#I'm also trying not to complain too much so I hope this doesn't come across as actual anger because it's not

[atlantic-riona]

@an-spideog

That's a really great question. I do have a fondness for O'Siadhail's Learning Irish, mostly because that was the one used to teach me when I was a child. I like that he includes a lot of grammar, I like the fact the exercises have you translate from Irish to English and from English to Irish, and I like the audio. I don't like that the grammar can be confusing as an independent learner—I was very confused for a long time about several grammatical items and O'Siadhail's explanations were very technical and difficult to wrap my head around, even as an adult.

I've tried the Gaeilge gan Stró series as well. I like the dialogues, but the set up of the chapters themselves can be a little confusing? It seems to jump around a bit.

I like the Buntus Cainte series, from what I've seen of it on archive.org, but it looks like it's very light on grammar explanations, and focuses more on speaking and hearing and seeing. Which is fine! But it seems like the kind of book used best in a classroom, with a teacher to help provide those explanations.

I've tried a lot of textbooks, online programs, etc., and I feel like my problem with most of them is that they focus extensively on reading/writing, not enough on speaking and listening, and they either do too little grammar or too complex grammar in the beginning.

I could just be really picky. I don't think there's a perfect language book out there for any language, but it seems like other languages usually have new and updated textbooks coming out, and a lot of the heavily recommended ones for Irish are from the 1960s. This is probably because Irish is an endangered language, and it seems like most "newer" textbooks are aimed at Irish schoolchildren (which is great! I want the focus to be on reviving the language in Ireland).

But it is kind of frustrating sometimes to see the same problems in every adult learner course for Irish. I've taken German, Italian, and Japanese classes, and none of them were perfect either, but maybe because there was more available to choose from, it felt less frustrating to work around?

I think my ideal Irish course would be like the Tobira Japanese textbook course, which I absolutely adore. They have audio for all the vocabulary, dialogues, texts (including repeat audio where there's space left for you to repeat the word or phrase). They have a two spread page before each chapter with all the vocabulary, and then another spread with all the same vocabulary next to pictures. Each chapter opens with three dialogues that cover the vocabulary and grammar that will be used in the chapter. Then each activity works piece by piece through each point of the lesson. I loved that the first chapter was all about correct pronunciation - it broke down every sound made in Japanese, and had audio of the sounds so you could repeat them and have better pronunciation, rhythm, and tone. There was a workbook that had additional exercises, and also writing exercises - I would love an Irish book that focused beyond simple translation to things like spelling or other writing needs. I also loved that it was so visual - there were pictures and cartoons everywhere. For every activity, you could do more than one thing. So for example, if you had a "telling time" activity, you would have the various characters shown doing different activities in front of the clock or calendar. You could progress from "it is 9:00" to "Naomi is swimming at 9:00" to "Naomi swims in the pool at 9:00." It was really helpful for building on previous lessons and tying concepts together. It was repetitive, but simple, so you grew more confident and were able to tackle the more complex ones later. They have a website, and I'm sure it's used in courses, but I did it as a self-study course/refresher before I went to Japan and it was very helpful.

when you want to try learning Irish again but all of the adult learner textbooks make you want to scream

[strawberrygyuuuu]

𝐓𝐗𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 —> 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 6𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 —> 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂!

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 —> 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 —> 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜!𝐭𝐱𝐭 (𝐨𝐭5) 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

—> 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩.

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

I'm running off of hopes and dreams dudes

𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧

Older brother vibes

Definitely takes care of everyone but especially you

Yeonjun makes sure you're eating at least 2 meals a day even with a busy schedule

Very protective over you because you're the only girl and he knows you get awfully a lot of hate because of it

But he tries his best to make sure you know that you deserve to be apart of the team as much as the rest of them do

He pushes you to work harder, but because he wants you to be the best version of yourself

He's def clingy to you, but in an annoying way almost

Loves ruffling n messing your hair up, pinching your cheekies, sends you flying kisses across the room bc he thinks your reaction is funny n cute

He teased you a lot too but knows how to not cross the line

And if he does he'll be so regretful and apologetic like he'll do anything until you forgive him he feels SO bad 😭🙏🏻

Likes it when you cling to his arm, hug him or depend on him in general; especially if you prefer or like to be more independent

(or too stubborn to ask for help lolol)

Bro is all smiles n gladly helps you or takes care of you

Forehead kisses

Complains n whines when you try n kiss his forehead or cheek back in return or as a thank you but he doesn't mind it, finds it endearing, actually

Let's you rest ur head on his shoulder while sitting next to each other if he notices you're really tired or so ur neck won't get stiff

You guys are close and have a special bond

Definitely knows when to comfort you and when you're starting to have a hard time, and vise versa

Loves messing with you though like, pushing your buttons a little bit cause he thinks ur reactions are cute

𝐒𝐨𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧

I think he's also hard on you but only because he wants to prove that you can do just as much as the boys can do

Tries and make sure you don't feel like out

Because he knows that it might be difficult for you being in an all boys group and feeling left out since you're the only girl

But none the less he wouldn't want it any other way

He's fought hard to get you with them and so did you having to constantly prove yourself; youll always have too

He js couldn't be prouder of you tbh

Always comes to defend you

soobin feels safe with you and he knows he can tell you if he's struggling or if something is bothering him

youre the main reason he stopped doubting himself when he was new to being a leader

and he's forever grateful for you

When walking up stairs he takes his coat or blaze off and holds it up from being you to cover you up and protect you

Hates seeing you sad or upset so definitely tries to do anything to cheer you up or keep you happy !!

You prob bake sum with him sometimes in your guy's free time just for fun and bonding

𝐁𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐠𝐲𝐮

Your BSF cuh

Like y'all are always together almost

Most of the time if you wanna find one or the other yall are found together doin sum

The schedules together are much more fun with beomgyu although I have a feeling the staff aren't the most thrilled 💀🙏🏻

He's so annoying But it's also kind of endearing you can't help but not be TOO mad at him 🙄 Y'all are prob the most comfortable with each other and you've seen him cry the most and vise versa Idk y'all just feel the safest w e/o and understand one another really well You guys truly have a special bond / friendship The most chaotic and funniest duo amongst all the members

Like, being paired up for challenges is hell for everyone else bc of how chaotic you two bitches are LMAO They sometimes will BEG to switch but just for shits and giggles the staff refuse to change the pairing bc it's funny n entertaining

He's def the one to act so brother like towards you

Like, he'll always come up to you and start punching you or sum but not enough to touch you just really close, but he's never actually touched you or hurt you

