#I'm being extra but this was really bumming me out tbh

[storges-oranges]

Had a flu and lost my sense of taste and smell for like 2 days abd ut came back this morning. God bless the mellow sweetness of wheat that lays down on my tongue with each cereal like an adult lays on a flower field. God bless the frank taste of my late, the bitterness of the coffee spearheading its way through my mouth and soothed immediately by the reassuring hug of warm milk, trailing behind it, like hearing something right after you saw it.

God bless the boldness of oud, that overpowers everything else with ease.

[khaoala]

Sooooo fucking rude that the kiss was just in Pam’s head! I mean the way pam grabbed her chin before kissing her 🫠🫠🫠🫠. C’mon!!!!! Wish she would’ve ran after rak and kissed her in the rain.

I think at the beginning i said that i really didn’t care about kawi or feel bad for him but im rescinding that statement. Between what’s happening with pamrak and being left in the dark ABOUT HIS DICKBAG DADS AFFAIRS!! i do feel bad for the guy. Doesn’t seem like there’s anyone for him to end up with but i hope he’s at least happy by the end 😔.

Dickbag dad with his affairs(i feel like this basically confirms the nene theory) and the mother who says this is just what happens when you’re an adult 😒😒 I would’ve left too!!!😤😤😤

Ok let’s go back to pamrak….

Pam telling kawi she can’t spend time with him BECAUSE SHES TOO BUSY HAVING A FAMILY MEAL WITH HIS SISTER. Thought the dinner was super cute and of course the whole “you’re the first friend Pam’s ever brought over” 🥰 [meeting grandma: rak-2 kawi-0] Rak even got to be part of the after dinner teeth brushing party! She’s basically part of the family now!!!!

Ok i think that was everything.

No Wait!!!! Next week oat and nene finally officially meet, I hope oat melts nenes cold heart.

-🤫

just a couple of fun facts. i tried replying this one yesterday but my computer crashed and i didn't save, so i was slightly too desolate to re-write everything again, but here we are now with attempt #2. the second fact is that i received your message before i watched the ep, so i knew they'd "kiss" again, and even then!! i was still so bummed that they were kissing so pretty and suddenly the scene comes back to reality and pam is just being extra gay in her head (ngl tho, with how much rak loves the rain, i would be so disappointed if we didn't get a pamrak kiss in the rain. i'm hoping and waiting for it to happen).

i'm glad you're seeing the light now and at least feels sorry for kawi. i feel bad that the only feeling i have for him these days is pity (guy is left in the dark about all important family matters and his girlfriends are all lesbians and he has caused the fall-out of oat and her mother (?), he's following the career path that was stipulated to him by his father who's a major dick. this man is one step from a mental breakdown). i do hope he finds happiness in the end.

i said this before and i'll say it again. i hope dad ends up dead in ditch. they didn't give me that in pluto and instead had gardening father redeeming himself with 0 effort, I DON'T WANT THAT HERE! either make him actually suffer the consequences of his actions or kill him this bitch (let's add kliao's dad from reverse with me in the endless list of despicable gl dads, too).

tbh, now that we look at it, we're going to ep 5 this week and pam is breaking up kawi already and rak will confess this next ep too, which i believe means pamrak dating era coming with absolute nothing to get in their way, right? ofc, nene will be too distracted with aot to go along with her revenge plan, it'll be fine 😀😀. i love how much grandma and rak bonded about food because if there's something i know about asian grandmas is that you need to know how to eat well to get on their good side. rak has grandma on the palm of her hand, i can guarantee.

also, not to be a hater, but i hope oat has a long and thoughtful talk with nene and explain to her that the fact that kawirak's dad being a dick isn't transferable to the kids. maybe it is to the mother but i can see why she's still with him (the money and favors take you a long way), but the kids have nothing to do with it. they aren't inherently evil, nene, my love sweetheart, little angry princess. do we know what's nene's profession btw? bc i look at the way she dresses and i immediately think lawyer and if that's the case, someone needs to take this girl's license.

[ohbo-ohno]

ok ik conquerer!ghost au is pretty set in at least the basic lay out (like princess + knight +conquerer) but imagine some extra spice in the form of og royal family IS fully killed in the takeover but Ghost manages to snag a commoner that looks exactly like the dead princess and elevate her as a figure head. it works perfect for ghost cause now he can start molding the perfect royal partner without all that "you killed my family" nonsense the other one would have blabbed about 🙄😒

get some extra angst of johnny thinking his princess was killed only for ghost to seemingly bring her back from the dead!! she may not remember everything but that's ok she's alive :))) and now johnny is extra loyal to ghost and so so happy to have his princess back. Ugh the concept of these two people in his mind being transformed into something so holy and sacred after the "resurrection" but it's really just some replacement (commoner maybe treats johnny better than his princess so he's in heaven).

commoner reader who is in constant conflict bc like..... ya girl's been kidnapped by a terrifying skull man but she also no longer has to work until her hands bleed in the fields so the back and forth of "my life is better AND worse and now I have to learn state-craft while this brute fucks me over the war table in fine silk" oooooo the vibes are 🤌

I love conquerer!ghost au but sometimes the princess position (while absolutely delicious) gets me bummed cause it can feel so hopeless so I feel like this spin has a little bit more.... I guess perks for the commoner?? bc they were already so low on the food chain so despite still having to submit to mean ol' ghost it's still a step up? I'm sorry this is getting long, but might I also request the 🤖 emoji if it hasn't been snagged?

this is a cool twist, but tbh a bit too angsty for my tastes!! i feel like johnny (or at least conqueror au johnny) wouldn't be able to get past this random woman replacing his princess, and he'd surely connect the dots at some point and realize that's what had happened

i do really enjoy a kidnapping romance where the kidnappee is taken out of a really bad situation, so it's like a "what's better, freedom or comfort" situation. there's some really interesting angst and mental turmoil there that can be fun to dig into!

[rubberduckyrye]

You don’t need to post this, but thanks for caring about antisemitism on a deeper level beyond that whole Kokichi’s hat thing. Just saw a different post that really bummed me out so seeing you being thoughtful about it cheered me up (which is funny bc Gonta’s backstory never personally bothered me, probably bc my standards are low and at least the reptites portrayed as nice there & a video game reference lol)

NGL Anon I'm morbidly curious about the post you saw, but aside from that--

I actually want to give @jacksmusesdrv3 credit here, because for the longest time I did not want to really engage with the antisemitic stuff at all--which while my intentions were good (as in I wanted to just kind of erase them from my rewrite), it made me blind to other antisemitic notions in the narrative, a lot of them being philosenitism, which in this case, is a very specific breed of antisemitism that idolizes the stereotypes instead of condemning them/using them to fear monger.

I knew that the hat was likely a reference to WWII Germany (I still can't believe military officers wore hats with SKULLS ON THEM like how can I take you seriously you are LITERALLY being supervillans in a cartoon I cannot--) and I knew the Reptites were suspiciously similar to the "lizard people" thing, but there's quite a few a bit of philosenitism in it--things I plan on trying to remove if possible.

I also have been discussing the ableism (pardon the extra salt for the post with the links, this one's personal) and racism in the narrative of V3, both of which I also plan to either address or reassess.

I am very neurodivergant (AuADHD), so the ableism is something I face first hand in my daily life--but the racism and antisemitism aren't things I experience, which is why I want to learn about them and rework the story of Twins AU to be rid of them, if possible. Especially since the ableism is baked into the character interactions and Gonta's character arc so that's hard to remove, but the racism in Angie's writing is mostly backstory related so that can easily be reworked and changed. (Namely, I'm stuck on if I should keep the deities she refers to as the Atua, since I'm not sure if that's interchangeable with the Kupua, which is specifically Native Hawaiian, where as Atua refer to deities that aren't so specific.)

For the antisemitism and antisemitic-philosentism, I'll need to do more research on. I know there is something with Kirumi's last name being a reference to a prime minister of Japan, which has something to do with philosentism/antisemitism, but I don't 100% recall it atm.

Still!

I try to be very, very mindful of these sorts of things in fiction, as I want to create a story that isn't going to perpetuate stereotypes or harmful rhetoric, which will isolate readers of those groups from my work. I never have fun seeing ableist shit in media, in fanfic, so I apply that same logic to everything. A Native Hawaiian won't like seeing Angie's narrative racism. A Jewish individual would feel uncomfortable seeing antisemitic characteristics, even if they are being glorified. So I try to eliminate those things from my own rewrite.

