#I'm just making all this up right now but I just want to illustrate somehow how this kind of cyclical process can actually be a tool

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!

[pianostarinwonderland]

maybe skully isnt dead 🤯 [half copium half srs]

listen. ik ive been on copium for a while. ik we all are, ive seen twitter, tumblr, and everyone’s tags on my posts when they reblog

BUT PLS HEAR ME OUT. IM SO SERIOUS RN WHEN I SAY: if u wanna be technical about it, if u wanna stretch it out somehow, you can argue that the game never outright states that skully is dead, only that the skully we met was from hundreds of years ago.

“but mamsir pianostarinwonderland, how in the fuck can that be???? we HEARD that invisible kiss” LET ME COOKKKKKK 🔥🔥🔥 I SWEAR EVERYONE, I AM COOKING U JUST HAVE TO HEAR ME OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT— knocked out

Ok serious time, let me mansplain to you all the possibility of Skully being alive

Establishing first of all, Twst has kept Skully's nature vague

Simply put: we don't know if Skully is human. In his live 2D, Skully's ears are completely covered. Even in his illustration, we can barely see his ears. It's an interesting design choice. However, in his chibi (which wasn't revealed until Episode 5), we can see his ears aren't shaped like a fae, but are round like that of a human.

However, it's pretty hard to think he's human either, when we consider his "moshi, ne moshi" greeting in Episode 1 and its connection to the supernatural. Voiced, to be noted. Exactly what kind of creature he could be is currently unknown, but because this part was voiced, it's something we need to pay attention to at the very least.

In regards to his mortality, the only clue we're really given is Skully himself saying that he may never meet us except through Halloween, which implies a lifespan similar to a human or something similar. But Skully doesn't know how far into the future that the cast is from. Heck, does he even know of his nature?

Now, addressing that invisible kiss...

I feel like this is the main thing that told all of us that Skully is long gone. Heck, if you catch me in my right mind, I might just tell you that yeah, that should be enough proof that Skully is dead! Little signs from the dead such can manifest in similar ways to what Jamil and Leona sensed: hearing a kiss and feeling a kiss on your hand.

(unfortunately i'm not in my right mind so you're getting my dumb reasons why i'm arguing for otherwise)

However, if Skully is gone, I find it interesting that this is the way they decide to show it. We already know from the very first Halloween event that ghosts can manifest all year round in Night Raven College due to the high concentration of magical power in the area. Outside of that, they cannot be seen. If they really wanted to confirm with the audience that Skully is a ghost, they could have had him appear as such at the end, when they all returned to Night Raven College.

But they chose a scenario where people can draw a lot of conclusions from it: Is their senses getting fucked over as they wake up? Are they still reeling from the magic of the book? (though rationally, we know that Leona is not one to be easily stunned, so the first question is at the very least easy to dismiss)

I've also seen some people theorize that he's using invisibility magic during the invisible kiss scene. And well, while I find that funny, it makes me wonder if he could be some other kind of spirit that's not dead. Like an undead of some sort, which the residents of Halloween Town are. Heck, Azul's card line about Skully talks about how he seems to fit right at home with the Halloween Town residents. Again, we don't know Skully's true nature, but the possibility of him being a species that can turn invisible is interesting.

Moving on, we have what Dire Crowley stated about Skully

At the end of the event, Crowley tells us that he found Skully’s portrait while rummaging through the storage and shows it to us and the 11 boys who went inside the book

What he tells us is that Skully J. Graves is a NRC graduate from hundreds of years ago, before Crowley was Headmage. Note that he only was appointed for the position 100 years ago; the Skully we met is at least from around 200 years ago. During his NRC years, Skully got to share Halloween to NRC. It was a hit, and when he graduated, he spread Halloween all over the world in his travels.

I'd like to take a little detour first to discuss something that's been weighing on my mind: Some people have thought that Crowley is lying to us when he speaks about Skully and his achievements, but... I don't see why he would lie. For one, there is a decent chance that Crowley might not have gotten to see Skully. Even if he did, it's even more unsure if he was involved in Skully's affairs.

However, there's one main reason why I do think that Skully got to live a fulfilling life instead of facing an overblot that killed him or some other tragedy. I'd like to dedicate a longer post to this matter, but to make it concise, I think through Skully, Twst is starting to establish something new regarding their history. I think that historical teachings, folktales and stories, and rumors that are well-known tend to be lies or twisted truths. Whereas those that are obscure and not known are actually what occurred. Skully is called the King of Halloween who's done so much to spread the holiday to the world, yet not even NRC students, who should be the first to know considering that Skully is an alumna, know of him. Although there may be other reasons why that's the case, I like to think that at the very least, Skully's obscurity indicates that he did live the life he wanted and succeeded in working for a future that generations after him can enjoy.

Anyway, that actually isn't the main point of this section of the post, but I kind of want to air that out first. The main point is that Crowley only really said that Skully is a former NRC student from hundreds of years ago who traveled around the world to spread Halloween. But he never told us where he was buried or whether he saw his ghost roaming NRC. He never said anything about Skully being dead.

He probably said the hundreds of years ago bit, carrying the assumption that of course, Skully may have passed away. But we have to remember that we have long-living species in Twisted Wonderland. Fae that were students 200 years ago are very likely to be alive now. Crowley himself is a long-living creature, having been Headmage for 100 years. I think with that in mind, it's important for him to emphasize that Skully's gone if he really is. But he never mentioned it. Therefore, there is a good chance that Skully might just be somewhere else. That or Crowley just doesn't give a fuck where his alumni go, and I might be thinking too deeply about the absence of certain words. Honestly, that's a pretty good chance too.

Lastly, we have the scene where Jack Skellington gets shot down but survives it

Here's where it gets a bit more into speculation, but you're going to have to hear me out.

In the movie, Jack Skellington gets shot down by the military for impersonating Santa Claus. When the Halloween Townspeople watched it, they all despaired, and the mayor started declaring to all that Jack has been blown to smithereens and proclaimed him dead.

But that's not what happened: we find Jack landing on an angel's statue, alive and definitely not blown to smithereens.

And considering that Skully is still very much twisted from Jack Skellington... do you think the writers are pulling a similar move? Making us think that he's dead, just as the townspeople thought he was dead, only for us to learn eventually that he's alive.

This of course depends on what happens eventually in the sequel. From the way things are proceeding, what happened in the Lost in the Book with TNBC is events prior to the movie, and we could very well have the sequel be set during the movie events. (If you ask me, I kind of doubt that actually. I feel like Skellington got inspired by Skully's love for Halloween, enough to stay true to his identity as the Pumpkin King, which would mean the movie wouldn't happen the way we know it. So if anything, I feel like TNBC 2 would focus less on the actual movie and more on the side games where Oogie takes over Halloween Town and even kidnaps Santa and other people, but I admit, that's a stretch, especially considering that we will get Santa giving Halloween Town a taste of Christmas)

Of course, this post is really just to let some of my copium out. Rn, it's still safe to assume that yea, Skully's dead. And though I am coping hard for Skully to be alive, with the way Twst treats the dead, it's not exactly a bad thing. Ghosts continue to stay in NRC like they're living people. They honor the dead, and let the dead live among them. And even if he is in the afterlife and not stuck in the mortal plane, I have faith that Skully did live a fulfilling life that may have been forgotten but clearly changed the world. :'D

[paintbrushnebula]

Ghostflower Headcanons

As romantic gestures, Miles loves setting up these elaborate (if a little overkill) activities for Gwen to do, whether it's a special occasion or just. whenever feels like it. They're always these elaborate treasure hunts that he'll set up for her to complete. Like for Valentine's Day--Gwen never stirs in her sleep, so he'll surround her sleeping form with lilacs and peonies all around on the bed so she can wake up basking in their scent. Then this gesture will be somehow tooled as the first clue in this elaborate scavenger hunt across several dimensions, each stop being a cute little romantic gesture like a lovely written note or souvenirs from their times together. He'll have like, puzzles that require playing music or reading scores to move forward in the hunt. And Gwen LOVES them. She likes adventures and the ones Miles orchestrates for her always involve her having to use her many talents. She kinda sees Miles' games as a sweet, fun way of staying sharp. ^_^

Miles will mindlessly rub his face against Gwen's cheek whenever when he greets her or bids her farewell after a long day. A lot of people find it a little strange lol, but know better than to judge Miles in front of Gwen. 

Ghostflower's petnames....so Miles sucks at pet names. He can't think of any good ones besides whatever he's heard his Mami say to Jeff (so just the usual "mi amor.") Mamita works for her too. But aside from that, all the typical English pet names (so like "honey," "sweetie," etc) just feel weird coming off his tongue, he thinks they're cringe and he hates saying them XD. Besides there's just something about how much he loves saying Gwen's name. He loves her name. It's like music to him. And every new time he says it makes his heart flutter more than the last. Gwen's pet names for Miles on the other hand are very... eherm...varied. Like she does use all the typical English pet names, but she'll also randomly spout some very creative names that have to do with situations they're in or objects she just saw or smth, I hope I'm explaining this right 😭 So for example, "my weighted blanket" (if they were just sleeping), or "cupcake brain," "coffee bean," "my bespeckled cheekster" or some other stupid thing she randomly comes up with on the spot XD. 

Gwen is big spoon but Miles will jump off a bridge if Hobie finds out

Lol in fact, a lot of how Gwen treats Miles (fluffy pet names, cuddling him) is stuff Miles never wants Hobie to see XD. So picture Miles melting into Gwen on the couch while she runs fingers through his hair, then Hobie walks in and Miles flings himself right out of Gwen's arms, sitting up straight and clearing his throat, "aherm, wh-whassup' man." And like, Hobie probably wouldn't even give a dang XD. But Miles feels the need to keep up this... intimidating "not some feeble gumdrop" reputation around certain spiders like Hobie, Miguel, and now Peter B, etc.

Gwen hates the heat, she always has to have the AC on or at least a fan in front of her. Sometimes both. But Miles is very sensitive to the cold. So this becomes a dilemma when they're in the same room. Then it breaks out into a back and forth "no it's okay, I can turn it off/No it's okay! I can just put on a jacket!" Eventually they'll reach a compromise: Gwen can have the AC, but she has to cuddle Miles close so he can keep warm. 

Miles likes to paint or draw on Gwen a LOT. Like it basically becomes the norm Gwen's their friends and family to see her walking around with what appears to be temporary "tattoos." Sometimes there'll be "Miles x Gwen" in graffiti-styled lettering on her shoulder, or little spider-man chibis with little speech bubbles, or a jumble of illustrations of places they've been to, lyrics from songs he likes, and just colorful geometry painted all around her arm like a tattoo sleeve, or sunflowers on her cheeks, or just random lines and shapes here and there on her knuckles, arms or jawline. Miles will paint on her whenever he has the chance, whether she's in conversation with a completely different person, or she's doing work, writing, eating-anything. She always lets him, she loves it. And when they're alone and he's drawing on her, they'll sit in a comfortable silence the whole time, it's very...entrancing for Gwen when they're alone in a quiet room and he's hardly making any noise while she feels markers and paintbrushes dancing across her skin. 