Idk dude it's js a brother thing apparently

Y'all are so sibling coded lol Rather you're older or younger, I think he'll still act like either an annoying little brother who admires his older sister or the annoying yet very caring (a little protective?) older brother with his little sister

Eats food with you all the time

There's been far too many times where he's made you starve and wait while he got his food js so y'all could eat together

Sorry pooks you gotta wait to eat, get used to it

It's also js y'all's love language, especially bg's

Def partners n crime, y'all need each other to fight crime !! ( Y'all share one brain cell while together trust you need to be together to function and be smarter, kinda)

For sure tag team yeonjun just to annoy him and get a good laugh at it lol y'all are unstoppable!! 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧

You're prob a little older then him

He admires you, a lot

He thinks the things you do are cute and he js adores you

He's such a Sweetheart to you😭

He's very understanding and relies on you a little more then it might seem

Likes it when you give him affection the most out of all the boys

He has a little soft spot for you

Gives you cute little pecks and kisses on your cheek sometimes because he just adores you🥺😭

Will defend your name in public and correct you in private 𝐇𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐚𝐢

Also admires you a lot

Like he really looks up to you even if you're younger or older

If he sees you face a fear of yours he'll be so proud of you but also it'll help him have strength as well

Y'all are always doing pranks or up to some kind of mischief together

Y'all spoil each other

Although you probably buy food for him most of the time while he'll buy you food on special occasions

Y'all are gumz

Always touchy and clinging

Seen back hugging each other a lottttt

Very playful with each other too, just cute banter

You guys are also seen giving each other belly rubs a lot especially after a meal like maybe bts to do episode you'll just see Kai n you rubbing each other's bellys in the background hiding in a corner

Moas think it's the cutest but so do the members, they love teasing sometimes, "aigoo, what will we do with these two cute gumz?" Yeonjun says fondly lol

You n him learn kep1er dances together and other gg it's so fun w him

Soobin joins you guys sometimes as well

Y'all support and comfort each other when needed though

Always have an eye out for you and always tries to cheer you up when you need it most, even if it's acting a fool or embarrassing himself lol.

Bonus

They were all definitely forced into learning the whole choreography of magnetic by illit because you begged them, they couldn't say no to you LMAO😭

A/N I've had this is my drafts for far tooooo long and I figured to js post this to get sum out cause I have zero motivation.

[get0sfav]

hii hope you’re free to do my req!!😭 its alright if you’re busy but you should do jjk men hcs when they take you to the mall!! 🩷

AT THE MALL | multi.

↳ toji fushiguro, satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, sukuna x f!reader

JJK men when they take you to the mall!

slightly suggestive!

warnings! slightly suggestive for satoru and suguru (mentions of handjobs?), pet names (princess, baby, doll, love) other then that none :)

a/n: also please tell me if I should do part two with the younger boys like megumi/yunji too or not!

Toji Fushiguro!

He's broke as shit how do you think he's supposed to take you anywhere, especially a mall.

Anyways, when you ask him "could you take me to the mall please?" he scoffs lightly, mumbling a low "go by yourself." in between whatever is it that he's doing (probably watching TV). However, once you say that you'd get him food, his ears perk up, but he ignores, which causes you to simply shrug and go get ready.

However when you're at the door, calling his name so he can shut the door, you see him picking up his jacket, you ask him where he's going, to which he responds "can't let ya go alone." and you have to stop yourself from laughing at his antics.

He spends most of the time complaining as you drag him from store to store, grumbling about how you're indecisive as hell and should've just ordered stuff online rather than coming all the way here.

Notices you eyeing something which was a little expensive, and he internally gets sad knowing he couldn't buy it for you even if he wanted, and he knows you would literally dump his ass if he were to threaten the employees to give it to him for free.

Acts like a total baby, annoying you and whining until you get him food, which shuts him up for a while.

Absolutely HATES when you try to buy stuff for him, because he doesn't need that. So when you drag his ass to Sephora, he's grossed out at first, yapping about why he was there and how awkward he looked (which he did) there as compared to everyone, his giant and buff figure something you wouldn't see in Sephora of all places. Although you end up buying a cologne and a skin moisturizer for him apart from everything you got for yourself, to which he kept saying that he didn't need it and all that, but he knew he did, because deep down he wanted his skin to be soft for you to touch.

When you're about to leave the mall, he unexpectedly drags you to an ice cream shop, getting your favorite flavor. It was a silent way of his for thanking you for buying that stuff for him

"thank you for getting me that stuff princess, though I didn't need any of that, I'm naturally gorgeous, but still, thank you" He'd say while pressing a kiss to your head, one of his hands carrying all your bags while the other draped around your shoulder, pulling you into him while you smiled at his words, appreciating the small gesture from his side.

Satoru Gojo!

He takes you to the mall, every week, even if you didn't need anything, making up excuses that he needs to buy something, grumbling things like "gotta get me some new shades/shirts" and he drags you along everytime.

Of course, it's just an excuse, he simply wants to treat you like the princess you are <3

He loves seeing you poke out your tongue in concentration while trying to choose any shirt for him, and oh how his heart melts at that. His heart fluffs up at the fact that you're doing so much just to make sure he ends up looking good (despite the fact he looks good in everything)

What starts as his shopping soon turns into him taking you to the most expensive stores at the mall, and it's his turn to dress you up now.

"hmmm, turn around for me?" He motions his fingers in a circular motion, and you twirl for him. A smile spreads across his face, "You look absolutely gorgeous, and your ass looks great in that dress I swear." He refers to the baby pink dress you wore, slowly walking up to you and pulling you in for a hug, rocking you back and forth "you're so gorgeous, so pretty I can't stop complimenting you, that's how awesome you are baby, I'm so glad you're my girlfriend." He then pulls you in for a kiss, holding your face in both his hands

Gets absolutely everything and anything your eyes linger on for more than 2 minutes, he doesn't care how expensive it is, he's way too rich to care about the price, and of course, there's nothing more important than what you want, that's how much he loves you.

Whatever you want, you just need to name it and he'll be getting it for you immediately, doesn't care if it isn't available because he will make it available. Anything for you.

Would 101% drag you to the lingerie store, getting you new sets because he's torn way too many of your sets. His favorite one is the blue one you choose, which matches the color of his eyes. After you walk out of the store, he bends down to whisper in your ear with a grin "I can't wait to rip that one off of you."

Takes you to the best restaurant after shopping, getting your favorite dishes and drinks because "he just felt like it"

He's the best <3

Suguru Geto!

Suguru takes you out almost every week, but rarely to a mall, so when he asks you whether you wanted to go to the mall, you were a bit shocked. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, and you shrugged, agreeing to go with him because it wasn't everyday he wanted to go to a mall.

