#I'm compiling everything in one post to make sure I won't lose it

[meanbossart]

A long over-due ask compilation (Art & Music)

It's vaguely based on a short story from the book "The Consumer" by Michael Gira, specifically "The Boss". I think it came up in conversation with a friend or something when I was picking a new username, so that's how we arrived at it - this was almost a decade ago so, my memory on it is a little hazy!

{MORE UNDER THE CUT]

HAHA thank you so much!!! Glad you enjoy what I do 😎🍻

I BELIEVE this little guide I put together over here might be helpful to you, also! I touched on pretty much everything you brought up.

As for reference material when it comes to facial expressions, I have a mirror next to my desk which I glance at often and make weird faces at LOL and for consistency, it's really a matter of learning to dissect and remember facial structure. It's just something you end up developing an eye for when you've done it for long enough! Naturally, if we're talking about drawing existing characters, it's always helpful to just look at some pictures of their mugs and take a minute to define what features about them make their faces recognizable - I touch on this at the link above as well!

I do plan on making a "drowstarion" (love that, by the way LOL) playlist eventually, life's just been kicking my ass and I hardly have the time 😭and when I do, I just wanna draw.

Otherwise I don't have any other playlists floating around at the moment, BUT the one my boyfriend made for his Vellioth comic can be found here, and it might scratch a similar itch!

Thank you! I believe this was in reference to this post. Something like that takes me about... An hour??? If we're talking just the colors, at least. Though that's a really rough estimate because I take a lot of breaks, so my sense of time when I work ends up pretty skewed. Even if the application of the colors themselves took less than 20 minutes I probably spent 2 hours just staring at it LOL.

My friend, I have no idea. I'm in a constant battle between "I want to draw more realistically" and "I want to simplify my art so I can draw more/faster". What you see is the result of that ongoing brain-tug-of-war.

Also, just the way I assume everyone else develops theirs - they see stuff they like and emulate it until their art is Frankensteinish enough to be it's own unique thing!

I'm far from a Type O Negative buff, BUT I'm happy to share some of my favorites with you! They're quite scattered across a couple of their albums so I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I would say October Rust is a good starting point.

In no particular order, these are my most listened tracks of theirs: -Love You to Death -Black N.01 -Haunted -She Burned Me Down -Can't Lose You -I Don't Wanna Be Me -Be My Druidess -September Sun -Tripping A Blind Man

Alas, I was one of those people who was already drawing in kindergarten 😅 though I would say I only started taking it seriously when I was around 15-16 years old. As someone who has tried their hand at several other hobbies since reaching adulthood, I get what you're saying that it can kinda feel like... You missed the wagon? I've felt that way about all kind of things lol

That said, I've seen adults managing to develop their art skills extremely fast and effectively before. Understanding where and how you need to improve, and how to follow lessons/guides best is something that is vastly improved by maturity and knowing how to best hone your time, attention, and resources - and those are skills we completely lack as children. So, I sincerely believe that as long as you commit yourself, you can definitely get to a point that you're happy with in a couple of years if not less.

JUST DO IT BUDDY we are all just people looking through a screen and you won't ever see, talk, or meet 99% of the folks who ever clap eyes on what you post. Whenever you start getting nervous about sharing something, take a minute to ask yourself why you're nervous, and if none of the reasons have any genuine substance besides being afraid of what people "might think", just go ahead and post it. You're no mind-reader after all, and if you are, I doubt you can hear what a guy from Argentina or wherever is thinking about the art you made.

Point is, nobody online can touch you 🤷and if someone doesn't like what you do, they can simply choose to not interact with it, and if they do you can block and move on. There are zero reasons for you to feel "bad" about putting up a doodle when our experiences on the web are so easily curated nowadays.

[yoonia]

I continue to share my music taste with you. LANY - BRB/Kiss, So, Soo pretty, It was love, 13, Good Girls, Bad Bad Bad, ILYSB; Halsey - both albums (she is too awesome for this planet) my ultimate fav songs by her Young god, Hurricane, Gasoline original and Oscar's Remix, Now or never, Eyes closed and Sorry; G-Eazy - Him&I, No limit; J.Cole - De javu, For whom the bell tolls, A tale of 2 sitiez, Power trip; My play list is really huge.