[barleyo]

Your requests are open... you've put the words "Corrupt Cop Daichi" in my brain... Imagine you're just like. Driving on the highway and you're not even speeding but somehow he knows what you look like so he pulls you over because you're a cutie patootie... Dubious consent follows... Daichi in a cop uniform... Reader bent over the backseat of the cop car, door open, fully visible from the road but not caring because CoP dAiChI? AHHhhhhHH? (Idek if this counts as corrupt but cop daichi is cop daichi you know)

It's 9:30 in the morning but it's never too early for Cop Daichi argargargargargarg

Mr. Officer.

Cop! Daichi Sawamura X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: CORRUPT COP DAICHI IS MY EVERYTHING!!! Ugh dirty nasty cops who abuse their power :3 I wanted to make him mean, but my sweet, sweet Daichi could never be mean to a pretty girl... he still gets crazy with power though!

Tags: power play/imbalance, alcohol mention, small age gap (18—23), dub-con, p in v, quickies, coercion n all that good stuff :3

Wordcount: 900-ish

God, you were lucky that you were pretty, because you certainly weren't smart or slick. Daichi knew college kids were stupid, always doing risky stuff for the hell of it, but really? You were too drunk to walk in a straight line, let alone to be behind the wheel of a vehicle. 

He couldn't help but feel the pang of interest he felt when he got a good look at you after pulling you over. With the way you were driving, he was certain you'd be a blind old lady, but no. Just a college cutie. Damn it, it was hard to be stern with those. 

"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked, trite words second nature to him by now. 

If you googled the definition of the word "wasted," your face in that moment would be the illustration accompanying it. 

Your face was red and warmed, no doubt tinted by all the cheap liquor you threw back at whatever frat party you came from. Eyes lazy and half-lidded. Hiccups and inconsolable giggles.

"No," you said, drunken euphoria flooding through your system. "I'm sorry, Mr. Problem, is there an officer?"

"Jesus Christ."

Daichi pinched the bridge of his nose, not entirely sure what to do with you. On one hand, it was his job to take you into the station, take your name down, and rat on you to your parents. Maybe scare you straight with a few nights in a holding cell.

On the other, well, you were a sweet little thing. Drunk and stupid as you may have been, he didn't have the heart to haul you away like a criminal. Girls with pretty faces aren't meant for life behind bars, even if only for a couple of hours. 

"C'mon, let's get you out of here. Step out of the vehicle, please," he ordered weakly, still conflicted. 

You complied, of course, stepping out and stumbling, falling forward. He caught you, letting you hold onto his forearms during your spell of dizziness. 

You stayed in his arms, drunkenly fiddling with the walkie talkie strapped to his shirt while you prattled off whined and pleas.

"Am I in trouble?" you asked while running a hand over his arms. "You're not gonna be a 'cop' about this whole thing, are you?"

He held back a snort, peering down at you. He made no effort to get you off of him, in fact, he rather liked the way you were feeling up on him. His nightly patrol was getting a little boring, and he usually had to deal with violent, dumb-as-hell college guys who drove drunk.

Cute, touchy, drunk, dumb-as-hell college girls were the easier route by far.

"Kinda my job, hon," he replied, struggling to keep a stern tone. "How much did you have to drink tonight?"

"Nothing, I swear," you slurred, shaking your head at him in defense. "Totally sober! Promise!"

Bullshit.

"Yeah, right. 'Nothing' meaning every drink handed to you, I assume?"

"Okay, maybe, but I can drive fine!"

"You almost served into a tree earlier," he deadpanned, placing his hands on your shoulders with an unamused look. 

You giggled right in his face, pressing your warm face against his chest. 

"You're funny."

What the hell was he supposed to do with you now?!

Once he clicked his bodycam off, he knew he was going to give in. He was only a man, and men are weak. Something about you, how easily the situation was playing out— it was too tempting. It almost felt like a set-up, or maybe that was just his guilt and paranoia acting up.

He wasn't alone in this, his buddies in the force pulled sly shit like this all the time. No harm, no foul, right? You get off scot-free and he gets a little something in return. 

Everyone's happy. 

You definitely sounded happy, squeals and moans falling from your mouth while he bent you over the hood of your car. 

He knew he was wrong for this. He didn't care. It was dark out, chances of someone catching him low. Besides, it was hard to focus on anything other than the wet, warm hole clenching over him. 

"Lower your volume," he warned, pace unsteady and sharp. The hand he had wrapped over one of your thighs tightened its grip, warning you. "You want someone to see you like this?"

He could see the back of your head shake 'no,' and could hear your moans start to muffle themselves with a bite of your bottom lip. 

"Awh, didn't mean t'shut you up," his voice was softer, hand running over your hip apologetically. "Lemme hear you, jus' don't get too loud."

He was already sloppy with how he was fucking you, but when he heard the pathetic cry that you let out, his body was inconsolable. He wasn't in control anymore, he just let himself be led by pure lust. 

He pressed a shaking hand on your lower back, deepening your arch for him. He bullied your cervix's tip, acutely aware of how sensitive it was. This was far deeper than any guy had ever reached for you, way deeper. 

An intense flush of pleasure ran over you while you came. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the risk of it all, or maybe just the hot officer doing it to you, but your orgasm felt much stronger than you had felt any other time. The feeling of his cum landing on your ass and the sound of his deep groans were just the cherry on top of it all. 

[yuri-is-online]

Jade would be VERY pleased about finally having another club member. I would be happy to listen to him info dump while we look at mushrooms and neat nature stuff.

I let this sit in my ask box for too long but I've had this idea kicking around in my head for a while and then harveston had to go and drop that one line validating my delusions and you've given me an excuse to post it ha

notes: they/them used for Yuu, violence against animals (a bear), swearing at animals (the same bear), Yuu is unnaturally strong (enough to fight a bear), Yuu is implied to have grown up in a forest/woodsy environment, Jade typical blackmail. Other more serious fic can be found on my masterlist here.

Once upon a time, back when you first arrived in this world, you had been unsure how to feel about NRC. Castles existed back home, sure, but ones like this belonged firmly in illustrations or video games; it felt a but nauseating to walk through your wildest dreams brought to life, even if it was exciting sometimes. It was little wonder to you then that the idea of a Mountain Lover's Club was so appealing.

"Did you hike a lot back home?" Trey has that strange smile on his face that suggests you have made him tense somehow.

"Yes. I practically grew up in the woods." The flow of wind through the branches, the smell of fresh rain on the decomposing earth below, all of it wrapped you in a familiar sense of serenity even if the tree line was completely foreign to you. What are men to rocks and mountains after all? You could make yourself right at home here-

"I still don't think you should join." Trey says with all the air of a man who is certainly not telling you something, but the surprising harsh nod of agreement Riddle gives before injecting himself into the conversation convinces you more than whatever Trey had in mind likely could.

"I'm not entirely certain what they do," Riddle has never forbid you from participating in things since you and his dorm-mates brought him back to his senses," but if you want to hike it might be safer if you did it by yourself, assuming you let one of us know when you are going and when you expect to be back. It wouldn't do to have something that brings you so much joy used against you prefect, none of us want that." But he has always expressed concern when he thinks things to be unsafe, and in this case his argument was something you found yourself agreeing with. Hiking is best done at your own pace anyway, why get a club full of self-centered assholes involved in your me time? Though you did wish now they had been a bit more... specific with their concerns. Maybe outlined some of the club's scheduling, but then they would have needed to ask him and in so doing betrayed your interest.

Which would have been much less embarrassing than how Jade actually found out. Because of course he did, was there ever any doubt he would? ~~~~ There is a creek not far up the mountain path behind your dorm you like to rest at when coming back from your adventures. It's a good place to check over the photos on your camera and enjoy the last few rays of sunlight before returning to whatever mess Grim had made in Ramshackle searching for where you had moved all the tuna cans. Sometimes he joined you, and the two of you would have a little picnic up the path a bit further, but that day had not been one of those days. Nor had the day you met this particular nemesis who is staring you down from just across the creek with such a judgmental glance you would think this was a Sunday brunch and not an afternoon meander through the forest.

"The fuck do you want bitch?" You snarl and the bear indignantly sniffs as if to imply she's better than you. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize it was my fault your face is so fucking crooked, thought you were just born that way." She huffs again, making a big show of turning her back on you as you rush to get your equipment off and tucked safely out of reach before the skankiest grizzly you've ever met whips around and charges you shrieking something about "how dare you steal her man!!!!" and blah blah blah "I'll show you, you good for nothing hussy!!!!" as if you could actually understand her and this wasn't a three act play you insisted on writing yourself. You weren't even sure this bear was a girl if you stopped to think about it in between punches, not that you really cared. She huffs and makes a valiant attempt to pin you as you snarl and flash your teeth and beat her right back into the creek laughing at what sounds like pathetic winging about "kids these days!!!" and how rude you are for-

A startled noise pauses your match, as you both turn, harsh glares towards a break in the thicket where a very out of place, very surprised looking man stands, hand infuriatingly poised casually at his chin. His infuriating smirk doesn't unfurl until you growl, deep and low reverberating through your opponent just enough that she decides to leave for the day while you are preoccupied.

"Oya, this is a surprise." Jade doesn't move and you stay firm in the creek, body shaking with unspent adrenaline as he decides to move just a bit closer. "If you were that desperate for a sparring partner, I'm sure Floyd would have obliged, animal abuse is not exactly legal you know?"

"What the fuck are you doing here." You spit before you exit the creek, a flash of something darting through Jade's eyes as his gaze darts between you and your pack on the ground.

"Me? I should be asking that of you. The Mountain Lover's Club had to go through quite an ordeal to get permission to leave the school grounds unsupervised..." His teeth begin to show as you crash down from your high, you hadn't actually thought of whether or not you would need to talk to someone other than a friend about where you were going... surely Riddle would have mentioned something if you did? Or did he not think to ask since he wasn't the adventurous sort? "I can't imagine how the Headmage would react to know his ward had been sneaking out to terrorize the local wildlife."

"Hey Brenda started it!" You snap and Jade looks briefly towards the treeline where a very indignant bear is pursing her lips and inspecting her claws, the very picture of innocence if he does say so himself. "She stole my sandwich while I was taking pictures of the sunset!"

"Maybe you should have had someone there to hold it for you." He laughs, finally moving from his spot towards you and your pack, eyes gleaming with familiarity as he looks over your things. "Perhaps, someone who would be willing to... forget about what he just saw if they accompanied him next time?" It's a threat using what gives you joy against you certainly, and you huff indignantly at it but don't deny his request. Jade is an eel of his word, and his joy at doubling the Mountain Lover's Club membership cannot be contained as he ushers you the rest of the way down the mountain, eager to plan your first expedition together.

Not that he intends to ever delete the pictures he took. Your angry face is just too cute.

[nevereverthem]

Imagine : ✨ ⛓️Bonnie Bennett x Kai Parker ⛓️✨

Just a little idea....

An Imagine in which Bonnie tied Kai up with those chains.

_ Jokes on you little witch ! I'm into that stuff !

She turns to face him, smiling mischievously.

_ I know.

The revelation takes him by surprise. But his reaction is quickly replaced by the appreciation of her knowledge about his kinky penchant for masochism. How did she notice that ? He couldn't figure it out. But here she was, staring at him, arms crossed on her breasts, eyes dark, as if feigning composure before attacking him. He'd let her try.

As he bit his lip from the thought, he felt the chains tighten around him. It made him groan out of pain.

The witch giggles at this sight.

