#I'm also trying to bring to the table the experience I had of simply watching

[thoughtfulfangirling]

@taraljc and @lynati

Word of God can be so fun for fandom! But I am absolutely of the mind that we get to wholeheartedly disregard it! I subscribe to this very much.

I will probably wait to intentionally expose myself to Word of God stuff until I'm done because I actually don't know much and want to re-experience the story with just the story in mind exactly for the reason of allowing myself to come to my own conclusions. I am very prone to being influenced by peripheral information and reading that into things in ways I won't realize I'm doing it.

This isn't to say I'm not open to hearing some of it. I'd already gotten to start making my own thoughts on Owen's actions in that scene, so it's not As Much an influence to hear about it.

But this is to say I will be waiting on seeking out any sort of Ask Greg type things until I'm done.

It's why it's important enough for me to put in my liveblog announcements that it has to be OK for me to be wrong about things and misremember. And oh I'm sure it'll happen! Haha

But I have been very much enjoying these additions! And if you ever add stuff and get no response from me, it may just be that I decided not to learn more so as not to be influenced by too much outside information.

[luxaryllis]

My Friend

Note: I'm back!! I wrote this fic for @twst-charity , which is a Twisted Wonderland-themed charity drive for Palestine. Please do check it out and donate!! Their pinned post and blog in general has a lot of information, and they also have contributor sign-ups open as well! I really hope you guys can support in any way you can!

Here's the link to donate and send a request as well! The whole thing works rather similarly to giving a commission, except you simply have to provide a proof of your donation and then give your request.

Anyways, this is a fic focused on Rollo and the donor's oc, Robin! Fic is under the cut. I had so much fun writing this, especially since this was my first time writing for Rollo. Hopefully I can also get to work on other requests for the charity drive and the requests on my inbox as well! This is also full fluff so no warnings from here!

Chatter and laughter fill the cafe, filling the area with a lively and bustling atmosphere. The smell of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries waft through the air and easily excite the customers piling in. The door jingles lightly with every person walking in, and people all converse together happily. Groups of friends, couples, families, and even those alone are enveloped by the welcoming ambience of the cafe.

The bells jingle again, prompting the servers to enthusiastically thank the two people who were leaving. Rollo and Robin step out of the warm cafe, a cold breeze greeting them as soon as they step outside. Robin takes a small sip of his hot chocolate, smiling happily at the toasty feeling it brings to him. The shorter boy lets out a small hum of contentment as the hot beverage smoothly goes down his throat.

“Mmmh! Thanks for treating me, Rollo. This cafe really is good!” Robin grins up at Rollo in happiness and gratitude. Rollo only nods, using his handkerchief to cover his mouth a bit. Rollo’s voice is slightly muffled as he speaks from behind the cloth, “Of course. It’s my pleasure. This cafe is known for its authentic traditional food from Fleur City, so I thought it best to show you the richness of Fleur City’s culture.”

The two start to stroll together by the sidewalk, a peaceful silence between the two friends. A few butterflies flutter over, making Robin giggle slightly as he watches them fly about without a care. The butterflies then proceeded to fly away, the whimsical wings fluttering off. Just as the winged insects flew out of view, a small drop of water fell on Rollo’s shoulder, making him pause and look around to see whoever or whatever made the water fall on him.

With that one droplet of water, came another. And another. Until drops of rain were falling from the sky. Robin lets out an exclamation of surprise, not having anticipated it to start raining. It’s somewhat evident that Rollo didn’t expect it either, if his annoyed mutters into the handkerchief fully covering his mouth mean anything. The two quickly run back to the cafe, stopping just outside and taking shelter under the extended roof. Rollo heaves a sigh of relief and pockets his handkerchief, looking at Robin who was trying to dry his slightly damp hair.

Robin lets out a small chuckle and quickly downs the rest of his hot chocolate, setting it by the table nearby. The two take a seat and watch as Fleur City becomes a rainy wonderland. While it was a mundane and normal sight to Rollo, who has lived in Fleur City his whole life, it seemed almost like a life-changing experience to Robin. There was just something so beautiful about how the raindrops fell and made puddles in the ground, rippling with every drop that fell. How the petals of the flowers outside would bend a bit when a drop would fall on them, and how the bright sun still shines despite the rain and darkening clouds, making a wonderful scene.

Such a stunning sight should definitely be captured on camera.

The younger boy takes out his camera and turns it on, looking through the viewfinder of the camera. Robin squints in concentration as he fiddles with the focus and zoom rings on his camera, trying to find the best way to capture the wondrous moment. Rollo watches on in slight confusion, but doesn’t say anything just yet. He knows when someone needs to focus, and photography is a delicate art that requires all concentration. A shutter and click sound is heard, and Robin looks at the photo he took. A bright grin grows on his face as he sees the picture.

“Rollo, Rollo! You should take a look at this!” Rollo blinks a bit and leans over curiously, looking from above Robin’s shoulder to see the picture. It was just a standard picture of Fleur City raining; it wasn’t anything extraordinary. While Fleur City was a beautiful sight, was it really worth taking a photo of it while it was raining? It’s still the same city, after all; it’s not like there’s any change to Fleur City as it rains. The same buildings, the same flowers, the same people.

And yet... when looking at it through Robin’s camera, everything seems brighter, almost mesmerising. Rollo was used to the sight of Fleur City, though he loved his homeplace very dearly, but even he didn’t expect to see this beautiful sight. The camera caught even the smallest of details, and it was so wonderful to see that such a moment was perfectly captured and preserved. Rollo forces himself to hide the small smile growing on his face, but lets himself release a sound of affirmation and pride. “Hm, you did well. A beautifully taken picture. The beauty of Fleur City truly shines with this...”

It was rare for Rollo to give praise to anything or anyone, and is more seen showing his disdain for things more than anything else. Robin blushes a bit and sheepishly grins, puffing out his chest a bit in confidence, “Hehe I’m glad you like it! Oh! How about I print it out for you? You really like Fleur City, don’t you? I can print it out as a keepsake for you or something.”

Rollo blinks a bit in surprise, “Really? You would?” He pauses and hesitates a bit. His pride and ego is telling him not to accept it; after all, he shouldn’t seem so vulnerable in front of others. Especially not after what happened last time. He swore to himself never to let his emotions truly get the better of him. He’s been forgiven by the NRC students, but he’ll never forget their faces and the faces of the people who got hurt because of him. But then... it’s Robin.

It surprises him how kind Robin is, and he feels almost taken aback when Robin nods happily, his big grin brighter than even the sun. Rollo sighs in defeat, “I would like that. Thank you…”

Robin lets out a celebratory noise and keeps his camera. “I’ll print it out when I get back and give it to you, then!”

It was so surprising sometimes, how Robin can be so sweet to someone like Rollo. Rollo knows he can be too much. He knows he’s done so many things that are wrong. No matter how much he works, he knows he might never truly make up for it. He doesn’t understand how Robin, who has been so exposed to magic despite having none himself, can be so caring and understanding. How can Robin be so kind to him? Rollo is rather sure that, after what he’s done to Robin’s friends, he wouldn’t even want to be associated with him.

Rollo breaks the peaceful silence between them as he softly speaks, “Why? Why are you so kind to me?” Robin blinks and tilts his head to the side with a confused expression. “Hm? What do you mean by that?”

The older boy sighs and tries to explain, “I mean... certainly you should feel some sort of disdain towards me, shouldn’t you? It’s a wonder that you’re so kind to me. So why? Why are you…?"

“Huh?! Hey, don’t say that, Rollo! Why am I so kind to you...? Well, I guess it’s because it looks like you need a friend!” Robin musters up a kind smile to his companion. “I don’t see how it’s so special, though, but I’d be very glad to be the friend that you need!”

A friend… Rollo’s had close acquaintances before, maybe some people he’ll confide in sometimes, but he’s never really thought of anyone as a friend. After the incident with his younger brother, after he swore to himself to eradicate all magic in this world, he’s never had someone he can truly call a friend. He tries to keep his blush and smile hidden behind his handkerchief, muttering to himself as he averts his gaze.

Yet Robin thinks of him as a friend. Are there people out there who think of him as a friend too? Perhaps not, not with his terrible temperament. But Robin seeing him as a friend is a big surprise. Or, knowing the first year’s friendliness and kindness, maybe it isn’t so shocking.

“I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you…” Rollo mumbles out softly, his voice muffled by the handkerchief over his mouth. As Rollo watches Robin hum in confusion, asking what he just said, he swears to himself to not make the same mistake he made last time.

Robin makes him feel like a normal person again. Like he isn’t just Noble Bell College’s Student Council President. Like he’s just another person. Like he didn’t actually do so many terrible things in a fit of rage and revenge. Like he’s just a friend to someone. It’s hard to muster up the words to describe the warmth he feels, and Rollo’s pride and ego just can’t let him express his true feelings. Not now. Not yet. For now, he can only manage to say what he’s always wanted to say in his head.

“Thank you, Robin. You’ve saved me, my friend.”

[lady0ctavia]

As We Ponder Belief

(2p!Prussia x Reader) - Chapter 13

Note: This story is based vaguely during the mid 1200s in Eastern Europe where the Teutonic Knights fought the Northern Crusades to try and convert the native pagan population to Christianity. As a result, this story will have heavy religious themes all throughout. It should also be noted that, while referencing real-life events and locations, I am not striving for full historical accuracy. This is for the sake of the story I am telling.

Once again, this series will have heavy religious themes throughout, including discussions of bible stories, doctrine, and scripture verses, as well as critical analysis of Christian doctrine and beliefs. So, if you don't like that, you will want to skip out on this.

(y/n) felt her heart sink into her stomach. Just earlier that day she met young Albrecht, and now she had to see this sweet boy spread out on an operating table. When she tried to hurry over, Gillen stopped her, holding out his hand.

"Stop. Tend to Gilbert, then come see me," He ordered as he took out a small, sharpened pair of scissors and began cutting through Albrecht's clothing.

"I'm fine," Gilbert insisted between gasping breaths. He must have run here. "But Albrecht isn't!" Gilbert spoke while gesturing to (y/n) to go and help Gillen.

(y/n) did as instructed and hurried to assist Gillen. When at the operating table, she looked down upon the injured youth. The sight made her blood run cold. Blood was seeping from the boy's left shoulder, staining his once pure white teutonic uniform a ghastly crimson. With his tunic and shirt now cut away, she could see his bare chest heaving, gasping for air. His lightly tanned skin was painted red with his blood.

Gillen held a cloth over the shoulder wound, applying pressure. "This looks like an arrow wound," He commented. "Gilbert, tell me exactly what happened."

"We went on patrol further up north this morning and ran into some of the pagans. We were outnumbered, so we tried to turn back quickly, knowing we couldn't win. As we tried to retreat one of them shot Albrecht in the shoulder," Gilbert slowly regained his breath and composure, but he was clearly still rattled.

Gillen didn't respond, simply carrying on with his duties in applying pressure to the wound. After a second or two he addressed (y/n).

"Bring me plenty of bandages, a bucket of water, and a rag. Hurry!" As (y/n) scampered off to the cabinet, Gillen interrogated his brother further. "Was anyone else injured?"

"By God's grace, nothing more than scrapes we can treat ourselves," Gilbert stumbled and plopped down taking a seat on one of the beds.

"God's grace indeed," Gillen sighed, keeping pressure on the wound.

As soon as (y/n) brought over the items he asked for, he grabbed the water and rag, taking away the cloth that was now completely stained in Albrecht's blood. While he cleaned around the still bleeding wound, (y/n) could feel her heart breaking at the sight. Albrecht began to look pale as his head slowly lolled side to side, as if barely conscious. His eyes only partially lidded, the color within appearing dull and lifeless. Even his cute freckles looked more like specks of dried blood. He groaned, fresh tears beginning to pool around his eyes. He could hardly look. As if reading her mind, Gillen spoke up.

"Don't leave. If you are to be a nurse, this will be a good learning experience for you."

All she could do was nod her head, breathless at the scene before her. Taking a small rag, she dabbed at the tears in his eyes. He slowly let his gaze travel up her arm to her face, the tears beginning to slowly trickle across his skin.

The next forty or so minutes felt like they went on for hours as she watched Gillen clean, dress, and bandage up the young knight's shoulder. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as she heard the boy groaning, hisses of pain escaping his lips as Gillen dressed the wound before wrapping bandages around the puncture wound. She winced every time he yelped, pain shooting through him, only to be soothed by Gillen's gentle voice as he reassured Albrecht that he'd be fine. That it would all be over soon.

The agony. The horrific sight of a knight who might as well be a child, covered in his own blood. The sounds of his crying with every movement made. It was almost too much for (y/n) to bear. When Gillen finished bandaging up the wound he stood back for a moment, letting out a deep breath. Looking up at (y/n), he asked her to help move him to a bed as gently as possible.

(y/n) did as asked, and placed one of her arms under his legs and another under his hips. Gillen did the same with one arm under his back and the other supporting his head and shoulders. Gingerly, they both lifted the boy, who at this point had fallen into a deep slumber. With feet lightly brushing along the floor, the doctor and his apprentice moved their patient to a bed. After resting him on the soft mattress, (y/n) instinctively went to fluff the pillow around his head to ease any potential discomfort. Afterward, she brought out a blanket and laid it on his body, tucking him in as one would a small child.

(y/n) took a few moments to mentally gather herself, processing the entire event. Looking out the window, she saw that the sky had changed from a beautiful sunset to a dark, starless blue, signaling the beginning of nightfall. While observing the world outside the window, Gillen took a moment to fully see the woman before him.

Something began to stir within his heart, a sensation that slowly became familiar over the last couple of days. A tightness in his chest. But just now, it was becoming oddly pleasant. Like a tiny flame flickering away inside of him at random, inopportune moments. All of which occurred around (y/n). Like now when he looked upon her profile. The way the soft candlelight illuminated her face as she gazed out into the darkening world outside. And the way she so tenderly comforted Albrecht. It was all he could do to stifle a small laugh when he considered the stark contrast between the woman she presented herself to be this morning versus the angel standing before him now.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Gillen cleared his throat.

"Well, um... I suppose we ought to let him rest," He mentioned. (y/n) looked his way and nodded in agreement.

"That sounds like a good idea," She said breathlessly, her voice sounding tense.

"Are you feeling well?" He cocked his head to the side.

"Yes, of course, just... A little overwhelmed," She awkwardly straightened out her skirt. It was only then that she noticed the bloodstain on her apron.

"You can soak it in cold water overnight and wash it tomorrow morning," Gillen reassured her. "But if you are overwhelmed, might I suggest some tea? We can prepare some in the dining hall."

(y/n) paused to think before smiling. "That should be fine."

After pretreating their bloodied aprons, Gillen and (y/n) made their way out the door and toward the dining hall, all the while completely unaware of Gilbert who had been lying in a bed on the other side of the room, watching everything.

(y/n) and Gillen sat across from one another in the dining hall, sipping on their tea, the glow of a lone candle beside them. As they sat there, (y/n) noticed his normally icy gaze was now overcome with a beautiful warmth to them. The dim glow of the candle gave his eyes the appearance of shining pearls. The soft illumination caused his stark white hair to almost glow, the white strands giving her the impression that perhaps she was in the presence of an angel. This lighting truly made him seem otherworldly.

"You seem quiet. Was today too much for you?" Gillen asked. Even his voice seemed to have an ethereal air to it.

"I... I suppose so. I guess I just wasn't expecting to have to help treat someone so soon," She nervously rubbed a finger along the side of her cup.

"I understand. Honestly, I was hoping to just keep you on herbal medicines for a week or so before giving you any kind of training in surgical work. But even so, these are good learning experiences for you. Say, (y/n)?"

"Y-Yes?" She could feel her voice beginning to tremble. But why?

"How do you feel about the fortress? About life here?" Gillen seemed genuinely concerned.

"Well, to be fair, I have only just started a new routine in living here," (y/n) continued to trace the outline of her cup, anxiety welling up inside her. "The welcome from the knights this morning was certainly unpleasant. But even so, I cannot see myself going anywhere else for the time being."

"I understand. But I must ask, why do you want to stay here? Really?" Gillen leaned forward only slightly, but it was enough to color (y/n)'s face pink.

"W-Well, it's as I said before weeks ago. I have nowhere else to go." Her heart rate sped up.

Gillen didn't seem convinced, raising a brow. She sighed, resting her hands on the table and looking up to meet his softened gaze.

"Alright, so maybe that isn't the entire truth. The full truth is, I'm scared." She admitted, a sense of shame rising within her.

"Of the pagans?" Gillen quickly picked up on her message. She began to tremble.

"Y-Yes. Not only do I have nowhere else to go, no family or next of kin to return to, but... The people who attacked my village. They're out there. And... Part of me wonders," She cautiously looked out one of the windows, turning to the side. "Are they out there waiting for me? Logically they probably are not, but even still."

Gillen took in her words, feeling the tremble in her voice, as well as the slight shakiness of her hands. Something about her fear caused an ache within him. Reaching forward, he placed a hand on hers, causing her to look at him. Her delicate skin felt warm under his.

"I can see you are scared, but rest assured, you won't be alone. You have Gilbert, Albrecht... All of us here. And me. Only now do I see how brave you have been. You lost everything, and now you are in the process of rebuilding. (y/n)," His voice was so soft, the softest she'd ever heard before. The way he said her name lingered in her ears.

"Yes, Gillen?"

"I promise you, you will never have to be alone. And as long as you are here, you will never have to fear again."

(y/n) couldn't help the tear that ran down her face, her grateful smile shining in the night.

"Thank you, Gillen."

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

🎵🎶Caaaaan you feeeel the not-quite-love-but-clearly-something-is-happening-here toniiiiiiiiiight?🎶🎵

As always, let me know what you think!

