#I'm glad i gave it a try again because it really gives me a purpose these days when not much else does

[ottpopfic]

Leo’s husband is pissed

Not at him, Jason very rarely gets this pissed at family. The last time he was this pissed at someone in their inner circle was when he heard that the reason Will and Nico were not going to keep their now goddaughter was because they were not sure they could give her the time and attention she deserved on their own. The tongue-lashing Jason gave Nico had been brutal, reminding him that he and Leo and the entire Way Station had been with them about her since the beginning. But it had been alright in the end, Katie has been with them for two years at this point and is thriving

And nothing can get Jason this mad like something related to their kid. It's not so much Katie this time, though she was the original catalyst, this time it is New Rome and the Senate digging in their heels about setting an age limit to join the Legion. Or more the extraction and rehoming of multiple children, finding it easier to do nothing than do right by a bunch of preteens and grade schoolers

“It really is horse shit” Leo agrees around his toothbrush, watching his husband pace in an angry circle through the bathroom door as he rants half in Wolf Speak

“And then, and then” Jason continues on “Lucius had the gall of saying it should be fine because I turned out fine” The blond then does a series of growls and postures that Leo knows is some very intense profanity directed at the Senate and there parentage or lack thereof

“And what did you say?” Leo asks as he does his rinse and spit

“I told him where he could shove that notion with his-” Then Jason is lapsing back into Wolf again with a big angry sneeze snort and his shoulders up by his ears, his prowling of the rug gaining a heavier footfall, recanting to Leo exactly what he thinks of that assessment

Leo snorts a laugh as he hits the light switch for the bathroom “Did you say it exactly like that or were you more Praitor?”

“I was a professional, unfortunately”

“I'm glad we Greeks are way easier,” Leo sympathizes, making his way past his husband to sit on their bed “All you gotta do is win both the screaming match and the following fistfight and everything is fine and done with”

“That's because Camp Half-Blood doesn't play politics,” Jason laments, frustration in his every tone “With Conner’s program it feels like everyone is only focused on the kids, there's no - no ego involved”

“Rome is kinda known for ego Superman,” Leo says, trying to redirect the spiral “Didn't they stab a whole dude about it”

Jason gives a posture and look that tells Leo not to even start on purposeful historical inaccuracies because he's not in the mood for that type of banter, fair enough

“I'm just saying” Leo presses on, laying down on his husband’s pillow, “I think you need to get a knife in there, or gladiatorial rings? Is that still an option? Can you fight it out?”

“Not anymore” Jason growls in frustration and then starts doing another lap of the rug, snorting out another series of colorful curse words in Wolf

“Do you want to take it out on me?”

Jason freezes in his tracks, head whipping around to stare at Leo with his nostrils flared. Leo just smiles all teeth and stretches as enticingly as he can with his arms over his head. He knows how Jason likes him, something about the bend that has his husband's eyes tracking with that sharpness Leo loves. He lets his back leave the bed a little, hips canting and tilting his chin just so. He knows exactly what he's saying with his body, he's gotten good at speaking his man’s first language after all these years

Leo gets rewarded for his display with a still steaming blond all up in his space. A frankly huge hand is sliding under the arch of the small of his back, palm flush to his spine and lifting him close to his husband's middle until Leo’s hips are in the air. Jason holds his body up over him on his forearm, his bright blue eyes scanning his face as he settles in between his legs. Leo bites his lip to keep from giggling and quirks his eyebrows in challenge, hooking his legs over his man’s waist

“I'm gonna make you catch fire” Jason hisses, hell yeah “I'm gonna make you fucking cry”

“Is that a threat Mr.Valdez” Leo teases, making sure his grin is showing his teeth

The scar on his lip pulls as Jason flashes a canine “It's a promise” and then he is on Leo like he has something to prove

[ricoka]

I was just looking through old references I saved in 2020/early 2021 and I'm so incredibly proud of myself, when considering where I'm at now in comparison. Still a long way to go, but I saved some tutorials on what I'd now consider very basic knowledge. I often only see everything that I can't do, that I still need to learn. But I am really proud that I made it to this point. I never really thought I would.

[thefirstknife]

Ok now with context, Crow going through actually makes a lot of sense:

Because Crow has a connection to Mara, she can keep track of where he goes and Osiris can use that connection to make the bridge for the rest of us. From Osiris:

I love Mara's reaction too. She's obviously distraught, but she eventually relents:

Mara's days of thinking she alone can save everyone are long over. And her days of thinking that she can control and direct her brother are over too. Their radio message also destroyed me:

Mara: Are you sure you want this? Crow: Osiris thinks it's the best shot we've got. Mara: You didn't answer my question. Crow: I don't know... I've been trying to find what I want my whole life, even as Uldren. I used to think the Traveler gave me purpose. Uldren thought his came from you... Hmph. Mara: I never meant to twist you so - only to keep you safe. My protection turned malignant. For that... I am sorry. Crow: It wasn't just you. Uldren heard your heartbeat and chose to make that his core. He mistook impulse for meaning. I won't! So... I guess it's not that I want this. I need it. I believe in it. Even if I don't make it, everyone else just might. Mara: I sacrificed you before to preserve a chance for a future - I can't do that again. Crow: I'll be fine, as long as you and I stick together... Remember, Rega? Mara: Still subsisting off stories of hope and bravery. I have missed you. Crow: [chuckles] I guess I always have been the one to fill my head with nonsense, right? Mara: Your hope is not nonsense. It is a vital line of sustenance. One I have learned through our people. Fill your heart with it, and I will keep you in mine until you return to me. Crow: I will. Mara: Go, then. Find purpose of your own, and not one of mine or anyone else's making. Crow: Thank you, sister... You'll see me again. And this time, I'll remember you.

This is basically the culmination of their entire story ever since they were human. Mara always wanted to protect him because she felt responsible for him because their mother refused to be a parent to them. And since she was young at the time, she messed up her protective impulse and turned it into something awful. And over the years she's had time to think about it, especially in the last two years since she's been back in seasons. She went from being confused about Crow to being protective again to being rejected by him and learning that she needs to do things differently and now she fully apologised and realised what he needs: his own purpose, not anyone elses.

I'm really glad this got resolved before the saga ends and I'm actually really glad that Crow will be the one to do this for us (I have no doubts he'll be perfectly fine; he has to be, we know he makes it through and that a bridge is formed for us to go through), giving him a role that he always wanted to fulfil: a hero in a fantastic story.

It's also really good closure for Mara. She relinquished her control, especially over someone she always felt possessive and protective of and she is finalising her role as just a part of the bomb. We've been looking at her progress for years now and she's been through a lot of change and I think this is a really good way to show her formally and fully changed.

We still have a week to go, which is when we'll get the final lore page. Not sure if we're getting the final week next week or if they'll make us wait, given the extended season. Also no clue when Crow will actually be going through; right away or some end-of-season event or something. We'll have to wait and see! Really excited to find out what will happen for the last week. There's also two more radio messages, so one extra after the story is done.

[boba-beom]

All your posts are making me like 🫠 I think I reblogged all three keke

I need to shout about this... In the Miracle tiktok where Taehyun is dancing while SoobKai film with ILLIT... I don't know if he's eating or chewing gum but it looks like he's chewing gum and why is it so attractive to me. Now I've combined this with basketball Taehyun, thinking how hot it would be to watch him doing a solo practice, shooting and doing dribbling drills while casually making conversation with you, chewing gum the whole time. Am I crazy? Maybe, because before now, I'd probably say gum is gross.

WAIT but now I'm imagining this scenario is the first time you hang out after he sees you fraternising with the enemy (Yeonjun) and he's trying to act like it doesn't bother him that you gave him your number, only that you were clapping for the wrong team OKAY stop me and my imagination 😅 I love Taehyun

and I love you, so glad to see you're still around 💕

CEE I love you too! and I'm happy to see you around also <3 you have no idea how much I've been giggling to myself from your tags hehe :> thank you for the rbs and reading your reactions were fun too 🤭 and you saying that I make sport-centric fics fun for you to read is truly a huge compliment to me omg, I always get nervous because I'm not 100% sure about what I'm writing most of the time, so thank you ilysm 🫶🏼

ALSO reading this made my jaw drop because you're literally onto something with that omg. I noticed that too during soogyu's tiktok with ILLIT— it's the way taehyun does it so nonchalantly with the subtle chewing and it is kinda hot. I used to find people who do that quite obnoxious lmao, but like I can't stand if they're really smacking their gum, ygm? ANYWAY—

jealous bsf!taehyun x gn!reader, dialogue heavy

okay so, the first time you and taehyun hang out after the game is a couple of days later. he'd agreed to hang out with you at the park since you both had checked the weather in advance; it was sunnier than usual. you both decided to meet each other at your regular spot and you're not surprised to find taehyun already there, sitting on the grass and on his phone. usually he'd notice you when you walk up behind him, but it was almost like he'd purposely ignored you and waiting until you had to announce that you were there.