The two of you mostly just walk around, window-shopping rather than actually buying anything. His hand stays in yours at all times, occasionally bringing it up to his mouth to kiss on your knuckles.

Though what attracts you both is an accessories store, where the two of you get all kinds of jewelry and stuff. Suguru gets new earrings for his piercings, while you get necklaces, bracelets and whatever catches your eye.

He pays for everything, of course.

After exiting the store, he remembers how you wanted to get your nails done, so without a word he takes you into the opposite direction towards a nail salon. He helps you out with everything, sitting by your side with his head leaned on your shoulder, and he helps you with everything.

"what color should I get?" You ask him while the lady adds the nail extensions. He thinks for a while, before his thoughts wander to that one video he saw on social media, where the girl got her nails painted with the color of her boyfriend's tip. He smirks and leans into your ear, "get the color of my tip, you know what it is, right princess?" Your eyes widen at his words, shifting in your chair. You ask the lady to apply the color of his tip (or what you think it is, based on your memory) He smiles, he'd know whether it is or it isn't when your hands would be stroking up and down his dick.

Treats you to McDonald's after you've gotten your nails done, repetitively asking if you wanted anything else. He helps you eat your burger because he implemented that you had just gotten your nails done and it'd be a shame for them to break before he got to see whether you picked the right color or not.

Kento Nanami!

Absolute sweetheart. All you had to do was mention that you wanted to go to the mall once and the next day he's taking a sick leave to skip out office and take you to the mall.

He doesn't get the hype of malls, but he's ready to do anything for you.

You guys don't do much shopping and stuff, simply choosing to walk around talking about anything and everything, mainly it was you talking and him listening, but it was okay because he loved the way your voice flowed into his ears. It was music to him. If he could, he'd record your voice and hear it all the time while he was at work, so that he could feel grounded to who he loved, despite the stressful environment.

He's wearing a casual white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and more importantly, his hair was down and he wasn't wearing his glasses. Your arm was looped into his at all times, telling the lookers that he was taken.

After a while, you two decided to eat something. You got yourselves a table while he went to order donuts for the both of you.

While you sat there, your eyes remained focused on your boyfriend, and your brows furrowed as a girl approached him, twirling her hair and what not. You were almost ready to walk to her and tell her to back off, but before you could get up, Kento and the girl looked towards you as he pointed at you, and then made eye contact, waving his hand with a soft smile.

You felt a smile creeping up on your own lips as he walked back towards your table, the smallest hint of smile still plastered over his face when he sits down with your donuts, handing you a spoon.

"Don't think about it doll" His words caught your attention, and as always, he knew exactly what you were thinking about "She came up to me and asked me if I was single, I simply told her that I have the most perfect girlfriend ever and I didn't plan to leave her anytime soon." His words made your heart flutter as a faint hint of blush creeped up on your cheeks, his hand brushing behind a few loose strands of hair from your face.

On your way back to your shared home, Kento got your favorite flowers for you, as a token of his love, "This was one of the best days in my entire life, thank you love." He kissed your cheek, looping your arm in his once more as the two of you walked back

Sukuna!

he doesn't.

[coolyiooo]

BSD Men - When Someone They Know Has A Crush On You

pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor

❗Warnings❗biting, marking, hickeys, slight angst, PDA stuff

🖤DAZAI🖤

Dazai has been noticing how Kunikida has been acting differently towards you. He just seems more timid and nicer to you than the rest of the ADA members. You don't seem to notice it, but he definitely does.

I feel like Dazai wouldn't say anything directly towards Kunikida about how he knows he likes you, but he'd give subtle hints to him. He saw how Kunikida kept looking where you sat in the ADA office ,which was right next to him, and Dazai would say in a teasing tone,

"whatcha looking at Kunikida?" Kunikida blushes a bit

"go back to work. I was just spacing out" he said nonchalantly, only making Dazai smirk.

Sometimes during work, Dazai will just walk up from behind your chair and hug you and whisper sweet nothing's in your ear, but loud enough for Kunikida to hear

"Your so beautiful my belladonna~" he gave you a kiss on the cheek. You were blushing.

"Can't stay away from me for two seconds?" You teasingly asked

"I don't see you complaining my love" he kissed your cheek again with a loving smile.

"I suppose you don't recall our last discussion about PDA rules? Can't you guys wait until you go home?"

"I think someone is jealous~" Dazai responded

"What do you mean?" Kunikida asked a bit startled, wondering if Dazai found out about his secret.

"Just that you don't have a girlfriend, but wait didn't your little journal say you won't find your soulmate until-"

"Enough! Go back to your seat Dazai!"

Dazai would also definitely leave bite marks and hickeys on your neck just so Kunikida can see and remind him who you belong to.You tried your best to cover your hickeys and bite marks Dazai gave you last night, but some of it was still noticeable. You'd have to really look directly at your neck to notice.

During work Kunikida looked at your direction and noticed some marks on your neck, the longer he looked at it he finally knew what it was. He'd get a bit hurt, just another reminder you belong to someone else, but why does it have to be him?

He looked at Dazai and Dazai felt his stare, he'd look back at him "Hm? Getting distracted again Kunikida? Its becoming a bad habit~"

"Oh shut up I was just thinking for one second"

"Oh? About what?"

"None of your business. Get your work done"

Dazai's lips curled into a smirk. Honestly he'd probably feel a tad bad for Kunikida, but at the same time he doesn't just bc there's no way he'd willingly give you up for Kunikida. He knows that you love him and not Kunikida and that he wouldn't make a move on you.

💚RANPO💚

The second he saw how Dazai looked at you, he knew instantly that Dazai has fallen for you. Dazai would know that Ranpo knows that he likes you and Ranpo would know that Dazai knows that he figured out his little crush on you.

Sorry for making this confusing, but they're intellectuals so.

Ranpo wouldn't be insecure or scared about you leaving him for Dazai because he knows you love him, but he'd still keep a close eye on Dazai because he's very flirtatious and a bit touchy towards you. Ranpo would probably confront Dazai about it.

"You do know that being flirty with y/n won't get you anywhere right?"

Dazai smiles sinisterly " yes I'm well aware, but are you perhaps a bit frightened she might choose me over you?"

Ranpo laughs "HA! ofc not! I know she loves me dearly, I just wouldn't want you to get your hopes up so please know your place" he says with a smile.

Dazai looks away, a sinister smile still on his face "Alright, You always know what's best "

Ranpo would know Dazai wouldn't really try anything too bold and Dazai really wouldn't just because he knows it's a loosing game. Still doesn't mean that Ranpo won't show Dazai how much you love him.