[drama--universe]

I'll give a hand

Requested by anonymous: Hello! I see you write for 'The Untamed'! I just started watching it recently, but I'm already in love with the serials! Can I have a request for Lan Zhan? I see that no one has asked for Lan Zhan yet (I think separately): Where the reader (female) is a new student in the Lan clan, she is very smart, kind and helpful, but people avoid her because she is mute. And one day several students break the rule of the Lan clan and start making fun of her...Lan Zhan intervenes, but as soon as she turns to the reader, the reader is long gone, she runs to her room. Lan Zhan came to check on her and found her sitting in the fetal position and crying (she is sensitive when someone makes fun of her for not being able to speak). Lan Zhan knew she was crying, he didn't hear her sob but he could tell by the movement of her shoulders. It's true that Lan Zhan isn't very good at dealing with emotions, but he still tries to help her...

Pairing: Lan Zhan x fem!reader (platonically)

Word Count: 1.6k words

Warnings: bullying, anxiety attack (personal experience, so might not be too accurate for others)

Following Xichen, you couldn't help but stare at your surroundings. The building was beautiful and the surrounding forest was even prettier. You couldn't wait to go and explore everything once you had the chance, but you probably had to wait until you had some free time. Xichen was kind enough to explain your new lifestyle, classes during the day and a curfew at night.

No room to explore, but maybe later.

"This is where you will follow your lessons. After your lessons today, I will bring you to your room. Does that sound good to you?" Xichen nodded and you were quick to nod, trying not to smile too brightly. You didn't have too though, because Xichen could see the sparkle in your eyes and that said plenty. So he led you inside, letting you sit at a table in the back before making his way to the man that sat in the front. They talked for a few seconds before Xichen left again, leaving you in the room with the other students. Some glanced your way, but none of them said something as the lesson started. You paid close attention to the man in front as he started explaining certain things, but you also tried to focus on what the other students said when asked something. It was only two hours, but it felt like two minutes to you. After the man had left, other students approached you and started asking questions left and right. You tried to hear all of them, but it was too much at once and you were starting to get overwhelmed. They noticed and calmed down, asking one question at a time while waiting for your answer.

Your brush flew over the paper as you tried to answer quickly, something that seemed to fascinate the others a bit.

"Are you mute?" One boy asked and your brush slowed down before stopping completely. You looked up before nodding softly, which created an awkward silence around you. They started leaving one by one and soon enough you were alone again.

Your reflection stared back at you, but you didn't recognize yourself in the slightest. Your eyes were red from crying, your hair was a mess from tossing and turning in your bed, and you could see some marks on your arms from digging your nails in. In short, you looked like a mess and all because you cried all evening long. Just because you were lonely, something you never had a problem with and yet now it was the worst thing in the world. It was not the loneliness per se, but rather the fact that everyone avoided you without even trying to hide it. You felt miserable, people avoided you because of something that you were simply born with. You wished you could, every single day you wished and it changed nothing in the end. You'd never be able to say that you loved someone, no matter how hard you tried.

Washing your face with some water, staring back into mirror before grabbing some make-up to cover the redness around your eyes. Then you made your way out, raking your fingers through your hair to tidy it up enough so that you wouldn't be punished. Your outfit looked fine enough, so you only brushed over it with your hands once before ignoring it. No one would notice that you hadn't changed in the last two days, most of your outfits were the same anyway and you honestly couldn't care less at the moment.

"Hey, mute!" A voice rang out, not too loud to catch anyone else's attention. Some people came closer to you, making your anxiety spike up and you flinched as an arm was thrown around your shoulders.

"Still not going to say anything?" One asked and you flinched again as one of them tapped your face a bit too harsh for your liking. Some cackled at you, voices starting to blend as they mocked you. Tears started welling up in your eyes with every word or hit and soon enough, tears started streaming down your face.

"Oh, are you sad? Can't bear the truth, little mute-" The one who spoke was interrupted, gasping softly as he felt the metal of a sword pressed against his neck. All of them dispersed slightly, staring at your rescue in shock.

"Your breaking the rules." He spoke and you could recognize his voice as Lan Zhan's, shocked that the man would even speak up for you. Then again, you doubted that it was for you and rather for the fact that they were being a nuisance. The arm around your shoulder was removed, making your body relax a bit as you stepped away from your bullies.

"Bullying and shouting is forbidden here, so-" You didn't wait for Lan Zhan to finish his sentence as you slowly backed away from everyone while the attention wasn't on you, but soon enough you were sprinting back to your room. Your body was shaking, shivers running up and down your spine as you tried to calm yourself down again. Just like last night, it didn't work as your breaths started to grown shorter and shorter. Your vision started to blur from the tears in your eyes, rolling down your face like waterfalls. You let yourself crash to the ground, ignoring the pain that shot through your legs as you curled up into a ball. Your sobs didn't stop, your whole body still trembling as you tried to calm down the anxiety in your body.

Someone entered, but you couldn't focus on trying to see who it was. They kneeled besides you and a hand laid on your head, softly stroking your hair as they told you too breath slowly. Unfortunately for you, you couldn't calm down until you fainted from exhaustion.

Eyes opening, you tried to ignore how your body felt as you sat up. Taking in your surroundings, you spotted Lan Zhan not far from you. His eyes were on you and even though he never showed much emotion, you could see that he was slightly uncomfortable. You couldn't blame him, after all he was in a girl's room for what you guessed had been a few hours.

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked and you nodded at him slowly, trying to not focus on the pain in your throat that you gained from crying. He nodded as well before standing up, walking your way before sitting down again. His hand went to your forehead and you flinched, which was clearly visible and Lan Zhan paused his movement. His hand remained in place as he waited for you to relax again, placing his hand on your forehead when you did.

"Your temperature is back to normal it seems." He dropped his hand again, but he didn't move from the bed. You waited for him to say something, anything but it never came. You just sat in silence for awhile, trying to ignore the thoughts that swarmed around in your head. Swallowing softly, you winced at how painful your throat felt. Almost like sandpaper that was being dragged through the inside of your throat.

"Ignore those people, listening to them won't change anything." Lan Zhan spoke and you almost wanted to scoff. It was easier said than done, how could you accept something that was clearly a flaw. People didn't need to say something for you to know what they thought, either it was annoyance or pity and you disliked both. But somehow, it didn't feel like that with Lan Zhan's gaze.

When he looked your way, it was usually the same gaze as he gave others. Not a lot of emotions or care about you, but you definitely preferred it over the looks of pity.

Shaking your head, you quickly looked around for some paper and pen. Unfortunately, there was none that was near you and you had a feeling that you could get up just yet. You looked at Lan Zhan again before awkwardly grabbing his hand, tracing letters on his palm with your finger and hoping he would understand.

"I will get you some tea, please wait here." And after that, he was off and you were left alone again. You gently threw your blanket to the side, throwing your legs off the side of the bed before pushing yourself up. Although your legs were weak, you could stand without any problem. You went to your desk, grabbing your paper and a pen.

"I thought I asked you to wait." Lan Zhan said and you nearly jumped out of your skin, surprised at how quiet the man was. The tea was put on the table as Lan Zhan made his way back to you before guiding you back to your bed. You wanted to write down why you moved, but Lan Zhan held his hand out again.

"Don't waist paper and ink." He said and you looked at him before laying down the pen and tracing letters on his hand again. He waited carefully until you finished your sentence, staying silent even when you paused to think of which letters to use. When you finished asking what had exactly happened after you passed out, Lan Zhan turned to you fully.

"You have been asleep for a couple of hours. Xichen-ge knows about this already, you're excused from the lessons tomorrow as well." Lan Zhan explained and you pouted, grabbing his hand again to write that you wanted to follow the lessons. Seeing how eager you were to learn, Lan Zhan could only approve before getting up.

Ever since then, Lan Zhan would always reach out his hand to you so you could speak.

[hazelkjt]

I'll give you one from each category, for Emmanellain (because I still haven't made it far enough to really know who Zero is) Pre-relationship: 7. How do their friends and family feel about them as a couple? General: 2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like? Love: 6. What are their favorite things to do together? Domestic: 11. Who hogs the blankets or takes up more than their fair share of the bed? Who puts their cold feet on the other? Who are the big and little spoons?

Ship Questions (Still open for more btw!!)

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This took me a while to think about because I’ve been slowly going through HW stuff again to remember the Fortemps family dynamic beyond the broad strokes. It’s been years since I did the HW MSQ and my memory is absolute shit. That is to say...I'm sorry.

—————

7. Edmont and Artoirel are both protective of Emmanellain once they hear he has someone interested in him. Edmont would probably sit down Hazel for a kind of “informal interview” to make sure for himself, dodging direct accusations towards her but still trying to figure out her intentions. Artoirel would be much more direct, making sure not to interrogate Hazel in front of his father or brother but still wanting to make sure his brother isn’t being taken advantage of. After hearing her answers, the both of them would be happy for Emm but still very watchful of Hazel, as she hasn’t been around long enough to fully earn their full approval as Emmanellain’s partner quite yet. Honoroit would have picked up on how Hazel would be crushing on Emmanellain long before the two came together. He would have tried his best to subtly push Emm towards Hazel after seeing the positive influence she has had on his life so far. He would have nothing but the best wishes after Hazel and Emm officially become a couple, while simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief that everything worked out for the two of them.

Hazel's parents have yet to actually meet Emm, only hearing about him in the more recent letters sent home by Hazel. Their current impression of him is painted only through the lens of how their daughter describes him, which is mostly positive but she also doesn't shy away from noting his flaws. Lady Amelune would be neutral towards Hazel, not wanting to interfere with the Au Ra's personal life beyond warning her not to get too involved with House politics.

-----

2. Their first "official" date was Emm taking Hazel around Ishgard on a small shopping spree followed by a dinner at a favorite tavern of his. He made two mistakes however: the first was taking Hazel out and about during one of the colder days of the year, and the second was stopping by the book store first on the list of stores to hit up. As a result they spent over two hours in the book store, missing Emm's reservation for dinner. And so the two of them spent some time simply waiting outside the tavern for a table to open up for them, and while Hazel was freezing in the cold of Ishgard she was enjoying every moment with Emmanellain as best she could. It wasn't perfect, but it was everything Hazel would ask for.

-----

6. Hazel and Emmanellain have shared quite a number of hobbies with one another, but the one favorite they both have is dancing. They've gone back and forth teaching the other about the dances of their respective cultures and casually dance during quiet moments together. Another favorite of theirs is reading together. It's not as if Emm hated books growing up but reading was never a big thing for him. Reading with Hazel or having her read to him however, he gets swept up in her enthusiasm and love of literature and loves the experience himself. When out and about now he will browse a shop's selection of novels and bring back any he feels Hazel might enjoy reading together with him.

-----

11. Hazel absolutely hates feeling cold, where Emm might have one blanket on a bed she will have four...and in the middle of the night somehow steal half of his too. Hazel encroaches on his side of the mattress as well, being quite clingy in her sleep. She either holds on to and sleeps with Floof, or with whatever she can get her hands around. She is predominantly the big spoon, much to Emm's chagrin, and uses the position to siphon body heat from the Elezen. There are still a fair share of times where Hazel falls asleep first and Emm wraps around her as the big spoon, but most of the time she is the one grabbing and pulling herself around him. Probably about a 60%/40% split in Hazel's favor on who is the big spoon on any given night together.

[newmih]

A few drops of rain

Words: 768

Characters : Giyuu Tomioka x female reader (Hashira)

Summary : y/n meets Giyuu in a restaurant lost on the side of a road.

A/N: it's 11:48pm and I'm writing for Demon Slayer instead of learning the 4 pages in Spanish that are waiting for me nicely… I don't even have the strength to reread and it's really just sad and cute compote I guess By the way that's my first try writing for an anime...

/please reblog if you liked it <;3/ /English is not my first language. Sorry for any mistake I made./ /Picture is not mine./

Masterlist

Bonne lecture

Giyuu was not in the habit of carrying out accompanied missions. Most of the demon slayers who had followed him had realized this after a few minutes. His reluctance to make conversation, or simply the lack of desire to do so, had immediately made him look unpleasant.

He hadn't really heard about it, or if he had, didn't care. Since he was a child, others had been labeling him as such, and although it hurt him at first, he had quickly gotten used to it.

With such a reputation ahead of him, he was sure he would have peace and could work alone. Well, almost.

The Hashira y/n also spent most of his missions alone. The sound of her footsteps was her only company. She had been used to this way of life when she was young, but the idea of having a comrade did not displease her, on the contrary.

It was only with her two sabers that she pushed open the door of a roadside restaurant. She had never minded walking until the sound of thunder and the rain began to fall.

She didn't hate it, only when she was the victim.

She took a seat in front of a window, alone. There weren't many customers, only an old person asleep on a table, a hooded young woman watching the menu and a man she could only see from behind. She immediately recognized his straight and cold posture and the mismatched kimono he always wore.

The eagle that served as her messenger had never mentioned the presence of another Hashira near her, but she ignored it. After a few years of informing her, he knew how much she liked solitude, time for herself.

She retrieved her bag and took a seat beside him. He had no visible reaction to her appearance and simply continued what he was doing: bringing the chopsticks to his mouth in extreme concentration.

The old cook approached and allowed y/n to place her order. She moved away and calm returned to the two fighters. As always, neither spoke to the other. y/n did not do so out of respect for Giyuu. She had gotten to know him in silence, by observing him. He didn't talk much, only when he felt it was necessary. She didn't know why he was the way he was but she wouldn't allow herself to judge.

Her meal arrived and she thanked the waitress with a smile before attacking her bowl. In the middle of it, she stopped, wiped her mouth with a napkin and rummaged in her bag. She pulled out a paper folded in four that she unrolled on her lap.

The paper was a few days old, but she thought one of the articles was related to the case she was on. She put it on the table and slid it to Giyuu. He finally turned his calculating gaze to the ink.

The demon slayer asked him silently if he was on the same case. He quickly read the content before nodding. They would then make the rest of the journey together. The idea reassured y/n somewhat. She was one of the most powerful women of her generation, but she was still a woman and the world was still not safe for her gender. She would have loved to be able to say otherwise, but it wasn't, and until it was, she wouldn't feel completely safe, just as she wouldn't feel safe until all the demons were vanquished.

The company of a friend always reassured her. In her experience, men were generally less friendly when they weren't in front of a woman alone.

They set off again at the end of their meal, without waiting to digest. The storm was still going on, even if the rain had calmed down a bit. The clouds that covered the sky were so dark that it seemed for a moment that night had fallen.

She stepped outside, still protected by the front of the building, and looked up worriedly. Her hood was still wet, as were the rest of her clothes, and she wouldn't bet against the fact that she would probably get sick if she went back in.

Giyuu glanced at her before pulling out an umbrella from his belongings and opening it on both of them. He made sure that the woman had as much space as possible, even if he ended up with a wet shoulder.

The smile that she offered to him warmed up enough the interior so that he did not think any more about his body that was cooling more and more.

[drstonetrivia]

Chapter 206 Trivia

Post-timeskip Suika squad! They're all so cute :)

Unlike the new Perseus, the ship going to Corn City is Xeno branded rather than Kingdom of Science: it has the signature zig-zag patterns of the American Colony and Xeno's profile on the side of the boat.

Joel's crushed arm is hidden, however since no one mentions it, it's probably fully healed. Somehow.

Joel's "12" hair strands have also gotten thicker, and the strap on his watchmaker's loupe survived even though his clothes are gone…

…Except everyone is still wearing the same clothes from before anyways. Did Ukyo and the others take off their clothes for depetrification then return them?

I also wonder who's currently in possession of the medusa now.

Finally a Taiju and Yuzuriha reunion! And what's more, progress on their relationship! (Sort of…)

It seems that when they built the new Perseus, a new mobile lab was built to go with it! Judging by the tires, this one is also all-terrain and amphibious.

Has Sai not eaten in days because of his fevered code writing? Or does he deliberately ignore table manners like "don't speaking with your mouth full" as a result of trying to escape his fate in Nanami Corp.?

Holding flags has never held so much personality: Kohaku is extremely focused and lifts her flag completely vertically, very quickly. Suika twirls hers. Gen does his the slowest and is most put-out by the demonstration. Chrome lifts his loosely with one hand, but with confidence.

An XOR (said as "exclusive OR") gate is the job Suika had during the demonstration: lift the flag when Chrome OR Gen put theirs up, /excluding/ the situation where they're both up.

An AND gate was Kohaku's job: both Chrome AND Gen need their flags up for Kohaku to lift hers.

The brief moment of history for the parametron lasted under a decade. Invented by Eiichi Goto, a Japanese computer scientist, they were reliable and cheap, allowing for Japan to push forward with their computers. They didn't last long because transistors simply performed better.

Senku's parametron only requires copper and zinc, but true parametrons use some form of ferrite core. Copper and zinc aren't ferromagnetic, but ferrite is.

The result? Senku's version won't work. At all.

In case you haven't watched the anime and didn't immediately get Gen's Kung Dang Manganese song stuck in your head the instant "800" was mentioned: Gen insisting there'll be 800 of them is a reference to when they made the cellphone, and Gen was tasked with making 800 batteries.

Sai is playing a code block game designed for children. He's probably programming a moveable character on the screen at the top of the container by arranging the blocks in order. This is probably a simplified version of the Gakken EX-150, a device for easily experimenting with electronics.

Doesn't look like he knows the Konami code yet, but I'm sure he will soon enough!

I'm not sure if I'm just getting old or if this is a reference to Senku bringing back smartphones (and not just cellphones), but that isn't what I think of when someone says "calculator" haha

I love Yuzuriha's signature hard-work pose so much :)

==================== MISSING Please help me find my kohai! 🧙 Answers to the name MOZ. Last seen fighting Americans. Might stab you. If found, call Hyoga @ (555) 454 1130. Do not engage. ====================

(Seriously where'd he disappear to again?)

