#I'm john af rn

[fullmoondelinquent]

[inkzectz]

uuuu im jonesing

they make me angry and violent

[rottingboykorpses]

Guess whos back... Back again... Shady-

Let me stop okay fuck uhm

WELCOME TO MY INTRO AGAIN BUT LIKE THIS ONE IS BETTER

My name is Mono but I cant settle on one name online (i have... a list of names...) (which grows if I hear a name i think sounds cool and ultimately wanna steal immediately) (none of you are safe beware) ANYWAY yeahz I'll write down the names in the comments when I'm done if I feel like it

Also yeah I'm trans + pansexual, my prns are he/him & they/them, and im a minor(ity)

INTERESTS AND SHI

Games : Cry of Fear, Sally Face, Little Misfortune, Little Nightmares, Fran Bow, Mouthwashing, Yandere Simulator, Class of '09 (the flipside can BURN), DDLC, and uh uh yeah i can't think of any more rn maybe I'll edit this one day

Shows, TV, Movies, etc : Scream franchise(including Scary Movie), DHMIS(youtube series ver., haven't watched the recent tv show), Thanksgiving, Smile, Sixth Sense, Spiderverse movies, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Owl House, The Black Phone

True Crime Community : Artyom & Nikita, Columbine, Zodiac, Dahmer, Jack da Rippa👅👅👅 LMAO okay anyway, (i am relatively new to the tcc... its just leik any crime right? So I can mention people like Robert Pickton or Fred & Rose West? neat ok) ROBERT PICKTON, FRED & ROSE WEST, lmao..., uh Ted Bundy, Menendez brothers, I have briefly seen stuff abt Adam Lanza, Alyssa, etc but haven't read abt them/watched documentaries or anything... OH ALSO THE 2 PPL THAT KILLED UH BRIANNA GHEY I FORGOT THEIR NAMES (edit: somehow forgot John Wayne Gacy?? I LITERALLY LISTEN TO A BAND W HIM AS AN ALBUM COVER AM I RETARDED....)

Music : i changed my spotify recently but here's the link to my (unfinished) main playlist

General Interests : I LOVVEEE caffeine so much its a problem, rainy weather, stuff like tumblr, discord, spacehey, etc, collecting trinkets, cosplay(?)(i don't do it often but I've done fem!simon Henriksson & Shaggy 2 Dope, and Nezuko but that was like 2022 and I dont watch anime often anymore), I wanna get into playing guitar, i write stuff sometimes, read obvi, silly willy design/architecture games that i find, i draw💯💯💯, uhm.mgmgmm... yah.. ALSO I READ WEBTOON SOMETIMES!! SBG, JD, VF, SS, ALLAT(if ur curious abt those go 2 my asks and I'll say the actual name im lazy and this section is long af)

DNI LIST!!!

EDIT:: DNI list is kinda stupid idgaf if you interact and are any of these but i probably will not like you + won't respond

Racists, homophobes+transphobes, pedos, anti-para, people who r sensitive to gore, blood, crime, etc, people who defo abuse that report button (js block me istg<3), people on shblr & edblr who shame others for depth and weight, basic DNI's ig?

Boundaries!

Simple stuff tbh, like just dont harass me or my friends, followers, yk, don't be rude for no reason(jokes and such are fine like if u have a tone indicator n stuff or the person is ok w it)

Asks, comments, etc are fine as long as they aren't requesting personal info e.g real name, phone num, yk the drill allat stuff

Anons, pretty pls use emojis so ik what asks are from u, or if u dont wanna signing ur nicknames or alias is fine too

Paraphilia/Kink/IDK? (I may post this stuff in the future, like on my old acc w sh pics)

Necrophilia(im anti-contact to clarify, jus fantasies), blood, knives, self h4rm, su1cide, gore, etc stuff like that ig

WHO I WANNA MEET!!!

Literally anyone who has similar interests n is respectful lmao, I don't rlly block unless i REALLY dont like you so feel free to ask 2 be moots n stuff

OK BYEEEYEYEYEYTE

- Mono

[leonenjoyer69]

*Inbox Invasion* Free ramble card!! Make it a long one, About literally anything, anything at all, can even switch topics constantly. This is literally just for fun.

LGOWKFLEKVK LET'S GOOO 🗣️🗣️

Okay so, starting off strong, let's go music. Will Wood and the Tapeworms, right? A few weeks ago I listened to both versions of every song twice to find which versions I liked better for when I eventually burned CDs (my car is old af, bbg ain't even got an aux, but also her ass ain't got an engine rn 💀) for the albums.

My verdict for Self-Ish? Literally all the songs are the exact same, except Self-, -Ish (which just sound a wee bit different), and Dr Sunshine is dead (which just has a longer outro in the original).

EVERYTHING IS A LOT THO? Some big differences in some songs. So here's my preferences:

6 up 5 oh- Remaster, the "oh how I know how I go.." Part just sounds better to me

(Bones)- Remaster, the radio/tv talk at the end isn't glitchy and stuff, like the OG

Front Street- Original, I like the snaps (tapping?) Behind the pre-chorus, along with the dialogue clip. But, also, I like how much clearer everything is in the remaster, so I'm kinda torn.

¡Akiado!- Original, I am,,,, not a fan of the extra end part in the remaster

White knuckle Jerk- Original. The background(?) Voices are quieter and sound kinda different. Idk I may be wrong about that tho.

