#I'm having a breakdown tf you want me to do?

[ranbowkng]

His Kingdom, His Power, My Glory

Gary thinks it'll be a good idea to infiltrate the church. A tired priest, with an adorable face, reminds him why that's a bad idea.

Gary smirked as he pulled the hood of his jacket tighter. This plan was genius. Why keep sending cultists to sneak into the church in the dead of night to make a mess of things when he could just spark turmoil in the middle of the day. The best part, they wouldn't kick him out, and they wouldn't know he was doing it. Perfect.

"Morning Father," he nodded, walking right past the priest standing at the door, greeting church-goers.

"Good morning! I- oh hold on!" The priest grabbed Gary by the sleeve, pulling him back slightly, "You're new here aren't you?"

"Ah, was it that obvious?" Gary smiled, fearing that his genius may have betrayed him already.

"Just a bit," The priest chuckled. Gary got a good look at him, he had dark brown hair, and royal blue eyes that seemed to glow. Gary could have gotten lost in that expression for hours, but he had a mission to attend to, he had far more important manners than pretty boys to worry about, "We actually have a rule, no hats or hoods in the congregation."

"Oh? My apologies," Gary said, pulling his hood down, "My old church was a bit less strict."

"No sunglasses either unfortunately," the priest smiled, but his grip on Gary's sleeve tightened.

"Afraid I can't do that," Gary said, "Got a bad eye disease. Don't wanna scare the kids away."

"Hmm," the priest's look was brimming with disappointment, but he resigned, "Alright then, we will keep you in our prayers, but please consider how you're affecting other members of the church."

"Yes, sorry Father," Gary chuckled, wanting to sigh in relief. He would not have been able to explain the peculiar case of his eyes to the priest.

Once he took a seat, he grinned ear to ear. What a fool the priest must have been to believe such a stupid lie. Regardless, the sermon was starting soon. From here Gary would be able to learn just what happens at a church service, and just how he can tear it apart.

As it turns out, there was too much sitting and standing. Too much listening and not nearly enough talking. Too much and not enough of everything, it was mind numbingly dull. Not even the Order would stoop so low as to make it's devoted followers sit for an hour doing nothing with no freedom to move.

But Gary-begrudgingly-endured it. He was certain that eventually something would happen that would be worth it. Then again, if he had to endure one more of those godforsaken psalms! They weren't quite songs, because a song required being good.

Eventually he found something, a payoff. The priest who had greeted him at the door had finished reading the gospel, and he spoke directly to the audience.

"God loves us all," he began, speaking slowly. You could hear the sound of his careful thought between each word he spoke, "The other day a woman had come to me asking how I knew."

This was perfect! If he wasn't reading off of the text then that only meant one thing, an open discussion. And when people spoke without reading off of their source, they were prone to making mistakes. And one slip up would be enough to pick him apart piece by piece.

"So I was open with her," he said, "I have suffered loss, divorce, and failures over and over again."

"Sounds like God hates you!" Gary shouted. As soon as he spoke everyone turned to him. A smirk was plastered on his face. He'd win over the crowd in twelve seconds flat.

The priest just gave him a tired glare before he continued speaking, "Despite my grievances, I still have the privilege of waking up every day. I have a new chance to prove myself every day. And the Lord tells me that I am his child and he will continue walking with me."

"I thought Jesus was the only son of God!" Gary yelled. He did his homework. Well, he read just enough to know where the hypocrisies stood out.

"We are all children of God under Abraham," the priest spoke through grit teeth, "We will be going over that next week."

"Sounds like God needs to close his legs!" Gary's smirk was growing into a grin.

"Alright," the priest took a deep breath, "Let's start over, since you clearly seem confused. I was trying to explain to a woman that God loves her and is with her through her every struggle. And to do so, I used my own life as an example."

"How did you manage to prove it?" Gary said, "Hey! Father! How do you know it's actually God talking!? Are you-"

"Some of us clearly need to start working on our relationship with the Lord!" The priest said, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to calm himself, "Some far, far more than others, but regardless. God is patient and will wait for us until the end of time."

"If God's so patient why are you getting so upset?" Gary argued.

"God is a patient man, I am not," John said calmly, "And that's okay! Because God gives us strength. Strength to overcome any challenge like frustration, or an inability to respect your church leaders."

"I fail to see how-"

"God gives us strength!" The priest spoke over him, "I believe we all have it in us to become better people through the Lord. Amen!"

Gary wanted to speak up, but the congregation seems to have accepted it was time to shut up. Unbelievable. How does a man who looks so pathetic manage to control the situation so well? Oh well, at least he can still figure out the weak points in the sermon simply by listening.

Meanwhile, said priest was glaring at him. A far older priest had taken over, but he still was looking straight through Gary with furrowed brows. Gary stared back, not that the priest could see past his sunglasses.

When the sermon was over, Gary was about ready to collapse. How does an hour of doing absolutely nothing become so exhausting? He would never blame his acolytes for their boredom during a meeting ever again.

He stood, prepared to leave, only to be stopped.

"Excuse me sir," it was the priest. He had gripped Gary by the sleeve, a soft smile on his face, "May I speak with you for a minute?"

Gary tried not to let his confident smirk falter, "Of course! What can I do for you?"

The priest chuckled slightly, "Oh no, I meant at the front. I have a couple things I'd like to discuss with you."

"Ah," Gary said. Had he been anywhere else, there was no doubt in his mind he'd be able to strike down the priest with a single glance, but this was a church. He was already weakened here, but this is where the priest would thrive. And yet, he was cocky, "Well, I don't see why not."

"Good," the priest said, "Follow me."

The priest waited for the entire congregation to leave. He stared up at the stained glass window as he waited to be alone with Gary. Gary kept a hand in his pocket, rubbing over his claw-like nails.

"I can explain," Gary said, "It's actually my first time in a catholic church, I didn't know the proper proceedings for the gospel."

"No no, I have to thank you," John said, "When one questions the bible, it means they simply wish to apply it to their life. I'm glad you gave me the opportunity to expand on what I had to say."

"Wait, really?" Gary said.

"Of course," the priest said, his nails digging into his palms, "Although, I would like to make a request." He turned towards Gary.

"Oh?" Gary raised an eyebrow, "What can I do for you?"

"Take off your sunglasses," John said, "I'd like to look you in the eyes when we speak."

"But my eyes-"

"I am not a child," the priest said calmly, "I will not panic at the sight."

"But-"

"Is that a no?" The priest asked. Gary felt that he didn't have a choice.

"Yes, of course," Gary said, reaching for his glasses, slowly taking them off. He and the priest's eyes never stopped looking on to each other.

"Mmm," the priest looked at his eyes, black with glowing red irises, "You're a demon."

"Nonsense!" I'm a normal human being just like you!" Gary argued.

"I'm no fool," the priest said, "I knew you were a demon from the moment I saw your face. Your eyes are a simple confirmation."

"I apologize," Gary said, "I simply needed information about the church."

"I'm afraid that this isn't your territory," the priest said, "Now I have to request you leave before I exorcise you."

Gary chuckled, despite the priest's clear advantage, "I'm afraid I won't be doing that." He used a clawed finger to tuck a piece of the priest's hair behind his ear, "For you see, I have a new interest to pursue, and I have no reason to leave just yet."

"Then allow me to give you one," the priest said. Before Gary could even process what was being said to him, the priest gripped him by the wrists and pushed him backwards, slamming his back against the altar, "Leave this church. If you come back I will give you a fate far worse than an exorcism."

"Heh, I suppose you reciprocate my interests," Gary smirked, only for the priest to increase the pressure he was using to hold him down.

