#I'm just not totally sure what/what her situation is outside of her band

[void-botanist]

19, 20, 21, 22 for the polycule of your choice? :0

whoops we're doing it for two of them :3 and I'll include Heith too

19 - Summarize your character's goals in one sentence.

Marcus: be okay and go home, but also never have to tell Heith about all of his lies by omission

Heith: figure out if she's actually for real serious about Marcus (she thinks she might be actually for real serious about Marcus) and one way or another move out of her hotel room on Aephar

Yera: be a mom and try to make peace with the fact that Marcus is not here to be a part of the family

Hossan: be a dad and help Umedes figure themself out

Gren: see Marcus again and hopefully find out that there was no need to be jealous about his girlfriend, and make sure everyone's okay, especially the baby

Pali: prevent Kiatcarmen from finding Marcus (though that isn't a very active job), make sure the shifter coalition in the court doesn't budge, and get somewhere with her studies of shifter magic

Umedes: figure out whether they want to have a kid or not help

Kiatcarmen: find Marcus, because Minaya must not ascend, and do whatever else she can to preserve her accomplishments in the kingdom

Pirianus: broaden Kiatcarmen's vision beyond legacy, or, failing that, as he has for some 30+ years, get her to open up to him

Caladea: see Marcus again, and for his polycule's sake believe with all her heart the lies they tell Kiatcarmen

Thade: continue completing the political project du jour and end up in a happily ever after with Pirianus, which might also make him more welcome in the palace

Orvi: complete the one thing he was installed in the palace to accomplish

20 - Who's in the way of those goals?

Marcus: his mother. Always his mother. And honestly a little bit himself

Heith: herself, mostly. This is so not like her - well, specifically the part where she's still here when there have been plenty of times to go home

Yera: realistically, Kiatcarmen. But she still sometimes feels like she's lost some of her verve

Hossan: Umedes is the big challenge here. They're just so indecisive

Gren: Kiatcarmen, but sometimes it's easier to focus on the fact that Marcus has an interstellar girlfriend that none of them have ever met and that's so frustrating

Pali: herself. There aren't enough hours in the day for everything, and she has to sleep ugh

Umedes: themself, because they were the one who said this would be a great idea for when Marcus comes back. Who 100% believed Pali and Minaya and her ferasca spouses that this would go great. And who also took one look at Yera & Hossan's baby and thought that maybe they were signing up for more than they realized

Kiatcarmen: Marcus. Always Marcus. But she also blames Minaya and Yera and Pali for his disappearance, and she needs Pirianus to just shut up. This would have been so much easier with Jimmy

Pirianus: Kiatcarmen because he put his eggs all in one basket. But he mostly blames himself

Caladea: Kiatcarmen, but she tries to focus on what she can do better, and how she's getting in her own way

Thade: he's beginning to suspect he's been in his own way this entire time but it can't be understated how much Pirianus is constantly hot and cold

Orvi: it changes frequently, but always some contingent of the court

21 - What is your character's relationship with their emotions?

Marcus: he can't control his bad emotions, so he suppresses them. This has never caused any problems

Heith: she's just as cynical about her emotions as she is about everything else, but sometimes she just can't not feel something completely unironically

Yera: she's gonna feel them whatever they are so [grits teeth] negative emotions are part of the fullness of experience (she will be screaming into this pillow later)

Hossan: left to his own devices, he would feel his emotions, and then let them cast away upon the wind. Being with Yera and Gren has made him learn how to interrogate them more

Gren: he feels everything. A lot. He also conceptualizes things in terms of feelings a lot

Pali: she would like to believe she doesn't have them, but then she lays awake at night deconstructing them

Umedes: they tend to put intense feelings away for later, but don't ever get to later unless later comes for them first

Kiatcarmen: her emotions are so rich and nuanced and nobody understands that, so all of her emotions collapse into some flavor of annoyance

Pirianus: don't like that feeling? Repress it! This will never result in it returning in continually more warped and incomprehensible forms

Caladea: being in the palace seems to have stunted her emotions - they're flatter, duller, and way more anxious no matter what they are

Thade: don't like that feeling? Deflect it! The more mirrors there are between you and your emotions the less you will ever know what they are and the less you can ever be responsible for them

Orvi: he has a mental Tupperware for emotions that allows him to keep control of himself. He is the only person on this list who will actually open that Tupperware on purpose later

22 - What regrets do they have, if any? (From any part of the story, not just exposition.)

Marcus: missing out on eight years of his "real" life, and especially not being there when Gren's grandmother died. If only he'd been stronger, he could have stayed

Heith: before finding out about Marcus, that she's kind of a flake to her band, but they don't seem to mind that much. After finding out about Marcus, that she ever thought there was some kind of "magic" between them and maybe she could feel naïve about love for two seconds

Yera: she regretted drifting away from her father and sister, so she's fixing that now

Hossan: most of his regrets are from the now-distant past and don't make much sense - even he will say so - but he always finds himself regretting that he can't seem to do more for people

Gren: not going home even more before his grandmother died, even though he was practically splitting his time between his home city and the palace. He also regrets letting Marcus leave, even though he had to, and there was no other real choice

Pali: after getting married, she got more distant from her professor mentor, and the regret hit her hard when they died

Umedes: most immediately, thinking that having a kid was a good idea (they are beginning to think that this is a pregnancy kink that got out of hand). But more than anything they regret not going with Marcus, even though they couldn't

Kiatcarmen: Ashmalo was a liability, but she still regrets that he died (despite her image she does not think that assassination is the right way to deal with most problems, including Ashmalo). Conversely, she regrets that she couldn't save Jimmy, even though medical science itself could not have saved Jimmy. She also regrets letting Minaya slip out from under her thumb, because if she hadn't, she wouldn't be stuck looking for her runaway son

Pirianus: that he can't seem to permanently extract himself from Thade. If he stops and thinks about it (read: gets drunk and sad) he regrets spending so many years of his life trying to get through to a woman who would just as soon throw him to the dogs

Caladea: that she couldn't do more for Marcus or Minaya or Ashmalo, and that she still can't. And that being stuck in the palace has left her struggling to try and pick up the pieces of her creativity and her passion even though it should have given her unlimited resources to pursue them

Thade: things he's said to people. Most of them used to be seared in his brain because he thought they were funny, and eventually he figured out that oh, maybe they weren't. But some of them seemed bad from the moment they came out of his mouth (not before that, unfortunately, because he wasn't thinking about it) and he wishes he could take them back for real, especially the things he's said to Pirianus

Orvi: that he's still here. He had one thing to accomplish, and even though it was complex, it's taking SO. LONG. He knew that marrying into the royal family meant that he probably wasn't going to permanently go home again, but the longer this drags on the less he even wants to show his face there, and he wonders if it was worth it at all

[nolita-fairytale]

comfort & chaos (carmy berzatto x fem!reader) chapter one: october 2019

summary: the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you: carmy, the recently promoted chef du cuisine at the best restaurant in the world, has no idea what he's in for when he accidentally spills his drink on the recently hired patissiere. (prequel to make my heart surrender)

warnings: swearing, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language. eventual smut.

word count: 4.5k

listen to: dover beach part 2 - baby queen | alaska - maggie rogers | less than i do - the band camino | 2 / 14 - the band camino

a/n: i'm back back back again! this is six part series will be a snapshot of carmy x reader's relationship in nyc that span across a three year period. i'm really looking forward to writing their friendship & so much repressed sexual tension it's not even funny. this is the first story i've published without it being almost or fully written so updates will maybe be more sporadic this time.

October 2019 

“i was hoping somehow we'd end up together, outside, past midnight, and smoking cigarettes. the wallpaper inside my brain is decorated with your face. i'm lonely for you only, and i'm trying to convince you that i'm something you could love.” – dover beach (pt 2)

He hates you. 

You’re absolutely sure of it. 

You can see it in the way his body stiffens as you walk by – in the way he hasn’t stopped sending you long, piercing glares across the kitchen – in just how bright red his face turns when you catch him doing it. 

And for what? For being excellent? For being good enough to get a job after staging that one night?

Fuck that, you think to yourself.

You find Carmen Berzatto infuriating, and it begins to dawn on you that you may have had one too many gin cocktails to stomach the fact that you have to be here tonight. 

Here, at his promotion party. 

Here, at this stupid fucking bar that you hate. 

Here, because he’s sort of everyone’s boss now… and it’s something you’re just going to have to live with.

It hadn’t come as much of a surprise. There’d been talk of a leadership change (and Carmy filling the CDC position) when you had first started working here, but having a head’s up didn’t really help you now. You just hadn’t pictured having to go out for drinks to celebrate the man that seemed like he could barely stand being in the same room as you. But your friend Liz, one of the chef de parties at the restaurant, had insisted you come with, since she hadn’t wanted to go alone. You understood why you both had to go, so you’d invited your other best friend to help the both of you get through. 

You thank your lucky stars that your direct report is the head pastry chef and not Carmy. Using your boss as a buffer, you had used every excuse in the book to avoid interacting with him. 

Sure, he was brilliant. 

Sure, he was a wunderkind who had just gotten back from a three month stage at noma right before he was hired here.

Sure, he was kind of a total asshole. 

“Fuck that, man! C’mon. Just one shot. It’s your big night, motherfucker!” Nate calls out, practically shoving a shot into Carmy’s hand. 

“Oh, I- uh, I’m good, man,” Carmy stutters, trying to find an excuse not to take the shot. 

Truthfully, he hates shots… and he’s not much of a vodka drinker either. 

He’s just not in the mood to get hammered either, his thoughts consumed with tomorrow, his first day as chef du cuisine, going perfectly. 

You watch the uncomfortable interaction, almost feeling bad for the guy. Nate and the most recently promoted sous, Tim, are trying their best to corral Carmy into taking the shot as you walk by. You can see the uncomfortable look on Carmy’s face as he declines Nate’s offer for a second time. 

In fact, he seems like a different person tonight. He’s… boyishly awkward, almost, and you wonder if he’s maybe not so great in social situations. As you pass by, drink in hand, you hear a cacophony of sound. Carmy’s trying his best to dodge his friends’ next attempt, and before you know it, Nate’s practically pushing him towards Tim, sending Carmy backwards, tumbling right into you. 

You feel the wet liquid of your gin and tonic, along with the shot of vodka that’s flown out of Carmy’s hand spill all over your shirt. The shot glass shatters as it hits the floor, and the sobering feeling of ice cold liquid soaking through your shirt causes you to shriek. 

“Shit! What the fuck, Carmy!” you yell, angrily, as you push him off of you.

At this point, you could care less that he’s everyone’s new boss, and the drama of it all has caught the attention of almost all of the other restaurant staff that have come out tonight. Your friends rush towards you, searching for as many napkins as they can grab. 

“Fffffuck,” is all he says back and you can’t believe he’s yelling at you right now. You watch as his face changes quickly, from angry, to thoroughly shocked as he begins to stammer through an apology. 

“I-. I’m sorry I-. I didn’t mean to-.” 

He scrambles to help you, with one cocktail napkin as you push him away, your friends rushing to your side. 

“No! I don’t want your help,” you grit through a clenched jaw. 

“Shit, your shirt is ruined… C’mon,” Liz says, as she ushers you away shooting a glare in Carmy’s direction. 

“Damn, man. You could just ask her out,” you can hear Nate say, even though you’re too preoccupied with examining the damage of your totally soaked through t-shirt. 

So much for a chill evening. 

“Oh shut up, Nate,” Maya snaps at the sous. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” You nod, following her as she leads you away towards the bathroom. 

Back at the bar, Liz is trying her best to remedy the situation, trying her best to clean up the mess you left behind. She watches Carmy closely, trying to figure out whether she’s going to pay for this tomorrow. But instead of being angry, he just seems embarrassed… remorseful, even. There’s a small part of her that feels bad for the guy as it becomes clearer that he may just not be great in social situations.

As soon as you get to the single-room bathroom, you're swearing loudly and stripping off your shirt. It’s completely see through and you know you’re going to smell like a distillery until you can get home to shower. 

“I told you. He hates me,” you pout, examining your reflection in the mirror, a scowl glued to your face. You dap a few dry paper towels across your chest.

“I think it was just an accident, sweetie,” Maya says, sympathetically, as she tries her best to console you. 

“Yeah, I know,” you admit in defeat.

As much as you’d like to blame this on him, you know it wasn’t his fault. 

“Sorry I asked you to come tonight. If I knew it would be this much drama-,” you begin, before being promptly cut off. 

“Oh no, I’m all here for this drama,” she laughs, causing you to shake your head and lighten up a little about the situation.

As angry as you’d like to be with Carmy, you know that the truth of the matter is that he hadn’t meant to spill his drink all over you. You should be mad at Nate and Tim… but it just feels easier to be mad at Carmy considering. 

“Incoming!” you hear a voice say as Liz arrives. In her hands, she holds what looks like a white t-shirt, neatly folded up, that she hands to you. “Anyone in need of dry clothes?”

“Oh thank god,” you sigh with relief, glady taking it. 

“Good on you for having an extra,” Maya says. 

“Well, it’s a restaurant. You never know when you’re gonna need a change of clothes,” Liz shrugs, a glimmer in her eyes that Maya notices, as she says it. You find it a little strange that she seems to be watching you for a reaction, but you brush off the look she sends you, as you slide the dry t-shirt over your head.

The t-shirt isn’t much bigger than an oversized fit you’d buy for yourself – which makes sense because Liz is a bit taller than you. The cotton fabric hangs loosely over your form as your eyes flicker over to your completely soaked through shirt that lays crumpled up on the bathroom sink. 

“Well, ladies. We did our best,” you resign yourself, as you notice your still-very-wet bra begin soaking through the white t-shirt. 

“C’mon. Let’s see if we can get some more paper towels. Or uh.. See if the kitchen has a towel we can use,” Liz says, nodding her head towards the door. 

“We’ll be right back,” Maya reassures you, empathy in her eyes.

You watch as Liz follows her, leaving you alone in the bathroom. 

It doesn’t take long for the door to the bathroom to swing open again, which surprises you. You gasp as soon as you see who's come through the door, and you’re crossing your arms over your chest which may only make the wet bra, white t-shirt ordeal even worse. A very flustered Carmy stands in the doorway, his mouth hanging open as if he hadn’t expected you to be in here. 

“There’s uh… someone in here,” you scoff, unable to hide the irritation in the sound of your voice. You hug your arms closer to yourself, almost as if to cover yourself up. 

“No I-, yeah, I know I just-,” he stammers, his eyes shifting to the floor. He feels like he’s walked in on something he shouldn’t have, and he can feel all the blood rushing to his face, instantly regretting his decision not to knock first. 

“I actually, uh… I came to apologize,” he manages to get out, his words quiet. He says it as if there’s an unintentional question mark at the end of his sentence. You can see the way he runs his eyes back and forth, trailing over the fancy floor tile, searching for the right words. 

“I didn’t mean to- I just-. Sorry…”

His demeanor surprises you. At work, Carmy’s this confident, commandeering, talented chef, but tonight, he seems anything but.

Nervous. Shy. Like a fish out of water, even.

You take a breath, trying your best to relax.

You can feel some of your guard coming down as you begin to accept he really hadn’t meant to spill his drink on you. But you’re not eager to forget the fact that he’s been kind of an asshole to you since you started working here. Unsure of how to respond, you give literal effort to replying with a:

“It’s fine. Thanks.”

He knows you don’t mean it. 

In fact, he can hear how painful it is for you to get out those words. 

You wait for him to leave, but Carmy continues to stand in the bathroom with you, awkwardly. But he doesn’t say anything, so you figure that the least you can do is deflect a little with humor. 

“I’ll uh-, invoice you for the therapy session,” you say, trying to eliminate any malice in your tone so that he knows you’re joking. “Walking home in a wet shirt on the streets of NYC is gonna be… fun.”

“Oh uh…” he trails off, his face turning a darker shade of red. 

“I’m kidding,” you state, searching his face for any kind of expression. 

This man is impossible to read, you think to yourself.

His eyes are still glued to the floor as he begins to move, mumbling something you can’t quite hear in response to your failed joke. Carmy slides out of the denim jacket he’s wearing, before taking hold of it, extending an arm out to you. 

“Sorry um-. Here,” he says nervously, and it’s the first time he’s allowed his eyes to meet yours. “You can uh-. You can wear this. For your walk home.”

Well, that wasn’t what you were expecting. 

And had his eyes always been that blue?

Your face softens. 

You take the jacket hesitantly, holding it in your hands. This time you mean it when you say:

“Thanks.”

“Least I could do,” he shrugs, daring to meet your eyes with his again. 

You slip the jacket over your shoulders as the two of you stand a few feet apart. The air feels thick, and at this point, you’re not sure how to feel. Even though your bra has continued to soak through the white t-shirt, the way his denim jacket feels wrapped around your shoulders feels like an added layer of protection.

“After uh-. You know I-,” he stumbles through.

“Yeah. No I uh-. Thanks, again,” you repeat, cutting him off. 

Might as well put the poor guy out of his misery. 

“Anyways, I’ll make sure to get this back to you,” you interject, your voice much more reassuring this time. 

“Yeah,” he nods. 

You swear you can almost see the corner of his lips turn up, but you’ve never really seen him smile, so it’s not like you have much to compare it to. Carmy excuses himself, and you watch as he leaves, genuinely grateful for the peace offering. 

The way that Carmy’s jacket hangs heavily around your shoulders makes you wonder if it’s real denim. You notice that it smells like him too: a faint scent of cigarettes, Old Spice deodorant, whatever scented laundry detergent he uses that feels familiar. 

You and Carmy don’t speak again, save for a few short exchanges at work, but he’s been on your mind. Your interaction the other night had left an impression on you – albeit a strange one – and you’re not sure why you haven’t returned his jacket yet. 

It’s not till a few days later that you speak again, leaving another strange impression on you. You head into the walk-in to get a few quarts of heavy cream and as you pull the door open, you find a flustered Carmy standing there. He’s got his hands on his hips and eyes glued to the floor with an exasperated look on his face as he watches the plastic storage containers he’s just thrown clamor across the floor. You gasp, shocked by the loud sounds, and Carmy knows he’s not alone. 

As he turns to you with a glare on his face, you notice that Carmy’s eyes are puffy, his cheeks flushed red, and he looks sick as a dog. 

His eyes are wide with embarrassment for a moment, before returning to their normal, stoic focus, hardened by a less than positive interaction with the exec chef. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, uncomfortably. He gestures towards the storage containers on the floor, before running a hand through his neatly slicked back hair. 

“It’s uh, you’re good, chef,” you say, trying your best to put your wall of professionalism up. 

You had witnessed the demeaning encounter from the exec chef – everyone had. It had been impossible not to. He’d practically breathed down Carmy’s neck, taunting him for his lack of focus today, that he’s a little bitch for letting allergies get to him. 

To say that the man was emotionally abusive would be an understatement. 

You should leave – turn and go, and pretend that this never happened – that you’d seen nothing. But instead, you stay. 

“You good, chef?” you ask softly, a hint of concern in your voice.

He sniffles again, the searing headache that robs him of his focus only burning brighter after what just happened. 

“Yeah, no. I’m fine,” he snaps, refusing to look at you. 

You wait for him to say something more, only he doesn’t. You can see he’s not feeling well and that he must be feeling worse after his metaphorical public stoning in the town square. He’s not sure what the hell it is you’re waiting for, and he just needs another fucking second to himself. 

“Why are you still here?” he grits through teeth, his eyes fixed to the floor. 

You open your mouth to say something, but you’re honestly not sure why you’re still in the walk-in with him either. 

Maybe because you know that the exec chef is a total monster.

That he shouldn’t have talked to Carmy like that. 

That you can understand why he’d be upset. 

“Chef!” he says, raising his voice a little louder and flinging his hands towards the door. “Will you just-?”

You nod, a feeling of embarrassment filling your chest, as you realize he wants you to leave. You hurry out of the walk-in, closing the door behind you as you escape, your heavy cream quart containers in hand. 

“You good?” Liz asks, as soon as she sees you come out of the walk-in. She’s passing by to bring a few deli containers over to the dish station. 

“What?” you ask back in surprise, unaware that you look visibly shaken up.

“You look… flustered is all,” she points out. 

“Oh. Yeah. I just uh-, Carmy’s in there. Throwing a fit. He just uh… snapped at me is all. But what’s new?” you reply, trying your best to shake it off. 

She rolls her eyes in response, “Yeah, he can be like that. Thank your lucky stars that you don’t have to work under him.”

You let out an annoyed exhale. It’s a funny feeling – one that leaves you a little confused: one minute he’s this chivalrous guy that’s handing you his jacket to wear home and the next he’s practically tearing your head off to get out of the walk-in. You can’t quite figure him out. He’s so hot and cold, you’re not sure what to expect from him anymore. 

As you and Liz are about to part ways, you remember that you have to give her back her borrowed shirt. 

“Oh!” you say, calling her attention before she returns to her station. 

“I have your shirt, by the way,” you say. “From the other night.”

“Oh,” she says, her eyes lighting up. “Okay weird timing considering he’s being such an asshole today but uh…. Yeah. The shirt’s... not mine. I forgot to tell you.”

You send her a puzzled look as she shrugs. 

“I didn’t think you’d take it if I told you but… it’s Carmy’s. He pulled it out of his bag when he spilled the drink on you,” she informs, waiting to gauge your reaction.

“What do you mean?” you ask. 

“You were so mad at him that I just figured-, it doesn't matter. He pulled it out of his bag to give to you. I think he felt really fucking bad, babe,” she interjects, revealing the truth. 

Well now you’re really fucking confused. 

And after your little interaction with him in the walk-in, there’s no way you’re going to bring it up to him today. 

“Oh. Yeah um, got it,” you reply, feeling even more confused than when you started the day. 

You show up to work the next day with the t-shirt and his jacket tucked into a canvas tote bag you plan on giving to Carmy. You’d decided to wait till you had them both, and you’re also hoping that he’s in a better mood today. 

Only, Carmy’s not here today. 

“Yeah, he’s out sick. Looks like those allergies turned out to be a nasty head cold,” your general manager had informed you when you’d asked about where Carmy was. “Looks like Tim’s filling in today for him.”

“Got it. Thanks, Kate” you��d replied. 

Later on your mid-shift break, you’d then mustered up all the courage possible to ask if anyone had checked in on Carmy. Kate, your GM, had answered no, and had been more than happy to give you his address so that you could do so. You’re not sure why you feel like it’s the right thing to do, but between his act of kindness at the bar, and his outburst in the walk-in yesterday, you figure it wouldn’t hurt to show him a little kindness. Not that you feel like you owe him or anything. 

Maybe you just want to give him his clothes back and be done with it. 

Maybe you’re also deeply confused about who the hell Carmen Berzatto really is. 

Maybe the mystery of it intrigues you a little more than you’d like to admit.

Dinner service flies by quickly – a string of non-stop orders helps the time go faster. Carmy’s apartment is on your way home, so it’s a no-brainer to make the trip. You stop on your way at a deli nearby, picking up a quart of matzo ball soup, before heading over to his apartment. 

When you get there, you knock on the door three times, anxiety beginning to flood you.

What if he thinks this is totally creepy – that you just got his address from the general manager? What if he thinks you’re stalking him? What if he hates the fact that you’re even there in the first place? 

You wonder if you should just leave the soup at the door and run as fast as you can so that, by the time he answers the door, you’re gone. 

Just as you’re bending down to place the quart container down by his door, the door swings open to reveal a very congested Carmy. His curls seem wilder than normal as he looks genuinely surprised to see you crouching in the hall of his apartment. 

“Hi!” you practically shout, taken off guard as you rise to your feet. 

“Yo,” he says, blinking a few times to make sure he’s not dreaming. “What’s uh-, what’s going on?”

It’s weird – seeing Carmy outside of the restaurant, outside of his chef whites. His usually slicked back, out-of-his-face hair falls in the messiest most unruly curls around his face in a way that's surprisingly unkempt. He’s… almost human-like. 

“This is for you,” is all you manage to say, handing him the quart container. 

“Uh… thanks,” he trails off, taking it and checking out the matzo ball soup. 

You’re not sure where to begin, how to explain why the hell you’re here, so you just start talking. 

“I uh… your place was on the way home,” you begin. “I hope it’s okay but I got your address from Kate. I actually used to go to this deli all the time when I was a kid with my parents and I forgot that it was in your neighborhood so I just figured that I should pick something up on the way over since I heard you were sick and uh-.”

Carmy shoots you a look and he almost looks amused. 

“... I’m rambling, aren’t I?” you ask, a light blush running across your cheeks. 

“Yeah,” he nods, a dry laugh following.

You wait a beat, collecting yourself. You’re not sure why this is so weird, but it’s so weird. 

“I came by because…” you start, digging through your canvas tote bag that’s draped across your right shoulder. “... I wanted to return these to you.” 

You hold out the jacket and t-shirt folded up together to Carmy, his eyes following them. 

“Liz told me that the shirt was yours too. I just-, I know we don’t always… that you don’t-, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I know it’s kind of weird at work sometimes but… I guess  I just wanted to say thank you. For these. Hence the soup,” you finally explain.

“No problem,” Carmy nods, taking them in his empty hand, before disappearing momentarily to place them somewhere inside of his apartment.  

You’re only a little disappointed by his short response, yet you’re not sure you expected anything else. He returns only seconds later.

“It’s uh-, Cool jacket,” you say. You can’t tell whether you’re making small talk or just saying something out of discomfort, but it seems to pique Carmy’s interest. 

“It actually reminds me of the denim jacket that John Lennon used to wear ”

“You know denim?” he asks, and you could swear that you see his eyes light up for a moment. 

“No, but I know music,” you reply. 

“Uh I mean. Yeah. It is…” he says, with a nod, a hint of excitement in the words that follow. “Not the actual one he wore but… it’s a 1950s selvedge Wrangler. Just like Lennon.”

So he wasn’t just a fine-dining robot. 

“Wow I didn’t know you were into all that,” you say, feeling some of the tension between the two of you melt. “Denim, I mean.”

“Something I picked up from my brother, I guess,” he shrugs, shyly. 

“That’s funny,” you chuckle. 

“Hm?” he hums in response. 

“Just… the thought of you having a brother,” you clarify, jokingly. “Thought you were like… grown in a lab at noma or something.”

And Carmy almost smiles, you think.

“Nope. Just Chicago,” he replies, enjoying the act of sharing something with you. 

“Ahhh,” you sound, following it up with another small laugh. “Well, I’ll let you get some rest. Enjoy the soup.”

“Yeah, uh. Thanks for this,” he says, holding up the brown bag. 

“Of course,” you reply, turning to go. 

But you don’t go yet, not ready to let go of the momentary connection you’ve built with Carmy 

"You know it doesn’t have to be like this,” you say, turning back to him. He's staring at you, just like he does in the kitchen. It’s another long, languid look that makes you realize that maybe they haven’t been hate-glares after all.

“We don't have to do this... start over every time we see each other.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agree with a nod. “I mean, I've already worn your clothes so… it’s a rather… intimate thing for us to just be strangers….”

He listens attentively. 

"We could… coworkers… friends, even,” you suggest, hesitantly.

