#I'm hoping making a post about it will help me make it true haha
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I will be productive today ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
Let's go let's go~
#ahhhh#I'm hoping making a post about it will help me make it true haha#my brain isn't wanting to turn on so I am going to have more coffee#I've been setting daily goals for myself but the day goes by so fast??#I really hope I can get stuff done today even if it's already noon#I was having a paranoia episode where I thought I had poisoned myself even though realistically there's no way I could have#and tbh being awake is overwhelming and makes my brain hurt :')#I wonder what I'll do if I ever work outside of the house like am I always just gonna want to disappear all the time?#blegh#anyway#I am trying
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when i see a post from you at almost 4am like now I think “la cocotte de Paris is ok. I can go to bed now”
Ha, you checking up on me?
#next time keep me company 😘#besides like any true tumblrina i cry about my problem then when I'm finished i act like nothing happened#just need a sheepskin rug to cry into to make my melancholia and depression a more aesthetically pleasing experience for myself#...well it might help a little. won't solve anything ofc lol#nah i was just overwhelmed earlier but now I've regained perspective#tho if you're not referring to that post i made earlier then not sure why you're keeping an eye on me#but uh i guess I'm flattered?#anyway hope you sleep well haha#anon ask#asked and answered#anon
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Hello! I just wanted to say I stumbled across one of your posts and ended up looking through the trans tag in your blog for a while and idk it felt so so nice to see a middle aged trans guy just living life and being there for others who are at earlier points of their own trans related journeys, and I hope I can look as awesome as you and be as comfortable in my own skin and style and everything when I'm older.
I guess I also wanted to ask if you had any insight or advice about a couple things, if you're willing to share.. First thing is, did you ever struggle with passing but looking much younger than your age and that somewhat affecting your perception of yourself? I'm 28 and I started T 11 months ago (though at a pretty low dose because I wanted slow changes) and my face just recently started visibly shifting to a more masculine contour and I love it, but I still don't really look like a 28 year old guy.
I've always passed easily even before T but people think I'm like 18-21 max. Things were fine while I was in college (I came out at 19 so for a while my face just felt fitting enough and didn't make me feel either dysphoric or in a weird age limbo) but every year it feels more frustrating and makes me feel sort of alienated from myself including in mental ways, like I'm just a little kid who can't grow up. Like I'll never look like a "real guy" even though I can be stealth because I look like a weird teen and not like a grown up man. It's especially bad when I look at my amab younger siblings who are now also adults and see how I "should have looked" in some other life if I was cis. I guess maybe that's just another manifestation of dysphoria that I didn't have to deal with before? Did you ever experience something like that? And if yes did it get better after some years on T or how did you deal with it?
The other thing is just.. internalized transphobia. It's one thing to know things in a logical or intellectual sense but it's so hard to really feel and believe it sometimes and let go of all the awful transphobic stuff my family said to me during the first years of me being out. I just kept going anyway because I needed to be true to myself and my family basically bullying me wasn't gonna just magically change how I felt about my gender, but what it did do is put my already low confidence and self esteem (in this context regarding my gender) down on the floor. And sometimes I still just think and worry "what if they were right and I was wrong and I'll never be real and valid because of x y z", "what if I'm just delusional", "what if I'm a ridiculous freak". I know, in a way, that no I'm not. I'm just a trans person and they're just transphobes. But feelings like that just get to me sometimes and I don't really know what to do about them even nearly 10 years after coming out. Does that get better at some point? Just like you kinda stop giving a shit what people think about you in general as you get older? But how can you change those internalized views affecting what you think of yourself?
Bit nervous about asking this stuff tbh, so sorry it was so long also sorry if I worded any of it in a not so great way.
I will say though, that seeing older trans people like you does help a little bit. Just makes it feel like "hell yeah I wanna be like him when I grow up". So thank you for showing me that today ;u; (and also for inspiring me to put a little more thought and effort into my styling and fashion choices haha)
Heya, Anon! Let's see what I can cover here:
Looking young.
Oh my god, yes. I was getting carded to buy superglue and spray paint well into my late 30s (I started T at 33). When my partner first asked me out for a date, they were worried I wasn't old enough to drink yet (I was 36).
This is me 1 year on T, age 34.
Years 6 & 7 (ages 39 and 40), is when I feel I started looking older.
I feel like it's only been recently, 14 years in at 47, that I look in my 40s, and a "mature" adult. My beard finally getting full helped, as did my receding hairline. And I feel like my skin texture has toughened up enough, to where wrinkles show more.
That said, yes, it is tough and annoying to deal with. Even when people tell me I look like a particular cis man (where I actually see the resemblance, lol), when I look at us side-by-side, I feel like I'm just a pale shadow of him. I feel jealous and dysphoric, even while I'm flattered by the comparison. I wonder what I "should" look like, and it feels like something has been stolen from me. Its a roller coaster of emotions.
That feeling never really goes away, but you need to afford yourself some grace. You're going to be your own worst critic, and I guarantee you that, of many cis men you grew up with, you can probably still see the kid in them. So of course, you're going to see the kid in yourself.
But, you also just need to let time run its course. HRT is a marathon, and a lot of changes don't really settle for about 5 or 6 years.
I hate to say "enjoy it while you can" because I sure as hell bristled at being mistaken for a teenager or barely 20 when I was in my 30s. But do enjoy what you can of it. Because once you hit middle age, you're going to start dealing with a strange intersection of dysphoria and aging that I myself am still trying to navigate.
One other way I help myself get over negative feelings is to think of how differently my life would have been if I were cis. I honestly worry I would have been a worse person; even though being trans creates a lot of obstacles in my life, I feel like it's been a net gain: being able to know myself so well and help others learn about themselves.
Internalized transphobia
This got better for me with age. My epiphany was that, even over a decade into my transition, I was still softening myself for the benefit of friends and family. I was still using my gender-neutral birthname (I only recently changed it). I would call myself a "person", "guy", or "dude", instead of a "man". I dressed on the young and casual side, eschewing full-on masculine outfits like proper suits with ties.
I only recently pulled myself out of this. It still is a habit-in-progress to refer to myself as a man, even though I have always felt like one. And I've started to dress more vintage, not just because of hyper fixations, but because it's a way to lean into a presentation that is unequivocally, "this is a middle-aged man". And it's done a lot of good for my mental health.
What I'd suggest is to see if you are holding yourself back in any way wrt your gender presentation or how you talk/think about yourself. Give yourself full permission to acknowledge that you are a man, full stop. You're a young man, sure. But still a man, and a full-ass adult at that.
I hope some of this helps. Transition gives us a unique toolset for examining who we are and how we want to move through the world, and that work certainly doesn't end after finally getting on HRT. <3
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(Sorry for not just answering this in the comments, I had a feeling I was gonna go over the word limit (I was correct haha) and figured maybe I should just make a post about it).
Spoilers for Chapter Two Episode 13!
I'll be honest...I am very scared for Ace right now. A lot of his trial behavior is kinda suspicious if you squint, but then again, he's Ace, so he's always going to be hastily throwing around suspicion and be generally incompetent when it comes to solving the murder. And after watching all of chapter two...I just can't accept that it's him.
Now, it's fair to say that's just favoritism on my part. After all, I'm willingly to make a lot of stretches to keep on believing in my Eden's The Culprit agenda. And...Yeah, true, you are kinda right. Even if I was in a scenario where I couldn't find a single objective reason for him not to be the culprit, I still wouldn't be able to accept it was him until he was executed.
But I can't help but think I do have at least a little evidence to prove Ace isn't the culprit.
I actually made a post a while back about the Ace culprit theory, and how I don't think it works. And I'm going to reiterate a point I made there, since I'm not sure if I conveyed what I meant all that clearly.
This is about the tape.
Yes, yes, I know. Everything's about the tape these days, but I still think it's important!! After all, the grippy tape was used in the murder mechanism, and disappeared while only Ace, Eden, and Teruko were in the room. Meaning one of them has to be the one connected to the murder, (meaning they are at the very least an accomplice).
Teruko and Eden both technically could've taken it, Eden much more so than Teruko, but this isn't about them, so I'll skip that. I'm sure you've heard stuff about that before somewhere, anyhow.
Let's get to the main point:
Could Ace have taken the tape?
Okay, okay, fine, real answer time. In my opinion? It doesn't make much sense to me. After all, if Ace took the tape, we have two options:
Ace was planning to murder someone and already had a plan in mind when he took the tape, knowing he'd need it for a mechanism.
Ace didn't have a plan in mind and wanted to murder Nico when he took the tape.
Now, let's take those one at a time so I can tell you why I don't buy them.
Let's start with option one.
Ace knew he was going to murder someone with the tape down the line and took it.
Now, let's put this into perspective for a moment. Ace is actively being murdered. Even if we assume that Nico is not the true person behind Ace's almost-death, we can assume that someone was cutting Ace's neck open before this. And if Ace was conscious, he wouldn't wait for them or anyone else who can take advantage of his weakened state to come back. So Ace must be unconscious at least until Teruko and Eden make Nico run away.
That means the only time Ace can be having even sort of coherent thoughts is in the minute or so Teruko is investigating his body. He is actively bleeding out, someone just tried to murder him, and everything has gone to shit. On top of it all, he's a character who's usually rather impulsive.
And in order for him to have known he'd need the tape for his new murder plan, he'd need to have thought of a whole murder mechanism scheme while under those conditions. Seems a little iffy, but let's assume, for the sake of this post, he's secretly a murder-plan-making genius! So of course he easily thought of that entire extremely complex murder plan that far in advance!
