#I'm gonna make defective look like a children's story

[ya-killin-me-smalls]

should be working on new chapters for the current fics but instead I'm listening to 100 gecs on repeat and thinking about the wip to come

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #76

You know. After a day or so to process this version of events, I think I can finally put into words why so many people cry out for your blood, but not Rufus's or his father's, even though they've done things that are arguably far worse than anything you've ever done. Goodness, but isn't it the same age-old story of people villainizing abuse victims for striking back while excusing the abuser that broke the survivor to that point? And we see it all the time in my world; nobody does anything about bullying at school until the bullied person finally punches their bully in the face, and then the bully gets off scot-free while the victim gets suspended. I think of spouses who, backed into a corner and trying to defend themselves, strike back at the spouse who has been abusing them, and the spouse defending themselves gets charges pressed while the other one who had been abusing them gets pitied. I think about trafficked humans (many of them are snatched up as CHILDREN) who, in an effort to get free or to defend themselves, strike back at the person trafficking them and escape, only to then face a world who hates them for having been trafficked. And all of these things have one thing in common: the price for escaping from being "owned" is often another form of punishment or imprisonment.

Of course, I am not saying that people should call for Rufus's or his father's blood, either. Or even for Hojo's. They are not different from you - either they have congenital defects in the parts of their brain that are responsible for empathy (and pretending like this is a moral issue instead of a brain wiring issue is ableism), or they've lived lives that have beaten their psyches into a shape that makes them think that hurting other people and treating them like objects is the only way to survive. This is ALSO a brain wiring issue - though this kind of brain wiring issue is better classified as a psychological injury (due to attachment disruption or childhood trauma) than as an illness or congenital defect.

Yeah, you read all of that right. I said what I said and I meant it, and I know that people aren't gonna like it, but today I am tired and bitter from all the shit I'm seeing, and out of fucks to give as a result. I don't demonize Rufus or his father. I don't demonize Hojo, either. They have done horrific and inexcusable things and I feel very angry in response to that, but they need HELP. They, too, are capable of making a different choice and turning around. Imagine that. It's almost as though calling for mercy for you (or in other words, "being a Sephiroth fan" or a "Sephiroth apologist", as people like to call folks like me for the purpose of degrading us) has absolutely nothing to do with your looks or with trying to "fix" you so I can date you (I'm sorry, but the idea of "fixing" a person to get with them is absolutely fucking barftastic🤢🤮), or whatever other bullshit nonsense that people who have never been through severe and ongoing grooming or abuse without any kind of support (support can be from a teacher, friend, other family member, etc.) like to accuse us of. Hoodathunkit?

I think, too, that lots of people see that potentially destructive side of you in themselves, and I think they would rather see people who lapse in reining it in die than acknowledge that it's within them, too. Or perhaps living a life that is painful enough to break them into such a horrific shape is unfathomable to them. Either way, one fact remains: people don't want to own up to the fact that literally every single one of us has the capacity to do something similar to what you did, if their life circumstances break them in the way that leads to that kind of terrible, tragic, infuriating, and wholly inexcusable outcome. You're not some especially monstrous thing. You're not a lone goddamn wolf or a rare exception to some general rule or an isolated fucking edge case. And I know it because people in my world make choices similar to yours EVERY SINGLE DAY, even if their means of enacting those choices differ from yours.

The capacity to inflict horror upon other living things is part of the human condition. It is in ALL OF US, whether we want to fucking acknowledge it or not. And all it takes to bring it out is a long enough string of psychologically damaging events in the absence of appropriate support. Cases like yours are NOT random events caused by "inherently bad people"; there's no such fucking thing as "inherently bad people". There are conditions and events that lead to people doing horrific things, and these conditions and events can be found and prevented before they get to that point, if only everyone keeps their eyes open and pays attention! I spend as much time as I can trying to reach those that conventional wisdom says are "unreachable" PRECISELY in service to trying to keep my eyes open and pay attention!

Because horrific events and bad choices are like bacteria - they DO NOT spontaneously generate ("spontaneous generation theory" used to be a thing that people believed about microorganisms a long time ago)! Conditions LEAD TO THEIR GROWTH. And the solution to a person afflicted with bacteria is NOT to kill or demonize them (though this is how they used to be treated; check out most of human history!)! You're supposed to give them antibiotics to REMOVE THE CONDITIONS THAT ALLOW FOR BACTERIAL GROWTH. And the same rules apply to people who make violent choices - you remove the conditions that produce the choices, NOT the person who made them. But goddammit, I am only one person, and… fuck, there are just SO. MANY. STARFISH… stranded on the beach sand…

Also, you know… even as far back as the original game, anyone with half a brain understood that you must have been crying, weeping, sobbing openly during your time at the library. In this version of events, we saw you do that for just a moment before it was choked back and replaced with… something else (I know what this is like; I still have the capacity to cease crying immediately via dissociation; this skill was literally beaten into me, and I imagine it's the same for you). And in my world, it's popular to believe that men should never cry or be vulnerable in any way, shape, or form (this bit of socio-cultural bullshit is actually generational trauma, and it's literally fucking killing people, in the form of internalized or externalized violence), so lots of people here are going to have less empathy for you at least in part because you defied the "cultural norms" of what it means to be a man and a leader (again, this is generational trauma mistaken for culture, and it needs to fucking stop because people are dying over it). And it's so… it's so…

Ugh… Sephiroth, all of the things I know, all the suffering in the world, all the causes of it… it's all swirling around in my head today, and it's heavy. It's so fucking heavy. Watching all the people, every single one of them beautiful and good, doing what they do to themselves and each another, hurting themselves and each other, psychologically or physically maiming themselves and each other, even torturing and killing themselves or each other, all because somehow doing these things feels easier than trying to repair and restore everything… they don't know what they're doing. And there's not… there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I look at the state of things on a large scale. Our dying planet. The endless wars. The marginalized groups of people. The violence and the hate crimes. The genocides. I want to cry and to scream and to throw up all at once.