“Me and you?” he asks, a puzzled look on his face. You’re not sure if he’s surprised by what you’ve said, or if he’s about to laugh in your face. 

“If you want,” you nod in response. 

He waits a beat, and you watch his facial expressions soften a little as he finally says, “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

You smile at him, the man you thought hated you, wants to be friends with you. You get a wicked idea, letting out a chuckle before continuing. 

“Great. There’s just one thing,” you begin playfully.

You can’t help yourself.

“Hm?” he hums. 

“It’s just… I haven’t made my mind up about you. So you should consider this your trial period, buddy,” you tease. 

He lets out a dry laugh, “Like a stage?”

Of course it’s all kitchen-related for him.

You laugh in response, “Yeah, like a stage.”

“Heard, chef.”

“Goodnight, Carmy.”

Carmy’s never had someone joke with him so sweetly. Between his family and, well, Richie… it’s always been callous humor and insults thrown back and forth lovingly. This feels… different: lighter.

As he watches you walk away, he looks down at the deli quart container that he holds in his hand. He’s never had anyone take care of him before – not like this – someone who wasn’t Sugar or Mikey, and certainly not his Mom. Not like this. Not without asking for anything in return. He can’t seem to identify the warm feeling that rushes through him, and wonders, for a moment, if this is what it feels like to fall in love. 

Not that he’s ever experienced that either.

By Saturday, he’s back to work and feeling much better (the soup definitely helps, he decides) but it’s not for another week that he musters up the courage to ask you what you’re doing between lunch and dinner service. 

“Chef!” he calls out to you as you’re cleaning up your station.

“Yeah, what’s up?” you reply. 

It’s not like you’ve been all buddy-buddy and friendly over the last week, but you’ve at least stopped thinking that he hates you. Sure you’ve decided to be friends, but it’s not like you’d expected wildly different behavior. 

“You uh… wanna grab a cup of coffee? On the break, I mean,” he asks, his blue eyes seeming… more brilliant than you’ve ever noticed. 

“I owe you one. You know. For the soup.”

You smile, “Yeah. I’d uh-, I’d like that.”

“Yeah?” he asks. 

“Yeah.”

read: chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos

[alterrune]

Albert: Well done on getting Lily, but it seems that her Shadow is ensuring you go through the same test you were intended to do last time, because every floor on this hospital had shifted into a distorted disjointed maze with its halls rotating. The doors to the staircases are all now randomly placed across each floor, and each one only leads one floor, this may take some time, especially with all the traps and the glitching doors.

Again, do not interact with glitching and distorted doors nor following the sound of a distorted music box, those will deceive you and can send you back on a random floor you were previously on. You’ll have to reach the reception room, that’s where Shadow Lily is located in.

And one more thing… if you ever see a projecting a memory you’ve had, whether it’s a good one or a bad one, do not attempt to interact with nor go near it, you will be sent to a random floor if that happens.

Oh, and one more thing, I found a file in Shadow Lily’s Hospital I managed to decrypt, but I don’t fully understand it, but it seems directed to Laurence and Lily, it’s says:

Mother is coming home soon.

I don’t know if this is a premonition or not, but I am sure Shadow Laurence said that same thing, either way, we’ll worry about the situation at hand. Get moving.

Hey, I thought you said if we went through the door, we'd die.

OH YOU WILL. BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP THAT EASILY.

Son of a bitch! Just give up already!

(Shadow Lily simply shakes her head "no", then vanishes. I'm very much taken aback by having to do this again regardless.)

Alright, fine. Look for the sound of a music box. Goddamnit, I have no idea what constitutes as a "music box", I've never heard a song from one before!!!

(Suddenly, as if on cue, I hear a familiar song coming from one of the doors, and only one of the doors. It's a song I KNOW, too. It's a music box rendition of No Quarters!)

"hey guys. so, uh...seems like you're having trouble trying to find the right way forward. maybe playing some of my music will help."

HARMONY?! What the heck are you doing here?!

"well actually i'm not here. i just read this albert guy's messages and thought i'd help you with this whole maze thing by giving you some outside help to find your way back. just follow the sound of my band's music and you should be fine."

Ditto, Teddie. Let's follow Harmony's musical guidance!

(With the help of Harmony's music box, we manage to get right back down to the reception room in record time.)

Alright, Harmony! We made it.

Yeah, thanks to you coming in clutch with that music box.

We're in your debt, Miss Paruko. You really helped us out there.

We probably would've been running in circles if you hadn't shown up.

"alright, i think i'm gonna split before that shadow lily lady comes back."

"oh, and by the way, henry. it's just 'paruko'. that's the other name i go by, it's not my last name. see ya."

(The music box stops, as Harmony disconnects. Just as she does, Shadow Lily appears in front of us!)

YOU STILL INSIST ON CHEATING?!

Hey, fuckface! This time we didn't cheat. We went through your big-ass gauntlet, fair and square.

Yeah. You never said anything about outside help. According to your rules, what we did was totally legitimate.

Yeah, we didn't cheat this time. Get loopholed, bitch.

(Shadow Lily looks at all of us, then scoffs, knowing that we actually did do them legitimately. She knows she never said anything against outside help as she didn't think that would ever be an issue. Regardless, all of us are right in front of her, so Shadow Lily will make do with this.)

FINE. BUT YOU STILL HAVE ONE LAST ENEMY TO FACE. ME.

YOU WILL BE.

Kyle, we still ready?

Yep. For real this time...

Time to make history.

[hareofhrair]

#to prev tags#how do u explain the millions of women who are sexually abused if the world of sexual menace is fabricated?#what about the 1-in-5 statistic for college students?#rape culture?#sure the likliehood of you getting jumped by random strangers is slim to none as the stats show#but there is a reason to be vigilant. especially for femmes#nonsequitor i had a customer once tell me to be aware of my surroundings always at 7am on a fucling tuesday because she was worried id#be attacked working at the fucking home goods store#like maam. if i am attacked at work. i get workers comp. they will give me money for it.#i am half asleep and it is far too early for this.#anyways.

Oh the abuse absolutely happens! That's not the fabricated part, sorry for the confusion. The fabricated part is that women are routinely sexually assaulted by total strangers, jumped in the street or in parking lots. That sex trafficking rings are huge and common and target middle class white women and children and snatch people from their homes. That pedophiles are everywhere actively scheming and collaborating for better access to children. I'm talking about the conspiracy thought that surrounds the concept of sexual violence and enshrines as a simple fact of reality that there are roving bands of sexual predators actively stalking you at all times, and that the only safety from these predators is to cling to traditional patriarchal structures while being constantly suspicious of your neighbors, your community, and anyone classed as an outsider.

The reality of sexual violence is that in the vast majority of cases, both in adult sexual assaults and in abuse of minors, the perpetrator is someone in the victim's immediate social circle. Family or close acquaintances. The overwhelming majority of children kidnapped are taken by one of their own parents, usually as part of a custody disagreement. While human trafficking is real and sex trafficking is real, it is far less organized than conspiracy suggests, and the most common targets are people without communities. Recent immigrants (especially those that don't speak english) and runaways are the most common victims, and there's a good chance forced labor is far more common than sex trafficking, but sex trafficking is more commonly reported and forced labor is harder to detect and prosecute. Genuine pedophilia is *incredibly* rare, and the majority of people who sexually abuse children have no established sexual interest in children, any more than rapists have established interest in noncon. Sexual abuse is primarily about power and opportunity- It happens not because some people are just born with a desire to rape, but because people raised with abusive beliefs are put in situations where they have power and control over someone else and know they won't be held accountable for their actions.

The world of sexual menace is a fabrication. It divides us from our communities, keeps us isolated, and makes us easier to abuse by the people we're actually at risk from. If the woman in the video above is ever hurt by her husband, what are the chances her neighbors will notice, offer her shelter and support? If she has to flee her house in the night, is there anyone in her community who will take her in? She is cut off from everyone close enough to help her if her husband decides to kill her.

Strong community connections are the best, perhaps the only effective defense against sexual assault and abuse. If you're genuinely afraid of being attacked, your best protection is to make sure the people you pass every day know you and are looking out for you. Build yourself the widest safety net possible. So if someone's following you on the street, you know the baristas in the coffee shop will look out for you. You know your elderly neighbor is at her window keeping an eye on you. You know your friends down the road will come pick you up if you call. If your boyfriend is mistreating you, you know your next door neighbors will come over to check on you if they hear shouting. You know your friend a few houses up will let you in if you have to run out of the house barefoot in the middle of the night without your cell phone. You know there are people all over who will help you and protect you and that they vastly out number whoever is trying to hurt you. You're not alone.

One neighbor nearby who knows your name and will help you if you're in trouble is a thousand times more valuable than a dozen fancy door locks.

[lianahayze]

Shadow and the Midnight Misery: Chapter 5

Hi y'all! Not much to say, so let's get started! Chapter 4 is here if you need to catch up. Enjoy!

Chapter 5: The Notebook

"It's actually not as bad as it looks."

My eyes stare down at the food in the bowl in front of me. It looks like oatmeal... but not. It doesn’t have any texture, and I doubt it has any taste. I haven't touched the spoon and I'm damn well not about to touch the food. It's probably just protein bullshit, anyway.

"I like to put chocolate in mine."

I look up at the girl sitting across from me. Red hair high in a bun and cheeks colored with blush, she looks like she's barely out of high school. She offers me a smile.

"Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Tally."

"Shadow."

"Nice to meet you, Shadow. You haven't been here long, have you?" Is it that obvious? "Well, I think it's great. The situation sucks, but what are you gonna do, ya know?"

Why is she talking to me? For someone who's locked up, she entirely too happy, especially this early in the morning.

Last night I’d slept terribly. Like I'd predicted, the mattress had been super uncomfortable. No matter what position I’d been in, I'd been unable to fall asleep. Around two in the morning, I'd just given up and worked on some lyrics. I haven't looked them over yet, but it had been the only way to pass the time.

"My mom and step-dad picked this place out. I thought for a really long time that they were just trying to get rid of me, and it's taken me some time, but I think I'm finally starting to see that's not true at all." She giggles. "Anyway, I'm trying to be more positive these days."

I give her a hard look. I wonder what she's here for. Maybe she's simply crazy? Nah, that's not it. Garver specializes in dependency issues. But she just doesn't look like she's ever been on anything. She looks too young.

"Actually, I miss them. I'll get to see them soon, though."

This is so much to process. I hadn't struck up a conversation with her; I'd intentionally chosen a seat away from everyone. Yet, it's as if she'd picked me out of the crowd, determined to make me her friend.

For the next few minutes, she sits there quietly eating her breakfast. She doesn't say anything else, acting like it's totally normal for her to be sitting there, like we've known each other for years. After swallowing her last bite, she grabs her bowl and stands.

She looks down at my food, still untouched. "Anyway, you should give that a go." She smiles. "Have a good day!"

She walks off. I watch her go for a moment before calling, "Hey! Why are you being nice to me?"

She turns back to me. The smile on her face is still there, but it's smaller. She shrugs. "I dunno. You were sitting alone. You shouldn't have to be alone, especially here." She waves. "Bye."

With that, she drops off her bowl and heads out of the room.

The whole experience was surreal. Outside of the band, I don't really have friends. Well, besides Dean, that is. But our history is weird, and we mostly bond over music, drugs, and a botched attempted relationship. Standing in front of hundreds of fans? Sure, easy. Interviews? No problem. Anything that has to do with my music, I'm great at talking about it, but talking to people just for the sake of talking to them? Not exactly my forte.

I'm so confused that, later in the day, when it's time for me to meet with Dr. Norris, I'm still thinking about it. I check in with one of the members of staff to let them know that I'm still accounted for then head over to her office. I try not to think about yesterday, about collapsing in the hall. No one saw me, but I'm a little paranoid, wondering if it had been caught on camera.

I look up towards the ceiling. I don't see any cameras, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. Cameras inside the building would completely eliminate anonymity and privacy, but recording everything could help guarantee patient safety.

I sigh. Oh well. Either way, I'm about to find out.

I knock on the door and wait. As I'm standing there, my stomach growls. With cocaine, I can usually suppress my hunger but, because I haven’t been able to do that within the last day, I'm suddenly acutely aware of how long it's been since I've had a real meal. Maybe I should have taken Tally's advice and tried that disgusting looking breakfast.

The door opens and I'm greeting by Dr. Norris's smiling face.

"Hi, Shadow," she says, stepping out of the way and allowing me to come in. "How are you this morning?"

I shrug as she closes the door. After we both sit down, I say, "Same as always."

"And what does ‘same as always’ look like?"

I roll my eyes. I know she's just doing her job, but it makes me feel like I’m a puzzle, one she’s trying to put together. "I'm awake. It's morning. I would rather be asleep."

"Are you a night owl, then?"

That's probably not the most accurate way to describe it, but I'll go with it. Most of the time I just stay up until I collapse somewhere, but it's probably not smart to tell her that. "Sure."

"So. How have your first twenty-four hours here been?"

I stare off into the distance, recalling the trashed bathroom. I'd have to drop sixty bucks just to replace that foundation. Just thinking about it makes me sigh.

"What's the matter?"

I shrug. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Like, I just don't get it. I don't need to be here, and everyone forced me to come here because they think I'm messing up The Midnight Misery —my band—but we won't get anything done with me in here."

"In my experience, therapy rarely comes at a good time for people."

It's not just that, though. "I thought I had a choice, but they really forced my hand." Mentally replaying yesterday over and over, all I can do is lean back and shake my head. Though I’m cold, I also feel restricted. I push up the sleeves to my black sweater.

"You're--"

"Lucky, I know." I just don’t feel lucky. "I get it. I just..." It's starting to become a habit, my words failing me. "Anyway, what are we talking about today? I need to get out of here ASAP."

"Why?"

What did she mean, "Why?" Certainly, I'm not the first person she'd treated who doesn't want to be in here?

"I have stuff to do."

"Shadow, all of that stuff will be there when you get out. Your friends, your family, your music. None of it's going anywhere. I’m going to ask you a couple of questions and learn a little bit more about your addiction. Is that okay?"

I start to tell her that I didn't have an addiction, but the look on her face quiets me. I nod.

"How long would you say you've been using?"

"Uh, since I was sixteen? Seventeen?" I pause to think about it. I probably first drank when I was fifteen and started doing it regularly when I was sixteen. The weed probably started about the same time. Cocaine was most likely when I was nineteen?

At this point, it's all a blur.

"Do you recall why you started in the first place?"

"Just being a teenager. My dad's had his own bourbon brand for years, so I grew up around that." For some reason, I feel the need to add, "Not that he ever tried to encourage me." I tried to laugh. "He just, uh, never tried to stop me."

She makes a couple of notes. "What’s your relationship like with your father?"

I smile, and for the first time since I’ve been here, I actually feel a slight tinge of happiness. "It's great. He supports my music career; everyone in the band is obsessed with him. He tries to give me pointer every once in a while, but most of the time I ignore him. Wanna make my own way, ya know? But when we were looking for a label, he basically handled everything. Well, his legal team did. Huge God Send. And them when we needed a--"

Suddenly I stop. My mind has wandered further back than I'd like, digging up old memories that are better kept locked away. I clear my throat, looking down at my hands.

"Well. As much as hate to admit it, I guess he's responsible for my entire career."

"I'm sure you've worked very hard to get yourself where you are today, Shadow. What parent doesn't help their child out? However, I wasn't referring to your music career." I look up at back her, my head tilted slightly to the side. "How is he as a father? How are you as a daughter?"

"He's fine—not strict. He lets me do what I want."

"Your mom?" She's typing as she speaks.

"She lives in Oklahoma. I see her maybe once or twice a year." It’s been that way since I was little, and, to be honest, it doesn't bother me one bit.

"So, you spend most of your time with your band?"

I nod. "Yeah, I mean I'm either in the studio or on the road with them, so were pretty close--very close, actually." At least, we were.

"Do you think everything will be okay between all of you after this?"

I shrug. "I dunno." She asks me to elaborate. "I just don't feel like I can trust them, to be honest."

"That's valid."

I'm surprised she says that. "It’s okay?"

"Of course. You're unhappy now, aren't you?" My eyes are wide as I nod. "Maybe angry?" Again, I nod. "And I'm assuming you're also very jittery and anxious and unsure what to do?"

It's as if she's reading my mind. "But what am I supposed to do?" I ask.

Looking me over. She leans back. The wheels on her chair scrap sharply against the floor. It an uncomfortable noise, one that grinds me the wrong way.

"I think you need long-term therapy, Shadow."

She's made that judgement just by meeting with me a couple of times? My heart fills with dread. "Does that mean I have to stay here?" It's barely been over twenty-four hours and I feel like I'm already going insane.

"I think we can decide that tomorrow." It's not the answer I want, but I keep my mouth shut. "But, regardless, talk therapy is good for everyone."

"I don't have problems, though," I insist.

"Maybe you don't think that you do, but everyone has problems. Some are just more extreme than others. That's why talk therapy is good for everyone, not just a select few."

Yeah, whatever.

"But what do you think you should do?" she asks.

I frown. What do I think I should do? I think I should be allowed to leave, but I highly doubt she’ll agree with that. I also think I should be allowed to light up a joint, but, again, that's not exactly part of the program. When I finally do speak, it comes out more sarcastic that I intend.

"If I was allowed to do what I want, I wouldn't be here."

"Understandable." She pauses. "I tell you what." Wheeling her chair back (and causing it to make that God-awful noise again), she stands. She walks over to the cabinet against the wall. She turns the key that's already in the lock and opens the top drawer. She pulls something out then sits back down. As she puts it on the table in front of me, I lean forward to look at it.

It's a notebook. It doesn't have spirals like the one I typically use, and it looks a little heavier, but it has a nice design on the front: some gold embossing.

I scoot it back towards her. "I already have a notebook." I'm not exactly looking for a new one, either. I like keeping all my lyrics in one place, and it's annoying when I finish one notebook and have to start a new one.

"Consider this a fresh start." She scoots it back to me, and I have to balance it against my fingertips to prevent it from falling. "It's good that you're already writing down your thoughts, but the less baggage you have to carry, the better your recovery will be."

Recovery, similarly, to the word "addiction," leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I have to resist the urge to wince.

"What, you want me to write and share it with you?"

"Oh no. I'd never assume to intrude into your personal thoughts. It's just that... Sometimes, it's easier for people to verbalize things when they write them down first. Pretend it’s a practice run."

"I thought the whole point of a diary was so that you didn't have to share anything with anyone."

"Some people use them for that, too. Overall, they're great for clarity."

"What am I supposed to write about?"

"It’s not a school assignment, Shadow,” she says, “write about what you want."

"And then...?"

"And then that's it. There's nothing else you have to do."

Though she says it's not an assignment, it feels like one. I exhale and shrug. "Yeah, fine. I guess I can do that." It makes me nervous, though. Why am I afraid that everything I write might be used against me?

"If you don't know where to start, pretend as if you're writing your life story." I must have given her a puzzled expression, for she says, "You don't have to write about a specific day. You can just write about your life in general. And for someone who's in a band and writes music, I can't imagine that too difficult."

It's not; I just don't see the point.

Still, I'm willing to agree to whatever she wants me to do if it's gets me out of here.

"Yeah, I'll give it a go."

She smiles. "Excellent. But in order for this to work, you need to set aside time every day. Make a habit; not just when you feel like it. Maybe when you first get up in the morning or right before you go to bed."

My usual morning routine generally involves a nicely rolled joint, so I guess I'll save the diary nonsense for the evening.

"You can try it for a while, and, as we continue to work together, maybe we'll find something else that's better suited for you. Can you try something for me, though?" I nod. "Whenever you choose to do, I also want you to consider your withdrawal. What symptoms are you noticing? Is it better or worse than the day before? Rate it out of ten, with ten being the most difficult to process."

"And that's what I share with you?"

She shakes her head. "You don't share anything with me that you write down. This is for you, Shadow. Not me."

The rest of the session goes by quickly. She asks me a couple of questions. I answer them the best I can, but it feels like I'm beginning to sound repetitive. By the time we finish up, I wonder: has she been asking me the same questions over and over this entire time, or is it just impossible for me to answer without saying the same thing over again?

Either way, it’s tiring.

As I walk back to my room, I clutch the notebook under my arm. I'm going to try—I really am—but I don't see it lasting beyond a couple of days. Writing lyrics is easy, but writing about my emotions and how I feel and how I just desperately want a bump?

Who knows how that’s going to go?

-

A/N: Thoughts? What do you think will happen next? Let me know what you think here. Chapter 6 will be out on Tuesday. Hope your weekend is off to a great start; talk soon!

-Liana

[steddie-thirst]

Sweet Like Candy | Gareth Emerson x Fem!Reader |

Warnings: cursing, super fluff, Eddie playing matchmaker, so cute you might get cavities.

Summary: You find yourself sitting down at the Hellfire table, a certain member catches your eye and youre hooked. Eddie taking notice of this invites you to one of their band sessions in hopes you'll be able to admire your feelings to a certain drummer.

Lunch was always an unusual experience for Hawkins High students due to the antics of one, Eddie Munson. You found him entertaining which led you to your current situation, asking for the empty seat next to their leader. "So do you guys mind? I kind of don't have anywhere to sit."

"And you chose our table?" Eddie asked interlocking his fingers elbows propped up on the table.

"Yeah. I'm a writer... I kind of think it's cool what you guys do." You admit shamefully. Eddie purses his lips, but extends the invitation with a wave of his hand.

"Sit."

"Thank you." As you sit down next to the dark hair guitarist you looked across the way to find another member of the club you know to well, Gareth Emerson. Having several classes with the with him, he recognized you immediately.

"Y/N?" He seems shocked, but it fades into something pleasant. Gareth was happy you joined.

"Hi, Gareth. I hope you don't mind the intrusion." He chuckles and sends you a smile.

"No, don't mind at all." You smile back at him. From this little interaction alone Eddie could tell that you had formed something close to a crush. Maybe even more than that.

"Y/N?" Eddie gains your attention much to Gareth's dismay and you turned to him.

"Yes, Eddie?"

"Did you know we have our own band? That every Tuesday, that being today, we practice at Gareth's. He's an amazing drummer." You shake your head.

"No I didn't." You reply going back to poking at your fruit.

"Well, I'd be more than happy to see you join us. Maybe some outside input would be great for the band and after maybe we could all grab some milkshakes from that diner off Maple and third." Eddie suggested. You look at him and then to the other members of the table, it was their band, you did not want to intrude in any way.

"I'd love to." Gareth's heart dropped. He knew Eddie had invited you to get to him, but he couldn't let you in on how he felt. God, the boy was blind to your love due to his own hopes. However being a 'freak' didn't help his situation. Eddie seemed pleased with the answer.

“I’ll drive you after school.” Eddie offered and you smiled going back to your food, just as the lunch-bell rang signaling that lunch time had ended. On the way to class Gareth pulled Eddie into an empty classroom.

“What the hell man?!” He shouted quietly towards Eddie shoving him back by the shoulders.

“Gareth, relax. I know about your hopeless little crush. I’m just trying to help.” He defended hands held up in defense. Gareth was fuming. Not only did he sort of out him at lunch he had invited you over which meant he had to admit his feelings something he wasn’t ready for.

“Eddie I’m not ready to tell her how I feel, man!” He argued running his fingers through his hair out of nerves. Pacing back and forth. Eddie felt a little bad, but he really just wanted to help. He knew how he’d feel if he liked a girl, he’d want some help. “God, a girl like Y/N is way to kind and sweet to even consider looking at me. I mean she smiles and I just freeze.”

“Gareth, dude. Just relax, I’m totally sure she’s into you.” Eddie defended.

“How do you know?” Gareth snapped turning to him and Eddie opens his mouth, “Don’t feed me some bullshit about being able to tell either. How do you really know.” The metal head huffs lowering his hands.

“Listen, Gareth. That girl admires you dude. The way she smiles at you when you call her name or when she talks you listen and when you talk she listens.” Gareth was shocked, but he did happen to notice that. Shit.

“Holy shit! My crush likes me back!” He cheered and then he frowned. “I-I have to get her flowers or something.” Eddie chuckled.

“You take my van. I’ll cover for you in History.” Gareth watched as Eddie handed him the keys and he rushed off. Eddie smiled totally proud of himself and slowly made his way to class. After school let out you let Eddie in the parking lot.

“Alas, your chariot awaits!” He declared. You snickered but willingly climbed into the passenger side of Eddie’s van. As he drove some sort of metal music played softly in the background.

“Eddie?” You inquire gently and he nods.

“Yeah?” He looks over at you and then back to road. He wanted you to know that he was listening despite being focused on the road.

“I… I’m nervous.” You admitted.

“Nervous?” He shakes his head not believing it. But goes along, “Nervous for what?”

“Gareth.” He laughs, but not in a joking way, more of ‘ha I knew it’ to which you were even more embarrassed. Had Eddie picked up on your crush? His next words made that painfully clear.

“I knew you liked him. Gareth, is the perfect guy for you.” You hum on approval.

“He’s sweet. Like really sweet despite being a freak.” You laugh at Eddie’s comment. “Guy is probably sweeter than candy.”

You couldn’t help the blush that spread against your cheeks. Shifting in your seat nervously as the house came into view. “Guess, I can’t back down now.”

“Nope.” Eddie replies with a large grin spreading across his face as he cut the engine. Both of you climb out and head towards the already set-up garage. When you set foot in the garage Gareth walked through the back door with a beautiful bouquet in his hands. All of your favorite flowers were arranged into a heart shape and when he approached you. He smiled handing the flowers to you.

“I got these for you, Y/N. I know they’re your favorites.” Eddie leans against the wall arms crossed as he watched the scene before him. You willingly take the bouquet and inhale the floral scent with a content sigh.

“They’re wonderful, Gareth. Thank You.” You lean over and peck the drummer on the cheek leaving him frozen in place. You had kissed him. Before he could process anything his hands went to your cheeks and pulled you back to him. “Y-You missed.” He stammered quietly pulling you to his lips and you melted into him.

“My work here is done.” Eddie said with a dopey love-struck grin on his face as he walks off to grab his guitar.

[filthforfriends]

who: Ethan + platonic rest of band what: fluff when: day time where: apartment why: Reader has hair like Ethan but straightens it, and one time they find her at home with rlly curly hair (think Brian May) and it's fluffy

"I'm sure she won't mind!"

"Impromptu dinners are fun, it'll be great!" You hear the voices of Damiano and Victoria outside your door, apparently accompanying your boyfriend home. This happened every so often: one of them would buy some nice wine and Damiano would find something of exceptional quality at the farmers market, so he'd want to cook. They'd think hey, let's just make it a party. Why Ethan was designated as the host however was a total mystery.

He was an introvert with a calming presence. The band usually knew better than to trample over his peace and quiet, but this was an exception. Unfortunately, this surprise was also on your day off. You'd given your hair and skin a break from product, which drastically changed your appearance. Ethan could be heard attempting to reason with them in hushed tones, Thomas' voice boisterous and oblivious.

