#I'm going to be looking through my boxes for stuff later today

[mysterious-dark-shadow]

I sometimes re-read posts from "The Before Times": from before the Sewage Flood of '22, before we discovered the Slow Methane Leak that had been gassing the house for YEARS, before Felix was officially diagnosed with HOLE IN THE BRAIN.

This specific post was during a time when we were desperately trying to figure out why things were getting better in some ways and so much worse in others. Felix especially was dealing with mental and physical issues that should have gotten better after he quit his super stressful job.

The information we have now doesn't invalidate the conclusions Felix came to in the original post: his hormones were all over the place & his diet needed changing. And responding to those issues helped eliminate some symptoms that were specifically related to those problems. The changes helped him have a clearer head a year later when I ended up going crazy* from methane overexposure.

The fact that we had been working with doctors for several years actually helped us out a lot when it came to Felix's migraines. When we finally got to a neurologist, he could see that we weren't chasing painkillers. He ordered the MRI for Felix's head that we had been trying to get for soo long. And fought insurance to give us the prescription that actually made a difference in the severity of the migraines Felix suffers from.

And today we have a much better handle on our physical and mental health. We learned how to talk to each other about what's going on in our heads. We learned so much about how to help each other physically. We know what it looks like when one/both of us are suffering from methane exposure, and how to get the gas out of our living environment, so we can actually unpack boxes of stuff that we haven't touched since early 2022.

We are literally getting our past back. There are art projects that Felix was in the middle of that were boxed up alongside the reference books that were sitting on the same table. Trinkets and keepsakes that were on the shelves of bookcases and cabinets from our adventures, separately & together, are finding new spaces in our apartment. Our dried boutonnieres from our wedding day were briefly on display and then quickly put in a cabinet because our cats are rose-eating monsters.

Sometimes I wish I could reach back in time to 2020-2021 us, but I don't know what I'd say. What we went through in 2022 was horrific. We are still picking up the pieces. What kind of warning could prepare past-us for what was to come?

And then I remember a strange encounter we had early in 2021. We were in the beginning stages of our channeling experiments. I was the channeler for a specific entity that had previously given us advice that had turned out to be prophetic, so Felix at some point asked them, "What is the most important thing we should know for our future?" The entity made a painful grimace that made my face ache for a few hours afterwards, then said, "Keep going. No matter what happens, just... Keep. Going." They refused to elaborate, and Felix dismissed the entity soon afterwards. We were puzzled by the cryptic nature of the message and the swirling mass of negative emotions - anguish, fear, anger, regret - that my body felt at the moment the entity grimaced. But we followed the advice, reminding each other that we should "keep going" when times were difficult and situations seemed impossible to overcome.

I now realize that I don't have to reach back in time to warn anyone. Someone else already did. And now I pass on that advice to you in hopes that it helps you as it has helped us so many times:

Keep going. No matter what happens, just... Keep. Going. _____________

*I'm not using that phrase lightly. I completely lost touch with reality and ended up in a hospital psych ward for 12 hours. The hospital didn't handle me well (symptoms hand-waved as "THC overdose" with no tests confirming that diagnosis...), but the event did shock me back into reconnecting with reality again.

Having Mental Illness

It’s hard to talk about my experience with mental illness sometimes because I’m not diagnosed by a professional for “everything I have.” For instance, in my household we all know that I have depression and anxiety, but it’s not really nailed down on my medical chart whether I have Generalized Anxiety or Major Depression. I’ve talked to my doctor about my anxiety, my “moods” as it is usually termed in the doctor’s office, and had my spouse at my side during the discussions, and been prescribed Zoloft for my symptoms even, and the takeaway has been:

My doctor doesn’t want to diagnose me with a mental illness, because no one wants to figure out what the insurance will do. Or what the protocols for it are. Or what the exact diagnosis should be. My therapist had further insight there: finding someone who can make the right diagnosis for me is one thing. But there could be several different diagnoses for what I could have, depending on what treatment plan they wanted to bill for, or what my insurance covers, WHICH CAN CHANGE.

And all this time, we’re just trying to live this and figure out how to do right by me and the body and brain I have.

It’s why I keep thinking I need to explain myself here. There’s no catch-all term for whatever it is that I have. There’s a lot of medical interactions between my hormones, my mood, my sleep cycle, and my information processing ability. Sometimes at 2AM I decide it’s time to read a paranormal encyclopedia, and that’s just because my body is not going to be good at doing anything else at that time, because that’s what the chemicals in my body say to do.

So, I mentioned my hormones–one reason I’ve been quiet is because I don’t want people to think that transitioning will cause you harm or that transitioning people are “crazy.” But I’ve had some severe mental health effects from my hormones being way off-balance at times, and I’m finally able to talk about it. One reason I’m able to talk about it again? I’m finally GETTING my hormones.

Last year when I switched to topical rub-on testosterone instead of intramuscular injection, it was because I was unable to do the shots anymore. My needle fears ramped up and I had to switch over. Well, turns out the absorption was never working right for me because I was getting allergy injections in the same area as I was rubbing the cream on, and apparently the testosterone got into my bloodstream instead of the lymph system, and made my levels seem incorrect? Gods it was nuts. Anyway my insurance cancelled rub-on hormones on January 1 with no warning anyway, so it’s a good thing I was planning to switch to subcutaneous injection. Which I did yesterday after being without my rub-on hormones for 3 days.

My body feels like a submarine that goes up to get air and down to dive below at times completely dependent on my hormone levels and nothing else, and my hormone levels basically all last year were bonkers. It destroyed my sense of time right as I and everyone else were all locked in our homes. My stress has ramped with the news cycles, making me unable to sleep some nights until my body finally exits hypervigilance.

There’s not a cure for this, or any single diagnosis, or a treatment other than to take care of myself and keep going.

I’ll keep going.

I want to open up more about my mental illness experience, and what it does and how I get through it, but I’m going to warn you that my mental illness doesn’t follow the discourse. It fucks the discourse. I’m a person who has decided to stop driving because I don’t like how I might react to the unexpected behind the wheel, and I still vote, I make big financial decisions, heck I make winning investment picks. Sometimes I can’t walk out my front door, and it’s not for any logical reason, and I even know logically with my brain at the time that nothing bad will happen if I go outside. Still, sometimes I can’t walk out my front door, and in those times I realize that I don’t actually have to. Because last year we as a household realized that I could no longer do the things I’d done all the previous years before, that something in my mind and body had drawn a line and said I couldn’t go ignore those boundaries anymore.

I can’t watch TV like a “normal person.” Ads really mess with me and so I often avoid commercial television, for instance. But I also have trouble sitting down and absorbing something on a screen, I’ll often have to walk around, or I’ll need to watch the show out of order, or see it “filtered” through commentary or memes, because that’s how my brain decided I was processing that day. But the conversation I have with my spouse about the subject at the end of the day is still rich and fulfilling, because I’m still having an experience of the subject, be it a show or a video game or a news event. I just take it in in a very particular way, and sometimes that way changes depending on my mood and a bunch of other factors.

Heck, my diet changes how much I can focus and think. We’re still figuring out what does what. There’s a lot of rabbit holes to chase down. At some point we discuss what’s worth putting up with versus what actually needs treatment, because when things aren’t very clear-cut you need to prioritize. Also, having a lot of different medical issues at once means that you sometimes get overwhelmed and don’t know what order to address it all in.

I communicate in GIF and youtube format on here sometimes because I don’t really have a way to articulate the feeling or thought I have other than to show something that seems to encompass it all in an abstract or more psyche-oriented way. I really enjoy being able to do that here, and to get out the things I really want to express in an environment where people let me experiment with communication. Thanks to all of you for that. Except the bots. You’re not sentient, and that’s kind of weird.

Oh yeah. Mental illness and its interaction with hormones. Are completely ruining my ability to plan things and have been for like half a year now. So thank. For your pati. Ence.

[heckyeahponyscans]

If you're downsizing and have new-in-box toys you don't want any more, consider donating them to a toy drive! You could really brighten a child's holiday!

[luveline]

hii hope youre doing well! could i request coworker!james where r comes in to work sick and he gets worried?

fem!reader, 1.3k

It’s getting old, the whole charade. James didn’t like you and now he does. You used to piss him off, now you don’t. Somehow, someway, he’s seen parts of you he couldn’t help but love, in your voice, how you talk; in your hands, your touch; in your emails worst of all. Who ever thought that James could fall in love on Outlook? 

Dearest desk mate,

Where are you? It’s 9.45 and you aren’t here. You realise work starts at 8.30? Besides my worry, I need the invoice for Lang and Co. and Remus doesn’t have them either.

You’re my only hope, 

James

You email back a stringy fifteen minutes later. 

James, 

I’ll be there soon. I can’t attach the file from my phone but I will send it to you the second second I get there, I know you asked meyesterday. I’m sorry for holding you up .

James reads your email with a frown. Your typos are unlike you. He wonders if perhaps you’re texting and driving, which is abhorrent, but you walk into the office a minute later, so you must’ve been responding to him as you walked. 

You duck straight into the manager’s office. James can hear you say sorry before the door is fully closed, craning his neck for a good look at you. 

Remus laughs shamelessly. “Worried about her?” 

“About who?” he asks, even as his chair creaks and threatens to snap under his weight, leaning back to see you through the frosted glass. 

“She’s not going anywhere now she’s here, James. Nobody stops by for social visits.” 

James relents when he realises you may be in there for a little while. The rain today is aggressive against the window, condensation dripping down the windows to pool atop the radiators. You hate it; you love the radiators when they’re working in the winter, but sad summer days with rubbish weather bog you down. Either way, the condensation wets your elbows or gathers on your desk —it’s not nice. James grabs a wad of tissues from the box on his desk and begins his quick mission. 

“Oh, my god. Jamie, you can’t be serious.” 

“I'm avoiding electrocution.” 

“You’re cleaning up for her,” Remus says, putting his face in his hand to watch him with a softer smile, “it’s nice of you, really, but you can’t expect me to pretend I believe you when you say you don’t like her for much longer if you’re going to do stuff like this.” 

“Now say that five times fast.” 

His heart drops when you clear your throat, caught, sodden tissue in hand. You don’t eyeball him, there’s no scorn, you clear your throat again and all but collapse into your seat. 

“Hey,” James says. 

You tip your head back. “Hi, James.” Your eyes are bloodshot, and, to James’ surprise, you aren’t wearing a lick of makeup. You look very pretty but very tired, too. 

“You okay?” 

Remus bends around the desktop. “Yeah, are you okay? 

“I’m fine,” you drop your head back with some vertigo, and press your hands to your eyes. “I’m not very well, is all.” 

“What’s wrong?” Remus asks. 

“Just poorly. Um, I have a bad headache, and my ears are ringing, but it’s not unmanageable. I’m full of sudafed.” 

“Can’t you go home? We can manage without you until you’re better,” Remus says.

“I had all that time off a few weeks ago,” you say. You’d been ill not so long ago. 

“You can have some of my sick days,” James says immediately. 

You rub your eyes hard enough to make James’ ache in sympathy. “Doesn’t work like that.” 

“You really shouldn’t be here if you’re sick,” James says. 

“I won’t get you sick, I promise. I brought hand sanitizer, I’m not sneezing or coughing, I’m just aching.” Your movements are lethargic as you lean back in your chair, the slow roll of your shoulders and the limp cross of your arms over your stomach hard to ignore. 

James rounds the desk to chuck his tissues in the little bin beneath it. “I don’t think either of us are worried about you getting us sick, lovely.” 

Your face crumples quickly and neatens up again just as fast. “My head just hurts,” you say, rubbing your forehead. You manage to summon a wobbly smile despite your pinched brows. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” 

If it were Sirius, James would thrust a bottle of water and a pack of ibuprofen at him and tell him to chill out. It it were Remus, the expression would turn his heart, and he’d give his friend a good pat on the back. You aren’t Sirius nor Remus, you’re not so close to him that James knows what to do, but what use is he if he doesn’t try?

“Can I make you a cup of tea?” James asks. 

“That’s cruel,” Remus says, “your tea is like milky disappointment.” He stands with a smile James hates, some playful conniving mixture with good intentions deep, deep down. “I’ll make it. James, why don’t you turn the radiator?” 

“Is that okay?” James asks. 

“What?” 

“Do you think that’ll make you feel better, the radiator?” James asks. 

“I can do it.”

“No, it’s okay, it hurts your hand. I’ll turn it up.” He weaves back in between your chair and the radiator. Your desk is close enough to be faced with your thighs, but James doesn’t get half as distracted by them as he does your twitchy face. 

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks. 

“You and Remus worry too much.” You give him the side eye. “Why do you care?” 

“I think we’re a little bit past pretending we don’t like each other, aren’t we?” 

He turns the radiator on with less struggle than he’s anticipating and holds his hand to the bottom until he feels the metal warming. “Tell me if that gets too hot for you,” he says, standing. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s no problem.” 

“No, really,” you say, rubbing the bridge of your nose, “thanks for worrying about me. I’ll feel better in an hour.” 

“Did you eat breakfast?” He brings his hand up to wipe a stray fibre from your cheek, “Why were you late?” 

“I…” Your eyes follow his hand as he lowers it. Emboldened, James raises it again, wiping at a phantom fibre. “What is it?” 

“Little hair on your cheek.” 

“I slept late, and I felt strange in the car so I parked for a bit, and… I don’t know. I should’ve stayed home, but you know what he’s like about sick days.” 

“You feel alright now, other than the headache?” 

“Just heavy.” 

James spots Remus coming back and steps away. “You’ll be alright, okay? Don’t worry too much. Do some of the top spreadsheets and we can manage the rest.” 

“You don’t have to do that for me.” 

James does, really. Remus gives you your mug of tea and one of the plastic wrapped muffins from the kitchen, both boys keeping watch over you like a vigil. If you were well enough to notice you’d complain, but you spend the next few hours sipping at your tea as it turns cold, and nibbling at little bits of muffin, clearly tired. 

You email James the Lang and Co. invoices four hours after he’s asked for them with a sorry and a frowny face emoticon. James wants to kiss you on the forehead, feels it so strongly it becomes a different kind of wanting, to look after you and for you to want him to do that. He’s in way too deep. There’s not much he can do. 

“You want some more tea?” he asks, leaning over to grab your discarded mug.

“Yeah, please, Jamie.” 

James’ fingers wobble around the mug. 

Remus glances up from his phone. 

“Of course,” James says, smiling, “coming right up.” 