It was another normal day at the ADA office and Ranpo was craving some love from you.

He yells across the office "Baby cakes! Can you please come here?"

Everybody jolted from the sudden yelling after the office being quiet for a long period of time. You looked at your boyfriend who was smiling at you.

"Hm? Alright" You walked right next to your boyfriend's side

"is there something wrong?"

Ranpo then suddenly held your waist and forced you to sit on his lap making you yelp. He put his arms around you, hugging you from behind, and put his chin on your shoulder. You were a blushing mess and caught by surprise. Everybody in the office just ignored you and luckily Kunikida wasn't there at the office today.

Ranpo chuckled, "nothing wrong, you were just so cute I couldn't help myself!" He snuggled his nose to your neck .

You chuckled softly, "alright but if you become more of a distraction I will have to go back to my seat"

He sighed gently "fineee" he gives you a quick peck on the neck making you smile.

Ranpo knew Dazai wasn't really watching but he didn't need to, to know what was happening. Ranpo was just smiling to himself. Dazai would feel sorrowful about the situation but he'll just smile through the pain as always :( he'd probably keep his distance from you and that distance will grow larger just so he won't be so heartbroken.

💜FYODOR💜

Our man is very observant so he noticed how Nikolai was more open with you and would try his hardest to make you laugh or how he also took notice on Nikolai's body language and tone in his voice when he's with you. He just knew Nikolai is interested in you.

I feel like Fyodor wouldn't say anything to Nikolai just so there wouldn't be conflict and that'd ruin his plans so he just keeps you and Nikolai at a distance.

I can see Fyodor sneakily making up excuses to separate you two from interacting, but when he can't, he'll find other ways to show Nikolai that he can't have you

Fyodor walks into a room while looking for you, when he does find you he sees that Nikolai is there with you. You were both laughing at whatever the hell y'all were talking about that you didn't even notice your boyfriend standing by the doorway, staring at you two. When you finally realize Fyodor is there, you smile at him.

"Oh hi Fedya! Are you taking a break?"

Nikolai looks at Fyodor with a bit of disappointment, you can barley notice it but Fyodor did.

"No my love, but I do need to see you for a moment" he walks towards you two

"Oh alright! Well bye Nikolai"

You wave Nikolai goodbye while getting up from your seat, he waves back at you

"Don't be gone for too long! You are the only one who cures my boredom" he replied

Fyodor's held his arm out to you and you take his hand, but he smoothly slides it to your hips and takes you to your room. Nikolai's eyes follow you two until your completely out of the room.

When you and Fyodor make it to your room, he starts to gently kiss you and caress your body while putting your back against the wall. You were caught off guard, but you immediately kissed back. Your arms were around his neck and his were on your waist as you both make out passionately.

You pulled on his hair slightly to pull away from the kiss.As you were slightly breathing heavily you asked

"is this why you wanted to see me?" You smiled slightly while tilting your head to the side

"Not exactly"

"Hm? Don't tell me you were a little jealous Fedya~" you asked with amusement in your voice

"Why would I be jealous my love? I have no reason to"

"Yeah your right, jealousy doesn't suit you.. but maybe possessive?"

He pulls your hair back, leaving your neck exposed, making you gasp.He then sinks his teeth into your neck, not enough to make you bleed, he then leaves a couple hickeys on your soft neck and pulls away.

"I just have to remind others what's mine" he kisses your bite mark then looks into your eyes with his harsh ones.

"Don't hide these do you understand?"

You smile at him "wasn't planning on it"

When you return to Nikolai, he sees the marks on your neck. He'll joke/tease you about it as a way to cope with what he's feeling and Fyodor will be able to see the pained look in Nikolai's eyes, but he'll hold no sympathy for him only pity.

[inoreuct]

zosan with abba's super trouper.

is this essentially a pop star au? yes. bear with me anyway.

so the entire vinsmoke family are pop stars and they're perfect in the public eye but actually toxic as HELL, and sanji's sick and tired of it— so he breaks away from them and joins another agency, and zoro's assigned as his bodyguard.

they fight SO MUCH at first. i'm talking screaming and yelling and throwing things across the room (mostly sanji) and being stubborn and straight-up refusing to talk after a certain point (also mostly sanji) and then apologising with food and gifts and not words (mostly, well, both of them). they're like flint and steel; putting them together is just asking for trouble, but the years pass, and somehow through the endless bickering they end up best friends. who would've thought? their sharp edges have softened just enough and they're both too old and too tired and too busy to have cold wars anymore. they know more about each other than perhaps anyone else, and they care.

(they're also both in love and refuse to admit it. idiots.)

and then sanji goes on tour, and zoro has to leave for a training refresher course thing, and sanji's MISERABLE. luffy's with him as a bodyguard instead and it's fine, he's great, sanji loves him— just not the way he loves zoro. he feels fucking homesick in a way he never has because he's never really had a proper home and he knows, he knows it's because zoro isn't here with him. sanji turns around to tell him something and is met with empty air. he keeps trying to order double portions of food and booze before he catches himself and maybe he's being dramatic, but it feels like he's missing a fucking limb.

nami, his manager, has to yell at him to stop moping because all he's doing is eating chocolate and binging french soap operas in his hotel room and huddling up in the big leather jacket that zoro left behind. he just wants to get back to his tiny apartment and curl up on his shitty couch to eat pizza and watch Mean Girls for the hundredth time as zoro complains and gets invested in the drama all over again anyway.

he's nearly dead on his feet as finishes yet another exhausting show, trying to take comfort in the fact that it's his second last; his shoes are kicked off to the corner, his makeup barely removed, and just when he's about to turn in for the night his phone rings and when he sees the caller ID he SCRAMBLES to pick up.

"hey," zoro says, low and rumbly and so achingly familiar that sanji doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice," he breathes, and he means it. he means it more than he even knew he did and it hits him all at once as soon as the words leave his mouth. he misses his best friend, no matter everything else that zoro is to him.

zoro's chuckle is a balm to his soul. "i'm coming to see you tomorrow."

sanji sits bolt upright from where he'd been laid back against the pillows, eyes going wide. "are you serious?" he can't help the hope and excitement that unspools in his gut, the warm rush in his blood as zoro laughs.

"yeah. i'm done with the course. speedran the fucking thing and scored so well they had no choice but to let me go. couldn't miss the last chance i had to see you on tour, could i?" sanji can hear his grin through the phone. "i'm flying in tomorrow morning."

"i'll come pick you up from the airport."

