#I'm crying a little and my stomach hurts I wish I could actually hug someone right now so very

[angeltism]

I don't even know how to feel or what to do

[nervouswhizkid]

i. am so mad. i'm mad at season 4 and at every one of you that interacted with my last post abt vld season 3. i know u were all sitting there giggling at me as i walked into s4 knowing full well it was going to destroy me. no WARNING??? i don't even want to sit down and write about it, i'm gonna start crying all over again

i hate that keith left the team. i have to actually practice breathing techniques right now because it's making me so mad omg. i know i said last time that voltron without lance was unthinkable, but i didn't mean that keith should leave. THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!! that also means that there was less keith (and klance) content this season, which i take personally. they did that to hurt me specifically. and on top of that, the team was being so mean about keith's wavering priorities. i feel like when anything goes wrong, with lance and keith specifically, everyone is so mean to them??? god forbid they make a mistake or have personal struggles, DAMN

i feel like this screencap says it all.

guys how about let's talk to each other instead of being passive aggressive and icing people out (i do want to point out though that lance seems more sad/disappointed here than anything. my little klance heart is breaking 😭) AND THIS SCENE??

the moment i realized keith was about to walk in my stomach dropped. they all look so angry and here comes Mister Puppy Eyes McGee. i actually can't take it that's my son everyone leave him alone!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺 i know they had a big group hug after but that's not good enough for me, they should have tied keith up or handcuffed him to the ship, or something. WHY ARE WE LETTING HIM GO WITH THE BLADE OHMYGODDDD

look at this, like??

the camera setup is what gets me. you have keith smiling with all of his friends in the background and then it swaps to a dark, yawning hallway with the most heartbreaking frown on his face. that doesn't look like someone sure of their decisions to me. this boy is in pain!! i'm also just confused about shiro being able to pilot the black lion. maybe confused isn't the right word, but i'm not sure how to describe it. i'm not convinced?? black already denied him, so why now? i kinda feel like it would've been better had he not tried to reconnect with her at the end of last season, because there was no suspense for me this time. the moment he decided to go try again i was like "oh it's gonna work this time isn't it" i get that it's likely black could sense keith's internal struggles and feel him pulling away and maybe that's why she gave shiro a second chance, but shiro becoming the black paladin again gave keith the excuse to leave, because why do they need him now? they have a black paladin, and it's not him. but to me, it should have been. he went through all of that growth last season, and for what?? just to abandon them when things get rocky?? ugh, i hate this!!

i can't even talk about episode 2 without crying, so just know that i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face as i write this. i was really excited to finally get some closure on the whole pidge-missing-family mystery, considering that's been a subplot since the beginning of the show. as much as this episode broke my heart, i really did love it. they executed it so well. the scene where pidge lands on that planet with the graves? and they're running and pleading for it to not be true, all the flashbacks of cherished memories and images of matt? dropping to her knees in front of his grave in disbelief??

now that's fucking cinema. you best believe i was bawling my eyes out the whole time. i have a little sister and our relationship is very similar to pidge and matt's, so this was just excruciating. i'm very glad he wasn't actually dead, but part of me almost wishes he was? that sounds SO dark, i hope you guys get what i mean. they just put the audience through the absolute wringer and then they're like "oh, actually he's still alive LOL gotcha!" and that makes me really happy for pidge, but man, what a plot twist that would have been. they've been searching for their brother all this time, so you expect some kind of payoff for dedicating so much time to that storyline, but what if he was just dead?? and there was nothing she could do?? wow this is painful to talk about why did i start watching this show if there's a fic where someone explores that possibility then pls share, for some reason i want to torture myself again, i just love how they did this episode. it's very trope-y, but sometimes you just have to lean into it and enjoy, and this was one of those times

the classic fighting-each-other-unknowingly and middle-of-the-fight-identity-reveal? i'll eat it up every time!!

real talk though why is matt so attractive 😏

soo, zarkon is back. fantastic. do he and haggar just not care about each other?? they haven't mentioned the fact that they're married at all and haggar basically still acts like his loyal follower. i'd entertain the thought that maybe it's been so long that it just doesn't really matter to them anymore, but haggar sounded like she actually cared when she realized they were husband and wife last season. but now it's like nothing happened?? i don't expect them to act all lovey-dovey, but there wasn't even a single line of acknowledgment. and i still cannot understand what lotor's plans are. what is his agenda? he wasn’t bothered at all by zarkon reclaiming the throne, and even went to the trouble to make them think he cared. he got that comet and made a couple of ships, but i still don't know what he plans to do with them. also– i can't believe he killed narti!! i know, i was literally just talking about how she specifically frustrated me, but i was so not expecting their death. i get why he did it, but now the rest of his group doesn't trust him.

i'd say that the one bright spot in this season was episode four. that episode was just so silly and gave me so much secondhand-embarrassment i actually had to look away at times LMAO is this where we got the whole Loverboy Lance and Lone Wolf Keith thing from?? i thought that was purely fandom-made, i was not expecting to hear that in an actual episode. talk about whiplash. and we got this ICONIC scene:

he did that wayyy too naturally. lance, buddy, got anything to share?

i really would have loved to see keith with the team during that episode. i can just imagine how he would've reacted to having to do all of that stuff. god, that would've been hysterical!! the images of the parasite in coran's brain made me gag though, was that really necessary🧍‍♀️

i don't have a ton to say about the final episodes. i mean, it was two episodes of them fighting on naxzela. it was definitely a bit of an avengers endgame feeling with all people they helped in previous seasons showing up to fight, so that was cool! i'm curious as to what purpose naxzela served to the galra empire though. were they always planning to use it as a bomb? and couldn't they still do that technically? they only broke the witches connection with it, so all they'd have to do is get another ship out there and she could do it again. what do you even do with a planet like that?? just destroy it?? i also just want to point out that lance said they should get out of there immediately, and nobody listened!! and then five seconds later they were like "oh no, we need to get out of here!" justice for lance i stg ohmygod and LOTOR is on their side now?!?!?! i actually can't wait to see how this plays out!! total transparency, i love atla and i could absolutely see this being a zuko redemption arc situation. it's clear his parents don't like him at all (are they actually heartless or something??) so why not join the other side!! I'M HERE FOR IT

i have to be honest, this definitely wasn't my favorite season. we're getting into the later seasons and i've heard plenty about how the writing goes a little left-field (though i'm not sure when that happens. most people seem to agree season 8 is shit, but i've heard complaints about s6-7 as well) so we'll just have to see! i'm sticking it out as best i can🚶‍♀️‍➡️ onto season 5!

[beels-burger-babe]

Storm Clouds on a Sunny Day

***Oooooo Teen!MC! Thank you for the request @lovevictoire! Now, although I think I'm technically Gen z??? (I could be a millennial. I have no idea). I have like 0 sense of most pop culture and probably won't be able to write that classic gen z chaotic humour properly, so I'm not going to attempt. What I can do is the hurt/comfort aspect of this which I LOVE! So, let's do this. I hope you enjoy it. ((Oh and before I forget *hugs*))***

Summary: MC has always been a happy positive ray of light that brought joy with them wherever they went; at least that's what the brothers and the other exchange students would tell you. But when they suddenly start getting quiet and begin isolating themselves, everyone is concerned.

TW: descriptions of grief.

In the darkness of the Devildom, you were the sun.

Since arriving in the dark, cruel world of the demons, you had reminded them how to smile, how to laugh, how to love. With you around, it was like the brothers had another sibling again. For the other exchange students, you were a breath of fresh amongst all the horror and despair of the Devildom.

In short, everyone had come to love and be incredibly fond of the teenage human that; which is why they noticed instantly when you weren't acting like yourself.

For starters, you had skipped breakfast, which greatly concerned Beel. The friendly giant had to go up and bring you your food afterwards.

He gently knocked on your door with one hand as he held a plate with way too much food on it in the other. "MC? Are you awake? You missed breakfast."

There was a small curse from the other side before he heard some shuffling. The door cracked open to reveal you wrapped in a bundle of blankets. It wasn't until you looked up that Beel got a good look at your face and his stomach dropped.

Your eyes were tinged red with tear tracks stained onto your cheeks. Your bottom lip was still trembling from the effort of not breaking down into sobs. There was not a trace of the sunshine child that you usually were inside of your stormy sad eyes.

Beel's heart broke as you still attempted to give him a small smile and took the plate from him. "Th-Thanks Beel."

He kept a hand on the door to prevent you from closing it. "MC, are you alright? What happened?"

Your eyes widened a little and you quickly wiped at your cheeks. "I-I'm just not feeling that well. Can...Can you tell Lucifer I'm taking a sick day?"

Beel nodded as concern grew stronger and stronger inside of him. "Of course. Whatever you need."

You weren't actually sick, Beel could tell that much. What you were was heartbroken. Something had reached into your soul and shattered it into pieces. He to ask you what it was. He wanted to reassure you that everything would be okay. But instead, he let you close the door and hurried back to his brothers.

His brothers looked at him skeptically as he arrived, noting the lack of a tiny human alongside him. It was Belphie, however, who noticed the distressed look on Beelzebub's face. "Beel, is everything alright? You look upset."

Beel simply shook his head and looked over to Lucifer. "MC has asked me to tell you that they would like to take a sick day."

Everyone was instantly on their feet in worry.

"Sick? What kind of illness? I can get any medicine they might need and look up the quickest way for them to recover." Satan quickly stated as he began to move towards the kitchen.

Belphie nodded and picked up his pillow. "If they're sick, they'll need rest right? I'll go up there and help them sleep better."

Mammon moved to go with Belphie. "I'll come with ya. They'll feel better with if their favourite's there with them."

Belphie growled and shoved Mammon as Levi spoke up. "I-I mean, I doubt they'd want to spend the entire day with me, but at the very least I can provide them with some movies and games for entertainment. In fact, it might be easier if we just, um, m-move them to my room."

Mammon and Belphie were now snapping at Levi rather than each other.

Asmo scrunched up his nose in disgust and put up his hands. "Yeah, no thanks. I love MC, but I'll leave you guys to handle all the snot and vomit thank you very much. Tell them when they're healthy, I'll give them a spa day, just the two of us."

Lucifer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Boys, Beel hadn't even told us what is wrong with them yet," everyone froze and turned to Beelzebub. Lucifer nodded and gestured for him to continue. "As you were saying, Beel."

Beel shifted uncomfortably at the attention. "Right. So, I don't think they're actually sick."

Lucifer rose an eyebrow at this as an air of defence grew around him. "You think they would lie?"

Beel huffed in annoyance and shook his head. "No. I don't think they would. But when they answered the door, they didn't look sick. They looked like they were grieving," everyone breathed in sharply at the statement, but Beel continued. "They honestly looked like they had been crying since midnight. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't get any sleep at all last night."

Lucifer frowned and finally made a move towards the door. "I, and I alone, will go speak with them. We don't want to overcrowd them. In the meantime, someone please contact Simeon just in case they truly are sick and Beel misinterpreted it," he ignored the several shouts of protest as he walked to your room.

He knocked softly on the door twice before carefully opening the door. "MC? Beelzebub informed me that you aren't feeling-"

Lucifer cut himself off as he saw you hugging your knees to your chest in bed, sobbing your heart out. He quickly made his way over and sat down beside you, gently placing a hand on your back. "MC, what's the matter? I've never seen you this upset before."

You didn't answer. You merely turned towards him and buried your face in his chest as you clung to his shirt. Lucifer quickly wrapped his arms around you and held you tight.

It was almost as if he could feel your sorrow within the sounds of your cries. The way they shuttered and cracked with every inhale and vibrated with pure agony on every exhale. You were trembling violently in his arms in a way that he hadn't felt since-

Since he held his brothers after Lilith's death.

Realization came to him as he glanced over and noticed the lightly crumped picture of you and another human on your side table. His breath caught in his throat and he held you tighter. "Oh MC," he whispered softly. "I am so sorry."

He held you there, letting your tears stain his shirt without a single care. He held you as your sobs softened into sniffles. He held you as your head lolled to the side and you finally gave in to sleep.

Lucifer had been about to fall asleep himself when he noticed the door open. Simeon, Luke and Solomon stood there with equal expressions of concern.

Luke took one look at your tear-stained face before a flicker of fury and angelic protectiveness flashed across his face. He opened his mouth to shout at Lucifer, but was stopped as a hand came over his mouth.

Solomon looked down at him sternly. "They're sleeping, Luke, and clearly in need of it. You don't want to wake them."

Luke huffed and slapped Solomon's hand away before going over to the bed and climbing in beside you and Lucifer.

Simeon pulled out a bag that clinked and clattered from the vials within it. "Satan had said that there was a possibility MC was ill?"

Lucifer sighed and continued to rub circles into your back while Luke gently dried your face with a handkerchief. "Unfortunately it seems the only illness they have is a broken heart." He nodded to the picture on the nightstand. "They appear to have lost someone. Today must be an anniversary of some sort that reminded them of it."

Both Solomon and Simeon's faces softened at the explanation. Simeon put the bag away. "I'm afraid I don't have anything that can help with that."

Solomon nodded. "It's a feeling I believe we are all familiar with," he stood in silent thought before snapping his fingers and grinning. "I know what will cheer them up! Some soup! It most certainly cheers me up whenever I'm upset. I'll go make them a pot right away," he smiled proudly as he left the room, missing the look of horror on everyone else's face.

"Oh my," Simeon began, "I better go supervise and make sure he doesn't accidentally poison them. Luke, do you wish to come?"

He shook his head and hugged you. "I'm not leaving them."

Simeon smiled fondly and glanced up to Lucifer who shrugged. "So long as he doesn't mind being the presence of a demon, I suppose he can stay."

Luke grumbled and continued looking at your hand as he held his up to it and compared sizes. "If they were able to fall asleep around you and you were able to comfort them...maybe you're not so bad."

Simeon raised an eyebrow in shock and laughed a little. "Well there you have it," he looked back to Lucifer. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything."

He nodded and watched the older angel leave.

@thegrimgrinningghost

Although the day was a rough one for you, there was not a second where you felt alone. There was always someone to hold you, to listen to you, and comfort you when you needed it most.

On days when sadness and despair threatened to cloud over the Devildom's only source of sunshine, the lords of the Devildom and your friends would be there to keep you warm until the sun could shine again.

***I hope you enjoyed this cute little comfort fic! Thanks again for the request @lovevictoire!***

TAGLIST

@henry-and-the-seven-lords

@satans-beloved-riv

@cosmixbun

@sufzku

[watermelonlovershigh]

Harry Gets Food Poisoning While at Your House

This prompt was requested by this ask and I just put my own take on it. Hope everyone enjoys.