"tyun?" you sit beside him slowly leaning in to give him a usual hug when you greet each other but he gave you a lazy side hug. damn. "been waiting long?"

"no."

that's all you get? he pockets his phone, palms against the grass as he leans back chewing his gum nonchalantly and looking at the busy field in front of you. there seems to be a group of high schoolers training for soccer.

"um, are we good?" you ask quietly, heart pounding in your chest and a little afraid for the first time in forever.

he hums, eyes focused on the ball being passed from player to player.

"yeah, why wouldn't we?" his voice monotone but knowing taehyun, that was normal. "how's yeonjun. are you guys like text buddies now or something?"

now that wasn't what you were expecting. well shit. taehyun's mad and you don't know if that's all he has to say about it.

"no, tyun. he didn't even call me so I don't even have his number. I'm assuming he's busy is all. I wasn't really expecting much." you nudge his shoulder playfully, craning your neck in attempt to be in his visual field, but to no avail, his vision doesn't budge. you sit back in your original position, also watching the ball from afar. "does it bother you?"

you best friend scoffs, apparently he finds something humorous that you possibly missed.

"it doesn't. why'd you even talk to that guy anyway, you know he just does that to boost his ego because he lost the game." taehyun finally turns his head to look at you and you look at him within a fraction of a second, eyes holding eye contact for the first time that day.

"I'm sure he had good intentions-"

"good intentions." taehyun scoffs again, almost chuckles after he repeats it again. "that guy never has good intentions, ___. and I thought you were there to support me, then I catch you clapping for his three pointer."

your stomach churns a little from the guilt. you didn't know he saw that. and what do you even say? you thought it was impressive? you had a feeling yeonjun shot that shot for you?

"don't even try and think of some lame ass excuse because you know damn well I can tell when you're not telling me the truth." his voice assertive but his gaze on you softens, wanting you to be comfortable with him like you usually are.

you let out a deep sigh.

"he looked at me before that moment and I assumed he did that to impress me..." your voice trails off, trying to look at taehyun through your peripheral, not wanting to look at him directly. "I don't know tyun, he seemed pretty genuine and he's kinda cute too."

after explaining as honestly as you could, the air was filled with a short silence between the both of you and distant shouting and birds flying by.

"I can be kinda cute too." taehyun grumbles under his breath and you swear it wasn't some sort of auditory hallucination. that is what you heard, right?

"hm?" you turn to him, tilting your head to the side waiting for him to hopefully repeat himself.

"why'd you want him when I've been here all this time." his rhetorical reply left you blinking a couple of times, processing what exactly he's inferring. "in short, you have me. and I have you."

your chest starts heaving slowly. taehyun, your best friend, really said that. his fingers gently caresses yours, also supporting your weight on the grass while you both lean back.

the train of thought in your discombobulated mind is disrupted by him calling your name, now in a softer tone.

"so, what do you say? I'm willing to risk this friendship and try something more with you, ___. if you let me."

his says his confession, almost as if he's been yearning for you to be his for a while, but is it wrong that you still can't stop thinking about yeonjun?

"taehyun," you sit upright, holding his hand in yours. "I'm going to be honest with you, but promise me don't get mad."

the hope in taehyuns eyes disappears, feeling his heart sink to his stomach ready for your rejection. he nods.

"I love you, and always have, but that's because you're my best friend. and at the moment, yeonjun left quite the impression on me so he's still on my mind, but there's nothing much that helps him in his favour."

"so what you're saying is?" your fingers interlock with his, your thumb rubbing the back of his.

"is that I'm willing to try this with you, because, unlike you," you tease, "I like to give people chances."

you prod at his side as he exhales and rolls his eyes playfully.

"I couldn't risk you being whisked away before I even made a move on you." taehyun defends himself the best he could.

"no but really, from time to time I have felt like I've loved you more than a friend. so that's why I want to try, but can we take it slow?"

"yeah, of course. I'll just have to push yeonjun out your thoughts first." his comment makes you laugh.

taehyun's singular dimpled smile returns and it's contagious, he has you smiling back at him too. you didn't realise when you two ended up sitting closer to each other to close the gap, but you took the opportunity to lean your head on his shoulder.

"and you are kinda cute."

© BOBA-BEOM ; all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, alter or translate in any way or platform.

[bgomtori]

10 - again?

09 | masterlist | 11

warnings - slight depictions of nail/ skin picking

notes - i'm so sorry for the slow updates :' i'm drowning in school work and i have a sprained thumb 😢 but i'm trying my best to update this smau asap! along with a bday post for gyu :)

the lunch bell rung, students quickly sprung out of their seats after thanking the teacher, making a beeline towards the cafeteria before it gets too crowded. you slowly walked towards the rooftop, your and beomgyu's secret hideout during any break, however today was definitely not your day

"oh, yn." a familiar voice called your name, you cringed at the sound of your name rolling off his tongue. "what do you want hyunjin." turning around to face the slightly taller male.

"yikes how cold. did you receive my note?" hyunjin asked, eyes burning into your soul. you wanted to get out of the situation quickly, but you didn't know how. you were rooted on the ground, unsure of what to do. "yea, why did you leave it in there." you spat, anger coursing through your veins. how is he talking to you so casually after everything he has done?

"isn't it obvious? i missed you, i've realised my mistake yn, you made such a huge impact in my life, i don't know what to do without you. please give me another chance?" hyunjin confessed, his hand placed on his heart, his face looking remorseful. you couldn't trust him, yet it felt genuine. your heart raced, not because you were feeling flustered but more of anxiousness, your mind was blank, unable to process anything hyunjin said. feeling conflicted, you felt tears pricking your eyes, fuck you didn't want to look vulnerable infront of hyunjin.

"yn?" a voice sounded, interrupting your train of thought. you heaved a sigh of relief as you saw beomgyu standing behind hyunjin, holding a plastic bag filled with food he bought for the both of you. beomgyu glared at hyunjin, purposely bumping into his shoulder, before grabbing your hand to guide you up to the rooftop.

as soon as you reached the rooftop, the atmosphere between you and beomgyu was awkward— it was obvious that beomgyu was confused to why hyunjin was talking to you. you started to pick on your nails, a habit of yours whenever you get nervous. beomgyu noticed this and placed your hand in his, lacing his fingers with yours, his thumb gently rubbing against your knuckles.

"don't do that, you'll hurt yourself." beomgyu whispered, his words slightly muffled from the food he still had in his mouth. "you're not mad?" you turned your head to look at him, slightly surprised to see him unfazed.

"why would i? i'm just upset that he's trying to do something on you-" beomgyu swallowed his food, "i'll never be mad at you yn, but all i want you to do is just tell me about anything that's bothering you, i'll help you." beomgyu continued, pulling you closer to him. the warmth of his body making you feel at ease. you knew that you could trust beomgyu, you did, but a part of you was going against it. you had a lot of your mind, only to come back to your sense after beomgyu gave you a soft squeeze on your hand. you looked into beomgyu's worried eyes, licking your lips before telling him what happened after he left you in the morning.

"i think hyunjin might be doing something, i'm not sure, i'll see if he leaves anymore letters after today to confirm it. beomgyu, i'm really scared, what if he's plotting something to break us apart." you rambled, not knowing that you were unintentionally scratching your thigh out of pure nervousness. beomgyu whince at the sight of you involuntarily harming yourself, he took your other hand, carressing it slowly.