…But I suppose much of that is neither here nor there. Suppose anyone with "conventional wisdom" would tell me I'm "reading too goddamn much" into a "silly video game", but… given that the media in our world LITERALLY PERPETUATES STEREOTYPES THAT KILL PEOPLE, I gotta say I'm more than a little fucking bitter about that today.

In any case… you - an abused, exploited, and bullied person most of your life - escaped being owned by Shinra (in the clumsiest and most ridiculous and horrible fucking way possible, but still), only to find yet another goddamn chain around your neck. If it's not Jenova controlling you, then it's your trauma and conditioning pulling the strings. Either way you're acting like a goddamn puppet. There, I said it. And as much as I love you, if you don't like that I said it, then too fucking bad; maybe try actually DOING something about it.

Sephiroth. As much as I love you, I am always going to be more than a little pissed about the fact that you squandered your voice so recklessly back then. I'm always going to be more than a little pissed about the fact that you fucking! abused! yourself! for a week! until you broke! WHAT THE FUCK.

If you had simply! Told people! What you had been put through! If you had told them what Shinra was doing! If you had simply opened your freaking mouth to talk about your experiences to a bunch of people who practically worshipped you, you would have eventually had millions of people rallied with you to put an end to Shinra! Sephiroth, for fuck's sake, YOU WERE A GODDAMN GENERAL!! You know how to lead people! And you know how to protect them! Get a goddamn grip!

And I know that the mayor guy acted all entitled to your time while you were exhausted and still grieving for your friends, and it was shitty of him to pass judgment on you when he had no idea what you were going through. But ultimately, it is up to YOU to communicate your needs and feelings, not up to the people around you to anticipate what they are! And I know that the guy took your picture without your permission, and I know they didn't heed when you said "not today". But there is a difference between "having no respect for your word" and "being so excited and happy about your presence that they are unable to contain themselves". It is still up to YOU to maintain your boundaries even if other people don't like it!

Sephiroth! I know that you were struggling! And I know that you spent your whole life being bullied and abused to the point that you felt as though your voice had no power. I know that. I understand that. I am still dragging myself up out of that hole. I know that you were trying to punish evil, and that you saw these people as being complicit in the system that hurt you, your friends, your mother (who I assume you now know is Lucrecia, NOT Jenova), and your planet. I get that you were trying to punch your bullies back in their faces, but you punched the WRONG PEOPLE. And even then: why punch people when you can instead wield your voice!

Sephiroth, despite the harshness of your upbringing and all the other things that make you stand out, you still have privilege! You have status! You have fame! You have power! You have a remarkably able male body! YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT PEOPLE LISTEN TO! You have a face that people are willing to see! You have a voice that people are willing to hear! And there is a difference between holding people accountable for being complicit in a system that benefits them, and punishing people for existing in a system (even if that system benefits them) that they did not consent to being born into!

You can't even begin to imagine what I would be willing to give up in order to have a voice like yours, so that I could call for compassion and mercy in ways that would get people to open their eyes and take action in service to putting a stop to all the suffering that exists in this place that I live in.

But no. Instead of being brave and coming out of your shell to use your voice and social power in response to injustice and exploitation, you simply defaulted to your instinctual behaviors. You did the thing you've been trained to do. Like Pavlov's dog, the bell was rung and you drooled everyfuckingwhere. You used your power to cut everything down, instead of using your voice to rally people together for a cause that they ABSOLUTELY would have followed because YOUR face and YOUR voice would have been the one leading it.

Sephiroth. This fucking sucks. What you did to yourself in that library - starving, dehydrating, and sleep depriving yourself and pushing yourself past your limits while you were already strained - fucking sucks. And what you did in the throes of your agony also sucks. Punishing the people around you because your brain was addled and you didn't fucking fact-check what you were reading fucking sucks! And I do understand very well why you did all this; I was abused similarly to you, albeit in a far less extreme way, and thus a long time ago I used to think similarly to the way you did after your fall (I don't think that way anymore because I had help, thank freaking goodness). But IT STILL FUCKING SUCKS. And it was STILL unacceptable. You can't change what you did. But you can make a different choice, moving forward!