Things to help you understand this story better:

(Boyfriend-Girlfriend/Dating for 2 years/Harry stays over at your place a lot/You ate something different than Harry/Dunkirk Harry era)

(wish that photo was really Harry but unfortunately its not. dead give away by the hand :( )

Harry and yourself decided to order Chinese take-out for a at-home date night. You both scoffed down the tasty food while sitting on the sofa watching romantic comedies. Once you finished eating, you and Harry cuddled together on the sofa under a warm fluffy blanket. You laying on your back and Harry laying on his tummy between your legs, with his head resting on your boobs. While focusing on the film, you run your small fingers in his brown curls and he relaxes into your touch, letting out content sighs.

About an hour after eating, Harry becomes restless on top of you. Before, he was laying peacefully, but now he's squirming every few seconds. "You alright babe?" you question down to Harry on your chest.

"Mhmm my stomachs starting to hurt." he replies truthfully. He's unsure the cause but his stomach is swirling and his heart rate is picking up at the mere thought of having to be sick. Especially the thought of being sick at his girlfriends house during the at-home date you had planed. He doesn't want to ruin it by getting sick.

"Oh m'sorry. Do you think it was the Chinese food?" you speak remorsefully.

"I don't know but I don't want to be sick," Harry says with a voice crack indicating he's actually getting upset, "and ruin our date night." When he finishes his sentence, he starts softly sobbing into your chest.

"Hey, hey, Harry," you say sternly but still in your caring voice, "you would not be ruining our date night. You can't help if your feel sick. Do you maybe want to go sit in the bathroom so you're closer to the toilet?"

Harry just nods his head and you help him stand up from his position on your chest and onto his barley stable feet. Then you guide him to your downstairs hall bathroom because its the closest bathroom to your living room. You walk Harry up to the toilet and help him kneel down in front and you squat down behind him. "I feel so sick y/n!" Harry moans out through shallow breaths.

"It's gonna be okay Harry. I'm right here. It's okay to be sick. I won't be mad." you reassure your boyfriend so he knows he doesn't have to keep in his sick for your sake and so he'll feel better. Because you know undoubtedly he has food poisoning from the Chinese food he ate earlier and if he keeps the toxins in his body, he will just feel sicker and sicker.

Harry's back arches over the toilet as he lets out a sickly sounding gag. You grimace at the noise but know you must keep it together to take care of him and comfort him. He's breathing rather heavy with his mouth hanging open and saliva dripping out into the water. "Shhh babe, just relax and throw up. Your tummy will feel so much better after." you gently coo in his ear. You have one hand rubbing circles on his muscular back and one hand pushing back his curly bangs that's falling in his face. He lets out a harsh dry heave and it follows with a long stream of vomit exiting out his mouth and splattering in the toilet water. You have to close your eyes to not be sick yourself.

In-between spells of emptying his stomach, Harry mutters, "You can leave me in here alone. Don't want you seeing me like this." He is absolutely crazy to think you'd leave him in such a vulnerable state. You love Harry and him being sick doesn't stray you away from being by his side in such a situation.

"Harry, I am not leaving you. I don't care if you're sick. You've seen me sick many times and took care of me each of those times. So I'm taking care of you." you calmly say back. Honestly, Harry feels so sick that he doesn't try and argue with you. If he's being truthful, he's actually thankful you're with him, comforting him, because he hates being sick alone. He may not admit that out loud but its true. Something else that happens when Harry's sick, alone or with someone there with him, he gets emotional. An uncontrollable emotion that follows during or after getting sick. One thing he hates most about this situation right now is looking weak in front of you. He's always so strong and being this vulnerable in your eyes suck.

What Harry doesn't know is that you like this side of him. Not the sick version of course but the weak side. It shows he isn't perfect and you honestly don't think you could even date someone who puts themselves out as such.

Harry forcefully throws up a few more times until he's just dry heaving with nothing more to expel. "I think you're done babe." you tell Harry softly as he's dry heaving with no results.

Harry just shakes his head weakly and replies, "I still feel sick though. My stomach hurts so bad." Tears are rolling down his face and his hands that grip the sides of the toilet seat are slightly shaking.

"I know but I think the toilet is making you feel more sick." You reach over him to flush his puke down the toilet so he doesn't have to look at it a minute longer. Harry sits up straight and turns his head back slowly to look at you. This is the first time you have seen his face clearly since he's gotten sick tonight and the first thing you notice is how red his eyes are, probably from all the gagging and dry heaving, and you see the wetness of his cheeks due to crying. Along with the bit of vomit that his on the corner of his pink lips and line of sweat on his forehead. You feel horrible for him. You'd hate to be in his position but almost wish the roles were reversed, just to take his discomfort away. That's how much you love him. You'd do just about anything for Harry. Even if that means take his food poisoning away from him and have it yourself.

You reach for some toilet paper and rip a piece off to wipe his mouth clean. While wiping his vomit covered mouth, Harry just sits and stares at you. He feels so little right now. Almost like he's a small child who's just been sick and their mum is cleaning them up. Even though Harry is embarrassed he got sick on what was supposed to be a lovely date night where you both ate non contaminated food, watched film after film, trying not to fall asleep, or maybe had some romantic intimacy at the end of the night, he actually feels happy right now. Not happy his stomach is upset but happy he got lucky enough to have a caring girlfriend that is by his side during his ugliest moments. He thinks he may have just fell more in love with you. Seeing how compassionate you are towards him when he's sick.

When you finish wiping around his mouth and a little bit of nasty drainage from his nose, Harry becomes emotional again. Like stated previously, he always gets quite emotional when he's sick but that's not the only cause of his emotions right now. He is also crying because he's thinking about how much he truly loves you and how he never thought he'd find someone with your level of compassion.

You throw away the soiled tissue and pull Harry forward so you can embrace him in a warm hug. You don't really understand why he's crying so much. Is it because his stomach is still hurting or he's embarrassed? "Why are you crying Harry?" you question him then continue, "It's alright. I'll give you medicine to make you feel better. Don't worry about that."

While rubbing both hands up and down his sweaty back, Harry says through soft sobs, "I just love you so much. How did I get so lucky. I've had partners in the past to push me away when I was sick and you didn't. You stayed and took care of me." He lifts his head so he can view your face when he mutters out the rest. "I'm gonna marry you one day you know. Want to call you my wife. Want to have lots of babies with you. Be with you till I'm a hundred. Promise I do."

His words have brought tears to your eyes. Knowing how grateful Harry is that you're taking care of him when he's sick means so much. You didn't think twice before helping him when he said he felt sick, so it must be the true love you feel for this man crying in your hold. With a shaky smile and watery eyes, you look at him in his glossy green eyes and say, "I would kiss you right now but I have a feeling your breath smells like puke so I'll pass. Love you so much Harry and of course I took care of you. I love you and that's what you do for the people you love. Take care of them in their weakest moments."

You hold him for a few more minutes on the bathroom floor until your bum gets sore from the hard tiles. You help Harry stand to his feet and walk him to your bedroom located up the stairs of your house. Then you help him slide into bed and tell him you'll be right back with some medicine and a glass of water.

A few minutes later, you come back with the upset stomach tablets and water for Harry to take and ease his turning tummy. Once he's taken the medicine, you go grab your mini trash bin in your bathroom and place it beside the bed incase he feels like he's gonna throw up again. Then you turn all the lights off and crawl under the warm blankets with your boyfriend. Without hesitation, Harry scoots over and places his head on your chest. He's past the point of being scared to look weak. He just wants comfort and the one thing that brings him the most is you. The love of his life. "Thank you for taking care of me tonight." Harry whispers with a hoarse voice.

"You don't need to thank me babe. I was glad to be there for you. I know you don't like getting sick and I was happy to at least make the experience a little bit better. Now go to sleep and if you feel sick again, the bin is on the floor beside the bed for you. Also don't be afraid to wake me up if you feel nauseous. I want to be there to comfort you." you reply back in a whispered tone. You kiss the top of his messy curls and Harry relaxes into your hold on him. Feeling safe and secure in your loving arms. Then you both fall fast asleep.

Thankfully Harry didn't get sick anymore through-out the night and the medicine you gave him seemed to have worked. The next day he was just exhausted form exerting so much energy being sick the day before but other than that, his stomach felt calm. You made him homemade chicken soup and cuddled him in bed, watching his favorite movies all day. Loving every second you get to spend with Harry before he has to leave and go on his world tour in a months time.

MASTERLIST & My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

[jediken0bi]

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

-

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.

[tacticaldiary]

Heyaa! I really love your stories 😭 Can i request for Osamu? He had a close friend, a girl, that likes him and plans on confessing to him. One day, she told him about her feelings then someone (a girl) hugged him and the friend was like "since when?". Ugh i'm so simp for him 😭 it's ur choice author-chan if u want the ending to be angst or fluff 🥺 thank youu!

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Here it is!

It’s Always Been You

Pairing: Reader x Miya Osamu

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Confessions don’t always go smoothly. It wasn’t the confession either of them expected, but they’re glad it turned out well. Both have two years of mutual pining to make up for. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was it. She wills her hands to stop shaking, shoving them into her pockets. She was going to do this and this time she wouldn’t chicken out like last time. And the time before that. And the time before that...

Shaking her head to get rid of the thoughts, she takes a deep breath and leans against the wall next to their usual lunch spot. She was going to do this. It was going to be fine. She tries reassuring herself. Atsumu had told her that his brother reciprocated her feelings. He had practically forced her to admit her crush to him, after pestering her for weeks.

He was annoying, but had good intentions at heart. Y/N lets out a breathy, nervous laugh at the memory of his smug face, claiming that he ‘knew it all along’.

She had known the twins for over 3 years now, and they had clicked instantly. They were close friends and spent a lot of time together, in and out of school. Atsumu was the one she met first, but Osamu was the twin that had really caught her eye. Over the past few years she had slowly started developing a crush on him. Y/N found Osamu endearing. She felt her heart beating a little faster everytime he would grin at her, or when he went off on a tangent about his current favourite food. She couldn’t help falling for him.

Y/N had put this off for so long because she was so afraid of ruining their friendship, but she was tired of pretending now. If he didn’t feel the same way, she would try and get over it. She wouldn’t let their friendship collapse like that, even if she had wanted to be more than friends.

With those thoughts in mind, Y/N steels herself, and pushes herself off the wall turning the corner. Her breath catches in her throat when she sees him standing there, looking around a little confused as to why no one was there yet. When he spots her, Osamu’s face lights up with an easy smile which Y/N returns nervously.

She walks up to him, stopping a little bit away. He raises an eyebrow when she stays silent.

“You’re actin’ weird. What’s wrong?” He asks bluntly tilting his head to the side.

Y/N feels a blush creep up her face. “I-Nothing’s wrong!” she says quickly. “I just...I have something to tell you.” It comes out in a rush and if it were not for the curious look on his face, Y/N would’ve thought he hadn’t understood.

Nodding slowly, he waits for her to continue. She takes a deep breath and lets it out.

“I like you. A lot. I have since the moment I met you.” She can practically feel her face burning. “You make me really happy and I find myself wanting to be more than friends with you.” She holds her breath after speaking, her gaze fixed to the ground. There’s a few seconds of excruciating silence.

“Y/N” His soft voice reaches her ears and she finds the courage to finally look up.

Y/N can’t quite make out his expression. He doesn't look upset...but he doesn't look happy either.

“Y/N...I-” he speaks slowly, not quite processing that this was finally, actually happening, that his crush felt the same way. Y/N hangs on to every word, bracing herself for rejection. She’s spared from it though, when Osamu is cut off by a shrill, obnoxious voice.

“Osamu! There you are!” A girl Y/N recognises from one of her classes bounds up to them waving at the guy with a bright smile on her face. Osamu looks annoyed for a split second, before the girl invades his personal space and latches onto his arm, holding onto his bicep.

Y/N feels her heart sink, frowning as she glances between the two, her gaze lingering on the girl's hand on his arm. What was she doing here?

Osamu, noticing her questioning glance, attempts to subtly break free of the girl's hold but fails, as her grip tightens. Shaking his head a little, he scoffs under his breath. This girl, Mika, if he remembered correctly, had been bothering him for the past week, waiting outside his classes to talk to him. She had never been this bold before. Needless to say, Osamu was a little uncomfortable.

“Fancy seeing you here! I thought I asked you to meet me behind the gym, but this works too, I guess.” She laughs, a shrill sound. Osamu had remembered her request. He also remembers rejecting it, letting her know that he wasn't interested. This girl was too stubborn for her own good.

Y/N was heartbroken. There was clearly something going on between the two, and if it was what she thought... Had Atsumu prompted her to confess when he knew his brother was...no, that was too cruel, even for Atsumu. Was it?

“Oi, get off-” he hisses in a low voice to the girl, who just giggles and ignores him. He’s cut off by Y/N’s voice.

“Since when?”

“What?” Something tugs at his heart, seeing the sadness in her eyes as she looks at him, head on.

“Since when were you two...” she gestures between them. The other girl, Mika smiles brightly.

“Since about a month!” No. That wasn’t right?

“A month?” she asks, her voice hollow.

“Mhm! Osamu here helped me with my English once and that was that!”

“Oh.” he voice cracks. She clears her throat and manages a watery smile. “‘Samu never told me. I wish you the best of luck then.” With that she turns on her heel and walks away rather quickly, willingly her tears to not fall for a few more moments. Until she was alone, at least.

Osamu is stunned. What just happened? He’d finally gotten a confession from his long-time crush...and now she was walking away. By the shaking of her shoulders, he realises she’s crying? What the hell was going on. Glancing at the girl, still holding on to his arm, he snaps back to reality with a start.

“Oi, what the hell!?” he rips his arm away from her grasp, glaring at her. “What are you tryin’ to do?” The girl just shakes her head and pouts.

“You said you’d meet me behind the gym. I had a whole confession planned, then that bitch comes along and ruins everything.” she rolls her eyes.

With that, Osamu steps closer to her threateningly. “What the fuck did you just say? She’s better than you’ll ever be. The next time you try and pull shit like this again I’ll-”

“Woah there!” Osamu stumbles as he’s yanked backwards by none other than his brother. Atsumu’s a little startled when he catches the furious look on his twin's face. Glancing between the two, he makes a very useful observation.

“That’s not Y/N.” he tilts his head in confusion. He thought Osamu had been yelling to Y/N and had decided to intervene, but that clearly wasn’t Y/N.