Jamie, he thinks. Friends call him Jamie. He can be your friend, he’d love to be your friend, but Jamie. Even sick, you say it sweetly. He trips over himself trying to get what you asked. 

[pickingupmymercedes]

London Boy - Lewis Hamilton

Part of 1K Jukebox Event

song: London boy - Taylor Swift

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

genre: fluff and christmassy

a/n: I just had to incorporate Christmas into this, London comes alive.

wordcount: +2k

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

It started innocently enough: a quiet morning with the smell of the coffee I was sipping, my mind half-heartedly scrolling through some of yesterday’s work emails and Roscoe sprawled at my feet, living his best bulldog life.

I had a plan—a simple one really—to find the Christmas decorations buried somewhere in Lewis’s London townhouse and get a head start before I had to log on for work. Simple, right?

Wrong.

The first box I opened contained a jumble of outdoor lights that had more knots than my last relationship.

The second? A single, lonely stocking with "Lewis" stitched in glittery red thread. Roscoe, perched nearby, watched me with the kind of judgment only a dog could muster, as if to say, This isn’t going to cut it.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I muttered, tugging at a particularly stubborn tangle in the excuse of a tinsel. “It’s not my fault your dad doesn’t know how to Christmas.”

“Please tell me there’s more,” I muttered, sifting through the pile.

Ten minutes later, I had exactly one usable string of lights and even those were iffy. Roscoe tilted his head, his expression unreadable but clearly unimpressed. “C’mom, you live part time here too, buddy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lewis’s voice floated in from the doorway, and I turned to find him leaning against the frame, still sweaty from his morning workout.

I gestured dramatically at the underwhelming collection of decorations spread across the living room. “This. Where’s the rest of it?”

He raised an eyebrow. “The rest of what?”

“Your Christmas stuff! You’re telling me this—” I held up the sad, glitter-bald stocking. “—is all you’ve got?”

“Well…” He scratched the back of his neck, clearly trying to figure out the least incriminating way to answer. “I’m not usually home in December.”

“That’s not an excuse.” I folded my arms. “Where are the ornaments? The lights? The reindeer?”

“You mean the inflatables?” he asked, his mouth twitching into a smile. “Yeah, I don’t do that.”

“You can’t be serious,” I said, holding up the tinsel like it was a crime scene. “Where’s the Target around here?”

Lewis smirked, crossing his arms. “You’re painfully American, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me for wanting to salvage your dignity,” I shot back, though I couldn’t help smiling.

“Okay, no Target,” he said, crossing the room and taking a seat beside Roscoe, who immediately shifted to rest his head on Lewis’s lap. “But if you really want to do it right, I’ll show you how Londoners do Christmas. No plastic snowmen required.”

“What have you got in mind?” I said, eyeing him suspiciously. “I need to work in a couple of hours”

He stood, dusting off his hands. “Call in sick, it’s an emergency apparently."

By the time we were ready to leave, Roscoe was snoring in his dog bed, having made it very clear he actually had no interest in braving the London chill for a day of wandering. “I’ll make it up to you later, buddy,” I promised, scratching his ears. “Extra cuddles tonight. Deal?”

He snorted but didn’t open his eyes, which I took as a yes.

“Ready?” Lewis called from the living room, where he was lounging on the sofa, scrolling through his phone.

He was wearing a black hoodie under a long coat, a beanie pulled low over his curls, and a pair of sneakers so understated they were practically anonymous. It was a far cry from his usual fashion statements, and I couldn’t help but grin.

“Look at you, blending in,” I teased, grabbing my coat.

“Laugh all you want,” he said, standing and holding out his hand. “But I’d like to get through today without anyone noticing me.”

He could’ve passed for any handsome Londoner with his toned-down attire and hands stuffed casually in his pockets. I, however, couldn’t help feeling like I had a flashing neon sign over my head reading: Not local.

We opted for the ‘tube’ over driving, partly because Lewis claimed it was faster and partly because he knew arriving in a Maybach was bound to attract attention.

But as we descended into the tube station, I noticed his posture shift slightly. He was alert, scanning the crowd with the ease of someone used to blending in but always watching for that one double-take.

“Do people ever stop you on the streets?” I asked, glancing around as we boarded the train.

“Not as often as you’d think,” he said, keeping his voice low and pulling me closer under the guise of adjusting my scarf. “Just don’t want us to get stopped.”

As the train rattled along, I found myself relaxing. A few people glanced our way, but no one seemed to recognize him—or if they did, they were polite enough not to say anything.

It was also midmorning, the kind of lull between commuter rushes where everyone seemed too distracted to care about celebrity sightings.

As the train rocked gently along the tracks, I caught Lewis studying the map on the wall, his brow furrowed like he hadn’t ever lived here.

“You lost already?” I teased, nudging him lightly.

“Not lost. Just making sure I don’t get us there too quickly. You wanted the experience, right?”

I rolled my eyes but smiled, leaning into his side as he draped an arm around my shoulders. Maybe I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but there was something comforting about being here with him, about how easy it felt to slip into this little bubble where the world didn’t exist for a while.

It was new—this whole “official couple” thing—but moments like this made it feel like it had always been.

Leadenhall Market was straight out of a storybook. The arched glass ceiling, the twinkling lights strung across shopfronts, and the faint scent of mulled wine in the air made it feel like Christmas had been bottled and poured out onto the cobblestones. It was a world away from the glossy, commercial buzz of a Target holiday aisle, and I had to admit—it was enchanting.

“I might give it to you” I said as we stepped into the main thoroughfare. “This is better than Target.”

Lewis grinned, shoving his hands deeper into his coat pockets. “Told you. Now, for some real decorations…”

“Okay, what’s the strategy here?” I asked, holding onto his arm as we wove through the crowd. “Do we start with ornaments or lights?”

“Lights,” he said without hesitation. “You’re going to be picky about ornaments. I can already tell.”

“You’re not wrong,” I admitted. “I have a vision.”

He laughed, and I felt a warm glow in my chest.  But the first stall that caught my eyes had a mix of antique ornaments and handmade crafts and I couldn’t help but stop.

Lewis crouched down to inspect a hand-painted bauble featuring Big Ben in a snowy London scene, holding it up for me to see.

“This one?” he asked.

“Cute, but I had something else in mind” I replied, scanning the table. My eyes landed on a set of ceramic stars painted in gold and white, each with a different constellation. “Now these are something else.”

He followed my gaze, his expression softening as he picked one up. “The stars, huh?”

“Don’t get all poetic on me,” I teased, nudging his arm. “I just think they’re classy.”

“Classy works” he said, adding the set to our growing pile of treasures.

By the time we left the market, my tote bag was overflowing with ornaments, candles, and a small wreath I’d insisted on for the front door. We found a cozy café tucked into one corner of the market, where Lewis ordered me something he swore was divine

“Yule log?” I asked inspecting what looked a lot like a mini jelly roll

“Just try it, it’s a lot more chocolaty than you’re giving it credit” He quipped, watching me intently as steam curl up from the tea cup in his hand.

“I could get used to this” I admitted after the first couple of bites

He leaned back in his chair, his beanie pushed up slightly as he regarded me with a contented smile. “Markets and pastries? Or me indulging your Christmas obsession?”

“Both,” I said, lifting my latte in a mock toast.

The Southbank Centre Winter Market was our next stop, and as we strolled along the Thames, the city lights reflecting off the water, I realized how much I loved this less flashy and slower side of London.

Couples and family walked hand-in-hand, vendors called out their wares, and the air smelled of roasted chestnuts.

“This is pretty nice” I murmured, leaning into Lewis’s side.

“Even without a Target?” he teased.

“Even without a Target.”

At one stall, he insisted I had to try Hot Toddy, a hot drink that tasted a lot like something my grandma made me as a kid to soothe coughing, only a lot stronger considering the Scottish whiskey used.

We wandered past stands selling everything from handmade soaps to quirky holiday jumpers. One vendor offered personalized tree ornaments, and I couldn’t resist commissioning one with both our names on it.

“It’s our first Christmas together” I explained when Lewis raised an eyebrow.

“Officially” he corrected, his tone light but meaningful.

I smiled, squeezing his hand. “You know what I meant”

Being here with him, like this, made me realize how much we’d grown into this new version of us. It wasn’t always smooth—nothing with Lewis ever was—but that’s what made it worth it. He wasn’t just letting me into his world; he was building one with me.

The day ended a lot closer to his house in Chelsea. Hyde Park Winter Wonderland was bustling, with strings of fairy lights crisscrossing the paths, and the distant hum of carnival rides mixed with the strains of Christmas carols from a nearby stage.

Lewis hesitated as we walked through the entrance, glancing around the bustling crowd.

“You okay?” I asked, noting the slight tension in his posture.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “It’s just… busy. You know how it is.”

I nodded, understanding. Being out in public like this was a delicate balance for him—trying to enjoy the moment while always being aware of who might be watching.

But as we moved further into the park, the magic of the place seemed to ease his nerves. He pulled his hood up a bit higher, keeping his hand securely in mine as we navigated the crowd.

At one point, we stopped to watch a street performer of this Christmas carol. Lewis’s features were light and carefree, and I found myself watching him more than the act itself.

There was something about the way his face softened in the glow of the lights that made my chest ache in the best way.

“Caught you staring,” he said, catching my eye.

“Shut up,” I muttered, trying to hide my smile taking another a sip of my hot chocolate.

“Can’t blame you,” he teased, leaning down to murmur in my ear. “I’ve been told I’m irresistible.”

I rolled my eyes, but my reaction betrayed me as I leaned closer into his embrace

As we walked deeper into the park, I noticed it—the way Lewis’s shoulders relaxed, his hood slipping back just slightly, letting the lights catch the edges of his profile. This wasn’t a side of him I often saw in public, and I felt a quiet kind of privilege in witnessing it.

We ended the night at one of the quieter corners of the park, sharing a massive pretzel while perched on a bench overlooking the ice-skating rink. The laughter of skaters echoing around us.

“This was a good day,” I said softly, resting my head against his shoulder.

“I’ve spent so many late Novembers in hotels or on planes. Christmas always felt like something other people did. The decorations, the markets… it just didn’t stick. But with you here? It matters again.” he said, his voice low as he moved from watching the skaters to pressing a kiss to the side of my head, his arm wrapping around me. “Next year, I’ll even brave Target.”

“This might actually be better” I admitted softly.

Lewis chuckled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Only ‘might’?”

“Don’t push it,” I warned, though I couldn’t help smiling.

He smirked, pulling me closer. “Told you. London knows how to do Christmas.”

And I couldn’t argue with that.

______________________________________________________________

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[mj0702]

You patted down the hallway still half asleep entering the kitchen where you stopped confused. Something was different but you couldn't pin point it. It... looked different. You shrugged it off still not functioning this early in the morning and patted over to the coffee maker. You pulled a cup from the cabinet while switching the machine on with your left hand which worked out semi fine. You put the cup down on the counter pulled open the fridge getting out the milk emptying some into the milk container from the coffee machine and put it back. That's when you realized what was off – the whole kitchen was spotless. No cups standing around. No used plates in the sink. No cereal boxes standing on the counter. No peels from fresh cut fruit. No nothing – spotless... the whole kitchen. You turned around confused to find the living room tidied up as well. The pillows on the couch laid out like a catalogue picture. The magazines on the table where laying in one place not like usual all over the living room. Narlas bed next to the couch – empty. You shook your head before making yourself a Cortado padding out on the balcony sitting down on Onas lounge chair overlooking Barcelona. You leaned back and enjoyed the little quiet time you had counting on your sister bursting through the door at any second coming back from her walk with Narla. You couldn't remember where Ona was but surely she had some media stuff or charity stuff or fan meeting stuff or whatever stuff to do. So it was Lucy & you day. That's okay. You could work with that – maybe you could guilt trip her into getting ice cream later. Ona banned ice cream from the freezer after Lucy and you had a ice cream eating competition and both of you got sick. For the whole night and Ona had to pick up the pieces that once resembled two tough Bronze women now whining for attention and care. You quietly drank your coffee then padded back inside washing the cup immediately before your sister was back and complained about you being messy.

Two hours later you got nervous. Lucy still wasn't back and her phone was off. You tried to call her a few times but no use. You were hesitant to call Ona since you couldn't remember what she was doing and you didn't want to interrupt a possible interview freaking out about probably nothing. So you called the next best person you could think of.

“Yes Kjæreste??” Ingrid answered her phone after the second ring

“Ehrm... hi... ehrm..” you suddenly felt very shy your mind going a million miles an hour why you called Ingrid instead of Alexia... or Olga... or Jenni for heaven sakes

“Kjæreste?? Is everything okay?? Are you hurt? Do you need me to come pick you up somewhere?” the Norwegians voice turned worried

“No... no I'm fine... but... I woke up two hours ago and Lucy still isn't home from walking Narls and I don't know what to do... I'm worried something happened... I don't want to call Ona since she's in some kind of stuff you guys have to do today...” you started to ramble and where met with silence from the other end “... I'm sorry... I'm probably just being stupid... just... forget I called... okay bye”

“Wait Kjæreste... don't hang up... give me a second...” Ingrid quickly said sensing you wanted to end the call

You listened as she quickly and quietly talked in spanish – too fast and too muffled for you to understand before she started to talking to you

“Mapí and I are on our way Kjæreste... you be good and stay put okay?!” the norwegian said and it confused you even more

“Oh god... something happened didn't it...” you paled and started to shake

“No nothing hap...” Ingrids reassurance fell short as you suddenly heard another voice

“Don't worry mi neña... we're on our way to pick you up... pack a bag okay... you staying with us” Mapí said and her happy voice calmed you down a little bit

“Where the fuck is my sister then??” you snapped

“Ehrm yeah... we'll have a meeting with Alexia as soon as we picked you up... we'll be there in ten minutes...” Mapí said and you heard guilt in her voice

“Ugh” you groaned but apparently you had no other choice “Okay...”

Exactly twelve minutes later the doorbell rang but when you tried to open the door you figured out it was locked

“Great Lucy... lock me in like fucking Rapunzel” you grumbled as you fumbled for your own key to unlock the door

“Hola mi neña” Mapís wide grin greeted you just as you opened the door

“You wanna tell me now what's going on??” you grumbled locking the door after you

“Alexia will do that” the blonde quickly said “I'm just here to help you with your... bag? No bag?”