Conventional wisdom says that there is no coming back from having fallen, but I am living proof that in this case, "conventional wisdom" is GARBAGE. I would not be sitting here, imploring you to turn your eyes towards a kinder, more compassionate worldview - one that exists in stark defiance of everything I used to believe because of what I was taught as a child - if "conventional wisdom" were true. In addition, I have met other people in the course of my derping around on this broken fucken planet who also serve as proof that anyone, no matter what has happened to them or what they've done in the past, can rise up into making a different choice. And these cases, too, are not "edge" cases. They are not exceptions to a rule. The capacity to heal and grow and change - just like the capacity to hurt and regress and stagnate - is part of the human condition. And this means that anyone can turn around! No! Matter! How! Far! They've! Walked! In! The! Wrong! Direction!!

Goddammit, Sephiroth! Turn yourself around!! Because although I understand what you're trying to do, what you're doing is NOT the way to get it done! What you're doing is BULLSHIT! Maybe you think you're demonstrating your "phenomenal power" or whatever by breaking everything around you, but what you're REALLY doing is yielding to your conditioning like it's got a chain around your neck and a cattle prod in its hand! It's weaksauce! You ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BREAK THINGS. You've spent your whole life being forced to do that even when you didn't want to!

So you gonna, you gonna what? Sit here and claim that you're "the chosen one" or some fucking horseshit, as though you've taken your power back? When really you just took the easy route of doing the same old shit you've always done - bending over and making yourself a slave to someone else's fucked-up agenda, and becoming the very thing you reviled against SO HARD that you burned down an entire fucking village in disgust, despair, and rage? I ain't buyin' it, and neither should you! All you've done is exchanged one codependent relationship for another! And it's getting fucking old! You can do better than blind, subservient obedience to some random fucking space parasite that don't give even two shits about you as much as it cares about your capacity to allow it to resume its life cycle! You've gotta know that even if you really did manage to break everything (you won't, because I fucking promise you that you'll be stopped), as soon as you've served its purpose, it's gonna toss ya like yesterday's trash, if not outright consume you like a female mantis after it's done using its mate like a fucktoy!

The developers said that we've only seen 1% of your power or some shit, but you fucking know what? You could wipe the whole goddamn universe clean. You could extinguish every last star. And STILL some random fucking autistic chick from some random fucking planet in a random fucking solar system in a random fucking galaxy has your ass beat in ALL the ways that count! And that's NOT ACCEPTABLE. I am nothing! I am NO ONE. Sephiroth!! COME ON ALREADY!!

You want strength? Do the work to defy your conditioning. Do the work to love the broken things. Do the work to become someone who does no harm yet takes no shit. Do the work to become someone who can remain soft even in this sharp and unforgiving world. Do the work to get out of your own damn way. Do the work to become someone who can treat yourself like you actually fucking matter. Do the work to get up off your knees and live. DO! THE! WORK! Don't just do the same thing you've always done and claim you've won! Don't act like a pigeon playing chess - shitting all over the board and then struttin' and swaggerin' around like you're some kind of grandmaster! That's NOT how this shit works! You haven't broken free of the pattern! All you've done is changed the hand holding your leash!

You have to stop blindly giving away your power to anyone who claims to love you! You have to stop using your power in service to the conditioning that tried to snatch away who you really are on the inside! They tried to steal away your gentleness! They tried to steal away your emotions! They tried to steal away your ability to cry, your ability to be vulnerable, your ability to be compassionate and loving! Are you just gonna sit here and let them? Are you going to keep pretending like you're cruel and hard-hearted just because a bunch of people who cared nothing for you told you that's how a proper warrior is supposed to be? Are you going to keep on like this, doing the same thing you've always done, just because taking the time to grieve and to make choices that are actually in alignment with your nature are things that feel too difficult for you to do?

…Fucking hell, but some days, clamoring for you to get your shit together feels A LOT like Atreyu trying to pull Artax up out of the swamp:

Come on!!! Turn around!!! You have to, NOW! You have to try!! You have to care!! You can't let the darkness overtake you! You gotta move or you'll die!! Please!! There's still life on the other side of mistakes. There's still life on the other side of despair. There's still life on the other side of rage, of loss, of shattering. It doesn't have to be permanent!

…I won't give up. Even if you leave those of us who care for you sitting and weeping in the middle of the swamp, staring forlornly, or in shock and in disbelief at the place where you sank, I'm not going to quit. I will keep calling out your name in hopes that you'll follow the sound back to the light. Because you're worth the effort. You're worth the pain. You're worth the grief.

I'll leave you with these:

Take the hands outstretched to you and get your ass out of the goddamn swamp. Having a swamp ass is not a good time for ANYONE involved. So please. I…

…I'll write to you tomorrow. Because I love you. In the same way that any person loves their friends. Do everything in your power to keep yourself and your planet and your friends safe. I'm begging you. Please.

Your friend, Lumine

[kishiar-la-orr]

in defense of first game kishiar,

turning is a finely crafted story. kuyu makes sure to ground every single one of their characters to the world that they live in, the world the story happens in.

today (as always) i am gonna talk about kishiar, but more specifically kishiar and his relationship to mortality, recontextualizing the things he did in the first game and all. super special humongous gigantic thanks to @kouraissant for helping me with this and bearing with my nonstop kishiar and mortality thoughts!

a lot of the things i'll be talking about also involves a degree of personal experiences and maybe a healthy dash of self-projection. as a disclaimer, you don't have to agree with me on anything and everything, but i'd rather some of the more personal parts to not be responded to rudely or unkindly. i will not tolerate that, sorry.

usual kishiar & mortality tw: canonical suicide attempt discussion, canonical self-harm, canonical death. be wary of spoilers.