“Yeah, no shit ‘Tsumu.”

“Where is she? Did she do it?”

“If you mean confess, then yeah. She did.” he shoots Mika a glare. Ignoring Atsumu’s confused questions, he looks back at where Y/N had left. He had to find her, had to make this right. Osamu pushes past his brother, leaving him to deal with Mika and sets off to find her. As he walks, he curses his luck. He’s been pining over her for almost two years. Two years he had to watch her smile light up the room. He had to bear the annoying butterflies in his stomach for two whole years, only to find out that she felt the same way?

He wasn’t about to let this go to shit this easily. Osamu weaves through the hallways and stops in front of her classroom. His heart drops when he hears small, watery hiccups from inside. Pushing the door open he sees Y/N with her head on the desk, staring dejectedly out the window. She freezes as she hears the door open, her shoulders visibly tensing.

He slowly walks over to her and sits on the desk next to her silently. After a few beats of silence, Y/N breaks the silence.

“‘Samu?” her voice is a little shaky and Osamu wants to kick himself for being the cause of it.

He nods, before realising she can’t see him. “Yeah. It’s me.” He sees her take a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling, before she sits up, turning towards him. It’s very obvious she’s been crying, the red rim around her puffy eyes giving her away. The sleeve of her uniform is damp with tears.

“Did you need something-”

“I like you too.” he blurts out, cutting himself off. He winces at his bluntness. He had imagined he would tell her those words when being out on a romantic walk in the park or after having dinner together or-or something, anything other than this.

She looks at him in disbelief. “You-...you do?” she frowns and Osamu wants to do nothing but smooth out the slight furrow of her eyebrows with his hand. He sighs and moves so he’s kneeling next to her desk, looking up at her. He explains how Mika had done that because she wanted him to accept her confession, and how he wanted nothing to do with her.

“It’s you. It’s always been you.” He mutters out the last part, the tip of his ears dusted a deep red. “Sorry ya had to-”

He cuts himself off with a grunt as Y/N launches herself towards him, knocking him off balance. He narrowly misses bumping into the desk behind him and wraps his arms around her waist to steady the both of them.

“You’re an idiot.” He feels her mumble into the crook of his neck.

“Hey, you held off confessing too. I’m not the only idiot here.” He tightens his arms around her, happiness welling inside him. He couldn’t quite believe that this was actually happening.

“We’re both idiots then.” She giggles, pulling away to look at him.

“Whatever ya say.” he leans up, bumping their noses together playfully, grinning at her giggle. He admires the hue of pink dusting her cheek bones and realises that he had missed two years of this.

Well, they could make up for lost time starting now.

Requests are Open and Welcome

[justcafewriter]

The Warmth of Family

Pairing   : Aizawa Shouta x Fem! Reader

Genre    : Fluff

Warning : None

Prompt  : Fireplace

Summary : Just as Shouta enjoys the winter night with you and a special someone in front of the fireplace he set up, he decides to take your  relationship to another level.

Word Count: 1.4K

a/n : this is a collaboration that I do with some friends from haikyuu simp discord. You can check the -> masterlist <- for other stories. Also, a special thanks for my sweet friend Clio (@akaashirin ) and my twinnie, Sky (@moonlitspring ) for helping me beta-ing and improves this story, ily Clio and Sky ❤.

"The dinner was delicious, thank you!" Aizawa hears your words while you're busy moving the dirty plates from the dining table into the sink.

"You're welcome… It's just a simple dish actually." He replies after he put the used glasses into the very same sink.

You smile at the rough looking guy in front of you before you pull him closer and kiss his lips. There, you can feel how he smiles upon your action before he kisses you back.

"Uhm.." Both  you and Aizawa break the kiss before you look at the source of that voice who's suddenly 'interrupting' you. "Sorry, I just want to help by bringing this."

Smiles are forming on both of your faces as you see a little girl with long pale blue-gray hair standing not too far from you. Her red irises move back and forth between you and Aizawa which makes her already cute face look way cuter.

"Eri-chan, thanks for helping out." You say and you invite her to get closer to you. "Let me put this in the sink okay?" You say  once she's standing in front of you. You take the plates and cutlery from Eri and she nods her head, a big grin appearing  on her beautiful face as you thanked her.

"Remember to only bring your plates and cutlery, okay?" Aizawa says to the little girl.

"Okay! I might hurt myself if I bring the non-melamine one right?" Eri states, repeating what Aizawa has told her about helping after the meals.

You look at the scene in front of you, a warm feeling creeping inside your heart as you feel like you would melt into the sensation of seeing Aizawa and Eri;how they look like a father and daughter, and how you wish that you are the mother.

"Y/N?" Aizawa's voice calls you back from your thoughts. You look at the tired looking man before you put on a warm smile and let out a single hum. "Eri and I will be waiting in the living room." He says and you nod in response.

You continue to wash the dirty plates as you look outside through the small window in front of you, admiring the snow that fell from the sky. It's the time of the year when Aizawa and you will spend the night cuddling in each other's arms after a nice dinner, in front of a warm fireplace. You think that this time is gonna be a bit different, as you  have another special guest accompanying both of you in this special time.

You heaved a satisfactory sigh as you put the last plates into the cabinet, then you dry your hands before  walking towards  the living room. There you see Aizawa sitting on the big couch in front of the fireplace and Eri laying flat on her stomach not too far from the couch as she draws something on a  piece of paper.

"Thanks for washing the dishes." Aizawa said after he senses your presence. You walk faster, saying it's not a problem before you squat beside Eri, asking her what she's drawing.

"It's a secret." Eri giggles and tries to hide her drawing. "I'll show you once it's done!" She says again, a wide grin appeared on her face.

"Okay! I'll be there with Shouta." You respond while you pat Eri's hair. She hums happily before she continues to draw.

You get up after that and walk towards Aizawa. You look at that man before you slip inside his embrace, resting your head on his toned chest as he wraps his arms  around your body.

"Hmm.. this feels so nice." You state. "I missed you. Both of us have been so busy."

"I missed you too." Aizawa replies, one of his hands caressing your back while the other one rubs your cheek softly before he plants a kiss on your crown.

Both of you stay still in that position, as if  saying that you both feel blissful in  each other's company. Your mind feels at ease as you listen to Aizawa's heartbeat and Aizawa feels like he's finally home as he's cuddling you like this. Everything about you screamed home to him; your scent, your voice, your smile, everything.

"I'm done!" You heard a joyful scream from Eri as she sits down and now she's looking at her drawing.

"Oh, is it time already?" You heard Aizawa say before he unwrapped his arms around you so he could get up from the couch.

"What time?" You ask, a confused look decorating your face.

"Y/N-Sensei please wait here." Eri says before she's running into her room and there you heard she called for Aizawa.

You were so confused. But after 10 minutes had passed you finally saw Eri finally come out from her room, wearing a cute Santa costume and in her hand you saw that piece of paper which she was drawing earlier.

"Whoa Eri-chan you look so cute!!!" You squeal as soon as you see Eri. "Can I take a picture?" Eri nodded and you began to take her picture. You saw how cute she looks and you can't help but to take a few more pictures after she gives you permission.

"Y/N, you act like a paparazzi now." You heard Aizawa's voice and as you're about to protest, you saw him standing not too far from Eri, his hair is already tied in a bun and you give him a questioning look.

"Do you need to go somewhere?" You ask.

"No?"

"Okay…" You say, still looking at him with a confused look as he's walking to you and finally sits beside you on the couch. He then tapped on the empty spot in between his legs, asking you to move there so you did, you sit there, your back facing him and you rest your head on his left shoulder.

"Are you guys trying to do something?" You ask which makes Eri let out a soft giggle, amused on how confused you are.

"Yes, we are. I've told you that I'll show you what I drew." Eri says and you feel like a light bulb appeared on the top of your head.

Eri then walks forward so you and Aizawa can see what she drew.

She's holding that paper up and you can see three figures inside the picture, one adult man, one adult woman and a little girl. They're all cuddling in front of the fireplace and on top, the word "FAMILY" was written with a green crayon.

Your heart filled with mixed emotions, is Eri missing her family? Did you and Aizawa not give her enough care?

"This is Aizawa-Sensei, this is Y/N-Sensei and this is Eri." You heard her explain and you suddenly feel tears starting to form at the corner of your eyes. Aizawa is now holding your hands, playing with your fingers and rubbing them in a comforting manner.

"Eri-chan, that is so cute." You say as you feel overwhelmed by her action. "I'm glad that you're thinking of me as your family."

"Aizawa-Sensei said that we're gonna be a real family now." Eri states and as she's saying it, you feel a cold metal lingering on your ring finger.

You look at it and find a simple diamond ring decorating your finger beautifully. Your heart is beating so fast and you look at Aizawa, a sly smirk hiding the nervous feeling he felt.

"I told Eri that you're the one who will decide." Aizawa says.. "Whether we can be a real family or not."

Tears start running down your cheeks, you can see how confused Eri looks when she realizes that you're crying. But then you open your arms wide, inviting Eri to come into your embrace while you're still inside Aizawa's warm hug. With a smile beautifully decorating Eri's face, she runs into your embrace.

"So, Y/N-Sensei, what's your answer?" Eri asks.

"I don't think you should call me Y/N-Sensei from now on, because you need to learn to call me Mom instead." You answer which only makes Eri's eyes shine brightly. 

You feel the hug from Aizawa getting tighter so you look at his direction which only gained a sincere kiss from him. You know that it's his way of thanking you, of telling you that he feels thankful for your answer and he's glad that you're accepting his simple proposal.

"Thank you." He says after he broke the kiss.

You smile while you're looking at the love of your life before you say, "I'm the one who feels so thankful, Shouta."

collab taglist: @animatedarchives @azxmii @yamaguchi-stan

[aestheticallyholland]

NEVER NOT | THE START . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 2.2k words

WANNA BE ON THE TAGLIST? feel free to comment on this post if you wanna be added to this series' taglist to get notified for updates !

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"Life doesn't have to be so planned. Just roll with it and let it happen." — Jenny Han, To All the Boys I've Loved Before

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[ late october of 2015 . . . ]

HIGH SCHOOL was not the life that Y/N imagined it to be.

She always thought high school would be the best years of her life rather than studying for upcoming exams and instead of going to parties with a bunch of people she would go along with.

But that was the opposite of what she thought.

High school was more demanding than it was when she was in middle school. When it comes to school, projects are piling up making her mind going crazy. When it comes to relationships with people, they wouldn't get along with her.

Especially when her long-time enemy came into the picture.

"You really had the guts to walk past by my locker, Y/L/N." Camille started and crossed her arms as she saw Y/N walking in the hallway. Y/N would just roll her eyes and shrug off what she said.

"It's not just me who walks near your locker, Camille. I hope you put that in mind." Y/N said and gave her a fake smile.

Camille clenched her hands and she wanted to pull Y/N's hair but was stopped when her boyfriend hugged her from behind. Camille's face suddenly softened and gave a smile to him.

"What are you up to, babe?" He asked and let go of Camille and stood beside her.

"I was just telling Y/N how her boots go with her outfit today, babe," Camille said and looked at Y/N who just chuckled at what she said.

"And I think she has the best outfit of the day than you, Camille." Erika showed up and said that to her cousin while chewing on her gum and grinned.

Camille became furious again until her boyfriend placed an arm around her shoulders before anything happens and he spoke.

"We should go before it starts to bell." He said and gave a smile to her and Camille nodded in agreement and gave Y/N and Erika one last glare before walking away. Tom looked back at Y/N for a while and turned back to walk away. Y/N swore she saw this but shrugged it off.

Y/N looked at Erika who was still chewing on her gum and smiled. "You always show up when Camille would talk to me. Such a best friend." Y/N said and that made Erika chuckle. "I can't believe you would say things like that to your cousin."

"She isn't the best cousin, you know. Besides, she fights you so might as well fight her back." Erika said.

Erika was always the one who would stand by Y/N ever since Camille started fighting her. But before Erika, Camille and Y/N were actually best friends until a spin-the-bottle game would ruin it.

Y/N knew how Camille had a crush on the one and only Tom Holland, who is now her current boyfriend. She invited her friends and including Y/N and Tom and they played the game, spin the bottle.

Camille would always wish that it would land on Tom so that she would get a kiss from him and it so happened that when it was Y/N's turn, it landed on him. They had no choice since it was the rule of the game and when Y/N's and Tom's lips touched, Camille became so angry and that was the start of them being enemies.

After that incident, Camille fought Y/N and Erika saw this and eventually rescued Y/N from her evil cousin. From that day on, Y/N and Erika became best friends until now. Y/N didn't even know how and why Camille and Tom got together.

"Do you want to watch movies tonight? I've got Marvel ones." Y/N heard Erika spoke while they were walking.

"I think I should just stay at home tonight. My dad is cooking for us tonight." Y/N said and she saw Erika pouted. "Come on, we had a movie marathon last night and you slept, Erika." Y/N continued and that made Erika chuckle.

"Forget about the movie. Just look at who's in front of us." Erika elbowed her and Y/N looked in the direction where she was looking and stopped walking. You felt everything was in stop motion.

Aiden.

He sat there with a guitar pressed to his chest and his veins popping from his neck as he was singing. He was your current crush and at the same time one of your friends in school. In fact, he was also your neighbor. Every time you would be around him, butterflies inside your stomach would flatter and your heart would beat fast.

Y/N felt herself blush and she wanted to get away from him. She grabbed Erika's hand and quickly ran the opposite way.

"Hey!" Erika squealed as she pulled her and ran.

They didn't know that Aiden noticed Y/N's actions and just chuckled and smiled. He continued to pluck his fingers on the strings and sang again.

Y/N stopped running when she reached the hallway where there were fewer people around and tried to catch her breath.

"You act so weirdly when Aiden is around. You're giving him signs, girl." Erika said, who tried to catch her breath.

It was true. Ever since Y/N and Aiden became friends, she had started to have feelings for him and you never knew why. Maybe it was the way he sings? Maybe it was the way he is when he's with her? It just came to her.

"Just go tell him, Y/N," Erika said and that made Y/N jolt her head up.

"No way. I don't want our friendship to get ruined because of this feeling I have for him. Plus, it's just a crush. Nothing else." Y/N said.

Erika shook her head. "Whatever you say, Y/N." That was all she can say.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The rest of the day was pretty much the same. Going to different kinds of classrooms for each subject every hour. Y/N had no one to talk to since Erika would be indifferent to classes too. There was also one class where she had to be classmates with Camille. She would glare at her every time she looked back and she wouldn't mind it.