The priest glared at him before speaking again, "You will not come back, but I will keep my eye on you. When I find your lair then we can...discuss things as adults. But for now, I expect you out of my sight, understood?"

Gary's breath hitched slightly. It's been so long since someone's given him a command without solicitation, "Yes sir~"

"Ah-ah," the priest said, "Use my proper title."

Gary rolled his eyes before smirking, aiming to piss the priest off, "Sure thing, daddy."

The priest's eyes remained unamused. He slid his right hand away from Gary's wrist and down to his throat, "I said..." his grip tightened. Not enough to constrict, but enough to cause pressure, "My proper title."

Gary did not want to admit out loud the things that those words did to him, "Of course...Father."

"Good," The priest's voice was quiet, mumbled only so he could hear. God he'd kill to have that done to him with a mattress beneath them, "Now go on, get out and don't show your face. I expect to be meeting with you very shortly."

"Of course Father," Gary said, turning to leave before the priest could get any ideas about exorcising him.

After all this, perhaps information wasn't the only thing he could get out of the church. This would be far less boring as well.

[ajearthlinggg]

exposing you based on your fav will wood/wwatt song (my longest post)

A lot of these have nothing to do with the song. They're basically headcannons lmao. My Blake Jennings is showing

No instrumental chnt except Rhumba sorry

i started this in June enjoy

EIAL

6up 5oh copout: its low hanging fruit to say you hate cops, and I'm taking it. You hate cops.

Skeleton Appreciation whatever the fuck: Covid RUINED you

Front Street: you like Heathers

Aikido!: how's that obsessiveness and inability to let go going?

White Knuckle Jerk: you also like nu metal for the same reason. (Its incredibly horny)

Cover This Song: same as Aikido but only with your exes omg do not text them they are assholes

Thermodynamic Lawyer: PLEASE take time to calm down when you get overstimulated I promise if you don't do anything abt it you will have such a terrible mental breakdown

Red Moon: YOU LISTEN TO MALE MANIPULATOR MUSIC STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT YOU CANT BE IN THE RADIOHEAD CLOSET FOREVER

Lysergide daydream: I honestly do not like this song at all so you get a pass (don't kill me)

The First Step: you're usually quiet but you know how to SCREAM.

Jimmy Mushroom: you're usually quiet but- I'm just kidding. You're always quiet

Chemical Overreaction: you're usually quiet but if- I'm just kidding. You are never quiet

Everything is a lot/dte: insomnia. I dont know why,but insomnia

Self-ish

self/ish: closet theatre kid

2012: fast talker to a not comprehendible level

Cotard Solution: turn off the v-sauce it is 2 am

Mr. Capgras: turn off the 🌽 it is 2 am

The Song With Five Names: you have incredible taste. You can't describe that taste, but hey, its incredible

Hand me my shovel: you were the only talented kid in your elementary music class

Dr. Sunshine is Dead: you love the smell of cigarettes

TNA

Suburbia overture: BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD BPD

222: your English teacher loves you (you're so goddamn gay)

Laplace's Angel: your English teacher hates you. How do I know? Because you can't pronounce anything (its la-plass-es not la-place-is)

i/me/myself: you have to beat off the fake fan allegations with a stick everyday

Wbtta: hey queen. How are those hyperfixations going

Outliars and hyppocrates: you spell the title wrong every. damn. time.

bbw: same as 2012 but holy shit triple it.

Marsha, thankk you: dyslexia and ADHD

Love, me normally: I get it. I'm not even gonna expose you. You already have it bad enough

Momento Mori: you are just SO quirky! (knives whisper things to you when you hold them)

Icimi

Tomcat Disposables: you'd shove photos of your pets in your friends faces even if they were dangling off a bridge

Becoming the last names: you either have wonderful parents in a happy relationship or your parents have been divorced for years and you will never relate to this song

Cicada Days: stop using self deprecating humor around the wrong people PLEASE

Euthanasia: this song is a masterpiece I have nothing to say about you.

Falling Up: WONDERFUL TASTE. AMAZING CHOICE. NO RECOLLECTION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD.

That's enough: you love Alex g you just don't know it yet

Um its kind of a lot: you either already love Scott pilgrim or it will happen. Its a canon event

Half decade hangover: omg twinn!! I have an addictive personality, too!

(I feel like this is a good time to say don't take these too seriously)

You liked this: ...what?

The main character: you can't relate to the song, you hate yourself

Sdrr: IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON TAKING THIS SONG SUPER SERIOUSLY IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT YDHZJABXV

Bfb: ur just a silly lil guy

Willard!: you're a therian. There is no human explanation to this.

white noise: you love pink floyd you just don't know it yet

Atkf: HOW TF DID I FORGET THIS ONE anyways you get bad habits (nail biting, staying up too late. Etc)

CHNT

Yes to err: you are still waiting for chnt season 2 BC you want to see what happens with Adam

Your body, my temple: I have a strong feeling you have a tummy ache right now

Venetian Blind Man: you love nobody sexually you just don't know it yet (this is a very ace choice idk why)

Rhumba of Death: you LOVE Halloween

When Somebody Needs You: Tyler the Creator is probably your favorite rapper

Live

Trww

Self/ish: You can't sleep if your room has the SLIGHTEST amount of light in it

10-4 6-up: unlike the original, you don't just hate cops, you hate anybody who can tell you what to do (your teachers are probably just trying to do their job. please)

Cotards Solution: you can't sleep without background noise

Dr Sunshine Lives!: You never get sick physically (mentally on the other hand...)

Where do you get off: omg the horniest of the horny. Gerard Way on stage levels of horny. Nine Inch Nails levels of horny. (Or you really like Umbrella Academy idk why)

Aikido: you can't relate to it. You hate everybody

Take a break grab some water this is getting long

Thermodynamic Lawyer: you have gotten kicked out of restaurants because of how loud you are

Front Street: WE GET IT. IT'S BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Wasting away again: I am so sorry holy shit

Hand me my (x), I'm (y): you suck at algebra

The First Step: you wish you could do the AUGHHHHHHHH

2012: severe social anxiety

Mr capgras: literally the opposite of 2012 (live)

Chemical Overreaction: you know so many random fun facts

Fibrodysplasia: I'm not even gonna talk about your mental issues because I will be banned from this app (which is pretty much impossible)

Icid

Cicada Days: you also get a pass fuck I'm so sorry

The main character okay you ACTUALLY can relate to it

Icimi: OMG I LOVE YOU

atkf: you cry every day even if you aren't sad

Becoming the last names: please don't become a Disney adult

Vampire ref: LISTEN TO MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF AND IK YOU LOVE HOT VAMPIRE MUSIC

Half decade hangover: oh my god talk to somebody it'll be okay I'm so sorry

Tsw5n: you love the way he says "what the fuck"

Euthanasia: once again, ANOTHER PASS. IM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU'RE OKAY

Jimmy Mushrooms: You. Me. Marriage. Now.

Laplaces Angel: you listen to LitWTC

i/me/myself: you were trying to separate yourself from the normal i/me/myself fans

The first step: idk why but you REALLY like lemonade

skeleton appreciation day: you can NOT play any instrument

tomcat disposables: you love concept albums

White noise: unlike cotards, you need to sleep in SILENCE

Love me normally: arctic monkeys. that's all I have to say. idk what about them but, yeah

misanthrapologist: GAY QUEER LGBT HOMOSEXUAL FRUITY ZESTY ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER

Falling up: wonderful taste once again please don't become a Disney adult

thats enough let's get you home: you say "YIPPIE!!" a lot

And if I did: god made you shy because he knew if you weren't you would be unstoppable

[deadgirlrolling]

Tf earthspark season 3 spoilers and rant in no particular order

OMG!!@!!!!! THEY BROKE UP!!!!! 💔 listening I ship breakbee and everything but! I'm kind of glad they broke up don't kill me

Ok ok!! Prowl!! Was adorable!!!! I loved him!!!! He was so cute!!!! Especially when he gave Megatron that hug

Poor Robbie!!! His GF was a FREKEN!!! Alien!!! Like what do you do in that situation!!

