#I'm feeling hopeful today
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Knowing SAD would hit especially hard this Autumn/Winter, I bought some flower bulbs to plant at home back in October. I knew that, even at my lowest, seeing the tiny sprouts emerging from the soil would cheer me up. Or at least that's what I hoped.
It worked.
Seeing the little green leaves peaking out of the ground, nothing but potential at that time, reminded me that what looks like nothing at one moment, will be beautiful one day.
Most of the bulbs I bought are still growing and won't bloom until late Spring/early Summer, but today, on the first day of Spring (for me), this is what I woke up to:
Only two of those flowers were fully open yesterday, and there's still a couple of buds that will bloom this week. Then, later on, the flowers will fall and the leaves will dry and the bulb will remain buried, dormant, until its moment comes again.
Life moves in a constant cycle. Things get better and then they get worse and, eventually, they get better again, and on and on. And throughout, there's beauty to be found everywhere, all the time.
#I don't know what this is#I'm feeling hopeful today#Spring always makes me feel better#happy Spring to those in the northern hemisphere#and happy Autumn to those in the southern hemisphere#flowers#words#mental health#personal#please ignore the dirty glass behind the pot#there's dust from the Sahara in the air and it rained a little bit yesterday so everything got dirty
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hgwahagagaga i love being alive
#rambles#hehe this is definitely not because of the mlb movie#and def not because my family is so nice and supportive and friendly and makes me feel cared for#in the most subtle ways#i'm feeling hopeful today#otherwise i wouldn't be able to see this beauty.#i love everything<3333
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#sherlock#it might be the cough medicine but I'm really feeling the bbc sherlock wedding episode today#a good feeling ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#like finding an old block of cheese in the back of the fridge you forgot about and its gotten super hard and chewy#i currently have half a block of gouda curating in the vegetable cupboard#waiting#how are you doing friends!! C:#I'm good! I still have the cough but I also got a new scarf#I'm still thinking about buying window colors as well but I am waiting if that is also just because of the cough medicine#I can't believe it's already been a year since I have moved! last year I was doing everything here for the first time#and now everything is happening for a second time! that year was both very long and also happened very fast#our floor in the “office” my father wanted to install still is not completly done but he threw up last time he tried#he did not threw up because of the floor but because every time he does a home renovation project he drinks 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola#we are trying to not make him drink 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola but he doesn't want anyone else to finish the floor I think so we just do#not mention the hole in the floor#have a nice autumn day friends!! I hope you're doing well! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )#♥
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JEON JUNGKOOK + fire stage performances 🔥 (cr. 0613data, namuspromised, moreloveforhobi)
happy birthday, steph! @cosmicdreamgrl 💗
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jeongguk#jungkookedit#bts#btsedit#btsgif#gif#userkelli#usersky#annietrack#userdimple#raplineuser#rjshope#useremmeline#usermaggie#dailybts#armysource#hi my love!!! happiest of the birthdays bb. wishing you the best today and always!#you're a gift and i feel very lucky to have you in my life. can't express how much i love and adore you 💗 you're so special and important#even jeongguk releases a song in your bday that's so meaningful 🥺🥺#this is just a little gift to you! hope you like it <3 watching this DANGEROUS man performing makes me think of you!#and ofc it has a lot more fire performances but i'm not good as you in giffing choreos so got to keep it short asldasd#hope i post this in the correct timezone adshjaksd i love u bb!