Y/N walked in the hallway with people scattered all over the place. She walked towards her locker and hoping that Camille appears and have another talk again.

A vibrate came from her phone and she got her phone from the pocket and saw a message from Erika:

Y/N rolled her eyes after she read the message and turned off her phone and placed it back in her pocket. She was about to walk away when someone stood in front of her and leaned on her locker. She looked up to see who it is and suddenly her heart started beating fast.

"Aiden." She mumbled and he just smiled at her.

"I'll take you home, Y/N." He said.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"So you're telling me, that you saw Erika with Harrison Osterfield. Harrison as in Tom Holland's best friend?" You asked Aiden as you were walking on the sidewalk.

"Yep, definitely him," Aiden answered and you were still in shock.

"That girl really has some explaining to do." You said and Aiden can only laugh at you.

Then silence came in but you still walked together.

"It's been a month since we last talked. How was your summer, by the way?" Aiden suddenly spoke up and that made you jump a little.

"It's alright. I had to be stuck with dad in a road trip camp while Aria was away. But at least we had s' mores there." You said.

"Well, Aria just came back actually—" Aiden said, but realized what he said and stopped talking. You looked at him in confusion when you heard what he said.

"Aria is here?" You asked then suddenly someone familiar called you from afar.

"Y/N!" You looked at the side and saw your sister running towards you. A big smile appeared on your lips and you ran towards her.

"Aria!"

You gave each other a hug then both of you fell to the ground but you were still laughing.

"It's been a month!" Aria said while clinging on to Y/N.

"I know!" Y/N answered.

"Okay, you kids. Don't do that outside. Go in now." They heard their dad's voice from the door and walked down towards them.

Y/N and her sister stood up and dusted off the grass from her clothes.

When Y/N looked back, she saw her sister hugging Aiden and she also saw the action that would make her heart drop. It was her sister and Aiden kissing.

They let go of each other and saw Y/N just standing there in front of them.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, Y/N," Aria said. Y/N never told her sister about her feelings for Aiden or any crush she has.

Y/N could still feel the pain that she was feeling right now but she didn't want to show her sister.

"I-I don't mind." She let out a small smile and asked. "Since when?"

Aria and Aiden looked at each other then looked at Y/N again.

"Since I was out. We were calling and talking with each other throughout the summer." Aria said and Aiden could only nod in agreement.

You were too late. A voice in Y/N's head said but that didn't stop you from giving both of them hugs to let her sister see that she was okay with it.

"I'm happy for you, guys."

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Your sister came and then did what with Aiden?!"

Y/N held the phone away from her ear when Erika shouted through the call. She placed it back to her ear and sighed.

"They are together, Erika. There's nothing I could do about it." Y/N answered.

"Well, you did have the chance to tell him. They kept this a secret for like a month and you never knew about it." Erika said.

"Still hurts but I'll be fine. I'll just have to get used to seeing them together as a couple." Y/N's voice broke and felt a small tear in her eyes.

Erika wanted to go to Y/N's house and give her a hug. She didn't want her best friend to be heartbroken. "You'll find someone better, babe." That was all she can say to Y/N.

"Thank, I guess," Y/N said. She knew she should just stop crying and accept the fact that they could never be together. She stopped her tears and asked Erika something out of her curiosity.

"How was the date with Osterfield, Erika?"

Y/N heard a thing dropped from the call before Erika could answer.

"How did you know it was him?" Erika asked nervously.

"Aiden told me. Apparently, he saw you guys together going out of the campus. You can't hide this from me, Erika." Y/N chuckled after she said this and did a fake gasp. "Are you two also secretly dating each other and didn't tell me?"

"What? No! Of course not. He just asked me out today and we went to dinner together. There was really nothing between us. I didn't wanna say no. Plus, it was burgers and fries!" Erika defended herself and that just made Y/N laugh.

"Alright, alright, babe. I won't bother you with your love life." Y/N said.

"Y/N? Pasta is ready!" Y/N heard her dad say from downstairs.

"I have to go now, Erika," Y/N said.

"Don't cry anymore, okay? It's not worth it." Erika said and Y/N smiled.

"I know." She said and ended the phone. Y/N placed her phone down and gave a heavy sigh.

This was just another long day.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Another day, another school day. Y/N achieved to not cry so much after dinner last night. Now, she was just walking in the same hallway.

As she was walking with her things pressed to her chest, she suddenly bumped into a person and her things dropped to the ground and herself as well.

"Hey!" Y/N shouted and looked up to see who she bumped to. Her eyes widen to see who it was.

It was the one and only, Tom Holland.

"You really should watch where you're going, Y/L/N." Y/N heard him say and his face was stern.

"You should watch where you're going, Holland," Y/N said and got all the things that fell to the ground. Y/N could hear murmuring from the people but she didn't mind them.

Y/N gave a glare to Tom and walked away from him. She had a feeling that he was going through something right now but that didn't stop her from being mad at him.

Can this day get any better?

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires

[katsukis-sad-angel]

A little scenario that popped into my head :)

Possible tw panic

Your period was generally kind to you.

Timing wise.

You'd wake up in the morning, get out of bed and KNOW it was time by the sticky feeling of movement inside of you. She never soiled your favorite white sheets oh no, she never started in the middle of the day when she knew you didn't have tampons with you, she was patient and you appreciated it.

The lack of laundry was perfectly fine with you.

Now, here you were laying in bed after school, and wishing, no begging for death as she angrily tears everything down and removes the nice little egg she prepared just for you with a vengeance the even your hot-headed boyfriend couldn't match.

You whimpered and rolled over again, squirming in agony. Trembling fingers increased the temperature on you heating pad and you wiped away the moisture collecting in your eyes.

The pain only increases and you whine, clenching your fists in the sheets you had meticulously piled on yourself. It was getting harder to breathe and the seconds ticked past.

You began to panic, hands desperately wiping at your eyes to dry your tears, and you rolled over once more.

Katsuki entered his apartment like he usually did on this day of the week, one of the two days he got off early so he could spend some time with you.

He'd stopped at the store on the way home to grab some of your favorite snacks and set the bags on the table.

Hmm.

Usually when he came home on his early days you always catapulted yourself into his arms the moment he entered the kitchen, but today your pretty smile and warm hug was no where to be found.

Sighing, he took out his earbuds.

The second he did so, the sound of your desperate cries reached him and he immediately feared the worst.

He was at your shared bedroom door in moments and slammed it open. You screamed in terrified surprise and burrowed under the blankets to hide from the loud noise.

"Shit..." The blonde swore, realizing that, number one: the door handle caved the drywall in when he kicked the door open and number two: he had effectively scared the shit out of you.

Pursing his lips, he approached your little nest made from chex mix bags, blankets, and romance manga and began to whisper to you and rub your back.

"Heyy, hey it's okay princess. I didn't mean to scare you dummy, I heard you crying and thought someone was hurting you. Come out and let me see you."

Simply hearing his voice made everything better.

Pushing layer after layer of cotton and polyester off of yourself, you managed to stick your messy head through an opening and find his lovely ruby eyes.

Katsuki cupped your damp cheek with one hand and with the other he pushed more blankets off of you until he could pull you up into his arms.

You whined again, pawing at his T-shirt.

"Hurts," you whimper.

"How bad?" He responds, tone as soft and calm as possible.

"Really really bad a-and all of the ibuprofen is gone."

"I'm sorry." Katsuki thumbed away each tear that fell and kissed you tenderly, "I just bought more before I came home. You want some?"

"Mhmm."

"Do you want me to carry you to get it or would you rather wait right here?"

"Carry me?"

He gave you one of his rare smiles and hoisted you up so your legs could cross around his waist.

As he moved out of the bedroom and into the main area of the house, you found yourself staring up at him from your refuge on his sweet-smelling shoulder.

He was so pretty... you couldnt imagine how you looked right then after an entire day of crying and eating.

"I love you." You murmur, tracing the curve of his collarbone, eyes still trained on his perfect features.

He blinked, "I love you too princess." He replied before blowing a raspberry on your exposed neck.

You giggled, but groaned right after because it still hurt to laugh.

Katsuki set you on the chilly counter and gave you the little orange pill and a glass of water. You drank it gratefully and then he picked you up again and carried you back to your room.

Once you were laying in bed with him, your back to his built chest, his hands (with just the right amount of pressure and heat) rubbed your lower stomach while he placed little kisses on your neck and face to make you smile.

"Feeling better?"

You nod and lean into him a bit more, happy to have such luck in finding your special someone.

"Good."

His voice was so soothing...

"Get some rest babygirl."

...

Do I wish that was me right now? Um yeah. My bitch of a uterus is actually trying to kill me I swear.

Instead I'm at SCHOOL🤢

I hope you enjoyed❤ I wrote this on mobile so it's kinda trash

Masterlist

[avnkin]

undrunk - jj.m

Warnings: angst, underage drinking, mentions of sex, kinda toxic relationship & mentions of substances.

Word Count: 2.5k

This fic is based of the song Undrunk by Fletcher

gif is by the talented @toesure <3333

Wish I could get a little un-drunk so I could un-call you

At five in the morning, I would un-fuck you.

JJ Maybank was your ex, the two of you had broken up almost a month ago but still always managed to find each other when you were intoxicated, ending up wrapped in each other’s arms at late hours of the night. One of you always being gone the next morning.

He’d broken up with you because he felt he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, but it was borderline impossible for the two of you to cut off all communication.

When you were together a part of you always knew this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, but you loved him so you started finding excuses for all of the things he did and the stuff he put you through.

At one point you had even started asking yourself, what did I do that made him leave? It wasn’t right but you couldn’t help it, the manipulative thoughts clouded your mind like a drug.

To go from being so involved with him on such an intimate level, to then, becoming a complete stranger and having no part of his life was a pain you couldn’t even begin to describe.

The first time it had happened was after almost three weeks of being apart. You weren’t doing any better from the day he’d ended it, your tear-stained cheeks stuck on the screen before you, when suddenly what you thought was a ray of sunshine lighting up the darkness that had consumed you appeared.

He’d knocked on your window like he’d done so many times before but this time it was different. He didn’t tell you how much he loved you as he hungrily kissed you and tore your clothes off.

He barely even looked at you as he spent the night with you, making sure the two of you were on the same page when he finished, stating that he didn’t want to be in a relationship again but wanted to continue sleeping together and you had agreed even though every part of your body was telling you not to.

You loved him and thought that being with him in some way was better than not being with him at all.

But you knew it was only so long until one of you was bound to break this endless cycle of running back to each other.

Honestly, this party's over

Everyone here shoulda gone home

But I’m afraid of being sober

As you stumbled home after yet another party, you felt tears well up in the corner of your eyes, having nothing left to distract you, no substance, alcohol, or fling to silence your thoughts about the boy who had held your heart and crushed it.

It was the feeling after you’ve hosted a pregame or a party and everybody’s gone and the only thing that’s left are the wounded soldiers. Just you and your drunken thoughts, swirling around in your head. 

You’d endured this feeling so many times after the breakup and you tried so hard to cover it up with anything you possibly could, but it was like a virus, that just keeps on coming back.

So once again you found yourself standing in front of his window lightly tapping your nail onto it waiting for him to appear and let you in.

When the curtains lifted you felt sane again, seeing his face as he smiled down at you before pushing the window open allowing you to climb in.

His lips were on yours within seconds as he hurriedly went to remove all items of clothing that covered your body, desperate for your touch.

You didn’t fully realize it then but every time he kissed you and touched you it would take out a tiny piece of your heart, knowing that this was all it would ever be.

The morning after you’d woken up in a haze, his ring clad fingers resting on your stomach as he lay peacefully beside you, his blonde hair sprawled all over the pillow beneath him.

‘Fuck’ you thought once memories from the previous night started flooding back into your mind. You carefully lifted his arm off of you and started searching for your clothes, which had been thrown all over the place the previous night.He’d woken up when you’d accidentally tripped over your shoe as you tried to get it on. 

“Shit” you mumbled when he started propping himself up onto his elbows, furrowing his eyebrows at you.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice raspy as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

“Leaving?” 

It was more of a question than an answer but he just shrugged his shoulders turning his back towards you as he continued his slumber. You sighed as you twisted the doorknob, taking one last glance at him before shutting the door and walking out to your car.

So I squeeze out the lime on the ice of my drink

And the juice hits the cuts on my fingers

It still doesn't burn as much as the thought of you

Sarah was throwing a little get together and you had been fine through most of the night, feeling that maybe, just maybe, you were finally starting to get over him. Finally not feeling the need to look at your phone every few minutes to see if he had texted you or go on to his Instagram to see if he had posted a picture of him and another girl.

You’d been helping Sarah gather shot glasses for everyone when you’d accidentally dropped one, cutting your finger as you attempted to pick up the broken pieces of glass sprawled all over the kitchen floor.

Sarah had told you not to worry about it simply grabbing a vacuum and quickly cleaning it up before ushering you into her living room where you all sat in a circle beginning to play truth or drink. 

You stared down at your newly cut finger, watching as the blood trickled down it and into your palm, it hurt like a bitch, but you didn’t pay it any mind, pouring salt onto your backhand smiling up at Sarah as she passed you a shot glass filled to the brim with tequila.

“Alright Y/N, your turn” Topper stared devilishly at you before looking over at Rafe who gave him a wink, furrowing your eyebrows at the silent exchange.

“How many people have you had sex with?” he raised an eyebrow taking a swig off his beer as Rafe gave him a thumbs up causing you to only roll your eyes in response.

“Ew Top seriously?” Sarah huffed crossing her arms over her chest, “you don’t have to answer that” she directed at you, hitting Topper in the back of the head making you giggle.

“Wasn’t going to” you chuckled, licking the salt off your hand and downing the devil's drink, scrunching your face as the liquid burned your throat.

You quickly reached out for one of the lime wedges with the hand you’d cut earlier and as your finger touched it you winced the juice going into your fresh wound the cheers of your friends fading out as you suddenly began to think that not even this burned as much as thinking about him does.

I wish I could un-kiss the room full of strangers

So I could un-spite you, un-lose my temper

But some things you can't undo

And one of them's you.

After a relationship ends everybody goes through a different healing process, for you it was definitely seeking attention from somebody else, needing to feel wanted again, because it momentarily ‘convinced’ you that you were fine.

But you soon realized that no matter what you did or who you kissed no one could compare to JJ, the sad realization hitting you as a boy you didn’t know the name of let his hands wander all over your body.