And TBH, I am a little ashamed of myself for wanting to shut down any discussion about the antisemitism/philosentism in the past, because I didn't realize it was making me ignorant. I thought I recognized all of it and that was arrogant of me. I have a lot to learn, and I will always be learning! So I've been slowly working myself up into discussing it and understanding what about V3 has the antisemitism and the antisemitic-philosentism, so I can rework that in my own story.

But yeah--sorry for the long response, I just kinda started rambling a bit.

[lynne-monstr]

hi, it's the anon who's stopping by! how have you been?? I hope you're having a nice week. this last month has been very hectic for me, work was very busy, which both helps with my situation and doesn't. on the one hand work is pretty much the one thing that's going okay in my life rn so focusing on that helps distract from everything else. on the other hand, when all of a sudden work becomes a struggle too, it's tough. but as always, it's best to focus on the positives (easier said than done lol). for example: it's summer! I was actually able to wear a dress to work today, finally!!

I wanted to ask: I remember you mentioned a while ago that you recently cracked the code to making salads tasty, and I was wondering if you could share some tips that worked for you? I'm trying to eat more healthily bc I haven't been doing a very good job of that lately, and I struggle with vegetables tbh. I like the idea of a salad in theory but when I try it it's either bland or straight up acidic (looking at you, lettuce). I don't mind making it "more unhealthy", veggies are still veggies. I just want to be able to eat them without the experience being absolutely miserable 🥲

as always sending you good vibes! I always enjoy seeing you on my dash! have a lovely week!! 💞

hi anon, it' good to see you again! I've been super busy lately, mostly work stuff. we're gearing up for a big deadline and so the meetings and the business travel have ramped up. my flight home on friday got super delayed and I got in late, and i think it's a sign that I'm getting older because the late night really threw off my whole weekend. I had plans to get out and explore but i just bummed around for 2 whole days, which was admittedly pretty nice.

I totally feel you on the busy work stuff being both a blessing and a curse. work was a great distraction for me when I needed it but lol I wish it came without all the stress and the pressure and the rest. it sounds like you're hanging in there, and I am sending lots of good vibes your way! looking on the bright side is SO HARD but ughhh it's one of those things I've found actually pays off. I hope work stays relatively chill for you.

and yay for summer! (it's my favorite time of year). dresses are the best! it's always so fun to break out the summer wardrobe. i've been living in long flowy skirts for a few weeks now!

okay salads! I love tasty salads. I should probably preface this with the confession that i genuinely enjoy vegetables. but i hope you can still find some of this useful. my biggest issue with salads was that i'm lazy and also hate spoiled browning salad mix, so those were the two big problems i was looking to solve for myself. i'll put my process in bulletpoionts because i love bulletpoints.

chopping the lettuce! game changer.

baby spinach stays fresh the whole week. also i can use it in morning fruit smoothies to get extra veggies.

i chop all my veggies (usually red bell pepper, cucumber, tomatoes, feta cheese) at the beginning of the week because i'm lazy. also, i roast extra veggies at dinner and use the leftovers in my salads for variety

i supplement fresh veggies with canned: heart of palm, artichokes, baby corn, roasted red peppers

carbs in the salad! couscous, pearl couscous, orzo, rice. it makes it more fun and gives good texture

also beans! (omg butter beans in salad is amazing!). canned because i'm lazy

crispy tortilla strips! yum

for protein, i braise a batch of chicken thighs and shred them up , and pop them in the salad as needed. also i keep grocery store frozen fried chicken in the freezer for if I run out of fresh.

i don't like completely cold salads so i gently reheat the chicken before i use it to give it some temperature variation

homemade tahini lime salad dressing because it's delicious. also I will 100% take the leftover salad dressings from catered work lunches.

I guess that's a longwinded way of saying that i make sure to actually put stuff I like eating in my salads. I switch things up for variety, but the combo of chopped lettuce, carbs, protein, veggies and a good dressing goes a long way. tbh, a good dressing is 100% the most important part of a good salad. I stopped buying those crappy low fat salad dressings because they taste like cardboard. I either make my own or splurge on the nice full fat ones and use them in moderation.

good luck with your salads! i've definitely felt a lot more energetic since i got better about eating more fruits/vegetables. (granted, some of that might also be the vitamin supplements I started taking on the advice of my doctor.) i hope it works for you!

thanks for stopping by, I was wondering how you were doing and I'm so glad to hear the updates!

[drbtinglecannon]

Hello, friend!!! I hope you have been well, and your cats too 💖

Nowz for the TOH ask game... 2, 8, 16? 👀

Thank you, pal, you're so sweet and I hope you've been doing well too! 💖✨

2. Favorite episode of season 2?

Tbh S2 fucks so hard I'm not sure I can pick a favorite. I have to cheat by picking one for both the first half and second half of the season haha!

S2A might have to go to Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door, the amount of speed running plot development all thanks to Hooty my favorite weirdo, it was just insane. I remember when the episode first aired and how much it made my brain boil from what it revealed about Eda's backstory and the growth of accepting the beast resulting in her hot harpy form, the bits of world building with King's situation that continued on from what Echoes of the Past started, and obviously Lumity became canon. I genuinely expected it to take the entire show for them to start dating but no they got together about half way into the show, all thanks to Hooty meddling in everyone's business. Hooty was always one of my favs and the way he was treated in S1 always bummed me out, so this episode both addressing how excluded he felt while also having him (kinda accidentally) provide the much needed pushes for each of King, Eda, and Luz was just 🤌 the ending too omg the way everyone freaked out about him eating that letter then womp womp it ended up being a good thing he did haha

S2B I have to pick Any Sport In A Storm.

Listen. Listen. This episode is such a comfort, ok? It's got Hunter development where he finally gets to socialize (in a healthy way) with other kids, Willow gets her design update AND she's finally genuinely developing confidence in herself, "what was that?" "I SAID IT WAS COOL >:(", Skara and Viney join the group (which also allowed Skara to develop past just being a popular mean girl), "ice pack for Steve" "Steve is beginning to regret his choices", and of course, Darius. Darius my beloved, the small backstory reveal with the previous GG, "Little Prince (derogatory)" he really does canon use cute nicknames to be hostile, the abomination PJs & also the bubble bath storyboards, the DEPTH of what it meant for Darius to intervene in Hunter's kidnapping attempt so now all the responsibility falls onto him when HE DIDN'T NEED TO DO THAT HE DIDN'T EVEN LIKE HUNTER AND IT PUT HIM IN RISK INTERVENING, "I can wear this proudly now...right?" "Can you?", his extra abomination lounge chair while he gingerly kept messing with the EE, "You're gonna need to be a little more clever than that" *12 seconds later the ship crashed and is on fire all because he was too much of a difficult bitch to Tell These Actual Children he wasn't really kidnapping them*, "Do you have any idea what I'm capable of?!", "I'm impressed! I had you all wrong!", the first head pat, the scroll, " But you could still use a sewing lesson." Like. I still can't believe the pay off of that moment. I immediately fell in love with the dynamic between Hunter & Darius at the end of that episode and for the rest of the show they were never able to connect on screen again it was always a "just missed each other" thing, until FINALLY in the finale Darius ruffles Hunter's hair and then asks him about his dumb wolf shirt and 4yrs later he's Hunter's dad. I was fighting for my life for Dadrius since HM (I was more Uncle Darius after ASIAS until HM) and it PAID OFF LIKE!!!! 😭🤌

Anyway can't forget to praise the Huntlow there too, with the parallel to Willow's parents the gold rimmed glasses the "half a witch" parallels and of course, Hunter's first blush towards Willow on the bi flag colored sky. The Lumity subplot was also really funny, especially in hindsight considering Boscha's issues in FTF haha. A 10/10 episode overall

8. Favorite other character?

Ok so since this one explicitly excludes hexsquad, hagsquad, and palisman, I think I have to choose Hooty. Hooty was one of my favorite characters back in S2A, he's so hilarious and I love his relationship with Lilith so so much, they're so much like Darius & Eber to me haha!

