#I'm disgusted with myself
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Physically I am still at work
mentally I am getting impaled by Sylus
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lnds ramblings#i wrote two more sylus fics before i even saw that trailer#and now#now#i'm disgusted with myself#two more hours and then i am subjecting everyone to a weekend of my sylus simping
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
I found somebody cute again
why me...
1 note
·
View note
Text
I hate myself.
I hate my face.
I hate my eyes.
I hate my ears.
I hate my nose.
I hate my mouth.
I hate my lips.
I hate my hair.
I hate my neck.
I hate my shoulders.
I hate my chest.
I hate my back.
I hate my belly.
I hate my hips.
I hate my arms.
I hate my hands.
I hate my fingers.
I hate my skin.
I hate my crotch.
I hate my thighs.
I hate my knees.
I hate my legs.
I hate my feet.
I hate my ankles.
I hate my toes.
I hate my smile.
I hate my laugh.
I hate my scars.
I hate my stretch marks.
I hate my bones.
I hate my body hair.
I hate my voice.
I hate my mind.
I hate my thoughts.
I hate my dysphoria.
I hate my depression.
I hate my anxiety.
I hate my eating disorders.
I hate my trauma.
I hate my nightmares.
I hate my past.
I hate my memories.
I hate my childhood.
I hate my adolescence.
I hate my adulthood.
I hate my existence.
I hate my life.
I just hate every single thing about myself so fucking much...
#dear diary#worthless#empty#tired#useless#i want to die#i hate myself#i'm sorry#pain#alone#anxiety#self harm#suicidal#sad#depression#heartbreak#hurt#hopeless#kill me#lost#lonely#broken#numb#not good enough#i have no words to express how much disgust i have for myself...#i just hate myself#tw
773 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was working on a new fic that I was really looking forward to, but in light of recent revelations, I'm gonna be taking a step back I think
also i removed him from the member masterlist and all of his fics, excluding things like YIMA and the poly series which I'm considering re-editing to get rid of him
#because honestly i'm disgusted and shocked#and i know my fics are entirely irrelevant in the scheme of things#but i kinda want to go through all of them and edit him out#which is easy (and already done by the time i'm posting this) for him as a background character in#some of the other members fics i've written but in others it's more complicated#like in yima and the poly series#as well as anything i've ever written that directly involved him#i also.... like was thinking about some of the stuff i included in yima with hc watching cameras#and now i..... i really want to change that bc when i was writing it i was like ah yeah this is pretty like gross#but now i'm like actually thinking realistically about that and it's fucking foul#so i'm definitely taking a step back#and i may quietly re-edit some stuff or i may just not be able to bring myself to do that#i have removed his masterlist from my member masterlist and all of his fics
179 notes
·
View notes
Text
thought of sitting down on your couch and watching a completely unrealistic "reality" love drama show with SatoSugu, both of their arms lounged comfortably behind you along the back of the cushioned furniture. you retort cunning, brash criticism from time to time with each passing scene/episode whenever something goes haywire, about how the men are repulsive and unloyal as fuck, all while Satoru leans in close to you and completely agrees with you, theatrics and all.
"That was so fucking disgraceful, what a asshole! she definitely didn't deserve that"
"Ughhhh, I know right?! he should've just came out and tell her to her face instead of pulling that shady shit! god, men ain't shit!"
and poor Suguru just glances back and forth between the two of you, enjoying the boisterous, distasteful remarks about the cheating partners in the current show you all were watching. he thinks it's silly and ridiculous, but he truly admires the full hearted admiration and passion that dwells in yours and Satoru's tone. the pure thrill and enticement in the both of your eyes filling his heart with so much love and adoration. he absolutely loves his silly, dramatic partners 💗
#i'm sorry but i can totally see Gojo being all dramatic with his lanky arms and silly cute facial expressions! 😭💀#that man is just as invested (if not MORE so) as you!!#he does the 'blegh' disgusted noise eye rolls and boo's the whole shebang! 😭😭😭#no but this is actually really cute to think about tbh! 💗🥺#was watching some clips on tiktok about a show called 'love island usa'#....i kinda wanna watch it myself lmao (i usually stray away from those sort of shows but like...it intrigues me lmfao)#(I grew up watching 'the bad girls club' and 'jersey shore' sooo that kinda explains why i'm kinda curious LOL 😭🫥💀)#silly thoughts thought by a silly tumblr girlie <3#satosugu x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#gojo x reader x geto#jjk
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm obsessed with the fact that Amalia and Yugo have individual thrones while Armand and Aurora had to share (I don't have a screenshot for it, but if anyone could add one, I'd really appreciate it).
That's right, babies! You show 'em how to be a literal power couple!