You searched for a hair tie or something in your near vicinity, but nothing less than 40 minutes of skilled work could tame your mane. It was pointless to try so you braced for impact. When the lock clicked, you turned away to be spared of the immediate reaction. Of course dramatic Damiano audibly gasped. Thomas realized why Ethan had been discouraging him, and fell dead silent, probably with a bit of guilt. You turned to see his face and found Victoria grinning wide. She skipped right up to you and started touching your curls. You wanted to tell her off, but more so you wanted to throw something at Dami, who stood there with his jaw on the floor.

"Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous. I'm aware." You don't hide the irritation, and decide locating a hair tie would make the situation better.

"Oh, I wasn't going to say ridiculous!" Victoria gushed. She followed you into the bathroom, playing with your hair like a cat. When you smacked her hand away she laughed good-naturdly, unoffended.

"Right, sorry! Is this how you became an amazing stylist? Like dealing with your own hair?" Feeling like a zoo animal was very unpleasant, but this was a line of questioning you are comfortable with.

"It takes a lot to get it silky and straight, like someone's is naturally. Y'know all it takes for Ethan's is -"

"Aha! Brian May! Thats who I was thinking off," Thomas exclaims.

"Brian May?" Damiano murmurs, not recognizing the name. "Oh, psh, from Queen, obviously! Yeah, I see it." Damiano, at least has the good sense to wince as soon as he speaks. Thomas seems oblivious to the notion that being compared to a man born in the 40s wasn't a compliment.

"And, y'know, what people don't get about him as a guitarist..." You let Thomas drone on about music facts down the hall from you, at least distracting Damiano. Victoria watches your face as you wrestle with your hair, braking the only elastic in sight. You let out a growl of frustration and hear Ethan knocking on the door frame.

"Cara mia, I'm sorry about them. I would've warned you we were coming. I tried to talk them out of it, but -"

"Wait, wait. Y/n shouldn't have to spend an hour on her hair every time she comes in contact with another person. Thats exhausting!" You let out a snort, laughing at the painful accuracy of Vic's statement. "I think it's beautiful and Thomas doesn't know how to talk to other human beings, but comparing you to one of his favorite guitarists is a huge compliment because he's an idiot. Damiano likes the sound of his own voice and Ethan knows you're too good for him, so let me get you a goddamn glass of wine!"

She leaves the room, on a mission. You hear both Damiano and Thomas make noises of dissent and know its Victoria causing them some kind of inconvenience as retribution on your behalf. Ethan steps into the bathroom behind you, tucking the tag into your shirt, sweeping your hair off of one shoulder, and kissing the skin.

"Your beautiful, beautiful hair," he declares, softly. You smile, because theres no arguing with him on this. Ethan loves your hair, even when it gets in his mouth while you're cuddling.

"They're more annoying than I remember." As if on cue, you hear something shatter on the kitchen floor, probably a wine glass.

"Every day they are my burden and you are my reprieve," he jokes, kissing all the way up your neck. He strokes you head, coaxing the hair back. When it's manageable enough, Ethan uses the hair tie on his wrist to secure it back. You sigh, letting the tension go and allowing yourself to smile.

"So, how was the studio today?" Ethan opens his mouth the answer, but is interrupted by Victoria's husky voice.

"I got your wine y/n! Is it safe to come back? You're not fucking in there right?" Ethan dissolves into disbelieving laughter from the mortification. He props is forearm against the wall and hangs his head, eyes scrunched closed.

"Make them leave," you request.

"If only I could."

[issaxcharlie]

Spectacular!

Pairing: Alive! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Inspired by Nickelodeon’s Spectacular! Luke Patterson needs the money for his bands demo, and miraculously, that same night he gets an offer to fix his problem. The catch? Rockstar boy has to join his school’s show choir and put up with their fearless Female Lead Singer. (don’t come here searching for accuracy remember it’s inspired by a movie)

Note: I had a lot of fun with this one, hope you like it! Oh and it’s a little long so keep it in mind +8k👀💜

Say this is not her scene would be to fall short, but she has to make sacrifices to find greatness. The first thing she notices when she walks into the little club, is that it's packed. The people look excited and somewhat desperate and she doesn't blame them. The pamphlet marked they were supposed to start at 8:00 p.m. and it's already 8:40. She makes her way carefully until she finds a perfect place in the middle of the room.

The musicians take the stage visibly anxious, especially Alex who cannot stop moving his hands trying to probably calm himself down. Reggie and the rhythm guitarist take their positions. They look at each other one last time before beginning to play the enveloping sound of the pop-rock song. The bass line sounds insane and she hasn't heard Alex play drums in years, he’s exceptional. They could both play without their singer all night and she wouldn't mind.

The space in the center of the stage that belongs to who she came to see today, completely empty. The bassist seems about to take the first verse when Sunset Curve lead guitarist and vocalist Luke Patterson appears on stage.

She has seen him multiple times in the hallways laughing with her childhood best friend, Alex Mercer and her lab partner, Reggie Peters, but she has never spoken directly to him. Still, it's hard not to notice how handsome he is and how much of a charismatic personality he has.

“I'm living my life just the way I like, they say I get a little too loud. Try to push me in a box, over analyze. But I'm never gunna turn it down”

His voice is enchanting and mesmerizing, a sound that immediately reminds her of the best rockers in history and his movements and energy are electrifying. In seconds the entire audience is jumping and dancing to the beat.

“They say never and I say right now!” Y/N analyzes him excitedly. The passion with which he sings and plays his guitar reminds her of when she is on stage, although the two of them dedicate themselves to totally different things, their love for music is the same. She definitely has a lot of work to do to polish him and make him the perfect performer she needs, but if there's anyone who can accomplish the impossible, it's her.

“No one's gonna stop me tonight! Thank you, we are Sunset Curve, tell your friends!” The presentation ends and Sunset Curve leaves the stage. The girl moves quickly to catch up with them at the back of the club, but when she finally arrives, screams can be heard from two of the members of the band.

“I know you don’t like me, Bobby. But trying to sabotage the show by giving me the wrong time is just the most stupidest thing you've ever done!” The guitarist looks furious, his muscles are really tense and Y/N can't help staring at his biceps way more than she probably should.

"This fight of egos between the two of you has to stop, we can no longer continue to be in the middle." The bassist cries out, tired of all the bickering.

“You no longer have to, Reggie. It’s time to decide. The lousy rocker or me. Remember that the money for the demo is mine before choosing... I'm not sure Patterson's lyrics can compete without the money to record them.”

The guitarist looks down at the ground, a mixture of anger and sadness on his face. Alex and Reggie turn to see each other for a second and then position themselves on either side of Luke, no sign of doubt on their faces.

“We’ll find a way without you. Let’s see If you find one without us.” Reggie declared with a little smirk. Bobby grabs his stuff and gets into his truck without looking back, completely furious.

"Some things Bobby was angry about are true and you have to improve them. You are not a solo artist, you are part of a band." Alex points to Luke as soon as the truck is out of sight, but before he can respond the blonde intercepts the girl at the door.

“Y/N?” The three of them turn to see her, Reggie smiles at her while Luke looks pissed off.

“Hey guys, I came to talk to Luke.” Luke frowns in surprise while the other two gape for a few seconds.

"Really?” Y/N turns with a murderous face towards her friend, who puts his hands in his pockets and begins to walk. “...Okay. Meanwhile Reg and I are going to figure out how to get the drums in Luke's car."

"If you come for an autograph please be quick, I don't feel like socializing." The guitarist declares to the wind, not wanting to pay attention to the stranger who approaches him in the middle of the alley, no matter how cute she looks.

“I’m not a fan.” She confesses in a firm voice, trying to measure the situation.

"Oh, then I'll go. See you later beautiful." He's about to leave when her voice stops him.

“Patterson, come back here!” There's something about her tone that makes Luke suddenly interested. He turns to see her carefully, her chin is up, her shoulders back. Her lips are press together and her eyes look determined and he can't help but admit that the confidence she projects is really doing something to him.

“2 minutes, firecracker.”

“I’m Y/N Y/L.” Faced with no comment from the guitarist, she decides to continue. “I need a male lead singer for my group and I think you might be the perfect fit, after I'm done with you, of course."

He’s unable to believe what he hears. “A band? I think you know pretty well I'm already in one.”

“It’s not a band, it’s a group. THE group If I can say so myself. Spectacular!” She affirms with the first smile he sees her that night, and he can't believe it is possible that she can look even more beautiful.

"Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit with the spectacular thing? At least tell me the name or what kind of band is." She rolls her eyes and he chuckles in response, thinking it was adorable and hot at the same time.

“I already told you, Spectacular! It’s a show choir.”

“Is this a joke? Did Bobby sent you?”

“No and no. I know it’s not really your style, but I’m telling you I can make it work. I heard a bit of the conversation you had with the band, the prize of Nationals is 10,000 dollars. I'm willing to give you half for the demo, if we win, obviously. And I can assure you we will if you accept and do absolutely everything I say.”

“Firecracker, are you trying to tell me that all I have to do to raise the money is put on some stupid cowboy or tiger-print outfit and humiliate myself in front of an entire audience with my best jazz hands? Wow, sounds like a dream!” Maybe he got a bit too sarcastic, but meh, as pretty as she is, she's still a stranger.

“My name is Y/N, and I'm not appreciating your tone of voice.” By this moment the girl seems tired of the musician, who feels the frustration in her and tries to be more gentle.

“I- I’m sorry. Thanks for the offer, but I don't feel as desperate yet as to end my reputation in that way. I hope you find what you are looking for, but that’s just not me. I'm just a guitarist.” She nods, entwining her arms against her chest. He admires her for a few more seconds and turns to his car, where his friends are already waiting for him to help with the drums.

Before getting behind the wheel he turns to her one last time, but she is nowhere to be seen.

Fights between Luke and Bobby weren't new to the band. The big-headed attitude of both collided practically all the time and things had been getting worse in recent months with the more overconfident attitude of the guitarist, but they never imagined that they would end up in this situation.

The days go by and the boys are running out of time. They have to deliver the demo to the Orpheum offices in two months so that they can be taken into account for the great concert they will hold at the end of the year presenting the best new talents in the city. All they've heard from Bobby is that he's trying to build his own band but without much success. Still, he doesn’t fold his hands and continues to try on his own.

The three remaining members of Sunset Curve are in Alex's room lying on the floor with their instruments around trying to think of solutions, when Y/N's voice coming from outside refreshes the blonde's memory. “What did Y/N want to talk to you the other day?”

“Who?” Luke narrows his eyes in confusion.

“Y/N? The captain of the school’s show choir? She went to talk to you after Bobby left the band. Small, fire in her eyes, a lot of attitude.”

“OH, Firecracker! So that group is our school's choir? that's even worse. She tried to recruit me, even offered me the money for the demo if we win the competition in which they will participate.”

“What? She wants you in Spectacular? What did you said?” Alex heard that his friend's ex-boyfriend broke up with her and joined last year's national champions, but he never imagined that she would try to replace him with someone like Luke. Luke is distracted by a melody and doesn’t answer his friend's question.

"Why does your mom always leave her music on when she leaves to work?" The music is definitely not his style, they are always usually pop songs or even songs from musicals, but the singer's voice is one of the most beautiful he has ever heard so it never bothers him.

“It’s not her music, is Y/N.” Alex responds, wondering what the young woman is up to since she is never usually home at this hour.

“Who?” Alex's eyes widen, not able to believe his friend.

“Really? I already told you!” The guitarist tilts his head and shrugs. “Firecracker?”

“What does firecracker have to do with this?” Alex opens his balcony curtains and the silhouette of a young woman singing and dancing through her transparent pink ones comes to their visions.

“She’s so good bro, I thought it was a record too.” Reggie looks at her with a big smile as Alex rolls his eyes at Luke.

As soon as he sees her, the musician is in a trance, admiring the grace and energy with which she moves, wanting with all his might to remove the pink curtain that does not allow him to see her properly.

The song ends and a well-known melody begins to play with prominent bass and drums. “Guys, shut up! I’m trying to hear her sing.”

“It’s not us, man.” Reggie answers almost screaming with how loud the girl’s music is.

“What do you-” Luke turns around and sees his friends with their hands raised, the cables finally connecting in his brain. "She is listening our song?"

"Not just listening, she's also destroying your career, her vocals are amazing." The black-haired boy adds, smirking and running to connect his bass.

Luke excitedly opens the balcony window and sings the pre-chorus as loud as he can to get the singer's attention. “Call me in the morning to apologize, every little lie gives me butterflies.” She immediately turns around and smiles at the guitarist's cocky smile. She opens the curtain and the window and her sunset curve t-shirt is the first thing the band notices.

“Something in the way you're looking through my eyes, don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive.” Luke sings seductively towards her, each word fully dedicated to the woman in front of him.

Reggie accompanies them with his bass while Alex looks at his friends incredulously, an "Are you fucking kidding me." Comes out of the blonde almost like a whisper when he identifies the shirt that the girl wears as his.

Both sing the chorus together and the chemistry is unquestionable. Alex had never thought of this two together because at first glance they seem completely different, but thinking about it a little more deeply they couldn't be more similar. They are both passionate, headstrong, live for the stage, and are ridiculously talented and confident.

“Fight so dirty, but you love so sweet. Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth. Late night devil, put your hands on me. And never, never, never ever let go.”

The performance between the duo is playful, driving, sexy and intense and Alex and Reggie can't help but feel like they're interrupting a private moment. As soon as the song ends, the girl moves closer to the window, blows them a kiss and closes it.

"Where did that woman come from?" Luke whispers as he tries to catch his breath. Nobody had enchanted him so much just by singing, well, nobody had enchanted him, period. But she’s definitely something.

“She has been my neighbor since we were 6 years old, we used to be best friends but we both drifted apart when we entered high school. She’s amazing, the best performer in the city.” Alex informs him and then Reggie adds his own piece of valuable information. “She’s my lab partner. Fun, smart, beautiful, the whole deal. A true gem.”

“Answering your question, I said no to her offer. But I guess the group of someone this rad can't be that bad. And we really need the money." The drummer purses his lips and nods. His friend definitely took the hook.

"Honestly, I always wanted to audition, I guess the three of us could try in, to support you obviously."

“Of course man, she sounded desperate when she asked, and if the shirt and song is any indication she is definitely a huge Sunset Curve fan. She tried to fool me by saying she wasn't a groupie, as if that was possible after seeing us perform.”

His friends leave the house and Alex plays on the drums the secret signal he had with the girl when they were younger, a minute later the girl appears in her window with an amusing smile, dressed in her classic blue pajamas.

“Really?” The drummer chuckled and his friend’s smile grows even bigger, a little laugh leaving her lips. “The shirt was a nice touch. A little much, but that idiot must have fallen for it completely. I want it back by the way.”

“You can see right through me. You know the invitation is open, right? I would love nothing more than to have you there.” He has known her his whole life, and realized early on that she was just trying to get his friend's attention to reconsider her offer by raising his ego, and he honestly doesn't mind. It's about time Luke met someone of his caliber. Perhaps her influence could do him good.

“I- thank you. I guess we’ll see. See you tomorrow.” She blows him a kiss and closes the window. Tomorrow sure is going to be an interesting day, Sunset Curve joins Spectacular.

Having to face Spectacular! And telling them they still don't have a male lead singer who can compete against Damian was not easy. Her options are running out and she honestly doesn't know what to do to save them.

Damian on stage is the best, it pains her to admit that she has never seen anyone like him. At first she thought she could continue without him, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that he is just impossible to replace.

Everyone continues to practice the routine, clearly discouraged after her bad news and it honestly breaks her heart. She knows how much the group means to everyone for different and personal reasons and she can't let them lose this. So whatever she has to do, she’ll do it so they can have the leader they deserve.

“I thought the children in the choir would have more energy, this is just sad, firecracker.” She hides her wide smile before turning to the owner of the voice, who is entering the auditorium with his best friends. Money really talks, otherwise she can't explain what would make him appear here.

“Dude, can you please play nice? This is important!” Reggie looks flustered and scolds Luke probably louder than he planned. The guitarist just ignores him and winks shamelessly at her. Seems her little plan from yesterday was successful, now she just has to play the situation in her favor.

“Mercer, Peters... Patterson. Can we help you with something?” The performer shows a perfect poker face, Spectacular continues to practice but they can't help but turn their attention to the rock band.

“I came to accept your proposal, but only If we can include Reggie and Alex in the deal. I guess as long as I’m in whatever I ask shouldn't be a problem." He crosses his arms and gives her a confident smile.

“I could actually do with a few more members, specially as talented as Reg and Alex. As for you, you've already turned down my offer Lucas, but if for some reason you don't graduate this year, make sure you audition the next one. Now, let’s start boys." Y/N moves within inches of Luke to gently close his open mouth with her index finger, and gives him a small wink before turning and taking the other two musicians each on each arm and pulling them closer to where the group is still practicing.

“Y/N, you can’t be serious.” The skilled singer continues to ignore him as she explains to her new members something Luke can't quite hear.

The musician frustrates and walks until he is directly in front of her. “Y/N” He groans.

“I'm not firecracker anymore? That is just sad.” Luke looks upset, but she's determined to not let him have what he wants after what he said at the club, so if he wants the money that bad he's going to have to prove it.

“I’m going to explain you something quickly so you can go and stop wasting my time. I’ve seen your band play, I know how good these two are at singing, which means I don't need you anymore, nor do I have to put up with your rockstar wannabee attitude. I need someone that I can connect with and have the chemistry that leaves everyone forgetting how to breathe, and after yesterday, I just don't think that's you.” Right now she is grateful to be such a good actress because yesterday's act melted her legs, even though they were separated by the balconies. This man is unreal, totally unfair.

"I do, I wouldn't be surprised if they kissed at any moment." The bassist whispers as Alex looks at him with an incredulous face, he just slowly shakes his head from side to side and continues to see the leader of their band and their new leader in a starting contest, is kind of an amusing sight since Luke is definitely not used to having to face someone like him.

“It’s like you said, you are just a guitarist. Thinking you could handle something like this was ridiculous of me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a group to direct."

Y/N hopes she hasn't pushed the rockstar too much, but remains firm in her tactics and turns to the others to continue with the rehearsal. She signals them to put the most similar song to the Sunset Curve sound that she can remember at the moment to make Alex and Reggie feel more calm and to see if she finishes catching Luke’s interest, who still doesn’t move from where he is with his eyes fixed on her, which she takes as as a good sign.

The moment the song start, both sunset curve members smile, and Luke's voice is heard from behind. “So you're the girl, I heard the rumor.” He sounds powerful and captivating and immediately sets everyone's eyes on him. She doesn’t give him the luxury of turning to see him, but he is not going to give up and in a quick and agile movement he turns her by the hand.

“Why don't you break my heart, make it hurt so bad. Come on give it your best, nothing less, I insist, I want it just like that.” The girl should have thought more about her choice before asking for a song like this. Every word that comes out of the musician's mouth is addressed directly to her with an intensity in his eyes and movements that should be illegal.

She tries to get out of his way but he makes it pretty clear that he's not singing to prove himself to the group, he's doing it to prove something to her. Specifically, to prove her wrong.

“Stare me down, intimidate me. Oh baby please you'll never break me.” He comes dangerously close to her, basically inches apart, his eyes fixed on her lips and smiling flirtatiously as he sings, his eyes glinting mischievously.

She enters the song so as not to make him feel like she’s defeated and starts dancing with him to the rhythm, their movements matching effortlessly as they move across the stage.

She pulls herself back as far as she can, but Luke surprises everyone by doing a body roll on the floor, his arms looking more gorgeous than ever in that sleeveless shirt as they take the full weight of his body without any problem, his eyes never losing contact with hers. All the girls start to do small screams while Y/N's cheeks turn red at her thoughts. He slides on his knees towards her and gets up as he puts his foot on her to make her lose balance and catch her right at the end of the song.

“Why don’t you break my heart.” They've been in a trance since the song started and it's like it's just the two of them in the auditorium. Their lips are almost touching, neither willing to give up eye contact or move from their current position, until the applause and shouts of excitement bring them back to reality.

“I have chemistry with everybody that I sing with, firecracker.” He whispers to her lips before shifting the girl's full weight to his right arm to raise his left one to her face and carefully close her mouth with his finger, winking with a cocky smile before lifting her up.

Immediately everyone begins to advocate for him with all kinds of arguments that ranged from how sensual he was to how much of a presence he had on stage. Her best friend’s comment is the one that catches his attention the most. "You have even more chemistry with him than Damian, I didn't think it was possible." That definitely sounds interesting.

Y/N pretends to listen to her teammates before saying Luke can enter the group. The truth is that she knew from the first moment she saw him perform with Sunset Curve that he was a star, but this facet without the guitar and irradiating passion from his pores was something that left her speechless.

Still, she knew all the work that would go into preparing the band and it really was exhausting. For them to understand that they couldn't just sing like they do at the club, that there are rules to follow, dance steps they have to learn, facial expressions they have to master, notes they have to hit perfectly, wasn’t easy but they succeeded.

Along the way, she regained her bond with Alexander, her friendship with Reggie grew stronger, and each day she felt closer to Luke. She has been practicing a duet with him for weeks now, and the chemistry that they have set to burn the stage more than once. It was hard for her to ignore how the guitarist's hands feel on her thighs as he lifts her or the way he wraps himself around her, breathing softly down her neck or brushing his lips teasingly over her cheekbone. Both are very physical to show affection so small contacts such as hugs or caresses, as well as small kisses on the cheek or hand were very recurrent. They had also gone out multiple times alone and with their friends, from the cinema, the park, to see them play, to small parties at home, to midnight talks.

Reggie was the one who had her alone the most because they were lab partners, but no matter how hard the bassist tried to get information from the girl, he never succeeded. The truth is that not even she knows what is happening with the guitarist, she is for the first time in her life letting herself be carried away and enjoying the moment, and she’s loving it.

Luke and Alex are in detention after the brown haired boy made a mess in the classroom by putting together a little concert with the help of the blonde, and as they die of boredom, his mind can’t help to go to her for the 14th time of the day. "How did she end up in the show choir?"

Alex is blank for a few seconds but analyzes the question and realizes who they are talking about. “Spectacular used to be the most important show choir in the country, led by her mother, may she rest in peace. Y/N always wanted to be a part of it and when she lost her, it became a goal. She suffered a lot to get to the perfect star we see today, especially because her father is rarely there since he works outside the country. She has practically had to face alone auditions, injuries, she had to learn to sew, comb her hair and put on makeup for the show, sing for hours her solos with no one to encourage her, without mention that the current director could not care less about the group and practically leaves all the work to her. That’s why she’s so be fearless, she kind of has to."

“I didn’t know.” The sight of Y/N as happy as ever with his mother when he took her home for lunch the week before appears in his memory. She looked radiant as she ate his mother's famous stew and listened to stories of little Luke as he gently stroked her thigh while songwriting with his other hand. When was the last time she got to experience something as homelike as that? Luke probably doesn’t want to know.

Alex's sad voice brings him back to the conversation.“I was supposed to be there, you know? At first I was. We were going to audition for Spectacular together, but that summer I met you and Sunset Curve was born, and I didn’t have the time anymore so I abandoned her. I knew how important it was for her to have me there, and I didn't even go to her audition. And do you know how many times she has reproached me? Not even one.”

Luke knows that Alex would never hurt her on purpose and that the situation was probably much more complicated than he expresses it, so he reassures him and lets him know that she loves him and is proud that he took his own path. As soon as the blonde calms down, he begins to tell him multiple stories about when he and the girl were kids, the songwriter takes out his journal and begins to add lyrics to the song he has been working on, more inspired than ever.

“You are falling so deeply for her, man. I’m happy for you both.” His friend comments to him while reading the verses written on the paper. He totally is.

“Bowling, nice. I'm going to finish you off, Patterson.”

“As sexy as your confidence sounds, I'm not going to let you win.”

“I'm pretty sure you've never gone bowling.” Alex adds with furrowed eyebrows.

“Your point is, Mercer?” She wrinkles her nose and sticks out her tongue. Reggie chuckles amused.

"How can you be so sure that you are going to win?"

“Oh, my dear cute blonde. I’m good at everything.” She makes a slight remark on everything with her eyes fixed on the guitarist, who chokes while blushing.

She smiles cheekily at him and confidently steps into the room, Sunset Curve behind as Alex and Reggie tease Luke for being completely whipped.

Happiness doesn't last long when the first thing they see inside is Damian Miller along with a couple of his new teammates. The moment their eyes meet, Y/N seems to melt, but not in the good way.

Her firm and perfect posture now all bent as she embraces herself with her arms and tries with the strength that has left to hold her gaze at the person who took everything from her without much more than an empty sorry.

When she feels the guitarist at her side again, she unconsciously stretches her hand to intertwine her fingers with him, who tilts his head to see their hands together and then to see her face.

She is not doing it to make Damian jealous, but to feel supported. And when Luke realizes it, he can't help not feeling angry at the boy in from of them. In the month that he has been with her, he has never seen her doubt, fear, or believe anything less than that she is unstoppable. And today for the first time ever he sees her intimidaded, and the fact that it's because of a jerk like this makes it even worse.

He rubbs her hand to make her feel less anxious and when she turns to meet his eyes, he brings his index finger to her chin and winks at her, hoping she gets the message. She seems to do it because she immediately smiles playfully and begins to look more relaxed.

The guitarist is aware that Damian was his firecracker's first boyfriend, and he also knows how much he betrayed her love and trust. No matter how strong the woman is, her reaction is completely normal and valid, and that she has the confidence to be vulnerable and let him be there for her means a lot to him.

“Princess.” Damian whispers as he moves closer to her, his eyes fixed on Y/N and Luke's clasped hands.

“I’m not your princess, Y/L is just fine. Listen, Damian. I could pretend this is not uncomfortable and boring but, I don't want to. So yeah, excuse us.”

She pulls the hand that joins her to Luke to make him walk and Alex and Reggie follow behind them, looking at her ex boyfriend with little smiles of pride. Alex knows how much Damian turned off Y/N’s spark and seeing her put him in his place makes him feel so proud.

"So someone is going to teach me bowling or what?"

“I’ll do it baby, but another day. Today we came here with a different purpose.” Luke points to the large Rock the World machine located in a comfortable corner space.

“Of course, is always about music with you, eh Patterson?” She smirks, getting a little closer to him.

“Pretty much, but I can tell that attracts you, Y/L.” He wrinkles his nose, his lips parting slightly.

“Hell yeah it does.” he smirks, not at all expecting her to admit it so openly but he definitely should have seen it coming.

“Good thing I’m into dominant firecrackers then.”

“Could you stop flirting for a second and start playing? I have plans to destroy Alex and your daily session of sexual tension is not going to ruin it.”

Both smile at Reggie while Y/N takes the games microphone and Luke the guitar. The song that Y/N chooses is She’s so gone by Naomi Scott, and it goes without saying that the boys have never played it in their lives but they love a challenge.

The mastery with which the girl interprets the song makes a good number of people come to see the round, including her ex-boyfriend and his new friends.

“Here I am, this is me, and I'm stronger than you ever thought I'd be. Are you shocked? Are you mad? That you're missing out on who I really am.”

The singer sings the verse directly towards Damian, as his friends start pointing out and teasing him. Reggie goes over to tell Luke he thought he would join her, but the guitarist only replies, "I want to see her shine."

