#I'm honestly just kinda feeling sad lately

[shadowbrightshine]

I used to have that problem as a child. I have autism and because I had so much more trouble looking at faces, I learned most of my facial expressions from TV shows.

First off this led to problems, because there's alot of animation shorthand poses that just do not work irl and I probably confused people even more...

But the other is that's how I conceptualized my face in my head. Like an animated character or more often my favorite anime. Digimon.

And then I'd catch a look in the mirror and my face would look wrong. I'd practice my faces and none of them looked right. I'd cry because I was doing the same thing, but now when I looked at myself it looked bad. I hated videos of myself because my face never matched my memories.

I didn't have any friends either. Just people who would spend 5 or 10 minutes with me on the playground. I was better friends with the flock of birds that lived in a fence across the street from the school. The house attatched was all overgrown with plants and squirrels also lived there. There was this group of 5 or so birds that would start hopping out first and all the dozen others would follow them. And then it was a little storm of loud bird chirping as they picked new spots to sit or left to find food. I talked to the tree in the yard more than people because it was solid and couldn't move away the next year. And it hurt. Because I'm very extroverted, I need people, even if I can't talk to them I need them nearby at least. And I was alone surrounded by a hundred other kids who didn't like me or didn't think of me at all.

I can't even remember much of it. Not past some of those key things. I likely repressed those memories even now in my 20s. My mom says I came home crying ever other day or so. I got pets and it helped a lot, but at school I was still lonely. I didn't really understand emotions very well yet. There was a girl who yelled at me because I kept trying to cheer her up. I was so used to feeling bad all the time that I probably didn't realize it was ok to be sad. And on those days I'd cry because I thought it was my fault she was still upset most days. She didn't like me in the first place. I was so determined to make her happy that I made both of our emotions worse.

I have other memories of those years. Smaller ones.

I didn't really start gaining real friends until late into school and, honestly? Most of them weren't my friends either.

It's only now in college I have people who I truly look forwards to seeing, and people who want me to come spend time with them. They invite to coffee, I bring them over for a movie, I catsit for them and we get each other birthday gifts.

And I found a boyfriend. A guy who I've known for a lot longer than us dating and worked up the courage to ask to date. And he brings me so much joy whether we stay bf and gf or not. I want him in my life. And he wants me in his. And I think this year is one of the first I haven't really felt lonely.

Sorry to rant on this. Kinda poured out my heart at 7am on accident.

that moment when martin looked in the mirror and didn’t recognise his reflection? yeah i felt that

[scammydoesstuff]

Been a minute since I've been able to draw or even post anything. And that's cuz I've been busy af with a job that's been slowly killing me for the last 8 months. But it's all good; I'm actually leaving that shithole at the end of the week. Yay! Maybe that means I can open up commissions again since I'll actually have time for them? Who's to say...

Anyway! Had a rough weekend at Fan Expo Chicago last week, and I've kinda had this in mind to draw ever since my disappointing interaction with Neil Newbon. He was very nice, but it felt pretty clear that he only really cared about Astarion. And, like, to a degree I get it? Astarion seems like a cool character that means a lot to a lot of people, but to act like no one cares anymore about Resident Evil Village cuz it's an "older game" (his words, not mine), kinda killed my mood for the weekend. Not to mention coming back with COVID. That was also a bummer...

*I* still love Heisenberg, at least. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. ❤️‍🩹

[dollfacefantasy]

LITTLE BAMBI EYES ♡

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: how leon loves you so. his beautiful bride. he loves your sweet face and pretty eyes. he just can't understand why he loves to see both overcome with tears.

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, blowjob, dacryphilia, daddy kink, age gap (20s, late 30s)

a/n: thank you to whoever requested this. i've been kinda missing daddy leon </3

kinktober slot: day 19 - dacryphilia

Sometimes you make Leon feel like a horrible person.

It's not anything you do or say. Nothing intentional on your part at all. Honestly, it's kind of just his default setting around you simply for the fact that you're wearing a ring on your finger that ties you to him for the rest of your life while also being over ten years younger than him.

You've told him over and over that it's not a big deal. This is the modern world, baby. He just has to get with the times. No one cares about the two of you, and even if they do, who gives a shit? You're a responsible adult, and the two of you love each other. That's all there is to it.

And while he tends to agree with your speeches in the moment, they don't completely erase the guilt from his subconscious. Though his feelings of unease would probably remain at that deeper level if not for days like today.

Today, Leon had arrived home from a mission. It had been a particularly long one, spanning almost a whole month. Nearly thirty days of waiting around and doing recon work, tasks that could've been done by those on a lower level of the government's hierarchy than him, before completing the objective. He was more than ready to come home to you. The longing to see your face again, to hear your voice, it was practically a physical ailment at this point.

The moment he came through the door you were there. You latched onto him and wouldn't let go. He had to drop his stuff by the entryway so he could scoop you up and carry you to the nearest chair in the living room.

He sits down with you in his lap, allowing you to smother him in kisses and fuss over how he looks so tired. But what makes him feel so awful, what causes the gnawing ache that festers in his chest in regards to your relationship is when he sees your eyes begin to grow misty.

It starts with watery eyes and then your voice cracks and you can barely get a word out before you're whimpering and tucking your face into the crook of his neck. You cry and cry about how you were so worried and you missed him so much and you never want him to leave you again.

The whole thing makes him feel guilty on a surface level. He never wants to make his pretty little wife cry. He doesn't want her going sick with worry because of him. But the other layer of this thing that truly makes him feel like something is wrong with him comes from the fact that your display of emotion gets him hard.

He tries with everything he has to stop it. He's not even sure what it really is about it that gets him going like this. In his mind, he tries to rationalize that he just finds it sweet that you miss him. It's just cute, it's not something he needs to agonize over. He doesn't really know, but also when the blood starts rushing South, he doesn't really care.

You sniffle and tighten your arms around his torso while he coos at you and rubs your back. He hushes you gently while adjusting in his seat to make sure you don't feel the swell of his bulge just yet. Sure, he's turned on by your tears, but that doesn't make him inconsiderate. He lets you get most of it out first before trying anything else.

"Shh, shh, shh. It's ok. I'm right here, baby. I made it home safe and sound like always," he murmurs against your hairline, "There's no reason to cry, I don't want you wasting any tears on me."

He swipes away those small droplets of water with his thumb before directing you to look up at him. Your expression makes him smile. Despite their sadness, your eyes gleam with so much love. Your lip wobbles with all the care that pumps through your beating heart.

"So emotional," he teases softly, "C'mon, sweetheart, gimme a kiss. Let me make it better."

Without hesitation, you lean in. He smirks against your lips, cupping your cheek and guiding you in the exchange. It's the opening he needs to make things seem natural. He can act like he's just so pent up from being away that a few kisses got him hot under the collar. Not that he popped a boner as soon as he saw tears pooling against your lash line.

It works. You scoot closer and feel the stiff length graze your thigh. It'd been a long time since you'd had him too. Feeling that familiar hardness against your soft flesh is all it takes for explicit ideas to begin blooming in your mind.

Before he knows it, you're on your knees between his legs. Your lips slide up and down his cock, gliding the shaft into your warm, wet mouth down to your throat. His head tilts back against the sagging cushion of his chair. He pets the crown of your head while you work, wordless appreciation for your efforts.

A deep sigh leaves him as your tongue traces along the veins. You get a groan out of him for flicking your tongue at the ridge. After a few more sucks, you pull off and stroke him instead. 

He hears a soft sniffle. His eyes snap down to you on the floor, and he realizes that you're still crying. A moan bubbles up in his throat. He tries to stifle it, but parts of it still break free.

"Hey, hey. What- what's wrong? You ok?" he chokes out, trying to sound normal and not like he's about to lose it.

You nod while looking up at him with those glossy eyes. Your hand doesn't stop pumping him as tears roll down your cheeks.

"I just missed you so much," you whimper.

Your knuckles graze your cheek. The duality of your cute, tear-streaked face next to your skilled hand jerking him off is nearly too much to take in.

"I'm right here," he says, trying to offer comfort, "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, but you don't get it. I just missed you," you cry again. Another few drops fall as you blink and your lip quivers.

In a way, Leon does understand. It's not that you're currently upset, it's just lingering feelings causing your emotions to act up a bit. He doesn't have a problem with it regardless of the cause though. Not if this is the result.

You go back in to suckle the tip. Your lips wrap around him in a little, perfect 'o.' It feels like you've come straight from heaven to do this for him. He doesn't think it can get any better until you look up at him. Seeing your eyes full of tears while you pleasure him is a whole other kind of sensation.

Hissing in ecstasy, he knows for certain now that he can't last that. He gently guides your mouth off before yanking you up into his lap.

"Can't have you crying like that, honey. Let daddy make it better," he mutters while tugging your shorts down and haphazardly working them off of you.

You help him out and shimmy your panties down too before lining his cock up at your entrance and sinking down. The whole month since you'd last taken it was worth it now. You bounce up and down, letting the familiar filling sensation seep in.

Cries pour from your lips openly, and his eyes roll back. His hands rest on your hips with a loose grip. The touch is present enough to offer the illusion that he's helping.

"Feels so good," you whimper.

"Does it, baby? Just what you were missing, huh?" he rasps.

You nod quickly as your body rises and falls. He feels you squeezing around him, your walls fluttering each time he splits you open.

Once he's calmed down a bit, he starts to rock his hips upwards against yours. He drives himself a little deeper inside you, nudging all the spots you weren't hitting before. You tilt forward and put your head back against his throat like you'd had it earlier.

"That's right. Keep crying for me," he grunts as he picks up his own pace a bit, "Let daddy hear how much you missed him."

Another sob tumbles from you as if prompted by the command. He holds you close and rubs your back like this is a normal method of soothing you. Tears leak out against his throat, trickling down to his collarbone. He can feel the warm liquid and the brush of your eyelashes on his sensitive skin.

"My good girl. Daddy's got you," he sighs.

He pounds up into you with a few more thrusts. The rock of his hips slides his pelvis against your clit, working you towards the end. You whimper and cling to him, arms wrap around his shoulders with the strength of a vise.

"So pretty when you're all weepy for me," he murmurs.

His hands tighten around your waist, actually keeping you in place now for him to thrust into. He grits his teeth. The sensation in the pit of his stomach lets him know he's close to the edge too.

"Fuck... you close, angel?" he asks.

You nod, still not lifting your head from the safety of his shoulder.

The response is good enough for him though. He can feel you clamping around him. Every stroke elicits a wet squelch from between your bodies. You're gushing for him, ready to explode. Tears pour from your eyes in a seemingly endless supply.

"Let me have it. Don't hold back," he directs in a strained tone while creeping to the high himself.

He thrusts in deep and slams you down on him before spilling his load inside you. The sensation brings you to your peak and rips another cry from you. You hiccup out a moan between the sobs. Your nails dig into his shoulders while your body shudders. Even though you'd only cum once, it feels like everything is overloaded.

His hips continue to move, fucking his release into you and working you through the waves of euphoria. 

"Fuck-" he hisses, "That's my girl. Fuck, you're my girl. My baby. So good for me."

His fucked out words hit your ears and get you feeling all loopy. Your head stays against his shoulder, content to rest there while he takes what he needs. A few more tears slide out against your silken skin.

Your body feels limp on top of his by the time you're both through it. He feels boneless too, sunken into his seat while catching his breath.

You're still crying a little bit. He can hear it right by his ear. To get more comfortable, he reaches down and pulls the lever that causes the chair to recline. It pushes you fully against his body and lets him hold you better. His fingers trace little circles on the small of your back while his other arm drapes across your shoulder blades.

"I missed you too, baby," he whispers with a small kiss to your head.

[geeeemmmmmmm]

"Baby I'm Yours"

A/N:I've been randomly just getting ideas for fics all day and I needed to write at least one so as always sorry for any mistakes and enjoy:)

Summary:A new receptionist at the tower is being more friendly than your used to, luckily your boyfriend Bucky comes to the rescue for you

Warnings:Receptionist is kinda touchy(not much) other than that just some fluff(please say if I've missed anything:))

WC:1.4k

Your day was going well so far, you had just left your shared apartment much to Bucky's dismay as he wasn't required to come in today so you had to go in alone. As you walked in your eyes were darting around trying to find Keira, the old receptionist that you enjoyed talking to on your way in and out but instead you encountered the new guy, Jamie. "Where's Keira?" you asked puzzled as she was never not here and quite frankly you were confused "She left, some family thing" the man replied not seeming to care about what happened to her "Oh well I'm Y/N" you smiled sweetly reaching out to shake his hand as he quickly grabbed your hand and shook it for a little longer than most but you didn't notice "I'm Jamie" he replied in awe. "Well I'll see you round then!" you said happily as you pulled your hand away before him and walked off to greet Nat who was keeping the elevator open not noticing how Jamie watched you with lingering eyes as you disappeared into the elevator. 

It was a boring day without Bucky being there, he always finds spare time in his day to talk to you more like he isn't already dating and living with you but you kept your cheery composure up as you went to the front desk to say bye to Jamie. "Hey Y/N!" he said hurriedly as if you were about to run off on him "Hi Jamie" you replied sweetly, like you would to anyone but this just hooked Jamie in more as he tried to get some small talk in and you compiled for awhile. "Uhm it's getting quite late and my boyfriend will be worried" you said trying to still seem nice as you glanced at your watch then at Jamie as he stumbled his words around to eventually get a sad "Oh cya then" out as you started to speed up your pace out the door, eager to get home to your favourite person even though it wasn't even that late you just wanted to be at home.

Bucky was almost pacing a hole in the ground in front of the door as he already heard your footprints approaching. He was ready to almost tackle you with one of his bear hugs. You open the door with a sigh of relief ready to be met with what you're convinced is the love of your life as you're pulled into him. "Hey Buck" you said only slightly muffled by his chest as he was basically trying to merge you into him, "Hey Doll" he breathed out acting like he needs you more than the air he breathes, which is honestly true in his mind. It's not often you two are apart even for just a day so each of you are always more clingy with each other after you're apart. "God today was boring without you" you said as you managed to get you and Bucky to your couch without him letting his arms unwrap from your waist "How do you think I feel" he chuckled in reply as you just gazed at him as you blushed, even after months of dating Bucky still always manages to get you flustered.

The night was just a simple one, your favourite kind. Bucky was glued to you, always having his chin resting on your shoulder as you fixed up a small dinner for you both while he tried to distract you by kissing all down your neck "If you give me a hickey Barnes" you threatened as you cupped his cheek trying not to let out a laugh as he almost pouted at your words and just returned to looking at you, admiring everything he could see. After dinner you returned to the couch and laid down as Bucky's weight on top of you was such a comforting, maybe a little suffocating feeling but you were happy that he's so comfortable with you to display this much vulnerability and affection to you. His beard tickled your neck as he asked how your day was "nothing much to report, it was boring without you" you told him as you mindlessly ran your fingers through his hair, while you smiled just never getting over the fact that you found someone as perfect as Bucky. Right after saying that you heard tiny snores being emitted from your boyfriend "let's get you to bed" again you laughed as you tried to get him up but he wouldn't budge and just kept lying on you. You just gave up, it's impossible to move a super soldier against his will, even worse an unconscious one so you just inhaled his cologne that you'd always loved on him and shortly after you fell into a soft sleep.

You woke up with a massive grin on your face as you then realised you and Bucky had overslept, now normally both of you would be unphased but Tony had told everyone that there was an extremely important meeting today at 8AM sharp, it was currently 8:15 AM. You left off the couch and sprinted to the shower for the quickest shower known to man while Bucky got dressed and left out some clothes for you. It was a challenge to get to the meeting in time and Jamie saw you run in and tried to get you to talk to you "Can't talk sorry man" you said running by him as Bucky closely followed noticing how Jamie just moped in reply as you and Bucky ran to the elevator. While Jamie saw that your necklace fell off, the necklace that Bucky gave you on your birthday, the necklace that you never took off as it was so precious. Jamie didn't know any of course, only that you'll surely come back and this will give him an excuse to talk to you more.

You were distraught when you naturally reached for your neck to hold your necklace only to find that it wasn't there, you ran to Bucky holding back tears as you didn't know what you'd do without it because it means so much to you. "Shh it's ok y/n I promise" he cooed as he saw that you were about to break into tears and quickly brought you into his side. He spent the rest of the day asking his teammates if they had any clue where it was and if they had seen it but of course no one knew and just replied with a simple "Sorry Buck, I haven't". You were frantically retracing your steps searching for anything to see where it was when you came to the conclusion that it must surely be at the front desk and at least it was the end of the day so you went to find Bucky and went down in the elevator also checking if it was somehow in there. You ran up to Jamie the moment those doors opened, he somehow managed to sneak out a sly "Lost something?" before you as you were panicking "Y-Yes yes do you have my necklace?" you almost yelled at him so desperate to get it back as he just chuckled and smiled while he tried to grab your hand while you took it from him. Before you had to say to Jamie to let go of your hand Bucky came to rescue. "Found it, baby?" he said as he glared at Jamie while pressing a kiss to your cheek noticing how uncomfortable you were near Jamie. Bucky almost growled at Jamie saying "Thanks for finding my girlfriends necklace, you won't be needed again" he said with his most intimidating stare as Jamie just gulped looking like a deer in headlights absolutely dumbfounded you were dating the winter soldier. You just tucked yourself back into Bucky's side as he wrapped his flesh arm around you and walked out of the tower giving Jamie one last glare.

"Thank you for that, I don't know what I would've done without you" you whisper while staring at your necklace glad that it's back on your neck. "Anything for my girl" he spoke back in his normal soft tone around you as he blushed at you going on your tiptoes to kiss him. "Baby I'm yours" you said to him holding back a smile as you gripped his face with your palm as he just laughed and tucked you into him and softly kissed your head, perfectly content with you. "Wouldn't want it any other way" he whispered as you two slowly walked back home enjoying each other's embrace.

A/N:Bloody hell once I get writing, I cannot stop. I hope you all enjoyed!

[ilustrariane]

Hello everyone!!! i've been very OFF my personal social media lately, only work happening....i kinda....snapped... in like...october 2024 i think? like....i thought i was gonna die, at least die on the inside... i was so bad that i thought i would never grab a pencil or experience joy again.

but, several months later, and several prescribed pills later, here i am....recovering (again).

aaand i'm showing here what i've been doing! i will TRY to be here more often but i cant promise honestly...(all my energy goes into my work and my life, its hard finding energy to make personal drawings)

That first drawing was a doodle based on a The Phantom of the Opera 2004 movie still. older raoul de chagny + the nurse + destroyed opera house

This one i did as a warmup with the pencil. My baby Sam.

and this one "Remorse"....it reflects my state of mind these last few months. Lots of grief, remorse, anger, sadness, pain....while in the outside... i'm wearing a mask of numbness, i'm screaming my lungs out of how much pain i feel, while my real/old self is buried just beneath the surface, but yet i cant touch her...