[lilyevanstan1325]

🔥 Dangerous Game 🔥

Chapter 3

Amaya POV

"Stay the fuck away from me and my girlfriend" he snarls to me.

What the fuck just happened?

Petrified without even being able to find the strength to reply, I remain dazed with a cardboard box full of books in my hands.

I watch him go, he looks like a fury ready to overwhelm anyone who dares to cross his path.

I am aware that he would not have jumped for joy seeing me again but I did not expect this vitriol treatment either.

In his eyes I saw a disproportionate anger, as if what happened that night was just my fault.

Please tell me this is a joke!Where are the cameras?

What just happened cannot be real.

Jesus Christ we are adults able to make our own decisions, no one forced anyone that night.

It was consenting sex.

Of course I had no qualms about flirting with a man already engaged but he should have simply rejected me if he knew that he would not be able to bear the weight of the consequences of his choice.

I am tempted to run after him but I force myself to stay where I am.

I am here only to be able to start over, to experience a new beginning.

I'm not looking for trouble, I'm not looking for love.

I don't want anything from him, what I wanted I already got.

I'm okay with myself and if he has any problems he'll go fuck himself.

Who gives him the right to talk to me like that?

What makes him think I want something from him.

I am here for work, I want to do it in the best possible way and possibly without any drama.

I would never dream of intruding into someone's relationship, much less that of Sharon Carter and James Barnes.

I shake my head and put the box that I still hold in my hand on the floor.My fingers are numb from holding it for so long.

I start by emptying my suitcase and arranging all my clothes in the closet and drawers.

I look around in amazement.

This room is almost as big as my old apartment.

As soon as you enter there is a cozy sitting area equipped with a leather sofa and a large TV hanging on the wall.

Positioned next to the TV there is a bookcase, on the opposite wall there is a large window overlooking the New York skyline.

At the bottom on the right there is a sliding door that leads to the sleeping area.

In the center of the room there is a king size bed, white soft and fragrant sheets cover it.The blanket at the foot of the bed is made of soft fur.

To the right of the bed there is no wall but only a long and immense glass window.

The view is breathtaking.

Instead, along the left wall of the room there is a desk equipped with every technology. MacBook, scanner, printer and every miracle of Stark technology.

Only the best from him.

Rich son of a bitch.

Half a meter beyond the desk there is another door behind which the bathroom is hidden.

It is equipped with a large tub and a shower, I can't wait to try them both.

The floors are in white marble, as well as all the various components.

I think I could get used to all this luxury.

I look at the watch on my wrist.

It's still 10 in the morning, I have plenty of time to tidy up my stuff and take a relaxing shower.

I get to work and, taken by my thousand thoughts, I don't realize that it is already 2PM.

With the back of my hand I wipe the sweat off my forehead.

I spent the last 4 hours sorting out the contents of every single box, working non-stop just to put a stop to my thoughts.

I can't allow Barnes to screw up this chance for my rebirth.

I grab the last book I have left and go to place it in the library when suddenly something slips from inside.

I bend over to my knees and grab the photo that was hidden between the pages.

It's a photo of my parents, it was taken on the day of my birth.

Mom was huge but still beautiful to hurt, in dad's eyes a lot of anxiety but also an indescribable joy.

They were very young, beautiful and full of hope.

I get up holding the photo to my chest.

A knock on the door brings me back to the present.

I place the photo on the coffee table in front of the sofa and go to the door, opening it just a little.

Tony's face appears in front of me.

“Hey kid hungry?I'm ordering cheesburgers, would you like to join me?" Tony asks me, a smile on his lips as he watches me over the frame of his expensive glasses.

I open the door completely.

For a moment I hesitate, I would like to be alone and I really wanted to be able to take a shower but I don't want to sound rude and then one of the reasons why I am here is to learn to be in company, form bonds and friendships.

"Fantastic idea" I reply smiling. “Do you think I might have time to take a shower?All this unpacking made me unpresentable"

"Sure, I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen in 20 minutes.Agree?"

"Perfect.See you later"

So saying I close the room door and head to the bathroom, while my stomach rumbles.

Luckily I accepted this invitation to lunch.

I open the hot water and immerse myself in it, let the jet of water soak me and wash away the dust and fatigue.

I undo the bun I made and wash my hair too.

The bathroom products at my disposal are top notch.

Expensive oils and ointments all at my disposal for the hair I choose a Bulgari shampoo and for the body I use Pleasures by Estee Lauder.

The mix of these perfumes makes me ecstatic.

I get out of the shower and covered myself with a soft bathrobe I approach the large mirror overlooking the double sink.

I dry my hair quickly and with just a couple of brush strokes my hair is perfect.

Soft and shiny.

Thanks dad for this legacy.

I smile to myself.

I quickly put on a pair of black leather pants and a white turtleneck sweater.

I head for the big elevator but I remain motionless inside.

What the hell is the kitchen on?

I am not amused by the idea of wandering around the tower like an idiot.

I hear footsteps behind me and soon after a tall figure stops by my side, I turn to see who it is.

Fantastic.

Since my life isn't hard enough what I really need is another confrontation with him.

"You got lost?" his stupid voice resounds in the elevator.

James fucking Barnes.

I look back in front of me, I roll my eyes without answering him.

"Do you think you'll be stunned there all day?"

I still don't answer him.

“Whatever.I have to go down to the kitchen if you move I can press the button"

I take a step back and mentally curse myself.

This place is huge because he has to go right where I'm headed?

For the whole time of the descent I don't say anything, I keep my arms crossed on my chest and my gaze fixed in front of me.

His damn perfume is intoxicating, he fills my nostrils and head.

Closing my eyes I can feel it on my tongue, obscene memories come to life in my mind.

I rub my legs together for relief, I feel my clit throbbing incessantly.

How the hell is that possible, this man isn't even looking at me and my panties are already soaked.

I sigh, he stealthily observes me attracted by the sound my lips have produced, after which he immediately goes back to staring at the elevator doors.

My only salvation?

Barnes appears to be a first-rate idiot.

Arrogant and pedantic.

His character will be enough to make me pass any fantasy about him.

God if I had known before that he was such a jerk I would never have had sex with him.

The bling of the elevator makes me jump in fright.

Barnes leaves without even deigning to look at me.

For a moment I am tempted to go back to my room just so as not to give him the satisfaction of having unwittingly helped me find the place I was looking for but then I think back to Tony and the concern he had in asking me if I wanted to have lunch with him so I follow him with my head down.

I walk into the kitchen 30 seconds after him.

"Hey Snow, you did it" a smiling Tony greets me.

"Yeah sorry but the shower lasted a little longer than it should" I reply embarrassed because I am clearly lying.

And Bucky knows this because I see a corner of his mouth rise in a small smile.

I blush.

"Don't worry kid, it's ok"

Then Tony turns to Bucky.

“Will you join us Barnes?Cheesburger" he asks, lifting the bag with the sandwiches.

"No thanks.I already have other commitments"

So saying he grabs a bottle of water and disappears through the door.

I watch him go.

"Is he always so annoying?"

Tony looks up from the bag in his hands and I realize I have spoken aloud.

"Sorry I didn't mean to be rude"

I bite my tongue.

“Nah…don't mind it.He won't be the best of fun but he's a good guy.A bit complicated and tormented but he is an excellent soldier in the field, whatever happens he is always there to watch your back”

I don't know what to answer so I just smile.

Tony hands me one of the cheesburgers and fries.

We eat in a pleasant silence.

After a few minutes I look up from my lunch and notice that Tony is staring at me.

"What?Do I have something on my face?"

I ask and I automatically run a hand over my face.

Tony laughs heartily.

"No, don't worry.I was just thinking what could have pushed a girl like you to become a professional assassin”

He says it with a disarming lightness.

“I've read your file Snow, you're good.A lot good.You could have made a career at S.H.I.E.L.D. why limit yourself to working in the shadows?"

This is the first time anyone has asked me such a question.Also because technically no one has ever come close to me so much.

"If you've read my file Stark, you know very well why I did it" my voice is annoyed.

I'm sorry to address him like that.

"You are telling me that the death of your..."

"Murder" I interrupt him immediately.

"Ok...did the murder of your parents push you to be who you are?"

His eyes are studying me, I can feel it.

"If you don't want to answer me, Snow does the same, don't worry"

I see him return to focus on the food in front of him.

I put a frie in my mouth and as I chew I start talking.

“That's why I'm here.Over the past 13 years I have used every free moment to look for my parents' killers, working in the shadows made it easier for me to search.But on my way I got lost.According to Fury, I was losing my humanity.Working with the Avengers, in theory, I should learn to trust others as well, not just myself”

I talked all the time looking at my hands, fearing the judgment in his eyes.

And instead when I look up at him in his eyes I see only so much sadness.

And compassion.

"I know what it feels like" his reply.

I know it.I know all about Stark.

"When my parents died I was only 20 years old.I was left alone with a multi-billion dollar company to run.I closed in on myself.I became arrogant, selfish.Then it got to the point that I couldn't even look at my reflection in the mirror anymore, I was doing stupid things just to destroy myself.In my opinion I deserved all that pain, I felt guilty for their death even though I have never had any guilt about it"

The heart in my chest gallops wildly, I would like to cry for God to have mercy on me but it seems that Stark is describing my miserable life.

I keep listening to what he has to say.

“But then Pepper came into my life.And the Avengers.I realized I was missing out on the best part.Everything changed when love arrived in my life"

"So do you think love is the solution to everything?" I ask him raising an eyebrow.

My voice exudes sarcasm.

"As trivial as it may seem, yes.The answer is yes"

We both finished eating, I ball up my sandwich and throw it all in the trash.

Tony is preparing to leave the kitchen.

“I have work to do now.You take the day off, settle down and get used to the place.And for anything you ask Friday"

I look at him confused.

"Who is Friday?"

“She is the AI who runs the tower.Just say her name aloud and ask for what you need"

Tony approaches the door but I need to ask him one last thing.

"Tony?" he stops and turns his face to me.

“Do you get used to it in the end?Do you get used to the absence of your parents?"

The man in front of me turns completely and takes a few steps in my direction.

I see him place a hand on my shoulder and squeeze it.

"No, it never goes away but when you manage to forgive yourself, their memory will be something pleasant"

I feel on the verge of tears.

"Thank you" my voice is just a whisper.

"You're welcome kid" and Tony goes away.

I rest with my back against the edge of the table.

My head falls forward and I feel some tears slipping out of my control.

Damn.

Tony's words hit me.

After all, he's right, it's me who keep blaming myself on something I've never been in control of.

I admire him, he is a strong and compassionate man.

Being able to forgive the murderer of his parents requires extraordinary fortitude.

The way he forgave Barnes for what he did is unsettling, he treats him like a friend.

He welcomed him into his home.

Obviously that not his fault, at the time he was still the Winter Soldier but this does not detract from Stark's magnanimous gesture.

Perhaps time will heal my wounds or I will continue to drag myself through this life like a wounded animal, waiting for death to come.

I need to distract myself, to vent the anger I feel inside of me.

I have to find the training room, Natasha told me more or less where to find it but I have the impression that I would be able to get lost looking for it.

"Uh...Friday?" I ask insecure addressed to nothing.

"How can I help you Agent Snow?" a female voice answers me immediately.

Wow, this is insane.

"Yeah, I...I would like to know where the gym is"

"It is on the first floor, second door on the right"

"Thanks Friday"

"Duty my agent Snow.For any other needs do not hesitate to ask"

Ok, this has been the craziest discussion of my life.

Stark's technology has something absolutely extraordinary about it.

I walk briskly to the elevator, I need to go to my room to change.

I'm wearing red shorts and a white top, my hair tied in a high ponytail.

Exactly 10 minutes later I am in front of the largest training room I have ever seen.

The floor is a glossy and bright white oak parquet.

The walls are replaced by large windows, the room is fully illuminated by natural light.

In the center of the room there is a ring, on the right there are punching bags that swing from the ceiling and a little further on there are benches and various weights and barbells.

On the left there are 4 treadmills and 4 ellipticals.

I realize I'm not alone, Sam is at one of the treadmills.

He is so focused that he doesn't notice my presence.

He runs hard, sweat beading his dark skin making it shiny and velvety.

I go in slowly because I don't want to take it out of focus but my sneakers betray me by creaking on the floor.

Sam immediately turns his gaze, wandering a bit around the great space until his eyes rest on my figure.

A sly smile is painted on his face.

“Sorry Sam, I didn't want to bother you.I'm leaving immediately"

"Are you kidding?" he asks me, raising an eyebrow.

“This place is big enough for both of us in fact it's big enough to house an entire football team.Join me"

Meanwhile he slows to a stop and then heads for the benches.

He grabs a towel that he rests on his shoulders and then grabs a bottle of water, he drinks in large gulps.

I approach a treadmill, a bit of a run as a warm-up is just what it takes.

I set the stamina and speed and started running, with the corner of my eye I notice Sam devoting himself to the abs.

Only our labored breaths resound in the air.

After 30 minutes of running I began to slow down, meanwhile Sam finished his exercises and sat in a corner to catch his breath.

I approach him.

“Are you ok Wilson?What are you doing sluggish?"

I smile at him to let him know that I'm joking.

I'm just trying to bond.

Sam laughs heartily, gets up and looks at me from head to toe as he approaches.

"Oh Agent Snow are you underestimating my abilities"

"Do you want to get in the ring?"

I ask him I address with a confident and bold air.

"Sure but don't worry I'll go easy on you"

The boy knows the fact of him but has no idea what I can do.

We both climb over the ropes and position ourselves facing each other.

We go in circles for a few seconds, neither of us makes the first move.

So, without thinking too much, I throw myself forward.

My fist right to his face which he promptly dodges.

We smile at each other.

Now he is moving forward, he kicks in to my stomach and I move to the side just in time.

He takes advantage of my movement to get behind me and close me in the grip of his arms.

I tug to try to free me.

I hear him whisper in my ear "Is that all you can do?"

I smile because I know he can't see me.

Quickly I give him a knee in the stomach, the violence of the blow makes him lean forward but his arms are still around me.

I take advantage of his brief moment of daze to give him another elbow in the stomach followed by a head on the nose and he lets me go, I turn quickly on myself and with a kick I mow his ankles.

Now he's on the ground curled up on himself and I'm towering over him.

"Is that all what you can do?"

I take it back using the same words as him.

"Ouch...sure you hit hard for being so small"

"Hey I'm more than proud of my 4.9 feet!"

I hold out my hand to help him get back on his feet and he accepts it.

"Sorry I didn't want to hurt you" I feel a little sorry.

"Don't worry!I would like to tell you that I am sorry too but I am somewhat stimulated by it"

"Are you serious?This is gross!"

I exclaim between amused and embarrassed.

But in the end we both burst out laughing.

"I'm kidding don't take it"

I see that Sam is keen to specify it so I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"No worries no apology.I got this.You know I have the impression that you and I will become great friends"

"It would be a pleasure Amaya"

We both go back to our rooms to take a shower.

I feel more relaxed and confident in the future than when I arrived this morning.

Maybe my life is really about to change.

Bucky POV

It's 7:00 PM, Steve and I are sitting on the high stools in front of the corner bar of the Avengers Tower.

"When is Sharon coming?" my best friend asks me.

"She is on her way, she should be here any minute"

We continue sipping our beer in silence.

Tonight I absolutely do not feel in the mood to go out for the evening, especially if She will be with us.

But I can't be the usual bad party so since Tony and Pepper left for a romantic weekend, the remaining inhabitants of the tower will take advantage of it to go for a drink all together.

After a few minutes of silence we hear heels ticking in the corridor and following the tall, slender figure of my girlfriend appears at the door.

She wears a short midnight blue satin dress, at the foot of the jeweled sandals and her hair is gathered in a soft braid.

She is beautiful but I can't feel "those" butterflies in my stomach.

“Hey babe, you are beautiful”

I tell her as she approaches me, I put my arm around her waist and she sits on my legs.

I give her a kiss.

"Thanks" she replies slightly embarrassed, then she turns to Steve.

"Hey Steve, how are you?"

"It's not bad.We have all been very calm lately.Crime seems to have taken a break”

We all three laugh.

Meanwhile we hear laughter and voices coming from the corridor.

God just hearing her voice makes me in a bad mood.Of course Steve and Sharon notice my change of expression.

The first to speak is the blonde man next to me.

"Really man?After 4 months you still can't stand her?"

Sharon intrudes.

"You overacting babe"

I raise an eyebrow, she continues undeterred.

“I don't understand why you don't give her a chance, she's so cute and nice”

“I find her annoying.And arrogant"

I reply angrily and then go back to drink my beer.

“Give it a chance, dude.She's a good girl”

“Steve is right.Look I know you don't like to bond with people but she is part of your team and she is not bad at all.Give her a chance"

I irritated sigh.

"But did you two agree tonight?"

Meanwhile Sam, Natasha and She make their entrance.

Sam is simply wearing jeans and a black shirt while Nat is wearing a beautiful red dress that comes above the knee with a sweetheart neckline.

To the delight of Steve who like a boiled fish he stood looking at her with his mouth open.

She approaches him and gives him a passionate, very passionate kiss.

“Hey you two, cut it out!You're not alone” Sam points out.

Steve blushes and Nat gives him her elegant red enameled middle finger.

We laugh.All together.

While for a moment I laugh carefree, I turn to the door and take my breath away.

For a moment our eyes meet, chaining each other.

There is no hatred or anger.

She wears a very short nude dress, it reaches mid-thigh.

The dizzying neckline embellished with many small sequins, at her feet she wears décolleté that recall the color of the dress.

Her wavy red hair falls soft and velvety down her back.

Her face is clean, very little makeup, except for her lips.

A sinful red illuminate them.

My mind immediately paints them wrapped around my dick.

Oh fuck.I'm fucked up.

I curse myself mentally because all this is wrong, I should react like this only for my girlfriend and for no one else.