"don't worry too much, i'll make sure that he won't and can't do anything to make you feel this way again. i'll try my best to protect you mkay?" beomgyu reassured, tucking the loose strand on hair behind your ear as he cupped your cheeks. you nodded your head, taking small bites out of the bibimbap beomgyu bought to share with you.

you were glad that beomgyu was able to perfectly comfort your with his words amd actions at the same time, you felt so lucky.

taglist opened : @woncheecks @skzeyeu @moa4lifeee @binluvsu @mikitaxt @soobadooba @beargyuuzz @boba-beom @txtbrainrot @koeuh @sungbinie @heyanonymous123 @solouvrr @luvlybeom @rgyui @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rainbowsuni @be-argyu @20-cms @intothewinter @wintertxt @vixialuvs @heiiolifeee @lenasvoid @green-agent @soobs-things @doumachi @purennn @mrsyawnzzn @beomsite @seunnimg @stqrrian @you-make-skz-stay @mwahvvis @softcabur @run2min @txtlyn @bluebearybeom @imsiriuslyreal @seestrio @cheesemonky @rikizm @ryunjin0 @hrtbeomi @zzhyuu @everythingvirgoes @k1ttylvr (send an ask or comment to be in the taglist)

[bubblegumflavor]

Johnny Lawrence is a character that is always pushed down. Him being physically stronger than Daniel doesn't help his mind being constantly challenged. He enters the Karate Kid with his mind strong, with the will to make it better, to make it work. Yeah he beats up Daniel a lot and worse than excusable, but he just wanted to talk to Ali and Ali is pretty mean to him, promising she will talk but then just plays the music again... Daniel sucker punches him first. Daniel humiliates him at the Halloween party and yeah, they beat Daniel up but Mr. Miyagi.. an adult.. breaking a teenager's arm? (Tommy) instead of acting like an adult and de-escalate the situation? Well..

While Daniel is provoking Johnny constantly, Johnny leaves Daniel alone until the tournament, where he again, gets manipulated, humiliated, loses his father figure, gets robbed of his chance to win fairly, still has the courage to get up and give Daniel the trophy, saying he's alright which is an apology, I don't care what other people say. Then outside him getting beaten and humiliated continues with Kreese almost killing him for ending up second place.

And in Cobra Kai it continues... I mean it's also funny and entertaining but it also hurts me to think about how often Johnny is forced to take charity from Daniel, how he can't stop drinking, how everything is always his fault, how he just feels worth of Carmen's affection after performing miracles for her, how he wanted Ali but Amanda says hahah not on my watch, remember Carmen and he's like oh yeah... right then I must love Carmen, I figured it out! (But it was Amanda actually... lol)

I was just watching season 1 again and especially that scene where Johnny is literally on the ground to get his beer and Daniel shows off his dominance because he has the money, it hurts. I wish we had seen Johnny not taking the beer because Daniel paid it or something. Just walking out. Let the man have some dignity!! (I could go on forever I really feel like it got worse in the show to the point where his whole purpose is to fulfill Carmen's dreams but I am rewatching atm and see if I just made it worse in my head, I at least was able to enjoy season 1 again and thats a personal win since I wasn't able to rewatch after s5)

Johnny paying back Sid and finally cut him out of his life is so satisfying to watch, I'm so glad they did that.

I know he has some wins too like I feel equally sad for Daniel when Cobra Kai overpowers his Miyagi-Do presentation and Daniel was so excited for it.. I love watching them get back at each other and all just some nuances leave a bad taste in my mouth when I'm overthinking it.

I love Johnny so much.. He is my comfort character and thinking about all of this hurts me physically. So I try not to. A lot of this in Cobra Kai was done for comic relief and gave us hilarious moments and if I don't think too much about it I can enjoy them all but I, personally, will never enjoy content where Johnny is portrayed as weaker as Daniel or submissive to Daniel or anyone else. (Which doesn't mean he can't have weak moments and Daniel be the one comforting him, that is sth different and I love that!) (I don't enjoy Daniel being 'babygirled' either but that's a different story, lol)

Just some thoughts I needed to get out of my system with my sunday morning coffee =)

[smittenbyvillains]

Hi!!! so I was wondering if I could request a Eobard x fem reader fic where the reader works at star labs (before the particle accelerator explosion) and is competing with Hartley for a promotion, so reader decides to seduce Eobard into giving it to her followed by some smut. if your not comfortable writing this that’s okay! it’s just boss!eowells is really plaguing my thots rn 😩😩😩

IM GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET

Warnings: smutty, use of good girl, he's baby girl, use of sir possibly heheHEHE (sorry I'm so rusty)

Y/N really wanted the promotion and needed it. Your rent just really went up. It was the landlord just being a complete ass about it. Y/N was thinking of ways to do get the promotion that was right but none of it seemed to work because Hartley wanted the same promotion. Y/N groaned to themselves at her work desk. It was starting to get late, and you had been trying to get the most done. Then an idea came in mind. You noticed how your boss aka Harrison Wells would steal glances at you. A plan was coming through. Although you never thought you would have done that. You knew he always stayed late. You decided to go to his office. Of course, Hartley was there chatting with Harrison. You knocked on the office door. Questioning if this was the right idea. "Come in." Eobard said. He knew it was you. He dismissed Hartley telling him to get some rest. Hartley didn't want to but knew it was best not to fight the orders. He walked out after you came in and gave you a glare. You ignored it. Eobard smiled at you. He was glad he hired you.

You approached his desk and put a huge smile on. He looked at you knowing something was up but didn't comment. "I'm surprised you haven't gone home; you usually care about sleep." He chuckled.

"I haven't finished what I wanted to do for the day. I was hoping we could talk." You said trying to start up a conversation. You decided to go behind his desk and sit on his desk. He watched as you did that and held back the smirk. He saw how you skirt was riding up.

"Ah, I see, what do you want to talk about?" he asked as he sat in his chair and leaned back. He was now purposely looking at you.

"I wanted to admit something, I haven't been able to... it could risk my job." You said and bit your lip more out of nervousness. He nodded. "You can tell me anything." Eobard said. You took a deep breath.

"I like you; I like my boss." You spoke. "I can't get you out of my head." You spoke. It wasn't even a lie. He didn't seem surprised and leaned forward.

"I see, how come you didn't tell me before?" He asked. You blushed a bit.

"I can't lose my job... I've been trying to get the promotion.... cause I do need it." You said and moved closer. Eobard nodded and smiled.

"I can help you with both." He spoke. He leaned forward and slowly stood up. You looked up at him. You hardly said anything he was already saying this? He gently grasped your hips with one hand and lifted your chin with the other. His thumb rubbing your lip as he looked into your eyes. "You can say no anytime." He added and you nodded.

Eobard leaned in and kissed you slowly and you melted into the kiss and kissed him back. He pulled you closer to him getting desperate and more by the second. His hand on your hip moving up to your neck. He pulled away to look into your eyes. "You're so beautiful." He spoke in a tone saying he meant it. "I've been waiting for this."

Eobard was quick to kiss you again. He thought your dumbfounded reaction was adorable. Did you really not see? He smirked a bit and sat back and pulled you into his lap. You gasped. You started to grind against his one thigh. He watched as you did this. He pulled away from the kiss.

"Oh, what a needy girl, huh?" He said into your ear as he leaned in close to ear before kissing down your neck. His hands started to pull your blouse off. You whimpered. "Want more?" He teased. You nodded. "Words my sweet lady." He said. You pouted for a second.

"Please sir." You said not knowing what slipped. His eyes darkened more.

"Good girl, you keep calling me that and I am all yours." He spoke. He lifted you up enough to get your skirt and underwear off after getting your bra off. He admired your body as you sat there in his lap. "Now how about you help your boss?" He didn't really ask. You nodded quickly and got his pants off and his underwear. You went bright red. "You are sure my sweet lady." he asked again.

"Yes sir, I'm sure." You answered. He pulled you close again and chuckled as his hand moved down your body and he felt how wet you are already for him.

"So wet already for your boss hm?" He teased you and you whimpered as he continued to rub your clit.

"Please sir~" You whined. He chuckled and prepared you for a few more minutes before sinking you down slowly. You gasped and moaned as he felt so good inside of you. He groaned at how well you fit him. You were made for him. He slowly moved your hips to get you used to it. After a minute you got the rhythm and started to ride him. The office was filled of moans and groans of pleasure. An occasional whimper of pleasure. You were getting close and closer to cumming so was Eobard. He could tell.

