won't need to, (f/n)-kun/chan." her voice overlapped with the one your phone and, when you pulled your head away from your pillow, you noticed her walking up to your bed smiling. "let's have a date here instead!"

on her way to your room, just like you said, there was a bouquet of flowers on the table, they were so pretty and exactly the ones she liked. but, what made her happy was the fact you were telling the truth and, just that fact, had her sit next to you on your bed, her hand running through your sweaty hair with an affectionate grin as she leaned down to peck your forehead.

"next time warn me, okay? i'll come again if you're sick."

[marichat-verse]

Mist Memories

Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)

Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol

Your POV

I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.

My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.

He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.

"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.

"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.

I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"

"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."

Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.

"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"

He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.

It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.

I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.

I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.

I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"

His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.

I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:

Dear Piper,

Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.

I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.

Yours truly,

Leo Valdez

I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"

I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."

I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.

"How?"

"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."

"How long were you dating back then?"

"Two weeks."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Silence; then a deep breath.

"No."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"

"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"

"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."

"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."

"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"

I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."

I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.

"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."

He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.

"Goodbye, Leo."

I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.

"Hey."

I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.

"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"

He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."

"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.

"I broke up with Leo."

His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."

His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."

"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."

"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."

"She knew all along?"

He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."

"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.

"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."

I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."

"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."

"I know that."

"Do you really?"

"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."

"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"

We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.

"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"

I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."

I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.

He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.

Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?

•••

Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend

[namtanlovesfilm]

tbh one of the worst things for me in ipytm (apart from... everything else) was how oh aew was basically a side character through it all, an afterthought, only there to provoke teh's character "development" as his boyfriend, he didn't get to be his own person on screen (the level of development of teh's friends vs oh's friends is so obvious). and idk if it is bc the writers love oab so much, but it feels like jai is the other protagonist of this season, replacing oh aew, which is fucking insane and super disrespectful to pp imo (especially bc they have him promote the show with billkin as if he was the other protagonist lmao) just such a disappointment all around to me (and same about the finding comfort in the fans not letting this go, thai twitter is still mad mad)

yeah that's actually really interesting of you to point it out. even in itsay, teh has always been the main character but at least oh-aew got almost an equal amount of screentime. in this, and that's despite pp being the one singing most of the soundtrack for the show this time around, oh-aew has definitely become an afterthought. I mean for me oh-aew is a less interesting character than teh (he's a little more smooth, more malleable, while teh is... well you've seen itsay), but that doesn't mean he doesn't have A LOT of potential as a character. I was actually really excited to see this season develop him, since teh was already such a big character. I feel like him realizing acting is not his calling should've been focused on way more bc I feel like a lot of students his age have this kind of existential crisis about what they're meant to do in life (it's me, I'm students lmao.) instead what we have is oh-aew basically being almost perfect in comparison to teh who's a mess this season, and that makes him even less interesting (not saying I would want the writers to ruin him too by trying to make him more 'flawed' lol.) so truly thank you for bringing this to my attention bc it's definitely really unfair to oh-aew as a character, but even more to pp as an actor. I don't think they've replaced him by oab, but it's certain that jai does take a certain place in the story that oh-aew should've occupied. I'm glad to hear that thai fans are mad, I mean we all are at this point. I did see an interview of oab saying he's receiving a huge amount of hate & it truly broke my heart bc I was sure it would happen. he's handling it really well & he's incredibly strong and mature for it, but it's really sad to see fans not being able to understand that he was literally just doing his job. so not only ipytm has ruined itsay & both teh and oh-aew as characters, but it's also bringing a lot of hate onto oab who truly doesn't deserve it :(((

xxx

[bardicious]

A Teensy Weensy Blog Update

I was quite diligently scrolling around my archive feed - privating some posts cause I just didn't like some and others had discourse I didnt care to see in my own blog (however I've kept any more recent ones cause meh - I guess the recent spite is still fresh) but what I've learned is...

a. I make way too many promises I don't follow through with, I mean well, really - but mental and physical health gets in the way and I just usually don't have as much time or interest to delve into all my artworks or post ideas.