I missed the kids fr!!!!

Also at first when bee was crashing out I thought Prowl had done something to bee but when it was about the mission I was like oh "everyone knows about the breakup huh"

A lot of relationship drama this season

Ngl thought more Autobots would show up

And!! I loved!!! When Prowl was pressing Optimus about the Terrans, bee immediately fought with Prowl for his kids bee was so ready to punch him just because he was saying that his kids aren't qualified for that job at hand

(What bee really wanted to say to prowl)

Bee: BITCH!!!! Gets my kids and dad's name!! Out yo motherfucking mouth!!!

Also love Dottie and Alex's relationship they are the best 👌

Also breakdown I'm sorry but you don't deserve Bee!! You don't!! He tried to help you!! And you're going to backstab your so-called FRIEND??? (Let's be fr Bee was in love with Breakdown) but I also believe that Breakdown was in love with Bee at one point but he would sacrifice Bee and his relationship in a heartbeat CAUSE HE DID!!!!

Like I said I do like breakbee but let's be honest it's has way!!! More angst than people like to admit

Also kind of sad it didn't show much of Bee and Prowl's relationship cause Bee definitely must have trusted him a lot considering this is connected to G1

Me when breakdown betrayed bee

[lifemod17]

thoughts on 'Unaired EP'

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

below the cut in case you don't want spoilers <3

Nobody's Soldier

THE FUCKIN FALSETTO IS DRIVING ME INSANE ITS LIKE HE LACED THIS SONG WITH CRACK

"Benzos and gasoline" line is WILD (it is so hot for no reason wtf Andrew)

the little break that happens at 1:43 with. i don't even know what that is? like a sort of distorted / reverbed guitar bend / riff? either way, LOVE THAT.

also lets give it up one time for the organ, that is SO GNARLY, YOU CANNOT DENY IT!!!

hearing the live version vs. this recorded one is different, I literally went "OMFG WHAT IS THIS PART" starting at 2:53 when he gets all whisper-y WHY IS IT SO HOT

Listen man, I am a sucker for a good pause, and that pause after the bridge has me UNWELL.

SLOWING IT DOWN for the ending will never not be iconic. you don't see that happening a lot!

the intake of breath on the outro??!! tumblr user lifemod17 is NOT FARING WELL

July

so full of hope and promise and really just about having that thing or that someone to look forward to. The definition of "postpone that funeral"

THE SYNTHS??? FORGIVE HIM FATHER FOR HE HAS SYNTH!!!

"JUST KNOWING THAT'S GETTING ME THROUGH"?!?!?!? I wanna throw up. that is a Tonee-ass line. yeah 'July' is DEFINITELY taking the crown. This is my favorite from the EP.

i WAS right! he says 'prada' because it just made so much sense with the 'wore me out' line.

the whole second half had me in SHAMBLES. the lyrics were already insane but also throw in his soft voice mixed with the FUNKY & GROOVY beat?? I fear it is so over for me (I was genuinely screaming into a pillow and needed to sit down even though I was already sat and also I didn't know what to do with my person so I was just laying there and looking up at the ceiling while fighting off tears. I was SHOOK.)

It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and makes me want to roll downhill a field and pick flowers to give to strangers

Have I mentioned the pen game? Because it is on level 9000. His pen was on fire when he has writing this

B A S S O U T R O GOT ME ACTING TF UP

That You Are

I was not expecting the lyrics to be "that I'd be anywhere that you are". im sorry but that is devastatingly beautiful and rips my heart out brb sobbing

my wig quietly and peacefully ascended from my head.

it's a lot more raw, production wise. the vocals aren't super clean, but I actually really like it this way!!! it makes the song that much more precious, gentle, intimate

Bedouine's vocals NEVER DISAPPOINTS!! She always has a way of transporting you with her music- makes you feel like you're floating above water

I needed to sautee the yearning for this one, its so pretty but hits you right in the feels

The fact that this is speculated to be the contender for the spot of 'I, Carrion (Icarian)' I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN Andrew please do an EP breakdown cuz I need to know!

that little instrumental interlude towards the bridge is so lovely and the entire song really! I think they did a good job of splitting the vibe 50/50 <- I say this because I listen to Bedouine a lot and the vibe of her songs is definitely here. it just really shows that they both wrote this together. its not a feature, its a collab

We're all gonna cry and then afterwards we're all gonna hug cuz this song just inflicted so much emotional damage upon all of us

[deadlysoupy]

if tf one did anything for me, it 1) made me really passionate about optimus and megatron's relationship and made me re-think the entirety of just how tragic the transformers civil war is

and 2) that i adore optimus and bumblebee's relationship even more now

the first one is pretty self-explanatory and i feel like everyone came out of that movie (who is a tf fan i mean) feeling absolutely baddy and insane

but the second one. my favourite iteration is earthspark, so my constant thought is now, compared to "oh my gosh orion and bee are adorable together i can totally see their dynamic" of tf one, is "holy shit tfe optimus and bumblebee are so dysfunctional why are they like this" and i'm just having so many thoughts about them right now

i would make a separate post but i kinda don't want to so here are my general thoughts (not very coherent i just need them out of me)

it feels very disjointed to be honest. it really seems like they wanted to give them a mentor/mentee dynamic but didn't go through with it

optimus keeps sort of kind of worrying about bumblebee without explicitly stating it, they have a lot of awkward moments (especially in early season 1 i noticed), but i can't tell if it's writers not wanting to commit or it's intentional

there are two episodes bothering me. one: episode 23, right in the beginning, when optimus sends bee to find the hidden ghost facility. they have this interesting almost silent communication, optimus only has to say "bumblebee, what's in that room?" and bee immediately knows what to do. the most important bit here, though, is where bee, after optimus warns him about potentially getting caught or killed, says very methodically "i must disavow any knowledge of your actions". and then he drives away, with optimus looking almost solemnly at him

a similar conversation already probably happened, since bee knew what to say to sort of calm optimus down, but at the same time... was optimus worried there? would he have said this had he NOT been worried?

and then there's season 3 (season 2b?). the hate plague. i'm not going to focus much on bee's perspective (that earns another post), but on optimus' instead. he tries to calm bee down, tries to reach him, tries to reason with him, and what gets me here is that he actually cares. remember, this is probably only a few days or so after the whole breakdown fiasco, and bumblebee is obviously still thinking about it. so optimus doesn't get him to track down the cybertronian ship - he's afraid bee might hurt even more. he says "i knew you would be emotionally compromised going into decepticon territory". which only leads me to the same thought: if you untangle all his diplomatic wording, he says he cares. he cares that bumblebee got hurt and that he didn't want him to relive that betrayal again

they are so awful at communicating with each other they can't even tell if they care about one another. which is odd, right? we can tell optimus can tell megatron his feelings, but he can't do that with bee

and i'm just. what happened between them? is optimus emotionally distant from bee or is bumblebee reluctant to include him? why are they like this??? they drive me crazy istg

[wordsvomit101]

As usual credit to Hiki (@shyanimeboi) for this god sent gift they grace me. The amount of lore drops got me feral, it feels like Christmas, it feels like summer coming.