#wakfu#wakfu spoilers#wakfu webtoon#wakfu la grande vague#wakfu the great wave#wakfu season 4#wakfu season 4 spoilers#amalia sheran sharm#yugo the eliatrope#yumalia#armand sheran sharm#aurora#realistically speaking I know it's probably because while Yugo and Amalia are both rulers in their own right and each other's consort#Aurora was just Armand's consort#meaning she did indeed have less power than him#but until the webtoon gives her some depth and maybe some redeeming traits I ain't giving her nothing#I'm sorry#but as much as I came to appreciate Armand his interactions with Aurora always made shudder in disgust#I can't bring myself to care about that ship#ankama#dofus#waven#krozmos
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I cannot show support to Palestine at my university (flyers for protest, the colors and the flag, you get it...) because it's "encouraging violence and antisemitism" but when my university was tagged with antisemitic symbols, they did NOTHING. When the students union was targeted with threat of violence and their office was destroyed, covered with neo-nazis symbols, they did NOTHING.
The Neo-Nazis student association (which has been multiple times reported for their hate-crimes) were distributing flyers at the entrance yesterday WITHOUT ANY ISSUES, because they support Israel.
#I'm so mad#france#palestine#And I will not talk about the caricature of leftists in a nazi uniform because we support Palestine#That's like so fucking disgusting how dare they compare people being AGAINST a genocide to Nazis#repeating to myself that murdering one of those assholes of the gov will only make it worse#don't fucking judge me on my violent thought I a French leftist this is normal to us we know this is the only way to get things done#bro look at the Marseillaise lyrics it's about fighting turanny and oppressors that kill your family#and you dare make France stand with Israel#I know things suck way more for other people but I am tired and scared about what France is becoming
437 notes
·
View notes
Text
mentally, i'm playing with my chuuya and dazai dolls, making them kiss then giggling and blushing into my pillow as I die from happiness.
#I disgust myself#then I'm gonna throw them in a fire and laugh maniacally as I watch them burn to ashes#soukoku#bungou stray dogs#bsd.txt
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
Astarion when you call him out on his manipulation: "Oh hehe I know, I'm just soooo silly throwing those three little words around, aren't I? But it can be true for...if only for tonight...😏" (Is being eaten alive by guilt and shame).
The Emperor when you call him out on his manipulation: "Be grateful I don't fucking end you right here and now."
#sorry emp fans i just myself getting increasingly disgusted by him with each run I do lol#just got the shirtless flirty dream with him last night and that was the final straw lol#literally just told him 'hey I know this is an act' and he gets SO pissed lmao#emperor more like incelor#i never sided with him anyway but each time I'm confronted with THAT scene specifically my hatred for him goes up a lil bit more#and like it's just funny to me that ppl will compare these two characters#i agree to an extent that they were both lying to tav for survival reasons#but it's their reactions to being called out on their lying/manipulation that are super telling#bg3#astarion#bg3 spoilers
70 notes
·
View notes
Note
giving kendall roy a blowjob pls
i have a fic about this here buuuttt i've been so down bad for ken lately and am embarrassed to say i literally dropped all my WIPs to also write this. inspired by this gif from @technicolourtelevision. also please follow my succ sideblog if u are a kendall girlie like myself @kendollroyco!
warnings: smut under the cut (18+ only, oral sex m receiving, degradation, dom!kendall - sorry but i want him to be mean to me) not proofread, and potentially just bad -- i wrote this in like a 30 minute fugue state.
first off, where you do this is kind of important because there are sooooo many good opportunities. maybe you work for him and he's making you suck him off under your desk, his hand down the front of your blouse. you have to go to the bathroom after to clean yourself up because your mascara is smudged and he's ruined your hair. or maybe you're on your knees for him in the back of a car, and he's refusing to roll up the partition. the straps of the gown you've got on are falling off your shoulders, and you're worried about getting caught but he's shoving your head down and he's whispering shit like 'but you're taking it anyways, aren't you?' and you can't help but moan as he shifts his hips so you take him even deeper.
but REALLY what i think about is like, in the most recent episode when he talks about not sleeping well. you're his girlfriend who lives with him, but you hardly see him. and one night when he comes home late you can just tell he's tense, like, ready to snap at anyone who gets in his way. you're curled up wearing one of his old harvard sweatshirts maybe watching tv or looking at your phone and he looks so fucking good in one of those suits that fits him like a glove.
when you ask him how he's doing, he's short and snippy. 'fine.'
'you stressed or something?' you ask, rather than start an argument.
'fuckin', uh, i don't know, what does it look like?'
you're sort of taken aback by how rude his response it, standing over you with his hands on his hips. 'don't tell me you waited up this late for me....' he's trying to chastise you, but you can see right through him.
'you're working too much' you sit up.
'uh-huh, right. i don't want to hear your shit right now, i'm fuckin' exhausted-' and he's trying to be mean, to push you away.
'i bet. all you do is toss and turn at night,' you agree.
you reach out, hook your fingers around the cool silver of his belt buckle and yank. he steps forward, even if his eyebrows are still pinched together, his lips curled down into a frown.
'i could give you something that might help.'
by the time you've pulled his briefs down to his ankles, his face has neutralized, even though his hands are still on his hips. you drop to your knees, ignoring the chill of the italian marble. he smiles a little, then, puts a hand on top of your head.
you don't go slow, you don't want to, and he doesn't let you. he pulls your hair and jerks his hips into your mouth. you take him all, using your hands to spread the slick from gagging on him several times around. of course, he talks you through it, tells you exactly what to do and how he wants it in that deep, raspy voice, which only gets deeper when he's turned on.