She gets carried away with the music and draws Luke to her, jumping and twirling to the beat of the music. The guitarist hyping her up every single second og the song. At the end the night was incredible, the four of them spent it singing, dancing and even bowling, which Y/N ended up dominating from the second round.

Luke thought that there would be no better time than that night to show her what he had been working on, so after saying goodbye to her he went to Alex’s where he had left his journal.

Before he can say goodbye to the blond, screams are heard from the house next door. “I wasn't trying to embarrass you, Damian!”

“No? So what were you doing shaking your hips against the rock boy?”

“I don't have to explain anything to you, but I think it's pretty obvious why I wanted to be against that body, have you seen it?” She says it playfully with her eyes fixed on the guitarist, who is walking with the blonde to her door, her eyes glinting wickedly in the dark. He chuckles, knowing it's the girl's way of reassure him and she smiles as she sees his expressions relax.

“Everything alright, firecracker?” Luke does not stand in front of her like a brave prince, he stops a meter from both of them and asks before intervening, and that makes her heart melt. Because he wants to hear her first, he trusts that she can take care of it and has the confidence to tell him if she needs help, which is also completely valid. And it's something she has to work on, know that there are also times when it's okay to trust someone. That you don't always have to carry the weight alone.

“Go away, punk. My girl and I are in the middle of something.” The three of them start laughing at the ex-boyfriend's intimidation attempt, who seems to get angrier with every laugh that comes out of their mouths.

“I’m fine baby, but you guys could show him the way out? I’m tired of his bullshit.” She asks the boy with a cute smile, and he would disintegrate over the nickname if her horrible ex-boyfriend and her best friend weren't there.

"Don't touch me, I’ll go. Right now the numbers are not working in my favor so we will fix this where it really matters, on stage. Let's see if this attempt at a singer can save you from total humiliation, because let's be honest Y/N, you are nothing without me."

The faces of both members of Sunset Curve begin to tense, Luke's fists completely white from how much he's clenching them. For her part, the singer, who is already used to that type of comments from her ex-boyfriend, only tells him "yes, yes, you're right. It was a pleasure Dami, never come back." while pushing him to the other side to make him go away.

The nickname comes off her tongue in the most natural way in the world, she doesn't even seem to notice it and Luke feels some annoyance hearing it. As if someone had hit him in the stomach. But immediately the discomfort goes away when the girl turns to them again with a big smile and runs to hug them excitedly.

“Thanks for coming to check me out, guys. Things can sometimes get out of control with him.”

"We will always be there for you when you need us, okay? I actually went into Alex's house to get something I wanted to show you but it's late, I’ll come back tomorrow." The blonde turns from his friend to the other, a tired smile appears on his lips as he passes Luke his journal to place his arm on his childhood friend and lean on her.

"No, don't go please. Damian was pretty mad and... I don't want to be alone." She can be very dramatic at times but the fear in her voice sounds sincere, and remembering the scream that brought them outside in the first place Alex imagines how scared she really was before seeing them show up and his heart clenches at the thought.

“O- Okay, sure.” He sounds nervous but the excitement is evident in the way his left leg keeps moving, just like when he's on stage.

“I do have to go in, you already know mom. Will you be alright with just Luke?” He already knows the answer from the girl's radiant gaze but it doesn't hurt to confirm. She hugs him tightly with her arms around his neck and whispers a "Yes, I love you but go away already." which makes the drummer laugh out loud while high-fiving his other friend goodbye.

The third wheel enters his house and finally they are alone. She smiles and takes him by the hand to enter the house. Luke takes a moment to admire it, everything is in place but there are several instruments throughout the living room. A keyboard on the couch, a guitar next to the TV, even a tambourine on the table.

"May l?" He walks over to the guitar and turns to see the girl nodding and pointing up the stairs for him to follow. Her room is quite similar to her style, white is the predominant color but there are many details in pink and gold, as well as multiple yellow lights giving a romantic tone to the room at midnight.

“Do you want to show me now?” she asks eagearly, with joined hands, closed eyes and pursed lips.

“Y- yeah... of course.” He sits on the rug and puts the guitar aside, then puts his notebook between his legs and when he finds the sheet he is looking for, he carefully tears it off. The girl looks at him adoringly, the happiness of having him with her making her heart beat louder in her chest. She sits across from him making sure to brush his legs and waits for him to speak.

“Here.” He looks nervous, his cheeks totally flushed as he avoids eye contact for the first time since they met.

Y/N takes the sheet in his hands and a huge warm smile appears on her face when he sees the guitarist's terrible lyrics. BRIGHT written and highlighted several times in the title.

“It’s for you.” Luke whispers while bringing his face closer to hers, making her shiver.

“You wrote me a song?” She doesn't know what to say. Since her mom, no one had done anything so beautiful, considerate, and selfless for her. Something so vulnerable and full of love.

“Don’t be mad, but Alex told me a little about how you ended up in show choir, your friendship with him, your mom.” He turns to see her looking for her reaction, she just nods to tell him it’s okay to continue. “A sweet story about a little girl with the voice of an angel who loved to sing love songs. And you know what was in my head all that night? That even though I've never written one, I would write millions of love songs for you.”

Some tears fall from the girl's face, she carefully places the lyrics on the guitar and throws herself on the guitarist, who falls in surprise against the carpet, making sure to grab her by the waist so that she falls safely on his chest. She rests her arms on either side of his head and brings her lips against Luke's, brushing them gently.

Luke doesn't move a muscle, not wanting to do something to make her uncomfortable, when he suddenly hears her talk. “And what about teeth? I mean is not the sweetest love story ever told but-”

The boy chuckles, Y/N's curious eyes a few inches away. “Alex wrote that one after his first breakup, Reggie and I did the melody.”

“Good. Guess we’ll have to start making some experiences to help you write all that songs.” At that moment she finally pushes her lips against his, both in a moment of euphoria at the taste of each other. She presses her body against him and he bites lightly with his teeth on her lower lip to shove his tongue against her mouth in response. Her little hands pulling his hair hard as his hands go down her butt. Both of them enjoying what they had been dreaming of for so long.

When the two finally separate they fall in a comfortable silence, she starts to admire his facial features, delicately running her fingers through his nose, his mouth, his cheekbones, until he interrumpts her. “I knew you want me from the beginning, I could see the lust in your eyes. Everything about the choir was a complex plan to get me under you.” Luke affirms with his best poker face, and sees clearly how her eyes fill with light while a pure laugh escapes from her now swollen lips.

“And as always, I achieved the goal. The hot local rockstar is sleeping on my bed tonight.” No matter how hard he tries, he can never catch her off guard and he always ends up being the one blushing. She kisses him softly before getting up and taking the song lyrics back. “Luke, do you mind if I sing a bit of the song?”

“Of course not, it's yours. I will accompany you with the guitar, from the pre-choir?”

She nods and begins to sing the words he wrote for her. “Life is a risk but I will take it, close my eyes and jump. Together I think that we can make it, come on, let's run.”

She is reading the choir as she sings and the urge to cry reappears. He's basically telling her that she no longer has to go on living life alone, that she can lean on him, she can trust him to fight by her side. That it can be us instead of I.

“And rise through the night, you and I, we will fight to shine together. Bright forever.”

As soon as they finish singing Luke puts the guitar aside and goes over to wipe the tears from the girl's face. “I know that at first glance it doesn't seem like a love song, but..."

“But it is. It’s perfect, thank you Luke.” She didn't know that someone other than her could make her feel so special, but he proved her wrong, again.

The night before was like a dream. Y/N sleeping with his shirt while he wrapped her completely in his arms, singing softly in her ear and leaving little kisses on her neck every few verses until she fell asleep. At this point there is no way to deny how completely in love he is with her.

“Man, we need to talk.” His blonde friend wakes him up from his daydream and starts pulling him down the hall to an empty table in the cafeteria, where Reggie is already waiting for them.

They both sit down and Alex takes a deep breath as he plays with his fingers, trying to form coherent sentences with the words in his head. “Bobby called last night.” Luke's gaze instantly shifted to disgust, while Reggie looks quite shocked.

“So? What did he want?” Luke whispers, trying to sound disinterested.

“He sent some of our videos to an important person at Destiny Management and they are interested in the band. He said that if we comply with certain requests he will give the money for us to record the demo this Friday so that it’s ready for the appointment."

“And I guess you told him we don't need him or his money. What did he answer you? He cried?" the guitarist asks with an amused face, but his friends just look at each other.

“Don't you think we should think more about it? What happens if we don't win nationals? We’ll have lost something as sure as Bobby's deal for nothing."

“She’s my friend and I love her but I have to agree, Luke. As difficult as it is, our priority has to be Sunset Curve, not Spectacular"

“But-”

“They are right, Luke.” All three look at the girl, as pale as If they had seen a ghost. “Spectacular is my dream, And I know I'd do anything for it. It would be unfair of me to get angry because you’re fighting for yours. Don't hesitate, if anyone can find a way out of this it's me.”

“But, the duet...”

“I’ll just have to be the melody and the words. I’ll be fine, and honestly I'm so proud of you guys, I know you will be rock legends one day.” All three feel guilty but don't know what to say or do to make it right. She goes over to hug the drummer and the bassist who take her in their arms with all their strength, a “I’m so sorry” from the blonde accompanied by an “I know” from the girl can be heard. Then she stands in front of the guitarist and kisses his lips intensely, but breaking away painfully fast. The guys leave lovers alone for a moment of privacy.

“I believe in you, baby. You are destined to be a star, forget everything else, even me. Take the moment and knock them off their feet.” She kisses him lightly on the lips and walks a few steps back. “This month was the happiest of my life in a long time, thank you. Guess I’ll see you guys around.”

“Why do you sound like you are saying goodbye? And a horrible one? I thought you were good at everything.” Luke walks over to her again and places his hands on her cheeks, rubbing them gently. His voice is shaky and his eyes are glassy, she snorts at his sudden taunt, a little smile covered with the tears.

“Once everyone gets back to their own business, do you think you'll still have time for me? Alex is my damn neighbor, and we couldn't keep in touch.” And Luke gets it. She is used to being alone, to people not being permanent in her life. Neither her parents, nor her best friend, nor her boyfriend, nor anyone else has stayed. So this time to protect herself she decided that he too was going to leave, that it would be foolish to think that he of all possible people would stay.

“I‘m not letting you go baby, you're the only one I would let to boss me around.” The girl laughs when she remembers the millions of times she had to correct him and how he always ended up making her blush in some way, especially when they danced. She can't remember telling him but dancing with him has been the most special thing she has ever experienced. She danced with Damian for years and it never felt like the first time Luke put her long, strong hands on her waist and pulled her close to him. She can only hope to feel that way again one day.

“You are my one and only, firecracker. We’ll find a way, neither of us is a quitter.”

They say that actions are worth a thousand words, and Luke had definitely missed his first chance to show Y/N that he was serious about them by not getting in time to wish her good luck before she left with the group to the city of the competition, a few hours from there. He couldn't help but feel more miserable when he returned to the studio and found a small yellow sheet in his journal.

“You got this, rockstar. I have so much faith in you, so go make me proud. And I don’t want you feeling guilty, okay? I always want to see you shine, baby, no matter what. Your firecracker, Y/N.” Luke laughs softly, dazzled by her attempt to be sweet. If she trusts him so much, why doesn't he return the favor? She assured him they could win and when she says something, she follows through.

Why ruin his life with all of Bobby's ridiculous demands while ditching his girl in the process when he can go sing with her and do band things their way, without selling their soul to the devil. He sits on the couch thinking about what to say to the boys when they both rush in and pick him up, one from his feet and the other from his arms.

“What the hell are you two planning this time?” Luke sounds annoyed but does nothing to stop them from moving him, they throw him into the back of the car and he hits his head, getting him to kick them before they close the door.

"I'm not going to let her down again, I can’t."

"Yeah, and surely we can win, the number is spectacular... do you understand what I did there?”

Alex rolls his eyes and Luke smiles. They drive at full speed to Luke’s for him to take all his things and when he returns to the car, stands thoughtfully by the window.

“What are you doing?!” Alex is not having it, looks like a vein is going to burst from stress any second now.

“Do you think we’ll make it?” Questioned the guitarist, clearly nervous.

“If you stop asking stupid as fuck questions and get in the car, maybe.” Luke pouts but listens and finishes loading everything in the trunk.

The road is full of music to try to calm all the nerves, there was also plenty of time to rehearse the number over and over again, Luke analyzing in his mind every move he had to make, from time to time his bossy girl correcting him in his head. The only difficult thing was probably changing into the costumes, especially for Alex.

They arrive directly to register and the band turns pale when they hear the powerful and breathtaking voice of the singer who is playing her solo right now, a heavenly version of 'Never enough’. By the time they are ready to go, the main number has already started, the imposing woman in the very center of the stage with one of the boys of the group, who although does not have the voice of the guitarist, is making a good effort. Damian is on the other side, staring at her with a superiority smirk and Luke can't help but want to punch him.

“I never realized how anyone could make everything so right, I was so sad, you brought me back.” Alex quickly indicates to him how to enter the stage from the back, and Luke prepares to jump in time for the chorus, taking care of not being seen as he climbs the platform. The song is an old pop-rock song from the 80s, specifically chosen to make the guitarist's voice shine. He and his firecracker sat listening to music for hours until they finally found it, the girl's eyes shining with excitement as she imagined all she could do with the potential of the melody.

“You give me something to believe in, after all that we've been through.” He appears on the platform just in time, the lights and smoke coming out right in his grand entrance. Y/N turns immediately upon hearing her voice and he dances his way towards her.

“The love you give, it all comes back to you. You give me something to believe in, you can see the real me. And here with you is where I'm meant to be.” both singing together the remainder of the chorus and dancing to the beat. The biggest smile he has seen in his girl since he met her on her beautiful face. With that he feels satisfied with his decision, whatever happens, win or lose, it was worth it.

“And here we are together side by side, and nothing seems impossible tonight.” the duet between them is electrifying as always, he puts his hands on her thighs and lifts her with ease, both of them moving and enjoying themselves as if they were the only ones in the place. The dance ends as the first time they danced in the auditorium when he showed her that he was the right option, he holds her with one arm, their lips inches from touching but holding the magnetism back for a few more seconds until finally leave the stage.

As soon as they are backstage Y/N throws herself at Luke, wrapping her legs around his hips and devouring his lips with hers. “Someone missed me.” Luke whispers catching his breath.

"I can't believe you guys did this for me." Expressed the girl as she turns to see her other two friends, still wrapped around Luke who has her tightly held with his huge arms around her butt.

“We trust you as much as you trust us. We know that you will win, you worked like nobody for this moment.” Affirmed the blonde, giving her a small kiss on the forehead.

“I feel like I won already.” And she did. She won the trophy, the money for the demo, friends, and a ridiculously gorgeous rockstar who drove her crazy in more ways than one. All this years working hard were finally worth it... and Damian throwing a tantrum in the middle of the stage felt good too, not gonna lie.

“When are you going to ask me to be your boyfriend? As much as I love you more than anything, a man has to have some pride, you know? We've been together for like 5 months and I'm getting desperate.” They are both lying together on the girl's bed, their legs intertwined as he makes little circles with his fingers on his girl's stomach.

She raises her head resting her hand on his bare chest, her thoughts impossible to read. What are you talking about? I'm waiting for you to ask me!” He chuckles, prepared to tease her. “Bu-”she interrumpts him, pushing the hand that is resting on him to sit down. “Ba-”

“Wait a second, Lucas!” He bites his lip, he never liked being called by his name but for some reason it sounds incredibly sensual when she says it. “Yeah, baby?”

“D- did you say you love me?”

“I did, and I do. Everybody knows you've got me trapped in your claws.” He jokes to make her laugh, and he succeeds.

“I love you too, so much.”

“I know baby.” He winks teasingly at her. “Returning to the topic, you are the most bossy and confident person I have ever met, and you want to tell me that you were waiting for me to take the first step? Doesn’t sound like my firecracker. You literally pretended to be a sunset curve super fan to get my attention.”

"I totally did, I was awesome, first thing next day you were at the auditorium.” She says proud while Luke rolls his eyes with a smile. “But if it makes you feel better, I'm 100% a fan now, and...You are completely right, for once.”

She takes a deep breath, intertwining her fingers with his. “Lucas Patterson, I want you, if we're being honest, probably from the first time I saw you at that Sunset Curve gig we met at. You are annoying, cocky, passionate, and I love you with all my heart. Be my boyfriend... please.”

“There it is, that’s my girlfriend.” His eyes full of lust after hearing that she wanted him from the first night, he draws her closer to him to push his lips against hers, his girlfriend's tongue quickly dancing with his.

"Oh my god, we already talked about this, close the damn window, I don't want to hear it!” The blonde cries from his balcony, the couple can't help but laugh before joining their lips again.

Thank you for reading ✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713 @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @txrii @tuttigunner @dpaccione @justalittleweirdoo @mrstodorooki @averyharrypotterlife

[nctzanne]

Your Last Name

♡ doctor!mark x fem!Reader.♡ smut, fluff if you use glasses

WARNINGS!: use of alcohol and drugs, explicit content, not sex but mentions of it.

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: I just want you to give it a try and read it AAAH

𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡?: no, an idea i've had since i started stanning NCT

𝐴𝑛𝑛𝑒'𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡𝑠 & 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠: As i said above, this is an idea I've had for sOOOOOO many months, so I really wanted it to make it happen. It was on my drafts for a long time. Thank you so so much if you take the time to read this.

You noticed when your mind woke up suddenly, but without opening your eyes, slowly bringing you back to reality. You tasted your own mouth dry as a bone, with a metalic flavor on it, typical scenario when we talk about hangovers. The headache that invaded you so suddenly made you grab your forehead, almost if you brain was going to explode right there. The smell of fermentation on the room -or wherever you were- made you nauseous, so you stayed still to avoid vomiting everything you consumed the night before. A light breathing woke you up from your trance and inner speech, you could even feel the warmth of it on your shoulder. That's when you realize you were not alone, totally opposite of that, you were cornered by arms twice your size, avoiding you to move on the super duper comfortable position you were in. You still didn't want to open your eyes to notice who the lucky guy was, but you could smell the hints of tequila on his breath. When that hit your nose, you turned around abruptly by instinct, trying to avoid the smell. You opened my eyes a little, just to be able to locate yourself in space-time.

A room hotel, there's where you were. White walls reflected the light that came from outside of the giant windows, making you cover your eyes with the hand that wasn't under the grip of this unknown guy. Once your eyes get used to the light, you remembered that you were at Bora-Bora for vacations with your best friend. You can hear the eagles screaming way too loud for your irritable state, but just noticing where you were made you feel more calmed. "At least I'm here and they didn't kidnap me" You thought, finally grabbing the courage to turn around and see who exactly was the guy that had a night of passion with you.

"Sure, shit"

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

-Wait, repeat it to me, who did you meet? -You asked incredulously, looking at how your friend Rosé was overflowing with emotion and nervousness.

-Do you know this famous band?- She told you a name that you couldn't identify, you automatically shake your head-Anyways, while I was waiting for you on the beach I met with Jaehyun, the bass player, we talked a little and he invited us for a few drinks with his friends!- She talked so fast that you had a hard time processing all the information that was given to you.

-And that's it, a random guy talks to you and you say yes?. He could be a serial killer-

-Ah c'moooon, he's a superstar, it will be funn!!!-

So, a not so official date with guys from a band. Sure, excellent idea.

-Okay, are they handsome at least?- You asked with disinterest

-You can't imagine, y/n, so prepare yourself as well as possible, they will fall for you- she approached the small bridge that united your cabins in the middle of the sea, while she blowed you a flirtatious kiss.

You just laughed and walked towards the windows, admiring the sea. You were literally in paradise, your bedrooms floated above the ocean, the white sand was not so far from where you were staying in, and the horizon was clearer than ever. How lucky you were to have a friend who helped you get over your breakups with a very casual trip to Bora Bora at the Four Seasons hotel. Loneliness invaded you for a second and you decided to get ready for the long-awaited meeting that you would have with her friends.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

A white beach dress with pink heels and your tan is enough, with the right makeup obviously. It was already 7 pm and your nervous friend looked at her cell phone while texting with someone

-Is it him?- You ask, trying to peek behind her shoulder to see if you could figure out what they're talking about.

-Yes, he is telling me he's here at the bar but he doesn't see us-

-Of course, we are sitting, let me raise my hand- and so you did it.

-Here!!!!- Your friend screams in excitement when she sees 3 tall figures approaching to you. They seemed to walk on a slow pace, almost like the came out of a movie. And yes, your heart almost stopped for a good 10 seconds. Three guys, my gosh, models? What were they again?. God definitely had preferences for some human beings.

The fact that they aere so handsome and well… structured made you blush. Jaehyun, Johnny and ...

-Mark, nice to meet you- the youngest of the 3 of them greeted me, with a dazzling smile that makes his dimples appear. You bit your lip and studied his entire face so that you would never forget him again. -y/n, nice to meet you too-

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

Nothing more and nothing less than Mark Lee himself. His makeup was completely smeared, traces of mascara under his closed eyes. His forehead and nose were reflecting the daylight a bit. It was a hot morning (or evening), and having you next to his body was obviously going to make him sweat. His open, broken lips gave off that smell of alcohol that made you sick. But despite of everything, your sight softened after a couple of seconds. He was sleeping so peacefully, and he was clinging to you like his life depended on it, so you couldn't help but smile.

-Mark... wake up- you whispered softly while you tried to get up.

-Hmmmh, what time is it?- his morning voice made my stomach tingle a bit, your sight never leaving his figure while he starts waking up.

He squinted while he sit up in bed slowly, ruffling his own hair. It was obvious that he was in the same blank state you were a few minutes ago, and you could tell by how he confusingly looked around at the room, until his eyes reached at you. His face expression softened, giving you a shy smile.

-Do you need some clothes?- he asked, blushing when he studied your naked torso with lazy eyes. You realized that you both were entirely naked, and you rushed to cover your breasts with your arms, just to earn a pure laugh from him, that made your head resonate in pain.

-We fucked, y/n, no need to hide- Mark put all his weight on his left elbow, getting closer to you while tilting his face flirtatiously. That made you cheeks go red as ever.

-Yes, but I don't remember anything so your point is automatically invalid- His body hovered yours so fast that you couldn't even process what was happening, until he pecked your lips.

-I remember everything, so I will refresh your memory-

You burst out laughing while he deposited soft pecks all over your face. The situation was so sweet, but it didn't make you feel uncomfortable at all. He interrumpted his love actions and looked at you hungrily.

-Mark, I barely can keep myself awake, i feel like I'm going to puke...-You warned him, reading his intentions.

-Okay okay- he looked down defeated- At least, can we cuddle a bit more? I promise I can make the hangover feel better- He tangled his legs and arms to your body, resting his face on your collarbones.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

Everything on that evening was talking about the mortality of a crab. Basics like where you were from, what do you do for a living and relationship status open the conversation.

Your attention was drawn to Mark when he started to introduce himself. As a Medicine student, he decided with his 2 best friends that were part of a band to go on a trip to relax due to the busy schedules that consumes their time. The three live together on a small apartment in Korea, where the rent is expensive so they can make it more affordable.

Bora-bora was the destination of their choice. It seems that the band called NCT 127 draw lot of attention from crazy fans who followed them EVERYWHERE, so an expensive place like so would be easier to have a time for them on their own.

Mark spoke always adding "like" between his words, he liked to lay back when he was sipping on his piña colada, but got closer to the table when you talked about your experience as a journalist.

He tried so hard to show interest on a topic he had no idea about, that his questions were kinda clueless, but it was obvious that it was his way to not cut the attraction and chat between you and him. It was a sexual tension you could feel by kilometers, every gaze you had was followed by a shy smile, and you felt tingles on your body everytime you had a bit of interaction.

-Do you guys do shots?- Rosé interrumpted the conversation, scanning the boys reaction.

-I mean, that's why we are here- Johnny combed his hair backwards, already feeling heated by the 2 gin tonics he drank in 15 minutes. I couldn't deny, him on a tight black shirt looked hot as fuck, I could notice how Rosé was drooling for him- Excuse me, maa'am- he raised his hand, calling the waitress- 3 rounds of shots please!-

-Man, we had 2 yesterday and you almost puked on the sea, go easyyyy- you could notice the tipsy state from Jaehyun as well. His eyes were almost closed on a thin line and his dorky smile betrayed him. Mark laughed out loud, first time in the night you heard him like that, with his cheeks tinted red. He took a big sip of his piña colada, looking at you directly at the eyes. Actually, you didnt noticed till that moment, but your legs started to feel a bit numb. Quite usual for you when the alcohol gets up on your head.

-I'm in!- you answer to Johnny's idea. Once the blue shots arrive, you quickly grab one.

-Cheers for this night to be special- he screams with a deep voice, and the other 2 guys howl as response while you burst out laughing.

When you decided that the amount of alcohol on your body was enough, you took a chance to go to the beach to sing and dance to the DJ placed randomly in there.

You felt bliss, the EDM music was filling your senses, but you tried to keep your eyes full opened so you could remember the beautiful but blurry view of the sunset.

Together with your new group of friends were a mess. Jumping, screaming, raising your hands like you could touch the sky, everything seemed possible at that moment. Even dancing and getting laid with Mark.

The music had nothing to do with your plan, but you got dangerously close to him, resting your arms on his shoulders. You could see that he chuckled, tilting his head back so he could see you fully. Both of you were drunk as hell, you thought you were killing it with the flirting skills, but probably you just looked like two fools trying not to fall for the obvious drunken state you were.

-Do you wanna kiss me?- you screamed while "Jenny" sounded on the speakers. What kind of question is that?

-Sure I do- his canadian accent made you bite your lip while smiling- Can I?- his voice tried to mimic yours, but you didnt answered, it wasnt necessary.

Your lips collided as you got close at the same time, and Mark wasted no time to open his mouth and let his tongue in your wet cavity. You moaned so loud, because you knew no one could hear it but him. A fierce fight between both of your tongues started, every graze of them would make yourself wetter and wetter. He squeezed your waist and tried to keep you closer to him if it was possible, in his drunk mind he was scared you could run away from him.

Nothing about the context was romantic at all. You both physically liked eachother and just wanted to make out. No love at first sight, no kiss with fireworks behind, just pure desire.

Adrenaline rushed your body when his hands cupped your ass, that was only covered by the thin dress you decided to wear. Nobody near you could care less about what you two were doing it, but for you, everyone was looking at the show you and Mark were offering, and that obviously turned you on.

You bit Mark's lower lip, sucked on it, while opening your eyes to look directly at him. Eyes closed, he was enjoying how you toyed his lips. The hard grip on your skin, and a bulge poking your stomach made you feel powerful, you were loving the effect you caused on him.

Suddenly, an arm made you break your kiss with Mark. You lose your balance so you hug the guy that was pulling you backwards. Johnny.

-Hey, pornstars, we have some nice shit here- he pointed his hand with his eyes. You could see a tiny bag with a white dust inside. You come to your senses and look around at the crowd to try find Rosé, but it was obvious she already was under the influence. She was on Jaehyun's shoulders, enjoying the music. You sigh, chuckling at the sight of her losing her mind.