That means Ace has a plan when he manages to get the strength to stand up. He knows he needs the tape, so he grabs it, while knocking Eden over and shouting in hopes it will distract them enough to not notice he took it (Let's also ignore that Teruko is watching him this whole time and probably would've noticed him taking it). He then pretends he's going to go kill Nico immediately, while secretly plotting to kill them or someone else in the future.
But if Ace isn't planning to murder Nico immediately like he says, then why is he so insistent on it? Non-culprit!Ace readings make this easily understandable; Ace's emotions are running high from the murder attempt and he's running off to find Nico because he's angry and thinks they tried to kill him. However, if Ace doesn't actually want to kill Nico, why does he bother putting on such a big act pretending he does?
If this is an act, color me impressed. Ace has, in the past, shown himself to be a pretty terrible liar who is also not very good at keeping secrets. So him being able to pull this off while bleeding out...Yeah, he definitely deserves an Oscar, haha. Because he really sells it. He's banging on Nico's door, yelling in a very aggressive and convincing manner, and tells Levi he is going to murder Nico almost nonchalantly. If this scene was later revealed to all be an elaborate 4D-chess move by Ace, I would be super surprised.
And none of it is even that necessary if it is an act. Ace could've stomped out of the room without telling them he was going to kill Nico if he wanted to, it's not like it was necessary for his plan. After all, if he was planning a murder, why would he purposely prove that he would be willingly to commit one? It's way better to play into his scaredy-cat tendencies here, instead, if he's trying not to gain suspicion. Like, imagine:
Eden: O-oh my god! Ace, are you alright?!? Y-you're bleeding a lot, let's go to the infirma--
Ace: Get the fuck away from me! I'm not trusting any of you fuckers to get anywhere near me! I was totally right to not trust any of you in the first place, you're all gonna try some shit like this eventually! You probably think that now's the perfect time to strangle me while pretending to help, huh?! Well, too bad! I can do it myself.
(Cue Ace getting the fuck out of there before they can realize he took the tape).
I mean, why would he possibly think that pretending he's going to murder Nico while secretly planning another murder is a good idea?! Even if people don't connect the tape to him, they're going to think that he's completely capable of an act like that if he's desperate enough. If he hadn't done this, his classmates might've kept on thinking he was too much of a scaredy-cat to seriously consider hurting anyone, which would help his chances of winning the trial.
You could say he did it to disguise the fact that he had a plan to murder someone later. No one would suspect that he was planning to murder someone later if he pretended to try to murder someone now. But no one was accusing him of plotting anything in the first place? So I really don't see how it's necessary. Better to play it safe than to risk actually running into Nico when he doesn't actually plan to harm them. His little charade can only go so far. The only way this even sort of benefits him is if in the trial, people say maybe he was plotting something, and he can refute with his reckless behavior here. But, uh...Would it really be realistic to say Ace, of all people, thought that far ahead and meticulously planned out every detail in the mere moments he woke up from the turpentine? I don't know, seems like a little bit of a stretch to me.
Let's remind ourselves that, in this scenario, Ace is most likely scared for his life. He is scared someone else is going to murder him now that Nico tried, and that is why he is planning a murder now. In that case, I think the most important thing is that Ace's primary emotion is that moment is fear. Which he doesn't have a very good track record of hiding. When Ace is scared, you will know. So if Ace was scared and planning a murder in result during that moment, I don't think he'd have masked it as well as he did. Ace doesn't seem scared, just angry. Because he hates that, in his eyes, Nico was able to make him vulnerable like this.
I just...Don't think the dialog of Ace in the hallway scene after his almost-death would work as well if he was secretly not trying to murder Nico and only refusing help from the others because he was planning a different murder, and not because of his own character flaws. None of his lines seem disingenuous in the slightest to me. Which is weird, considering all the other times Ace has lied, it's pretty easy to tell.
In short, I simply don't understand why Ace would do the things he did if he was just secretly planning to murder someone. To me, his behavior makes much more sense if he's actually blinded by rage instead of secretly planning something super smart and complex.
...Alright, let's move on to scenario two.
Ace was actually planning to murder Nico when he took the tape, but plans change, and he uses the tape for murdering Arei instead.
Unsurprisingly, I don't buy this either.
If Ace really did plan to murder Nico in this moment and was admitting it full-heartedly, with no qualms about getting caught, why would he hide that he took the tape? He tells Levi he's going to murder Nico upfront, so obviously he doesn't care that they know what he's doing.
In that case, he wouldn't have stealthily picked up the tape while Teruko wasn't looking and put it in his pocket immediately (Both of Ace's hands are seen in his sprites, so it's not like he was just holding it in his hand, if he did take the tape he took it as quickly and unnoticeably as possible, hid it somewhere on his person, then didn't mention it).
If he's planning to murder Nico and hasn't thought about what happens afterwards, or knows he will be executed and still doesn't care, then it's not like he has anything he's going to do with the tape after he murders Nico. Meaning the only reason he would take it, is if it had something to do with murdering Nico.
And in that case, Ace doesn't care about how much the others know when it comes to how he does the murder. So he wouldn't be shy about admitting he was going to use the tape to uh...Idk, strangle Nico? Or restrain them? I don't even really know how he would use only grippy tape to murder them anyways. It's not like he'd use it to put over their mouth to keep them quiet, he's shouting threats to them in the middle of the hallway for everyone to hear. He could not give less of a fuck about who knows Nico is in danger.
Ace has literally no reason to be secretive about taking the tape in this scenario. The only way it would work is if Teruko and Eden just so happened to not notice even though Ace wasn't bothering to be subtle, which is...Kinda weird, since Teruko's usually pretty damn observant.
Plus, Ace has a lot of blood on his hands during the gym waking-up scene, but maybe he managed to get the tape in his pocket before any blood could get on it? Since there wasn't as much on his hands before he woke up? Idk, possibly still notable.
To summarize this whole section a bit, if Ace was planning to murder Nico when he took the tape, he'd have little reason to take it and no reason to take it sneakily. If he was secretly planning another murder, it's hard to justify why he pretends he wants to murder Nico in the first place, or how he even thought up his murder plan so quickly and under such intense circumstances. And since Teruko was presumably looking at Ace the whole time, Ace would have a hard time even picking up the tape in the first place without Teruko noticing.
(I've also seen people say that if Teruko and Ace can't 100% confirm each other's witness testimony about the other not taking it while Eden was on the ground, you can't really prove who took it in the trial).
...So that's it with the tape, I think. All in all, I don't think Ace taking it makes much sense, or at least not as much sense as Eden does.
That's my main reason for being doubtful of Ace being the culprit, but I guess there's maybe some other things I could mention...
Ace is supposed to be the Mondo of the Chihiro-Mondo = Nico-Ace murder situation.
This can be seen by how the almost-murder takes place in the gym, and how Ace is the one who wants to be strong despite feeling deep down that he is weak. He's also the one who is afraid of getting hit by cars, and the one who's friend mysteriously died...
Yeah, I'm willing to bet Ace's friend being dead and Ace weirdly mentioning being afraid of cars hitting him in chapter 1 probably means his friend met a similar fate to Mondo's brother. Except without all the biker gang stuff, haha.
Which, uh, isn't good if we're trying to make Ace not the culprit, since that secret was one of the major reasons Mondo killed and all that. And I was worried about that...Until Ace just sorta brought Taylor up unprompted in the middle of trial. Like, if that was a big, personal, secret reason for why he murdered Arei, not sure why he would just randomly bring it up now when the DRDTdev could just--Have him talk about it later, when he's the culprit. And if we assume Ace thought that Taylor dying was his secret and killed so that secret wouldn't get out, then that wouldn't make sense, since Ace brings it up in conversation without hesitating. Even Ace wouldn't kill for a secret and then blab about it only a day later. So I doubt Taylor's death is going to play any sort of role in Ace's motive to murder.
(Unlike Eden, who's secret does include someone she was close to and probably regrets not being honest with when it came to her feelings and--okay okay fine I'll shut up now sorry--).
Plus, Ace having Mondo parallels doesn't mean he has to be the culprit. Nico wasn't the victim just because they had Chihiro parallels, so the same can be true for Ace. It does make him a little more suspicious, though, sadly.
Also...
I wonder how this would pay off if Ace died? I immediately assumed that oh, Levi will die, and Ace will realize that this statement was not true. But it could go in way more directions than that.
This line has to be pretty damn important if it got the bold yellow letter treatment. That statement is going to affect Ace or Levi (or both) in a very major way.
If Ace dies, then...I guess I'm not sure if that statement would affect Levi as much without Ace being there. Levi has already said that he would not care if Ace died. It would simply be as if he never knew him, like he was a stranger. And I guess, in my mind, it makes a lot more sense if Ace is a living embodiment of what he said to Levi than him just being gone.
I mean, imagine if Levi threatened Ace and then Ace was the culprit in chapter 1. Levi would not care nearly as much about what he said, because everyone thinks Ace did a bad thing by framing Teruko and not admitting to the class that he murdered Xander, even if it was with good intentions.
Now imagine that Ace is the culprit of chapter two. He murdered Arei with not-good intentions, framed Eden, and never admitted he did it until the bitter end. No one liked Ace before, and they certainly don't like him now. He took advantage of Arei's trust in Eden and for that no one will forgive him. Ace was not a good person, and most of Levi's classmates will reinforce this. So if Ace wanted Levi to die, it doesn't matter, right? Levi tried his best to help him, and he failed, but he tried his best, like Eden said.
What I'm trying to say is that if Ace dies here, I'm not sure how one would make it so that this line really resonates with Levi enough to make a significant enough impact on him that it's highlighted. If Ace is gone and made out to be a no-good murderer by the killing game system they're trapped in, and no one thought Ace was a good person as is, Levi wouldn't put stock in Ace's opinion nearly as much as he would, say, Eden's. Ace was a bully and a murderer, so his opinion doesn't matter, right? I doubt anyone else in the killing game will disagree, so I'm guessing none of them will be ecstatic to defend Ace's honor if Levi asks anyone about it in chapter three.
