#I'm going to try to get to replie today
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I'm sorry, but your Medic is the most appealing design I've ever seen of him!! You just draw him so.... shaped??? I dunno, it's just very good!!
This is such a cute message to get, here take this panel I drew today, it encapsulates my flushed reaction.
(There's no way you'll be able to guess the context to this panel)
#60 seconds till mission begins rambles#There's at least 3 more asks that are just compliments and I just look at them in shame until I manage to draw something as a reply#It's going very slowly ahem but I really want to draw a little thing for you all - your messages are so sweet#*throws a blow kiss to you all but I'm throwing it violently like I'm trying to get Gold at the Olympic games*#I was drawing for a job today and then I didn't want to continue so I went to draw medic but then I had to colour him and I didn't want to#So I drew one comic page :) But its 3am now so I go do bed good night everyone
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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80% legs, 20% brains, 100% cunt.
#howdouknomyname6#WHY U LIKE THIS#the Kiramman brand#⋅˚₊‧ ୨🧁୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ─ muse; crack#sorry I have been sporadic today but I've been chilling all day#between games with wife and doing a Cait costest hehe#also I'm still working on a new blog header cause mine is AWFUL#I didn't know if I was going to commit to this blog so I just did a super quick thing eiucnskjdsc#I have a vision and a concept but will I be able to put it through??#we'll find out in the next episode#I will try to get into replies tomorrow!!
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hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.
#HI HELLO BESTIES I WISH I COULD UPDATE YOU GUYS BUT I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY AND CONSUMED BY THE HORRORS™#basically im moving out the country in like four days so packing has been a whole ordeal#not to mention i'm procrastinating feeling my feelings#my three month gre prep plan turned into a one week prep reality T-T my unofficial score is 321 out of 340 which is... idrk#i was in the middle of a lot of things and given the level of time and energy i was able to commit amidst the chaos... it's not too bad.#OH ALSO i got done with the round one registration for my courses today and it was a MESS#(technically only the in-dept courses were due today. the ones from the other depts were due 17th. either way. the website was being cruel)#oh and as for out-dept courses it's a different procedure but I managed to get Intro to ML! absolutely insane given my meager coding skills#as well as my shaky understanding of engineering calculus. in other words welcome back my arch nemesis slash lover miss mathematics#oh and! all my friends are also moving away which basically means the past week has been meeting my besties and trying not to cry#i've been reading a bit as well! i read assistant to the villain and it was simply the cutest book ever i need the sequel SO BAD#OH AND GOSE IS BACK so that's been fun#so yeah that's what's up#i really wished i had more time to update on here I had a really cool idea for this week but i've been too exhausted sighhh#hope you guys have been doing well also please feel free to text or tag me on posts i might not be able to reply but i love reading updates#sending lots of hugs and chocolates to all my beloveds <3#oh oh also please go check out skz's comeback it's so good!#okay it's like 12:26am now ima go sleep now gnight byeeee#megumi in the tags#megumi.fm
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you know what i'm currently thinking about? what did daniel say when people mentioned that scar on his neck? like was he just openly telling alice and the kiddos that he got bit by a vampire?
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I would like to state for the record that Alasdair has a form of Haphephobia, in which being touched or the thought of being touched gives them an intense feeling of distress. Unfortunately fear tends to manifest as anger for them, which makes it more seem like they're just pissy and don't like being touched, but in reality they're terrified.
#;out of patience#When the fight or flight activates it's always set at fight by default#;Alasdair tag#Anyway I'm going to try and get the replies I owe done today! Which is also what prompted this 😂
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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry
#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages#i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3#might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year#just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like#please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL#things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart#i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything#all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared#just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself#i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try#but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal#i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.
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"Back by unpopular demand:"
"Us!"
#[*trips and falls to the ground like that one pepe frog meme but dramatically explodes into a million pieces instead* hi hi]#[i'll start by apologizing and thanking y'all for your patience bc wheew its been almost 2 months since my last post holy shittt]#[mental health along with intrusive thoughts and stuff have been absolute ass and still are right now]#[not gonna go into much detail bc i'm dealing with tons of bad stuff and negativity but yeah]#[at this point i aint even going to say 'im back!' bc everytime i do some even more terrible shit happens irl so naw]#[i also can't promise thread replies today bc i already know i'll likely not be able to finish any]#[but i will try to at least start working on some of them ;v;]#[other than that please feel free to send in stuff if you wish!]#[i haven't been around in so long that i feel completely rusty and out of the loop rn]#[but i think i'll start with the few asks i was unable to get to last time]#[if you guys who sent them see this: i'm sorry for the super looooong wait and thank you so much for your patience!!! <3]#[hope everyone's having a lovely day/night!!! <3]#;ic#(?#;ooc#(??#[the world will never truly know *x files music plays*]
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🗒
#blessings roll call!#feel free to hop in the tags or replies <3#started my new job this week-- working as a PT tech at a rehab clinic#that training is going well and it's such a blessing to not have to be actively searching for a job during the semester#since I've got a very full class schedule trying to find time to apply and interview would be a nightmare rn#so grateful that got done literally right before the semester picked up#and now I can focus on learning the job. also praise that all my coworkers are kind and patient.#school is going better than expected. there's a lot to do but so far I'm doing really well in all my classes#and singing in choir has been such a joy!#we have so many gorgeous pieces including a Sara Teasdale poem arranged for chorale#it sounds heavenly! the solo is lovely and the alto part is a lot of sustained notes that come together with the other parts to make this#insane almost organ-like sound#got to chat with my bestie today at my other job which was good#homemade soup!#food in general actually. The first week or two of the semester I was subsisting on nothing or junk food#and got to the point where I was starting to feel like crap and went grocery shopping#I've been bringing meals to college and work the last 2 weeks and it's made such a difference!#and I missed eating vegetables and actually getting protein so now I have nutrient-dense meals and it's great#actually getting close to enough sleep and it's been great#talked to my grandparents about visiting over Christmas break and they're down so I might be going to see them soon!#hanging out with my sister a bit more now that we drive to school together#despite being super busy it's been a good month. ups and downs but overall the best September I've had in a while#prayer request-- the one thing I haven't been consistent with is my quiet times.#definitely struggling in that area right now. please pray I can spend time in worship and prayer and study even when I don't feel like it <#college chronicles#journal
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*klaxons blare* I spent a lot of energy on an acceptable bland message to this LinkedIn message and you know what happened? the motherfucker wrote me back! Sir! I thought this was just a polite exchange of words what do you want.