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MAN THAT REALLY COLORS THIS RESPONSE IN THIS CONVERSATION SO DIFFERENTLY FOR ME
#bg3#like here my silly ass that doesn't know shit was thinking 'wow i'm actually surprised he's pretty chill with this'#JOKES ON ME I'M BOOBOO THE FOOL#IT'S P R O B A B L Y MORE LIKELY THAT HE JUST ASSUMES IT WON'T LAST AND HE HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT#WOW............DAMN............GOT ME#CAUGHT ME SLIPPIN CAUSE I AM A LORE NOVICE HERE....................................#like SURE you could ASSUME that astarion would be flippant about having multiple partners like why wouldn't the flirty one be that way righ#but no no no there's much to think about here i'm unpacking the fucking layers i can feel my mind peeling like an onion#woag mama#i'm not articulate today b/c brain fog but i hope that made any sense#and hey maybe I'M even making assumptions but calling it a 'harmless affair' just.....that hits different#astarion
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There's something to be said about Nine and Twelve as parallels, about them being these seeming grumps with hearts of gold who must relearn optimism while being fundamentally kind at the end of the day, and Eleven and Thirteen as parallels, as these lonely tinkerers who travel with multiple companions at the same time but push people away before they get too close because they are creatures built on grief, and Ten alone, as something that is all and none of the above, who starts out as a creature born of love but who loses said love and is willing to die and must find grounding but loses said grounding and declares himself the Time Lord Victorious because if he cannot have love he has to have something, anything, he can call his own, and about how all five of them are shaped, fundamentally, by their grief and their guilt over the Time War and being the last of their kind and how every companion leaves them and they will always, always be the last one in the TARDIS, always be the last one surviving, no matter what, and yet all of them, at the end of the day, die to save someone. Die to be kind, just one more time. Because that is what ties them all together. That is what makes them the Doctor.
#it's just something i've been thinking about when writing eleven and thirteen#ninth doctor#tenth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#thirteenth doctor#hi i'm having a lot of feelings about my favorite tragic hopeful kind afraid angry protective LONELY alien today#it's about how they stole a TARDIS and ran away from home#about how they've always been running#and then the Time War keeps them running#and so do their companions#the companions that push them to be kind also push them to be cruel#because they are both the source of hope and tragedy at the end of the day#and i'm fine#i'm not crying you're crying#doctor who#meta
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Them filthy rodents are still coming for your souls (x)
#these were in my drafts since november#i remember not being too happy about the quality back then#but today i'm just deciding to share them cause we all deserve some thighs 🖤#i scrolled through it on my drafts and was like damn 🥵#i gotta put military outfit + thighs on top of perfectionism this time#so i hope you enjoy these until i'm feeling better and have mental energy to edit again#papa emeritus iv#copia#the band ghost#ghost band#ghost bc#papa copia#papa iv#popia#papa 4#my gifs#them thighs#the stare in the second gif!!! 💀
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#pecharunt#OKAY!!! yeah this is the last pokémon in the natdex. fuckin crazy‚ huh?#i appreciate everyone who's stuck around this long and hope you enjoyed the ride#it kinda snuck up on me‚ didn't it? i happened to look at who i was queueing up for today and. it was. the last pokémon#didn't know how to feel about that. as of this point in time (in the past) i'm still trynna figure out what to do with this blog after#this point but hopefully by the time this posts i'll have it figured out#here's to new ventures!#also this mochi fucker had some bangin music and a weird fucked up storyline etc etc you know the drill
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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For folks who missed today's QSMP Movie Night or want to rewatch it with the original audio intact, I've uploaded the Movie Night portion of several members' VODs to a public Google Drive. I will keep these files up until Monday, December 4th, so be sure to watch and/or download whatever you need before then!
UPDATE: The lovely folks at @mcyt-archives have added all Movie Night 2 VODs to the QSMP Archivist VOD Masterlist. If you're still having trouble finding an unmuted version of the VOD you want to watch, check out their archive!