16. Favorite Raeda moment (if you ship it)?

OK SO my pal Lolly really articulated this scene from KT perfectly here

BUT I also have to talk about the fight against Darius & Eber in Eda's Requiem because that scene of them back to back playing Their Song while Eda's curse mutated the magic around them and was going to KILL THEM rewrote my brain chemistry. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THEM.

Just the palpable longing of them both looking over their shoulders at each other as they played. The animation, the music, the symbolism of it being Their Song, the shared history, the way they were willing to die together for the cause of fighting Belos and the subsequent hindsight reveal of how Fucking Stupid it would've been if they did --between King taking Eda's last name & officially becoming her son, Darius & Eber were also rebels trying to save Raine, ultimately all 3 of Raine Darius & Eber would've just been replaced in time for the DOU, like on every single level this plan was STUPID but the longing gay angst these two have for each other almost made them do it anyway.

Raine's voice cracking at the "You have kids?!" was as funny as it was heartbreaking, because it was just another reminder of how much of their lives they've been apart and how Eda finally let others in but Raine wasn't there for it nor was she ever able to do so for them before. Eda's sputtering about "Well they're not mine mine" like she WANTS THEM TO BE but she can't admit it and is still being closed off and Raine quoting Eda in reference to the scene they already quoted earlier in the episode, all cultivating in Raine letting go of Eda's hand -- like they let go of their relationship years ago -- all to save her ;___; idk pal this episode fucked me up so much when it aired and my partner still teases me when I rewatch it like "you're watching the gay episode again huh"

Anyway yeah. I have a lot of love for this show haha

[heartshattering]

So I'm having to stick to this 'caregiver schedule' now, because my aunt said she wanted my mom to give her a list of everything I do throughout the day, and they concluded that I'm "not doing enough". Even though I'm an adult who works from home, and who doesn't leave the house. I barely even go outdoors except to take the puppy outside and last time I did that my mom thought I took too long so I've had to cut down on how much time I spend outside with him, too.

Anyway, my aunt wants me to wake up before 5:30 AM every day? (Because she heard that one of those self-help/financial coaches said you're supposed to do that) I have to be in the room with my mom at all times (there's a second bed in my mom's room so that is where I sleep at night anyway, but I usually do my work and hobbies in my own room).

There's nowhere to set my laptop up in my mom's room, and the battery life doesn't last long enough for me to be able to work on it without powering off early. Plus my aunt and mom don't want me working anyway since my mom's health is supposed to take priority over me having a job. I'm going to try my best to keep my job but it is going to involve a lot of sneaking around so tbh it wouldn't surprise me if it becomes too hard to keep up with. And now I have to give up some of the things I was hoping to do this year, like the novel my friend and I were writing together, or my idea to open commissions for extra money.

I have timers every hour for things I need to do for my mom, I don't even get a full hour for myself anymore. And again, I have to report this shit back to my aunt because otherwise she thinks I'm a liar, a "lazy bum", and that I'm "not doing anything".

Again, you would think I'm a kid from how I'm treated. The good(?) thing is that I don't go out places with friends and I'm not allowed to work outside home anyway so I'm not missing out on anything happening in the 'outside world' but I do miss just being able to work in my room, or being outside with the puppy for more than 10 minutes, just windows of time where I have a bit of privacy and don't feel like a damn servant. Also I have severe sleep issues and have been dealing with really uncomfortable medication changes that affect my sleep... but yeah, if I'm seen "sleeping at the wrong time" then of course it's just that I'm "lazy/irresponsible" instead of the fact my body is trying to adjust.

[dio-the-thot-exterminator]

reflections n stuff

Post about me trying to explain some of the projects I got going on. Hopefully, it makes sense lol.

I guess to start, most of my writing and projects are…comedic? I just want to embody tomfoolery. Some of the projects I was creating with my coauthor, I've mentioned them before. (LOL if you saw my rant that one time), (and it wasn't just once my ass can not stop mentioning it) (yes I'm mad). They basically stopped contributing so ALL the projects were put on hiatus. Yeah :/ but I refuse to let all those years of hard work sit inside a Google doc never to see the light of day again. So here we go. 

TSO22 (Completed)

Hiii its me and my story. Titled semi-censored bcuz i uploaded it to YouTube and you can literally search it up and I'm not ready for that yet.

Anyways My second short film!!!! With real actors and a production team so exciting!! It's about a witch who seeks revenge on some children who wronged her! She casts a spell on a toy plushie and makes it come to life. She sends the toy to kill Fuzzy Lilypill, Large Plumjum, and Final Baddie (judging by their names you can tell this is extra goofy). Honestly one of the best things I've ever done, it was so much fun. Even though the film is hella cringe (kind of the point) it makes me laugh…like a lot and that's all that matters.

I need to tell everyone about the top-tier advertising like the way everyone pitched in to help was wild. We had lil signs and business cards and everything! The advertising was how I was able to book the actor who played Final Baddie!!

And ugh the bloopers in this film are so silly they were a lot of them bcuz nobody here has ever starred in a film before and it was a little awkward at first. But once everyone understood that this was just for fun and not really that serious we got some good content.

(Now I also need to do some complaining like I literally had to get down on my hands and knees and beg people to join. It was not fun. Why doesn't anyone want to create things anymore so sad) 

The Internship (Partial)

Yes yes yes all me. This was a script that I had written for another short film! It's self-explanatory.

The Killer finds out that the internship they applied for was given to one of their classmates! This can not be! Filled with rage the killer kills that bitch and the victim's friend group because of jealousy and whatnot. Since the first pick is…well dead, the killer gets a callback and now the internship is theirs! Wow what a happy ending. I’m actually living for this script :)

I did multiple rewrites and created some google form sign-up sheets for people to join the project.

created a storyboard of the film (will search for it later).

And I started creating a custom score for it as well.

Unfortunately, no one wanted to join :( so it never came to life. That being said, once I find an animation app and learn how to animate, it's over for you hoes. And I guess this goes for all my future films lmao. (unless I actually find people to star in them praying I do tbh). 

Beastly Bordello (wip)

This was a project we (me and my coauthor) started in middle school. It went through lots of rewrites like Jesus Christ. The first pass was garbage. I was crying when I reread it omg.

Anyways. How do I say this with the least amount of spoilers? There are 3 “books”, The first book draft is “complete”, we have the whole thing outlined, the first 2 chapters ready, and just need to fill out the meat of the texts a bit more.

This part of the story follows the human characters. We have the main character Debbie Smith, she is basically a bum loser 😷 and everyone hates her (it’s giving depressed!abused!timid! reader). We have Meredith Castaño who is like her cool best friend 😎 (I've drawn her with Dina. A side character who may or may not be her boo). And then we have Becky Maurice, Hanna Peters, and Lisa Blake (We call them BHL) . They are like the mean girl trio 🤬. Book 1 is meant to be a typical 2000s high school movie. Dare I say a “coming of age story” smh.

Becky is out for revenge and will stop at nothing to make Debbie's life a living hell (we are just bullying Debbie for 200+ pages).

On top of that, we discover that Debbie's homelife is not so good 😞 with her abusive parents 😭 and terminally sick sister, how will Debbie move on to the next phase of her life as she approaches high school graduation and adulthood 😱?

Omg the girls are camping! How fun! (totally not a slasher movie waiting to happen and 100% does not have a musical mid-way through).

People are dying 🪦!! Kids are going missing!?!?! Does this have anything to do with Debbie’s mysterious nightmares 🧠!? She's always had them, as she’s gotten older they’ve become more frequent, almost every day, and she even starts seeing 👀and hearing 👂 things while she's awake?

That's so scary. Oh nooooo she knows doom approaches and she is powerless to stop it :( silly silly complicit Debbie.

Like damn her life couldn't get any worse…and then BAM bitch it does!!! OMG supernatural 👹tingz and bloods🩸and crips 🔵 murder 🔪and oh shoot people are being kidnapped. Yikes.

This is book 1, Book 2 and 3 are not written yet (and honestly might not be written as I do not have my coauthor helping and it is a very ambitious project). As I said, we do have supernatural characters. The creatures. I'm pretty sure you've seen Octavia at least once? Maybe. We have our big baddies like The Lord, The Madam, The Master, The Empress, The Doctor, The Scientist, etc. Then we have our “good” creatures? They are just mf who were also kidnapped, like Alexa, Alexis, Mackenzie, Amelia etc. damn that's a lot of names that start with A.