"Cum for me my good girl~" he said. He had started to thrust up. You moaned as you started to quiver as you came. "Oh~ Good girl." He said as he came with a moan. He had you lean against him as he rode out each of your highs. "You got the promotion but a different one love." He smirked. "You will be everywhere with me." He spoke. "And i mean everywhere." He said with a darker smirk. He wasn't letting go of you now. Not even when his plan gets in motion. And you will be coming with him.

[feuqueerfire]

DFF Characters That Compel Me

Hard for me to say I like these characters but there are a few who I'm fascinated by and think about them often and apparently wanted to write a long post about it.

I'd love to hear if you have any characters that gave you brain rot and want to write about, especially because idk if most people have a favourite character in here? Or if they love the character? I'm curious to know how people interact with the characters in this show.

I'll talk about 3: New-Tan, Tee, and Fluke.

New-Tan

Of my top 3, the most obvious and popular one is New-Tan. I will always love a sibling bond in stories and what's better than sibling revenge? Especially delicious because New was a shit Phi to Non while they were living in the same house, didn't care about anything Non said or showed him, and probably did nothing to comfort Non when their parents looked at New more favourably. And yet, he gives up his entire self for Non: He gives up his scholarship and his education, he lies to his parents, and he constantly smokes drugs to get to see Non. He gives up his entire identity when he assumes the new role of Tan and becomes someone whose existence and purpose is to avenge Non. I liked the twist that it was actually New who was the driver behind the revenge, it felt so much more desperate. The revenge and killing also take so much patience and intelligence, whether it be the drugs or the traps or making Top the faux killer for a bit. In the end, he follows his brother's script and makes sure that they all die and nobody leaves that house.

I think a lot of love and support for New came from people's love and pity for Non because they wanted New to avenge Non. Non wasn't really a character that I felt much for, to be honest; like obviously his situation was sad but I never really thought about him when he wasn't on-screen, so I think my view of New is more about what doing all this means to New himself rather than what it means for Non.

I loved the ending for him too. As I said, he gave everything up and had nothing waiting for him out there, so it feels narratively fitting that he dies in that house with them. Before, New used to see Non tell him to take revenge and accuse him of abondoning him but here, he sees Non thank him for avenging him in his hallucinations. Then, he immediately thinks about using Uncle Dang and White as collateral, the innocents that he had to use and discard (the same way Non was), to gain that gratitude. Doesn't have much time to duel on it though because he's helpless again when he sees Non hang himself. I'm glad that the last thing New sees is Non emerging from the light to thank him before returning to the light.

Love him <3 Also look at his cute, mass-murdering face here (when Fluke shoots Top I think)

Seems like I have a lot to say, so I'll put Tee and Fluke under Read More.

Tee

In the earlier episodes, Tee was irritating as he and Top kept trying to destroy the footage, fucking ran off with the motorcycle, and were just being overall selfish and hiding things. In the past, I was softening up to Tee when we discovered that he, as a teenager, works doing shady shit for his uncle to buy meds for his father but he was still a POS.

I can't believe he covered for Top and made Non not only take the blame for it but also dragged him into the stupid gang mafia horse account shit with him. He brought Non into this world that had no way of escape, like if Non couldn't get the money, interest would continue accruing and he'd be trapped in the cycle while after he did get the money, Non was beaten and kidnapped. Non literally died in the stupid room.

Yet Tee claimed he didn't think that his uncle would truly kill Non or whatever, how stupid, how can you think that after you've worked under him? His naiveté confused me and I still wonder if it wasn't purposeful ignorance. If Tee convinces himself that he truly never guessed what could happen to Non, maybe he'll feel less guilt about what ended up happening. Selfish, selfish.

Tee felt so alone, even if he was in the group it's not like he could tell them about his side hustle (except fuckass Top). When he was consumed by guilt after Non's death, he still couldn't tell anybody what truly happened. He didn't have family to rely on, either. His scene with his father was so sad as he cried that his father was supposed to be the one taking care of him but his dad was laughing about how Tee has gray hairs now. Ah, sad.

Then, of course, he meets the only good thing in his life, White. He's such a bastard to White too, like getting his high school bf who is 2-years younger into pot lol (White was probably 15 there?), fucking leaving White to get on that bike with Top, and also his apparently uncontrollable jealousy. It seemed like such an over-the-top reaction when he reacts badly to White and Jin's acting scene in ep 1 and the fact that White's hallucination fear at the end involved Tee breaking up with him with accusations of being unfaithful? Bro, Tee, while White was brining light into your life, what the hell were you doing for White? And then of course the end, where he stabbed White... I don't even have words.

I like Tee but I'm influenced by Tee/White, sue me. I've been watching edits and been in a state of disarray because I'm so sad about this. Fucking fuck fuck. I watch series and sometimes I love a pairing and that manifests into me thinking up scenarios of them post-canon or in a missing scene in the show. Can't do that here, can I? Fuck, I was prepared for Tee to die. I needed Tee to die, I wanted him dead dead dead. I was not prepared for what the fuck they gave me, I can't believe Tee stabbed White.

Love him <3 selfish, lonely fucker who was trapped but dragged Non and White into his hell with him.

Also have this TeeWhite edit to White Ferrari by Frank Ocean. "You say we're taller in another dimension" is truly ending me fuck

Fluke

Personally, I haven't heard much discussion about Fluke but he was the first character who I got really into because we started to get to know his personality in the earlier eps while he was alone in the house with White and taking care of Por.

I got into watching shows/series through Squid Game lol and the character that most compelled me there was Sangwoo, truly another dickhead and although they're not the same at all, I still found some similarities, such as their career-related status (Sangwoo being an SNU-graduate with a great job unlike most others there and Fluke's obsession with having a clean record to become a doctor), throwing their weight around (tricking Ali and being mean/scary to White), and just their selfish tendencies in general.

Fluke was overly concerned with his reputation and didn't want the new kids to know what happened 3 years ago with Non, which is what I first picked up on about his character before we got to the flashbacks. It was so selfish; people were worried about a life-and-death situation, but Fluke could only think about his future ambitions. I remember being extremely baffled at the end of episode 4 (I believe) when he points the gun at Tee, tells the walkie-talkie to not come, and then DESTROYS it, severing their connection to the outside world and leaving them trapped with a murderer/ghost/whatever. Just so that they don't become murder suspects for Por's death? girl, I don't understand your plan but you were clearly blinded by your greed for the future.

I love seeing selfish, cowardly characters, and Fluke certainly is one. He witnessed such crucial wrongs and misdoings against Non (Top breaking the camera which started the whole damn thing and Non recording the video which broke the camel's back) but never once spoke up. He said he didn't want to become "like [Non]" meaning he was protecting his own hide by making sure there was someone more bullyable present so that they didn't turn on him. A coward and a dick. In the end, I found it fitting that he had to gouge his eyes out.

Fluke didn't ever stand up to his friends or oppose them, but his cowardly ass was ordering White around while they were alone. Also, the bravado with which he wielded the gun in the later episodes, even taking White hostage and shooting Top, but once somebody else like Tee or Phee had the gun, he was cowering, rolled into a ball with his knees to his chest. Ah, the different ways he behaves when he thinks he has the upper hand vs when he's at somebody else's mercy!

Love him, what a useless character <3 Also, if you ever need to tell your secret but don't want it to get out, just tell Fluke to get it off your chest, that man is never saying a damn thing (even if it would save someone's life).

Anyway, that's that I guess. So many words here and none of it new but I needed to write all these words out, they were haunting me.

[lana7779]

Hi, it is me, the selfcest (Breakcest?) anon again! You did not disappoint with your thoughts , as always! You are so right about the healing type of dynamic Break would have with his younger self. I have only ever seen Pinterest art of the two before, which just made their relationship would be purely sexual but there is much potential for something more soft between too. I could see Break coming back to his younger self on purpose to try to save him like one of those Christmas Ghost stories xP As for me writing for the pair... I am a little shy, I don't know if I could be as brave as you to post my fics for the world to see and criticise...

Heyy!!!