“I would've packed a bag if I would've found one” your grumpy mood didn't rise with all the not informations you were receiving

“Ehrm... okay... uh uh uh...” Mapí said confuse first before she started to happily clap her hands “... we can go shopping later”

“Just...” you wanted do say something but didn't know what to said

“Come on.. Ingrid is waiting for us” the tattooed woman smiled widely

“Hola Kjæreste....” Ingrid smiled friendly as you slided into the back seat

“Hola” you grumbled

“What's wrong Kjæreste?” the norwegian asked as she started to drive towards Alexias

“I don't know... no one will tell me” you grumbled annoyed

“It's not our place lille venn... but you get your answers soon” Ingrid smiled softly not giving into your mood

The drive was just short of 20 minutes and as soon as Ingrid pulled into the drive way the door opened and a slightly stressed Alexia appeared in the door

“Buenos tardes Cariño” the blonde spaniard greeted you as you pushed passed her

“Yeah yeah... Buenos tartlet” you grumbled as you made your way into Alexias living room where Olga was sitting on the couch tipping away quickly on her laptop

“Buenos tardes pequeña” the dark haired woman smiled up at you before going back to her work

“Can somebody tell me know what is going on? Is Lucy dead... oh my god... she's dead isn't she...” you first grumbled and then got worried “She got herself killed didn't she?? Where's Narla... she's with Keira right?? Oh god... Keira... I should call Kei... why didn't I think of Kei earlier... wait... Kei is okay isn't she... I'm not an orphan ain't I....???”

“Cari...” Alexia said firmly gripping your shoulders so you looked at her “... breath.... calm down and breath”

“BREATH?? Kei AND Lucy are dead and you say “calm down and BREATH”??? Oh god... does Ona know??” you freaked out your breath coming out more and more rapid

“Y/n!! Breath!” Alexia said in her captains voice trying to get through to you “No one is dead – no one get killed”

“You think Ona will adopt me??” you freaked out further

“STOP” Olga now stood up freeing you from her girlfriends grip turning you around so you now had to look at her “Take a deep breath”

You looked at the woman with wide eyes but the shock of hearing Olga speaking so strictly with you made you do exactly what she said – so you took a deep long breath

“Bueno... again” the dark haired woman said more calm and you did it again “... muy bien”

“Now listen to me Cari...” Alexia came next to her girlfriend “... Lucy is very much alive... Keira too... and Ona too... and they all are very much on Vacation... and... and... and..”

“And what?” you squeaked out your breathing still a bit laboured

“... and they forgot that you were still at home” the blonde mumbled embarrassed

“They WHAT???” you screeched dumb folded

“The plan was that you're staying with Olga and I while Lucy and Ona went on holiday...” the blonde said calmly “... if you remember we talked about it about three weeks ago...”

“Yeah... I do remember now” you said still bewildered

“... so the plan included Ona and Lucy bringing you over this morning before they drive to the airport... they overslept this morning.... and rushed to the airport... and forgot... that you... where still... there” Alexia said embarrassed

“So.... so... they...” you stuttered “... I... home alone?? I'm Kevin?!”

There was a stunned silence before Mapí bursted out laughing which caused the rest of the women to started chuckling too

“Stop laughing... I'm Kevin...” you cried out in agony

“You're not Cari...” Alexia chuckled “... there was a misunderstanding”

“Did you have something for breakfast pequeña?” Olga now asked trying to distract you

“No....” you mumbled still a little upset

“Come on then... I'll make you some Huevo rotos con Jamon” the architect smiled pulling you away sending her girlfriend a look to talk to Mapí and Ingrid

“Uh... I want some too” Mapí perked up following until Alexia grabbed the shirt and pulled her best friend back

“No Maps... bad” Alexia scolded her voice light

“But... breakfast” the tattooed woman pouted

“You already had two breakfasts” Ingrid rolled her eyes at her girlfriend antics

“Three if you count...” Mapí said without thinking wriggling her eyebrows at Ingrid

“Stop talking” the norwegian interrupted her girlfriend quickly – and a little embarrassed

“Ew” Alexia deadpanned “... topic change... Lucy and Ona are gone for about two weeks... can you...”

“Yes” the tattooed woman quickly said very happily

“You don't even know what I wanted to say” the blonde spaniard looked at her friend confused

“We take her in... mi neña can stay with us” Mapí nodded happily

“What?? No... absolutely not” Alexia exclaimed “... she's staying here like Lucy and I discussed”

“She doesn't want to stay with you” the tattooed said as a matter of fact “... otherwise she would've called you and not me”

“She called me... not you” Ingrid pointed out

“We're a team... she probably wanted to call me but Ingrid is before Mapí in the alphabet and that's why she called you.. she knew I would be there” Mapí said convinced

“Yeah... sure....” the norwegian said not believing it one bit

“She's staying with us” Alexia interrupted before Maps could jump into a 15 minute monolog about how you wanted to stay with her “Discussion over”

“You can't just end over a discussion without respecting the other party” the tattooed woman said perplex

“Oh but I can...” the blonde answered sweetly “... I'm pulling the elder and capitan card”

“But...” Mapí looked defeated

“Discussion over” Alexia just said while Ingrid snorted behind her girlfriend

“You can always call me if she's mean to you okay mi neña?” Mapí said as she fought Ingrid who tried to shove her girlfriend through the door

“Yeah okay... thanks Maps... you're really a good spaniard” you smiled

“HA!!! YOU HEARD THAT PUTELLAS???!!! I'M THE GOOD SPANIARD!!!” the tattooed woman yelled towards the living room using her whole weight against Ingrid

“AND I'M THE PRETTY ONE!!! NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Alexia yelled back “And Cari... living room.. now”

“I didn't do anything!!” you screeched but shuffled down the corridor once Ingrid succeeded by poking Mapís side so she had to let go and the norwegian used the moment to push her girlfriend forward and through the door

“I didn't say you did... BUT... we have to talk about some things” the blonde said softly gesturing for you to sit down “... we're responsible for you and your well-being”

“... at least some one...” you mumbled as you plopped down on the couch

“Don't pequeña... you know neither of them meant it” Olga stroked through your hair as she passed the couch

“... as I said... we're responsible for you... so there are gonna be rules” the blonde said keeping her voice soft “... I want to know where you are when you're not with me or Olga... just if something happens I know where I need to go okay... just a short text nothing more... you don't have to explain anything just a short text where you are or going to be and we're good... if you break that rule I won't hesitate to drag you to any event I have scheduled for the next two weeks”

“But I don't wanna be on your boring events” you whined

“Then you inform me about your whereabouts and we're good” Alexia said smiling lovingly “... second rule... I want you home for dinner... if you can't make it you'll call or text – either Olga or myself”

“I'm not five” you grumbled

“Could've fooled me” the blonde smirked “.... rule no. 3 …. if you need anything or need to talk.. I want you to know that you always can talk to me or Olga okay...”

“Can I have some food?” you perked up making Alexia laugh

“Sure... Ona told me you like cuttlefish” the blonde chuckled when you looked at her with shocked wide eyes “... no?”

“Ew no!!” you squeaked disgusted

“Alexia....” you whispered waiting for a reaction “.... Lexia”

Other than a grunt there was no reaction at all

“Alexia” you said with more insistence shaking the Barca captain

“Qué?” the blonde mumbled sleepily

“Ale...” you shook the blonde harder so she would wake up a little more

“Sí?” Alexia sat up a little confused

“Ale...” you whined a little bit

“What's wrong Cari?” the blonde now asked worried

“I can't sleep....” you mumbled “... can I sleep here?”

“You... what?” Alexia looked confused

“She wants to sleep here...” Olga mumbled tiredly from behind Alexia “... so make space for her and both of you go back to sleep”

Before Alexia could reject anything you quickly shuffled your body in the small space between Alexia and Olga cuddling up to the brown haired woman as her blonde girlfriend turned around facing the two of you when a smile crept onto her face

“Don't even think about it Putellas” Olga said her closed eyes her voice a little muffled by your hair

“Motherhood suits you” Alexia grinned as she scooted a little closer seeing that you were asleep already feeling safe in Olgas presence

“We talk in a week again... this was just one day... she's a handful” Olga said and as she finished you got more comfortable ramming your elbow into Alexias stomach unconcussionly

“Madre mía” the blonde grunted

“Told you...” her girlfriend smirked

“ALEXIAAAAA!!!” you yelled through the apartment

“Yes?” the blondes head appeared in the kitchen door

“I'm hungry” you whined as you exit your room

“Jesús y María...” Alexia rolled her eyes “... is there a time where you aren't hungry?”

“I'm a Bronze...” you deadpanned “... of course not”

“I have another interview and then we can make something for lunch okay? 30 minutes top” the blonde said

“Can I have chips meanwhile?” you asked hopefully

“No...” the blonde shot that idea down quickly

“But I'm hungryyyyyyy” you whined loudly

“30 Minutes Cari...” Alexia tried to calm you down “... here... eat that”

“That's one big ass peach” you said with wide eyes your mood instantly increased

“That's a mango” the blonde said flatly

“Oh ew... soap peach.. no...” you threw the mango back at Alexia

“Cariño... please... I really have to do that interview” Alexia basically begged you at this stage

“Can I have a sandwich?” you whined again

“I just told you I'll make lunch in half an hour” the blonde look at you bewildered

“But I'm hungry now” you groaned

“ONE sandwich...” Alexia pointed her finger at you threating before turning to her laptop waiting for the online interview to begin – and it began right when she said “Single motherhood is so hard”

Needless to say she broke the internet that day with fans speculating about a possible little Putellas.

“I can't take her with me on Thursday” Olga said after she checked her calendar “... I have an important meeting”

“Mierda...” Alexia sweared glancing at you sitting on the couch munching on some churros Olga made for you watching some spanish soap opera “... I have the whole day full with interviews and media for Barca and Eleven”

“We could ask Ingrid” the dark haired woman said

“No... she's with me for Barca...” Alexia wrecked her brain trying to find a solution “... and I definitely won't leave her with Mapí... I have no desire to have to go to court for some shit they pulled off”

“Marta and Caro?” Olga try to find someone as well

“They're in Norway right now... visiting Caros family” the blonde mumbled her phone in her hand going through her contacts

“I'm out... I have no idea who to ask” the dark haired woman held her hands up in surrender looking past Alexia “Ay... stop jumping on the couch... sit your ass down or no more churros”

“But it's so enthralling” you answered your eyes glued to the TV

“I don't care... ass down” Olga said strictly and you slowly sat down again

“Again... motherhood suits you” Alexia glanced up from her phone smirking

“Don't Putellas... you fucked that one right up... single motherhood my ass...” Olga grumbled

“Not my fault they started early...” the blonde snorted before lifting her phone to her ear

“Who are you calling?” the dark haired woman asked

“My last resort for Thursday” Alexia mumbled waiting for the call to connect and when it does she didn't even bother with the typical hellos “... what are you doing Thursday Hermoso?”

[thir10th]

too many shoes - October writing challenge day 4

summary: moving in together was the best thing that could happen to you, however there'a this one thing you've been avoiding tw: none, this is pure fluff a/n: this is probs one of my most favorite things I’ve written, so make sure to lmk if you love it just as much! ❤️

It's only one week that you've been living together but most of the boxes were already empty and things are on its place, it was almost a miracle considering the amount of free days you have, and how effectively you had both worked it all.

The living room was for sure the hardest to put up, but since it was done, it was the centre of the house.

The big couch is enough to let you both lay comfortably on oposite ends, or at least it would be if you didn't prefer to be completely wrapped up on each other.

Emily's head rests comfortably on your shoulder, and you play with her hair absentmindedly and the movie almost finishing up.

"I'm never getting tired of it" you said, the rom com with the ending credits rolling on the screen being one of your favorites.

"yeah it's nice" Emily says with a smile plastered on her face, you kiss her on the head, sitting up to grab the remote.

"you know what i wish they did?" she says, grabbing a pillow and hugging it.

"hm?" you ask, turning the tv off and looking at her, her hair all sprawled out, her Yale hoodie and sweat pants, the pillow on her lap and a blanket over her shoulders. She looks so cuddly liked that.

The image of Emily like that- so sweet and calm, it's one you couldn't picture anywhere else that wasn't your now called home, you smile at her, that comforting feeling of your shared space feeling warm on your stomach.

"lesbian romcoms" she says, taking you out of your head "they don't do lesbian romcoms like this, only the sad, coming out, historical dramas, they're all so sad" she complains.

"yeah, you're right" you agree

"it would be so sweet to just have a silly meet-cute, or a love triangle, or an opposites attract with lesbians, i would watch it" you love her rambling so much, it makes you smile how she only choses to show that side of herself with you.

"I would gladly watch that with you, my love" you lower to kiss her lips softly, she grabs your face softly and you feel her smile against the kiss, her hands feel warm despite her usual cold fingers.

"you know what? I've got an idea" you say, separating from the kiss.

"do you wanna make our own lesbian romcom?" she asks, lifting one eyebrow seductively, it makes you laugh.

"no- I mean, yes, but later" you peck her lips and hold both her hands "we are gonna do... the closet" you announce, and you can see the moment it sinks in.

"oh, right now? c'mon, it's too much work, we got home early today, why don't we watch something else? a lesbian thing this time like The L word or something" you pull her, but she uses her body weight to stay sitting on the big couch.

"Oh c'mon Em, we'll do it together, and it will be super fast, c'mon let's go, i don't wanna shuffle through another box for my work clothes tomorrow" you pull her up against her efforts of staying seated, but eventually gives out, standing straight, wrapping her arm around yours for support.

The closet is big. Bigger than any other closet you've ever had. The walk in space can easily be divided for you and Emily.

The amount of boxes is probably bigger even than the kitchen boxes, which shouldn't come as a surprise considering the amout of shoes Emily has.

"ugh, we will never finish with all of these, it's too much stuff" she complains while shuffling through another box.

"we won't with that attitude, i'm sure, and also not with the amount of shoes here. Do you really need another pair of black boots? I swear you have like ten"

"First of all, that's an exaggeration, I only have 6, and second, yes, I do. Each one has its own personality.” she grins, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Ah, of course. I’d hate to stifle their individual identities.” you laugh, mimicking her tone.

She giggles "now you're catching up."

Emily reaches over to grab an item on the pile of clothes she's been separating. "Hey, have you seen my top that goes with this pants?" she asks, and you lift your sweatshirt to show her the small shirt"

"Oops" you say, and she smiles knowingly.

"I don't even know why we bother separating if you keep stealing all my clothes" she shrugs.

"Hey! You steal my clothes too" you try to defend, but Emily laughs, you know she was just teasing you.

