#I'm going to need to learn how to properly do animation in it for one of the other projects I'm working on

[akai-anna]

I'M FREAKING HYSTERICAL HOW RAN JUST DRAGS HIM AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL, LIFTING HIM WITHOUT MEANING TO WHICh just further proves 2 things:

shinichi is fckin SMOL AND LIGHT

ran is freaking STRONG

[egregiousmeme-art]

Oh to be a little guy rotating in a grey void forever and ever and ever

[m0narche]

Cw: Yandere themes, heavy infantilization, mommy kink, forced captivity.

"Oh little one..."

The freezing cold bubble of shock and numbness pops when he reaches for your face to wipe away the messy tears streaming down and you can't even flinch away –not that he'd like that.

"It's okay, shh you're safe, sweet thing. Everything's okay" Each word feels no less heavy and painful than a blade cutting through your tender beating muscle. Your ears are ringing and the world feels so loud, it's just too much. So unpleasant, unbearable –And he would love to tell you that you're too sensitive to survive.

It takes a few seconds of grounding for your hearing to be fully restored, that's when you realize you've been sobbing on his lap the entire time –Ah, that explains the coddling, why he's been bouncing you on his thigh, why his arms feel somehow more like a cage than usual.

"I'm so sorry Mommy had to scare you like that. But you needed to learn your lesson."

Right.

Suguru came home to a broken window since you didn't have time to cover up your tracks. The sound of the keys jigging in the keyhole coupled with his sickly sweet signature call of "Sweetheart I'm home" made your mind go blank and sent your feet sprinting to the woods.

It's honestly very infuriating how he manages to reduce you to a little prey animal. One he is very eager to domesticate.

You didn't get far, of course you didn't. He was immediately hot on your tail. It took him no more than 5 short minutes to pin you down on the wet dirt –with his hand nailing your face to the ground and your hands held up together behind your back, his weight felt more crushing to your soul rather than your body– you felt silly for even trying. And like a switch was flipped you went completely limp, –a little white bunny playing dead on the snow –camouflage. You don't recall anything besides being scooped up and scolded all the way back to the cabin he keeps you confined in.

It didn't even hurt when he savagely slammed you down.

Granted it would be the only time he ever was aggressive or rough with you, it was a moment of desperation, he was frantic to catch the little startled bunny before it hopped away, not that it had a chance to begin with. His excessive coddling must have been what snapped you out of your daze and triggered the panic attack.

"It's okay, mommy's got you now" he continues to shush you quietly "poor thing, you must have been so scared. I'll make sure to properly lock the windows next time, okay?

For God's sake.

You'd think falling on your sword is the smart way to go about avoiding any punishments, but he doesn't even fucking retaliate. He's so deep in his own delusions that he sees your attempt at escaping him as a consequence of his negligence.

It's just so humiliating. You want to yell, scream, hurt him in any way. You want him to understand and you want it to be painful and heartbreaking.

And before you could even move, Suguru notices the shift in your mood and moves to lift up his shirt and shove your face into his plump chest before securing you in place with a firm hand. It feels like putting a swift end to a toddler's tantrum before it even begins.

"I know you're scared, baby. I really do" he coos "But it's alright. Once you finish suckling, mommy will clean you up and put you for a nap, alright?" He starts to bounce you on his lap again, gently this time.

"Tsk- silly little thing, you were just tired weren't you?" More caressing, more touching– so suffocating.

"You're just too little to understand what's good for you".

[joonipertree]

Sugar Daddy Boxer! Bakugo Katsuki x college student gn!reader

Tags: Age gap! Bakugo is 27, reader is 22. fluff, protective bakugo, attentive bakugo, he's a boxer because I said so <3

Bro i finished this with my wrist bandaged up. The things I'd do for my anime men.

Pt 2. Pt 3

Feel free to send in requests/prompts for this AU!

"Babydoll."

....

"Babydoll."

You finally hummed, unwrapping the woollen scarf that pillowed your face. It did an amazing job to keep you warm in the cold abyss of the early morning winter but was useless in your boyfriend's heated sports car.

You let yourself unfurl, letting the warmth melt you.

"Did you sleep properly?"

"Yeah." you said with a yawn, ready to turn your brain off again.

"I'm gonna ask you how many hours and you're telling me the truth."

You made eye contact with Katsuki, who still hadn't left the front of your building mind you, and reached out for your morning kisses with puckered lips.

"First answer, then kisses."

You whined and squirmed before huffing into stillness when you realised he was too mean to give into you.

"Six hours."

Katsuki's already furrowed eyebrows furrowed even more but he leaned forward to kiss your puckered lips. His lips were warm and firm and tasted like strawberry chapstick. And the hint of his cologne wafted through you, making you sigh into him.

Katsuki tugged your lower lip into his mouth, suckling on it before letting go and kissing the corner of your lips.

"We agreed on eight, baby."

"I was doing my homework, silly."

"Was this before or after the fanfiction?

You grinned, pawing at his chest as you leaned in for another chaste kiss.

"Look at you learning, old man. It was before."

Katsuki rolled his eyes, squeezing your thigh with his rough hand before finally deciding to start the car.

"Where do you wanna get breakfast from? You're not getting a coffee, by the way."

"Excuse m---"

"Nuh uh, little one." Katsuki looked at you with an eyebrow raise. "You didn't sleep as much as you should've and it already makes you jittery."

You crossed your arms and huffed, burying yourself deeper into the leather. And you knew that you'd just say something stupid and get yourself in even more trouble, so your mouth stayed shut. Katsuki didn't bother asking again, already knowing that there was a chocolate croissant and Acai bowl that had you hooked.

He made his way into the store quickly, you yourself not leaving because your body was not ready to get out to the fanged monster that the winter brought.

It meant you got the wonderful opportunity to see people actively stare at your boyfriend

He didn't even bother making eye contact, hands deep in his pockets and resting bitch face on. Two boys came up to him in an excited manner that wasn't fit for early morning. And while Bakugo scowled harder, he still had the courtesy to give them his autograph. You knew that if they weren't highschool students, he'd tell them to fuck off. Bakugo never became aggressive with kids.

Once the order was handed to him, he slipped the tip into the jar at the counter. And since the man never carried change, the barista's face had twisted into shell shock. But Bakugo didn't even acknowledge it and left the premises, making his way back to you.

You were handed the croissant and Acai bowl, nose filling with pleasant scents that warmed you even further into the seat. Katsuki took a sip of his black coffee before handing you your own cup.

"It's very much decaf but I know you like your caramel macchiato."

You squealed at the gesture, not surprised that he was soft for you, and leaned in to give a big wet smooch to his cheek. His smile was evident, even when he tried to keep it hidden.

"I need to stop spoiling you."

He never did.

By the time you'd finished your drink and croissant, your uni had come into view. And as always, some people eyed the Chevrolet Corvette that your boyfriend drove. black exterior glittering in the morning sun.

After a couple affectionate kisses littered across Bakugo's face and a very long kiss on the lips, you got out of your car in your sweats and puffer jacket.

Your friends were waiting by the entrance, having come at the same time, they greeted you while eyeing the car. They knew it belonged to your boyfriend but they never knew what your boyfriend even did to be sports car rich.

"Hello, my children," You muttered out, blinking slowly as you put your scarf over your nose.

"Hey, dude." One of your friends began to talk to you while you all walked to class. But after a good fifteen steps, you heard someone call your name.

"Oi." The gruff voice filled your ears.

The three of you turned around and your friends had been left bamboozled.

Because lo and behold, Bakugo Katsuki had graced them with his presence.

The man just held up a green canvas bag, his finger being the only thing to hold the straps. You gasped and ran to grab it, making sure to check the contents as if afraid that you forgot to put your precious artwork before you left your apartment.

"Thank you thank you thank you, 'suki." You muttered, getting on your tippy toes to kiss his nose and mouth. You had to put your hand on rock hard muscle to stabilise yourself and the pressure didn't effect him one bit. He just cupped your face and deepened the kiss before placing one on your forehead.

"Stop being a dumbfuck and sleep on time. And show me what you made when I pick you up."

Bakugo started going back to his car, not caring for the stares your friends were throwing at him. They were chill, so he's heard. Katsuki was too anti social to get first hand experience.

"My guy."

When you turned, your guy friend had grabbed you by the shoulder and shook you vigorously.

"Your rich fucking boyfriend is a WBA fighter. Dude!"

"Yeah!! He's super cool right?"

"He's a fucking god but that's besides the point." Your friend looked more and more erratic.

"Yeah and that god is giving you a death glare. Better get your hands off them, bro. You've seen the amount of blood his opponents lose." Your other friend interjected, already pulling him off of you. He looked pale.