Long story short, this line makes a lot more sense to me if both Levi and Ace survive trial two (Or I guess if Levi gets executed because of that 'all murderers must pay for their crimes' rule but still).
Other than that, a few other points that make Ace being the culprit less likely are that we have no evidence of Ace knowing about where to find Hu and Teruko's old clothes and that sort of thing. Then there's the spelling mistake I don't think Ace would make given how he acts in the investigation and trial, as I said in another post (Would they really make a point to have Ace of all people correct Teruko's language twice only to have a sticking point be that a word was misspelled in a letter he wrote?).
Plus there's the fact that, allegedly, the culprit made the time ambiguous so that no one would know they did the murder at AM not PM, and Ace didn't have an alibi for either time slot. It'd be weird to do that and then not get yourself an alibi for the fake PM murder time. If the culprit didn't do that on purpose, then I guess they just got really, really lucky when no one found the small piece saying pm or am. Like, that's a smaller piece, so it's not surprising no one found it, but it being such a small piece of the note makes it look like it was ripped out purposefully.
Honestly, the only thing I'd sort of like about Ace culprit theory is that it would confirm Ace writes all fancy and nice, haha. Which would be a really funny subversion of expectations, but not funny enough for me to not be sad he's the culprit and is going to die.
Another thing I've seen floating around is that if the culprit really did copy/reuse the Nico-Ace murder contraption, they would need to know how it works. And if Ace was in the gym that night, that would mean he knows how it works and would be able to replicate it!
But this entire time, we've gone under the assumption that Nico (or whoever almost-murdered Ace) knocked Ace out with the turpentine, and that's why they stole it. Ace is pretty strong physically, so someone needing to knock him out to overpower him isn't too unbelievable. And in that case, Ace wouldn't have gotten much of a chance to look at the crime scene, since he was unconscious for the whole murder attempt. The only time we saw him awake was in the time he woke up bleeding out. And seeing as Ace isn't exactly the brightest, I doubt he could've just looked around while actively dying and immediately have known exactly what was up and how he almost got murdered. And on top of all that, if he was secretly planning a murder, he'd have been focusing on his whole pretending-to-want-to-kill-Nico thing, too, further dividing his attention. Whoever set up the mechanism or saw it for a longer period of time without bleeding out, probably would've had a better shot at knowing how the mechanism worked.
Oh, and before I go: I've mentioned this before, but "All That Glitters" and "A Good Person" aren't really themes that I think would suit Ace as a culprit. After all, they mean 'not as good as it seems' and 'being a good person'. Unlike some other characters, Ace hasn't had any involvement in the Good Person dilemma except telling Levi he's not one. And I don't think anyone thought Ace was 'good' in the first place, let alone not as good as he seems.
I could probably go more in-depth...But I'm tired so short, straightforward theme explanation it is, haha.
I...Think that's all? Honestly, I might be able to think of more reasons in the future...But for now, I think I'm done. I refuse to accept the culprit is Ace, so I'm just trying to point out any evidence I can that it's not him. My heart wouldn't be able to take it...
Still, I don't judge anyone who does buy the ace culprit theory, I just don't buy it personally. So there's the answer you were probably looking for, in way less words, haha.
#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt spoilers#ace markey#theory#answering inbox message thingys#kinda
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Lyra's Yearly Recap - 2024/2025
I actually forgot I did this quite a few times the last few years, but this year I wanted to look back of what I accomplished from my resolution list.
And then see if In can make some of that true this year! (and what else to add!)
2023/2024 Resolutions:
(See: https://greenplumbboblover.tumblr.com/post/738067930777059328/accomplishments-of-2023)
I'm not answering all of them, but I do want to set some record straight!
Finishing LISISV
Haha... yeah I misjudged that completely lol. I got to a point where I lost complete motivation on... well, everything. I had no motivation for personal projects, CC making (one of the reasons why some of my mods in this year were so riddled with bugs), playing games... hell, even interacting with others. Now you could call that depression, but I wasn't showing those symptoms properly either. I found myself in a weird place where, on the one hand, I felt guilty of that I just couldn't do those stuff that I wanted to do, and that then causing me to feel super overwhelmed... yet telling myself constantly that "adults don't feel overwhelmed on those tiny silly things!". I was pretty mean to myself this year, honestly... But all that sad stuff aside! I have made some personal changes in December that are helping me a lot already, before getting also some mental help for other things. But I'll save you from those details. 😉 --------------- The second thing that didn't help was that I would at some point feel a HUGE disconnect with the characters I had in my head and my actual writing. I would make impulsive thoughts, without realistically navigating how it would work out in the future. I would introduce characters, without really giving it a thought on how I wanted them to come across... how to fully tackle certain cases. So! I spent a majority of that time researching a lot of the ways writers actually attempt those issues and solving those. I was hoping to make a post to help others with that soon, since It's really awesome insight at times! And... then there was the whole posing. But I resolved that with the Pose Add-on IMO already! Chapter 10 however, is actually taking a long time because I do struggle a lot with the fact that I consider it my "old" way of writing, and I REALLY want to move on to my 'new' ideas and style. So the willpower is simply not always there.
LISIV PLANS:
Alright, now that we have all that out of the way, here are some of my plans for this year and the story: Splitting certain stories into sub-stories: My current personal problem I have with the story, is that there are some really cool characters, but with the current format, I can't explore their characters as intensely as I'd like to. I also know that I love to jump back and forth from one story to another.
How that would look like is:
Morgana will have her own "Sub-story"
I am pondering of doing the same for Dustin and Zelda.
We travel 5 years into the future, where I want to do more with Mortimer and Bella. But also the Landgraabs and the Alto's.
I am also thinking of making a separate (short) storyline for Gunther and Lolita. The moment I was making the flashbacks, I really have been wanting to write more about it.
Same as 4, but maybe for some other townies! They will be short, but I think it can be fun! :)
Figuring out what to do with Interests & Hobbies
The infamous mod of being delayed... again :p.
I guess you all are probably exhausted of me hearing "no wait! I will finish it!", and then another mod gets released, and another year passes... and personally I have that same thought.
So I am putting the mod entirely on ice. There might not be a chance that I even finish it ever.
However I do want to add something here:
I will be working much more with Stories be told
I am going to be making more hobby items in return! I have been craving that "small but cool" modding projects a lot the past few years. I just like to be ambitious and unrealistic I guess, lol
However, I will be modding WAY less this year due to other factors.
My 2024/2025 Resolutions:
I think I've mentioned this now a lot of times, but never properly done it...
Wanting to write more. Whether it's for the sims, or even personal!
Wanting to get more into 3D modeling. Mostly for myself, but here and there I could probably release some CC pieces! :)
Keep up with Simblr.cc of course!
Post more of my thoughts on LISISV and Character stuff (@nocturnalazure suggested this a while back, but the more I thought of it, the more fun it sounds!)
Doing more Sims photoshoots!
Either way! May this year be your year! Where issues get resolutions and love is all around you.💖
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[Shuuen no Virche] Birthday Short Story - Yves
The birthday celebration of a certain handyman
<Original post here>
・゚・:,。★ translation under the cut ★,。・:・゚
Mathis: H-Happy birthday, Yves!
Yves: Thanks, Mathis. And the rest of you guys— I can't believe you went through all the trouble to hold a dinner party just for me...
Adolphe: I mean, you're always helping us out after all. Although... you probably didn't need us to celebrate for you, huh?
Yves: Hey, that's not true. I'm super happy about it!
Adolphe: You say that, but...
*Baaam...*
Ankou: You can't help that thought when you see all the gifts from the townspeople piled up in the garden...
Lucas: Indeed. The moment I saw that huge amount of boxes, I thought you might be moving homes...
Hugo: Haha. He's a real natural charmer, isn't he?
Scien: Well, you won't be running low on supplies for a while.
Yves: Gosh, while I'm grateful for the gifts from the neighbourhood... it feels especially nice being celebrated by my precious friends.
Ankou: ...I see. Our princess and the others should be arriving shortly as well. Please enjoy today's party to your heart's content.
Lucas: I must say, it was surprising that Scien came to participate in the festivities.
Scien: Dahut was nagging me to bring over a birthday gift. I decided to have a drink and a bite to eat while I was at it.
Hugo: Isn't that what the person being hosted should say, not the host themselves...?
Yves: Now, now. Don't sweat the details. 'Tis the occasion, so let's all enjoy it together.
Mathis: That's right! I helped with the cooking too!
Mathis: Ah, but before that... Wouldn't it be better to give him his gifts first?
Lucas: Yes, good point. More guests will be coming later. Let's give him ours first, shall we?
Yves: Huh, you even brought presents? That's too much...
Hugo: Alright, I'll go first. —Happy birthday, partner. Eat this and stay your ridiculously energetic self from tomorrow on.
Yves: Thanks, Hugo. I'll be relying on you too! Is this... a fishbowl? ...And inside is— Woah, there's a fish I've never seen before!
Hugo: It's a big one, right? It's a special catch reeled in by the genius fisher, yours truly.
Yves: It looks like it'll be worth slicing up! I'll cook it up nice and tasty for us.
Hugo: About that. Eat it yourself. Alone. Seriously, by yourself. Down to the last crumb. There's no need to share it with me, got it?
Adolphe: (He's just making sure he doesn't suffer any harm himself...)
Ankou: Now then, as for the gifts from the others—
Lucas: Um. If I am not mistaken, it seems there are ominous sounds and fumes emanating from the gifts all of you are holding...
Adolphe: ...Yours is the same, isn't it?
Scien: It appears all of us had the same idea.
