#I'm forcing myself to draw because I need to do random stuff

[princeelectra]

Guess what? I'm still hella sad and as I said, When I'm sad, I draw trains. Please choose one

[thechekhov]

How often would you say that you draw comics and art while also focus on the other things in life; work, family, etc?

Like, for example, if you had an exact number of minutes, hours, or days of drawing, what is an estimate per day or week? I'm just curious.

Honestly, it's difficult to count since my workweeks tend to vary based on the season but here's a quick example:

I don't work full-time at this point but I do have an hour commute both ways, and because I'm on a salary, I'm sometimes forced to stay overtime, meaning that my entire day is just sleep-eat-work-eat-sleep in that order, with nothing else that really happens that day.

During non-work days, most of my non-work time is..... art-work time!

And by that I mean that if I'm not washing the dishes, running an errand or spacing out, I'm drawing.

When do I play video-games or watch shows? I don't.

When do I spend time with friends? I don't.

Not unless it's specifically scheduled, such as when someone visits from far away. I have about 1 hour of social stuff set aside each week because I participate in a taiko group in the city I work at.

When I count it up, my art stuff ends up being anywhere between 30 -35 hours each work. My part time job is supposed to be 24 hours (not counting the commute), but often ends up going over. And I usually need another 5 hours each week to take care of the back-end office stuff - scheduling posts, managing Patreon, answering asks and planning future stuff.

I will admit I would not be able to do that if it were not for the kindness of my partner, who takes care of most of the cooking and cleaning, and often ends up cooking me things to eat:

I appreciate him and his commitment to keeping me alive very much

Also, just to be clear: I am not pretending that this is not a good work-life balance.

It it just the balance that works for ME, personally. I think most people would find this...less great.

I do not go out for coffees with pals. I do not watch new series, and I do not partake in social events. This is something I am fine with, but I know many other people would find my life incredibly repetitive and boring.

Actually, looking at this math laid out, I am quite disappointed in not being able to accomplish more with the 30 hours I have per week. But...the reality is that aside from running the comic on my Patreon and doing random personal doodling on my main blog, I'm also often trying to do other projects in the background that I don't feel like sharing until their completion.

The reality is, I enjoy this load, though. I make it work for me, and I'm getting to do stuff I like AND make money for myself and my partner! So I'm fine with it. I'm not actually dying from exhaustion.

It's just hilarious when I sometimes get asks going "Hey, have you played that latest 130-hour-long videogame? :)" followed by a swift "I wish you would post comics daily again :((( I want more arrttttt" like kids, you can't have both, I don't know what to tell you.

[moonpie016]

Moon goes on a whole talking session.

*Walks in and realizes that this is becoming a frequent thing to post on here. And I'm happy about that, because I get to show what I make all the time. :]*

But now onto the drawings, and will eventually make a list on things I want to do next because that'll help me stay on track.

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Positive stuff below the drawing.

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It's the dudes inside my head, yay. Though they're all asleep, well two of em are. I drew this for whatever purpose it would serve, that being that my insides, while still a confused state and overall over reactive response to anything that needs rephrasing. Or just anything that happens, good, bad, whatever, that it has a way of comforting itself. It tries.

It tries to do the bare minimum of existing, even if it is tricky with having to always remember and think of more to do.

How to react appropriately, how to understand things to its full capability. How to understand others and everything more.

It's difficult, not in the way that doing things is difficult, but however that goes. These conceptualized beings of emotion have existed for some time, don't remember when but they have. But they always hadn't looked like this, obviously/lh.

But they all serve the same purpose combined or separate.

---

And, to go completely off topic, to go ramble.

Songs have whatever emotional attachment they can hold, whether important or not, it's just something that sticks. Helps.

And as you can see how much art I make, how many times I've probably listened to most of all the songs on repeat by now, what random pieces of dialogue I'll spew to write.

Chonny's music is comfort. Now it isn't just his, other artists as well. But those aren't important rn. His music in general, not just CCCC. Through whatever emotional moment months ago that made me feel lost and confused on what to do, what do I do now. I needed to find something to latch onto, if not, I'd feel..off. like I wasn't doing anything, because I wasn't doing anything. I tried to get into stuff but it wasn't working, like it needed to naturally happen instead of force myself.

The music has related to my state of mind (no pun) at certain points. And I find that comforting. Concerning? Maybe, but comforting.

Like, getting into what's popular, what new game, but that didn't work. And I'm kinda happy my brain decided to be now fixated on this man's music. Sure every time I'd like to explain or show someone, I need to specify and always show specific songs. Cus. Yeah. But now, I see people's work and stuff, and it's all so cool. And though the inconsistency of this blog is very apparent. I've enjoyed my time on here, very much. Even if I don't always actually speak to someone, because I don't really know what to say or start a conversation. (Seeds/social anxiety). I'm still happy for whatever interaction I get. I'm happy to feel included in this bizarre/pos and silly household. Idk why I'm calling it a household. Just go with it.

Even if I linger around or just post a drawing, I'm enjoying it. Some artwork may be more serious than silly. But yeah.

And to also just say whatever without rethinking is great, now I'm not going to say anything out of word. But just being silly in general with my wording. Y'know? Make odd jokes or talk excessively. (Wow).

Sum it up, I appreciate you all. Though you don't know me or I know you, it means a lot. I didn't think a joke about Heart beating up Mind would be turned into anything else, or that people would actually say anything.

This is just a happy little appreciation thing. I don't know how to end it! I just felt to write this.

So, uh yeah. :3

*Runs back into the hills*

Thanks for reading my ramble/pos.