You turned and saw Katsuki stand like a statue, hands in his pockets and eyes hardened. His teeth were gritted which worried you since he already had a bad jaw. Students were swerving away like two rivers, his body like a jagged mountain in the middle.

Your double thumbs up and wide grin was the only thing that broke him out of his stance, shoulders relaxing and jaw releasing from its hold. Katsuki scanned the two men for a few more seconds before he turned and left with a wave of his hand.

"Fuck, I don't think I'll be able to breathe properly all day."

You turned with a skip in your step, happy to have seen your boyfriend for a few extra seconds in the morning.

"He's like a doberman. Such a cutie pie."

"I feel like that's an accurate description considering he would bite our heads off but only let you pet him." Your friend said.

"I see no cuteness in that man." replied the other.

[pimpnchips]

Needed Me 2

Part 2

Natasha x Wife!Reader

Warnings: angst, slight smut, blow!job, slightly mean!

nat.

Summary: heated arguments with Natasha

Authors Note: I’m sorry it took me so fucking long to finish this, I'm okay! but I had major writers block and I wanted to make it good for you guys. I also wanted to put the daughter in here more.

Lena swung her head in your direction, "Mommy I want this one," she whined. The rack of stuffed animals sat on display as your daughter complained about how much she wanted the pink bunny.

"No baby, you remember what mama said."

Last night, Natasha talked to lena about behaving properly. Now that she's getting older you can't keep babying her and supplying all her wants after a tantrum or fit.

So Natasha decided on no extra things outside of the store list for a month so she can learn that you won't be able to get everything she asks for even if she decides on throwing a fit.

"Lena, no means no," scowls natasha. Carrying Mateo in his car seat with her left hand, "Pick her up detka — let's go."

You couldn't help but bite your lip at Natasha's authority

Seeing her do what she does best turned you on in so many ways you couldn't explain. You couldn't stay upset with her no matter how hard you 'tried'.

Heading to your shared bedroom last night, Natasha had a way with her words, instead of hate sex you made love.

You missed her warmth and her touch but there's nothing you miss more than how sexy she looked taking care of her family.

Yes, your wife is a lot of things but you know how deeply she cares for the three of you and if you didn't.. you wouldn't have taken her back.

-

You sighed in frustration, "I'm not trying to upset you baby"

"I never said you did," she muttered, gathering the clothes and putting them into the drawer across from you.

Which was a lie, you knew she was upset because you disagreed with her thoughts of not putting lena into school right now.

You brushed your fingers through her red hair trying your best to comfort her, "I understand there's a risk baby but I want her to have a normal child hood"

Natasha chuckles in disbelief,

"You understand nothing."

You scoff, "Natasha? She's my kid too so what don't I understand?" You started walking across the other side of the room away from her.

"Please, humor me." You sat down in the chair next to the open window, your hands slapping your knee as you sat down.

A blank stare on her face caused you to raise an eyebrow, bouncing your leg impatiently waiting for an answer.

It wasn't surprising that you and Natasha got into an argument today, it was always bound to happen. Sooner or later.

"You do shit like this all the time," she mumbles under her breath, trying to make it hard for you to hear.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Natasha?"

Your wife clutches the shirt in hand, more frustration clouding her eyes as she stares at you. She clearly didn't have an explanation, only acting on impulse.

"Am I the one who forged our divorce? If anybody does stupid shit it's you not me." You protest, rubbing your fingers on your temple.

But there's something about crawling under Natasha's skin that pumps you up. Toying with her is what got you here, having two of her kids and married to her for seven years.

She ignores your directed comment, "There's too many risks."

"She's not attending school and that's final," Natasha grumbled, her head was filled with your nagging comments.

"Nat -" you tried to reason with her.

"Don't" She growls, snapping her eyes up at you.

Your mouth clicks shut, "Sorry," you mumble. She knows how well you respond when she gets pissed off.

Sometimes you can't believe the effect Natasha has on you.

She knows your weaknesses and has no problem showing her mastery over you. Something you craved over the past few months, something a certain someone couldn't give you.

You haven't told Natasha, you figured if she ever found out a another woman came around the house, she'll probably kill the girl.

She's too possessive of you to share you with anyone else. It'll tear her ego down, make her seem like she doesn't have control anymore.

—

"What do you know about banana bread, bunny?" Natasha laughs, hearing your daughter talk about how much she loved the taste of the dessert at the dinner table.

Lena giggles with a wide smile, "Miss Maximoff always makes some for me and mommy" she grins, picking up her last nugget eating it innocently.

Fear was written across your faces as you avoided contact with your wife. Natasha furrows her eyebrows at you, mouthing something you couldn't quite pick up on.

You stood up, "Let's put you to bed baby."

Natasha stared daggers at you, continuing to watch you walk away but you tried your best to not turn around.

The anticipation of waiting for you to get back sent nat over the edge causing her to throw everything off her desk.

"Fuck!" she screamed.

You heard nat scream through the door as your hand hovered over the door nob. You took a short breath to get yourself together before entering.

The door shut behind you, Natasha turned around instantly averting all of her attention to you.

"Natasha"

Before you could finish your sentence, she already had her hand wrapped around your neck causing you to inhale shakily, "Please baby."

Your wife clenched her jaw, staring into your eyes making you feel small under her grasp.

"Did she fuck you?" For a moment you saw her eyes darken, her hands starting to grip tighter forcing you to answer her question with a quivering voice, "No"

She released her hand, slamming it on the wall beside you, "Don't fucking lie to me!"

Your eyes welled up with tears and your body shook at the sudden movement she made. You and Wanda didn't have anything special she was nice but she was too nice for you.

You needed something stronger, you wanted Natasha hence why you never went further than a kiss on the cheek. But in this moment something clicked in you.

You needed her.

You looked up at the red head, moving down onto your knees. You wanted Natasha to know that you were hers and no one else's.

"Get up," she gritted.

Ignoring her statement you unbuttoned her pants pulling it lower until her underwear came off. Her dick sprung free ready to be sucked by you.

After a long pause, she moved forward grabbing your head forcing her cock into your mouth. Your tongue sliding along her length as you bobbed your head up and down. She groaned, holding onto the wall, "She could never fill you up like this" she said between pants.

You locked eyes with your wife who was watching you with pure lust in her gaze. Natasha cleared her throat, cock twitching from her own thoughts.

"You don't deserve my cock, detka."

She smiles at the whimpers that escaped you. Her hips started to move and you moaned.

"You shouldn't be sucking dick like a slutty little whore"

Tearing your gaze away from the cock, which was dripping with pre cum, you stared straight into her piercing orbs.

"We didn't have sex, Natty." You whispered, voice mildly hoarse already.

Natasha's face was flushed, cock weeping precum still.

She hadn't realized how close she was to coming until you stopped. "I know.you wouldn't do that to me," was all she uttered as you moved to take her again.

Natasha groaned, every word dying on her lips as your mouth was back on her cock. "Oh...just like that detka... fuck your mouth takes me so well..." You glanced upwards, watching her throat bob as she tilted her head completely back. A low, husky moan left her lips as you swallowed.

The sound of your daughter's voice from down the hall made you pull back. Saliva and cum dripping down your face as Natasha groaned at the sight, painting your face with her milk-white cum.

She forced your mouth open with her hand, releasing the rest of her cum into your mouth. Seeing you drop to your knees for her and pleasing her needs without asking made her proud. It made her thirst for you more.

You quickly got off your knees in a hurry, rolling your eyes at your crazed wife for making a mess of your face while trying to get up.

"Put your dick in your pants before your daughter comes in here" you whispered by her ear, a demanding tone that surprised natasha.

Quickly walking to the bathroom to clean your face, the sound of your daughter's voice getting closer to the room startled Natasha as she buckled up her pants.

"Mama, where's mommy? I can't sleep" Her hair was all over her head, fingers rubbing her tired eyes.

You shouted from the bathroom, "Mommy's coming baby!"

You threw your face towel down, walking out of the bathroom being met with Natasha sitting on the bed with the little girl tracing her tattoos, her head on her mama's chest.

Lena looked up with a smile making your heartmelt at the sight. "Why was mama screaming earlier?" She questioned, tilting her head.

Natasha bursted into laughter, you quickly sent her a pointed look causing her to quiet down. You sighed at your daughters question, "Nothing love, I was helping her with something"

Lena was even more confused than before, it was written all over her face but she shrugged her shoulders letting it go.

Nat smiled at her confusions, leaning down to kiss the temple of her head.

You smiled at the interaction it made you realize no matter the fights or arguments you and Natasha will have she'll forever be here to love you and the kids.

And you'll always love Natasha.

Even if that meant you needed her more than she needed you.