Mathis: I see, everybody brought fresh ingredients that Yves can cook!
Ankou: I-Indeed... However, we also prepared tangible items in addition to the ingredients...
Lucas: Oh my, to think our gifts would overlap to that extent.
Yves: Woah, woahhh...! Is this much okay!? I'm going to happily accept all of it, you know...!?
Adolphe: ...Well, it's fine as long as he's happy. Mine's a whetstone, so you can use it to maintain your sword.
Yves: Great, thanks! ...It really is wonderful to have people who are special to you celebrate your birthday.
Yves: I wonder if it's alright to be this happy. ...Won't God punish me later?
Scien: I won't, so don't worry.
Hugo: Haha. God guaranteed it. Don't fret, Yves.
Yves: ...I see. That's true. I hope I'll be able to continue to spend my birthdays together with everyone I care about.
Yves: And forever with her—who bound me to this fate.
*CLICK*
Yves: ! Hey, come on in. I was just thinking about you. Thanks for coming for my birthday.
Yves: Huh... a present? I see, you also—I appreciate it. ...Can I look inside?
Yves: ...! It's a gorgeous gem— You found it at Marché? And you thought it would suit me?
Yves: ...Thank you, truly... I'm over the moon...!
Yves: I really am blessed with encounters. After all, I was able to meet a girl who's giving me such a wonderful present—
Yves: From the bottom of my heart, I love the happiness I feel for having met you, my hope—
And I pray that in the future that awaits, I will be able to dedicate my first "love" to you...
---
[DO NOT USE OR REPOST MY WORK W/O PERMISSION, THANK YOU]
#shuuen no virche#virche evermore#virche evermore yves#HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVES#even though this was actually from last year haha#waiting to see if we'll get anything new this year...
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Tag game 🩷🎀
Hosted by the wonderful Jess @jrooc
Sorry for the lateness!! I was tagged by these twinkling starlights Kaka @stocious Dosho @doshiart Kat @mybrainismelted Pie @gallapiech Ice @spookygingerr Michelle @mmmichyyy Willow @ian-galagher Jen @wehangout Georgia @iansw0rld Cyn @ms-moonlight-inn Evie @ energievie Gigi @guinguin1984 Becki @francesroserecs Michelle @michellemisfit
Thaaankss 🥰
Name and A03 handle:
Shermyn/Myn & Dynastyria (no written works yet!💕)
Current Location:
On the lounge couch
Favourite picrew (don’t have one? you can skip this or do this one)?
So many to choose from!!!
Picrew 1 (I am obsessed with cardcaptors) , Picrew 2 (Willow made of usss & I treasure itttt 😍) Picrew 3 & Picrew 4 (bc who doesn't love a good bread bowl)
What’s one thing you want in a picrew?
I think more body size inclusively 🙌🏻
Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?
Tie between Molly's draw this in your style/Gallacrafts & 2024 gallavich valentine's!
Why is it your favourite?
It's the first time a drawing really looked how I thought it did in my head & I impressed myself. Also, I'm obssessed with the pastels in the gallavalentine. 🩷🩵💜
Did it come easily or was it hard to create?
Hard bc I find body poses hard, then I start to procrastinate bc of that, but then I've got the deadline so it makes me stressed haha
Last ao3 fic you commented on?
from way up there (you and I, you and I) by the amazing @sam-loves-seb It was the cutest I couldn't even!!!
Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced?
Where the Feigned Wind Falls by the very talented & missed Jenna @ianrightsonly
Thank you for sharing your story & I hope one day you'll come back 🥰
Favourite trope or head canon you like included in a fanfic?
Ohhh gotta be lust at first sight, then we fuck our way into true tender feelings!! I'm a sucker for it!! Notable writers of this are Jane @captainjowl & Kay @goodkwuestion & they are so damn good at it
Least favourite?
I haven't seen with gallavich thankfully but turning one character in a gay ship into the opposite gender to make them het!!
Secret or surprising kink or trope?
Omg it's gotta be uniform kink bc of Ray @whatthebodygraspsnot Kinktober 2022. It awoke something in me & I was like I finally get it ahaha
Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new?
I feel relief & feeling proud. Then I stress about when's a good time to post for most of ya'll to see bc of timezones 😅
Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line:
My loves Benja @svltburn & Vey @look-i-love-u
I run to Ben in my art WIP bc like a kid showing art to an adult & Vey's given me amazing advice with writing that sparked inspiration 🥰
I'm in the headspace of desperately telling ppl about my fic ideas & wanting it to be a surprise so idk i may reach out for more hype men haha
It’s been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____
Like Evie I mass reblog fandom works to spread love 🩷
I'm tagging these sparkling rainbow darlings if they wanna play & for anyone else consider yourself tagged 🌈
@ burninface @deedala @jademickian @sgtmickeyslaughter
@darthvaders-wife @matt404b @gallavichsbitch
@deathclassic @look-i-love-u @celestialmickey
@takeyourpillsbitchh @sickness-health-all-that-shit
@whaticameherefor @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx
@psychicskulldamage @sleepyfacetoughguy @doodlevich
@awa444 @suzy-queued @crossmydna @iandarling
@y0itsbri @michellemisfit @mikhailoisbaby @samantitheos
@pookiebearmick @reganmian @firecrxtch
@howlinchickhowl
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I'm aware this is unfair and you don't have to entertain it, but I resent Antonia a little bit for making me think less of Luke because of her actions. Whenever she posts, I reexamine my opinion of him, not because of anything he's done, but because him being with her doesn't square with the opinion I've formed of him based on how he shows up in the world. I know it's not his responsibility to fit in with my view of him, I'm just tired of this. I don't know what to think of him at all anymore. I want to be a fan but she's making it hard. There's always that niggling feeling in the back of my mind of, what if he's in on the trolling, y'know? I just hope it isn't the case.
Thank you for sharing this - it’s an honest and vulnerable perspective, and I know people can relate to the dissonance you’re describing. It’s natural to form an opinion of someone based on how they present themselves publicly, and when their personal choices seem at odds with that image, it can feel weird (I’ve brought this up in another post a while back). I think your self-awareness about this is important, especially in acknowledging that it’s not his responsibility to fit into the image you’ve formed of him, even if it’s frustrating at times.
I also get why you may be questioning if he’s in on the trolling (if there is any trolling to begin with - I mean, there probably is some, but most of it seems pretty harmless). That said, I do think things tend to get blown way out of proportion by the fandom. However, unless there’s clear evidence of something more intentional, try to remind yourself that it might just be social media noise and not reflective of any deeper meaning on his part (and even hers).
On a more personal note, I’ve realized that I wouldn’t likely be friends with Luke or his type of friends (sorry, but it’s true, haha). Theatre aside, I can tell they’re not a group I’d naturally connect with - and honestly, that includes Luke. Have I seen some questionable things done by Antonia and her mother? Yes. But again, I don’t know any of the people involved. Who knows? Maybe I’d actually be best friends with all of them, haha! It’s entirely possible my preconceived notions are shaping this belief.
So again, I can’t stress this enough: it’s important to remember that we don’t actually know any of the people involved, and that includes Antonia (we don't actually know what kind of person she is). The image she’s curated within the fandom is partly her own doing, but at the end of the day, maybe she just doesn’t care about how she’s perceived in these spaces. While that might bother some people, it could also be seen as a good thing. If she’s happy and living her life on her own terms, then maybe that’s all that matters to her - and that could be valid.
I’ll admit, I’m way more of a people-pleaser. I hate confrontation, and I’d feel emotionally crushed if I had thousands of people hating me online. But just because I’d approach things differently doesn’t mean her way is wrong or ultimately makes her a bad person. It might just reflect different priorities, values, or ways of dealing with public scrutiny.
She is also very young, and what she posts is on brand for her and her friend group - which includes Luke. This doesn’t make me hate Luke, though. I think he’s super talented, and I find myself more invested in his career choices than his personal ones.
I think this all comes back to the complicated nature of para-social relationships. It’s okay to feel conflicted or even disappointed - it’s a natural part of navigating these dynamics. But maybe it’s worth considering whether entertaining her social media is really helping you. If it’s becoming too frustrating, it might be easier to block her and remove that source of stress for yourself. I know people on the internet tend to repost things, so it can be hard to avoid her altogether, but there are definitely spaces that don’t focus on her actions and posts. Maybe try to find a community like that (even just for a little while), because at the end of the day, she’s just a person who might be dating Luke.
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Another yandere set 2 ask, from yours truly! This is another one inspired by the yandere set 1 asks regarding fatherhood…
How would each of the yanderes’ react/behave during their darling’s labor and post-labor?
I wanna know who’s panicking, composed, excited, etc.
Sorry I got baby fever right now…
Yandere men and their darling in labor and post-labor
Assuming the reader this time is AFAB, or is in an A/B/O situation! By the way, i'm so sorry if i'm moving so slow with the requests! I've been busy lately so i'm trying my best to write.
"Why don't you just close the requests?" True, but some people use the ask box to talk and chat to me without compromising their anonymity. So, I hope you can be patient! I don't really like rejecting asks, so I probably will answer all of them. I know, I can reject them or not answer. I'm working on it lol. Especially that there's a lot of asks like these, which includes all the yandere OCs in a set... It's a bit exhausting. I kind of regret it, but hey, we're here already lol.
I added a section of... You'll know if you read HAHA
YAN! DELINQUENT
Liam will definitely panic. He's sweaty, he's smiling, he's about to blow off his top from the way the nurses were so nonchalant with your labor (It's normal). Can't they see you're about to die (You're contracting)?! Oh god, you can't voice out your pain without you talking (The midwives are not dumb enough to not read body language)! He will swear up and down that no more babies. NO MORE! It's already painful enough seeing you get swarmed by other people, let alone touch you.