_ These are enchanted chains. You can siphon all you want, they'll never run out of magic. The more you're being turned on, the more it constricts your body. So, don't enjoy yourself too much.

Another cry of pain escapes his mouth.

_ Oh please, excited solely by my words ? You're way too easy, it's almost pathetic.

He straightens up, steadying his breathing. He grins playfully at his executioner.

_ That hurts. Quite literally. Who taught you to be so cruel ? When we met you were so sweet, trying to help your friends. Now you've come that far as to torture me. Why's that ?

_ I've learnt from the best. And you're not my friend.

He smirks at the remark.

_ My pleasure. I take that as a compliment. But that's not what I meant. You've stabbed me in the past, I stabbed you back. We're even. Now, I wanna know what all that fancy is about.

He tugs on the chains to illustrate his words.

She slowly starts to walk in his direction.

_ I wanted to 'spice it up' a little. Knives are way too old school.

Kai eyes her up and down and inhales in anticipation, earning a compression from the chains. He tries to hold back a whimper, resulting in a low sound from his throat that reaches the witch's ears.

_ And here I take the compliment.

She can't help but smile at his cocky expression tainted by the redness of his arousal spreading from his neck.

He shrugs through the chains, easing the sensations in his body. She's stopped a few feet away from him. He glares at her, challenging. As if he had any say in what's happening in here. As if he could restrain his desire from betraying him.

_ How did you-

_ know about your little preferences ? Or your attraction to me ?

His breathing increases, trying his hardest to contain himself.

_ You're not exactly subtle. I caught you staring at me enough times to get a first hint. During confrontations, you suspiciously glanced at my lips a lot more than people are usually intended to. Mister "I don't feel anything" had quite the shiny eyes on me after the merge.

_ You still betrayed me.

His pain-arousal has somehow switched into hurt.

_ Yeah, and you punished me for that. You revel in violence, giving and recieving. You talked about being even. I saw you, knew you fancied me. I kept it on the side of my mind, persuaded I would use it in my advantage one day. And here you are.

Her burning eyes pierce into his. He feels a twitch in his pants, pain coursing through his skin. A louder cry leaves his lips, head falling in exhaustion.

She's closed the distance between them, a few inches from his body. She bends over to his ear, now whispering.

_ I'm not even doing anything, but I could. Teasing you 'till you're screaming in agony.

Another whimper.

_ You'd adore that in a twisted way. Am I right ?

He raises his head, panting, however, he remains composed in his speech.

_ You're the one who tied me up. And you wonder who got the twisted mind ? You're enjoying this as much.

_ Maybe just a little.

She shows him a tiny gap between her thumb and index finger, smiling innocently.

_ Filthy little sadist of a witch !

At his words, she slides a hand behind his head and grasp the back of his neck, eliciting a gasp from the man in front of her.

The sudden grip she has on him makes a wave of want run through his body, along with a whirlwind of suffering caused by the chains.

_ Fuck !

His head jerks backwards, mouth agape from the sensations. He lets out cries of agony mixed with arousal.

After a while, he relaxes in Bonnie's hand, still locked on his neck. He's all sweaty, face reddened, already ruined by the mere attention he's been a victim of.

He hadn't noticed he'd closed his eyes. When he opens them, he's met with a menacing glare stabbing daggers through his irises.

_ Everybody's using me. I'm a great tool 'cause I have powers. I'm too much of a 'good and loyal friend'.

He's stunned by the unexpected confession.

_ Now it's my turn, I'm using you. For my own interests. For my own pleasure.

A moan. Desperation spreading through him. He wants to help, soothe something in her.

_ Untie me ! I'll give you pleasure.

It's not so much of an affirmation, more like a promise.

At that moment, she's the one whose breathing's perturbed. She's not giving in his words.

_ No. It's funnier that way. I've got that little loophole of a day to play with my toy all I want. I'm not finished with you yet.

He can't help but groan at her statement, jolting from the pain caused by his restrains. Staring at her face, he almost can't believe it when he notices the glimmer of lust in the witch's eyes.

_ Bonnie Bennett.... I didn't know you had that of a wicked side.

Her grip on his neck tightens. She moves her head closer to his, lips an inch away from his own. So close she's able to swallow the air coming from the whimper escaping his mouth.

_ You have no idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✨⛓️ Thoughts ? ⛓️✨

Update : [Part 2 here]

The Vampire Diaries Masterlist

[sebastianswallows]

okay so like maybe 7th year Sebastian but like taking a fluffy shower together? Like he's all like 😍😍😍 and MC is like 🤭🤭🤭 iykwim

My sweet anon 😭 My poor little nonny. You sent this ask, like, a month ago, and I just barely now got to it. I'm so so sorry. I really was caught up in other stuff and other WIPs.

But I finally have it for you 💚 I hope you enjoy it, my dear! I kept it fluffy and flirty for you 😘

— PAIRING: Sebastian Sallow x F!MC [both 7th year]

— WARNINGS: Idiots in love, requited unrequited love, a lot of banter, sneaking glances and looking disrespectfully but also respectfully and just looking, a lot, while naked and wet

— WORDCOUNT: 2.4k

It was their third day travelling together, chasing after a relic that Sebastian was certain was once the property of Herpo the Foul. He didn’t care that Herpo had lived in Ancient Greece, no, somehow Sebastian was convinced that one of his artefacts ended up in the Scottish highlands.

“It makes perfect sense if you cross-reference the footnote from the Dictionnaire Infernal with the artist’s signature from the 7th illustration in the Compendio de i Secreti Rationali and —”

“Sebastian, need I remind you that you can speak neither French nor Italian?”

They shouted at each other as they crossed a mounted wilderness, climbing over rocks, tripping, heaving, and arguing the whole way.

“I have a translation quill, it works just fine,” he said, waving his hand dismissively — which caused him to lose his grip on the edge of cliff he was hanging on to and almost fall backwards.

“And what did you say this item was again?”

“The bowl in which he is said to have bred his basilisk,” said Sebastian excitedly.

“I swear, Sebastian, if we came all this way just for Herpo the Foul’s chamberpot…”

“I know, I know, you’ll make Crucio seem like a tickle, I know,” he mumbled, rolling his eyes.

Once they finally got on stable ground, they caught their breath and looked around. Sebastian checked the map again while she cast a Revelio.

“I think we need to head north from here,” he frowned.

“Yes, about 100 feet that way.”

They had managed a charm on their backpacks that let them store there everything they needed, including flying brooms, but for now they decided to continue on foot and better assess their surroundings. There were clear indicators of where they needed to look, according to Sebastian’s research, and they should have been getting closer. A cave inside an aspen forest, with a river flowing out of its mouth. That both narrowed it down and didn’t.

“There’s hundreds of caves littered all across this area,” he grumbled. “And there’s no way of knowing if the forest is still there from however long ago that book was.”

“Want to give up?” she smirked. “We can be back at Hogwarts in time for the school year to start.” It would be their 7th year, their last, and this is what they spent their last summer holiday doing.

“No. I won’t stop until I find it,” he said. “You’re free to leave whenever, though…”

“Oh please, as if I’d ever hear the end of it.”

In truth, she didn’t want to leave. She didn’t put much stock in Sebastian’s research this time, but she wanted to be by his side whether he succeeded or failed.

What the Revelio charm led them to was an old cottage hidden in the woods, abandoned since long before that map was even made, and right in the area where they intended to look come morning. No more sleeping with one eye open between rocks and crags. Night was falling around them just as the little building came into sight.

It was made of large and heavy stones, overgrown with grass and moss, and had a tilted, somewhat stooping roof. There were an encouraging amount of aspen trees growing around, scattered and few, with more growing thick and clustered in the distance. They looked at each other and smiled hopefully as they finally reached the cottage.

“It isn’t much,” said Sebastian, looking around the little place with Lumos shining at the end of his wand. “But it’ll do for tonight.”

“I claim the bed,” she said, putting her backpack down and rubbing her shoulders.

“Bold of you,” said Sebastian calmly, “to assume there’s any bed at all.”

The place was split roughly into two rooms, one of which seemed to serve as a kitchen, the other as a bedroom of sorts. Most of the furnishings had long since rotted away save for those made of stone. There was a fireplace and a rusty old cauldron still sitting there, and a few wooden stools to show that the cottage had once been lived in.

“I’m exhausted,” she sighed. “And tired and sore and exhausted.”

“I heard you,” smiled Sebastian kindly. “I am too. Tell you what, I’ll transfigure some of these little old chairs into something to sleep on, and you’ll summon us some water, alright?”

With a few lengthening and softening spells, Sebastian could make a pretty good pair of beds for them, with pebbles transformed into pillows, and moss turned into soft green blankets. He spent a bit of time afterwards casting Incendio at the spiderwebs that hung in the corners — after all, getting rid of the furry-legged insects (because that’s what they were) could always serve to make him feel better.

When he was done, he stepped back into the other room. He immediately saw that on the other side, by the two windows, a construction of wooden planks was put together like a little house within the house, and above it were a pair of buckets enchanted with ever-flowing water. Beneath, the stones were softened into a patch of earth out of which grass grew, and there the water disappeared. On the stone windows, which had no glass inside them anyway, were a small hard bar of tallow soap they once bought from a goat farmer in Feldcroft, and a pair of bathing brushes they had brought over from Hogwarts just in case.

“Where did you get buckets?” asked Sebastian.

“I found them just inside the cauldron,” she smiled, her hands resting on her hips. She seemed proud of her creation. “Well, what do you think?”

“I think I can’t wait to get this three days’ worth of dirt off me,” he grinned. “Check the beds, see if you approve.”

“Alright.”

While she assessed his handiwork, Sebastian lit the fireplace. It was small and wouldn’t last for long, but it would do. He sat down on one of the little chairs that were left and started to take his boots off. His feet were sore, his legs were sore, his back ached and his neck was stiff — his whole body needed the gentle caress of a soft trickle of water.

He ran his hand beneath it as it flowed. Not cold, but no more than lukewarm. Still, it seemed a luxury right now. He took his jacket off, and then started unbuttoning the vest beneath.

“What are you doing?” asked the girl as she stepped back into the room.

“What does it look like? I’m going to put your contraption to the test.”

“I made it, I want to use it first,” she pouted.

“Is that so?”

His eyes scanned her up and down. She was his friend… His best friend aside from Ominis. Sure, he liked to tease her now and then, but he never went further than that. She wouldn’t like it. She wouldn’t want it. If she did, she’d have made it clear by now, right?

“How about this?” started Sebastian slowly, grinning in the way he did when he got a really bad idea.

“What?”

Sebastian slid his tie from around his neck — which was already loose from him tugging at it when climbing made him breathless — and then began unbuttoning his shirt, from the top, one button at a time.

“You can use it first, on one condition…”

“I made it, you don’t get to set conditions,” she frowned, arms crossed, but he could tell her hands were shaking. He made her nervous. “But what is it?”

He smiled wider and finished unbuttoning his shirt, tugging it now out of his trousers but not taking it off. Then, he started tugging his belt out.

“The condition is,” he said with a sly smile, “that you can get to it first!”

He had the advantage and only needed to remove his trousers quickly enough, but he didn’t count on her quickly dipping back into the room to get her wand and disappear her robes away. She was naked and beneath the spray of water at the same time as he was.

“I was first!” she said, covering her modesty with her hands and letting her hair fall over her chest.