Maybe i was able to touch her now, cause...here i am being creative again.

Hopefully i will be back soon! with more monsters and phantom of the opera and less personal shit i hope! lol

[sudsnribbons]

My plus one | J.M

DBF!joel miller xF!Reader

MDNI

Wordcount: 3,905

Summary: your no good boyfriend breaks up with you, right before your dads big promotion dinner, that you need a date to. of course. lucky for you, joel miller was quick to offer. anything for his buddie's little girl..right?

Warnings: big hefty age gap (reader is 19 & in her first year of college, joel is early 40s), SMUTT, no outbreak!, use of 'kiddo', dirtyoldman!joel, panty stealing (he a freak), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), p in v, use of petnames (sweetheart, darlin', ect.), (1) use of y/n, getting caught? lmk if i missed anything!

A/N: This is a long one, buckle up.. Hope you enjoy reading, as much as i did writing! <33

Two days before you were supposed to come home, for your dads big promotion dinner, bad news struck you.

In the form of a text message.

"this isn't working for me anymore, we're done."

Really? That was all the asshole could say?

"what about the dinner tyler?? tf am i supposed to do?"

"you'll figure it out."

Fuck him.

Whatever, it's not like you cared.

---

Despite not having a date, you decided to head back to Austin anyways. It was the promotion your dad had waited his whole career for.

The drive was a bit long from your college, but it lined up perfectly with the start of your spring break.

You got home around 7pm, your dad was on the porch having a beer with Joel.

Joel.

It had only been a few months since the last time you saw him, but god did he look handsome.

The amber glow of the porchlight projected on his hair, laced with silver streaks.

"Hey sweetheart, you're early.." your dad muttered out to you, placing his beer on the table between him and joel.

"Yeah I just couldn't wait until tomorrow." you smiled warmly at the man, as he embraced you in a hug.

Smiling over his shoulder to the man babysitting his miller lite.

Ironic.

"Good to see you kiddo.." he said, quietly. almost like he didn't trust his voice.

Weird.

"Good to see you too mr. Miller.", you pulled away from your dad, now facing the older man. he nodded, taking another sip of his beer. "How's sarah?" you questioned.

"Busy.. y'know how that girl is." he smiled. the corners of his mouth turned up, and wrinkled a bit with his smile lines.

You nodded in understanding. deciding it was getting a little late and you wanted to shower and unpack before you went to bed.

You drag the heavy suitcase up the stairs, its wheels hitting the wood every few steps. Turning the knob and opening the door to your bedroom, you sit the suitcase down on your bed and unzip it. Grabbing an old hoodie, underwear, and pair of shorts for after your shower.

Socked feet patter down the hallway as you make your way to the bathroom, passing your mothers room and noticing her at her vanity.

"Hey sweetheart, when did you get here?" she asked, as she slid out from the seat. standing up to give you a hug. "Maybe like 20 minutes ago?" you said, over her shoulder, honestly forgetting.

She nodded and began, "So when is Tyler coming in? The dinner is in two days sweetheart." your heart kinda sunk at the mention of his name. "Oh uhm-" you didn't know how to tell her. "We broke up." you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and stared at the floor. "Oh honey are you okay?" she asked, going in for a hug once again, you declined. "Yeah mom I'm alright." she smiled at you, sad for you. "What are you going to do about the dinner?" she asked. "I'm actually not sure, I'll figure it out." she nodded her head. "I'm gonna shower, it's getting late." she agreed, and you continued to the bathroom.

Latching the door behind you, you turned the dial on the shower and let the water heat up. Steam covered the mirror and dripped down in condensation. Shedding the clothes off from the drive, you stepped under the water and sighed at the feeling of warmth embracing you.

45 minutes later, you stepped out of the shower. Skin radiating steam from the heat of the water. You grabbed a white fluffy towel and wrapped it around your body. Drying off and getting dressed, you walked down the hallway and to your room. Moving the suitcase off the bed, and untucking the comforter from the sheets. Sliding your body between the mattress and comforter you plugged in your phone and went to sleep.

--

You woke up around 8am, to the all too familiar smell of breakfast. Yawning, you grabbed your phone, slipping it into the front pocket of your hoodie. Slowly making your way down the stairs, you lock eyes with-

No.

Oh my god no.

Joel.

Joel Miller.

In your kitchen.

All the while you looked like you just rolled out of bed.

Well in your defense-

Your internal voice was cut off by his gruff one.

"Morning' kiddo." he said nonchalantly, taking a bite of bacon. "Morning?" you said confused, looking between your parents as you sat down at the table. "Honey, I was just telling your father about Tyler.." your mom started and you groaned, "Mom I don't want to talk about this right now." she shushed you, filling up your glass with orange juice from the pitcher. "No, now just listen." she tried again, your father and Joel sitting in silence. Taking a sip from your glass, you listened. "Joel doesn't have a date either.. he so kindly offered to take you!" she said smiling, taking a scoop of eggs from the pan before handing the plate to you and sitting down. You almost choked. "I'm sorry what?"  you felt like you could die from embarrassment, this can't be happening. "As a friend of course." Joel chimed in, your dad nodded. "He's just helpin' out your old man." your dad smiled towards you. "Right." you forced a bite of eggs down. Joel silently ate his breakfast as your mom began to speak once more, "now I know you probably don't have a dress yet, so we are going to head into town after breakfast to find you something nice." you nodded, taking another sip of orange juice.

God, I wish this was a mimosa.

--

You opted for a simple outfit to shop. needing something easy to change in and out of, all the while beating the Texas heat. Brushing your hair and putting a pair of sunglasses on your head. Simple makeup, fearing anything more would melt right off. Slipping on your birkenstocks, you walked down the stairs and to your mother who was ready at the door.

--

You went to every boutique your mother could drag you into. Dressing you up like a Barbie doll. After what felt like 50 dresses you tried on, you pulled back the curtain to show your mother. "This is the one, you look gorgeous sweetheart." you smiled at your mother, and turned to the mirror to admire the dress. It was black, about ankle length that hugged your body perfectly. The top dipped down enough to show a little cleavage, but still classy. You nodded towards your mother and went to get changed.

You bought a pair of black heels to compliment. opting to match, instead of drawing away from the dress.

Your mother offered to buy lunch, which you accepted kindly. Stopping in at your favorite local spot and ordering a turkey sandwich.

The car pulled into the driveway around 2:30. Opening the door to get out. Then pulling the dress out, that was wrapped in a white dress bag.

"Did you find one honey?" your father asked as you set down the keys on the table. "She did but you have to wait until tomorrow night to see it." she smiled at your father and you walked upstairs to hang the dress up.

--

"you really don't have to do this mr. miller." you typed out to him. As much as you wanted this, you didn't want him to see you like a chore.

"Joel." he corrected. "And I offered, didn't I?" he replied.

"yeah you did. joel." you smiled and typed back.

Your heart pounded as you saw the three dots on the screen, waiting for his reply.

"i'll see you at 7 tomorrow night sweetheart."

You hearted his message.

God I hope that wasn't too forward.

Unhearting his message, you went downstairs to help prep for dinner.

--

Snoozing the first few alarms, you finally got up around 1pm. "Shit." you muttered out, not meaning to sleep in so late.

Opting for a quick breakfast, lunch. You ate a greek yogurt cup topped with granola and a few strawberries.

You got in the shower around two. You decided to take an everything shower, I mean anything could happen... right?

Getting out around 3pm, you blow dried your hair. Sitting down at your vanity, you curl and roll your hair, wanting a blowout look.

That took about 30 minutes. You didn't want to go too crazy with your makeup, but still enough to compliment your dress. You went for a black and dark brown smokey eye look, with thin eyeliner and big lashes.

You got done with your makeup at 5:30. You have an hour and a half before Joel arrives.

Walking down the hallway, hair still in rollers, in a full face of makeup, tank top and sweatpants from earlier. "You look so pretty sugar." your mother compliments. She was dressed in a navy blue dress, a little looser than yours but overall gorgeous. "Thank you momma.." you smiled back at the woman, "So do you." she smiled and your father came out with a tie in hand, he never could tie one by himself. "Still can't tie it?" you teased the man as he handed the silk to your mother who quickly helped him. "What would I do without you baby?" he questioned your mother, kissing her lips. "You'd be lost." she teased back, "Damn right." he looked at her with so much love as he combed his hair. "We are leaving soon." your dad said, turning to you. "I thought it started at 7?" you questioned. he nodded, "Yes sweetheart but I have to be there early. Have to make a good impression." he replied. "Joel will be here around 6:30.. You should put your dress on." your mother muttered. "Yeah that's what I was gonna ask, I need you to zip me up." the older woman nodded.

You walked down the hallway and into your room. Unzipping the bag and pulling out the dress. You slid the dress pooling at your feet, up your body and tucking your arms into the straps. You waddled from your room to your mothers to get her help zipping you up. you thanked her and hurried back to your room to undo the rollers that have been sitting in your hair. "Perfect." you smiled, satisfied with how they turned out. Taking your shoes from the box, you slid them on. Taking a once over of yourself in the mirror. Grabbing your clutch and phone, spritzing yourself with perfume before walking down the stairs. As soon as you reached the bottom the doorbell rang.

Perfect timing.

Your manicured hand wrapped around the silver door knob and twisted, the door opening to reveal a handsome older man. "Joel." you muttered.

He was dressed in a tux, you've never seen him so put together. His beautiful eyes went wide, looking you up and down. Clearing his throat, "You look beautiful kiddo." you smiled at the man, "Thank you.. shall we?" you asked and he nodded, shutting and locking the door behind you.

He opened the passenger door to his truck. God did he have to be a gentleman too?

Tucking your legs in, he shut the door behind you, rounding the hood of the car and joining you in the bench seat.

The car ride was silent. Stolen glances every once in a while. Pulling up to the venue, you sighed to yourself. Feeling some relief of the tension in the truck.

He opened your door and helped you out, placing his hand modestly on the small of your back.

You wished he let his hand roam a little lower, just for a moment.

With your arms linked, you entered the ballroom. Beautifully decorated for the occasion. your mother was the first to come up to you. "Oh my sweet girl you look beautiful." your mother kissed your cheek and turned to joel. "You don't clean up too bad Miller." she teased the man. "Thank ya ma'am." God that southern drawl..

The dinner lasted about 2 hours, your feet killing you. Damn those heels.

Your mother and father held back a bit, soaking up the congratulations from his new role in the company.

"Are you ready to head home sweetheart? gettin' late." Joel asked, you nodded standing up from the table.

Your heels clicked against the pavement as the two of you walked back to his truck. Sliding off those cursed heels as soon as the door closed, you relaxed against the seat, taking a deep breath.

Joel buckled in and looked over to you, his restraint was tested more and more with each rise and fall of your chest, "Got a starin' problem miller." his heart dropped as you muttered out, raising your head to look over at the man starting his truck. "Don't know what youre talkin' about kid." he said under his breath, knuckles white gripping on the wheel.

As he pulled out of the parking lot you had decided to test him, "Oh but I think I do...Mr. Miller" you teased. You wanted a reaction, something, anything. "That's enough." he muttered, eyes locked onto the road. You pulled your hair to one side of your neck, leaving your collarbone and dainty necklace on display. The necklace curving right at the dip of your cleavage.

You wanted him to break. lose control. You wanted him. "See, I just don't think it's enough Miller." you pressed the matter further, voice softening with his name on your tongue, "I think there's a reason you offered to take me Joel.." you turned towards him in the bench seat.

"Just helpin' a friend sweetheart.." he almost whispered out, trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you. The bench seat gave you more room to.. explore.

Sliding your foot over to his lap, tracing up and down his thigh. You could have sworn you saw the start of an outline in his pants. "Knock it off.." he tried, not really though. He didn't want you to stop.

You continued tracing his thigh, heel of your foot dipping down to the zipper of his dress pants. His restraint snapped like a cheap rubber band. His thick fingers wrapped around your ankle, "You tryna' get us killed girl?" he questioned, His face illuminated with the red from the stoplight. Looking down at his hold on your ankle, and the bulge underneath it.

Your breath got heavy, as he looked at you with those dark brown eyes, "Joel." you squealed out, like a mouse caught by a cat. Your body tensed under his touch. "Not so bold now sweetheart.. What happened?" he questioned, toying with you.

His fingers traced your ankle, and up your calf. Stopping at the bed of your knee. "Please.." you whispered out. "Please what darlin'?" he asked. He knew what you wanted, but Joel was the kinda man who needed to hear you say it. you shyed a bit, face flushing red. "Don't make me say it joel." you begged. He just laughed.

The fucker laughed at you.

Pulling over on the side of a back road, he turned to you. "Can't give ya what y'want if you don't tell me sweetheart." he traced up your leg, higher this time. Feeling your thigh under your dress. "Y-You joel." your voice failed you, stuttering from nervousness. "Me? Well y'got me darlin'. What d'ya want me for?" he asked, teasing you again. He wasn't gonna let you off that easily.

Unbuckling your seatbelt, you scooted closer to the man. legs in his lap fully now. Hardness pressing against the bend of your knee. "Need you to touch me Miller.." you sighed out breathlessly. "There we go honey.. Wasn't that hard, was it now?" he smiled satisfied with your answer. You whimpered out frustrated. You needed him to do something.. anything. "What would yer daddy think of you all whiney for me in my truck huh?" he asked, clearly getting off on how squirmy he was making you, "Those college boys not do it for ya sweetheart?" you shook your head, "Need you Joel.." he snickers, "I know yer always needin' somethin' ain't ya?" he questioned rhetorically.

He bunched up your dress, you lifted your hips so he could get it to your waist. "Soaked for me darlin'" he laughs, pressing a thick finger to the wet patch on your underwear. You whined and bucked your hips, "Joel quit teasin'.." you begged. "Ah ah who's in charge here baby?" he asked, "You Joel.." he smiled pleased at you a wreck for him already. "Atta girl." he hooked his fingers in the elastic waistband of your underwear, sliding them down your legs and past your ankles. He reached over you, opening his glove box, throwing the pair in and shutting it back. "Don't need those, do ya sweetheart?" he asked and you were quick to shake your head.

Dirty old man.

Yet here you are absolutely soaked for said 'dirty old man'.

His thick finger traced your slit, teasing you. Your hips bucked again searching for friction. Joel was quick to correct you, using his hand on your stomach to hold you down. "Now you take what I give ya or yer gettin' nothin' t'all" he muttered out with dark eyes. You nodded.

His finger dipped past your folds and into you. "Oh god joel." you whined out, still under his hold. "Barely touched ya and yer goin' crazy.." he trailed off, "What 'm i gonna do with ya huh?" he questioned, but before you could answer he added another finger. Stretching you out deliciously. "C'mon sweetheart if you can't take this you sure as hell ain't gonna be able to take me.." he said cockily, replying to your moans.

His fingers pumped in and out, curling in, like he knew your body better than you did.

Sure as hell felt like it.

"Close Joel.." was all you could manage to get out. That band in your belly wound tighter and tighter with each thrust of his hand. "C'mon baby girl let go f'me." he said, leaning over you to kiss down your neck.

That was all it took.

Those words.

His mouth.

Your back arched off the red leather of the old pickup truck he's always driving. Chest heaving as you came down from one hell of a high.

A thin layer of sweat covered your body as you leaned your head up to look at the man between your legs. Smug as ever he locked gaze with your eyes, taking his fingers in his mouth, tasting you. His eyes rolled back as the sweet tang filled his mouth. "Taste like heaven sweetheart.." he wiped the saliva off his fingers and onto his dress pants.

You smiled up at the man, still drunk on the high you just came down from. "You think y'ready for me honey?" he asked as he unbuckled his belt, throwing it down to the floorboard. You nodded, wanting nothing more than to feel him. For real this time.

"Words baby.." he teased, "Yes! please God." you whined out, "M'name ain't God.." he joked.

Smug son of a bitch.

He pushed down his black slacks, his boxers following suit. His cock sprung out, and your eyes went wide. "You flatter me sweetheart." he chuckles, undoing his tie and discarding it to the floorboard.

"Shit." his face dropped when he realized, "I don't have a condom." he looked down at you, still catching your breath. "Don't care.. m'clean.." he shook his head, "Y'sure bout' this?" he questioned. "Can't come back from this sugar.." he tried again but you didn't care.

You wanted this. Wanted him.

"Fuck me already Miller." you managed to get out, and he just laughed. "Ain't nothin' but trouble.." he sighed out, pushing the head of his cock between your folds. You gasped out as he began to slide into you.

"F-Fuck Joel.." you cried out, slumping against the door of his truck, "You can take it baby I'm right here.. trust me." you swallowed hard at his words, burying himself into you, fully to the hilt. He gave you a minute to adjust.  "You can move.." you whimpered and he took the green light to slowly pull out almost all the way, before plunging right back in.

"S'dirty for wantin' this trouble.." he used that nickname again. Your back arched with every thrust. "Wantin' yer old man's best friend like this.." he rubbed it in more, like salt in a wound.

You did feel guilty..

But more so, of the effect his words were having on you.

His dirty words went straight to your core, winding that band tighter and tighter..

"Joel.." you whined, all this becoming too much.. you couldn't last much longer. "I know baby I know.." he teased.. picking up the pace a bit. Your eyes started to roll back in your head, and you were clenching harder and harder.. He leaned down, taking your neck in his hold and pulling you to him. Pressing his lips to yours.

He grunted through the kiss, your moans mixing in. pulling back from the kiss he picked up the pace once more, "C'mon trouble give me one more.." he asked, and you obeyed. Almost as quickly as he asked, you delivered. Back arching off the red leather again. White heat over taking your body. Thighs shaking as you came down. and Joel? he was fucking you through it. His body shuttered and you knew he couldn't last much longer.

"M'on the pill.." you muttered out, and that was all Joel needed to hear. With a few more thrusts he buried into one last time, releasing inside. Filling you up.

Sweat covered the both of you as he pulled out. The mixture of both his and your release pooling between your thighs. He reached in his floor, trying to find something to clean you up with.

Settling on his tie, he bunched the fabric and cleaned you up, throwing the soiled tie in the back seat. You tried to catch your breath, pulling your dress back down to your ankles and buckling up like nothing happened. Joel got situated and buckled, turning over the truck as you slipped your black heels back on.

You did not miss those. You thought as you picked up your phone from the floor. Heart dropping when you look at the time. 11:57pm "Shit." you muttered, dozens of missed calls from your parents you were too.. busy to hear. "Joel, I need to get home..now." you showed him your phone and he pulled out of the back road and onto the main one.

You finally got home at 12:20am..

Saying your goodbyes to Joel with a promise of this happening again. Smelling like sex, with your hair and dress a mess, you fished out your key from the small clutch you brought with you. You locked the door behind you, slipping off your shoes and taking them in one hand. Thinking you're out of the woods, you start to tiptoe up the stairs. When you are halfway to your room, the hallway light flickers on and you hear your mother, "Y/n?"

Fuck.