Needed Me

Tags:

@starfire1008@viosblog112@dvrkhcld@ciao00000111 @ddreader04@twentyonetornmyheart @pancakefan7529@widowstingsposts @rosea-reginae @coxlong

[kaijutegu]

Happy Valentine's Day! When you think about love and the animal kingdom, are alligators an animal that comes to mind? No? Well, they should be, because they have some of the most interesting courtship behavior of any non-bird. (Bird displays are something else entirely.) I think it's time that you all are introduced to the Big Gay Alligator Sex Study, more properly known as Courtship Behavior of American Alligators (Alligator mississipiensis), written by Kent Vliet. You can get the paper at the link below!

This was a study done over a 3-year period in the 80s with a population of captive American alligators to look at how they interacted. Alligators are incredibly social and have complex behavioral dynamics, and their courtship rituals and routines are pretty dang interesting. In general, crocodilians spend a great deal of time interacting with each other when compared to other reptiles, and the courtship behavior of a few species is well-documented. But in this post, I'm mostly going to talk about the American alligator (with a quick detour into Cuban crocs).

Why Do We Care About Courtship?

So before I dive into talking about this study, let's talk about why we care about courtship (the social behavior that leads to mating) and mating (sexual interaction that could, hypothetically, lead to reproduction). Courtship and mating are extremely important when studying animal behavior- honestly, they're extremely important when studying zoology in general. In some cases, understanding this behavior actually a major conservation concern! For example, the Cuban crocodile is an endangered species. They're largely constricted to two swampy areas of Cuba, both of which also have American crocodiles present. And unfortunately, the female Cuban crocs find the male American crocs really, really sexy. This is a big problem, because with only about 3-4,000 Cuban crocs left in the wild (possibly even fewer), they need to be breeding with their own species to make more Cubanitos.

These. Make more of them.

But what scientists have found is that not only are there hybrid crocs in the wild, the Cuban population of American crocodiles is more closely related to Cuban crocodiles than other populations of American crocodiles, suggesting this has been going on for a very long time.

You can read more about that here if you want, but back to the gay alligators.

Alligator? More Like Alli-GAY-tor, amiright?

(actually that IS wrong it's more like alli-bisexual-tor, but that doesn't sound like alligator)

So how does a study like this happen? Back in the 80s, the American population was Feeling A Way about alligators. Something that you gotta understand when you're doing any kind of conservation is that people protect what they love, and they love what they understand. Alligators are a major conservation success story today- there's millions in the wild- but they were in serious danger of extinction in the 1960s, and it was a combination of legislation, awareness campaigns, and captive breeding at both zoological parks and commercial gator farms that helped bring them back. As a result, they were one of the first species to be de-listed from the ESA!

All of this attention meant that alligator science was flourishing in the late 70s and 80s, and that's where this study comes into being. This post is long enough so I'm not gonna go into all the details and methodology- you can find that in the paper I linked up top!

However, there is one piece of methodology we should talk about, and that's the choice of study population. It's part of what makes this particular study so interesting!. See, in a lot of cases, captive behavior really differs from wild behavior. This can be impacted by captivity conditions- what other animals the study animal has access to, what behaviors the animal has learned in captivity, even down to things like how the animals are fed. For example, some courtship behavior in captive animals can be the result of unnatural habitat conditions or limited social groupings. If you only have access to a couple of conspecifics, you don't have the same choices that you do if you have access to something closer to a wild population. If you've got a breeding group with one male and a handful of females, you can't ask or answer any questions about male/male interactions! Crowding is also an issue- too many animals in a space can be stressful, and lead to atypical sexual behavior.

But that's one of the cool elements of this study: the alligators in question live in a large social group in a lagoon that's basically just natural habitat with a boardwalk going around it. It's about as close to studying a wild population as you can get, with the advantage that it's far more accessible. And what this leads to is that that the researchers were able to see a really wide range of behavior, because all of the alligators had lots of access to lots of different mates. They were able to make choices that you wouldn't see in a smaller group. There's a trade-off that Vliet notes, and that is the population density and captive situation means that results might not quite work out the way they do in the wild- but in the years since, the results of the study have been vindicated with research into wild populations.

So, what are alligators into? Gay sex, group sex, yelling real loud, and lots and lots of... gentle caressing.

that's not a euphemism they spend a lot of time gently rubbing each others' faces

So first things first, it turns out that the vast majority of alligator mounting, which occurs after courtship behaviors like jaw rubbing, bellowing, head rubbing, and swimming together is male/male. Over the three year study period, an average of 68% of all sexual interactions were male/male. However, what they don't really notice is exclusivity, because when it comes to the sex of their sex partner, alligators... well. They aren't all that picky.

Another fascinating aspect of alligator courtship is what's called courtship groups. These are readily observed in captive settings (and in the wild, too, as mentioned in Dragon Songs), and are mixed-sex groups that spontaneously form. As other alligators approach a mounting pair, the original pair will happily split up and switch partners. Usually what happens is that the alligator on top slides off to initiate courtship with a newly-arrived individual. What's really interesting here is that, as the author notes, "males engaged in courtship with a female readily terminate that interaction and initiate interactions with males." Another fun element of alligator courtship is that while in most vertebrates, males approach females, alligator females often approach males. Usually it's the males approaching, but for many crocodilians, courtship initiation is an equal-opportunity affair.

Alligators are also really vocal during courtship! This is pretty unusual for a reptile- usually they're a quiet bunch. But crocodilians are pretty chatty. And during the breeding season, something pretty spectacular happens: infrasonic communication, better known as bellowing. This is sometimes called water dancing, due to the ripple patterns it makes. It's a loud, low-pitched rumble that conveys information about size and location, and is used for territorial displays and as a mating call. During the not-breeding season, a bellow means "stay away!" During the breeding season, it means "HOT ALLIGATOR SINGLES IN YOUR AREA."

Here's some pretty spectacular videos showing you what this looks and sounds like. The vibrations make the water above their backs splash up.

Alligators are also extremely tactile during courtship. The study has detailed analysis of touch in specific tactile zones along the head and neck of the alligators. Vliet notes "These sites have increased numbers of swollen pustular scale organs, the function of which is unknown."

What's kinda funny about this to me is that now, the functions of these organs are known- they're highly innervated tissues that help alligators detect prey in murky water. An alligator's jaws are more sensitive than a human fingertip due to the sheer number of nerve endings! So of course these areas are going to be highly sensitive, and to me it makes perfect sense that they feature so heavily in courtship.

So what can we take away from this 40-year-old study? Quite a bit! First, it's a great reminder that humans aren't special. We see same-sex mating behavior in pretty much every species we look at. We see it in cockroaches, spiders, and butterflies. We see it in sheep. We see it in alligators. We see it in every other species of great ape. Of course we also see it in humans! There's nothing that special about same-sex sexual behavior. It's a part of... pretty much everybody's evolutionary history.

Another thing I think is really important is that while this is an old study, it was absolutely pivotal as a turning point in helping people understand alligators. Remember how I said earlier that we protect what we love, and we love what we understand? This study showed the world that alligators weren't just mindless eating machines. They're socially complex! Understanding alligator sociality and how they choose mates and interact helped us care for them better. It told us more about how to keep them happy in captivity. Alligators are smart, communicative creatures. They don't always get along, but they don't always fight, either. (Don't get me wrong: they will fight each other, and they've actually evolved some pretty specific anti-other-alligator defenses... but they don't always fight, even during the breeding season.) This is interesting to me because in mammals, it's hypothesized that same-sex sexual behavior may have evolved for prosocial reasons; that is, it helps reduce conflicts. Perhaps it does the same for alligators.

In conclusion:

If you want to know more about alligator courtship and mating rituals, I can't recommend Vladimir Dinets's Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure Among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations highly enough. I know I talk about this book all the time, but it's easily the most accessible writing on crocodilian social behavior. It will change the way you think about and understand these animals.

Another phenomenal book is Alligators: The Illustrated Guide to Their Biology, Behavior, and Conservation by Kent Vliet. (Hm, wonder if he's written anything else...) This is basically the Bible for gator behavior. The photographs are absolutely gorgeous, too.

[graha-stan-account]

Things I learned from Encyclopedia Eorzea III

Do with this what you will, ffxiv fandom.

G'raha and the tower appeared about 15 years after the Flood of Light. Ardbert and team were all already dead. "Our" Minfilia had already dissipated.

At the time, he looked like his normal self. He is described as a Mystel dressed as a mage, so we can assume people knew he was a "Mystel" at the time, vs. later when his appearance is only speculative.

A bunch of refugees clamored to the Crystal Tower when it appeared. He said yeah you can hang out here, the tower defenses will keep you safe.

And then fucked off for 4 years to survey the damage of the Flood of Light.

When he got back he knew shit was really fucked and ASAP started trying to figure out how the hell to get the WoL over for pizza

At some point he figures out he needed to address the WoL verbally for some reason for the summoning to work properly???