"it's ok baby i don't mind, you do make everything I own look pretty irresistible.” she smirks.

“Flattery isn’t going to save you from this" you grab yet another thing from the pile of clothes.

"Oh, c'mon, i already came out of the closet when i was young, i don't want to enter it again" she smiles proudly of her own joke, and shakes her shoulders.

"And funny is not going to stop me from donating this one.” you say, throwing a shirt at her playfully.

“That was from when I was in Rome! You can’t get rid of my history!” she mock gasps, dramatically clutching the shirt.

“Fine, fine, it stays. But the next hoodie you leave on my side of the closet is officially mine.” you accept, folding a hoodie.

“Deal. I’m not even mad about that. You look cuter in them anyway.” she says, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

Teasingly, you raise an eyebrow “You just like an excuse to see me in your clothes.”

"Well, you're not wrong" she smirks, grabbing another shirt to fold.

After a while, you notice her eyeing a particularly vibrant red dress, its fabric shimmering slightly in the closet's light. She holds it up, letting it sway gently in front of her. “You know, I wore this on a date once. I thought I’d impress this girl, but she ended up being more into my friend,” she laughs, the sound light and airy.

“Hey, I’d be into you in that dress,” you say, the playful challenge hanging in the air.

“Really?” she teases, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “You think I’d look good in it? Maybe I should try it on for you...”

You chuckle, your heart fluttering at the suggestion. “I think it’s more than just the dress that would impress me.”

Emily’s cheeks flush a shade deeper as she bites her lip, her gaze playful yet earnest. “You know what? I think I will. And while I’m at it, we should plan on making our own romcom after this...” she adds, her eyes shining with excitement and mischief.

You nod, appreciating the thought. “Sounds perfect. I could use some of that after all this heavy lifting.”

“Oh yes. You're still wearing my clothes after all” she laughs, and winks at you, and then with a playful glint in her eye, she slips the dress off its hanger and heads toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right back!”

You watch her go, heart racing a little at the thought of her in that dress. A few moments later, she emerges, the fabric hugging her curves perfectly, the neckline just low enough to be enticing without being over the top.

"oh fuck-" that's the only thing that comes out of you when she steps back in.

“How do I look?” she asks, twirling playfully, the dress swirling around her.

“Like you just stepped out of a movie,” you say, your voice a mix of admiration and sincerity. “Seriously, you look stunning.”

Emily beams, her confidence radiating off her in waves. “I feel like I should be on a date or something.”

“Or starring in our own romantic comedy,” you suggest, your gaze steady on her, drinking in every detail—the way the dress accentuates her figure, the way she moves with such ease.

“Right? Like, imagine a silly meet-cute where I trip over my own feet and fall right into your arms,” she laughs, her eyes sparkling. “And then it turns into this wild adventure where we fight the odds and end up together, just like in those movies.”

“Definitely. You’d have to make it a happy ending, though,” you reply, stepping closer to her, feeling the magnetic pull of her presence.

Emily bites her lip, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Oh, I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she murmurs, glancing up at you through her lashes.

You take a moment to soak in her words and the beauty before you, feeling her playfulness. “You really could pull off that whole leading lady vibe,” you say softly, your heart racing as you lean in just a little closer.

“Maybe I could use a leading lady to match,” she replies, her voice dipping into something a bit more sultry. “What do you think? You up for the challenge?”

You can feel the warmth radiating from her, your heart pounding in your chest. “I think I can handle that,” you whisper, and without thinking, you close the distance, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. It’s tender, electric- the domesticity feeling so natural you could melt against her any second.

As you pull back, Emily smiles shyly, her cheeks still flushed from both the kiss, and the thought of it. She grabs your hand and pulls you outside “c'mon, let's come out of the closet- again"

You laugh softly, pulling her closer to you. "We don't need the straight romcoms while we have each other." you kiss her again, she hums against your lips, agreeing with you.

"And the L word, of course" you add, making Emily laugh.

“Sounds perfect,” she replies, her smile brightening the room, making it feel less like a space filled with boxes and more like your own little world, where everything was just right.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[sweetiesicheng]

mingyu - acting

word count : 1,119

-

once you park your car in mingyu's driveway, you have to mentally prepare yourself before going inside. after everything that happened before you left the studio, you aren't sure how to approach anything.

all of a sudden, you hear someone knock on your window and whip your head to see mingyu standing outside of your car.

"open the door," you hear him say.

you open the door and pull your legs out of the car to turn and face him.

"what happened on set?" he asks.

"it's that guy again," you say while crossing your arms. "he was being touchy in our scenes," you mention, "and he was just being weird today in general."

"did you tell someone?"

"yea, but they were all claiming that it made the scene look better. i just can't believe that!" you almost shout. "and i have to be on set at five in the morning with him," you add.

"i'll make a call. let's go inside," mingyu says to you, holding out his hand. you grab your stuff and take mingyu's hand as you get out of your car. "have you eaten yet?" he asks you.

"diet," you answer, leaving mingyu only to sigh.

"but did you eat?" he asks. you shake your head. "i have food in the fridge. let’s cook something," he suggests as you two walk into his home. "do you want to shower? you can wear my clothes," he offers to you.

you drop your belongings on a table and nod. "yea, if you don't mind," you reply.

"go," mingyu gestures with his head.

you leave to go upstairs to take a shower. mingyu waits for you to be out of his view before taking his phone out and calling someone.

"hello? oh director! i'm sorry if i'm bothering you," mingyu says when the call goes through. "how did the rest of filming go tonight? is that so? i'm glad to hear it went well. oh, well...how should i put this... nothing's wrong, but you know that new kid playing the boyfriend of the singer? yea, him. i'd watch him carefully. i was talking to another director, and they weren't happy with how his scenes ended up. just a warning, but i'm sure the scenes under your direction are fine. no, of course. don't go too crazy now, sir. actually, i might be on set early tomorrow. alright, have a good night. get some rest."

mingyu ends the call and starts cooking dinner. you're still taking a shower, trying to calm yourself down before going back downstairs.

after you're done showering, you go downstairs wearing shorts and one of mingyu's shirts. you go into the kitchen and find your boyfriend cooking.

"do you need help?" you ask mingyu. he looks back and smiles at you.

"no, it's okay," he says. "do you need to go over lines or anything?" he asks.

"oh, i should," you reply.

you grab your bag and take out your script. you sit at the countertop and review a few sections while mingyu finishes up cooking.

"you have all your scenes with that guy, right?" mingyu asks as he brings the plated food to the counter.

"huh? yea, i'll just deal with it. it's only for another few days," you say before sighing.

"i called the director," mingyu mentions.

"huh? why?" you ask, "i can deal with it, mingyu," you say to him with a huff.

"i can't help it when my girlfriend is in distress, especially if we're costars," mingyu says to you and starts pouring water into empty glasses. "i'll show that kid that he shouldn't be messing around and that he'll regret it big time."

"mingyu..."

"luckily, my character is intimidating as hell," he adds.

"yea, cause you're just a big puppy in real life."

"babe!" mingyu exclaims. he looks at you as you smile and laugh, realizing that you're starting to feel better after everything that happened earlier.

—

"babe! i got you a gift," he beams at you and hands you a box.

"hm? what is it?" you ask and open the box, to find a bracelet inside. you gasp, "it's so pretty," you say in amazement.

"it took me awhile to pick it out, but i'll buy you a ring later. i just thought this was too pretty to not buy for you," he says to you as he looks at you in adoration.

you look at him, "babe..."

"come on, let's go meet with everyone," he says and takes your hand into his before you two walk off.

"and cut! alright, let's move to the next scene."

you let go of your costar's hand and put the bracelet back in the box. you hand the box to an assistant and wait for the next scene to be set up.

"we did a great job," your costar says, patting your upper back. he leaves his hand on your shoulder, smiling at you.

"yea, glad we're done with this one," you reply before yawning. it's really early, and you're yearning for a cup of tea or coffee.

"you alright? do you want to sit down for a second?" your costar asks.

"oh, i'm okay. it's just too early for me," you reply.

"excuse me." you turn around and see mingyu walking up to you two.

"oh! sunbae!" your costar immediately speaks, "good morning. i didn't expect to see you today."

"good morning," you greet.

"oh, i reserved a coffee truck for everyone since filming started early today. you should get some to wake you up," mingyu says to him.

"i'll gladly take that offer. y/n, want me to get you coffee?" your costar asks you.

"ah, y/n, i already got you one," mingyu says, handing you a cup of coffee.

"thank you, sunbae," you say to him. the cup is warm, which feels nice since there's a bit of a breeze.

"i'll be leaving now," your costar says and hurries to the coffee truck.

you sigh in relief and take a sip of coffee. "thanks," you say to mingyu.

"mhm." mingyu smiles and brings his hand up to put some of your hair behind your ear. "i was waiting to see him in person, but i hate him even more now," he says, talking about your costar.

"well, i can already tell that the director noticed something because some of our earlier scenes were changed a bit," you reply. "thanks for coming by."

"had to be with my girl," he says. "walk with me for a second." the two of you walk off set and find a building and hide from staff. "love you," he says and kisses the top of your head.

"i love you too, mingyu."

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hello, oh my, damn... so english isn't my first language and i wasn't sure how to phrase it better so don't worry, i totally understand being uncomfortable and I'm sorry 😅

I did enjoy your version very much and i also think that you should definitely go for a crow reader cause that is such a cute idea!

- accidentally proposing anon

No problem! And since you're interested here's some very quick ideas I had about crow reader before I go to work today!

Alastor

Nothing phases this man anymore. Niffty literally gifted him a crown of dead roaches. So when you flutter excitedly and present him with a string of shiny can tabs, you've been collecting he accepts it graciously.

"You're quite right dear, these are incredibly colorful. Yes, very shiny are you sure you don't want to keep this? Oh! You made it for me? Well, aren't you just precious."

He makes it into a necklace or even something to decorate his horns.

Vox

Valentino likes light, you like shiny things, both of you tend to like being around screens and bright colors.

Except you don't just like screens, it's anything colorful or shiny. Actually sometimes it's not even that, its just random odds and ends that caught your attention for some reason. He gets it sometimes, textures, patterns, things like that.

But you have everything from soda can tabs to random buttons to rocks of various shapes, sizes, and colors. You have different sticks and pieces of wood you found that for some reason you then had to have. Pieces of mismatched jewelry. It's cute but it also clutters up space and he eventually designates one room for your stuff and tells you to keep it condensed. You do, and swear it's organized, but it's all just a jumbled mess to him.

He's in his lair, observing all the many different cameras, looking for some wannabe actress who owed him money, when you bounce in, barely stifling excited squaking. He sighs fondly and turns to you, knowing he's not going to be able to concentrate until he sees what you want to show him.

It's a collection of your molted feathers, the best ones, sleek and iridescent, bound together with some colorful twine you found and attached to it is a miniature glass jar filled with colorful, shiny bits of plastic, metal, and rock, and corked shut and sealed with hot glue.

It makes a nice rattle sound when he shakes it and the feathers are nice to pet and run his fingers over and..."Did you make me a fidget toy? From....random stuff you found? That's, that's actually really cute, thanks Doll."

He downplays how much he uses it, but it's literally on his key ring, so you know it goes everywhere with him and if during long meetings his staff are subjected to the consistent background noise of little shiny bits rattling around in a jar, then that's their problem.

Lucifer

As you may have noticed Lucifer also tends to collect things he has no need for. But he might need it one day! Between the two of you it does get to be a bit of a problem, so you both agree to sort through and condense your piles.

It takes days cuz you guys keep stopping to show each other cool stuff you guys have. Then, several more days just to get through his numerous rubber ducks. Eventually it's down to a single room where your collections have merged. Each item carefully chosen and presented to one another like expensive jewelry or other such luxurious things. But it's a cool rock you found, a giant bronze spring, a box full of candy wrappers with clever sayings, and a scrapbook with various brightly colored pieces of cardboard from snacks, toys, shoes, literally anything, that caught your eye.

It's anyone's guess on who adds what, but you do both have to agree on it before it's added so you don't hoard things again.

That's the end, but maybe I'll go back and add Adam and some of the other characters later. I just wanted to get my initial ideas down before work.

[thesharkwhalewhoohooooo]

Bridget x fem!oc

"Hi!" Jennie squeaked out, her hand tightening around Bridgets as they watched Uliana grab their bags and rummage through them, giving Jennie's to Hook to dump onto the ground for cash.

"Hello to you little mouse, how is your friend piggy going?" Bridget stared wide eyed, and Jennie couldn't so much more than wrap her arms around her arm and clutch it to her chest.

"I have no cash! Please don't dump it out...." She trialed off, her eyes trialing down to the ground where the little box laid just under a few papers.

"No!" The hook that replaced James' hand almost hooked into her skin, but she managed to snatch the box and stuff it into her skirt, sitting crouched after rolling to soften her fall.

Dashing back over to Bridget, who stepped back and shielded her, glancing over her shoulder at the two, Hook smirking as he held his hook up to point at Jennie.

"And what might that be eh? Some valuables?" His shark-like eyes followed Jennie as she squeaked and hid her head into Bridget's shoulder, who wrapped her arms around her tighter.

"Stop it Hook, don't let the faggot get too close." Uliana grinned, holding the cash she found in the bags, signalling for him to follow her out of the courtyard.

"Are you okay?" Bridget looked down at Jennie, who looked back wide eyed.

"I should be asking you that, are you alright? I'm sorry I can't protect you-."

"Don't even try it sweets, you're my baby." The princess hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead softly.

"Y-yeah...." Honestly, the blonde couldn't care less about whatever she just said, the box was burning in her pocket as her senses got overwhelmed by Bridget.

"Hey guys, what's up." Ella walked up to them, arching a brow at the leather bag and its contents laying splattered on the ground, Bridget's laying next to it.

"The sky, silly!" Bridget giggled, detaching herself from Jennie to hold onto Ella's hands.

"Nothing much, I'm just gonna- yeah." The girl looked down at her bag, then back at her two friends, who were already wrapped up in talking to each other, and crouched down to get the two bags together again.

"Oh! Thanks Jennie! You're such a sweetheart!" She kissed her cheek, hugging her briefly before she and Ella went away, probably to go do homework in Bridget's dorm.

"I- am." She looked down at her back, shuffling her mary janes closer to each other nervously, the pink rimmed socks seemed so silly now, why would she even think pink would look good on her, she should try Blue, Bridget likes Blue too right? I mean she loves pink but she didn't even blink at her clothes today so-

Jennie shook her head, that was ridiculous, she should change out of these stupid pink things now, why did she spend money on that stupid blouse and skirt.