Frank Ocean - Nikes, Close to you, White ferrari, Pink+White, Godspeed; I’m fan of The Weeknd ever since he was no name for everyone around and here my favorite old songs - D.D., Professional, Montreal, Outside, The Knowing,Next, Echoes of silence, Wicked games, In the mood, The town, Girls born in 90’s, Or nah, Lonely star, Nomands (Ricky Hill). It’s not all yet. And the pleasure is all mine. I love to share my fav songs with people I like. 💜🌸💜

Also I’m a huge fan of Drake and I’ll send only old his songs - Marvin’s room, Wu-Tang forever, Cameras/Good once go, Make me proud, practice, doing it wrong, Shot for me, under ground kings,too much, now&forever, own it,4422; The subways - Rock’n’Roll queen; Kehlani - everything is yours, too much, not used to it, gangsta; Jaylien - Hotel Costes; Nav - Up, Some way; Some k-hip hop Sik-K - FLY, XYZ, A lil bit, interlude 24 7 365, Henny;

PARTYNEXTDOOR - Nobody, High hopes, Don’t run, Nothing easy to please, Persian rugs, Colours 2 whole album as well as Seven days; The Neighborhood- Honest, A little death, Dangerous, Roll Call, Fawless, Leaving tonight, Baby came home, #icanteven(ft French Montana), No gray, Scary love, Void, Blue, Daddy issues, Ferrari, RIP 2 my youth, Jealousy (ft Casey Veggies), H8M4CH1NE (ft Danny Brown); Im still far from over. 💁🏼‍♀️🤗The neighborhood - TRSL, warm (ft Raury), West coast, 93 to infinity, say my name/cry me a river; Jesse Rutherford - Born to be blond, Barbie&Ken, I think we should stay in love, Bff; The 1975 - Love me, A change of a heart, If I believe you, Please be naked, Somebody else, Loving someone; The Dream - Code blue, Omni to genesis overture, Heir Jordan, Vertuous (ft Wiz Khalifa), Cardinal sin, Bury; Michale Bible - Feeling good; Blood orange - Choose; Almost done. 😊

Khalid - Therapy, Location, 8teen; The chainsmokers - It won’t kill ya, Wake up alone, My type; Post Malone - Cold, I fall apart, Patient, Feel, Hit this hard, Fuck, Never understand, Git wit u; Big Sean - Bigger than me, Inspire me, Moves, Halfway off the balcony, Jump our the window, Bounce back, Voices in my head/Stick to the plan, Blessings (ft Drake); k r’n’b - DEAN - Bonnie&Clyde, Pour up, Instagram, I love it, I’m not sorry.

Crush - Hug me, Beautiful, I fancy you; Mino - Body (몸); Miguel - Remember me, Simple things (ft Chris Brown), Sky walker, Coffee; Kendrick Lamar - DNA, Humble, All the stars, Pray for me (ft The Weeknd), X; Jorja Smith - I am; Black Atlas - My life; Reo Cragun - On my way, Prom Night, Peso, Night Crawler; Franck Ocean - Chanel; 6LACK - Ex calling, PRBLMS; Tory Lanez - Say it

And there are some musicians who made music on my mother language. Скриптонит (he is my fav by the way. And his vibes kinda remind me of Yoongi) - Притон, Танцуй сама (I recommend to listen to this two songs one after another), Вечеринка (both versions of this song from MV and from first album), Бумажки, Лям, Сука тащит нас на дно, Я не улыбаюсь, Ламбада (ft T-Fest), Капли вниз по бёдрам, Напомни, Точно не нужно новых, Ага,ну, Не забирай меня с пати, Оставь их, Outro (ft 104, Benz)

I’m not done with my fav from my country yet. 💜 There are some Скриптонит songs left - Стиль, Где твоя любовь (ft Major Lazer), Вчера ночью, Зеркала, Слюни, 1000, Время возвращаться, Животные, Пацан, Положение, Внатуре, Трата времени. Done with him. Another fav is from Скриптонит crew is 104, Truwer and Jillzay. 104 - Королева, 104 & Truwer - Изи, Мерседес, Я знаю какая ты; Jillzay - Мечта, Бар «2 лесбухи», Ниа.