I won't post all of it since it is best that you go support the original poster at here: Hikifans on X: "Here is part 3 of the story. Sorry it was abit of a long wait, was stuck grinding for satans beginner nightmere candy https://t.co/IStdo8f7Xs #whatinhellisbad" / X (twitter.com)

Anyway here is the ramble

True but I don't lust as much as you girl (no problem with anyone that related to MC, she's just not for me). If I have that much sexual drive in me, for more than 70 guys at that??? I need to check myself out for medical attention, or else I gonna feel dread every time the lust comes (it is surprisingly a thing that I saw people talk about on TikTok)

Ppyong is a deadly combo man, he is cocky but also a masochist. His appearance is so my type too

MC being a freak, as usual, you go sis ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

THE WAY I CHOKE ON MY OWN SPIT- Like wtf do you mean?!!!! Why are you doing this to my fujoshi kokoro??!!! I know you want to do it but how do you want to do it?!! Shibari? Choking? WHat Ishb Ittzdhbjsfbnv?!- *Error*

NAURRRRR ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽ MC DON'T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!!!!

ASK HIM!! ASK HIM TO SPILL IT ALL OUT!! I NEED TO KNOW!! TELL HIM TO SPELL IT OUT-

*Error*

So, uh, they show a close-up shot of Juno's chest and he asks if Minhyeok is hard like his and MC is a bad liar, said "probably" and Juno calls her out on it.

And MC actually admitted and said that Minhyeok's chest is actually "wide like this"???

You did??? But then again why am I surprised that she did, they had to be kissing at some point if they stuck together for more than a decade with that amount of tension between them

Ok so Minhyeok played soccer in high school, MC and he are in different classes and they were going to give him back something they lent. But come across Minhyeok changing in the classroom, pretty standard

Yup, he knows, he definitely knows and he is tempting her. Also, apparently, Minhyeok's chest is toned, but flatter than Juno's, his abs also feel different than Juno's...

If you can't tell I'm furiously taking notes right now, someone on the dev team is looking out for my shipper's heart and I wish that person woke up on the right side of the bed every day and had their taxes filled on time, etc.

Woah that has to be some intense session you got there, I awake until 3am before and I still have energy fueling me.

Relatable, highly so, I got deadlines every day during the semester. You think it's fine when you get used to it after 3-4 weeks but then it hits you with a week's worth of exams that you need to finish within that time while maintaining other stuff outside your major, and then combine it with other stuff outside uni (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)

Too high of a standard girl, if I were him, I would already be too high on coffee and delirium to even see what I'm typing on the computer.

I'm surprised he's only tired, I expected some breakdown but then again, it's Minhyeok. The guy built different

Wait that's so cute!!! Awww (∗˃̶ ᵕ ˂̶∗)

Minhyeok sure is deep in his sleep, cause the slightest noise or outside touch would wake me tf up, I will go straight back to sleep later if it is nothing but if this happens it would me start kicking before I could even think

Built like a campus crush and act like a campus crush. If he has time to be good at sports then he most likely be in one of the SKY universities in Korea. If he also doesn't go to Hagwon then that would be even more crazy

Ok rude, you not even gonna clean the wet chair up??? Even if you're my best friend, I would still drag you back to clean the mess yourself cause ain't no way I'm touching the juice that came out of your bussy

THE TENSION IS REAL BOISSS

I know what you are MC and don't worry I won't judge, just tell me how big the file is compare to others

Ok, that is it, love part 3, they feed me a good amount of lores, and thank you again to the heaven-sent Hiki (@shyanimeboi), please watch the full video on their channel. I couldn't do this without them sharing this with all of us for free at that 🛐🛐🛐

Thank you for reading through my fangirling and good days to everyone!

[thewulf]

Hey love this might be a dark request. But one I've been needing however feel free to not write this or write it in a happier version for yourself. Who this fic is with I'm torn between John price, gaz, or aragon lmao. But let's get to it. Recently I was SA. Now I wasn't R@ped. But I was peer pressured/manipulated and intoxicated to verbally consenting to things I didn't want to do. I'm not asking for it to be relived but rather comfort. Everyone always talks about feeling disgusted but I want comfort for the guilt and second thoughts. "maybe it was my fault" "maybe I'm being sensitive" "it's my fault". How I came to terms of it being sexual assault was due to my mother and best friend telling me it was after I came to them about it. I just need comfort you know? Despite my family knowing, like most my issues a lot of things are brushed aside and I feel invalidated, which causes me to seek validation getting me into such problems. So I just need a hug and confirmation that I have someone. Even if fictional.

Have a lovely month hun, you deserve good things❤️🤗

Aww love I'm so sorry that happened to you :( people can be so cruel... but I can certainly write something comforting/sweet for you.

This one is giving big John Price energy. Idk he always seems like such a big teddy bear for the right person. Here's what I'm thinking - feel free to message me if you don't like the direction!

Captain Price has always had a soft spot for you (I'm thinking reader is 25-30 while Price is 35-38). You'd joined TF 141 a few years prior as their tech specialist (kinda like Penny from criminal minds!). You went on missions with them but didn't always go into the field. There so happened to be a mission you weren't required to go on so the guys packed up and shipped out. When they got back Price noticed something off with you immediately. Shying away from him and his usual touches you loved so much. Kinda keeping your head down when he/the guys are speaking. Not speaking up or bantering them as usual.

After a week of your odd behavior he finally decides he needs to talk to you. He catches you after a training session and the comfort insues. Kinda feel like reader has to breakdown and he builds her back up kinda thing. Hella heavy but supppper comforting/sweet at the same time.

Thank you for trusting me with your request! <3

[justrandomayatolover]

!!! Remember asmo saying mammon's a masochist?? What do you think for mammon trying to tell the reader that and blushing through trying to explain what he likes??

I have no idea what you're talking about but that won't stop me >:D

Reader being clueless and Mammon being a mess (lol) 18+

Includes: gn!reader, clueless reader that has very slow thinking

"... dear Diavolo" Mammon whispered quietly to himself, contemplating if he really should tell you, but you are in relationship after all, so he should, right?

Slowly the door to his opened, showing you in them "Is something the matter Mammon?" you asked, clearly worried because it's not everyday that THE Mammon asks you to come to his room in lower case, you thought that he has some demon killing disease or some but... "We need to talk" was what you've heard, does he wants to break up? Surely not, right...?

You slowly sat on his bed next to him, he gently took your hands, made a deep breath and started talking, stuttering a bit in process "I.... Well.... Y'know.... I'm a m... asochist" he had his head lowly, too embarrassed to even look you in the eyes but you on the other hand scrunched your nose, narrowed your eyes and made a 'huh??' Sound, having no idea what the hell was he talking about.

"what's that?" You asked and his head practically shoot up "what do you mean what's that?!" He thought to himself, did he really had to explain it? He would rather hang from the ceiling than explain it to you, but he had to, he started so he needs to finish

"Y'know! Like when! In bed! Come one you know!" His face now completely changed colour to deep red, the same Lucifer has when he's mad aka all the time, but you were still confused, tf is a masochist? Is it like Devildom's vegan? But in bed? Does he eat in bed? And then sleeps there?

So now, three hours later and like 30 breakdowns from Mammon later, after explaining that he's hard into choking and humiliation but as well as edging, you finally got it "oh so you're just kinky?" you asked with a big dumb smile, getting only embarrassed whine that came from the crook of your neck as that's where his face was "..y..you can say that"

Little did he know that right behind his door were his brothers, listening in, holding back their laughter at Mammon's attempts to explain it to you

Lol my bf will read it, hi my boi, I just read the ask again and it was asking for my opinion, well, he's a sub thank you and goodnight

[pzdragon666]

Wavewave week Day 4 - Friendships

Friendship

Tf fic

Ft. Soundwave, Shockwave, Illusion, Megatron

-

Soundwave was known to be very shy whenever he'd suddenly fall in love with someone.