b. those projects I promised to make are still rolling around in my brain trying to gain purchase, I cant promise that they'll ever get made or be made soon cause honestly Im having a social media melt down and need to focus on my career, so its all up in the air - still pondering the future of this blog and my time on social media

c. I have gotten angrier recently and major shocks its because I interacted with Marvel media again. That was my first mistake, really. But considering I will forever love the characters too much to abandon them - and I quite enjoy mutuals and some fans from there, I'll be making efforts to divorce myself from whatever the hell Marvel is putting out now and actually - truly - work on my interpretations of the characters. (Which will veer dramatically away from canon because not so shockingly I actually hate most of canon - I truly do - and oh please don't get me started on the writers, actors, directors that make all this garbage) (Marvel fanfic writers, I love you and only you)

d. I truly need to get back into more mellow fandoms like Garashir and Kurtbastian - cause those places be the bomb. And the bits of DC fandom that I don't want to beat with a bat. They're cool too. :) (I'm up to here with the bs discourse about batcest though - seriously dont @ me whether you hate it - I really just dont care for anti behavior)

e. I'm going to work extra hard to make this a positive space for people to follow me. Ill try to tone down negative posts (not cause I disagree with any of them - but cause I know focusing on the negatives really doesn't do anyone any good - that said don't be a dick to people who need to express their anger at something - that isn't people - basically chill the fuck out y'all and mind your business, there is a blocking function for a reason)

f. Really sad I had to turn off my anon asks cause I really did get some sweet people in there. Y'all are wonderful. I just cant cope with anonymous dick heads. <3

j. Might reblog less???? Not sure. But the amount of posts on my blog is becoming unmanageable (thats a lie, it already is - sobs-)

And yeah, that's it for now. Im still basically on hiatus until at least the new year (and gosh I actually go on hiatus quite a few times I noticed), currently living off romantic comedies and shows like the hardy boys and stargate. lmao.

Anyways, thanks yall for following, reblogging, and liking my stuff. <3 Truly whenever I see your tags and whatnot, you make my day. :)

[misterbitches]

i wish more than anything he could have had this. i love you man

i really fucking do

my love for nirvana and immense respect for kurt isn't something i ever expected. after being a huge fan of jonghyun too as a musician, a person who had things to say, a human being. the people around him. i fucking hate that kurt is gone and i was like...2. i got into hole when i was like 25 really heavily and refused to listen to nirvana. didnt' care about these white boys. but there's a reason why people love this band and why they loved kurt. i get mad sometimes at his death—selfishness—and then i make jokes to deal and cope. we all do with everything. it's just that and this is from a cis person...but i know so many trans people or people on the gender spectrum who have read his journals see him as someone struggling with gender. and after years of thinking and becoming such a huge fan i think that was honestly the truth. i think at this point we're all pretty sure he was gender queer or struggling with identity.

his aversion for oppression, his stand with the marginalized, not accepting racism, homophobia, transphobia BECAUSE THAT IS THE HEART OF DIY (spurred by my black people cos ofc it is and we do everything) and i wish that he could have beeen better.

to me it seems like his pain with his crohns (or wahtever he had) lead to his intense struggle with drugs because that's pretty common when needing pain management. on top of that, his family's history of MI. on top of that, his life being hounded and not being prepared for it (this i think is the idea of white privilege at work and wasn't naive of him necessarily, but...it's just something he thought wouldnt happen to him. that's whiteness at work as who they were as a diy fucking anti pop anti capital punk band. sonic youth said 'we didnt sell out, we made them buy in') and his rship with courtney. he said without court he might be gay or bi.

i won't read his journals, it's too fucking much for me and i dont feel allowed or maybe i will when i can handle it, but i know reading about them and him and hearing the way he changed his songs and his abhorrence for bravado, for men that talk about women as disposable and sex objects, for not being able to enjoy a punk band, for the whiteness and maleness. krist novoselic was a 6'7 fucking bassist and dave grohl is a sizeable dude with hideous tattoos. back then, no one said a fucking bad thing about them. come as you are.

we know that suicide is a state we get into. when you go to a psych ward you see that it's actually calm and an ebb/flow. it is extremely fucking boring. the thing is we don't know if these feelings last forever. we can't go back and time and history cannot change. it was his decision, like jonghyun's, to end his life. but i know there could have been longer. if they got help. i try not to resent courtney especially not now with people being irresponsible and unearthing the FBI report on him. he killed himself but it was definitely emotionally sparred by her and she should have told people what happened weeks before his death.

but no one failed him per se. his suicide note is full of hope and it kills me to see. he should have been able to be whoever he wanted. been a son, been a daughter, been anything.