[lalalychee-x]

"College boy." Rodrick Heffley x male!reader

THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY GOATED request from 🌾🍞 anon!! I'M SORRY, ITS LATE!! Hope you enjoy though and feel free to give feedback!! Mwaaaaa asks always open guys, I love them!

cw: period-typical attitudes to being gay (not homophobia though), male/amab reader, older/college reader (21), kinda-rough making out, Rodrick in last year of highschool, so he's 18.

★ You are forced to come back home, stay at least a week during college break with your family. And you knew your sister had all the guys after her, but maybe leading on a guy who definitely was a joke to her was a bit much. You're just trying to help him out. You think so, anyway... click here for part 2

If you’d told Rodrick Heffley that he was gonna end up in the kitchen of a house that probably cost more than he’d make in his entire life — with another guy’s tongue in his mouth, no less — he’d have laughed in your face.

Not that he had a problem with gay people or anything. He was cool. Chill. Open-minded, in a way only someone who’d spent most of his life in a suburban basement with an eyeliner pencil and a drum kit could be. But him? Making out with some rich guy? Yeah, no way. Wasn’t gonna happen.

Except it was happening. Kinda. He just didn’t know it yet.

It all started when he got Heather’s number when he’d flirted with her outside the bowling alley, giggling behind their hands as they gave him the digits and told him to "swing by sometime." And he had. Of course he had. He was Rodrick Fucking Heffley. Girls loved him. Right?

So now here he was — standing on the porch of a massive house tucked into a dead-end road he didn’t even know existed until tonight. There was no answer when he rang the bell. No party. No Heather. Just silence, a pretty porch light, and a feeling that maybe, maybe, he was getting punk’d.

He was just about to leave — muttering under his breath about rich girls and their mean-girl cliques — when he heard that sleek convertible purr down the street.

You pulled up like you owned the whole goddamn block, engine shutting off with a smug little hum. You stepped out slow — lazy, bored — dressed in a leather jacket and black jeans that fit too well, rings on your fingers, hair still pushed back from your day, face unreadable.

Rodrick blinked.

You didn’t say anything right away. Just stood there on the sidewalk, one brow raised, keys jingling in your palm as you looked him over with the kind of stare that made his flannel and band tee feel suddenly...lame.

There was a second where you just stared at each other. He looked a bit like a washed up rat, sad, pouty and definitely trying to hide it. Then the guy let out a small scoff.

“You lost or something?”

Rodrick swallowed. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Then shrugged, trying to sound like he totally had his shit together.

“I’m here to see Heather.”

The guy’s brows lifted slightly more. It was you, and you're honestly not going to let... what seemed to be a creep, stand outside and look for your sister. “Heather’s not home.”

“Right, yeah.” Rodrick scratched the back of his neck, voice dipping into that awkward fake-confident tone he always used when he felt like he was two seconds from being told to scram. “She invited me.”

A pause.

You gave him a look — something unreadable, amused maybe, maybe not — before stepping forward and sliding your keys into your back pocket.

“You’re Rodrick, huh.”

It wasn’t a question.

Rodrick stiffened. “…Yeah?”

You sighed like this was the most exhausting development in his week, then jerked his head toward the door. “C’mon. I’m not lettin’ you stand there like a creep all night.”

“What?”

You tipped your head, deadpan. “You’re just standing there. Staring at the door. Like a creep.”

“I’m not a creep, okay?” Rodrick shot back, bristling. “I’m here to see Heather.”

You gave a sharp little laugh under your breath — cold and amused.

“Right. Heather.”

Rodrick squinted, arms up in almost defence. “Wait. Who the fuck are you?”

You looked him dead in the eyes. "Her brother."

Rodrick's mouth opened. Closed. “…No the hell you're not.”

“Yeah. I fuckin’ am, hate this damn house so I barely come back from college,” you said, stepping past him like you lived there — because, well, you did. “And yeah, Heather’s a bitch. But you? You look like a fuckin’ Craigslist serial killer standing on my porch.”

Rodrick bristled again, like he wasn’t sure whether to be offended or impressed. “Dude. I’m just—”

“I know who you are, Rodrick,” you cut in, unlocking the front door. “She told me. Didn't expect you to be real, honestly.”

You pushed the door open and stared at him for a second too long. There was something sharp in your eyes. Not hostile. Just…assessing.

He wasn’t her type. Not even close. But something about the slouch, the messy eyeliner, the smug little grin trying to mask the awkward twitch at the corner of his mouth — it kinda was your type. Not that you were gonna admit that out loud.

You stepped aside, voice dry. “Well? You comin’ in or what?”

Rodrick swallowed and stepped past you, suddenly hyperaware of how much taller (even if not literally) you felt. How nice you smelled. How warm it was inside.

“…This is the weirdest fuckin’ day of my life.”

You just shut the door behind him with a little shrug. “Get used to it.”

You didn’t say anything else — just brushed past him, your shoulder knocking lightly against his as you headed down the hallway like you owned the place. Which, yeah, you did. Rodrick barely had time to adjust to how nice the fuckin’ hallway smelled before you were already halfway to the kitchen.

He followed, awkward and out of place, eyes darting to the high ceilings, the family photos, the spotless hardwood floors. The house looked like it came out of a magazine. He felt like he tracked in dirt just by existing.

You pointed at the dining table as you walked into the kitchen. “Wait in here.”

Rodrick paused in the doorway. “What am I, a dog?”

You didn’t even turn around. “I mean, you showed up uninvited and you look like you bite 'nd have rabies.”

He opened his mouth, ready with a half-assed comeback, but you were already at the fridge, grabbing a can of something cold and cracking it open without looking his way.

Rodrick lingered for a beat before making a decision. Slowly — maybe a little stubbornly — he pushed off the doorframe and leaned against the kitchen counter instead, folding his arms across his chest, doing that thing where he stared at the floor like he wasn’t affected by anything at all.

You turned slightly, side-eyeing him with an amused little smirk.

“Didn’t I tell you to wait at the table?”

Rodrick didn’t budge. “Yeah. And I didn’t.”

Your lips twitched.

Huh.

He really was that kind of kid. All bark, too much eyeliner, and barely enough spine to hold up the act — but he was trying. You could tell from the way his jaw flexed, how he refused to look at you, as if meeting your eyes would confirm something neither of you were ready to admit.

You took a slow sip of your drink, leaning against the opposite counter, just watching him.

“This how you usually get into people’s houses?” you asked, voice lazy, teasing. “Show up lookin’ like you rolled out of a Hot Topic clearance bin and challenge the older brother to a pissing match?”

Rodrick’s ears flushed red. “Didn’t know you’d be home.”

“Yeah,” you said, nodding once. “You look disappointed.”

“I’m not.”

That smirk turned into a grin. “Sure.”

You let the silence stretch for a second, your gaze dropping to the edge of his jaw, the way he clenched his fists a little tighter when he felt you looking.

He was cocky. Slouchy. Barely legal and probably running on Monster and the fumes of delusion.

But shit — cute.

And way more fun to mess with than Heather's last boyfriend. Not that you believed he was Heather's boyfriend at all because NO WAY.

You tilted the can back and let the last of the drink slurp loudly, obnoxiously, like you were doing it on purpose. Rodrick flinched at the sound.

Then you turned, casually tossing the empty into the recycling bin like you’d done it a hundred times (you had), and cracked open the cooler on the floor beside the counter. The soft hiss of ice shifting echoed as you rummaged through it, then pulled out something in a blue-and-silver can — cold and probably cheap. Smirnoff Ice. A college classic. Trashy, sugary, everywhere.

You straightened up and glanced at Rodrick.

“You eighteen?”

Rodrick blinked. “Uh—yeah.”

“You drink?”

He froze for half a second — just half — but it was enough.

You snorted, laughing as you popped the tab on your can. “Yeah, okay. That’s a no.”

He huffed, defensive. “Didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” You crouched again, this time deeper in the cooler, your hand pushing past bottles of water and chilled energy drinks until you found a can of orange soda and stood, tossing it across the kitchen.

“Catch.”

Rodrick’s eyes widened — he caught it, barely, fumbling for a second like it might’ve hit the floor and shattered his already-fragile pride. He cleared his throat and turned the can in his hands like it offended him.

You watched him with lazy amusement, sipping your drink, leaning one hip against the counter again. “You’re lucky. If you dropped it, I would’ve kicked you out.”

Rodrick scoffed. “No, you wouldn’t’ve.”

“Try me.”

The kitchen was quiet again, save for the fizz in your drink and the hum of the fridge.

Rodrick cracked the soda open, took a slow sip, and stared at you over the rim. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes did — a flicker, a shift. He was trying to place it. The way you talked, the way you stood. How old were you?

You let the moment linger before you said it.

“Twenty-one.”

Rodrick blinked, straightening a little.

“Just turned. Last month,” you added, tapping the top of your can. “Heather threw a fit ‘cause I wouldn’t let her come to the bar, y'know? Gotta tell her to stop whoring it.”

Rodrick flinched, taking another tentative sip.

You looked at him again, head tilted slightly. “That what you were thinkin’? How old I was?”

Rodrick choked on his soda a little. “What? No.”

You grinned into your drink. “Sure.”

Rodrick lingered near the kitchen counter, pretending like he wasn’t eyeballing everything in the room. The granite countertops, the fancy-ass stove that probably cost more than his van, the wine rack built into the wall. Who the hell lived like this?

You noticed him looking.

“Don’t steal anything,” you said, lazily sipping your drink.

“I wasn’t gonna.”

“Sure. You got that feral look. That ‘I eat cigarettes for breakfast’ vibe.”

Rodrick rolled his eyes. “At least I don’t drink Smirnoff Ice. What are you, a freshman girl at her first frat party?”

You barked a laugh, full and sharp. “That’s cute coming from the guy holding a Fanta like it’s a beer. You want a paper straw too, princess?”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“Only when my mouth’s full.”

Rodrick froze for a second. Your grin widened. He looked like a raccoon caught chewing drywall.

You leaned back against the counter again, arms crossed, casually sipping your drink like that hadn’t just slipped out on purpose. The tension in the room shifted — still playful, but tight, electric.

Rodrick huffed and looked away, muttering, “God, Heather’s whole family’s insane.”

You cocked a brow. “And yet you showed up.”

“Yeah, well—” He paused. “Thought she gave me her number.”

You smiled, slow and dangerous, and started walking toward him — not threatening, but steady. You placed your drink down on the counter and kept moving, until Rodrick backed up just slightly, hips bumping into the edge.

“You really believe she gave you her number?” you asked, both hands coming up to rest on either side of him, boxing him in. Not touching — yet. But close. Close enough to watch him squirm.

Rodrick faltered. His voice dropped a little. “...Well. I mean. Not anymore.”

You laughed again, warm and low. “Poor thing. Got punked by a couple of high school girls.”

He rolled his eyes and looked off to the side, trying not to look at you. “Whatever.”

You tilted your head, eyes flicking over him. “So what? You into her? That your type? Bitchy blondes who call you names and pretend you don’t exist in public?”

Rodrick scowled, brows furrowed and squinting. “Says the guy who is related to her.”

“Touché.”

There was a pause. Then—

“If it doesn’t work out with her,” you paused, “you could always get with me instead.”

Rodrick choked on nothing.

“I—What?! Dude, I’m not— I’m not gay.”

Your eyes glittered. “Didn’t say you were.”

He floundered. “I mean—not that there’s anything wrong with—whatever—but I’m not—”

“Relax, man.” You chuckled, real low and easy, tilting your head a little closer. “No one’s asking you to get on your knees.”

He swallowed. You could see the flush creeping up his neck, fighting the smirk he was trying not to let show.

You leaned in just a little more.

“...Unless you want to.”

Rodrick made a quiet noise in his throat — something between a scoff and a nervous cough — and set the Fanta can down behind him on the counter. Not because he was finished, but because he needed an excuse to look anywhere but at you. The fizz hissed faintly as it settled.

He scratched the back of his neck. “You’re messing with me.”

You smiled, real slow. “Am I?”

“You gotta be,” he muttered, eyes on the countertop now like it held all the secrets of the universe. “I mean. That’s what this is, right? You’re just fuckin’ with me.”

“Rodrick.”

You said his name like a joke and a promise in one breath. The way it dropped from your mouth made his stomach flip in a way he didn’t like. Or maybe he did. He wasn’t sure.

He looked up at you finally, jaw tense. “I’m not… like that.”

You shrugged. “Sure.”

“No, I mean— I’ve never—” He faltered. His hand made a vague gesture between the two of you. “This isn’t my thing.”

“But you’re still here.”

Rodrick’s mouth opened. Then closed. Like a fish. An angry fish. A flustered, horribly aware he might be into something fish.

You tilted your head, stepping in just a bit closer — still not touching, but you didn’t need to. The tension was thick enough to sink in.

“I’m just saying,” you murmured, voice low and amused, “if it doesn’t work out with Heather… you’ve got options.”

Rodrick cleared his throat. “Yeah, uh—well. I—I’m not…”

He trailed off. You waited. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, eyes flicking briefly to your mouth before he immediately looked back down at the floor like it burned him.

Then, quietly — barely audible:

“…Have you ever kissed a guy?”

You blinked. “Me?”

He nodded, sheepish. Still not looking at you. “Yeah.”

You raised a brow. “A couple times. Why?”

Rodrick didn’t answer. But he was chewing the inside of his cheek now, face pink, breath shallow. Hands shoved in his pockets like they might anchor him.

You stepped in just a fraction closer.

“…Wanna know what it’s like?”

If you’d told Rodrick Heffley that he’d lose his footing on his sexuality in the middle of a rich guy’s kitchen, with the house dead quiet and a guy’s mouth hot on his, he would’ve thrown a drink in your face.

Not because he was homophobic or anything — Jesus, no. He was punk, not a dick. It was just… him? Doing this? Never crossed his mind. Not until now. Not until you.

You were Heather’s brother. College-aged. Intimidatingly hot. Driving some sleek-ass convertible like you owned the damn moon. And now here you were, pushing him back against a cold marble counter, lips crashing into his like he was a fucking challenge.

And he liked it.

Rodrick grunted as his lower back smacked the edge of the counter, the sudden jolt making him gasp into your mouth. One of your hands slid down, rubbing over the spot gently in a rare flicker of comfort before it curled around his hip, pulling him back in.

It was messy.

Your mouth tasted like cheap spiked lemonade and something bitter. Beer, maybe. He’d never had alcohol before — not like this. Definitely not off the mouth of some guy he just met. It was a little weird. A little electric.

His hands fumbled awkwardly at first, catching the hem of your shirt, one sliding around your shoulder as if trying to find something solid to hold onto. Because he was TOO aware he looked like an idiot right now.

Your fingers found the edge of his studded belt, tugged him closer with a harsh yank that made him groan. His hips twitched. His whole body felt like it was catching fire.

He was… hard.

Embarrassingly so.

Rodrick stiffened, trying not to grind into you, but failing when your hand slipped lower to press at his back — guiding him in.

He gasped again. “Shit—fuck, uh, I didn't—”

“Relax,” you groaned actually annoyed with yourself when you should be feeling triumphant, as you kissed down to his neck, your own breath starting to hitch. “You’re not the only one.”

Rodrick's eyes widened slightly as he felt your crotch against his hip.

Oh.

Oh.

Well… shit.

You two stared at eachother a bit more until you slid your hands under his stupid band tee, both hands on his hips. You're surprised—you thought he would be a bit scrawnier. Not that he was built by any means,

Your mouth was back on his again — teeth catching his bottom lip this time, dragging until he hissed. Rodrick’s fingers clenched in your shirt, dragging you impossibly closer, hips twitching without meaning to.

“F-fuck,” he muttered against your mouth, shaky and stunned. “What the hell is this—what are we—”

You didn’t answer. Just kissed him again. Rougher. Meaner. Like you were trying to make up for every second wasted being normal around him.

“Look, do you want to do this or not?” Your hands were braced on his hips, and his belt buckle was digging into your palm. It was all metal and heat and confusion and want.

Rodrick's mouth opened, in nothing but a shakey breath.

Then— BANG BANG BANG.

A shrill, angry voice cut through the house: “HELLOOO? OPEN THE DOOR?? I FORGOT MY KEYS, WHERE'S MOM—”

You pulled back with a sigh, forehead dropping to Rodrick’s shoulder. His chest was rising and falling way too fast for how little space was between you.

He was flushed. Breathing hard. Lip red from biting. His hair was sticking up like he’d just been electrocuted and he looked fucking wrecked.

You grinned.

“Sounds like your little crush is home.”

Rodrick blinked at you, still half-dazed, lips parted. “Jesus Christ…”

You pushed off the counter slowly, casually fixing the hem of your shirt as if your dick wasn’t half-hard in your jeans and you hadn’t just kissed the guy your sister was supposed to be prank-dating.

“You comin’?” you asked, already walking down the hall.

Rodrick huffed, slamming back the last of the soda he’d left on the counter before following, muttering under his breath, “I fuckin’ hate rich people.”

And that was ironic because he was pretty well-off himself.

The door swung open and Heather practically exploded into the entryway, voice already halfway to a screech.

“Ugh, finally! I thought I was gonna get murdered out there, do you know how sketchy the suburbs are at—” She cut off mid-sentence, blinking hard. “Wait. Was that—was that fucking Heffley??”

You leaned against the doorframe, still slightly flushed, your knuckles brushing the curve of your bottom lip like you were trying to wipe away a smirk. Your eyes followed Rodrick’s retreating figure down the driveway, watching him fumble to get into his van like his legs forgot how to work.

You didn’t answer your sister. Just called out toward the driveway, voice syrup-smooth,

“Come back some time!”

Rodrick paused, mouthing what seemed suspiciously like 'fuck you' and then yanked the door shut behind him harder than necessary.

He was mumbling prayers and he barely even listened in church. I mean, he wasn't praying because he thought he had sinned or something — he was pretty sure Jesus would be fine with gay people.

No, he was praying because he was sure he just met the devil reincarnated.

Heather turned toward you slowly, eyebrows climbing toward her hairline. “Seriously. Seriously? What the hell was that?!”

You shrugged like it was nothing. Like you didn’t still taste him on your tongue.

“Dunno. Might stay back for the rest of the holiday.”

Heather blinked. “You’re deranged.”

You just grinned wider.

click here for part 2

♡ Please do not modify, steal, plagarise or post on other platforms without asking. Thank you!

divider creds: @cursed-carmine

[neptunesbeloved]

Yellow Carnation

wc: 2,384

Synopsis: How lovely, he planned a surprise just to cheer you up

tw: she pronouns / female reader / married couple / random!malecharacter x reader

Author's note: Honestly not writing for a specific character is kinda pissing me off, I can't be specific in my descriptions.

Material list

This needs to stop, it has happened for so long. He noticed how her eyes deliberately avoided his. He whitenessed her voice quieting down as the days passed by. But about all, seeing her warm smile fading with time was hurting him the most. He felt powerless in the moment, he didn't know what was happening.

