#I'm gonna make you the happiest person alive

[ilukavee]

Fond Memories

(page 1-3 out of 9)

[daddypriceugh]

Mr. And Mrs. Mactavish

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I saw that you guys want fluff so I'm giving you fluff :)

I will maybe upload another fic today, if I don't fall asleep (it's 10:30 pm here)

Anyway enjoy this one <3

Tw: nothing just fluff

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Today is the day you've never thought would come. It just always seemed unreal. But here you are, standing in your wedding dress in front of the church door waiting for the music to announce your entrance.

Your nerves are playing wild and your body feels on fire. What if you trip? What if he changes his mind? What if-

"Are you alright?"

A voice interrupts your thoughts. You look to your left to see John Price standing next to you, with a worried look on his face.

" Yeah I'm fine. Just nervous"

He nods in understanding and takes your hands in his.

"Trust me it's gonna be okay. Hell don't worry about him changing his mind, I've never seen someone that wipped for a girl before"  he says while laughing at the last part.

A chuckle escapes your throat, which then tightens again when you heard the music start playing.

"Ok ok no panic (Y/N)" you tell yourself, trying to calm down.

You take a deep breath and nod at John, giving your ok to enter the church. He smiles at you and links his arm with yours.

You tear up at the gesture, knowing that your father would have loved to walk you down the aisle.

John had become like a father figure to you -even though he's not that much older- and you're more than grateful that he said yes to walking you into your new chapter of life.

The heavy doors open and you can see the guests standing up at the sound, all of them turning their heads to see the bride.

You take one step after another, gripping John's hand in yours. Looking around you see familiar faces like your mother and some aunts, but the most important person to you was standing at the altar.

Turning your head you lock eyes with him. Time seems to slow down as you take i the sight of him. Damn does he looks handsome. His mohawk was freshly cut and he wore a new black suit with a red tie.

It may look like a unoriginal outfit, but to you it is perfect.

A smiles forms on your face when you stand directly in front of him. John hands him your hand over and shoots a threatening look. It was the "if you ever hurt her I will personally kill you" look.

Before leaving to go to Johnny's man in honor side to stand next to Gaz and Ghost, he gives you a small kiss on your forehead, whispering "I'm proud of you" against it.

Now it was just Johnny and you. Two people that love each other more than words can describe.

The pastor says the usual things but you hear nothing. You just stare into your soon-to-be-husbands eyes, and you could swear to see tears swelling in them.

The pastor speaks up.

"It is now time for the vows"

You take a deep breath and start talking:

"Johnny, I have loved you since the moment I saw you. It was the way you introduced yourself, the way you saved my ass on many missions, it was the way you held me after my father died and it were the many things in-between. You made and still make my life perfect. I finally found a reason to life and I'm glad I get to spend the time with you. You are perfect in any way imaginable. I love you dearly and I will stay by your side in good and bad times"

Your voice cracks midway, tears streaming down your face. But it seems that your fiancé feels the same way. He doesn't hide his emotions anymore embraces the tears.

It was no his turn and he grabs your right hand and puts it on his heart.

"Dearie, you absolutely make me the happiest man alive. I'm blessed to wake up with you next to me evey day. I can't think of something better anymore. I love the way you laugh at all my stupid jokes that I tell the Lieutenant. It seems that his skull is too thick to understand our humour"

Laughter goes through the room, even Simon chuckles at the mentioning of his name.

"I love everything about you and that will never stop. Even after my death. I love you from the bottom of my heart."

You smile at him and place your hand on his cheek.

The pastor raises his hands and announces the moments you have been waiting for.

"I now announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride"

Not waiting a second longer, Johnny pulls you by your waist and presses his lips to yours. Applause rings through the crowd and people cheer.

The kiss doesn't last long but it's perfect. Johnny then suddenly lifts you up and carries you towards the exit, and your friends and family follow.

Time skip:

The evening goes smooth. People are laughing and having fun. You are currently sitting on your husbands lap after having danced to two songs.

Head laying on his shoulder while you're admiring him, tracing every scar with your thumb.

"And how does it feel to be married"

"Feels incredible my darlin'. Absolutely the best feeling ever" You hum in response looking up to him. He catches your stare and smiles.

"I hope you won't grow tired of me Mr. Mactavish"

"I would never in my life. I promise you that Mrs. Mactavish"

You laugh and move you face to his to meet in a kiss. This time it's more passionate, full of love and excitement for what the future holds.

[mylovenox]

hey! how are u?? sorry if i'm bothering but could u do headcanons of Vance Hopper x Male reader who is like very sweet, kind but also very insecure and sensitive? love your writing!!

have a good day/night<3

Yes sir I gotchu :3

I’m honestly sooo in love with Vance Hopper dude it’s not even funny- Also like- IM SO SORRY FOR IT TAKING SO DAMN LIKE FOR YOU TO GET THIS-😭 I’ve been struggling a lot so I haven’t had the energy to write but please request as my as you want because it will ALWAYS. Get done :3

TW kissing, fighting, cussing- I’m dumb ash so tell me if there’s more

Vance Hopper x male reader headcanons <3

⋆Vance adores how sweet you are, he loves that you’re still sweet and kind even when he’s upset about something. (When’s he not?🥰)

⋆If anyone and I mean anyone. Says anything that even the slightest bit upset you or makes you feel bad about yourself we all already know that persons gonna have a trip to the hospital.

⋆because your his boyfriend? He’s not gonna let anyone make his partner feel bad in any sense.

⋆if he’s ever done/said smth that made you get all sensitive he’d feel really bad. Tho Vance is rude and violent in the movie he still would put his whole life into making sure he never did something to get you in a state like that.

⋆he loves you a lot! You’re the best boyfriend he could ask for!

⋆you guys listen to music all the time together whether it’s blondie, the runaways, kizz, weezer, Joan Jett, The Cramps.

⋆i think his fav song is Cherry Bomb by the runaways. Because who could blame him? It’s an amazing ass song!

⋆Vance definitely likes caramel candy- just had to say that-

⋆again Vance loves how sweet you are. A lot of the time he’ll go to you when upset just to hear your soft voice tell him that everything is okay

⋆he loves seeing your sweet adorable smile.

⋆he loves seeing how sweet and kind you are to others

⋆and ya a lot of people do think your relationship is “weird” because Vance is loud, aggressive and rude and your quiet, soft and sweet

⋆opposites attract 🤷🏻 I don’t make the rules.

⋆if he ever says something that makes you feel insecure he’d feel horrible. He’d be all over you, kiss you everywhere especially where he made you feel insecure and if it’s nothing with your body then he’d kiss your head as a way to “kiss away the thought”

⋆you guys definitely go on walks in the forest.

⋆he buys those bags of gummy’s that have gummy rings in them and he’d take all the gummy rings and purpose to you with them all and put every single one on your fingers.

“My beloved Y/N..will you make me the happiest guy alive and be my husband forever?”

⋆he’d say teasingly and kiss your check/lips after

⋆Vance obviously LOVES dogs. Tiny dogs- big dogs- he loves them!