She passes me leaving a trail of perfume that immediately reaches the crotch of my pants, I move uncomfortably.

Sharon rises from my lap to reach out to Amaya and hug her.

Then she approaches Steve and leaves him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey handsome” she greets him.

Meanwhile, Natasha and Sharon stand behind the counter to prepare some drinks.

Sam turns to Amaya.

"What does my sexy girl want to drink?"

"Since when have I been your Wilson?"

"You didn't say that last night..."

Everyone burst out laughing.

Everyone except me.

She sits down on the stool next to mine, I stiffen instantly.

"In your dreams Wilson, in your dreams"

I hate her way of flirting with everyone, I don't understand how Nat takes it when she does it with Steve.

She has bonded with everyone in these 4 months, with one exception of course.

With Tony they seem to be very close, often you can find them sitting together somewhere chatting.

Whether it's Tony's laboratory or the training room, they always find a moment to exchange a few words.

As if they shared a secret of their own.

With Steve, Sam and Natasha has established a beautiful relationship, they act as if they have known each other for a lifetime.

The way they talk, laugh and joke make me feel left out.

She has even befriended with Pepper and Sharon.

Sharon respects her very much and Amaya has always been very kind to her.

A voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"Babe.Babe?C'mon we have to go"

It's Sharon who talks to me.

So we walk outside and decide our destination.

Nat and Steve already seem to know where to go.

“Yes, it's a really nice place, it's down the street so we can walk.Steve and I found this out by accident a few weeks ago.What's that pub called, honey?"

Steve thinks about it for a moment.

"If I'm not mistaken it's called Terra Blues"

I can’t breathe.

I look up and meet Amaya's eyes fixed on me.

We both know what that pub represents to us.

Oh Amaya I know what you are thinking…your thoughts are the mirror of mine right now.

I see her swaying uncomfortably, she immediately looks away from my eyes and shakes her head, as if to free her mind from annoying thoughts.

She takes a step towards Sam and rests her hand in the crook of his elbow as if she needs some support.

He smiles softly at her and covers her hand with his.

We set out, the air of this June evening is quite pleasant.

The streets are full of people and the traffic seems out of control.

A typical New York Saturday night.

In front of me Sam and Steve are chatting about motorcycles, the two redheads giggle at who knows what as they walk hand in hand.

They attract a lot of attention on the street with their stunning bodies and Steve, even though he seems distracted by his argument, always has a watchful eye on the two girls.

Sharon and I are behind them, my arm wrapped around her shoulders as she is talking to me about something I can't understand.

I nod absently and thank god she doesn't notice.

Arrived at the pub we enter and are escorted to a table in front of the stage where a jazz band is performing.

We sit down and order the first round, Vodka for everyone.

We get lost in chatter and laughter for a while until out of the corner of my eye I notice that Amaya is distracted, she seems to be constantly looking for someone in the crowd.

I'm not the only one to have noticed it though.

"Hey are you waiting for someone Snow?" the former Russian spy asks her.

"Maybe" her only answer.

Now she has the eyes of the whole table turned towards her.

"What...what do you have to stare at me?"

"Who is this guy?" Sam asks feigning offense, she laughs and gives him a light blow on the chest.He pretends to get hurt and massages the affected area.

Amaya and Natasha look into each other's eyes and Romanoff exclaims “No way!No fucking way!Are you kidding me?"

Amaya smiles slyly without answering her.

Nat continues.

“Seriously?Lucas Scott?"

I see my girlfriend's head whirling towards Amaya.

"Do you really have a date with Agent Scott tonight?"

"It's not really a date, I told him where I was going to be tonight and since he's around he said he'll come by to greet me"

Amaya is keen to point out.

I am facing Sharon with my mouth wide open.

She notices it.

"What's up?"

As soon as I am about to answer her Amaya begins to laugh, a crystalline laugh.

Enchanting as the mermaid's voice and I am so enraptured that I can not help but turn to her.

She is looking at me and continues to laugh.

“Oh Barnes you should see your face now.You are red with jealousy“

I am stunned, it is the first time she has spoken to me in 4 months.

Everyone laughs and Sharon wraps her arms around my neck.

"C'mon James you know I only love you but objectively Lucas is one of the hottest agents working at Triskelion"

"How did you meet?" curious Steve intervenes.

"We met a couple of times in Washington and one thing led to another and we found ourselves chatting and exchanging numbers.We have been talking for about a month now" explains the former Agent Zero.

Sam gets up from his seat.

"Someone wants to dance?" he asks, turning his gaze to each of us.

Sharon stands up and holds out her hand to Sam.

“I'll come.Do you mind babe?" question addressed to me.

"No don't worry.Go ahead, you know I hate dancing"

She bends over me and kisses me.

Steve and Nat ask us what else we want to drink and they head over to the bar.

Sitting at the table, only Amaya and I are left, the memory of the only time I was here hits me fully.

Images of her kneeling at my feet fill my head, sending me jolts of pleasure that expand from my intestines to the crotch of my pants.

My cock twitch in my pants.

"You could at least pretend that you like me after 4 months, you moron"

Her voice rouses me.

"Sorry...what?"

"You got it, Barnes"

Amaya finishes her drink and turns completely to me.

Her green, mesmerizing eyes don't let me go.

“Look I know you don't like me and that's okay even if I don't understand why.I don't want anything from you, I've already got what I wanted.It was a one night only.I have no interest in you and I have no intention of meddling between you and Sharon" she leans her elbows on the table and leans towards me, her large and voluptuous breasts seem to want to get out of the subtle prison that is her dress.

She continues with her speech while I can't help but listen to her with my mouth open.

“I know it won't make any sense to you but after almost 13 years I don't feel alone anymore.By accentuating this work, I finally found friends, people who respect me and who love me for who I am.Don't make me leave all of this” her voice seems to break.

I feel guilty for acting like a perfect idiot.

She looks at a spot behind me and a big smile appears on her lips, then she brings her attention back to me.

She stands up and before leaving she tells me one last thing.

"You owe me this thing Barnes.I've always been fair to you.Please”

I look down at my beer and hear her sigh.

The time to look up and she is gone.

I turn my head behind me and see her hug a tall blond man.

I go back to my beer, confused and disoriented.

Steve and Natasha return to the table with our orders while Sam and Sharon are dancing and laughing in the middle of the floor, he is giving her a pirouette.

I pause to look at Amaya and that guy.

They are leaning against the bar counter, he is saying something to her and she throws her head back laughing heartily and then she puts her hand on his chest and they observe each other for a few seconds.

And then he kisses her.

His lips are on hers those of her who happily reciprocates, her hands go on his neck and caress him.

Instead, his hands are on her hips, I see how he holds her soft flesh.

I know the feeling that he is trying to hold her.

My hand on Vibranium automatically tightens around the glass.

Sam's voice rouses me from my anger.

I hadn't even noticed they were back at the table.

As I turn to him I notice Natasha's curious look at me, I pretend nothing has happened.

"They're getting into it, huh?" Sam giggles.

Them start a barrage of comments about the kiss but I do not pay the slightest attention.

I feel anger boiling in my stomach.

I lean towards my girlfriend's ear.

"What do you say if you follow me to the bathroom in 5 minutes?"

I see her pupils dilate, she bites her lip.

I can see a spark of lust ignite in her eyes.

"You are crazy James, you know?" so saying she gets up and goes to the bathroom.

Without saying a word, I too get up and follow her.

Once we get to the bathroom I don't even give her time to talk.

I drag her with me inside to one of the cubicles and slamming her against the wall I begin to kiss her passionately.

She unbuttons half my shirt and scratches my chest with her long fingernails.

My hands are immediately under the hem of her dress, my fingers immediately find her panties and push them aside.

I penetrate her with two fingers, she gasps in my ear.

I continue to kiss her while I frantically pump inside her and with my other hand I pinch and massage her clit.

She cum shortly after.

Then I face with her shoulders towards me and I lift her dress, I pull down my pants just enough to free my erection.

I enter her badly, in an almost animal way.

She screams with pleasure and I immediately plug her mouth.

Between our moans I whisper to her "Shut up or someone will hear us"

She nods and I keep holding a hand on her mouth.

I don't give a fuck if someone catches us, that's not why my hand is on her lips blocking her gasps.

I do it because it's not her voice that I would like to hear at the moment.

I keep fucking her mercilessly, she is forced to put her hands against the wall to keep her balance and not hit her face.

I hate myself right now.

I hate myself with all my heart.

But I couldn't stay a minute longer seeing Amaya kissing another man, seeing how another could touch her and hold her.

I'm freaking out.

Thinking that he'll be between her thighs tonight makes my bile rise in my mouth.

I feel Sharon's pussy tightening around me.

She is going to cum so I keep pushing, harder and harder until I feel her cum.

I don't stop and I keep going in and out of her body until after a few moments I cum too.

We both have shortness of breath and a heart pounding.

But for different reasons.

She looks ecstatic.

I just want to throw up.

I feel like a monster.

“It was great” she gasps turning around and wrapping her arms around my neck.

She kisses me lewdly like she's ready for round two.

"We should do it more often" she continues, giggling.

After that she breaks off and tries to fix herself up.

When we are presentable we go back to our friends' table.

I immediately notice that Amaya and that guy they sat down at the table.

Fuck.

When we sit down, Mister Blonde Hair holds out his hand to me.

"Nice to meet you Sergeant"

"My pleasure but please call me Bucky"

We smile only out of courtesy.

Sam is looking at me strangely.

"What's up?"

He laughs attracting the attention of the whole table.

He points to my chest with his finger.

"Your shirt dude"

I look down and realize that it is badly buttoned, I see Sharon blush and laugh, then she turns to me.She adjusting my shirt and turns to Sam.

"I got it.Shut the fuck up!" Sharon says.

Everyone laughs loudly.

Everyone except me and Amaya, I see disgust in her face.

It lasts the fraction of a moment then her attention is again attracted by her handsome Prince Charming.

The evening passes between chatter and laughter but I am distracted most of the time.

I keep thinking about what I did and above all why I did it.

Amaya is a know-it-all and annoying woman but that doesn't take anything away from the fact that she is damn sexy.

That if I could I would fuck her here and now, in front of everyone.

Sharon does not deserve any of this, the guilt is corroding my guts like acid.

Finally someone has decided it's time to go, maybe it was Steve, so we leave the club.

Sharon comes over and kisses me.

"Are you sure you have to go?"

She sighs

"Unfortunately yes, tomorrow morning at 5 I have a flight to Newcastle and I still have to go to the hotel to settle my suitcase"

I sigh too but with relief.

I see her calling a taxi, she greets everyone and I kiss her one last time.

"I call you soon" she tells me, I nod.

The taxi leaves.

We walk towards the tower.

Agent Scott is on his way with us.

Great.

Steve and Natasha are in front of everyone, walking embraced, chatting happily.

Amaya is in front of me, she shrugs her shoulders as if she is cold and Scott takes off his jacket to wrap it around her shoulders.

She smiled softly at him and intertwined her fingers with his.

I clench my fists in my pockets, the urge to tighten my fingers around his throat is too great.

As if an unknown force pushed me to punch him until his pretty face turned into a mask of blood.

Sam is walking unaware by my side, continuing to tell me about that beautiful blonde who gave him her number just before leaving the place.

Once we reach the tower, everyone goes to their room.

The first to leave us are Steve and Nat.We say goodnight.

The two redheads wink.

They both giggle knowing what will happen shortly thereafter.

Sam stops in front of his door.

"Goodnight guys and I recommend Amaya not scream too loud that I am light sleeper"

She blushes but laughs heartily followed by Lucas.

I can't stand that much and keep walking towards my room door.

"Fuck you Wilson!" I hear her answer.

The sound of heels behind me and as I am about to enter the room I hear her voice.

"Night Barnes"

"Goodnight to you too"

I answer without turning and I close the door behind me.

I punch the wall, the imprint of my hand in Vibranium remains carved.

I go to the bed and throw myself on it badly.

I squeeze my eyes tight.

I can imagine her right now, he will be undressing her and she with her wise lips will be showing him heaven.

I can see her lying with her legs apart, all on display just for him, begging him to take her.

Her breasts that sway to the rhythm of his thrusts.

He who will give her one orgasm after another by getting sated with her sweet and tender flesh.

To kiss and lick where my lips had been before.

I run my hands through my hair, squeezing the locks in my fists and pulling.

The pain can distract me from my thoughts.

I take off my clothes and take a shower, I need to wash Sharon's smell and my anger out of my body.

At this moment, her scented trail makes me nauseous.

With only boxers on I go to bed preparing myself for a sleepless night.

Please share, comment and rate ❤️

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@deansapplepie

[lord-of-hollows]

I just saw a post that said that people who don't like the idea of signing a contract before sex should be the ones signing a contract before sex.

Y....yeah, but nah.

I don't know how old a lot of the users on this website are. And I don't know how much sex any of them are having. I don't want to make assumptions, because that stands a little too close to unfair character judgement for me to be comfortable doing it.

Background on me just to lay out my bias, I am neurodivergent, straight male, approaching my 30s.

Im also coming at this from the perspective of someone who has signed a consent contract for a BDSM "free use" scene. I won't go into the terms in great detail but it was three months in advance, everyone involved relieved a copy and was required to get a sexual health screening and be vetted by other participants before it happened. I was cleared and healthy, vetted by other participants and backed out at the last minute because after thinking about it I didn't want to. While I found the idea arousing, I realised I didn't want to actually do it. That it's okay if some fantasies stay just fantasies and the reality probably isn't equal to the idea in my head.

So speaking purely from my own experience so as to not make assumptions about others, as a man I will refuse to believe a woman is interested in me until she has basically taken that fact and beat me over the head with it. The idea of having a consent contract on hand ready to go feels blindingly fucking arrogant. As if assuming women would want sex with me is a step too far. And that's my own toxic feelings of worthlessness coming out to say hello and I understand that it's probably not a good mindset to be in.

So every time a woman has been interested in me, no matter how obvious in hindsight, has been a surprise to me. For my current girlfriend I did not believe I had a thing going on with her until a few moments after she literally jumped on me to kiss me out of nowhere. Well, out of nowhere to me but she'd been planning on it for a while.

Strictly speaking, she did not have consent to do that, not verbal or written, she couldn't have because I didn't even realise that was on the table. However, I'm glad she did that and it's literally never been a problem.

Now this isn't to say im not attracted to the people I have sex with enough to pursue them, I simply believed they didn't want me specifically to pursue them, so I didn't. I have been very attracted to almost everyone I've been with, yes I've had drunken mistakes I regret and they do make me feel kind of gross when I look back on them. I took this as a reason to watch how much I'm drinking and who I'm drinking with.

Heres an example of how thick-headed I can be: When I was 22, one of my exes before we started dating would check the time by grabbing my arm and looking at my watch, sneakily stroking my forearm and holding my hand sometimes. I'd just sit there thinking "Why didn't she just ask the time?" But you just know if she wanted the time she could have just looked at her phone. In hindsight that much is obvious but at the time I was oblivious. At the time I just thought she was my new friend who had a weird sense of when to touch people.

Another ex, think I was 24 or 25? She would constantly say things like "I'm tired of being single I'm ready to start dating again. I think what I want is a man exactly like you." Can you guess what my response was? "I know! I'll introduce you to Logan. He's so much like me, people think we're brothers. Plus it's been a while for him too." Took me weeks to figure out she didn't want to meet Logan.

I don't want to give more examples because it's bringing up some memories of people who were very important to me who just aren't in my life anymore and that's kind of depressing. Suffice it to say that flirting with me is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a baby. I'm glad for the interaction with another person but I will not understand what's happening at all.

And that's how most of my romantic life and sex life had been. I'm hanging out with a new friend, having a good time, and then they're suddenly kissing me or pulling at my belt. Almost none of the sex I have ever had (outside of very, very specific instances of BDSM play) has been something that I knew was coming or something that I initiated.

Strictly speaking, you could say that I have not consented to most of the sex I've had. You would be right but personally I don't have a problem with it. I just understand that sexually I'm a very passive person. Sex has never been a high priority for me, even when I was a teenager flooded with all them teenaged emotions. The sexual feelings at that age were often an annoyance to me that I had to deal with so I could focus on something else. It's only now as an adult I've found a way to make my sexual experiences and emotions something that feels good to indulge in.

I don't have a problem with how my sex life has been, however if the idea of both partners needing to know beforehand that they were going to be sexual became something prevalent in society, my sex life would be so different I just... I don't think I'd have the positive mindset towards it that I do now.

More than that I feel like a lot of my difficulties understanding when someone is interested in my are related to my neurodivergence. I'm very willing to accept people testing boundaries not as them seeing what I'm okay with, but just as them having different boundaries than other people and not thinking about it further than that. I feel like the idea of a consent contract outside of incredibly specific scenarios (thinking BDSM play and/or group sex) would exclude people like me from sexuality, by that I mean people who don't pick up on the social cues that someone is interested in you and who don't deliberately pursue sex.

[mixed-not-confused]

What is "Neutral?"

To members of minorities, "neutral" quite often means "a space where we go by the rules of majority, and where we are careful about bringing our own truth to the table."

Below are three examples:

Many people belonging to gender and sexual minorities constantly hear assumptions about their life and their identity, before (if ever!) they dare to say out loud something like, e.g.:

"Well, actually, I'm a woman," or "Actually, the child doesn't have a mother. The child has two fathers."

I was sitting on a bus with a relatively new friend. In the context of a conversation on stressing out about things, I mentioned "hmm, you seem to me a person who gets anxious about a lot of stuff." The conversation turned at that point to them telling me they are trans. As a result, they felt constant discomfort and anxiety stemming from their choice to hide their real identity in public. They were able to be themselves only in places where they were sure of their own safety. So not at the gym, in any case, where we had initially met.