This one reminds me of Namjoon. His voice is really deep and cozy. Jah Khalib - Can’t get you out of my head, Порваное платье, Лейла, Каблук, Тату на твоём теле, Созвездие ангела, Кружимся в танце, Любимец твоих дьяволов, Мамасита; T-Fest - Улети, Цвети, Красота, Мне лень, Молодость, Молись за себя, Outro; L’one. His vibes are definitely like Hoseoks. L’one - Мистер хайзенберг, Адреналин, Авиарежим, Хоккеисты, Мир не прост, Я вижу город из окна, Якутяночка. There are a few musicians left.

Thomas Mraz - Rolling Stoner, Ultraviolet; ЛСП - Монетка, Тело, Лабиринт отражений, Канкан, Ещё один день, Бэйби; Мот - Ливень, Раз,два,три,шесть..., Капкан, Талисман, Понедельник-Вторник, Бенджамин, 24-7, Барон Мюнх��аузен, Когда исчезнет слово, Санторини; Егор Крид (this one is alike with Justin Bieber and JK) - Что они знают, Интро, Не могу, Потрачу, Засыпай, Самба белого мотылька, Берегу, Это все моё; That’s all I think. Hope you’re gonna like it. 💜🌸💜

Holy smokes!! This was such a ride! Thank you so much for blessing me with such an amazing list of music, my love! I’m gonna be making a whole separate playlist for this only. Half of these are the ones I enjoy a lot so I know we have a lot of similar taste in music. But I’m more interested in listening to the ones from your country because I know for sure I haven’t listened to them yet^^

Thank you again for sharing me these gems! I love it so much!

[regulus-blacks-lover]

regulus-blacks-lover prompt list

Just finished the last few requests for previous prompt lists, moving forward I'll be using this list. I pulled inspiration from a few different posts, but mostly I referenced this compilation made by linwritesif, pulling the prompts I was interested in writing for.

Send 1-3 prompts per request please! I'm interested to see what people mix and match. I mainly write Marauders era, but am open to writing Golden Trio era characters as well.

Prompts I have filled will be linked to the fics I wrote for them. You can find links to all my work on my masterlist.

ANGST 1 "please, just tell me you're okay." 2 "go! run! get out of here!" 3 "get behind me." 4 "stay here." 5 "hey. no, no, no. stay with me, just a little longer. you'll be okay." 6 "i'm so sorry i couldn't save you." 7 "i'm not ready to lose you." 8 "you were dead. i watched you die." 9 "i love you, but you're not mine." 10 "i'm sorry, have we met?" 11 "it was all i had left of them." 12 "please don't make me do this." 13 "because i care about you, okay??" 14 "i can't help you." 15 "you can't help me." 16 "you can't protect any of them." 17 "it's too late for me." 18 "i will kill you if i have to." 19 "you ruin everything you touch." 20 "just go do as you're told, like you always do." 21 "why would i believe you, after everything you've done?" 22 "whatever this is, it's over." 23 "i don't miss you like i thought i would." 24 "i know i fucked up. i know i did, but don’t shut me out anymore. let me in. please, let me in." 25 "i'm not what you think i am." 26 "i guess i never really knew you." 27 "you had your chance." 28 "you're nothing to me." 29 "it should have been you." 30 “why didn’t you kill me when you had the chance?" / “you know why.” 31 "just do this one thing for me and i promise you'll never have to see me again." 32 "i wouldn't do that if i were you." 33 "i didn't know where else to go." 34 "you deserve better than me." 35 "close your eyes, you don't need to see this." 36 "you were the one good thing left in the world." 37 "going home isn't an option anymore."