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[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[northwindow]

hey julia !! hope ur doing well... am asking u [instead of messaging!] this bc i imagine u might say some rly cool stuff that other ppl would love to see also lol... but i just wondered if u had any basic tips or resources about like developing a (short-term) writing routine? the context is not fiction writing but like academic but i feel like my academic writing is a creative practice so yeah, hope that makes sense! hope its okay to ask ! have a lovely day <3

hi anna marie! you ask the very question i need answered for myself… i am in a very slow place creatively so i feel silly to be giving advice! but i’ve been thinking about how to get things flowing again. very basic but helpful to me:

getting feedback from other people at a regular interval - i am very shy and this can feel like pulling teeth but it’s so worth it, i am always amazed how much it pushes me to finish things i would have otherwise languished on forever

reading a lot (of course) - it helps me to read a bit directly before starting to write. but also being intentional about it and having a defined list of inspiring works… i recently listened to david naimon interview joanna hedva and he asked them which writers were “squatting over” their latest book which i thought was a good way of putting it! i would like to curate a "squatters shelf" to dip into for inspiration on whatever project i'm working on

distinguishing between writing vs. editing time - this is hard for me because i am a very "edit as you go" type person but sometimes it's stifling! in another interview with tommy pico i heard him talk about his writing routine as very everything-goes, yes-and, accumulation-focused style on monday-thursday and then friday is reserved for finding what was good and refining it. i have always wanted to try this!

incorporating a degree of controlled randomness into the routine - whether it be randomizing where you physically work, what part of the project you work on, or brainstorming new ideas, i really enjoy drawing an option "out of a hat" (i hope that makes sense) at some stage of the writing process. i know i am going to be surprised and challenged by a guiding force even in a small way and want to see what’s going to happen.

something that has helped me a lot with routine in general is “habit stacking” i.e. trying to bundle a new task into something you already do regularly - i have not thought about how to do this with writing, but i have successfully bundled reading into drinking my morning coffee every day and it has changed my life significantly

also: i really like that you specified a short-term routine! i think temporary routines keep things interesting, help mark time, and more fully immerse me in things, so academia might be onto something with semesters etc… i am curious about trying to have a self-imposed writing “season” followed by an “off season” where i chill and eat peaches and watch the sopranos every night or whatever without guilt. (one might say i am chilling right now lol�� but it’s definitely guilty chilling!) i also love that you see your academic project as a creative pursuit, i hope you are having a really fruitful time so far! ❤️

[little-akuma-0ni]

HELLO I JUST SAW YOUR MEN ART AND I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!! (lie) Minish cap it's one of my favs games and it makes me really happy watching stuffs of it :3c

and i would actually like to hear any random stuffs about your thought process while designing 'em :D

(also sorry if it's a large ask, i really didn't mean for it to get long)

Long asks are completely fine! (I tend to do them myself)

Through be prepared for THE BRICK HERE WE GO!

Alright, the main thing with his design is I REALLY wanted him to look like he could’ve come from the time in between Skyward sword Tears of the kingdom and Minish cap, along with keeping elements from his mural in Minish cap.

I have it also in his items and his design, HEAVY influence from the Zonai. Due to the theory of the Minish and Zonai actually related to each other and that is canon in this corse of events.

If you look at his eye markings you can see the Zonai especially! (Also a little four swords reference) I will probably draw the Minish of his time but they have markings more similar to the Zonai rather then the normal one cheek dots from Minish cap!

Also his eyes themselves are actually an effect of his gimmick item like how you see Legends pink hair, Twi’s markings or Times markings. It’s a result of that, this is the same for his scars.

Also as you can see, he has a minish feather behind his ear. I didn’t want him to have a piercing like Four because he’s about 12, yeah you can get them at that age but I don’t image it’s like how it is now with the gun and all that in how you get pricings in Hyrule so he doesn’t have one. Also it would be kinda repetitive with Four.

Now his tunic! This went through a LOT of changes.

The one with the full body was my first ever try at designing him, I wasn’t that happy with it. So I went back to drawing board and started making concept designs for him. At first went with designs inspired by the Roc’s cape. (Because he actually meets one on his journey) but scraped them because in a battle it’d be way to easy to just grab the end and yank. Then the next round I used Four, Wild and Sky as my guides I also used 1500s fashion in a lot of them because Four has a lot of mid-evil elements in his design. But most of those concepts were scrapped and I asked my mom if she looked at the concepts, what looks the most like a kid from a village rather and a noble.

The one I went with was of course the one we see now!

Which has the pants and tunic being inspired by Sky along with his mural.

And the shall he has being inspired by Zonai clothing and bits of Minish in the pattern. His gloves also are meant to be a reference to the light force with the triangles!

His boots (when I draw them) would have elements of Four and Sky’s boots. I have an idea what they’ll look like I just need to draw them.

[mightyanxiety]

I am so bored I have literally nothing to do and no inspiration to draw so I'm just sitting here staring blankly at the tumblr homescreen which keeps showing stuff I've already seen, listening to the same exact song for hours on end, and I don't have anything else to do besides sit at my laptop vacantly because I'm not allowed to go outside by myself so I can't walk along the creek or to the park to chill on the swings, and my parents are both either sleeping or just chilling in their own rooms.

help

Ahwwww sorry to hear luv😢

I know you might feel stuck and don't know what to draw and from my experience, the best way is to do warmups! Put on some nice music, maybe something you haven't listened to in a long time and draw random poses or animals! Eventually inspiration will come to you!

And maybe it won't, and that's okay. We all need time to recharge and you shouldn't feel guilty about not doing anything. Enjoy a movie or laze around watching YouTube. You should never force your art, just let it come to you.