Cover this song- Original. I hate hate HATE Batman will wood growling in my ear, please never make me listen to that version again, it was a genuine jump scare. (EDIT: THE REMASTER JUST PLAYED ON MY SPOTIFY AND??? HE'S NOT BATMAN ANYMORE??? IS MY SPOTIFY BROKEN?? PLZ IK I'M NOT CRAZY)

Thermodynamic Lawyer- Remaster. Not really a fan of the robot voice in the original.

Red Moon- original, his voice seems quieter or more drowned out in the remaster.

Lysergide Daydream- Original, don't remember why, so vibes ig lmao, there's not really a difference between the two

The First Step- Remaster, I think it just sounds a little clearer

Jimmy Mushrooms- either, they're literally the same lmao

Chemical Overreaction- original. WE CAN'T STOP HERE, THIS IS BAT COUNTRY 🗣️🗣️ need I say more?

Everything is a lot- Remaster, so then I don't have to listen to construction noises (or destroy to enjoy in general) 😋😋

So yeah, ig that's my dream Everything is A Lot album.

BUT NOW!! more music! But Chonny Jash this time!! Specifically the Ballad of Dr Jekyll and Bargaining/compromise.

First of all, I love the lyrical differences!! Ballad Jekyll leaning more towards blaming Hyde for everything and being way more self-pitying, while B/G Jekyll seems to have more of a subdued acceptance? Like, Ballad Jekyll is a lot more emotional and bitter, while B/C seems to take more of the responsibility. Also!! I like how in B/C Jekyll seems to be with someone else, while Ballad Jekyll seems to be alone. The contrast between the last lines ("but if it takes Mr Hyde with me, then I'm glad to hang" V.S. "so take my hand, hold it till the end") really does show that bitter self destructiveness vs that sad, duty-driven acceptance. AND LIKE UGHHH JUST THE LYRICS OF B/C IN GENERAL!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!

Also, the Mr Hyde Jive? I love Hyde being a silly fellow. Literally just being like "damn, I'm not the villain, smh, lemme go have some fun for you gayboy 🗣️🗣️ (might still ruin lives tho!! I am vice, teehee)"

Yk what? Fuck it, this whole ramble will be music. THE JEKYLL AND HYDE MUSICAL 🗣️🗣️🗣️ I love Anthony Warlow so much, all the Jekyll or Hyde-centric songs are so eoughhhh ughhhhh AHHHH. Favorite songs rn? Board of Governors, His Work and Nothing More, The World Has Gone Insane, This is the Moment, Transformation--I JUST UGHHH I love listening to his screams idk man. also Alive. I also love you, Gabriel John Utterson. His parts are so fun to sing.

BUT!! the absolute hold Board of Governors has on me is insane. Every time I hear the intro begin to play through my tv I look up. I'm literally pavlov dogged to that shit. It's basically a requirement for me to go "THE BOARD OF GOVERNORS OF ST JUDE'S HOSPITAL IS NOW IN SESSION!" every time it plays. I love sassy Jekyll and Stride, it's so funny, like yes!!! The girls are fighting!! The absolute sass of half that cast is crazy. I have every part memorized, I AM the entire cast and recreate it expertly 🗣️🗣️

Anyways, yeah, I love Utterson too, his voice is in my range perfectly, he's literally my bbg. All his parts in How Can I Continue On and His Work and Nothing More? Kdoelvkskfldk I love him I love him. JEKYLL THO? shaking him aggressively (lovingly) I want to chew on him and rip him apart. Warlow's voice for him is so EOUGJDJDKKD ‼️‼️‼️

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW, TYSM FOR THIS!! ILY, LOYAL SCIENTIST 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[hostilecandle]

🍏 and 🍈 for the writer asks pls!

God I'm so sorry for this ramble 🙏😅

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation-

Religious Imagery 😅 lmaoooo. I overuse that shit SOOO much. It's in every single fic I've ever written. Doesn't matter fluff or smut or what fandom, I always find a way to work it into the main themes. Literally writing a long af Price x Reader and its title is taken from Psalms 😅😅 I grew up a gay man in a Catholic military family in the Midwest of the United States. Gotta funnel that experience somewhere, so fics it is :D

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics-

Okay this said free pass to ramble about blorbo so I will be taking that opportunity here lol, so my apologies i have many thoughts about this man. I'll use CoD bc it's the fandom I'm in rn so I gotta say John Price (Both the og and reboot though I'm just gonna refer to the reboot Price for this). This man does things to my brain that need to be studied under a microscope I swear 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I have a whole ass character study of him written that's several pages long and I'm still not done.

Headcannons for him (some I've written, some just vibes):

-This man SCREAMS a good ol future midwestern dad type in the making to me. He loves to hunt and fish. He loves the solitude and quiet of both activities, even if he doesn't get anything. Its just peaceful. There is always a beer in the fridge for when the game is on. When he's got a family/partner/retired (whatever you'd prefer), he's a yard guy (yall know the type). I just feel like he cannot sit still when he's home. He's gotta be doing something with himself after years of keeping busy. He's got all the fun toys like a riding mower that is so unnecessary for the yard size but makes him happy. He's always outside in the spring/summer doing something to the yard and god forbid the grass get too tall. He's also not big on socializing with neighbors, a very much a keep to himself and/or his family kinda guy, but he's always SO polite and the ladies in his neighborhood love him.