Post labor Liam will be calm, fussy, and overprotective. Well, more overprotective than usual. He has a 70/30 chance of fainting, and will praise the gods if you delivered safely.
But, if you died... He will let out a gut wrenching cry by the foot of your bed. The baby won't even be noticed by him as he clenches his chest, sobbing and heaving his heart out. It will take more than days to calm him down, and have the heart to take care of your child. He will love the child, since he knows the child is innocent. But a big, gaping you-shaped hole in his heart is carved painfully in place.
YAN! BULLY
Uno will be the quiet panic-type. He sure is calm... On the inside. He's about to scream and rip the heads off of everyone who's touching you even a smidge wrong. NO MALE HANDS! NEVER! He's never been like this, ever. Even in your wedding, pregnancy, he never panicked. So why now? He's biting his cheeks to the point it bled, and you swore every single nurse and midwife in the delivery ward were yelled at by Uno.
Post-delivery Uno will calm down and act like nothing happened. "See? I know you can do it, nerd." Yeah sure. As if you can't see the blood stained teeth from him biting his cheeks. For the first time, he'll cherish a person other than you. He's so soft that it's new to you too.
If you died, Uno will turn the whole hospital up and down. He'll ruin everything, blame the midwives and nurses for not taking care of you enough, the hospital for lacking the resources to make a safe delivery.... And unfortunately, your child for killing you off. I'm gonna be honest, Uno will be the type to blame the child for your death. So, be healthy, darling!
YAN! NSFW ASMRTIST
Rose would be composed. He knew you were gonna be fine. Of course, nervousness will still be there, but he had enough trust in this hospital that he hopes you and your baby will be fine. That, and all of those breeding roleplays was his fault so he had to be composed since he brought it upon himself.
Post-delivery Rose would be relieved. He's right. And the cute little bugger is so small. He fits just by 3/4's of his arm. Wait, why is the baby so small? Are they really this small? But you were eating quite a lot... He's also a big guy, so the genes..? Is it from you? Or just recessive? He will have many questions. All those pregnancy asmr roleplays didn't really help.
If you died, Rose would feel like the whole world collapsed on his feet. What do you mean you died? He swears you would be okay. That you will be alive and well. He suddenly feels an immense guilt eating him up. Should he have panicked more? Should he have ensured the personnel that you're going to be alright? He sinks to his knees, weeping. He will swear on your body to take care of the baby well.
YAN! ISEKAI'ED ADVENTURER
Aeron is definitely skeptical. Sure, this world has magic, but it doesn't have the technological advancement of the modern world. It's also a world where he can't be with you in the delivery room. So all he could do is pace around the hall as he hears your cries of pain. He'll also cry with you if the delivery was too long for both of your likings.
Post-delivery Aeron will burst through the door and will go to you first. "Are you fine? Do you feel lethargic? Do you feel weak?!" The nurses have to pull him off of you so you can have the baby latch on you. He'll pout, but grips his arm as he watches you and the baby with a fond smile.
If you died... Aeron will regret everything. He knew he should have found a way back to the modern world. Maybe you could have delivered safely. He shouldn't have had a baby with you. A demon king's child will be too much on a mage's body, with all of those mana mixing. The whole hospital will be engulfed in demonic power as he suffocated everyone except his kid. He'll disappear with the child, forever retreating to the Demon realm to raise the kid alone.
YAN! PLAYER
Amor would be excited. He never thought he'll finally get a kid of his own after years and his past life. His parents spoiled him a lot, his guardian angels (gods) spoil him too. And this kid? A product of you and him?! Gods above! That's like, such a blessing! He'll be persistent in asking the nurses and midwives if the kid is there, if you're alright... OH god are you okay? All of these other people touching you... He feels the bile rising up to his mouth. But he knew these people are just doing their job, and then--
Post delivery Amor would be all over you. He'll kiss your face, your lips, your forehead, immediately buy you food you cannot have, and spoil you rotten as you recover. And his kid? Oh his kid is so cute! Look at them. So pretty and small... Is that his nose? Oh they got your eyes! His hair color and your hair texture... Oh they're the perfect mix!
This is one of the rare times were you are guaranteed on not dying... In the backstage, Amor shook the gods on putting so many blessings on your body to make sure your delivery will be safe and easy. That the child will be healthy. So, no deaths at all.
YAN! PARASITE
Acheron will be overly cautious one. He will have you deliver in your home, in his lab, where he transformed it to a delivery ward. He trained in birthing too, so he's as good as professional midwives too. He will be there for you, ensuring that the pregnancy will end well. Because honestly, technically speaking, this child is from this body of his and yours. Not your original body. So he's a bit conflicted.
Post-delivery Acheron is smug. He knew he could handle the delivery well. The baby is healthy, and he's planning on how to make the kid a parasite too. Which can earn your ire or approval, depending on what you want. But now, he's content, and actually loved this little kid, despite knowing the biological composition of the kid.
If you "died", Acheron will be filled with regret too. He wasn't skilled enough. He should've listened and admitted you to a hospital. He'll have to extract the parasite from your body and dump the body, and then find another body for you to inhabit. He'll have to nurse your parasite form to healthy levels first before letting you wriggle into a body. He will be a bit cold to the child though, but a bit more time with him will calm him down.
YAN! EMPEROR
Callisto will only have the best midwives. He'll be overbearing, making sure you WILL be alright. He will, for the first time, be religious and pass by the church to pray that your delivery will be safe. He will force himself in the delivery room. No matter what anyone says. He's the nervous type, biting his nail and barking orders if something even went wrong just a bit.
Post-delivery Callisto will be proud. He's not the type to freak out, he'll just feel the calm washing over him as he showers you with kisses, saying "you did so well", "thank you so much", "Take your time recovering", etc. The baby, he's more or less concerned since he knew the baby will be fine.
If you died though, he'll storm out of the palace, then to the church, and blasphemize the whole place. If he's the chosen one, then why did you die? Why did the love of his life slip past him? After hours of desecrating the church, he will be hell bent on revenge, making the church the enemy. His kid will be not loved, unfortunately. He will neglect them, only providing the bare minimum. Don't get him wrong, the kid will be the heir, but they have to prove himself.
YAN! COLLEGE STUDENT
Alpheus would be the type to be suddenly so overwhelmed with worry. Since he's never been one to feel, the sudden feeling of panic, dread, and worry settled in his stomach. He would probably lay down on the hospital floor, clutching his belly as he rocks back and forth. The nurses and midwives would have to fuss over him before you to the point that you're getting annoyed. He will have to be separated from you, or else he'll probably goes to shock when he hears your pained cries.
When you're done, he goes to your side, crawls beside you, and becomes a clingy mess. He'll apologize, kiss and nuzzle you. He can't believe he subjected you to such a painful ordeal. One child. Just one is enough. He can't have you (and himself) be in this situation again. But the baby is worth it.
When you die, Alpheus will for the first time, cry from grief. It's his first time experiencing something like this, that it overwhelms him. He CANNOT father your child. Unless some divine intervention happens and he'll be fine again. The child will go to his parents, and they'll hope that he'll recover, for the baby's sake and yours up in heaven.
YAN! DEEP SEA CREATURE
Viper's not a worrywart. Since you can't exactly go to the civilization to deliver your eggs safely in time, he would have to let you birth on what's akin to a nest. He'll be there with you, his hands all over your body as he whispers encouraging words to your ears. use his tail as a pillow, who cares. As long as you're comfortable and safe, everything will be fine.
Post-delivery will have Viper give one of his rare smiles. He massages you gently, telling you that you did great, feeding you food, and then fixing the clutch of eggs you birthed. He will have you asleep in no time to rest your weary body as he fusses over the eggs and making sure none of them are wrong.
If you actually died during the birthing process, there will be only two outcomes. If you came to him willingly and you weren't forced to love him, he would take care of the eggs diligently, not wanting to waste your life. If you didn't, let's just say a little cannibalism goes a long way with eggs. Viperfish caviar, anyone?
YAN! HUNTER
Orion will panic throughout your pregnancy. He really thought that he's gonna be the laidback type, knowing you'll be fine and whatnot. But noooo. Now he's here, pacing back and forth in the delivery room as he watches your face wince and cry from the pain. Oh, he almost can't take it anymore. He's begging you to get an epidural. He's really doing it. If you refused, he would shut up and look at you like a puppy kicked. But who cares about him rn? You're giving birth!
Post-delivery Orion will have him faint lol. He'll already wake up when you are cleaned up with the baby also cleaned up. He'll zoom past the nurses and midwives then go to you, where you held the baby up to your breasts to feed. He'll feel a much more overwhelming love in his heart, and he cries his heart out. If it's a clutch of eggs, he'll be starry eyed as he watched the eggs float in an egg incubator, eyes filled with adoration and gratefulness to you.
If you died, he'll be more or less in denial. No way, right? No way you just died like that after giving birth to your precious child/children. You just left them like that? You're so heartless. But deep down, he knew it wasn't your fault. And he goes home that day, eyes hollow, but filled with grief and love for your baby/ies.
YAN! KING
Soma would be pissy. Nobody should talk to him, or he'll blow his top off to them. You were giving birth! Can nobody understand that?! This is a crucial time that it needs his 101%, no, infinity percentage of his attention if that makes sense. He'll also break the rules and be inside the delivery room, letting you hold his hand and even break it. May it be from the pain or from you wanting to exact revenge. Who cares? He'll let you break it if it meant your comfort.
post-delivery Soma would be a lot calmer, and he'll immediately order the people to make you more comfortable, and treat you to make your recovery as fast as possible. Your kid will be given the best amenities, and made sure to have the best upbringing. Hell, he'll have the kid enrolled already and they only got birthed lol.