FLUFF/COMFORT 38 "i won't give up on you." 39 "of course i came back for you." 40 "i'll keep you safe." 41 "don't be afraid, it's just me." 42 "i don't think i've ever seen you cry before…" 43 "i'm right here. right here with you." 44 "my door is always open to you." 45 "don’t worry about it, i was already awake." 46 "you were crying in your sleep… you wanna talk about it?" 47 "i broke the lock. you were screaming." 48 "let me stay, please? i can make you breakfast in the morning." 49 "i just came to make sure you're okay." 50 "please don't leave me alone." 51 "it wasn't your fault." 52 "i knew you'd feel guilty; you do understand that i'd take a thousand wounds if it meant keeping you safe, don't you?" 53 "why are you really here? to mock me?” / “no. none of that. i came to be a friend, because it really looks like you need one right now.” 54 “i wish i never acted the way i did towards you. i’m sorry.” / “i know.” 55 "it's my job to keep you safe, yes, but you could work with me a little to make it easier?" 56 "no one is meant to be all alone. that’s not how humans are built. you don’t need to do all this on your own." 57 "you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you. you never did." 58 "you're the best person i know." 59 "you’re a good person. good people deserve to be safe." 60 "don't say that about yourself." 61 "making you laugh is the best feeling in the world." 62 "let's just stay here. grow old together." 63 "we're not at war anymore, you can come home now."

SMUT 64 “you know, you’re really hot when you’re angry.” 65 "listen, i’ve wanted to get you in bed since you first smiled at me, but we don’t have to do this unless you’re sure." 66 "i love it when you moan my name." 67 "let me give you a reason to stay in bed." 68 "can i help you out of that?" 69 "oh, i see what’s happening here. you’re bored. you want a little attention, huh?" 70 "what's the matter? you look a little flustered." 71 "you don't have to be so gentle with me." 72 "i just didn’t like the way they were looking at you. like you weren’t mine." 73 "we're in public, you know." 74 "if you don't stop teasing me like that, i'm gonna end up bending you over the couch and taking you right here."   75 "come on, i think you have one more for me." 76 "will you be good for me tonight, or do you plan to be disobedient?" 77 "if you don't stop trying to touch me, i'll tie you down." 78 "aw, you can be louder than that, can't you?" 79 "if you want to come, you'd better beg." 80 "i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck." 81 "can you feel what you're doing to me?" 82 "do you want [insert character] to join us?" 83 "more, please, i need more." 84 "stand still. keep this book balanced on your head. if it falls we start again." 85 "you stopped counting. start again from one, and this time no crying." 86 "did i say you could speed up? fuck me slowly or i’ll make you stop completely."

SCENARIOS 87 you and your friend are learning how to dance and are frequently paired up. the close proximity is really doing something to you 88 you’re clasping my necklace for me as i look into a mirror and woah, have you always been that hot? you’re behind me and your breath’s warm on my neck… 89 you looked miserable so i asked you for a dance and we’ve been dancing ever since 90 you’re so beautiful you infuriate me but our parents want us to dance 91 someone’s been giving me strange looks all night, will you pretend you're with me to get them off my back? 92 you're my arch nemesis but we have embarrassingly good sex 93 we shared a drunk kiss at a party and now i'm trying to figure out if it meant anything more than that 94 i think you're falling for my best friend and it's killing me 95 i know you always loved me when we were younger… am i too late to return the feeling? 96 i'm trying to memorize every line of your face in case this is the last time i ever see you. no matter what happens, i'll remember you 97 you accidentally fell asleep so i tucked you in 98 we bump into each other in a place neither of us is really supposed to be 99 your mail got mixed up with mine and now i'm wearing the sweater someone sent you for christmas 100 we find ourselves unexpectedly caught in a storm… want to share my umbrella as we rush inside?

[dog-day-morning]

THE TRUTH AND SHAKA ZULU WILL KILL YOU

In a once-popular commercial for Calgon detergent in the 1970s, a curious housewife probes the Chinese owner of the local laundry for the answer to one of the world’s eternal mysteries: “How do you get shirts so clean, Mr. Lee?” After peering over his shoulder (so as to be sure that his not-so-discreet wife isn’t standing near) the man turns back around, raises a finger to his lips and says through a smile, “Ancient Chinese secret!”

While the answer to the question posed to the laundry owner by the woman was a closely guarded secret — one that his sweet, no-nonsense wife happily ruined — it was neither ancient nor even Chinese in origin. But the TV spot famously tapped into one of the most enduring legends about the country whose Ming Dynasty rulers had a 16-to-26 foot wall built around it: the age-old traditions of secrecy.