⋆I can’t really see him as a cat person but at the same time I do….maybe it’s just if the cat is resting on his lap while he does whatever.

⋆one time you and Vance went to the grab ‘n’ go and were getting slushies and someone had randomly pointed at you and laughed an oh boy. They knew what they had coming. Vance set his slushie down and kissed your nose and told you to look away or don’t get close and then went up to the boy and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of him and you had to drag Vance out (leaving your slushies behind😔🤙🏻) and run off to hide because the cashier called the cops.

⋆for Valentine’s Day he got you a teddy bear and took you to grab ‘n’ go to get a bunch of snacks you wanted and then you guys would go home and watch movies all night.

⋆for Valentine’s Day one of the things you got him was matching pj pants which he loved-!!

⋆I see you guys baking to together even if he smashes and egg on your head just for the fun of it🥰🤙🏻 but if that upset you in anyway and made you sad he’d apologize and help you clean it out of your hair before giving you a gentle kiss on the hand

⋆gives you lots of piggy back rides and I mean a lot- he also does the thing where he pretends drop you but doesn’t actually, but he’ll stop if you don’t like that

⋆just cuz he loves you sm :)

⋆he sneaks through your window a lot and stays that night, your caregiver wasn’t to happy at first but saw how happy you were and you guys were also so cute sleeping together. They definitely took photos and there’s some around the house in frames.

⋆whenever he doesn’t come over you guys call alllll night!

OMGG!! This was so cute to make:) lmk if I should do more because I so will 🤗

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari i’m curious do u have kenny hcs

RIKO U HAVE NO IDEA THE MONSTER UVE UNLEASHED.....

i do have some kenny hcs <333 take a seat here's a snack we’re gonna be here for a while 🧁🧃 (THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME <3 this man genuinely makes me feel ill im sooo delusional abt him)

okok so first of all; general hcs !!

he likes art!! loves art!! this one is canon to me i just think he is so interested in any and all of humanity’s creative outlets and ofc art is the most prominent one. he loves all different forms of art — from sculptures to paintings to writing to video games (HEAVY on the latter btw i think he's so entranced by new technology) and so on.

and on that note!! i think he paints and writes himself :3 hes been alive for so long, learned so many languages, there's no way he didn't have time to pick up a paint brush. i think he paints to release stress!! and his styles vary but there's something mildly macabre abt all of his pieces. tends to gravitate towards expressionism above all else, especially the abstract kind.

i also feel like he sincerely enjoys ”bad” art like low budget movies and modern romance fiction and goofy video games…… he just thinks they're fun. def gets a good laugh out of them (this man canonically had a whole comedy phase he just wants to have fun!!)

and and and!! this is self indulgent as hell but i also think he cooks. there's just so much to learn when it comes to different cultures and their cuisine and i think they all interest him. but i hesitate to say that he's a good cook bc i feel like he’d make really weird fucked up food combinations just for the hell of it…. he's a freak. 100% the type to mix orange juice w black coffee just to see how it tastes.

i also hc that he has a soft spot for children, seeing as he literally carried and birthed one of his own LMAO... i just think he admires the innocence of childhood !! that childish and simple hope that adults tend to lose. he's very good w them too!! gentle and patient. and in geto’s body he has the softest nicest voice so i feel like kids gravitate towards him (i'm just thinking abt that One scene where he blows bubbles at a playground and all the kids chase them… they love him i just know he's a regular at that park)

OH AND……. idk if i’d call this a hc exactly but i just wanna see kenny in more feminine clothing. he literally has All the genders i don't think for a second that he cares abt gender norms. one moment he's in that tacky middle aged divorced father core hawaiian tshirt (he's so Me), the next he's wearing a purple floral dress or a puffy turtleneck <33 i just think he could pull anything off.

NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFF……. relationship hcs <33333 hes a whole red flag but hes also my silly pookie bear just trust me on this

FIRST OF ALL he's huge on quality time. if he's in a relationship w u then that means he sincerely enjoys ur company and therefore has a tendency to just bring u with him wherever he goes. otherwise he gets bored and starts whining abt it (silly silly man) hes a lonely guy ok </3 i feel like he gets very sudden urges to explore new places / do new things and he’ll make sure you’re right there w him !! you’ll wake up in his arms only to find you're in a snowy forest or some shit and he just WILL not tell u where he's taken u bc its ”a surprise ^_^” LMAOO

he also takes on a teaching role in the relationship and i think that's where hes happiest !! gets a kick out of it but it's also kind of special to him. especially if you haven't seen much of the world, or if you're just a naturally curious person — preferably both. he just enjoys teaching you new things, leading you towards new sights, drinking in your expressions and reactions. it's precious to him. something to cherish.

ON THAT NOTE i think he has this unquenchable curiosity that gets temporarily sated when he tries to like . Dissect you. see inside your mind. it's like hes solving a puzzle that never runs out of pieces. hear me out riko but i see him as somewhat similar to makima, he's detached and has trouble connecting w people and handles you almost like a math equation….. but since he unlike makima is a human being, i think he still has the capacity to grow to care for you and treat you like an equal (or something close to an equal). he genuinely does love you, but he's rusty. kenjaku just wants to know all there is to know about you — every single thing. he’d dig into your brain if he could, but he’ll settle on just brewing you tea, listening to you speak about your fears, hoping it’ll give him the same insight.

he's a little possessive . kind of a Lot. idk i just think he feels a pang of jealousy when he sees u laugh and have fun w someone else (he's like a preschooler getting pouty bc his bestie is playing w someone else LOL) and that makes him Uncomfortable so he just waltzes in and steals u away w a smooth smile and a hand on ur waist. pretends like it doesn't bother him in the slightest but if u tease him too much he drops the smile and gives u a Look (it's scary as hell so u immediately shut up LMAOO) and god forbid someone else is like… teaching u something… a subject they're knowledgeable abt while u sit there listening happily to their rambling……..... ohhh he gets so jealous it's funny. researches that particular subject in frightening detail JUST so he can correct your little friend and teach u abt it himself <33 weirdo. freak.

also (this is extremely important to understanding kenny's character) he's both mother coded and father coded but in the worst possible ways.

he's mother coded in the sense that he's a smidge controlling, good at coaxing you into doing things outside your comfort zone, an expert at making you feel guilty by acting especially sweet and gentle, has the ability to make you cry w one disappointed look etc etc

and he's father coded in the sense that he's easily offended but pretends not to be, wants to see you succeed so bad that it's almost more for him than you, forces you to have really deep onesided philosophical talks at 2am when you just want to sleep, sucks at voicing his love for you out loud so he just buys a bag of your favorite fruit, cuts them into slices and calls it a day. etc etc. he's awful actually. i need him

but !!! as for more soft hcs i think he's honestly an affectionate guy deep down… like deep deep down but it's there. he just likes having u close. preferably touching him. not constantly bc that’ll annoy him but he wants you to stay near so he can pull u into his lap whenever. loves reading to u while u rest ur head on his thigh, playing w ur hair and lulling u softly to sleep <3333 (it's the geto kinnie in him) AND idk why this came into my mind but i think he likes nose kisses. just bc ur face scrunches up and he thinks it's cute. he can be sweet !! probably.