If you died, he'll be in a stormy mix of emotions. First, grief, second, denial, third, anger, and fourth, relief. Soma knew that what he did to you was wrong and not normal. He doesn't regret it at all. But now that you died when he himself did this to you... As he carries your baby in his arms, he somehow felt relief that you're gone from his clutches, and probably off to somewhere safer than by his side. He will take care of the baby, and he will slowly turn to normal.
YAN! GOD
Technically speaking, Liviticus can just spawn a kid. With the right genetic mix, etc. So it's up to you if you want to go with the nuances of pregnancy. He will be calm. Like, calm calm. It's almost unnerving how he smiles and leads you to an almost fantasy like ward (a forest) laid you down on the delivery bed (a comfortable circle mattress by the foot of a gigantic tree trunk) with helpers in tow (fantastical beasts), and guides you to a safe delivery. You weren't in pain, just a dull ache in your system as you push your child.
Post-delivery Liviticus will have him shower you with the most dazzling display of flowers and sprites dancing around you. The whole forest, and somehow the whole world feeling festive as they made this day a celebration, getting a divine message that the God's child is born. Everyone is ecstatic as they gave thanks to you, and worship you, and give blessings to you.
Again, unlikely to die. Considering your mortal body is dead, and now you're a goddess/god, you cannot die no matter what.
YAN! PROSECUTOR
Yuta was a nervous soon to be father, but he's more or less calm. He's following procedures to a tee, almost robot like. But in reality, he's on autopilot. He already panicked enough internally that he's robotic in your delivery day. You're already worried enough, why would he burden you with his whims and wiles too? He can't afford you getting your mind off of the baby at all. So, he's acting all calm and collected as he held your hand, wishing for everything to be over.
Post-birth Yuta will have him finally break down. At first, all of the personnel around him and you will be shocked as he slumps down to his knees. He doesn't even know why too. Until the tears fell, one by one and he's sobbing from relief. He'll thank you a thousand times, prostrate in front of you, and be spoiling you once you're good to eat. He's truly grateful.
If you die, Yuta will also fall to his knees and sob, but this time from grief as he lost his trusty partner, his true love. Why did he kill all of those people for? Just for you to die? He misses you a lot. He wants to hold you, kiss you again... But all for naught. Mysteriously, the people who helped you give birth died in random patterns. He'll also include others to put the suspicion off of him. But who cares right now? As he cradles your baby and watches the whole midwifery section burn and ensure that no mother dies from giving birth, he sighs, and wishes you were there with him.
#lizzaneiaelizalde#yandere writing#tw yandere#yandere male#yandere imagines#yandere boyfriend#male yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere fic#yandere x you
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Hello hello, I love your work and was wondering if you'd be open to making a little breakdown of your art style?
It's really interesting to me and I love taking bits of different artists art style elements and incorporating them into my doodles to get better
Totally okay if you don't want to! 💜💜💜
Take care and have an amazing life 🤗💜☺️
Hello!! Thanks for asking 🤗 I'm not making a little breakdown of my art style I already WROTE A WHOLE ESSAY ABOUT IT!!
Sorry I exaggerated it a bit🥲🥲...
I was very happy to receive this ask, but at the same time I felt worried. Honestly, I didn’t know how to give you a relevant answer because I don’t even think I have a consistent art style 🥲. Except for my usual chibi style which I feel most comfortable with, I feel my style constantly changes. So after going back to review my old paintings, I think my style is a combination of children's book illustrations and Japanese anime style. Many times I have received comments about my paintings looking like they are from children's books, and I agree haha, maybe because I mostly draw small characters in big settings and I usually use bright colors.
My favorite artists:
My drawing style is mostly influenced by my all time favorite artists Heikala and Koyamori, I stumbled across their Insta accounts during my 1st year in college (that was 10 years ago) and from then my drawing style gradually took shape. I also admire Paulina Cassidy, mostly because I like her whimsical nature sprites theme. Recently I’ve been investing in Stephanie Law’s artwork, her coloring technique is so god-like that I hope one day I can reach that level…
Ideas and Inspirations:
Japanese anime/manga culture has had a great impact on my childhood. It was a dream come true for me to be able to pursue my college study in Japan. I think this journey greatly affected my current style. I draw lots of things from small doodles to funny comics. I'd describe my drawings as “silly and cute” since I love to make people laugh and I also live for the fluffs (Sometimes I drew angst too but it still turned out cute haha..). Aside from that, I prefer making “storytelling” illustrations with colorful backgrounds. My favorite things to draw are tiny characters in big scenery, I like to create peaceful static moments that when looking at them help warm my heart and calm my mind.
When making game fanarts, I usually take screenshots as references for background and imagine how the character will act in that setting. I just do what I feel comfortable and use my own judgment for composition … which… sometimes results in weird perspectives (and you know what I’ve just discovered the rule of third recently 😅…).
Characters:
When it comes to drawing characters, I honestly don't know how to explain my style. I think chibi is my most recognizable style, apart from that I usually draw characters in semi-chibi (is it the right way to call it??) or simple anime style. I don’t usually draw characters with dynamic poses or movements ( that’s why I still suck at anatomy and expression 😩😩). I think I’m shifting from anime to a more cartoon style since I kinda have same face problem and I’m trying to practice face shapes.
I think my character drawing style is most influenced by Akihiko Yoshida (who is behind many FF/Nier/ bravely default concepts), as I always draw my characters with chubby round faces and dreamy eyes. I made an example of how I usually draw my characters below.
Technique:
Watercolor technique is quite complex so I’ll explain how I always do my paintings in another sharing post. I’ve posted part 1 of my sharing here. Generally, I love using bright, saturated tones and black ink brush pen or color brush to paint line work.
. I hope I could answer your question. I’m definitely no expert, all the things about art I've learn was self-taught but I'm happy to help anyway I can. 💕💕
And you 🫵🫵 yes you dear sweet anon! I wish you a happy life too!!!! 💕💕
#ama#please excuse my English and that messy handwriting#hope this one is helpful to you#sharings#my art#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc
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Any advice for women who have internalised rape fantasies/intrusive thoughts as a result of trauma? Every therapist I've spoken to has tried to get me to spin it into a "healthy sexual practice" but I'm (1) celibate and (2) don't want to encourage this. I know it's wrong and harmful to me, I hate experiencing reactions to it. But my brain won't allow me to experience pleasure without the image of myself abused. I know why, I know the reason it's bad. I just can't stop it.
Yea I was just talking to my friend about this. (Ironically the one who tried to give me the numbing spray I posted about haha)
It’s hard because I think almost every woman is sexually traumatized in one way or another. And in the moment, indulging in the pleasure of a temporary release feels good… but again, only in the moment. It really kills your soul long term. My friend said really bluntly, “Don’t jerk off to your pain because then the animal part of you won’t want it to heal.” If you make it the only way you can get off, then that incentives you to not heal and move on. The human libido is so powerful, it will destroy you to make it a force going against your healing journey.
I’m no expert but I think that it’s important to remember that while your relationship to your sexuality can degrade and rot, that means the opposite is true. It can grow and flourish. Try to only indulge in healthy forms of passion and excitement, stay away from porn or rough sex, focus on building connections with a partner you love and trust (or yourself) and explore new pleasures that are not associated with pain.
It’s really hard, on an individual level and also because it’s going against the grain of the culture, but it can be done. It just takes patience and time, and lot of self love. I hope this helped girl ❤️
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IWTV is the best show on TV. In today’s media environment, it is singular to be able to enjoy a show without the toxicity of the large fandoms. I have found that a majority of the show’s fans are hardcore Anne Rice fans making conversations about the show far more interesting. I am concerned of how this will change once S1 premiers on Netflix. The show deserves a larger audience and it will get it after it premiers on Netflix, but I hope the show runners remain true to the source material and continue on the path they have laid. Looking forward to future IWTV episodes.
Hello! Apologies for the delay in answering this, which I believe was in response to this article I wrote about the show and its audiences. With the official announcement this week that the AMC slate of shows are coming to Netflix on August 19th—
(also: lol Netflix, thank u)
—I was reminded to come back to it!
I totally agree with you re: the show itself, of course—but I also think you've curated your feeds very well haha. I've been observing many corners of the fandom throughout s2, partly because I was reporting on the fan/creator stuff, partly because I'm in the fandom, too. Fandoms are multifarious, and I'm not trying to paint with an overly broad brush—I've seen a ton of creativity and plenty of smart analysis etc. But I have also seen *so* much toxicity and *so* many willfully bad readings over the past few weeks, it's been shocking. Twitter in particular seems to have a literal Discourse of the Day and I don't understand how this is going to be sustainable over the year+ until s3 (lord help us all when s3 arrives lol).
There's a running joke—made so many times I'm not even thinking of a specific post—that people fear ~the Netflix masses~ will bring Bad Takes, but it seems highly likely a casual viewer will go, "Wow! Entertaining!" and move on with their lives, whereas existing fans of this show are already rocket-launching The Worst Takes at each other like clockwork (and even at random viewers who love the show but aren't a part of fandom conversations—because they don't like a person's phrasing, or the picture they chose for a post, etc etc etc).
As far as the idea that Rolin Jones or AMC will waver from their plans, I absolutely don't see that happening. AMC has long licensed their shows to large-audience platforms (Netflix in particular), but they're not making TV *for* those platforms. Jones and (IWTV EP) Mark Johnson have been pretty explicit about how they only could have made this show at AMC. I also found these post-finale comments from Jones very interesting:
I’m confident that we made the best vampire show we could make. I’m proud of the adaptation. There’s the element of second windows, how these things are going to be disseminated going forward. There does seem to be a lot of legwork done by fans. I look at 98 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, and part of me is like, Ugh, that’s way too high. If the intention here is to make something that will haunt you and that will work 15, 20 years from now, did we piss off enough people?