This is reaching the spoiler zone so not sure if I should go farther. Anyway they work together to try and escape and find out where they are, why they were kidnapped and try to get home etc etc. More death and murder, staples in my work :P

This project has the most progress on it, if you go into the Beastly Bordello tag you can find some of the character designs. Not all tho because a lot of them…were meant to be drawn by the coauthor and I never got themmmmmmmm 🙄🙄.

I like really REALLY wanna continue this but gotdamn it's a lot of work and I get so discouraged easily <- lying my ass was carrying this book by myself for like 3 years.

If anything I'll design the rest of the creatures by myself. That's all I see myself doing, for now, oof. 

Beastly Bordello: The Musical (Completed)

LMAOOO THIS WAS A PROJECT I HAD TO DO FOR CLASS!!!

I had to make a jukebox musical thing and I chose the wonderful Emilie Autumn. The script is short, just around 36 pages and it’s like a transition between book 2 and book 3.

It follows The Madam and she is processing the new shipment of humans she just got in.

Which would be our lovely main characters (Debbie, Meredith, BHL, etc) and we are given a little tour of the brothel (is not actually a brothel we just call it that, think of it more as a farm, a meat farm).

We meet the other characters like The Master and those lil goat mfs (main characters in the original original beastly bordello). We also get a brief introduction to our main creatures (monsters) like Mackenzie, Jia, Isla, Amelia etc (you’ve seen them before).

They then get tagged by The Doctor and The Scientist (I love those gay niggas)

And then everyone gets split up and Debbie finally meets Octavia.

What do people say? OOC? I think that means out of character? Because we have to make everything fit the song, so they just be saying stuff at one point. But shhhhhhhhhhh it's okay.

Anyway, It's just more foolishness and camp and because it's a musical it gets stupid. But I love it either way. That's what I aim for yessir, like wow something beastly bordello related that I actually completed. Wild. 

Adventure to Find Jelly (wip)

 Hiii another middle school project, I was working on this with my coauthor. Okok let's see how do i explain this with no spoilers. This is apart of our “sentient object” universe.

It takes place in an apartment and the family has gone away to visit relatives so now every object can come to life and do what they want.

The story follows Peanut Butter (PB) 🥜, a quiet and kind jar of peanut butter who is tired 🥱 of living the simple life. And decides to sneak out of the cabinet to go to the club (inside a closet) and that day he meets Jelly🪼(she a jar of jelly but they ain’t have the right emojis)

She is the new girl in town (the family got her from the grocery store before they left). They instantly fall in love😍 and Omg this would be like his first girlfriend, PB finally got bitches 😤.

They spend a lot of time doing couple stuff 😘 bcuz PB never got to do any of that before. Jelly is very sweet and loving 🧐 but…something is off about her…just a little 😨.

PB doesn't seem to notice nor care. But his cooler 🍆 asshole brother (who is super overprotective) tells him not to trust Jelly and leave her🙅🏿.

PB’s parents are angry 😡 and disgusted 🤮 that PB would disobey them and go to the club🕺🏿. And spend a lot of his time outside the cabinet instead of staying at home and being a good son 🤓.

PB is tired of people thinking he aint that guy 🥲 and he decided to run away 🏃🏿 to live a life with jelly.

But in a twist of events 👃, when PB arrives at Jelly’s cabinet he discovers it trashed 🗑️💢!!! And jelly is missing 😱😱😱😱😱!!

He tries to tell the police 🚔but they don't believe him, they’ve never heard of anyone called jelly 🪼 before.

PB is confused but figures out he has to do this on his own 🦸🏿‼️, he has to go on an adventure to find jelly.

It's very cheesy but like my other stories it involved murder and drama. So it's not uneventful . Hmmm we outlined 10 chapters. And started outlining the sequel book. But we never actually started writing any of it.

I’m pretty sure some of you have seen jelly before. And possibly PB because I was just given his design a couple days ago. I'm definitely going to continue making art of them, and hopefully, we’ll get Sunbutter soon. But I'm not sure about writing out the rest of the story. It's a lil problematic.

Being A Fruit (wip)

Middle school project strikes again and yes you guessed it my coauthor was involved as well. Another story taking place in our “Sentient Object” universe.

From the title you can tell this series was going to involve all the fruit characters. Bananas, strawberries, apples, etc and I think I designed a good portion of the characters too. But y'all when I say drama. I mean DRAMA. Like “how to get away with murder” type drama. This story is batshit. And it's 10x more stupid because it involves lil fruits.

I'm going to quote this for you: our strawberry character Rosette is traumatized because she “watched entire family get chopped into a fruit salad”. And then we have our villain who “loves to abduct baby fruits”.

Besides character bg we don't have any chapters drafted. But to be fair we were going to make this into a mock podcast. Like the character fruits were going to call in and tell their stories, and the radio host would have to piece together what happened. And if someone stopped calling in then they got killed oop.

Because this is like a one-off, if anything has a chance to make a comeback it's this one. Idk if anyone would want this tho besides me. Because I will go crazy in the google doc and write this myself. This story is wild. 

When Two Erasers Touch

Damn did I peak at middle school? Another coauthor and me classic. This was I think the first book in our “Sentient Object” universe.

It is about lesbian erasers. Our first love story! They find each other bcuz their humans bring them to school and they chill inside a desk or something. I think we only wrote 2 chapters for this. We love a trendsetter though.

I don't think our two erasers Jika and Marei will make a comeback. But omg I am just rereading the chapters and is soo melodramatic!!! These lil erasers are going through it. Ok, I won't make any promises but…maybe we might do like a throwback chapter. Just once. Maybe. I'm not really a fan of Romance but It's so dramatic I can't even describe it. 

The Hecatomb Trilogy (wip)

Finally! Something recent and does not involve my coauthor. This is one of the stories that came to me in a dream. It's hard to recall because my dumb ass didn't type or write down all the information.

I drafted the introduction and the dialogue 10/10. It's a horror movie (I say movie but it's a book bcuz everything is a movie to me). Slasher movie, of course, just a lot of carnage and ridiculous stuff. I don't have much but I have a note on the side of the google doc, that says “3 survivors bond throughout the story, connecting over their trauma and become a polycule.”

So… I have priorities lol. The first movie takes place in the neighborhood and just follows everyday people, dying you know. The second movie is meant to take place in a hospital following the survivors. And the third and final film is meant to reveal who the killer is and their backstory.

From what I have written it just says the killer is dressed in all-black leather and is super strong ;P Damn now I kinda wanna pick this back up again and put some thought into it. I see the potential ngl. We'll see. Who knows. 

Adherence (wip)

All me this time. Another story that came to me in a dream. And I think everyone needs to write a gay vampire story once in their life. This one is mine. I guess it classifies as a slice of life? It's just a cute lil story about the “last” vampire adjusting to the modern world and falling in love with his would-be victim.

They do things like go to the corner store <3 and get robbed afterwards LMAOOO. The MC has to chase a naked vampire around the apartment bcuz that nigga is scared of the shower at his big age... The Vamp fucking loves modern tech and is thoroughly entertained by it. His favourite is those little toy bears that you find at like CVS and u press a button and they start dancing. The vamp meets his neighbor and she does his nails.

Just a lot of shenanigans and also of course killing. I know I keep talking about the dialogue but my god it's working my pussy out.

Damn…is this my humor? Idk why I'm surprised. Hmmmm I would want to complete some of my other projects before I start working on this. But who knows. 

(SU pearl and pink diamond fanfic) wip

I don't wanna claim this. I wrote a pearl and pink diamond fanfic on wattpad back in the day. And I actually got one of my SU friends to read it. It was great. I don't remember the name tho but I wrote like 8 chapters of it and I'm proud I made it that far. Scared to actually read my old writing so I will not be searching for it. Just know it is out there. 

_____________

And so soooo much more that I don't feel like listing atm. anyways sorry for typos i am not editing this i'm tired.

Ask questions if you want to, uhhhhh you wanna make something? I'll be happy to help, yeye byee

[deliciously-yeeted]

I was in desperate need of some beel fluff, so i wrote some. As one does. Uh, ive never done this,(posting fanfic, i normally jus write small things for myself tbh😅) before so please have mercy lol

I hope ya like it though, it put a smile on my face so im hoping it does the same for you♡

____________________________

You started filling the hem of your shirt with snacks, as many as you could fit in the scrunched up fabric that is, a tired but playful grin on your lips, as you thought over what you planned to do, mentally prepping yourself.