His touch didn’t send shivers up your spine as JJ’s did and his lips on yours didn’t make you feel butterflies in your stomach.

You just felt empty as he whispered endless compliments in your ear, cutting him off by reconnecting your lips with his, hoping that it would fill the void inside of you.

You wished nothing more than to go back to all the times you’d slept with JJ after you’d broken up and taken it back, wishing you’d never have let him waltz back into your life after he single-handedly destroyed it.

I'm afraid to turn the lights on

I don't wanna face this rebound

Is it weird if I come over?

I want to, but I know that she's around

You couldn’t stop thinking about all the other girls he’d probably slept with by now, doing whatever with whoever.

It was that sick feeling that just kept on coming back, sticking with you from the time you woke up and to the night when your head hit the pillow, “what did he do last night?”

“It doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t care” those were the two things you were mostly battling with, caring but pretending that you didn’t.

One time you’d been hanging out with Kie, she’d invited you to come and eat dinner with her at The Wreck, stating that you’d spent little to no time together since you and JJ had ended things.

You, of course, agreed, driving over to the restaurant, practically running into Kie’s arms as she engulfed you in a tight hug.

The pair of you quickly sat down enjoying a plate of hamburgers and fries as you caught up with each other.

You couldn’t help but notice every time you mentioned JJ she’d tense up, panic settling on her face, always dodging the questions or changing the subject.

“Kie what’s going on?” you finally asked tired of her strange behaviour.

“What do you mean?” she tried to write you off but you wouldn’t let her, pestering her until she finally broke. “Okay fine look I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you this but- uhm... JJ’s been seeing someone.” You froze dropping the food you’d been holding as you stared wide eyed at her, “Wait... I don’t know if there’s actually anything to it- I mean you know him, he’s probably just sleeping with her until he finds someone else, you know?” she tried to comfort you before realising how insensitive that sounded, “Oh shit! No, wait that came out wrong!”

“Kie it’s okay, I don’t care,” you lied, pasting on a fake smile as you grabbed a french fry from her plate and placed it into your mouth.

“A-are you sure?” she hesitantly asked furrowing her eyebrows, not quite believing your words. You only nodded in response and she quickly dropped the subject, thankfully, you knew if you’d had talked about it any longer you would have started crying.

So when you finally arrived home you let your tears fall free, now convinced nothing could fill that void inside you except JJ.

Been through every emotion

Right now, I'm sad and broken

Like the bottles on the floor, but I'm too buzzed to clean 'em up

Self love was something you had always struggled with and sometime after the breakup you’d finally realized that it was impossible to love somebody else if you didn’t love yourself.

You didn’t love yourself when you were with JJ so you depended on him to make you feel the love you couldn’t provide for yourself and it was only after you got out of it that you gained that perspective, aside from going out and partying, you really had to take the time to do a self dive and ask yourself. Am I good? The answer definitely being no.

You slowly but surely started doing the things that you loved again, surrounding yourself with the people that made you feel like the best you.

It was a roller coaster of emotions. One day you’d be totally fine, reassuring yourself that you could do this but the next you’d be curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor of your shower or crying in a stall at a restaurant or a bar.

And it was at your lowest points that you’d run back to JJ or let him come to you, spending the night with him only made you feel better temporarily but in the long run you knew it was what was hurting you the most.

Wish I could get a little un-drunk

So I could un-love you

“I can’t do this anymore J” you frowned as you got out of his bed, untangling yourself from his tight embrace, he looked at you confused eyebrows contorted.

“What exactly do you mean?” he asked propping himself up onto his elbows as he stared intently at you, tears beginning to well up in the corner of your eyes as you finally realized that you had to end this, you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself.

“I mean this, JJ,” you said, gesturing between the two of you, “Whatever it is, I can’t do it anymore!” You shook your head, hurriedly gathering your things wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Wait Y/N,” he pleaded, getting out the bed, grabbing your wrists, turning you to face him. “Why?” he finally asked, his voice just below a whisper.

“Because, I love you too much and it hurts to see you leave, it hurts to see you with somebody else and I can’t keep trying to convince myself that one day we can go back to the way things were, because I know that’s not what you want.”

This was without a doubt one of the hardest things you’d ever had to do, but you knew this had to be done or you’d just end up hurting yourself even more.

So you left him standing alone in his room, not giving him a chance to talk as you stormed out of his house and into your car, sobs racking through your body as you let your head rest on your steering wheel.

You took a deep breath before placing your keys in the ignition, beginning the long drive from The Cut and into Figure 8.

It was raining pretty heavily and as the calming sound of the rain droplets hitting the top of your car you began to realize your relationship with JJ made you who you were, it taught you a lesson and you learned from it, growed from it, even though it was really hard to see it when you were in the thick of it.

But once you gained some perspective, you began to see things a lot more clearly, realizing that JJ was a really important part of your journey.

You wouldn’t go back in time and undo the relationship, because it had taught you so much about yourself that you didn’t know that you needed to so you finally drove back home, leaving JJ behind, even though it physically hurt you to do so.

This was for the best.

Thank you @angellissy & @harrysbbby for helping me with my grammar!!!! I love y’all💓💓

[cottoncandy-jester]

✨lie down darling it's time for a dream✨

3rd gym squad with deaf S/O

This squad needs more love they are all adorable babies maybe I'll do a poly story with them later

This story contains: talks of bullying, wholesomeness, just soft warm stuff with a hint of angst

Akaashi keiji

He makes sure everyone knows that you're deaf if they ever want to talk to you

He is always respectful and makes sure to never scare you by randomly touching you

He knows a little sign language but you two mostly write or text each other

He loves to kiss you on your ears and neck

He actually loves to hear you laugh

You always say you have a weird laugh but he doesnt agree

He likes to hold your hand when you two are out in public

He doesn't really like to baby you though since he knows you are capable of being independent

But please rely on him if you need to

If you ever get stressed or anything he is the type to pull you away from the situation and comfort you

You and keiji were on a date getting crepes, you got banana and he got strawberry but you would often take bites out of each others, keiji leaned forward taking a bite of your crepe and getting whip cream on his nose which made you laugh

Your loud laugh made him smile but he glanced around seeing people stare at you, he hoped you didnt notice but dadly you did and quickly covered your mouth with your hand now overthinking and tears started to brim in your eyes but you jumped when you felt a soft hand on yours.

You looked up and saw keiji texting on his phone so you pulled out yours to see what exactly he wanted to say.

"let's take our crepes to go and take a walk? I love you."

You looked up only to see the male softly smiling at you before you gave a happy nod. You two decided to walk around the park hands held tightly as Akaashi talked to you about volleyball making sure to talk slow enough for you to read his lips.

Bokuto koutaro

He had no idea when you two first went out

He is always showing you off like a trophy though

"MY BABY IS THE CUTEST THING EVER! LOOK AT THEM!"

Even though you cant hear him he is still super loud around you

He sometimes forgets you are deaf so when you stare blankly after he just ranted for ten minutes awaiting your response he realizes that he spoke way too fast for you

You somehow taught him sign language but you two also created your own special symbols that only you two know

If you use the symbol during a game he is going to be super pumped

the others drag you to him if he is in emo mode

He likes your voice

He knows talking is hard but he just wants to hear you say his name

With a lot of speech therapy you fulfilled his wish and he knew right there that he wanted to marry you

It was an off day for him, he wasn't playing as well as he nirnally was and that was cause you were late to his match. Every second he got he would searched the crowd for you and miss the ball.

The team lost the first set and something needed to change before they lost the game, as bokuto sat on the bench drinking water he couldnt help but think of you.

Luckily akaashi had your number and just before bokuto was about to get back to the game he heard the doors swing open and his name called

"KOUTARO!"

His eyes landed on you who was rushing to him while panting, his entire body froze as he watched you and his ears were ringing as tears rolled down his now red face. He thought he was dreaming but you did it again when you nearly tacked him in a hug

"koutaro! M' sorry!"

Bokuto shakily wrapped his arms around you tightly now peppering kisses all over your head and face when you looked at him.

"you- you said my name! Ah! You're here! Did you run here you look so tired! Did you come to see me win? Haha I can't lose now can I?"

Bokuto was so excited and rambling so you simply yanked him down to your level before selling your lips against his.

That definitely perked him up and before you knew it the male was energized and ready to win the game.

His lucky charm was hear after all

Kuroo testuro

He is pretty goofy with you

He loves physical touches to let you know he loves you

Honestly he is the type to pull your cheeks and watch you whine about it

He likes to playfully tease you by calling you his little mouse

He is also a fan of ear kisses

Always kisses your ears or licking your ear lobes

If you aren't paying attention to him or zoned out that's how he gets your attention

He makes sure you are taken care of though

If anyone was to bully you he would definitely get pissed

He likes dates at home where you two just watch tv

Always makes sure subtitles are on no matter what

Knows a little bit of sign language just small stuff

You two mostly use your ability to read lips

He likes when you watch him practice and tends to work extra hard

Please say his name

He doesn't care what you sound like he just wants you to say his name or laugh with him

Your laugh makes him grin so much

He likes your cute little whines and whimpers the most

He is a teasing demon

"what's wrong little mouse? You look so red and flushed"

Kuroo made sure to talk slow so you can clearly read each and every word, you sat in his lap facing him while he waited for the others to come into the gym for practice.

He normally isn't one to show up early but he wanted alone time with you, with a shaky breath a small whimper escaped you as the male leaned forward trailing his tongue along your ear now running his fingers along your waist under your shirt.

"you can't hear me, but I love you so much"

His breath on your ears gave you shivers before you slowly trailed your hands along his chest under his shirt. He was going to kiss you but the sounds of the gym doors sliding open startled him and he pulled back now simply pressing you close to his chest.

You glanced and saw yaku and lev walk in which made you jump lightly and gripped kuroo's jacket lightly before looking up at him as he simply kissed your head.

"yeah I know, we can play later for now me a good mouse and watch your kitty cat practice" as he lifted you off his lap and onto the bench he couldn't help but feel annoyance as more members walked into the gym..damn it those cockblockers.

Tsukishima kei

He pretends he's not over protective but he is

No one is allowed to get a foot close to you unless they want to get the death glare

You are to hold his hand wherever you two go

He made a playlist for you and made sure all the songs had a loud bass so you can feel the vibrations against your ears

He loves listening to music with you and usually uses a speaker so you can touch it and feel it

He does pick on you but only he can do that

If he needs something and you aren't looking at him he will touch your hand or reach to touch your face

"oi, look at me more idiot. How are you supposed to know what I'm saying if you don't?"

He likes to make you wear his jacket all the time so everyone knows who you belong to

Any bullies you get will be dealt with

He loves to kiss all over your face when you two are alone

Mostly cause it makes you laugh

Will use sign language with you if he wants to say something embarrassingly sweet infront of people

Your body in his jacket made his heart swell, you decided to join him during practice and watch him, this only made him more determined to impress you though he wouldn't admit that fact. He was pretty busy with practice that he didn't quite notice strangers walking into the gym.

They were probably going to watch the game as well, so when tsukishima did see them walk in he didn't pay it much mind. Before he knew it they were sitting next to you, one on either side of you.

"so, you watching a friend play?"

"maybe a boyfriend?"

Of course you didn't hear them and they just thought you were being rude so one of them roughly tapped your shoulder earning your attention.

You tried to watch his lips move but he was talking to fast, when you started to use sign language that's when it all went to hell.

"oi! You deaf or something?! So you can't hear anything I said! That's rude as hell! Shouldn't you be wearing a special sign that says so?!"

The two started to bother you now pushing you around and it didn't take lone til one of them pushed you off the bench and started to make you cry.

Your panicked sobs echoed in tsukishima's ears before he walked over like an angry bull, all he could see was red and he wasn't afraid to get into a fight.

"hey! The hell do you think your doing?! Leave them the hell alone!"

Tsukishima's tall height scared the bullies away and the blonde quickly scooped you into his arms now looking at your face, he noticed a bruise from when you were shoved.

"damn it, those assholes. Hey look at me! You okay?"

You gave a small nod before tsukishima simply carried you into his arms feeling you wrap your legs around him.

"I'm leaving practice."

With that he walked to the locker room to get changed and get his things with you never leaving his side.

He made sure to be more aware of you and those around you, you were so fragile and small and he didn't want to see you get hurt.

Hinata shoyo

He is willing to fight for you

Like a tiny bodyguard

Loves to hear you talk even if you don't like it

Is willing to learn sign for you

But he is dumb so he mixes up signs

He would rather just talk slowly or write

Gets all serious when someone picks on you

He loves to mouth out super cute things

Kisses all over for days

Please come watch him play

Will try and ask daichi for a time out if you show up late to his match

He needs to kiss you!

S I M P

He doesn't have money but he will give you anything you want

Hinata laughs as you straddled him now tickling his sides, it was supposed to be a netflix date but it quickly turned into a tickling match. Hinata was quickly losing this battle but was having fun anyways, he suddenly flipped you over and pinned your hands above your head not realizing how suggestive this looks

"ah...hah..not funny, my stomach hurts now"

As he looked down at you he found himself staring into your eyes a blush forming on his cheeks. You always looked so cute to him, a cute angel that made his insides tingle.

"you're, so cute."

He couldn't help but laugh at your red face and he released your hands only for you to sit up and hold his face in your hands

"shoyo..cute..too"

Those three words made him jolt and before you know it he buried his face in your neck squealing and holding you close. You can feel his pounding heartbeat against your own and simply smiled

Lev haiba

Okay so for the first month of your relationship he just thought you were a mute

Poor fool thought everytime you didn't respond in some way meant you were mad at him

After crying to yaku who explained that you were deaf he ended up apologizing to you

He still forgets that you are deaf a lot

He likes it when you cling to his clothes when you both are in a crowd

He tries not to talk too fast but sometimes you have to tug him by his shirt to tell him to slow down

Can't sign to save his life

He often used really dramatic gestures to get you to understand at times

He doesn't mean to offend he's just nervous and doesn't know what to say

He loves you to death

Also a S I M P

You want a snack? Write it down he got you

Want his jacket? Oh he's taking it off as we speak

Need him to carry you? Of course he will!

He doesn't like fighting so with bullies he just presents his height and they normally back off

He is a jealous boy though cause kenma and you sign all the time

Lev watched with a pout as kenma moved his hands fluently signing to you, lev couldn't get the grasp of it but kenma learned fast. This bugged lev since his worst thought was that kenma would steal you away from him!

"it's no fair! He has better hair than me!"