-

A week later, it was blue, she had found a good light blue vest in the back of her closet, matched with a white skirt and blue socks, her leather mary janes shining in the sunlight once she stepped out, the dark blue ribbon tied around her neck neatly turned into a bow.

"Hi Bridget!" Her wave slowed down as she watched Ella throw an insult to Uliana, guiding Bridget away from them.

She followed them with her eyes, clutching her briefcase, desperately trying to lock eyes with Bridget, her princess.

Her gritted teeth didn't stop her from fleeing once she realised Uliana wasn't distracted anymore, her shoes clicked through the marble halls, rushing to her class, she'll change back during break.

-

"Bridget!" Jennie smiled, her best smile, the only smile she'd ever show Bridget, the others are too ugly, too much teeth, too wide, why would you scrunch your nose? Only Bridget does that right.

"Sweets! Have you met the new transfers?" Jennie had to force herself not to pull a face when she saw they touched her Bridget, she's not yours, shut up.

"I hadn't! How nice to meet other transfers!" Transfer back.

"You transferred too?" The redhead tilted her head, Jennie had to force herself to smile Bridget's smile at them, why would she waste that on some rando's.

"Yeah, I came from Wonderland a bit after Bridget!" The princess in question giggled, grabbing her hand with a smile.

"You missed me so much it's adorable!" Jennie wanted to glare at everyone around her when Bridget hugged her, but at the same time gloat about her kissing her cheek.

"I did...." She 'bashfully' looked down, blushing, more from Bridget being close than actual embarrassment, why would she be embarrassed about the truth? She missed Bridget so much she was going crazy.

"I'm Chloe! You?" Right, the other things.

"I'm Jennie! And who might you be?" Red had been staring with wide eyes for most of the time since she recognised the girl, who had been locked away in the dungeons since forever, looking like she had only been there for a few minutes, and completely crazy.

"Uh- yeah, I'm Red." Why would Bridget ever talk to someone that looked like that.

-

"Jennie?" Why does Ella feel like talking to her, doesn't Bridget give her enough attention for two? Three? Possibly the whole school?

"What's wrong?" I would never say the name of such a dirty obstacle, why would Bridget talk to something like that? So dirty....

"Could you go check up on Bridget for me please? I can't get to her today but she said she isn't feeling too well." Bridget isn't doing well and she told that?! Why would she ever tell her?! Why do I have to hear about it from the cinder girl?

"Of course I will! No worries, I'll go over there with some soup!" She smiled at Ella, who grinned back before leaving her alone to ponder.

"Why would Bridget tell that thing and not me?" She muttered, her pencil digging into her notebook, the point snapping off and flying up a bit, not noticing the two transfers behind her.

Red glanced over at Chloe, who was staring wide eyed at the blonde girl, who was scribbling harshly into her notebook with the left over pencil.

They quickly shook it off when she stood up, stuffing her stuff into her briefcase and turning around to walk away, her blue eyes widening when she noticed them.

She quickly composed herself, standing straight and frowning at them, she didn't feel like trying for some transfers that Bridget barely talks to.

"What." Chloe stepped back a bit, Jennie arching a brow, grimacing slightly.

"Nothing- just wanted to ask you something about Uliana and her gang." Jennie scoffed, leaning back on the table as she stared at the two, unimpressed.

"Is this about the flamingo thing? That was me, I'll deal with it." Red shot Chloe a glare, screaming 'told you so'.

"Right... well they're planning on pranking Bridget back, it won't be very pretty." The switch up was crazy, Jennie's uninterested picking at her nails turned into her rushing off, presumably to Bridget.

-

"Bridget? I got you some soup, heard you weren't doing well!" Jennie smiled, opening the door to her dorm, holding the plate with the soup in one hand and looking over at the sick princess.

"Ella?" The pink haired girl looked up weakly, tilting her head, the cloud of curls moving to cover one side of the pillow.

"No." Fuck! Too cold!

"Oh, I was kinda expecting her to stop by..." Why did she sound so disappointed? Is this why she didn't tell me? Does she like Ella or something?!

"Can I tell you something?" Bridget coughed out once Jennie had helped her sit up, now assisting her in eating her soup, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Mhm, always my princess." The box was burning through her skin, she should just give it to her already, if she kept pushing it back it'll be too late!

"I think I like Ella." Too late.

-

"I'm in here for a reason Red. Now go." The icy glare send her way almost made the 10-year old scream for the guards, but she refrained, inspecting the woman who hadn't changed at all since she'd discovered her.

"Why are you here?"

"Who is your father." Red looked down, and Jennie bit back a smirk, she was living proof someone touched her Bridget, she'll figure it out, she'll be let out soon enough.

"Mom doesn't talk about you-," her eyes widened, " -Who are you?" The woman had fallen silent, her white hair seemed to brighten her skin even more, which already stood out against the black stone.

"I am...." She seemed to think about it, not daring to look away, staring the princess down, her fingers tracing over the folds in her skirt.

"I'm the Queen's, nothing else." Red slowly tilted her head, weird.

-

That soon, happened to be, very soon.

Because now, Jennie was kneeling before the Queen of Hearts, holding her hand to her lips and kissing it softly, staring up at her.

"My Queen." The Queen smirked, pulling her hand back and gesturing for Red to come closer.

"Do you see her, Red? You'll have to find someone like this when you become queen, someone who'll fight for you." The princess slowly nodded, still staring at the bloodied ground of the village that had resisted, and the blood that Jennie had furiously scrubbed at on her face, which had turned into the only scratch she had, in an attempt to get the blood off of her face she just shaved off a bit of her skin.

"Who'll die for you." Red could only watch with wide eyes as her mother held out her hand, the bloodied sword Jennie held got wiped clean on her own palm before she even let it touch the Queen's skin, and she softly placed it down.

"The blood of the grass and ground of the deepest hells can't go up against the comparison of the sun and moon, my love can't touch but won't diminish, won't lessen but can't broaden." The Queen patted her head, tilting it up by her chin.

"Good job sweets." It pained Red to watch Jennie's eyes light up, staring at her mother as if nothing else mattered, which, knowing her, it probably didn't.

"Anything for my queen."

-

"Red! My daughter!" Bridget smiled as she approached her daughter at the ceremony, wrapping her arms around the stiffened girl, who watched with wide eyes as Jennie stalked closer, eyes narrowed and zeroed in on her as if she knew something.

"Where were you?" Her suspicions were waved off by Bridget, who happily giggled and dragged Red away and to her new dorm, which she would be sharing with Chloe.

"Jennie!" Ella called out to the woman, who ignored her, and was planning on walking straight past her, if it wasn't for Bridget stopping and smiling brightly at the fellow queen.

"Our daughters will be sharing a dorm! How exciting is this?!" The way Jennie forced herself to look Ella in the eye gave away her excitement.

"Yes, another Charming." She spat out, Bridget slapping her arm.

"Gods, what happened for you to hate them so!" Jennie couldn't help but smile at her, moving to grab onto her hand, but she had already moved on to grasp Ella's.

“You just have to join us for dinner! It’ll be so fun! We’ll have one final dinner with our families before our daughters leave the nest!” The blonde staggered in her movements when Bridget hadn’t grabbed her hands, but quickly started up again to stand beside the queen with crossed arms.

“Yeah, with the family.” She rolled her eyes, and Bridget sighed, turning and finally grabbing her hands, looking in her eyes.

“Would you mind going back to wonderland to take care of the duties for today? I swear I don’t want you to-!” Jennie had tuned her out, staring blankly at her face.

First I have to share attention with some kid, and after a lifetime of devotion this is what I get? She should be mine, mine to love, mine to cherish, mine to keep, why does she keep teasing me, I just want her to be mine.

Why doesn’t she want to be mine?

[raven-fucks-around-and-writes]

𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Earth 42!miles x GN! reader

Warnings: breakup, hurt/no comfort, angst fr

Word count: 967

you hoped and prayed that miles would show up to your christmas family dinner. 

please fucking let him show up for once. it seemed like he was never there for you these days. 

today was supposed to be the day he met your extended family, along with your parents and a few friends. he had been distant recently, which led to you having several sleepless nights wondering if you had did something wrong

as the evening went on, you earned pitied looks from your cousins as the knot in your stomach grew with time

you had to be real with yourself at some point. he wasn't coming.

"I'm sorry honey, we were all excited to meet him" your dad said, softly patting your shoulder

"it's fine, i'm not sure what i was expecting anyway." 

you suddenly stood up from the chair you were sitting in, gaining everyone's attention 

"i'm sorry everyone, but i think i'm going to go lay down. it's been a long day"

the moment you closed your door, the tears began to fall. deep down, you wondered why you put up with him. it was humiliating to make promises to people, saying he'd be there, saying he cares about you, saying he loved you. everyone knew that was a damn lie. 

you sniffled and picked up your phone, dialing your boyfriend's number as you sank down to the floor and waited for that familiar deep voice that used to be comforting.

"..hello?" 

you hesitated for a moment, the knot in your stomach tightening at the nonchalant way he responded

"miles, where were you today? you said you'd be here, right?"

"mhm, I got caught up in work, sorry. it's not like i missed anything important"

more tears began to fall as your heart broke at the sentence, everyone was right and you knew it all along. 

"you know what, miles?" you could barely get the words out, choking back sobs

"don't call me. don't come over, don't worry about meeting my family. all you care about is yourself, right? you're fucking selfish. i waited for months for you to act like you gave 2 fucks about me, and you never did."

your finger hovered over the red hangup button, your last flame of hope dying out due to the silence on the other end. "it's over."

after you wait a couple of seconds, you hung up and slid down to the floor, clasping your hand over your mouth to stifle your sobs. how did you get here? you couldn't sleep whatsoever, and through the hours of the remaining night you thought of the course of your relationship, eventually drifting off into a slumber.

-----

 the next few days were miserable and tear-filled, which earned concerned looks from your family. you had spent the day packing up everything that reminded you of *him*, though it wasn't helping you feel any better. at some point, you came across some of his things, like his hoodies that you had worn during late night talks, polaroid pictures that you two had taken together, gifts he had gotten you and various keepsakes. how did you fucking get here? at some point, you knew he'd have to come collect his things. 

2 days later, you called him.

his house was about 30 minutes from yours, so you had time to prepare. it had been 7 few days since you broken up, 2 days since you decided to call him to collect his stuff. your hands were shaking as you packed his belongings into a box, this is better for you, you know it is. as soon as you move on, the better. out of sight, out of mind. 

that was until the doorbell rang, indicating his arrival.

"do you need some support?" your mom peeked around the corner, flashing a concerned look in your direction. 

"i think i've got it, mom, thank you." truth be told, you weren't so confident about seeing him again. that painfully familiar knot was twisting in your gut once more

as you opened it, the painful memories hit you like a tidal wave. his brown eyes, how securely he used to hold you at night when you cried, his smile.

fucking hell, you couldn't do this. it was supposed to be a brief exchange, but it got overwhelming so damn fast. trying to keep tears from welling up, you took a deep breath and tried to stifle down the feeling of regret that was building up the longer you looked at him. 

"do you have my stuff or?" he looked at you expectantly. it was like you hadn't even broken up.

just hearing his voice made you realize how badly you still wanted to be with him. but is it it too late for you to work? you didn't really give him the chance to speak on the phone..

you hesitated for a minute "miles, look, i'm sorry for blowing up without letting you talk.."

"nah, you're all good. it's better for both of us"  that's it? had he been unhappy the whole time? were you just a forgotten nuisance to him? 

"no, miles, i'm sorry. i should've let you explain, it was unfair and i think we could fi-"

"[name], stop. you were right, it's not working in between us. i'm better off without you, and, well, you can handle being without  me."

his nonchalant words pierce you like 1000 knifes. your heartbeat was in your ears, and you didn't feel in control of your words

"miles.. i still love y-"

"and i loved you. we're in the past now, it's time to let us go." 

you were stunned, and with that, he took his opportunity to pull his things from your hands and leave.

you crumpled to your knees soon after that, sobbing quietly 

dont forget, reblogs help writers and likes dont do shit!😭

[starlight-writer]

Randomly Cuddling Them

A/n: Hahaha hiiii (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）it's meeeee I'm baaaaack In all seriousness, I've been dealing with a shit ton of stuff and summer depression is kicking my ass. I'm sorry I haven't posted in ages even when I promised I would, I just haven't been able to motivate myself to write. I won't promise you guys a schedule or another fic anytime soon, but I will say that I have no intentions of deleting this blog or stopping writing all together. Just be patient with me and to those who have requested things, I'm sorry I haven't answered them. They'll all come in due time :) In the meantime, have some fluff to make you forget about your depression.

Warnings: none, fluff, slight angst(?)

Gn Reader Masterlist

Steven

Welcomes the cuddle with open arms

He'll ask if you’re ok a few times, just wanting to make sure his darling is feeling well

He'll pet your hair and start talking about his day or a new book he's read to fill the silence

"You wouldn't believe the ending though! The main character has to sacrifice his "

Just sort of talks about anything to fill the comfortable silence, hoping it'll distract you from anything that's stressing you out

Definitely playfully brags to Jake and Marc in the headspace during and after the cuddles

"They wanted to cuddle with me :D"

Once you're ready to pull away, he'll give you a kiss on the forehead and continue reading or whatever it was before, but keeps an eye on you

He isn't sure what brought on the cuddles, and while he loves them, he wants to make sure you're ok

If you start looking upset or frustrated with a task, he'll gently pull you away from whatever you're doing and sit you on the couch

"Lovey, you can finish it later, just sit with me for a bit yeah?"

He'll pull you into his chest and read aloud from his book or ramble about something to distract you

He'll play with your fingers, interlacing them and kissing your finger tips before holding your hand to his face

"Love you, darling"

He'll say in the sweetest voice, you'll forget all about the stresses of the day or the stresses of tomorrow

Mission accomplished

Marc

He's a little caught off guard, but pulls you into his arms eagerly

He'll never turn down cuddles (cough touch starved cough)

He'll run his fingers through your hair or rub his hand up and down your back

He'll ask if you're ok, but won't push past that

He'll stay silent unless you ask him to talk

"Uh... I saw a lizard earlier today. It reminded me of you cause it was cute :)"

He's trying his best

If you stay in his arms for a long period of time, he'll start to think something might be wrong so he'll start making really really bad jokes

"I went to the deli earlier and the sausage they gave me was the wurst :D"

He won't stop until you laugh and he's not above tickling you until you pee your pants

It's like he unlocks a little box inside his head of terrible jokes and playfulness just for the purpose of seeing you smile

After the cuddles session, he'll watch over you carefully

If you start looking stressed or tired or anything but relaxed, he'll pop off with another joke

"Ya know, babe, I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me."