-Its my first time though- you commented while you look at Johnny spreading the dust on top of his phone screen with one hand using a credit card. You could notice he was an expert at it, you peek to see Mark right by your side looking at the manouvers as hypnotized as you. Probably it was his first time too.

You both snorted the little substance, and it sucked at first. It was so uncomfortable, but it took minutes for you to get used to that weird sensation on your nose.

You didnt even noticed when everything started to amplify. You could feel the summer breeze making its way around you, the taste of Mark's saliva still on your tongue was strong, the colorful tins of the sky while it was dusking looked so enhanced.

A hand grabbed yours, taking you out of your trance, and almost felt like an orgasm. So warm and so soft, made you wanna scream. You turned to see a fucked out Mark, studying your face with dilated pupils, he was almost as horny as you by only grabbing hands.

He caressed yours with his thumb, and it felt like he was fucking you, your body shivered at it. Mark was enjoying it too, so he brought your fingers closer to his mouth and inserted the index one inside, and started to suck on it. You moaned and felt how your pussy clenched at nothing, the saliva coating your finger felt like caramel, if you could explain the feeling.

-Mark if you keep doing that i'm gonna cum- you told him with a warning tone, he was so inmersed on sucking your finger that he jumped when you talked. He was aroused by the situation too.

He smiled with your finger still inside of his mouth, took it out, holded you by your wrist and started to run towards...

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-And we ended up here- Mark sumed up the night while you were laying on his chest, caressing it with the tip on your fingers. His, on the other hand, were playing with the locks of your hair.

-Yeah, i remember now, such a night- and then you snapped- Wait... where the fuck is...-

-Yeah, she was having a threesome with the boys. Dont worry, she was having a good time-Mark answered with a playful tone. Of course, that sounds like a very Rosé thing to do. You let out a breathy laugh.

-We could have joined...- you suggested, looking up at him. He took a few seconds to answer, while his eyes moved from one corner to the other of the ceiling, like he was evaluating that scenario.

-Yeah, and sharing? No thanks- he bit his lip and he looked at you with a greedy smile- I felt so lucky to have you screaming my name over and over-

You hit his shoulder with your fist playfully, and he took that as an answer to keep silent and just enjoy the company of the other.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

2 days went by, you get used to hang out with the boys. All kinds of crazy stuff you could imagine, you were doing it with them, and it felt like heaven. Mark couldnt keep his hands to himself and everytime he had the opportunity, he would make you cum on his fingers or mouth. And the same goes for you, too. Thanks to him, you noticed how good you are at giving blowjobs inside public restrooms.

But nothing lasts forever, sadly, and the last day of your summer vacation arrived. Rosé and you were ready to go back to Seoul, while they would be staying a little bit longer. It hurted, you got used to Mark's attention, and either him or you wanted to ask for eachothers contact. Not because of lack of interest, but because both of you thought that the other saw it as an adventure. You didn't even knew his last name.

His lips devours yours before you could get in the car that was waiting for you on the street -I wont forget you, thanks for this amazing 3 days- he smiled, a tint of sadness on his eyes. You caressed his cheek, pecking his nose, trying to hurry as much as you coulf so you wouldnt start to feel emotional.

-Y/l/n-

He looked at you clueless -What?-

-My last name is y/l/n- you smiled and without waiting for an answer, you close the door of the car.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

-Hey, hey, it's okay- typical of Rosé being so overdramatic. Sure, your finger almost got cut in half while you were trying to cook some carbonara, but it wasnt a big deal, something a few stitches couldn't fix. The only thing that kept your finger from gushing blood out was a piece of toilet paper.

-Please! My friend needs a doctor!!!!- She screamed at the top of her lungs inside the hospital.

-What happened?- a nurse hurried, worried eyes scanning you both.

-She is losing her finger!!!!- Rosé felt she was going to faint.

-Jesus, Rosé, calm down-

The nurse takes a quick look at your finger- Yeah it doesn't look that good, please follow me. You are lucky we don't have that many patients on New Years Eve-

You are guided to a tiny room full of medical stuff, probably where you are going to get your finger sticked together. It hurted as fuck, but you were trying to keep focused on something other than the pain. You looked at the desk with the computer on, and on a hidden corner you noticed a picture of 3 friends, on a place that seemed too familiar to you. Actually, the friends also seemed like an old ones you had... maybe in university? You can't quite remember.

The door opened up while you were trying to dig into your memories , and you looked at the door startled.

-So, Mrs y/n...- that voice, that motherfucking voice. A year has passed. But how the fuck you were supposed to forget it?. You felt your ears buzzing, face heating and heartbeat racing. You were losing your breath and suddenly the pain of your finger got worst and worst.

He didn't turn to look at you, just got inside by looking at his phone, and once he was sit in front of you, his facial expression dropped.

There were the both of you, looking at eachother like dumb teenagers, like your finger wasnt bleeding out, almost like you were backat that bar in Bora-bora again.

-I... uh... yeah, my finger- you stutter, pointing at it. Mark shakes his head, coming back at his professional senses.

Before the medical procedure he performed, he bandaged your finger, and wrote some medicine you had to take for the pain to go away.

-It should be okay on a few weeks, nothing to worry about- he smiled at you, trying to comfort you. You felt your heart drop when he grabbed the healthy of both of your hands and caressed your palm with his thumb, everything felt like a flashback. You looked at him with clueless eyes.

-I... uh... I should come back in a few weeks then- you stuttered, pressing your lips into a thin line while looking at him directly on his eyes. He nods.

-Lee-

You frowned -Huh?-

-My last name is Lee-

[befehlvonganzunten]

hi! i wanna learn german, but it's really hard! ☹️ do you have any tips? are there any german movies or tv shows you would recommend?

hello anon and please accept all my respect for mustering up the patience and willpower to learn my unnecessarily complicated native language ♥️

my first tip would be: don't give up! i think german is a really cool language and i guess once you're done with the basics it won't be that hard anymore. like, i'm pretty sure that there are a lot of languages that are way harder to learn than german - capitalization and weird-ass articles that make no sense be damned 😉

second tip: don't pressure yourself! it's something i had to come to terms with when i started learning english as a second language bc my inner perfectionist just wouldn't stop pestering me, so just take your time and everything will be fine. also: i am german but my german sure as hell isn't perfect. it never will be and that's totally okay!

third tip: practice makes perfect! i know that this is a very annoying phrase but it's definitely true. it's also kinda contradicting considering my second tip but that's just me being dumb 😅

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now, as for tv shows and movies: i gotta admit that i don't really watch german tv (anymore) and i have no idea what kind of stuff is popular right now, so here goes nothing 🥴

tv shows

tatort (crime/police procedural): this is the german tv show. it's been around since the 70s and almost everyone i know is obsessed with it. i personally have never watched a single episode bc crime shows aren't really my cup of tea but what's cool about this show is that there are, like, several versions of it with different casts, stories and locations, e.g. tatort münster, tatort leipzig, tatort münchen, etc. (fun fact: they even shot a tatort episode in the street where i live once.)

dark (science-fiction/mystery): haven't seen this one either but as far as i know it's quite popular outside of germany. i read the plot summary on wikipedia but i got confused, so i still have no clue what it's about 😅 oliver masucci is in it, though, and he's a very good actor.

türkisch für anfänger (comedy/coming of age): this one's a bit older but i actually did watch it a while ago and i really liked it. it's about a patchwork family in berlin, consisting of a german mom and her two kids who moves in with her turkish boyfriend who has also two kids and they all try to get along, which often leads to chaos and all kinds of hilarious situations. the cool thing is that the show doesn't make fun of either culture. it kinda plays with both german and turkish stereotypes but at the end of the day it's all about love and family and overcoming stereotypes in a healthy way. (also: elias m'barek plays one of the main characters and let me just tell you that he is one gorgeous dude.)

honourable mentions (according to the internet bc again, i don't know anything about german tv shows): how to sell drugs online (fast), 4 blocks, babylon berlin, jerks, dr psycho and the german version of the office, which is called stromberg for some reason.

movies

movies about german history and/or important events: das weiße band, der untergang, der baader-meinhof komplex, das boot, goodbye lenin!, napola, das leben der anderen, anonyma, sonnenallee, nur eine frau

others: lola rennt, das experiment, lammbock, gegen die wand, die welle, wer früher stirbt ist länger tot, who am i, victoria, aus dem nichts, toni erdmann, systemsprenger, der vorname, ich bin dein mensch

i probably forgot a few, so these are just the ones that immediately popped into my head

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welp. i hope i was able to help you in some way. anyhoo, kopf hoch und viel glück anon! ☺️

[ohdeersthings]

Love Festival

Kirishima Eijiro x F!OC

Summary: Being Fatgums adopted daughter can be challenging, especially when it comes to meeting his new interns while also having to keep watch over Eri.

Quirk: Ram

Quirk fact: Bring able to run, jump and react like a Ram, the user is able to also headbutt and cause great damage with their strength and horns. They also can digest anything like a Ram. Also has a fluffy wool tail, and a wool band around both wrists. Her legs from the waist down are ram legs, so she looks more like a Mythical Fawn.

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, enjoy!!

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"Oh hey Eraser Head! What's going on?" Fatgum answered his phone while sitting at his desk in his office at Fatgum Agency. "Fatgum, Midoriya and Togata have requested for Eri to be present at our School Festival, seeing as how Eri has bonded with Aki, do you think she'd be willing to join her on that day?" Aizawa questioned, standing outside Eri's hospital room where the young girl was currently having her lunch.

Fatgum pondered for a moment,"Well I don't see why she couldn't. I guess she could use a break too, between her assignments and being with Eri at the hospital, I'm sure she'd love it!" "Alright, I'll be sure to let the class know so they don't freak out. Speaking of, only Amajiki and the others in the Big Three have met Aki right? She was away on another assignment when Work Studies happened," Aizawa knew his students would probably freak out when seeing Eri's caregiver and friend, who was the same age as them but on a whole other level.

"You're correct, so Kirishima hasn't met her. It'll be fine though, I have full confidence that everything will be fine," Fatgum smiled into the phone, nonchalant about anything going on. "Alright, we'll discuss details later then," with that the two hung up.

~~~

"Oh hey Togata!" Midoriya called out to Togata, waving him over from where Togata was hiding behind the bush. Togata narrowed his eyes, realizing he'd been found out before he can surprise them.

The dance team looked on in surprise as Togata stuck his bottom out from the bush, Eri standing beside him looking surprised as well, "Hey guys! I brought a PEACH for ya,"

"Eri!" Midoroya called out as he, Uraraka and Tsuyu ran up to greet them. "That dress looks so cute," Tsuyu commented, "You are precious!" Uraraka gushing in fondness. The girls couldn't help the big smiles on their faces.

"Midoriya, I finally got permission from the Principle," Togata climbed out of the bush and began brushing off his pants as Aizawa spoke, "in order for her to not get stressed, we're allowing her to roam around today before the Festival, also there's someone you all need to meet as well,"

The other dance team members came forward to introduce themselves to the young girl. "Well hello there, you must be Eri, I'm Iida, nice to meet you," "Wassup I'm Mineta, man you're gonna be a looker when you're older huh~" Mineta smirked, but the young girl hid behind Togata, "I want Aki,"

The name had taken them by surprise, "Aki? Whose that?" Midoriya questioned, confusion written on the Work Study kids faces. "Oh right, you haven't met her yet. Aki is Eri's caregiver, well when she's not on Assignments for Fatgum," Togata explained, "Eri can be a little shy around new people, but her and Aki get along very well,"

"Its perfectly alright to be shy," Iida commented, softening his voice to not scare Eri further. "Let's start the tour! Aki should be here soon, so I wanna show her as much of the school as I can so she can see what we do here, you wanna come along too Midoriya?" Togata extended the offer, knowing that since Aki isn't here, Eri might be calm with Midoriya around too. "You bet!" "Hey Dance Team! New idea!" Kirishima's voice broke out, before realizing Eri was there.

"Oh hey Eri! Wait, we've never been officially introduced," Kirishima crouched down to meet Eri's gaze when another voice broke out.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, someone decided to rob a gas station on the way over and I couldn't just leave the situation," it was a soft, silky voice that came from behind Aizawa. The students all turned their attention to see a young dark skinned girl about their age.

Her hair was a dark auburn red that came to below her shoulder blades, soft waves accentuating her purple eyes that seemed to have a swirl of white in them but were framed with thin gold wired glasses. Freckles dawned her nose and cheeks that were flushed with red, giving her an innocent look. What caught their attention the most was the Ram horns that protuded from her head, her legs being Ran legs with red fur like her hair but black hooves. Her outfit consisted of a off the shoulder wool dress she seemed to be wearing that came to stop at her upper thighs, a bell was wrapped around her neck and jingled everytime she moved, of course it also brought attention to her chest that was framed by the wool.

Some of the boys blushed, and Kirishima found himself entranced by her. "Aki!" Eri exclaimed, walking over to the girl who crouched down to her height, "I missed you!" Eri reached her arms out to her, Aki smiling and welcoming the girl into her arms, "I missed you too," giving Eri a nuzzle as the girls closed their eyes and embraced eachother.

"So you're Aki! It's a pleasure to meet you!" Midoroiya smiled, the class seemingly broken from the momentary shock. "The pleasure is all mine! Thank you for what you did for Eri, I would've been on the assignment too if Papa hadn't sent me on a different one," Aki greeted, before realizing she needed to properly introduce herself.

Standing up, Eri still in her arms as she bowed, "I'm sorry! My name is Toyomitsu Aki, it's so nice to meet you all, please call me Aki!" Straightening up, Eri wrapped her arms around Aki as rested her head on Aki's shoulder.

"Wait, Toyomitsu? Why does that sound familiar?" Kirishima wondered aloud, rubbing his head as if it would bring the answer to him. "WAIT I KNOW YOU!" Midoriya yelled out, eyes growing wide as he pointed toward Aki,"YOU'RE RAM-RAM, THE YOUNGEST PERSON TO EVER BECOME A HERO, YOU'RE ALSO FATGUMS DAUGHTER!" Now the students outside all yelled in shock, "WHAT!?"

"Oops, guess the cats out of the bag," Togata laughed, Aizawa just shaking his head in embarrassment from his students. "WAIT, you're really Fatgum's daughter!? Why didn't I know this!" Kirishima cried out, his head a mess knowing the girl he found cute was actually his Mentors daughter.

"Yeah, Papa adopted me when I was a baby, I hope this doesn't affect us becoming friends?" Aki smiled nervously, her small tail twitching in anticipation. "No way! That's so cool, let's take a break everyone, it's tea time!" Mina chimed in, hoping to calm everyone down from the excitement, "There will be more time to explain later, get on with the tour, we don't have time to waste," Aizawa called out, Togata and Aki nodding as Midoriya went to go change his clothes really quick.

"So if you're Fatgums daughter, you must know Amajiki right?" Kirishima questioned, trying to push through his nerves in front of the pretty Ram girl. He was determined to get to know his Mentors daughter. "Definitely! Tama-Kun is so nice, I love going on assignments with him, especially when he shares his food with me like Papa," Aki gushed, her red cheeks getting even darker with excitement, a closed eye smile making Kirishimas cheeks match hers in color. "My name is Kirishima Eijiro, my hero name is Red Riot, I'm actually a new intern at your father's agency for my Work Study," He introduced himself, holding out a hand in greeting.

Aki's jaw dropped and sparkles seemed to erupt from no where, "NO WAY! Papa has told me all about Red Riot, your name is a play off of Crimson Riot right!? I love that, he's such an amazing Hero!" Aki rambled, Kirishima feeling himself fall even harder.

Togata chuckled and took Eri from Aki, who was so engrossed in her conversation she didn't even seem to notice the weight lifted from her arms. Eri looked between the two red heads and noticed that Aki looks so happy, like when she finds a good object to chew on, then again anything was good to chew on for Aki.

"Totally manly right! Hey, are you gonna be here for our School Festival? It'll be totally killer, we're putting on a performance!" "Of course, I'll be chapperoning Eri that day so we won't miss it," The two had seemed to have fallen into their own little world, the other students just watching in amazement.

"I don't think I've seen Kirishima this excited before," Tsuyu commented, Uraraka and Mina nodding in agreement. "Oh jeez, he's got it bad," Ojiro laughed, Mineta seething from the mouth that he didn't get to touch the pretty animal girl. "He's got what?" Shoji asked, looking to Ojiro for answers, although Hagakure answered instead, "Kirishima is totally falling for Aki! What better romance is that!? An employee and the Bosses daughter? It's so forbidden but romantic!" Hagakure couldn't contain her excitement and started to swoon, Mina grabbing her shoulders as she tries to balance her friend.

"Hey Aki! Let's get this show on the road!" Togata called out, waving his arm to grab her attention. "Oh, coming MiMi-Kun! I guess I should go, we'll talk again soon, right?" Aki questioned, taking Kirishimas hands into her own, a bright smile on her face as her eyes seemed to sparkle. Kirishima felt his face warm up, but nodded, a nervous smile on his face from how close she was,"Definitely, we can meet up sometime at the agency maybe,"

"See ya later," she giggled, walking over and taking Eri's hand into her own. Kirishima could only watch with his heart beating out of his chest as the beautiful girl left, when he felt a hand on his back slap him forward, "OH MY GOSH KIRISHIMA, YOU'RE SO LUCKY, YOU SLY THING YOU!" Mina exclaimed, repeatedly hitting him in her excitement. "Way to go dude," Ojiro laughed, the rest of the students all smiling and calling out their support for him. "Come guys this is so not manly," he whined, embarrassed having realized they watched him and Aki. Yet he smiled and couldn't help but think 'Maybe this Festival will be good,'

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Walking around the school seemed to excite Eri and Aki, both wondering how all the different classes worked and what each class would put on for the School Festival.

Meeting up with Amajiki and Hado excited Aki to the point of her having steam come out of her nose in puffs, "Tama-Kun!Nene-chan!" She called out to them, Nejire flying over in greeting as they began to discuss the beauty pagent in detail and how Nejire was going to win this year.

"Hey! Maybe you should join Aki! I bet you'd be a shoe in for runner up!!" Hado squealed, wanting the girl who was like a little sister to join in on the fun. "Oh I'd live to Nene-chan but I'm not a student here," Aki smiled, though Midoriya thought her smile seemed a little forced, "plus I wouldn't wanna ruin your chances by competing, I'll be sure to cheer you on though!" Aki grinned, giving Hado two thumbs up who returned it. Eri looking between the two and then to her hands, mimicking them but smaller, though everyone swooned.

After visiting the Support Class last, they went to Lunch Rush's in the cafeteria to give Eri somthing to eat to finalize the tour. "Well that's all of U.A!" "What did you think of our School Eri?" Midoriya questioned, Eri though looked unsure, "I..I don't know," both boys looked at eachother nervously, but Aki smiled at her which gave Eri enough courage to continue, "But I can see how hard everyone is working, so I do wanna see how it turns out," Aki gave her a grin, proud of Eri for trying to speak out more and explain her thoughts and feelings.

At the end of the day, they returned Midoriya to Heights Alliance and said goodbye. "We'll be back on the day of the festival," Togata explained, pumping his arm in excitement, "So make sure it's killer,"

As they went to leave, Aki spoke up, "I will catch up with you in a moment MiMi-Kun, I wanna ask Midoriya somthing really quick," Togata nodded and escorted Eri out.

"What is it Aki? Is everything okay?" Aki stared at him for a second, before her eyes sharpened and it made him jump back, "What is your deal with Eri? What are you hoping to gain?" "W-what?" Midoriya was taken back, 'How can such a sweet and cute girl get terrifying to quickly!?'

"You seem very focused on making her happy. Why? I don't want anyone near Eri who was bad intentions," "It's not like that! When we found Eri that first time, I was so upset we couldn't do anything. I beat myself up everytime I think about it, I wanna be a hero that saves people with a smile. But Eri hasn't smiled once, so I wanna help her smile. I wanna help her become a child again, especially after what she went through," Midoriya was firm with his answer, now staring Aki back in the eyes, hoping to show her the true meaning of his intentions.

Aki suddenly smiled, sparkles surrounding her like with Kirishima earlier, "Okie dokie. I hope your goals come true," Midoriya sweat dropped, 'How bipolar can she be?' Aki then bit her lip nervously, arms behind her back as she shuffled, "I do have one more question, more of a favor though,"

This caught him by surprise, "Sure, what is it?" Holding out a folded up paper, she asked, "Can you give this to Kiri-kun for me?" "Huh!? KIRISHIMA!?" "Y-Yes, I know this sounds silly but.. he's very cute," Aki admitted, her face turning red and her tail stub swished back and forth.

"U-uh sure, I can give this to him. Wouldn't you wanna give it to him in person though," "I-I don't know..I don't wanna over step," "Nonsense, come on,"

With that Midoriya led her inside, the rest of the class unwinding in the main sitting area, though they looked in surprise with the girl in tow with Midoriya. "Hello again!" Mina greeted, "Guys this is Toyomitsu Aki, she's Eri's caregiver," Midoriya introduced the girl, her bowing to the class with a smile.

"Hello everyone, so pleased to meet you," her smile made them all flushed, 'SO CUTE'. "So what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Jirou questioned, "I-I was hoping to speak to u-uh..Kirishima-kun," Aki was embarrassed, now noticing how many people were staring at her intensely.

"Did someone call me? Oh hey Aki! What's up?" Kirishima questioned, having just walked out of the kitchen, but smiled big when he saw the beautiful girl from this morning.

"H-hi! I just wanted to u-uh, give this to you," stumbling over her words, she tried to act relaxed but was dying on the inside and outside. "O-Oh, thanks," Kirishima blushed, taking the folded up note from her out stretched hand, when their fingers touched however they both jumped apart and their faces burned red.

Of course, Mineta took this time to try and sneak up behind the girl. Reaching his hand out to flip the bottom of her dress, mumbling on how it was so short, it'd be a crime to not go through with it. Thankfully, Kirishima took notice and pulled her to him, hardening his hand as he punched him away, "KNOCK IT OFF," He growled, holding Aki close in his left arm.

Aki shivered, noticing how his muscles squeezed her like she'd dissappear if he let her go. Tapping his chest, he realized he was holding her and jumped back, "I'm so sorry! He can just never keep his hands to himself and it'd be so unmanly if me to not step in," Kirishima freaked out, waving his hands and trying to plead his case. He froze though when Aki walked up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "It's alright, thanks for being my Hero," she winked, suddenly finding some courage in his embarrassment. "I'll see you at the festival like we talked about earlier, right?" Aki asked, let her hands rest on his chest, "U-Uh YYEaH Suree," his voice cracked, his whole mind running in auto pilot. "Awesome, I'll see you then," she turned on her hoof and began walking toward the exit, she looked over to the class in a whole and waved goodnight before exiting Heights Alliance.

A loud thud made everyone turn toward where Kirishima was, noticing he'd fallen over, his eyes swirling and a giant grin in his red face. "Aki's so cute," he chucked, Kaminari and Sero whooping for him while Iida lectured about proper PDA in the presence of others. All Kirishina knew is that the festival couldn't come soon enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the day of the festival, Aki and Eri sat in the back if a taxi has Togata sat up front and was going over the schedule for the day. "We'll catch 1-As performance, then race over to 1-B for their play, then it'll be lunch and the pagent, does that sound alright?" He turned to face the horned girls in the back, Eri's outfit was a cute red and white dress while Aki wore her usual wool dress only this time it was red to compliment her hair.

"Sounds great, we can probably catch 1-A setting up before they perform," "oo~you just wanna catch Kirishima before he performs, maybe to wish him luck~" Togata teased, Aki gritting her teeth and raising her hood, kicking him in the back if the head leaving a hoof print, "Hehe, nevermind," Togata smiled, Eri looking up at Aki, "Do you like Kirishima?" "U-uh well, I admire him so to say," Aki tripped over her words as Togata laughed at her misfortune.

Once they'd arrived at the school, Aki mentioned she was going to see Nejire before 1-A to wish her luck before she got ready.

"Nene-chan, are you in here?" Aki knocked, hearing a lot of voices from inside the dressing room. Opening the door, Aki was met with Hado, Yuyu, and a few other students. "Oh sorry, I just wanted to come wish you luck," Aki smiled, holding her hands together in front of her.

"Ram-Ram!?" The other students exclaimed, shocked that a young hero would show up here. "Oh hello! Wonderful to meet you," she bowed, greeting them as they momentarily freaked out before bowing back.

"Hey hey! What're you doing here Aki? Where's Eri? Or Togata?" "They went to go see 1-A real quick, I was about to go see them, just wanted to see you first," Aki sheepishly explained, Testutestu suddenly appeared in front of the girls face making her lean back in surprise.

"Wait a second are you that girl Kirishima is always talking about!? The pretty red haired Ram girl that is Fatgums daughter!" Aki flushed hearing the red haired boys name.

"Well it's nice to know he thinks of me," she said happily, before looking at the clock, "I've gotta go, I hope everything goes good for you girls!" She cheered, waving as she walked out leaving the others stunned, "Why does Kirishima always get the good opportunities," Testutestu cried out, falling to his knees depressed that a beautiful girl like that was already taken by Kirishima.

~~~

"Hey! I'm not too late am I?" Aki called out, running up to the 1-A group. "Oh Ram-Ram! Welcome," Yamomo greeted, fiddling with her keyboard to make sure it was on the right setting. "We've still got about twenty minutes until we go on, Midoriya should've been back by now, he went to go get rope earlier," Kirishima mentioned, cheeks going a light pink at facing Aki again.

"Well I'm sure it'll be amazing, are you doing special affects?" Aki questioned, leaning close into Kirishimas personal space, "Y-Yeah, I hope you'll enjoy them," he smiled, running a hand through his hair. "HEY SHITTY HAIR, LETS GO WE AINT GOT ALL DAY!" Bakugou yelled out then realized Kirishima was talking to a girl.

"Hey Sheep Ass! What're you doing in here?! Don't be trying to pull anything dammit," Bakugou seethed, his teeth gritting together in annoyance of a new person.

"I was just wishing you guys luck," Aki began to ring her hands nervously, "Well we don't need luck! We'll kick ass either way dammit!" Bakugou exclaimed, getting in her face. Aki decided he needed to calm down and quit yelling.

Ramming her head into his stomach, Bakugou lurched forward coughing as he fell to the ground holding his stomach,"Damn Ram Bitch. What the fuck was that for," he gasped, rolling around on the floor in pain. "I didn't appreciate you being in my face," she calmly spoke, turning to Kirishima again who looked at her in awe at her strength.

"I'll leave you to it, you'll do amazing," her lips pressed to his cheek again, although this time they grazed the corner of his mouth slightly. Giggling she turned and left the room.