2. The "right" way to eat at a fancy Western restaurant might be something throws people belonging to ethnic and cultural minorities, and those from "lower" socio-economic classes into the deep end of discomfort.

What unites both myself and my partner is our deep hatred of "fancy dinners." For him, as someone with a Finnish rural working class background, he struggles to conform to middle-class norms, whilst I struggle to fit in with European norms. Here, the result is however the same - "Which friggin' fork am I supposed to use first?"

3. Neuroatypical* people often feel a lof of shame surrounding their needs, as they've often been told that there is something wrong with them. A lot of energy is expended dealing with shame, and in trying to "behave normally."

For example, morning meetings are extremely difficult for people with ADHD, as they are often unable to sleep at a reasonable hour. Shame about their "problem" often leads to not being able to communicate their needs. A friend of mine is learning to set their own boundaries here. Previously, they adjusted to norms by sleeping errattically, napping here and there, waking up for meetings. This has come at a great cost to their health.

*Side rant: "atypical" as a term should be questioned. Who is typical? (Answer: Nobody! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbiveCNBOxk) Society is built according to the norms of those in power, and minorities with less power constantly navigate and conform to these norms. Uncertainty and discomfort are a part of our every day reality.

If we turn this around, and centre the needs of minorities for a change, this might cause some discomfort to those in the majority. Without discomfort, though, we can't learn and grow. When we see how diverse we are, equity, inclusion and belonging for all means that especially those with more power must face some discomfort, learn, and grow. Then, we *also* need to make some changes with that power and knowledge! It's not enough that we stand against discrimination and racism, learn about minorities, and see our unconscious biases: For real equity, concrete actions must be taken to challenge and deconstruct harmful norms and "neutrality." Without action, all that learning and growing is simply performative DEI (compare this with e.g. 'greenwashing').

If the equity and inclusion of those with less power is important to your organization, then you need to be able to build a safer space, where they can be realised. A safer space is ont only a space, where you don't have to experience any discomfort or challenging. Rather, it is a space where you can safely confront your discomfort, challenge your world views, and learn new things.

[goldenlie]

glad we share an opinion queen!! also getting annoyed because of 4 year old acting like a 4 year old is incredibly valid to me tbh definitely had my own share of yup definitely no chlidren for me ever moments. I feel like later on it gets a little better because now we are focusing more on Kazuki and Rei's past and issues each of them brings to the table lmao I usually have issue only when people claim Miri isn't at all acting like an actual 4 year old and compare her to... Anya... a child who can literally read minds 😐 and will change her behaviour accordingly to what she hears as we have seen her do many times before and I didn't even watch all of spy x family like sir surely you are joking right now?? anyways I hope you are doing well, it's been a while ^_^ what are you up to these days? hope uni isn't giving you too much of a hard time!

(formerly) QQQQQNFFFFFF ENJOYYEEEERRR!!!! AGNESSS!!! It's so good to hear form you <3

If there's one thing I'm reliant at its being a bit of a hater to kids antics, I simply lack the gift of patience. I am right there with you in those moments I'm ngl. Okay the focus on more of their past dynamic and potentially how they got to be in the profession they're in sounds pretty interesting. The potential for angst skyrockets with each word I hear about this show and I am loving it.

That is,,,, a real unique comparison people have made. As someone who has suffered through two seasons of spyxfamily I can definitely vouch that Anya and Miri are not similar characters at all (To clarify spy family was good up until every progression the characters had was wrote away for a cheap punchline or coincidental memory loss, literally happened every second episode after s1 ep9). The only similarity between the two shows point blank is the premise. I would assume people are trying to draw nonexistent parallels purely based off of that, I have no idea as to why though. From what I saw (so, so little) Miri was undoubtedly acting like a four year old, when she spilt that drink in episode 2 it was very on brand kid looking for attention, I thought it showed her age pretty well. Anya as an older character, literally six years old, but she had a lot more motives at play. Obviously she's still young and immature but a lot more mature than Miri nonetheless. Anya could play strategy and was attempting to aid Loid with his spy missions, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume Miri is not going to locate a bomb or something in the remaining 10 eps I have to watch. Miri seems to be a much more honest and open character whereas Anya can be more scheming and conniving (I say with love, I did like Anya's character up until everyone minus Yor became very dislikable very fast), for her own self preservation. The two of them are pretty incomparable, I can see where your disbelief is coming from.

Uni is making me spin in a circle five times and then jump through a hoop 2 meters off the ground. The biggest thing rn is finding time to carry out experiments for my thesis which I will hopefully finish up with this week! It's actually such coincidental timing but this week I have to give a presentation on the most impactful book I've ever read (purely to build confidence in public speaking, damn though, thought I was in science so I didn't have to talk personally) which was extremely difficult considering all impactful "books" I've read in the past four years have been on ao3. So I ended up scavenging through our old messages trying to locate some book recs you had! I actually ended up with another recommendation from the bts boy though, who was reading Almond, this one is called "The Midnight Library" and sounded pretty intriguing! I'll be reading it tonight and tomorrow so if it's worth it I'll update you. What about you queen, are you still working in the job you started last year? I hope it's been going well if so! I know you're into buddy dads these days but anything else been keeping you occupied? Anime wise myself I'm actually about halfway through hunter x hunter?? I started the end of December and it intrigued me ngl. I'm not sure if you've seen but it's very easy to like the main character and his three main besties so I'm looking forward to seeing how things progress further. I also watched the entirety of Voltron out of pure curiosity for how bad the ending was? And I was surprised to see it was actually as shit as they say. However comma the show did lose its appeal much much earlier, have you ever watched? I actually finished up a kdrama series recently as well I believe you recommended me last year called Beyond Evil and holy fucking shit was it good. Usually I fear for around the halfway mark of kdramas that they lose their purpose but I swear they had only warmed up the engine by ep 8. It was addictive to watch and I was so immersed, my love dong sik and his relationship with inspector Han growing and changing throughout the series was extremely interesting to watch unfold. They were a powerful duo when they worked together and I will miss the thrill of each ep.

I hope you've been having a good time in general queen and things have been going well for you :D

[darke15]

Rhymieeeeeeee 🖤🖤🖤 @rhymingtree

BUT I'M HERE NOW AND I AM READY FOR THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE 🙂

Nooooooooo 😭😭😭

Day 234 of fucking 619... jesus. Do you think Ollie ever waited for her to just crack or did he know she'd be holding on for that long.

He was v annoyed that she was as strong as she was 

The Doctor was intent on bringing you to your knees and, luckily, you were intent on…not doing that.

Gotta love her planning skills

She’s trying her best 

THE FUCKING SOLDIER

HE'S SO SWEET

Fr tho 

he's scraggly and in dire need of some therapy, but he's sweet

He just needs a hug

Did Novak ever see the Soldier's obedience when it came to 'keeping her alive' and 'not hurting her'  as simply the Soldier taking orders or did he ever see that there were already cracks and Bucky's humanity seeped through when it came to watching over her?

He def saw something but he didn’t know what it was until it was too late. 

If you couldn’t remember him then…then you couldn’t remember… — “Cierra tus ojos, mi amor,” he murmured, holding you against his chest as you began to struggle. He turned quickly, his back to the pair of rockets that were shooting toward you. He whispered in your ear, cradling your head against his neck, “Te quiero. Te quiero. Te quiero. Te—” — — Close your eyes, my love. I love you. I love you. I love you. I— — Him. You squeezed your eyes shut as your chest began to heave, “Danny.”

haha fuck you too

Yeah, that’s fair 

You couldn’t let Novak take Danny from you twice.

The chapter barely started darke what the heck

oops

did she just call novak Norman? i love her

Names are hard

if I were her i'd fuck up his name intentionally all the time just to fuck with him

I'd call him Nietzche or Nirvana or Noology

Lol 😂😂😂

What if Nomad—nope, not that one—had found out you were talking to him and separated the two of you?

she's worried she'll lose the Soldier too? 😭

I mean hat makes sese considering he's the only person in her life right now who hasn't actively hurt her or questioned her.

Exactly. He’s one of the few ‘peaceful’ constants rn

no stop caring about Ollie he doesn't deserve it

She doesn’t know 😭

stop caring about ollie

But she doesn't know 😭😭

STOP FUCKIN-

SHE DOESN'T —

“I promised,” you whispered to yourself under your breath as you straightened yourself up the wall and let your gaze flick to the door.

girl no

Girl yes

how in the heck does she still have the energy to kick ass right now

She’s been hopped up on experimental drugs

he was so much bigger than you remembered him.

i'd be having a very different reaction right now in another context but right now i'm just terrified

Pfffffttttt 😅

also,  he was so much bigger than you remembered him means her memory's gone to shit BUT he was so much bigger than you remembered him means Nepotism had done something to him that enhanced him.

😏😏😏

i just gotta say (even though the current scene is harrowing and really fuckin dark) you're so good at descriptive narration

Thanks 😬😬😬

You felt the instant Danny went limp and let you go. Felt your bones snap as the Humvee landed on your legs. The smoke burned at your lungs, sand clouded your vision, but Danny’s hand was in yours. Then you heard his last breath—his last heartbeat

and fuck you again.

Yep 

i can't keep letting you make me cry like this

You do this to yourself

William was the boss. David was your fiance. Thomas was the medic. Owen was the computer guy. So…what were you?

this is psychological torture of the audience this all goes against the geneva convention this is fuckin illegal darke why the heck IS SHE FORGETTING ALL OF THEM THIS SOON

😀😀😀😀😀

The bioweapons from Paris AND Tokyo were Nocuous' experiments whaaaaat

😈😈😈

The guards shoved you against the table as they began to file from the room before a hand as cold as death wrapped around your wrist.

Five minutes ago that cold was soothing and gentle

Crazy how quick things go to shit 😬

I love how well this could all be parallel visuals in an actual show or movie

unfortunately it just lives inside my brain and i can't admire it the way it deserves

the fucking edits we could make…

Ughhhhhhh the edits would be so doooopeeeeeeeee

WOAH

SHE DID WHAT

SHE FUCKING FLUNG HIM ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM WHAT THE FUCK

Even in novak’s failure, there was some success

I love how even Noctule was shocked like this wasn't everything he was hoping for.

He was just surprised that he almost got it right

WOAH

HE'S BACK

GENTLE SCRAGGLY BOY IS BACK

Yay 

I am so confused was it the kick that brought him back or... did the kick turn him on or something

Yes 

of course you fuckin' ended it with Danny of course you fucking did

Sorry not sorry. You should’ve seen this coming by now

BRO

whaaaatttt

YOU CAN'T PUT A MOMENT THAT FUCKING SWEET INTO THIS OF ALL THINGS

Yes 😈

— “Well,” you puffed, sitting beside him with a roll of gauze in your hands, “Where doesn’t it hurt?” — — He looked up at you, a mischievous smile curling to his lips before he pointed to his unbroken wrist, “Here.” — — You raised a brow, reached out to the wrist before bringing it to your lips. Danny’s grin grew as you did before he pointed to his cheek, “Here.” — — A smirk found its way to your face as you pushed out of your seat and he pulled you between his legs. You pressed a kiss to his cheek, earning yourself a giggle before Danny pulled away. He pressed a finger to his lips, “Here.” —

I'M NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS

Bite me 

and then cute Danny moments is followed by cute Soldier moments like WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Shits and giggles, Rhymie. Shits and giggles

im crying into a burger right now i look ridiculous

That sounds good rn…..the burger not the crying 

“Tell me, my little phantom, how do you create something like you? What must we put a person through to become perfection?” 

at risk of sounding like a TikTok comment: he ate that

Pfffffft 😂

oh god if Nominal was real do you think people would make edits of him

and I don't mean like... the kind that you made of all the villains and shit but... like... you know the ones of Pedro…

Ooooh for sure. There’d be the people with the crushes on him and everything

EW let's not think about that

You started it

but my mind is fuckin disgusting so let me put focus on

“You can scream for me.”

TikTok would love that for all the wrong reasons

That would be an audio in and of itself

Everytime Ghos tugs on her restraints the Soldier just walks up and adjusts them... his love language is easing the pain of torture. I love him.

He’s trying his best

I need to know what happened at the county fair Ghost almost died at.

In some other universe she might've actually died there and I wanna know if it was cotton candy food poisoning or decapitation via roller coaster ride.

Sketchy roller coaster collapse

oh hello Oliver you anak ng putang dinampot lang sa bangketang iniputan ng ibon putanginang gago

yes

You tried to figure out how to bring him back to you but it seemed to be different every time. You couldn’t pin down what brought back his memories.

when in doubt, kick him across the room. that seemed to get him going

The only time violence is a solution

I love hwo while she's kicking ass right now I'm getting all hopeful while completely aware she's not getting out just yet and things are only about to get so much worse for her

Right? That shit hurts

oof you know how to take it dark, darke

😬😬😬

STOP IT WITH THE DANNY FLASHBACKS STOP

No 

“Promise me something?” you asked with a shiver, “Don’t leave me, okay?” “I’m not going anywhere, Soldier Girl.”

It's a great fucking thing I plan on watching a movie after this because if I end my night on THAT I will cry myself to sleep.

Lol 

the flashback chapters are literally amazing, you never miss and I always go in expecting them to be fucking awesome but they exceed expectations every damn time.

Thank you 🖤🖤🖤

the parallels between Danny and Bucky, and Narwhal's bonechilling presence is just chef's kiss. I love Nugget's effortlessness. he's just so scary.

🤣🤣🤣

He'd be terrifying on screen, which is why I have to be grateful he's only in fanfic. If he was real I'd be pissing myself in a movie theatre.

He would be absolutely terrifying 

And I did go the entire chapter not calling him by his real name and I'm so proud of myself for that.

congratulations

I love the flashback chapters so fricking much and I can't wait to seew what unfolds in the next one. The day all of this comes full circle fully will be fricking epic.

Thank you 🖤🖤🖤

CHAPTER 86: FLASHBACK: THE MAN IN GREY

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

“I don’t remember anything.”

He shrugged, nodding to one of his guards as he backed away from you and took back his notebook.

“We shall start with something easier, hm?” Novak said, settling down in his chair with his book and another file, “Who else is on your team?”

“Make no mistake, Lieutenant, I will break you,” he snarled, his voice low and dark, “I do not care how long it takes. I do not care what I have to do to you, I will do it. And you will give me what I want.”

You leveled another glare against him, wrenching your chin out of his grip, “Never.”

“We shall see.”

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

» CHAPTER 86: FLASHBACK: THE MAN IN GREY

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

@thexbookxnerdx // @autumn-em // @fadingbakeryfarmoperator // @rhymingtree // @itsmeatballworld // @kippykasey // @turtleedovee // @kamalymaly // @onewithnomightypowers // @y-napotat // @riahmcq // @thequeenofthefallen // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @fnnshelbys // @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul // @banbananas // @beans-and-toast // @violetvictoriabarnes // @oikawasblueearbud // @itsarussian // @mrsbarnesinmyimagination // @oopsiedoopsie23 // @luhuhzy // @heyimjustlaura12 // @moonlightreader649 // @petalren // @sighmurderbot // @soldat-petala // @useless-creature-213 // @xiyouchan // @kaiblog50 // @bookfeen // @nx-crisis // @aftermatharchives

***if you have a strike through your handle, it wouldn’t let me tag you 😞

[winter-soldier-vibes]

I have a request for your future work. If you are comfortable writing this topic, I'd love to read it.

I have always had very bad cramps when I'm on my period. I also have PMS so I struggle with pain a week before my period starts. And It makes me think, if I could not let go of this cruel pain until menopause, I'd rather stop living. (Sorry it sounds heavy)

I want Bucky to comfort women who are struggling with serious period cramps ( Dysmenorrhea ) and PMS.

Thank you for reading my request! You can ignore this if you are not feeling right!

I love you so much❤️

Of course!!!

------------

PMS for Please Make it Stop

Bucky x reader

Summary: Reader suffers from severe cramps and PMS symptoms on and in between her periods. Bucky, her boyfriend, comforts her as much as he can.

Word count: 1666

Warnings: talk of everything that comes with periods, pain and cramps, PMS, fluff

A/N: Thank you for the request, and I am so sorry that it’s so painful for you! I’ve had a lot of experience with “that time of the month” feeling completely unbearable, and I hope that this fic is helpful! I don’t know exactly what you’re going through because each person has different symptoms with different severities and time spans. I truly hope that this helps you! I’m always here to talk as a fellow person with periods and the emotions that come with them!

Tags: @mardema @buckfics @stucky-on-spiderman @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @barnesplums @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @babyboibucky

-------------------------------------------

You rolled over in bed, curling in on yourself and using your pillow to suppress a groan. It was early morning, you could tell because the sun was up but Bucky hadn’t left for his run with Steve yet. It was that time of the month again, the one you hated so goddamn much. The one every woman hated so much. But it was never just the few days of blood they had taught you about in sex ed.

You hadn’t been prepared for the cramps, bloating, mood swings, headaches, cravings, and pain…

So. Much. Pain.

You could handle blood, that wasn’t an issue for you. You had seen your share of bloodshed on the battlefield. It was the horrible cramps that felt like something was stabbing you from the inside out constantly for a week preceding the bloodshed that was too much for you. It paralyzed you in a way. It hurt to do anything at all. As much as you hated to admit it, you could deal with any cut, burn, or broken bone. But these cramps had you curled in a ball with tears in your eyes.

You let out another groan and felt Bucky stir next to you. He turned over and rubbed one of his hands up and down your arm and pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, why are you awake?” he asked softly, sleep still lacing his voice. There were only 2 reasons that you would be awake. Either you had a nightmare, or...

You let out a small whimper as another wave of pain came over you.

...cramps.

“Hey, it’s okay, come here,” he said before carefully wrapping his arm around your stomach, rubbing small circles over your stomach. He brought his body flush against you so his chest to your back, without squeezing you too tightly. You sighed in relief, his warm body easing your pain slightly. He pressed soft kisses to your temple, whispering reassuring words in your ear.