“No, I was!” said Sebastian over his shoulder. He could already feel a blush bloom on his cheeks.

“Sebastian!”

He threw his fingers through the water and sprayed her face, laughing without any guilt as she turned her head away and started spraying him back.

“Stop it!” she said.

“You stop first!”

“You started it!”

They sprayed each other silly until their hair was wet. Eventually, Sebastian raised his arms in a peaceful gesture and gave up.

“Alright! Alright, you win,” he sighed. “Menace…”

“You’re one to talk,” she scowled from beneath a curtain of wet hair.

Now that they could actually look at each other, they tried not to, standing almost back to back and sharing awkward looks. From the corner of his eye, Sebastian caught glimpses of her, and it was enough to make his face feel warm again.

“Well, I don’t care what you do,” he said, and quickly took the soap from the window sill.

He lathered his arms and neck, then down his chest, sighing as his muscles finally relaxed. The water didn’t seem so cold anymore. Outside, he could see the moon rising in a black sky.

“Give it here,” the girl muttered, taking the soap from his hand.

While she lathered her arms, he allowed himself a smile and let his eyes trace lower, from her shoulders to the small of her back, the angle of her hips, and lower, lower… Even from behind, she was completely ravishing. That was the pretty body that had been hiding beneath her Hogwarts robes? He felt like he’d never be able to see her in a skirt again without imagining those legs, those hips, that —

She caught him looking. He’d been staring for several minutes, his arms frozen in an awkward pose as he tried to wash the side of his chest. The water had nearly rinsed all the soap off him before he even got in with the brush, and his mouth was hanging open. He closed it shut when he caught her eyes, expecting her to scream at him or at least to get angry — but instead, she turned around and giggled.

Sebastian blushed again and turned around as well. He let the water cool his head as he tilted his head beneath it, closing his eyes and swallowing the knot in his throat. He waited for his body to relax, but it never did, it never could around her — not when she was in her skin right next to him.

He looked at her again. She was bent over, soaping down her legs, her hair covering her chest from him, but it was a delicious enough sight to make him moan.

“Did you say something?” she asked, straightening and shaking the water from her eyes.

“Give me that,” he muttered, taking the soap from her hand — but not before catching a glimpse of her from the front.

He closed his eyes and sighed his frustrations away, then started furiously working up a lather up and down his body to distract himself. Behind him, he heard her giggling again.

“Something funny?” he asked a little tersely.

“Yes,” she said. “You.”

“What about me?” he said, afraid of the answer.

“Nothing…”

Sebastian grumbled, but couldn’t be mad at her. He looked at her over his shoulder and smiled, and she did the same.

He picked up the brush and started scrubbing his body, rubbing his arms raw, and his chest and his legs and his back as well. It felt good, it made him feel clean, and each light breeze of air from the open windows beside them made him shiver in a fresh and invigorating way.

Bowing his head beneath the water, he tried to catch another glimpse of her from the corner of his eye. He did. The stretch of smooth skin of her torso with her hair licking down it like an ink spill, spots of white lather where she’d missed scrubbing it off, and enticing little shadows and angles and bends that he wished he could look past to see more of her. When his eyes trailed up her body, he found her waiting for him, as if she knew he would try to look at her again.

“Do you want to say something?” she asked, sounding more smug than he ever did.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, turning away. “Just… thank you, for this. It’s a, erm, neat little contraption.”

“I see you are very much enjoying my neat little contraption.”

“Well, naturally…” he said, daring to look at her again.

She still looked self-satisfied, and for a second, she trailed her eyes down his body as well — his shoulders sprinkled with freckles, his strong arms, broad back — but much like him, she shied away before really having her fill of him, and cooled her blushing face beneath the water.

They finished not long after, all scrubbed clean, the stress of their journey unwound from their bodies — only to be replaced by a new kind of stress. Stretching toward his pile of clothes, Sebastian picked up his wand and undid the water charm, making it stop flowing.

She bent and squeezed her hair dry while Sebastian buried his face in his hands and shook the water off — trying to shake his thoughts away as well. How could he sleep next to her, knowing what her body looked like from such a close, intimate angle? How could he walk with her tomorrow without wanting to see more, to watch her take her clothes off, to see her wash herself again? His thoughts were far away from Herpo the Foul’s basilisk basin now, and he wasn’t even sure he had it in him to be excited when they finally found it. He wanted to stay in the wilderness with her forever.

He needed to sleep, to rest, to think seriously about this, and after years and years he knew he needed to finally confront what she made him feel, and what it meant… He couldn’t wait to get back in the little bedroom.

“Wait,” he said, looking around them. “Did we bring any towels?”

[phoebepheebsphibs]

They live here now

Ok so rather than spend an eternity sketching this out, I'll write it! STORY TIME!

CW: some descriptions of body horror (it's a hallucination)

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau @tmntaucompetition

Prev || Next || Illustration

They'd decided to split up, in the end. That way they could cover more ground. The No Fun in Fungus Mikey had gone with the Until I Found You April and Karai. The others had gone off in their own little teams, with Mikey.02 going with the semi-evil Donnie and the morally grey Leo going with the Raph with anxiety issues and huge spikes on his elbows, taking Misa with them.

Mikey didn't want to pick favourites, but he had to say he was so ecstatic to spend more quality time with Gram-Gram. He'd teared up when he first saw her, and almost cried when she'd suggested that he come with them. Of course, mutant April was cool, too! But Mikey stayed close - almost uncomfortably close - to his alternate universe gram-gram. It took all his willpower to keep from holding her hand, clutching it tightly, wrapping his arms around her in a long-overdue hug. But he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He tried to keep his hands to himself. But that only made him focus on his scars and bandages, picking and scratching nervously at the marks that decorated his forearms and fingers.

"...Are they uncomfortable?" Karai asked, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"Huh? Oh! Uh, well, no, not anymore, really. Donnie got me these really cool compression gloves, and they help a lot. It's just a lot of scarring, now. But it looks cool, right?" He chuckled.

"Then why do you irritate the wounds?"

Mikey didn't really have an answer to that.

"Um... I guess... I'm just not used to them. I know they aren't bad or anything, but... they tell a story, y'know? And... I don't really like that story."

"I understand," Karai said, nodding softly and taking his hand in hers.

Mikey's stared down at the clasped hands. He smiled, squeezing her hand in his.

"Is it alright if I hold your hand? It will help keep you from fidgeting with the injuries," she asked.

"Yes," Mikey chuckled, awing at the irony. "That's fine! I don't mind."

The group pressed on. They walked past the many stands offering refreshments, references, lil kid coups, and villain squads to take over the surface world. There was a colourful assortment of characters they passed, each one having a somewhat familiar Leo with them.

"How will we tell which one is yours?" April asked.

"He's got really noticeable scars on his shell and plastron," Mikey explained. "Plus he's wearing blue nail polish. I painted his nails myself a few days ago."

"I think the prominent shell injuries will be easier to spot than the polish, but that's helpful," Karai noted.

"Look there!" April shouted suddenly, pointing towards a small cloud of blue in the distance.

The trio ran towards the smoke, finding several of the contestants screaming and crying as they tried to get away. Unseen by all, a disembodied sentient hand began scuttling away from the scene.

"There it is!" April shouted. "Get it! We get the hand, we find the alternate Leo!"

April immediately gave chase, Mikey and Karai calling after her to wait, be careful, it wasn't what it seemed. She didn't hear them.

She simply kept running after it, hoping beyond hope that her somewhat unreliable powers could help her catch the little creep. It certainly was fast! It slithered under a team of turtles, past April's reach. She concentrated hard, focused on the hand, and...

Poof!

April landed in a small area a few feet away from the hand, which somehow saw her - despite not having eyes - and attempted to stop itself. It slid on the floor, desperately trying to go in the opposite direction, when April's feline reflexes kicked in and she pounced on the creature. She placed all of her weight on the hand, crushing it under her stomach as she reached down and grabbed it by its wrist and gripped it with all her might.

"Ha! Gotchya! No scurrying away now -"

The hand threw the spores into her face. How?! Where had it gotten that secret stash from?! It wasn't as though it had pockets or anything to carry the extra fear spores in! April hacked and coughed, rejecting the air from her lungs and backing away. She felt the hand wriggling furiously in her palms. She held on to it with a death grip.

"No, no! You won't get away that easily, I don't care what you show me..."

April stood up, glaring at the arena before her as it slowly melted away.

"Now... show me what you've got."

The halls went dark. The crowds turned and looked at her. They started screaming. Faces came into focus... Dale, Kendra, Jason, Jeremy, Taylor Martin: the coolest girl in school, Seigel the lizard boy... all her "friends" from the school she'd had to quit. All of her previous bosses and employers, little Timmy from Albearto's, the guy who always dropped his groceries... they were here, too? And they all looked terrified of her. Disgusted by her. Some people started throwing stones and rocks at her, shouting at her to "get away from us, freak!" A bruise formed on her arm. April's knees started to shake. If this wasn't real... then why did it hurt like it was? She took a step back. The hand kept trying to wrestle itself free. She pressed it against her chest, digging her fingernails into it. It returned the favour. Still, she held on. She turned away from the crowds, only to be met by her mother and father.

"Mom? Dad...? What... what's wrong?"

"April, honey? Is... is that you?"

This wasn't a hallucination. This was a memory. Her parents, loving and understanding as they were, were terrified and horrified when she'd come home that night, covered in fur and sporting a brand new tail.

"What... what happened to you, sugar?" Her dad asked, his eyes pooling with tears behind his glasses.

"I... I know it looks bad, but..."

"We want our little baby back," her mom sobbed. "We want our sweet little April! Give her back to us!"

"What? I'm the same as I've always been! I just... got a little update, that's all!" April tried to choke down the sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. "You... Mom and Dad never said that. They... they weren't - they aren't scared of me! I'm not a monster!"

"Yes you are."

April's eyes widened as the voice echoed all around the halls. It was deafening. She took a step back, felt something crunch and crack underneath her shoes. She looked down, and saw she was standing on a broken mirror. It's shards showed a deformed amalgamation of a beast, hairy and gnarled and bones bending the wrong way, large and warped and horrible! It looked like one of the giant zombie bosses from the video games she played, flesh turning in odd angles and folds, the four eyes burning and glowing but nearly falling out of the face, held in by loosely fitted bags of skin. The hair was snarled and the teeth were jagged. She It had four arms instead of two, and each set looked different. One pair was human - hers, her wonderful beautiful human skin spackled with mangey tufts of yellow hair. The other set of arms were smaller, almost animal-like... she knew exactly who they'd belonged to.

"You are a monster. You meant to save him, but you ended up killing him. You wanted to be his saviour, but you became his demise."

April screamed at the sight, the reflection howling and roaring right back at her. She ran from it, it followed her. The room got darker the further she ran away. She tripped over something, screaming with fear as the monster came closer...

...

"Where did she go?!" Karai yelled angrily. Not at Mikey, not meaning to be aggressive, but quite obviously she was worried. April had no idea what she was getting into with this thing! They didn't even know what that hand really was! It could be an oni, or a demon, or a interdimensional force, for all they knew!

The duo kept running through the crowds, searching for their friend.

"She's gotta be here somewhere," Mikey huffed as he tried to keep up with Karai.

Suddenly, a scream.

"Found her."