Silence ticked by for a second before Kirishima belted out, "GUYS THIS HAS TO BE AMAZING, TOP NOTCH MANLY," He hardened up without knowing, the others in the class around him sweat dropping at the sudden mood change.

~~~

As the curtains opened and a deafening explosion happened, Aki smiled as Jirou started her song, the dancers and musicians knocking it out of the ball park all at once.

The beat had Aki dancing in place, Togata laughing at her as Eri watched in surprise of Midoroiya dancing, well at least until he went off stage for some reason. "He left," "He'll be back, let's keep watching," Togata assured her, the music still blaring into their ears.

The song kept continuing to grow in progress when all of a sudden a lot of special effects went off, Uraraka swinging out to the crowd and lifting some audience members off the ground, one of them being Aki who laughed and brought Eri with her who couldn't hold it in any longer, throwing her arms out and laughing, a giant smile on her face. Aki and Togata had tears in their eyes as they smiled, knowing this young girl had finally broken free from her shackles of a pervious life. Aki hugged her tight before spinning in a circle with her, both girls laughing together in glee as Togata cheered them on. The song came to an end as the audience screamed and cheered, Aki and Eri now holding onto Togata as the three of them embraced in a hug. Eri had finally smiled and it made the two older ones warm with happiness.

As the gym filled out, the three met up with Midoriya on his way back in, Togata congratulating him on a job well done. "It was so crazy! First there was a loud sound and it was scary, but then everyone started jumping, even Aki was dancing and then Deku you went away for a little bit. But then there was a spinning guy and it started to get cold and I saw a lot of birds and people went "Wow" and you know what I said? Wow too!" Eri rambled on, her arms being thrown everywhere in excitement as Togata and Aki copied her from her side. "It was so much fun! Especially when Aki flew in the air with me and we danced," Eri stopped when she noticed Midioriya getting tears in his eyes, "I'm so glad you had fun Eri," this caused Eri to smile wide at him, Aki not able to hold it in anymore and swooped her up, spinning in circles as both girls laughed together. The boys looking on with their own smiles.

Heading outside, they met up with some of the boys that were melting the ice. "Ah dang this ice is too big, hey Bakugou can you-" "Kick Force!" A voice cut off Kaminari as a blur of red jumped in the air and came down on the giant block of ice, breaking it into little pieces. "Whoa!" Peoole passing by stopped and stared, Aki standing up and fixing her glasses. "Is this okay?" She asked, tilting her head with a smile.

"Hey its Ram-Ram!" "I didn't know she'd be here!" "She's so cute!" Voices came from behind her, causing her to turn over her shoulder and smile at the students and give a wave causing them all to flush red from the adorableness.

"Hey Aki! How'd you like the show?" Kirishima asked, hands on his hips, but he quickly put them put to catch Aki who jumped at him, landing in his arms as hers went around his neck that was turning red, "It was so amazing! The lighting, the music, the dancing, it was so beautiful! The affects were so awesome too! It was a rush of adrenaline for sure," Aki couldn't help but gush over the performance, Kirishima grinning and twirled her around, cheeks still flushed, "THAT'S GREAT! I'm so glad you guys enjoyed it! I did happen to catch you dancing a few moves too," he winked, catching her off guard but she laughed and nodded, finally getting set back in the ground.

Togata watched for a second before smirking, "You know we still have about two hours or so before the pagent, why don't you show Aki the rest of the festival Kirishima!" Aki and Kirishima turned bright red, but both agreed to it as the rest of the class came out to begin their own sight seeing if the festival too. Kirishima grabbed Aki's hand and began to drag her out of sight, she looked back over her shoulder to see Togata and Eri waving to her, both smiling as she disappeared from sight.

Both red heads walked around, looking at all the different food vendors and games, before coming upon the High Striker game, where you bring the hammer down to ring the bell and win a prize. They went to walk past it before Aki noticed fluffy Ram and Shark plushies. Kirishima looked to her and then the prizes before waking up to the student running it. "Hey dude! What do you have to do to win those two?" Pointing to the plushies Aki was eyeing. "You've gotta ring the high bell, you only get one try though," the student informed, gesturing to the tallest one they had which looked to be about fifty feet high. Kirishima grabbed the hammer, Aki stopping him momentarily, "You don't have to do that Kiri-Kun" she informed, but he shook his head, "It wouldn't be very manly of me to not win a pretty girl the plushies she wants, so just sit back and watch," he grinned at her before turning his attention to the game in front of him. He hardened his body as he swung the hammer up and brought it down full force, the little rod shooting straight up and knocking into the bell, denting it but ringing it nonetheless.

Aki cheered in amazement as Kirishima was handed the two plushies, the student behind the counter complaining to himself about needing a new bell now. Aki was handed both but then looked to Kirishima and handed him back the Ram one. "Seems only fair you get one too, right," she giggled, Kirishima smiling and nodding, taking Aki's free hand into his again as they continued down the path. Both could agree that this was probably the best day ever.

~~~

Standing at the gate to see the three off, Aki and Kirishima stared at each other for a minute before smiling softly to one another. "I'm glad you could join us, maybe you can come back another time?" Kirishima asked, hopeful he'd get to see her again, preferably outside of Work Studies and School. "Mmm, I don't know. I have my assignments and taking care of Eri too," Aki admitted, her purple eyes staring into his Ruby red eyes that were full of hope.

"Actually, I guess it's alright to tell you that you'll be seeing everyone alot more. We're planning on moving Eri into the dorms here, to keep a better eye on her and her progress with her quirk. Of course, her care taker is gonna have to be with her," Aizawas voice cut in, making both teens turn toward him in shock before turning back to each other.

Kirishima whooped and picked up Aki, spinning her around as they both laughed, setting her back in the ground, he blurted out, "Would you like to go out sometime?!" He realized what he said and burned red, but kept his eyes trained on her shocked face but she soon smiled shyly and nodded, "I'd love to, maybe you can show me a nice Cafe around here?" She asked, Kirishima nodding as he took out his phone to get her number so they can plan it for the day she comes back.

Aizawa and Togata watched the two as Midoriya and Eri said goodbye a little ways to the side, "I'm gonna regret this aren't I," Aizawa sighed, feeling the need to go to bed after such a long day, "Awe come on Eraser Head, it's cute," Aizawa merely shook his head, turning to walk off, "Some School Festival this turned out be," Togata only laughed and called out, "I'm pretty sure you mean Love Festival!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hiiiii. Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts! I know some people don't like OCs that much but I thought I'd give it a try.

😛😘❤

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Richard Kruspe interview 'Welt' 2009

By Laura Ewert.

Some of the usual stuff (Richard's difficulty with dealing with the Rammstein democracy, this-record-is-the-last, being happy vs being meaningful, the 'old marriage' comparison) but i liked the part about the orginal lyrics of Pussy being too 'platt' which translates to 'flat' or 'uninspired' and they changed it to insert a bit of humor into it, because even though it must exhausting for the band themselves, i think the qualitycontrol within Rammstein is a good thing really.

(also, i think Richard got a bit annoyed with the interviewer, which i can understand.. 😇)

English translation:

"Rammstein are too smart to be right-wing"

They are Germany's most successful rock group. On the new album "Liebe ist für alle da", Rammstein, as usual, played the bugbear. WELT ONLINE spoke to their guitarist Richard Kruspe about porn, national symbols and the imminent end of the band.

Black hair, heavy rings, black-rimmed eyes - Richard Kruspe looks exactly as one had always imagined a Rammstein member to look. The 42-year-old sits at a large table in a room of the Universal record company in Berlin, smokes and smiles friendly. The discussion again can start: Are Rammstein dangerous provocateurs or ingenious creators of their total work of art?

WELT ONLINE: Mr. Kruspe, the current Rammstein single "Pussy" entered the German charts at number one. Despite a video that cannot be shown uncensored on television.

Richard Kruspe: Any other band would have said: We can't make a porn, it'll never be shown on music television. I heard that over two million people saw it in two weeks like this. So there are other ways too, you don't always have to bend. "Pussy" is very independent compared to the other songs on the album. Our singer Till initially only wrote the text in English and I thought it was borderline at first.

WELT ONLINE: In terms of content?

Kruspe: Yes, in terms of content. It was just too much. There is a certain kind of humor that I find good, but there are limits. Then at the request of the band Till wrote the German verses. In that way the text got a humorous touch that I can live with. It's not exactly what I define as Rammstein, but Rammstein simply is a mix of six different people.

WELT ONLINE: Who actually had the idea for the porn video?

Kruspe: We asked the director Jonas Åkerlund. He listened to the song and after three hours wrote an email back: "Let's start a revolution, let's do a porn". All you could see on the faces of the band members was a big grin.

WELT ONLINE: But you have had yourself doubled?

Kruspe: Well, that's the big question. It doesn't matter. It was a nice challenge. I always thought the porn business was dirty and cold, but it's not at all. All the people there were extremely friendly and very accommodating.

WELT ONLINE: The text is not particularly friendly and accommodating.

Kruspe: I cannot and will not say anything about the text. I am not the text writer.

WELT ONLINE: But you said earlier that the first text version of "Pussy" was a bit too much for you.

Kruspe: No, it wasn't too much for me. It was just too uninspired for me. The German verses gave it a certain sense of humor that I can support.

WELT ONLINE: It is said that this text should be understood as a criticism of German sex tourists.

Kruspe: If you see it that way.

WELT ONLINE: I don't see it that way. But can you tell me what your understanding of the text is?

Kruspe: For me it's a party song, nothing more and nothing less.

WELT ONLINE: The line "Put bratwurst in your sauerkraut" is excellent to roar along to when drunk.

Kruspe: I think that's extremely funny.

WELT ONLINE: What about those who don't understand this humor? Drunken hordes of men on the way to the "Blitzkrieg with the meat gun"?

Kruspe: There is aggression in every society. They are acted out differently. My children, who are 17 and 18, don't do that. The only thing I can do is make sure things are different in my small circle. But when you start thinking about these things as an artist, you start limiting yourself. But I have a problem with censoring myself. I grew up in a system where I was constantly censored.

WELT ONLINE: Doesn't the question of responsibility arise?

Kruspe: I'm not someone who goes out with a raised finger and says: That's how you have to do it. We never did that.

WELT ONLINE: But don't you also say that you want to criticize something by exaggerating social situations?

Kruspe: Yes, you could say that. But that still doesn't mean that we tell people how to live. Everyone is responsible for their own life. Everyone has to have their own experiences in order to learn from them. We are not the Messiah.

WELT ONLINE: So is your music just acting out your own personalities?

Kruspe: When making music, of course, a dynamic of its own develops that you have to live with. These are things that cannot be influenced.

WELT ONLINE: The cover of your album is reminiscent of paintings by Rembrandt.

Kruspe: Hieronymus Bosch is a better comparison. The cover was created in collaboration with a Spanish artist who just tried things. Journalists are always entitled to question the meaning. But good things happen out of a certain naivety.

WELT ONLINE: What is that metal toothed monster up there on the cover on the right?

Kruspe: It should be some kind of alien. I already forgot. It was pretty good what the artist had thought out. Some kind of alien that eats up all consumption. Very philosophical what he has built there.

WELT ONLINE: And the naked woman lying on the table has her hands chopped off, right?

Kruspe: Yes, but that shouldn't be taken literally, in the sense that a woman is being massacred.

WELT ONLINE: It looks like an offering.

Kruspe: I see more the abysses of this world in the picture.

WELT ONLINE: Next to the woman on the table are two men closing their pants. Are you one of them?

Kruspe: No, I am not.

WELT ONLINE: It's a rape scene really, isn't it?

Kruspe: If you want to see it that way. I always find art interesting when it leaves things open.

WELT ONLINE: Let's come back to ...

Kruspe: ... to the difficult questions? Don't you have something else to talk about? Something nice? About life?

WELT ONLINE: I still have one question about the record.

Kruspe: Okay, one more.

WELT ONLINE: You are clearly using national symbols. Be it the German flag, the desk reminiscent of pictures of Hitler's speeches ...

Kruspe: Yes, but in a very humorous way. "I can't get laid in Germany" is very funny.

WELT ONLINE: Well I don't think you're right-wing.

Kruspe: No, we're too smart for that (laughs).

WELT ONLINE: Why does sex always have to do with fighting and war in your songs?

Kruspe: For me, sex always has to do with passion. I am a romantic. On the other hand, I like it dramatic. We'd have to go back a long way to my childhood to see what might have gone wrong. I believe that musicians more or less unconsciously always bring things across in a dramatic and painful way. At least that is how it has to be for Rammstein.

WELT ONLINE: Are you a believer?

Kruspe: Religious? No. I believe in justice.

WELT ONLINE: A justice that arises out of the human being, or one that is imposed from outside?

Kruspe: I think there is an idea. Some say this is God. Before things are done or before they arise, there was always an idea from which there is also a sense of justice. Do you understand? I believe that it is important in life to be punished for certain things. I believe in the fate principle and the karma principle.

WELT ONLINE: But if there is this punishment, won't Rammstein face a hefty punishment?

Kruspe: We only speak out what is reality or what is part of society. The Church used to say what is good and what is bad. That's bullshit. Just because someone has a sexual orientation that the Church classifies as evil doesn't mean it is wrong. On the contrary.

WELT ONLINE: Does "love is there for everyone" also mean that any form of sexual love, including that which is socially ostracized, is a part of humanity?

Kruspe: "Love is there for everyone" is a very Christian thought. Of course you have to ask yourself, is love really there for everyone? I would wish it to be that way. Can we forgive those who misunderstood love? I often think about it and fail and get a little further and go back again. Especially when you turn 40. A lot happens there. Especially with men.

WELT ONLINE: Yes? What?

Kruspe: For me there are two options in life. Be happy or be meaningful. And as a musician you naturally try to lead a meaningful life. The big problem with me is that my longing for happiness is great, but the strength I need to be creative comes from suffering. Even if you do not suffer, you try to bring it into your life somehow in order to be able to create again. A cycle. If I were happy I'd know I would never write again. I tried to find happiness outside of myself. And now at 40 there comes the point where you try to find something inside me that makes you happy.

WELT ONLINE: Can't you catch the creative moments by now?

Kruspe: I used to try drugs. I used cocaine a lot. You reach dimensions that you would otherwise never be able to reach. You can edit a kick drum for eight hours. This creative power comes to me in different moments. It's buzzing in the air and the only thing you can do is be open. And then the moment is gone again. As if a cloud is passing by and you reach for it and then wait for the next cloud.

WELT ONLINE: One hears that the current record could be the last of the band. Is Rammstein going to dissolve?

Kruspe: At the moment I couldn't imagine going back to the studio with the experiences of the last record. But I could imagine touring further. In a band you're trapped in an image. It's like a soap opera that never ends. You have your character and you play it. And then this Rammstein democracy. We have discussions every day. Everything is talked about and talked about. And voted. In a band you don't have that kind of sexual discharge that you would have in a relationship. It's like a long marriage with us. You just don't like to sleep together that much anymore.

[gayger]

"Summer in Konoha was ending and it was ending fast. With the end of that came the beginning of the end of Sakura's journey in high school. While it wasn't too rambunctious or anything of the sort, Sakura did have one regret: a high school sweet-heart. She didn't get to experience that all encompassing adoration being shown in the school halls, being yelled at by teachers for showing pda, or even the awkwardness of a first kiss. A part of her longed for that feeling - for that experience.

Those thoughts penetrated her mind as her eyes bore outside of her window, over at the open water of the ocean. Sighing, she dares to look away for a second and to her journal on her desk.

'Sakura's Dream Book!'

She smiles softly. She definitely got to cross off some of those dreams, though she wasn't sure they were the ones that she found of importance now.

Knock, knock!

"Sakura! Hey, Sakura!"

Sakura sighs, looking over at her window where one of her best friends was waiting outside patiently, perched up on the old oak tree that was beside her bedroom window.

Making her way over to him, she scowls at him slightly. Why couldn't the blond just knock on the front door like a normal person? Opening the window, big and honest blue eyes stared into hers excitedly.

"Did you forget? We're going to the beach today!" He shouts, a grin on his face. Taking in his tan sleeveless top and neon orange swim-trunks, she could only smile good naturedly. She forgot how much he was looking forward to this.

"I didn't forget, you're just early," she says as she shakes her head. "Go back down the tree and I'll get ready." Sakura pauses before she turns away, giving him a serious and dangerous look. "And Naruto?"

He gulps slightly, knowing what she was probably going to say. "Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"Don't even think about peeking or you are dead meat." She smiles sweetly, flexing her knuckles slightly. Naruto nods quickly, repeating a mantra of "Of course, anything for you - not that I was going to peek because that would be creepy!" And other things of that sort.

Eventually he had made his way down and she could hear a few of her other friends yell "Watch it!" and "Don't fall, you idiot!"

She laughs softly before getting ready.

Her highschool life may not have been everything she had hoped or wanted, but at the very least she had gotten through it with some of the best people.

~ ` ~ ` ~

"Mom! I'm heading out with some friends, we're going to the beach!" Sakura shouts, opening the front door and not stepping out until she hears her mothers resounding "Okay, be careful!"

"It's about time, forehead," snarks her other best friend. Sakura's eyebrow twitches, but she ignores the pretty blonde's snarky remark anyway. "Are we all ready to go?" She asks, a smile on her face as she adjusts her bag. It isn't like the walk is very far, it's pretty much just across the street so if they did forget something, her house was just right there. Pretty convenient if she's honest.

As they start walking, Sakura can't help but notice that a little ways down the street there was a movers vehicle in front of a big house.

"Hey! Someones moving into old man Madara's house!" Shouted Naruto, apparently spotting the same thing that she did. "Yeah, I guess so," Sakura hums out. She wonders if they were family members of Madara's or if it was simply sold. He passed away about a year or so ago, so it has been vacant for awhile now. Whoever it was, she hoped that they enjoyed living there. It was a beautiful house, Sakura had to admit.

While she was gawking at the house, her other best friend, Ino, let out a squeal.

Plugging one ear with her finger, Sakura gives her a look. "What the hell, Ino-pig?"

"Oh, come on. You aren't telling me that that super perceptive eye of yours didn't notice the really cute guy over there?" Ino swoons, "I hope he's single." Sakura rolls her eyes, but decides to take a look at who she could only assume Ino is talking about. It was just her luck that when she did, he decided to look over in their direction as well.

Her heart pounds and her cheeks flush slightly when he smirks at her and winks. "Ino, oh my god.. He saw me look - I'm screwed!" Sakura whispers quickly, pointedly looking away. The blonde could only laugh at her friend's predicament. It was just like Sakura to be put in a situation like that.

"I don't understand what the big deal is," Naruto says with a confused look. "I mean, he's super pale and his hair looks like a duck's ass."

"Nice one, Naruto," Kiba snorts, high-fiving him.

Feeling pretty embarrassed, Sakura just quickly starts walking towards the beach again - to their usual spot. Ino gave one last look in the mysterious and handsome boys direction before following her. "Hey, wait up!"

The two boys were left to follow once they were done laughing.

"So, why couldn't Hinata come?" Sakura asks as she lays out her beach towel next to Ino's. The blonde sat down, digging through her bag while answering, "Her father said that they were having family coming into town. She probably won't be able to hang out with us for awhile, from the sound of it."

Sakura juts out her lip slightly, "That sucks. She's really good at keeping Naruto calm."

"Yeah, I know - but, hey," Ino grins, "You've got me. I'm sure we can handle these two morons on our own for awhile." Both teens laugh, stretching their legs out as they applied sunscreen.

Off in the distance, Sakura noticed Naruto and Kiba going ahead into the water with no hint of sunscreen at all. She shakes her head, willing herself to not think about the atrocious sunburn both boys would be sporting later on today.

"Can you believe we are going to be seniors this year?" Ino says off-handedly, moving her blonde bangs away and behind her ear. "I feel like it was just yesterday that we were in middle school fawning over the band Akatsuki."

Sakura nods in agreement, "I know. It's honestly crazy but.." She trails off, a troubled look on her face as she recalls her journal. "I feel like it all went too fast. I didn't cover nearly all of the bases that I wanted to."

"You mean from your journal?" Ino questioned, looking at Sakura in interest. "What was left unchecked? I'm pretty sure you made it your mission to have everything done and dealt with. I mean, you have been the top of our class and our student body leader practically every year."

Sakura's cheeks turn slightly red as she looks away from Ino, hurriedly standing up. "It's.. Just stupid stuff, you wouldn't understand!" She says quickly, trying to exit the question. She practically runs to the water, Ino following after her trying to protest the abrupt end to their conversation.

As soon as the cool water reached across her feet, Sakura let out a soft sigh. She slowly walks out deeper until she's about knee deep, letting her head fall back as she relishes in the feeling of the cool water. Sakura loves the ocean. It was her calm, it was her escape. She can't count how many times she came out here just to wade in the water whenever she was troubled.

Off in the distance, Sakura could see Naruto on his surfboard riding the waves. The guy was a total goofball, but she had to admit that he was one of the best surfers at their high school. He genuinely enjoyed it. It was the only thing (other than the lovely Hinata) that he would give 100% his focus.

"Hey, Forehead. You can't just take off like that," Ino shouts with a scowl on her face as she finished tying her long hair into a bun on top. "Why wouldn't I understand anyway? We've had many of the same experiences, I don't think there is much that I have done that you haven't."

"You would be surprised, but even so.." Sakura sticks out her tongue at her, "You will never know."

"Fine!" Ino pouts, "Be like that."

Sakura laughs, shaking her head and Ino joins in. She really was her best friend.

~ ` ~ ` ~

A few hours later, the four teens are all sprawled out on their beach towels laughing.

"I can't believe you wiped out just right after you were boasting about how you are the best," Kiba howls.

Naruto scowls, shaking his fist at Kiba in protest. "Hey! It happens - you wiped out way more than I did today, anyway dog-breath!" But even with the name calling, he too cracked a grin.

Sakura only watched with a fond smile on her lips. She looks up at the sky, noting that it would be dinner time soon.

"We should probably get going soon," She hums out. She lived just across the road, but she knew that Ino lived quite a walk away and she didn't want her walking in the dark. She knows that Naruto lives a block away from her and would walk her home if it did get dark, but Sakura would rather be safe than sorry.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm beat!" Ino yawns, covering her mouth in the process. Despite all of the sunscreen she plastered on, the blonde was still beyond burnt. Sakura could only imagine the horrified look on her friend's face when she looked in the mirror later.

"But, but-" Naruto pouts, hanging his head. "We've barely seen each other the last few days."

"Hey, Naruto, look at me." Sakura sighed, shaking her head fondly. "How about we all have a sleepover tomorrow night, okay? Then we can all spend plenty of time together."

He immediately perked up, but Kiba rubbed at his hair some in thought. "I wish I could, but Akamaru is going to the vet tomorrow. He's going to need me all night." Naruto gives him a disbelieving look but Kiba quickly waves his hands. "Don't give me that look! You know how much of a baby he is."

"Well, whatever the case may be.. I will be there and I'm sure Shikamaru and Ten Ten would be down to go, too. Ten Ten especially, she was really upset that she hasn't been able to spend so much time with us because of college and her job."

"Sounds like a plan, then." Sakura says, clapping her hands.

Heading towards the sidewalk, Sakura slings her bag over her shoulder. She's chatting away with Ino when she hears him.

"Hey."

Ino nudges her slightly, shutting the pinkette up for a moment and pointing in the direction of the voice. "Is he talking to me or you?" She asks, softly, before putting on a big and flirtatious smile.

"Hey yourself, I'm Ino," she introduces herself while holding out her hand.

The black eyes of the boy from down the street doesn't even spare Ino a glance, instead focusing on Sakura's own emerald orbs.

"I was hoping I'd catch you, I'm Sasuke." He introduces himself, giving her a small smirk and offering up his hand. Ino huffs but looks Sakura over and notices her red face. Sighing, she nudges her in the small of her back trying to get the pink haired teen back on track from her short circuit.

"I'm, uh, Sakura." She finally says, lamely, while holding out her hand. He takes it and she goes to shake, but instead he bows down and brings her knuckles up.. And he presses a small, light kiss.

Sakura could have fainted and Ino picked the worst time to pat her on the shoulder, "Well Saks, I'm gonna go ahead and head home. Text me, okay?" Before the blonde bounds off, waving cheerily.

Sakura retracts her hand, trying to regain focus, not even registering that her friend left her.

"Well," Sasuke pauses watching her face as he spoke, "I was hoping that I could maybe get your number and perhaps an agreement to meet me tomorrow?" Sakura couldn't believe her ears. For once, in her life, a cute guy was asking her and not Ino or hell, even her asking him.

"Uh, um.. Sure," she says as she pulls out her phone. She fumbles with it slightly nearly dropping it which draws a laugh from him as he effortlessly pulls his own phone from his pocket. She was starting to feel bad for all of the times Hinata has gotten nervous or messed up in front of Naruto or anyone, really. "Here," she says as she hands him her phone and his in return. They place their numbers in and once done, he gives her a cool smile.

"Alright then, I will talk to you later, Sa-ku-ra."

"R..Right," she says softly as she waves bye and he turns to leave. After he's long gone, she just stands there kind of dumbly. She couldn't believe that really happened but her mother opened the door to their house and shouted "Sakura, stop standing there like a dumbass and get inside!"

Snapping out of it, she immediately crosses the street to enter the house.

"Why were you just standing out there?" Her mother asks, shutting the door behind her. Sakura smiled sheepishly, tightening her hold on her bag.

"I was talking to someone and I was just lost in thought. No biggie, really."

"Talking to someone?" Her mother questions and Sakura nods, starting to head up the stairs.

"Yeah! But it was no one important, honest!"

Mrs. Haruno was unconvinced but let her go up the stairs. She was sure she would be able to get some information from Ino if needed.

Plopping down on her bed, her bag on the floor, she lets out a sigh. That really just happened. Pulling her phone up to her face, she notices that she has two messages. One from Ino and the other… from him.

Her face slightly pink, she opens up the one from her friend first.

From: Miss Piggy

Subject: Duckbutt

To: Billboard

Girl, you better tell me all of

the deets! Not a single bit of

information left out (6 p.m.)

Sakura snorts at the subject line. She figured that the comment Naruto made will not be forgotten anytime soon - especially since he was right, to a degree. Quickly, she writes out a response before opening the message from Sasuke.

From: Sasuke Uchiha

Subject: Meeting

To: Sakura

How about tomorrow at the ice

-cream parlor up the street at 1?

(6:10 p.m.)

Sakura thinks to herself quietly, trying to map out a time-line for tomorrow. She knows tomorrow that it is the sleepover which means most of them will be coming around 4 or 5, but she also knows that Ino likes to get a head start above everyone else which means she could pop in at any time.. This was tricky, but maybe she could time it just right. Besides, it's just for ice cream. It's not like they are going to be there for hours.

Quickly, she types out "Sure! Sounds great :)".

She deletes the smiley face a couple of times, but at some point she accidentally sent the message while it was on there. Innerly she cursed herself, but what could she do? It already sent.

"Honey?" Sakura's father knocks on the door, opening it up. He was finally home and Sakura couldn't help but smile as she stood up from her bed. "Dinner is ready, come eat."

"Coming!" Sakura says cheerily, meeting her father to walk down the stairs.

Her father worked in the oil field, so he was only home one or two weeks out of a month. So family dinners were precious to her heart. She just wished he was home more, but she understood why he chose that field. While it wasn't reliable, it paid pretty decently. It paid the bills and allowed them some luxuries. One of those being Sakura's growing college fund. It is because of this that Sakura felt a little more pressured to make sure she succeeded and did something worthwhile. She didn't want all of his hard earned money to go to waste.