OHHH AND he loves playing board games w u <33 everything from chess to monopoly. he thinks it's fun + a good bonding activity but it's only fun in the beginning. he's condescending if u lose and petty if u win but he’ll still ask u to stay up w him all night just so u can finish the game (he's insufferable actually) if u decline he’ll huff and play by himself while shooting u petty glares until u feel bad and join him. then he's back to being all suave and calm and mature ohhhh i hate him

he wants to be the mature stoic indulgent person in the relationship sooooo fucking bad but he’s plagued by silly impulses day and night. he’s just good at hiding it. but deep down he is and always will be a silly nerd <33

and finally; i think that in a no curses au he's significantly less of a freak but still weird and obsessive and a lil mean. bullies u just a tinyyy bit and acts condescendingly sweet but he cares for u a whole bunch. probably struggles w showing it in a way that isn't too overbearing or mildly alarming… maybe through writing. poems and paintings of u… sculptures…. just wants to portray the beauty he sees in u (can u tell artist!kenny makes me go a little crazy)

overall hes a weirdo hes a freak (def wants u to kiss his brain just to see how it feels) and he may or may not be a bundle of red flags but i love him dearly <333 hes a silly goose. i want to study him in a lab

[fakesimp]

Celebrating New Years with You

Warning !

Slight NSFW ; Fluff ; Comfort ; Mention of Sex at the end ; Kisses ; Celebration of New Years ; Male ! Character ; Established Relationship ;

A/n : Happy New years everyone !! From today and on, I will use this font..

I hope everyone can read without any trouble now (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠)

And, yes I'm still alive, writer block at it's finest.

➶◜◝➴

You cuddled up next to each other on the couch, waiting for the long waited new year. You don't know how long has it been, you remember when was the day you both decided to declare your feelings to each other. And started dating, you both have went up and downs together. Even fighting, also have been into that day where your relationship is almost cut off from a fight. But, as a responsible adult both of you are, you both talked about it and make up again.

It was truly an interesting experience, and both of you know what to do and not to do to avoid making the same problem again. And here you are, cuddling next to each other. Basking into each other's warmth, looking at the tv in front of you. Waiting for the countdown, you know everyone at in the world are also waiting.

Either they are actually waiting or not, it doesn't matter. One thing for sure is that, you are kind of not ready for the new year. Afraid of what's going to come, to both you, and him. Your Beloved. Also the people around you.

You know, even the closest person you have in your life. Will eventually leave, and you already accepted that fact. But if you weren't, he is there. To comfort you, reassure you, everything would be okay. Even if it's a harsh reality that you have to accept, you know you can't hold onto them forever. Sometimes letting go, are a good thing. People will get something new, in exchange of losing what they have. You lose your closest people around you, but you know that there would be new people that'll enter your life.

One thing, that you are sure about. That is, him. The Love of your life, he's there, even at your darkest moment. Happiest moment. He, is there with you. Going through all of them together with you, you are more than happy to have him in your life. To be in a relationship with him

You look over at him, who was enjoying his time watching the TV, then down to his phone, scrolling through the social media. He felt your eyes are on him, then both of you made eye contact for a good minute. He then smiled at you, as he slightly tilting his head in confusion.

"Hm? What? What is it?" He asked you, not looking away from you. Your eyes widen slightly and break eye contact first with him, you peek over to him and his smile is getting wider. More leaning towards a teasy one too, you pout. Making the male raise a brow at you, smirking. "What's wrong babe? Something on my face, hm?" He asked softly as he scoot closer to you, closing the gap even more than before. "Hmm?? Babe??" He called you out, he then leaned closer to your ear. Only to blow it. Making you slightly jump at his action, you immediately turn your face to him. Planning to scold him, but—

It only resulted, you getting surprised by how close his face is to you, making you slightly taken aback. Leaning a bit away from the man in front of you, only ending up with you laid on the couch him crawling on top of you. Giving you a sly look, "Is this how we're gonna start the new year?" He asked teasingly making you went red all the way across the cheeks. To your ears. "I-, O-of course not! You idiot.." you stuttered, and slightly whispered at the end. Making him stare at you a bit confused, but he then laid down happily on you.

"It's within a minute darling, isn't there anything you want to say before this year ended, hm?" He asked as he mindlessly tracing his finger on your arm. You, that was playing with his hair locks. Stopped for a moment, earning a unsatisfied groan from him. "Hmm.."

You pondered for quite awhile, ... Times moved rather quick, and it's already 5 seconds away from new years

5

You look down at him, he was staring at your arm, staring at his finger that's trailing on your arm. You gently put a finger under his chin, making him look over at you.

4

Both of you stared at each other, with admiration, Love. You smiled at him and he did the same, you gently pull his face closer to yours, gently kissing him from his forehead

3

Cheeks, nose

2

Then his lips, "Love you."

1

Then on that same exact moment the TV blasted a big announcement, saying it's a new year already. You starting to hear fireworks outside, both of your attentions were on the TV and the window. After awhile, both of you look at each other. He looked at you, and slowly replied "Love you too.." he replied with a whisper

He then leaned closer to you, he kisses you, you can tell he's smiling. He then pulled away from the kiss, "Happy New Years baby.." he said and then pull you up. Letting you sit on his lap. His sudden movement made you yelp, but eventually you got over it and silently sitting on his lap. Facing the male, he look up to you. With a smile in his face,

"Well, since it's new years..

Maybe we can go to the bedroom for celebration? Hehe.."

©fakesimp · 2023

A/n : Happy new years everyone!

Let's see what we got this year.. <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

I also wonder if I, can reach 1k followers this year.. (⁠＠⁠_⁠＠⁠;⁠)

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

can u just ramble about your favourite scenes in the arcs? im interested :D

Sure thing!

Tpb: Oh gosh, lot of contenders here.... Let's pick a random favorite....

The Tigerstar reveal. It's so... Cinematic, to me. I'm shocked I've never seen it in any animations! The drama of it, the realization for the reader that Fireheart is gonna have to tell Bluestar, and wondering just how far the new leader is going to go...

I'm gonna have to tie it with Bluestar's downward spiral. A lot of people hated her for it, and I think that's a shame. Stuff like this makes a story GOOD.

Runner ups: Silverstream being a brat but also making an incredibly good point about the Warrior Code, Yellowfang killing Brokenstar, Bluestar's death where she finally gets to connect with her kits, Fireheart saving Sandstorm (which I think they tried to replicate in TNP with CrowLeaf)

Tnp: This one is gonna be controversial, but I actually quite like the part where Leafpool runs away with Crowfeather. Mind you, I hate him, but Leafpool being happy? That was nice. That was the happiest I think we got to see Leafpool in a long time, and the be honest, I... Don't think we ever get to see her that happy again.