Normally, you're not so bold about seeking out comfort and such, feeling shy about showing vulnerability...but today, ugh, today had you particularly worn down. You needed something, affection preferably. You'd settle for a warm bath and some melatonin if you had to. Though, you really didnt want too.

You were tired of self soothing all the time. And Asmos care packages could only help so much. But you knew how to make it all magically better. There was only one option in times like these .

You worked quickly, excitement bouncing around in your gut, making your hands a little shaky.

Having grabbed all you could you carry, you practically dashed from the kitchen. Your mind set on finding a certain big demon. Last you heard, he was headed to his room for a bit. You hoped he was still there.

When you finally reached his bedroom door, you found yourself in a tad bit of a pickle. Your eyebrows furrowed, the realization that you wouldn't be able to open the door making you frown at the closed door briefly. You cursed yourself slightly, for not thinking that far ahead. You forgot in all your excitement.

Briefly you considered trying to use you feet before dropping the idea. Guess you've got no choice.

Dang it! You felt kinda bummed that you'd be losing the element of surprise, but the grin soon returned, thinking about seeing Beel always you happy, regardless of the circumstances.

"Beeeeellllllllllll!" You called out, letting a bit of a whine into your voice, hey, who knows? Maybe it'd get him in front of you faster?? He tended to be on the slower side of answering his door, sometimes he simply didnt hear it. Especially if he was working out or watching tv.

Apparently, whining his name did not speed him up:(

You were about to call out again, worried he hadn't heard you, when the door clicked open. The mere sound making you feel slightly giddy. Your eyes snapping up to meet his briefly. You soaked in as many details of him as you could, without just straight ogling him, before flicking your eyes back up to meet his.

"Y/n?" He seemed pleasantly surprised, dressed in a black tank top and grey sweats (you were happy to see him wearing them, because while he looked like a whole ass meal in them, it also meant he had no plans of leaving the house tonight).

His eyes were quick to find the odd lumps wrapped up in your shirt, as well as the bit of tummy peaking out. The position you held your shirt in had caused the bottom of your stomach to show, something you had worried about on the way here, anxious about a different brother catching a glimpse of you. You could feel his stare burn against your skin, he was about to say something, but then his nose twitched, and his eyes fixed on your bundle of snacks instead.

-

Not that you minded his staring your stomach, not with Beel.

The others...maybe.

Your tummy was one of his favorite parts about you, he's hands finding their way under your shirt to touch and squeeze the soft flesh more often than not. Always gentle and non intrusive. I think he'd full on cry if he accidentally upset you somehow tbh.

Boy had absolutely no shame about it, once he learned you didnt mind much.

Especially when you seemed to be a bit shy about showing your stomach, with the others, or just in general. He made sure to let you know how much he loved your squish. Be it at RAD or just casually in the house.

The only person who ever raised a fuss over it was Mammon, although, he tended to fuss over everything you did anyways;; His protests did absolutely nothing to deter you or Beel, much to his dismay.

Sometimes, if Beel was hungry and needed a distraction or a quick 'pick me up', he'd scoop you up and just shove his face into your tummy. (Much like what I do with my cat when I'm bored and/or sad) Then he'd just hold you there until he absolutely had to let you down.

Relishing in the feel of your softness and you heart racing under your skin, fluttering so delicately under his lips, pressing his face against you was an instant mood lifter for him.

You loved it, a surprised but delighted laugh always ripping from your chest, almost subconsciously. You couldn't hide your happiness in his affections, not that you would want to (thats a lie, you cant help but be embarrassed at the end of the day by the intensive joy you felt whenever you looked at him). Which only seemed to motivate him even more, and soon each time he scooped you up, he'd kiss all over your tummy, making you giggle because it tickled, before hugging you close with a small sigh.

-

"I brought snacks, and some cuddles. So uhm, can I nap on you for a bit? 'M tired. Unless your busy or something..." you beam up at him, starting to hesitate toward the end, suddenly a little unsure.

"Pretty please?? I wont bug ya, I promise." You plead, pulling your best puppy dog eyes, shifting from one foot to the other nervously. His eyes widened as his brain processed what you said, and the cute sight in front of him. If he was being honest, it made his brain stop for a split second.

He chuckled at you and lifted you up by the back of your knees, holding you carefully to his chest, mindful of your full shirt. A small startled squeak coming from you as he did so, a sound he never got tired of hearing.

You glanced in the room as he closed to door, he had papers sprawled over the small coffee table in the middle of the room, and a few (you spotted more in the trash bin in the corner) empty food wrappers around his work space. He plopped down in front of the table again, taking only a few steps to reach it. You were kind of jealous, your short legs never being a fair match against his. Luckily he enjoyed carrying you, which solved that issue right quick.

"You can keep me company while I finish my homework." He says, shifting you into his lap and keeping a loose hold on your lower stomach, fingers splaying out to get a small feel of your exposed skin. Glancing around, you dont see belphies mop of hair in his bed, he was probably sleeping in the attic or the observatory, you quietly hum to yourself, abit happy to have Beel all to yourself for the moment. Shifting forward, Beels hands refusing to let you go and setting on your waist, you hold your shirt above the edge of the table, and let the snacks spill from your shirt before smoothing the garment back down, missing Beels frown as he looses sight of your tummy. Quickly moving to organize the snacks a bit, so that they were within reach and not scattered all over his papers and in the way.

"Thank you, your the bestest!!" You say, the dull ache in your arms more than worth the effort in your opinion.

You tilted your head back so you can look up at him. Making eye contact with him made your brain kinda just...mush. Your hands slowly squeezing his on your waist, lifting them so you move a bit.

You tore you gaze from his, before turning around and wrapping your arms around his nack and your legs around his torso,(like a koala in his opinion).

Scooting as close as you could get away with, (your not as stealthy as you give yourself credit for, he knows, he just too nice to tease you for it, and he doesn't want you to stop), so you could snuggle up to him and be comfy at the same time. Which wasn't all that hard to do with him, being the teddy bear he is.

Your eyes glazed over slightly, and you were distracted as you mind pulled your attention away.

Ah, you were in pure bliss, you could die happy like this~

You had grabbed plenty of snacks, being sure to vary in your choices, knowing Beel would like to have options, and hoping to be able to buy some extra time with him and a cute Beel smile as a reward for your effort. Tho, youd do it anyways.

Not that you'd ever admit to that. Nuh uh, no way. Unless he asked nicely, you'd give in embarrassingly fast if he ever did, the realization making your face heat up.

But...

Embarrassment be damned, youd never tell Beel 'No'.

He looks down at you, face going all blushy and soft at your slightly dazed and flushed expression. Your thoughts getting the best of you for a moment. Shaking your head slightly and letting out a resigned sigh.

"Of course you can," you snap out of it when he speaks up, looking up at him, quick to give him your full attention. "I love when you cuddle up with me, it helps me focus a bit. You didn't have to bribe me, though, as long as its you, my cuddles come free-" wrapping his arms around your shoulders, giving you a snug hug, he moves to continue. "Not that I'm complaining-" you cut him off, feeling slightly guilty about it. You were already flustered, and his sweet words weren't helping your predicament one bit. That was until your eyes actually focus on his face, oh sweet hell, hes so precious!!! Your heart thumps nearly painfully for a moment, nerves biting into your thoughts.

Your face was definitely beat red now, you could feel it at the tips of your ears even. Yet you refused to move, your eyes locked on his. A rare occurrence, one you could tell he was basking in, his eyes were glued to your face, studying it. His flush deepening slightly.

Squishing his cheeks and "shushing" him gently. Your basically cooing at him, to tired suddenly to care much about how your words or actions came off. The nervousness slipping away from your voice and movements. "Its not a bribe hun, I just felt like seeing you smile before I fell asleep on you. Heh, your smile is my goodluck charm for good dreams, ya know?" You tiredly rub his cheek with your thumb, eyes lit up happily and content. Giving him a small breathless laugh at the end.

He really did calm you down, your mind slowing down as the excitement started to fade, a fact you became overly aware of quite suddenly, your eyes feeling quite heavy now that you felt safe.

You yawned, your weariness catching up to you.