1TL = first game/pre-regression/first timeline 2TL = second game/post-regression/second timeline

kishiar is a really fascinating character and his relationship with mortality moreso. a lot of the things that kishiar does, in my opinion, is very much colored by his circumstances growing up, specifically being born with the knowledge that second, third, etc. imperial children tend to be die young as if having 'major defects' be it physical or mental (ch 109) and ended up having no power, remaining unmarried and bowing their heads their whole lives (ch 14).

that is to say, all his life, he surely knows he can die quickly and easily, almost anytime. it's true that for everyone, death does come suddenly, but in kishiar la orr's life, death is like a childhood friend you don't like but are forced to get along with. again, this colors his whole life. this is the kind of circumstances that forces you to mature really quickly, to learn to be expressive and speak your thoughts like it's your last day, but to also learn to hold your tongue and bow down your head because you're a prince and your words still have consequences beyond normal children's would. you're forced to accept that this is the kind of life you will live and the kind of death you'll be documented as. by all accounts, i think that the current kishiar is really good at managing social situations however tricky they are, the fact that he's a rizzmaster, part of all those also comes from being used to having to process things quickly because you don't have the time to even live, being used to having to be expressive because god knows when your last day will be.

given all that as a background information, let's reexamine the conditions of 1TL.

i'd like to first point out that in 1TL, the very health and life expectancy that he used to not have pre-awakening was already given to kishiar during the awakening. i'm not too privy yet with the circumstances during the two years since the fall of the red stone to the cavalry recruitment in early canon, unfortunately, but i'll assume it was also time spent preparing and not just in silence, maybe even preparing for the cavalry to be created or searching for a cure for keilusa as well (though this is just personal theory). even so, two years really isn't that much time? soon after his awakening and tasting good health and better life expectancy the first time in his life, 1TL red stone retrieval mission happened, which forced kishiar to withdraw the divine sword without him meaning to and regained him the same vessel issues he's always experienced his whole life, basically bringing him back to square one after giving him the one thing he's always wanted his whole life. it's like the universe telling him: "look at everything you could have once had. endless possibilities. none of them are yours. not anymore."

to me, after at least 600+ chapters of reading, kishiar's character's basis is his loved ones. almost all of his actions can be traced back to him doing it in alignment with the position he has (being a prince and a duke) and out of the love he has for nathan, keilusa, and other people in his life. to be brought back to square one, struggling once again with the same old vessel issues, except worse this time, because many of the past imperial children didn't even make it to age thirty (ch 109) while he was already 29 and he almost died once already because of this very same thing.

expanding on his past experience with vessel issues and his response to it, from chapter 602 and chapter 160, likely kishiar's condition was so bad he might as well be almost dead before the timely awakening happened and immediately was followed by his second gender manifestation. he probably thought it was for real his death happening, not a surprise. he cleared off everyone and attempted suicide by touching the divine sword. that he cleared off everyone can also be argued as a selfless action, wanting to keep the smallest person possible to witness his impending doom, in order to save his loved ones from the heartache of seeing him suffer, try to kill himself and/or die.

it can also however be seen as selfish. after all, who is it that loves you and wants you to kill yourself?

this is where we will have to reiterate some points: kishiar is someone who's good at processing and expressing emotions. he's also good at knowing how to hold back and when to hold back from expressing said emotions. he's also someone who is logical and reasonable. and i also want to introduce some new points, that is: the universal fact that a lot of mental strain and generally bad mental health often cause irrationality in people, even someone who's perceived as reasonable or someone who's good at emotions. spiralling is called spiralling for a reason.

from the point of view of reason, leaving your cavalry commander mantle to the hyper-competent guy you happen to love to death, watching him get inaugurated, constantly visiting him, and of course, the pethuamet fight (which yuder 2TL classified as kishiar self-harming) are all illogical. kishiar's 1TL actions cannot be called reasonable or logical because they aren't. they are irrational the same way you and i get irrational when we're in extreme emotional duress. can anyone really claim to be logical when the threat of death looms so closely you can't even see it clearly anymore?

let's talk about some more things, like how the commander uniform he personally tailored for yuder (ch 625) is seen as yuder as unnecessary. logistically speaking, it really is unnecessary, it's not like yuder needed a new uniform when he can just wear kishiar's old ones and it'd probably just need some adjusting to fit better? but then it is explicitly stated by 2TL kishiar as 'hoping the person will wear them and think about the person who made it.' (ch 626)

also on the same conversation, 2TL kishiar stated that the strongest fear he has ever felt was during the late emperor's funeral, the feeling of being powerless, how frightening it was to look at the reality in front of him while he could only imagine what would happen to him, keilusa and the country in the future (ch 625). and in chapter further back, he also stated that in the tactical game, in the event that his special piece is almost caught by the enemy before he can use it, he would 'take the initiative and put it out as a bait in front of the enemy' (ch 105).