Also, just... The 4 Clans together. I loved seeing them finally work together for something that wasn't war. I have a whole AU for the scenario where they just... Never split again. They settle into 4 camps, but without boundaries. Cats go where they want as 1 huge Clan. I love AUs where the Clans fuse!

Po3: Okay, I'm gonna cheat because I.. Haven't actually read Long Shadows or Sunrise. Otherwise I could use the easy way out and say the Fire Scene... But I've never actually seen it!

My favorite scene is all of the ones with the Tunnels from Dark River, but specifically the ones with the GorseBeech kits. I still love Dark River. Perfect mix of slice of life and tension building. I love the darkness and mystery they hold, and how alive the environment felt. The earth was alive and it did not care if you drowned inside it. Also the kittens were adorable and had a lot of personality! It showed Heatherpaw being a natural leader and Breezepaw getting to be a kid.

OOTS: Oof... This one is hard. Oots is getting a bit blurry in my memory... I think I have a tie! In no particular order:

1. Redwillow's death, probably for all the wrong reasons. When I tell you I CACKLED at him getting One Punch Man'd by Blackstar after this dramatic edgy little speech... It was charming enough that I couldn't NOT expand on his character. While he is still getting One Punched, he and Ratscar do manage to take Blackstar down!

2. Dovewing realizing that The Dark Forest is about to attack. It's... Really not clear to me anymore what happened, I don't really remember it well, but I remember how it made me feel. I really thought we were gonna lose her. I can only describe it as "standing at a busy, happy party, looking out the window, and seeing a tsunami on the coast". That "Oh. This is probably gonna be bad, eh?" The battle itself I remember was confusing and a lot of running around while the writers scrambled on remembering how to write fight scenes, and I have my own thoughts on what cats should have went down and who should have killed who... But that might be it's own post. (Bluestar should have destroyed Thistleclaw, Ivypool should have destroyed Hawkfrost, and Brokenstar should have killed Spottedleaf)

AVOS: Okay, keep in mind I haven't finished book one, but... I can safely say that at least right now my favorite scene is the cats eating fried chicken out of the garbage. It's so... Cute! It's the calm before a storm, and Alderpaw calling it "freshkill" made me snort, like, yeah, sure bud, let's call it that. Funny that Sparkpaw had some, as her future son would go on to steal a whole ass rotisserie chicken from a fair. I think she'd be proud.

TBC: I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS ONE. Okay, yes, Bristlefrost's death was iconic, but can we talk about how horrifying the Prologue from The Silent Thaw?

Bramblestar watches his own dead body begin to move, assumes he is going to go back into it, only for its eyes to open, standing up without him, and beginning to speak with his Clanmates...

That right there, those 4 pages, sent actual chills up my spine. The thought of being in scenario is terrifying. Sure, we know from Lost Stars' final chapter that Rootpaw can see him and that Bramblestar's spirit and body are separated for reason currently unknown.... But Bramblestar doesn't know that. All he knows is that his body and mind are no longer one, and nobody knows except for him. That was bloodchilling.

Tbh I think it would have been better to cut Lost Stars chapter 24 completely, and just use that Prologue. Move the VioletTree family meeting to The Silent Thaw's early chapters and do not be afraid to actually hide your plot points.

ASC: Mistystar getting Ratio'd by Duskfur. As much as I desperately wish it had been more emotional.... God it was funny. It felt like a relief. Like... Finally, finally this is over. Riverclan has an interesting plot, a potential murder mystery (that later became a real murder mystery and then... Yknow).

I think another scene is The Curlfeather Reveal. Look I know the writing for it is sloppy, but the way it describes her looking calm and peaceful, speaking as if she's talking to one of her beloved children... WCR!Curlfeather was written with the song Brutus in mind. Elegant and brutal, and I wanna make sure she lives up the the image that much better done comics and fanart.

[gentle-author]

Uhh, I ('ll always) love rain.

I love how the clouds dance with the stars and transform into heavy pillows every night (like my heart trying to hug my soul).

I love the sound of the raindrops falling gently at the ground contributing to the smell of freshly washed (green) grass all around (the court).

I adore each kind of tremendous, aspiring lighting, as its chaos makes my mind less noisy (unlike my chats).

I adore every aspect of a storm, 'cause it helps me move on from the remains of myself (leaving me behind, wondering how and why, having a faint smile, probably making me cry).

I used to pray for some rain (pray to call you mine).

Used to call "lucky" everyone who lived in London (and the United States).

I was always feeling utterly happy every time a teardrop from the sky (not my eye) touched the (wet I hoped) soil.

Feeling completely calm just by admiring the fascinating raindrops having a race on my window (guessing which team's about to win).

Finding peace (in your arms, making my heart skip a beat, adding a few dreams to my nap).

Today, it rained (!?).

It hadn't rained in ages (maybe a few months).

Anyone who knows about my existence would claim that I should be the happiest person alive (and I am, mom).

My wish finally came true (simply like that).

Question is... Did I actually feel happy about rain this time (or not)?

The answer is (wait, stop)...

No(-).

Ever since I met you, something (a lot) changed in me.

I met you and you managed to change me (how come!?).

And I never change (not like that).

I'm stubborn (guess I am).

I can't tell how you managed to do that, but ever since I met you, I've never been happier (never in this world).

I used to hate the sun (God, I wished it just disappeared).

You utterly adore it (fun fact that-makes me laugh).

And now, I find it pleasant (perfect) too.

I can't tell how or why, but ever since I met you, I knew that you're either gonna be my everything or completely nothing (same goes with the sun).

Looks like we're hopping on the first situation (praying to stay like that).

And I don't regret it (calling me yours is all I have).

Instead, I thank it (yes, I am).

I thank you (with all of my heart).

Thank you for making me a better person (giving a meaning in my life).

Thank you for making me face my fears (and tears) straight in the face.

Thank you for declining all the taboos I've (ever) had for myself.

Thank you for being my alter ego (my other half).

Thank you for being you (my favourite person).

But most importantly...

Thank you, not because you made me love the sun (I used to hate), but because you made me fall in love, not only with you, but with me, (too).

Falling in love with (our) life.

Falling in love with us (my love).

Copyright © 2024 Christine Aggeli. All rights reserved.

[sushisocks]

HAPPIEST SEAN HEADCANON AND SADDEST SEAN HEADCANON???

OOOHHHHH ANON, WE ARE IN IT NOW!!!! Good question, good question indeed!! I shall answer to the best of my ability!!!!!

I'll be frank, I had a harder time thinking of my happiest HC than my saddest one, and IDK what that says about me lmaoo but here we are!!