The two rushed towards the screams, and found April running at them frantically, her eyes glazed over with a blue tint, her arms hugging the hand close to her as she barrelled towards them. Mikey pulled out his nunchucks to stop her, and golden chains burst forth - one of which wrapped around her ankle and caused April to trip.

"Nicely done," Karai complimented.

Mikey beamed with pride, as the two dashed to April, who was still shrieking and trying to get away from whatever terrified her so.

"April? Can you hear me, April?" Karai tried.

April hyperventilated, her breaths short but fast. She wasn't getting enough air in her lungs...

"April!" Mikey shouted. "It's me and Gram-Gram!"

"Oh please, not you too," Karai mumbled under her breath. She'd save it for later, they had more pressing matters at hand... Karai knelt by the young girl. Mikey danced nervously around them, reaching for his AU friend.

"I can use my ninpo to snap her out of it--"

"No," Karai ordered, holding a hand out to keep Mikey at bay. "As painful as this is, I suspect that if she is under the spore's spell, she can counter it and use it."

"Use it... how?"

Karai ignored him, scooting in closer to April. She reached forwards and placed her hand on her shoulder, a soft green glow emanating from the touch.

"April. If you can hear me, know that you can beat this. You CAN beat it. This is nothing more than a fear, a thought, something you came up with, and as such you can destroy it. You shall not be challenged with something beyond your abilities!"

"I... I can't," April whimpered. "You're not seeing what I see..."

"That means nothing. You can beat it regardless."

"NO!" she screamed, clutching onto the evil hand so tightly that it turned purple. "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! I'M NOT -- I'M NOT BRAVE LIKE YOU, I CAN'T FIGHT WHOLE DEMONS OR CURSED SETS OF ARMOR OR MONSTERS OR ALIENS OR--!"

"But you can, wakai hito, you can!" Karai insisted. "You ARE brave! I have seen you be brave! Just because you experience fear does not mean you are absent of courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the confrontation of it! It is how we respond to our terrors that is what is so important. And right now, I need you to help us."

"H-help?" she whimpered. "What do you...?"

"April, I believe that by using my ninpo, I can connect you to the spores hive-mind. You can use them to search for Leonardo. But you MUST defeat your fears first!"

"Come on, April!" Mikey joined in. "You got this!"

...

April thought about it. The monster came crashing through the glass, roaring at her. She stared it down.

Defeat my fear. Defeat my fear. Defeat my fear.

Okay then.

April stood up, staring the gross frankensteinian beast in its misshapen eyes. Drool dripped from their fangs, it snarled and heaved its heavy breath and growled low at her. April casually walked towards it.

"I know what you're scared of. And it's not that we killed him," she said, tears pricking her eyes as she crept closer to the ugly thing.

It growled louder at her. She took another step forwards. It took one step back.

"And it isn't that everyone else thinks that we're a monster, or a freak, or an outcast. They thought that long before we ever mutated, and it never bothered us."

The beast whimpered as she continued to come closer and closer. Its arms went slack, its deformed body turning in on itself as it tried to get away from her, terrified of her. The broken form betrayed itself, the legs caving in under the body, the stubby little arms cracking under the weight as it tried to hold its grotesque self up. It lay on the ground whimpering and whining and crying as April O'Neil stood over it.

"I'm not afraid of you," she said, her voice wavering as she finally admitted the truth. "I'm afraid of me. I'm afraid that... I'll never accept this. I'm afraid that who I am now... will never be who I wanted to become. I'm afraid that I will hate myself and blame myself for as long as I'll live. But that isn't true. It can't be, I won't let it be," April said, tears stinging her eyes and voice shaking as she knelt down by the monster, which had slowly been re-forming, changing into a proper reflection. It looked exactly like her, before she had been mutated. Her human form.

"I'm not afraid of you," she assured the frightened reflection. "And... and I forgive you, too. It wasn't your fault. You can let it go..."

April wrapped her arms around the reflection, who stiffened, and then went limp, sobbing into her jacket.

"I'm sorry."

The world erupted into light and darkness.

The figure burst into tiny specks of glowing blue light, fluttering away into the sky like stars determined to become a constellation, and April found herself floating, out of her own body, like a ghost. This must be the whole "pinpo" thing Karai was always going on about... The world was dead to her, she was far beyond it. It was a void, but not an empty one. It was filled with stars and light and souls and voices and music and webs - lines that connected one light to another.

"...pril! If you can... hear me.... Leo... find Leo!"

"Karai? Is that you?"

"Find Leo... hurry!"

Right, right! Find Leo. April began swimming in the near-emptiness around her, the realm that resembled outer space. A flicker of light soared past her. She reached out and touched it.

April gasped for air as she became an intangible ghost, witnessing someone's fear as they were spore-bombed... a moth/butterfly creature, watching as a thousand million spiders came for them.

She released the light, and found herself back in the void. So... each of these lights was a person, and their hallucinations from the mushroom spores!

"How am I supposed to find one mutant turtle in all of this?!" she shouted.

Her echoes flowed through the cavernous nothingness. Well, not complete nothingness, there was... wait, what was that?

Far off in the distance, there was a black hole. A dark spot, inky devastation, with nothing but a singular blue spark in the center, dimly lit and slowly fading. April soared towards it.

The darkness was suffocating. It was cold, frigid, and lonely. She had to hurry, she could feel herself slipping away from this place... waking up, coming to....

The tiny light she'd seen was no bigger than a firefly, blinking sadly and losing its will to keep the light going. April cupped her hands under it, holding it close.

And she waited to be transported into the fear. But nothing happened. The light from her hands faded away, but she was left drifting in the black hole.

She was utterly, painfully alone.

No... There was a shadow, floating nearby... A person?

"Leo?"

He didn't seem to hear her. She tried moving towards him, but couldn't get her phantom self to move in this place. She stretched her arm out, trying oh so desperately to get to him...

Her arm ignited in flame and a ghostly extension grew, reached out, her ninpo hand getting closer and closer and closer... but the world began to fade around her. She was running out of time!

"Leo!" she shouted desperately.

He turned softly.

His eyes were half-shut, but glowing an ominous shade of blue. His cheeks were stained with tears, which were also a bright neon glow-in-the-dark blue. He looked like a zombie, like he didn't even register who she was so much as the fact that she'd disturbed him.

He sadly reached out a hand... and touched her ninpo fingers.

APRIL WAS SNAPPED BACK TO REALITY SO FAST THAT IT GAVE HER WHIPLASH, A THOUSAND VISIONS FLOODING IN HER HEAD AND CAUSING HER TO SCREAM IN PAIN. SHE SAW THE DESTRUCTION, THE DEVASTATION, THE PAIN AND MISERY AND HURT AND LONELINESS. SHE SAW HIM REACH FOR HIS PACK AND FIND THE CONTENTS MISSING, HIS DETERMINATION TO RETRIEVE THEM, HIS CHASE AFTER THE HAND, THE ROOM --

...

"APRIL!" Mikey shouted, shaking her as she woke up. "ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"I-I'm... I'm alright," she panted, a cold sweat running down her neck and soaking her back. "That... that was kind of intense..."

"What was it like?" Karai asked nervously. "You were... not really present here. I sensed you'd gone to some other plane, or dimension - when I touched you, It felt like the Twilight Realm all over again..."

"It... I don't know what it was," April said, breathing heavily as she rubbed her arms from where the hand had scratched her... wait...

"Where... where's the hand.PNG?! Where did it go?!"

"You dropped it when you... hugged whatever it was you saw," Mikey whimpered. "We should have gone after it, but once you let go you started glowing and floating and were in your weird trance thing, and the hand sort of vanished."

"That's... that's alright, we don't need it anyway."

"Did you see him?" Mikey begged. "Did you find Leo?"

"I did," she said, the memory of that cold, dank, dark place slowly seeping back and causing her spine to freeze like ice and her hair to stand up on the back of her neck. "I saw him. He doesn't have much time left."

"W-Whaddya mean, he doesn't have much time left? What's happening to my brother??" Mikey whimpered.

"I don't know. But I think he's... he's stuck in the spores. Stuck in the hallucination, and if we don't find him soon--"

"But what's the worst that can happen? He has a heart attack or something? Could he literally be scared to death?"

"I fear it's much worse than that," Karai said, her voice low. "Michelangelo, you told me that the spores were connected to a larger mushroom?"

"Y-yeah, why--"

"I think that the longer he stays in his hallucination, the more... under its control he becomes? He barely reacted when he saw me, he looked like a sleepwalker or something," April explained. "We have to get him out before..."

"...Before what?" Mikey squeaked in terror, his head slowly retracting into his shell.

"I don't know for sure. But don't you worry," April said, standing up and dusting herself off. "I know where he is."

[professor-amaryllis]

:{ A Video file is embedded. Valencia Island, Orange Archipelago. 7/18/24 12:24 pm. }:

The spare room that the two have been inhabiting for just over three months now feels smaller somehow, the already cramped space now crowded with both of the professors’ pokemon. Most doze on the bed or the floor, happy to escape the burning midday heat of the humid tropical island. There’s a coziness to the scene, a rare true calm in the storm of their lives.

We catch just the last word or so of some conversation as the video starts, some kind of joke or story causes the two professors in view to laugh, an air of affection between them. Despite the lightness of their tone and smile Amy looks like they’re about three steps from the grave- deep circles under their eyes and an exhausted aura about them.

Casi, sitting in a desk chair, inhales sharply as Amy, sitting on the bed in front of her, gently applies what looks like aloe to her chest and shoulders. The sunburn is beginning to fade now, the puzzle piece marks slowly seeming to fade away, though from the reaction it still causes quite a bit of discomfort. 

“Hey, I know you're excited to touch my chest or whatever but be careful there that hurts!” There's a joking tone behind the harsh words, and Amy snorts, shaking their head as they both laugh gently. 

“This is gentle, aho. I’ll show you rough if you want me to.” 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“Tenshi, you would crumble to dust and blow away on the wind.” To illustrate their point they poke him in the shoulder, causing Casi to hiss through his teeth before laughing himself.  

“Alright alright, point taken.”

Casi winces in pain as Amy applies more aloe vera to his reddened arms. His fingers linger gently over the light marks silhouetted in her skin, the angles and curves making oddly familiar shapes. “What happened to you to mark you like this, anyway? I can’t imagine it was the sun on its own.”

“I think these were from some sea shells. I sat up and everything scattered all over the place, so I’m not entirely sure.“

“What, were you collecting them in your sleep?” There’s a teasing tone to the question, and they trace a suspiciously staryu-shaped mark in her skin, causing her to laugh and pull away. 

“You mean it wasn’t you?” There seems to be some genuine disbelief in her voice, but after studying Amy’s expression for a moment she seems to believe it. “Well someone must have done it. Maybe it was one of Ivy’s creepy little minions. Who knows what she's been spewing about me while I'm not in the room.” Casi wiggles her fingers dramatically, as if to accentuate the creepiness.

“Her students, you mean. I doubt that she is putting that much thought into making you miserable, Casimir. That’s far too much credit to give her.”

“Not the kids, though they’re bad enough. I meant the other ones, the assistants. Something just isn't right about those two-” “Three.” “Three?? I swear that there were only- oh?”