They got married a few years ago, moved in a beautiful house nearby the sea and regularly went on vacation. He showered her with all of his love, dripping her with the finest silks and shiniest gemstones. He also planed the most original and romantic dates for her. Everything he did was for her. He wanted to give her the whole universe.

This afternoon, she texted him that she will be getting home later than usual to go on a walk by herself. She did not gave him any more indications but he knew it was because she was feeling down lately. At the announce, he hurried to plan a surprise romantic night at home to cheer her up. He called their chef in a hurry and politely asked her to cook homemade italian meal for tonight since she loved Italian cuisine. While the chef was cooking their dinner he rushed to her favorite florist and bought a beautiful bouquet of luscious ranunculus.

Once he finally got home he carefully set the table not forgetting to lay the tip of the newly bought bouquet of flowers in a glass filled with water to prevent the beautiful petals from tarnishing. Because she would be home in an hour or less he decided to prepare the bedroom for the upcoming massage he would give her. He covered the bed with a soft towels as he lit up the vanilla scented candles positioned in the corners of the room.

He truly wished what he had planned for her will make her feel better. In addition to this lovely night coming ahead he aimed at making her open up about her hidden struggles. He knew she was the type of person to keep everything inside, he wanted to create a safe environment for her to hopefully share her struggles with him.

It was 7:15pm when she got home, her face had a peaceful yet slightly sad expression. While slowly inhaling the comforting smell of her home, she closed her eyes before removing her bag and shoes.

–“I'm home.” She gently said, her voice resonating through the hallway.

At the sound of her voice, the gentleman grabbed the bouquet of Ranunculus and left their bedroom to head towards the hallway.

–“Good evening, how are you doing?” He gently asked, hiding the bouquet behind him.

–“I'm all right, thanks.” She answered while tenderly looking at him. “What are you hiding behind your back ?”

–“I have something planned for you this evening and this" He pulled out the flowers. "is the first thing on the list.”

Her eyes brightened as her lips former a smile of happiness. Her dainty fingers wrapped around the thoughtful present.

–“I love ranunculus, thank you so much.”

He tenderly grabbed her free hand before placing a loving kiss on her knuckles. He positioned himself behind her and placed his hands on her eyes.

–“You are now going to discover they next surprise. Do you have any idea of what it might be ?” He mischievously teased. He knew she loved enigmas so it was a great way to introduce the dinner. With a confident gesture, he guided her to their destination.

–“Because you are covering my eyes, I think that the next surprise is bigger than a flower bouquet and that you cannot move it around.” She guessed, leaving him speechless. "With the lack response from you, I think I am right. Maybe it is something that is set somewhere in the house like a themed decoration or a new furniture... We both already love the arrangements of the house so I don't think it is a new piece of furniture.” She add, still thinking about what it might be.

–“Almost there...” He gently chuckled before placing a little kiss on her head.

Her smile grew even bigger.

–“Thanks, I know. Anyways let's continue...” she took another moment to think. “Because we haven't eaten yet, you might have decorated the dinning room and thanks to the ranunculus I can confidently say that you've set up a romantic dinner. I think you decorated the dinning room with romantic arrangements!” She confidently declared.

He was in awe—In addition of being drop dead gorgeous she was also really smart.

–“What a brilliant mind you have, I am definitely lucky to be your husband!” He said, his words resonating through her.

–“Don't say this, I'm more than honored to have you . We are both lucky to have each other.”

–“My feelings doesn't take away from yours. Infact, I am just appreciating you darling.” He added as his hands left her closed lids before sliding down her arms to intertwined their fingers. "Let's get in, shall we?”

His thumb gently brushed her fingers, providing her with love but also comfort. He wanted to sooth her, to reassure her. Though he was a hurt by the secret she kept, he still wanted to make her happy.

–“Are you ready?” He said as an excited smiled formed on his lips before opening the door.

The dim lighting casted a yellow glow in the room as the candles laid on the table created a cozy feeling. A beautiful vase filled with water was set on the side of the round table besides a fancy bottle of water.

He gently took her bouquet off of her hands before removing its paper wrap.

–“Let's put those beauties in the vase, we don't want them to wilt.” He said as he delicately placed the flowers in the water.

Her hands reach for the chair in front of her but he politely stopped her.

–“It has been five years since we first got together and yet you still don't understand that I want to do those cliché it for you..." He gently chuckled as he pulled out the chair for her. “The chef will serve us the food in a few minutes. I can't wait to see your reaction.”

–“Since this is a surprise I won't try to guess what we are going to eat.” She chuckled.

After a few minutes spent talking about the latest news, the chef finally arrived with two delicious plates of homemade fresh lasagnas. She disposed the two plates in front of the couple before leaving the room.

–“I haven't eaten Italian food in a while.” She said while admiring the dish in front of her.

The chef regained the kitchen and left the two spouses alone. She reached for the fork in front of her to taste the meal. As she withdrew the cold silver fork from her mouth the ingredients laid on her sensitive tongue, their taste slowly diffusing through her mouth. She closed her eyes in delight as a whimper of delight escaped from her.

A gentle smile formed on his lips. He truly loved to see her appreciate the meal. His hand brushed for the stray strend of hair in front of her face. He then grabbed his fork to appreciate the dinner too, savouring his lasagnas.

–“Tell me, how was your day?” he asked as he poured her glass with water. Her flickering eyes didn't went unnoticed by him but he didn't pushed it any further.

–“It was refreshing... After work I went for a walk in a park nearby my workplace.” She puts her fork down to talk. "There was even yellow carnations. I've never saw yellow carnations this close and their smell was so delicate... Very lovely.” She picks up her fork. “How about yours?”

–“I woke up earlier today to work on a new thesis. The lab I'm collaborating with funds my researches and they let me borrow their high end tools.” He explained, looking in her eyes. “After you texted me that you were coming home later, I rushed to plan this surprise.”

–“Such a loving partner...” She chuckled. “Very thoughtful of you, thank you again.”

They talked about everything and anything, enjoying the homemade Italian meals as they exchange laughter, loving stares and warming smiles. The love between them couldn't just be felt—it could be seen and heard. They way they talked with so much respect to one another could melt the heart of the coldest person. His hand frequently resting on top of hers paired with her dainty foot lovingly caressing his legs spoke volume about the depth of their bound. Everything felt thoughtful yet natural between them.

–“Enjoyed this dinner?” He asked with a mischievous smile on his face.

–“I sure did ! I love Italian food, it's my favorite with indian food too.” She said before taking a sip of water.

–“I did too...” His flickered to his watch. “I think it is time for the third and last surprise.” He got up and handed her his hand. “Allow me to guide you.” As her hand took its place in his, he guided her from the dinning room to the door of their bedroom.

–“Can you guess what will happen next?“ He said with his low voice.

She raised her eyebrow, looking in emptiness as she gathered her thoughts.

–“Like for the dinner, the bedroom might be decorated... While we were eating you didn't make any allusion about intimacy and the ambiance wasn't steamy between us... It was more romantic.” She said as her eyes flickered between the doors and him. “But because the next surprise is in the bedroom it still includes some kind of physical proximity between us. You are the kind of person to primary show your love through actions too...” She took a significant pause. “I think I got it! Are you planning some kind of massage?” She said, her face taking a malicious expression.

A little laughter came out of his mouth as he affectionately looked at her.

–“Your sharp mind never disappoints, darling. You never fail to impress me, I am enamored with you.” He said before placing a loving kiss on her forehead. “Let's get in, shall we?” His hand latched onto the door handle.

The door opened, unleashing a delicate fragrance of vanilla as the candlelights animated the bedroom with life. She entered the room followed by her loyal husband before standing in front of the large bed.

She looked at the soft pillows, her lips slowly opened as if she tried to say something before suddenly closing. He looked at her with a confuse expression.

–“What's wrong, sweetie?” He murmured, taking her delicate hand in his.

–“...” She hesitated. “Nothing...” she answered, barely above a whisper.

He gulped down as a sharp feeling in his heart struck him. His jaw and eyebrows tensed while his tongue brushed across his lips. As her gentle eyes laid on his face he relaxed a bit.

–“Anything wrong?” She asked, her silky voice soothed his fragile heart.

–“It's fine... I'm alright.” He said as a sly feeling of guilt took over him.

–“Since you are offering me a massage I guess I should remove my dress. Can you unzip it for me please?“

He executed her orders, carefully unzipping her dress as his fingers lingered on the soft skin of her back. Her black dress fell all the way down to her ankles. She slowly laid down on her stomach before gently closing her eyes. The sight of her, so vulnerable yet unaccessible made his heart flutter. He took a deep breath before grabbing the bottle of almond oil.

–“You once told me that you loved the smell of almond oil so I decided to use it as an oil massage...” He said as he poured a good amount on the valley of her back.

With his bare warm hands he lather the oil from her shoulders to the small of her back in a linear motion. Gliding his palms on the bare surface before firmly yet gently gripping her tight shoulders before carefully massaging them.

–“You are really tense up here. Relax, I've got you...“ He said as he liberated the tension nestled in her shoulders.

–“Keep going please...“ She satisfactly whined before humming the sweet perfum of the vanilla scented candles.

While his hands went from her shoulders to the middle of his back she slowly opened here eyes, looking at the wall in front of her. She felt like the burden she was carrying within herself was consuming her from the inside out. It needed to be shared. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again.

–“It feels so good... You hands work wonders on my back...” She muttered.

He faintly chuckled before pressing an affectionate kiss on the back to her neck

–“Its good to know. I like to make you feel good.” He whispered as his warm breath caressed the back of her neck.

–“You are such an angel, I'm so grateful to have you in my life.”

With his skilled hands, he applied more pressure on a tight knot nestled on her left shoulder blade.

–“Is your work stressing you out like that?” He asked, slightly worried for her. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Her heart tightened as small tears formed in her eyes. She gently shut her lids before biting her lips. She knew she shouldn't keep secrets like this one for herself. She took a deep breath before talking.

–“No, it's not...” He noticed the sudden change in her demeanor.

–“Would you like to tell me what it is?” His hands massaged her back more delicatly as he could feel the slight feeling of fear rushing throw his body.

–“I don't know how to bring this up...” She said before hiding her face from him.

He placed a tender kiss on her head before caressing the slop of her arm.

–“I'm here for you... Don't worry, I will always stick by your side.”

She bit her lips as she restrained her tears from flooding the white cotton sheets.

–“Well... Last week I went on my yearly medical check up. I talked about my health and my lifestyle habits with me doctor and I told her that during this past month I've felt very fatigued. So we did a blood test...” She took a pause as she felt a tear streaming down her eye.

He started to caressed her head in a soothing manner.

–“It's okay, take your time...“ He calmly whispered despite his worry growing more intense.

–“While waiting for the results she talked more in details about the blood test. It was suppose to measure my hormon level because she suspected that I just had a hormonal imbalance. I didn't thought much of it and... When she came back with the results... She told me that I was pregnant...”

His heart skipped a beat.

–“I am pregnant...” She said as she crumble in tears.

He stopped caressing her head for a few seconds before firmly embracing her. Neither of them knew what to do. He then proceeded to gently rub her back as he closed his eyes.

–“No matter what you decide, I will support you... We are in this together.“

–“I don't know if I want this baby...“ She mumbled as she wiped her tears.

–“That's fine, love...” He continued his gentle caresses as his vibrating voice soothed her. “Do you know of how many weeks you are pregnant?“

–“Right now... I am six weeks pregnant.” She said before crying again. “I have to hurry up to decide what I want to do...”

His hands instinctively caressed her hair.

–“You don't have to decide right now we still have a month... I just want you to know that we are in this together, you are not alone. No matter what you do, I promise and swear to accept and support decisions. It is your body, so nobody else should decide what is best for you, not even me. You are strong, clever but most importantly you are loved.”

[trikruismybitch]

Never meant...

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader, Implied Natasha Romanoff x Maria Hill

Warnings: kinda cheating, communication? Sad just very sad lots of angst no happy endings

Summary: Natasha's been distant and you just want to know if she's okay

"Whats been going on with you?" Y/n questions softly "You've been acting distant and weird lately, is everything okay my love?" you say as you walk up to Nat touching her arm lovingly

"Yeah baby i'm fine" she gives you a smile but it strained and her tone is dismissive

You internally sigh not wanting to cause any problems but the growing distance between you guys lately has been bothering you

"I know you're not fine Nat" you look into her eyes "I can feel that you aren't 'fine' and honestly lately i've been feeling like we aren't 'fine'." You stop rubbing her arm with your thumb but you stay close still "I don't want this to be a fight but i can tell somethings genuinely wrong and i need you to talk to me about it. I'm here for you, okay baby? Whatever's going on we'll get through this together." You speak in a gentle and understanding tone. You love her so fucking much and it kills you that she's not communicating with you.

Natasha looks at you and you stare back. You start to get a nervous pit in your stomach at the way she's staring at you. Usually theres a softness to the look in her eyes but right now it feels like she's looking right past you and it's unsettling.

"Maria kissed me a month ago," Natasha says. Theres a pause before she admits, "and i liked it. I wanted her."

You take a step back as if you were physically pushed "What?" Your mind starts racing and your hearts starts beating rapidly "What are you trying to say?"

Natasha shakes her head "I pushed her away after a second, i swear! I've felt so guilty about it since it happened...and It took me awhile to admit to myself that I'm attracted to her."

Natasha's eyes pour deeply into your soul. Her unwavering gaze is met by yours, eyes slowly blinking, praying, hoping that this is a cruel dream. Your skin itches, your body feels hot.

"I-i don't know what to say..." You whisper out taking a few steps back leaning on the kitchen counter hands resting behind you "I don't know how to feel right now. I'm confused, do you have feelings for her?"

"No! I don't! I love you." Natasha waves her hands in front of herself "I just think...feel sexually attracted to her? She's funny and she makes me laugh, she's like a breath of fresh air, you know?"

You just stare at her not believing she had the balls to say that to your face, "I need to go." you mumble and start looking around for your keys. Fuck you really wish you were more organized and now its biting you in the ass.

"Y/n, baby" Natasha keeps calling out as you rummage through all the places you might've put your keys. You look at the key hook and zero in on Natasha's car keys. Natasha follows your gaze and rushes to grab the keys before you get there, "Y/n wait! What are you doing? Where are you trying to go?"

You snap "I don't know Natasha!" You yell throwing your hands up and looking around. Your eyes start to burn wanting to cry "I just know that I don't want to be around you right now. I need time to process what you've said and then we can talk okay? So please just hand me the damn keys!" you cry out frustratingly. You hold your hand out for the keys, waiting.

"I want to talk now." Natasha furrows her brows "I came to you wanting to talk this through-"

"You didn't come to me!" You point to your chest "I had to push it out of you Nat! I always do!" You wave your hands around wildly, "Whenever you're upset or somethings bothering you, you become distant and unresponsive to my attempts to engage with you. Then when i ask if you're okay- and big surprise-you lie! I had to push this out of you Natasha!" You shake your head angrily, "So do not say that 'you want to talk this through'" you use air quotes when you say that, "because you NEVER DO! I do! I'm patient and understanding with you...and all you do is lie to me in return!" You sigh out tiredly "So, please respect my wishes and let me leave." You outstretch your arm for the keys

"No, I'm sorry okay" Nat tries to take a step toward you but you shake your head as you drop your hand "I-i've been feeling so guilty about this, thats why i've been distant. I didn't want to admit...I wasn't fully upset about the kiss. And I was so angry at myself for liking it and even if i didn't kiss her back I felt like I betrayed you. I just want to fix this." She's on the verge of tears clutching the keys tightly in her hand. She doesn't want to lose you.

You shake your head, again, and rub your eyes with your hands, "I don't understand how you expect me to fix something, I didn't even know was broken in the first place Natasha" You swallow as you take a deep breathe "You're basically saying you want to fuck someone else because your tired of our relationship, how am I supposed to feel about that? Huh? All this shit is thrown at me, I know we weren't 100% but I thought we were happy, that you were happy with us."

"I love you so fucking much. I love our life together and I would never" she enunciates 'never', "throw it away to sleep with someone else" she speaks vehemently before softening her tone "I'm telling you because I know I need to be honest with you about this. You think I want to feel this way about someone else? You mean the world to me Y/n and I don't want anything to jeopardize that."

You close your eyes. Despite everything she said and how much it hurt you, a part of you understands where she's coming from, and even with everything your heart still burns for her.

You open your eyes and you try to smile but it comes out strained "I know. I love you too...but I can't promise you that what you said isn't going to affect our relationship. I appreciate the transparency but I need time Nat...please give me the keys." You ask politely

Natasha's lip quivers as she slowly gives you the keys "Where will you go?" She questions

"I don't know right now, I'll let you know later." You go to walk past her but she softly grabs your arm when you've become parallel with her.

She gives your cheek a soft kiss, "I love you." she presses her forehead against your right cheek, breathing you in before you leave. You feel her tears fall and your heart pangs sadly in your chest at the women you love, so you briefly lean against her "I love you too" you gently pry your hand from her grasp and then you leave.

Natasha watches you go. She watched as the door is slowly shut. She hears as the roar of her cars engine takes whats left of her heart. She never meant for this to happen. She never meant to hurt you. And she never meant for you to leave.

an: not proofread & this has been in the drafts for awhile. a little something to read while you wait for "Did i cross the line" part 3 👀

[a-library-of-old]

I can't sleep and no other reqs are in so Lux hcs with a insomniac reader time boiz!!!

-I'm not sure he even realized you need sleep at first tbh- I mean gods don't and he isn't all that familiar with human habits so at first he's seeing no issues with this

-Once you start showing frustration over it and want to sleep he realizes though and feels bad for you cause I don't think he can help much

-This will lead to a library trip or two so he can study up on ways he can help you sleep cause we know his ass isn't using the internet!

-Honestly that could be a night if yall have the patience, teaching him how to use the internet and watching him explore it and ask questions

-He explains its different using the internet then it is being IN the electronic

-Now in all seriousness once he knows things that can help he'll be imploying so many methods just to see what helps

-I'm talking diming the lights, making sure you're in comfy pj's, relaxing activities, TEA

-He will so cuddle up with you and sing or hum while playing with your hair to try and help

-Lux will fake sleep to just to see if it helps

-Honestly there will be a lot of late nights watching old old cartoons with yall cozied up together

-He'll use this as a excuse to stargaze wth you too and tell you cool facts about the stars and galaxy

-Sometimes he'll end up asleep when fake sleeping with you and then you're just stuck cause he's a total cuddle bug and much stronger then he looks....it won't help you fall asleep either because he does the most over dramatic snores like- HONK mimimi cartoon ones

-I DIDNT MENTION THE PJS!