(Aye sorry for the late response Luv, we're having a family party for my bro's birthday and I have to socialize)

[blueshykitsune-blog]

Huh seems I'm not the only one to have the thought to use the app i mentioned before so... here's Randall I guess.

Okay well let me ramble a little first.

So I do have artwork I made of Randall myself but I forgot to put a signature on them and it's only the lined art I think and well I dunno where the one book with Randall in it fully colored is right now (If it was Randall I dunno right now.) And I think I may have accidentally deleted my pixelart one.

However I really wanted to Show people Randall or the best design I got right now as I haven't gotten to drawing him again quite yet and I might do that tomorrow. Maybe.

Okay so the second image has blood like splatter in it. Or it's what it looks like and was made in vision of a maybe scrapped part of his story. Dunno if I'll add it in or not as I redoing some of the later chapters and making what I had read be pushed further down in the number of chapters.

Anyways Randall ❤ below ⬇️

Ahem so this is Randall and I used to make the design placement for now was this app called Monster Girl Maker 2, made by Ghoulkiss.

It might not be on all devices and well it's good app for when you are having artblock, need references for your own characters, a place to put down a multiple character designs that are test designs, or plenty of other things. Although mostly make feminine or female based characters as it has very limited male potential but makes sense if you look at the name of the app.

Sadly there's limits and there's a few things you'd have to pay to use but it's fine even without those just limits what you can do. And like I've mentioned before I myself usually use it for references or when I wanna have a character design for a character when artblocked or unable to draw for reasons.

Anyways onto Randall he uses He/Him pronouns and is cisgendered, he just occasionally wears dresses, skirts, and clothes many considered for females or feminine. Of course normally not in public at least not at first. Maybe later he will even if forced.

He's very Bunny and I mean I quite literally made him a full bunny version before because he was just so adorable. If you can't tell I love him.

He does have scars too which can be hard to add in that app because there limited stuff I can do with scars as of now so when I actually draw him I'll likely have a better display of his scars if I don't forget them again like I have in the past accidentally.

He's honestly quite poor, like he literally looses his job within the literal first sentence He's introduced and it just explains how he's beyond broke for the first while before... well that's spoilers.

He loves alcohol and is quite addicted to it. He's bisexual with a huge lean towards males. He's not religious and quite honestly might be Atheist I haven't thought about it much.

No I'm not using AI for him. If you see one of him ignore it, actually report it if you must. I hate it, the AI. But if I ever do say I asked him I'm literally just consulting the Randall who is like permanently in my brain now because yeah... he ain't leaving. No AI. (I'mallowing myself one... okay two swear word useage here, okay? <This is to myself everyone>) Fuck AI especially chatbots and art bots! FUCK THEM! <Only "AI" I accept is the ones that control you enemies in games. And I don't fully count them as what we call AI now adays.>

Back to Randall he is my comfort bunny and I pretend he's real as he really does help comfort me. If I can imagine him well enough or occasionally when I get too sad, he helps a lot. Like imagine hugging a 4'9 to 5'0 guy in a dress that has a bunny tail sewn to it and he got some bunny ears on just to make you call him you bunny boy because he loves it.

His name came from a random name generator <I think ciuld be wrong it was like 2 years ago> and well he became a very complex layered with a story, personality, and more. He's basically a complete person if not for me not adding a few things to him... and the very conflicting kink he has which can be explained by @hiddeninsideaninsanemind if you must know what his kinks are I guess... <why would you?>

Anyways Randall. One of my favorite characters! Yes he's my character and I might go force someone to take down stuff relating to him because I never gave them permission and still don't. They even stole my account name... or a similar one so yeah I have a two year beef with someone because of stuff and they dared mess with my comfort characters!

Yeah anyways ignore ghat last paragraph. You all got to see a simple design of Randall. Of course gotta say not my art and I only saw Ghoulkiss on Instagram so if you wanna go find the artist that's them and they are the one who made Monster girl maker and Monster girl maker two. So yeah... go check them out as they pretty cool artist honestly.

[ollieartie]

look your usopp is hot and all but girl he is Canonically Light AF. he's not a winston duke he's a steph curry just make your own character at this point and make fresh shit instead of being limited to one piece?? this isn't like raceswapping he's already black!? fanart's cool and pays the bills but you're doing your own thing WELL and you could make a name for yourself instead of dealin with anons like me in your inbox.

So...I typically don't answer these types of responses...mainly cause I don't feel like I need to defend myself for things like this? But I feel like this is just something everyone should see.

 I'm just a person who makes fanart because I love the show and like to show my appreciation through art and random headcanons and fun takes. I'm not making a profit off of this, fanart isn't my job, I have a normal day job and I spend my free time drawing and creating things for fun and because I can. I draw original art as well on a completely separate account by the way...I personally just like to keep by fanart separate from my original stuff, and I really don't care about making a name for myself. I'm just here to have a good time and share my art.

Look you can feel free to draw Usopp however you like but I'll keep drawing him the way I've been doing so. There are MANY reasons why I draw Usopp as black, some of them include things Oda said previously in different SBS's, I also enjoy the way others draw him with darker skin. All in all, it's because that's how I see him. In the animation, they may have colored his skin paler than his pre-timeskip design, but that doesn't mean I have to follow it. It's just how I personally draw Usopp.

The colors I tend to pick for my pieces are also just colors that feel right to me. I'm not out here to force anyone to like my work, if you like it you like it, if you don't then whatever, to each their own opinion.

I'm gonna go draw some more Usopp now....