#I'm not opening this new message today!#here I'm trying to show that I don't really want to talk by taking at least a day to respond#only to get a reply within half an hour#'but kit you're looking for a new job' yeah i think this guy is probably really good to know for someone in this region and line of busines#unfortunately my goal is to be neither#but i can't just diss him i have to be Polite#anyway welcome to a fraction of what's going on in my brain at all times wrt communication#applied faunology
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Atrocities happening to innocents that are a part of the oppressor state or group, is still the fault of the oppressor, not the oppressed for using the same tactics in their defense.
#palestine#current events#there was another post earlier talking about people living in imperialist settler countries (i.e. america) can't recognize the violence#done by a fellow imperialist settler against the native population because it calls up their own hypocrisy and#makes them afraid of the possibility of the same thing happening in their own country#so they bend over backwards to overlook and justify violence in anti-colonialist rebellion#and it really do be like that#israel has been killing palestinian civilians for 60 years and the world turned a blind eye#hamas is absolutely awful sure but are we to pretend like america's hands are any cleaner?#not trying to start anything#but damn#since i'm getting some replies to this i'll just add: violence exists in context#you can't look at the situation happening today without examining what transpired before#where did the violence begin#what factors contributed to this explosive reaction#how many people have died before today#et cetera#there's that one graph going around comparing the human costs from both sides#you know the one#the violence of the colonized stems from the violence of their subjugation#or something#resistance to occupation and colonization is always justified
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I am so sorry I have been gone. The last two weeks of work have been so overwhelming and I've been EXHAUSTED. We finished the multi too, last night, and Gale's last kisses have cured me.
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need to kill 8 minutes until my chorizo is done AND the song of all time cry to me by solomon burke comes up in the playlist. and i've already done the dishes. what else even is there
#i have so much to do today but none of it can be done in 8 minutes while music is playing#how have we not solved this problem yet. as a society#today my sister said in response to sth i said that i didn't think was at all unusual or profound: I wish you had a twitter#and i was like girl i wish you had a tumblr!!! lol#and then immediately was like. internally. but would i actually let her read my posts. is the thing.#every once in a while i go look at my blog trying to imagine i'm someone who knows me irl and try to think what it would look like to them#but i get distracted every time by just like. oh that was a good post. oh yeah so true. oh i was going to respond to a reply on that one#and almost immediately forget what i was doing on there#after cry to me plays i will probably watch some cherry magic while eating my dinner. cuz i can't do much else while eating#anyway what are you guys up to????
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((I'm gonna eeb cuz I am eeby deeby and it's nearly 1am...
Idk if I'm getting to anyone else's replies later.. I really want to draw.
I'm so sorry for everyone who's been waiting. I'm just having a case of writers block tbh.
#Ti speaks#Kitten is the only one who I can reply to SIGHS#I'm gonna try to at least get three replies done tomorrow at the VERY least...#well later today#sorry it's not tomorrow until I go to bed and wake up
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I think I'm gonna send my manuscript for book 1 of my duology to some agents tomorrow!!!
#things are getting real#or are they if no one replies lmao#anyway i spent today writing an author bio and a synopsis and a back of book blurb#so tomorrow im going to go through all agents and publishers i can think of and see what happens#probably won't hear from anyone for three months#and Australian publishers seem to hate fantasy which sucks#my story is magic realism so I'm gonna try sending it to some normie publishers anyway#well wish me luck!
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Ray,
Hey, mate. Can I even call you my mate? Do you even consider me a mate? I know its been awhile. Hope you've been doing alright. Not that I'd know because I haven't asked in four years because I'm a horrible person. Sorry for not staying in touch.
I get it if you're not interested in seeing me, but I thought I'd let you know I'm in London now. I've started taking classes at the university. Though I'm actually in the hospital at the moment. Seems I managed to get a bad case of muggle pneumonia crossed with a worse case of black cat flu. I'm not really sure about the specifics, but I'm fine now, should be out in a few days.
I'm sorry for not reaching out sooner. I meant to. The truth is I was just scared. I'm not proud of how I left, or rather how I left and cut you and everyone off. I was going through a hard time, but we all were so that's not much of an excuse. All I can really say is I'm sorry, and I'm here now. If you're interested in reconnecting I'd like that. Like I said, should be out of St. Mungo's soon. Or if you wanted to come see me here no that's fucking pathetic.
Cheers,
Colin Payne
#owl#ray#i hope you're having a good weekend#i'm hanging in here just been busy and stressed and so not been able to sit down and get into the writing headspace#i was trying to do some replies today but my brain still is not having it smh#but i remembered i had this in drafts#so even tho it's a lil early and colin owuldn't send this until he can sit up and write it himself (def not asking leo to write this one)#i'm gonna go ahead and post it for you xD
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