[ As a side note: thank you to everyone who left such kind comments & messages on the previous VOD Archival post. You're all so sweet, it made me feel really happy and appreciated :') ]
#Mod Talk#QSMP#QSMP Movie Night#Thank you to the person who let me know Tubbo's VOD was having issues#Don't be worried if Tubbo's VOD says ''video still processing'' I had to re-upload it. Check back in 30 minutes or feel free to download it#Aghhh I feel bad that I was only able to get three and a half VODs...#But I was cut short because of that appointment I'd forgotten about and I really couldn't be late to it.#Sorry guys. Hope folks can still get some use out of this at least :(#.......also thank you mcyt-archives for reminding me that archive.org exists why the FRICK have I been using Google Drive LMAOOOOO#Listen I'm working off very little sleep and I got a blood draw today cut me some slack
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Trying to do something resembling coping after Singapore. Have some Max/Daniel hurt/comfort (1.3k). Also on ao3 if you prefer.
The press of a button freezes Max’s watery blue eyes, the space between them bifurcated by the crease in his forehead.
“Is now really a moment to remember?” Max asks in a raspy voice. His throat isn’t clogged by tears, but there’s almost a decades worth of race starts together sitting uncomfortably in there and congesting each word.
His hand hasn’t strayed from Daniel since he found him after the race. It’s somewhere on some part of him every time he’s close enough to touch.
Normally he’s halfway home by this point, Air Max somewhere over the circuit skies and headed back toward home.
He’s stayed, this time, in case this is it. In case this is his last chance to neatly fold Daniel’s clothes into his bag, even though his own are always wrinkled under pairs of stained shoes and dirty briefs. In case this is the last time they both exit the paddock as drivers. In case this is the final chance Max has to trace the shape of Daniel’s jawline and tell him, “Good race.”
Daniel’s mum is giving them a last minute alone. She’s standing guarding outside the door and leaving them be for now. Daniel knows, though, that when they stand, she’ll hug Daniel close, wishing he was little enough to hide in the crook of her neck while she covers all his gaping wounds with plasters and a kiss on each one to ease the ache.
Despite his complaints about the camera, Max still moves from where he’s crouched in front of Daniel to collapse into his side and observe the photo. He wraps one arm around Daniel’s back to tug him impossibly closer and rests his mouth on the top of Daniel’s shoulder in an exhausted kind of kiss.
“I look like shit,” he says, statement muffled by the fabric of Daniel’s shirt. He sounds like he wants to poke fun at himself until he makes Daniel laugh, but they’re both too hollowed out to muster up the energy. Instead, Max reaches out and turns off the display.
For a second, their fingers linger together on the camera’s body, until Daniel lets the camera drop back against his chest so he can entangle their hands instead.
“It’s not a nice memory,” Daniel agrees. Unlike Max, his voice right now can all be attributed to tears. “But in December, no matter what happens after today, I’ll get a retake on the farm. I’ll be happy, and we’ll be together, and life will go on from now.”
Daniel feels the dampness on his shoulder when a single tear breaks containment, then another, and a shuddering breath, until Max rights himself and pointedly looks away from the tiny patch soaked in cotton.
“It’s not fair,” he says tightly. For a second, he sounds every bit the bullish teenager with a black and white view on the way the world ought to work and bitter frustration that sometimes reality dapples in nuance. It’s the first thing to get Daniel anywhere within city limits of smiling since he set the lap record and gave himself a final moment in the car to reflect on everything this sport had given him, and that he had given this sport.
“Yeah,” he agrees hoarsely. “It’s not fucking fair.”
He’s done with excuses and niceties and dancing on the Red Bull puppet strings in hopes that playing their game might finally net him a seat he’d killed himself to earn. It’s not fair. It’s callous and cruel, the way they’ve strung him and everyone who loves him along for a race they aren’t even brave enough to tell him is his last.
They’re silent for another moment. Daniel closes his eyes and soaks it in: the tendrils of freshly washed hair still trailing water down his spine. The din of dog-tired employees breaking down the paddock, to be quickly vanished away as if it was never here. The ragged in-and-out of Max’s lungs as he tries to coax both of their breaths into something resembling normal.
“Thank you, by the way,” Max says softly. “And congratulations on your lap record.”
“You owe me a really nice Christmas present.”