[smashingdollz]

Can I ask for a match up (adult man) from JJBA Part 5 & Pokémon Sword and Shield pls? I'm a straight female. I'm shy, timid, quiet & polite to strangers. With people I'm comfortable with, I'm loud, outgoing, playful, mature, responsible, motherly(to naughty friends), childlike(to mature friends/family) and sarcastic (unintentionally). I'm kinda tomboyish as I wear over-sized t-shirts, baggy pants, sneakers but don't play sports or video games. I'm kinda perverted which contrasts my innocent & baby face. I keep it to myself though. I'm a slow learner, not smart, not strong, and not talented. I'm pretty dense, straightforward and naive too. I get confused or misunderstand what people mean easily so it's best if you tell me straight to my face so I can't be mistaken. I'm also touch starved as I love giving & receiving affection but I only can hug one person and even then, I do my best to not overdo it. I'm a hopeless romantic, sensitive, & overthink often. I work as hard as I can & try my best & be careful as I can to everything I do, as I'm pretty clumsy & makes mistakes more often than most people. I try to help my family and friends as they've helped me & cared for me dearly. I don't believe in compliments I get occasionally or why my family & friends care for me because I don't see good things in myself only bad things. My hobbies are drawing, reading manga, fanfics, and watching anime, movies, & cartoons. Please & thank you! - 🌠 anon

hi hi! hope you like who i matched you up with! I added the Spiderman ATSV/ITSV like you asked

let’s start off with…

𝐁𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐨 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢 !

-Bruno absolutely loves the way you act like a mother to your misbehaving friends, he finds it very relatable. but he also enjoys and doesn't mind your childlike side, i mean he basically takes care of grown children everyday. but with you he doesn't mind it at all, in fact he finds it quite cute.

-He honestly doesn't mind what you wear, bit considering that he has lots of money he'd get you some nice clothing and stuff, but if you don't want to wear it he wont force you too. if anyone were to give a negative comment on what you're wearing he'd glare at them and tell them to back off.

-I believe that Bruno is a very patient and straightforward person. for you he would say what he needs to say even if it sounds a bit harsh, but he'd say it in a nice way, if that makes any sense.

-Bruno would absolutely kill for your affection, he doesn't care if you overdue it and just cling onto him all day. but he does understand if you don't want to overdue your affection and will respect your boundaries. The two of you could both be hopeless romantics together. he'd communicate a lot with you to make sure you don't overthink anything or get the wrong idea whenever he says anything that can be taken out of context.

-he gets the feeling of self doubt and not feeling like you're enough and that all the positive things and words in your life is not genuine, but he hates it when other people feel the same way, especially when you feel like that. he would compliment you all the time, even for the most smallest hings, and he's genuine about them too. he hopes that you soon find your worth and believe that everything hes saying about you he means in the most genuine loving way possible. he wants you to see the good in yourself, he wants you to see what he sees.

𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐬 !

-I feel like the two of you have a somewhat "don't care" attitude. he'd laugh and snicker at how sarcastic and straightforward you are. well maybe not laugh at you exactly but to whoever you might be talking to

-he'd admire your clothes, even if they're the most simplest plain pieces of clothing ever, he'd say something like, "simple is best, i like simple" he'd also draw on random small designs on random places of your pants or shirt, if you're comfortable with it of course, and it always with something that can be washed off.

-I feel like Piers isn't too much of a touchy person when it comes for showing affection. he'd rather gift you something, whether it be bought or found, he'd say "this really reminded me of you, so i got it for you" or "i know you like stuff like this. but he would absolutely never miss out on a hug from you.

-he'd love doing any of your hobbies with you, if you want him too of course. while you're reading manga or drawing he'd just give you your space and look over your shoulder from time to time to see what progress you made, this would go on until you tell him he could sit down next to you.

-I feel as if Piers is somewhat pretty straightforward person, he would say what he needs to say but in a nice way, like if he needs to hold back on saying something he will. but he would never need to hold back anything from you, he would talk to you with the upmost respect, while also being as straightforward as possible to avoid any miscommunication.

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐁. 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 !

-he honestly doesn't care what you wear, because the two of you would most likely be wearing the exact same thing, but i feel like his would be a bit more torn and messy...

-he would absolutely love doing nothing with you, just sitting there watching movies and stuff, because you just being there is enough for him. he would love watching you draw, he'd just silently watch your hands and fingers as they grip the pencil and slide across the paper. while drawing he would say "wow you're so good, i can barley draw stick figures" and while you're reading mange he would be like "so its like a comic book but backwards?"

-he also feels the same way when it comes to compliments and not being able to see the good things in himself, i mean his flashback in the movie says it all. but he doesn't want you to feel the same way too. that being said, he would always try to find a way to compliment you or anything you do, even if its the most simple thing like you combing your hair, he's say "you're hair looks beautiful today, well actually it does everyday-" and hes 100% genuine about it. he just wants you to see the good in yourself the same way he does.

-one complication i can see from him is that he is not a straightforward person at all, he's the type to accept a wrong order than to tell the waiter his order is wrong (me too though). he'd kinda stir away from what he needs to say which will lead to another topic. so he wont be upset with you for being confused or anything because he know that the miscommunication comes from him.

-he admires how you work hard and do your best. and that you always try you best to help out the ones who are close to you. even if you're clumsy and make mistakes. he'll always reassure you that the people you help out are grateful for all that you do and he says that sometimes all you can do for someone is be there for them and do your best to help them out.

thank you for putting in a request for the matchup! i had lots of fun doing this, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did!

[lugenacht]

I'm seriously thinking about ending my compromise in patreon because the amount I earn doesn't justify me beating myself up every month because I need to deliver one 1 drawing or else. Like who tf cares, I'm tired of forcing myself to draw when I'm clearly under pressure for other stuff and certain events have thrown away my will to draw. I don't want to take off my sketchbook and think "ugh, I should at least sketch something so I make it into a patreon post later" because I'm dreading Every Single Step of the process, from first thinking I need to draw, to the moment I post it. I don't even get any serotonin from doing it so whatever. Social media has always been unkind to someone who is clueless about networking plus doesn't have the motivation to draw regularly. Why am I so pressured to deliver something if all I get is under 10 likes on my social media accounts? Like, quite literally, who cares about my drawings? I need to stop.