I'm glad I did not disappoint! I really do need to give Kevin more thoughts, because he has been through so much, and I really do think that Break, as much as he wants to distance himself from his old life, respects the experience Kevin gave him.

I think I know the art you're talking about. Hahah, really brings a whole other meaning to the term "love thyself". I mean, I'm not saying that after Break is done kissing all of Kevin's worries away he wouldn't drag him to the bedroom... after all, smut and fluff aren't mutually exclusive, so where there is fluff there can always be smut! But I'll leave that up to people's imaginations... ;D

But yes, I definitely think Break would get an absolute kick out of going back to meet his past self. Him especially out of the whole cast, just because of how much his past shaped who he is now, and they are practically two different people.

Kinda random thought, but I hope if he was to go back in time and meet his younger self and "fix him", that wouldn't alter the timeline wherein Break wouldn't exist........ (time travel makes my brain hurt, I should not entertain this thought any further... haha) HYPOTHETICALLY speaking though, if Break was to help Kevin become a better version of himself, I want Break to still remain Break, independently of a fixed Kevin. There. That's how I want this pair to work.

As for your fics being criticized... I'll tell you about the beauty of rarepairs, and that is, people generally SEEK rarepair content, they don't just stumble upon it. And if somebody decides to be critical of a rarepair, (knowing fully well that they went out of their way to seek that content), well... it just reminds me of this meme:

Likewise, I guess I just generally trust people to follow the "don't like, don't read" rule. And then those that do choose to read it and don't like it for whatever reason to just... stop reading and move on?

I'm a firm believer that the right people will find my content in due time. As you've seen, I write for the most questionable, least popular PH ships out there, and yet they're still getting love and support from the right people.

So if you ever do find the courage to post what you've got, I'm sure you'll do great! <3

[duckielover151]

Some OPLA Thoughts: Episode 7

This one was really interesting. There were some definite changes made to Nami's backstory that I honestly haven't decided yet whether I like or not. (Or maybe 'accept' is a better word than 'like'...)

I think it's a shame that live action-only viewers won't get as complete a view of Bellemere. Of how she used to be a troublemaker just like Nami... only to straighten herself out in the Navy... and then surprise everyone by giving that life up to raise two orphans she'd found when she was still so young... There was this palpable sense of pride in the town regarding Bellemere in the anime that I just didn't get here. But there may still be time for more flashbacks in the denouement, once Arlong's taken care of.

What we're not going to get back is that Nojiko definitely has... maybe not less of a personality, but I feel like there's less purpose to her presence here.

This is where I'm a little torn, because I think Nami's backstory as the live action depicts it does still work. The one where she offers herself to Arlong willingly and genuinely doesn't let on to anybody that she's doing it to try and save the town and not out of greed or a more selfish sort of survival.

But the anime's version was just so powerful. That Nojiko knew her sister's true intentions... that she was the only person Nami could rely on (or so she thought) whenever she returned home... It just gave a whole different kind of depth to their relationship. And a different kind of strength to Nojiko for being in on it, her sister's confidant.

I think the emotion behind the scene where Nami tells her everything is still really great. I don't think the live action's version is a bad portrayal. And I understand that it was likely tweaked because the nuances of the original would have taken more time to get across than they had. ...Like I said, I'm just a little torn. Mourning the things we lost a bit. (But it's nowhere near how I felt about them leaving out some fundamental things about Kuina so...)

I've gotta say, shoutout to Lily Fisher, who played young Nami. It's not like I've had any complaints about the acting/casting so far, but she really killed it. There are big name adult actors who don't achieve the kind of emotion she poured into her lines here.

They did not skimp at all on Arlong's crew and Arlong Park, and it's been really great. (Though I have to say, I haven't noticed Hachi anywhere in the crowd yet... I'm hoping to see him show up in the battle.)

There's been so much included in every single episode... This one was almost entirely spent in Nami's village, exploring her background and motivations... but it still feels so dense. I'm really glad they were prepared to dedicate so much time to it. (Though I really loved the scene at the Baratie this episode. Helmeppo and Koby getting shit done while Zeff and Garp are on their date... Koby actually brought up an angle I've never considered before-- that Helmeppo might be able to relate to Luffy... just a bit? for growing up on the reign of Axe-Hand Morgan, maybe wanting some freedom? I'd like to see that explored.)

And you know what? I'd actually already seen the scene where Nami finally breaks down and asks for Luffy's help, and I wasn't all that impressed by it. It felt kind of awkward in the live action. But seeing it again, as part of the whole episode, right after Arlong's speech, preparing his crew to destroy the village... Seeing it as part of the whole episode, it evoked all the emotions it was meant to.

I am just a little bit worried about the last episode maybe feeling rushed? I've seen the screenshot of that iconic scene where they all formally announce their dreams as they're heading into the Grand Line and... There's just no way they can get there with only one episode to go, right? Loguetown can't happen in season one, if we haven't dealt with Arlong yet. They must move that scene up, because there just isn't time.

But this adaptation has made me so eager to see this crew reach the site of Roger's execution... I haven't even finished it yet, and I'm already impatient for season two!

[dipolardruid]

Can I have a darling who accidentally kisses the yanderes on the mouth when trying to kiss them on the cheek

Anell

She'd see you get closer to her and turn towards you thinking you're gonna tell her something, Only to feel your lips on hers.

She'd practically faint, Her face is red she's giggling and feeling over the moon at this accident or not she feels like the happiest woman on earth right now.

"It was an accident? Well...it still felt nice."

Tina

You both had tried to kiss eachothers cheek which would end up with both of you locking lips.

Tina would be over the moon and make a huge scene "AH you actually kissed me!" If you try to say it was an accident she'll act like she didn't hear you and keep screaming it from the rooftops.

"I'm glad you finally had the courage to kiss me I've been dying to know how they felt, now I know, kiss me again will you?"

Paul

After winning a game you had grabbed paul by the shoulder and went to kiss him on the cheek from behind him in which he'd turn his head resulting in you kissing him.

His eyes widened his face full of shock before the biggest grin shows up his face his eyes sparkling, the people around not helping with their teasing screams and yells.

In result paul puts you in a head lock squeezing you towards him.

"Accident or not atleast now they know you and I are a true team."

Petra

During one of the incidents with one of your classmates petra had gone to help you which had stopped a potential fight from happening in the hallways.

"You tru-" petra's eyes widen in shock a blush forming "I'm so sorry Petra that was an accident!" Despite you apologising and attempting to get her attention she just stands there silent and face completely red.

"We're late to class because of this incident let's just go" she grabs your wrist before speedwalking down the hall.

Jake

He knew you were debating whether you should kiss his cheek or not so when you leaned in he was prepared and purposely moved his head to face you resulting in you kissing him in which he'd smirk as you sputter apologies.

Leaning back against his chair he opens his arms and motions you to go to him.

"Come on now you already kissed me the least you can do is take responsibility and give me something in return, don't you agree?"

Betra

Absolute horror will be all over her face as she stares at you "I meant to kiss your cheek." Is all you say to her as your father is laughing in the background.

Betra will sit in stunned silence for a good minute before shaking it off, looking at you as if you just gave her a stack of cash

"You're really not going to let me live that down are you?" Betra gives a small smile before responding "Not at all."

Request are open!

[f2e5b1]

Hello! First of all, I'm sorry if my question is bothering you in any way. I found your blog back in 2023 from the hashtag Tim Drake, out of boredom, I started to read your "Dear Robin" fan fiction and guess what? I'm instantly in love to your writing! It's very beautiful and nostalgic in some kind of way, and I really love the way you wrote the characters.

But the thing that made me really attached with your writing is the fact that I first discovered it when I was studying for my entrance exam. Reading your story gave me a really great boost during that period of time because everytime I read it it always give a sense of comfort to me. Long story short, back in March I got the acceptance letter to my dream school! And even though it's weird, everytime I think about my new school I always get a reminiscence of the story you made, and for that, I just want to say thank you. You writing is amazing.