-He'll make cartoons for himself that are just the scrooge fit with the lil hat and everything

-When you finally fall asleep though? He's making sure nothing and I mean NOTHING wakes you up

-That said if you're someone that struggles staying asleep kinda insomnia he'll try to lul you back to sleep everytime you wake up

-And I'm sorry insomniacs that struggle to get up because he'll force you up😞 like- shoving you up and all energetic

-He's just such a morning person it's repulsive....as a non morning person

-Don't give him coffee no matter how much he begs and uses puppy dog eyes and his lil sound track plays sad music

[taylormarieee]

Dollar bills and love Billionaire!Miguel O'Hara

🎶I'ma take her bougie ass to Rodeo and then let her pick up whatever she want. CC, Gucci, hit Bottega, whatever she want She piss me off, somehow she still get whatever she want🎶

Summary: You were bratty all day, no matter what Miguel tried to do, take you shopping, buy you food, he even bought you puppies, you were still bratty so he decided maybe fucking it out of you would do the trick.

Pairing: Husband!Billionaire!Miguel x Fem!Entrepreneur!reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Dom!Miguel, sub!reader, annoyed Miguel, bratty reader, PiV sex, oral(f), rough sex, mentions of arguing, Miguel being considerate, Miguel being slightly mean, degrading kink, praise kink, pussy whipped Miggy, mentions of height difference (reader is 5'7 Miguel is a 6'9 kingggg!), established relationship(there married), kinda angst/sadness, animal awareness(please be kind to animals, there so precious and adorable, especially puppies.)

A/N: I'm in the writing mood lol, ENJOY!

Miguel was the best husband you honestly could ever ask for. He was kind and so loving and caring. He was the opposite of what you thought about him when you first saw him.

You own your own business called Size Flows. It's a business for making clothes for plus sized people. Many plus sized people don't get to have clothes like that.

They have to fit in clothes that don't define their curves and beauty properly because the clothes are made for skinnier people. So one day when you decided to throw a party for the celebration of your business being a success you didn't expect much.

Yes, you did send flyers out but you didn't think they were going to reach the higher-higher staff and people in the world. So when famous billionaires and Multi-billionaires and millionaires started showing up into your building, you were shocked,

One of those billionaires happened to be, Lord and Behold, Miguel O'Hara. You were intimidated by him for quite some time at the party. He was tall! That was a fact. He also looked annoyed and mean.

Not really engaging in a lot of conversation like the others did. I mean yeah, the party was at night but it wasn't that late and the party didn't go on for too long so people didn't start getting bored of each other in there.

Eventually you decided to make conversation with him because why not (though you did notice most people cowered and scurried away from him when walking by). So when you arrived at his feet it took about 3 looks to finally meet his eyesight.

He was staring down at you with a tight lipped smile and you looked at him with a wide, happy, inviting one. Your signature smile at most, as that's what your assistant Alexandria says.

"Hello! You must be Miguel! I've heard a lot about you and your work and I must say, I'm intrigued to know just a little at how your mind works.

Miguel had a completely different company from yours, obviously. Yours was about clothes, he built his own museum. It was about like history and about Aerodynamics. The museum was impressive and it was large. I'm talking like, really LARGE!

You honestly couldn't help yourself. You visited the museum about 13 times. A couple with your friends who were into that stuff and like twice with your family and other times with your co-workers who wanted to go on their lunch break. You introduced yourself by saying your name or at least trying to before he cut you off.

"I'm very pleased to meet you Miguel, my name is-" you start off.

"I know who you are hermosa. I've seen your face on the cameras at my museum every time you go." He says.

Your eyes widen. You were so shocked by the cameras bit you didn't even register the intimate name he gave you. 'He's in charge of the cameras. And he's seen me over and over again!?' you thought in shock.

"Your honestly probably one of my most frequent visitors besides a bunch of college boys." he says with a polite smile on his face that makes you feel the need to laugh. He chuckles and laughs with you.

"wow, so you're frequent with the cameras huh?" you ask in a playful tone. He chuckles as he takes a sip of his whiskey.

"Yea, if you say so. I like to make sure my museum is safe and the guests are happy." he responds with a seriousness in his tone.

"Well, I mean coming from number one guest, I must say... I'm extremely happy every time I see the front of the building. Just so eager to go inside."

He laughs again and for the first time, you see a twinkle in his eyes. You guys talk for the rest of the night to the point you're the only two left in the building.

He kindly walks you to your car, which you were forever grateful for and that night ended and more frequent ones with him in it began until you two finally got married.

You were more happy in your life now than you have ever been before. You have the hottest man in the world to wake up to every morning and to say goodnight to every night.

That was three years ago and now, your here dragging Miguel everywhere, looking and searching for stuff you don't need.

Miguel was pissed at you because you were being a bit bratty today. You weren't satisfied and you constantly gave him attitude and sass. He was slowly loosing his patience and his temper the more and more bratty you got.

It got to the point he yelled at you and told you to get in the car both of you arguing for a good 20 minutes on why you were being so bratty and why he was being so annoying and grumpy.

He took you to a pet store. He bought you a tiny little bedazzled blue collar and then told you, "Pick." he said just standing in front of the dog pen with a bunch of puppies running around your legs.

"w-what?" you ask quietly, some forms of your attitude gone. "Pick. One." he says sternly with his jaw clenched. You feel slight fear but get filled with excitement when you see the two puppies you've been wanting forever!

A Corgi and a Yorkshire terrier! They were the cutest puppies to you, well that's a lie, you wanted every puppy in this store but it's not that Miguel wouldn't buy them all, it's the responsibility and care you have to have for them.

The hours you work make it difficult to buy every single one. "Miggy," you start, batting your eyelashes at him, "Can I get them all?" you ask.

There were like 15 dogs in here and you wanted every single one. "mami, no. You can get 2." he negotiates. You pout and your bratty attitude comes back.

"no! I want them all! If not then how about like 8?" you argue the amount with him. He rolls his eyes, once filled with sincerity and love now filled with anger and annoyance.

He usually wasn't annoyed with you when you got like this sometimes but he had a really bad day a work and you arguing with him didn't make it any better.

"No, two. No more negotiating mama." he says as calmly as he can because the last thing he wanted was you flinching and crying at his temper and how scary he got.

He did that once and the last time he did it, you didn't utter a proper word to him face to face for a month. He made you so scared and for a second when he raised his hand you flinched.

You genuinely thought he was going to hit you. He immediately stopped raising his voice at you after that. You allow it sometimes when you're arguing but you don't raise your voice at him that much because you know his temper and his patience.

"ok, how about 4? is that ok??!" you ask with those puppy dog eyes and that cute little pout he loves to see in different circumstances if you know what I mean.

"ok mama, and that's it." You get 4 collars for their genders one pink, one red, one green, and one violet. You got a Dachshund, a Yorkshire terrier, and a French bulldog and a Shih Tzu.

-The Dachshund was a boy and you named him lucky. (he got the red collar.)

-The Shih Tzu was a girl and you named her princess. (she obvi got the pink collar)

-The French bulldog was also a girl and you named her cleo. (she got the purple collar)

-The Yorkshire terrier was the last you chose and he was a boy and you named him stripe. (the name is because he was black and had a brown stripe on his face and he obvi got the green collar)

"That'll be $1,375 sir. And would you like to donate to charity for dogs in need?" she asks with a smile on her face.

"Ok, and yes I would like to donate!" Miguel responds with a smile on his face matching hers.

"Oooo! No Miguel! Can I do it instead? Oh, please hermoso, lemme do it!" you beg you wanted to be part of that cause.

"Ok hermosa, go ahead but lemme pay for the doggy bowls and the food and all the beds and everything else ok?"

"Miguel that means i'll have to buy something! Leave the doggy bowls out, I'll buy them because you'll have to press decline." You explain to him.

"No, I'll pay some to charity and then you pay some." He says smiling glad that your attitude is over.

"If you both don't mind me asking, how much are you donating? I run the charity and I'm just curious." The lady who you now know her name to be Sam, asks.

"Oh I'm paying 500,000 dollars." Miguel says nonchalantly like it's nothing. Her mouth drops.

"And i'm paying 600,000." I add with a smile on my face. Miguel dips his head back down at me and narrows his eyes like it's a competetion.

"Never mind 700,000." he says eyeing me up and down.

"800,000"

"900,000"

"1,000,000" I say finally winning.

"I'll pay 900,00 Sam." Miguel says smiling at her. The lady is crying now and you rush over to hug her.

"Oh poor thing. I have just as much love for dogs as you do. My dog died a couple weeks ago and i've been dying for a new one. That's why we're here so i'm glad we were able to help." You reassure her hugging her.

She mutters a sorry for your loss as she's fighting back tears and you smile feeling tears run down you face as well. Animals were such a big part of life and they brought so many people happiness.

To see the way so many people mistreat animals really crushes your heart. You both pay and walk away with happy smiles and 4 happy puppies with a new home.

You wave to the other employees as they finally realize who you and Miguel were. They asked for pictures and hugs. You gave that to them and then bid them a farewell.

"Thank you Miguel, I really needed this." You say with more tears in your eyes. His face softens and he hugs you and kisses your head. "It's ok baby. I have one more surprise for you at home." He says with a smirk on his face.

You decided to be a tease. The entire car ride you acted bratty and all mad because he wouldn't let you get all the puppies.

You knew exactly what the surprise was so that's why you acted like this. The surprise was sex, you knew it was. That smirk he had on his face in the pet store showed it. He was horny and now frustrated so that only meant one thing...

ROUGH SEX! You loved rough sex with Miguel so much. He would always degrade you and then praise you. He was just so bipolar during sex but whenever you made him real mad and pushed his limits like you are right now,

It always led to hateful, angry sex, well maybe not hateful but really angry, rough sex.

"Get out." He says through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. Your eye's go wide still keeping up with the act. "No Miguel! This conversation isn't over." You say stubbornly sitting in your seat.

"Fine. Then I'm getting out and I'm going to feed the dogs you're neglecting right now." He says with an eyebrow raised and a shrug.

You gasp and cross your arms over your chest. Your body and the car slightly shakes with Miguels slam to the door.

"what a jerk." You mutter under your breath but sometimes you forget your husband has super hearing and you also have a trunk, that happened to be open...

SMUT INCOMING: MDNI!!!!!

"Hmm love? What was that? Oh. I'm a jerk? mhmm mami, I'll show you a jerk." He says in that sultry smooth voice that had your knees buckling, every. single. time.

You let out a sigh as you watch him go into the house( aka a big ass mansion.) You wait until he goes fully inside. He closes the door but you still wait a little just for good measure.

When you walk in, something pushes you against the wall and Miguels lips are instantly on you roughly. You whimper and he grips your throat.

Your hand rushes to his hand around your throat and he growls biting your bottom lip, drawing it back before letting it spring back to it's original place.

His grip on your neck only tightens as he pushes his crotch against you. He flips you around roughly and your face and front part of your body hits the wall hard, his hand still on your neck.

You moan at the feeling of his crotch pressed against your ass now. "You wanted me to be a jerk right? Your so fucking ungrateful baby but damn are you beautiful." he growls in your ear, clearly fed up with your bratty attitude.

"Guess daddy is gonna have to fuck that attitude out of you huh? ¿Es eso lo que quieres, puta sucia?" He asks you. You loved when he dirty talked to you in spanish, it turned you on so much.

"Mhmm, want you to fuck it outta me papi." you say in return, your voice low and seductive. He grins against your neck before biting it roughly. causing you to. cry. out.

He licks over the bite and you whimper, your legs clenching to find some sort of friction. "Nuh uh mamacita, no trying to please your self. Spread em open baby." He says in a soft voice he didn't have a second ago.

You hesitantly oblige and spread your legs. "Good girl, look at that, mi niña bonita es tan buena para mí." he says proudly.

you smile to yourself before he's picking you up over his shoulder and carrying you up the stairs to your shared bedroom.

"Miggy, i-i'm sorry, I won't be bratty again! I promise." You beg him with pleading eyes when he rests you in the bedroom, on top of the bed as he slowly climbs on top of you.

"No. Don't do that. That's what you said last week, and last month. Every time you beg, I have mercy on you and let it slide, not today baby. Me lo tomarás como una buena chica, ¿verdad?"

"Yes daddy, I'll take it like a good girl for you! I promise, i'm sorry."you respond. His hand trails up. and down your body agonizingly slow and it's making you anxious and needy.

"mhm, daddy, can you fuck me now, please?" you beg. He looks at you and shakes his head.

"No, mi amor. Shut up, and maybe I will." He says roughly. Your eyes start to tear up, not from his words but from his actions.

I mean, I guess you deserve it but he didn't have to be this slow. You stay quiet for the next 20 minutes? you don't even know anymore cuz you lost count.

He finally dips his head, kissing down your stomach, your clothes long gone. He finally reaches where you want him. His warm tongue flat against your soaking cunt.

You let out a relieved sigh, "mhmm thank you thank you thank you miggy." you chant out breathlessly.

his tongue dips inside of you and that alone has you winded. Your breathing his ragged and your hands immediately flying to his hair as you tug on it.

"What'd I say, hmm love? shut up or I stop." He says sternly, your cunt now feeling empty without his tongue. He licked and sucked and prodded at your entrance multiple times.

Soon making you come undone. Your legs closed around his head and you cried out as he licked up every single drop you had, not letting any at all go to waste.

Once he stood back up and met your teary eyes, he smiled. Not a genuine, happy smile, no. It was this smirk that he made when he knew he won, when he knew that he had your little mind wrapped around his finger.

He begins moving the belt to his pants and all you hear is a grunt. You don't even register his cock slipping and sliding through your slick folds.

"Joder mi amor, te sientes tan apretado a mi alrededor." he moans out as he slides his cock into your entrance. You feel so tight around him. Like virgin tight.

"Gonna beat this pussy real nice baby, No quiero que camines por el resto del fin de semana. No walking at all mama." He whimpers when your walls clench around him.

He's pounding now. First it was small, slow thrusts to ease you into it but your pussy is just too addicting. Miguel was so lost in your pussy, he doesn't even realize how hard he's pounding in to you.

His pace unrelenting, even after he made you cum for a second time. Your pussy feeling overstimulated and sore but Miguel is too entranced to care, constantly muttering out cure words and how good you feel wrapped around him.

You felt your orgasm coming as your walls fluttered around him again. He groaned at the feeling and roughly thrusted into you yet again.

"This pussy is all mine, such a fucking brat. Now look who's a mess over my cock hmm hermosa? Mierda, eres una jodida puta para mí, cariño." he says aggressively, enunciating his words with his thrusts.

You scream out and chant Miguels name over and over again while your orgasm rushes through you. you claw at his back and pull on his hair. You've left little tiny crescent shapes in his biceps.

He finally cums inside you at the same time and he releases this animalistic, primal groan and you shudder at the sound. You moan when you feel his hot warm load burst inside you.

"Fuck Miguel." you pant out before sleep over comes you. You were so weak and so tired.

It's a little later in the night, 12:32 to be exact. You look at the clock and then look behind you to find a sleep Miguel with his arm under your head and the other keeping you close resting on your stomach.

You turn until your face is in his chest. You had Miguels shirt on and underwear. He's so sweet, he must've cleaned you up when you passed out.

Your hands run through his hair lightly and you smile at his resting face. You kiss his face, then his nose, then his lips and the his neck.

You loved everything about Miguel and you hope he knows it. How tall he was compared to you, how he had such a sweet soul behind that mean facade. Everything about him was drop-dead gorgeous.

If you had the option to relive one memory with Miguel, It would be the first time you met him. So kind and such a gentlemen.

Taglist: @oharaslover @ribbonprincess @willyoubemycherryy @cherryredstarsreblogs /@cherryredstars @versatilehater @dustbunniess / @evbunnie

[kaliforniahigh]

Can I have something angsty,sad,fluffy,(smutty if you want) ?

Reader is on the thicker/chubby side (a few tummy rolls and thick thighs) and she thinks Noah is only with her to say he's been with a fat chick or it's some fetish thing. Reader doesn't understand how he can be attracted to someone like her. Normal 9-5 job, not rich, shitty apartment, shitty car...just getting though life and they met by chance. Maybe he liked that she treated him like a regular person even though she knew who he was, like a "yeah, I know who you are...so what 🙄😐🤷🏼‍♀️" kinda thing.

Not gunna lie the "never been with a big girl" shit has happened way more than I'd like...and honestly, I've been really hating my body lately 😔

Thank you so much for this request! I know it took me a long time to get to it and I'm so sorry about that! I hope you still like it <3

Warnings: reader is a little hard on herself, Noah also feels insecure. Reader is fatphobic towards herself :( Besides that, this is fluff.

WC: 5.9k (this is long and I haven't proofread it yet!)

My requests are currently closed!

Noah was back home in Virginia for a couple of weeks. He really just went because his best friend, Nicholas, had begged him to. There was nothing left for him in this place anymore, and there hasn't been for years.

Even though he had a lot of bitter memories from his time here, he really tried to enjoy the moments he spent with his old friends, reconnecting and telling each other how their lives changed over the years.

Right now, he was at a bonfire, sipping on his beer, despite the chill weather that fall brought along. He looked around and saw many faces he didn't recognize from years ago. To his left, Nicholas was socializing, and he thought about how things haven't changed that much after all. His friend was always better at this than him.

His eyes were fixed on you, like they have been a couple of times during the night. You were hard to miss, with your orange knit sweater and beanie keeping your head warm. He didn't remember seeing you before, if he had, he would surely remember it.

You talked animately with your hands, sporting smile on your face that made your eyes crinkle. If he could describe your aura, it would be warm and inviting, and he felt a pull towards you, suddenly having the urge to come up to you and stike up a conversation.

He held himself back, though, because you seemed very engrossed in the conversation you were having with your friends, and he didn't want to intrude or bother you.

"You're still brooding in the corner?", he was so distracted by you, that he didn't even notice Nicholas approaching him.

"I'm technically not in a corner", Noah pointed to the wall he was leaning against. Nicholas fixed him with a look.

"You should try and talk to a few people, at least this one time", Nicholas sounded like a mom scolding a child and it mildly irritated Noah.

"I will, once I finish this beer", he settled on saying, but deep down, they both knew that Noah would stay in this exact same spot for the rest of the night.

"Whatever, man. I'll talk to Josh over there, he said something about Eric cheating on Alex with their babysitter, and I wanna know all about that. Do you remember Alex from high school?", Noah scrambled his brain, and he could vaguely remember an Alex from high school.

"Is she the one who fell down the bleachers once?", he asked, the memory slowly coming back to him. He should feel bad that this embarrassing moment is what he remembers her by.

"That's exactly the one", Nicholas exclaimed, his hand slapping against Noah's chest. "Apparently her luck didn't get any better. I'll get the scoop and then I'll tell you on the way home", Noah smiled at his friend's antics and watched him walk away.

Averting his gaze back to the gathering happening around him, he found himself watching you again. He really needed to break his habit, otherwise you would think of him as a total creep. His stance and unapproachableness already didn't help him at all. He decided to go look around for something to eat, sure that he saw some snacks around here somewhere.