Is that a frown on your perfect lips? Not on his watch

"I don't think I told you this before, but I used to be able to play piano by ear. Now I have to play it with my hands."

Eventually, if you start looking too stressed, he'll just pull you into another cuddle session

"Can't have my baby getting stressed."

He'll explain, kissing you on the forehead and shushing you if you try to leave

He'll carry you to bed or the couch, locking you underneath him with his head on your chest

"So comfy, might just fall asleep here."

He snores loudly, trying to coax a giggle or two out of you

And when you fall asleep from the warmth he gives off, he'll watch you with love in his eyes

"Goodnight, babe. I love you."

Jake

There're two ways this could go depending on how he feels

He could be very smug about it, hold you tightly to his chest, mutter things like 'poor bebito/a, so needy for their Papi~' and make sexual or teasing jokes to lighten the mood

Or he could hold you securely in his arms, run his fingers across your back, occasionally kiss your head, and ask in a hushed voice 'what's wrong, mi amor?'

He thrives on physical affection, so either way he's incredibly happy to give it to you

Whether it be a quick kiss, setting his hand on the small of your back as he walks by, resting his hand on your thigh as he drives, or just touching your knee with his in a crowded space, he loves all of it

And depending on why you suddenly held onto him, he'll be very attentive

If he's making jokes when you just want to be held, he'll pick up in it right away and mutter a small apology with a kiss

He'll hum a song he heard on the radio, he'll keep his breathing long and slow to help calm you down if needed, he'll even read you one of Steven's 'boring' books

He's like Marc in a way, they'll both do absolutely everything in their power to make you smile or laugh if the situation calls for it

If you've gotten your fill of cuddles and start to pull away, he'll pout and pull you back down, muttering something about feeling cold without you on top of him

Which is a lie, they run extremely hot which has cancelled many cuddle sessions in the summer because 'It's too hot, Jake! And don't give me those puppy eyes!'

He refuses to let you go until you explicitly tell him you want him to

He'll act all sad, but he lets you go after a passionate kiss

Openly watches you closely afterwards, determined to see any slip of annoyance or frustration so he can whisk you away to your shared room and cuddle the stress away

And the second your brow twitches in frustration, he's coming up behind you and hugging you

"Bebito/a, dance with me."

He'll say, already swaying to the music playing in his head

He'll spin you around and subtly drag you away from the chore or work you were doing with a charming smile and his swaying hips

When you've rested your head on his chest and sigh softly, following the shuffling of his feet and sway of his hips, he knows he's succeeded in calming you down

[lkfarrout]

Fifty (family fic)

No ships, just Stan being a father figure

Summary: Wendy finds herself in a tough situation and has to ask Stan for money

Warnings: light angst, mature themes (16+)

"Come in!"

With a shaky hand, Wendy slowly opened the door to Stan's office. Her boss was sat at his desk, fez off, a pen and calculator in hand. His frustration at the figures in front of him permeated the room.

"Wendy?" He barely glanced up at her before returning to his work, "Its your day off, kid. What do ya need?"

"Umm..." Wendy considered saying 'nevermind' and just walking out. But she didn't really have a choice. "...fifty dollars."

Stan started to laugh until he looked up and saw the tears welling in Wendy's eyes.

He rose to his feet and she continued, talking very quickly, "I'm sorry, Mr. Pines. You can take it out of my next paycheck, but I need it today. I didn't know who else to ask."

He came around and leaned on the edge of his desk, arms crossed. "What's it for?"

She just looked at the floor and rang her hat in her hands.

He moved closer and placed a heavy hand on her shoulder, "Look, kid. Whatever you did, I'm sure I did worse at your age. D'ya owe someone money?" She shook her head.

"Then what's it for?"

"You can't tell my dad."

"Okay, I won't."

Wendy continued to avoid his gaze.

"What's it for, kid?"

Wendy sighed, "...plan B."

Stan took a step back and rubbed the back of his neck. "I see."

An awkward silence filled the room.

Stan continued with a light chuckle, "It's fifty bucks these days? Sweet moses, I'm gettin' old."

Wendy didn't laugh.

"Look, it'll be alright. Head out to the car, I'll give the twins an excuse and meet you out there, okay?"

Wendy muttered a thank you and quickly left the room.

---

A rock song played inaudibly on the radio and Wendy stared out the passenger window at the trees going by.

Stan gripped the wheel, trying to think of anything to say.

He stuttered as he began, "Kid, I-- look, I aint gonna pry you for details. But if I need to go knock some sense into some knucklehead kid, I will."

"It's fine."

"It was some knucklehead kid, right? Not, y'know... an adult?" Stan cringed at his own question, but damnit, if he was gonna let some creep take advantage of a young girl like Wendy.

Wendy nodded, "Yeah, just Robbie."

"So why the hell isn't he paying for this?" He'd meant it as a joke, but quickly realized how mean it sounded.

"Look, I aint mad about paying for it, I just. He needs to learn some responsibility."

"We were responsible. It just, broke. And neither of us had the money. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm... glad you told me."

Stan pulled the car into a parking spot.

"Stay here."

"It's okay, I can get it."

Stan insisted, "No, someone will recognize ya. I don't want you in any trouble."

He cracked the windows and shut the door with a click. Several minutes later, he returned and handed her a bag. "Hope that's the right stuff."

Wendy dug through it, surprised to find a bottle of water, a comic book, and a bar of chocolate in addition to the small cardboard box she expected.

She looked at Stan, who shrugged. "Figured you might need a little pick-me-up."

"Thanks, Mr. Pines. I'll work an extra day, or--"

He cut her off and waved his hand in the air, "Ah forget that, consider it free. It was... less expensive than I thought anyway." He looked away suspiciously before glancing back at her.

She punched him lightly in the arm, "You stole it?"

"No!" Stan protested, "I paid..."

She raised her eyebrows at him and he finished, "...for the water."

Stan laughed and Wendy smiled for the first time that morning. But her smile quickly dissipated with his next question.

"So, should I take you home?"

The look on her face was the only answer he needed. "Alright, you can hang at the shack today. But you'll have to put on a happy face for Dip and Mabel."

Wendy sighed, relieved, "Yeah, I will."

"I told the kids I was picking up lunch. How's pizza sound?"

---

They entered through the giftshop. Stan held the door open for Wendy with one hand, a pizza box in the other.

"Hey, uh, make sure you read that box real close and if you start to feel sick at all, let me know, okay?"

"I will, thanks." Wendy stayed behind like they'd discussed, and he continued toward the main part of the house before pausing.

"Oh, and use the phone in here to call Robbie. He should know that you got things worked out."

Wendy nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Guess who got pizza!"

The twins exclaimed happily and started to dig in.

Through a mouthful, Stan casually spoke. "Oh hey, save some for Wendy, I saw her walkin' over just a minute ago."

[octuscle]

I was walking around and noticed a shop I never recognised. I think it was called CHAVTF. Should I go in?

CHAVTF? I can highly recommend it. Great selection of cool gear and competent and very courteous service. Tyler has a good eye for what suits your type. You can really trust him without reservation.

When you enter CHAVTF, it's very busy. All cabins are occupied. And the fellow you suspect is Tyler is obviously very busy. Nevertheless, he asks you how he can help you. You tell him that you were advised to ask for Tyler, that you need advice. "Mate, I'm Tyler. But call me Ty. What's your name, friend?" You reply that your name is Darren. "Daz, that's nice! you're not uh minute early. Can you grab da size xl camouflage tracksuit from storage for da fellow in locker room 4?" You answer "Sure thing" and go into storage. Fuck, how do you know where the warehouse is. But the tracksuits are cool. You'll have to try that one on later, too. You go to locker room 4 and hand the tracksuit through the curtain. Tyler asks you to check out the customers at the cash register. He will mark up the prices of the new stuff for a while.

The store is really running like clockwork today. There must be five or six scallies in line at the register. Sucks when you can't take care of the fellows the way you want to. You would have liked to help one or two of them change. Ty comes over, gives you a fistbump and says you're a lifesaver. Thank you for supporting him. He didn't expect so many customers. But then he says with a grin that you should better not serve here in your silly preppy clothes. You laugh and ask him what he expects when he calls you up from coffee at your parents' house and brings you into the store. Ty asks when your dad started placing value on that sort of thing. The last time you were there for dinner, he was still wearing that sweaty tank top from boxing practice. "Mate, that wasn't Sunday. Sometimes my mother gets her way, too," you reply with a grin. Ty tells you that there's a tracksuit in the social room that a customer has returned. You can put it on. Size S, should fit. Your fat pads are melting. When you put on the tracksuit, you weigh just 110 pounds at 6 feet. Skin, muscles and bones.

The next few hours are a bone-crushing job. The city is full of tourists and since there has just been money from the welfare office, all the chavs are also liquid. No idea how many steps you have walked between the warehouse, the cash register and the changing rooms. But by closing time, you've just managed three or four cigarette breaks. Ty and you take a deep breath as you lock the door at 6:00 pm. While Ty closes the register, you clean up a bit. Fuck, the place looks like a battlefield. And tomorrow you have the early shift. Then it would be cool if you could start with neat shelves and clean dressing rooms.

Ty asks you if you still want to come to the pub for a beer. You decline with thanks. You still have to train a class at your father's boxing school. Next time. Ty gives you your salary and hugs you. "See you tomorrow!" "You bet."

You are quite pleased as you wait for the train. New tracksuit, 120 pounds of extra cash and an afternoon without your parents. Sunday could have gone worse.

Pic found @scallychavlad88

[voidvannie]

⋆˚࿔  ꒰ 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗨𝗧 ꒱  𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆✩⋆ ─── 🎶and i thank god every day for the girl he sent my way🎶 - beautiful things, benson boone

⋆✩⋆ ─── pairing: jamie drysdale x isabelle hughes

⋆✩⋆ ─── beautiful things masterlist main masterlist

⋆✩⋆ ─── in which . . . belle finds out she's pregnant & has to tell jamie right away!

⋆✩⋆ ─── feel free to send in any request for things you want to see in this series, or in any of the other series on my page. Or if you just want to share some thoughts about what you read, or if you want to talk about oc's!

𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟷𝟽, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟻 . ┊

belle grins as she stands in her and jamie's shared bathroom in philadelphia, her camera propped up on the rectangular jewelry box resting in the middle of the two sinks.

"welcome to jamie and i's bathroom. today is. . . ," she trails off, picking her phone off the counter to check the date, "december seventeenth. so, jamie and i have been married for six months, and i think i may be pregnant. i've had pregnancy scares before, but i feel different this time."

"it is super early in the morning, jamie is at the gym with carter and cam so i thought it would be the perfect time to take a pregnancy test." she holds the wrapped test up for the camera to catch it. "i'm gonna pee on this stick and i'll be right back."

"okay, that's done." belle caps the last pregnancy test and sits it back down on the bathroom counter, "i'm really freaking nervous. jamie and i haven't really been trying for babies, but we also haven't done anything to prevent babies from happening. either way, we'll both be excited and happy."

"jack will probably be the most excited out of my brothers, and most likely will throw himself a party. he's always asking me when i'm making him an uncle and i'm sure he has a bet going on with trevor." belle nervously fidgets as she tries to think of anything to keep her mind from wondering. "why did i think this was a good thing to do on my own?"

moments later, the timer that she has set up goes off and she picks the first test up, her jaw dropping as she takes in the small 'pregnant' on the small screen, "holy fucking shit."

flipping the other test over, she jumps in place as they also read 'pregnant', and she holds them up for the camera to see them, "holy shit, i'm pregnant! i'm fucking pregnant! i wanna call my mom but at the same time i want to keep this between jamie and i until i can at least go to the doctor and confirm that i am a hundred precent pregnant."

"jamie should be home in a little bit so the next time you see us, we'll be telling him that he's going to be a dad! okay, i need to calm my nerves down."

the camera view now shows jamie scrolling through his phone on the couch, freshly showered from his morning at the gym with a few of the Flyer's players and with no mind that he was being recorded.

a sigh leaves his lips as he locks his phone, laying it on his leg and throwing his head down onto the back of the couch, "baby! come sit with me on the couch! we can watch a movie!"

a angelic giggle rings through the room before belle moves into the view of the camera, a view of the three pregnancy test tucked away in the pack pocket of her blue jean shorts. "hi."

jamie smiles widely, leaning over to kiss her softly, "hi."

"okay, i know we promised to not be those kinds of couples, but i got you a present for six months of being married." belle smiles warmly at her husband as her hand moves to the back of his neck, gently scratching at his scalp.

"hmm, that feels nice." jamie's eyes slip close for a few second before he opens them back up, turning his head to look over at his wife with a stern expression on his face, "what did i say about just buying me shit? it's my job to surprise you with stuff, not the other way around."

"this is a good surprise, i promise. now, close your eyes and hold your hands out."

"baby, i swear, if this is another one of your tiktok pranks, i'm sleeping on the couch for a week." jamie sighs before doing as she says.

belle takes the test out of her back pocket and places them on his hands, "okay. open."

"holy shit! no fucking way!" jamie jumps up from the couch, pregnancy test hitting the floor as he jumps around, "no fucking way!"

the blonde watches her husband run around their living room before he rushes back over to pick the best up from the floor, his eyes closing over as he made sure he was actually seeing what he was seeing.

"baby, holy shit." jamie sits on his knees in front of belle, forehead resting on her legs as he took the moment in, "you're pregnant. baby, you're fucking pregnant."

"i'm pregnant." she runs her fingers through his hair as tears fill her eyes, one falling from her eye as she blinked. "we'll, it says that i am, but i'm not a hundred percent sold. i made an appointment for the doctor for thursday."

jamie nods, lifting his head up from her knees and bringing his hand up to wipe the tears away from her eyes, leaning forward to kiss her on the lips a few times, i love you's between each one. "i love you."

"i love you."

the video ends with a silent moment between belle and jamie, their foreheads pressed together before the screen goes black and the worlds, "baby drysdale coming 2026" appearing on the screen.