-From my own homelife experience but it just feels so Price, when he's home he's AWFUL about just leaving his firearm on the counter or coffee table or bed side. Just wherever he remembered to take it off and set down and it's just another thing to forget where he set it like his phone and wallet. Speaking of, he's terrible about losing his phone/keys/wallet/etc. He has a little dish by the entry that he swears he puts it all into but they're never there when he goes to leave and he has to scramble to find them every time

-He's a coffee drinker (black with just a little sugar) and unironically loves to read the paper whenever he gets the chance. He's a small talker and enjoys it, he talks about the weather, gas prices, taxes, and match scores. He gets bored easily when just waiting around and will chat with just about anyone

-He has horrific night terrors and carries a lot of guilt for things he's done in his job. He firmly believes it was all necessary and worth it for the greater good but he wrestles with himself a lot. I personally like to think when Gaz pushes him on it after the interrogation in MW, it actually rattled him a bit. Not because he felt any guilt necessarily for what had just happened (I don't think he felt any in that instance), but because that's one of the first times someone else has pressed him on his moral convictions. "You draw the line where you need it" is not a belief that comes from nowhere or from a man who hasn't wrestled with himself and asked himself the very same questions Gaz was throwing at him. He meant every word he said though and while I feel guilt will catch up to him in the late hours of the night some nights after years of living like this, he fully believes he's justified in everything he does and it's integral to his character and who John Price is as a person

-He's a staunch atheist. Baptized but never believed in a God really anyways but after the things he's seen, he can't find it in himself to even entertain the thought. That being said, in the bottom of his desk is one of those old fashioned crosses that's hollow that holds holy water and one's last will and testament. Obviously being in the military there's already the records of his will but keeps that in his desk regardless because on the off chance he's wrong about there not being a God, it doesn't hurt to be safe.

He's SUCH a Girl Dad™ in the making. He would THRIVE with having a daughter. I'm talking the tea parties, tiaras, letting her put makeup on him, his nails, all of it. He'd support her in any endeavors growing up and would do his damndest to be in the crowd any chance he can get. He'd be her biggest fan. Pictures of her on his desk, in his wallet. Always bragging about his daughter when he gets the chance because he'd be so proud of her

He's a salt of the earth kinda guy. Just has very classic masculinity. Like he's a Man™ and takes pride in it. But its in the, "I'm gonna take care of everything because this is how I care for what's important to me" way. He enjoys being the handyman around the house and who people come to because they respect him. He has a Project Car in the garage that he swears he'll get to and the back is littered with power tools and lumber

(Okay this parts not headcannon because he not old, he's only 37!!) He's actually very tech savvy and likes things to be as up to date as he can get so everything runs smooth.

He feels personally responsible for the wellbeing of the other main 3 of 141 but not in a fatherly way like people think, but these men are his brothers and he hand picked them, he has so much faith in their abilities. (However he unwittingly becomes a mentor figure to Soap very much against his knowledge and will lol)

He had to shave once for an Op and the boys ragged him so hard he refuses to ever shave again. Genuinely fucked him up a bit lol

He has a temper. He's got a good lid on it 99% of the time but its always simmering underneath

Has a wicked sense of humor. Most people don't know or recognize it but he's actually the funniest person in the 141. He's always cracking jokes to break the tension but he says it with such a straight face before breaking into smile to let you know he's joking.

[destinyc1020]

For 2024 I have a few wishes for the Jacob Elordi fans:

1. Create your OWN blogs. Yall pop into Austin, Z, and Tom focused blogs, say your insults and leave. If you have your own blog focused on JE you can say whatever (inults and all), quite simple tbh.

2. Im aware Jacob and Olivia have a private relationship but the way almost NONE of his fans mention her name (even casualy) and still focus on his past relationships is wild lol he is with her and him being with a woman with her background is very telling to how he is as well.

3. Z doesnt want Jacob now, I REPEAT Z doesnt want that man lol Jacob doesnt want Z either. If they wanted to be together they couldve lasted or got back together by now but havent. They didnt even last a year lol goes back to point #2 where they dont even mention his current gf bt love to ship him with Z. I guess cuz Joey is officially married they feel lik that shipped has sailed and nobody gave af about him/Kaia, but just cuz Z is THE it girl dont mean she gotta b shipped with him. She has her own mind as does he.

4. People dont care for Jacob becuase of some of his cheating "antics" but more about some of the things he said in interviews-he can come across as pretentious, ungrateful and just arrogant. Im aware he is a multideminsional person, like the rest of us, so that may not be what he is like 24/7. Again goes back to #2 where his fans ignore Olivia or just dont get why hes with her- Jacob is probably ALOT more similar to Olivia than his fans think. People can not care for his personality because a lot of the main headlines where his name is included dont paint him out to b the best, due to his own words.

5. There are enough white men in the industry that can succeed at the same time. Like folks been saying Jacob is a colead, and has seemingly been doing well in those roles tbh. But a lot of the actors his fans are comparing him to- Austin, Timmy or Tom- have done more lead roles. It dont even make sense to compare him to them cuz if they were all nominated for something they would be leads and Jacob would be a supporting. Again, dont even make sense for his fans to pit him against them.

ALL of this... 👏🏾

TOTALLY agree w/Point #1. It's a very easy solution honestly.