The houndoom, who had been sitting nearby and watching the two, drops her toy teddiursa in Casi’s lap, her large tails slowly flowing… is that how she wags her tails? It’s hard to tell really. It takes only a moment for her attention to shift back to Bellamy however, attempting to jump up into their lap. She only gets her front paws up before Amy presses a hand to her chest, easing her back to the floor. 

“Dame, tomare.” The professor speaks to the pokemon in a surprisingly gentle kantonian, seemingly at odds with the cold way they’ve referred to her to others. “Fuse.” The houndoom returns to the floor, laying down exactly where she stood and staring attentively up at them. Amy sighs, rubbing their temples, a little bit of clear gel rubbing off on them. “I don't know what to do about you… stop staring at me.” The houndoom looks away, or at least turns her nose away, clearly still staring out of the corner of her eye, prompting an even deeper sigh from the professor.

Casi seems to be watching this situation carefully, an off, unreadable expression on her face. She takes just a moment, and when she speaks she seems to be carefully choosing the words she uses. “She really needs a name, I think.”

Amy glances over at him, looking.. Tired maybe? There's something there that’s hard to put a finger on. “She responds to Houndoom just fine.”

“She’s your only Pokemon without some sort of nickname. You don’t find that a little sad?”

“She’s not my…” Amy shakes their head, a soft grumble under their breath as they seem to reconsider rehashing the ever-present argument they've been having for months. “Is it really so terrible? She didn’t have a name before… I think. I think I would have known.” There’s a small uncertainty in their tone, barely there as they look down at their hands.

There's a pause, a silence that hangs sad in the air as Casi raises a hand, reaching for them before looking at the red, burnt skin of his hand and reluctantly lowering it, sighing. He makes a small noise under his breath and looks away for a moment, deep in thought. It seems difficult to say the next few words, each said with a deliberateness of someone that doesn't want to say them but needs to know regardless.

“...Do you think that you wanted to replace Dahlia? I don't… I don’t know exactly what happened to her. I just- you don't have to tell me I'm not saying that you do I just mean..” She trails off at the end, not even really sure herself where she was actually trying to go with that trainwreck of a sentence.

“I- hm…” Amy seems to move for the first time in a few moments, taking their time to adjust themselves and pull their legs underneath them in a cross position. They’re quiet for a few moments, thinking, their softly shaking hands tracing odd patterns into the orange sheets. 

“I don’t think that she wanted to. I can’t… hm. I can't be sure. But it feels different. It isn’t the same. Even with everything else some part of me knew the others. Some part of her recognized them, she must have. That one, it was different. She wasn't… loved. Known. Something.” Amy finally looks back at Casi, their face hiding their true feelings behind the mask of exhaustion. “It wasn’t hers. Not in a real way. There was… distance. Resentment maybe, I don’t know. It’s.. hard to know much more.”

Casi almost winces, a lot of emotions playing over her expression as she takes a breath and looks away. Something about that seems painful to her, and she rubs her arm in a thoughtless nervous gesture before hissing softly at the pain from her burn. It does seem to bring her back to herself though, a soft shake of the head and an exhale as she looks up again at her… boyfriend? Have they talked about that? I don’t know. 

She opens her mouth, the very start of a word on her lips before she seems to think better of it. She taps a few times on the arm of the chair and makes a thoughtful, if troubled, noise before starting again.

“Well… How do you feel about it now? That, all of that, it was years ago.” She sits up a bit, adjusting restlessly in her seat. “You’ve had her for thirteen years. Maybe not the entire time, but it has to mean something…” She taps again a moment, seeming to try to reorganize her thoughts. Her voice is gentler when she speaks again. “At some point you have to let go of the past and decide what you feel now, in this moment, in this space. You don’t…mm. Don’t have to feel the way you did then.”

“I- hm.” It didn't seem possible for Amy to look more tired, more weighed down than they had been, but this was a new level. They couldn’t seem to look at Casi, and through that neutral mask some kind of discomfort leaked, their fingers tracing shapes on the sheets as they seemed to shrink away from their own thoughts. “I don’t know. I haven't thought that way. I just tried to keep my distance. I was meant to. I wasn't supposed to feel…” their voice trails off as they seem unable to follow that thought.

The silence is heavy between them, both unsure exactly how to continue. Amy glances around the room, almost methodically, the way someone might look for escape routes or hiding places, but they don’t move. As their eyes settle back on the pokemon that started all of this- the houndoom still staring not-so-subtly at them from the corner of her eye- it seems to take the attention as a permission, standing just to lay her head in their lap.

“She’s been loyal to you. She’s obviously affectionate, She wants your attention. She has barely even looked anywhere else since we have gotten here. Don’t you think she deserves to be more than just the houndoom?” Casi’s voice is soft, quiet, but there’s a firmness behind the words that hasn’t been there before. An earnestness. 

They hesitate, a stillness that can be seen as they don't look at their partner but rather the pokemon in their lap. There’s something forced about the way that they do finally move, setting their hand gently between her horns, a deliberateness that seems so at odds with the simplicity of the movement. They both stay there a moment, quiet and perhaps… thoughtful. 

“I’ve been unfair, haven’t I?” the soft words are barely able to be made out, talking more to themselves than anyone else. “I guess I haven't been in my right mind. Maybe I never have been, not really.” Amy laughs under their breath, a short, almost dark laugh. “Maybe that should be your name, hm? It could be fitting for both of us.”

“Wait, what name?” Casi’s curious words seem to startle them out of their own mind, and they blink over at her for a second before letting out one more tired laugh, though this time with a slight smile.

“Delirium.”

:{ Transcription Ends. What are they even talking about...}:

[iwanttofuckereh69]

To properly celebrate @hornyimpulsivity's birthday i decided to inflict emotional damage onto everyone with both an illustration and a fic. Happy birthday bestie <333

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Pairing: Draken (Ryuguji Ken) x Hanma Shuji

Rating: T

Word count: 1k

Content warnings: angst, breakup, mentions of smut

Summary: It's been twelve years since Tenjiku. Draken and Hanma met again when they both were at their lowest. One thing led to another and what was supposed to be a one time thing, started to become more scary than any of them was willing to admit. Now Draken is struggling to tell Shuji the truth. He is after all more afraid of losing him than anything else.  

A/N: Hello, this is a short scene pulled out from a bigger thing so probably not everything makes perfect sense without the context. Artwork by me, and the story is a group effort between me and @hornyimpulsivity. Enjoy! PS. dialogues are written with "-" instead of quotes marks because im polish and stubborn

Shuji didn't laugh. He didn't mock the Dragon for being a pussy that’s whining over a few burned photos. He didn't say anything borderline insulting, trying to be funny, like he used to. Instead there was warmth. A bit of kindness the Dragon desperately needed. A compassion he wasn't expecting. And surprisingly wise words he should probably consider actually listening to. The Reaper was right, placing his hand on top of the Dragon's heart, pointing to right where it hurt. Where all those memories still were, just like he said, as vivid as ever, despite the photos that captured them being gone. Those weren’t just frames, still images frozen in time, fading on the crumbled pieces of paper. He could still hear all their voices. Their naive laughter. Their youthful playfulness. The smell of the beach in the midst of July, the smell of gasoline and the roar of engines. The sweet perfume Emma used to wear. And even Shuji was there somewhere amongst all the others, an annoying brat from a long time ago, with ugly ass hair and lame leopard print on his bike. The same Shuji that could punch the living shit out of Draken when nobody else dared to come close to him. The same one that now held him, keeping him from falling apart.

Draken smiled softly, looking up at him, in those beautiful eyes of his, glistening as if they were pure, liquid gold. It wasn't the first time Draken couldn't tell what twisted emotions filled those eyes of his. But it wasn't the first time either, when he felt nonetheless utterly fascinated by them. And it sure as hell wasn't the first time he just couldn't stop looking.

He wanted to tell him so many things. Make so many stupid, cringey confessions. But before he managed to open his mouth, his lips were already occupied. The kiss was sudden... and yet, funny enough, expected. So many times Ryuguji caught Shuji's curious eyes wandering across his smile. So many times he himself shyly gazed at his lips. He was scared of this longing, he was scared of the feeling it brought along.

He didn't protest, however. Quite the contrary. He entangled his fingers into Shuji's hair, pulling him closer, as close as he could possibly get, angry at the stupid clothes that kept their skin from touching.

Draken lost his balance and leaned over the wall, pushing Shuji against it, kissing him as if it was their last kiss.

(It was.)

It was different from all the kisses they shared so far. This time it wasn't about fucking, it wasn't about satisfying that primal, filthy desire. It was much more meaningful. Much more scary. Because they shouldn't be kissing like that. They shouldn’t be feeling like that. They were never meant to… And yet they found each other somehow. 

- That's gonna be a memory I'm going to hold onto most desperately - he whispered into his lips, holding Shuji's face close, not ready to open his eyes, not ready to confess that it was probably their last kiss. - The one i will probably cherish the most - he added.

He wasn’t ready to let go of him, scared that Shuji would disappear. 

- I'm not just a memory yet, my Dragon. - Hanma whispered softly and smiled right into Draken's lips, before allowing them to connect once again. 

One of Shuji's palms quickly ended up on the side of Draken's neck, caressing it with fondness and occasionally sliding his thumb across his jaw and cheek. The other one eventually found its way to the Dragon's hip. Soon, Hanma's curious fingers were wandering up Draken's body, reaching his waist, and to his backside, squeezing his buttcheek in quite a playfull and weirdly affectionate manner. 

Not yet. But soon. 

Draken’s lips trembled when he felt Shuji kissing him again so impatiently it hurt. It hurt somewhere inside his chest, somewhere where his heart was, his heart that was beating so fast it seemed like it was about to tear apart his chest. 

Ryuguji gasped, feeling his touch. Impatient as ever and yet… intimate. Affectionate. Tender. Shuji’s palms knew Dragon’s body so well, as if he had touched him a million times before. And maybe he did. In this life, or another. He just seemed to know all the curves, all the crevices. Like a lover would. 

Is this what they became? The unintended lovers? That was supposed to be a one time thing. A brief encounter, a chase after bodily pleasure, nothing more. But it became more. Yet Draken couldn’t even pinpoint exactly when that happened. It just stopped being brief somewhere along the way. It stopped being simple and just horny. 

They were supposed to be just friends with benefits. Buddies that fuck sometimes. It’s not like Hanma would ever even consider them to be something more than that, right? Right…? 

And yet, here was Kenny, struggling to say whatever he was about to say out loud, as if those few words would break his own heart. As if those would break Shuji’s heart as well. That was probably the most horrific of things. He cared about that pretty boy, obviously he didn’t want to hurt him. The situation just… got out of hand. But he couldn’t let it continue either, it wasn’t fair. 

- Shuji - he whispered softly, trying to stop all those tender, affectionate kisses the Reaper was placing all over Ryuguji’s lips. He moved back and gazed at him as Shuji took a big draw of a half burned cigarette. Damn he was pretty. Inside and out. He deserved the fucking world. But Draken couldn’t give it to him. 

- Hm…? 

- I… I got back together with him - he said, so quietly that only his Reaper could hear it. He wished he didn’t say it at all. There was that tricky, malicious part of his brain that was telling him to not say a word. But it wasn’t fucking fair. 

[pharrell-the-formation]

The long-awaited (by me) “Underground Blossom” was released today. I played, enjoyed it and want to write down some of my thoughts regarding everything shown there.