It doesn't.

He decides this shit is gonna take 5ever and I'm already having a quarter life crisis. I'm going to bind my aether to the tower. It's the one secret anti-aging trick that has doctors PISSED

It'll be great, like, he'll almost never age.

Downside, his body slowly becomes necrotic with crystal.

More time lost because he has to use aether to discretely animate his crystallized limbs and digits to keep their use.

At some point, early Crystarium dwellers get tired of asking him for his name (he won't give it) and him rejecting the crown they offer him so they start calling him the Crystal Exarch.

Exarch says OK and wheels out some Allagan nodes to help build what would become the Crystarium. Go ham, guys.

Since no one really recalls what the Exarch looks like in present day, G'raha likely began wearing a cowl after returning from traveling Norvrandt, or when his body begins to change. Those who remember are likely dead (age or sineaters) or sworn to secrecy.

The developing crystal, which he did his best to hide, prevented him from truly connecting with the others.

Sometime after this, an infant Lyna falls into his care.

Well technically the Settlement Council (because he was like hey let's have a representative government [not because I grew up in one or anything!]! I'll just be over here.)

But he was very involved in her upbringing.

Probably because he was close friends with her parents.

Who die tragically while serving in the Crystarium guard (Meaning that the guard is at least 30 years old, likely more, as her parents were known to have served in the guard since inception basically and Lyna is 33 in SHB)

G'raha was probably in his mid-eighties at this point, judging by Lyna's age in SHB (33) and that we know G'raha had the Crystal Exarch title for 9 decades + the 24 years he had lived before he entered the tower. (He is likely slightly older due to the intervening time between being awakened in the Bad Timeline and heading to the First.)

He FINALLY gets summoning to work something like 90 years later!!!!! Except it still doesn't! Five years before he could nab the WoL, he nabbed Thancred instead (oops). It took another 2 years for it to successfully transport a soul again.

[simon-newman]

TIL I learned that the initial plans for Smaug in the Hobbit movies had him with four legs and a pair of wings like an actual dragon should be:

Supposedly the original design was still used in the first movie original cut and only changed to show winged forelimbs in the enhanced version.

what we ultimately got is the bat-like front limbs that serve as both arms and wings.

NGL. I still love him but there's this tiny voice at the back of my head saying "this is a wyvern".

Now. Why was the change made?

The official answer is:

"Originally, the dragon we envisioned was bigger. The idea was to get the fear through his bulk. In fact, if you go back and look at the first film and the scenes that he was in, he was actually a four-legged dragon because we just had him stomping through Erebor in all of those flashback scenes," Letteri said. "But we realized that once you saw him performing -- we especially got this from watching Benedict perform. He got down on the grown and starting slithering around like the way Tolkien described Smaug in the books, which is as a big worm. Once we saw Benedict doing all of that, we realized you can't have him be this four-legged creature with wings on him back, he needs to be two legs and his wings need to be his arms properly, as you would expect a creature to be like a bat or a bird."

So in order to make him move like Tolkien described they had to make him not fit the Tolkien's description of having four legs.

They made him less accurate to make him more accurate?

Plus. The excuse that he will be slithering around means he can't have four legs?

This is Fatalis - the most powerful monster in the Monster hunter franchise. It's an Elder Dragon with uniquely Draconic design.

Most regular MH monsters are some kind of a wyvern with four limbs. Elder dragons are different and like Fatalis many have six limbs.

Uniquely - Fatalis is the classic European dragon in terms of design - something that set him apart from other monsters in the franchise.

It is a monster and destroyer of kingdoms.

And he slithers around.

He can move in two ways - by lying flat on his belly and pulling himself forward with wings - in this case the forelegs are held close to his body.

The other method is to actually use the front limbs instead of wings. This gives him multiple means of movement depending on the situation and intentions.

He has a few more animations where he just lies flat or jumps forward - both ending with him flat on the ground and able to stand up easily. Those are attacks that intend to crush enemies with his entire body.

Four legs don't interfere in the slightest with all those movements.

The excuse is weak.

It is just my theory but seeing the recent push for "realistic" design for dragons I personally blame the Game of Thrones.

It began airing too late for the first movie to be changed as the production was likely in a very late stages.

Second one tho? Yeah. I could see how they implement the idea based on G.R.R. Martin's design.

For REALISM.

Of a mythical, flying, fire breathing monster.

I'm just waiting for "realistic" dragons appearing alongside creatures like gryphon and pegasus with the same excuse being made.

...

Thank you to listening to my rant.

[sillygoofyqueer]

You know what I'm in your inbox for...

Can I get some JiuYuan route for LeviathYuan? Pretty please??? 🥺

It absolutely does not need to contain cucking I prommy. If everyone is happy I'm... also happy, as long as it also contains JiuYuan 🤭

For you, my first wife, of course I have a JiuYuan route for our freaky demon Leviathyuan <3<3<3 Before I start, I want to mention that this route of Liu Qingge finding Leviathyuan occurs before Luo Binghe comes to Cang Qiong Mountain, so do with that what you will (also, I can make another route as well if you want Shen Jiu being the one to find him :3) Okay, so I kind of set up a perfect JiuYuan route because I was expecting this ask to come eventually - sooner rather than later - and it starts with Leviathyuan and Shen Jiu being in close contact with each other because Shen Jiu is of course trying to teach the demon human language so it can properly communicate its feelings and needs. (He's not doing it for those reasons exactly, he is once again doing it because he was goaded into it.) Of course, Shen Jiu hates people being in his private space, so they start out their lessons in Qing Jing's library, because it makes perfect sense for such things to take place there. However, Shen Jiu notices that there is an influx of disciples from other peaks using the library around the same times he hosts these lessons (he can only assume that they know about the schedule through rude and invasive means (they asked the Qing Jing disciples)), so it's obvious that they're spying on the lessons between him and the demon for some fucking reason, and he gets increasingly pissy about this matter as this goes on. However, he's not going to back down and throw them out of the library, because that would imply that he was doing something wrong. Meanwhile, Leviathyuan doesn't have a clue what's going on with these strange humans, but he does notice that the scowly green robed human becomes more tense and agitated whenever there are tiny humans with robes that aren't green in the place where they store all the paper with symbols on them. We all know that aquatic animals, as well as communicating through sound and such, can actually communicate through body language as well, so Leviathyuan is honed in on such things almost naturally, and that's how he's been getting a read on the people around him. He views Shen Jiu as a possessive, territorial animal and adjusts his own body language accordingly so that he isn't viewed as a threat (becoming small and unassuming). Shen Jiu, who is a possessive and territorial person, feels rather at ease around Leviathyuan because he's rather pathetic out of water, all curled up and naturally smaller due to his strange posture (imagine the animalistic body language actually soothing you, L!!). While he views Yue Qingyuan's patheticness as being pity or guilt driven, Leviathyuan has no reason to react in such a way, and therefore can only be natural! (Note: he has not talked to Mu Qingfang about Leviathyuan's humane biology, his opinion would completely change about the demon being pathetic and weak if he knew). While it's obvious to Leviathyuan that the scowly human is uncomfortable with people encroaching on his space and knows how to adjust to that, nobody else seems to, and so he takes it upon himself to find a way to get the intruders out of Scowly Human's territory. How? He acts nervous and works worse around those wearing different coloured robes, therefore giving Scowly Human a reason to kick tiny humans off his peak because they're affecting Leviathyuan's learning, which is counter-productive!! Shen Jiu notices this - it's obvious in how Leviathyuan was absolutely fine with disciples from other peaks being around until Shen Jiu became visibly more frustrated (he knew from the start but he didn't realise why until later) - and is rather...flattered. Of course, he's offended that the demon thinks that he needs its help or anything to feel at comfortable on his own peak, but he's never had someone go out of their way to appear weak and vulnerable to others for nothing but his benefit. It's a strange feeling. It's irritatingly nice. (Let me know if you want me to keep yappering about this one, because I veered completely off my notes and am having fun with this one!)

[tenaciousarbiterpoetry]

Freaking out about the Skeletour show in Glasgow

Peacefield is a Banger

I got so excited that they were playing Majesty that I didn't immediately notice he was FUCKING FLYING. My sister was like omg flying and I was like omg Majesty and then we were both like OMG HIS MAJESTY!!!! I had joked before about him flying with the sparkly wings (which didn't make an appearance) and then he was doing a fucking defying gravity!!!!!

The new stage is phenomenal, it just keeps getting BIGGER. first the curtain with giant rips in then the new stage with stone plinths for the ghouls and lights everywhere including under the drum riser. Then the stony walls fell down to reveal the usual stained glass windows and then the stone archways fell down and nearly took out Mountain. Then it was revealed that it was actually a massive LED screen and the stained glass windows shattered and were rebuilt and shattered again. They mixed the live camera feed with animations and sometimes lyrics on the screen it was epic!