it paints a picture of this: it's not that he wants to do all these things, it's that who knows how to deal with death and the mental strain that comes with it when there are no actionable steps you can take, nothing under your control? he has a history of harming himself too, as i said, with the suicide attempt. in kishiar's case, the self-harm and the manifestation/post-awakening incident when he tried to kill himself, everything feels a bit more like struggling to feel a semblance of control in a world that is out of his control, when even his body feels out of his control all his life.

really, all of the things that can be deemed illogical, like ruining his relationships with everyone just so they feel less pain when he dies or like selfishly leaving yuder a legacy to care for or constantly visiting yuder even after his retirement, it stems from the selfish and very human desires of wanting to keep the loved ones near while he has time, trying to wrestle for a semblance of control, trying to leave anything useful at all that is within his capacity to give towards his loved ones for when after he's gone, grappling with all of the complicated emotions and love and care he has that he can't even act on. it's made even more complicated when you remember that kishiar isn't even suicidal originally. he's like this because of the circumstances thrusted upon his hands, he's only driven to that point because maybe he too doesn't want to die a dogshit death.

the upside is just because it's illogical doesn't mean it's treated callously or looked down upon. 1TL kishiar's actions are written beautifully by kuyu and never in a negative light. yuder himself has gripes about 1TL kishiar, but never outright insulted or downplayed his influences. if anything, the way yuder thinks of 1TL kishiar's actions, especially after knowing the imperial family's vessel issues, is very sympathetic (ch 293). in the words of our friend baby potat aloo,

like: look at this man trying to wrangle with his own tragic fate as best as he can while people he cares about most and people who care about him are unfortunately subjected to the pain of passively spectating his self-destructive ways of trying to gain some semblance of control (thinking of nathan and uuder) and/or secretive plans that seem like the 'best' choice in his opinion. nonetheless it's still about love.

that has been a long discussion over kishiar and mortality, kishiar and his loved ones as the basis of his motivation for every action. but let's not forget to talk about yuder, the one he has an almost-electric connection, deep and soulful, to. in a way, chapter 291's kishiar dialogue line "i feel like i can live now" can be seen as something he says out of love for yuder, because yuder is one of his loved ones, one of the ones he treasures the most. but also you can see it as another control thing. he's there out of his own accord, he came there through the window without being seen out of his own choice and yuder always 'tolerated' the situation, never reporting it. we can argue these are games and rendezvous they both consented to.

next, let's discuss: this is what he said in chapter 46, right before his death:

"...I wonder where it all went wrong. Thinking about it, it seems like it was when we retrieved the Red Stone." "..." "Yes... That's right. It must have been then that everything started going wrong. But even knowing that, I couldn't stop it. Because I had no other choice."

it rings so much of hopelessness, of someone who can't do anything but imagine a universe where the only thing he wanted in life was ripped away from him the moment it was bestowed. and then immediately dismissing it because it doesn't matter when it's already happened and the only thing he can do now is, just like the dukes before him, bow down his head and await for his death.

in later chapters, we also come to know that he cleared off the entire building and it was nearing his birthday when the assassination took place. we can also argue that this is euthanasia or assisted suicide, the executioner and helper is the one kishiar loves the most, who doesn't even really want to kill him. rather than a dogshit death he didn't choose, 1TL kishiar arranged it so that he dies in yuder's hands, knowing that it'd change his relationship with someone he loved so much, to die like a euthanised dog, spared the pain of unattainable hopes. in a way, it's a curse on yuder's memories, good or bad, of him, in a way, it's an act of making yourself an open wound. this too isn't rational, similarly to the way he leaves a personalized clothing for yuder's inauguration and new status as the cavalry commander or the way he gave him a name, this is a way of leaving behind a legacy, a desperate act of wanting to be remembered by his loved ones.

so, what's the point of all of this? nothing, i'm just a kishiar shooter. but also, everything. because the miscommunication in 1TL isn't one that can be so easily solved by speaking up. it's something that's integral to the story plotline, caused by the story circumstances, it's a testament too to how good kuyu's writing is and the complexity of kishiar as a character. it is, unfortunately, not as simple as just say you love him before you die. that is my conclusion.

some more unrelated, but perhaps also fun points:

i truly think, like a true self sabotage, kishiar's actions as an attempt to feel some semblance of control only works against him, making him feel more powerless and out of control

also this is for sure why he's so invested in healing keilusa

to another degree, cavalry in 2TL becomes his purpose and one of the major factors of his identity (the way it was to yuder 1TL, which is a discussion for another time), so in 1TL, stepping down could arguably also be seen as a loss of both authority/power and responsibility, leading to an even more 'out of control' feeling, even if he was indeed the one to step down out of his own accord, like no one forced him

1TL yuder was looked down on as a male omega leader, not man nor woman, commonborn cavalry commander who slept his way up. a lot of the things he did, even down to his fighting style, was also, to a certain point, a way of fighting for power, to look powerful and gain authority and be feared, if not respected. at the same time, kishiar didn't die instantly. he committed a lot of actions (as said earlier) that felt more like a grappling with control, which is just another form of power/authority. in a way, you can see these two foiling each other at the moment, struggling with power over how ppl perceive you (yuder) vs struggling with power over how you perceive yourself (kishiar). which is also funny because turning is also a story about power to me, what-with the catalyst to all of canon's plot being the red stone, which granted power to the people living in turning's canon universe

thanks for reading!