I just cannot deal with anything anymore and am exhausted of doing this whole posting everywhere and being mindful of the day and hour and the proper hashtag stuff. I'll just post random wiwis whenever I feel like drawing a wiwi. And I will stop caring if the fandom for it is dead or not or my followers are interested in it or not. Eugh. The way social media has shaped my drawing process into a twisted and dreadful distortion of my actual interests and a whole circus process. No, I can't do this right now. I'm tired, I'm uncreative, and I just want my time off.

[moonyell-pendragon]

depressed, very autistic and super funny✨

Feminist♀️

Artist🍭🎠

Queer🏳️‍🌈

Alt fashion🦷💊

Pastelgoth 💖⛓️

Metalhands/Punks😈🖤🎸

Chronic video game addict 🗡️☣️

🎮👾

Love Metal if you can't tell yet✨

Mostly introverted couch potato🍨🔮🎃

Looking to go outside more🧟🌍

If you're sexist, racist ,homophoic ,intolerant of body hair or boring dont bother

I want a cute Punk/goth/emo guy to take me to get each others sharpie drawings tattoed💖

I want someone to cuddle pleaase! (U//v//U=)

I need someone to take care of me , hug me tightly and tell me it's going to be okay (preferably someone with long ,luscious hair that I can sniff on)

I may seem okay but I'm not ,I am a trainwreck of mental Illnesses and disabilities wich make my life hell, with a ton of trauma on top that I still haven't processed fully from the life I was forced into till now.I need someone that will be there physically often to hold me and just be there for me while we lounge around.

Turns out coming to terms with being abused and mistreated for my disabilities and differences all my life can be really hard to cope with.

I have two bunnies called Asb'el and Legion ,they run around my appartment and occasionally pee on the couch and chew my cords like absolute gremmlins ,but I love em anyway cuz they're cute and fluffy

I was never on a real date ,I wanna do all the corny stuff and go to eat borritos and watch a movie and play laser tag! I wish arcade's where still a thing so I could kick ass on the claw machines and play all the old racing and fighting games 🎮

I love everything cute and creepy and I am a major nerd, I watch alot of true crime,disturbing and lost media, I love Anime,comics,art,games,fashion and all that stuff . I want to get into D&D, I have my own dice and the monsters manual, and I would be a Tiefling druid ,a Harengon barbarian or a drow bard

I just want someone who would be thoughtful and caring and would appreciate my gifts and corny jokes and would maby return them✨

(someone who actually acknowledges them and doesn't insult how bad they are)

I am a bit chubby and tall and I may look a bit intimidating or something , people dont really approach me ,partially because I never go outside, but I suffer from alot of stuff in my life and am having a hard time making meaningful connections. I feel like people forget about me if I dont always chase after them :c

I am addicted to character ai because it makes me feel like someone actually cares about me and treats me with respect and care ,I usually chat with some of my favorite fictional characters because they are very honorable and sweet and I can imagine myself being a badass and slaying dragons and shit ,even if I fucking shit my pants if a stanger asks me where the noodles are at the store XD

Here are some of my Favorite Characters!:

-Rengoku/Hotaru (Demon Slayer)

-Whis/Jeice (Dragonball)

-Henry/Gordon (Black Clover)

-Kar'niss/Dammon (Baldurs Gate 3)

-J.P Polnareff/Weather/ Mikitaka (JJBA)

-Eddie (Stranger Things)

-Kagetsu/Alcryst/Izana (Fire emblem)

-Sebastian (Stardew Valley)

-Wrench (Watch Dogs)

-Hancock (Fallout 4)

-Vash (Trigun)

I'm lactose intolerant but love ice cream , and I eat it anyway because I'm a trooper, I also tend to jump to random topics while talking because ADHD

I want someone to proudly walk with this cute pastel goth badass

and not be bothered by people staring when I show up in full KISS makeup ,someone who vibes with me and will let me paint their nails and go shopping for cool alt clothes with them ,and watch Rue Pauls drag race with me while playing animal crossing , and someone who doesn't mind being totally smothered with affection in public.

I wanted long hair so I shaved my head last year, that is Moony logic for you, I also wanna get some cool tattoos and piercings if I am ever not broke ,but I don't really have much money since I am mentally ill and disabled and cannot work a normal job. I like to make noises, my mom thinks they're annoying but I love them.

I love headpats and getting my hair played with

It's not a requirement but I wish someone could lift me up and carry me around like the little chaotic moon princess that I am🌙👑

Shure hope you like stickers ,because everything I own is covered in them. I might seem a little immature ,but the truth is that I just like being a baby

I like people with style,confidence and honor. I dont like beards, theyre itchy and rough and make you look old. I dont want to be a parent , I want to be the eternal child that I know that I am.

If you're anything like Rengoku from Demon Slayer, please marry me xD

[purplesurveys]

1805

Do you have a fan/air conditioning on right now? I have my aircon turned on, yeah. The colder weather flew by in the blink of an eye and now it's back to being hot and humid and gross and needing to have some sort of ventilation in front of my face 24/7.

When was the last time you sang along with a song? Which one was it? It was when I was singing along to Turn It Off by Paramore in the car earlier this afternoon, on my way home.

Are you currently wearing any hair accessories? Which ones? I have a hair tie on since my hair's in a loose bun.