Can you repeat Point #3 LOUDER for those in the back?? And ewww...I had no idea some people were still shipping Z with JE. 🤢 Umm....he's 2 gfs removed from Z already soooooo..... Like, let's get real.

The fact that she left him and went BACK to her ex is actually very telling.

TOTALLY agree w/Point #4.

And AMEN to Point #5! 👏🏾 JE stans are punching above their weight class right now, trying to compare JE to other actors who've actually done LEAD roles, and have had good box-office films, or have actually been nominated for prestigious awards. Like, seriously.... Maybe one day you all will be able to fairly compare JE to Tom, Timmy, Austin, Barry, Paul, etc... But as of right now?? Ummm....Yea, NO. You can't even compare JE to Michael B. Jordan, Jeremy Allen White, Daniel Kaluuya, or even John Boyega and Kelvin Harrison Jr.

ALL of those other actors have either:

Done lead roles

Been in a huge blockbuster film (in a lead or co-lead role)

Won or been nominated for serious acting awards

Been a box-office draw (as lead)

Right now, JE has done NEITHER of that. So, until he does at least ONE of those aforementioned things, I can't (with a STRAIGHT face) be comparing him to ANY of the actors above.

I'm sure JE will get there one day (he certainly seems hungry enough for it), but that day is not today. 🤷🏾‍♀️ And until then, his stans need to chill....cuz they're looking a little dumb rn.

[daryldixonsjizzrag]

Random modern John Marston hcs and also things I think he'd like (might add more tmmr) some Javier x John stuff (fluff) is mentioned so just keep scrolling if u don't like that - He LOVES canned cheese. Like the American whipped cream bullshit. Javier would constantly be screaming at him wondering where there's 5+ cans of cheese in the fridge. - Septum piercings. Javier gave him one. He cried a little but refused to admit it. When it healed the kissed once and somehow got their piercings stuck and had to figure out how to get them unstuck. - DRUM KITS!!!! That mf would be so loud on them. He got multiple noise complaints from the neighbours but seriously didn't give a shit (he also watched hop as a kid and that's partially what got him his interest in drums and rock and stuff). - Alternative rock. The amount of times Javier hasn't been able to sleep because he could hear "I WATCHED A CHAAAAAAANGE IN YOUUUUUUU" Being screamed by John is just way too many to count. His fav band would definitely be Deftones. He usually entirely ignores the lyrics and only pays attention to them when he's blasting the music in public, realising how fucked they can be and changes the song to the cocomelon theme or smth idk. More under the cut

- Weed. It's self explanatory. - His childhood comfort character was probably Scooby-Doo. He also really liked Shaggy and as he got older grew a theory that Shaggy was hiding a bong somewhere in that van (It's so canon don't lie). - HE WAS A MYSPACE EMO EVERYONE!!!!! - Looked up porn on a school library laptop once because he was dared to. Deeply regretted it. But he didn't????? Idk I'm very sleep deprived. - He either wears amazingly tight skinny jeans like the shit all male teachers wear or the baggiest pants to ever exist in the history of clothing. No in between. - Javier took him to a emo/goth shop once. Probably ALT CVLT was the first goth shop John ever went to. He got some pants, one of those weird chain harness things and a rat skull. I'm absolutely losing it rn and I think at some point I just started writing shit ab myself but 😜 OH WELL /hj. Below are just some random thoughts I have about him from time to time he looks like a wet kitten. it's very cute. Even though his hair is greasy af. woah I just blinked and had this vision of John with like really skinny legs that was enlightening. I think about him alot. like alot alot. I cried whilst looking at pixel him earlier this morning. I was simply just riding to armadillo and started crying because he makes me IMPLODE with serotonin. I subconsciously changed my sleeping schedule to match his pls help. I could put all this in the tags but NO. My brain doesn't want that. I'm only getting 6 hours of sleep per night and I feel like I'm going to die.

[hearteyesmcgarrett]

is it weird to just answer the ask meme questions without actual asks? probably, but i want to yell about fandom shit rn so you can't stop me

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. its obvious that im in a grimm fixation rn, so i have to say nick/monroe as a romantic ship (or nick/monroe/rosalee), and the whole gang as a platonic relationship. For SGA, i'm always a mcshep fan but i honestly enjoy any pairing of AR1. Anyone that has followed me for an extended period of time knows that im a mcdanno (H50) and leverage ot3 truther as well.

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. hmm, not sure? OH some folks doing the sga kinkmeme have mentioned john/cam and im very intrigued

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will. Rodney/Jennifer :( I love Jennifer, but the writers consistently changed her characterization and that relationship felt forced and weird (SGA)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t. John/Elizabeth. I'm sorry! maybe its just because im gay af but to me their relationship felt like bffs, not romantic (SGA)

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? I made that stargate cinnamon roll meme, if that counts

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? ~10 years

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it? i'm a multishipper for sure, but one of the first ships i remember really clearly was eric/ryan from csi miami (circa age like 12)

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? TV!

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? I dont know that it was entirely tumblr, but yeah, Voltron. The fandom was truly fucking awful

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.) uhhhh, like every show tbh. 99% of the shows i watch came from tumblr or online friends

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc? Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. hmm, I guess Adalind counts as a character who isnt one of my faves. She's a complex and interesting character, and its clear that a lot of her decisions come from a place of trauma. After having Diana it really shows that she does want to protect her and keep her safe (grimm)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. Ronon (SGA), Hardison (Leverage), Teal'c (SG1), etc

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom 1. men showing emotions!!! (grimm does this well, thankfully) 2. on a similar note: depicting how the shit these characters get up to is traumatizing and how that impacts them long term 3. literally any canon queer rep. can we PLEASE have a show like stargate or grimm where one of the characters (especially a man) is canonically queer? is that so hard???