Max presses a whisper of a kiss over Daniel’s drying curls. “You always deserve the nicest presents.”
Daniel’s mum slips in then, gently shutting the door behind her. Unlike Max, she’s made no secret of her tears. Her eyes are red-rimmed, but she musters up enough of a smile when Daniel heaves himself up into her arms.
“Come here, Max,” he hears his mum scold. A second later, Max is in an awkward three-person hug. Grace’s short arms struggle to embrace them both, but smelling her vanilla perfume and knowing she’s there is enough to surround him in all the ways that matter.
She whispers in turn to each of them, but they’re all so tightly wound, they can all hear every word.
“Thank you for being here every time I couldn’t be,” she tells Max. He murmurs something back, but he manages to keep it quiet enough that Daniel can’t make out all his words. It’s something about thanking her for trusting him with Daniel, but the rest is lost. All he knows is that his mum’s tears start flowing again.
When it’s his turn, she can barely choke out the words. “I’m so proud of you. For your career, of course, but for who you’ve grown into. I couldn’t have asked for a better son.”
“I love you,” is all Daniel manages. He buries the nose shaped like hers into the brown curls that his genes copy-pasted and soaks in gratitude that he has both her face and her endless capacity to love.
Daniel walks into humid night air with his head held high and a career most drivers would kill for, surrounded by people who love him for more than that list of achievements, and knows that he’ll survive whatever comes next.
“That’s a terrible photo,” Max complains three months later. His eyes are scrunched up all cute in it, framed by long lashes and sun-soaked freckles that are almost hidden by the streaks of dirt on his face. He’s smiling, both in the picture and right now, so Daniel knows he doesn’t actually mind.
Two weeks of busy Australian summer have left Max various shades of pink and tan. He'd somewhat learned how to use the grill that Daniel was too scared to touch and now had matching grill aprons with Daniel's dad. He christened the new baby cow the wholly uncreative name ‘Lilly’, because god forbid any animal in his vicinity not be named after Monaco nightlife. He’d also 100% taken to the dirt bikes as easily as everyone would assume and had absolutely, definitely not sworn Daniel to secrecy about where he got that giant bruise on his side after their first go.
When Daniel transfers the photos to his computer later, his finger pauses on the photo captured in a melancholic driver’s room. In it, Max’s eyes are dull and weary, but they’re looking at Daniel with the same unblinking love from today’s picture.
It’s proof, memorialized in expensive pixels, that Daniel’s life did not end on the streets of Singapore; that his worth to the world never depended on his points or podiums.
He closes the lid of his laptop and joins the gathering in the living room. Max is pouring fake tea for Isabella’s dolls. Isaac is politely sipping an empty teacup, one pinky in the air. Isabella is nowhere to be found, probably busy dragging Daniel’s poor parents to see Lilly the cow for the fifth time today.
“Daniel!” Max says, in the sweet, distinct way his mouth always forms the name. His face brightens when Daniel walks in. When Max smiles like that, it’s as if the sun has come through the roof and taken human form in broad shoulders and rumpled t-shirts.
“Max!” Daniel says back, matching his enthusiastic tone. He sits cross-legged in Isabella’s empty spot and slides his fingers between Max’s.
The tea party continues, and life moves forward.