Anyway, I'm going to my school's dorm soon (much like the main character from your story I guess), and I'm just wondering if you will ever drop the next chapter of your story, because if so, then I would gladly wait for it! Thank you for reading this, and once again, sorry if this question is bothering you. Have a good night!

hi hello! first of all, congrats on getting accepted into your dream school, and thank you so much for your kind words. sorry for the late reply... i've admittedly been going back and forth to your message ever since i received, but i didn't really know how to respond to it, which is nothing against you btw - and i wasn't bothered at all! it's just that... i guess you could say i was surprised? that someone managed to find me even when i've changed my usernames so many times and deleted the fanfic itself from my blog - but i'm glad you did! thank you for finding me, for taking a chance on dear robin, and for loving my writing. it means the world to me to see this as someone who's always had extreme second thoughts on my stories/writing - but what writer doesn't? haha. i'm thankful that dear robin gave you the comfort you needed during your studies, which is honestly such an honor, knowing that my work offered someone comfort even though it wasn't exactly on purpose.

(sorry i kind of went under a long tangent orz...)

admittedly, i don't really remember now what compelled me to start writing a tim drake fanfiction since i've always been a dick grayson girl (which sort of bled into the story i guess haha), but i knew that i wanted to at least showcase my liking for tim at the time dc was still my hyperfixation - and maybe try out a new writing/story telling style that delved much more into the complexities of relationships (tim & reader, or the reader & her mother) and of growing up. i was scared of mischaracterizing tim, or any other batman characters as i never really grew up on the comics - and the most i've done is watch teen titans when i was a kid. but seeing the attention dear robin got on both tumblr on ao3 gave me the boost to continue writing! i know dear robin isn't the most perfect dc fanfiction, and maybe ive mischaracterized some of the characters to the point where the dc tumblr meta community might crucify me for doing so (biggest fear of mine ngl), but writing it was both a learning lesson and also a sense of comfort to me; i even remember being so excited to show my friend the first chapter last year, and the compliment he gave to my writing motivated me to share it with everyone else.

but over time, i started getting... tired? of writing it? but i still liked tim, i still liked reading the comics and finding out about him - but the inevitability of feeling self-conscious about my writing eventually crept up until all i did was repeatedly go back to my documents and edit the chapters. but i knew that these little changes wasn't what i wanted - i wanted to make so big of a change to the story and the way i've written it and i've considered it too many times over the course of the year (maybe even deleting the whole thing itself), but thanks to all the comments and messages like these... i decided to just keep it. i won't say i've found peace with it, per se, but rather i wouldn't want to leave you guys hanging after we've been through so much together - i spent too much of my time writing it instead of studying haha! honestly, the 7th chapter is somewhere in my drafts, but it's nowhere near finished. when i open the document, i find myself cringing just to read it, and i hate to feel that way about something i've worked so long on. but i don't want to give up on dear robin because i love that story - i wouldn't want to do it dirty by leaving it behind the dust.

the next chapter is far from finished - and tim and the reader's relationship is still so far from what i've promised since the very first chapter, but i do still want to continue dear robin until it reaches that point. i will keep writing, and post the next chapter some time soon. i realize that i'll never be satisfied with how i do or write my stories, but somewhere down along the road i just have to accept the fact that even if i don't, others will - and you are proof of that, anon. thank you so much, and if you still can, please continue supporting dear robin.

[calvatier]

Wanted to give him a shirt but honestly it's been a while since I've practiced drawing bodies bare cus I've been feeling like I need to hide it every time I do but honestly, who gives a darn 🙏

Just Amias,,,being a silly lil guy,,,I watched a jack frost edit and honestly it gave me the idea that I want Amias to be more charismatic and less "I'm troubled but hiding it w happiness",,,which he is but I think it'd be much more fitting if he was charming

Rambling:

I haven't been working on my story these days but I got some assignments done so I hope that I can get it going again (I always say that but I can't rly force it or the story wl feel weird and too stiff)

Listened to some songs and came up with a few ideas for worldbuilding and such,,,like that 100 days song,,,maybe two gods who were in love and one demanded that they wanted a hundred days to their name and the other god complied which in turn, causes months and season names in my world.,,,maybe a few gods wanted some days to their name

Feel a little dookie for not being able to pump out story ideas but it's just cus my schedule hasnt allowed me to rly sit down and have some hours to myself to properly think abt it,,,gotta focus on assignments

OOT, more related to art but I feel like I wanna get back into the fundamentals a little more again because I'm starting to grow lenient on myself. Tho,,I understand that I have other things to juggle so hopefully during my break soon, I can take the time to properly revise all the knowledge I've learnt so far

I was looking back at all my old rambles and thoughts abt art and I feel both bad and happy at how I used to think,,,I'm glad I was able to turn insecurity into passion and love

I want to be as passionate as I was before but I think I still am but I just don't notice it because I'm so surrounded by art that I don't realise that my life really is full of art,,,and my head is always thinking of art,,,,oh to be so consumed by something you love

Think nowadays I find myself thinking more of my OCs and story than my art itself, WHICH IS FINE, because thinking abt art constantly may burn me out

I still do draw for the sake of improvement,,,and it's always on my mind to try and improve one thing a day,,, it's just that, my OCs make it so much more fun and enjoyable and it makes the purpose feel so whimsical and light-hearted

I always look back and feel happy and grateful for the work I put in and I hope one day I can add proudness into that mix of adjectives

[emisirrelevant]

Farewell, Big Shot

Well, hello everyone- though this is mostly directed to other fans of this show. So, I recently found out that the show Big Shot on Disney Plus was cancelled. It took me a few days to digest the news.

To be honest, I'm still processing it. I just feel like- ugh, I don't know if I'll be able to explain it with words. I'm disappointed. I'm actually not super angry- only the tiniest bit, but more sad overall.

I'm sad because I'll never see more of this show again. I'm sad that it's yet another show that won't get to continue. I'm sad that I will never get to see this team of girls together anymore.

I may have to stop soon or I might actually get too depressed thinking about it.

This show was one of those shows I just gave a chance on, but it turned out to be one of my absolute comfort shows.

And it hurts when your comfort show has been taken away. I'm just really sad. I really am going to miss the show so so much.

As for reasons to why it was cancelled, I did try to look that up and most of what I could find is that it was just a mix of Disney stuff. Personally, I just don't get why they always have to drop the shows no one is watching. I mean, I guess for marketing purposes I can acknowledge it.

But WHY? Why does TV only have to care about ratings and how many views they get? Hopefully someday this kind of thing is able to end. Because I personally think it's wild that someone sacrifices continuing a show for the sake of views.

If the creators, directors, producers, WHATEVER, started to really LISTEN to their fans, and take into account that there ARE actually people saying "this show means so much to me" or "the message and story of this show has inspired me" then wouldn't that make a HUGE difference?

Sigh. Anyway, I know I'm only just one fandom nerd in the world and no one will read this, but I will use my voice here. Because THIS is what I believe in.

Alright, I kind of diverted from Big Shot, but I'll turn back to it now, sorry.

What I am going to miss the most is definitely the team. The Westbrook Sirens are going to be missed every damn day by me. Just seeing each character's dynamics with each other was one of the best parts of this show. All the girls had GREAT dynamics with each other.

And to the actresses, I really hope they have successful futures after this because they deserve it.

I'm just going to miss it all so much.

We'll get to never continue so many interesting storylines.

We'll never know if Olive would have ever come back to visit.

We'll never know more about Destiny's situation with her mother, aunt, or father. Or if she ends up with Trevor and that's eternally canon.

We'll never know if Louise comes back to visit the rest of the team. We don't know if she'll be with Nick- although I personally headcanon that as a NO (because Louise x Ava endgame)

We'll never get to see more of Mouse and Harper. This one hurts especially. DAMN YOU DISNEY!!! (In my headcanon, they're still dating after they graduate high school)

We'll never get to see what it's like for Ava being able to stay in California with the rest of the team. (Sara Echeagaray was ROBBED)

We won't get to see Samantha and Ava doing the peer support group together.

We won't ever see more Emma and Maryvn father-daughter moments.

And the most frustrating thing- WE'LL NEVER GET TO SEE MORE OF KATE!!!! KATE WAS ROBBED TOO. KATE NEVER GOT A LAST NAME. The only thing we got about her was that she moved from Australia.

We really could have had so much more.

Okay, I'm going to go now before I end up making this longer than necessary, or start getting super sad about this all.

Thank you, Big Shot. I'm glad I decided to give you a chance. This may be the end of the game for now, but I know I'm gonna see the Westbrook Siren girlies go on to do even better things. I'm really going to miss this show. Disney, you really had a hidden gem with this one. Goodbye, Big Shot.