Phantom did crowd work (into pinnacle I think) as he was having a lot of fun getting us to cheer for him and clap along to the right beat.

I started noticing the double kick drum during Ritual and after. I don't know enough about drums to say what was different it just was more idk (I can't remember when he talked about having that on the new album, maybe I'm just having the hallucinations he said we would have during Spirit)

The costumes are gorgeous!!! The sparkles really work, especially on the camera feed. I adore the skeleton cassock with the spine down the back, I wanted him to sing the whole song facing upstage so I could see it properly!!! The cornette/mitre hat started to slip sideways mid song and he did a sneaky little reach with his hand the feel what was up then left the stage between songs and returned sans hat. Tbh I preferred it a little lopsided but you do you mate. And now we know why the full vestments have such impractical skirts, you don't need to walk gracefully if you are floating above the drum riser.

We were in the gods so we couldn't fully appreciate the GIANT MOVING truss grucifix of moving lights but she's a work of art. We could see the labels in the trucks as we left and they had a whole truck just for floor lights (the under drum riser lights are gorgeous) and they had at least 3 trucks just more for lights. No idea how to pack a giant moving truss of moving lights into a truck but I imagine they have a system. Also at least 3 trucks for set and one just for fascia.

There were several moments of total darkness (well as much as safely would allow) and that was atmospheric and spooky. (Like we were waiting in the night?)

Fucking cowbell ghoul is back for Umbra did not see that coming

Lost my shit when they started playing Umbra I've been waiting fucking months to hear more than the opening bars!! I cannot wait to hear it again properly (it's only 9 days not that I'm counting)

Hearing everyone belting Lachryma, Satanized and The Future is a Foreign Land was something else, and the emotions in The Darkness at the Heart of my Love and He Is !!!!!!!!

Monstrance Clock is back too I didn't see that coming either and I'm so happy!!!! And the little smirk he did when he got to say "conclusively, I give you Monstrance Clock" for the second time in YEARS, knowing we were about to lose our collective shit, was yet another wonder of no mask papa. And we did lose our shit. And the lyrics up on the screens kept us all singing after they left the stage!! I've wanted to experience that moment since I found Ghost and learned they didn't play it anymore, but now we do!!!!

We got sad about it ending and he was like "you can go out and tell everyone about the amazing time that you had. Or at least you can tell everyone about the amazing time that I had"

He really didn't talk that much, though we did get the encore speech. "Do you not know how this works? How this works is we stop playing, and then you leave."

He got his I/we/they/him mixed up which is always funny like "back at the assembly where we, no they, well I suppose I'm part of it now so we, and I thought, no they thought-"

There was a delay letting people in and my theatre brain wants to know what technical issue stopped them opening the house?? Was he stuck in the air?? Was the moving grucifix of moving lights refusing to move?? Did the LED screen decide not today satan ??

He name dropped The Cathouse but didn't know if it was still running and then was like "I know a lot about the past, but I don't know much about the future" and then straight into The Future is a Foreign Land. Musical theatre levels of speech into song and he said "this is a song my dad used to sing to me" and they changed it to 2034 (I had wondered if they were going to change it to 2025 and have a new rhyme but that works)

And I can't remember the transition into Kiss the Go Goat but it was also musical theatre levels of speech into song

[hudsonpatootie]

Bubbling thoughts

My last post about what it would be like to date Jihan and Jibeom made my mind explode with ideas—so many that I'm trying to write something for them. But for now, I'll just share a few loose thoughts I had about what a relationship with them might be like.

Warning: In this post, I'll be referring to both of them (choose which one you want to imagine in these situations). Later, I'll write separately, prioritizing the individual personality of each one. :)

Dating these guys is like being transported into the game Stardew Valley, where you aren't the protagonist but rather the single NPC they chose as their romantic partner. So, sit back, relax, enjoy the peaceful countryside, and watch their attempts to win you over.

As boyfriends, Jihan and Jibeom would visit you almost every day. Even with their duties of taking care of Chungcheong-Do and the family business, they would always make an effort to spend time with you. They would constantly gift you natural and handmade products, which you would use to prepare meals for them in return as a way to express affection. Over time, the boys have learned your tastes: artisanal honey and jams? Yes, please! Pet snakes or companions in the bath? -10 friendship points.

Romantic dates to celebrate milestones in your relationship? YES! They are hopeless romantics, and for them, the perfect date consists of taking you on tours around Chungcheong-Do, showing you the landscapes and animals in the countryside, and taking you to visit the beer and honey productions they manage. Sometimes, they would also take you to other provinces, like Seoul, where you would enjoy urban outings—shopping, going to the movies, and spending quality time together. If you're dating Jibeom, you'll definitely want to buy clothes for him. He’ll insist he doesn’t need new clothes, and you'll insist even more that he does. As the relationship becomes more serious, they would invite you to a more intimate date—a herbal and mineral salt bath, which would later become part of your routine together.

The Kwak brothers are very transparent with you regarding their duties in Chungcheong-Do and even their involvement as members of the second generation. They explain the basics of the dynamics between generations and groups but make sure not to involve you directly in these matters. They want you to continue living a peaceful life and would never forgive themselves if the relationship with them brought you problems.

Don't be fooled—Jihan and Jibeom always try to maintain a tough facade, hiding their feelings behind smiles and confident words. But in reality, both carry deep pain from the loss of Jichang. That pain has turned into fear—they are terrified of losing another person they love. It will take a lot of conversation and understanding to break down those walls until they finally open up to you about their fears, feelings, and insecurities. When that happens, your relationship will only grow stronger, and you'll both be certain that the only thing you want is to spend the rest of your days together.

In short, dating these two is a 10/10. They are incredibly sweet—a little impulsive, as was evident during their debuts? Absolutely. But nothing that a few good conversations can't solve. Please, PTJ, bring these men back! I need more content to write about them with more coherence!

PS: Hi everyone, how are you? This was my first attempt in years at writing something. I think the last time I did this, I was 14 years old and writing BTS and MHA fanfics, but that was quite a few years ago laughs. Please forgive any spelling mistakes—I'll try to improve.

I'm also using a translator since English is not my native language, so sorry if the translation sounds a bit off. Another thing is that I struggle with structuring my text properly. Tumblr is barely used in my country—I think I've only seen about four people from here using this platform—so I'm trying to learn how to use this app better (it took me five minutes just to find where the drafts were) and how its features work to improve the structure of my posts.

I think that’s all. Thanks for reading this far:)

[anna-no-emma]

You know those Son of Batman, Batman vs, Robin animated movies? Like the ones that introduced Damian to the DC animated movies ecosystem?

Well, they really bothered me when they came out. It felt like everyone was being unfair towards Damian, borderline cruel. And I do understand these are extraordinary circumstances. Literal lives hang in the balance because your dealing with an 11 year old ninja-assassin. But let me lay out what got to me.

Firstly, I hated the way he was trapped in a house by people he did not trust. It's not the same as being grounded. With grounding, normally, the groundee understands the perimeters of the grounding. They know they are in no real danger, they know the grounding will end, and they are allowed to go to school and/or go out with a parent if it's weekend/holiday.

This is not the case for Damian. All he knows is he is not allowed to leave a house that belongs to a semi-stranger. He does not know when it will end, not really. And while he probably doesn't feel threatened by the bats, due to believing he is more dangerous than them, he is surrounded by grown-ups he doesn't really trust. Any person is going to feel uneasy under these circumstances.

And, this is my second point, the grown-ups aren't really explaining anything to him. They are laying the vague parameters of what they want out. But no-one is like checking in with his take on it all or his feelings.

They're also doing the equivalent of when someone tells you to get ready or you will be in trouble, but you don't know if that means showering, or just dressing, and what venue you should be dressing for. And they take you asking them as 'giving them attitude' because of course you know what they mean, it's so obvious, so they get cross instead of breaking the task down for you. Very long, very autistic-specific example but you get what I mean. You can't do something you don't know how to do.

And Damian is difficult and dangerous, don't get me wrong. And you need experience really talking to 'difficult' children who don't like explaining their feelings/thoughts to have any idea how to approach this.

And, yeah, the odds of Damian taking any of it on board are basically non-existent. But it's just unfair to dish out punishments without setting up clear guidelines, that you make sure the child understands, you know? And to assume certain things are obvious.

I guess I'm also looking at it from a culture shock perspective (obviously ninja-assassin mountain land doesn't really fit into the diaspora cannon but stay with me). Like when you come to a new country, you don't know what the norms are. You either learn through humiliation or through someone kind showing you.

And nobody bothered to show Damian. They just said some vague things to him that didn't even slightly fit into his framework of how the world works and then beat him up a whole lot and then just expected him to trust that they were right about everything.