#maxiel#fics#i’m a total inconsolable wreck today. so tried to write something with an air of hope and love and positive outlooks#not necessarily hopeful re racing#but its not about that#i actually cannot read or see anything about this so you're a braver soul than me if you actually read this#i feel like most of us are just sad and avoidant right now#but i'm posting this for myself bc it was cathartic to write
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emotional security is stored in the undramatic calm utterly certain and unbearably soft way alistair says 'my love?' when you switch to him once he's reached 'love' status
#gets me every time. the change from the giddy giggly responses early on in the romance to just like. that. help#it's so. *steady*. it feels like you could build anything on that and it'd hold up under the weight#alistair and garrus handshake meme that way#you can't just speak to me like that alistair you're making me think there could be hope in this world#that and the way zevran says 'my friend!' is all that's keeping me going right now haha#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#also got the banter today where he calls wynne his second favorite mage when you're romancing him as a mage 😊#god bless wynne for trolling him too I love everyone in this stupid game so much fuck you I'm not crying
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#selfie bee#me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails#i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade#FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!!#did you have a lot of snow on christmas!#we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c:#do you have any plans for the new year?#i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun#this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇`)ノ#I would also love to learn how to make a handstand#imagine if you could just make yourself upside down#but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either#but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ )#maybe I'll finally finish that website!#new years are good and fun#it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :)#who knows what this year will bring!#I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car#I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact#I wonder how he is doing today#since that moment I think about pheasants a lot#I knew they were real but I had never seen one#just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling#right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet#get dry soon pheasants!!#I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either#I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts#also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅#I've finished it and its really really bad#but I love it
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hi my loves,
i feel like this has been a long time coming, but i'm leaving tumblr for the indefinite future. i won't be active or replying to messages so feel free to add me on discord (svnflowermoon) if you want to stay in contact. my personal life is too overwhelming at the moment and tumblr just isn't hitting the same as it used to. so many of the friends i've made here who i hold so dearly in my heart are either inactive or just gone and it's just not bringing me the joy it used to.
i love you all so much feel free to add me on discord or ask for my insta if we're close (if you want to ask for my insta just message me either here or discord). the time i've spent here has been amazing but it's over for the time being. obviously feel free to send asks, i'll answer them whenever i get back to tumblr. i'm gonna be real with you this break could be for months but please know i'm always thinking of you all <3
i hold you all so close to my heart and i hope you all get everything you could want, you all deserve all the happiness the world has to offer. i have a special place in my heart for you all and i want you all to live the best lives you ever can.
i hope you think of me when you see sunflowers and dark red and billie eilish and the moon, and i hope you think of me when halley's comet plays, and when you go on long walks and feel the sun streaming through the leaves. i will be back one day, just not now. i hope to see you all at some point where i'm in a better headspace for tumblr and i'm looking forward to seeing you all again one day.
lots of love, lucy <3
my intro post if you're new here
#luc posts#been thinking about this for a while but seeing that zel is leaving just made me decide to do it lmao#will be active for today for anyone asking for insta but after today i'll be deleting the app and logging out of the website <3#won't be deactivating my blog because i'm too attatched to it but i won't post at all + no queued posts#i'll be back one day when i feel like myself again mwah#it's been a good year and a half and i love you all <3#ilysm and as our girl gracie said: i hope you all get everything you could ask for <33
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💕 Happy Valentine's Day 💕
(from the sappiest mf in the whole KP Universe)
[many more text post memes]
#I'm sorry but Valentine's Day just feels extremely Kinn-core to me so there you go 😂#and let me say it again:#I hope you're having a lovely day today however you choose to spend it <3#valentine's day#kinnporsche the series#kpts#kinnporsche + text post#kinn theerapanyakul#kinn × porsche#text post meme#because the kinnporsche brain rot is still real#in the queue you go
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Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x
#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#filing under things that are just new to me#escaping the dread for a moment with making some little gifs#thinking of everyone today#I've been numb with dread but I've been thinking of that Justin Mc Elroy quote like I'll keep doing good and no one can vote on that#I'll keep helping and supporting my friends and community and taking care of myself too#and one of those ways will be momentary escapes here in F1blr#I won't ramble too much but I'm just so heartbroken and dissapointed ... I had such hope#but we'll keep going and keep being strong ❤️ or I keep telling myself that!!#I gotta get back to the office#but sending everyone lots of energy and good thoughts and thank you for this space to get away and feel better for a little moment#have a restful day night and morning ahead 🏙️🌃🌆#be back soon!!#mentally will be at Daniel singing in the car and Max vibing along with him#maxiel hours in my heart only always
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