Beels quick to notice, taking note of the bags under your eyes. Dont worry, he'll make sure you get some good sleep, no bad dreams were gonna plague you on his watch. He glances over at the snacks you brought, unbelievably happy. Seeing you so cutely curled up to him, the fact that you brought him as much food as you could carry(a sight he nearly died from when he saw it) and your sweet sweet words, it definitely warmed his heart to say in the least.

He loved that you actually came to find him, just so you could cuddle. His adoration for you is bottomless, just like his hunger.

So, Beel wraps you inna big bear hug, pulling you closer and peppering the top of your head and face with kisses. He gives you a big grin, his eyes sparkling happily. "Nap, I'll wake you up when I'm done and we can hangout till dinner."

You tiredly nod, relaxing against him.

Grabbing a baggy of chips, he smooches your forehead, before tucking your face under his chin so he could munch, and see his work(not like that was much of an issue, beels a big boy after all👀), without completely covering the top of your head in crumbs (you'd told him you didn't mind, especially since he always ruffled your hair to get then out, and you loved that...but he still feels bad about it and tries to avoid it to some extent) and being able to rest his chin on top your head was just the cherry on top for him.

💗Happy beel mode activated💗

Sighing happily, you close your eyes. Beels cuddles making all your stress melt away, just like they always did. Slowly, you start to drift off, listening to the soft scratch of his pen as he starts to work and his deep breathing, letting it lull you into sleep.

I dont know why my brain wanted me to got all out on this. I literally jus couldn't stop tweaking with it. Imma post if before i decide to change it. Imma just conveniently forget i wrote this now, maybe ill like it more after a week or two... :/ also if theres any spelling or grammar issues plz tell me, its like 2am rn so im sure i missed something

[taehyungsgrowl]

So...I'm in the ER with an asthma attack (I promise it is not related to the weather lol), but I am bummed, so I got wondering..how do you think all our boys would be if their s/o had asthma; inhalers, wheezing, asthma attacks, er trips, all that?? Thank you babe, heart you! -🖤

SWEET HEART

ARE YOU OKAY?

SENDING YOU ALL MY LOVE! I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON!!

I think Duncan is the prepared BF who probably carries an extra inhaler w him for you. He also constantly checks in, asking if you feel okay! I think any trip to the ER would worry him - and the stress would make him a little snappy towards the doctors if they were taking too long to provide services. 

Okay, I see Xavier being super sweet but also keeping things light hearted. Even when you have to be taken to the ER. As soon as the doctors let him come in the room after they’re done working w you, he cracks a cheesy joke like, “I guess I just take your breath away, huh, babe?” but behind the joke you can see how worried his eyes are. The doctors look at him like 😳but tbh you just reach towards him and kiss him. 

I think any variation of Michael would be worried sick. Just the thought of anything happening to you is a lot for him. I think Shy!Hawthorne!Michael would really have to work on staying calm for you sake. Older Michael knows the ins and outs a little better so he isn’t as much as a nervous mess. The doctors consider giving younger Michael a sedative to chill out lmfao

I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER

KEEP ME UPDATED

[daliensgrandads]

Wait you saw DnP at Space Trip?? Like sat with everyone else?? Omg I would have freaked I can't believe. Did you enjoy the show?? You saw PJ live I'm hyped for you is he as pretty irl??

Yes I did! I meant to post about it but I don't have my laptop rn. Yep there were a few extra seats set up Right at the back of the venue, and they came after the show started, left before the interval, came back after the second half had started, and left just before it properly ended; they never stayed until the lights came up.

(My brilliant attempt at a creepshot. They weren't even the blurry faces they were sort of in the red circle in pitch black. So yeah. You're welcome guys.)

They really didn't want to be noticed which was why I didn't go up to them, and tbh those sneaky bois succeeded, I think the majority of the people there had no clue. I am so fucking bummed I didn't see them outside though so I could meet them because !!!!!!!. But yep my dude I did indeed see them.

Also if anyone cares, Jack Howard, Hazel Hayes, Daniel J. Layton, Sammy Paul and Savannah Brown were sat right behind me too. Not being quite as sneaky as dip n pip but they did leave for the interval.

(Here's a pic of me trying to take a creepshot and getting caught by Daniel Layton.)

I can confirm that PJ is very, very pretty irl. Yes. I also saw the show in Cardiff with @acappellalester, and we had VIP tickets and got to meet them!

The show was so good! Fucking hilarious and ridiculously creative - obviously, I mean, this is PJ we're talking about. I have many a video if anyone's interested.

So in conclusion; yes I saw dnp, yes I freaked out and kinda spent half the show turning round to gage their reactions to bits, hells yeah I enjoyed the show, it was amazing. And thank you for being hyped for me! I'm hyped for me too tbqh. And PJ, Chris, Bertie, Dean, Jack, Daniel, Hazel, Sammy, Savannah, Dan, and Phil, all look just as pretty irl.

Side note: When we met I complimented Peej's nail polish and it is my greatest accomplishment.

[sleepykalena]

Hey, it's Secret Santa again! Don't worry about the vagueness, I do have a few ideas already and I'm trying to narrow them down and cater to your tastes a bit, which is why I'm back again so soon. So what are your personal favorite tropes/headcanons/or anything else you like to see in fics? I'll see if I can work some of them in. Have a great day

Hoo boy. oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Okay first off, I’m SUPER EXCITED that i got another rcss message so soon- i was honestly only expecting one per week HAHAHAHA (so thank you, eeeee

secondly, i feel like my favorite tropes and headcanons are either too long or too specific, soooo i’m sorry in advance because this is gonna look like a fucking novel (with some added self-advertising) so HERE GOES NOTHING (under the cut because i know for a fact i’mma be extra af here) :

Relationship Dynamic Tropes:

They’re honest with each other. (though if there’s a story about the consequences of not being honest, and they work through it together, that totally qualifies)

They love being together, but can function just fine on their own, so their status as “significant other” is not mistaken for co-dependency

They give the other person a chance to shine first before offering help

They’re basically each other’s best friend. (friends first, lovers later, basically)

They’re such a good team that other people look at them and think, “damn, #RelationshipGoals”

Sometimes they have rough patches but they work together to get over them

each has a skill they bring to the table to get a mission done with flying colors (#teamwork) (also considered a plot trope)

Platonic Tropes:

Banter. Seriously. Give me ALL THE BANTER. I list this as a platonic trope because tbh it’s easily applied to any kind of good relationship, not necessarily a romantic one.

Jyn and K2 actually get along in their own way. I get really bummed out when i read fics in which K2 is antagonistic towards Jyn 102% of the time, either because he just “doesn’t like her”, or because he thinks she’s a threat to his dynamic with Cassian. I’m relatively certain cassian would not want his friendship if that were the case, on top of the fact that such a depiction, I think, wholly goes against K2′s line of “Your behavior, Jyn Erso, is continually unexpected.”

They give each other credit for something, and aren’t afraid to speak up if they feel the other is being overlooked (”speak up” here meaning “take action to rectify it”)

Romantic Tropes (aka: i go heart-eyes when they go heart-eyes) :

Competency kink 5ever

Small/subtle, but impactful gestures

They save PDA for when they’re alone (see also: this headcanon i wrote about, or Chapter 1 of Gestures)

They have a method of communication only they can understand because they love and trust each other that much (whether for regular communication or if it’s their way of declaring their love for one another)

^ On a related note: When one uses certain words, or uses more words than usual, to convey something, and the other hears it and KNOWS they mean serious business because this almost never happens and it just makes the other person burst with emotion on the inside (i sort of touched on this with the ending for Enough, if you need an example, but it’s E-rated, so just a heads up)

Pet names as banter (also a platonic trope, because i don’t actually like pet names or nicknames for rebelcaptain that much)

Plot Tropes:

Sometimes they do stupid/complicated things because they wanted to do a really nice and special thing for the other person and shit sorta just hit the fan

“Someone did a thing and oh my god was that on accident or not? Am i reading it wrong or not? Nah, maybe I’m reading it wrong, i’mma just pretend that didn’t mean anything more even though it’s been 12 hours and i’m still thinking about it”

They’re sorta competitive with each other/it’s a game of cat and mouse and “damn they’re really good at this, i’m in love”

pre-relationship “missed meetings” (i don’t know if this is even the right word for it in English, but the japanese word for it is すれ違い, so uh....if you speak other languages, give that one a shot through google translate and hopefully you’ll get what i mean LOL)