They gave him no grace, not the way they would have given an immigrant or a tourist or a hot, red-headed alien that learns languages through sucking tongue (btw, said alien was defs murdering when she rocked up in the movies. It just wasn't people that she was killing so it was, apparently, all good).

And, yes, again this is a stabby-murder kid so the stakes are different. But for the love of god, explain things to him, properly, before you beat him up.

And Damian doesn't comes from a talking-about-your-feelings-and-tell-your-dad-your-feelng-rejected place. He also comes from a hurt-or-be-hurt place. And a place where criminals do get killed. That is due process. He doesn't necessarily have an understanding of why democratic due process is like that because he literally grew up under a dictator, you know?

And again, I'm not saying that he would have taken any of these things on board even if they had explained it. I'm just saying that they could have communicated better and laid out parameters better. And, yeah, if they had it wouldn't have been such a dramatic movie.

But I just don't like this idea that only Damian is to blame for this situation. Damian is just a kid having a somewhat valid, albeit deadly, crash-out given the circumstances.

[eldritch-nightmare]

Dom / switch / sub headcanons for all the creeps? (like who’s a Dom, who’s a sub, yada yada)

a/n: i'm honestly not sure if i explained any of these properly because they sorta just make sense in my mind but here u guys go i hope u can see my vision. second time writing nsfw content teehee hope i did a good job <3

dom/sub/switch headcanons.

includes: slenderman, jeff the killer, eyeless jack, laughing jack, jane the killer, nina the killer, the bloody painter, candy pop, the doll maker, jason the toymaker, dr smiley, nurse ann, the puppeteer, clockwork, zalgo, hobo heart, ticci toby, zero, kagekao, nathan the nobody, homicidal liu + sully, and laughing jill.

warnings: minors dni, nsfw discussion, inconsistent word length, mentions of the following: praise, degradation, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, asphyxiation, overstimulation, dumbification, fingering, very brief mention of a corruption kink in sully's part.

SLENDERMAN is none. it isn't interested in sex whatsoever. the thought never even crosses its mind, and it will turn down any and all advances. it has no desire to partake in sexual acts with anyone.

JEFF THE KILLER is a dom but that's not a surprise. he prefers being the one in control, and will more than likely never be willing to sub during sex. it also feeds his ego a bit, seeing you squirming underneath him, begging him to fuck you until his name is the only thing on your mind. he likes having this type of power over you.

EYELESS JACK is a switch. he doesn't really have a preference. if you want him to dom you, he'll make it to where you can't walk in the morning. if you want him to sub, he'll be a whining, moaning mess underneath you as he comes undone.

LAUGHING JACK is a switch. he has fun doing both! he's always willing to mix it up. whatever you want, he's willing to be. i actually kinda imagine sex with him will be a little difficult?? y'know, pointed nose, long nails that he can't clip. i'm not entirely sure how certain aspects of sex will work with him but... i imagine you guys figure something out.

JANE THE KILLER is a sub. you would think that she would be a dom but hell no she needs to be treated like a princess during sex. definitely a bratty sub for sure. she's the type to say make me when you tell her to behave.

NINA THE KILLER is a switch. she's definitely a softer dom, always so gentle and praising you so sweetly as she cares for your needs. and when she's the sub? then she is the sub. she becomes a whining, needy mess as she begs you to use her, wanting to be good just for you.

THE BLOODY PAINTER is a switch. honestly, i think he's a virgin so in the beginning of your sexual relationship with him, you would definitely have to take the lead more often than not. he comes to learn that he doesn't really care if he's a dom or sub.

CANDY POP is a dom. through and through. he's a hard dom, at that. he'll deny you orgasms and he'll have you fucked stupid before he finally lets you cum. he degrades you as well. look at you, taking his length so well. it's almost like you were made to be fucked like a slut.

THE DOLL MAKER is sex repulsed. for a variety of reasons, vine is repulsed by the mere thought of sex and will vehemently avoid and turn down any advances made toward him.

JASON THE TOYMAKER is a dom. this also probably isn't a shock, given his nature. he definitely leans more towards being a soft dom, but if you want him to degrade you and use you as a toy then all you have to do is ask. he's eager to please you.

DR SMILEY is a dom. i haven't written much about him but he definitely doesn't seem like a sub or switch. i think he enjoys being in control, and he definitely likes having you at his mercy.

NURSE ANN is a dom. you couldn't get her to sub for you even if you tried, i'm sorry. ann is like a fucking animal when it comes to sex man her stamina and endurance are crazy. she'll have you forgetting your own name.

THE PUPPETEER is a non-partaking dom. he doesn't feel sexual attraction but he's not against helping you get off if you beg him to. he directs you on how to please yourself all while praising you for being a good listener. and maybe he'll end up degrading you a bit too, who knows.

CLOCKWORK is a switch that doms more often than not. she rarely ever subs, finding that she derives more pleasure when she's dominating you and making you scream her name. when she does sub, she's a lot more needy than you'd expect. she's a brat too.

ZALGO is a dom. he's also a hard dom, though i don't think that's shocking to anyone. he's the type to praise you while he degrades you. he'll leave marks on your skin as well, and he'll fuck you until you're in tears because you just look so adorable when you cry. he's an aftercare king tho don't worry.

HOBO HEART is a sub. trust me guys he's a desperate and needy sub. he's so so so sensitive and he'll be coming undone even if you don't touch him. he'll be a crying and drooling mess by the time you're done with him, and the praise you give him for being so good just makes him feel so, well, good.

TOBY is a switch. he just wants to please you in any way he can. if that means pinning you down and filling you up until you're both exhausted or letting you use him to satisfy your needs, then so be it. he doesn't really care as long as he gets to please you.

ZERO is a dom. she absolutely lives for the control she has over you in the bedroom. she'll probably manhandle you, to be honest, she loves how easy you fold to her touch alone. she's also the type to praise you while degrading you. and if you're into it, she'll probably choke you.

KAGEKAO is a switch that doms more often than not. sex is really just another way for him to tease and play with you. he likes having you beg for release, and he loves overstimulating you. but sometimes the tables may turn. it'll be rare, but you very well can get kagekao on his knees begging to worship you.

NATHAN THE NOBODY is sex repulsed. it's just not something he's interested in, and the thought alone tends to make him feel nauseous, to be honest. if you want, you can go and fulfill your sexual desires through someone else.

HOMICIDAL LIU is a switch that subs more often than not. and trust me when i say that he will worship you. his only goal is to fulfill your every need in any way that he can. most of the time, it's him begging you to let him fuck you while you tease him. however, sometimes, when he's the dom, he will fuck you so hard that you end up a dazed, babbling mess only able to get out a jumbled mess of please and don't stop. AND HE'S SO SWEET ABOUT IT TOO god he praises you the entire time, acting as if he literally isn't rearranging your insides right now.

SULLY is a switch. sully just goes with the flow, to be honest. he doesn't lean towards being a dom or a sub, he just is. one moment you could be fucking him until the only thing he can think about is you, and then the next he could be fingering you while marking your body up and making you beg for him to fuck you senseless. and honestly, he probably has a corruption kink tbh.

LAUGHING JILL is a sub. she is so desperate and needy, eager to please you and do whatever you want her to do. she'll cry, she'll beg, she'll be a brat, she'll do anything and everything to get you to touch her. she loves it when you praise her. she just wants to be a good girl for you <3

[alexanderwales]

Alright, here's my dream Stardew Valley style game, designed for my own tastes.

You come to a small town with the usual twenty to thirty people. It's in the middle of nowhere. It's a fantasy town, and no one actually farms anymore, partly because it's only questionably profitable, partly because a lot of the knowledge has been lost. Instead, everyone uses these magic doodads which are very powerful but also very limited. The tavernkeeper has a doodad that makes him a single kind of weak ale and a single variety of off-tasting wine. The clothier has basically a square mile of linen to work with, and everyone wears her drab clothes. Tools are made from a doodad that the blacksmith owns, not even made of any actual metal, just a material that wears away after a month and needs to be replaced by a new copy from the blacksmith's doodad. People get their meals from the doodads. They get their medical checkups. It's all a bit shit.

Because I'm a worldbuilder at heart, I would have this all exist in the wake of a large-scale war that depleted the town of its fighting-age population, with the doodads being a sort of government program to ensure that more of the lifeblood of the town could be drained away. And for there to be some reason for the town to continue existing, perhaps the government is harvesting some resources necessary in the creation of doodads. That's enough for a pro-doodad faction and maybe some minor drama with them, though I do like the idea that the only reason things are Like This is because there was a war and things got bad. It's not necessarily a bleak town, but there's definitely a listlessness to it, a "what's the point".