And, like Vegas, what happened in China very often stayed in China, just get the hell out of Alkebulan!!! But if you insist on staying, you and your barbarian invader horde of Ghengis Khan, wannabe warlords can take that beatdown like Hirihito of Japan. You can indulge in Alkebulan's rich resources for a season or get on a junk boat and go back to China and rebuild your own country. If you stay in the Motherland you'll perish🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿. As the saying goes, s**t happens. Wash ya ass. Please, continue reading… my screwed up mind !!!

Take the Black Chinese [Moabites] who once made up the entire population of China prior to Esau's attempt at reclaiming the birthright God decreed would be Jacob's while in the womb through forced miscegenation "Raping of indigenous women." Do not be confused or mislead by this post. My research was sketchy to say the least. The portion of the population before China’s modern era does not register any indigenous Moabites, for example. The fact that you’ve never heard of them proves the point. Here comes the BS. But don’t worry. You’re not alone. China has some 1.3 billion people and nearly all are just as in the dark about them. Well, either that or a billion people all swore to never-ever-never air any [ahem] ‘clean laundry’ about black folks formerly having a place in China’s allegedly homogeneous society. That's a bunch of made up monkey s**t. Frankly, even an ancient culture with the bragging rights to the longest continually recorded history, another myth, is bound to miss a few things like a heart, and some effing genomes. The former presence — up until sometime in the 20th century — of Black people in pre-modern China is one of them. Fortunately, though, old photos taken throughout China around the advent of photography can help us to fill in today some of what the historians missed on purpose. I can't believe I'm posting this. 👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿 China’s Qing Dynasty, established by the Manchu people who ruled from 1644–1912, is described as having been a vast multicultural empire. But it appears multicultural could also be a more pleasant euphemism for multiracial. You people are like dogs, stop eating them?! Nothing illustrates this better than the Black and white photos taken by visitors from Europe in the mid-to-late 1800s. Really?!! John Thomson, an Irish photographer was one of the first to capture images that reveal a surprisingly more diverse makeup of then-contemporary China. In one of the most stunning photos taken by Thomson displayed above, six women dine together in a courtyard. Captioned “Manchu ladies at a meal,” the picture was taken in 1869 in the city of Peking (now Beijing). Seated at the center of the photo are two women: on the right sits a typical high class Manchu and on the left sits a smiling Black woman — who could easily pass as the mother of the RZA, the GZA, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, or any other member of the Wu-Tang Clan.

Apart from the physical differences in the women (including the two who were likely seated, but stood for the picture), what’s also remarkable is that when Thomson writes about them, he makes no distinctions — though there were both racial and class differences; some of them were most assuredly attendants or maids. But in the view of Thomson, they were all simply Manchu ladies sharing a meal on a day when he sought interesting subjects to photograph. I saw the photographs. The darker ones were inherently claimed to be lower case workers or servants, while the ones who looked like Lucy Liu were considered affluent, and well off. These racial disparities that evolved from hell are a sad reminder to a wound that won't stop bleeding because of man's inability to stop giving in to his base emotions. I plead cray cray, and insanity. Jacob, they would rather burn in hell for an eternity than let us live in peace for a day. God is coming back for Israel not the Christian Church that has been corrupted by the Evangelical, right wing, nut jobs.

1 Maccabees 3:48

And laid open the book of the law, wherein the heathen had sought to paint the likeness of their images.

If you study history, and read the Bible, you'll see how religion has been used to divide God's people which they're not. Some gentiles will walk into New Jerusalem, the vast majority of them won't. The Bible has been tampered with by people who are shepherds for the Devil. The Catholic Church is Satanic no matter how you cut it. The cathedral of Notre Dame had gargoyles mounted atop the edifice looking over the city of Paris, France. Do you find this to be a bit of a double minded mentality or a slap of defiance in God's face. What god do you worship? We want to know the truth from God. This world can't be trusted with an anorexic T-Rex. You'd call it a crackhead and dump him in the Labrea tar pits unless it was a female, at that point you would attempt to crossbreed it with a Chihuahua, and hope to domesticate this new animal which has disaster written all over his I'm shaking cause I need a fix quick, petrified ass. When Vatican City is destroyed let that be a warning from God to those who still have a sliver of faith in God, get a relationship with Him. Jacob, this writing piece reveals their unwillingness, and froward hearted, lack of sensibility by not telling the whole truth. Instead they give us a revised version of history that wasn't. They have been our teachers for the last 500yrs when we were there's previous. Either you learn from your mistakes or continue to repeat them.