🔴 If it’s not already obvious, achtung: there are spoilers everywhere, so continue to read at our own risk! 🔴

🦜It seems that Harvey actually remained enlightened for much longer than people in fandom previously assumed. UB doesn’t shy away from metaphors, but the fact that Harvey actually replaced Laura’s parent and somehow successfully handled responsibilities of caring for a human child, as well as the fact that other, non-important children also saw the parrot precisely as an anthropomorphic bird in a suit, quite directly illustrates that this guy all this time, throughout the girl’s growing up, really was like that, and not just a normal pet parrot. I believe in this version of a story: Harvey the Hotel worker, Harvey the confidant of Mr. Owl, Harvey the Eilander family killer did not die and was not reborn, descending along the wheel of Samsara to the level of an animal. Enlightened ones simply know how to temporarily change their form to an animal-like one, and this is precisely what he did, perhaps in order to hide from the same embittered escaped corrupt souls or for some other reason. Mr Crow did something similar in “Cube Escape: Paradox,” if my memory serves me right, turning into the more familiar for us form of a crow. This would explain why Vanderboom depicted our anthropomorphic protagonist in one of her drawings as a pet parrot in a cage. And also the fact that he retains his completely human mind in animal form (demonstrated when solving puzzles in “Harvey’s box”) can be explained this way.

💧I still adhere to the idea, that Rose in this game was not really eager to resurrect Albert. This idea is rather based on my personal preferences, because Rose, who renounced her father, appeals to me as a character much more, so here I ask you not to treat this exact point as a full-fledged theory regarding canon events. Let's discard my old partially-hypothesis-partially-AU about “The past within” and “Underground blossom” being different timelines (like something similar that has already been shown before - in the Bob’s fate, where in some games he dies or commits suicide, and in “The White Door” forgets Laura and begins to live a normal life). It is clearly not the case; now it is more than clear that one game is directly connected to the other. However, here's what could happen: Miss Vanderboom receives a letter from recently deceased Albert, along with a mission to bring him back to life. Initially, she is interested in this and actively works on the task, but at some point something clicks in her and the understanding comes that it is better to leave a possibly dangerous person where he cannot harm anyone. Perhaps getting closer to her cousins ​​had an impact. So, Rose no longer wants to carry out this ritual, and this automatically calls everything into question, because even though she in the Past may have completed her part of the work, now, without her desire in the Present, she from the Future may not complete hers. A paradox. Albert's soul, of course, did not appreciate the joke and wants to make sure that his daughter does what she should, whether she wants it or not. When Harvey begins to visit to her, she already understands perfectly well that her father will not give up so easily. She understands that he will most likely try to harm her or her daughter. She understands that she may have to make very serious sacrifices so that Laura, the most precious thing she has left, does not suffer at the hands of her grandfather - and disappears from her life. Afterall, She will be better off with Harvey.

🌳 I'm still sticking to my Naraka theory. Rose somehow managed to preserve her humanity even in this form, and she thanks her old friend for all the help, and by giving her beloved daughter a piece of her soul - the petals - she helps her start living from scratch, now not suffering from psychological problems so much. I don’t know how literally the final level should be taken and how much the girl’s return to life depended on the mother (after all, in “Seasons” everything was presented kind of differently), but I think you can perceive it as you like.

To sum it up, I just want to say that “Undergroung Blossom” left me feeling incredibly warm and.. cozy? An impression that I honestly never expected from a game in this series, full of darkness, suffering and all sorts of devilry. Despite the fact that there are such things too, the theme of family and sincere care for someone dear to you runs like a red thread throughout the entire story. And all this is consolidated with such a bright ending, after which even Rose’s terrible posthumous fate is ultimately not viewed as critically as before, which... I can’t. It’s wholesome. As wholesome as Rusty lake game can be.

[cockroachparty]

Chinese VS Taiwanese Warrior Cats Editions

Though written in the same language, the Chinese and Taiwanese Warrior Cats editions are like night and day!

I picked up the Taiwanese The Last Hope edition (right) on Abebooks last year. I just received my Chinese copy of Forest of Secrets (left) today, and I was surprised to find out that these books were produced (as far as I'm aware) in different countries!

The way the allegiances are laid out, the way the pages are bordered, and even the illustrations within the books are all different!

Personally, I think the Taiwanese cover is so, so much better. It's more inspired and overall way prettier to look at. The Chinese cover looks like our English covers but somehow... worse. The Forest of Secrets cover isn't too horrible, but the Into the Wild cover is um... nightmare fuel, to say the least? Look it up if you want, but Firepaws face in that cover looks all but curious and ready to adventure out into the great unknown

From here on out, just so there is no confusion, Chinese version will remain on the (left) side, and Taiwanese version will remain on the (right) side.

I love that the Taiwanese version has a different type of art on the back! So much more creative and fun to look at compared to the bare Chinese version, which is just the front covers art with a green filter slapped on it

*For those wondering, the QR code on the Chinese edition takes you to the Chinese WeChat website... for whatever reason.

The Chinese version looks quite bare compared to the Taiwanese version so far. Just adding the border makes it look all the more finished!

This is just a random page from each of the books. I prefer the Taiwanese borders artwork much more compared to the Chinese one. Really not digging the realistic style they went for.

And, of course, best of all, the illustrations that come up every now and then within the books! I like both versions, but i do prefer the Taiwanese one a bit more because of the sharper and cleaner lines.

The scene on the left is depicting Cloudkits apprentice ceremony, and the scene on the right is Brokenstar attacking Beetlewhisker for trying to leave the Dark Forest.

Overall, I'm happy with both purchases! Though i was heavily criticizing the Chinese edition, I'm still very happy I got it! It's a very nice edition to my ever growing Warriors collection.

[maxiesweetzieluvzie]

ALTERHUMANZ PLZ SHARE UR OPINIONZ AND/OR HELP!!!!!

So I just literally rn found out what Alterhumanz are, n after reading up n finding out some stuff... I'm like.... extremely sure am an Alterhuman... specifically a Polymorph.... but I hab sum qvestionz 2 ask straight from Alterhumanz instead of just googlin!!!!!!!! Just 2 make sure, cuz I rlly dont wanna b disrespektful....

4 contxt: For a long while I've been identifyin as a Genderfluid male-leaning femboy who was an Xtreme kinner (as like a public identity!!!), but some yearz ago I also found out I rlly feel like more than dat!!! So by myself, where no one else saw, I would identify n act in a Godly manner cuz it felt so right 2 identify as a God!!! But then othr dayz I felt more like animalistic, most frequentz I can only describe as like a bunny ghost (timid yet curious lil guy!!), reaper dog (aka like an anthro dog who's mostly void n fluid, very dark n gloomy, so I came 2 call them da reaper dog!) And some form of magical fox!!! There's lotsa othrz as well, but those r da most frequent animalz alongside sum otherz... then therez also sentient objectz, fictional charactrz, THERE'S SO MUCH!!!!!! But somehow Godliness/Xtreme power/supernaturality in sum form is always present as well, Xcept 4 a veri few formz... Long story short, I feel like a buncha different beingz AND NONE OF EM FEEL HUMAN!!!!! N IT FEELZ GOOD!!!!!!! IT FEELZ SO RIGHT!!!!!! Earlier I just thought 2 myself "I'm just an actor, so I like 2 get in2 specific rolez", but now dat I know the terming n I know itz a thing it just rlly feelz right,,,,,,

SO HERE R MY ACTUAL QVESTIONZ, plz I rlly wanna know from actual Alterhumanz on what y'all think/know as individualz!!!!

1. Can an Alterhuman be a single person, as in one being rather than multiple people in one body? So the one person is all the different identities and not different people?

2. Is there a limit to Alterhuman (specifially Polymorph) identities? Can they be anything that feels right? ARE they everything that feels right?

3. How do people who aren't Alterhuman react to Alterhumans? And are you in particular Alterhuman privately or publically? I'd love to hear some experiences, if you'd be comfortable.

4. If I am a Polymorph, how accepting is the community online? I'd love to hear experiences on this as well.

5. How do Alterhumans with, for example, the same identity / multiple same identities get along? This is mostly to kind of clear it up for me!

6. Is it normal to illustrate your own different identities, tag posts depending on what identity posted it, list your identities on your profile, ect?

7. What is it like communicating with people when Alterhuman? (again, specifically Polymorph or otherwise multiple identities!)

8. What are some things I should know about Alterhumans before I am 100% ready to start being open about it? Because currently I am 100% sure I'm a Polymorph, but I just want to know just in case.

9. Is it normal to have a 'public identity' for real life stuff if you're not ready to or don't want to make that stuff public in real life for reason or another?

10. If being a single person Polymorph is possible, do you remain aware of each different identity's/form's actions once they change as a Polymorph?

11. Are there things that are frowned upon/hated in the community, other than the very basic things everyone should shun? (Racism, sexism, ect.) And are there things that are encouraged/loved more than usual in the community?

Last, and most important...

12. Will y'all have me in the community?

TYSM 4 readin thiz post.... plz answer any qvestionz u have answrz 2, I rlly would luv 2 hear it all n neex 2 hear it 4 reassurance as well... plz have a wonderful day, and thank u again!!!!!!!

At da end of da day my identity is mine alone, but I just dunt wanna disrespekt any1!!!!! So thiz is all 4 dat... tysm!!!!

[liskantope]

Half a year ago, I got myself involved in a thread which compared trans rights to gay rights and tried to make a case that, in terms of arguments for each, the issues are not as directly comparable as a lot of people seem to think. A lot of my perspective comes from a sort of an empathy I feel with the non- religiously conservative, non- radical feminist motivations for doubting some of what this social movement is pushing for, particularly with regard to its disconnect with how more traditional people view identity categories.

This portion of a recent interview on the YouTube channel Nonzero (see until 47:43) is a stunningly crystal-clear illustration of the attitude and motivation I was trying to describe at the time, so much so that I think it's instructive and kind of fascinating to watch, even if it's almost so extreme and ridiculous as to come across as parody. (Warning: a certain kind of non-conservative, non-TERFy transphobia, which I'll quote bits of below.)

The interviewee, Norman Finkelstein, feels violently averse to using "they/them" pronouns purely because it would be implicitly affirming what in his mind is an untruth. (Presumably he would not want to refer to a male-presenting student as "she" or a female-presenting student as "he", for a similar reason, but this doesn't directly come up.) He appears to have no other motive, but the motive of not liking to "play along" with someone else's factual untruth is plenty for him. There is no particular social conservatism evident in him; he states plainly that he's fine with androgyny, of people dressing/presenting any way they wish, and that stuff doesn't bother him in the slightest, because that doesn't involve saying things that are untrue. Politically and philosophically he is obviously left-leaning, pro-science, and non/anti-religious in most areas: he repeatedly likens affirming someone's gender identity to affirming that the world is flat or that climate change isn't real or "all the craziness you attribute to the Trump base". Not pronouncing things that imply a factual untruth or deny objective reality is sacred to him as a professor and an intellectual, is what he is saying.

Also, this:

I'm not insulting anyone. If I'm calling you a "he", it's not like I'm calling you the N word or I'm calling you a c*** or something. It's just a relatively stable identifier.

Notice how completely uncomprehending Finkelstein is of the notion that not affirming someone's claimed identity (on the basis of what he believes to be objective reality or established definitions of words) could possibly be an insult or convey lack of respect or qualify as dehumanizing treatment of someone else. That a refusal to affirm someone's claimed identity (on the basis that it denies objective reality) is somehow a form of dehumanization is a completely unfathomable concept to many.