I have a lot of happy HCs for Sean!! The trouble was picking out my happiest among them, bcz some are more silly/funny - like a happy memory or experience I think he would have! - while others are more like. this is something about him which I think is a good/happy thing and that makes me happy. So I'm gonna go with the latter one here, just bcz the red thread of this post will be more cohesive that way njhbjnnbh

So, the HC which makes me the happiest, is supported by a lot of canon, and an aspect of Sean which initially drew me towards him. And it's his genuine interest in people, and his appreciation of them!! I think, despite absolutely having been somewhat disillusioned by the world at large and the oppressive systemic powers which rule it, Sean meets the individual human with incredible good faith!! By that I mean, I think he does believe he has common ground with most people, just by virtue of being alive and surviving in the world, and that is just his approach to everyone he meets in life. There is a sincere sense of empathy and good will in him, and he's not above being proven wrong or staying stuck in a bad opinion of someone. Not that he's above disliking people (we see this clearly with Micah lol), it's just that he's the type to be willing to sit down and have a drink and conversation with almost everyone and anyone.

THAT, to me, says an incredible amount about what Sean thinks of humanity at large, and is why I have this HC of him. And I, personally, as someone who also likes to believe in the good in people and meet them with good faith, have always found this quality of Sean's very appealing!! So it makes me happy to think about, that his exuberance around others actually runs that deep!!!

My SADDEST HC is pretty easy to pick out, as the core of a lot of my sad Sean HC's & thoughts come from the idea that he has self-esteem through the damn floor, similar to Arthur, which he deals with differently - desperately seeking to disprove those thoughts and ideas in what ways he can. It's about him putting out so much affection into the world in the hopes of receiving just a little bit back (and still never expecting it; accepting rejections and unkind comments easily and with a smile because that is what he expects), it's about his need to be friendly & on speaking terms with everyone in camp (save those whose regard he deems unneeded; Micah, and Kieran before realizing he's a victim to circumstance, remedying his approach to him accordingly) and how QUICK he is to step back and try to fix the situation when he realizes he's offended someone in camp.

I think Sean has always read to me as someone who struggles to not only sit still, but to sit with himself, with his own thoughts. Because, how long do you think it takes for him to start spiraling? How long does it take before he starts wondering if there's something he could've done to save his father - starts blaming himself for Darragh's death? How long before the things he was told in reform school - about his intelligence, his worth, starts rearing its head again? It all comes down to a low sense of self esteem, I think, which he seeks to not let himself get stuck on. And that drives a lot of my other sad/angsty Sean HCs, lol!

Thank you for this ask, anon!! It was a lot of fun to think about, though it def took me a lil while to settle on either!! I hope you enjoy my answers ;;w;;

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

Hi so I want to just say for anyone who's not aware, Jace Beleren is this mindmage (psychic magic) from Magic the Gathering. He is like 14 different neuroses stuffed into a blue cloak (the same one he's been wearing since he was like 17). He frequently fucks his own memories up via his mind magic and gets himself into situations that are unbelievably bad for no reason

This man was handcrafted in a lab somewhere to be my blorbo. My ADHD-addled, forgetful ass full of baggage LOVES everything about him

When he was 23 or so he got involved in a multiverse-wide smuggling group bc a half metal man named Tezzeret promised him he'd get real strong if he helped him. Then said half metal man proceeded to beat the shit out of Jace every time Tezzy's plans fell through, including the time Tezzy tried to make Jace protect his mind from a 25,000 year old elder dragon

Tezzy carved jace up with a special dagger that's literally designed to wound your soul and bonds to magic and then told the rest of his snuggling cult to ignore jace bc it was punishment. He bled into his own bed for like two days before his best totally straight friendship only friend in this hellhouse named Kallist came in and was like hey, Jace, gtfo and get help. I'll cover you

Jace attempted to escape Tezzy's fucked up consortium like half a dozen times only to get dragged back there after getting hung up on a hot goth gf who unknown to him turned him and Kallist into the consortium. Kallist lived in Jace's brain for a little while before oops, Tezzy's goons killed Kallist

He ended up beating Tezzy by using the fucked up evil dagger against him and wiping his memory but only after being tortured in a magic-less prison cell for months on end with literal flamethrowers (courtesy of a mage who just stood outside the no magic zone and shot fire at him)

He helped another elder dragon seal the aforementioned 25k year old one away in a prison realm. He, the guy who regularly wipes his own memories, is the only person alive who knows about this

He's also probably the only person as it stands to know an eldritch abomination is trapped in some plane's moon. Bc the other person who knew got evilized by fucked up disease machine people

That fucking cloak? He refused to take it off once even when he was like actively getting heatstroke in a desert and hot goth gf was telling him he was gonna fucking die

He lost all his memories once and fucked around playing pirate with a hot gorgon gf for a while. That was probably the happiest time of his life, not knowing anything

He has explicitly referred to his mind magic with "Ah yes and my mindmagic which has done nothing but get me reamed over and over again for the past half a decade" or something along those lines. He basically very politely said "my mindmagic gets me fucked in the Ass constantly and I am fucking tired of it"

He broke up with hot gorgon gf bc they were both secretive messes and Jace needs like all the therapy but he can't get it bc he hasn't found a therapist planeswalker yet

He's so pathetic in an endearing way and he's been through so much trauma but also he's fucked up so many times in ways that were entirely self inflicted. He became basically dictator of a plane once on accident, giving him near absolute magic over everyone from that plane. He used it to put an evil cop sphinx in permanent timeout on an island on the place where he was being a pirate for a while

I fucking love him. I'm so normal about him guys I'm so normal

[firstdivisiongirl]

OH MY GAH HIIII !! I SAW THAT YOU DO MATCHUPS SO I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD A REQ FOR THAT BUT W TOKREV CHARACTERS ??? :DDDD i dont mind anyone tbh so dw abt choosing :33

ok i'll just drop some background info abt myself here :33

i'm aromantic + nonbinary, i am an entp 7w6 and i'm a pisces !! i like to draw, listen to music (either metal or just mainstream music i listen to whatever atp) and dance in my freetime !! :3

based on my personality ::

my friends tend to tell me that i'm the embodiment of the quote "dont judge a book by its' cover" cuz on the outside i act like a full on metalhead and really passive aggressive but at home i sleep next to a whole tower of plushies 💀🙏 and i collect stickers of silly little cats and otters (not my fault that they're so cute oml) i'm usually the clown of the group !! i tend to be hyperactive but my emotions change a lot- one second talking to me is like trying to get a toddler to pay attention to your teacher and the other is like trying not to get bitten by a rabid dog (my friend's words not mine). i tend to be a loud mouth srry . . . i do try to be quiet if necessary but if i get excited when talking i am a walking speaker . . . i get rlly excited if my favorite things are mentioned ?! like i would get rlly happy, smiley and would talk about it until i forget to breathe !! i like to consume horror media ?? idk if i can say that without sounding like an edgelord sobsob im sorry . . . i just love consuming those types of media (as a former kid w unsupervised access to the internet-) and i tend to ramble abt them along w other philosophical topics !! i like to discuss abt meaning of life, whether there are other universes, abt the capabilities of the human mind, etc. they're just so interesting!!! :] i guess im proud to say that my best trait is my humor 😋 maybe im overconfident abt this one cuz i just have pretty dumb sense of humor if im being honest frfr i tend to say things out of context . . . i like terrorizing my friends by saying the most outrageous things and overexaggerating them for the fun of it :333 though sometimes i kinda mean what i say