'god, you're such a fucking slut.'
and you don't care about looking pretty while you blow him. no, you might normally try to be cute about it, but when he's mean it only makes you more feral. you choke and gasp until tears run from the corner of your eyes and you're drooling, straddling his foot and grinding yourself against his black prada oxford's.
you whine and mewl around him, mouth so full the noises are unintelligible. 'you're so pathetic,' he groans, looking down at you, and you can tell he's getting close because his voice doesn't have the same conviction as before. 'that's it, atta girl, just take it.'
the more you allow yourself to get into it, the more turned on you get. the more turned on you are, the more desperate and filthy you want to feel. it just keeps building, compounding. until you take him just a little too far and retch. 'easy, easy.' kendall pulls back, his voice stern.
glancing up, he almost looks concerned. he scolds you. 'control yourself.'
you're pissed that it nearly sobers you up. 'shhh,' you hiss, swat his hand away from where it's landed on your cheek.
'okay, fine, if you fuckin' want it that bad.' his fingers fist the back of your head again.
immediately, you wrap your lips back around his cock. you use both hands to jerk him while you suck on his tip, bobbing your head and humming around him.
he gets quiet, and that's your cue. he's not great at using his words when he's about to come, but it's a good indication to keep up the rhythm you've built and not stop under any circumstances.
'uh-huh, that's-fuck!' ken makes sure he's buried in the back of your throat when he comes, hard, his hips stilling their movements, but he keeps your head in place with both his hands until he's sure you've swallowed everything he has to give you.
at some point, you pull away and slump against the back of the couch. your eyes are watering, your face feels impossibly hot, and your jaw aches. it's hard to see straight, so you cover your eyes with your hand.
'jesus,' kendall mutters your name.
you peek at him between your fingers to see him squat down. now he's on the same level as you. he moves your hand away from your face, a look of genuine curiosity etched in his features. you'd never blown him like that before. 'where'd that come from, sweetheart?'
'it's dumb,' you shake your head, a little embarrassed. 'i listened to this podcast...'
the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles, hand under your chin so you are forced to look at him. 'uh-huh?' he asks. 'at home all day fuckin' uh....taking notes on how to give me good head?'
'shut up,' you go to smack his head away, feeling a new warmth rise to your cheeks, but he grabs your wrist and hauls you against his chest, nose poking into your hair, lips on your cheek.
'is there, uh, anything else they had to say on there i might be interested in learning about?'
'potentially,' you answer. 'if you have all night...'
he laughs, a comforting rumble right into your ear. 'i do.'
#idk what it is but like there is something about this man's manic dick i cannot stop thinking about#like this is so disgusting i'm hiding myself in shame rn#asks#writing#kendall roy#kendall roy x reader#succession writing#kendall roy smut
547 notes
·
View notes
Text
"smash or pass tfa Ratchet" the fuck u mean "pass" i would literally [THE REST OF THE POST HAD BEEN DELETED FOR VIOLATING TUMBLR'S COMMUNITY GUIDELINES] no just kidding i would dig my own cum out of his pussy with my tongue and then suck on his prolapsed cervix until his ovaries fall out
#i dont want to post this#it's not that this shouldn't be said. it's just that i'm a 100% serious about it that makes it so disgusting#but i have to stay true to myself#valveplug
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#serious question is it /wrong/ to look at my own pictures and be like fuck i'm so hot and pretty?#like i spent 25 years of my life being my biggest hater so it feels weird. almost wrong to like myself this much#and not just that but to say it out loud??#of course there still are many things i don't like abt myself#and i'm probably liking what i see atm because i'm ovulating#i give it a couple more days and my luteal phase will KICK MY ASS#and i'll start feeling and looking disgusting again lmaooo#but yes anyways#i'm just. i'm so pretty?#but i feel like it's frowned upon to even say it out loud#if you're insecure everyone encourages you to love yourself. but if you love yourself then ppl will be like ok who tf does she think she is#and ???? what is expected of us??#anyways.
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw this post and had to make it StanXeno
#novice-comics#dr stone#dr. stone#dcst#dcst spoilers#season 4 spoilers#stanley snyder#lyrics from disgusting by kesha#this was a quick sketch#please don't judge the bad anatomy too harshly#I'm trying to force myself to post sloppy instead of dying in perfectionism purgatory
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
dick owners who are bodily able and living in an enviromentally capable conditions to flush toilets in a shared bathroom but don't,
fuck you 🖕🏻
#rin rambles#cw vent#cw unhygienic descriptions#delete later#you are disgusting. period.#i absolutely loathe these lind of inconsiderate people jesus fucking christ how low of an eq do you have#unhygienic incapable fucker i am so tired of going to bathrooms and finding piss and shit i hope the rest of your week suck#what are you? dogs? even dogs have the decency to try and bury their shit and piss. you're worse than dogs#i'm sorry i'm just so angry i've been putting up with this for months now and i'm just so fucking tired and disgusted#gods i want a studio apartment all to myself so bad but they're so obscenely expensive *and* small#i just want to go home.#just let me go home. please. please.
43 notes
·
View notes