So you're a farmer, but no one is really a farmer anymore. Maybe there are a few books, but you don't learn farming from books, you learn it from practical experience; that's a lot of what this game is about. When you start, there's no one to buy seeds from, there's just a bunch of wilderness where farms once stood, now all long overgrown.

So you go out and forage, for a start, and you clear the land, and you pay attention to the plants and how they can be used, and you start in on making recipes with them, maybe with the help of your grandfather's old, partially incomplete books. You find some wild corn that's a descendant of the old times. You find some tomato seeds in an urn. You discover potatoes because you see them dug up by a wild boar, which itself was once a domesticated animal.

In my ideal game, you need to pay attention to the soil quality, to how far apart things are planted, to what crops work well together. Farming is a matter of companion planting and polycultures. You get some chickens by giving them consistent feed, and you keep them around because they're natural pest control. Your climbing beans climb the stalks of your maize. You're attracting pollinators. (From a gameplay perspective, yeah, we probably put this all into a grid, and you have crop bonuses from adjacencies, and emergent gameplay that comes from all that, some plants providing shade, others providing nitrogen fixing.) You're a scientist making observations about the plants, maybe with your incomplete book giving you confirmation on the nature of all your crops once you hit certain production goals or a perfect specimen or whatever.

Cooking is the same. There has got to be a system that I like better than just "combine tomato with bread to get tomato bread". I'm pretty sure that it's some variant of the actual process I use when cooking, which is making sure that things are properly cooked, balancing flavors against each other, adding in a little salt or acidity or umami or whatever. Time in the kitchen, in this game, is often about making meals, ensuring that if you have a fatty piece of meat you have some asparagus that's coated with lemon to go with it. (From a gameplay perspective, I think building the dish once is probably sufficient and it can be automated after that, and building the meal is the same. I don't want to play this minigame every time I'm cooking a dish, I just want to play it a single time until I have good knowledge of the best way to grill a BBQ chicken breast with a homemade sauce.)

But if we're having a little minigame here where we pay attention to how long we're cooking the kale to make sure that it's the right texture, and we're paying attention to abstractified mouthfeel and palette, then we can get something else for free: variation. See, you're not just cooking to get an S grade, you're cooking for people with different tastes. The cobbler has a sweet tooth, the librarian loves fruity things, the mayor cannot stand fish, that sort of thing. From a gameplay perspective, maybe we represent this with a radar graph with some specific favorite and least favorite individual flavors, and maybe it's visible to the player, but the important thing is that player gets feedback and have a reason to strive for both "good" and "perfection" and some of this is going to depend on the quality of the ingredients.

And this is, gradually, how the town is brought back into the fullness of life. You're not just cooking for these people, you're also selling them food, and they're making their own recipes, and all the stuff that's not food is making their businesses not suck anymore. After the first test keg of ale goes swimmingly, the tavernkeeper wants more, a lot more, and puts in an order for hops, wheat, grapes, anything he can use to make things that will improve nights at the tavern. The clothier will skeptically take in wool and spin her own yarn, and then eagerly want more, because how awesome is it to have a new textile? There's a chemist who is extremely interested in dyes and paints, and wants you to bring him all kinds of things to see what might be viable for going beyond the ~3 colors that the doodads can provide.

So by year two, if you're doing things right, you're the lynchpin of the revivalist movement. People are now moving to the town, for the first time in decades, because they hear that you're there and doing interesting things with the wilderness. Maybe there are other farmers following in your wake, but maybe it's just new characters who are specifically coming because a crate of wine was shipped to the capital city. Maybe some of them bring new techniques for you, or a handful of plants from a botanical garden, and there are new elements for the minigames, or maybe some automation for the stuff that's old hat.

I think something that's important to me is that there's a reason for the crops you plant and the things you do. I always like these games best when it feels like I'm doing something for someone, when I can look at a plot of cabbages and think "ah, those are the cabbages I owe to Leon". Where these games are at their worst, everything is entirely fungible and I've planted eight million blueberries because they have the highest ROI.

And yeah, in most of these games, there are other minigames like fishing and mining and logging and crafting, and since this is just a blog post and not a game, I definitely could massively expand an already sizeable scope.

I think for mining the player would use doodads of their own, and maybe you could make a mining minigame out of that, using the same planting tile system to instead create an automated ore harvesting machine that plumbs the depths of the earth (possibly dealing with rocks of different hardness, the water table, and other challenges along the way).

Fishing is a question of understanding the different fish species, what they eat, where they congregate, and then setting nets or lines, since I have never met a fishing minigame I really enjoyed. Again, there's some idea that the player is gaining information over time, building up a profile of these fish, noticing that some of them go nuts when it rains, understanding the spawning season, that they go to deeper water when it's cold, etc.

Crafting really depends on what you're crafting, but if you're reintroducing traditional artisan processes to this town, then people are going to need tools and machines and things. I'm not sure I know what a proper crafting game looks like. The only experience I have to draw on is wood shop, where I made wooden boxes, cutting boards, and picture frames. Since this is an engineering-lite puzzle-lite game, you could maybe do something in that vein, e.g. defining a number of steps that get you the correct thing you're trying to make, but ... eh. I love the idea of designing a chicken coop, for example, or building a trellis if I want my climbing beans to not need maize, or whatever, but I don't know how you actually implement that. There are definitely voxel-based and snap-to-grid games where you build bases, and I tend to find that fun ... but it's mostly cosmetic, for the obvious reason that doing it any other way than cosmetic requires programmatic evaluation, which is difficult and maybe unintuitive. The closest I think I've seen is ... maybe Tears of the Kingdom? Contraption building? But I don't know how you translate that to a farming game. Maybe I should ask my wife about this, because she's always doing little projects around the house (an outdoor enclosure for our cats, a 3D-printed holder for our living room keyboard, a mounting for our TV).

Making an interesting crafting system is difficult, which is why pretty much no one has done it.

And if I'm talking pie in the sky, without concern for budget or scope, I want the villagers to all have a mammoth amount of writing for them. I want petty little dramas and weird obsessions, lives that evolve with or without my input, rudimentary dialog trees that let me nudge things in different directions. This is just an unbelievable amount of work on its own, it would be crazy, but I would love having a tiny little town game where sometimes other people would fall in love. I would like to be invited to a wedding, maybe one that happened because I encouraged the chemist to hang out with the clothier, and in the course of working together on dyes, they fell in love. With twenty people in town and another ten that come in over the course of the game if you hit the right triggers, I do think this is just a matter of having a ton of time/budget. You write tons and tons of dialogue so there's not much that's repeated, you have some lines of conversation between characters that are progressed through, you have others that trigger off of events, and then you have personal relationships between NPCs that can be progressed through time or with player intervention. Give single characters a pool of love interests, have their affections depend on their routine which depends on what's changed in town ... very difficult to do without spending loads and loads of time on it though.

Anyway, that's one of my dream games. No one is ever going to make it, it would be a niche of a niche, and as scoped here, is too much for a small team to ever actually finish, let alone polish. But it's the sort of thing I'm imagining in my head when I think about playing Stardew Valley and its successors.

[foone]

Alternative names for humanity along the lines of "Homo sapiens" (Wise man) and "Pan narrans" (Storytelling Chimpanzee) that I'm too lazy to look up/make up Latin for:

chef ape

throwing ape

walking ape

The idea being that we're apparently unique in the animal kingdom in that we cook our food, so we're the Chef Apes. We're also one of the best animals at throwing things: humans have more accuracy and strength when throwing stuff than other apes, by a long shot

And apparently our ability to walk slowly for ages was key to our early survival as persistence predators. We can't outrun a gazelle or mammoth or whatever, but we don't tire easily and so we can just keep following it until it runs out of stamina

Pan basipila: the baseball playing Bonobo

If only baseball had a cooking element, it would be the perfect Human Sport.

We need to devise a sport where you cook something, follow someone for a long time, and then throw it at them.

The most human thing is the surprise pie to the face

Also as much as I like Terry Pratchett's suggestion of "Pan narrans" I wouldn't be surprised if we turn out to not be the only animal that tells stories...

Elephants. I bet elephants do.

Like, there was that case where an injured elephant went to a ranger station for help. One it had never been to before, but other elephants had.

The theory being then that some other elephant had told this elephant "hey if you're hurt, go here, the humans will help"

That, combined with how they have burial rituals (some which might indicate there's an elephant religion!), and that we're working on figuring out how elephants communicate...

It wouldn't surprise me if we learn sometimes in the next decade or two that "oh yeah, elephants tell stories too. They've got FICTION."

So "Pan narrans" isn't what I'd want to bet on as our uniquely human thing.

But at the end of the day, maybe the whole idea of there being a uniquely human thing is, in itself, just another story we're telling.

So maybe it is a good fit after all.