[shookie-y]

Wisteria Blooms (3)

Pairing: Giyuu X Reader/ Tanjiro X Reader

Desc: (Y/n) is Giyuu's Tsuguko. Ubuyashiki appointed him to train her a year after he met Tanjiro. (Y/n) has had strong feelings for the water pillar for a few months. During a mission with Giyuu she runs into the two Kamado siblings. For Tanjiro it was love at first sight. What happens when (Y/n) has to fight her feelings for not only the two slayers but also keep up with the fight against the demons?

A/N: All of the characters are slightly aged up or down to make this story work. Tanjiro will be 18 and Giyuu will be 20. (Y/n) will be 19. If anyone has any questions about the other characters ages feel free to ask.

----------------------------------------------------------

The woods around you are quiet. There is a small breeze blowing through the trees. Your hair is moving slightly from the wind. Your leg doesn't hurt as much anymore. Shinobu had stitched it up when you dropped Kanao off. You couldn't stay long because you needed to get back to Giyuu... well his estate. The walk isn't long but it's taking you longer than normal due to your exhaustion. After what feels like forever, you finally see the doors to Giyuu's estate.

You smile and walk faster to the front door. "Tomioka-san? I'm back." You make your way through the building, looking for any sign of the man.

There seems to be no sign of him.

Well you think that until you hear a door sliding open behind you. "Tomioka-san! I was wondering where you went off to." You turn around with a big smile. Your gaze lands on Giyuu, who is standing there in shock. having just come from the bath. You look him up and down. The only thing he's wearing is a towel around his waist. You freeze and stare at Giyuu's bare chest. Water was still dripping down his abs.

"Oh... you're back." The nonchalant tone startles you and you quickly cover your face, your cheeks burning from embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to stare! I should go rest!" You quickly turn around and rush off to your room. You quickly shove your door open and collapse on your bed. "I can't believe I just did that." You groan and shove your pillow over your head.

I didn't even try to hide the fact that I was checking him out. What is wrong with me? I'm his Tsuguko for goodness sake.

Not a second later you pass out.

Thirteen days pass as you're waiting for your sword and uniform to arrive. You've been avoiding Giyuu since the day you arrived back. It wasn't hard to do since he was usually on a mission or doing Hashira stuff. He is here today though.

You are currently sitting outside on the steps. You're just enjoying the breeze when a sound catches your attention.

Kting, kting, kting

You look up and see a person walking towards you. They're wearing a a sunflower patterned haori and a Hyottoko mask. They also have a hat which appears to have windchimes all around it. That's probably what is making the noise.

"Hello?" You tilt your head in confusion and stare up at the mysterious person.

"I am called Haganezuka. I am he who forged (Y/n) (L/n)'s katana." A deep voice comes from behind the mask.

"I am (Y/n). Would you like to come inside?" I motion to the front door. "I can make tea or something."

Instead of answering your question, he kneels down on the ground and starts opening a box.

That box must contain my katana.

"Oh, please co-"

"This is a nichirin sword. I forged this blade. The iron sand and ore that are the materials for a nichirin sword are gathered at the mountain closest to the sun. Scarlet iron sand and scarlet ore both absorb light. The sun shines all year on mount yoko. It is never cloudy and rain never falls."

The door opens behind you and Haganezuka shoots his head up.

"Your sword is here." Giyuu is staring down at the both of you. "Please come inside." He turns and walks back inside.

Haganezuka and you pick up his stuff and carry it inside. You all kneel down around some tea Giyuu had set out. "Draw your sword, (Y/n)."

You nod at Giyuu and pick up the katana carefully. The sheath is a light blue with tiny white snowflakes hand painted on. "It's beautiful. Thank you." You smile and bow at Haganezuka.

"Yeah yeah..." He huffs and crosses his arms. "Nichirin swords are also called color-changing katana. Their color changes depending on who is holding them.

You slowly pull out the katana and hold it up. It takes a few seconds before the blade starts to turn white. You gasp and stare at the sword in amazement. You go to say something but are cut off.

Your crow flies down to the window. "Kaw! Kaw! (Y/n) (L/n)! You must head for a town east. This is your first job as a demon slayer!" The three of you listen to the crow speak. "Children are going missing every night from their beds!"

Children going missing?

[buckys-black-dress]

heaven won't be the same

a/n: hello!!!!! i know it's been, like, a really really long time since i've written for you guys. depression + nursing school = even worse depression. anyways, here's something that i wrote to just kinda get me back into the groove of writing. enjoy!

wc: 5.7k words

warnings: NONE. she's chill today.

[ bucky barnes x nurse!fem!reader ]

-

Is this is the right place?

Looks like it. Just knock. What's the worst that could happen?

Your hand lifts, albeit hesitantly, and raps against the wooden door.

You wait a moment before you hear shuffling on the other side, and then the lock turning and the door opens.

The blond who opens it stares at you, searching for some sort of recognition in your eyes, but comes up a bit short.

"Can I help you?" He asks slowly, clearly confused.

"Hi, I'm Y/N. I can't remember which one of you I spoke with, I think his name was Sam. But I'm here to look at the room you guys are renting?" You ask gently, maybe you were in the wrong place.

"Oh! You're Y/N! Yes, yeah, I know who you are, come in." Recognition dawns on the blue-eyed boy's face. "By the way, I'm Steve. I don't know how much Sam has told you about us but I wasn't expecting a girl to want to live with three guys." He chuckles and you return the laugh.

"Yeah, I mean I was a bit hesitant at first because I thought I'd get murdered by you guys or something, but Sam made it very clear that you're all very nice people and won't watch me while I sleep." You reply with a small smile.

Steve looks at you in silence.

"Just kidding!" You let out a laugh. "But my mom was a bit worried about me living with three men, but I convinced her nothing bad was going to happen. I hope."

"Hey, seriously though, we wouldn't want to make you feel unsafe. I know being a woman in this day and age in New York can be... less than pleasant. We're big on respect here at 6A." He flashes you a smile that for sure has made a girl weak in the knees before.

"Thanks, Steve. I appreciate that. I mean I know you guys probably weren't expecting a girl as your fourth roommate, so I'm just happy to find space where I can."

"I mean, hey, it's not what we were expecting, but we're not picky people." Steve shrugs. "Wanna take a look at your room? Then we can go from there and get your stuff moved in."

"Sure, sounds great!"

He leads you down the hallway and opens a door, revealing the room you saw on the listing.

After chattering about the room and how they were excited to have you live with them, he takes you back to main living area to wrap up any other loose ends.

"Alright, so like I said we do have two bathrooms so you might have to share with Bucky, since his room is also on that side of the apartment but that shouldn't be a problem. And also, I can help move in your things if you don't wanna go through the hassle of getting moving guys and all that."

"Oh, you don't have to do that for me, I don't mind at all-"

"Hey, no worries, I'm happy to help." Steve smiles and you nod in response.

"Thanks. I didn't know I'd be getting such a deal moving in with you guys." You laugh.

"I'm just happy to help. I'm sure Sam and Buck can also help since they'll be around later tonight."

-

And so it began.

All of your boxes were in the rented U-Haul at the front of your new home. You text Steve to let him know you're downstairs, and a feeling sits in your gut.

You were nervous to live with three random stranger men. Granted, Sam and Steve were both so nice, and you really are getting a great deal with this apartment, being so close to your work and all.

"Hey Y/N! Let's get this show on the road." Steve comes outside, guns blazing, (literally, have you seen his biceps?), and ready to work.

It only takes an hour or so to get all your things inside, and Sam was waiting inside to take things directly to your new room. Although you still haven't met Bucky, you knew it couldn't be too bad. Steve and Sam were angels.

-

The first time you met Bucky was when he returned from his shift. He worked as a bartender. He had odd hours and often didn't come back until 3 AM most nights that he worked.

Hence, the reason why he was confused when he saw you in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

"Hey... who are you?" He asked, dropping his keys into the bowl next to the door.

"Oh!" Your head whipped around at the sound of the door shutting "Steve mentioned that you worked weird hours. I'm Y/N." You extend your hand to him. "I'm the new roommate. I hope they told you about me." You huff out a laugh, hoping he wouldn't be completely weirded out by you.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I totally missed that you were moving in today. Don't worry, they did mention you." He returned your smile while shaking your hand.

His large, callused hand engulfing yours made your heart pound in your chest. Jesus. Are all the guys who live here male models? What the hell?

"Well, it was really nice meeting you, Y/N. I'm gonna head to bed, work totally got me shot. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, yes. I'm usually out the door by 6:30 by the latest, so I'll catch you if you're up." You smile.

"6:30 in the morning? Yeah, no chance I'll see you then but you'll catch me before my shift. I forgot, Sam did mention you were a nurse."

"For sure, I also have the next day off so that'll probably be a bit more realistic."

"How about we go get breakfast that day? On me, consider it a welcome-to-the-apartment gift from me." Bucky's grin spreads across his face, and you can't help notice just how handsome he is.

"Deal, Bucky. Good night."

-

After you both got over the initial awkwardness, you and Bucky became the most unlikely pair. Sharing a bathroom was breeze, your schedules aligned perfectly some days, meaning that the two of you spent most of your free time together.

It was a strange feeling. You loved becoming friends with Bucky. He was so easy to talk to, and understood you better than most others. It was so natural and easy with him, like you'd known him forever.

But another part of you was falling for him, and you knew it. You chose to ignore it, deciding that it was silly and that you just liked him as a friend. A best friend, perhaps.

At times, he did little things that made you think otherwise, though.

The cuddling during movie nights. The 'I got this for you because it made me think of you's. It was something that ate at you daily.

You two practically did everything together. In a way, it was like being in a relationship, but with no pressure. No expectations. Just two people, hanging out and being there for the other. It meant nothing (but everything, at the same time.)

He was always there for you. After a hard shift, you came home and sat quietly while you talked about whatever it was that bothered you. And after his shifts at the bar, he did the same.

It was almost too easy, the way you two could fall into a rhythms so easily. It was so nice to have someone to have around after moving into a new place. You two clicked effortlessly, it seemed.

And of course, they don't call it falling in love for nothing.

-

Tonight, you had a night shift, which meant you went to bed all day until about 4 PM and then proceeded to get ready for your evening at the hospital.

You were in the bathroom washing your face and braiding your hair back, then pulling on your under-scrub top.

The door creaks open, revealing a smiling Bucky.

He's dressed head to toe in black; a tight t-shirt that looks like it's a size too small, black jeans, black leather boots, and finally, a leather jacket thrown over his arm.

"I hate when you have the night shift. I'm so lonely during the day, and of course you have it on my one night off." He whines, and you shoot him a look through the mirror.

"Well, I wouldn't have taken the night shift but they were offering extra pay since no one wanted to cover. Sorry, honey." You turn around and pat his chest to move him out of the doorway, an exaggerated pout on your face.

Fuck me, those eyes, Bucky thinks to himself at the gesture.

Your touch sent a flutter of butterflies against his stomach, making him move out of your way so you could pull on your socks and gather your things into your bag.

"Where are you all dressed up for on your night off then?" You ask out loud while stuffing your arms through your fleece jacket.

"I- uh, funny story, actually." He laughs out a cough, "I have a date." He presses his lips together.

"Oh. A date." You stop what you were doing, back turned to him.

You can feel his eyes burning through the back of your head, but you can't turn to face him right now. Snapping out your thoughts, you continue gathering your things.

"Yeah, this girl at the bar, she works as a waitress actually. She asked for my number, and well one thing led to another and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Buck. I'm happy for you. Have a great date, I have to run. Good luck." You muster the best smile you can in that moment and practically run out of your room.

"Wait, are you okay?" He asks in a rush, following close behind you.

"Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be? I have to get to work." You were almost an hour early. You stop to fill your water bottle from the fridge and make your escape. "I'll see you tomorrow!" You yell from the hallway before the door shuts, the slam resounding through the emptiness.

The moment of silence in the elevator gets you lost in your thoughts for a minute.

A date.

With a girl who works at the bar.

You don't know why this is hurting your chest so terribly. The thought of Bucky, your closest friend, going on a date, tugs at something.

Whatever happens, you know you can't say anything. It's not your place. You just have to let it run its course, whether it goes in a good direction or not. You have to just do your best to be happy for Bucky.

-

Meanwhile, back at the apartment;

"Did Y/N leave for work already?" Steve asks, coming out of his room.

"Yeah, she basically ran out even though her shift isn't til seven." Bucky's brows are furrowed, still standing in the middle of the kitchen thinking about how you practically raced to get away from him.

"Why'd she leave so early?" Steve asks in confusion, eyes flashing to the oven, seeing the digital clock flashing 5:56 PM. "It only takes her like 20 minutes to get there."

While discussing, Sam pops out of his own bedroom, listening in on the conversation between the two.

"I don't know, we were just talking about plans tonight and she got really weird, all of a sudden. She grabbed all her stuff for her shift and just bolted." Bucky was incredibly confused, and it was clear in his tone and facial expression.

He looked like a lost puppy.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Sam asks, wondering what was bothering you. Maybe it was something Bucky said?

"I was just hanging out in her room while she was getting ready, and then she asked what I was dressed for and I told her about that girl, Christina, the one from the bar that asked for my number and asked to go on a date. Then she basically ran." Bucky shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what even happened, she even said I 'don't have to explain myself to her,' and that she had to leave."

Steve and Sam shoot a look between each other, the latter breathing out a deep sigh.

"What? What's that sigh?" Bucky asks.

"Nothing, Buck. Have you thought that maybe the date was what was bothering her? You two spend a lot of time together, and maybe she feels a little... blindsided by this date." Steve reasons.

"What? Why would she feel blindsided? I tell her everything. She tells me everything. That's just how we are." Bucky responds with a shake of the head, hands flailing in the air.

"But what about her? Does she tell you about the dates she goes on?" Sam asks, and Bucky's brows furrow.

"What dates? She goes on dates? With who?"

Another look shared between Steve and Sam.

"See, maybe she doesn't go on dates. I really don't know. But that reaction is why she felt hurt by you telling her about you going on a date." Steve explains.

Bucky's lost.

"She has feelings for you, Buck. She has feelings and she's hurt that you're going on a date because she never goes on dates, and now she's realizing that she's going to get left behind in the dust when you meet another girl." Sam supplies.

Now Bucky's even more lost.

"But... why wouldn't she tell me she has feelings for me? She's never even indicated that there was anything she felt for me more than friends do." He explains, now wracking his brain for every single interaction you two have had.

"Listen... we don't know what goes on when you guys are alone. But what I do know is that you guys spend a lot of time together, and I think you guys both have some... unspoken feelings for each other."

Bucky stands there, contemplating what this meant. What was he saying? That he should come clean to you about his feelings for you? That going on this date tonight would be a mistake?