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? Forfeit by Rise Against always makes me think of ascended Daniel/Jack (SG1). Oh and ever since i saw a gifset with lyrics from it, Timberwolves at New Jersey by Taking Back Sunday makes me think of John (SGA)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). one of these fuckin days i am going to write a baseball SGA AU

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. As previously mentioned: Voltron because the fan base was toxic and awful

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? all my favorite fandoms are themed around found family so this is so hard lmao. Nick & Hank (Grimm), Eliot & Harry (Leverage Redemption), Harry & Breanna (LR), Don & Charlie if brothers count (Numb3rs), etc

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon anyone who reads my H50 fics knows that i will fuckin die on the hill that Danny has an anxiety disorder

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?  besides anxious danny, I'd say John having ADHD (SGA), and Monroe being bi (Grimm) are two right off the top of my head

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites 1. Steve McGarrett (H50) - he's been through so much shit, but he's still so damn loyal and protective and kind. He's such a good dude who is just traumatized beyond belief. 2. Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs) - besides the fact that i am CONVINCED he has ADHD, he's just so fucking loving and passionate about his work and the people he loves. he balances out the hardness of Don and the gang with the sheer size of his heart 3. Eliot Spencer (Leverage) - basically the same reason as steve. I have a type.

V - Which character do you relate to most? this is tough. probably Daniel (SG1) - esp early seasons - because of similar worldviews and interests and personalities, and Danny (H50) because of similar personalities

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. MISCOMMUNICATION!! its so frustrating.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom. im a big ol softie so i love stuff like mutual pining, hurt/comfort, etc.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms Good Omens is a big one rn lmao. I've read the book but haven't watched the show. Also, Daredevil probably. I watched at least the first season years ago, but haven't seen anything beyond that. I still enjoy seeing people's posts about it and i read fic sometimes

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! im so cranky rn about the lack of depiction of trauma/mental illness/neurodivergence/etc in fandoms where its to be expected. like with Grimm rn, you give Nick PTSD and sensory enhancements but then suddenly forget about them?? that's not how that works! Or why is it always just hinted at that characters are ND? why is it so hard to just be like 'yeah no x has ADHD (or whatever)'? i want to be able to actually have complex/tough/interesting/etc protags that are ALSO neurodiverse. if we're all reading John as having ADHD (SGA) or Parker being autistic (leverage) anyways, why can't these things just be intentionally part of the character

[eternallyfallingfromgr8ce]

I'm John af rn

[navigating--thru--life]

17/10/2024

TIME; 11:30 AM

So if I shud talk abt today. There is actaully nthg to talk about. God that was SO lame. Anyway I woke up at like 8 and all I did was scroll thru insta. I have like nothing to do in life. like srsly. Idk I couldn't get into a college. Ofc not the end of the world but pretty much its like that for me. I wanted to go for nursing and I couldn't get into one either cause of my marks or cause I'm broke af. Um yeah so basically my life is pretty down and uk wts worse The people!!!! they just make you feel sm more miserable about everything in life. I didn't wanted to take a freaking gap year. I always hoped THAT I would get into one. But I didn't welll! wt can I do? Sometimes things just go all the way around of wt you actually prayed for. What can we do? Some people just makes me feel pathetic cause I couldn't get into a cllg. I'm so scared about my future. idk wt ever is gonna happen or wt could ever possibly go right? I just wanted to have that peace in life uk. Where I could just have experiences, meet new people and just simply GROW. My dreams were Go to cllg, get some friends, going out and just enjoying my life as it is. But all I got is no cllg, I do have my scl friends who got into cllg or who are actually doing smthing with life,( I'm so happy for them tho! like I'm so proud) and absolutly no going out, NO enjoyment BUT! clearly rotting in home. Dude!! like I wake up, I go to church, I eat, I scroll, I eat, I scroll again, I sleep AND OVER TO THE NEXT DAY DOING THESE ALL OVER AGAIN. This is all that've been happening for the past 4-5 months. It's a freaking loop like dude no wonder I got issues.

so Ig I rlly need to get out of this situation. So as a part of my plan, here's today's list;

PRIORITIES OF THE DAY

GETTING CLOSE TO JESUS- Now how do I do that? Bible helps ryt! imma read bible today yeah I asked Chatgpt to MAKE a schedule for me to read bible and today acc to Chatgpt imma read genesis 1 and 2 then john 1 and psalms 8 yeah I'm doing it if that's gonna help imma do it.

SECOND PRIORITY OF THE DAY - LET'S LEARN A LANGUAGE. SPANISH SOUNDS GOOD. I WILL TAKE DUALINGO LESSONS.

AFFIRMATIONS? yeh I kinda need positivity rn which idk if will ever work!!!!