She just hoped it wouldn't be for nothing.

~ ` ~ ` ~

Sakura knew what she was expecting to see when she woke up in the morning. The very same view that greets her every morning: her ceiling with her stars and solar system stickers. Instead, she got bright blue eyes staring her in her soul and a cage made from blonde hair. Accompanied by a headache, of course, because why would Ino do anything quietly?

"Get your lazy ass up, forehead!" Ino yells, hands on her hips as she pulls back from her face.

Sakura groans, rolling around onto her side and stuffing her pillow onto her head. "Go away."

Ino tsks and the only thing running through Sakura's head is shit. Ino grabs a hold of her foot and yanks as hard as she could, dumping Sakura on the floor by her bed. Sakura glares up at the blonde, scowling. She was having a good dream.

"Damn, it is never this hard to get you up. You're usually up before sunrise to watch it," Ino mumbles out. Sakura blushes, shaking her head. Ino didn't need to know that she stayed up practically all night with anxiety as an obnoxious bubble in her chest.

"Sorry," Sakura mumbles nonchalantly while her eyes look for her clock. Her eyes widen when she realizes it says 12 p.m. Hurriedly, she scrambles up, panic clear on her face.

"Woah there, what has got you so eager to get up all of a sudden?" Ino questions, eyebrow raised as she watches the pinkette hurry to her closet and pull out outfit after outfit. Then it clicked. "Oh. My. God!" She squeals before enveloping Sakura into a tight hug. "You're going to meet him aren't you?! That's why you were acting all weird last night when I was trying to see when I could come over!"

Sakura's face is bright red and she taps her arms to get her to let go. "Fine, yes. We are supposed to meet at the ice cream parlor at 1."

"Then there is no time to waste! Here, let me help!"

~ ` ~ ` ~

It took a matter of 30 minutes, but Sakura was well on her way down to the ice cream parlor. She didn't want to run because she could just hear Ino griping in her head about how her 'perfect' work would be absolutely ruined. Nervously, Sakura tucks a loose strand behind her ear. The parlor comes into view and she quickens her steps, grateful that she opted for simple sandals that fit her comfortably instead of Ino's bright idea which was heels. Her feet would be killing her, she is not like Ino who could dead-sprint in stilettos.

She could see him outside of the parlor, leaning against the wall. His eyes catch hers and her heartbeat quickens as her cheeks flush. Sakura stops in front of him and he gives her a small smile.

"Hey," he says and Sakura's genius murmurs a quiet, "Hi."

Sakura looks anywhere but him for the simple reason she felt very self conscious, but it all stopped momentarily when he offers her his hand and he leads her inside the parlor.

"What kind of icecream do you like?" He asks her as they approach the cashier to order. Sakura hums, thinking, and she smiles before answering: "chocolate as of right now."

Sasuke laughs quietly, "As of right now?" He questions and looks at her amusedly.

"It changes," she supplies before looking up at him, "How about yours?"

"Strawberry."

They didn't stay at the parlor long, instead they found themselves at the beach. They walked along the waves, Sakura's sandals in one hand and the other hand locked with his. The sunlight against their skin was refreshing and added to the warmth of the situation, the wind carrying her laughter as they talked.

"So.." Sakura trails off, her eyes slowly looking up towards his, "What brought you and your family here?"

"My great uncle left it to my brother Itachi in his will, but it's a big house and he wanted to share it with the rest of us." Sakura hums, watching the brief coldness flash in his eyes when he mentioned his brother. She didn't question it, this date… Was that what it was? This date was going well and she didn't want to ruin it by prying into his family life.

"I had no idea he had any relatives, if I'm honest," Sakura says thoughtfully and smiles. "But, I'm happy to find that he did. My friends and I made it a habit to drop gifts and say hi during holidays." Sakura rambles, leaving out the 'because he seemed so lonely' due to her not wanting to offend him.

"Yeah.. He wasn't much for big family gatherings."Sasuke shrugs and then looks down at her, taking in the way the sun brought out the many different shades of greens and spots of blue in her eyes.

"You have very pretty eyes."

She blushes, looking away. "Thank you," she says softly and can feel her chin being lifted up by him. His gaze was heavy and the world stopped around her, nothing but their breathing and her heart beating ferociously could be heard with the gentle lullaby of waves.

"Don't look away from me, Sa-ku-ra." His thumb gently rubs against her cheek and she half expects him to kiss her but instead, he drops his hand and re-takes her hand in his.

"Shall I walk you home?"

Her mind is blank and it takes a minute for what he said to process. A little bit of disappointment bubbles in her, a fear that maybe she said something wrong. "Oh, uh, sure," she says softly and she guides him to her home which is across the street.

Once they arrive, she lets go of his hand and fidgets, unsure of what to do now. Sighing, she looks down at her feet before slowly looking up at him. "Look, I'm sorry if I said something wrong-" Her words die on her tongue because he does something so unexpected and peculiar.

He poked her forehead with his index and middle finger, effectively catching her off guard.

"I had fun, Sa-ku-ra," he removes his fingers and Sakura watches, dumbfounded. "Let's do it again sometime."

"Okay," she replies and a pretty blush forms on her cheeks, she shyly watches him leave with a small smile on her face.

She turns around and briefly catches blue eyes peeking through the blinds of the living room window and she sighs, shaking her head. Of course she would get no privacy.

Stepping inside the house, she is greeted by her mother and Ino laughing obnoxiously on the couch. Not at all suspicious. Sakura places her hand on her hip, looking at them expectantly.

"Did you guys sate your curiosity looking outside the window?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," her mother states innocently before her expression turns devilish. "Buuuutttt, since you're here. Mind sharing the details?"

Sighing, Sakura gives in and decides to tell them about everything - with the exception of what happened near her front door. That, she had decided, would stay secret for her sake. Or as secret as it could, considering she was being watched the entire time they were out there."

- "A Proclivity for Love" chapter one.

Want to read more?

You can find it on AO3 and Fanfiction,net. There are 23 chapters!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13822288/1/A-Proclivity-for-Love

[creepypocky]

Hello dear! May I have a romantic and Nsfw creepypasta match-up please? Feel free to ignore this if they are closed but if you do choose to do this then thank you so much! I hope you have a great day/night!

Zodiac sign: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality Type: ENTP

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Straight (For now might be bi but i'm going with straight)

I'm 5'4 and I have a very tiny body frame so i'm extremely petite and pretty small. I'm not very curvy and I literally have the body of a cereal box...lol but its fine because I have nice hips and thighs. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my back and it gets tangled pretty easily but its kinda fluffy. I have brown eyes and tiny freckles all over my face and body. I also have a very strong grunge style, like Flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots, leather jackets etc. But i'd also always enjoy a nice oversized sweatshirt or hoodie with a pair of skinny, ripped jeans and some converses or something along those lines.

For my personality.....this is where things get interesting. At first people find me very intimidating due to my resting bitch face and cold exterior but I promise i'm not like that ALL the time. When you get to know me, i'm a big extrovert, goofy and about everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcasm or some dry humored joke. I'm also that one friend in a group where they literally will do the stupidest shit ever like for an example one time it was super dark outside and my other friend was there, while I was trying to climb a tree and I failed and fell out of the tree, and landed on my back. I got straight up after that somehow it didn't hurt.....like at all? But yeah i'm super reckless and sometimes people have to save me from myself if you get what I mean. I also have a very strong "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I will not hesitate to stick up for myself or my friends....like i'm the type of person where if someone glares at me, i'll glare right back. I can have bad anxiety and I can be very self destructive. This is where my feisty, stubborn, hardheaded side comes in. If I want something then i'll fight for it even if it hurts me and i'll get into a bad cycle of putting myself down and trying to do better even if I did great the first time but I always push myself too far and other people have to stop me because I usually can't see it when its happening. I also cover my emotions up and I have a lot of trouble talking about whats bothering me or what problems i'm having emotionally so I put up a wall and I act tough, or happy and sometimes i'll be the exact opposite but I try to hide it.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting.

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 9 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 80's and 90's rock but mainly 90's because 90's is the best, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkoln Park, Pearl jam but i'm pretty open to anything. Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider.

So for the nsfw part.....I'm very shy and i'd like it if someone guided me. But i'm 100% a Bottom and I love praise and maybe a tiny bit of degradation. I also have a big ownership kink like if someone tells me that i'm their's....then I might die. Also if they told me that they "Needed" me I would also die on the spot...in a good way. I'm also a sucker for marking like lovebites and hickies? Yes please. But please tease me and edge me because I prefer not having control so someone else being in control is just...lovely. Also pet names! Like Sunshine, Babygirl, Doll....AHHhh I might melt. Things I don't like are impact play or the whole "Daddy kink" It kinda just makes me cringe

I also don't think I really have a type but.....I do tend to love people who are brooding, and intimidating on the outside but a big teddy bear on the inside because that's how I am sometimes. I hate people who are fake or just passive aggressive because they are super annoying to deal with and honestly if you have something to say then just say it to my face rather than behind my back.

Hello :)

|| I enjoyed reading through this. I'll definitely work on it now. ||

I match you with ~ Jeff The Killer!

First off, he really likes your size and style, he has a think for small girls that can still be tough and that’s something he loves showing off when you get together lmfao, he’s like, “Yeah, my girls strong. Fuck you gonna do about it?”

Now, Jeff is a really unstable, violent guy. A lot of people (even me) don’t even see him ever being interested in being in a relationship, so when the creeps saw Jeff with his arm around you, they were immediately baffled by it.

The truth is, though, this man totally wants to have someone by his side, someone that accepts him even though he’s a killer. Someone that’s open to his feelings and is willing to look past all of the horrible shit he’s done.

You’re like that to him, it took him a very long time to get used to how he felt for you at first. At first he thought his brain was just being stupid, but Jeff isn’t dumb. He knows what these feelings feel like, and he recognized them almost immediately after that.

Jeff is really insane, and he constantly leans on you for support and depends on you to keep him leveled at times. It can get pressuring, but despite it all he always makes sure to not blame you if he ends up doing something dumb because he knows it’s not your fault.

He finds your clothing style pretty hot, he really loves badass kind of outfits with leather and band names, because as I said, he loves to show off that his girl is “cool” or something.

He thinks your resting bitch-face and cold exterior is really badass too, being around you always gives him so much confidence and its a great change from the usual fake confidence he has around everyone that he keeps up as a defense mechanism when in reality he was always pretty insecure.

I honestly think Jeff is an extrovert too, like he loves being around people and interacting with them (When they’re not normal people and don’t think he’s hideous, that is). I canon this mostly because when hes alone, then he’s also alone with his thoughts and his thoughts always end up wandering to his insecurities and what he hates about himself, but you often catch him during these times and you reassure him that everything will be okay and that you still love him.

He totally relates to being the friend that says stupidest shit, you two will often just go up to one of the creeps and just start spouting random shit. He honestly fucking loves being goofy with you, and you two are always creating awesome memories together when you prank the other creeps and sometimes each other and he honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

When you do stupid shit that gets you in trouble or puts you in danger, he’s always quick to get to you and make sure you’re okay, he would probably panic a lot though. Like, “What the fuck, dumbass?” “How the HELL did you do that???“ as he’s frantically trying to solve the situation. Will most definitely sit there and laugh at you for a good 5-10 minutes once the whole thing is dealt with though.

You being able to stick up for your friends is one of the great qualities about you that he absolutely adores, especially since before he became a killer he would always get bullied and nobody would ever stick up for him, so one day when you defend him against a bunch of assholes it just warms his heart up and makes him feel so loved, but he most likely wont admit that.

He’d let it slip eventually though.

When you’re feeling self-destructive, he is 100% there for you. Although he’s not really the best at giving advice, he’ll still sit there with you and let you talk your heart out and will listen to every single word because he wants to show that same contribution towards you that you’ve shown him. He’ll constantly reassure you that not everything is your fault and that you’re strong, and he’ll make little promises to you.

If it was a person in particular making you feel that way though, he’d definitely make sure to pay a visit to the motherfucker.

He admires your determination to fight for the things you want, but to an extent. He hates it when you overwork yourself or push beyond your limits to the point where it destroys you, and he wants you to know that you’re not alone and you can ask for help, you don’t have to destroy yourself. He’s more than willing to stay right there, by your side.

He understands hiding your true emotions, because well, he’s had to do it a lot around the other creeps and around his family when they were still alive. So he won’t ever push you to talk about somehting if you don’t want to, but he doesn’t want you to pretend to be okay either. He’s more than willing to just lay with you and do whatever you want if it would make you feel better.

He honestly likes how you have a southern accent at times, when he’s feeling upset or like his sanity is draining, your accent really soothes him so sometimes he’ll ask you to lay it on thick because he could honestly listen to you talk to him and listen to your accent all day if he wanted to.

It’s good that you like cigarette smoke because I canon this man smokes very often.

When it storms at night, he’ll always hold you close to him with a blanket and just listen to the storm sounds with you because it soothes him too. This man is really pent up from feeling driven to constantly murder and just sitting with you listening to the rain and thunder is one of the main things that level him.

He’s really not the best.... at cooking.... but, this means you can cook often for him since he won’t for himself. B)

He will just put you in a car and drive for hours to no destination and blast that 80s and 90s music just to see that smile on your face.

This man will 100000000000% destroy any spider within a 10 mile radius of you.

He understands not liking people who are fake because there were a lot of people who talked shit about him when he went to school, and when he has a problem with someone he will always say it to their face and make them understand that they’re a piece of shit to him.

NSFW:

You like being dominated and guided? Good, because this man is at least 95% a top. He thinks it’s adorable that you’re shy and will most definitely be willing to guide you through the whole thing and tell you exactly what to do for him.

Jeff is really possessive tbh, so when he’s fucking you he will constantly say shit like,

“Fucking mine”

“You’re nobody elses“

“You belong to me, only”

This man will definitely bite you everywhere, he lives to just throw you down onto the bed and start biting everywhere on your body and making sure to leave marks just so you know exactly who owns you.

Don’t worry honey, he will spend hours just filling you with his cock and telling you that you cant cum unless you beg more, or he’ll just pull out right when you’re about to cum on him and just slap your folds with his fingers as a way to make fun of you.

He’ll call you things like, “baby” “dollface” “darling” when he’s feeling passionate but oh boy if he’s feeling angry or he’s punishing you? Be prepared to be degraded all night.

There we go <3

Sorry if this is too long lmfao, I just think that Jeff is a really misunderstood piece of shit. I hope you’re having a great day and taking care of yourself, and I hope you enjoyed this matchup. :)

[babyen-ami]

Smile

Lee Heeseung/reader | childhood best friends to lovers | fluff & angst.

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: depictions of violence, minor character death, alcohol abuse, ideas of self-harm and worthlessness, running away from problems.

Synopsis: Heeseung has always been your best friend. the person that has always supported you through thick and thin. the person with the most beautiful smile, that could light up your whole life. how could you not fall for him?

Notes: This is also published on AO3 under hapenguin. hope you like it!

ⓒ babyen-ami 2021. Do not repost or modify.

The first memory you had of Heeseung was when You were 4 years old. It was an amazingly simple memory, only him smiling at you, with a big, beautiful smile that Made his eyes crease. It was a bright, sunny day. Hence why you were outside playing. You had been chasing him around the garden when he stopped abruptly making you stumble into him and land on top of him. You held out your hand to prevent any injuries, but that only made the situation first because you put all the weight of the fall on your hand that encountered a branch and fresh blood sprung out. Heeseung looked at you with a sheepish smile while you cried your eyes out. He kept repeating how sorry he was and even through your tears you were able to give him a small smile and tell him it was all forgiven. That was enough for the little boy because he was suddenly offering you the most beautiful and grand smile in the world while he held your other hand. His smile distracted you, it calmed you down. and just like that, tears that had been flowing freely came to a sudden halt. He always had a way of calming you. He was the person that kept you grounded even when you were only 4 years old. And His smiles would always be the reason for your smiles. That specific memory was your favorite image in the world.

When You were fourteen your mother died and even though Heeseung's smile made you feel a bit better at the funeral, it could not make up for what you would have to live from there on out. after that, your father had never been the same. At that age you had to start doing whatever work you could only to pay for the bills, so your drunk of a father could keep up with his habits.

After two weeks of you working your ass off and not being able to hang out with Heeseung, he found out. He had walked to your house only to find your dad passed out on the sofa surrounded by bottles of whiskey. Heeseung waited for you to come home on your porch. You finally made it by nine and the moment he looked at you, you saw in his eyes that he knew everything. "How long?" He asked softly. You grimaced but answered, nonetheless. "He's been drinking since my mom died but I've only been working a few weeks."

He did not say a word after that, only stood up and hugged you. Nobody had hugged you since the funeral, and it was like your mind came to accept the reality all at once. Tears started to slip from your eyes, and you murmured "I'm exhausted."

Two years later, you and Heeseung were a well-oiled machine. He was your rock, the person you could always trust and lean on. While you worked 2 part-time jobs and got home to make dinner for your father, he helped by doing your homework and making sure your father didn't kill himself or break something when he got home smelling like alcohol and drugs. You loved your dad, but you also knew that you shouldn't be forced to deal with all of this. You were only 16 for crying out loud. You also loved Heeseung. He had always been a pretty boy in your eyes. even when you were 6 years old and "boys had cooties" you thought that he was pretty and that his smile could light every aspect of your being. But now... You had no words to explain what he meant to you. Sometimes you would get home and he would be there having tucked your dad into bed and waiting for you with a bowl of ramen. In those moments, the only thing that could cross your mind was how beautiful he was, and how thankful you were for having him, and how much you wanted to kiss him. And then he would follow you to bed and he would smile at you and everything would feel better, all your worries dissipated just by looking at his beautiful smile. Then, he would wait until you fell asleep because he knew that if he left before you fell asleep you would stay up all night worried about a hundred different things. And he would sing for you, and each time that he did, you fought to stay awake wanting to hear his voice forever.

It was the first Saturday you had off in weeks and you woke up early deciding that for one day, you would just forget all of it. You walked to Heeseung's house and were received by his mom. She welcomed you with a big smile and a hug and you asked her if you could go wake up Heeseung. She nodded. "But before you go up, could I talk with you?" She asked. "Oh yeah of course"

She led you into the kitchen and offered you coffee which you gladly accepted. "Heeseung has been getting home very late" she started. "Oh, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry" you said hurriedly. "Oh, no honey don't worry I'm not mad. I talked with him 3 days ago and he explained the situation." Your eyes widened and your gut tightened. You wanted to run back to your house. "H-he told you?" You stammered. "Don't worry and please don't be mad at him. I want to help." "You want to help?" You repeated. "Are you going to repeat everything I say?" She said with a smile. "You are always welcome here, and you can ask me for whatever you need," she added. "That's extremely kind of you. Thank you so much" you said quickly because you could feel the heaviness of tears at the bottom of your throat. "You are like a daughter to me so don't even worry about it, now go wake Heeseung up," she said patting your leg in a motherly fashion.

You landed beside Heeseung's body that was currently sprawled on the bed and he grunted. "Wake up," you said in a sing-song tone. He mumbled something like go away but you kept on insisting until he grabbed you by the waist and tugged you so you were lying beside him and then he did something that made your heartbeat so fast you were scared you would have a heart attack. He held you against him. "No, no Heeseung" you whined "it's my only day off and I am not spending it trying to wake you up" you added. He grunted but let you go. He then proceeded to rub his eyes, sit up and smile the sleepiest smile he could muster.

It was 3 in the afternoon and you were laying on the grass of the park near your house. Heeseung was beside you leaning against a tree. Heeseung had been talking about BigHit entertainment, which was a big company right now in the kpop industry thanks to BTS. Heeseung has always adored music. Even when you were he would always be singing and dancing. It was something he was truly passionate about and you could see it in his eyes every time the topic was brought up. "I mean it's just an idea, they're holding auditions, and well..." He was saying nervously as he looked at your blank face. The words in question brought you out of your reverie. "You should totally do it," you said, frankly. "But that means I would have to move to Seoul and it's..." He trailed off. "First make sure you pass the audition. Seungie let's take this one step at a time." You were sure he would pass the audition. He was incredibly talented, and any company would be lucky to have him. You had to tell him to chase his dreams no matter how much it hurt you to see him leave. "Yeah, you're right. Wait! Did you just call me Seungie?" He asked and you just smiled sheepishly at him. "You haven't called me that since we were like ten," he said with a smile.

The auditions passed and the results came. Of course, Heeseung had made it, he was incredibly talented. He came running all the way to your house to tell you that he had passed, only to find you picking up pieces of glass that were scattered all over the living room. "What happened?" He asked forgetting all about the audition. "He hadn't been home in a couple of days and when he got here, I told him that he couldn't just disappear and that I was worried. He started fighting with me and threw the bottle of whiskey against the wall" you answered and carried on with picking up the pieces of the bottle. Heeseung knew it wasn't the best time to tell you, but he had to. "I got in. I'm gonna be a trainee for BigHit" he said quietly. The statement caught you so off base that a piece of glass slipped from your hands and in your reflex to catch it, you cut your hand. "Ow!" You gasped.

You were both in the bathroom. You were sitting on the edge of the sink while he tended to your cut. "I'm not gonna go to Seoul," he said. "What, why not?" You asked immediately. "I can't leave you..." He almost whispered. But you heard him loud and clear. "Don't worry about me. I mean, of course, having your help has been a gift, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stopped you from following your dream" you said firmly "I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself. Plus, I'm not alone, I have your mom" you added looking him in the eyes. He had just finished putting a band-aid over the cut and his fingers moved up to grab your wrist and pull you down from the sink, while he kept on looking into your eyes. You had always been short. But right now, looking in his eyes, you had to tilt your chin up to be able to do it. He leaned his head down and all the alarms in your mind started going off like crazy. Was he going to kiss you? he was looking at you so heavily and his eyes would drift quickly to your lips and then back up to your eyes. This was it; you were finally going to kiss Heeseung. But before anything else could happen you heard your father yell your name making the both of you jump apart.

The chatter of passenger's surrounded you while you walked next to Heeseung and his family to the gate of the train in which your best friend would be going off to achieve his dream. Your mind was cluttered, and your heartfelt heavy with all of the emotions you were feeling. You were unbelievably proud of him and sure that he would prove just how talented he was. But at the same time, you couldn't help but think about how hard it was going to be without him. Not only were you going to miss him helping you out with all your problems, but you were also going to miss him as your best friend.

After the almost-kiss-incident in the bathroom the other day, you had decided that you were gonna kiss him goodbye today. You couldn’t live with yourself if he left without knowing how you felt for him. plus, you were a hundred percent sure that he would debut, and he would become famous, so you were also a hundred percent sure that you would probably not be seeing much of Heeseung again. It was now or never.

He suddenly stopped and you crashed lightly into him. You were in front of his gate. Heeseung said his goodbyes to his family and his mother started crying softly, so he hugged her again and whispered soothing words in her ear. He then turned to you. There were already unshed tears filling your eyes and he grimaced, grabbing your hand. He hugged you and whispered in your ear "what if I don't leave?" when he said those words, you felt a chill run through you. What if you kissed him and that just increases his desire to not leave? It was only a what-if, but you couldn’t risk making that what if come true. So, you refrained from kissing him.

You pushed him lightly so you could look into his eyes. "If you don't leave, I'm gonna drag you there by your ear," you said sternly. "But... I'm going to miss you" he said sheepishly. "And I'm going to miss you, but we'll talk every chance we get," you said but he still looked torn on whether to get on the waiting train or not. "I'm gonna be fine," you said and shoved him subtly in the direction of the train "go," you told him softly, but he didn't move. He just kept looking at you. So, you shoved him harder "go," you said louder this time. He gave you one last glance and then turned around to get on the train.

It was difficult talking with Heeseung, he was always rehearsing or extremely tired, and you were always working or taking care of your father. But even though it was hard, your chat could show just how much you told each other about your day-to-day. He would talk to you about the song he was currently practicing, and you would tell him about the weird customer that came into the restaurant that day.

two whole years passed this way. dying to see each other but never really having the time or energy. You knew Heeseung called his mother at least once a week, but you were never there when he did. So that's why you considered it extremely weird to have him calling you while he knew you were at work. You chanced a glance at your boss only to see she was busy, so you answered the video call. You were met with his beautiful smiling face. You had seen many pictures that he normally sent to his mom but seeing him smiling in real-time even if it was through a screen made your heart flutter. He had gotten even more handsome if that was possible. "It's been way too long," he said "I've missed your ugly face," he added teasingly. you rolled your eyes but smiled, nonetheless. "I'm at work, can we talk later?" you whispered. "right sorry, it's just something really quick," he told you and then added, "you know the series Big hit and Belift are making to see who the next band to debut will be?" you hummed in agreement and he continued "well I got in." A huge smile made its way onto your face "Seungie that's amazing!" you all but screamed and your boss turned to look at you with a scowl. "Does your mom know? she's going to be so excited." He laughed looking at you fondly "no, you're the first person I wanted to tell" his eyes showed a certain softness that you couldn't quite pinpoint but made you feel giddy. "you're gonna do amazing," you said. "thanks" A weird silence settled over the both of you before he blurted out "I miss you" at the same time your boss grabbed your phone and hung up the call.

Once I-land was announced and the schedule was set for each Friday, you negotiated working extra hours on other days just so you could see Heeseung and feel proud of him. it was the first Friday I-land would be airing and you were currently sitting on the floor of Heeseung's house. His mother and father were both on the couch and his brother was on the individual sofa. "I can't believe my little brother is going to be in a series," His brother said, and you smiled openly proud. "shush it's starting," Mrs. Lee said patting her son's leg.

I-land was a beautiful place, and you were almost jealous of Heeseung. It was surreal seeing him on TV, and he looked so handsome. It was also funny seeing all the other boys fawn over their Hyung. You weren't even surprised when he got into I-land. He was that talented. Seeing him, looking so happy made you happy too. As it had always been, His smile made you smile too. You hadn't felt your heart so light since he had left. It was the best day you had in a while, but that only lasted until you got home. You had stayed at the Lee's household way longer than you would have stayed at work, and for that reason, you weren't home to pick your dad from the stairs and get him into bed.

When you stepped into the house, it was deadly quiet, but your father was sitting calmly in the living room. When he saw you walk in, he spoke. "Where have you been?" "At Heeseung's house," you said. You didn't understand, he didn't seem drunk, but you still couldn't remember the last time he had not been drunk. "Oh, so while you whore around I have to starve to death?" He asked hotly. you walked closer to your father and sniffed him. He reeked of alcohol. "and here I was thinking you could actually be sober" you murmured walking over to the kitchen to make him some dinner.

When you walked to the living room with a hot plate of food, you found your dad sprawled out drinking directly from a bottle. You grabbed his wrist and took the bottle away from him. "no, if I'm going to make you dinner and keep on looking after you, you have to at least drink less!" you exclaimed filled with rage. "you're just a little bitch" he growled and pushed you, making the hot soup land on your arm. Your father grabs the bottle and leaves you to clean up.