There was another interview I cannot find now about how a larger viewing audience in those "second windows" means more chances for the people who really connect to the show to find it. I've loved seeing that this season, even—people who hadn't checked it out for whatever reason and have now been changed by it. When I wrote that article, fans were kind of cycling in an information vacuum, with minimal signals from AMC/the creators that the metrics for success weren't a pure numbers game. But in the final press run, they hit that message hard—they are in it for the long run, they want to make the best show they can, and they understand this is a sustained partnership with fans. I think they're going to continue taking the biggest creative swings they can, and I can't wait to see what's next.
(BTW, IWTV folks: I pulled @flourish away from their baby for 90 minutes and despite their combined total of perhaps 10 hours of sleep over the past 4 weeks lol we managed to finally record a season 2 special episode. It should be out for patrons early next week!)
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Hot summer days (modern au)
It is very relevant right now as now the summer has reached, hot summer days so I thought I will make a post about it.
The summer time a great time to have vacations and enjoy, the beautiful days of summer after all the other seasons. When it comes to summer there are very hot day, that reach the temperatures so hot that there are limited stuff to do. Soon these hot days are mostly spent on trying to cool off, not getting that much effect but sun.
Jake " gosh it so hot"
y/n " it going to be hot all well Jake"
Jake " yeah all training on base will be held indoor if they can, but mostly it will be paperwork and some other task"
y/n " that good"
neytiri " I will be at the clinic hot days like this always send patients to us, we are also doing work with the community center near by"
y/n " well both of you be safe today and drink enough water as well"
Jake " we will sweetie"
y/n " I sucks we couldn't get ac in the house but we do have enough fans"
Jake " oh yes fans from our adulthood and ones we got after we got the house"
y/n " yes"
neytiri " but we definitely need to get ac for next year"
y/n " yes that is true even due the fans are good it, will be good to have ac as well"
????? " good morning" the three adult had looked to see neteyam standing there.
Jake " you are up early Buddy you mostly sleep in a bit longer, during the summer times"
neteyam " I couldn't anymore the heat had gotten to me, so I woke up took a cold shower and got dressed"
neytiri " oh teyam"
Jake " where are the rest of the crew"
lo'ak" we are all up and dressed as well it was a good time to go shopping, for shorts last week"
Jake " good because we all need to be make sure we stay cool today"
lo'ak " I and the boys had plans to visit the stake park today, but it to hot to be doing that"
y/n " I'm sorry buddy maybe if get cooler you all can go"
kiri " if that happens but my cactus seem to be doing well in this heat"
lo'ak " oh great for your cactus kiri they are doing super while we are all getting fried in this heat"
kiri " hey I was giving some positive I also don't like this heat"
neytiri " we are all in the same boat kids hot days suck but we are not, going to fight each other right now"
kids " yes mom"
y/n " we can still find some fun to do kids even if that means, spending all the day inside"
tuk " oh can me make homemade popsicles"
y/n " yes we can and we even have ice cream as well thanks to your dad"
Jake " hey I will not let my family go without ice cream on hot days"
tuk " thank you dad"
neytiri " well I and Jake need to get to work but please leave some ice cream or popsicles for us"
kids " yes ma'am" Jake and neytiri soon left quickly hoping into their cars, and leaving the house it didn't take that long until there was a knock at the door.
lo'ak " hey spider bro you are here"
spider ' yeah sorry for taking so long I decided to take a shower and find, some perfect clothes to wear during this heat"
y/n " hey kiddo"
spider " hey auntie"
tuk " we are going to make popsicles"
kiri " it good you are here spider now we need to wait for everyone else"
aonung " we are here now to grace everyone with our present"
lo'ak " oh so we are being curse I see"
aonung " haha very funny still failing that trick I see"
rotxo " can you both fight inside the air conditioner house" the teens soon came into the house.
y/n " hello children it good you are all here"
tsireya " thank you for having us over our mom said to bring you some strawberries as a thank you"
y/n " aww thank you kids"
lo'ak " we are in lucky today as we are making popsicle"
rotxo " that amazing" the kids are hanging downstairs cooling off, and finding ways to entertain themselves as well. It a hot day right now you were not doing, that to much that will make you overwhelmed. The kids had helped you make popsicles after they took a break, from what they were doing. They seem to be having a good time.
y/n " hey kids the popsicles are ready"
tuk " yeah" the kids had taken the popsicle's they wanted and soon sat in the living room with you.
loak “ these are good mama”
y/n “ well I’m happy you all love them”
Kiri “ it cool we made some of them with water and the other with yogurt”
y/n “ yes I use to make these when I was younger living, with your mom and dad during our hot summer days”
neteyam “ didn’t dad take you and mom with him on a road trip one summer”
y/n “ yes it was fun and we were dating during that time, so we got a RV and headed off on the road”
Tuk “ can we do that one day mama beauty please”
y/n “ sure we can do that your dad has been talking about doing a group trip, as we had done trips with our group”
tsireya “ that sounds amazing we can go see all the wonderful places, we love by traveling on the road”
Kiri “ if a big enough RV for us all I’m good”
y/n “ I can make that happy”
Ao’nung “ have these popsicle makes the heat bearable, but it this hot”
y/n “ the heat will go down soon kiddo maybe we able to get some sleep tonight” the group had laughed as they all lay around, enjoying the coolness of the room.
later on that night
Jake “ hey we are home we brought some food and guests”
y/n “ hey everyone”
ronal “ hello we came over to enjoy a cool evening with family and friends”
tonowari “ along with we didn’t feel like cooking today as well”
y/n “ I understand I was going to do takeout as well, for the family as turning anything on to cook is no go”
Tsu’tey “ we also learned you made popsicles as well”
y/n “ yes and there enough to go around as well”
norm “ sweet next hot day at the laboratory in stay at home like you”
y/n “ told you so I love it there but when it gets hot,it not good”
Jake “ well I’m going to put the food down and get myself a popsicle, because I need one right now” the food was place down as everyone went to themselves popsicles, and joining everyone else in the living room while talking about their days. Also a future trip with everyone taking a fun road trip as well, during the summer time. Even due the day was a hot day of summer it had been memorable and rewarding in the end.
#avatar#atwow#avatar 2#avatar x reader#avatar x y/n#avatar the way of water#sully family x reader#avatar 2009#neytiri x reader#jake x reader#jake sully x reader#jake sully x neytiri#jake sully x y/n#jake sully x you#neytiri x jake#neytiri x y/n#neytiri x you#sully kids#sully family x y/n#neteyam sully#tuktirey#tuk sully
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Hi. I just read about 'writing agatha' by trickofthelights and I must say that everything she wrote were true and valid. Upon reading it, I've also realized why I love all your fics. The way you write Agatha - it has this level of accuracy - but what I love about it is that you are staying true to Agatha as a character but I can still see your soul in your writing.
And also the comedy - haha I cannot count how many times I have laughed uncontrollably because of Agatha's remarks lol. Especially her comments on Dottie and Wanda in Chaconne? That is a comedy treat. I love it so much.
You are a genius and I can feel that you really love what you are doing. Please never stop writing.
Ps. I am looking forward to the Lark updates. No pressure, though. I'm just here, sat and relaxed, a beer in my hand waiting for your updates . <3
Much love,
Reader
Helloooo and happy new year! <3
First, you have amazing taste. I'm a teensy bit biased, but my girlfriend is a genius and I think all of her thoughts are groundbreaking. But yes, I loved her post on writing Agatha! With that in mind, thank you so much for saying that oh my goodness. I do get nervous at times over how I portray Agatha, so this is so kind of you to say.
I think one of my many flaws as a writer (we alllll have them) is I tend to enjoy writing stories that are au's over writing canon. I think it's easier to take a character, keep their personality, traits, and all of the characteristics that we've seen in canon, and drop them into a different world. I don't know if that makes sense, it's just something I've found to be easier. I like having creative freedom to explore a different narrative and unravel different characters from what we typically see them in. But I personally can never read au's or even canon adjacent fics that change a character's personality. Just my opinion btw to anyone reading, no shade, no hate!
At her core Agatha is funny. She has this very unique dramatic flair, and as twisted and morally grey as she is, she's very very funny. I think that's why she works well (in my opinion) as a conductor. A lot of her one liners were inspired by remarks I've heard conductors say during rehearsals. I personally have so much fun writing those scenes, as well as her interactions with other characters, so I'm genuinely so thrilled you find them to be funny. I'll be typing and giggling to myself but I never know if others find them to be as amusing haha.
This is just so kind and I'm awful at accepting compliments, but truly thank you so much for saying that. I think writing has helped me through a lot of challenges over the past few years, and I'm trying to get back to the place where I can allow myself to enjoy it, so I really appreciate you saying that <3
My main focus right now is Lark! I'll be finishing all of my fics sooner rather than later (hopefully), I'm pretty determined to. I also feel so guilty for how long it takes me to update, but I appreciate both your patience and your kindness for sending this in. Getting to read it was a great way to start the new year!
I hope you're well, thank you so much for the ask <3
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2024: A retrospect
Happy new year! 2024 drew to a close in the blink of an eye, and 2025 came marching in. I hope the new year finds everyone well, and wishing all of you a good health for this year too!
I usually don't really write very long blog posts due to being shy about my own writing skills, but I decided I want to do this anyway. I wanted to look back and re-organize my thoughts about 2024, as well as write down what I hope to do and achieve in 2025. If you don't like reading long posts then please feel free to skip over! Otherwise, brace yourselves because it is going to be a LONG one indeed, haha.