"He's leaving", your friend said beside you. You had to keep yourself from looking at him. Your friends have been annoying you for the last 15 minutes about the hot guy who apparently couldn't stop looking at you.

"Good, would you stop bothering me now?", you said.

"Y/N, you need to talk to him. Have you seen this man? He is hot and he's totally into you", Charlie said, an exciting tone on her voice.

"And you gathered all that from the few minutes we've been standing here?", you looked at her with a disbelieving look on your face.

"We've been here for at least forty minutes and he hasn't stopped looking at you!", she exclaimed, as if she had it all figured out.

"He could've been looking in the general direction, not at me", you reasoned, trying to forget the way his gaze felt on you. He couldn't have been looking at you out of all people from your group of friends.

"Y/N", Charlie sighed, the excitement vanishing from her features. "You need to stop sabotaging yourself. Why is it so impossible for a man to be interested in you?"

"I don't know, Charlie. I'm gonna go grab another drink, ok?", you did what you always do when someone brought this up in conversation, you left and didn't look back.

Is not that you thought it was impossible for this man to be interested in you, you just thought it was unlikely. You spotted him right when he walked in, his height made him impossible to ignore. And even though he was wearing a hoodie, you saw the tattoos all over his neck and hands, the latter making you incredibly flustered. You never thought you could find someone's hands so attractive.

Meanwhile, you came to this gathering right from work. Your hair was a mess and you had no option but to slap a beanie over it. Your outfit was nothing interesting, just a sweater to keep you warm in the changing weather. Thinking about it now, the color was even a little silly. Who wore orange sweaters?

You arrived at the table where the drinks were set, eyes surveying for something interesting and non-alcoholic, since you drove here. You were so engrossed with whatever was in front of you, that you almost - almost - didn't notice a presence beside you. Like you said, he was hard to miss.

"You, hmm... you need help finding something?" You heard a voice and you knew exactly who was next to you. You looked at him and the first thought that came to your mind was how tall he was compared to you.

He had to look down to meet your eyes and you had to crane your head back to look back at him.

"Oh, I'm just looking for something that's non-alcoholic", you answered him, with a little laugh, knowing that those beverages were hard to find in these places.

"Yeah, it's going to be a little difficult", he said, scratching the back of his neck and looking at the table set in front of you.

"It's ok, I kind of expected it. I'll just go look for dome water", you shrugged your shoulders.

"Wait, I think I saw some stuff in the fridge earlier. Do you want me to get it for you?", he pointed at the house behind the both of you. His eyes were hopeful, like he wanted to do this for you. You thought it was adorable the way he actually wanted you to have something else other than water, and you didn't have the heart to teel him no. So you said yes and saw him walk into the house.

While you waited, Noah was crossing his fingers that his friends had something in the fridge other than booze and stale food. Yes, he lied to you about seeing something in the fridge earlier, but he couldn't let you drink water at a party. He also didn't know where the urge to please you came from, but the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.

He made his way to the fridge and opened it, and he immediatly spotted a few cans of Red Bull. They were of different colors - probably some tropical flavor - and he hoped you liked energy drinks, otherwise, he would look like a fool in front of the girl he thought was extremely cute.

He grabbed one of them and made his way back to where you were waiting for him.

"Here, I hope you like energy drinks?", he couldn't help but let some nervousness seep into his voice.

"Thank you, and I do", you answered him, and you visibly saw some tension leave his shoulders. "This is actually perfect. I'm so tired because I came right from work. Maybe this will wake me up a little", you said as you cracked the can open.

When he heard you say that, he wanted to pat himself on the back, but settled on giving you a contained smile instead.

"So", he sensed the lull in the conversation, and since he wasn't ready to stop talking to you yet, he decided to change the topic. "Who are you here with?"

"I'm friends with Charlie, she's Josh's fiancee", you answered him. He knew that Josh had gotten engaged in the last few months. Him and Nicholas knew Joah and Charlie from high school, and both of them were surprised it took Josh this long to ask the girl to marry him. Maybe if he was better at keeping contact with his friend, he could've met you way earlier.

"I saw you talking to her earlier", he pointed out and you cursed yourself, because your friends were right. He was watching you. "How did you two meet each other?", he asked and leaned against the table. He refrained from asking you to go inside and sit on the couch.

"We went to college together a few years ago. We were roomates and clicked instantly", you told him and he did the math in his head. You were friends with Charlie for what? Nine or ten years now? Shit, he really could've me you earlier. "What about you? Haven't seen you around before", you threw the question back at him, taking a sip from the drink in your hand. He had to avert his gaze from the way your lips wrapped around the rim, which was very distracting.

"Oh, I've known Josh for years. Us and a couple of other people here went to high school together", he saw your eyes light up with this information, visibly impressed.

"Oh my God. How come have I not seen you before?", you were shocked that you never noticed this man at any of the parties Josh and Charlie usually threw.

"I moved out of here really young. I live in LA now, so it's difficult to visit", he kept the information that he was in a band to himself. He liked the way you seem to not know who he is at all.

"I think he's mentioned having friends in LA before", you mused, but didn't dwell much on the information. "I don't blame you, LA seems to be much more interesting than here"

"Yeah, a little crazy out there. Not a dull moment, that's for sure", you agreed, and he wanted to know more about you, but refrained from asking what you did for a living, afraid that you would ask him back, and he sure didn't wanna lie to you.

"I never left here, I just assume from the stories I hear", he was surprised to hear this, not for the fact that you never visited other places, but because he couldn't imagine someone spending their whole lives in this place.

"You never felt the urge to go somewhere else?", he couldn't help but ask you. You thought for a second before answering him.

"I mean, I would obviously love to travel to other places, but I don't know if I would actually move somewhere else", he hummed, and you continued. "My whole life is here, my parents are here, and I know this city like the back of my hand. I guess I like the familiarity of the place"

He could understand that. Not everyone had a traumatizing childhood and teenage years like him. He guesses he could like the place if it wasn't tied to such bad memories.

He was about to ask you something else when Charlie approached the two of you, and he noticed the knowing look on her face the second he saw it.

"Hey, you two", she said as she rested one hand on your shoulder. "We're playing a board game in the living room, and Josh wanted me to ask if any of you would like to participate"

Noah waited for you to answer first, half hoping you would say no, just so he could talk to you for a little but longer. However, what you said instead crashed his hopes of talking to you for the rest of the party.

"I would love to, but I should be heading out. I'm dead tired and really need some sleep", you had an apologetic look on your face, and when he really took the time to look at you, he did notice your slightly droopy eyes.

"Thank you for coming, I know work has been chewing your ass lately", Charlie told you, but you dismissed her with a wave of your hand.

"You know I love hanging out with you guys, so it's worth the effort", you said with sincerity in your voice and you and Charlie exchanged a hug and goodbyes.

Turning back to face him, you noticed that you didn't really want to leave, but needed to before you got even more tired. Suddenly, you realized you never got his name.

"Well, we've been talking all this time and I never asked your name", you chuckled at the absurdity of it.

"My name is Noah", he extended his hand for you to shake. "What's yours?"

You took his hand in yours, noticing the way it entirely encompassed yours. You observed the details on the tattoos he had on his knuckles and hands, and you wondered once again if they continued up his arms and shoulders. "I'm Y/N"

"Well, Y/N, it's been a pleasure talking to you", he gave you soft smile and you wanted to get lost in his eyes and the way he was looking at you right now. As if you were the greatest thing that's happened to him the entire week. Little did you know.

"The feeling is mutual" you smiled back at him, having to let go of his hand, as to not turn this into those too long handshakes. "I should get going", you said and started to turn around before he stopped you.

"Actually", he started, prompting you to look back at him. "I was wondering if I could get your number", he had the same hopeful look on his face as earlier, when he asked you if he could grab you a drink. You looked at him for a few seconds before answering.

"Yeah, of course. Here it is", you handed him your phone and he put his contact in, giving it back to you.

"I'll text you so you can add mine", you tapped your screen a few times and after a couple of seconds, his phone vibrated on his back pocket. "There, now we have each other's numbers", you pocketed your phone.

"Text me when you get home?", he asked and you were caught a little off-guard, but couldn't deny you loved the way he genuinely seemed to care about you.

"Of course. I'll let you know", you smiled and contemplated giving him a hug, just to feel the way his arms would wrap around your body, but thought it would be too much for a first encounter. You settled in a little awkward wave as you turned around to make your way out of the backyard and in the direction of your car.

Noah, on the other hand, was frozen in place. When he spotted you, he was sure he was doomed to watch you from afar the whole night. But when he saw you by the table full of drinks, looking a little lost, he decided to take Nicholas' advice and mingle a little.

For someone who hated this city so much, he was actually feeling a little disappointed in having to leave in a few days. He always felt like there was nothing else worth sticking around for here, but as he replayed your smile in his head, and how your skin felt in his in those couple of seconds he shook your hand, he couldn't help but think he could stay here, if it meant he got to experince moments like this with you again.

He decided to make his way back inside, the party now with only a few people left. He sat on the couch as he watched Nicholas and his friends play a game of Monoply on the dinner table.

A few minutes went by when he felt his phone vibrate in back pocket. Fishing it out, he saw it was a text from you.

You: Hi! Just letting you know I got home safely :)

He felt a smile take over his face as he replied to you.

Noah: Hey! Glad everything went alright. Have a good night and sleep well x

You: Thank you :) Enjoy the rest of the party!

Noah: I'm about to leave soon actually. Talk to you tomorrow?

You: Sure! Drive home safe and let ME know when you get home? ;)

Noah: I will, but something tells me you'll be asleep by then

At home, you were leaning against the bathroom counter, your toothbrush hanging from your mouth, stupidly grinning at your phone.

You: I'll wait up :)

The next day was chores day for you. Clean the house, get the laundry done, change the sheets and whatever else you needed to do around the house.

Even with the music blaring through the speakers to keep you entertained while you loaded the dishes in the dishwasher, you couldn't help but let your mind run wild with thoughts of Noah.

You couldn't let go of the fact that he was so nice to you, despite never having seen you before. It's not that guys were never nice to you, it's just that the niceness came with the intentions fo something else, and you didn't want to think of Noah as one of those people.

Closing the dishwasher and starting the cycle, you made your way to the bedroom to collect all the clothes that needed washing.

As soon as you got in the room, you stopped in your tracks, your image on the mirror on the opposite wall from you catching your attention.

This was obviously a lazy day, and there was no use in dressing up to clean the house, but still, you could see the wisps of hair and the frizz sticking out from your bun, that sat atop of your head.

You wore a baggy t-shirt and some gym shorts, turning a bit to the side, you observed the fat of your thighs basically swallowing the tight fabric.

Nowadays, you weren't so worried with the way you look as you were as a teenager. A lot of therapy over the years helped you accept yourself. But you can't say it didn't leave any traumas behind.

Before you could even realize what was happening, the voices in your head were already sabotaging you.

"See? You were right. Noah is probably not attracted to you at all"

"He probably made a bet with someone about how he could charm the fat girl no one wants"

"He's tall, tattooed and handsome. You're just you"

It didn't matter anyway, he's doesn't even live here. His life in LA is probably more interesting than anything this city could offer him. He'll leave soon and your life would be back to normal. He'll probably not even text you, your phone number lost in all the other numbers he probably has in his phone.

Huffing with annoyance at how the day took a turn, you hurried to gather the clothes and make your way out of the room.

At the Ruffilo's house, Noah was laying on the couch, with his phone in his hand, open on your text thread with you from last night.

To be honest, he wanted to text you right when he woke up, but didn't want to come off to strong or bother you on your day off. Now, as it was nearing 3:00 pm, he was tired of holding himself back.

He's been contemplating on how he could ask you out for the entire day, and decided he should keep it simple. Maybe ask you out to eat some dinner. Nothing too fancy, just some burgers, fries and a milkshake at the place he loved to go with his friends as a teenager.

He even though about taking you to the lookout he always went to, to clear his head when the noises in his head got too loud. He hasn't been there in years, and now was a good time to try and resignify what the place meant to him.

So, he started typing.

Noah: Hey! Remember me?

He sent the text and stared at the screen, biting the nail on his thumb. He waited a couple of minutes for an answer, but the bubbles showing that you were typing a reply didn't appear on his screen.

You could be busy. Or you could already be out with someone else. It's the weekend after all, why would you spend it rotting away on the couch like him?

He knew if he stayed here, he would drive himself mad. So he decided to make his way uptairs to take a shower, and hopefully take his mind off of you for a few minutes.

Meanwhile, you were debating with yourself. After your dilemma earlier in the day, you weren't expecting to get a text from Noah. Actually, you were kind of hoping he wouldn't contact you, because you weren't ready to unpack what you were feeling for this guy you just met yesterday.

But here you are, mind running in circles thinking about what to say to him. Should you even reply? No, that's out of the question. You always thought it was rude to leave somone on read, especially on purpose.

You couldn't deny that you were curious to find out what he wanted. So, without dwelling much more on it, you started typing.

You: Hey there! Of course I do. Yesterday wasn't that long ago.

You wanted to lock your screen and chuck your phone across the room. But you weren't fifteen anymore, so you resorted to scrolling through social media as you waited for his responde. Eyes wandering to the notification bar every few seconds.

If this was just a booty call, you were going to be extremely upset. Would it be so bad though to have a one night stand with the hot guy?

Your phone vibrated in your hand, a text coming through.

Noah: Just wanted to make sure

What's up? You having a good weekend?

You: If good means cleaning the house the entire day, then I'm having a great weekend. What about you?

Noah: Well, now you're just making me feel bad, 'cause I didn't do anything the entire day

You: That sounds perfect, actually

Noah: Since your weekend has been so strenuous, what do you think about having some dinner?

Did he just ask you out? Were your eyes deceiving you? You didn't know what to tell him.

You obviously wanted to spend more time with him, enjoying the time you spent with him yesterday. But your mind took you back to earlier in the day. You hated yourself for always assuming the worst in a situation.

Maybe he didn't even mean anything by asking you to have dinner with him. Maybe he was just being polite. But why would he be polite to someone he just met?

Ultimately, you decided that this didn't have to mean anything more than just two people eating together. Besides, you were curious to find out what his intentions were. If he even had any.

You: Sounds good. What are you thinking?

Noah: Do you like burgers?

You: Oh, I love burgers!

Noah: It's set then! I know just the place

I'll pick you up at 7?

You: I'll be ready :)

Noah was sat on his bed, towel still wrapped around his hips, looking stupidly at his phone, a grin on his lips. He pondered a lot during his shower, and decided that he was done waiting. He didn't have much more time in his hometown, so he wanted to make the most of the time he still had with you.

He knew it was still too early to call this a first date, but he was nervous as if it was. He really hopes you like what he has planned for the two of you. It's nothing too fancy or too special, a simple dinner overlooking the city at night, but it held a lot of meaning for him.

Getting dressed and going downstairs to get some water, he knew he'd be stressing until it was time to leave to pick you up, so he decided to play some games on his computer to try and distract himself a little.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, and overanalyzed your outfit like you've been doing for probably the past 10 minutes. You wore a dress that went down to about your knees, it was a deep wine color, and threw on a leather jacket on top, just in case it got windy outside.

You opted to go for comfort instead of anything fancy, so deciding that this outfit was enough, you went to your closet and grabbed your pair of Vans and slipped them on your feet.

Noah should be here in about 15 minutes, and you wanted to be ready. He texted you a little earlier asking for your address, you gave it to him and just told him to text you when he got here. Since you lived in an apartment, it would be easir for you to come down and meet him at the entrance.

You didn't have to wait long until you phone chimed in your hands, a text popping up on the screen.

Noah: I'm here :)

You: I'll be down in a second!

Locking the door behind you, you waited for the elevator. Your legs couldn't seem to keep still, and you realized you were nervous for whatever was about to happen when you met him outside.

Do you hug him? Do you shake his hand? No, that's too formal of a greeting. But would he want to hug you this soon? He seemed to be a reserved person.

You didn't have much more time to overthink on this situation, because soon you were stepping inside the elevator. You cursed yourself for living only on the third floor, because before you could freak out a bit more, the doors dinged and you stepped out.

When you laid eyes on him, he was standing outside his car, back leaning against the passenger side door, long legs crossed and hands tucked into his pants' pockets.

You almost stopped yourself in your tracks. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt, and you could see the tattoos decorating both of his arms. You almost wanted to just stand there and admire the way looked waiting for you.

But you couldn't allow yourself to look like a fool on the first time you were going out with him. So you put on a smile and walked over to him. You didn't have to overthink anything at all, because as soon as you got close to him, you heard him say a "hello" and stretch out his arms for you to give him a hug.

He felt warm and sturdy against you, and you noticed the way his arms circled your shoulders and around your neck. You could feel his muscles through the fabric of your dress, and it made you a little dizzy.

When you both parted from the hug, you said "hi" back him.

"C'mon in", he gestured to the car and opened the door for you. You situated yourself on the passenger seat and he shut the door behind you, making his to the other side.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?", you asked, as you buckled you seatbelt and watched him do the same.

"I know this place that sells some really good burgers. My friends and I used to go there all the time. I hope it's still good", he answered and started driving.

"Burgers are always nice", you pointed out.

"Not always", he quickly looked at you with his eyebrows raised.

"Are you particular about your burgers?"

"It's not that I'm pinky or anything. It's just that I knwo when a burger is bad", he explained himself while taking a right turn and entering another neighbourhood.

"And what is a bad burger in your opinion?", you turned yourself slightly on your seat, so you could look at him better.

"Well, first, the bun has to be sealed, so it isn't soggy from the sauce", you nodded along to his explanation. "Then, the burger has to be thick enough to be juicy, and it can't be cooked for too long because then it becomes dry", he makes a face as if dry burgers are a personal attack to him.

"I guess you're right about all of that. Maybe spending four years in college kind of messed up my idea of good food"

"You ate a lot of weird stuff?", he asked you.

"It's incredible the stuff you can come up with on a budget", you shrugged and he seemed to be satisfied with your answer.

Not too long after, Noah's pulling to a vintage looking diner, but you notice him going to the drive thru instead of parking.

"We're not eating here?", you found yourself asking before you could stop.

"Shit, I didn't ask you", he stopped the car in the line and looked at you. "I was thinking about eating at this place I know, I think you're gonna like it", you could tell his confidence wavered a little bit, but you gave him a smile anyways.

"It's ok, I don't mind eating somewhere else"

The line progressed quickly and in about fifteen minutes, you were grabbing your order and Noah was driving again.

You noticed he was driving to a less populated area, and more trees came into view, the headlights of the car illuminated the path ahead.

"I clearly didn't think this through because this totally looks like I'm kidnapping you or something", he chuckled a little, but you could tell he was nervous.

"I didn't think about that", you told him. Maybe you thought this place was a little weird, but you weren't going to comment on that.

"We're almost there, ok", you nodded and true to his words, a few turns later, the car arrived at a clearence. Noah drove a little bit more and parked the car.

Looking through the windshield, you could see the light from the city below you and the stars shining bright above you.