Fuck, the date.

"Listen, I gotta go. My date's expecting me." Bucky quickly dismisses the entire conversation, putting him arms through the arms of his leather jacket before heading out the door.

Another sigh was shared between the two men left behind in the apartment.

-

There were pros and cons to working the night shift.

Pros included that it was calm, most of the time. Nights meant time to catch up on charting and paperwork while patients slept, checking in on them when needed.

Cons included the fact that one of the major thoughts blaring in your mind was 'WHILE YOU'RE SITTING HERE MEASURING THIS PATIENT'S OUTPUT, BUCKY IS ON A DATE WITH A SUPER HOT GIRL FROM HIS WORK!!!'

It sucked.

You wished you could shut it off. Of course, you always had to make sure you were giving your patients the best care possible, but your mind was plagued.

Would you ever tell him how you felt? Could you ever take that risk? The thought of even telling him, let alone being rejected, makes you sick to your stomach.

He would never speak to you again. It would be weird between you two, and then it would be weird between everyone in the apartment, and you would never be able to show your face again and would have to move out. There’s no other feasible option.

Unless…

Unless Bucky liked you back.

But you don’t even let your mind wander there, because you couldn’t even stomach the thought of not being around them. They were your family, the people you spent the most time with, the ones you could always count on when you had a rough day or needed a shoulder to lean on. Especially Bucky.

You simply couldn’t lose them.

And so, your night shift went on and the world still spun, even with your feelings buried deep in your chest.

-

When you walked into your apartment at 7:30 AM, there were some things you noticed that weren’t there when you had left.

First, it was the pretty black kitten heels by the door that certainly weren’t yours.

Then, for example, a cute leather purse hanging from a barstool by the kitchen island that wasn’t yours.

You put two and two together, and despite the harsh clench of your chest, you decided you were too tired to even think about all this right now. You just needed to take a shower and go straight to bed.

After staying true to your words, you had just shut the door to the bathroom when you heard it open again. Then, the water running from the tap, and then you see the handle of your door turning.

Immediately, you throw yourself under your covers and act like you had already been asleep. You simply couldn’t face Bucky right now. Not after knowing that he brought that girl home, and not after she was probably still in his bed. That was just too far for you.

With your face away from the door, you try and make your breaths as even as possible, hearing the door click open.

You could feel Bucky’s eyes burning into you, but you weren’t giving yourself away. You needed sleep before dealing with this.

Once you hear the door shut, you let out a big breath, your heart practically leaping out of your chest. And with that breath, you allow your eyes to only well with tears, but not letting them fall.

-

You woke again at 3 PM, but with knowing you had the next day off you weren’t in any rush to start your day. You didn't even want to move. You felt as though you got hit by a bus, between the racing thoughts about... well you know who they were about; and then piled on with the unexpected code in the middle of your shift, it was not a peaceful night.

You got your much needed rest, but you were in no mood to face Bucky right now.

But alas, your stomach spoke (rather growled violently), and you had to eat something before your stomach folded in on itself.

As you crack the door open to inspect the hall, you see that Bucky's door is closed but you hear noises from the direction of the living room.

You weigh your options.

Go out and make yourself something to eat and possibly face Bucky.

Starve.

Although the latter was looking like a great option, another whoosh from your stomach made you man up and step out of the room.

You couldn't even bring yourself to look at who was in the apartment, eyes dead-set on the pasta sauce you knew was in the fridge.

"Hey, Y/N! How was the night shift?" Sam's chirpy question came from the couch.

"It was alright, had a code but he pulled through. What did you two get up to last night?" You ask, seeing that Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch opposite to Sam.

You couldn't even look him in the eye, while you knew he was watching you.

"Not much, just had a few beers and chilled til Buck got back, caused quite the ruckus." Sam lets out a laugh, but the words pierced through your heart as you pour the pasta into the boiling pot of water you'd set on the stove.

"Oh, nice." You reply, albeit shortly. You didn't know what to say. But of course, your mouth runs farther ahead than your brain. "How was that date, Bucky?"

You didn't care how the date was. You know she came back here, and you had absolutely zero interest in finding out what they did together. You couldn't handle hearing him tell you about it.

"It was... it was good. She came back here after." Was all he said. He looked at you with those wide, crazy eyes. You wanted to crumble under his gaze, but instead you just turned around to focus on your food.

"Nice. Great. I'm glad it went well for you." You said, not facing him.

The three boys give each other a look, and the tension could be cut with a knife.

Another loud growl from your stomach.

Fuck.

You check and the pasta is cooked. You drain it, pour your sauce and cheese, and practically sprint back to your room with a resounding click of your door through the apartment. Dishes be damned.

-

Outside, breaths were still held.

"Jesus, Sam. Could you have made it sound worse than it was?" Bucky grits through his teeth, pushing his shoulder aggressively.

"Well, you did bring her back here. Did I misspeak?" He responds.

"No, but we just hung out! Nothing even happened! Why is this even so awkward between us? It's not a crime if I did sleep with her." Bucky defends, but is confused about this situation.

"Well, it wouldn't be a crime, but it sure wouldn't be a good thing that you slept with someone else when you clearly have feelings for her!" Steve chimes in as quietly as possible.

-

You feel so stupid.

The urge hits you like a truck.

Should you also be going on dates? What was it that was so deeply holding you back from doing what Bucky's doing?

You could make all the excuses you want; busy with work, too tired, and that you were happy with your friendships and current relationships, even if they were all platonic.

But that was all before, when you thought Bucky felt the same.

You thought that he was also happy with the way you two were. Doing all the things people in relationships do, but not speaking out about those deeply-buried feelings. And that was enough. You didn't need someone to tell you they loved you as more than a friend, you didn't need that yearning feeling to be filled.

It was all bullshit, anyways. Right?

Right?

Right.

He could date people and have a girlfriend that he could do all those things with.

It didn't matter.

Because apparently, you weren't that person to him.

So you would just have to accept that and move on with your life.

Alone.

Again.

-

"Again with these damn feelings! You two don't even know your heads from your asses, and you wanna tell me about how my feelings!" Bucky scrambles for words. He feels hot and uncomfortable all over, all the while trying to not raise his voice.

"Bucky! You felt that tension in here? Right? That was because she had a problem! And it could all easily fixed if you just said, 'Hey, I know this is crazy, but I like you! And I didn't sleep with anyone else because of that!' Huh? How 'bout that?" Sam suggests, like it was the easiest thing to do in the world.

"Yeah, and what if she laughs in my face? What if that's totally not the case?!" Bucky responds.

"Buck, I think you just need to trust us on this one. She likes you and you like her. I don't know what else to tell you to make you understand." Steve finally sighs and drops his shoulders, over this whole conversation.

"Listen, she has tomorrow off. If you two end up hanging out, you need to say something. The tension is just too much." Sam just sighs and turns the TV on, preemptively ending the conversation.

Bucky just went into his room, placed his headphones over his head, and spent some time alone to think.

Let's think rationally.

You went on a date, and you didn't sleep with her.

What Bucky was coming to realize, is that there was a reason he didn't sleep with her.

He just couldn't.

It felt wrong, like he knew that there was a reason why he couldn't do it, subconsciously.

And he fully went into the date wanting to sleep with her. That was his goal. But he knew that if he did, it would be the point of no return. For some reason, he just felt it in his gut.

Realistically, even if I slept with her, I probably would've been sick with myself. I couldn't even face her after that.

But why?

Because you like her, you absolute moron.

He thinks of all the moments shared between you two. The stares, the cuddling, the innocent touches that drove him insane. All of those things added up in his mind to become one big jumble of feelings and now his brain felt like it was going to burst from how much this was all hitting him at once.

He springs off his bed.

Before he even turns the corner into the living room, words are spilling out of his mouth.

"You know what, maybe subconsciously even my body knew not to sleep with her, but even then how could I know for sure she likes me?-"

But there you are, sitting between Steve and Sam, tears leaking out of the corners of your eyes, gazing up at him in shock.

Clearly, you three were in the middle of something.

"You didn't sleep with her?" Your voice is meek at the question.

"No. I couldn't do it." He says, like it was obvious.

"Why not?" You fire back.

"I- I just... can we not do this out here? Please?" Bucky practically begs. He can't confess his deep and utter devotion to you in front of his two best friends. They'd never let him live it down.

"Come with me." Bucky runs into his room, throwing you a hoodie of his that he knew you were partial to, and then slid on his own jacket. Shoes are stuffed onto his feet, and he sees you doing the same, but your eyes never leave his figure in confusion.

The keys are grabbed from the bowl, and the door swings open while he holds it open for you.

Before Bucky lets the door shut, he gives Sam and Steve a final look; meanwhile the two are jumping up and down and pumping their fists in the air silently. It was almost comical.

"Where are we going?" Your voice from behind him startles him a bit, forgetting what he was even supposed to be doing.

"Just- put this on, honey." He hands you his spare motorcycle helmet, and you almost want to protest, but you wanted to see where this was going.

So you comply and hold onto him for dear life while he weaves in and out of traffic.

He stops, finally, in front of the place you know Bucky always comes to when he has too much on his mind.

It's a wide expanse of the city, a rooftop that he somehow had access to; and you weren't sure what you were doing here.

"What are we doing here?" You don't even let your mind think about what he was here to tell you.

Was he here to break the news to you that he was seeing this girl?

But you still couldn't figure out why he would bring you here to tell you that, and why he hadn't slept with her last night. Did she mean more to him than he let on? Is that why he wanted to wait to sleep with her?

The thought sends you heart sinking into your stomach.

"I have something I need to tell you." Bucky pauses and gazes so deeply into your eyes, something swimming in his blue irises, but you couldn't tell what. That was what scared you the most.

"I... I haven't been completely honest with you about how I've been feeling as of late. And I can't keep... keep being dishonest to myself and you, Y/N."

Tears were welling against your lashline, begging to be released at his words.

This was it. It’s all about to be over for good.

He approaches closer, hands coming to your jawline; his hold so delicate and soft that it makes you even more upset.

"Y/N... You are the most important person in my life. I can't imagine sharing any part of my life without you. You're the only person I want to see when I have something on my mind, I yearn for your touch when you aren't there, and lately, I've been confused as hell trying to understand why." His soft voice makes you weak in the knees.

Cue more tears.

"I just... I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you. And I'm sorry I went on that date... I'm sorry for a lot of things."

"Can I ask you something?" You ask quietly.

"Of course, honey."

"Why didn't you sleep with her?"

The weight of the question sits heavily in the air, and Bucky's features soften a smidge.

"I couldn't do it. I tried to get myself into it, into her. Both figuratively and literally." He laughs at his own joke, "but no part of me wanted to spend time with her over you. All I could think about was you. The entire date, I was thinking about what you were doing. What you were thinking about. You're all that takes up my mind these days. It kills me, not being around you when you're gone. I wish I could express to you how much I love you, but there aren't any words that could explain the extent of my feelings for you, Y/N. All I can really say is that I love you. You're my best friend. I can't think of anyone else who has the same effect on me that you have."

All you can think of you when you hear those words is the pounding in your chest and the fluttering in your lungs.

A wet, snotty smile crosses your face and you let out a garbled laugh.

"You love me?" Your hands slide up his chest to his shoulders, fingers grasping onto them.

"For as long as I can remember, honey. You're everything to me. The stars, the moon, the sky. It's all you." He returns the same smile, large thumbs caressing under your eyes to swipe at the fallen tears at his admission. "Do you love me?"

The way he asks you the question makes it sound so minuscule, so minute and almost childish, because you think he knows the answer.

"I do. I love you so much that I can't even think properly when I'm around you, Bucky. You take up every inch of my heart and my mind. I love you." You confess, the words spilling out of you like they belonged to him.

The grin that stretches across his cheeks is almost unreal, like a cartoon character. You could practically see the hearts in his eyes at your words.

The kiss that he molds upon your lips with his own steals all the air out of your lungs, and while one of your hands threads through his soft locks at the nape of his neck and your eyes fall shut, the other slides down to his chest, resting right over his heart.

You feel it against your palm and fingers, the pounding of the organ at the feeling of finally kissing you.

You wish he could feel yours, equally as loud and obvious.

His own hands are cradling your cheeks ever so gently, but the way he's kissing you is anything but. It was full of want, need, yearning. Everything you’ve been waiting for for months, finally being released in this moment.

When he finally pulls away for air, your eyes remain closed. You never wanted this moment to end, and if you opened your eyes now, you're afraid you'll wake and this will all be a cruel dream.

"Let me see those eyes, sweetheart." He mumbles and you can almost feel the words against your lips.

When your eyes peel open again almost drowsily, Bucky's smile is all you see. His nose is still brushing against yours, and you feel weak in the knees all over again at the proximity.

"I love you. And you love me. You know what that means?" He says.

"What?" Is all you can muster to reply at the moment.

"It means I owe those two bozos at home an apology and a beer, probably."

The laugh that escapes you lights him up inside, the sound being his favorite thing in the world. If he could make you laugh forever, he'd die a happy man.

"They knew this whole time, y'know? They actually confronted me about it. I didn't even tell them first. I guess I was just that obvious." You laugh at the memory, Bucky fondly smiling.

"I expect nothing less from them. You should've seen Sam before I left last night. Acting like he was your dad or something." Bucky's large arms come to wrap around you, holding you against his body.

"Oh, I wouldn't wanna be on side of Sam's attitude. I'm glad you made it out alive." You giggle once more, arms looping around his neck.

"Now when we go back I'm gonna have to face the 'I told you so's' from them. Kill me now." He rolls his eyes at the thought.

"Well, if they kill you now, you wouldn't be able to take me out to dinner tomorrow night." You tell him coyly, like the idea was already put in place.

"Huh, seems like you're right, honey. Couldn't leave my one and only girl hanging."

Bucky finally releases you from his hold- not that you wanted to be released of it- and walks towards the stairwell to head back down.

"C'mon. We've got a movie and ice cream waiting for us at home, sweetheart." He holds out his hand, and you don't hesitate to leap forward and grab it in your own.

"Let's go, Buck. I have lots to tell you about my shift last night."

"Oh, I'm sure the night shift was just riveting." He laughs as he leads you down the steps.

"Yeah, well all I could really think about was you being on a date with that girl, so yeah, maybe not the most pleasant time to have all night to yourself." You scoff.

"Well, you're never gonna have to worry about that again, will you?" He steals another peck from your lips, the blush creeping across your face at the gesture.

"I suppose not, no."

-

fin.