Now I find Finkelstein's perspective flawed on at least half a dozen counts, and fallacious on a particular fundamental level in conflating different types of "objective facts" (something that Robert Wright, who takes a much more reasonable, kind, and open-minded agnostic view on all of this, gently tried to push back on him about). I do think Finkelstein had some good points later in the excerpt about not forcing jarring changes in language down everyone's throats -- this is how I feel about artificial and ugly terms like Latinx, for instance, and I would have had some issues with xie/xir and the like becoming widespread nonbinary pronouns -- but in my opinion these points can't be applied well to using singular "they" for nonbinary people. Moreover, Finkelstein comes across as hardly more than a crusty, curmudgeonly jackass throughout, one who proudly and stubbornly adheres to a disagreeable absolutist view and refuses to open his mind to where his defense of that view might be flawed.

(More minor point: in arguing that mispronouning someone isn't a form of insult, he compares it to factually saying someone's hair is white or that their muscular dystrophy will prevent them from running a 4-minute mile. But, while maybe "insult" or "dehumanization" wouldn't be the best way to describe these things, they are certainly rude in certain contexts: you probably shouldn't call attention to someone's hair being white if they are sensitive about aging, for instance. Similarly, calling a nonbinary but male-presenting person "he" is pretty unkind if they don't want to present as male and are sensitive about it. But Finkelstein clearly isn't the kind of person to prioritize others' feelings over his duty towards "objective reality" in this way.)

But I contend that this is simply an extreme and rather dickish version of how tons and tons of people think, because in terms of the history of social justice and civil rights movements, it is brand new for a movement to be so heavily based in the objective truth of internally-felt identities and accusing people of fundamental dehumanization when they refuse to affirm them. And yet, activist rhetoric sounds as if this is simply part of how identities always worked and what dehumanization always meant, rather than something that appeared on the scene just yesterday.

There is certainly still a major constituency of conservatively religious people who believe that everyone should only do with their bodies what their bodies were "created to do" or whatever, but conservative Christianity is very weakened in our culture since it lost the last major culture war, and I think a lot of people in that camp still also fall into the category of finding it incomprehensible nonsense to say that an identity category is whatever each of us says it is and that it's dehumanizing ever to imply otherwise. I believe it's simply a misconception to assume that the pushback against trans activism is comprised mainly of fundamentalists and TERFs. Norman Finkelstein is an (albeit extreme) example of someone who appears to be neither, and my perception at least in the US is that most people are neither, but that a great many Americans, if not a majority, don't really get the "identity is whatever you say it is" concept and at best are bemusedly humoring it as long as it doesn't get too much into their faces.

(On each day of this past weekend, I was in a different public place -- a bar restaurant and a coffee shop -- and overheard part of a conversation about how "the people in such-and-such social group over there all ask about and share pronouns and a bunch of them go by 'they'", and in context this wasn't being attacked in any way, but it was being treated as bemusing and only semi-comprehensible.)

As Tumblr user Bambamramfan once said, people (particularly scientific-minded, non-faith-y people) really don't like to assert things they don't actually believe (don't have time to look up the post right now; the way they phrased it was something like "Americans don't like to lie about what they believe" and it was in the context of lesser-of-two-evils voting, a topic on which I emphatically disagreed with Bambambramfan, but I consider that particular point to be wise). I wish this were more recognized in social justice activism communities in general, and both that more rhetoric were crafted and ideological assumptions were more carefully examined with it in mind.

I'll end by saying, as I've probably said before, that I'm not claiming just because certain ideological assumptions in trans right activism are fundamentally brand new, that they are wrong or shouldn't become adopted by the wider community. Lots of fundamental ideological assumptions that we are obviously better off for making the default, such as "people owning other people is a gross moral evil", were once brand new at least on a society-wide scale. What I complain about is activists completely refusing to acknowledge or even be aware of this novelty, and so refusing to critically examine it, to defend it on its own merits, or to meet others where they're at.

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. friday we FINALLY kicked off ds9 season 4 with "way of the warrior" pts i & ii and oh my godddd:

firstly, i miss sisko''s hair. the beard looks GREAT it's a HUGE improvement but i miss his hair!! i also kinda miss kira's really butch cut. jadzia's hair is still touch and go...important ds9 topics

drilling changeling combat with odo is SO fun. but like also, such a dramatic turn from like, s1, when he pretends to be objects and doesn't want anyone to remember he can do this, because he wants to be able to spy on them. it's fun and funny etc but i could also write an essay about it. he's allowing his body, once a subject of scientific study that traumatized him, to be used again by his allies as a…if not subject of study again, exactly, a teaching tool. he's teaching them how to find and contain and maybe even hurt his people but at the same time HE IS USING HIMSELF TO DO IT he is ALSO TEACHING THEM HOW TO HURT HIM. yes, they're comically bad at it NOW, but they're just getting started, and it also illustrates how horrifically underprepared they are for his people to come and fuck with them at any time. i can't keep thinking about odo i'm going to make myself insane

spn has traumatized me bc i was half convinced yates was a changeling for most of this episode, since she was in and out so often. but he just gets to have a girlfriend!!! i think it's kind of a shame he never seemed to get any romantic chemistry with the rest of the cast…picard and janeway and kirk all get love interest from the main cast…but i still love watching him flirt and make eyes at this lady

THOLIAN MENTION!!!! my beloveds…someday i wanna see what they look like

julian and obrien doing…whatever it was with the peas. they scripted shot and greenlit this. he is suffering so bad without his wife

I KNEW THEY WOULD START JUST FUCKING CUTTING EACH OTHER EVENTUALLY. right across the palm, too. like speaking of being traumatiozed by spn. jesus.

what in the sweet lesbian fuck was going on with dax and kira in the holosuite…kira basically said no matyter how sexy this is it isn't any good if it isn't real and dax DIDN'T immediately fuck her? star trek's cowardice when it comes to gay people ESPECIALLY dax she's literally kissed women off screen. come on

ODO DRINKING HIMSELF!!! HELLO?

garak getting racially profiled and jumped in his little shop :(

and then we get to WORF……………tbh i was so worried about him changing the atmosphere and i really liked how the atmosphere was already. but the s4 atmosphere is already different in a great way. it was a serious episode w a serious plot yet i was giggling nonstop. and klingon stuff is SO dry on tng and so lively on ds9. idk why i was worried. i am very sad they prince zuko'd him again though

also, the wof/obrien tng reunion…….besties :')

ALSO lol when he ordered prune juice and quark laughed at him and worf gave him the look. this is the most i have liked quark in like an entire season i'm so afraid something bad will happen and ruin it

the dax/worf comes on a little strong ESPECIALLY when i am still sooo :( over no riker e worf e deanna content but they ARE fun to watch. dax seems like a natural choice too since curzon was buddies with so many klingons, i just wish she was SLIGHTLY less forward...this is his first episode...give it time to breathe. maybe odo/kira and bashir/garak has just got me stuck on slow burns for ds9

i do like worf's position here too…he's always stuck in the middle of klingon and starfleet bullshit. it sucks that he got racially profiled YET AGAIN but at least sisko was like "and you absolutely do NOT have to do this" instead of putting on the pressure like picard talking to a bajoran. also, him starting a bar fight on purpose was great

worf and odo conversation………..theyre gonna be so grumpy w each other and i cannot wait

i missed gowran. his eyes are so huge. i didn't always really care when he showed up in tng but somehow he and his enormous eyes have become really special to me. same genre of character as dukat i think

at first i thought sisko was dadding worf a little and maybe he was a TINY bit but i also think it's nice that he's just seeing himself in worf and trying to help him out. i liked all of their conversations a lot because sometimes people are weird about worf being klingon and sisko was actually totally normal and respectful about it. he would never be like worf kill yourself. never.

sisko was SO good in this ep i love when he bends the rules also. getting measured for a new suit and letting garak overhear shit on purpose is very clever but at the same time he's not even trying to be subtle. he knows the right thing to do isn't always following the rule book and he's not even pretending he can do both. unlike PICARD. i think he went bald to flex on picard actually like he does do it better love and light to sir patrick stewart

bashir advising his little guys in the infirmary…please he's so in charge. i also loved him and odo very earnestly wishing each other safety int eh upcoming attack. THEY'RE FRIENDS!!!!!

dukat and sisko were gay this whole episode. i think very seriously there should be a sisko/dukat movement just like there's a bashir/garak movement. i didn't think much of dukat first but i like him more every time i see him. he's just really funny and also gay

quark and garak talking about the cloying qualities of humanity over root beer ??? that was also gay. again, quark in this episode…a breath of fresh air. for once he's just being the fun kind of horrible. also when he wanted to defend his bar and rom stole his weapon lol "i will kill him" "with what?" i love odo sm

i love that kira pointed out the irony of her saving and GETTING STABBED for the cardassian government. times have CHANGED WORF LOOKS GREAT IN RED! he's not head of security anymore but i like that he gets a thinker's job…"worf is a big ugly dumb brute" jokes were OLD AND TIRED on tng!!!

anyway, s4 seems amazing so far. it's almost everything i already liked about ds9 but much more serious and funny at the same time. i will miss the post-war atmosphere since we're not mid-war again but i am really excited to see where it goes

TONIGHT: voy's "non sequitur" and "twisted."

[nostrildamus]

I normally try to space these out more so as not to spam your inbox, but since I know you like whatever crazy shit I’m on rn let me elaborate:

I feel like the whole SCP thing kinda plays into a this like reverse Dr x Patient thing I have (Obviously not irl) where self insert can explore a medical scenario where they have the power, (Or maybe it’s just my deep urge to be a caretaker idk) combined with a shame/reverse comfort kink.

Anyways, all this to say, I’m just thinking about this poor soul who’s just been contained due to their uncontrollable sneezes. Maybe they’ve just developed, or maybe they’ve always had them and have done good at hiding it up until now. Either way, there shameful secret got out and now combined with the understandable stress of figuring their going to be a lab rat kept in a containment cell for the foreseeable future they also have scientists trying to aggrevate the very issue that brought them in here.

Some dialogue snippets to illustrate:

“Listen Doc, I know you hafta “for science” or whatever, but trust me; you don’t wanna be in the line of fire when I let loose.”

“Oh no, no, no! You don’t have to test that one! I know what it does to me and it’s….really not pretty.”

“Puh-Please! *snf* D-Don’t make me! I don’t wanna heh!-hurt anything! Not again-!”

“I-im sorry! *snf* I didn’t mean to break your equipment….again.”

I could go on, (even angstier if you’re a goblin like me 😈) but ye. Science snz for the win.

okay we were already eating with first ask but you really went OFF with this one!!!

You're absolutely right, whatever horny shit your brain is on I am alwayyyyys here for it.

Goddd, the power dynamic, the shame/reverse comfort, them trying as much as they can to avoid letting loose their sneezes, despite that being the entire reason they're there.....as a self insert I would want to take pity on them at first!! Almost go like "I'm really sorry I know being forced to let out these enormous, dangerous sneezes like this must be really scary for you.....but we gotta!! For science 😌"

Maybe reward them after a long testing session somehow, even though it's against protocol...

also I am getting inspired to draw a scene out of this or something now...