Even back in the pits...

It was the same cycle.

And as always, he needed help this time. With Shockwave...

"/I don't need help./" Soundwave protested.

Both Megatron and Illusion were pushing him to Shockwave's lab, ignoring his complaints.

"Soundwave, every time you have a crush, you always back out and not interact with them. I expected you to be much braver than this." Megatron said.

"《And you literally have a breakdown whenever some other older bots got what you wanted, and this time, we're helping your hopeless aft》" Illusion types the code onto the panel.

As soon as the door opens, the door immediately closes.

Both turned to Soundwave.

"Soundwave." Megatron warned.

"/I'm not talking to him!/" He yelled.

Megatron rubbed his temples as Illusion sighed.

"《It's not so hard! It's fucking Shockwave! He's like- the most nonemotional guy in the face of Cybertron. If he doesn't like you, he'd be straightforward about it》"

Soundwave slumped as she said that.

Megatron hits her helm.

"Don't listen to her. I'm sure he likes you. Trust me, he talks about you a lot." Megatron said.

Soundwave looked torwards the door, feeling a small twinge of hope settke in his spark.

"/Alright, I'll do it. Wish me luck/" With that, he turned around and entered the lab.

"《Can we kill Shockwave if he rejects him?》" Illusion asked her brother.

Megatron shook his helm.

-

Soundwave entered the lab, seeing all sorts of experiments around. He then noticed Shockwave working on something.

He quietly strolls forward.

"/Shockwave./"

He turned around.

"Soundwave. I believe you have something to tell me." He spoke.

Soundwave's visor brightens as he said that.

"/Shockwave: knows why I'm here?/"

Shockwave nodded.

"I got an alert someone trying to enter my lab. I accessed the cameras outside and hears your conversation with our lord and weapon specialist."

Soundwave gulps.

"/what does Shockwave think...?/" He asked, bracing himself for the answer.

"I must say, I did not expect one of my superior officers to reciprocate my own feelings." He said.

Shockwave took his servo, lovking theirs together.

"I would like to get to know you more." Shockwave's finials moved eagerly.

"/Soundwave: looking forward to it/" He squeezed his servo.

-

Both siblings were trying to listen in on their conversation, which was hard.

"《Think he actually did it?》" She asked.

Megatron shrugged.

"Well- he's not running out like usual. Maybe he did it." Megatron said.

"《Good for him.》" She said.

"....Illusion."

"《What?》"

"Get off my shoulders."

-

@chamm0y @kyamo18 @mr-playlist @splashscreenofficial @kiyuu-draws @radiatwave @robomusical @bumblecow @lanth57

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[mystycalypso]

i see u on my account... *poke poke* thought i'd leave a message here...

anyways heloooo ^_^ unrelated but thoughts on trinity bales? and maybe cats? trinicats?

I'm sorry I'm stalking tumblr while- ironically drawing Trinity cats wheeze, hold on lemme just

Nicky gets ambushed by Trinicats (the cuteness is overwhelming) (I'd color it but uh- A. I cannot draw cats for the life of me TvT and B. I have to get Maritza's Entry done (you guys are gonna love her design I promise))

I also have notifications on for like- all the other hn artists on here just bc uh, I am feral for this franchise and all content even slightly related to it (My graduation cap for reference is gonna be either Mr. Peterson and Imbir or the rescue squad kids with the words "Goodbye neighbor" on it)

Other Trinity thoughts are just, I need more of her lol. I'd love an episode showing more of her dynamic with her father or both her parents since the incident happened. Plus the more information I can gather about each of the members the better I can write their late teen to adult selves in rtrb (who- I might redesign the outfit for a little. I was having some art block when I designed her so- her outfit is just her child outfit again and I don't think that's fair compared to how different say Maritza's outfit is, but I needed entry one out before people started asking why I started with two and had no one lol)

I also just want to see how her dynamic develops with other characters, obviously Nicky is at the forefront of my mind for this because well- I need to know how inevitably they do end up looking into this stuff together. But also Ivan and maybe finally questioning his feelings about Mr. Peterson. Or Maritza on why she has to pretend they aren't all messed up from the incident (/j I still love you Maritza) or Finch on why she's... uh

Probably a stand up person and I won't hate her in the slightest (even tho who tf takes pictures of someone having a breakdown?) (Kaydin says I need to stop bullying 13-15 fictional characters ú_ù /j)

Ig if there was anything else, I mean, okay for context I've had several family members with diabetes, type 1 and 2, and, okay have they actually cut like- all sugars out of her life? There are cell phones so I assume there are artificial sweeteners which sure doesn't mean you can shovel down junk food but they're okay in moderation. Plus they don't seem to monitor her school lunch so just like- let this girl have some actual-ish lemonade pls instead of- just highly saturated lemon water, she deserves it

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[absolutebl]

any other high quality bls like itsay?🥲

Okay, to start, none of the below posts have been updated in a while so I would add these 2022-2023 offerings:

Eternal Yesterday *

The Eighth Sense

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us*

Moonlight Chicken

Sing My Crush*

Tokyo in April is

I Feel You Linger in the Air

ALSO, currently airing Unknown and Gray Shelter.

With regards to ITSAY I am not your huckleberry but here's what I got for ya...

And pulling from the "moody arthouse smackdoodle" list in this post about BL's dark side:

Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan 2020 Netflix) - this movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing, it’s a self acceptance journey, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. 

Goodbye Mother AKA Thua Me Con D (Vietnam 2019 Netflix) - like YNEH this is a great movie but it deals openly with homophobia, bashing, family trauma and social acceptance. 

For Love, We Can (Hong Kong 2014) - an indie movie about parental homophobia, light/dark pairing, and (of course) HIV. 

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - obsession, cheating, breakup, reunion, then break up again, explicit. 

Pornographer movie series - AKA The Novelist, Mood Indigo, Pornographer Playback (Japan 2018-2020) emotional manipulation, cheating, obsession, seduction, May/December (age gap AKA younger/older), kink, touch of necrophilia, explicit.   

Method (Korea 2017) - May/December, actor idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but it’s more about the actor cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated this. And I don’t say that lightly. 

Itsuka no Kimi e (Japan 2007 YouTube) - okay this is basically about a college student who saves this boy from drowning and then gets embroiled in his, and his identical twin’s messed up lives. It goes very weird.

His the series AKA I Didn’t Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan 2019) - boy goes to visit his absent father ends up kinda homeless on the beach gets adopted by local family falls in love with the boy working and living with them. Lots of long drawn out glances. 

Innocent (Taiwan 2021 GaGa) - mental health, childhood trauma, actually kinda sweet. 

More on ISTAY et al here.