Zechariah 8:23

Thus saith the Lord of hosts; In those days it shall come to pass, that ten men shall take hold out of all languages of the nations, even shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew, saying, We will go with you: for we have heard that God is with you.

If you hate being rebuked by a Black professor with a tenure ship, you'll hate being corrected by a Black child who has 5 degrees including a specialist in biochemical, ecological science, and psychology. You're ashamed because you're proud. There were great African kingdoms that educated the anglo European that's been shrouded in history. The book of Maccabees says the people who have mislead, and lied to us are as knowledgeable as a 13yr old using crib notes. I'm nuttier than a can of Planters, the truth is in you Jacob. Utilize the authority given to you. You will have to teach them as it was in the past. Everything from Bible scriptures, to aerospace, science engineering. The educational system is designed to hold back Black children, but the 3 people with the highest IQs in the world at the time was a 10yr old Black male, an 2 Black females under the age of 8. They were the youngest members of Mensa ever. This was about 4yrs ago. You can't stop God's anointing from glowing and glorifying Him and His people. Read the rest of this article and lose your mind. Its a nauseating and frustrating read. The truth will set you free. It ain't in these hood boogers

Written accounts by early Chinese historians tell us that the Tonkin region and its adjacent areas were once a hotbed of various non-Han Chinese peoples, including those from whom the Lao Cai girl descends. But with the southward advance of the Han Chinese, such groups were pushed even further south, or gradually assimilated into the dominant population. Historian Thant Myint-U writes in “Where China Meets India” that during the 9th century, the Chinese ethnographer Fan Cho compiled the Man Shu, or “Book of the Southern Barbarians.” Fan Cho describes there the varied peoples living in and around Yunnan. Included among them were the Wu-man or ‘Black southern barbarians,’ so-called for their dark complexions. And ironically, the French author of the Lao Cai photo had the image annotated with the Chinese word “Man,” and — sadly — with the Vietnamese “Xa” (or Kha), signifying servant or slave.

With this photo of a mother and her two children by John Thomson, taken on the streets of Peking (now Beijing), something finally clicked. For reasons that won’t be detailed here (as it would take far too long to explain) more than a decade of research into the peopling of Asia seemed to suggest that any black Chinese still living in the age of photography would likely all be found in southernmost China. Black Moabites still coexist in China to this day. This is a class study in you must be dumber than an incubator.

In his 1902 book The Boxer Uprising, American photographer James Ricalton includes this photo of several dozen men, many of them likely to be executed the next day for their part in the Boxer Rebellion. The latter was a bloody, anti-foreign and anti-Christian uprising that took place between 1899 and 1901; the 2006 Jet Li film Fearless was inspired by events that took place in the aftermath of the rebellion. The same is also true of the 1971 Bruce Lee film Fist of Fury. No actors in the aforementioned films — nor any other martial arts films set in pre-modern China — ever had actors resembling the non-Han Chinese mixed in above. About them, the racist Ricalton writes:

“This is truly a dusky and unattractive brood. One would scarcely expect to find natives of Borneo or the Fiji Islands more barbarous in appearance; and it is well known that a great proportion of the Boxer organization is of this sort; indeed, how dark-skinned, how ill-clad, how lacking in intelligence, how dull, morose, miserable and vicious they appear!” I'm willing to bet you 5 million in Bitcoin that I don't have, a lifetime supply of opium, and 2 happy ending massages daily that this bougie French bastard is rotting in hell praying to white Jesus that Rumiel won't screw him up the wahoo tonight. Tickle his sack!!! Like Thomas Cromwell the powers that be went to great lengths to cover this history in ChinaTown. You can't hide the truth from a people that's tired of being dictated to, oppressed, lied on, abused and persecuted by everybody, and discredited for the contributions they've made to this damnable planet. As previously stated we don't want crumbs [reparations] we want the whole planet Black before you, and the I hate n**gers brigade showed up, that includes Moo Goo Gai Pan. As soon as his Chicken fried, Bat Man eating, pancaked backside came along, and gained some freedoms, he started emulating his zaddy, he became drunk with xenophobia like the rest. If you hate my commentary tell ya boy Biden or his Amerikkka is not a racist country VP, Kamala Harris. She's next in line to preside as Pontius Pilate over this damnation unless Biden loses his dementia. Its a joke, think or buy a vowel. If that doesn't work, swap some Budha, and kiss Mr. Nasty bye bye.

[spaceishuge]

Facts and way too big feelings

/sorry to get all rambly and personal on such a funky site, but i've made the executive decision to post this anyway. 473 words, 8 paragraphs and written in under an hour. first draft situation so forgive any weird flow/structure issues. if your into reading a strangers late night notes app stuff for some reason, this is on the same level/

I like to research, and I like to write. That's how I handle pretty much everything. at the very least it's a distraction, at it's best it solves whatever problem I'm facing. this had been the only way I knew to deal with big heavy stuff when I felt I had no one else to turn to. So it was near horrifying when it didn't work right when I needed it to the most. All my carefully compiled research, an email that went through four or five drafts, a perfectly curated list of resources and proof and..it was for nothing. it didn't matter, in the end, what research paper I cited, what blog from a medical group I linked, whatever helpful resources I could offer paired with a detailed explanation of what where why. I didn't realize I was throwing facts on what ended up being an emotional situation. I was in my early teens and had written a whole essay on why I believe I'm trans and what we can do about it. I was confident it would work out, why wouldn't it? I spent weeks on it, and the facts seemed clear as day nothing could make me *not* trans, surely they'd read every word and come to the same conclusion, and everything would be fine from then on out. They had no sound reason not to believe me as far as i could tell. Except what was just a bunch of neat facts for me, was a living nightmare for them. It was surreal, presenting something i was downright proud of (so many hours of work! so many sources and citations!), and my mom breaking down at the first line. Neither my mom or dad ever finished reading it. I'm not sure they got past the introduction. Nothing productive ever came of it. They firmly believe I'll drop dead from HRT, that eventually I'll snap out of this 'delusion' and regret everything. How do you address a problem when facts don't work? When someone won't listen to plain facts, firmly believing it's all been twisted by some political conspiracy?

it can feel like a stab to the heart, trying to make an emotional plea for something I felt could've been so simple. When a fact turns into a debate, and your happiness and health depend on you winning, it can all feel nearly tragic. Like it's a losing battle, a cautionary tale about not saying the right thing. Sometimes I wish there was some grand old wizard to declare what's right and what's wrong. The wise mentor on a hero's journey that provides a crucial piece of information that saves the day. Instead, I'll just have to keep trying to detangle this contradictory mess of facts and very big feelings, hoping I'll find the right words and the solution to a deadly puzzle

[the-firebird69]

Tonight should be the night where they go after Cerritos that's not you have to go to Iran first so sitting up there he's doing nothing things and stasis. But they are going to Iran because I heard what our son said you like a full plate of everything but they just sit there it's horrible but then again it's a blessing in disguise. We're moving on them in their areas huge ones empty today but they're huge ones left so we're putting in more castles we built more today not less a new toilet bunkers and build more huge ones too 30 miles they are gigantic anybody challenges those things is a nut or something wind up a whole bunch of idiots in the wall near Kansas base and nobody came so we started attack on Cheyenne and we're going to take it over I'm tired of listening is idiots don't set up another huge base he says they can suck wind sure we can't be seen as running but they start bringing the shattered amount from Texas we're going to pummel it and we might backtrack to Kansas will come in I'm going to do that we want them out of there we have to do it somehow we have other plans too and proceeding with it right now