Now then, where do I start...2024 has been a wild ride for me. I actually never "officially" announced it on my socials, but in April of 2024, I actually went to Japan to study and find employment there! This has been one of my biggest life-long dreams, and I am fully aware that this is a BIG priviledge that could not have been realized without the help of my parents. I'm so SO thankful for them for everything they've done for me, I definitely will not let this oppurtunity go to waste, I will do my best to get a stable job, get a stable life and then repay them back (this is my own free will) for all the financial support they have given me.
Life in Japan
Life in Japan has been good. Of course, it's not all rainbows and sunshine all the time, and I have definitely faced my fair share of obstacles as well as having identity crisis multiple times, lol. But the things I have learned and experienced here far exceeded the negativites.
I came here with the determination of first improving my language skills, especially my verbal skills, and also to improve my social skills. Through my school, I ended up joining in the local community work of picking up trash in the morning and sharing a cup of tea or coffee afterwards. Although I originally inteded to join to practice interacting with the local people, I found myself enjoying this volunteer work so much that I eventually just started joining out of my own volition instead of through school. I also joined a lot of other programmes, such as a short homestay program and a longer homestay + cultural exchange program amongst other things. All in all, I really tried my best and I think I have somewhat succeeded in my goals! I could communicate with locals now without much issues, and I can listen to radio shows or watch TV shows with minimal to no subtitles now (and also understand most of what people in real life are saying of course!). Also, not to toot my own horn, but a lot of locals have also commented about how natural my accent sounds, and it makes me very happy to hear that because I worked really, really hard, so it felt like a validation of my efforts ;w;
As you all may have realized, in exchange for me putting in the time and effort in real life, 2024 was a very very barren year for me art-wise lol. I didn't draw much (didn't had the time and energy or the willpower) this year, but I somehow still managed to make some drawings as well as making a doujinshi with a friend this year and took part in Reitaisai Autumn 2024! I have always thought of participating in Reitaisai as a dream that would never come true in my life, but I'm glad that wasn't the case… thank you to my friend Opu for inviting me as well as shouldering most of the things from planning to printing and also the booth setup T_T!
Expressing Thanks
On that note, I would also like to take some time to express my gratitude to a plethora of people, as well as the smaller things in life that brought about so much more positivity in my life.
First of all, and as mentioned earlier, I would like to thank my parents for giving my this opportunity to come abroad and believe in my one last time for me to achieve my dreams. I actually didn't really have a very good relationship with my parents prior to this, and despite that they still cared for me enough to send me abroad and only wished the best for me…physical distance with them has opened my eyes to so many more other things, not just my feelings towards them, but also things that contributed to my personal growth. I've not only grown closer to them in the past year, I've also finally become "independent". It is hard for me to put it into words, but I truly felt myself finally becoming an adult this year, and I will get deeper into that later (want to tie it together with a small announcement).
Next off, are my friends in Japan who has helped me so much with adjusting to life here, as well as hanging out with me when we have time! I'm not sure if they are ccomfortable with me naming them, but I've also witnessed their very very major growth in their pursued field this year, and it just makes me so, so proud to be able to call them my friend! To see them achieve their own dreams and goals, it motivates ME a lot to work towards my own! Also!! They always hear me out when I have troubles of my own, and also gave me so much practial advice (particularly for when I was applying to part time jobs), I am forever so grateful for them and I would honestly gladly d*e for them lmao that is how extremely grateful I am towards my friends!! I don't know if they are reading this or not but if you are YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! いつもありがとうね!!This year is the year I will make you proud!!!!!
(ahem). Jokes aside, I would also like to thank my school, and my school teachers for making my Japanese improve so much lol. I really came here with ¼ of that bucket filled, and it is thanks to their teaching that I gradually filled it up, and now I think the bucket is probably like 70% filled…..learning is a never ending journey though, so I would like to continue improving my Japanese even after I graduate! If I continue to list more people I think this post is never going to end…but last one ok I would like to thank my co-workers at my part time job too for being some of the nicest people I've ever worked with!! And the customers who come to the shop! They always put a smile on my face!! Thank you so much!
Other things I'm grateful for!
Being able to eat what I want whenever I want!
Being able to go to Karaoke and release steam every Sunday morning!
The manga and drama "What Did You Eat Yesterday" for being my comfort media when I just came here and was filled with much anxiety! It was like having 2 more dads in my life, lol
Getting to know Hoshino Gen's works! His songs, especially "SUN", uplift me a lot! I listen to his songs almost daily now because it's a great energy booster…also, his literature works are very inspiring! I've since became obsessed with this guy to a kinda crazy level actually I'm so sorry lol but I HOPE I CAN GO TO HIS CONCERT THIS YEAR SCREAMS (prays for my ticket lottery)
Saizeriya for being cheap and delicious. I love you Saizeriya!!!
A final look back, as well as what's to come
This post has gotten way too long…sorry for that but if anyone's still sticking around, thank you for reading me yap so much!
2024 was really such a wild ride for me. I can safely say that my life has changed for the better ever since coming to Japan, and I'm excited to tackle 2025 and the challenges it has in store for me.
In regards to what would happen to my art/drawings, I have…so much I want to say, but because this post is long enough, I'll try to be brief.
Starting from 2025, I will no longer be taking personal art commissions. Commercial commissions would be heavily considered, but for the most part, I would like to take a step back from drawing for work.
It was not an easy decision to make, and reaching this point took a lot of energy on my part as well. I love drawing, I love to draw for others and see them be happy with the work I made for them. But I'm not cut out to be a freelance artist. The past 2 years was honestly, a very very lonely time for me. Sure I had more flexibility in time and scheduling, but I didn't have financial stability, and "making enough money" just ate away at me all the time to the point of destroying my mental health, and causing a rift between me and my family. Despite all this negativity though, I'm just glad I experienced it in my 20s when I'm still young and had the room to make mistakes like this.
And of course, I am always thankful to those who have commissioned me, or bought my art at events! I will always remember your kindness and support. If it wasn't for all of you, I wouldn't be surviving till today. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
So where do I go from here?
I cannot 100% predict what the future holds for me, but my most important goal for now is to secure a proper job as a 正社員 in a company here, hopefully obtain a working visa and start planting my roots here in Japan!
In my free time, I would like to work on translating some of my favourite books from JP -> EN. I don't want to bet on freelance work again a second time, especially not in a foreign country…but, it would be nice if one day I could ACTUALLY officially work to translate those favourite books of mine. And what better way to achieve that than to actually start putting in the work? I know it's going to be a tough road but I will work hard!
Art will take a backseat from now on, but that doesn't mean I will stop drawing! It's just that I will mostly be drawing for myself now.
Thank you to everyone who has looked at my drawings up until this point. For those who choose to stay and continue following me, thank you and I hope you will continue to watch over my journey.
Stay safe, and have a great 2025.
fishy魚子
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just came across one of your posts about being a worshipper with ADHD, and I'm the same. I've been in and out of my practice and faith for the past four years, mostly due to life situations but partially due to my ADHD (and additionally as I was raised atheist and have no point of reference for any religiousness haha). Do you have any tips for someone trying to remain consistent with their worship? <33 hope college is treating you kindly
Omg! First of all, thank you so much for the ask! College is treating me fairly well, and much better than it did last year-
I relate to this ask a lot oh my. The being raised atheist part is also SO true. Being raised athiest affects so much of my worship I think.
This is just what works for me and it may not work for you, so please trust me when I say that if this list doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean nothing will. I know sometimes when resources don’t work it can feel very disheartening but I promise something will.
So for me, having all my prayers and info I want to remember about my deities written down in a google doc has been really helpful, because my memory is VERY unreliable. You can keep this as a physical thing instead of digital but I have google docs on my phone, so it’s always with me. I have a lot written on there - epithets, prayers, lists of potential offerings, myths I want to remember, etc. this isn’t even strictly an ADHD thing, im sure many people do this and it might be obvious to some but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Next, try making worship into part of your routine. This makes it so much easier to be consistent in it! I don’t mean saying good morning/goodnight to deities (that’s awesome and so valid, but I can NEVER make it a habit, then I feel bad after not having done it for a while). Personally, I devote showers to Aphrodite because of her association with water and the fact that it’s a self care thing. Whenever I remember, I offer food to my deities if I’m eating something I associate with them. I listen to music on my way to college, so if I’m listening to a song I associate with them, I’ll think about them while listening to it. Since I’m a student, I offer a lot of my college stuff to Athena (flash cards, annotated books, etc) and invite Her to study with me. Things like that are a lot easier to remember to do than trying to remember to take specific time out of the day for worship if that makes sense?
So far this blog is also helping me stay consistent! Talking about my deities so much on here, and finding stuff to reblog, means I’m thinking about them a lot more than I would otherwise.
I haven’t done this yet myself but I thought of it while writing this out. Maybe centre aspects of worship around any current hyperfixations you have? If there’s a show you really like, invite them to watch it with you. If you’re getting into a new hobby, maybe it comes under a domain of a deity you worship, and even if not you could still dedicate it to them (like making crafts and offering them to Athena or Hephaestus for example? If it’s a sport, dedicate it to Ares. Etc)
This last one, I can’t stress this enough, and it’s something I forget too - be kind to yourself. We aren’t perfect. We are going to forget. We aren’t always going to be consistent. I truly think our deities understand and expect this of us, and that as long as we aren’t outright disrespectful they won’t hold it against us if we aren’t always able to fully devote ourselves to them, y’know? We’re people. We have busy lives. Our brains don’t work that well sometimes. But we love and respect our deities so much and they definitely see that!
If there’s typos in this I’m so sorry, I hope it makes sense
#hellenic polytheism#adhd deity worship#hellenic deity worship#deity worship#hero worship#hellenism#adhd paganism#asks#anon ask#tips
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