TIME-8:00PM- updates

Yeah so I read bible today. Felt good ofc. Also went to church my mood was sm better. Felt closer to GOD. Also gave him an updation about my life (like he doesn't know wts going on)

I sat outside for almost 15 mins( waw that's like a lot *eye roll*) and wrote my journal. Ik that was like not on my list but Ig I wanted it today. It was very therapeutic. Just nature and writing with music in headphones. ITS A VIBE. Felt pretty calm. despite of hw my mood was in the mrng, evening felt good.

hola! Mucho guesto

So that was Hi and nice to meet you in Spanish. Its pretty fun actually I like Duolingo but I have no commitment. Hopefully I can work on that thru this as well.

then affirmations which I did and which had no effect. I mean its the first day wt do u expect.

So what now I don't feel like anything now. I mean its much better feeling than wt was there in the mrng. Yeah Ig imma end it heree.

gracias!

-Ann

[nadineselfships-archived]

BABIE

[fandom-hoarder]

copy/pasting my live react i sent to @cordellwinchesterwalker

Watching TWin now. The opening has nice vibes but now I'm on the johnmary meetcute and it's...awk af

Goddd this girl's face is just claire i cannot 

John and mom are ok so far. Nothin to write home about 

This scene transition into the demon fight was sooo anticlimactic wtf

Ok i am SERIOUSLY side eyeing Mary's ability with demons. I feel like i need to watch the spn flashbacks again

Whyyyy is mary giving up all this fucking expositionnnnn 

Why would you have an anti possession medallion that you have to HOLD instead of having it on your person on a necklace or something? Ffs🤦‍♀️

WHY are they introducing a scar we have never heard of before? We have SEEN John's arms

Goddd did the writers base mary on reincarnated mary and not watch the fucking flashbacks?

Why is the pacing boring af

John is not reading like a former marine that signed up illegally at all. A draftee that never wanted to go, maybe

Ohhh god it's the demon part from the trailer lmfao whyyyyy

I was sincerely hoping that was a thing that got cut for tone omg

At least they took out that ridiculous scooby reaction shot

But WHY THE FUCK would carlos have a newbie read the fucking exorcism?? It's not a normal thing to know how to fucking pronounce

I kinda like carlos just as a character and I'm on board for john/carlos already...

Sighhhhh not just the slutty bi stereotype but the flippant kind that can't be bothered to care about the other people they're slutting with? This is Not On. Make the slutty bi poly and compassionate i am fucking BEGGING people

Got a text from Jpop to stop yelling :/

This expositionnnnn is soooo ridiculously funny to me lmao 

Is this accent for Latika the actress' real accent 🤔

Ok Carlos has had the best lines so far

"The only thing worse than how it starts for a hunter is how it ends"

Unfortunately i like Carlos' van a lot

Lol john/latika fakeout PUH-lease. AU where no one gets together how they're supposed to 

So are they insinuating samuel knew about the fucking mol and never said anything or even looked for their compound while working with crowley? 🙄

Indiana jones vibes

Lmfao a commercial started as soon as the monster showed up but was that the afanc from bbc merlin lmao 

Lmao already with the self sacrificing... first marine behavior 

Convenient silver in his arm lmao

Plot twist: john becomes a loup-garou cuz he gets blood in his mouth

(Can't remember the lore rn)

(NOT THAT IT MATTERS HERE LOLOLOL)

So John's MOM knew too???? Wtf IS this?? I NEED more than the promise that everything will make sense by the end. I NEED THEM TO SAY SIKE THIS IS AU

I AM REBELLING AGAINST SWEETENED COFFEE JOHN. IF THAT'S WHAT HE DRANK SO WOULD DEAN AND SAM WOULD'NT EVEN IF HE HATED BLACK

IS JOHN SWITCHING TO BLACK COFFEE PART OF HIS CHARACTER'S JOURNEY😏😏😏

Goddddd PLEASE why does the styling look like 90s "retro 70s" fashion

Hahhhh ok, dean voice actually sounded like dean voice this time and thank fuck they didn't have that awful windy hair shot where he's unrecognizable. His gaze at the samulet-- i was expecting but OHH??? SO SAD LOOKING

I am making a HUGE LEAP here but what if sammy is missing and that's the only reason dean is trying to find out what happened lolol the akrida have him

[vaelaerion]

Supernatural | Dean/Sam | S12 AU #Perceived Unrequited Love + #Disapproving!Mary ✿ If you like my writings, please consider buying me a ko-fi! ✿

“Sam?” Sam startles when he hears Mary’s voice. He turns to find her standing hesitantly in the doorway of his room with a look of worry on her face. “Can I have a quick word with you—privately?”

A rush of panic quickly jolts down Sam’s body at hearing Mary’s emphasis on that last word—they’re already alone here, Dean’s not even in the bunker at the moment, he’s out buying groceries—but he squashes the unease away. He gives Mary a small, slightly strained smile, “Yeah, of course, Mom.”

When Mary walks in and closes the door behind her, Sam’s heart instantly skips a beat before it starts to pick up speed. 

“Sam…” Mary’s voice is soft, gentle, but it does nothing to ease Sam’s anxiety, “since I’ve been back, I just...” 

The next words Mary speaks are lost to Sam—yes, he hears them, he understands them, but the shock at actually hearing his mother voice the words—

Sam... I can’t help but notice the way you...look at Dean.

You two are brothers. 

I know I was gone for so long, but I just can’t stand by and— 

Sam, it’s not right for you to look at him like...that.

—makes his stomach turn as panic floods his chest.

“Sam?”