"like hell you will," zoro retorts immediately. "you have a press conference at ten."

shit, he'd forgotten about that. "how'd you know, huh?" sanji counters, faux-petty and reclining back against his plush bedding. god, if there was one good thing about being on tour, it was the fancy hotels.

"been talking to nami," comes the reply, amused and teasing, and sanji groans. "what's this i hear about you acting like a widowed husband?"

"you fucking wish, you moron," he snaps, curling up on his side and hugging a pillow to his chest. the bed is awfully big and awfully cold.

zoro sighs, and there's the sound of something zipping up briskly. "missed you too, curls. look, listen— i gotta get to the airport. see you tomorrow night?"

"...yeah," sanji says, because there's so much he wants to tell zoro and no idea how. he doesn't know where he'd start. he doesn't even know what he wants to say. "yeah, i'll see you. you'll be in the crowd, right?"

"mhm," zoro confirms, accompanied by what sounds like the chirp of an electronic lock. "you just sit tight, curly. i'm coming home."

they exchange a few more words before the line cuts off, but sanji's mind is stuck on three specific words and the possible space for three more after. i'm coming home. but he isn't home right now; he's in a foreign country, in a bed that isn't his, and zoro's flying to him. this isn't home to either of them. unless... and that silence afterwards, like zoro had wanted to say something that would have fit right in. something that would have been a natural end to that string of syllables.

sanji takes a deep breath and does his best to push all thoughts of i love you, spoken or not, to the back of his mind.

still, he can't help but let it all boost him up like a buoy bobbing merrily on the sea. one call from zoro, one short conversation, and he's fucking effervescent; he wakes up smiling and breezes through the press conference with effortless charm. he's bouncing on the toes of his heeled boots even before he steps onto the stage, thrilled by the thought of zoro being in the audience. thousands of eyes on him, thousands of people screaming his name, and he only cares about one. he takes a deep breath as the lights change and the platform he's on begins to rise, fingers tightening around his mic. it's his last night here. he's doing it all for zoro.

it turns out to be the best performance of his life, if he does say so himself. he powers through the entire two hours with ease and hits every note perfectly. he enjoys himself for the first time in a long time, soaks up the glitter and glamour and blinding lights, lets the atmosphere wrap him up and tousle his hair, and he wonders just how it's possible that one person's presence could change so much.

(he doesn't need to wonder. he already knows.)

when he says his final goodbyes for the night he's breathless, heart pounding, anticipatory. the hands patting at his back in congratulation backstage are superficial compared to who he knows is here, and he spares nami a few seconds for a rare squeeze, pausing for a few more when she whispers i'm proud of you in his ear.

and then sanji sees him, and nothing, nothing else fucking matters.

he sprints forward and they crash together and something slams into place inside of him. zoro sweeps him off his feet, squeezing him tight enough that he laughs, bright and merry and real as they spin around and around and he's so dizzy when he's set back down, light-headed and his heart full. he doesn't care where he is, he's home.

zoro takes his weight as easily as anything, tucking sanji to his chest. "god, fuck, you were amazing up there," he says breathlessly, the words pressed into sanji's bejewelled hair. "you were incredible."

the words rumble through his chest and sanji clings tighter, holding zoro desperately around the waist and taking in deep lungfuls of laundry detergent and the fancy pine-and-sandalwood body wash he'd given zoro for christmas. "you're here."

"'course i am," zoro replies, matter-of-fact. "said i'd be here, so i'm here."

his earrings press against sanji's cheek. "can we go get pizza?" he asks meekly.

zoro's answering laugh pours into the horrible aching pit that's been gnawing away at him, fills it up with liquid sunlight as he answers, "we can do whatever the hell you want."

they get pizza. sanji lets zoro pull him around town swearing at the Google Maps on his phone before he finally takes pity and steers them towards the little pizzeria he'd found when he'd snuck out with luffy on their first night here. the tongue-lashing from nami had been worth it, but even so the experience back then had been dull. muted, at best.

now it's like he's seeing the whole world through a whole different lens; the fluorescent sign in the window beams charmingly as the bell above the door chimes, and sanji doesn't even care about the raised eyebrow zoro gives him when he wiggles into the booth seat with undisguised glee. between them they put away a large four-cheese pizza and a frankly massive slice of apple pie à la mode, and sanji's feeling pleasantly stuffed as he finishes up his vanilla milkshake and successfully fends zoro off from stealing sips when he isn't looking. he has plenty of experience with that, after all.

the walk back is filled with comfortable silence. sanji doesn't need anything else— zoro here with him is more than he could ask for. scary dog privilege aside, the man next to him is sanji's best friend, and he loves zoro more than he can, or will, ever say.

zoro drops him off at his room and hugs him goodnight. sanji strips down, blasts the shower as hot as it can go, and scrubs the gel out of his hair along with any of the remaining dregs of emptiness he resolutely tells himself are not there right down the drain.

it can't stop him from thinking, though. of zoro. of compression shirts and cargo pants and worn black boots. of the nights zoro had taught him self-defense and the time sanji nearly broken his jaw with a roundhouse kick neither of them had known he was capable of; the other had grinned up with him with blood all over his teeth, proud and raring to go, barking again! and sanji had glowed. his mind swims with it all even as he towels off and slips into his silk pyjamas— memories of late-night talks with wine and beer, sometimes tea, quips all around, beds shared back-to-back under unspoken agreements when neither of them wanted to sleep alone.

three knocks sound on his door.

sanji hates the way he rushes to the peephole and yanks it open as soon as he confirms who it is. zoro stands there, one hand on the back of his neck, looking bored yet unsettled in his baggy tee with his damp hair sticking up everywhere. "jetlag?" sanji asks, raising an eyebrow as zoro grunts.

"you could say that."

he steps aside in a silent invitation, and zoro looks around as he goes in. sanji topples onto the bed with a sigh of relief and crawls under the blankets, patting the space beside him as he switches on the television. "mean girls?"

"god, i fucking hate you," zoro groans, but he settles in anyways, and sanji grins triumphantly.

it's still not his apartment or his shitty couch— but zoro's here, so it's the next best thing.

they make it through the movie without incident. zoro parrots the dialogue and cheers when regina gets hit by the bus like he does without fail every time. sanji knees him in the thigh for it with a scowl like he always does and it starts a fierce kicking battle under the sheets that results in zoro dangling half off the mattress and sanji laughing so hard he can't breathe.

when they've mostly calmed down, sanji sighs out one final chuckle and sinks back into the pillows. "think you can fall asleep now?" he murmurs, turning to look at where zoro has his head propped in one hand.

"maybe," the other allows, and sanji swallows before he smiles.