But I especially like the idea that we're the Baseball Ape because I have this image in my head of a galactic council of aliens. Some angry alien who looks like Cthulhu had a baby with a spider has the floor, and they're ranting about "why do the Hu-mons deserve a seat?"

The Crogath are stronger, the Eldru are smarter, the Cybernetic Essense lives longer, the Dromans go farther and faster, the Moltriri have us beat in fiction and poetry, what is so special about these damn bipedal fleshbags that makes them unique in the universe?

And then WHAM. Right between the eyes. A handheld translator device, a bit bigger than a modern smartphone, beans the speaker out of nowhere.

And there's an (untranslated) yell in the chamber as the prime representative calls for order.

"WE CAN THROW, MOTHERFUCKER!"

(it takes a while to properly explain the insult. Crogathi (especially drones) don't really have mothers or sexual reproduction, so they don't really get why that would be an insult. It's finally translated as something like "bud-biter")

and it's true. even after the World Series becomes the Galactic Series, no non-human team ever manages to win.

The Eldrul Librarians almost make the cut in 2486 but accidentally piss off the ghost of Colonel Sanders and end up inheriting the Hanshin Tigers' curse.

alien textbooks describe The Colonel as some kind of human patron deity of baseball and cooked avian food, who should not be disrespected at all costs, or his vengeance from his place beyond the grave will be swift and punishing

(they're right)

"Look, we can't PROVE he was why Gemini Noctis went supernova unexpectedly, but given the protests that had happened right beforehand, and the incredible powers ascribed to the human spirits, do you really want to risk it?"

the funniest possible future: humanity gets a key place in galactic politics because we're never able to adequately convince the universe at large that our ghost stories are just that, stories, and they're terrified shitless that we'll unleash spectral torment on them

"humans? look man, living humans are a pushover. you can easily rip them in half, crack their planets with a quark bomb, their ships are little more than tin cans with a tachyon drive taped on the side. but it's not the living humans you have to worry about... it's the ghosts."

"humans are a bit like the Nontilek, with a two-stage lifespan, a grub and an adult. What you think of as "adult" humans is just their infant stage, and they only fully transform once they "die". Once fully hatched into Ghost form, their powers are almost limitless."

you want humans off a colony planet and bomb them from orbit? good luck, now you have a few million ascended humans who can pass through solid matter and can't be killed, and they will never rest until you and your descendants are gone or dead.

you don't believe me? look at this: One of their most popular stories is about them building an empire that spanned a large chunk of their little planet, then having it MURDER THEIR OWN GOD.

It only worked for a few revolutions, and he just came back, promising that one day all of them would join him in the next phase of their lifespan.

They still, to this day, thousands of orbits later, erect little statues of the means they used to execute their deity.

not even the Crogathi, who literally worship death itself, tell stories that frightening to their newly hatched grubs.

Humans are scary, man, stay away and just give them whatever they want.

the rest of the alien's education on the dangers of humans is just a selection of human movies. the sixth sense, poltergeist, ghostbusters, the shining, the devil's backbone, and, of course, field of dreams.

ghosts AND baseball? it's everything they're scared about humans all in one package!

the obvious twist you could do, of course, is simple:

the aliens are right.

humans are a two-phase species where the elder form has immense power but leaves communication and decision making to the younger form, which will be confused and angry if you acknowledge the presence of their elder-stage members among them.

this often leads to them cutting off contact or their elder-stage members causing immense damage through seeming "accidents" on the contacting vessel. This is believed to be some kind of religious prohibition that they are not able to explain.

so it's official contact protocol to pretend you cannot perceive the elder-stage humans among them, and to give them what they want to avoid possible retribution.

No means to combat elder-stage humans has yet been found, and the limits of their power is not known.

All alien captains are required to study the fate of the SS Ennolon, which contacted a lone human craft in the galactic year of 12,783. They had initiated contact and were getting along fine, until the human showed the Droman captain a picture of their "late father".

Captain Droless, accounting for the difficulty in telling humans apart, then pointed at the father sitting in a chair nearby and said "That is them, correct?".

The human looked at the chair, reacted in confusion, then anger, and asked the contacting crew to immediately leave.

It was another 400 cycles before contact could be reestablished between the Droman Federation and the Human Alliance.

the intergalactic guide describes humans as a powerful race of immortal energy beings who have the strange habit of sending their larvae out on missions around the galaxy, occasionally contacting other races, but refusing to acknowledge their elders, except in stories

they seem to frequently put their young in dangerous situations without lifting a hand to help, so this is suspected to be some sort of pilgrimage or coming-of-age ritual.

(From a twitter thread on October 1st, 2022)

[hobiebrownismygod]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MORE SUNSHINE/INNOCENT READER X HOBIE ITS MY LIFELINE I NEED IT PLEASEPLELPSPLZOLSPSLSPSLSKLSPSLSLSLSLSLSLSLZLZLLZLZPLSSPLSL PLEASDEEEEEE IM BANGING ON THE CASTLES WALLS HURUEHEGEH🙏🙏🙏🙏

this took me forever to respond to I'm sorry 😭 im glad you like this trope tho! Thank you for requesting <3

Hobie Brown x Sunshine!Reader

☆ It took his S/O months to muster up the courage to tell him they liked him only for him to straight up go "cool. Are we a thing now?"

☆ They're not one for confrontation and can get pretty shy so he's always there to be the blunt one!

☆ For example, when one of their coworkers kept calling them the wrong name, and they were too shy to correct them, Hobie was the one who told them and made sure the coworker learned his S/O's name properly 😭

☆ His S/O was extremely embarrassed but there was nothing they could really do about it at that point (Hobie was extremely proud of himself for doing that and made sure they knew it)

☆ His S/O doodles whenever they get bored, especially on their arms and legs. They draw cute little animals and flowers and things like that and Hobie absolutely loves them.

☆ He likes to carry around a marker with him so if his S/O ever gets bored, they can draw! He always has his arm out ready to let them draw on him, because even tho his S/O is a little hesitant about it, Hobie LOVES letting them draw on him. They're like little mini tattoos that remind him of them!

☆ Whenever he goes and puts graffiti on walls and buildings outside, he brings his S/O along so they can draw one of their little doodles on the side!

☆ Whenever someone that knows Hobie sees one of those murals/spray paintings, they can always tell it was his because of his S/O's little doodles in the corner!

☆ He also taught his S/O how to spray paint so they could come with him. When he first taught them how to spray paint, they weren't able to figure out the right amount of pressure to put on the spray, so he'd hold their hand and help lead them in the right direction for the first few paintings

☆ He would stand behind them, one hand on their waist, the other hand holding the bottle steady while his S/O stood in front, eyes slightly squinted as they sprayed the paint all over the walls, getting it everywhere

☆ He loved getting to wipe the paint off their face after every painting. His S/O never understood how so much paint could get on them in such little time, but they didn't mind. Hobie was always there to clean them up.

☆ His S/O also loves to read and is always curled up in bed reading a book in their free-time. They're a very expressive reader, and their face always changes whenever a new character pops up or when the plot starts to thicken. Hobie loves watching his S/O read.

☆ Sometimes, when he's really craving some affection, he'll come up behind them and cuddle them while they're reading, nuzzling his head into their shoulder while they smile, eyes glancing down at him before going back to the pages

☆ He'll also let his S/O curl up in his lap, or use him like a comfy chair while they read. He's a pretty skinny, boney person, but he can turn into the softest chair when he wants

☆ Hobie hates phones. He hates when people are on their phones when with friends. He hates when people are looking at their phones when he's trying to talk to them. His S/O knows this and makes sure to never have their phone out when he's around, so he can have their full attention. He loves that.

☆ He loves when his S/O listens to him. He could rant on for hours about whatever he wants, whether its capitalism, or some new gizmo he's building, but his S/O will always be there to listen to him, nodding along and smiling.

☆ Sometimes when he's been talking for a long time, he'll suddenly realize just how lucky he is to have someone so attentive with him. He'll stop talking and his S/O will be confused for a moment, only to be pulled into a hug and a kiss within seconds, trapped in his long lanky arms.

☆ He loves giving his S/O surprise kisses, watching their expression light up and their face turn hot. He'll come up from behind them, arms wrapping around their waist and pulling them in, to leave soft kisses peppering along their cheeks and lips.

☆ Sometimes he'll hide when his S/O comes home, just to jump out from around the corner and tackle them to the ground, covering their face in hundreds of sweet pecks.

☆ And on some rare occasions, his S/O'll attempt to do the same. Sadly, his spider-sense keeps him from getting surprised, so he always knows when it's gonna happen. He pretends to get surprised anyways, because he thinks it's cute when his S/O giggles while on their tiptoes, trying to reach his lips.

⋆｡°✩

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