[whiteshadowsstuff]

Clinically insane

Or so they say

Corrosion of the brain

Like tooth decay

Some call it crystal

Others call it ice

This is my story

I'll try to be concise

Bottom of the gene pool

You sport the title well

Inbred family

Little children with tails

White trash tweaker

The truth will be unveiled

Low rent hacker

Says he has a crew

Pack of Bushwackers

And cyber is their ruse

Spun out flapper

Look who just got screwed

Served up on a platter

Gave me all the clues

You call yourself an artist

Nothing from the farthest

An artist? Lol ur a fucking joke

Your a mediocre hack, a novice, beginner

Go smoke another pinner

A looser not a winner

The new girl on the block

What you say has no stock

Dwayne Johnson is the Rock

No likes on your Tik-Tok

That shouldn't be a shock

You I like to mock

You kind of look like Spock

It's the nose....I'm gonna sock

You've got some warrants out

What's this all about?

2 are for assault

Yeah right it's not your fault

That's why your on the lamb

I like green eggs and ham

No one can save you now

Not even Samsung Sam

You fucked my friend over

Supposedly your friend too

Who needs enemies

With a friend like you

Attempted suicide

Another rehab

A stint in ICU

The futures looking bad

You knew about her struggles

She lived with everyday

You knew of her addictions

Hard to keep at bay

You knew her health was failing

And spun her anyways

Pocket full of dope

Brains not thinking straight

Sexualy exploited

Predator and his prey

Laid out in black and white

There is no fucking grey

All hyped up on the G

Your life's an atrocity

Your actions are a monstrosity

A syndrome like hyperviscosity

Character defect of pomposity

Cannot be trusted......hypocrisy

Coming at you with velocity

Full force of my ferocity

Your the black stain in society

I stand for life

You represent death

You took her mental health

Smoking up that meth

I tried to treat her right

Lookin out for her best

At hospice every night

Till she took her last breath

In her afterlife

Lady Macbeth

The devils coming for you

And I'm your Godsend

Strike you out for 9 innings

Then hit a homer in the 10th

Send you straight to hell

For you have mortal sinned

Can you hear the music play

That's my violin

You had an app in my phone

I found out in the end

Did your camera roll

Pissed me off I won't pretend

Put on your little show

With no clue of what I know

Now the dust has settled

You should have never mettled

I'm the peoples choice

Like Larry Fitzgerald

Call me Messiah

Call you Pariah

You want to poke this bear

I'll fold you like a chair

I didn't sweat you then

I sure don't sweat you now

As my late friend would say

Mmmmmm......Brown Cow

Ricki Ticki Tavi

The mongoose and the snake

The mongoose smart and crafty

The snake will make mistakes

Time to set the trap

I casted out the bait

Hook line and sinker

The hacks came out to tinker

You say this makes no sense

Here comes my whole defense

Fortune 100 IT department

Thought you were safe

Sitting up in your apartment

Hell yes I gave your name

Checkmate end of game

Now as you can see

Add up the felonies

Hired guns to my left

The law to my right

Wrap the rope around your neck

The noose is getting tight

Adios thanks for playing

Your ship has gone sailing

Got you a front seat

Florence State Penitentiary

Threw your crew under the bus

The bus that you were driving

Your meth is crystalizing

Cyber crimes are on the rising

The evidence is piling

You know what I'm implying

Read it in my writing

This moment is defining

It is the siver lining

Life's all about timing

And your time has come

No rope on your soap

Hot dog in the bun

This is my poem

My riddle if you will

Addictions unforgiving

And her death was surreal

The predator is lurking

Skeeter in the night

Pocket full of christy

Human parasite

Now I always spit the truth

Maybe a couple lies

This story is nonfiction

Cross my heart hope to die

And the tweaker that I jingled

He's looking at hard time

He's thinking 2 or 3

I'm betting 8 or 9

[storiesbeyondthestars]

Hi! I'm in love with your new story, What Happens In Vegas, and I can't stop thinking about it. The universe you created is super interesting and lots of questions keep popping up in my head. What would happen if two omegas fell in love? Would they be able to be together (to bond?)? What is the general opinion on O/O relationships? Can omegas become independant under certain circumstances, and legally be able to make decisions for themselves? I admire you a lot for your complex universes. ♥

Aww thank you so much! That’s so sweet! :D 

I absolutely love world building. I’ve been writing for a very long time, and while I love writing just small little moments between characters, I love exploring the worlds they live in, and how that can impact and change the characters that we know and love. 

My approach to bringing characters into unique worlds: don’t change the characters to fit the world (in this case, an omegaverse), see how they can exist as they are within these universes. Obviously, there’d be some differences based on their situations (Keith wouldn’t have quite the abandonment issues if Krolia had been there all his life, for instance), but it’s still possible to make them as similar to their canonical selves. That’s what I aim for. 

Anyway, tangents aside, let’s actually address the questions you asked about the specific world shown in What Happens In Vegas. 

Oops this got kind of long, so below a link it goes! 