"goodnight, marimo."

"goodnight."

the flick of the light switch feels like finality. in regards to what, sanji doesn't know, but now that they're in the darkness and zoro begins to get comfortable behind him he cannot deny that he wants.

he wants those arms around him. wants to sleep even better than he does when they're back to back, wants to fit within the circle of zoro's embrace like he belongs there. wants to belong there. wants zoro as his best friend and everything more. it manifests as a tight ache in the centre of his chest, a knot around his heart that he knows he cannot untangle by himself. sanji curls up into a ball and hugs a pillow to his chest, biting his lip— because zoro is right next to him instead of thousands of miles away, and he's still untouchable all the same.

he's on the cusp of restless sleep when he feels zoro shift, and he prays that the hitch in his breath is unnoticeable. he forces the rise and fall of his chest to stay even as the blankets are smoothed securely around his shoulders, a callused palm brushing his hair away from his face; a soft kiss is pressed to his forehead, a hand cupping his face tenderly and trailing away with the brush of a thumb over his cheekbone. "sweet dreams, curls," zoro whispers, before light cracks in from the hallway as his room door opens and shuts.

the electronic lock beeps, and sanji's eyes fly open. the white ceiling swims as he stares at it, unseeing, and the sheets on the right side of the bed are still warm. there's an indent where zoro's body was and sanji gasps as he drags himself into it, huddling down and pulling the covers over his head until all he can smell is zoro.

his heart stutters, mind racing, fingers tightening in the plush duvet. he's confused, so confused. hopeful. a little mad, if he's being honest, and his next breath trembles out of his lungs. mostly still confused, though, because what the fuck did that mean?

he'll find out, he swears. he will. he'll storm his way to zoro's room and break the damn door down if he has to. but for now, if he hides for a little while until he stops feeling like he's about to cry—

well, that's a secret for his hotel room to keep.

[stil-lindigo]

okay so, not entirely sure what the last anon was on about (and it very well could be a troll just trying to bait. they really should have at least brought up what they meant if they wanted to appear in good faith), but it may be in relation to "drink up" and how it attracted terf attention on twitter? (which I know you addressed btw, so I hope this doesn't come across as an attack or anything)

personally, I think the phrase "our only natural predator" might have appealed to terf rhetoric just a little (but that's my opinion - I very well could be 100% wrong). I have my own personal feelings on the use of "natural" in the phrase (men don't naturally prey on women like animal predators do their prey - if anything, it's unnatural, deliberately chosen behavior - and it reminds me of the excuse that "it's just naturally how men are," like "boys will be boys." HOWEVER, I see how that phrasing ties into the "lioness/women turning it around and preying on the predator" theme, so honestly it works well there), but aside from all that, I can also see why it might've attracted terfs: bc they very often view and frame trans women as male predators to cis women. I know that's definitely not how you intended it though!!

and this also isn't meant as a nitpick to your work, so my apologies if that's how it comes across. I really like your art and your writing (and "drink up" has a very cool theme)! it's just that I can see how terfs might've interpreted it a certain way. it's not your fault that they viewed it like that though, and you've made it very clear you're NOT down with trans exclusionary BS. so that's literally the only thing I could see anon complaining about tbh, assuming they're not just being a troll. also I'm sorry for the super long message (I have an issue w/ typing too much smh). I just thought I'd share my thoughts on it in case it's at all helpful, but also this might just be annoying to read instead, so honestly feel free to just discard it if you prefer!

It’s not annoying at all anon, and I appreciate you taking the time to send this in. The comic you’re talking about is one I think back on with a lot of regret. It was made in a furious haze after a big time female streamer revealed that she was being mentally abused for years by her husband, where he would waste her hard earned money, threaten her dogs and her livelihood and overall be a monster to the woman who was their primary breadwinner. The reaction online to this information by her largely male audience was so genuinely vile and violently misogynistic that I made the comic, without thinking broadly about the implications you’ve already pointed out. In reality, the comic was meant to talk about how all women (cis and trans) suffer under the patriarchy and how the label of womanhood can often be an open call for baseless derision, dehumanisation and entitlement at many levels.

TERFS quickly co-opted the comic, and I’ll always regret ever giving them an opportunity to feel empowered and validated by my art, but I’ve learned from the experience overall to do better by my trans siblings. Thank you for engaging in good faith - I hope my behaviour now and in the future can make up for past mis-steps.

[orange-imagines]

Mud Dogs x Sick Reader

Relationship: Platonic

A/N: *blows dust off my keyboard* Uh hey guys. Fancy seeing you all here! Anyway I'm feeling blehhh and I've been thinking about the mud dogs a lot lately, so here you go have this for free <33 Also if you have mud dogs requests, send em in! Will I get to them? Who could possibly know. But reqs are open all the same

Well, they don't like seeing you miserable, that's for sure.

None of them are really used to dealing with this kind of thing. Sure, they all have experience being around people who've been sick and sometimes even helping with it depending on who the person was, but since taking up a life of crime they've gotten a bit rusty. They're way better at patching up the cuts and bruises you all get from your various missions and heists, but taking care of someone who's just caught a bug or has invisible pain going on? It's not their strong suit. But that doesn't mean they don't still try.

Danny's the best at looking after you by far. While he might make a joke here or there, he's the least likely to get on your nerves, and the most likely to make you a warm beverage and a hot meal unprompted. He looks after Len and Mick enough when they overwork themselves or go too far on a job that he has a good understanding of what you need: time, rest, and peace and quiet (the latter said while he glares at your other two friends). I take back all my generalization, actually- he's not a bad caretaker at all! He'll stop by your room/your spot on the couch and ask how you're doing and if you're feeling up for accompanying them on some task, and he'll sit with you and rub your back and let you complain about how bad you feel if you want to. He keeps as many worries as possible off your plate, and encourages you to rest as much as you can. He doesn't care if you're all actively being hounded by the cops (which you probably are), he just says "that ain't for you to worry about. Go take your meds and lay down". While he may come across as stern, he really just wants you to feel better. He doesn't like seeing anyone he cares about in pain.

Leonard is brash and can be quite loud and irritating when the others are involved, but when left alone with you he's way softer than he is on a daily basis. He won't baby you, but he's way more likely to do what you ask of him without complaint (holding things for you, getting up and getting you stuff, microwaving lunch, changing the channel to something he normally would never watch). If you want to vent about how bad you feel, he's your man. To him, your pain is something he can shit-talk with you about ("That fucking sucks. Why's your body doing this? This guy bothering you? Next time someone sneezes on you, tell me. I'll take care of them"), and he's only a little bit serious. He'll continue on with the bit if it makes you laugh- actually, there's little he won't do to try and lighten your mood, so if the two of you have any embarrassing/silly inside jokes that you want him to recreate or a funny voice you want him to do, this is the time. He'll deny you for a few minutes, but he's super easy to sway when you're sick. I hope Danny and Mick were there to see him do some cheesy shit to make you feel better. The big softie. They'll never let it go.