* are ones that I don't recommend if you have the same taste as me, but I DNF'd ITSAY so, you calearly don't have the same taste

[batsplat]

I’m not sure if this is something you’ve ever done so if your answer is “lol no” totally fine!! But I was wondering if you’d be willing to do a kind of race breakdown of Laguna seca ‘08? Or maybe just of the key moments? I watched it and a) fucking loved it. Truly incredible. 24 laps of these guys within a second of each other like HOW???? Can’t believe that actually happened this sport is so insane. But b) I think maybe I just don’t know enough abt motogp yet but I don’t understand why Casey was sooo angry with Vale after? I get the 4th lap corkscrew send was extremely dicey but like…the rest of it just looked like hard racing to me??? Am I missing something?? And Casey seemed to be racing him BACK just as hard? Even when Casey goes off & falls that wasn’t even really fully Valentino’s fault, I didn’t think? Like his overtake pushed Case a bit wide, BUT they’d just been trading overtakes back & forth, and also it looked like his original push wasn’t enough to make Casey go off but then Casey kind of made a mistake and wobbled a bit further into the gravel? Am I wrong?? What do I not understand yet lmaoooo help me batsplat you’re my only hope <3

yay laguna 2008 enjoyer <3 okay so, full disclosure, somebody sent me an ask about this... uh, quite a long time ago. and it's something I do want to do because a lot of my casey posts keep dancing around how I don't have a specific laguna post to refer back to. AND it's so key to the psychology of that rivalry that you do kinda need to go into the weeds with that race to really get their whole deal. AND it is a race I have extremely extensive notes on, in terms of the build up (which I've obviously already posted a lot of on this blog) and the aftermath, but also for the race itself. so this WILL be posted at some point, hopefully like. this year

the main stumbling blocks have been a) for lap by lap analysis, it makes sense to have a bunch of screenshots. which is finicky anyway, but even more so with tumblr's image limits. just takes time to do - and I've been busy enough these last couple months I've mostly been posting things I write up quite quickly. and b) that sense of... well, it's fine if I do it in my own notes where it's just for me, but if I'm posting analysis in public - even if about four people are reading it - I am deeply, deeply aware of the gaps of my knowledge in this sport. like, I've done my due diligence in that I have read as much reporting as possible about the race, listened to both versions of the commentary I have available on numerous occasions, etc etc. but I've only ever posted sports Analysis online for tennis. which is a sport I am actually an expert in, and feel entirely confident in my ability to analyse as well as anyone. tbh. and the contrast does make me painfully aware of my own limitations when it comes to analysing An Actual Race in motogp, like you can tell when someone doesn't know what tf they're talking about

which is particularly pertinent given that my read on this race does take a somewhat sceptical view of some of casey's assertions, based on all of the evidence I have at my disposal. and I am wary of that, because obviously he would know a lot better than me!! one problem is that casey does lean into rather vibes-based descriptions himself at times, which aren't particularly easy to fact check. like, he talks about being able to read other riders' body language on the bike and just never quite feeling on the same wavelength as valentino. which may well be true, but obviously I have absolutely zero way of assessing that

with laguna specifically, he's repeatedly said that while he DID have a problem with the corkscrew overtake, it was actually a lot of the other stuff that was bothering him too. as far as I understand it, a lot of it's about the lines valentino was taking - which is more about defending than the actual overtakes. I think the main actually identifiable culprits are... first of all. how valentino behaved down the main straight, with casey consistently getting a better run out of the last corner and the ducati straight line advantage giving him an edge in that bit of the track. after having been overtaken on the inside of turn 1 early on, valentino took care to hug the inside before running casey wide towards the outside edge of the track - making it so that any overtake into turn 1 would be quite dangerous. now, it's worth pointing out that an overtake into turn 1 is ALWAYS quite dangerous. the rider consensus on that turn (which is really more of a kink in the track before you get to the tricky turn 2 hairpin) is that it's more terrifying than the corkscrew - very fast and because of the elevation change, you're taking it completely blind where you quite literally cannot see the track ahead of you. one of the truly all time great overtakes in the sport actually comes in 2011, casey on jorge into turn 1 around the outside. it's something casey specifically is just crazy skilled at, to an extent where he's said that HE doesn't find it dangerous because he knows he can pull it off. but it is always a helpful reminder that laguna 2008 was very much an insane guy-off. valentino started it but casey DID respond, and repeatedly overtakes valentino at the most terrifying bit of the track. his perception of what is 'risky' or 'dangerous' is still not exactly in line with that of normal people

the other substantive critique is... well. casey hasn't quite gone all the way on this, but he certainly flirted with accusations of brake checking. which would obviously be quite a serious allegation and it's the one specific thing he said which valentino didn't take kindly to - most of the other stuff valentino just brushed off. again, casey's not gone all the way here.,, and this one also isn't easily verifiable for the layperson. you can definitely see that in the lap where casey crashes, valentino is taking some.......... uh. creative lines, like one of the corners after the corkscrew he does LEAP across the track to a comical extent. it is reasonable to believe that valentino was deliberately mixing up how early or late he was braking to unsettle casey, and something like that might have helped cause the crash. casey at this point was frustrated enough that he was really hugging valentino's back tyre, maybe even in order to try something before the main straight this time. when he almost runs into the back of valentino, he does have to adjust his line and is too hasty in trying to make up the ground again on valentino... which leads to the very slow tip off where he runs his bike from the shallow gravel into the deeper stuff. his mistake, yes, but did valentino contribute to it? and did valentino cross any lines in doing so?

the one thing casey has said where I do kinda call bullshit is him writing in his autobiography that some of the sketchier stuff wasn't shown by the tv cameras. maybe he doesn't feel like they provided the ideal angles, but for the duration of that battle casey and valentino are on screen like. a decent 80-90% of the time. I made a note of every time they switched away from them, and it really isn't a lot - certainly not for any overtakes minus that extremely annoying thing in lap four where casey is clearly sizing up a move into turn 1 and they randomly show hayden's back camera. neither myself nor the commentators were particularly thrilled about that, but it's casey's move and almost certainly the only actual overtake the cameras missed. casey says "a couple off moves off camera added to my frustration" which... this does feel like a bit of a sleight of hand tbh, like buddy you're going to have to provide a little more detail there on what exactly you think the cameras avoided showing. it's not like the tv direction is attempting to stitch him up here - they were eating this shit up and wanted to show every last second of it

in general, this is something that's true of a lot of casey's criticisms about this race: he's talked about it a lot, talked about how much it changed for him, but he does have a tendency to dance around actually making specific complaints. if you're being generous, you can say that he'd get a lot of shit for doing so. but, well, it's not like he's exactly holding back when criticising valentino a lot of the time. if you think he brake checked you, then just say that!! in one of his more valentino-esque traits, casey does have a tendency to heavily hint at a substantive accusation without QUITE spelling it out. it's the same trick he pulls with the suggestion that valentino blocked him from yamaha... which he obviously implies very heavily in his autobiography, but doesn't ever actually say outright. and it's a pretty neat trick in that it does allow certain talking points to get assimilated into popular narratives without setting them up to be fact checked. which is fascinating in its own right and a necessary corrective to the general narrative of casey as a forthright straight shooter who hasn't put a lot of thought into how to sell himself, but it's also a bit annoying if you're actually trying to assess 'the truth' of what happened. please, casey, enough talk about how you learned of the darkness in men's souls on that day... a little more detail, I beg

now fwiw, I do actually think casey is perfectly justified in complaining about valentino's riding. the main reason for this is that valentino himself has merrily confessed he was willing to do anything to stop casey from winning that race - which means that casey's belief valentino was ready to crash them both out was 100% correct. you can quibble about the specific moves, but at the end of the day valentino did obviously go into this race with the aim of intimidating casey. he could have injured both of them in order to prove a point, and I think that is something you can entirely reasonably take issue with. 10/10 for execution, good job on not actually crashing (even though a bit of his bike actually broke during the corkscrew overtake so it was completely lap of the gods stuff) - but that doesn't necessarily make valentino's approach morally defensible. casey's problem, of course, is that you have to say that it did WORK. if ever there was a single race that won someone a title, it's probably this one