[hiddenthoughts7]

Why does it hurts so much?..

Lately I can't help but cry at any time, even though I'm trying my best not to....

Time passes by so fast is scary, I feel so stuck, never advancing, always following the routine, wake up, eat, work, eat, work, eat, work and then a "little free time" at night, where I have to wait till my little sister sleeps so I can cry in peace without having to worry her, is at this time, where I am alone that I can have a little sense of freedom, and I hate it, all I do is feel anxious, worried and sad, then I go to sleep and the cycles starts again, is so tiring, it feels like I'm wasting my life making everyone happy or confortable, pleasing them with whatever they want because I can't say no.

This is consuming me, I really don't know what to do, this is tearing me apart, always having to have a stupid smile in my face so I don't ruin anyone's day, sometimes I don't know if I have any right to feel this way, am I complaining to much? am I exaggerating? why does it hurts if everyone seems to see it as normal, as if what I'm feeling is nothing?

What I am? What is my purpose in life? I seriously don't get why I'm even here...I want to stay, there's so many things I want to accomplish, but at this rate would I be able to do it? When could I scape this misery?...

My life is so busy doing anything people need, a people pleaser they call it..

But when is my turn? Is happiness really that hard to get? Do I really have to spend my whole life looking for a moment to feel happy?

I miss being a little girl, things were so simple back then, it definitely wasn't perfect either but I was a little bit happy....I guess, to be really honest I don't remember much from when I was young, most of my memories are full of sadness and disappointments…

The first thing I remember that broke my heart was seeing my parents fighting, getting divorced, i still have that flashback of my father having to leave our house...it breaks my heart every time i remember, i wanted to go with him, i still do...

A part of me is glad that my parents are not together anymore, i know how toxic they were in their relationship, and i didn't want any of them to get hurt, but other part of me also always hoped to see them together again...i always wished that every birthday, but it never came true so i stopped making wishes, i stopped believing in god that day... because what did i do to hurt me like that?

I always wanted to stay with my dad, i miss him, i love him, he is the best dad, i know he is not perfect, but he did his best to be by my side, he couldn't do much economically, but that didn't matter to me, he gave my love and support every time, so that meant much more for me, that's all i needed...

He still supports me, we really get along well even better which I'm glad, but i really miss him, now I'm even far away from than before..

It makes me feel anxious and worry to even thinking my parents can get sick, again, they are not perfect....but I love them.

There's so much i want to write in here...but I'm not sure if I can, my mind gets blurry trying to remember my life while listening to sad music, the only thing i know is that I'm an ocean of tears...my heart aches, it's an estrange feeling, i feel my heart getting twisted and punched.

Why can't i go back? i would love to spend more time with my family, my little dog..my house, everything i just want to go back and stop time so i can have them with me again...

I miss my friends...I feel so lonely, this world nowadays is just full of hatred and sadness, work life devours you, you have to put your wants and needs aside to continue with the same thing over and over again, things that doesn't do anything for you besides giving you money, and for what? everything goes to basic human necessities that we sadly have to pay for.

I rarely find the time to even listen to music, that's how sad and toxic my life is..at 1 am is when i can be myself...

I love my little sister, i want her to be the happiest human on earth, i want to protect her, I've been taking care of her since I'm 13, while my mom and her husband went to their disco business, or went to the casino while i had to take her, they didn't care at all, they always have used me, because it was spected for me to do those things, was it fair? My sister even called me mom at some points.

Always taking care of everyone, always making everyone happy, what have they done for me? Give me food and a roof? Education? Yes, thank you for that but those are my rights, that's your responsibility, to be honest i didn't asked to be born at all.

Is always complicated when i wanted something, is always a trouble when i need something, that's why i stopped asking for anything.

I never had the best relationship with my mom, now is better than before, but still..

Every time I'm trying to remember the past my mind blocks it and i started to cry...

I don't know what to do, i want to remember so i can do something about it, it wasn't only my family who has hurt me, my "friendships" back then also have betray me and leave me in pain.

I was always that replaceable friend in every group i was, always the extra person in the room, the one who didn't matter at all, then one who was being used for whatever reason, this is not me trying to be the victim in all this, no, this is me, recognizing my pain as valid, I'm tired of hiding my feelings, i;m tired of thinking my feelings are just an exaggeration.

The first time i ever felt loved, the first time I felt this feeling was truly mutual, why did it have to be with him? Why that had to happen?

I was so blinded by thinking what he did was normal, at 15 years old, i really thought that being forced to have sex was okay, i hated myself for allowing that to happen but what did i know? he was stronger than me, i really tried to stopped him from doing that, but maybe i didn't fight enough..i was so scared i have to faked an smile in front of him and act normal after that even though i was furious and shocked..i continued to be with him thinking that was the best thing to do, why? i don't know maybe i was scared of what could have happened after that, and i was actually right, everything was worst after that, i was so conflicted with myself, i loved him, but i also hated him, he was so manipulative, making me feel stupid, at the end i realize, none of that wasn't love, you don't hurt the person you love, i was just his entertainment, i always spected something romantic, spending time together talking, looking at the stars, laughing, watching movies, doing simple things, and all i got was someone who always came to me to pretend to be the person i always wanted, always coming to me just so i can satisfy his needs for hours, forcing myself to do those things, just so i could see him happy...what an idiot i was.

That was our relationship, just based in physical affection, just so he can leave my place with an smile in his face, while i was destroyed...at some point he didn't even have a proper conversation whit me, he waited for us to be alone so he can do those things, and all i wished was for him to get away...every time, Thankfully I realized that i deserved better, not a person who even recorded me without my consent and show it to others, not a person, who used me.

I also stopped trusting anyone the moment my supposed male best friend tried to r**e me as well, my female best friend at that time set me up and betray me, i went to her house to spend time with her, playing video games or something, what she did? She invited him and faked being sick so she could get out with her mom to the pharmacy and she leaved me alone with him, i was so stupid so innocent, it didn't crossed my mind that he could do that, i really though we were going to watch a movie while we wait for her, he got on top of me, trying to forced me, 2 times, i didn't know what to do, i was scared to death, luckily i have my phone in the pocket and i hit him with that in the head, and then i went to the kitchen to look for a knife, what else was i supposed to do? he calmed down and went to the bathroom to finish with his desires by his own, how disgusting.

I didn't know where i was, i came with my fake friend there, and i didn't know how to leave, my only option was to ask him to accompany me in a taxi, the least he could do.

The next day? i saw my 2 "friends" in the school stairs, looking at me, laughing at me....I've never felt that disappointed.

All my classmates knew me as the shy one, or the crazy one, or the weird one...there's always a reason for that, if nobody was going to protect me, then i have to do it myself.

Nobody really cared.

I want to be happy, but i also don't want to exist anymore, i want to succeed but I'm also tired of keep trying, i want to be alive but i also want to die, honestly.

There's more sad memories to tell, but that's all my mind could remember today. Now is time to continue crying while listening to sad music.

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ivy Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

That week after returning from Macau. The day finally came.

The manager called me and told me that the contract would be terminated at the end of this week.

(I'm running out of time ... I have to hold another presentation soon.)

--flashback--

Ivy: … Thank you. I may not be the most reliable leader, but I’ll try my best.

Finn: Yeah. Of course!

Xeno: I’ve been saying that from the beginning. … Absolutely.

Hugh: Yeah. Good …!

Jace: We are no good without Ivy.

Ivy: Haha, I’ll be there for you. I’ll support you guys.

--flashback end--

The members of exe, who communicated with each other in Macau. That scene gave me the idea for the re-presentation.

(If the presentation is successful, I'm sure I won't have to leave Aegis ...!)

As I pondered this, Yamauchi-san approached me.

Yamauchi Kota: Cheer up. I'm sure there are plenty of other jobs out there.

Rina: Yamauchi-san ...

(It's been a long time since I've been spoken to. You've been avoiding me lately ...)

Yamauchi Kota: Hey, why don't you come to dinner with me today? Let's have a drink and blow all that shit out of the water.

Rina: ... No, thank you.

Yamauchi Kota: ... If you're refusing my advances, is it because you have a boyfriend?