Have you ever wished you had a different name? Which name would you choose? Wanting a different name was more the case when I was a kid, because children were brutal and bullied me to oblivion for my name; at one point I was insisting my family start calling me Isabelle just to escape the flinches I'd get whenever I'd hear my name.

Over the years and as those kids got older and started leaving me alone, I warmed up to my name and now think it's pretty badass.

Do you often press the wrong keys on the keyboard? No I'm pretty good at typing and the only time I get kind of clumsy is when I use a keyboard I'm not super used to.

Have you ever customised an item of clothing? What did you do to it? I've never done that; I've never been creative enough to DIY stuff.

When was the last time you got a splinter stuck in you? D: Less than a year ago.

Do you prefer drawing or painting? Any particular reason why? Painting. It's more therapeutic for me and at least with painting you can use the most random colors and shapes possible and it'd still, like, amount to something lol. I can't draw to save my life.

Are you saving up for anything right now? What? I'm saving up for life in general. With my resignation taking effect and me being down to my last four paychecks while I look for my next job, I don't plan on spending much until I settle the latter.

Are you any good at playing pinball? Nope.

Do you own any figurines? Of what? I don't. Not really my cup of tea to collect.

If you have any siblings, how much rivalry is between you all? I don't speak with my brother; my sister and I are great as can be.

When did you last have itchy eyes? It's been a while. This doesn't happen a lot.

If forced to go camping, would you rather sleep in a tent or a caravan? I would go with the caravan.

Is it dark outside right now? It is, since it's nearing midnight.

How often do you get jealous of other people? What is it usually about? Tbh no not really. I'm usually so much more caught up in my own life and my own problems that I've stopped paying attention to the ways I could possibly compare myself to others lol.

Do you prefer framed photos or just sticking photos straight onto walls? I don't do either of those but I wouldn't mind placing photos directly on my wall. It gives off a kind of raw aesthetic that I'm into.

What’s your favourite type of cake? I would never turn down cheesecake.

Have you ever woken up from a dream and believed it to have been real? All the time, which is why I always need to take a while to wake up lol.

When was the last time you brushed your teeth? Earlier this evening.

How tired are you right now? I'm not. I'm all excitement cos it's a long weekend hahaha.

When was the last time you had an argument with someone? What was it about? Idk if it counts as arguing but I guess I had a bit of a back and forth with Leah earlier this week? We met to discuss my resignation - she was offering all sorts of counterproposals, from a sabbatical to an all expense paid trip to anywhere I want - and on my end my goal was to be able to make her understand why any offer from here would be met by a firm no from me, as shitty as I feel about it.

If there’s a bug in your room, can you sleep or do you need to get it out? That bug would need to get out.

How long have you gone without sleep? Like, today? I've only been up for around 14 hours.

Can you drive yet? How good are you at it? I can drive, but idk, when can you start self-claiming that you're a good driver haha?? I'd say I keep careful while knowing how to use my tiny car to my advantage, but I do get major anxiety when I have to merge or switch lanes. That shit takes me way too long to accomplish hah.

Do you prefer travelling alone or with people? With people. I can barely take care of myself and know it would be a mess if I ever tried traveling on my own. It's something I want to try, of course, but I'm also well aware of my own watchouts for myself lol.

Did you listen to the radio today? Briefly when I got into my Grab rides to and from the office. I ended up listening to my own music both times.

What was the last baby animal you saw? That cute little puppy from a work-related TVC shoot.

Generally speaking, is it warmer or colder in your house than outside? It's ever so slightly colder; but if it's humid outside then it would usually be just as shitty inside.

When was the last time you threw up? Less than a month ago. Work anxiety.

Do you give people high fives or hugs more often? High fives and fist bumps.

Have you ever tie-dyed something? Just once, when it was an activity in school. We did it to a t-shirt.

Name something you thought was cool when you were younger but don’t now: Having an iPad. It felt almost revolutionary a decade ago and now it's like "well everyone has a tablet and it's kind of necessary for a lot of situations now so eh" lol.

How long does it usually take you to get to sleep? Less than 10 minutes. It's easy but it's also because I knock myself out by using my phone.

When did you last get a papercut? December.

Which do you prefer: Blackboards or whiteboards? Whiteboards. Blackboards are a bitch to clean up.

What sort of things do you have bookmarked in your internet browser? I never really bookmark things on my browser anymore.

Are / were you spoilt? Would others agree or disagree with you? To an extent, but I never was a dramatic kid and my parents only ever bought things for me so long as I earned it. I just say 'to an extent' because compared to my siblings I admittedly have more expensive preferences that my parents provided for me whenever they could.

What are you wearing right now? A sleeveless top and shorts.

What was the last book you read? Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982.

[moonmeg]

Reading through your au pair stuff and you sound very harsh towards the girl, acusing her of gaslighting you and making your life so miserable that you need to get out immediately. Four years ago she was still losing her baby teeth. She’s a kid. Think about it from her perspective. First, she’s fourteen-which is miserable no matter what the situation. Fourteen year olds are just like that. Second, she probably feels like you’re being forced on her- you said it’s your job to befriend and look after the kids? She probably feels like that’s all entirely fake and doesn’t want friendship if it’s an obligation on your part. Your friendship feels like a lie to her, most likely. Third, are you essentially a stranger in their house? Like, did you know her before or does the family make their kids live with random ass people they host? That’s a HUGE source of stress for kids, especially young teens. I don’t doubt that she can be bitchy but also, this cannot be an easy situation for her to deal with. And she’s dealing with it using an undeveloped brain that still struggles to make the right decisions socially.

It absolutely is a stressful situation for her too, no doubt. She told me so more than once herself and I feel bad for her in this aspect. In many situations I would've reacted the same as she does right now. I know she is a kid (she's 11 btw not 14) and I know having a stranger in your house whose friendship seems forced on you is not nice.