for my ideal partner ::

i'd say i would like someone who's fun to be around but at the same time they gotta be interesting for me to find them fun . . . like they gonna have smth to them that makes me wanna observe them like they're a lab rat being experimented on and being put under observation :33 ppl like that make me wanna see whats inside them and how they see the world around them !! i just love those kinds of ppl aaaaa ik im overdramatic for this one but like . . . i need someone who can handle me- as in my emotions and sometimes my way of loving . . . cuz if i did love someone, i would obsess over them and would dream of dying w them out of euphoria cuz being w my partner is the only thing that keeps me alive and human 😞 i wanna feel genuine happiness and pure bliss w my partner so thats why after that i think we should die together, that way we both know that finally we lived our life to the fullest (in my pov, 'the fullest' means you finally reach the climax of ur happiness/u live to the moment where you're the happiest you've ever been) (idk if that makes sense but that has always been my fantasy LAWD IM RAMBLING) need someone whos as crazy as i am :333 if he aint insane i dont want him fr i need to make him worse /j

i think thats all abt me :333 pls take ur time and make sure to put urself first btw !! aside from that, its ok if you ignore this one cuz at the end of the day its up to u <333 have a wonderful day/night mwah you're super cool

Hello! Of course you can have a matchup. Thank you for the kindness. I would like to warn you that I picked a somewhat controversial character. I hope you like it!

You Got...

Tetta Kisaki!!!

If boy can handle the chaos the is Shuji Hanma, he can handle you!

You wanted crazy...

Would love to see you smile when you get super excited about something! His favorite thing is to see the person he loves happy.

He is really really smart. So you would have very intellectual and philosophical discussions.

Would love that you aren't all you seem. Because he is the same way. You two can be badasses when out, but totally different when it is just the two of you (and Hanma sometimes when he is being Hanma and not leaving you all alone.)

Movie date nights. He'd let you pick it. If you're happy, he's happy.

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers

Tagged by @numinousmysteries! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

493,156

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The X-Files, pretty much exclusively.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

By the Dim and Flaring Lamps

Ripper Weather

She's Beauty, She's Grace

Between Sorrow and Bliss

Someday Your Child May Cry

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do if someone has a question, or if someone comments on the way I've written something in a way that makes me feel like I should explain the choices I made (biggest example was a commenter on BtDaFL who seemed to be viewing the story through a modern lens without taking the time period into account). I wish I did respond to every comment but honestly I get so in my head about it that I end up paralyzed most of the time. But I absolutely read every single one and return to them frequently, especially when my self-confidence is ebbing.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably the short prompt where I gave elderly Mulder pancreatic cancer?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of mine have happy endings but By the Dim and Flaring Lamps was probably the most unambiguously happy since everyone who dies in canon- Melissa, Samantha, Ahab, Bill and Teena Mulder- are all alive and well at the end of it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? There was some out-of-the-corner-of-their-mouth sniping about Pequod (not to my face), but it was clear that person didn't understand how character arcs work. Someone sent an anonymous message that BtDaFL was boring, but lots of people find historical fiction boring.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Only if it fits into the plot of the story, and only if I can make it match the overall tone of the fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have one short Doctor Who crossover on AO3. I also have a Harry Potter crossover where William is a wizard and a wizard friend of Scully's secretly adopts him when she finds out Scully gave him up because she recognizes the phenomena happening around him, but that's never seeing the light of day while I'm still alive.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to the best of my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked if they could translate one of mine into Russian but I'm not sure if they did or not.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Always gonna be MSR.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

That ballroom dancing lessons one is languishing and I doubt I'll get back to it anytime soon, mostly because I have no idea what the rest of the plot was going to be.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, plot, and distinct original characters, I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not very good at making my words beautiful or lyrical. I'm in awe of authors like @aloysiavirgata, @leiascully, and @slippinmickeys whose styles are so fluid and lovely. I feel like mine is often very matter-of-fact and clinical.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've had to do it once or twice.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote something about The Land Before Time when I was in elementary school, long before I knew what fanfic was.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably But Always Together.

Tagging @leiascully and @mldrgrl if they haven't done it yet!

[pankowkisses]

Hii this is day 2 of Juby week thank you @kraekat29 for letting me participate 🫶🏻

JJ’s P.O.V

One thing that makes me the happiest man alive is my beautiful girlfriend ruby she will never know exactly how much she means to me because it's not even possible to explain how much she means to me if the world was collapsing all my mind would go to is ruby weather she knew it or not she was my whole world, my soulmate ,she’s the girl that can either break my heart or bring it back to life , the girl I can't ever live without, the girl I want to marry and have kids with..

Whenever she's around my heart speeds up, my eyes are always on her she doesn't know how much she affects me in more ways than she'd ever know , she's been here for me through thick and thin she was the one I'd run to when things got bad at home... she is my home that explains why I was in the kitchen watching her while she bakes cookies , every now and then I'd steal some of the cookie dough and she'd scold me which just makes me laugh even more , these moments like this are some of the most precious memories I've ever created I hope that we'll create many more memories in the future... in our future together

Me stealing the cookie dough was moments That was moments before she walked up to me kissing me we got in to a heated make out session which lead to our current situation with her naked body laying on my naked body , trying to catch our own breaths until I speak up.. " well I don't think them cookies are gonna be cooked now" I chuckle as she giggles hitting me softly on my chest before saying "I bet you enjoyed that more then you would have enjoyed the cookies" that just makes me smirk flipping us over my chain dangles down in front her face she leans up kissing me flipping me over takes me off guard

"As much as I'd love to do that again your forgetting that John b & sage are coming over in.." she says and looks at the time on her phone "ten minute"

"Oh shit" I curse as she kisses me once more her hands on my neck , her touch is like electricity, that electric touch she holds over me is undeniable, it makes me forget about John b and sage

She pulls away standing up as I look at her she's perfect ,her eyes, her body , her hair , her smile , her personality, heck even her angry side is amazing this woman will literally be the death of me and I'd thank her for it

"Okay as much as I'd like to stay here kissing you I don't really want my brother to walk in on that" she chuckles which makes me laugh ,  we both quickly get changed in record timing we're back in the kitchen acting as if we didn't just fuck on the couch, I'm laughing at something she said as the door knocks ruby looks at me smirking as she mouths "that was timing" I laugh and walk to the door I open it I see John b and sage standing behind it, I greet them as they walk indoors , they greet ruby while I'm closing the door they walk into the living room and sitting on the couch, I look to ruby who's smirking at me I just chuckle slightly and shake my head before going to join the others in the lounge..

[cornerofhell]

A small BarclayPierce writing based on @streets-in-paradise 's prompt

"-And then he locked me in the padded cell. The cops didn't think I did any of the murders so they let me out..."

Nica and Andy sat on the porch of the cabin in the woods, sharing stories as they watched the sun set in the cool October air. Nica had just gotten off the phone with Gigi, Tiffany was gonna die hopefully painfully, it just seemed like things were getting better... By telling sad stories.