"You were right. I really do like this place", you stated, still a little bit in awe. How did you not know about this place?

"I'm really glad you like it", he said, watching you observe the place around you. "Well, let's eat before the food gets cold"

You ate and talked, now feeling more comfortable with each other's presence. Noah told you he used to come here as a teenager all the time, though he didn't tell you the reason.

He didn't feel the same emotions now as he did before when coming to this place. It felt like a new life now for him, e new beginning, and he was to have someone like you here with him.

You did tell him though, that this was one of the best burgers you've ever eating in your life, and that you would totally eat there more. He couldn't hide the smile on his face.

After you were done, he gathered all the wrappers and cups and got out of the car to put it in the trash can that was not too far away from the car.

You sat there, observing him and wondering if you were the only one feeling like this was more than just two people who just met each other going out to dinner.

He got back and sat down on the driver's seat. Looking out into the city, he said "I kind of don't wanna go yet"

"I don't either", you agreed. You felt a weird sense of calm on this place, with him. "I can tell that being here means a lot to you. And you don't have to tell me anything, but I'm glad you brought me here"

He didn't say anything for a while, and you both just sat there in comfortable silence.

"I never liked coming back here, to my hometown", he started, you just looked at him, not saying anything, not wanting to rush him. "I have really bad memories from this place. But don't know, being here this time, meeting you, made me feel like this city still has some good in it"

"Noah, I'm hardly anyone important", you reasoned.

"It's not that. I just feel like you're here because you wanna be, and not because you want to get something from me", he looked down at his lap.

"Why would I wanna get something from you?", you were feeling a little confused now.

"it's just always the way it works. Charlie never told you whar I do on LA?", he questioned you, looking at you from the corner of his eyes.

"She told me you're in a band. Which I googled and you guys look pretty good at what you do", you noticed his eyes widening when you said this.

"So you know?", his voice was a little smaller right now, aprehensive.

"Of course. Josh would never shut up about his friends who went to LA and got famous", you laughed quietly at this. "I'm sorry that people made you feel worthy only if you have something to give them"

He looked down again, but you continued. "But I was serious when I told you that I'm not anyone important. I'm glad to be here right now, and I really enjoy your company, but you're going back to LA soon and then this is the last thing you'll think about"

"I don't think that's true", he was quick to disagree with you. "Before arriving here, I felt dread coming back to this place. Now I feel like I don't wanna leave. You're the reason for that, and I'll never forget the way you've made me feel this past two days. Because I haven't felt his normal in years", you didn't know what to say to that, so you just looked at him.

He straighted his back, and leaned his elbows on the center console, his face now closer to yours.

"Will you give me the pleasure of tasting your lips before I go absolutely insane?", he was looking right at your eyes, voice low as if there weren't the two of you here.

"We can't have you going insane, can we?", you said and leaned closer, brushing your lips on his.

You felt his hand going up your neck and gripping your jaw. He licked his lips and you closed your eyes, and soon you felt the plush of his lips on yours, slow at first, but then he got a little more urgent, picking up his pace.

His tongue teased your lips and you granted him entrance, you whimpered at the feeling of his mouth on yours, and he held your face tighter.

After parting, you were both panting, you with a smile in your face at the feeling of his thumb carresing your cheek.

"How am I supposed to ever leave this place now?", he wondered out loud and connected his lips yours again.

[t1ts-4-donaldson]

Kinda having a rough day, so could I possibly request something spicy or soft from Alien!Art or Camboy!Art? 🥺 (it’s cool if not)

Camboy!Art Donaldson Comforting Reader

NSFW: conversations about depression, anxiety general sadness, smut, barely proofread

I'm sorry this came out so late and TERRIBLE I'm beyond slumped I hope you've been feeling better <3

-

Art’s been editing his most recent video together, a sloppy blowjob you gave him weeks ago. He kept replaying his favorite part, your plush pink lips struggling to fit his thick member into your open mouth. Your fist doing most of the work, giggling as you hide behind your hand getting shy, he smiled promising that you've been doing so well

The constant thought of being a boyfriend ached in his chest, it’s not like you’d say yes. You’re just his piggy bank right?

All he knew is that he wanted to be there for you. He could tell the past 3 days had been hell, dodging his calls, skipping out on hanging out with him and ignoring text messages about video ideas. School was kicking your ass, job hunting was torture he wishes he knew how to help you

The knock on his door startled him, he sighed pausing his editing stumbling towards the door noticing something was wrong the minute he opened it. Art was met with your sunken solemn eyes and fake smile more so when you pounced on him slamming your lips onto his without saying a word.

Usually you'd kiss him on the cheek and ask for a movie night, convince him to watch Jersey Shore or Mean Girls, he'd reluctantly agree secretly liking your choices. He loved anything you did but today was off.

"hey-" he pulled back confused you shut him up shoving him against the wall knocking the air out of him hands raking up and down his stomach 

"need you"

"Wait-" the words were lost as you sucked his skin hard trailing hickeys down the column of his neck eliciting loud groans

"you're never this needy" he sighs squeezing your ass in his hands distracted but still caught off guard.

"lets make a video, my first time it'll be hot"

he stilled alarm bells ringing in the back of his head, "your first time on camera?" he repeats hands pushing you back by your waist

He hates the idea, your first time having sex in front of a propped up camera, no you deserved something intimate, a quiet night not a forced performance for hundreds to strangers to consume

"yes" you whine irritated.

"I don't know" he mutters reluctantly, taking a few steps back almost to jostle your shoulders hoping you’d snap out of whatever twisted daze you’re in.

you cup his cheeks "I'm ready ok let's do it think about all the views and the money"

he feels scummy "this isn't about recognition or cash this your first time is kind of important"

you roll your eyes "like morals would stop you." you palm his dick through his sweatpants

"don't be a dick" he muffles a moan through gritted teeth dick hardening in his pants

you'd been craving him for days the image of running your fingers through his blonde curls while straddling him on your bed and mumbled praises through heated make out sessions would all pop through your sleepless nights and panic attacks. The thoughts would stop you hungered for it, the silence that came with romance, a peace only Art brought even if it was for entertainment.

“come on we can do it I'll do anything for you" you whisper against his ear nipping his earlobe

'that's the issue' he cringes, he honestly couldn't say no to you, not when you're batting your lashes sinking down to your knees toying with the strings of his sweats, he can't can't look past your flushed cheeks or the I adore you gaze that never failed to turn him on

“fuck ok” he rubs his temples gripping your arms standing you back up on your feet. He held in a pained sigh as you ran towards his bed swiveling and falling back, shimming your shorts down your legs. He sets up his camcorder. He steps behind the viewfinder and angling the lens where your bodies meet, respecting your privacy.

Insecurity bubbles in your stomach as he lazily strips a tiny frown settling on his face acting like this is a chore instead of the usual way he worships you

“Come on” you huff take his hands place them on the hem of your shirt insisting he’d tug them off himself

“Ok” he scoots up on the bed hovering over you, he can see the gears whirring in your head as he stares into your eyes contemplating what to do, hoping you’d back track, shove him off or even run out of his dorm if that’s what it took to stop. Art was too much of a coward to say otherwise himself, he couldn't live with the idea of embarrassing you by saying no.

Art grips your wrists "are you sure?" He hesitates trying to find any doubts, you swallow and silently nod your body slightly shaking. He sighs sifting through his drawer pulling out a condom tearing the wrapper open with his teeth

Art pecks your cheek then your mouth nipping your bottom lip, his hands trailing under your shirt cupping your breasts lightly kneading them in his hands as he slips your top off sitting back admiring the view chuckling when your arms naturally cup them, "don't" he pries them away.

"This might be a little uncomfortable, tell me to stop if it hurts." He reaches for the camera pressing record rolling the condom down his shaft tries sinking his dick into your pussy you're wet enough but so tense

"relax" he pleads tracing circles against your hips tilting them up barely slipping his cock in you stopping when you clench your eyes shut

 it stings

"Want me to keep going?"

"Yes-" you bite back a curse

Art retreats ready to tap out until you suddenly wrap your arms around his neck, lugging him down grunting as your mouth slams painfully against his distracting him from your obvious discomfort while rubbing your clit, this isn't working 

"We can't do this.." He huffs, the situation was beyond uncomfortable and felt so forced. He shuts camera off sitting up on his haunches rubbing his eyes so hard it hurts. Art couldn't meet your gaze, guilt eating him up feeling like a pervert, like he was using you even though you wanted this he couldn't take advantage of you when you're a mess, terrible at hiding it too.

his body stills when he hears you sniffle he peers down and his stomach drops at the sight of your hands covering your face body quaking beneath him. “Hey” he caresses your cheek, tugging your hand lightly "talk to me" he asks softly blue irises scanning your features grimacing when he's met with red rimmed eyes.

You shake your head a terrible dread overcoming you, hating the way Art was scrutinizing you like you were broken, at least that's what it felt like. Tonight was supposed to be the perfect distraction everything you needed help coping with

"I'm sorry, I can be good what do you want me to do-" you blubber scooting down to his softening member slithering your trembling hand between you both searching for it between your open legs "I can give you a blow job anything"

"no" he's firm laying you back down. "I don't want a blowjob I want to make sure you're ok" he fusses sternly feeling absolutely miserable when your face crumples he sits up on the headboard resting you against his chest cupping the back of your head as you sob his steady heartbeat calming you down 

"wanna talk about it?"

"everything fucking sucks. I had a terrible day and I can't do anything right. I feel like everyone hates me god I'm so insecure" you cry he kisses your forehead arms wrapping tighter around your naked frame.

"sex won't make it better. I know I've tried" he admits staring away vacantly. It's a topic you don't pry. "I'm sorry you had a bad day, that you've been feeling bad in general." He shakes his head "You're not any of those things not even close. No one hates you"

he hauls you up by your biceps forcing you to meet his gaze pressing a kiss on your cheek "just talk to me when you feel things get hard alright." he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear 

"you're easy on the eyes too" he laughs blowing a raspberry against your cheek heart softening when you giggle

[little-forest-goblin]

You know something? I'm feeling feral and I'm super upset (but I understand) about Kay and Mango leaving so why not go a little crazy? This Fandom may be sad but Dammit! We continue out of spite if we must!

My request: (As always, only if you feel comfortable with this. Please never force yourself) Five with a F-Reader. They're relaxing in his apartment one night and while F-Reader is older body wise (mid to late 20s maybe?) She's still younger than him and he wonders why she doesn't want to go out to things like clubs or bars.

She tells him it's not her scene, never felt comfortable there. Besides, she can show him just how much fun staying in really can be. (I'm just saying, I feel like the man would be a fan of oral. Take that however you want.)

Lastly, really just thank you for sticking around. It breaks my heart to see S4 ruining the love others carried for this show. Especially when they put so much heart and mind in it. Maybe the comic coming back will help us feel better.

Hi! This is a really good ask and i will definitely do it. Also yeah it is a bit upsetting that they left i understand that but don’t worry god damn it i’m not leaving until they kill me and drag me off this ship! It is very upsetting they ruined a lot of people with S4.

Lts get feral. I will happily fill in your request. Without further ado here i present you.

———————————————————————

~Lip service~

Warnings: Oral sex (F and M receiving), Switch five and switch reader, details!!, tooth rotting fluff!!!

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

It was yet a late night in fives apartment. The tv was on a boring comedy show that honestly you dont think anyones ever heard of. It was one of those cheesy ones with the laugh track in the back and grainy visuals. The jokes in the show just weren't landing and the laugh track would be played at odd times where it wasn't funny. It's like a comedy show made on a budget. 

Five sat in the living room with you just watching this shitty show that decided to grace their presence. 

On the coffee table were two plates and a now empty box of pizza they had ordered a while ago. Nobody felt like cooking and pizza has been on their mind for a little while. 

Five sighed and looked over at you staring at you as you rested your cheek on your fist watching the shitty show until you looked at him 

“What?”

“Why do you never wanna leave the house?” he said suddenly like the thought has been eating away at him

you raised a brow before chuckling. “All my stuff including my bed is there.”

he smiled and shook his head “Jesus christ you know that's not what i meant” 

you chuckled and shrugged “I don't know i guess i just never like going out”

he made a hum of acknowledgement before turning back to the TV watching that dull ass show again. No thank you. He looked back at you “But don't you ever want to go out sometimes? What about a club?”

you looked back at him from the TV show “I do like to go out sometimes but i'd rather be at home. As for clubs i just don't enjoy them”

He was a little surprised. He may be physically in his twenties and mentally he is this odd mix of old and young but he knew very well that usually in your twenties you want to go out and party. Most of them did. 

He turned right back to you “Why do you never wanna go out? You know, meet new people? Find someone?” 

you chuckled and turned back to him “Yeah cause i'd love to bump and grind against a random person i do not know. That sounds so appealing” you said with a hint of amusement and genuinity

that got a chuckle out of him. He had to admit the club was not exactly the best place to find love anyway. He also was pretty relieved. It might be selfish but it's not like he is keeping you here against your will but if he ever saw someone against you like that he doesn't think the jealousy would be maintained. More than likely it would be out there for the world to see. A dark green jealousy monster. He kinda wonders if you feel the same.

You looked back at the shitty TV show and leaned your head on your closed fist. “I'm starting to think you enjoy this show with how much its on”

he rolled his eyes “No it's just a time filler. Background noise, you know?”

“pfft yeah right. I think you like this show. No shame in that” 

he scoffed “Says the one who is a hermit in the house staying there all the time”

you tsk’d and turned to look at him leaning closer “Says the one who can't control his drinking”

he was shocked at that but not offended “That was a low blow even for you!” 

you laughed “That wasn't anything ill show you a low blow” admittedly when you said that it didn't sound right from the beginning. You saw him smirk and your face heated up. You tsk’d “Wipe the stupid grin off your face”

he chuckled “No no please continue show me this low blow”

“Fuck you” you mumbled he grabbed your chin forcing you to look at him. his eyes are dark and intense. It almost made you nervous. Almost. 

“I should fix that naughty mouth of yours for you. You keeping giving me all that lip service and im gonna fuck it right out of you” he said with his eyes locked on yours never moving out of sight. He said it with dominance but with wiggle room for you to say no.

You were paralyzed for a minute. It almost shocked you. Again ALMOST. you looked up at him and your eyes intensified. You had to admit his offer was making your panties wet and it wasn't like you didn't like him, you just never thought he liked you. 

Even through all the bullshit and all the problems and apocalypse after apocalypse you were there for him and he was there for you. Although there were times you wanted to strangle each other to death. 

You smirked and grabbed his hand and moved them from your jaw. You smirked and climbed into his lap which had him a little surprised and flustered. You instead moved his hands to your hips as you say your pretty ass down right over his dick. “Tell me to get off and I will.”

he swallowed. God he did not want you to move. His dick was already hardening feeling your core right against his cock “St-stay”

You smiled softly and then grinded causing you to let out a little breath and for five to moan in relief. You could feel his dick hardening in his pants probably leaking.

he panted holding onto your hips as he tried to get you to go faster “B-baby please…”

“ah ah ah not so fast i'm setting the pace” you grinned evilly and went slow making him let out a keening whine. 

You smirked climbing off and in between his legs “I'm boring? i'll show i'm a good time” 

he panted as he watched you unbutton his pants “Oh fuck y/n” 

(Fives POV)

her hands wrapped around my cock. God she looked so pretty like this. I couldn't help but let out groans as she pumped my cock nice and slow at first doing this to drive me crazy and to break me. Fuck it felt so good but not enough.

I want to break. I want to be hers. I want her to be mine. Fuck i need her. I wasn't usually the submissive one but the feeling rose up in my belly along with pleasure and need. I can't help but need her. She meant so much to me.

I dint think she understands how much she means to me sticking with me through everything and helping ne through the worst of the fucking worst. She was my ride or die.

“Fuck y/n please go faster” i panted out not able to hold in my begging. With an evil grin she squeezed my cock a little giving it a delicious pressure and then stroked giving it that delicious friction. 

I was keening my hands gripping onto the sofa “F-fuck just like that. i need you so badly, baby”

I looked down at her as she brought herself to my leaking dick. It slowly leaked precum from the tip and slid down the sides of it. 

I watched as she kissed from the base of my cock to the tip before licking up the length of it gathering the precum just to taste for herself.

(End of fives pov. Your pov)

You had just kissed the length of his cock watching him squirm at the feeling. You watched as his back arched softly as you licked up the length of his cock giving him a smirk “That feel good baby?” you said sweetly

he nodded his eyes needy and his moans sweet and whiny

you tsk’s and slowed your movements “I need you to use your words baby” 

he panted “Y-yes it feels so good. D-don't stop”

you felt triumph in your chest. You smiled up at him “Such a good boy. Good boys deserve a reward.”

you took the tip of his cock in your warm wet mouth making him let out a surprised gasp and his back arch. Hard. 

you slid your mouth up and down his cock slowly at first. Flattening your tongue for him. He was in heaven. Relief fulfilling him. But relief soon turned into loud needy moans as you really started bobbing your head. Your tongue worked wonders on him. your hands pumped whatever you couldn't reach. His hand went to your hair in desperation to hold onto something

“Please do more! oh god please!” he whined out making you go faster

his stomach began to tighten like a cord pulled taut and was continuously being pulled slowly. He looked down at you and watched how you worked him like how no other woman could. His cock disappearing and reappearing in and out of your warm wet mouth. His cock glistening with a mix of precum and your spit. 

just watching you made the feeling in his lower stomach become tighter. You looked up at him as you pulled up and worked his tip with your tongue. It was his undoing. The eye contact with you was too much. 

“F-fuck y/n!”

you knew what that meant. You went back down bobbing up and down really working him which became his undoing. You felt his cock twitch and throb until white ropes of his essence spilled into your awaiting mouth and relaxed throat. You swallowed it all down. His hand on your head keeps you there. His head had fallen back, his mouth hung open in a silent moan. He saw stars behind his eyelids. 

you pulled off looking up at him smugly. You felt quite accomplished and incredibly wet for having just rocked this man's world.

he looked down at you “ y/n…you're amazing.”

you chuckled “What cause i just sucked your dick like a pro?”

he smiled as he caught his breath. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you a little slowly since he was a little wiped out from that. He felt like you just sucked his soul out of him. you happily kissed back which quickly became heated again. He laid you back down and kissed uo your jaw, down your neck and chest and down your body coming to your pants. he looked up at you asking permission which you of course nodded a yes. He was quickly tearing them things off leaving you in your panties which made him incredibly pleased.

“God, you're so pretty. I can’t believe i can call you mine” 

you raised a brow your heart nonetheless leaped. You watched as he kissed your thighs reverently “You never asked if i could be yo-“

he obviously didn't wanna hear it cause he buried his face between your legs making you gasp. “Oh holy- FIVE!”