His complaining was cut short by yaku who kicked the Russian in the leg, this made lev fall and he let out a pained groan

"yakuuuuu I can't practice right now my partner is being stolen by kenma!"

"idiot! They are obviously hanging around him cause it's easier to talk to kenma than it is you"

This made lev look to you and he soon came up with an idea. He rushed over to you and kenma before softly grabbing your hand.

This made you jump and you looked over in confusion before smiling softly at his joyful expression.

"I know I tend to talk too fast sometimes, but please don't replace me with kenma! I love you so so much!"

He talked slowly making sure you get every single word and he was shocked to hear your laughter, he glanced over at kenma who now walked away not wanting to ruin whatever moment was happening.

"why you laughing?"

You took out a notepad and a pen before starting to write before handing it to him

As he read what you said his heart started to swell.

"silly! I'm not replacing you with kenma! I love you! More than anything!"

He couldn't help but hug you tightly kissing your face over and over again.

"I love you too! You love me too even if I can't sign! Or even if I mess up? Ahhh! I love you so much! Marry me [y/n]!"

You weren't quite sure what he was saying but you knew he was happy and that made you happy.

[jjmaebank]

Amnesia - JJ Maybank

a/n: this is based off the classic song Amnesia by 5sos, I'm sorry but I'm acc tempted to write so many more purely based on 5sos songs cuz there r so many GEMS. this one’s just a classic and this album reminds me of my childhood jfskk

LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING (if you want lol)

Flashbacks are in italics!!

warnings: sad :((

Words: 2.8k

[GIF NOT MINE CREDIT TO OWNER]

+

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

JJ would drive by the beach every day just to get a glimpse at your special spot through the car window. When you first left he would sit there for hours, running his fingers through the sand that the two of you would lie on as you stared at the stars. He would sit there for hours hoping that maybe if he stayed there long enough you would appear next to him. He would sit there remembering the countless times you spent getting wasted and talking about stupid things.

“Don’t you think that there are enough cows in the world for them to coordinate a mass uprising against the meat industry?” You asked as you stared up at the star scattered sky.

JJ chuckled as he stared at you with absolute adoration.

“Babe, cows aren’t humans...they can’t coordinate a global rebellion,” he laughed, his eyes never leaving your face as you scrunched up your nose in protest.

“But they did it in Animal Farm,” you pouted, the alcohol had really clouded your logic.

“What the hell is Animal Farm?” JJ asked, still smiling at your passion for social justice.

“Oh, I forgot you don’t read,” you teased, turning your head to meet his gaze.

JJ rolled his eyes and began to tickle you in response causing you to erupt into fits of giggles.

“Why would I read when I have you to give me in depth summaries of every book in the world,” he smirked, continuing to tickle you.

Your laughter. It hurt him to even remember the sound, but every time he cracked a joke with the pogues he wished he could hear it again. He wished he could watch the way your dimples showed and your eyes crinkled as you burst into a fit of laugher. He wished he could watch the way one of his jokes sent you into hysterics to the point you were holding your stomach, to the point you were out of breath. But he also wished he could forget.

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted.

Your last kiss. It was breathtaking. You’d spent the whole day out on the water  with the pogues, swimming, snorkelling, soaking up the sun. JJ remembered this day as one of the most epic days of pogue history; it was the last time you were all together as one, as one big happy family. He remembered the overwhelming feeling of pride he had as he watched you beat Pope in a shotgunning challenge.

“That’s my girl!” He yelled as you downed the beer and smashed the can down on the boat as Pope continued struggling with his.

You smiled and hopped on his lap, giving him a quick peck as you celebrated being the coolest girlfriend anyone could ever have.

You were his soulmate, or that’s what it felt like, for him at least.

He remembered walking you back to your house on The Cut that night, your fingers interlaced as your hands swung with your steps.

“Today was amazing,” you smiled, masking a sadness that JJ hadn’t noticed at the time.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” JJ smiled, tracing small patterns on your right cheek with his thumb.

You leaned into his touch, knowing it would be one of the last you experienced, but you didn’t want to spoil this perfect moment.

JJ leaned in, connecting his lips with yours in a soft yet passionate kiss. But you immediately grabbed him and brought him closer, increasing the intensity of the kiss knowing it might be your last. Your lips tasted like your strawberry flavoured lip balm, but with a slightly salty tang from the sea, and he loved it.

Your lips glided against each other in such harmony it was as if everything about the two of you was meant to be. Your fingers ran through his locks of blonde hair, tugging at the nape of his neck. He responded by hooking his fingers in the loops of your jean shorts and pulling you against him.

Eventually, you pushed yourself away from him gently and smiled.

“Goodnight, babe,” you smiled.

“I love you (Y/N),” JJ whispered into your hair as he pulled you in for a hug, not knowing that his words had almost made you cry into his shirt.

“I love you too, JJ Maybank,” you responded, knowing it would probably be the last time he believed you when you said it.

And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fine Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?

It had been a year; a whole year since you’d left. You’d come back to the Outer Banks a few times during the holidays to visit your parents, but you’d never once gone to see him. You had a new boyfriend. JJ had seen him a few times the one time you brought him home with you. He knew he was biased but he didn't like the look of him, he reminded him of Rafe Cameron and he couldn't comprehend why you’d done what you did just to end up with him.

JJ would watch you from afar, making awkward eye contact whenever you ran into him at The Wreck, but neither of you had the courage to say anything. It had been a year but JJ could still read your emotions from a mile away. You looked lonely, abandoned, lost. At least that was what he kept telling himself like a mantra to stop him from breaking down or punching something every time he saw you.

However, he would ask Kie how you were every time you left and she would be brutally honest and tell him you seemed like you were doing fine. And every time he heard those words it would break him a little bit more.

When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you? Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause I’m not fine at all.

JJ remembered the first time he heard him talk to you like that, like you were nothing. You’d accidentally spilt your drink on him at the Wreck and you’d started laughing about it as you would’ve with JJ.

“What the fuck!” He yelled.

“Babe, it’s just soda,” you giggled.

“Yeah and it’s gonna stain my new fucking shirt,” he growled, “god you’re so fucking clumsy.”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes, but JJ knew that his words had more effect than you lead on.

JJ had stood up from his chair to go confront the asshole but John B grabbed him by his shirt and sat him back down.

“Don’t, JJ...” John B said sadly, knowing it hurt his best friend to see the girl he loved with someone else, but he knew that if he involved himself with you right now it would only hurt him more.

JJ would lay in his bed and wonder how it was possible that you could be so...normal, so okay, so fine. It made his heart ache as he realised what the two of you had must have been a complete and utter lie. There was no way you could just forget about what the two of you had unless it never meant anything to you in the first place.

He would go through periods of hating you, punching the walls in his room and screaming as he convinced himself you’d lied to him the whole time. His life at home hadn't got any better, but at least he could say his father’s punches didn't hurt anymore. The pain was nothing compared to the hole you’d left in his heart. He would take a thousand beatings if it meant he could have you back. But you were fine, and he was far from it.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving I remember the make-up running down your face And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them Like every single wish we ever made

JJ would replay the moment you left over and over again, trying to fathom how you could have done such a thing to him, the person you claimed to love most.

JJ heard a knock at his door. His dad wasn’t home, but he could come back at any moment, so naturally he was concerned as to why anyone would come see him when he was the one trying to escape this household.

“(Y/N)?” JJ asked, confused as to why you were stood on his porch. “What are you doing here? You know it’s not safe.”

The concern that laced his voice made your heart break as you dreaded what was about to escape your mouth.

“We need to talk...” you replied sadly.

JJ’s heart rate went up. Those words never lead to anything good. He observed your facial expression but you were stoic, the only hint to how distraught you were being the faint dark circles under your eyes that showed you hadn't slept. And you hadn’t. Not a wink.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” JJ asked, the concern in his voice even more evident, except his concern had shifted from your safety to whatever you were about to tell him.

“I-I have to tell you something,” you confessed.

JJ ushered you into his room and sat you down on the edge of his bed, sitting down by your side.

“What is it? You can tell me anything,” JJ continued, being the loving boyfriend that he was.

He had no idea what was coming for him.

“I’m...I’m leaving, JJ,” you sighed, your voice shaking as you feared his response. He tended to lash out when his emotions got the best of him.

“Leaving? What do you mean? Like for a bit?” JJ spouted questions, hope still laced in his voice.

“No, JJ...for quite a while,” you said, the tears that you were holding back finally escaping.

JJ’s eyes widened, his hands balled up into fists.

“W-what?” He choked, tears of his own brimmed his eyes.

“I got this amazing opportunity to study in Europe,” you continued. “I know I’d planned on going to UNC Chapel Hill so I’d be closer to home but I applied for their semester abroad programme not thinking I’d actually get it.”

At this point you were speaking too fast for JJ to even comprehend what you were saying. In fact, he wouldn't have been able to even if you’d spoken slowly.

“A semester, that’s not long?” JJ asked, some hope resurfacing.

“I know and that’s why I applied for a semester but they said they can only offer me the year abroad programme...” you explained, crushing his remaining hope.

“And you’re taking it?” JJ asked angrily, the skin on his knuckles going white from how hard he was clenching his fists.

“J...I have to...you know it’s my dream to study in Paris,” you said, going to rest your hand on his.

He pulled away from your touch instantly, causing your heart to sink.

“How long have you known?” He asked, looking down at the floor.

“Not that lon-” you started before JJ stood up angrily.

“How goddamn long, (Y/N)!” He yelled, looking down at you.

“3 months,” you whispered, letting another tear fall down your cheek.

All you wanted in this moment was for JJ to wipe your tears gently and caress you, hold you, but he couldn't even look at you right now, let alone touch you.

“3 fucking months?!” He yelled, his rage consuming him and anger clouding his vision.

He immediately turned to his wall and punched it with all his force causing a deafening cracking noise.

“JJ your hand!” You exclaimed as you stood up, knowing that was the sound of a bone or two breaking.

“I don't give a shit about my hand right now, (Y/N)!” He turned around to face you.

His eyes had gone dark and his lip was trembling. You did this, and you hated yourself for it.

“How could you keep this from me for 3 months?” JJ’s voice cracked, his own tears finally escaping.

You went to wipe them but again, he flinched away from your touch.

“I wanted this summer to be great, epic even! And it was, JJ it was... like yesterday on the boat, that was one of the best days of my life! I didn’t want it to be ruined by the fact I was leaving,” you cried, your mascara starting to run down your face.

“But it was all a fucking lie, (Y/N)! You do realise that right?” JJ continued shouting, this time tugging at his hair angrily as he paced around his room. It broke you to see him like this but you were the only one to blame.

“Don’t say that J...that’s not true...”

“You don’t get to say that! You knew you were spending your last moments with us, with me. I didn’t!” He yelled, glaring at you. And for the first time ever he looked at you with what looked like resentment, hate.

“Did you just expect me to be fine with this, with you just dropping this on me out of the blue?” He continued.

“No, I didn’t,” you whispered, “but I didn’t want our last summer to have an expiration date on it you know...”

“That is so unbelievably selfish, (Y/N),” JJ stated, his words cutting like knives.

“You’re fucking SELFISH,” he continued, causing more tears to pour down your face.

“JJ please don’t say that...I did this for us, so you could remember us happily!” You sobbed.

“Well you did an excellent job at that, well done,” JJ laughed sarcastically, clapping his hands in a fake applause, “because this isn’t sad at all right?!”

“J-” you started, your whole body shaking at this point.

“No,” he said, “just get out.”

“What?” You whispered, looking at the boy you loved who couldn't even look you in the eyes for more than a second.

“I said get out,” he repeated.

“JJ please, I don’t want us to end like this!” You pleaded, your throat closing up feeling as though it was wrapped in barbed wire.

“I said GET OUT!” He yelled, tears streaming down his face, his voice coated in pain. He hated how he was acting towards you and he knew he’d regret it but he couldn’t look at you. He didn't want to hear your voice right now.

You nodded sadly, wiping your tears, your mascara now smeared on your face and coating your fingers.

“I love you...” you said gently.

You waited a moment to see if he would respond, but he remained silent, refusing to look at you. You sighed in defeat before walking out of his room and out of his life.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia And forget about the stupid little things Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you And the memories I never can escape

‘Cause I’m not fine at all

That day was scarred into JJ’s mind. There was nothing he regretted more than the way he had acted. He still didn’t understand why you’d hidden it, he would’ve been upset at first, but ultimately he would’ve cherished every day with you even more. But he knew you weren’t selfish, and he knew you didn't mean to hurt him. You were trying to protect him and your last moments together. He still thought you’d gone about it the wrong way and in some ways you did too, but what was done was done. He simply wished he’d had the self control to keep himself from saying the things he did, and to say the things he didn’t.

He never told you he loved you back. That was his biggest regret. He never said goodbye. That was his next regret. You’d left for Paris two weeks after you told him about your year abroad programme there. Two weeks. He could’ve spent every minute of those last two weeks with you, but instead he spent it alone, avoiding you at all costs. His pride stopping him from apologising and his pain stopping him from being around you at all.

It hurt him so much that you’d ended that way, and as much as he wanted to put the blame on you, he knew he played a part in it too. But it was too late to reverse the damage. All he longed for now was to forget. He’d spent a year hoping you would come back and hoping you could go back to being JJ and (Y/N), the power couple of the Outer Banks. But when you came back with him, he realised it was too little too late.

All there was left to do was erase you from his memory.

+

A/N: holy shit that made me SAD, amnesia is my cry song. FUCKSJF I'm sorry, but like at the same time I'm not cuz like I'm kinda proud of this

tagging some lovely people: @maybe-maybanks , @baby-bearie , @obx-sos , @drewtruly , @drewstarkey , @spilledtee , @thelocalpogue , @heliopvth , @jmaybank , @ruelstyles , @jjmaybanky , @jjmayibeyoursbanks , @jjmayspanks , @ceruleanjj

[antigoneidk]

Everything I wanted to say:a letter to you|t.h.

a/n: I had this idea in my head for days but I was only able to write it now hehe. I hope you like it and I am sorry for any mistakes💞*gif is not mine*

warnings:fluff, fluff, a lit bit of angst(only if you are like me)

My love, my light, my life.

I have no words to describe how much in love i am with you. How fast my heart beats when i feel you're around. How my butterflies dance inside my stomach whenever you touch me. How I melt right in your hands everytime you squeeze my body, keep me safe in your arms. How the world stops spinning when you kiss me with those lips, that fit mine so perfectly.

I was convinced that true love didn't exist. That my parents kept lying to me through fairytales with princess waiting the prince with the white horse to take them away, show them love and affection. And both of them will fall for each other.