As Andy finished up the tale of when he'd seen Nica possessed, he stared out into the wilderness, the orange leaves blowing by with a fierce wind. He originally was trying to avoid telling said story, but Nica had pressed him for it.

Nica sat in silence for a second, taking a drag from her cigarette before setting it down with her prosthetic. "You didn't hesitate?"

"For a second as he talked to me, I did. I didn't even know you were alive, throughout the years when he hunted me down I never really had an idea of what happened to the other person. I thought he was just fucking with me because it was well...."

"Just my body?" Nica finished the sentence with a dry chuckle, looking over at the man in the lawn chair.

Andy nodded, taking a sip from the beer bottle in his hand. "I guess I assumed you were already dead and he would just ruin your life more." "Yeahhh." Nica nodded, looking back out to the afternoon air.

The silence spoke for itself. They both knew how much Nica had been screwed over by Chucky and Tiffany both, it didn't have to be re-explained.

The quiet seemed to go on for hours until Andy finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

Nica looked confused before realizing and automatically opened her mouth "Andy, no, it's okay-"

"No! I was there to save you- I thought I could save you, and I failed. For a long time, years. Your trial, your possession, everything with Tiffany, you needed someone. Someone who knew... And I wasn't there... I... I'm sorry."

The woman listened to every word of the man's apology, a sad look upon her features. But she understood... The guilt of who you didn't save us always there. Gently as she could, she rested one of her hooks atop Andy's hand. The bearded man looked up at his roommate, his remorse spread all over his features. He hadn't expressed emotions a lot due to holding it all in, but this time it was coming out a bit.

"Hey... This isn't your fault. None of it is. You shouldn't even be going through this bullshit in the first place, neither of us should. And you tried anyway. That's helping enough. To know someone was willing to take down that son of a bitch and crazy bitch to help people is victory in my eyes." Nica pointed at him with her other hook, "And even then... Andy look around. You did save me. This is the happiest I've been in a while. You haven't failed a damn thing yet."

Andy blinked a little in surprise at the speech he was given. The guilt was still there, as it always would be, but the words had a small comfort to them. Nica was happy here? She felt... Safe? Was that.... All he could do now? Make her feel safe?

"... I'm uh, still pretty sorry, but I'm glad you... I'm glad you're happy."

Nica nodded and smiled a little bit, leaning back against her own lawn chair, removing her prosthetic from Andy's hand to give him space. Andy too leaned back as they watched the last of the sun's rays disappear. The quiet was back.

"Yeah... Though... I would be happier if you learned how to cook." Nica gave a small tease, a sly smirk on her features, referencing their dinner of fruit loops.

The Barclay gave a snort of a laugh in reply to the tone change, using his beer to point in her direction. "Sorry I didn't learn like Gordon Ramsay in military school."

The Pierce let out a laugh- the first in a while, picking up her cigarette. "Maybe it's my time now to save you, then."

"Maybe."

[sig-nifier]

twenty questions for writers

thanks sm @swifty-fox for the tag!! i love things like this.

tagging @magneticghouls and @onyxsboxes and literally anyone who fancies it

how many works do you have on ao3?

33!

what's your total ao3 word count?

155,902

what fandoms do you write for?

whatever tf the current fixation is. i've written for rooster teeth, our flag means death, buzzfeed unsolved, masters of the air, the eternals, and challengers! currently got a slow horses fic in the works :))

top five fics by kudos

i like the way your words taste - a fluffy druig/makkari oneshot with 860

wild things - a western gale cleven/john egan au with 849

the art of consumption - a smutty art/patrick fic with 780

make you feel alive - another gale cleven/john egan oneshot with 633

hitchhikers - a serial killer ryan begara/shane madej au with 485 (the first multichapter fic i wrote that got me an audience it was wild)

do you respond to comments?

ofc! i try and respond to every single one with at least a thank you

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

a fic called stay with me, which ended in MCD.

what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i end most of my fics happily!

i think the happiest is probably wild things. everything works out for the better in that one

do you get hate on fics?

i dont! very grateful that everyones always so nice, makes me feel like the are you winning son meme

do you write smut?

i used to never write smut but something this year just had me writing so much of it and whilst it feels mostly awkward to write, people seem to like it!

craziest crossover?

i've never written any kind of crossover, and i don't like to read them either. i guess MOTA in the western genre is the closest i'll come.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

also nope!

all time favorite ship?

ive been in fandoms since i was like 12, there's no way i can pick an all time favourite. it literally just depends on what im into at the time.

i really like inej/kaz from six of crows. i think scully/mulder is great. hannibal/will. ellie/dina. willem/jude.

off the top of my head i would say i'm most fond of the tenth doctor/rose. that one gets me.

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i'm really starting to doubt my ability to finish seven miles out of freedom town. im gonna try my best but the hyperfixation has moved on and it feels more like a chore than something im enjoying rn. im really sorry to anyone that disappoints, it disappoints me too, cos wild things was genuinely some of the most fun i've ever had writing fic and interacting with a community. i'll try and get it finished, it might just take me a while.

what are your writing strengths?

i think im pretty good at dialogue, making it sound like something a real person would say.

i think im fairly decent at dramatic writing, at making things sound flowery and poetic and theatric. thats my favourite way to write.

dont think im too bad at characterisation most of the time.

what are your writing weaknesses?

i suck at worldbuilding. i think its boring and i dont care for it, i just want to write about the characters. planning bores me. i just write things and go back and fix inconsistencies later.

wild things is the most effort i've ever put into a world. i was googling locations like a mofo to make things accurate.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i think its great! one of my favourite fics has a character that speaks french and he uses it to tease other characters who don't know what he's saying. its done so beautifully.

first fandom you wrote in?

if we're talking actual first fandom it was probably one direction or creepy pasta when i was like 13.

the first fandom i ever wrote for seriously was buzzfeed unsolved in 2018.

favorite fic you've written?

im very proud of washed clean, an angsty oneshot about gale/john. i really like the writing in that one.

i dont think i can pick a favourite, i have like three. hitchhikers and the axeman of new orleans were my starting points and really showed me the joy of writing fic that other people were going to read. i had a lot of fun writing those and i love me some dark themes.

wild things consumed my every thought for like, the 11 days i was writing it. ive never been so obsessed with one of my own fics before, it still blows me away how well it was recieved and i met some great people through it so im eternally grateful for that.

yeehaw, y'all.

[fexicoded]

just saw your recent post. the grief is hard and i feel the same way. i could just be carrying on with my day but i get reminded that he’s gone and all the anger, sadness, and guilt rushes in.

while i never knew him personally and i am a fan of his, i would like to think that he would want everyone to remember him in his happiest moments. that brings me comfort. it’s easier said than done but i believe we can eventually get to a point where we can celebrate his life and art. we can keep his legacy alive by talking about him in every context. i just hope he and his family find peace in all of this.

(this was also me venting too lol sorry)

I really appreciate you responding to my post, I was not expecting anyone to cause I was venting in the tags but I've always loved having anons in my inbox in general but also helping us all during this awful time.