He had learned a lot rather quickly when it came to helping you with your pain. He hadn’t known much at all at first, growing up in the 40’s where people never talked about it. When he had first walked in on you curled in the fetal position, crying and whimpering, he had been so worried. So when you referred to it as ‘just a period’ and that ‘it’s happened before', he was very confused.

He thought a period was something you ended a sentence with.

You had sent him to Nat and Wanda to explain what was happening. You had synced up with them naturally, but their cramps weren’t as severe as you. Everyone's experiences of periods, their symptoms, and PMS differently, but they felt bad for the severity of yours.

He was very confused as to why he had to ask other people about your pain. When he approached the two wide-eyed and confused, asking why you were in severe pain with no injuries, they had to try not to laugh.

They explained the basics to him, and what was off-limits. No assuming it was happening because of mood swings, no expecting you to keep functioning at peak condition, no mentioning how the emotional mood swings were happening

He was just in awe of it - how women were expected to just act naturally as if they weren’t bleeding at a constant rate while dealing with horrible pain and emotional mood swings. He thought that it was amazing that it was expected that they act naturally.

It took a little bit of trial and error and a lot of patience on both your parts, but he knew how he could help make these days as bearable as he could.

He would spend these days close to you, showing you a lot of affection. He would be gentle and patient with you, reminding you how much he loved you. He would get you anything you needed, be it food or pads or tampons. Once you had sent him to get pads and tampons and he had come back with one of every box with a sheepish look on his face.

“I didn’t know which ones you wanted so I got...all of them.”

You had laughed so hard that it hurt, but it was worth it. He made you promise not to tell Sam.

But eventually, he had learned what you needed. How he could help. The heat helped ease your cramps, so he’d hold you close, but not tightly. Rubbing your stomach helped too, in slow, lazy circles.

While he hated seeing you in pain, he loved taking care of you. Anything he could do to help you he would do.

Another cramp made you shift slightly, trying to find the impossible position that would help relieve the constant pain. You let out a small groan, trying to curl in tighter on yourself. Bucky pressed a small kiss to your temple.

“It’s okay angel, it’s alright.”

“It hurts,” you said, voice cracking.

“I know it does, I know,” he said, using his left hand to brush some hair out of your face.

“I just want it to stop hurting so much,” you said, letting out another pained whimper.

“I can’t imagine,” he said, sincerely. He couldn’t imagine the same pain every month with no relief or solution. He knew just how strong you were, strong as anyone on the team if not stronger. Seeing you in this much pain must have meant it was unbearable.

“I can’t make it go away but I’m here to do whatever I can to help, okay?” he whispered against your skin.

“I’m sorry about this,” you said.

Bucky took a deep breath. “Did you choose to go through this?” he asked softly.

“N-no.”

“Then you have nothing to apologize for.”

You nodded slightly, your heart melting. You tried to take slow and even breaths. After a few moments passed, he asked “Can I help you to the shower? You always say how much the hot water helps.”

You paused for a moment before you nodded, and he pressed another kiss to your temple before standing up and moving to the other side of the bed to help you stand. Moving from your position sounded like the worst idea right now, but you took a deep breath before taking his hands. You sat up slowly, groaning as your hand wrapped around your stomach. You stood up shortly after, bending forward slightly as you made your way to the bathroom with Bucky. He had noticed a bloodstain on the bed, but he didn’t say anything. You didn’t need to know that.

He turned on the water for you, checking the temperature every few moments. Once he deemed that it was hot enough but wasn’t going to burn your skin, he told you and gave you a quick hug before giving you some privacy. You had always enjoyed intimate showers together just...not when you had your period to worry about. When he closed the door, you started to slowly undress to get into the shower. You got into the shower, sighing in relief as it helped soothe your cramps.

Bucky, meanwhile, was working fast. First he texted Steve that he wouldn’t be able to make it to training today, knowing he would understand. He then moved to make the bed with clean sheets, so you wouldn't see the small bloodstain on the current ones. He didn’t want you to worry or feel bad about it. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and one of his t-shirts that you had always loved. He cracked the bathroom door open and placed them on the counter, careful not to disturb you. He then quickly ran down to the kitchen, still empty for the moment, and grabbed a few of your favorite snacks along with a few water bottles to bring back upstairs.

When he came back to the room, he noticed the water had been turned off. He set the water and snacks on the bedside table as you opened the bathroom door, hair in a messy bun and looking much more refreshed. “Feeling better?”

“A little,” you said quietly before wincing slightly. Bucky gave you a small smile before taking your hand and bringing you over to the bed, him sitting down and leaning against the headboard. He helped you sit down between his legs so you were able to lean your back against his chest. You laid your head back against him and he wrapped his arms around you so his human arm was on your lower stomach, his metal arm resting over it. You let out a small sigh, relaxing back against him. He pressed a small kiss to your temple, rubbing smooth lazy circles on your stomach.

“Try to get some rest, doll.” he whispered. “We can watch your favorite movie when you wake up.”

You turned slightly to look up at him. “But you hate that movie.”

“But you don’t,” he said simply.

You felt tears brim your eyes even though it felt so stupid. “I love you, Bucky.’

“I love you too angel,” he whispered, pressing a last kiss to the side of your head. “Try to get some rest.”

[crackheadgeminibby]

mistakes were made

pairing: chris evans x black!reader

warnings: language, age gap, angst, mentions of sex TW body insecurities and talk of weight gain

word count: 2.9k

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape or form or reposted on any other platform

picture credit: screengrab from "Captain America Dinner Party" on youtube

You finish getting dressed and pick up everything you need to go for a run. As you’re walking down the last steps, you see that Chris is sitting on the couch, working on something on his computer. You come up behind him and softly kiss his temple before saying,

“Hey baby. I just put Emma to sleep and I’m gonna go for a run. Can you just pay attention and make sure she doesn’t wake up, please?”

Chris absentmindedly nods and mutters a “be careful”. You faintly smile and roll your eyes at his unwavering concentration but make sure to turn the volume of the baby monitor all the way up before leaving.

You go out through the garage and smile up at the sky, feeling the heat of the sun warming up your face.

You start to run the route you used to before getting pregnant with your baby girl. Last Sunday, it had been five months since your bundle of joy had been born. As much as you utterly adored her and the experience of carrying your own child, you had not appreciated the effect that the pregnancy had on your body.

On the contrary, most mothers-to-be were described as glowing and full of new energy but while you were pregnant, you always felt like you were about to get a cold and you had put on so much weight that you could barely recognize yourself. You had thought that it was only the pregnancy hormones changing your body that way as you were still very young, but today, five months after giving birth, your body had stayed the same and that certainly was not helping your confidence.

You weren’t sure if Chris had noticed your insecurities that manifested themselves by you eating almost the same meager meals every day and pushing away all sorts of sexual interactions with him. Since he had never mentioned anything or ever seemed frustrated with you, you thought he simply didn’t notice it or just didn't mind it.

Lost in your thoughts, you’re back home before you know it. As you’re entering the garage, you faintly hear Chris’ voice travel through the house all the way to you. Slightly confused, you assume that he must have forgotten to tell you he had an appointment or something, so you make sure to be as silent as possible to not disturb him.

“Bro, I know, it’s fucking crazy. I actually have my own child now.”

You smile softly at his excitement. You’re downing a bottle of water you took from the fridge when your ears perk up at your name coming out of Chris’ mouth.

“Oh, Y/N? Yeah, you know, she’s fine, she's good.”

Tilting your head slightly, you try to understand the sudden shift in Chris’ mood: even from two rooms away, you could feel his energy change.

“No, it’s fine, it’s just that she’s been kind of weird since the baby.”

You frown at hearing Chris say that. He never mentioned anything to you so why the hell was he talking about it with whoever was on the other end of the phone?

“No but like bro, look, it’s like this. I’ll be out all day doing whatever, and then when I come home, she’s all over me, being super clingy and all. Like, she will literally not let me go anywhere. But then, whenever I try to ease the mood into, you know, something more sexual, she just shuts down and says that Emma needs some food or something and she leaves. Then, when she comes back, she’s practically running from me like I have the fucking plague or something!”

As Chris is listening to what the person on the phone is responding, you start to feel a knot in your throat and you know that if you don’t do anything soon, you’re going to be full-on sobbing. As you’re working on your breathing and a plan, you hear Chris say,

“Dude, I literally thought the same thing. I swear. But, when we went for her check-up a little after she gave birth, the doctor said we couldn’t have sex for 6 weeks. It’s been like 20 weeks now!”

Unable to contain your emotions any longer, you leave your water bottle on the counter and run back to the garage, as silently as you can. Once in the safety of the garage, tears stream down your face as you let out a sob that brings you to your knees. You let yourself cry for what feels like forever, but you know it must not have been more than 5 minutes.

When you start to calm down, you focus on finding a plan to make sure Chris didn’t know that you were eavesdropping on his phone conversation. You take deep breaths before wiping your face and fixing your appearance as best as you can while using the rear-view mirror of your car.

Once you’re certain that you can’t do anything more, you take a final breath before opening the door and slamming it loud enough for Chris to hear that you’re in the house. As you’re approaching the living room, and thus, the staircase leading to your room, you faintly hear Chris say, “Yeah, man. I’ll talk to you later.”

You pass behind him while keeping your head held high and not giving him a single glance. As you start to climb up the stairs, you see that Chris is turning towards you.

“Hey baby, I didn’t hear you come back. How was your run?”

You take a deep breath before answering as calmly as you can, “Fine. I’m going to take a shower.”

Chris hesitates for a second before responding, “Um, okay, I’ll start dinner then.”

You don’t answer and run up the last couple of stairs as you feel your resolve crumbling. You hurriedly take some random clothes and a towel before locking yourself in the en suite bathroom. As soon as the door is closed, you put your hand over your mouth as a cry escapes you again. You put your clothes and towel on the counter before sitting in front of your bathtub. You don’t know how long you stay there, stifling your cries, but you suddenly hear the doorknob jiggling before a loud knock resonates through the bathroom.

“Y/N? You okay in there? I heard some weird noises.”

You clear your throat as softly as you can before answering, “I’m fine, I just stubbed my toe.” You cringe as your voice breaks halfway through your sentence.

The doorknob jiggles again before you hear, “Are you sure? And why is the door locked? You never lock it.”

“Uh... I'm on my period.”

You roll your eyes at your dumb and illogical excuse but it was going to have to do for now.

Before Chris can say anything else, you start the shower, rapidly take your clothes off and step inside. Both Chris and you knew that when the shower water was on, it was almost impossible to hear anything else in the bathroom.

You spend at least an hour under the scalding water, and you finally get out as you see a glimpse of the time on the bathroom clock: 6:45pm. It was time to start getting Emma ready for bed and you knew that she rarely slept through the night if you weren't the one to put her to bed. Knowing that this meant that nobody in the house would really get any sleep, you reluctantly turn off the shower water and get out of the shower.

As you’re toweling off, you can faintly hear music coming from outside of the bathroom. You put on the clothes you had taken from your room and put them on.

How ironic. You were wearing the same shirt from the first time Chris had told you he loved you. You smile bitterly as you look at the shirt in the mirror and pick up the rest of your things before getting out of the bathroom.

You walk into your shared bedroom with Chris and immediately recognize “Wicked Games” by The Weeknd. You roll your eyes as you remember the time you had told Chris that, for whatever reason, The Weeknd’s 2010s phase could always get you in the mood. You take your time doing your skincare routine before taking care of your workout clothes.

After finishing in your bedroom, you close the door and head to Emma’s room to get her ready for bed. However, you frown confusedly as you see that everything in Emma’s room is clean and organized. Emma is clearly changed, dressed in her nighttime pyjamas, tucked in and soundly asleep while Dodger is snoring in front of her crib. You smile softly. Even before Emma was born, Dodger was extremely protective of her and when she was born, he was practically attached to her hip. Wherever Emma was, Dodger was also there.

You’re watching Emma and Dodger sleep, a seemingly permanent smile on your face when you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around rapidly and slightly jerk away from Chris when he attempts to put a hand on your arm. He frowns slightly before saying,

“I got Emma ready for bed and dinner’s ready downstairs.”

You sigh and walk around Chris before making your way downstairs as you hear his soft footsteps behind you. When you turn the corner to enter the living room, your breath slightly hitches as you see that Chris has set a candlelit dinner table. Chris softly sets his hands on your shoulders and starts to gently massage them as he says,

“I made spaghetti with chicken parm, your favorite. And extra cheese, just how you like it.”

As your resolve starts to crumble, Chris’ words from earlier in the day echo in your mind. The memory makes you instantly tense up and you let out a shaky breath while trying to control your emotions. To take the focus off of you, you sit down and start to serve Chris and yourself some water. You hear Chris sigh loudly before he sits down in front of you. He serves you a hearty serving of pasta with a whole chicken breast before serving himself. Chris looks at you, clearly hesitating to say anything for a couple of seconds while you’re poking at your food before saying,

“So, I thought you would like the chicken parm tonight since you seemed kind of down after your run.”

You let go of your fork, which loudly hits your plate, and put your head in your hands before you say, “Oh my God, Chris, I can’t fucking do this.”

“Woah, Y/N, you can't do what? What's wrong?”, Chris asks, shocked.

“What’s wrong, Christopher, is that I heard you on the phone this afternoon. Talking about how I’m supposedly clingy and never want to have sex with you anymore.”

Chris visibly tenses up as he hears your statement and stammers trying to find an excuse to justify his behavior.

“Wait, I… I can explain.”

You hold your hand up, signifying to Chris that you’re not done.

“First of all, you have absolutely no right to talk to anybody about our sex life without at least asking me first, which you know I would absolutely not agree with. Second of all, you should know by now that if you have any problems with me, you come to me. You don’t go talking to some random person about it behind my back.”

You angrily get up from the table and narrow your eyes at Chris as you continue.

“And third, not that you deserve any justification whatsoever for me not wanting to have sex with you, but I gained weight, Chris. Way too much weight. I find myself fat and gross and I didn’t want you to see my body and think the exact same things I think every single time I see myself in the mirror.”

You sniffle as you realize that you had been crying.

“And you can help yourself to the couch tonight.”

You walk up the stairs and, mindful to not wake Emma up, you softly close your bedroom door. You immediately snuggle into the covers while soft sobs rake through your body. You’re not sure how long you lay there crying but you eventually fall asleep from exhaustion.

You groggily wake up a couple of hours later while the sun is starting to rise as you hear Emma’s cries on the baby monitor. You rub your eyes as you get out of the bed and head over to her room. You take Emma out of her crib and immediately identify that her diaper is full. You feel your headache from crying developing further as you’re changing Emma.

When you’re finished, you take Emma in your arms and bounce her up and down while softly humming to help her fall back asleep with Dodger dutifully following you.

You head downstairs in search of painkillers for your headache while continuing to hum to Emma. While passing through the living room, you can see Chris’ head resting on the couch armrest. As Dodger spots him, he heads over to him and whines softly before setting himself at the end of the couch, prepared to fall back asleep.

You chuckle slightly before downing the painkillers and heading back up to Emma’s room, ready to put her back in bed. You set her down and tuck her in before exhaling softly and heading back to your bedroom.

Your headache and the painkillers had effectively made you exhausted again as you fall asleep almost as soon as your head hits the pillow.

When you finally wake up for the day, you groan at the faint traces of your headache still present. You look over at your nightstand and see that it’s now 7:30am. You roll your eyes at this. You had barely slept an additional hour.

Figures. You never really slept that well when Chris wasn't in bed with you.

As your senses start to really awaken, you smell some coffee and hear the shower running for a couple of seconds after which, it stops.

Before you know it, Chris walks out of the bathroom, body steaming, with a towel loosely wrapped around his waist. He suddenly stops in his tracks as he realizes you’re awake.

God… Even when he pissed you off, he was still hot as fuck.

He lightly clears his throat before saying, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just wanted to take a shower after my workout.”

You gently shake your head before responding with a raspy voice, “You didn’t wake me, it’s fine.”

Chris nods his head once before tightly smiling. You can feel the tension in the room as Chris stands in front of the bathroom door and looks anywhere but at you. After a couple of seconds, he softly sniffles and croaks, “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

You sit up in the bed and lean on the headboard as you frown softly. Chris makes his way to you and softly sits on his side of the bed with his head hung. You can see from the various expressions that are passing on his face that he’s trying to find the words to talk to you

“I didn’t really sleep last night because I kept thinking about what you said. And I realized how much of an asshole I was.” He balls up his fists as he shakes his head and continues, “I never should have talked about any of those things with Matt and I’m so sorry that I did. I’m also sorry that I never came to talk to you, like a grown man, and instead just talked about you behind your back.”

Chris hesitantly reaches for your hands and takes them into his when he sees that you’re not negatively reacting to him while tears are dropping on the covers.

“Above all, I’m especially sorry that I ever made you feel like I wasn’t there for you and like you couldn’t come to me. I really didn’t know how you felt about yourself and it breaks my heart that I let you go through this alone when I should have been there to support you after Emma was born."

He shrugs gently before finishing with, "And for what it’s worth, I think you’re as beautiful now as you were while you were pregnant and before you got pregnant.”

Chris looks up at you with red eyes as he waits for you to say something. You open and close your mouth multiple times as you’re trying to find the right words to respond to him.

You finally settle on, “I don’t know that I can forgive you right now, Chris. What you did really hurt me. Like a lot.”

Chris’ head slightly hangs down before you finish with, “However, I don’t think it would be beneficial to our family for us to be apart right now.”

As soon as he hears this, Chris’ head snaps up, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“I’m gonna need space and time to work through this but I believe that our relationship is stronger than this.”

Chris nods excitedly and bites his bottom lip before asking, “Is it okay if I hug you?”