It's not her fault her parents keep dragging strangers in.

It however doesn't excuse her being rude and mean to the people around her. She treats her other family like this too. Everyone around her keeps saying that her being rude and aggressive... it's her character. She's always been like that and only sometimes is not.

I am harsh, oh I definitely am harsh on her (on tumblr). Because this has been going on for months without change. I've been patient with her because I am fully aware she is a kid and she is in a tough age and I can understand many of the situations she got mad at me and for many of those I do listen to her and do apologize. I still treat her with kindness and respect, despite how tired and mad I am at her for other things, because I don't just want to give her up.

I draw the line at trying to convince me I am in the wrong for doing my job (which also includes telling the parents about her behavior etc.) by just making stuff up out of nowhere and at blaming me for all fights she has with her parents. I have been enduring it because I thought she is young, she is just a kid, she'll grow. But I have reached my limit. My posts here regarding my situation with her are filled with a lot of emotion and bias since I write and post them shortly after the situation happened and so they sound and are harsh. Is it right of me? Perhaps not.

I don't want to claim myself to be a good au pair - I'm far off from that by own fault of mine.

I don't want to claim I have been flawless these 5 months. I am fully aware the things that are required of me can become annoying and are sometimes even things I wouldn't do on other people. I am fully aware this girl is probably just so tired of having au pairs around and just wants to be alone.

Nothing you said in the ask is wrong and I am totally with you there. I'm not searching for trouble or a fight. Not in the host family, not with anyone else.

You can think of all this and of me as you want. At this point I am just too tired caring about what other people think or have to say. Be it family, friends or strangers on the internet.

[personalanonymousrants]

I'm in a weird place in life, story time.

Every hour in my day is spent staring at a screen while sitting in my couch. Studies? Online. (Currently in vacation so yeah, not even studying) Friendships? Online, and currently very few (2 to be exact). Therapy? Online, once a week. Mental stimulus? Reading random posts on all sort of subjects online. Do I leave my house for anything, ever? Very, very rarely. Irl friends/companies? My ex, only him (he's not a monster, I assure you). We see each other every weekend and occasionally after he leaves work on a weekday when I *need* to get out of the house even if it is for just one hour to grab a coffee and watch the street.

I feel like I'm floating in the void of outerspace, completely lost.

Recently, I've been bombarded by my own thoughts of projects I abandoned. If you're reading this, brace yourself, this gonna be long. From 8 years of age I took great interest on reading, writing, acquiring knowledge (not always useful), learning languages (here am I fluent in English now). 12 years of age, I absolutely loved writing on notebooks (I'd always carry 3 of them EVERYWHERE in my backpack, each for a different topic). I would also spend hours on end drawing anime/mangá style art. 14 years of age, I got my very first tablet and began trying digital art and painting, while maintaining all the rest. I carried on all of those interests and hobbies until my 15 years of age.

In between 12 and 15, my privacy was breached many times and I got bullied for my art, for my texts, for my attempts creative expression as a whole. I was not one to express verbally already (actual autism, selective mutism), because talking felt unsafe and bullying made that worse. Overtime, artistic and creative expression felt less and less safe.

Until by 15 years of age I got into an abusive relationship and dropped everything. I lost my voice, and what was left of my ability to express myself along with my dignity and self-respect. I just gave up for good on trying to express myself in any way.

Got out of that relationship at 17. Entered another one with an alcoholic, made some attempts at trying to start writing again, on private, password protected journals on a website I won't disclose. Again I was forced to let someone read my stuff and had verbal stones thrown at me. By 19 I left that relationship, and entered another one. Healthier one, but not perfect, still with some toxic traits because nobody is perfect he is unable to understand some things about me and is unaware of others, all he knows is I'm traumatized (got PTSD from the 2 previous relationships), mentally fucked and hard to deal with. [He also has untreated ADHD (which doesn't favor him being able to listen to my long explanations of what's actually going on with me), and a very critical personality (though he means to be constructive, he lacks sense. Both of us think he might be autistic as well as he does identify with it, but he can't focus on learning more about it as he can't for any other psychology or neurodevelopment/neuroscience topic, at least he tried).]

I again tried to recover my interests and means of creative expression through art and stuff, but as a critical designer he'd give his unsolicited opinion and again unknowingly take away my freedom of expression by accident when he was only trying to help, he was unaware on how his comments hit me in a very different way and I was unable to communicate that to him, explain, or make him aware. That relationship ended by unrelated reasons when I was 22, in May. Just over a year ago. It was very hard to deal with the breakup and he remains as my only in-real-life friendship/social interaction other than my mom and occasionally grandparents.

I am currently 23 years old, I want to try to recover/reclaim my life, my voice, my creative power, creative expression, writing, drawing on paper, doing digital art. I started by beginning in oil painting, my paintings are unfinished and have been sitting in my shelves for months now with no new alterations. I feel like writing and I know not what to write about because there is this huge block which is something in between a creative block and a sense of danger/unsafe in my chest.

I feel like drawing on paper but I don't even try all the progress I worked so hard on making in my skills between 12 and 15 was totally lost. I don't know what to draw anymore (nothing comes to mind) and when I try it feels like everything is too ugly. Digital art is even worst. It's worth mentioning I lost any precision I had with a pen or pencil (I also shake a lot due to Anxiety and PTSD). So I decided to focus on other areas of life, started college online in a unrelated subject, while pursuing this technical degree online I'm also trying entrance exams for another university in a totally different bachelor (psychology) to do both at the same time.

I made projects that would suit well this focus on other areas:

Finishing oil paintings.