They’ve been partners at work/growing up for so long and “oh shit i’m suddenly realizing i have FEELINGS for them”

One notices something about the other that they kinda overlooked/never noticed/never got to see, and they kinda fall in love with the person all over again because of it

Anything that demonstrates an overarching theme about humanity, the importance of something, etc. Stories with messages are ALWAYS a yes for me

That...should be more than enough. Sorry for the novel LMAOOOO

Obvs you don’t have to include ANY of it. Like i said, sell me on the story and characterization and i’m set. I’m always open to “gaining” a new favorite trope or being shown an angle of something that I’ve underappreciated in the past. Since I already outlined my “nopes” when I sent in the application for the Network, i’m sure you’ll do fine. I just have No Chill™

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Random blurb bout a recent nightmare

Well uh I had a nightmare last night. it was pretty horrible if I'm being real.. tho not my worst by a long shot. The progression of the dream didn't make a whole lotta sense so to sum up:

I was someone else at the beginning part of the dream. I was the partner of a very legendary person. For whatever reason we were in this really dangerous area that was worsened by the fact that we were there for something that was directly related to what made that area so dangerous. I had to speak on something later that day, got left in this apartment, only for someone to bust in the house annnd... I guess you probably wouldn't wanna hear that part. Long story short past that everyone was asking the dude if he'd still love me now that I was visibly disfigured to which I never got an answer as I woke up within the dream to go onto another dream.

The next one wasn't nearly as bad but it was stressful which sucked. I've actually been noticing that a lot lately tbh. My nightmares generally aren't bad all the way throughout. Plus, I think I'm getting better with separating that nonsense from the rest of my day. The first few times were particularly jarring cause I was going from a dream here and there that didn't really have an actual plot (a clear one anyway.. 💀💀💀) to semi regular dreams of really shitty things happening back to back but nowadays I'm sorta used to it all.

It feels weird to say that honestly. I never really think on my addiction anymore. I'm not on nearly as much of a schedule as I used to be (hence the nightmares) + a lot of the withdrawal things I get have become so commonplace to the point where I barely notice til I'm in physical pain. and even then at times. I can't bring it up anyway. I tend to just brush it off to avoid slipping up and sleeping where it gets bad bad. Heart pain is the usual one but headaches on bad days, too

What has it been now.. 7ish months since this all started? I guess it was bound to become routine at some point.

Sorry. I know all that was depressing

Uh.. in semi good news I've gotten better at snapping myself out of everything-is-doomed-and-I-have-no-way-out-mode. I've noticed that my long time thing of people pleasing makes me put a lot more weight on mistakes/bad shit. Like me being a literal bum atp. And yeah.. course I'd prefer everyone forgets I exist so I can live on without the weight of the hundreds of eyes watching me.. I hate that I'm now on stuck on a pedestal that I no longer fit on.. I'm sure my immediate family all understands what I really am to a degree but it's going to sting watching my extended family full of alcoholics, teen parents, and honestly just poverty stricken people go from seeing me as some golden star of what strictness and determination can get for you to realizing I'm just the same as everyone else.

-_-

How tf did I fall into that like.. AS I was saying I got good at not doing that. lorddd

I guess I did only say better 🤷‍♀️

Anyway... much as it feels like oh I fucked EVERYTHING and shits over and done with, I do realize I have a bit longer til that's set in stone. Plus, I'm actually starting something for once. Resigned up for this work from bs for the 2nd time now. This time hopefully with no extra bullshit. Tho if this time falls through, I am done. Shit starts in a few days and I have bout a month of long ass zoom calls til I'm good to start fr fr. I'm not looking forward to it honestly. I'm glad to have something to do now so I won't be looked down on as much but I honestly don't care either way. I just want to get this shit done and over with so I can start paying off my uni debt. Pparently they added some extra since I couldn't pay it in the monthly time frame they set so I just want to have it done before they start actually doing something about it.

I think that now I've gotten more okay with the way things've gone. Partially cause I understand that it is my fault at the end of the day and partially cause I know that worst comes to worse, I'm not going to jail, my parents won't care all too much if I just keep details to myself, and for now my issues are purely student debt and my own bs. It's not too bad just yet. Now, the day that I have to sit down and really decide what I am from here on out, THAT is gonna suck. But for now, I can struggle without too many long term consequences.

Tho me getting used to my dph thing has begun to bring another circling thought to my mind. I feel like I only have so long until I'm either caught and aired out or I fuck something up seriously where I have health issues from here on. The days of my once a day 500 are long since behind me. Not to say I get too wild nowadays but I mean.. how many times have I casually popped 600+ just to try and force myself to sleep? It genuinely ain't even an event for me to take a gram atp. I hover round 650-900 now. Even that day I took over a gram and a half, it was like nothing even happened. How long of that do I really have left? I only can get "lucky" for so long. What's going to make this all crash and burn? Am I just gonna get too busy to maintain my habit? Am I gonna pass out in front of them someday? Will I just sleep and not wake up one day?

It's.. weird to think on. You can ask a random cousin bout me and hear the greatest tale about me being some engineering genius now going to one of the highest ranked engineering uni's in the country while in reality I'm coming up on my one year anniversary since my last day on campus and I have to genuinely consider if my addiction to otc meds will be enough to kill me at age 19. It frustrates me some days. It really does

Anyway this all was entirely more than I was planning on talking on so I'll end this here. Sorry for going so off track

[loremonster]

Hey there! This isn't a question or anything... I just wanted to say I've really, really enjoyed reading your New Kid Stories (I'm kinda bummed I didn't find them sooner tbh). It's hard for me to explain (I'm not good with words) but the way you write them just has that extra something that makes them believable. Like everyone and everything - every event is just... a believable South Park occurrence. Anyway, I just wanted to say something nice (and I hope it came out right)! Have a good one! c:

To be fair, I only began writing the New Kid Stories late this October, so they haven’t existed for an extended period of time. I believe the words you are searching for are the successful suspension of disbelief, wherein a story contains the appropriate mood, feel, flow, and detail in order to facilitate immersion. In original works, this suspension of disbelief is a difficult balance to strike but is so fucking important to drawing in and keeping a reader invested in the world and characters created. In fanfiction, it is often done by capturing a certain flavor of that universe to welcome in fans of the parent work, making them feel right at home as they recognize tropes, jargon, and common plot devices from said parent work. 

In my case, capturing the flavor of South Park was done by seeking out lingual ticks of several main characters [Cartman’s habit to mispronounce things, and his rivalry with Kyle, Butters and his habit to use the term Fellas, Hamburgers, or say Jeez or Darn instead of swearing, ect, ect] as well as taking opportunities to reference important memories in passing. It makes the characters I’m penning, characters fans already know, feel more connected to their original incarnations and seem more like continuations of them, rather than re-interpretations of them. 

Naming is also a huge trope within South Park. When I was creating a teacher, giving her the name Ms. Lehman was a clear reference to naming conventions within the universe, as saying it aloud sounds like Ms. Lay man, and laying with a man can be a euphemism for sex. Small spoiler warning, but the teacher I’m going to replace her with is going to be an Ace woman by the name of Ms. Eise-Herr. Again, said aloud, this sounds like Eyes Here, reminding people that she’s a largely non-sexual being and has zero time for people who try to  convince her otherwise just because she may be conventionally pretty. This not only allowed me to reference things South Park already does, but allowed me to throw a little of my own personal flair in. 

Oh, goodness, look at me rambling on. Thank you for your kind words, they are most appreciated! I intend to continue writing the series for as long as it remains enjoyable for me to do so, so look forward to more in the future! And, also, thank you for giving me an excuse to patter on about things I’ve learned in... slightly more than a decade of writing both original and fanfiction. 

Have a good one!