You lightly nod your head and chuckle slightly as Chris practically throws himself at you. He rests his head in the crook of your neck before whispering “I love you so much, Y/N.”

Without hesitation, you whisper back, “I love you too, Chris.”

If there was something that you knew would never change is that you loved Chris, forever and always.

[rhysismydaddy]

Prisoner's Game Pt. 1 (Rowaelin)

Synopsis: Aelin Galathynius never thought of herself as a vengeful woman. Until her boyfriend not only testifies, but leads a case against her that lands her in prison for the rest of her life. Post I-Love-You's. He didn't believe her, and she's about to show him that not only is she innocent, he made the worst mistake of his life betting against her. To a woman with nothing but time, life's just a game, after all.

The cinderblock wall dug into her back uncomfortably as she reclined against it, the air in the room was stale, and she hadn't showered in two days. By any measurement, Aelin Galathynius was far from her best.

And yet she somehow managed to look perfectly at ease--happy even--as she lounged in her cell, toying with the ends of her too-long hair.

It was a ruse, of course, just a little trick to piss off the man currently stomping into her space. By the flare of Rowan Whitehorn's eyes, it worked.

"Hello, Rowan," she greeted pleasantly, giving him a little smile and acting like it wasn't taking everything in her not to use the makeshift knife under her pillow to gut him like the spineless coward he was.

She could tell, even across her 8x12 cell, that he was gritting his teeth and fighting a similar action.

The heel of his expensive Italian loafers clicked as he walked across the space to the small table and took a seat at the steel chair in front of it. He tried to push it out further, but stopped when he realized it was bolted to the floor.

"Aelin," he said back, none of the so-obvious anger he was feeling present in his voice. "Been a long time."

Eight years, six months, three weeks, two days, and thirteen hours.

Not that she was counting or anything.

She nodded her agreement, reclining further on the bed and crossing her legs as if she was in the finest dress she owned, not a faded orange jumpsuit.

"What brings you to my side of town, Rowan? Here to finally switch sides and represent me?"

Dressed in a two-thousand dollar suit and tie, hair perfectly gelled back, he looked like he was successful a lawyer meeting with a wealthy client, but they both knew the last thing he'd ever do was work for her.

"You know why I'm here."

She did indeed, but she still said, "I must be exceptionally smart to know why you've come all the way here-"

"Cut the shit," he snapped, finally losing a bit of his cool. He regained it quickly, though, and continued, "I want to know how you did it."

She frowned at her split ends. "Did what?"

Rowan waited until she looked at him to respond. "You know what."

Sighing so deeply it should've rattled the walls, she said, "I can't believe I've spent the last eight years thinking you underestimated my intelligence. You clearly think I'm some sort of oracle genius."

Rowan mimicked her sigh, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

Probably trying to stall, he spent a moment looking at her cell, at the completely bare walls and lack of photographs. All she had was the tally marks drawn in pencil on one wall and a dusty chess set sitting on the table.

When he'd taken inventory of those two things, he sat and just looked at her.

It was clear she wouldn't admit to knowing exactly why he sat in front of her, and he was simply putting off being the one to fold.

Predictable, proud little man.

Eventually, he took his loss and said, "I want to know how you managed to rob me from inside the most secure prison in Rifthold."

She smiled, a full, undulated smile she hadn't used in a long time.

She'd been planning this moment since the day the bars had locked behind her, and it felt damn good to finally see it come to fruition.

According to what she'd heard, definitely not what she knew from personal experience, the private vault in Rowan's apartment had been broken into. Apparently, only one thing was missing: an antique dagger that had been handed down in the family and was now worth over a million bucks.

"Why do you think it was me?" she asked, still smiling.

He gritted his teeth some more, and she internally snickered at the idea he'd have permanent tooth damage because of her. Something else to remember her by.

Green eyes spitting flames at her, he growled, "You left a goddamn business card."

Aelin forced her eyes up to the empty bed above her head, trying her hardest not to laugh. "Maybe I'm being framed?"

"Your fingerprints were on it."

She did laugh then, then laughed some more when his eyes narrowed. He looked like he was about to strangle her. "Rowan, in case you haven't noticed, I'm incarcerated."

She gestured around them to her cell to prove her point.

The bastard just smiled.

Of course he knows that, she thought bitterly, forcing her hand back to her lap and away from where it'd started to creep toward the pillow.

"So how would I rob you?" she asked, getting her mind back on track.

"That's what you're going to tell me," he demanded angrily. "I want to know how you got out of here, got all the way across Rifthold, broke into my apartment, and stole from me without any surveillance camera picking it up."

Aelin ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it just right. When she caught sight of the impatience on his face, she fluffed it some more and readjusted the thin jacket on her shoulders.

It was always too damn cold in this place. She hadn't been warm in almost nine years.

Because of him.

Just for that, she fluffed her hair some more.

Then she said simply, "I didn't."

"Stop lying!" he shouted at her, eyes flashing.

She wasn't, but that was besides the point.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes like he'd won. "I got my cousin to-"

"Aedion spent the night in Wendlyn. His travel is verified, and there are at least a hundred eye witnesses that witnessed him singing karaoke all night. Stop. Fucking. Lying."

Once again, she wasn't lying.

Aedion sure as hell hadn't been in Wendlyn last night. She'd just wanted to make sure his alibi was air-tight as planned.

Sighing again, she asked, "Rowan, even if I did do it, why the hell would I tell you about it?"

His jaw worked for a moment, and she could tell whatever he was about to say was difficult for him. "I'll get time off your sentence if you tell me what you've done with it."

She tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it.

It burst out of her, full and uncontrollable, and she flopped over on the dirty mattress and howled for a good few minutes.

He glared at her, looking for all the world like he was experiencing a portion of the rage she was made of, but regardless of the threat in his eyes, she took her time composing herself.

"I'm serving ten consecutive life sentences, you idiot."

One for each and every one of her "victims."

"I'll make it nine," he offered generously.

"Even if I was a cat, that'd still leave me dying in a prison cell. Offer me something else."

He just glared at her, unwilling to give her anything she could actually use or want. Just like she'd expected.

"That's what I thought. So no, Rowan Whitehorn, I'm not accepting your little deal. You can think I robbed you all you want; hell, you can even know, in your famous gut, that I did it." She tilted her head, a cruel smile filling her lips. "But it isn't about what you believe, it's about what you can prove. Isn't that right?"

His eyes shuttered at the words, and just like that, they were sucked into the memory of all those years ago.

~Eight years ago~

~Rowan~

Rowan rolled over, edging away from the woman next to him carefully as to not wake her.

Her hair was spread out on his chest, her soft hand was on his stomach, and her leg was draped over his. By all accounts, she was all over him.

And it felt so fucking good.

He'd never met anyone like Aelin before. Anyone so full of life, so hilariously open.

It was like she was constantly on fire, flitting from one place to the next with endless energy and jabs about him being too old and slow.

"What are you going?" she murmured, nails digging in slightly to keep him where he was.

"To get some water. Go back to sleep."

He leaned down and kissed her brow, and she sighed happily and rolled over. Like a total cliché, he watched her sleep for a moment, trying to get his feelings under control.

They'd been seeing each other for less than a year, but he couldn't imagine his life without her. He was in love with her, and if the way she acted and smiled around him was any indication, she loved him, too.

He ran a thumb over her cheekbone, smiling when she tilted her face into his touch.

He was whipped, and he didn't even care.

Rowan shook his head at himself, pulled on a pair of boxers, padded to the kitchen, and held a glass under the faucet.

Then frowned as it sputtered.

He figured he'd at least make himself useful, knowing damn well she would never agree to call the plumber when she could "figure out how to fix it herself on Youtube."

So he knelt down in her kitchen and opened the cabinet door, trying to see what the problem with the pipe was.

Except he never got that far.

His eyes got stuck on the piece of paper sticking out under a false piece of wood covering the back panel.

Knowing it was wrong to pry but somehow unable to stop himself, he tugged the paper loose.

Then fell backwards to his ass, heart hammering and brain spinning as he read it over and over again.

The list of names wasn't long, but all ten of the people on it were highly distinguished members of society.

And they were all dead.

He wouldn't know that, since the death of the last person on the list wasn't even public record yet, but he was the attorney working with the police to find the killer.

Why did she have this list?

And what did the numbers next to the names mean?

One way or another, he knew he had to find out. He also knew he couldn't ask her. He was in too deep, too unbiased to know whether or not she was lying.

He didn't trust himself with her, so he'd have to go the traditional route.

He took a picture of the paper quickly, tucking it back where he'd found it. He snuck back in the room to get dressed, leaving her a note he had to go to work.

He thought he was going to be sick as he left her apartment, a feeling suspiciously similar to dread coiling in his stomach.

There was only one way she could know that last name, only one explanation that made sense.

But he had to know for sure. Had to know if he'd been an idiot this past year; an idiot who'd spent almost every night sleeping next to the killer he'd been searching for.

So he started investigating his girlfriend.

Six days later, he found the security deposit boxes and the murder weapons inside, still covered in dried blood that would be matched to the victims. All with Aelin's prints on them.

Two days after that, the woman he'd thought was the love of his life was arrested on ten counts of murder.

Despite the tears she shed, despite the promises she made to him, despite the love she claimed to have for him, Rowan told the cops everything.

Even though he couldn't imagine her killing anyone.

"It doesn't matter what I believe, it matters what I can prove."

That was the last thing he'd said to her, right as she was being dragged out of the court room and yelling at him to believe her.

The truth of the matter was that when it came down to it, he didn't trust her enough. The facts were against her, everyone on the jury had been against her, and in the end, Rowan was too.

~Present~

~Aelin~

Rowan shook his head, almost like he needed to clear it from the memory they'd obviously both been immersed in, and she smiled.

She hoped what happened all those years ago still haunted him, hoped he went to sleep at night thinking about her and the betrayal he'd served to her on a silver platter.

The first year of her sentence, she was so lost in emotion--in the rage and confusion and deep, deep hurt--that she couldn't bring herself to do anything.

He hadn't even bothered to ask her first. That's what had hurt the worst.

He'd seen that stupid, stupid list and had jumped to the first conclusion possible.

She knew it had looked bad, had looked like she was guilty, but she'd thought that if the worst happened, he'd at least ask her to explain before slapping the cuffs on her.

But he hadn't. She'd gone to prison, and his career had exploded into stardom from the success of the case.

"See, Rowan, when you refused to accept any other explanation other than the easy one, you made a mistake. Because I didn't kill those people."

He rolled his eyes. "Aelin-"

"And I'm not only going to prove it," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I'm going to ruin your precious little life while I do it. Just like you did mine."

She stood, put a hand on the steel table, and leaned over him.

"If you want it to stop, all you have to do is drop these bullshit murder charges and issue a public apology for locking me up in the first place."

He stood too, so close his loafers brushed the toe of her dusty, prison issued sneakers.

"That's never going to happen," he promised, voice uncompromising and angry.

Aelin smiled, having predicted his reaction down to the facial expression.

His pride, she'd decided, would be the first thing to go.

She reached around him to slide the pawn on the chess board forward, leaned in even further, and whispered, "Let the game begin, then."

~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

@perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @gracie-rosee @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[flamingo-writes]

It's Better When The Sun Goes Down — Nanami x Reader

This is a piece for the Anilysium Server NSFW Collab! Make sure to check the masterlist to see other writer's works! This month's prompt was: "I can't hold back anymore"

I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to one of my dearest and closest friends. I'm not a Nanami simp myself, but they are. And I have fun writing for Nanami, and also I love writing angsty things and flawed characters. Reg, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoy my more casual writing.

(it's pink bcs youre Chancho)

Word Count: 5.4K

Warnings: Mentions of breakup and heartbreak, alcohol and drug consuption, public sex, ghosting, lots and lots of angst. This does not have a happy ending. This is also non proof read bcs I kinda left it to the last minute I'm sorry, I'll go back and edit it when I am not in a rush dcj nd

Summary: Nanami’s return to the Sorcerer life wasn’t so bad. It could be better if Gojo wasn’t determined to get him back with his ex. As Nanami tries to get on good terms with them, things get out of control, only to end up where it all began.

I made this playlist while writing, in case you wanna listen to it while reading. Preferably listen to it without the shuffle, but you can hear it on shuffle, no biggie.

Nanami had forgotten how painfully unbearable Gojo could be. His return as a Sorcerer had been nothing out of the ordinary for a Sorcerer's standards. Missions here and there, or watching over some of Gojo's students. But God, he had surely stepped out of the line this time.

He couldn't even begin to explain how much he hated his current situation. Fighting by your side for the first time in years felt like rubbing hot oil on an open wound. The uncomfortable ignoring the elephant in the room between you two, as you two tracked and fought what felt like a million Curses.

When the adrenaline was at its peak, it felt almost nostalgic; though he'd then remembered everything else and immediately made his own reality bitter and awkward. Overshadowed by the advantage of years of experience ahead of him made him resent you even more. He knew it was childish and pointless to keep remembering everything that happened between you two, but that bittersweet memory would most likely keep him at bay.

You were still strong, witty, fearless, reckless and quick to act and defend yourself. The way you moved looked more swiftly and coordinated than you did back in your student days. Almost as if you were a professional dancer. He hated every bit of it. He couldn’t stop looking at you, thinking about you, and the possibilities of what you two would have become.

After the mission was over, no words were exchanged between you two. Aside from the: "Are you alright?" He told you as you simply gave him a thumbs up as you caught your breath drenched in sweat. An entire ride in an uncomfortable silence, until he reached the school and you got out of the car.

"Thanks. You did a great job. Keep it up" You said. Cold, and straight to the point. Closing his car door before he could reply. And soon, you were gone.

As Nanami tried to get his mind off the mission, Gojo made it difficult. He called him to ask for the details of the mission. He seemed amused and intrigued, as clearly you hadn't told him shit. And honestly, he could understand why. Gojo was meddling on things that weren’t his business, and things that had died a long time ago.

"Why are you interrogating me, Gojo?" He asked as he pressed hisnfingers on the bridge of his nose. "Ask your underling…"

"Because that jerk left for the bar as soon as they arrived" He explained. "And I know better than to annoy a drunk [Name], It took me a while but...I finally learned my lesson" He chuckled. “I knew they could hit hard, but damn, I had a big ass bruise…” Nanami could almost hear his stupid grin.

"You make it sound like it's a recurrent event" Nanami pointed out, slightly surprised as he didn't know you were a drinker.

"Oh, Nanami-kun, you really know nothing huh?" Gojo said, smiling widely as he had managed to manipulate Nanami into asking.

"Know what?" Nanami hissed as he now swore he could hear Nanami creepily grinning at his phone.

"No, nothing!” Gojo said as if it were nothing; trying and succeeding at peeking at Nanami’s curiosity “I'm not gonna talk over depressing things on the phone. Gotta go, bye! Kith kith, Kento-kun" Gojo sang and hung up, as he smirked, proud of his little mischief. He sighed deeply as he stretched in his bed. "Soon, those two will be back together" he smirked to himself.

Nanami hissed a curse under his breath as he locked his phone and threw it on his bed and went to the kitchen. If he had understood well, Gojo had just hinted at a possible drinking problem. He tried shaking his mind off of it. You couldn't, could you? You weren’t a drinker...You weren’t the last time he saw you. You were able to party and have fun without having to intoxicate yourself.

You were wild, cheerful, unpredictable. Everything he was not. And that’s what had made him fall in love with you back in your school days. You were so laid back, he could feel it permeating into him when you two hung out. The few times he’d broken rules was because you’d been the bad influence, however, you somehow managed to get away with it, and leave him with some distant memory in which he felt actually glad to be alive. He usually felt like he was walking on a cloud stuck in time, being present and enjoying the little things that made his everyday memories.

He’d really screwed up after breaking up with you...if he could call that a breakup... His life took a dramatic turn. And then, he turned his back to this world, and got immersed in the gray life the average man in Japan had. Away from what he's familiar with, away from his friends, away from you.

And now, apparently, you had a drinking habit. He wondered if he had caused it, or if he was one of the reasons behind it. The guilt started creeping in. The same guilt and regret he felt after ghosting on you. Not being able to bring himself to properly end things with you.

The guilt he’d managed to swipe under the rug for so many years creeped back out, and followed him around as the afternoon went by. After having a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and in a lame attempt to cook dinner, he decided to test his luck. He put on a dark button down shirt and decided to go to the bar closest to the School. He felt the naive hope to find you there. However, if you had an actual problem, then his chances to see you there were higher.

Such was his surprise to find you there, trying to get rid of some insistent guy who kept talking to you despite your very obvious lack of interest. Before you could spot him, he watched you aggressively turn to the guy and talk to him in a rather rude tone. Sounding almost like a moody sailor as the guy’s face soon was washed with horror and disgust and walked away. As you turned your face back to your drink, your eyes scanned the bar, finally spotting him.

“Oh god” You whined as you pulled the glass to your lips. “It’s too early to be this drunk…” You hissed.

“Mind if I sit here?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of you.

“Tell Gojo to go fuck himself…” You snapped at him as you stood up and stumbled your way to the bar asking for a refill. Nanami looked at you, feeling slightly sorry for your tipsy state, as he’d never seen you like that. And he knew being mad and drunk was never a good combination. As you turned around with your glass and made your way back to your table, you gave him a slightly repulsed smile. “You’re still here…”

“Gojo didn’t send me here, if that’s what you’re thinking” He replied.

“He might as well have manipulated you into doing so, has that crossed your mind?” You said with a sassy tone as you sat back down. “Why are you still standin’?”

Nanami took that as an invitation as he ignored your last comment, trying to refuse the idea that Gojo had manipulated him.

“Rough day, huh?” He said as you nodded and stared at your drink.