But yea, I agree with you. I'll be going about my normal fucking day and doing what I need to do to move forward in my life and then have it hit me that this guy that impacted me, even tho I didn't know him, died and I'll never get to see him make an impact or grow from the pains he was dealing with at the moment.

And I do agree, he would be so fucking pissed we were being sappy and sad all the time and a bit embarrassed and yet geeked at the outpouring of love for him. I do feel like I can say I'm happy to have gotten to the point in my grieving that I've accepted what's happened and yet I can't say I do accept it... grief over a celebrity is tough and the parasocial relationship doesn't help either.

TLDR: I'm still here, I still grieve Angus and will for a long time, and idk where I'm gonna go with this account, my writing, etc.

[mintedwitcher]

Okay, I'm not gonna lie, some of the opinions I've been seeing about The Giggle are... getting to me, so here are my thoughts:

(ETA: not including any of my thoughts about the Master because this got WAY longer than I expected it to and if I talk about the Master on this it'll become an essay.)

"It's a repeat of Tentoo!" No, it isn't. Not even remotely. The bi-generation was a release of trauma. A release from all the guilt and pain and anguish that the Doctor has been suffering (even more so lately) ever since he started running. The bi-generation was not "lol let's just throw in a double for old times' sake!", it was about healing. It was about growth, and comfort for a heavily traumatised character.

Tentoo was a genetic mishap that never should've existed, and only came about due to unusual and rare circumstances, and ended with devastating consequences. Tentoo added to the Doctor's trauma and guilt, because that's another genocide under his belt, under his name. That's another person - and another civilisation - that he couldn't save. And we don't know what Tentoo got up to in the parallel earth. We assume that he lived happily with Rose, but that's not a guarantee. Look how quick he was to turn to such mass-scale violence in The Journey's End, do you really think that he wouldn't do the same again if he found himself or his family under threat on Earth 2?

Tentoo is Ten's rage. Fifteen is the Doctor healing from all that rage. The two are not the same, narratively or characteristically.

Next: the Companion Roll Call. "Martha wasn't mentioned!" Martha came before Donna, the Toymaker was recounting what happened after Donna. Martha also - as we saw in Ten's farewell tour - was not working for UNIT by the time her story wrapped up. So no, of course she wasn't mentioned. She was not immediately relevant. (Don't bring out the pitchforks yet, just listen.) Yes, it's sad that she didn't get a mention, but looking at it in context makes sense. Martha had the least to lose when she left the TARDIS for good. She didn't die, her entire family is alive (albeit traumatised, as Martha herself is), she was engaged in The Poison Sky/The Sontaran Stratagem, and married to Mickey by the end of The Last of the Time Lords. She was okay. Of all the Doctor's companions, Martha had the happiest possible ending. She was FINE. Look at the context.

You know who else was not mentioned? River Song, as in, the Doctor's literal wife, whose life with the Doctor was evidently just brushed aside with Donna saying that a normal, settled life is "the one adventure you've never had." River and the Doctor lived together for twenty four years. Before that, the Doctor spent eight hundred years, living on Trenzalore, protecting the town of Christmas. He's had a 'normal', settled life before. He has settled and stayed in one place before, more than once, and yet that got brushed aside without a single mention. That bothered me more than anything else, but that might be because I'm also rewatching Twelve's run at the moment, so it's front and centre in my brain.

Now that's all said. Let me get on to the stuff I liked about the special.

First, the bi-generation. I loved it. What a beautiful, brilliant way to reset such an old character. Fifteen feels fresh in a way that none of the past regenerations have felt, in my opinion, and it was beautiful to see the Doctor being so fully and joyfully embraced - both figuratively and literally - by his own self. The pure joy and excitement that Fifteen showed, and the love that he exhibited towards Fourteen, it genuinely made me tear up, which if you know me, you know that is not an easy feat. I think the line "It's so good to see you! So good!" is going to be burned into my brain forever. It was beautiful and it was kind, and it was everything that I never knew I needed to see. And their last hug on the UNIT tower, with Fourteen being cradled by Fifteen so gently, so lovingly, it was so very very necessary. The Doctor has been through so much, has lost so much, and even during that special, he had to endure being mocked by the Toymaker and ignored by Kate Stewart, and after all of that, damnit he deserved a hug, and Fifteen delivered.

I've been worried for a while now about how they could possibly refresh the show and the character of the Doctor coming into this new era on David's coattails, but they fucking nailed it with the bi-generation. Fourteen gets to slow down, he gets to live with the people he loves, his own little family. I have no doubt that he would eventually start reaching out to other former companions, too, like Martha, and Ace and Teagan, and Thirteen's Fam, and everyone else who's still knocking about on Earth. It'll take him some time, I think, but he'll do it, because he really does love them, and he remembers every last one of them. And while he rests, and heals, and lives, Fifteen can carry on the mission of the Doctor. Flying through the universe, saving people and planets, being kind. And he doesn't have to do that with so much weight on his chest anymore. He can see the joy in the universe again that Fourteen had lost sight of under all the weight he had to carry alone. I'm not saying that Fifteen is completely mentally healthy - healing doesn't work like that - but he is freer, and he is going to be brilliant because of that freedom.

Next, goes without saying, I love Ncuti Gatwa. He knocked the ball right out of the park with his first appearance and he had me absolutely hooked from the jump. I've always loved Ten, he's one of my favourite NuWho Doctors, but I'm going to be so honest, I completely forgot that David was even there once he was out of frame because Ncuti captured my attention that strongly. I love his energy, I love his joy, I love his whole attitude. I cannot wait to watch him take on this role. I've genuinely never been so excited for a new Doctor to take the reigns. Every other time, it's felt like a loss, but this time, all I can feel is joy.

Circling back, Fourteen's ending. I needed to see that. I needed that to be on my screen, and I am so fucking happy with it. It reminded me of the very first Christmas special, where Ten joined Rose's family for Christmas dinner. I love the very obvious parallel here, of course, the Doctor joining his best friend and their family for a meal. It's exactly the kind of ending that Fourteen deserved, in my opinion, and I think it was done wonderfully. Placing that emphasis on family, on loved ones, on finding comfort in simplicity, it just felt so good. The Doctor is happy, he's home, he has a family again, and he can just be. He doesn't have to impress them with technobabble or show them the stars, he can just be himself and they'll love him. And I can't even tell you all how fucking important it felt to me to have Fourteen's ending be without romance. (Another thing that differentiates this era from the Tentoo nonsense.) Too many shows - even this one - try to force a "Happy Ending" by saddling the main character with a love interest in a lazy attempt to show the audience that "See, they're happy now!" and it very rarely ever works out. (Remind me to come back later about TentooRose on this topic.) But Fourteen got familial love instead of romantic, and to a demiromantic like myself, that is SO fucking important.

This is getting WAY too long so I'll shut up now, but there. Those are my preliminary thoughts on The Giggle. Please do not dogpile me about the Martha thing, I am REALLY trying to keep everything very neutral about her.