Mickey's just a pure wild card here, god help you. It's not like he's bad, he's just a bit chaotic because he really wants to fix whatever's going on with you, and gets impatient when he realizes there's nothing either of you can do but ride it out. He's very good about reminding you take any meds or painkillers you need though, and he comes up with a lot of other ways to ease your discomfort. Anything that usually helps you, he's down to do, no joke. He'll be your body pillow or heating pad or wrap his arms around your face if you have a headache. He cares the least about the possibility of you getting him sick and will be in your space and company as much as you want him to, though if you're feeling touch adverse you may have to shoo him away. If he's pestering you, feel free to tell him you're annoyed- he's got thick skin and knows you love him, so he won't take it to heart. He's a good sport.

Mick's also the most likely to procure mystic medicine for you, not realizing the potential negative effects that could have on a human, especially when a few of his medicines definitely came from the black market.

"Yeah I'm sure Y/N would appreciate this crazy plant I got. Funny that it's making my arm all tingly." "C'mon Mick for fuck's sake-"

I won't lie, it's not the most ideal situation you could be in. The guys' lives are chaotic and messy and often lacking in common physical comforts. But they always look out for you when you need it. Them having your back doesn't just apply to high-stakes cons and heists, they're there for you 24/7 (no matter how much beauty sleep they might lose). You're part of their messy little family, and they'll always do their best to take care of you, even if they might be lacking in a few areas.

[gray-thistleclan]

(accidentally made this more of a chatfic. my bad)

Cherrystar skittered across the muddy floor outside of camp. It rained just a few moments prior, so the ground was sticky and not pleasant to walk across, as Cinderpaw described it. Going for a patrol to reinforce the Gray-Thistleclan and Deep-Murkclan border. Cherrystar took Call Of The Void along with her, and the two quickly wandered far away from the camp.

"Hey, COTV?" Cherrystar's loud voice made COTV jolt up a little.

"Mhm?" She asked, now looking face-to-face with the leader.

"Can i talk to you about something?"

COTV nodded. Cherrystar took a deep breath and spoke up.

"I'm a little worried about Goldsight. Ever since Fogkit was born, she has been acting erratically, complaining about not felling well and her eyes get darker and darker, like she's slowly dying or something. I certainly hope she's not dying!" Cherrystar rambled to COTV, who was staring intently at her, expression unreadable.

"That would be awful, Cherrystar. I guess she should talk to the other medicine cats, maybe she's sick." COTV mumbled while sniffing the ground for any strayed scents.

"It doesn't seem like any sickness at all, it's like she's been cursed. Are her kits maybe weakening her? That seems like a high possibility. It's just... making me very worried."

"It's okay, Cherrystar."

"What if it's not okay, COTV?" Cherrystar harshly responded, surprising COTV. "I-I'm sorry about that, but what if she isn't okay? She looks life the life is draining out of her! I'm just..." Cherrystar sighed. "I keep repeating the same thing over and over again."

COTV didn't say anything, just nodded and looked away.

Awkward silence engulfed the two mollies, both seemingly trying to start a conversation but too anxious to actually say anything. Cherrystar suddenly jumped, looking like she had an idea.

"What about your paranormal abilities? Are they cool to have?"

"It's fine." COTV murmured quietly.

"You can see dead cats right? Have you seen Sparrowswipe and Woollyspeckle? What do dead cats look like, do they sparkle??"

"While i've seen Woollyspeckle, he mostly hangs around his mother and sometimes Anisetail, i haven't seen Sparrowswipe. I only hear what he's saying. Dead cats look like a wispy version of themself, they don't sparkle."

"Aww... Wait- What does Sparrowswipe say? Any insults about you or something?"

"Well, the first thing he said was "COME ON!". It was very loud. Since then, he's said stuff like "I knew COTV shouldn't have joined!", or "Cherrystar exile her!". I don't pay much attention to these, but they are quite loud- and he just said "Buzz off." right now. He seems to follow wherever i go."

"Does Woollyspeckle say anything?"

"Mostly saying stuff like "Man, Sparrow is loud!" or talking about Strawflower, Raincrackle or Fogkit. He doesn't say much, so it's mostly Sparrowswipe talking."

"Sweet!"

Silence once again. However, this time, they weren't focused on the patrol, they were more interested in enjoying each other's company. So much in fact, they've strayed away from doing any bordering and were just wandering around their territory.

However, COTV spoke up to break the silence.

"What was it like in Deep-Murkclan?"

"Hm? Oh, uhh, i left when i was 6 moons, don't really remember much, hehe... urghh..." Cherrystar babbled, speaking without thinking at all. "Umm, there was this apprentice task, where you had to feed the pit-"

"Feed... the what?"

"Feed the pit. The pit was scary! I hate it so much! Anyway, we had to feed the whatever was living underneath the horrible pit. Also it was very dark!"

"Must have sucked."

"It did suck! Also, Serpentstar, she wasn't the leader before! Though that didn't mean she was obsessed with the warrior code. Seems like it only got worse when she got her nine lives."

"Why did you take Goldsight with you when you left?"

"Oh, uh, well..." Cherrystar struggled to say anything. "Well, you know she has a scar, right? She got it when she was just a moon old- and i thought it wasn't suitable for her to live there, so i fled with her."

"Interesting."

"...What were we supposed to do again?"

"...Excellent question."

"Weren't we supposed to... um... patrol?"

COTV shrugged, which made Cherrystar sigh.

"We should get back to camp before the others think we got lost or died somehow."

"Yeah, that's fair."

They didn't get much done, but they liked being around each other. COTV has tried to tell Cherrystar something, but has never been confident enough to actually tell her. Maybe another day will be the day she will finally say it.

-🦚

DOG this is so good, kinda makes me wish i need how to write lol great job!