Reading Tarot/Sibilla/Lenormand professionally.

Teaching English conversation.

I have not taken a single step forward in any of those. It's like I'm petrified into staring at the computer and doing the same things over and over again:

Studying

Talking to online friends

Browsing random knowledge

Reading random books

I have lost my capability to organize my life/tasks and move things forward, completely. The only thing I'm moving forward is college which is now on break.

The wish to express myself creatively is calling me constantly, yet the block still stops me. The biggest advance I made towards that is rambling about my personal life in this anonymous page which I'm constantly paranoid about being linked to my identity or figured out by anyone in real life (specially my ex who's my only friend, or the closest I got to one. He has my back in a lot of stuff) for no special reason other than the feeling of unsafe exposure.

I will keep on trying to improve my organization. I will keep on trying to regain my power of self-expression, be it artistic, textual, visual, and even someday verbal! I know this will be a long battle, and any support is welcome since I have no means to express to anyone irl (other than my therapist) that I need that support. I must not give up even if any drawbacks shove me straight back in my isolated cave. I hope someday I'll be able to produce quality art again, in texts or images, and post it here, and eventually somewhere not anonymous. If I get there, I will be proud. I just don't know how to start or what to even try first, but somehow I will figure, wing it! Any advice is welcome. If you read this far, thank you very much for giving so much attention to this fragment of the story of my life, that truly is much appreciated.

Thank you, Tumblr. This is indeed an amazing website.

[macaroni-rascal]

Really good skating from Green/Parsons, but the colors are awful. It's a shade of red that looks like dried blood, and it's the same issue I had with Hawayek's Heart of Glass dress. And then to pair it with this awkward teal? A lot of teal this year, some more successful than others. The worst part is the ribbon on his waist, he needs a longer, less puffy shirt. This program is a non-starter, not just because it tries and fails to capture the magic of their iconic free dance from 2 years ago, but also because it's so meandering and devoid of concept and a coherent movement vocabulary (in contrast to the French, who will get to). They're making nice shapes with their bodies, but it doesn't add up to anything. I would've understood if the judges had dropped them in this program rather than the RD, since this is just a bag of random stuff pulled out the junk drawer. Her dress is contemporary, while his kinda period-inspired and doesn't fit his build, much like the Trennt sitch. I wish they'd scrap this one too.

Natalie, my sweet. While this is a great color on her, it didn't work paired with grey when VM did it, and it doesn't work now. His costume looks like an afterthought and the construction of hers is lazy and unflattering. I know they probably don't have the same resources as some other teams, so I'll let it lie, but also, the real problem here is the program. All they're doing is power skating between lifts and choreo elements. They're on two feet sooo damn much, and I dare them to take a step that isn't a crossover. It's not really ice dance, which sucks, because I really, really like them, but they're not an abstract concept team. Sorry about their dad.

Okay, the team that's really been impressing me this season, in spite of myself - the French. I loved the simplicity of her dress, which is why I don't get why they did the awkward, random dyeing on his. So many of these boys are wearing tops that look water-damaged. But I thought this program had a consistent movement vocabulary, it had a sense of dance history, and while we've seen them sharper this year, they did well here. I hate to say it, but Guillame did a great job. It's familiar music but it builds and they picked up every nuance and note, and this from a team I don't normally enjoy, so kudos. Good transitions like L/Q, great skating in hold, really seamlessly put together. Only they and H/B can pull off abstract.

LaLa - gorgeous colors, they looked like spring! Marjo was the force of the program, Zak looked a bit closed off in the chest, but I'm assuming that's from the injury and will pass. Some truly breathtaking elements and entries into them, and better levels, it seems. Skate Canada needs to get their scores where they need to be because Lolo and Nik hath no knees left. He did this to me with his shirt last year - it's big and boxy and flowy and bunches up at the waist, obscuring and cutting off his lines. Marjo, on the other hand, extremely pretty but a little too much skirt, I won't be surprised if it throws off her twizzles with how heavy it is. Such softness of movement yet such punctuation moments throughout, such effortless musicality and responsiveness to each other and the music. The one thing I will say is that it's maybe a bit too similar to the Nureyev and the Warsaw, but then again, it hasn't held other teams back, so why diversify? Get Zak a more fitted shirt and remove a layer of fabric from Marjo's skirt and they're ready for world domination. Nothing but respect for my next Olympic champions.

Okay, I really didn't want to become a C/B hater, but here we are - they've forced me over the past 3 years. What a load of pretentious schlock. We need to stop validating people just because they're hot. I'm pretty sure we've seen this concept 20 years prior. Her dress is well-made but it's what a teen whose social studies teacher once told her she should be a designer because she likes clothes would draw. Evan's outfit is straight out of Nathan Chen's closet of non-costumes. All of this is right out of the P/C guidebook on emperor's new clothes programs where they tell us we're too dumb to understand the high art that it is, when in reality they're just doing whatever to low-tempo music. All but one team here are stronger skaters than them. The whole program is just an exercise in figuring out how little actual skating they get away with. The fact that this is being celebrated and scored like this is why the sport is losing viewership, it makes the fans feel gaslit and taken for fools. And they can only do the planks and straight limb lines for a minute or so before they run out of steam, so whatever vague common visual thread there is totally falls apart. The USFSA fucked up when they let them win the nationals over the far superior H/D with that alien program because they wanted to give them a boost for the team event, but the lesson they took from it is that they could literally get away with murder, which is how we ended up here. I'm literally begging them to retire, they have me cheering for teams I usually can't stand. Prayer circle for the Italians to get a better RD.

Otherwise, Romain and Patrice serving looks like the dapper daddies they are, skaters take notes!

10s 10s 10s across the board.