When Sam pulls himself away from his thoughts, from his panic, he sees that Mary’s watching him. She looks apprehensive yet there’s something else in her expression that Sam can’t decipher right away. It takes Sam a moment to realize she’s still waiting for his reply.

“I…” Sam tries to ignore his frantically beating heart, the abrupt heaviness that has lodged itself deep inside his chest, the way his lungs feel uncomfortably tight as if they’re about to give way at any second. “Mom, it’s not…” 

He wants to deny the accusation, to say he doesn’t look at Dean like that—like Dean hung the sun and moon and stars above, like Dean means more than the world to him, like Dean is the one Sam wants to spend the rest of his life with—but it’d be a lie, and right now, the words are lodged in the back of his throat. 

After a few seconds of silence, Sam feels his voice crack when he speaks his next words, “It’s...one-sided. Dean doesn’t—” he quickly corrects himself, “Dean won’t know. I promise. Please.”

He adds that last word—a soft, broken ‘please’—after a moment, unsure of what exactly he’s asking for. For Mary to not tell Dean? For Mary to not bring this up ever again? For Mary to have mercy on him because his heart can’t stand the way she’s been looking at him since she walked into his room? The stark look of wary apprehension, as if she didn’t know how to approach him, as if she’s almost afraid of him. 

Sam’s been looked at like that by nearly everyone in his life, but now to add his mom to the mix? It hurts.

It’s the doubt written plainly on her face, as if she doesn’t believe his words, that finally makes Sam look away.

“I promise I won’t…” Sam doesn’t know what he’s about to try and promise, but panic and despair are tearing away at his heart and he feels the need to say something, anything so Mary can leave. “I’m trying to…stop. I promise I’ll try harder.”

It’s not an absolute truth—Sam has been trying to stop looking at Dean like that for more than half of his life now, without success. Though Sam now knows his feelings for Dean will always be there, that he will never stop feeling the way he does entirely, he can still say he’ll try, because he always is trying to stop thinking of Dean as more—even when Sam knows it’s a hopeless endeavor.

But Mary doesn’t have to know that.

“Alright,” Mary stands there awkwardly, and Sam finally turns to look at her as she walks away and opens the door again. “I… Sam, I love you, but…please keep what I said in mind, okay?”

Sam can still feel his heart thudding painfully in his chest. “I will.”

Mary only nods then as she leaves and closes the door behind her.

The silence that follows comforts Sam for a moment. Then, with a sigh, Sam gets up and approaches the door. He pauses for a moment before he locks the door and turns back around to lie down on his bed.

For a moment Sam merely stares blankly at the ceiling above him, then, following a large inhale, he closes his eyes and lets himself drown in his own thoughts.

[leglessjoekeery]

Okay so it's the third of March 2022 and I have decided to live post whatever it's called supernatural because I hate myself.

I am currently on season 2 episode 1 and I'm 26 minutes in so 💀

Anyways

WHY DID HE CUT HIS HAND. JOHN. DOES THE THING REQUIRE HIM TO CUT HIS HAND??? WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE HAND???? WHY

is he gonna burn his blood

I think he just burned his blood

GOD TAHT GUY SCARED ME

Oh shit he's a dude not a dude

'suicidally reckless' perfectly describes all the winchesters tf do you mean

I'm so sorry but I head that "don't cha" and immediately my brain went "DONT CHA WISH YOUR GF WAS HOT LIKE ME" I'm so sorry

I'm Canadian btw 💅

Omg a deal with devil John you sussy baka

I LOVE THEM USING THE OUIJI BOARD SM ITS SO SILLY AND GOOFY

Crying at Sam rn

I really don't like this reaper

She sounds kinda nice tho I think I might just HAHHAHAHA IM NOT INTO PRUDE CHICKS WHY DID I FIND THAT SO FUNNY HA

Can you tell I have adhd yet

Girl I have seen so many spoilers for this show I know he isn't gonna die. At least forever.

WHY WAS THE "that's just facts 🤞💅🤪" SO FUNNY???

Girl you can't stop Dean Winchester stop fooling yourself

John r u sure this isn't a trick

Omg it's that guy who's kids Dean killed

WHAT ABOUT SAMMY WHAT WHO ARE THE OTHER KIDS WHAT

John please have a better plan than this I beg

What do you want sir

Why does she sound sad and should I use they them or she her bc its a reaper like what pronouns do reapers use THE LIGHTS??? WHAT OMG WHAT WHAT THE SHIT BISCUIT OMG SHW HAS YELLOW EYES WHAT THE

HES CHOKING WHT OMG???

Omg he's doing good again

HE DOESNT REMEMBER??????????

Did John just call his child dude. Bro.

John "specific" Winchester

Bro is he a dude again or what

Omg Dean Winchester lore??

ITS OKAY DAD OMG THATS SO CUTE

Crying.

Dean must be thinking "girl stop acting sus af 😒"

BRO IS HE GONNA DIE WHAT

What is he whispering WHAT IS HE WHISPERING

Why are they crying omg what

I thought he was gonna off himself for a hot sec omg

WAIT WHAT HES ACTUALLY DEAD WHTA

That poor coffee 😕

Bro John pls

Ah shit bitch dick NO HE DIED IN THE AM

Okay next episode time woohoo 🤪🤪

Bro I love clowns they're delightful

Except for that one he's sus

Omg where'd he go

That kid looked like lily from modern family for a sec

Why is he outside her window 🤨 very sus

NO DONT OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

BRO IS THAT HER ON THE SPIT OR WHATEVER ITS CALLE oh thank god it's just john

Girl stop lying this is why yo daddy dead. Dead as hell. What shoes he got on. What shoes he got on in that mummy looking ass cacoon.