“Look, Kento. I’m glad that you’re back. I really am. You’re strong, and you’re smart…” You began. “But I’m gonna cut the chase, I’m kinda annoyed too. Ever since you got back, Gojo has been sticking his snobby nose into my business” You explained. “Many of the missions he sends you in, I’m supposed to be there as well, but manage to get busy by then and not go”

“So you’re actively avoiding me?”

“Yes” You replied bluntly. “Mostly because Gojo is trying very hard to bring us back together. But no, I learned my lesson the first time” You said taking a sip to your scotch, feeling it smoothly sliding down your throat, no longer feeling the burn from the alcohol.

“I haven’t apologized for that…” Nanami began.

“Don’t” You interrupted him. “It’s better this way”

“Are you sure? Because you still seem to have an issue with it…” Nanami said, managing to read you like an open book like he always did. He still had that ability.

You glared at him, angrily as you opened your mouth to snap back at him, but your mind was foggy and a big portion of your brain was focused on the little details surrounding him. His black shirt, the first buttons undone. His thick wrists, one of them hiding underneath a fancy looking watch, his blond hair pushed back, his sharp features...And god, his smell. The smell of his cologne luring you in like a fly to honey. Since any words made it to your mouth, your next step was to take another sip.

“You’re drinking too fast” He pointed out.

“None of your business” You said standing up and taking your wallet out and leaving a few bills on the tale. “I’m out” You said coldly and walked out of the bar.

Nanami sighed, frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get anything out of interaction. Aside from the pretty clear fact that you disliked him. However, he didn’t think of the possibility of you resenting him so much because you still had feelings for him.

As you walked out of the bar, the chilly wind hit the back of your neck, making you shiver. You cursed, knowing it was going to make you feel drunker faster. You made your way to the school with long steps, trying to make it to your dorm before your last drink made it to your head. Despite the cold wind, the hot tears in your eyes in a way kept your face warm. As you tried to keep yourself from crying, you heard steps behind you.

“Wait” You heard Nanami’s voice calling behind you as you stopped on command, against your own will. You swallowed the lump on your throat and managed to keep the tears still in your eyes, as you refused to look at

him. “At least let me walk you home. You can’t walk on your own like this…”

“Oh, so now you care?” You said turning around and looking at him, giving him a smug smile. “You’ve changed” You scoffed bitterly.

“Please” He said, knowing better than trying to argue with you.

Your stare on him softened, as something within you urged you to say yes. To have more time with Nanami and maybe cling to the bittersweet memories you were constantly reliving since his return.

“Fine” You said, very much to his surprise. He smiled and walked closer to you with the gentle smile that had been haunting your dreams as of lately.

“C’mon. My car is not far from here…”

You stopped coldly as he mentioned a car. Taking a second look at him, you wondered how much he’d changed. He’d become an adult through and through, hadn’t he? While you were still a mess...Or so you thought. To Nanami’s eyes, you were a far better sorcerer and warrior than him. And he envied you for it.

“Are you actually going to take me to the school?” You asked, suddenly growing suspicious of him, as you’d had plenty of experiences with strangers on the street and knew better than going into someone’s car in a drunken state.

Not that you didn’t trust Nanami. You didn’t trust yourself drunk.

“I was actually thinking of taking you somewhere for dinner and then to the school” He said.

“Not hungry”

“No, but you’re drunk. It’ll sober you up, and tomorrow morning you’ll thank me when you wake up without a hangover” He said as he walked towards his car.

“I don’t have any more money on me” You lied, looking for an excuse to avoid spending any more than necessary with him.

“I didn’t ask you if you have money” He said boldly as he managed to make you smirk for the first time since his return.

“Smooth, Nanami. You’ve grown” You said as you followed him.

The walk to his car felt like your chest burnt far more than the alcohol ever did. It felt bitter, it hurt and was nauseating. Was it really it, or was it the alcohol finally catching up with you? Like flashes of instant memories being erased from your memory, the drive to a restaurant felt like a poorly edited foreign film. The car felt like some intense themed park ride as you felt dizzy with the alcohol whispering everything you missed about him. It was gross and it was sickening.

The Ramen sign on the outside on itself managed to sober you up a little by taking your mind off Nanami. As you followed him, clumsily standing on your feet, you sat on one of the tables and tried to make sense of the dancing letters in the menu. More flashes of memories were taken off your head, as you wondered what was happening and how drunk were you for you to start blacking out.

“Not good…” you muttered under your breath.

“Did you say something?” Nanami asked.

“No. Nothing”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m not”

“You’ll feel better in a bit. Don’t worry…” He said softly as he sipped from a soda you didn’t know he had. When had he ordered it? You looked in front of you to the nice surprise that you had one too despite not knowing how or when. “I ordered some ramen for you. Something spicy...It’ll sober you up faster”

You chuckled as you looked at him.

“And how do you know that?” You asked with a cheeky tone as he smiled softly.

“Went drinking a lot with friends from work” He said. “I learned a few things here and there”

More brief black outs kept lazily painting a rather miserable painting in your memory. As you ate your ramen, you found yourself relaxing more and more. Was it the hot spicy broth? In the beginning, the balck outs weren’t getting any less frequent, however, as the night went by, you found yourself sobering up like he said. Soon, the black outs were gone, however you were still somehow locked in a haze. Although it made sense. The amount of booze as well as the short time, it was going to take a lot more than just one hot bowl of spicy ramen to get you back to a sober state.

The conversation kept flowing comfortably as both of you ate. It was reminiscent of the old days, nostalgic and somehow morbid. As the both of you tried to grasp at the old days when your worries were limited to school work. Catching up like old friends who hadn't seen each other, as if you didn’t have hard feelings for each other.

After having finished your food, Nanami paid for both of your meals and went back out into the cold night. The sky black, stars hidden by the streetlights as you made it to his car and finally noticed the silver color in it.

As he drove back to the school, you noticed he took a small detour, instantly setting alarms in your head.

“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice considerably serious as he noticed the change in tone from the pleasant talk they were having in the restaurant.

“There’s somewhere I’d like to go…” He said as he briefly looked at you and gave you a tender smile.

That smile made your heart uncomfortably skip a beat as you hated the effect he still had on you. You didn’t dare to ask any further as you slowly recognized the route he was taking. As he slowly took one of the roads towards the edge of the city close to the coast line. He stopped in a rather deserted place, as he got off the road and stopped the car.

Despite the lack of light, aside from the few streetlights, you knew exactly where you were. A whole in your chest opened dramatically as you felt your eyes tear up and happy memories attached to the location flooded your mind.

“Kento…” You said chuckling bitterly.

“When I said I wanted to apologize, I meant it…” He said as you clenched your jaw and looked out your window, avoiding his stare.

“And I told you I didn’t want to talk about it…”

“You’re still upset about it, I get it. And I don’t blame you” He began as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Look at me, please”

You wanted to say something to him. But you knew you would break down crying as soon as you opened your mouth. You took a deep breath and without saying anything you looked at him. His dark brown eyes gazing into yours, as he was looking at you with a rather pained stare.

“You remember this place, don’t you?” He asked.

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you clicked your seatbelt, getting it off.

“I’m done” You said dryly as you opened the door and got out of the car.

“No, [Name]. Please, wait” He said as he mirrored your movements and excited the car walking around it.

“Of fuckign course I know where I am, Kento” You barked as you walked away approaching the door. “I know where I lost my fucking virginity, okay?” You barked as you stopped coldly and looked at him, tears finally streaming off your face. “Look, I’ll make us a favour and summarize this conversation. Yes, you’re a fucking asshole for just taking off one day and completely disappearing. Yes, I’m still mad about it. No, I won’t take your apology. No, I don’t care about whatever shitty excuse you have for me to listen to you. You bringing me here out of all places isn’t going to change shit…” You spat all in one breath as you stopped and took a deep breath.

“I loved you, Kento. I really did. And it hurt to have you just dissipate like you were a hallucination or something...You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything! And one day I lost all of that. You ruined sex for me!” You yelled angrily. “I could never hold, kiss or sleep with anyone, because at some point I’d see your stupid face, and then be incredibly underwhelmed because I would not enjoy sex. I can’t feel anything anymore, Kento...The only way I can actually enjoy those things is by getting drunk or high” You admitted. “I can’t walk into bookstores, nor eat sandwiches or diet coke, nor drink tea because all those things remind me of you. And yes, it’s lame that all these years later I still care about those things. And this is why I can’t forgive you” You cried, as your voice shook.

Nanami’s heart broke little by little at each one of your words. He knew he’d screwed up and had hurt you deeply. But he wasn’t aware of the actual impact. He clenched his jaw as he felt his chest tight and a lump on his throat. Now the drinking problem made sense. Gojo had painted it like you were an alcoholic, but it wasn’t exactly the case. So you’d gone to the bar to get it off with some stranger, probably pretending it was him.

The dizzying pain and weight of his mistakes blinded him for a second as he walked towards you as you kept bitterly complaining. As you tried to walk away, you made a very poor effort as he caught up with you and cupped your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him and shutting you up by pressing his lips against you.

The sudden surprise made your heart stop. Your mind turning numb and blank at once as you struggled to bring yourself to push him away. However, truth be told, you didn't want to push him away. The poor attempt to push him away was more than obvious. The strong fighter you were, barely making any physical effort. Nanami's hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close, squeezing you against him as he sighed into the kiss.

Finally kissing him back, you locked your lips against his desperately, eager to taste the lips you've been dreading in your dreams. Clinging to him like he was going to disappear again, a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Your chest pressing against him as he felt his own world getting blurry.

He broke the kiss pulling away as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You have no idea how much I missed you” He whispered as you clung to him.

“I-I…” You stuttered, the words tasting bitter before they even made it to your mouth. “Fuck, I want you, Kento” You growled as he pulled you in, kissing you hungrily again.

His hands posessively clinging to you as he slowly guided you back to the car. One step at the time as you both melted in a hungry sour kiss. As you ran out of breath, you pulled away, gasping for air as you gripped his collar in your hands.

“I can’t hold back anymore” You said as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, walking back to his car.

Your words unleashed a shiver down his spine as his heart skipped a beat and raced like crazy, as his pants started feeling tighter on his crotch. He chuckled softly as he realized his own judgement seemed to have disappeared with that first kiss. And before you could even make it to his car, he gripped your hips and spun you around as he bumped his forehead against yours.

“I can’t either” He admitted as he guided you to the car’s hood and pulled you over it. Ass you sat on the warm hood, he got between your legs and you wasted no time wrapping them around his waist. He grunted softly feeling your crotch against his as you pulled him closer to seal your lips together.

As you soon were absorbed by the dizziness of your rising heat, his hand went to your bare thighs as he slowly caressed your skin, going up and lifting your skirt up in the process. A soft moan slid into his mouth as he gripped your ass softly and squeezed it. The way your skin got covered in goosebumps and how you jerked your hips made him moan in response.

It felt good, and intoxicating. The driving desire burning his insides. The feeling of desiring to taste you all over and have you shaking underneath him. God, he’d missed that particular rush of adrenaline. His body reacting to the deeply buried memories now loose. He felt like he was in the best high he’d experienced. Lightheadedness and presence in the moment, he hadn’t felt this alive in so long.

Your hands were slowly undoing his buttoned shirt and were quick to explore his warm skin. He pulled away from the kiss, gasping as he looked at you. Your devilish smile matching your hungry stare. You leaned forward kissing his neck, nibbling on his skin every now and then. His hand gripped your hair tightly, pulling it lightly, making you look up at him as he stared at you.

He leaned forward, kissing you once more, this time a lot more slow and a lot more tender. It was sweet and it was slow and it took you by surprise. You felt his sweet kiss begging you, still holding on to the feelings you both decided to drown unsuccessfully. It almost hurt. It was the kind of kiss that told you how much you missed and needed each other. How much you regretted the mistakes you’ve done.

As you melted against his lips, his hands slowly slid your panties off. You helped him lifting your hips a little but as you giggled against his lips.

“Eager?” You said with a playful smirk.

“You have no idea” He replied as he took off your panties and shoved them in his back pocket.

His hand made it back to your thigh, slowly going up until he palmed your hot sex. Stealing a gasp out of your mouth, he teasingly ran one of his fingers through your dripping slit, making him smile satisfied.

“I’m not the only one, huh?” He said as you looked at him with lustful eyes.

You took his glasses off and set them aside. You were about to go back to kissing his neck when he slid one finger inside of you effortlessly. A rather loud moan escaped your lips as you shut your eyes closed feeling your entire body tingle in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You smiled satisfied as you continued kissing his neck. Slowly, he got another finger inside. The delicious stretch of his second finger prompting you to bite his neck softly making him growl your name softly. His fingers explored the whole he knew so well, as he found your sweet spot almost by muscle memory. More moans came out of your throat sounding like music to his ears.

“Fuck, Kento” You hissed as you took off your top, not caring that you were outdoors and by the road. Up to this point, you were so pent up, you simply craved him like you’d never craved anything before.

Nanami wasted no time and kissed your neck, going down to your neck, gently biting your skin every now and then. Sucking delicately on your skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t last long. He pulle dhis fingers out of you, clinging to your body desperately. As you laid on the car’s hood, you devoured him with your lustful eyes, begging him to get on top of you. Wearing just your skirt by this point, Nanami groaned at the plain sight of you.

He undid his belt and his pants. Your hands playfully teasing your own body in an attempt to drive him crazier and crazier. He cursed under his breath as he couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled his painfully hard erection out of his pants. You watched hi, intrigued, stretching your hands towards him, gently gripping his dick. His breath hitched and you smiled proudly.

Nanami leaned over the car hood, slowly getting on top of you, his shaft resting on your belly as he looked at how much deep could he go inside of you. His tip almost reaching you belly button, as the idea alone made a shiver run down his spine.

"Please, Kento" you gasped, need dripping from your voice as you caressed his dick

He growled softly as he pulled away softly, aligning against your entrance and slowly going in. You gasped, pushing your head back and pressing your hips against his making him go deeper.

Hissing your name, he jerked his hips, his tip.kissing your cervix as sudden rush of pain jolted through your body, followed by pleasure. You dug your nails in his shoulders as he thrusted back and forth, hitting all the right spots. The sound of his gasps and grunts hypnotizing as you got wetter by the second. His length coated in your juices, echoing in lewd wet noises.

He was rough. He usually was. Back in student days, he was particularly rough. As quiet and collected as he seemed, he sure got his stress out if his body through wild sex.

Relentlessly pushing against you, stretching you in such a delicious way only he knew how. Strong and aggressive movements as your walls swallowed him whole every time, breathless moans escaping your lips with every push. The cool wind kissing your skin, only enhancing his warmth.

As you felt your orgasm progressively approaching, the realization of how addicted you were to him hit you. He was everything you desired. And it was wrong. Before the feeling of uneasiness started to sink in, a sudden electric rush ran through your body. Painfully and soothing, as you tightly clenched around himbsoon numbed your mind.

As you came around him, your walls sucked him in tightly, as he was right over the brink, your velvet flesh pushed him off the edge. He didn't have time to pull out. And honestly, he didn't want to pull out. The way your walls milked him felt delicious. As he rode you through your orgasm, filling you up as his head felt dizzy and the world was spinning faster than usual. His hot seed coating your insides, as you shut your eyes closed, feeling the very last of your orgasm fading away.

He pressed his forehead against yours. Loud pants echoing.

However, the world didn't quite return to its regular focus.

The rest of the night went by in a fuzzy hot mess of events. You returned to his apartment and kept feasting on each other, making up for the lost time. Both of you incredibly starved and needy, you desperately went at it over and over again. It was a rather long night. As you feared, no one made you feel as he did. All of him was addicting. His smell, his voice, his warmth, his skin...It didn’t matter how many strangers you fucked, or how drunk or high you were, he felt just right. He made you cum so easily, it seemed ridiculous everyone else couldn’t.

But you knew it was far more than that.

You were still deeply in love with him. No wonder why he had that effect on you. Just hearing his breathlessly gasp was enough to have you soaking wet and under his mercy. Between sweet kisses, fake promises and sweaty sex, he quite literally fucked you to oblivion. Until either of you could take it any longer and you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been a long tiring night, as you knew many of your muscles were gonna be sore the next day. Your chest painted in red and blue bruises.

It was possibly one of the best night sleeps he’d had. In such a long time. The uncomfortable hole in his chest didn’t feel so wide now. Just like you, he didn’t know how much he actually needed you until now. His regrets, his guilt, the thoughts haunting him on how much of a jerk he’d been when he simply took off...All those feelings went away for a night. As he tasted the wonders of the universe under your skin. Feeling ecstatic and euphoric for the first time in years. However, nothing could’ve prepared Nanami for what he was about to experience when he woke up.

~

“What the hell is this?” Gojo asked as he waved around the folder you’d left a few hours earlier in the Headmaster’s office.

“Why the fuck do you care?” You said as you grabbed it, ripping it off his hands.

“You’re seriously leaving for Kyoto?” He whined.

“So my transfer was accepted? Great!” You said sarcastically as you opened the folder and saw the Headmaster’s seal at the bottom.

“What about Nanami-kun?” Gojo replied as the very last string of your patience snapped.

“Oh, fuck you, Gojo! You tried to force us back together, but it’s not going to happen” You snapped. “I’m done. I’m done with him, and I’m done with you sticking your nose in my business”

“Do you really think that running away will solve anything? You’ll still be depressed as hell”

“The less I know about him, the better” You said as you turned around, hot tears blurring your sight as you headed with long steps towards your room. “I don’t trust myself around him…” You whispered. “He’s my weakness Gojo, I can’t let that happen…” You said coldly.

You’d left that morning very early, before Nanami woke up. And you left leaving no trace of you ever being there. Unintentionally doing the same he did. It was unintentional because you hadn’t done it out of spite. Your thought process had been simply. You preferred to not have that conversation and simply leave without him noticing. You had had the exact same thought process Nanami had had all those years ago.

You didn’t waste time and soon started packing your things to leave for Kyoto right away.