whenever i hear the changed lyrics or see him in a dress or hear distress i dont know. i wish we didnt lose him but i also know that no one wants to go back to that time. it wasn't necessarily great but it wasn't all bad. and i wish commodity didn't destroy legacy. i wish we werent's so obsessed with the death and gore instead of the liveliness and hilarity of this band and of kurt. and i wish we could talk about him more and the idea that maybe there's so much going on with it; i have many critiques for things they have done, things kurt has done as well.

i'm talking in circles but i genuinely just get bummed. every day he is still dead. but this dude man......i love him a lot. i'm so glad nirvana gave what they did to the world. getting to know kurt so long after the fact is fucking hard sometimes. it is frustrating. but focusing on the positives too or trying to understand another perspective has given me a lot of insight. and i always try and remember that it wasn't just one thing, that nirvana were a band, it wasn't just him, and he could have been better but it just didn't work out that way. it's not solely about his internal pain and the narrative of a tortured artist is suffocating.

he wanted to be a star, make this insane pop song, and when he got it he didnt realize it became everything he hated. he was already struggling and all this shit hit a point. i have mad respect for them still. dave grohl said billie eilish is the kurt of her gen (about 2 yrs ago) and that drives me up a wall for various reasons. antiblackness and class. fuck that. these dudes were poor as fuck trucking it through washington with other bands and the basis is blacness and black art they were trying to fight and make it and give a shit man. it didnt turn out the way they could handle but they were not PRIMIING themselvs for musical stardom. no artist who cares would do that. but if you get the recognition you want because who doesn't, it comes at a price too.

this is why i critique commodity and capital so intensely. i participate, and i will have to as an artist. i don't have a desire to be poor because i've lived a life that gave me space to see what i want to do. i have class privilege (and a lot of debt) and i am grateful. but it isnt like i dont want peopl eto know. it's just that i know that i can't give in and accept and demand nothing and then decide to hoard it to myself. taht money that goes in funnels out and is not for me to keep. there is no trickling down. dont paly yrself.

artists like kurt and in a sense like MF Doom (rapper who only came out to be seen when he wanted to) or DMX even it's like....man u came out fucking fighting to be heard you know. do your thing. make your shit. be amazing. esp black people. DMX had a fucking face for a camera. hopefully i'm gonna watch belly at my best friend's house on the 28th.

i wish everyone who deserves to stay can stay until their body releases them in the most pleasant way as possible. jessica walter's death made me sad, but she was older and i'm so happy she got to live. same with cicely tyson. at the same time, the young deaths over drugs, suicide, accidents....id on't really get it. why is kissinger alive but these people can't stay? how did this come a somber tale of death instead of just i fucking love kurt cobain lmao

he's def one of those ppl that im like u rock. him, robeson, seberg to an extent. hm who else. wong kar wai, jenkins, joe (thai filmmaker whose name i cant spell.) all those people who are running forward on their own and beating their chest. yea i like that. an award is just another award. what matters is possibility and action.

RATHER BE DEAD THAN COOL

[fitmydaydream]

Apologies

Part 1/ Part 2 / Part 3

Prompt: The one where Y/N decides to give surprise to a stressed Shawn in studio but things don't quite turn out well.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Thanks for giving this a read. I appreciate each one of you. I say sorry if this sucks lmao bc I'm still an amateur. Feedback is always appreciated. Happy reading :)🌸

Making music isn't that easy as someone thinks it to be. Whichever song it is, it always has a lot of efforts, several sleepless nights and anxieties behind it which can never be seen. The worries of the song not hitting the exact right note you think of eats up your mind. Constant tugging at your hair, biting your nails out of stress, several mental breakdowns and waves of lack of self-confidence hits you making you unsure of everything.

This is what Shawn has been experiencing since the past three months. He was working on a new album which he expected to be the best one till now. It was in the process with 8 songs already prepared and 4 more to go which were taking a longer time than the previous ones and it was making a nervous wreck out of him. He wasn't sure where this was leading to and was really anxious about the album.

On the other hand, he was also not realising how distant he was being from you in the process. Your conversations have started to get shortened from day to day and the time you both used to spend together can be counted easily on fingers in minutes. This being another reason that was bothering Shawn. And you as well.

You started to observe Shawn getting so self absorbed to the fact that he sometimes didn't hear a word you say or purposely act like he unheard whatever you said. He sometimes forgot to eat or wake up just in the middle of the night and walk down to his personalized studio at your house. This was not bothering you for the first few months but now it was totally getting you.