Thor Freya

I'm tired of seeing these people think of these a****** faces this a****** to neener this hassle talk these assholes went out and smoked himself the tune of just millions of septillions huge areas opened up it was equal to half the size of the United States but globally so spots all over the world that empty and they're not coming back to them off as we speak humongous walls are being built their gigantic and you are getting concrete from all over the place including their ships their Bridges or highways we pull it all out they're highways have enough concrete to build a wall around the entire country of Germany and I was in Germany and we're not doing that now but when you run into a country like that you rip it all out cuz you don't need to drive around you're not there and Max thinks his plans going on or something so you can be the cheapest weird loser ever it's like a nobody it doesn't know it keeps calling someone who looks like a nobody sometimes acts like it but nobody what a weird situation coming from Mac instead of saying I'm going to have nothing left cuz we're going out there to Cheyenne and puddling it and start saying you're going to have nothing left to our son since I don't care what's happening to you cuz you don't really help me to pestering me eat the freaking basically freaking retard listen so he's going to pay for it and we're at him now there's a huge number of assholes out here they're all dreaming of being John the rema Lord you don't have any time for it they got to go so we're racing them and we hear them laughing about stupid things you're going on in my son's little place there's a teeny little house it's time for him to get something better than that I'm trying pretty good we went ahead and posted it too and find out several ways to get the money and we see people doing it all day long and we're going to go ahead and use it there's too many things going on for us to have to rely on you the unreliable and we don't want to keep your computers going that's the way it is you don't care about anything so to worry we don't want to worry this much it's way too past it when you're going around losing stuff and not caring so let's get some money and you won't care so he says to it says they're full of s*** in a way you can get like 40 Grand tomorrow and they won't care they said they're looking at them trying to have those come up with something like we're somehow guilty for having money some real b*******the the sheriff out here does a hard job it's a hard job anywhere then they added to their misery over and over and compiled a pile of stuff on themselves then to decide to make it worse and worse and cannot tolerate the behavior or accept it they got to get out go somewhere else there's one guy can't stand them doesn't know what to do we can't tolerate them in any way tell us the cops to f*** off right now they get really pissed off and we have to do stuff to him doesn't care it has to be done he says and is absolutely right just sit there and look at him.

It's all about them too I never do anything wrong misunderstanding between them retards are normal and it's idiocy is supposed to have him saying what battles will happen and all this stuff already know about most of it

This kind of thing is far less than absorbing no we pay attention we go after tons of them and they won't be many of you left shortly believe me it's not that tough man Tommy favino and Mac on the bases tanks and tanks and tanks I take it damn it up your ass and leave me alone leave me alone I don't want to know you I don't want to know you back then you're horrible people horrible go find your Shangri-La on base. So Jason heard us and threatening of his head and I'm going to take action he said so he killed him and he died he gets back up and killed him and he gets back up and he killed him then he drove him somewhere else by having to walk there and just had him sit there and they put him in jail cuz they're trying to take the monster out so we had him kill everybody with the song one day is going to get up and go I shouldn't have done anything you know all this stupid s*** to me you can't figure out what's happening you're going to bring a new life into the universe

I can't believe it's that bad can you nobody is listening to a f****** word I say all these people have this dumb f****** s*** to say back I can't believe it this new I do the same thing but much worse feels like this this is f****** hell you people are stupid why is this guy have a job doing anything so s*** why does he have a job anywhere all he does is sit there piss me off well you're wrong you.

don't even know the answer to that question I only know what's going on they're fighting us and doing that yeah

These guys too he says one word to him and they think he's the best friend they can come by and take advantage of them back stabbing get like a grab bag of s***

Our son feels that there's a conspiracy by a whole bunch of warlock to give control to the AI and seeing all over the place and BG was a major proponent of it doesn't seem to be happy with it now and they're not trying to tell anybody cuz they really are stupid and don't know if it's happened or not and you references things like the Hudson and he can't figure it out and glasses and Galactica says who's running those you can't tell it kills all my clean off these stupid robots and that's who did so he's trying to fight for his life and you're bothering him at the same time and the robots are killing you off rapidly but causing this fight to a degree but really a bunch of assholes Max made it impossible for you to get out of it cuz of all the tanks and other stuff he plans and things society over with I really could be a setup by these robots to keep setting him up

Thor Freya