Omg he's re building the car❗❗ let's gooo

Bro you were just in a coma and then ur dad died stop it listen to sam

Ellen as in Ellen Ellen? Like the show host??

I FEEL LIKE A FRIGGIN SOCCER MOM HAHAHAH

Is that man dead

Man(?)

OH GOD PLEASE LET THAT BE A RIFE HAHAHHAH

Ooh she got moves

In love with these badasses

Omg Ellen she's so much better than I thought she was gonna be

Lmao they can't ask him he's deaaaad

No, ma'am he's real dead. He's not doin good.

Yes, who is ash

Omg I love him too

Omg he's a smart bimbo

HE WAS STRUCK BY LIGHNING??? he's so cool.

Gender envy.

How old is this kid

HOW OLD IS SHE

Dean that is literally perfectly describing you

KILLER CLOWN?? WHAT IS THIS 2016???

SAM IS AFRAID OF CLOWNS HAHHAH

bro I almost forgot that Dean is afraid of flying LMAO

Omg is Sam a dude

"ur not like urself" omg where have I heard that before

That child is a MOOD

nvm we're breaching into non-mood territory

So true kids dad 🙏 so true 🙏

Oh shit no what no he's in the house in the dad's bedroom aw hell nah

Those are NOT the clowns ur looking for my duded

Bro can I be a smart bimbo

TRYING TO FIND A NEEDLE IN A STACK OF NEEDLES HA

Dean no what stop hate criming people

He does look just like his daddy.. sus 🤨

2.5 KIDS??? HOW???? IVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT PLS SOMEONE HELP /SRS

I hate those mirrors

Omg is this gonna b like Phil dunphy. Is HE gonna be the clown 😧

Yo is that James Potter?? (Iykyk)

"your blind man hearing is outta control" 💀

Is Dean supposed to be the one giving me gender envy bc he's not. It's Sam. He just has so much GENDER

I WANT HIS GENDER

You are a white man outside of a black family's house PUT THAT GUN AWAY

She looks so happy 😕

THE CLOWN SURVIVED THE GUNSHOT???

John and Ellen??? NO, DEAN. NO.

"I stg the next person I see who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches. These are your issues. Quit dumping them on me" 😧

"IM DEALING WITH DADS DEATH, ARE YOU?" BRO

OW I WAS JUST CHEWING ON MY CHEW NECKLACE AND I THINK I BROKE MY JAW 😭

Anyways the supernatural grind never stops 💪💪

They sleep on a bed of dead insects? 😰

I KNEW IT. I SAID HE WAS SUS. I FEEL GODLIKE RN

Oh no he has a gun

THE CLOWN SUIT. THE CLOWN SUIT.

AGAIN, I FEEL GODLIKE.

Bro what just happened I'm so confused

Omg is Mr clown man nakey 👀

THE WAY HE JUST STABBED THAT DUDE??

Does Jo have a crush on Sam or Dean I can't tell

❗SMART BIMBO IS BACK❗

MIT??? HE SMART SMART

Dean pls dust ur car

DEAN HUG UR BROTHER

IF YOU GO BACK TO TO oh shit he broke the windows omg he's breaking his car he's having a mental breakdown no stop what

Dear Winchester brothers,

Hug each other.

Sincerely,

Bread

Anyways I gotta go to bed now 🙄 I'll continue tomorrow during school ig 😒

[inspiteallthedanger]

About that pic of John water skiing. Either I'm a bit slow today, or I'm missing something here (admittedly, I don't know much about the photographer), but why wouldn't John be upset about his looks? I mean, his body image issues are quite well known, aren't they? I think I'm missing sth here tho...are people saying John and the photographer had sth going on?? Or was there beef between them? Lmao I'm so confused rn (anyway he looks soooo fit in that picture help)

Firstly the most important thing is to start at the end. Yes. He looked fit af. His arms. Gahh.

But, otherwise, I don’t think you’re missing things, tbh. I’m not sure what other people are saying, but in my tags, I just meant I doubt it was this one picture that got him pushed out.

Obviously, that’s not impossible. If John was shouting about it he must have been annoyed with it - exactly as you’ve said. I just suspect that John must have already had some other reason to be annoyed at him, because that seems more logical. I don’t know what that would be. Could be anything. Perhaps he’d continued to take photos of John that he wasn’t comfortable with. I’m sure that’s annoying when the guy’s job is to take flattering photos of you.

But who knows. Maybe John was in a bad mood, took it out on him for this one small thing and then didn’t back down from it because he felt awkward. I just doubted this was an entirely isolated incident - as you say, perhaps they didn’t vibe or something.

[izzy-b-hands]

I keep accidentally typing elron John when trying to tag Elton stuff tonight

What this means is now I have an image of Elton as Elrond, utterly fed the fuck up with the fuffing over what to do with the ring, making the fellowship whoever he picks because goddamn it yes this is a house of rest but not if you're gonna fkn argue in my home

He'd look absolutely lovely in like red and orange and yellow robes too, or a mix of purples and blues....

I'm high af so I've got no fic writing done rn to support this but tell me it wouldn't be lovely