So lets talk about the concept of bonding in this universe. There’s actually a scientific basis behind it involving chemicals in salvia and that in a scent gland that creates a one-time reaction, bonding two people together. Though the group that runs things (primarily rich, white, male Alphas, because you bet I’m gonna run commentary on that shit) would have the population believe that only Alphas can do this, it’s not true at all. The same can happen between any combination of dynamics (I don’t like using the term ‘secondary gender’ since there is a biological basis behind this concept, and gender is a choice so it gets it’s own classification all together). So in theory, two Omegas absolutely could bond with one another.  

There is no reason two Omegas couldn’t fall in love. None at all. I imagine some would be repulsed by the scent of Alphas. The only ‘pull’ they might feel towards an Alpha is out of comfort or in a familial way. There is no reason they can’t physically bond with one another two. Could they get married though?

Let’s talk to all the LGBTQ+ people around the world about why this specific concept could get messy in a legal sense. In an ideal world, hands down yes. In the one I’ve created? Absolutely not.

If you’re following, it means they could bond with one another, but they can’t get legally married. I’ll explain why.

In this particular society in this world (as in North America), Omegas are barely seen as more than possessions or breeders, since Betas that can have children struggle with it a lot (very high mother and infant mortality and defect rates), and the population is alarmingly low at this specific point due to an epidemic. Many people, influenced by The Powers That Be, would frown upon it. They’d be labelled as selfish. They’d be belittled in both an ignorant ‘Oh look, they’re such good friends’ way, and a ‘that’s disgusting we need to take them from one another and show them why they’re wrong’ way. 

Is everyone like this? No. Not even close. Unfortunately, small but loud groups of people tend to ruin it for the rest of us. 

They wouldn’t have any independence at all. They couldn’t advocate for one another or anything. What would happen here is that their family members would have to do it for them, and odds are, if an Omega couple is established, at least one person in their family is supportive of this and will help them.

It’s absolutely a stupidly backwards, complex, bigoted, nasty, dystopia, and that is on purpose. I’m not glorifying this type of world at all, but trying to use it to portray issues that reflect ones seen in our own.

I hope this made some kind of sense. Sometimes ideas in my mind don’t make as much sense when written down as I thought they would! 

[cartoonbeatleskilledme]

Hello I'm new to this whole lore thing and it looks REALLY confusing, can you give me a summary of what's happened?

aLRIGHT lads strap in cos this is gonna be long as shit. before i get into this i want to give a disclaimer, theres a 100% chance i’m going to miss at least one thing and i can’t give you a definitive timeline, so i encourage other people to reblog this and add anything i’ve forgotten/overlooked. im gonna put this under a read more, cos like i said, this is gonna be long

so the name “beatles cartoon lore” popped up a little bit after everything started - it was either an anon (as i remember getting an anon using the phrase for the first time that i personally saw it) or @icasms​ used it first, as they’ve stated such. either way, the actual storyline starts before that point. I am 99% sure @beebleborps​ is the root cause of all this, and I wasn’t actually there for the very start, but I was there before everything exploded. I’m not sure exactly what happened before I dove headfirst into the void, but I know that the castle from the first episode was already the main scene, and that Beebs had already been dragged into the cartoon beatles’ universe, was forced into occupying dead George’s body and became a vampire during the process. You see, at the end of the very first episode, the Beatles all die, for no reason. So at this point, there were four ghost Beatles, four dead Beatle bodies, and the characters in play at this point were Beebs, @beatles-fan-13​ , and possibly others. I’m not sure, but I know there were far fewer cartoon beatles blogs back then, and most of them weren’t part of this (at the time) little storyline.

still pre-lore, I made my blog and beeble sent me an ask on how i’d died (see my username for reference) and I detailed that I’d been brought to the cartoon beatles universe by force, had witnessed the cartoon beatles’ final form, and that they’d killed me for it by inviting me to a concert, bringing me backstage, and dismembering me using George’s chin like a knife. Since there were mainly the ghost beatles at this point, that brought more attention to a second set of Living Beatles that were in the castle, which were also keeping beatles-fan-13 stuck in the dungeon. So right now, as far as I remember, it was me, them, and Beeble in the storyline, with two sets of Beatles - ghost Beatles and living, second generation Beatles. These aren’t the Eldritch Beatles, but are instead basically the same characters from the cartoon post episode 1, but crueler. A lot of the characterisation and early inspiration comes from @wtfbeatlescartoon​ , who often points out how needlessly cruel a lot of the Beatles are in the episodes. The lore has mostly spun away into its own beast at this point though. 

so pretty soon after I made my blog, like within a few days, other beatles cartoon blogs began popping up to join in on the fun. around this same time, i’m fairly sure @spookycryptidgeorge​ aka Grey began to get in on the story, and that’s when I got the ask/icasms coined the phrase, “beatles cartoon lore”. (In case you are curious, here is the ask, dated July 8th) Now around here I’m likely going to become more of an unreliable narrator, because a lot of things were happening at once. @cursedbeatlescartoon​ and @crypticbeatlescartoon​ came into inception, with the latter joining the madness of the story, and not long after that, @vampiregeorgeharrison​ and @eldritchgeorgeharrison​ appeared and the eldritch beatles became part of the story. It was also around this time that everything started to get more crazy and everyone was becoming a cryptid/inhuman/etc. The main players at this point that were making most of the threads were me, Grey, George, and Beeble, but the others were also contributing, and I might have missed some other story points.