But you, however, decided to stay calm about it anyway as you know what it feels like to have a deadline. Being an office manager yourself, you had a proper idea about how Shawn must be feeling. The stress eats you up slowly until you get the work done before you meet its deadline. You were surprisingly quite understanding about this issue.

xx

Today you took an off from work since you wanted to give yourself a break. These past days you have been dealing with so much workload that you were feeling exhausted. Constant traveling and dealing with clients had made your legs and mouth sore.

Also, today was another one of those mornings in the past few months when you woke up to an empty bed and an empty house which meant Shawn left for the studio early without telling you, again.

Being used to this, you climbed out of the bed and decided to give yourself a good bath. You spent a good hour in your bathtub with some relaxing music and scented candles. You were pretty happy today and expected the day to go well. *whoops*

After having your breakfast, you settled on your couch to watch some Netflix and have a relaxing time. You checked your phone in between the scenes for any messages from Shawn but all in vain. You were wrong about even recieving a good morning text from your busy boyfriend. You sighed and shrugged it off.

After watching several hours of television, you felt the need to do something exciting and thought upon giving a surprise visit to Shawn.

You knew how stressed and distant he has been lately so why not. You planned that you would pick up his favourite food from Taco Bell and drop the food at his table, have a short conversation and leave him to his work.

So you put on your blue distressed boyfriend jeans, a black tank top which said "Bloom" and your black vans. You styled your hair in a half-bun half-down way and left the house with the car keys, a jacket and your purse.

You inserted the car keys, started the ignition and drove off to Taco Bell to grab the food for Shawn.

The drive to Taco Bell was meant to be a short one. You put on some music and hummed along to it while rolling the windows down. It was a pretty weather with the sun not shining that bright.

After about 20 mins you reached Taco Bell and ordered a soft Chicken Taco with some Nachos and Chilly fries. You picked up the order after about 5 minutes of waiting and drove off to the studio where Shawn was.

You parked your car and stepped in the studio. It was quieter than the usual times you've been here. After walking inside, you met with Brian and Andrew who asked you how you were doing followed by an exchange of smile. You were greeted with some assistants giving you some narrow eyed looks who have always been jealous of you being Shawn's girlfriend but you were now used to them.

You reached Shawn's room. You viewed your stressed yet beautiful boyfriend through the glass outlet of the door and smiled to yourself. He looked so pretty, with his brown curls all messed up with some of them falling on his forehead while his hands were in his hair, pulling on some strands of hair out of frustration. You wanted to let all his frustration and pain go so bad.

Your heart was racing thinking upon how he would react on seeing you here. Would he be happy? Would he be sad? Most of all, would he be angry? You shook off the thought from your mind, gulped and opened the door.

At first he didn't notice you because he was too engrossed in his work. He was scribbling something down with his headphones on. You didn't intend to disturb him in the midst of this so you just went behind his back and stood there and waited until he was done.

You watched him like he was an artwork. The way his beautiful brown eyes were so focused upon the sheet of paper in front of him. You missed him. You missed his touch. You missed how those eyes holding so much love in them, used to look at you. You missed how he used to peck your lips and gave the lame excuse that he forgot the last time he kissed them.

You didn't know how long you've been standing there looking at him but it but it has been about 10 minutes. You saw Shawn putting down the pencil he had and take off his headphones.

So you took the chance to let him know of your unexpected presence and wrapped your arms around his neck lovingly. Taking in the smell of the shampoo he washed his hair with last night.

Shawn was taken aback. He wasn't expecting you to be there. Not when he was in the studio in the middle of the process of making music. His forehead turned into a frown and he somehow felt angry. Felt angry at your casual presence in his workplace even though you've been there before a multiple times.

He pushed your hands off of him and turned around to look at you. You were a bit shock at the sudden aggressiveness but decided to put up a smile anyway. You thought he must be shocked to see you. In a good way. But you were wrong.

"Surprise baby!" you said in a low tone and stepped forward to hug Shawn. Shawn was quick to step back. You were now confused at his reaction. Didn't know what he was upto. You searched his face and there it was. The eyes that once used to shine at your sudden presence were now dark. Angry. In rage. And disappointment. You somehow you started to get a bit scared of him.

Shawn shook his head and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He then grabbed your hand aggressively, with quite a tight grip and lead you out of the room.