But as I was growing up and looked around me, everything proved them wrong. People are cruel, full of hate, shameless, unaware of how bad they can damage others. I just locked myself in four walls tired of it. Tired of not having someone to talk to. A real friend. An honest person, pure, innocent, loving, caring, kind, generous. The opposite of the majority.

And then you came into my life.

I am not gonna be able to forget the first time that I saw your face. You were smiling bright, the whole street lighting up. Your eyes were a little smaller. Your nose and cheeks had turned to a light red, as you were speaking to some people, fans. I wish I was closer that moment to picture in my head every detail, to paint your face and put it next to me each time you are gone. And you wore that blue sweater, my favourite one which I'm wearing right now, and that pair of black jeans, always looking good at you. Your hair were curly and every ten seconds your fingers were running through.

I heard your laugh from across the street, a sound that was playing in my mind for days. I had stopped there by accident before I searched around me curious from where the sound came from. That was all it took for me to just stand there and watch you, hug and smile to others, joking around, laughing, giving autographs. I wondered how you would smell every time you crossed your arms around somebody. I liked that you were happy, open handed, polite to them. I knew that you were different that day and even though you might not believe it,is the truth.

And then you glanced at me, taking my breath away. It was like the time had stopped, the world paused and the only ones with the power to move and talk were just the two of us. I felt your brown eyes looking at my soul, my life, my choices, my mistakes. I got embarrassed and scared. Scared that the fairytales were based on real life, that I might have found my prince. I know it sounds stupid, and now that I'm thinking of it, yes it is. But for a second I had that fantasy. My brain and heart stopped working, all my senses gave up. It was only you.

Tom then you smiled at me. ME. My walls that I was building for years fell down with that smile making me feel weak, not being able to process this. I've never had someone to look at me the way you did that day, I thought I was dreaming. Maybe it wasn't something special for you, you had people's eyes on you 24/7 but for me, you were the first. That's why I stood still in my place. I tried to enjoy every second.

I smiled back at you shyly and pulled my hair back, such a girly move. You looked down still with your smile at your face, then back at me and I swear I was ready to explode from all my emotions. I wanted to cry from happiness that finally something changed in my life but also from sadness because I knew that was for only a few seconds. Reality hit my face hard when a couple of men started shouting your name and dragging you to a different direction away for me. And that's when I said to myself that "it was too good to be true" and walked with tears in my eyes. If anyone else was at my place maybe they wouldn't care about it but I did.  I lived on the sidelines for so long and I had a chance,  I thought I had a chance but I guessed that i didn't deserved it.

And the time when I felt your hand on my shoulder and I saw you standing in front of me I pushed aside all of my negative thoughts and questioned if I was daydreaming and turning crazy. I felt my skin under my clothes burning from your touch, my heart losing control and my brain not working, only my eyes watching and my nose smelling your fragrance. I wanted to hug you just so I can smell it for the rest of my life. Then you talked to me asking if I was okay, your eyes following a teardrop making it's way down to my cheek and I felt so stupid that a boy, a stranger was seeing me like these. Do you remember that?

"Yes" he whispered to himself and turned the page to the other side wanting to read more.

Fast forward to our first date. I was so anxious all day, spending majority of my time in front of a mirror changing outfits, makeup, hair styles not satisfying with anything. I was turning to that teenage girl I always made fun of. I was making circles around the house practicing how I would act around you, how would I speak and what I would say.

You were the sweetest man I could ask for, such a gentleman. I couldn't get my eyes off of you, so confident and handsome, talking about the most silliest things and making me laugh all night with your jokes and random comments for the topic I was talking about. You held my hand and kept listening to me and laughed at my miserably jokes. I was the luckiest woman that night and to the ride back at my house I remember feeling so sad that I had to say goodbye to you even though i wanted to spent more and more time with you. By surprise you didn't stop and continued to drive.

We got to our favorite place now, yours back in the day. I never knew why you did that and although I want so desperately to know I'll never ask. Let that kind of mystery follow. We sat down and kept a deep conversation starting about our past. Well mine. I was battling with my self if I should had open to you or not and I'm glad I did. You listened carefully to what I was saying and held my hand the entire time, squeezing when I was about to cry. You have no idea how much strength you gave me with that touch and how much courage to keep going. I wanted you to know everything that I had been through. It was the only way to know if you would stay and not leave me alone. I was terrified but prepared to fight this feeling of loneliness again.

You kissed me.

I get butterflies only from thinking of it, of our first kiss.  Your lips covered mine and our tongues met for the first time exploring each other. Your hands held my cheeks and pulled me closer to you, giving me the warmth I was lacking for years. My hands shaking touched yours after a long time not wanting to let them go and the sensation drove me insane. My heart was exploding inside my chest, my blood was running through my veins faster that lightning, my brain was hurting from the situation and was wondering if this was actually true. I pulled away and opened my eyes. I found yours shut your lips pressed to one another. I thought that you regretted this, that it was stupid and that I seduced you to do this. Your half smiled then showed up, my heart skipped a beat, and you said that this was better than your imagination.  My inner child raised from deep down myself. I wanted to jump around, laugh and shout, kiss you again, hold you, hug you, feel you.

Days, months passed away and you stood by my side, making me the happiest person alive. I only had to listen to your voice and everything bad disappeared within a second. It's like you have that superpower to fight the dark inside me so easily. I admired you and still do to this day. I love how you push your problems to the side and listen to mine, it sounds selfish right? I'm always here to listen to you baby not matter what and yes there were times you opened up to me. I wondered if I helped you or not.

"My love.."Tom laughed and grabbed the other piece of paper from the table."..you always do" he mumbled.

But I wish you shared your problems more. I am willing to help you or even just listen to you if you just want to get rid of anything. You are a strong man but sharing your feelings is important, you are not bothering me you know.

Can you recall our first time? Damn I would never forget that, from the way you touched every single inch of my skin to the way I felt at the end. Your kisses and hands got me to placed I had never been before, so dreamy. You whispered to me how much you loved me and how i changed you to becoming a better person. I remember every of your words and I can still your voice clearly next to my ear as our bodies move in sync. You were my first.

If you only knew how much you mean to me. How my view for the world changed because of you. How I met incredible people through you. How I learnt to love, respect, share, laugh, fight, adore, live. How you teached me to finally see the colors around me. How life can be  hard, yet awesome. There are nights that we fight, we say things anger makes us too. But by the end of the day I know that I love you so much and that we can get over this. I try to remind my self every night that there are so many reasons to be happy and not sad for a foolish reason. And that's when I turn to you and open my arms for you to hug me and sleep calmly. But you are already waiting for me to do so.

This is my letter to you. I wish I could say those things to you but we both know that i get caught up by my feelings. We would have been talking for hours.

I am not going to be able to stop loving you and that's my weakness. I don't wanna see you cry or heartbroken and you make me melancholic when you are like that. If I could only make you feel the way you make me. I am not the best but I'm trying to I swear and I'll continue to do so every day till the last one.

I love you.

Sincerely yours,

y/n

He wiped away some tears that escaped his eyes and got himself up from where he was sitting to get to you. You had been waiting for him in your bedroom, with roses all around, food and a movie to watch. It wasn't any special day but you felt the need to spoil him with love. In your own way. But as the time went on you fell asleep, with the food at the bedside table and your body hugging his pillow, feeling safe.

Tom smiled at the sight of you sleeping with his pillow in your hands. His heart beat fast as he kept moving closer to you and left a kiss on your forehead.

"I love you too baby" he said and kissed your lips gently. With slowly moves he tried to laid his body next to yours, hugging your waist and pulling you close to his.

It was at this moment that he realised the power you had over him and he was surprised you couldn't notice it.

"I guess I have to write it to you" he laughed at himself and closed his eyes, falling asleep a few moments later with the thought of you at his mind.

[huntertales]

The whole cast of Supernatural is saying goodbye to the show rn and they tore down the bunker and oh my goodness I'm a wreck DANI I NEED A HUG (and some incorrect quotes)🥺

WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. In my head the bunker will always a place where I pretend it’s real. I’ve always loved that set. My heart hurts even more knowing that it’s really over. But I’ve got something to hopefully cheer us all up!! I was planning on finishing the current episode, oh well!

y/n: dean is so cute. sam: he just killed a demon that tried to kill you y/n: i said "cute", not "harmless".

y/n: you know, i bet my parents are actually really proud of what i’ve accomplished. I bet they’re looking up and smiling at me now. charlie: looking up? y/n: oh yeah, they’re in hell for sure. no doubt about it 

y/n: *banging his pencil on a table* dean: stop that. i can't concentrate. y/n: *keeps banging the pencil* dean, frustrated: can somebody help me out here?? cas: i got it. now y/n, how would you feel if dean banged you on a table? y/n: i- y/n: oh please do.

dean: hey, do you think i could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth? sam: you’re a hazard to society. y/n: and a coward. do twenty

y/n: why did the chicken cross the road? dean: i don’t know why? y/n: to get to the house of the dumbass y/n: knock, knock dean: who’s there? y/n: the chicken dean: liSTEN HERE YOU-

dean: i’ve done a lot of dumb stuff sam: i’ve witnessed the dumb stuff cas: i recorded the dumb stuff y/n: i’ve joined you in the dumb stuff josh: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF

y/n: okay, for this mission, i’m going to assign us all special codenames. you can address me as “eagle one.” sam, your codename is been there, done that.” sam: *look of worried confusion* y/n: dean is “currently doing that” Dean: *high fives the reader* y/n: josh is “it happened once in a dream” josh: *even more worried and confused* y/n: rowena is “if i had to pick a girl” rowena: *winks at the reader* y/n: and cas is… cas: y/n: y/n: eagle two cas: oh thank dad

y/n: i can’t go. stress is bad for the baby dean: what baby?? y/n: me

y/n: i’m craving something sweet :( dean, gesturing to himself: :) y/n: i said something sweet, not a heap of salt

y/n: what are you, five? sam: yeah, five heads taller than you y/n: sam: y/n: sam: please don’t kill me

cas: you’re like an angel with no wings y/n: ... so like a person?

john: y/n is at that special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind dean: boys? y/n: homicide

y/n: *holding sam’s hand over her stomach so he can feel one of the twins kick* sorry this is taking so long, they kicked for everyone else dean: it’s hard for the little guy to perform under pressure josh: top ten things dean said on his wedding night sam: woah! It was small, but I think I felt something! charlie: top ten things yn said on her wedding night y/n: *laughs* dean: stop laughing at it, y/n! y/n: top ten things you said on your wedding night dean: i want a divorce

sam: cas, you’re in charge. take y/n and dean cas: yes! my fantasy threesome sam: dean: y/n: cas: of people to go on a mission with

y/n: the quickest way to a man’s heart is through the fourth and fifth ribs

charlie, talking about the reader: she likes mysterious guys dean: okay *later* y/n: where are we going? dean: IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

cas: if you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? josh: maybe a bit tipsy? sam: drunk y/n: wasted dean; dead

cas: *learning human etiquette* what are friends with benefits? y/n: ...a very special type of friends cas: um...like us? y/n: *chokes*

y/n: i have feelings for you dean: you do? y/n: yes. I feel you’re a little annoying

bartender, about dean: excuse me, is this man bothering you? y/n: yes. Yes he is, but he’s my husband so i pretty much signed up for this

john winchester and ella y/l/n: all we ever wanted to do was raise the children so they were safe bobby: you fucked up a perfectly good generation is what you did. look at them. they have trauma.

y/n: HYDRATE OR DIE-DREATE! y/n: *aggressively throws water bottles* sam: uh… cas: she’s trying to yell mental health and wellbeing at us dean: *crying* it’s working

dean: how do you politely tell someone you want to hit them with a brick?  y/n: one wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls dean: that’s the most beautiful thing i have ever heard

y/n: ugh, i couldn’t sleep at all last night sam: you know, they say if if you can’t sleep it’s because someone is thinking of you y/n: who’d be thinking of me at 3 am?  dean: *sweats*

y/n: careful, if you keep being so sweet people are gonna start thinking you’re in love with me dean: what could i have ever possibly done, to make you think that i’m not?

[toomanyfandoms02]

Tap Tap Tap // Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary ~ Three little taps becomes something much more when his best friend is in the clutches of an unsub.

Spencer Reid × Reader

Word Count ~ 2.4K

SPENCER

Y/n had discussed with me many times that she knew what she was getting into with this kind of job. She had been used as a human shield by unsubs, along as a sedutive measure for many male unsubs (and one female). But she had yet to go through something unmatchable to the rest, more traumatic.

But I guess it had to happen sometime, huh?

Y/n was an amazing profiler and agent. She always wanted the best for people. This also meant she was often getting in trouble for trying to take things into her own hands.

We had a few suspects for this particular case, but it was clear y/n wasn't convinced that any of them were the right ones. She was very smart and stubborn, and she definitely wasn't going to stand for convicting an innocent. Since this was all going on in Vorginia, she had told me that she felt responsible to keep everyone here safe, she didn't want any more people in our home state being murdered or injured because "She couldn't figure out a seemingly simple case."

Wednesday morning was pretty normal. I had come in early and was sitting at the round table, reading 'War and Peace.' For the twelfth time. The rest of the team began piling in. I looked up from my book, peering around the table. I wasn't being teased for reading War and Peace, where was y/n?

"Has anyone spoken to y/n this morning?" Hotch asked, leaning further onto the table. Everyone shook their heads. My heart dropped into my stomach, where is she? I immediately scrambled to my feet, exiting the room and calling her.

It went straight to voicemail.

I ran my hand through my hair, trying to pull myself together, calmly walking back to the room.

"I'm going to her house to check on her. Is anyone coming with me?" JJ grabbed my jacket, throwing it to me. Hotch nodded at me as we began to leave.

I was always a careful driver, speeding actually killed around 10,000 people last year. But this was important, I had to know she was okay. I could tell JJ was on edge by the way she was gripping the seat and looking out the window.

Once we arrived I knocked softly on her door. JJ was going to all the windows to see if she could see inside, any sign of struggle. Once she came back around the house, I fished the spare key that I have from my pocket, I carried it with me everywhere.

"Do you, have a key to her house?" She smiled, clearly trying to lighten the situation.

"She gave it to me a few months ago, she said I could come over any time."

"If you wanted to come over any time, you could just knock."

"She was also worried something like this would happen, and she wanted me be the one to quote on quote 'save her' if the situation had risen. She trusts me." She smiled and shrugged, pushing me into the house.