Heeseung was sitting eating breakfast while everybody talked cheerfully. "What's wrong Heeseung Hyung?" Jungwon asked and almost everyone turned to look at him. "What do you mean?" "Well, you seem kind of quiet" Geonu chirped. "It's just because I miss my family, I wish I could call them" Heeseung answered simply. "But that's not it," K Hyung said "I mean, we all miss our family" he added looking firmly at Heeseung. "There's a girl!" K exclaimed after a while. It was as if all hell had broken loose. "Tell us about her" somebody yelled and Heeseung felt himself blush. "No, no there's no girl”. "Then why are you blushing?" K asked. Heeseung groaned loudly and said, "her name is y/n, she's my best friend and she has no idea that I like her."

It was the Fourth Friday the show had been airing, and you were currently sprawled on the couch in the Lee's living room. You had now learned to leave food on the table for your dad, and to hide every alcohol bottle in the house. But it seemed you hadn't hidden them well enough because when you walked into your house you found your dad sitting on the living room floor drunk out of his mind and crying over a picture of your mom. All the lights in the house were off and the only light was in the form of a candle surrounding your father. you went to turn on some lights but even if you moved the switch, it wouldn’t turn on. You had forgotten to pay the electric bill. You walked clutching the wall all the way to the bathroom and looked under the loose floorboard where you kept the emergency money. It would all be fine. You would go first thing tomorrow and pay the bill. Except it wasn’t going to be okay. There was no money.

“Dad… did you take the money?” you asked. “yeah! bought some whiskey” he murmured happily and that was your limit for today. You felt tears slip down your cheeks as you ran all the way to the familiar door. The door where Heeseung had always waited for you with open arms. The only difference was that this time, the door opened to reveal a Lee that wasn’t the Lee you wanted. But you still let him envelop you in his open arms…

The next day you sold your phone to be able to pay for the electricity bill, and also save up a little bit. A month ago, the idea of selling your cell phone was completely out of the picture, because it was the only thing that kept you connected to Heeseung. But now… he was busy, and would probably be busy from here on, so you wouldn’t need to keep in contact with him.

Once Heeseung got hold of his phone again, the first person he called, to tell that he had made it to the second part of I-land, was you. But you didn’t answer, all he heard was a beep and a mechanical voice informing him the line had been disconnected. He felt himself grow worried immediately. He called his mom. She answered after two rings. “I got into the second part of the show,” he said almost breathlessly, and his mom screamed in joy. “I knew you would make it; you are so talented. my boy,” she said happily and they both spoke for a while before Heeseung asked. “What happened to y/n’s phone?” “she sold it” was his mother’s short answer “she is probably coming by later if you want to talk to her” she added. “Yeah, I’ll call later,” he said. But he didn’t call. It felt weird not knowing everything that was going on in his best friend’s life. Was this how it was going to be from now on? he hated to think that way, but it seemed as if you didn’t need him anymore.

The second part of I-land started and although you wanted to support Heeseung so badly, you just couldn’t because you were working extra shifts, saving up money, finding ways to stop your father from drinking, and trying to hold yourself up by putting together the pieces of your heart with tape. You had been sleeping at Heeseung’s family house to avoid interactions with your father, but you needed to get some clothes and things from the house. You gathered your courage and opened the door to the house and stepped inside. The house was completely quiet and the sight that greeted you made your blood run cold.

your father was passed out drunk in the middle of the living room. You swore loudly and dropped to the floor beside him to take his pulse. his heart was beating as strong as ever. You knew the best option was to take him to the emergency room, but you didn’t have a car, you didn’t have the money and you didn’t have the will to answer all the questions that were bound to be thrown your way in the hospital. So, gathering all your strength, you dragged your dad to the couch and then proceeded to tuck him in comfortably with a blanket. You decided to take his pulse every few minutes to make sure everything was okay; you also grabbed a bucket to put beside his face for when he started throwing up.

After about an hour you were starting to get extremely worried. tears were streaming down your face and your heart filled with so many emotions you couldn’t understand anything. You were angry at him because he was supposed to be your father, he should be taking care of you, making you happy, but here he was making you grow up before you had to. It wasn’t fair that you had to live through all of this. You were sad and worried because you didn’t want anything to happen to him. Yes, he was horrible with you, and most of the time you hated him, but he was still your father. You were also angry at yourself for feeling sorry for the person who had made your life miserable. Your dad suddenly grunted and stirred on the couch. You felt like oxygen could finally enter your lungs.

You had already grabbed everything you needed and put it into a backpack. Seeing as you had nothing else to do while he woke up, you let anger overtake you. Angry tears streamed down your face as you raided the house looking for every bottle of alcohol you could find. gathering everything in the kitchen, you started opening them and emptying them in the sink not caring about how much noise you were making, and that was your mistake. You were down to the last bottle when you heard a loud cry behind you, and a pair of hands grabbed you, flinging you to the other side of the kitchen.

Your cheek impacted against the oven and you felt something hot trickle down and mingle with your tears. “WHAT DID YOU DO!?” your father asked, and you looked at him blabbering like a fish out of the water “since you decided to be a bitch, give me money to buy more” he added firmly, and although you were shaking with all your might, you said “no” “What did you say?” he said, approaching you and you scrambled to your feet. “I said no!” you screamed “I deserve a father, not this poor attempt you’ve been giving me. You always talk about how YOU lost her, how YOU miss her, how YOU don’t know how to live without her. But let me tell you that I LOST HER TOO!” you continued “and not only did I lose her, but I also lost you too” you finished only to feel a hard slap against your bleeding cheek.

You could see so much anger in his eyes, you immediately started backing up until your back hit the wall. He walked to you and clasped his hand around your throat. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about her” he said through clenched teeth. You were trying but failing miserably at getting air in your system and he seemed to notice you were becoming purple because he let go. You dropped to the ground panting wildly trying to compose your erratic breathing and he kicked you. You grunted in pain. “leave and don’t ever come back,” he said “I don’t even want to see you in this town. If you stay here I’ll know where to find you and not only will I hurt you, but I will also hurt your precious boyfriend’s family” He finished menacingly and you ran grabbing the backpack on your way out. It was already getting dark, so you knew you would have to wait until tomorrow to be able to do something. You decided to go to the people that had treated you better than your own family.

Mrs. Lee heard a knock on the door and went to open it, knowing she would find y/n on the other side. But what she couldn’t have known was that she would find y/n crying, with blood all over her face and the beginning of bruises on her neck. “God! what happened?” she asked worriedly ushering you in. you could barely talk, but in between your sobs, you managed to choke out “my dad” and Mrs. Lee didn’t need any more information to understand what had happened.

Heeseung had no way of knowing that while he was celebrating having obtained second place in the test for that week, you were having the worst day of your life. His prize for obtaining second place was the right to make one phone call. He immediately thought of you, but then remembered you didn’t have a phone anymore. He settled with calling his brother who answered on the fifth ring. “Hello?” “Hyung” Heeseung greeted happily.

You were standing in the kitchen with Heeseung’s brother talking about what had happened when his phone rang. After picking it up a giant smile spread on his face. “Heeseung-ah!” he exclaimed, “what’s going on?” you could hear Heeseung’s giggles through the phone, so when his brother looked at you asking for permission to tell him what had happened, you softly shook your head.

Heeseung laughed loudly as his brother made fun of him and told him that Jay was more handsome than him. He then spoke with his mom, who gave him encouraging words and told him how much she missed and loved him. All this while he knew the cameras were on him, but to speak with the person he wanted to speak to, he wanted to be truly alone. So, he headed to the bathroom. “Mom is y/n there?” he asked softly before his mother could hang up.

what Heeseung didn’t know was that he was on speaker mode and you had heard everything. you nodded softly at Heeseung’s mom and she handed you the phone. “hi” you breathed and Heeseung felt as if his heart wanted to leave his body and find yours. “I’ve missed you,” he said, and you told him that you had also missed him. “I know you probably don’t have much time so I’ll be quick” you started “you are doing amazing on the show and I know for sure that you will debut, and you will be a great idol, and you will help thousands of people to be better just like you did with me.” “Why are you speaking like this?” he asked. “let me finish,” you said, and he kept quiet so you continued “just promise me you won’t forget who you are, and whenever you feel like you can’t, remember all the times you helped me achieve something and believe I am right there with you helping you achieve it” you exhaled and he whispered, “I promise.” “Seungie” you also whispered. “yeah?” “I like you, as more than a friend. I have for a while now” you told him “and don’t say anything, go win the competition and then we’ll talk.” you said your goodbyes and you both stared at the phone similarly, except that the emotions for both of you were completely different.

He was looking at the phone with the biggest smile he could muster. He was genuinely happy. You liked him and he liked you. And once he got to debut and everything, he would help you leave your father’s house, and you would both be happy. He couldn’t wait for what tomorrow would bring. You were looking at the phone while tears dripped down your face, knowing that that was the last time you would speak to him because the next day you would be leaving and not looking back. You dreaded what tomorrow would bring.

Heeseung was picked through the global vote, to debut as a member of Enhypen. Once he was backstage getting ready for a photoshoot after the results had been announced, Heeseung called his mom. He was begging that you were there with her. "Mom!" He said happily. "Honey we just saw it all live. We are so proud of you" she said and after a couple of questions from her, Heeseung was finally able to ask the question that he had been dying to ask since his mom had picked up. "Is y/n there?" he asked. “Heeseung… Uhm...she left.” “oh, isn’t it late for her to be working?” “No Heeseung-ah, things hadn’t been great between y/n and her father, she was basically living here. The day you called, she had gone home to get some things and she came back beaten black and blue. He almost killed her. You called but she didn’t want to worry or distract you with her problems, we didn’t think much of it because we assumed, she would eventually tell you everything. But the next day, we woke up and she was gone with all her things, and we haven’t heard anything from her… that was weeks ago” His mom said. A heavy silence settled between them. “Are you okay honey?” his mother asked worriedly. “I-I am mom… C-can I call you lat-ter?” he stuttered quickly into the phone and before she could give an affirmative, he was already hanging up.

Heeseung thought he was gonna be sick. Fuck, fuck you were gone, and he had no idea what to do to find you. He couldn’t call you; you had no phone. He couldn’t ask your father… because well he was a bastard. They couldn’t report you as a missing person because you were an adult, and they weren’t your family. He felt the beginning of a panic attack. He couldn’t breathe knowing that he might never see you again, never hug you again, he would never be able to kiss you, and that hurt. Jungwon noticed his Hyung was looking pale and having trouble breathing on the car ride to their new dorm. “are you okay?” he asked but Heeseung was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t seem to hear him. all the boys looked at Heeseung waiting for his answer, but nothing came. Sunoo shoved his elder lightly and Heeseung snapped out of it looking at them with an almost scared look on his face. The other boys were worried, but they also knew that they were being recorded for “Enhypen & Hi” so when Heeseung said he would tell them later, they all agreed quietly. Once they were all in the comfort of their own beds and the cameras had been turned off, Heeseung told them everything. From the death of your mother, his feelings for you, your feelings for him, your abusive father, and the fact you had run away, and he would never see you again. None of the boys knew what to say. They understood why you had run away, but they could also see how much it was hurting their Hyung. They couldn’t do much more than telling Heeseung that everything would be fine, even when they had no idea if that was true.

Heeseung debuted. Of course, he debuted. He was talented, kind-hearted, and drop-dead gorgeous. You felt proud.

But you also felt broken...

You were currently working cleaning tables and washing dishes in a run-down restaurant. The pay wasn’t the best, but it was what you could get. It kept you alive, fed... with a roof over your head, but most importantly safe and away from your dad. You missed the Lee’s, missed Heeseung’s mom’s delightful cooking and their warm house. You missed their stories and their affection. But most of all you missed Heeseung. And seeing him on tv doing interviews, talking about his inspirations, and looking the happiest you had ever seen him, or on billboards looking fantastic modeling some new item of clothing or announcing some brand, was a bittersweet pill. It was bitter because you were selfish. And you wanted to be with him, you wanted his beautiful smiles to be only for you like they always had been. You were also jealous of the girls who now got to hear him sing, and you wished that things were different. But they weren’t different and there was nothing you could do about it. But it was sweet because you loved him, and he was happy. He had achieved his goals and the band had now been going for two years strong. He was a fan favorite, he had money, he was surrounded by friends, and still had a good relationship with his family. And at the end of the day, you really couldn’t ask for more. If he was happy, so were you.

It had been almost four years since you had run away. You were sharing an apartment in a neighborhood where you finally didn’t have to worry about somebody breaking and entering in the middle of the night. Your roommate was your co-worker at one of the finest restaurants in Seoul. You were a waitress, and the pay was good. you finally felt financially and emotionally stable. Your life finally felt okay. Of course, you still missed Heeseung, he was the love of your life. But you didn’t think about him as often. You knew he was still a part of Enhypen because you saw him in ads and interviews, but you didn’t try to know much about him because it didn’t do you any good to still be pining after him. You had to move on.

The two maknaes had been yapping Heeseung’s ears off for about a week, constantly talking about the new hip restaurant in Seoul and how they were really dying to go try it. He wasn’t surprised when their manager told them that everything had been arranged and they would be going to dinner at that restaurant. supposedly, the restaurant had really good food and a very hip theme, but he really hadn’t paid much attention to what Sunoo had been saying.

you arrived for your shift at the restaurant and your boss Mina called you to the side before you could start. “Y/n-shi, I just wanted to ask if you could handle a couple of VIP customers that are coming at seven,” she said. “Uhm yeah of course” “Great, the hostess will guide them to their separate table and tell you so you can serve them. Is that alright?” Mina asked. “Yeah, it’s fine,” you said, and she reminded you to be on your best behavior before leaving you to work.

The hostess guided them to a separate room with a courteous smile and Heeseung sat in between jake and jay. They were handed menus and told their waitress would be with them in a bit. The boys were talking loudly while Heeseung had his head stuck in the menu reading over what he wanted to eat.

The hostess of the restaurant told you that the VIP customers were waiting at their private table, so you started walking there while you redid your high ponytail. once you got to the table you cleared your throat and grabbed your notepad and your pen. “Hello, my name is y/n and I will be your server tonight,” you said without looking up. And you did not look up until you heard an interested sound. In front of you were the boys from Enhypen and a very pale-looking Heeseung.

“Oh! you have the same name as the girl Hyung used to love” The one you recognized as Niki said looking at Heeseung and then back at you. Niki noticed you were both looking at each other with your eyes wide open and pale in the face and immediately shut up. Heeseung was here. sitting right in front of you. He looked so grown up, and so handsome. seeing him there made you want to just go up to him and hug him. “it’s really you?” Heeseung said almost in a whisper “I’m not dreaming?” he added and that snapped you out of your thoughts. “I-can get-t someone else to waiter you if-f it’s too uncomfortable” you rushed out tripping over your words. You turned hastily around ready to bolt out of the room before you had to face further embarrassment. “wait!” a voice called, but it wasn’t Heeseung’s. You turned back to them “you’re really Heeseung’s y/n?” Jungwon added. your heart fluttered wildly at the thought of being Heeseung’s. You were lost for words, so you nodded softly playing with your hands. Jay suddenly spoke up “uhm… let’s all go to the bathroom,” he said awkwardly shoving all of the members in the direction of the bathroom so you and Heeseung could talk in private.

Heeseung could feel his hands sweating. He no longer knew how to talk to you, or at least he didn’t know how to start this conversation. “I missed you” he suddenly blurted out and saw how your cheeks filled with color. “I missed you too,” you said, and he felt his heart start to thump at a crazy pace. During the last few years, he had told his members many times that he was over you, but that just wasn’t true. He decided to stand up because it felt weird having this conversation when you were both in different levels of height. “Why didn’t you tell me about what happened with your dad?” he asked, “or why didn’t you stay and let my family help you?” he added. “he threatened me, that if I stayed, he would not only harm me but also your family and I...” you let silence overtake the room while you put your ideas in order. “I just couldn’t let that happen.” Your eyes showed so much emotion that he took a step closer and you took a shaky intake of breath. “And I didn’t tell you because you would’ve wanted to help, but I couldn’t ask for your help when you were that close to achieving your dreams,” you said looking at the wall on your left. Heeseung suddenly invaded your personal space and engulfed you in a hug. you were frozen to the spot for a couple of seconds, but then you hugged him back. “I am so glad you are okay. I was so worried” he whispered into the hug and you felt tears start to sting at your eyes. “You told me the night I called you that you liked me, do you still like me?” he asked, and you gave a shy nod. His eyes lit up and he grabbed your chin. “That night, you also told me not to say anything until I debuted, and I finally debuted. So here it is I love you, I have for a while now” he said and let his hand engulf your cheek while his lips came onto yours in a kiss.

[fumiko-matsubara]

Expectations and Fantasies

“You know…” Kaho suddenly started, absentmindedly playing with the bending straw that she had used for her now finished iced-tea.

Sitting across the table before her, Ryuunosuke perked up at her voice, tearing his gaze off his phone screen. He slightly tilted his head in mild curiosity, with his usually sharp eyes opened wide, blinking owlishly after. “Yeah?” He gently prompted, his initially surprised face slowly contorting into a soft smile.

Kaho bit the insides of her left cheek as she silently stared back at him. It had been a few months since they had formally met, and yet, she couldn’t really see herself getting used to the stark contrast between DREAM’s wild lead guitarist Ryuunosuke and the Ryuunosuke who was softly smiling at her as he waited for her to continue.

They began hanging out outside the live house every other day after the rain had stopped pouring. It was surprisingly Ryuunosuke’s idea, saying something along the lines of “wanting to stray away from the stress of school and having to constantly put up with Eiji’s bullshit,” which was totally valid and she completely agreed that he really needed to take a break. But she couldn’t help but to wonder why he wanted to spend his break with her, as delighted as she felt when she first received the offer. She supposed that he had plenty of friends outside the band that he could’ve asked instead. Like Miki, for example, as they seemed to be close enough to casually hang out together all the time.

Speaking of Miki, the stylist had been particularly excited when she heard the news (which also made Kaho wonder why Ryuunosuke felt the need to inform her about it, but she decided that it's a concern she could ponder over at another time), that she took it upon herself to pick out outfits for both of them, even having them pose together for a picture once she was done. The memory of Miki going over to her home and practically raiding her closet was still fresh on Kaho's mind. She assumed that Miki was just enthusiastic since the hang out was just a rare opportunity for her to style two people who she (legit) made her personal models in the same setting.

But the way the stylist came about it made Kaho think it was for a different reason, and the thought itself made her feel extremely giddy the first time she realized it.

Who could blame her though? Spending the whole day together, with Ryuunosuke planning where they would go, while wearing seemingly matching outfits to boothー if the whole situation was taken out of context, it almost looked like they were on a date.

Kaho blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. Now is not the time to start fantasizing! Especially since she had yet to know the reason why she was the one who Ryuunosuke invited of all the people he knew.

Her eyes briefly darted between Ryuunosuke's eyes and the straw she had been playing with. Perhaps he wouldn't mind it if she asked him, right?

"For some reason," she finally continued after a minute of pausing. She leaned towards the table, resting her chin onto her free palm, as her other hand was still preoccupied with the bending straw she's playing with. "When the person I had a crush on also began to take interest in me and asked me out, that crush I had just vanishes completely as if I never had one in the first place."

Wait, what?

Kaho immediately lifted her head, her eyes widening in alarm. 'Idiot! You're supposed to ask him why he's interested in hanging out with you, not talk about people who're interested in you!'

She mentally sighed, her lips slowly contorting into a tight smile. 'Whatever, the topic's not too far off. I can just find an opening to ask him later.'

She returned her gaze back to Ryuunosuke, only to see him eyeing her in surprise. He probably wasn't expecting that crushes would be the first thing they would talk about to strike up another conversation, thirty minutes after their last one.

"It's weird, right?" Kaho nervously laughed.

At her voice, Ryuunosuke suddenly blinked, as if he was just snapping out of his reverie. "I don't think it is." He answered.

He then gave her yet another soft smile. "You probably just enjoy doing the chasing and that's not weird at all."

"Probably…" Kaho trailed off, staring down at her bending straw in thought. She didn't think of it that way and, in a way, it does make sense. After pondering over it for a few moments, she locked eyes with Ryuunosuke once again.

"There's also the fact that, once that person began noticing and showing more of their personality to me, I tend to get disappointed because they're usually far from what I've fantasized about them," she explained softly, proceeding to twirl a lock of her hair with her index finger. 

"And that really rubs me off the wrong way for some reason…" she sighed.

It took Ryuunosuke a few seconds of staring into space before he mouthed a big 'oh' when he understood what she was saying. "Ahh… it's that kind of disappointment."

"But romantic fantasies are usually just like that, especially if it's towards a person whose personality is what you've hardly known about them." He briefly quirked an eyebrow at her in mild confusion, likely wondering why she was making a big deal out of it. "And that's pretty normal, actually. Nothing weird about that at all."

"I see…" Kaho trailed off. Somehow, that made her feel slightly better, even when it wasn't her main concern in the first place. She discreetly smiled at that.

Ryuunosuke leaned back to his seat and faced the ceiling. "Though, it makes me wonder why you dated Maehara…" he softly muttered, but mostly to himself.

However, Kaho managed to pick that up and let out a gasp, her eyes wide opened in surprise. "Huh?"

"Ah w-what?" Ryuunosuke suddenly jolted when he realized that he said that outloud and was heard. He quickly tore off his gaze from the ceiling and looked at her in alarm, his eyes opened just as wide and in panic.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that!" He hastily apologized.

Kaho quickly snapped out of her surprise and shook her head in response. "Ah no no, it's okay! You're not overstepping anything since it's not that personal." 

She then smiled at him reassuringly. "Also, we're both on good terms now, so you don't have to dodge the topic."

Ryuunosuke hesitantly eyed her, his eyebrows furrowed. "...are you sure?" He gently asked.

Kaho let out a hum with a smile in response, nodding her head almost eagerly.

That seemed to reassure him enough to relax his tense posture. He let out a long relieved smile. 

"I see… That's good then."

Kaho smiled at him in mild amusement. Sometimes he can be too caring that he tends to worry for the smallest reasons, but she supposed that it's one of his charms. "So what were you about to ask?"

"Ah, it's just that…" Ryuunosuke slightly shifted in his seat. "I don't want to make it seem like I was trying to get something out of you…" 

Kaho shook her head. "I'm telling you, it's fine."

"Well, if you insist." Ryuunosuke sighed, leaning towards the table. "Now where was I..?" He rested his chin onto the back of his hand, briefly looking up at the ceiling in thought. "You had a crush on him first, right? And he was the one who asked you out?"

"Uh huh!" Kaho answered, but mostly to confirm that he remembered it right, as she had already told him that herself a while back.

"Since that was the case, he must've felt the same way as you do then." He then returned his gaze towards her. "So why did you date him?"

For a brief moment, they stared at each other's eyes, unblinking.

"Well…" It was Kaho's turn to look up at the ceiling in thought, breaking off the eye contact. "In Maehara's case, when I used to have a huge crush on him, even with just watching him from afar, it didn't take me long to figure out the general idea of what kind of person he is," she answered truthfully, letting out a giggle. "It's mostly because he's very upfront."

Ryuunouske chuckled in amusement at that. "You're not wrong. That guy's personality just screams loudly even from a distance." He mused.

Kaho grinned. "Right? So when we began dating and that I'm seeing more of his personality, I wasn't even the least disappointed since he's exactly as how I imagined him to be." Her grin then softened. "Like even just when he suddenly asked me out, I was already seeing parts of his personality at that moment. So I said yes."

She returned her gaze back to Ryuunosuke, only to see him gazing softly back at her, the softness in his smile matching his eyes.

"That's really nice… you must've had a great time with him then, huh?"

Kaho nodded. "Yeah, he's a really good guy." 

"Even with what went down last month, which sadly didn't end well at that time, it doesn't change the fact that I genuinely enjoyed his company when we were still together." She admitted with a small smile.

"Good for you, then." Ryuunosuke's soft expression then brightened. "I'm glad you're taking it well."

After a few seconds of comforting silence, Kaho also leaned towards the table. She then also rested her chin onto the back of her hand, a rather mischievous glint evident in her eyes. "So, what about you then?"

Ryuunosuke stiffened. "Eh?" 

"It's kind of unfair if I'm only the one who talks about things like this, you know?" Kaho mused, smirking.

Ryuunosuke faltered at that. "W-well thats…"

"Oh, come on! Don't be shy~" Kaho grinned teasingly. "What's Ryuunosuke like when he has a crush on someone?" She prodded further, leaning towards him.

Ryuunosuke leaned away and turned to the side, avoiding her gaze at all cost. "The thing is… I don't really get crushes…" He hesitantly admitted.

"Really?" Kaho's teasing smile quickly turned into a confused frown. That was very surprising. "Seriously? Not even once?"

Ryuunosuke turned back to face her again, albeit a bit slowly. "Perhaps I did…" He finally said after a moment of hesitation. "But then again, I could just be confusing it with admiration or respect." He gazed downwards, stroking his chin with his fingers in deep thought.

"Wait." Kaho raised an eyebrow at him. "Who are we talking about here?"

He looked up at her. "It's Ayaka." He nonchalantly admitted.

"Ohh!" Kaho mused at that. It makes sense if she thought about it. They've known each other for three years and have been working together to keep the band going. Surely there are plenty of things that Ryuunosuke would notice about the older girl. "Well, I can't blame you on that. That senpai is hella pretty and smart."

"Hell yeah, she is." Ryuunosuke almost immediately agreed with her and Kaho had to briefly wonder why he sounded so passionate just then. "To be honest with you, it's kind of pissing me off actually." He then admitted.

Kaho chuckled in amusement. "And why is that?"

"Like, think about it. She's pretty, she's smart, fairly popular, and she can pull off any kind of clothing no matter how questionable her fashion sense is!" He exclaimed frustratingly.

"Anything about her personality, though?" Kaho asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ryuunosuke quickly dropped his frustrated expression, staring at her dryly instead in response. 

"That's not a good trait." He deadpanned.

"Oi, don't let her hear you say that!"

He waved her off, though. "Not to mention, she's good at biology. That one is really unfair."

"Well, I'm not that good at biology myself, but is that really something you should be mad about the most?" Kaho asked, resting her cheek onto both of her palms.

"Yes?" Ryuunosuke raised an eyebrow at her incredulously. "You know what? She's just probably on my mind because I'm jealous of her." He decided.

"Oh really?" Kaho mused.

Ryuunosuke stubbornly nodded. "Yeah! I mean, of course, I still have my respect for her. But every time I think about Ayaka, the first emotion I feel is always jealousy." He crossed his arms and let out a small huff. "I'm probably just jealous."

Kaho just chuckled at him in pure amusement.

The topic had swerved off enough that there's no point in trying to find an opening to ask him that question, anyways. But Ryuunosuke was becoming more talkative, so Kaho couldn't really bring herself to suddenly switch topics, which can clearly throw him off, as evident as what happened earlier. 

For now, she should just enjoy the passionate performance that's being presented right in front of her, seeing as there's not a hint of when Ryuunosuke will stop rambling at this point.

She can just ask him at another time.

My other ChiHo works: Masterlist