Once you were out of the room, he left your hand and asked you through gritted teeth "What are you doing here?". You were in shock by his sudden change of behaviour. This was not the person you recognised to be your lover. "God dammit Y/N! I fucking asked you something. Answer me would you?!" he said with his voice a bit higher than before. You flinched at his words.

"I-I meant to give you a surprise visit babe. Brought food for y-you" you stammered.

"And who bloody told you do that? Huh? Don't you know that I'm in my studio making music. Still in the process Y/N!" Shawn spoke to you in dark and loud voice that you've never heard off. Brian, Andrew and some of the assistants came running through the hall to see what was all this chaos about.

"You think you can walk in here whenever you want don't you? Being my girlfriend gives you every privilege to do what you want huh Y/N? This is such a careless attitude of yours! You're not a fucking queen. Snap out of your dream!"

Tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you were now preventing yourself from crying in front of the staff.

"Shawn stop it. I'm sorry okay. I'll go. Just don't yell please. If I knew you'd get this bothered, I would've never walked in here. I-I just wanted to make you happy." you said in a voice barely above a whisper. You were now avoiding yourself to look Shawn in the eye.

"Hey hey! Calm down brother. She was just here to check on you and give you your foo-" Brian said but Shawn was quick to interrupt.

"Oh fuck off Brian! This is between Y/N & me. You stay out of this." Shawn spat.

You nodded to tell Brian it's okay.

"And you Y/N. Do you think you can help me like you always think you do? Being the perfect person that you are huh? You managing your company well doesn't mean that you can manage me too Y/N! For fuck's sake get over yourself! You can't make everything right okay. All by yourself. Let other people do there work without your bloody magic!" Shawn was literally throwing words at your face like knives.

Your heart was breaking more and more with every word that was coming out of his mouth. Tears now streaming down your cheeks.

Andrew placed a hand over Shawn's shoulder to calm him down but he pushed his hand off.

"Oh right! Good. Now you'll cry and start with your little drama Y/N! Won't you? You're so wonderful. You're so perfect. Nobody can tell me otherwise or else I will cry. But guess what? I fucking said it. You always have to make everything about yourself don't you Y/N? You make me sick Y/N. You're so fucking selfish and self-absorbed that I can't even tell you. You thought you would walk in here, give your poor boyfriend a surprise and get another chance to make yourself look good in front of others. You're a genius by the way. You ar-"

"STOP!!! Just stop it Shawn. Just fucking stop it. Enough Shawn enough. You said too much. You've gone too far."

You've really had enough of him. He was talking rubbish. It was like someone else has taken over his body. He seemed so strange to you. You felt like you've never known him. But with the words he was saying, he was pushing off the limits. You felt angry now.

"I can't even look at you right now. It makes me sick. What happened to you? Who do you think you are Shawn? I don't have a perfect life. And I'm not perfect. If anything I've been miserable since the past months but you are becoming too ignorant to see that. I'm sorry for coming and giving you a surprise which I thought would make you feel bett-"

"Ahh! Now you're gonna play the good person aren't you?"

You were totally taken aback. The way things were coming out of his mouth were unrecognisable. You were exhausted. And broken. You can't let yourself get hurt by his words anymore. He has said enough. He has went way too far. This was not at all how you were expecting things to turn out. Your eyes were red now from being sad and angry. You looked around you and saw the staff. Some were giving you sympathetic looks while some looked pleased. This was making you sick to your stomach. The person standing in front off you was not the love of your life. You began to feel dizzy. Before it can get any worse, you decided to walk out of the studio.

"Fuck you Shawn" you said in a dark tone, not that loud not that low and threw the packet away which you brought with yourself and started walking out. Shawn was still uttering words which you were too emotionally exhausted to listen to. Tears were nowhere seen to be stopping anytime soon.

You walked to your car, opened the car door and sat there for a while. You expected Shawn to come out after realising what he had done and hug you forcefully and apologize but there were none of it.

You were now fully crying inside your car. You felt so pathetic. How could he say such things to you when all you've always been is supportive of him and looking out for him because he was your everything. You cringed at thinking about the fact that how long have Shawn been thinking about you like this. What have you really done to deserve such cruel words? Or were you really that selfish?

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked like a mess. A crying wreck. You weren't sure of what do to now. You cried even harder when you felt like the words Shawn said began playing again in your head.

xx

Part 2 soon 💕 Let me know what you guys think about this xx MASTERLIST