-Buttlord

[sableaire]

is sangwoo as much of an asshole in Korean or is that a cultural misunderstanding? Obv. He's abusive but is majority of his dialogue as abusive or is some of the dialogue just an acceptable bluntness? I'm not sure I'm asking this right sorry

(I know I said I was going to wind down with the translation posts, but I forgot I had this in my drafts, woops; in any case, this will probably be the last of its kind, so have fun)

Boy, oh boy, I was going to put off translating some of his lines until later, but this is such a perfect opportunity. To answer your question, first of all, he’s using informal register with someone older than him that he doesn’t know well. That’s already blatantly rude. People even one year older technically have the social right to go, “Informal? Are you being informal with me? Do you want to die??” (and it’s such a highschool bullying stereotype tbh)

It would be fine if Bum gave Sangwoo permission to speak to him in informal register, but Bum isn’t really in a position to grant any kind of permission right now. So Sangwoo’s being rude from the get go. On top of that, Korean is super context-heavy, so regardless of the words he’s saying (which are aggressive as heck), his demeanor and actions make them abusive. I’m not sure if Sangwoo’s ironic sense of humor comes through in the English, but there’s that too.

I’ve hinted at it before, but Sangwoo is way more menacing in Korean than in English for two reasons: the Korean language is more efficient with speech bubble space, and the Korean language is highly sensory due to onomatopoeia being used as descriptors. That being said, the post you’ve all been waiting for, some of the verbal violence you’ve been missing out on:

First of all there’s this post describing one of the first lines Sangwoo says to Bum, and then this one about how manipulative Sangwoo is from the get go. I had this whole thing written about the one line Sangwoo says after he pours porridge on Bum’s face, but it ended up too long so here, have a separate post for that too.

So with those out of the way, let’s start with Chapter 3. First let me just get a mistranslation out of the way:

That ‘clang’ says ‘탁’ in Korean, which is literally ‘tak,’ and it’s a sfx that implies more of how something is hitting another thing rather than what is hitting what. If you look at the motion lines, it’s pretty obvious that Sangwoo threw the pill bottle at Bum and not the pole he’s chained to, meaning that the sfx should have been translated to “Thwack” or something else. So from the get-go, Korean Sangwoo earns an extra violence point.

When he’s cutting Bum with the can lid, he says he’s doing it “Since I need to punish you…” but the Korean reads “엄살 부린 벌 정돈되려나…” which is pretty different and arguably scarier.

The word “엄살” means “overreaction” and more specifically “complaining about pain or hardship as if it’s worse than it is,” and that alone probably gives you a sense that Sangwoo is saying utter nonsense right there, but let me translate the original for you:

“I wonder if this will at least be enough punishment for your overreacting…[?]” In the Korean, he’s pretty clearly speaking to himself, kind of just wondering out loud. A direct translation sounds unwieldy in English, but the implication is a little scarier because wow, you broke this poor man’s legs, I doubt anything is an overreaction at that point.

Anyway, I also mentioned his ironic sense of humor, right? Well, this is when the Korean honorific system comes into play. Later, during the shower scene, Bum begs to be allowed out of the basement because it’s “too dark and moist and stuffy,” and Sangwoo’s reponse in the English is “Of course it’s dark… it’s a basement.”

The Korean translates as follows: “Of course it is. It’s a basement, Yoon Bum-ssi.” Sangwoo speaks here in polite register, uses Bum’s full name, and an honorific. That is cutting irony, and the politeness burns with condescension. I’m not sure if the nuance quite carries over to non-Korean-speakers.

Basically imagine this same situation except if Bum was a doctor, and you would expect any reasonable person to call him Dr. Yoon in respect of that. However, this whole time, Sangwoo has been calling this doctor by his first name, and then in this one instance goes, “Of course it’s all those things. It’s a basement, Dr. Yoon.” It’s a similar feeling of condescension to that. 

Anyway, moving on to the parts I was excited to translate. When Bum considers trying to crawl to the doorway but doesn’t, Sangwoo appears and mocks him for it. In the English, he appears eerily no-faced and saying “Retard~” which I suppose is the literal translation, but it arguably loses too much of the tone the original uses when it says “뷔웅신~” which was said in the equivalent of “styuuupid”. In fact, just “Stuuupid~” might have arguably been a better translation. Maybe it wouldn’t have been harsh enough? Anyway.

There’s a lot of impact missing in this translation, but it can’t be helped. Translating the Korean directly into English would have made it too long to be natural and also not fit in the speech bubble. What the Korean says here is, “무릎 깨지도록 기어갔으면 나갈 수 있었을텐데” which translates into as follows:

“If you crawled hard enough to shatter your knees, you probably would have made it.”

And then the scene that got me to write this post is actually the knife scene because the Korean language got it a lot scarier. Sangwoo can be vivid with his words, oh boy. The English version reads as follows:

“I’ll pull your neck back… // … and slice it up. // Nice. And. Slowly. // At the same steady speed. Sliiiiiice…”

It’s similar to the Korean, but due to speech bubble constraints, a lot of imagery was lost. The Korean translates to something more like this:

“I’ll yank back your neck until the vessels burst from your throat // I’ll shave the flesh from the end of your chin, first // On the skin stretched taut, very slowly // without hurry, at a steady speed [I’ll] // draaaaaaaaag…”

He uses a Korean sound effect there “쭈우우우욱” which is the onomatopoeia used to indicate something being dragged or pulled against slight resistance. It carries connotations of light strain, and the more the sound is stretched out, the more stretch we expect to feel. 

Scary, scary, isn’t it?

In the flashback scenes in Chapter 9 involving Sangwoo at the gay bar, Korean readers get an extra sense of how manipulative Sangwoo was being. In the Korean, while at the gay bar, Sangwoo clearly calls the older guy 형 ‘hyung’, a word meaning ‘older brother’ and clearly this man is too old for Sangwoo to be calling him ‘hyung’. Calling someone significantly older than you (who is well into their adulthood, middle-aged and up) by one of Korea’s ‘sibling’ terms is a blatant act of flattery and or flirtation. Unless you’re actually siblings, in which case the age doesn’t really matter, but that is irrelevant to this comic.

Sangwoo’s entire demeanor in this chapter got a little lost in translation. He’s a lot more verbally gungho about this than the English managed to convey. Where the English read “How about it? You’re going to be the masters of your own fate! What a joke!” he was actually saying:

“Doesn’t that sound fun? One of you two will be choosing death with your own hand! Like an idiot!” with that same delighted grin.

His next line, “But it’ll be exciting, like a rollercoaster” is a correct translation, but I’m sad that the English language doesn’t have an equivalent for the Korean word “짜릿” in the original. 

“짜릿” is pronounced “jjarit” and the way to pronounce the double-j romanization is by vocalizing a “ch”. If you say “ch” there’s only the sound of air, right? Add your voice to it, and you get a tense, strained kind of “j” sound. That’s the ㅉ in Korean. The Korean word is pronounced ‘jj’, the ‘a’ from ‘ah!’, and ‘rit’ with a clipped long e. The emphasis is on the first syllable, so it goes “JJA-rit.”

I don’t know if the feeling of the word carries over to English, but in Korea it’s basically a feeling onomatopoeia. The word sounds like and means that little jolt of thrill that you get from something exciting. Scientifically, it’s probably the feeling you get from a rush of dopamine. So, in any case, Sangwoo’s Korean dialogue forces more of a feeling from the reader just because Korean has a specific word for it.

In Chapter 10, when Sangwoo is telling the man to stab Bum, the English reads “You’re going to need to go Splat! Splat! And stab him,” but the onomatopoeia Korean uses is “푸슉푸슉” which reads like “pushyuk pushyuk” with the u pronounced how it would be in Japanese romanization. Now, I didn’t know this, but a Korean friend of mind commented that that sound effect also functions as an innuendo. Go figure.

Funnily enough, Sangwoo’s arguably most emotionally violent scene (his breakdown in Chapter 13 when he thought Bum escaped) is translated pretty much as well as it can be, save for one key point. The English says, “I’ll rip him apart! Just like with that girl!” but the Korean meaning is as follows, with the most important difference bolded:

“I’ll rip him apart like meat with my hands, just like with that woman, just…! I’ll tear him apart…!”

The connotations between girl and woman are different, and in Korean, if he meant someone young enough to think of as a ‘girl’ rather than a ‘young woman’ or older, he probably would have used a different word. Also, more violent imagery, yay.

And from this point on, it’s not so much Sangwoo’s aggression that gets lost in translation so much as his affection, and that’s worrying in whole other ways. It should be noted that even though the Korean translations sound a lot more aggressive, Korean speakers are kind of used to used to the natural onomatopoeias and imagery in our language, so these direct translations probably sound a little scarier to you all than the Korean did to me… at the same time, the Korean was scarier than the English, so, whatever, here you go, aha.