His clever tongue was working on you like a starved man who needed a drink of water in the desert. 

his tongue flattened and licked you from your slit to your clit making you shiver. His tongue did that for a while giving you the same teasing treatment you had done to him to drive him wild. your hand shot out to his hair. “Oh five please!” 

he smirked against your pussy “please what princess?” he said. It was muffled and let off vibrations making you gasp softly 

“God damn it you know what!” you weren't quite ready to relinquish the high of control you had

he pulled off his chin covered in your honey. “If you don't tell me than i guess you don't want me to please you”

you bit your lip and as he began to pulled away you broke “Fuck please fucking eat me out five! I need you so badly!!”

he smirked “That's what i thought” he buried his head again and was latched into your clit for seconds making you gasp and your back arch up. his mouth sucked and licked at your clit in a frenzy.

His lips wrapping around your clit and gently tugging and sucking. He had to admit he was getting a bit pussy drunk. He loved how you tasted. He could stay down here and die if you would let him. He would die completely happy too.

your moans echoed in the room “Holy hell yes! God just like tha-“ you were cut off by let out a gasp as he nibbled on your clit a little letting a soft shot of pleasurable pain go through you. It was like a dull ache that had you keening for more. He kept doing that and soothing it with his tongue making you desperate and whine for  more.

He looked up at you loving how you looked in pleasure. It was satisfying for him to see you so satisfied. His tongue was then thrusting into you making you scream in pleasure. your legs threatened to close around his head but his hands came to your thighs holding you open which made you squirm cause it kept him in the spot that had you seeing stars. 

your walls began to flutter and clench. His hand moved to let his thumb rub your clit as his tongue thrusted in and out of you. You squirmed and moaned in need of release. 

“Cum for me y/n come on. Come on beautiful” he praised. the vibrations going through you being the last thing that made you fall over the edge

your back arched up and your head fell back and your mouth hung open as a loud moan left you as he kept going until there was nothing left but overstimulation and twitches in your thigh.

he slowly drew away and wiped his mouth. Looking at you with desire, love and so much more. 

you panted and your back went back against the bed. You opened your eyes looking up at him. He smiled softly and crawled over you. You leaned up on your elbows and kissed him which he happily returned the kiss to you.

you both stayed like that for a while until you and him pulled away softly. You couldn't help but wonder what this made you both. You really hoped you liked the answer

“Five, what does this make us?”

he stayed silent almost in thought which made you nervous and begin to ramble

“cause i don't want this to ruin us and i don't want this to be a one time only thing cause i really like you five i-“

he kissed you softly to shut you up and then pulled off looking you in the eyes with genuine love 

“I'm glad you like me too, y/n. I don't want this to be a one time thing either and i don't want to be just friends. I wanna be more”

you smiled tears of joy coming to your eyes. “Will you be mine five?”

he smiled softly “You already have my heart why would i ever say no?”

you chuckled “God your cheesy”

“only for you” he said smiling as he leaned in and kissed you again.

you and him were wrapped in each other's love. For one another. Something no one could take from you and something nobody has been able to successfully do. 

———————————————————————

Thank you for your request dear reader! I am so glad you gave me this request and any more would be greatly appreciated! I love you and be safe out there 😘💋

[stardustdiiving]

i would LOVE to know your headcanons on how the archons interact with each other!! (if u want to share ofc)

I HAVE. SO MANY THOUGHTS on this topic and have attempted to organize them the best I can. Here’s like, the layout of how I decided to do this

The context I imagine these headcanons take place in

A little section for each archon and my individual thoughts on how they interact with everyone else

Enjoy the multiple thousand words under the cut

Context these headcanons take place in

So obviously, there’s a lot of different contexts I can imagine the Archons interacting in. Two of them could cameo in a light hearted event like we’ve seen happen with Zhongli & Venti, or…of course, something more serious and plot heavy, because I do feel it’s inevitable Genshin will give us some Avengers Assemble moment with the Seven late into the game JISNXIXJS. When it comes to headcanon stuff, though, when I think of Genshin character interactions I find it most intuitive to put the characters in a casual and lighthearted sort of setting because this is likely what’s needed for the characters’ charm to be on full display.

So for the sake of this post, I’m going to pretend that all the Archons have basically decided to restart the original 7’s tradition of meeting up with each other to hang out—in Liyue or otherwise. I like to imagine that these meetings start as a way for all of Archons to get to know each other, instead of something they all decide to start doing after they become friends because…I don’t know, Traveler or someone suddenly decided it would be great if they all finally met and had a dinner party together or something.

Additionally…just for full indulgence here, I want to imagine that in this situation the Archons are allowed to bring friends to these meetings—especially notable immortals from their immediate social circles who would probably be allowed to see Venti and Zhongli walking around as their real identities and such. This is honestly how I kinda imagine original 7 meetings went too—if they’re gathering in Liyue it doesn’t feel beyond me to imagine maybe some Jueyun Karst adepti are allowed to hang out every so often. I want the setup here to feel casual, therefore I’m allowing like Ei to bring her wife Yae Miko with her because Miko wanted to see Ganyu + also Ei isn’t very social and is relying on Miko to buffer for her SJSICJCDN

Venti

friendly & used to interacting with other archons—presence probably really helps set the vibe. this is great bc like 1/3 of the group has social anxiety

Zhongli — #oldmanyaoiwins

Ei — he’s like “oh it’s Makoto's more introverted sister who seems scary but toootally has a soft spot haha :)". Based off what we know about Makoto I feel he probably got along a bit better with her, but I think he’s fine being civil/friendly with Ei…she’s just probably not the archon he gets along with the most yk

Nahida — you know Venti would love Nahida. What makes this even better is its canon: he says in his voice line for her he “gets along very well with the dendro archon”. This is incredibly endearing to think about and I’m desperate to see them interact bc it would be so cute. But im also kind of haunted by the implications of venti being friends with Rukkhadevata. I feel the idea of just completely forgetting a friend would Venti in particular pretty sad…I like the idea he gets a vague, unnerving sense of Deja vu when he’s around Nahida sometimes but is like hm. Don’t like that. (Though i wouldn’t put it past Venti to be suspiciously knowledgeable about Irminsul things)

Furina —has a very cute voiceline about wanting her invited to windsblume. I feel Venti would have a very specific kind of empathy for Furina’s relationship w/ facade & performance and make an effort to be very nice to her

Mavuika — Wants to go drinking with her. That's great Venti I'm glad you found another Archon who loves alcohol and war trauma repression. (I think they’d get along just fine in casual settings!)

Zhongli

similar to Venti, he's chill & used to interacting w/ other archons. Wouldn't feel unsure of his place there whatsoever. Knows exactly what’s up

Venti — #oldmanyaoiwins

Ei — I dont think he minds Ei, & would be cordial with her in his usual Zhongli way, but there's probably not much chemistry here. Eyebrow raise at some of her life choices

Nahida — would enjoy talking to Nahida because they both love philosophically pondering things. there's a charm to this when you compare Zhongli's extensive lived experience as the eldest Archon with Nahida's eagerness to experience the world as the youngest Archon being notable elements of their characters. (old post I made about this here)

Furina — Canonically goes out of his way to make his respect for her known in voice lines + few interactions in 2024 Lantern Rite, which is very charming. I imagine Zhongli would especially respect Furina’s resolve & commitment to save Fontaine as the God of Contracts, you know? Old Man Rex Lapis wants you to know he thinks you're cool & that you should practice self confidence

Mavuika —??? There would be something so funny about this. Zhongli's civility born out of old man autism & Mavuika's civility born out of her being overly emotionally stable would give their hypothetical interactions such an unintentionally funny awkwardness in my mind. They'd vibe

Ei

Overwhelmingly I imagine Ei would feel Really Awkward about interacting w/ other gods. I think she'd learn to have a good time but would struggle to form really close bonds with any of them individually, at least at first. I’ve always imagined she maybe shadowed Makoto whenever she attended Archon meetups in the past, so in the back of her mind trying to socialize as the Archon feels awkward and more like “Makoto’s thing”. She’s trying her best

Venti — canonically doesnt like him which is so funny to me, & also makes complete sense because i think Venti’s whimsy would just baffle and confuse her. Yae Miko, however, canonically does get along with Venti, which gives me this fantastic mental image of Ei being very sad her wife says she can't blow Barbados up with lightning for being overstimulating to be around because she finds him funny and says it would "totally kill the vibe” of the archon meetup. I really enjoy this coexisting with my earlier note that Makoto probably also got along with Venti. Someone help her

Zhongli — again there’s probably not much going on here but I like to imagine she just thinks Zhongli is kind of weird & needing to exist in physical proximity to him and Venti bantering with each other is a deeply harrowing experience for her

Nahida — I Really love that her voiceline abt Nahida is "aw :) she seems like a very gentle god. I like how she's capable of psychological warfare but chooses not to" it's really funny. I enjoy the idea she finds Nahida easier to talk to than some of the other archons and likes sharing desserts with her. Just generally thinks Nahida is 2 apples tall and very polite/pleasant to be around

Furina — Has a very sweet voiceline where she really empathizes with furina over the 500 years she spent fighting the Shogun. I like to imagine Ei is able to pick up on Furina's nervousness at being around other Archons & kinda tries to connect with her/be welcoming to her, even though that isn’t something that Ei’s very used to doing. Which would be kind of sweet

Mavuika — Similarly to Zhongli there would be something unintentionally funny with this. Ei I feel would be torn between resonating with Mavuika’s experience handling the burden of a War and kind of fascinated by Mavuika’s ability to be charismatic in a leadership position. She’s like I have no idea how you’re doing that but that is okay 💜 are you interested in having 20 friendly spars in a row I think it would be fun :) (honestly? Mavuika is probably the individual Archon Ei would have the easiest time getting along with)

Nahida

strongly believe she’d have social anxiety about meeting the other gods for the first time. Her voicelines about the Seven kinda suggest she’d be worried about fitting in & getting a bad grade in Archon Socializing. She probably warms up fast once she gets to know everyone, especially when she realizes everyone already really likes her and is looking forward to meeting her (which I don’t think she’d expect…cute)

Venti — Has a voiceline wondering if she should ask the other archons to play hopscotch w/ her in an attempt to get to know them. I think if she did this alot of them would ne like “uhh…” & Nahida would get so nervous she’s totally killing the vibe until suddenly Venti mows everyone else down to grab her shoulders and go well BUER MY BFF OF COURSE I'LL PLAY HOPSCOTCH WITH YOU!!!!! and she'd be like :D !!!!! and latch onto Venti immediately. As I said in Venti’s section there is no debating that Nahida and Venti would get along they would both be ecstatic to have someone matching them in Whimsy

Zhongli — To Nahida Zhongli is probably just like this funny old man who will happily infodump to her about the wide range of things he's knowledgeable about for 6 hours straight anytime she asks. Like she knows he's Rex Lapis. She’s just very glad Rex Lapis is autism grandpa 9000 as a person

Ei — I think Nahida would get along fine with Ei but i also think it would be extremely funny if Ei's like, tendency for emotional unawareness just stresses Nahida out conceptually. I want a situation where Nahida understands Ei as a person and doesn’t dislike her per se but she’s cursed with getting exactly why Wanderer and Ei’s relationship is Like That. In my mind this is paired with Ei being very friendly and nice to Nahida specifically because i think it would make Wanderer feel like this

Furina — She’d love Furina tbh. Both of them are smart/sensitive/have spent alot of their lives anxious about meeting the expectations of their people and I think it would be cute to see them hang out :) Nahida probably just finds Furina's presence fun and enjoys hanging out with her

Mavuika — Nahida would think Mavuika is cool & nice and be happy to have her visit Sumeru but also probably feel kind of compelled to study her under a petri dish for her quirky millennial wine aunt demeanor

Furina

So I imagine the other archons view Furina as like, "fellow member of the Seven whos also a human" but not "another archon"—I think Furina would find it stressful to ne treated as an Archon after everything so everyone else would probably like, happily welcome her as part of the group but treat her as a human w/ that in mind. I think this would help Furina be a lot more comfortable interacting w them, but I think she'd also just be frazzled to be considered "one of them" and very nervous/intimidated by everyone & what they think of her at first. I can see her being worried they'd be offended by the "faking being a god" thing too. This would stop once she realizes all of them feel entirely positively and respectful of her but I think even that would be a bit overwhelming at first. I think she’d warm up eventually but just inherently has a lot of baggage with the idea of being “one of the Seven” that would probably inevitably come up in a situation like this…like, I imagine pre-MoTG Furina was probably terrified of the idea of interacting with an actual Archon in fear of them seeing through her act

Venti — I think she'd almost be like…overwhelmed (positively) by Venti, who would probably be being very friendly/welcoming of her as a fellow archon. Once she processes he's entirely sincere in his friendliness & theyre able to connect over their talents in performance arts I think they got along great though! This is assuming a situation she gets to know Venti’s identity…more plausibly I imagine she gets the vibe something about this very nice mondstadt bard she just met is Off (like she kinda sensed something odd about Zhongli) but not be fully let in on the secret.

Zhongli — "THAT'S Rex Lapis? Oh o__o ;; explains why Neuvilette was trying so hard to find him…aha…”

Ei — I’m so sorry but I think it would be really funny if Furina was just a little scared of Ei. Like as I said in Ei’s section I imagine Ei trying to be nice to Furina & connect with her while being just completely oblivious to the fact Furina is kinda worried Ei will strike her down with divine lightning. JJDNDJJDNDJDJDHD. She doesn’t dislike Ei or anything Ei just strikes me as someone easy to find intimidating even when she’s not trying to be

Nahida — I think if Nahida reached out to connect with her over their shared experiences of being rejected/alienated by their people for being too humanly vulnerable it would genuinely mean a lot to Furina & they'd hit it off. I think she’d generally like Nahida but also..I will not lie. I think it would be funny if Furina was also kind of conceptually freaked out by Nahida. Like I think in practice it’s mostly fine but Nahida is probably a little too uncomfortably good at reading Furina so Furina is like okay as someone with deep rooted intimacy issues I am a little stressed out by the conditionally omnipotent mind-reading baby present in this establishment

Mavuika — I think she'd find Mavuika's presence grounding to be around but maybe struggle a bit to start conversation with her, at least at first. I imagine Furina would feel a sense of anxious camaraderie with Mavuika as another human archon but at the same time I feel like if they met pre-MoTG it would've been a bit of a mindfuck for Furina to encounter another human archon, especially one who just seems to have a lot more genuine self-assurance about it than her

Mavuika

Mavuika interacting with the other archons amuses me because I think she's just like disproportionately normal and well adjusted compared to everyone else. I think she engages the others pretty confidently and casually. If you wanted to do something fun with this I think it would be interesting if she gets this weird sense she almost fits in a little too well with the other archons, despite being human. Almost like an inverse of how I think Furina would always feel a bit weird about being considered one of the Seven, even by the other archons

Venti — Would probably rock with Venti's whimsy and enjoy drinking with him. Just thinks he's a solid (if not sort of strange) guy but I think Venti's potiental to mess with Mavuika outmatches Mavuika's capacity to mess with Venti…which would result in her being the target of hijinks. I think she needs this though

Zhongli — I want to say she'd be like "fuck yeah grandpa explain those rock facts in excruciating detail" about Zhongli but I think her saying this to Zhongli's face directly is a bit outside the bounds of Mavuika's flavor of quirkiness. I do feel it's the correct sentiment but she'd probably be a bit more eloquent about it. I feel she'd enjoy his sense of humor and the way he messes with people

Ei — I think they vibe over shared backgrounds in war/combat and Mavuika would have a fun time sparring with her but Ei leaves a very “huh! Interesting" kind impression on Mavuika. Their main common bond is both of them are kind of awkward to socialize with because they're too used to being entirely focused on The War

Nahida — This would be cute. Mavuika is probably just like "awwww haha little guy" and would likely enjoy hoisting Nahida up on her shoulders so she can feel tall. “Cool smart kid who’s nice to talk to” kind of situation. Tbh of this depends on the specifics of how Mavuika interacts with children because while I think she’d obviously be diplomatic and respectful of Nahida as a fellow Archon (tm) i feel you could do something interesting with how Mavuika being human and having very human bonds may impact how she views “peers” even in like an Archon setting, especially as someone who had younger siblings…hmmm

Furina — Would also be cute, I think Mavuika would be pretty thrilled there's another human Archon in the vicinity and intuitively really empathize with Furina. Probably prioritizes approaching Furina because she just really wants to see if they hit it off

I think that’s most of it…there’s like a perpetual archons sitcom happening in my mind. Im less interested in them being this like tightknit established friend group and more this funny opportunity for a lot of different genshin social circles to interact. The fact they’d all have varying levels of chemistry with each other but have an incentive to like, get along/be cordial is really amusing to me

[littleststarfighter]

Feeling sorry for myself

I just want to apologise if I seem standoffish sometimes. Or if I'm super late to reply to anyone. I get too shy and I have anxiety. After my mum passed away it kinda got worse. But I'm trying to get better at not being so awkward and making friends. I don't have many friends offline and it gets very lonely. I often don't get to talk to anyone for days or weeks face to face or on the phone. So coming on here and chatting makes my day. I'm just very slow at it because I get nervous.

Things have been really hard. I'm unemployed again and finding it impossible to find work. The curse of not having a car and living rurally. I've got bills to pay that signing on for welfare doesn't cover. When it comes to my family, only my sister has anything to do with me. I hate where I live because I have neighbours from hell, but I'm stuck here. I'm feeling trapped so it's been hard to get myself out there in the world more. And that includes being online and drawing. I just want to curl up and stop some days. I keep trying though even if I feel like giving up. Because drawing makes me happy and I love the people I meet here. I've met some really kind and awesome people ❤️ So I guess I just wanted to moan because sometimes it helps getting things out instead of pretending things are great. Sometimes they're not.

I wish I was a faster artist. I think that's why I'm not successful or find work in art. No one wants my art and it gets depressing seeing people I shared fandom with become successful and develop careers. Like I'm struggling to get people interested in my prints or Patreon. Honestly I'm thinking of deleting my Pateron as I'm not doing great or offering things people want. I don't do much NSFW and my art isn't cute. I take so long to draw and paint it's ridiculous. And don't draw just the one fandom and like to branch out and that doesn't help. Especially as I've landed in a new one lately. I think there'll be a point I'm going to have to stop drawing as it'll be hard to balance that and stressing about not having full time work. It makes me sad to think that but bills are more important and I have to get out of this hell hole I'm living in. I only have myself to rely on in my life. My family or friends won't help me. I get people asking why I can't do something with my art. But you need to be super popular and know people, as well as being outgoing and great at networking to make that work. And I'm too slow, shy and have a weird style for anyone to hire me. 

Sorry, just feeling sorry for myself today and wanted somewhere to rant that's not my poor sister. It's just been really hard for me recently and I'm trying so much to be positive and get myself sorted out. But sometimes you just want to have a moan. Will go try to finish something as I've had a really bad social anxiety kick recently and I've not been online or drawn anything for over a month. I want to draw so badly too.

Sorry for moaning so much.