which obviously just sucks for casey!! it plays into so many of his issues so perfectly that OF COURSE it's not something he's going to easily get over. and this is something that I do want to discuss in more depth in the actual laguna post, since it's definitely more my wheelhouse than analysing motorcycle overtakes - but my god was the psychology of this race horrendous from casey's pov. and you're flirting with quite a thin line where... I don't want to dismiss casey's interpretation, I think it's a reasonable stance to take, but also what's most fascinating to me is the emotional side of things. where it's less about completely rational assessment of whether xyz move should be allowed, and more about what casey felt - which is obviously also the arena valentino was interested in, more than actually winning the race. that's the selling point of this race: usually, you deploy tactics based on your understanding of your opponent's psychology to win the race you're actually in. valentino's primary goal was to get into casey's head and make him suffer. this was a long-term investment, right... and assessing exactly what it did to casey emotionally, why it felt so awful to him and how valentino achieved the desired effect - that's the really juicy stuff to dig into

there's also something else worth addressing here... part of the issue is that your perception of the racing is going to depend on what version of the sport you're most familiar with watching. a lot of the actual hard racing from laguna 2008 probably won't register as particularly out of order because there's also been a bit of a shift in riding standards in the intervening years. in 2011-12 the three competitive aliens kind of got away with dialling the aggression way, way, way down - just as a group taking a very conservative approach to what constituted an acceptable pass. 2013 reverses that trend, first and foremost because of marc joining the premier class. since then, the amount of aggression has generally crept upwards. there'll be several different reasons for that - rivals having to adjust to marc's level of aggression, the speculation that moto2 as a category was producing crazier rookies (this was a big talking point in 2017 with zarco, who valentino memorably had his issues with), and also technical changes. in the current formula of the sport, it's just a lot harder to overtake - and a lot of the previously common styles of overtaking also just wouldn't really be feasible nowadays. so you've got a lot of block passes, divebombs, shove it up the inside from a mile back (because that's as close as you can generally get to your competitor) and hope for the best... overtaking with contact has been completely normalised - something like pecco's first (?) cut back on marc in jerez this year would have been controversial in a different era, but now basically everyone just went 'good job yeah'

how you feel about this shift is always going to be a matter of personal opinion, and I'm definitely not completely in the laissez-faire camp on this myself - but it does undeniably mean you need a bit of extra context for what was considered 'hard' racing back then. and yes, obviously valentino himself is to some extent directly responsible for this shift. it's not like he never complained about other riders back then, he's always had a stance of 'fine if you can pull it off but don't be an idiot', but he definitely became more uncomfortable with some of the riding by his competitors over the years. which is ALSO a reasonable stance! riding aggressively by the standards of your time doesn't mean you have to take a complete carte blanche approach to all hard racing for evermore. it's their lives at stake, at the end of the day, so I do always feel like people should afford riders an open mind when they're giving their opinions on aggressive riding. even when their opinions vary rather dramatically. one moment that always sticks out to me in illustrating this shift over time is casey overtaking dani in motegi 2008 and gesturing back to apologise for pushing him wide. and......... I cannot stress enough to you how harmless that move looks to my eyes. it does not even register as hard racing to me, let alone something that would warrant an apology. things really have changed

then again, obviously you do have to remember that casey's complaints weren't exactly popular back then either. yes, you can chalk some of that down to favouritism towards valentino - but I've gone through quite a lot of forum posts too, and even the neutrals/casey fans really did love this race and took issue with casey's complaints. the commentariat certainly did - including sources I personally don't view as biased towards valentino over casey. everyone was super excited to HAVE a battle like that again. proper racing had become so rare in the 800cc era that this felt like a real throwback to the golden age... casey was never going to get much of a sympathetic hearing from a fanbase who had gone from the glory of the 2006 season to the dire tedium of 2007. it is casey's misfortune that he not only had an approach to racing that is less appealing to the casual fan, but also just happened to emerge as a frontrunner in a season everyone already kinda hated for non-casey reasons. almost everyone felt like he overreacted after the race and had conducted himself poorly both with valentino and in the media. that's why he apologised for what he'd said a few weeks later when they reconvened in brno, saying it had been a heat of the moment reaction (an explanation valentino readily accepted) - but obviously this is not an opinion casey earnestly held. the psychology of that apology is obviously fascinating in its own right, like that must feel like shit to have to do,,, but it is another bit of important context that gets forgotten about sometimes. it's not that casey's complaints are illegitimate - it's just ALSO likely that his stance has been made more radical by how truly awful the whole experience was for him, in ways that aren't just related to the literal riding. and at a certain point, he kind of needed to make sense of all of this, come up for a narrative for this race to help keep himself sane. if the world thinks you lost a race because you were a weaker person, perhaps you need to tell yourself you lost because you were a better one

all of which will be discussed in a lot more depth at a later juncture! even in this post I've deliberately kind of buried the lede in terms of where I'm at when it comes to the psychology of this race. this IS a race I obviously just have.... so so many thoughts about, always - which is why responding to this was so quick and easy lol, no consulting my notes required for any of it. at some point all of this will be written up with actual sources provided and lap-by-lap analysis. it's such a fantastic little case study for how sports psychology works, like I could write research papers on this thing. love the race, love them both, don't particularly want to side with either of them in their interpretation of this race but enjoy both sides and think they're both Valid. we'll never see the like again

[mariequitecontrary]

2024 TF Reverse Mini Bang Memories Part 1

With the @tf-bigbang discord server closing today, I thought I'd share just a few of my favorite memories during my first community fandom event :)

Not to be dramatic, but this event changed the trajectory of my part in the transformers community for the better. It felt like I was at a 4 month long summer camp! I had so much fun talking to everyone and making so many precious, precious friends that I truly hope to stay in touch with.

So buckle in and grab some boba or your preferred drink of choice, because this is going to be long and sentimental.

A Welcoming Start

I joined at the beginning of April, due to someone reposting the Big Bang's twitter post about how writers were still welcome to join. I thought, "Only 5k word requirement over the course of a few months? Yeah sure. I can do that." Little did I know I'd actually committed to writing a fic almost 5 times that length

The vibes in the discord server started out with a bang (heh). Everyone was immediately kind and welcoming to one another. It was an immediate safe space to be excited, let loose and show our freak XD I loved how ferally affectionate we were with bringing new friends into the fold.

A sketch by @nepetacataria-art perfectly shows this I think XD

The Support and Love Shared

The sheer amount of love, comradery, and support shared with one another was astounding. Almost 200 writers and artists shared tips and tricks and offered advice and encouragement to each other! It was unreal and I learned so much. It truly encouraged me to improve in my craft and even inspired me to want to learn how to draw again!

Oh, and the RECS everyone shared!!! Everyone shared so many fics and art pieces that I am now obsessed with! I have been blessed with a LOT of quality, amazing content that I never would have seen otherwise! My tbr list grew from large to neverending haha <3

Teasing the Artists Before Match Ups

I'm ngl, I had WAY too much fun once the sketches were released to the writers and the secret-authors-corner channel was made. We all OBSESSED over all of the art and fangirled over each one! But we also talked, and talked, and talked. And dropping out of context messages into the public channels for the artists to see was too much fun!

Talking Transformers

IT WAS THE BEST THING EVEERRRRRR!!!!! WOWOWOWOWOW! I loved raving about characters and lore, both canon and fanon! Even when I wasn't a part of the conversation, just lurking and reading what people talked about whether it was AUs, comics, shows, character breakdowns, brainstorming ideas...it was all so cool and so fun. Everyone is so creative and thinking about the sheer amount of fun we all had makes me tear up.

Like, SO MANY plot bunnies were made with everyone! Myself included! Sometimes people would just say a random ass thing and then five others would hop on, riffing against each other and developing that little idea into something concrete and so so JUICY.