Rina: ? What do you ...

(Why are you asking me that?)

Rina: I'm not in the mood for that right now. I'm sorry.

Although I was concerned abou Yamauchi-san's subtle expression, my mind was occupied with the impending termination of the contract.

And that night.

Ivy: Rina-chan, I'm home. What's wrong? You look so serious. Did something happen?

Rina: Welcome back, Ivy-san. In fact, I have a favor to ask you.

I waited for Ivy-san when he came home from work, and I began to talk to him.

Rina: Would you be willing to present the Essence perfume project again?

Ivy: ... Well, you finally got your plan together.

Rina: Yes. I'm sure I can make a presentation now that you will be satisfied with.

The recent unification of exe inspired me to make a re-presentation.

(If we put this idea together, I am sure we can come up with something good.)

(Now if I can just get a chance to present again ...!)

Rina: Please. I will never disappoint you!

Ivy: I was thinking about how you were thinking while helping me with my work. You're really good at what you do.

Ivy: I'm glad you asked me to help you with your re-presentation. I'll talk to the others right away

Rina: Thank you very much!

Ivy: I'll adjust my schedule. Can you let me know when would work best for you?

Rina: I'll check back soon.

The moment I opened my phone ... a message arrived on the messenger app.

Rina: !

Startled, I refexively open it.

(Who in the world sent me a ... eh, Yamauchi-san!?)

(I didn't give him my contact information. How?)

Ivy: ... What's wrong?

Ivy-san asked but ...

Rina: Oh, umm, I got a call about that job.

I lied to him. I promised not to hide anything, so I felt guilty, but ...

(I don't want to be misunderstood in a wrong way ...)

Rina: It's nothing, so don't worry about it.

Ivy: ... Really? Then it's all right.

Rina: Yes. I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of something. Here's the schedule for the re-presentation ...

I told him a few convenient days.

Ivy: I'll tell everyone. Just leave it to me.

I was delighted to see Ivy-san smiling at me.

Rina: Thank you very much! I'll make sure I give a presentation that will convince everyone!

(I'm glad I consulted Ivy-san! I'll finish the documents today.)

I clenched my hands together in a surge of enthusiasm.

Ivy: ... By the way, Rina-chan. Changing the subject, I actually have a present for you.

Rina: Eh?

Ivy: This ...

He presented me with a leather notebook. It had a classy design, and the quality of the notebook was obvious.

Rina: ! Oh no, I can't take it.

Ivy: Don't say that. Take it. I really appreciate everything you did for me the other day.

Ivy: Without you, I'd still be struggling with the feeling of inferiority to my fellow team members.

Rina: Of course I'll take action. Because if it's a concern for you, it's important for me too.

Ivy: Rina-chan ...

Ivy: Thank you. I'm very happy to hear you say that.

Rina: But ... I really feel bad about that. I always get things from you, Ivy-san.

Ivy: No, don't. You've given me so much.

Ivy: In fact, this present isn't even worth what you gave me.

Ivy: I can't let my feelings get the better of me if I don't do something. So I thought you'd help me out ... right?

Rina: Ivy-san ...

(I can't believe you think so much of me ...)

Rina: ... I will take good care of it. Thank you very much.

Ivy: Yeah, do that.

Then I received the notebook, he smiled happily.

Ivy: I'm glad. I wanted to thank you somehow.

Ivy: I was very happy that you solved my problems, but I was also very happy that you promised not to hide things from me.

His words made my heart ache.

(I promised you, but I hid Yamauchi-san from you earlier ...)

I wondered if I should still tell you about it ...

Ivy: I don't want you to be shy with me. If you have any problems in the future, please let me know.

Rina: ... Yes.

(I can't be bothered with this little thing any more when I'm relying on you for the re-presentation.)

(And ... I don't want to be misunderstood too much.)

... I felt guilty, but in the end, I couldn't talk about it.

exe gets into their car after recording a music program.

Sakura Eito: Next we're shooting at a studio in Minato.

Jace: I'm tired. But didn't it feel great?

Xeno: Yes. We performed as planned, if not better.

Hugh: Yeah ... was fun ... and the talk too ...

Ivy: Hugh was more active in the conversation today than usual. He usually looks like he's sleepy.

Jace: Xeno was quite involved in the conversation, if you ask me.

Jace: Usually, it's just me and Ivy, and sometimes Finn, too.

Finn: Yeah. I think it was the first time we've had that much fun during a talk corner.

Xeno: ... Maybe so.

Sakura Eito: The program director was also happy, He said that he was able to capture exe in a more harmonious and friendly atmosphere than usual.

Sakura Eito: It was a good vibe from my point of view, and it still is.

Ivy: Even now?

Sakura Eito: Because in the past, these travel times were spent either in silence or doing whatever you wanted to do.

Ivy: I guess it's true what you say.

Sakura Eito: Hm? I haven't seen you guys talk to each other in such a soft atmosphere since you were formed.

Sakura Eito: Exspecially Ivy has changed. I feel that you lost your self-consciousness.

Ivy: ... Hm. I feel much better than before.

Finn: I guess that whole Macau thing must have worked, huh?

Jace: I think it's thanks to Aegis-chan that we were able to do this. If we had been on our own, we wouldn't have even noticed Ivy's problems.

Xeno: Without her work, we certainly wouldn't be where we are today.

Hugh: Housekeeper-san ... awasome ...

Ivy: Yes. I can't thank her enough.

Sakura Eito: I was very impressed by what she said. It was a good decision to invite her to the aprtment.

Sakura Eito: The members are getting to know each better, and Kawanaga-chan is doing an excellent job. I can't say enough good things about her.

Sakura Eito: Even before the presentation, I knew she was different from the others.

Finn: I'm thinking it's about time we heard a re-presentation of the situation.

Ivy: !

The members, oblivious to the wide-eyed Ivy, are all in favor of the idea.

Jace: That's good, isn't it? I'm sure Aegis-chan will come up with a better idea than the last one.

Hugh: Yes. Housekeeper-san knows us very well ..

Xeno: I'm sure she'll do a great job. I'm interested to see what she'll do with the re-presentation.

Finn: I know. Don't you think so too, Ivy?

Ivy: Yeah ... I guess so.

Ivy: ... I was so impressed with the way she was able to change the atmosphere of the room. Is this her power, too ...?

Finn: Ivy? What's wrong?

Ivy: ... I've been just asked by Rina-chan to help her with the re-presentation.

... And so.

All members were in agreement, and a date was set for the re-presentation.

... A few days later.

With all the members gathered, it was time for my re-presentation.

(Ivy-san made this chance for me. I will do my best and grab it!)

Rina: Well then, everyone, please take a look at this document first ...

... I put everything I had into the presentation.

For the new project, I further expanded on the idea of personifying jewels.

exe, who has become more human through the perfume, clash and struggle with each other.

Through this process, trust is born in them ... and they change.

The members listened intently, sometimes interrupting with pointed questions. And then ...

Xeno: ... It's a novel idea. I think exe deserves to take it on.

Finn: Yeah, I'm in.

Jace: Sounds like fun!

Hugh: I agree ... I'd like to try it ...

Ivy: ... I'm with you. I thought your idea was great.

They all accepted my presentation and gave me a pass.

Rina: Thank you very much ...!

The joy welled up in my heart, and I couldn't help but burst into tears.

(You all recognized me, we can make the CM. I'm so happy ...!)

(I'm sure I won't have to quit my job now ...)

Rina: Really ... thank you so much ...

Finn: What are you crying about, you idiot? That's the part where you laugh.

Rina: Huh!?

Finn-san starts to stir my head, and then everyone joins in ...

Jace: I'm happy for you, Aegis-chan. You did a great job preparing for the presentation.

Xeno: It was a good presentation, but don't get carried away. The hard part is just beginning.

Rina: Of course!

Hugh: Yeah, good luck ...

With a warm smile or a soft look in their eyes, the members encouraged me.

(Oh, I have to thank Ivy-san as well.)

(I'm grateful to Ivy-san, who has supported me throughout the entire process, for helping me achieve this result.)

... I turned my head and saw a scene I had never imagined.

Ivy: ...

(Huh ...?)

There was Ivy-san, who looked at me with the coldest eyes I've ever seen ...

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