It didn't take much searching before we found a file on a man named 'Carl Desmond'.

"Here. It says that he had 3 siblings. All three have restraining orders against him, but it's not listed why. That's probably why she was so suspicious of him. He could be taking these kids and reliving a childhood life with them. Three kids at a time. I'm not seeing anything on his address." I quickly dialed Garcia. "Garcia can you look for an address on Carl Desmond and send someone there? JJ and I are going to keep looking around the house."

"Yes of course." Cue the sound of vigorous typing. "It looks like he currently resides on 162 Bradbury Lane. I'll let Morgan know."

"Thank you Garcia." As soon as I set my phone down it began to ring again. "Reid."

"It's Morgan. I really think you guys should come back, you need to see something." I grabbed the file and left the house.

I let JJ drive back this time, I was a little out of focus and I didn't want to put us both in danger.

Once we arrived I rushed into the conference room, where I saw everyone but Hotch sitting patiently.

"We sent Hotch to Carl's address." Morgan began fiddling with the projector. "This was sent to Penelopes computer a bit ago. She's really trying to figure out where it came from but it's proving to be pretty difficult." He clicked a button and a distraught, and tied up y/n was presented on the screen. There was a deep voice that came from behind the camera.

"You have five minutes. Say your goodbyes."

"He has sympathy." I said, tapping my foot.

"Hi guys. I'm alright." She was shaking, and clearly not alright. I stepped closer to the screen. "I just wanted tell you guys some things. Garcia, please never stop being a ball of sunshine, I don't know what I would do if you changed. You make everyones day better. And tell Kevin that if he breaks your heart, I'll haunt him." My I could feel the air caught in my throat, I knew she meant that as a funny morbid joke, typical of her. But I didn't even want to open my mind to the possiblity of her death. She doesn't believe she is getting out of this.

Penelope began to cry, "Of course baby."

"Morgan, I admire you so much. You have so much drive and motivation, it's inspiring. Whoever replaces me, make sure you inspire them just as much as you do me." Morgan sat down slowly, nodding.

"Hotch. I couldn't have asked for a better leader. I knew I could come to you with anything and you will help me with it. Thank you for everything." He tried to remain unphased, but I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Emily, I'm sorry that I had to leave right as you got back. I never got to tell you how much I missed you, because I missed you so much. Can you take care of bink bink? Her and Sergio can have kittens together." Emily was now laughing through her tears.

"Rossi you have been an amazing mentor. I have learned so much from you, and I wish I could cram my brain with more cases you were willing to tell me about." Even Rossi looked emotional.

"JJ, please make sure Spence is ok when I'm gone." JJ close dher eyes, squeezing her fists shut. "Don't let him do something stupid. I can't watch him struggle again."

"And Spence. God, I don't even know what to say. You are my best friend, I never wanted this to happen. I wish that yesterday when I stopped you mid-fact telling, because I was looking over a case, I wish I would have let you tell me about the wonders of mountain goats for the rest of the 7 hour flight. You never fail to amaze me. I know, and everyone knows, that you're a genius. But it still baffles me how much you can fit in that head of yours. Never stop rambling about what makes you happy. It's your best trait." I felt a tear slip from my eye, I was now sitting. Listening closely to every word she said.

"I love you all so so much. You are the best family I could have ever asked for. Thank you for everything." I looked down at her hand, she tapped three times on the arm of the chair. That sent me into a fit of sobs.

*"Ok, so how do you feel about I love you's?"*

*"The three-word phrase is laden with all sorts of meaning; saying it signals that we're officially committed, we prioritize one relationship over the rest."*

*"Of course you would know so much about the phrase." She playfully rolled her eyes, shifting into her other foot. "Listen I say I love you, or love you, a lot. And a lot of times it is to my friends. Now, the whole team already thinks that we are dating or something." My cheeks flushed at the statement. "But I do love you Spence, and I thought we could make up a silent code thing for me to say it!" She smiled giddily. "So, if I tap you three times like this." She tapped my shoulder rhythmically, "It means. I. Love. You."*

*"I actually think that's very creative. Ancient scripts and languages have been understood using decoding and deciphering techniques, most famously the Rosetta Stone of Ancient Egypt. In fact, codes and ciphers have determined the outcome of politics and wars throughout history. There are thousands of types of hidden messages." I rambled a little, having just read about some kinds of codes last week.*

*"Well look at us, making history." She smiled, tapping my hand three times playfully*

After that, y/n would tap me three times before going into any dangerous situation. Or whenever we would hug. She even made me a little keychain that read *tap,tap,tap*.

"I'm sorry." Was the last thing she said before the video ended.

"The guy who has y/n is the unsub. She was onto him, and he took her. She probably went to find him and he took her." I was trying to pull myself out of the state I was in. I knew they wouldn't let me help.

"We sent SWAT to Carl's house and no one is there. They are investigating further now." Hotch relayed his information to us. I slid the file from y/n's house over to him.

"This is what she had on him."

"Garcia, search for relatives of Mr. Desmond. They may know any alternate locations he visits."

We had gathered many family members numbers, the last one we were calling was his aunt.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this Miss Melanie Desmond? My name is Spencer Reid, I'm with the FBI."

"What's this about?"

"I'm calling to speak to you about your nephew Carl. We believe he may be involved in a string of kidnappings. We cannot locate him at his home. Does he stay at any other place?" I had just a hint of hope in my voice.

"He sometimes tidys things up at his parents farm. My sister died 2 months ago, so he's been taking care of it. I can give you the address." That must have been the stressor.

"Yes please."

Once jotting the address down. I texted it to the team and began on my route to the farm.

It was only about 25 minutes away. 15 minutes in, Morgan and JJ were caught up with me, driving right behind me.

Once we hit the driveway, my nerves were through the roof. I didn't want to walk in on my best friend dead. I just wanted to hug her ~and kiss her~ and tell her everything was going to be ok.

I nearly stumbled out of the car, heading into the house with Morgan while JJ and Emily started off to the barn.

Morgan kicked the door down, announcing that the FBI was here. I immediately noticed blood on the white tile floor of the house. My stomach churned at the sight.

"Carl Desmond?" I called into the house. I heard light footsteps coming from a room over. Once I turned the corner I could see y/n laying sideways on the floor, still tied to her chair. Morgan motioned me in there as he continued to search the house.

"I'm going to need a medic in the house, but don't send anyone yet, I'm not sure if it's safe." I spoke into my mic. I shook her shoulder a bit.

Nothing.

I put my finger against her neck, feeling for a pulse. It was there, and stronger than I had expected. I began cutting the ropes around her wrists and ankles. I scooped my arms under her weak frame and pulled her into my lap.

"Y/n? Please be okay." I shook her shoulder a little, trying to lightly wake her and not scare her.

"Spence?" She looked up at me with squinting eyes. She sat up quickly, wincing and holding her head.

"Woah woah slow down, you probably have a concussion, don't move too fast." I held my hand behind her head. She pushed forward, throwing her arms around me.

"I knew you would find me, I just wasn't sure I would be here for it." I could feel her tears on my shirt. She tapped my back three times.

"I love you too." She pulled back, looking at me with a crooked smile. "I don't care who hears it anymore. Everyone can know I love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You always want to her me talk about random facts, even if you have no idea what I'm talking about. When I'm sick of people asking me if I 'can actually read that fast' you tell them everything about me, proudly. I love you, so much." She leaned her forehead on mine.

"Thank god." She leaned forward a bit and connected our lips. I could taste the tears that she had shed for hours and even in the past few minutes. Some tears were even sliding down my cheeks. Even though I didn't have much to cry about now. My everything was back in my arms.

"I knew it! Pretty boy and y/n! Get it man! Hey y/n remember that dream you told me about?" Morgan winked, coming around the corner with a cuffed Carl Desmond. Trailing along with the three missing children. I almost jumped away but y/n kept a tight hold on me.

"Shut up Derek." She growled, furrowing her eyebrows at him.

"What dream?"

"Nope, we aren't talking about this right now. Can you carry me to the medics?" She flashed me a cheesy smile.

I shook my head at her with a smile. I leaned down and kissed her one more time. "You really are lucky I love you." I picked her up bridal style, taking her to the ambulance where there was a medic waiting to help her. I noticed multiple smirks from the team. I set down, wrapping a blanket around her.

"So, a dream, huh?"

[noctuascion]

;; Cryptage server bullied me now I rebel ;;

--

There wasn't a cloud in the sky when Elliott arrived to a familiar little home, a half-synthetic hand in his own, squeezing in reassurance and support.

It was Mother's Day. Park had desperately wanted to visit Mystik, but she had insisted it was far too dangerous, especially if he was going to bring Mirage. It was just asking for attention, and any attention on both of them was unwanted.

He had wished her a happy Mother's Day (she teased him, saying he was just some little brat she had raised, but he knew better; it meant a lot), and the two departed to visit Elliott's mother instead.

Park has met Evelyn Witt, famous engineer and mother of Elliott Witt. Park knew the story, the loss of Elliott's bothers and Evelyn's fluctuating memory. Apparently, she'd been good these past few days, but, for some reason, Elliott had convinced himself that she was going to forget, that she'd take one look at him and not recognize him.

It took everything in Park not to fear for the same.

Once they had walked up to the door, the trickster knocked on the door, and the two anxiously waited for her to answer. Elliott had a small bouquet of flowers in hand, trying to force his anxiety down and smile through it. It wasn't working; Park could see how fake it was, that it was edging just on the territory of a "Mirage smile."

Evelyn soon came into view, the door opening to reveal her smiling visage.

"Hey, mom!" Elliott said, grinning just from being able to see his mother. "Happy Mother's Day!"

"Elli, sweetheart, so good to see you," she said, though, when she laid eyes on Park, her expression changed a bit. "Oh? Who's your friend?"

The trickster felt his heart sink, looking over to Tae Joon, who looked a little surprised but ultimately unbothered. Park's own gaze moved to the other's, gently squeezing his hand again when he saw just how upset the other was.

"Um, I'm Hyeon Kim," the hacker said, looking over to Evelyn again and letting a smile of his own curl his lips. "I'm… Elliott's boyfriend."

"A boyfriend?" Evelyn gasped, immediately moving aside and waving for them to come inside. "Get in here! I need to know how someone managed to get my sweet boy to finally settle down."

Funny. She said that last time, Park thought sadly, following after Elliott, who hadn't wiped that dour look off of his face.

The visit had consisted of Elliott retelling the story of how he and Park got together, trying to recount every detail, whilst his mother listened on, enraptured by the tale. Park was rather silent the whole time, merely holding Elliott's hand.

Aside from that one incident, she seemed to be decently coherent. She seemed to only have forgotten Park for a little bit. It had shaken Elliott's confidence in the situation just a bit, but he recovered rather quickly, back to his chipper self and joking around with the woman, only for Evelyn to threaten to show his boyfriend his baby pictures. Elliott was quick to profusely apologize.

Park had actually been enjoying himself as well. Evelyn was respectful and asked him questions about his drone, the little device in a holster on his back. (Elliott had said he didn't need to bring it, but Park was paranoid prepared for any scenario, and his drone never left his side, even for friendly visits.) He had tossed it out for awhile and let Evelyn examine it a bit, the little drone beeping in amusement when she gently poked it. It ended up joining them for a portion of the visit, floating by Park's side and beeping little responses that made the Witts laugh.

They had even gotten through dinner without incident. Evelyn had demanded Park try her famous pork chops, saying that, though Elliott was an amazing cook himself, she had her own special way of making them. Park hadn't bothered to tell her he had already tried them, so he just nodded.

They joked during dinner, Elliott poking fun at Park and Evelyn telling him to respect his boyfriend, and, really, Elliott had believed the visit was going to go perfectly aside from the slight bump in he road.

They were just about to leave, and Elliott had thrown his jacket on, looking to where his mother was standing, and felt a pit form in his stomach when he saw confusion in her features.

"Did I invite you boys over?" she asked, and even Park felt his heart shatter at the question. "Ah. I guess it doesn't matter. I hope you two enjoyed your stay. Have a wonderful day."

Elliott stared at her for a moment, heartbroken, before he nodded numbly, swallowing down the tears threatening to spill over. "Y-Yeah… Yeah. Um… Happy Mother's Day."

She laughed softly. "That's today? Oh, I would love to celebrate, but I never did have any children."

Park watched as Elliott tried so hard not to break, the agony threatening to crumble his very being, before he shot her one of those famous Mirage smiles. It hurt to see, like a knife directly to his heart, a stabbing pain that throbbed and ached.

"Well… we'll see you another time."

With that, Elliott reached out for Park's wrist, and the hacker was pulled out of the house, the door shutting quietly behind them.

The ride back was quiet, somber. Elliott had been fighting back tears the entire time, gripping Park's hand with enough force to shake the trickster's own. He took deep breaths, idly rubbed his other's half hand with his thumb—anything that kept him from thinking about it, about how he was being forgotten by the last bit of family he had left.

When they got back to the complex, Elliott hurried to his room, catching a few glances from the other Legends. None of them knew about Elliott's mother. He didn't have the heart to be able to relay this knowledge to them, didn't trust them enough with it. They were only allowed to see Mirage, just like everyone else—everyone but her and Park.

The hacker had followed him, hot on his heels, and, once the door was shut behind him, he was immediately pulled into a bone-crushing hug, heard the broken sobs, felt the man so well held together finally crumble. He felt the warmth of tears, the shaking of such a strong frame. Park himself wanted to cry with him, because no one like Elliott deserved to ever be in so much pain, but he couldn't let that happen, couldn't let Elliott be weak without someone to be strong for him.

"I don't want to lose her, too…" the trickster managed between the sobs ripped from his throat, letting Park's gentle hands rub up and down his back, trying to relieve the tension there. "I can't—I-I can't lose mom, too… I've lost so many people already—I…"

Park remained silent, knowing there wasn't anything in the world he could say to make it all go away. He couldn't make Elliott smile, couldn't give Evelyn her memories back. He couldn't bring back Elliott's brothers, and he can't bring back the others he's lost. He can't fill the endless void of loneliness, the agony swirling like an endless vortex that's gained hold of his heart. When it all came crashing down, and Mirage wasn't enough to hide it, Park would do what he could for him.

He could only hold him, let him weep, hold him through it all. He wouldn't let him suffer alone anymore.

Even when his legs grew tired, when the other's hold grew too tight, and even when his arms started to hurt from trying to console him, he didn't move nor complain. He stood there and let him continue releasing the sadness he keeps so diligently bottled up.

He was quiet when Elliott was loud, just as it always was.