The story so far here was that it started with Beeble (?) when he was transported to the Transylvanian castle in the first episode by the ghost Beatles, also known as the original Beatles. They were trying to recruit him to join the band, and George was trying to teach him the guitar, but Beebs refused cos they were forcing him into it. Eventually, George shoved Beeble’s ghost into his dead body (the other corpses are still in the same place and haven’t decayed at all) which caused him to forcibly possess George’s corpse, which also became vampiric, probably because he was dead for so long. Beatles-fan-13 was brought to the castle somehow and ended up trapped in the dungeon, was subjected to experimentation, and Beebs was trying to get them back when I became part of the story. I was a ghost which, story-wise, had been wandering the castle, but was mostly tethered to the Beatles and couldn’t go far. I met Beeble first, I believe, and relayed my story, as well as the fact that the second generation Beatles had tethered my spirit to them so that I would preform menial tasks for them, and that one of the experimentation processes they had people undergo was cartoonisation, and that they’d done as such to me, which was a process that allowed someone from outside of the cartoon beatles universe to assume a cartoon form in their universe and switch out of it when leaving. (it was later discovered that only I would need to go through this process, since it was not a Roger Rabbit situation and everyone else turned into a cartoon automatically. I was a special case because of what species I am, which was not known at this point and assumed to be human) Most of our time was spent trying to find the dungeons and get beatles-fan-13 out of there, and at some point they’d stolen some of Beeble’s blood and given it to beatles-fan-13? I’m not entirely clear on if that worked, but I know soon after they became a ghost and now reside in Beeble’s tophat.

When Eldritch George appeared, we all learned that there were an even higher class of beatles, and the second generation beatles were more or less pushed to the side story-wise. The most powerful beatles are the True/Eldritch Beatles, but there were only two True Beatles - John and Paul. They had converted Eldritch George and an (unseen) Eldritch Ringo to become like them, but they weren’t truly like them, which was why they were defecting. the True Beatles were waiting for True George and True Ringo, who at this point have not shown up yet. Soon after Eldritch George appeared, @eldritchpaulmccartney​ , the first True Beatle, came into existence and began to pull the strings. Nobody’s sure exactly what their plan is, but Paul (typically referred to as Luap so as not to “summon” him, in a voldemort-esque situation) revealed that most of the people in the story aren’t human. Me, Serena, was never human to begin with and is instead some sort of powerful being called a Star Child, but events I’m not aware of resulted in me losing my memory and assuming that I was a human. I’m not even actually a ghost, but assume the form and abilities of a ghost because I thought I was dead. Grey was human at some point I believe, but they became corrupted by the True Beatles and the Cartoon Beatles Universe itself, which slowly corrupts anyone who doesn’t belong. Grey has mostly unseen powers/abilities, and so far, True Paul has let slip that he and True John need me and Grey for some sort of ultimate plan because of the power output we can give.Vampire George (separate from Beeble, who is also, somewhat confusingly, a vampiric George in appearance) is typically seen doing True Paul’s bidding and trying to find the full extent of Grey’s abilities and keep me/Serena in check.

Other parts of the story that didn’t really fit into that summary are that icasms can be possessed by a John, not sure which, and she stays away from the castle for that exact purpose. There’s some sort of rune on her arm(?) that allows John to possess her more easily, and keeps other ghosts/beings from being able to take her over. Beeble, after a while of keeping in George’s body, became unstable, and Eldritch George “fixed” this by merging Beeble with George’s ghost, so now only three ghost Beatles roam the castle. Ghost Paul typically hangs around Beeble and will sometimes possess him in order to get attention, though i’m not sure if there are any other reasons for this. More recently, @elemental-icee-cattt​ , some sort of doctor who may or may not be from the cartoon beatles’ universe itself showed up and has been helping keep Grey and me from basically dying, since certain events (like Grey somehow becoming irradiated after being possessed by Vampire George and Eldritch George letting me/Serena read from the book on Star Children in the Eldritch Library) almost led to our deaths and, due to our abilities, possibly the destruction of the castle and/or universe. 

NOW, that’s the story part of the Lore. The other half of the Lore has to do with the Cryptids, which are born from finding screenshots where the animators fucked up and everyone spins a story from it. I already made a post on the origin of the First Cryptid, Glitch John, and there’s a whole blog dedicated to the cryptids that’ll tell you their history, @glitch-john-and-friemds​ . At the mo, there’s Glitch John, Glitch Paul, Glow George, Octoringo, Eyeless John, Supereye John, and I’m sure there are others I’m missing. People who contribute to this part of the lore include @abandonedstage , @404bot , @lenshitposting , @beatles-cartoon-analysis , @constantcascades , @ringodidnothingwrongo , @foolishgrippy , @agesnotyetwritten and anyone else who produces art and fics for it, as I’m sure I’m missing people and I’m sorry if I missed you!!! If you’re curious, yes, the cryptids ARE technically part of the lore story, but none of them have really appeared (aside from a few asks from Glow George) so they don’t play much of a main part.

SO that is a Quick and Probably Incomplete summary of The Lore, and it’s really long but here it is and I hope you can understand it! if i’ve missed anything, again, feel free to reblog this post and add things, and if you have any further questions, just ask beeble or anyone else you see contributing a lot!!! :::)