Two out of many MANY conversations that I personally loved were the video games x transformers ideas and talking tentacles and transformers in the nsfw channel XD

Writers Panicking, As We Do

It was all in fun, but it was very entertaining and validating to be in a space where we can all stress about our writing, our fics, and approaching deadlines.

The mods clearly enjoyed adding endless fuel to the fire and (lovingly) watched us all scream and run around in a fiery chaotic panic over every little thing.

Streaming

I didn't get to join many, but it was always so cool watching artists draw! I also had a lot of fun streaming Hades 2 with a few friends with it was first released :)

Team 0 - A King Julien Starscream Fic

It all started when Writer's Choice Period began...and the example inspired many of us writers to obsess over this...I'll let the screenshots tell you XD

A King Julien Starscream fic just WORKS and you can't tell me otherwise! @mendely's sketch REALLY sold it to me as a thing that's GOTTA happen.

Madagascar AU FTW

AND THEN THE MODS MADE IT A THING THING

@useless19's king julienscream puppet owns my soul and their little vid is possibly the finest piece of silent cinema I've ever watched in my entire life. I was ENRAPTURED.

@sxpaiscia's art KILLS ME. PUTS MY HEART IN A CHOKEHOLD. Julienscream lives in my head rent free and 50% of it is imagined with their art in mind.

The sad end to the story is...the Team 0's fic wasn't completed within the time requirements to be posted with the rest of the Mini Bang's fics :( Do we still plan on continuing and finishing it? HELL YEAH WE ARE!

To Be Continued...

Did you know that there is a limit to the amount of images you can share in one post? SMH.

Link to Part 2!

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic scenario with TF: Prime's Breakdown please?

Breakdown's fate in TFP was disturbing if you think about it- Not too confident on if I got his character right but I'm trying lol. Darling is an Autobot forced into being a Decepticon in this.

I went from having no ideas for this to having many ideas. Adoring the angst in this. Let me know what you think.

Clouded Judgment

Yandere! TF:P! Breakdown Scenario

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Angst, Violence, Manipulation, Forced relationship, Delusional behavior, Possessive behavior, Attempted mind break, Stockholm Syndrome.

Autobots and Decepticons have been fighting each other for millions of stellar cycles. Those who were once friends were easily pulled away from each other during the war on Cybertron. There was a time you knew Breakdown... before you decided to take sides.

Breakdown and you had been close companions on Cybertron. You two were so different but so compatible. You didn't like the fight... while Breakdown craved it. You wanted to help everyone while Breakdown wanted to go with who was strongest.

Despite differing beliefs... Breakdown still saw you as his close Cybertronian companion. He respected you and your ambition... he even liked you more than just friends. Breakdown held you close to his spark... you thought of him the same.

Then Megatron came into the picture.... Your differing beliefs tore you two apart. Breakdown didn't even get to say goodbye before you were chased away by the very Decepticons he had joined. He wishes you joined...

He wishes he never lost you.

You never left his mind throughout the war. In fact, he encountered you a few times. As he expected... you fell in with the Autobots... and he had to fight you. Breakdown's rival was Bulkhead, they were always matched in strength...

Breakdown was angered even more when he thought of you and Bulkhead being friends instead of you and him being... lovers....

After the war Breakdown didn't see you for stellar cycles. Not until he came onto Earth with Knock Out.... That's when he found the Autobots.

That's when he found you.

Breakdown could no longer just focus on Bulkhead anymore. Breakdown's job was to destroy the Autobots... which he could do.

But he could never break you.

You clouded his judgment. Whenever you met optics he felt his spark stop. He couldn't do this to you... no matter what Megatron said.

You always tell him you don't want to fight him. He can see the sadness in those glowing optics of yours. He knows you don't want to fight him... and maybe you don't have to.

Breakdown still had feelings for you. He was actually grateful you decided to be his distraction for the Autobots. It gave him the excuse to talk to you.

Maybe you thought the same?

The moment he saw you transition to vehicle mode, he followed. Your vehicle form was smaller compared to his but you were fast. Breakdown allowed you two to play this game of chase before he angled his cannon at your ties.

With a quick shot he shoots out your tire. You spin before rolling into vehicle mode. He hears you groan in pain, flinching when Breakdown swaps out of vehicle mode.

"Funny how it's you who chose to be my distraction." Breakdown teases. It sounds too friendly to you though... it appears he hasn't forgotten what you shared between each other.

You probably wouldn't forgive him for what he plans to do next, either.

You don't look him in the optic, scoffing while struggling momentarily to stand. You didn't forgive him. Breakdown could tell you didn't....

"Still a Decepticon I see...."

"You know... I've still missed you after all this time."

"I suggest you can your words. I don't want to hear them."

"You're afraid you'll get attached again, aren't you?"

You glare at him.

"Attached?"

"Don't act like I'm dumb. I KNOW how you felt back then!"

"Those feelings are gone, Breakdown."

"No they aren't..." Breakdown steps closer, causing you to back away with a blaster up. "I know deep in that spark of yours you still love me. You still wish we were together. I chose to follow you here for a reason!"

You give a confused expression, Breakdown stands a few paces away from you.

"If I beat you... I'm making you a Decepticon."

Your optics widen.

"Breakdown what is this nonsense-"

"It's not nonsense!" Breakdown roars, his temper flaring. "Are you really going to push aside how you feel for me, after all these years?"

"You're projecting, Breakdown! As if you haven't done the same!"

Unintentionally going along with the deal Breakdown made, you fight. You fight ruthlessly against each other. Just as any other Autobot and Decepticon would....

Unfortunately you were too caught up in your emotions to realize Breakdown isn't the same weight class as you. While you were faster, once he managed a hit, you were flung into rock.

Breakdown heavily vents, yellow optic staring at your pained figure. He grins confidently before stomping over to you. You stare at him with scared optics as his bulky body leans down to hold your face.

"You hesitated." He smiles. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

You try and get up but Breakdown pushes you back into the rock hole. You grunt and he laughs at you.

"I'm sure I can convince Megatron to make you a Decepticon. It'll certainly be better than allowing you around... Bulkhead."

You can hear the sneer in Breakdown's voice when he mentions Bulkhead.

"Be honest with me..." He tightens his grip on your chin and you can hear your metal creak. "Was Bulkhead my replacement? Did you cling to him when I left? Bulkhead is nothing compared to me and you know that...."

"... was Knock Out my replacement, Breakdown?"

There's a deafening silence between you before Breakdown narrows his optic at yours.

"No. Never. I could never replace you. I've wanted to find you for many stellar cycles. Now... I have you. I don't plan to replace you, I don't plan to lose you..."

He transitions his grip to your arm.

"Which is why you're coming with me."

---

You felt only pain. It felt painful to betray the Autobots... your family, with an oath of loyalty to Megatron. It felt painful to receive the Deceptibrand on your metal, covering the Autobot symbol once on you. The emotional rollercoaster Breakdown forced you on certainly didn't help.

You were always around the larger Con. On The Nemesis you felt out of place. Your loyalty did not come from the spark... it was forced.

All Breakdown cared about was the fact he managed to force you to join him in the end. It took stellar cycles but he managed to reunite with you. Even if it was only possible through your suffering.

"I've never stopped loving you..." Breakdown says to you in private. He gives you a sparkfelt smile and keeps you close in his large arms. "Now I don't have to."

Your turmoil eats away at you from the inside. You feel judged by the other Decepticons. You still miss the Autobots....

The only thing that distracted you from it all was Breakdown. With every affectionate glance and touch... it was your only solace. You really did miss him.

Breakdown promises to love you forever like he did before now that you're a Decepticon...

He's the only Con that keeps you sane now... if you lost him you may just lose yourself too.