[remusawoooo]

anon here, excited to read the essay! i asked you because i really like your takes and i see people in the more canon-adjacent parts of the marauders fanbase to complain about the extremes of the fanon one, though personally ive never really seen anything Too extreme, tho thats probably just tantamount to how well i curate my spaces i suppose (ive seen people say that fanon makes remus really “alpha” or makes sirius “bimbofied” and while ive seen hints of those extremes here and there, mostly it looks like it varies from person to person. ive just seen remus be more assertive than he probably is in canon, or sirius being more dramatic and “fem” than he probably is in canon). from what i know people like exaggerating events (the prank, etc.) or shifting some personality traits, but i dont really think thats a bad thing - i personally enjoy it. as long as they dont completely turn characters into stereotypes (though its a pitfall of every fandom, i fear), then whatever its just camp.

people are allowed to criticize stuff like that though, not taking that away from anyone, i personally just dont really care enough to be totally accurate esp since this hyperfix is kind of the bottom of the barrel for me LMAO. but i ask mostly bc im just curious to see what other peoples opinions are, and bc i think - especially in a fanbase like this - that its incredibly important to be at least a little critical with your media experience and reflect on it. saying “oh fuck canon we’re just having fun” is fine and all, i dont think anyone is stopping you, i think the personalities people have made up for characters that have zero screen time are super fun and the little ships are not everyones tea but like its fine. but even still, people should be way more aware of what characters theyre dealing with and from what franchise, and like reflect on any biases you may have. if youre making shit up for a random DE character, or retconning some sutff, okay, whatever, but be sure to not defend or like suddenly turn to really weird rhetoric. idk i think its the bare minimum in a fanbase like this

i definitely rambled way too much here, super sorry op! i hope this doesnt bother you, feel free to reply or feel free to not. i just really like hearing peoples thoughts on things, and i like your takes and your blog so i hope i didnt catch you by surprise. i really am just an outsider trying to look in LOL

hello anon, I'm sorry I lost your ask. I was writing on my laptop and saved the draft (but apparently had to press on alt, and didn't do it) so I basically lost your question and half of my initial response. Ty for sending in another ask!! Not a bother at all, i find this very lovely :D 

I was mortified to find that someone who isn't really a part of the fandom was perceiving me while I was complaining about fictional characters ahahaha. still, thank you for validating me and asking my thoughts on the mischaracterization of marauders!! I do talk about it daily, unfortunately, and without any prompt too. I'll try to gather all my thoughts here. I don't necessarily come across fanon as much as I did when I reentered the fandom and honestly, I can not be more with you about curating your space !! at the end of the day, I am just here to have fun, and really, pointing out these issues is not a good time at all! But I do post a lot about these, I can't be bothered to bottle up any thoughts lol.

I think the major issue I have with current interpretations is the underlying bigotry that comes along with it. There is a lot of unchecked problematic content that doesn't sit right with me.

Flanderizing characters in fandom interpretations is not limited to marauders fandom obviously. any popular media will face this because so many of us want to interact with one character so their traits are simplified for easier consumption and to find a common ground. this is also not limited to new marauders fandom. even in the older era, leather jacket-wearing, motorbike-driving quintessential bad boy siruis was a thing. so I won't nitpick on silly simplifications.

I just want to say that this isn't about me wanting everyone to have the same interpretations as I do about the canon. I follow so many lovely people and I don't agree with all of their posts. But, we all just simply share the love for these characters in the text and form an imaginary community. So, if we were to remove all the issues I will mention, it is still very well possible to have different personal takes.

Here are some of my issues:

Queerness, Gender roles, and misogyny:

My biggest problem is the representations of queer relationships. the fandom packages these couples in a strange and obvious heteronormative mold where the individuals fit into male and female gender roles. mlm and wlw are now an “f/m”* stereotype and characterization gets affected by the ships. Heterosexual relationships shouldn't have these limitations either, anyway. There is no one way to be a woman or a man. With queer relationships in particular, we have reclaimed the word queer now but it was used to describe the unconventional weirdness in the relationship. We didn't fit into the normal portrayal of a loving relationship. So, it really bothers me, even in fiction, that queer ships are popularly consumed in a way that represents a traditional template. (*this is not about gender itself but the gender roles! f/m can very well be queer!). 

Let's take the biggest victim in this fandom: sirius.

Sirius’ portrayal concerning his gender and sexuality has heavily changed his characterization in the fanon. We have a character who is popularly headcanonned as trans and is it a coincidence that all their traits have changed from the og material? Sirius is suddenly vain, whiny, and dumb. Canon doesn't suggest this interpretation, it has to have stemmed from somewhere. It's the implicit bias. Sirius becomes a caricature of what a woman “should be”. When we focus on sexuality, there is the suddenly short twink sirius who has the same new traits- proving the point of fulfilling gender roles. These characteristics are a stand-in for the “female” role of the traditional relationship and it becomes more clear in the example of new age wolfstar. Remus is now the big alpha stoic manly man- the obvious stand-in for the “male” role. I could go on, it is apparent in the way you can see remus becomes a caretaker and sirius is taken care of.

The point I am trying to make is not to discourage gender/sexuality hc. I love them, keep them coming. But, why is female sirius not tall suddenly? It is not inherently bad at all to have a feminine and masculine pairing! But why do we need to change the constitutions of these characters to consume their relationship?

I'll keep dropping disclaimers because I hate being misinterpreted: I don't obviously mean every single person is doing this or that doing one of the things means doing the other too. 

Race:

It is related to the point above. I was personally so excited to see the popular desi james hc. Even in fanon, I have never seen such a prevalent and encouraged brown rep, it was quite sweet to come back to that. But the problem is the change of characteristics that comes with race hc. Desi james is also a manly dude who is big and buff as opposed to the white petite and delicate regulus within jegulus ship. The melanin is directly proportional to the manliness here. 

This is a propagation of race stereotypes. Maybe jegulus was a bad example because usually there are seen as blank templates. I will raise the argument that this can't be all we can come up with for blank canvases then. Either way, my point about race still stands when you repeatedly design interracial queer relationships so they fall into heteronormative roles. Anyway, same issue with wolfstar when there is a brown remus.

Canon, JKR, and hypocrisy:

Refusing to engage with source material is funny when we are picking characters out of it. the interpretations of the characters will be from their book. otherwise, they are just original characters with the same name. you can add onto the traits and a lot of the time fandom comes to a consensus regarding a few things! This is common in every fandom but I don't think I have seen such reluctance to not only critically engage with media but also shame others who do. We are surely in special circumstances with this fandom but I really do think jkr and how we navigate the fanon should be two different things.

Most of us don't condone jkr or even remotely agree with any nonsense she spews on the daily. Most of us can see the problematic nature of even consuming this media and staying in this fandom. It is one of the reasons I even left the fandom. Most of us are simply doing our best to engage carefully while distancing ourselves from her. So, it is quite laughable when some love to take the moral high ground for rejecting canon while still engaging with the same characters. (the rejection of canon in question being sirius’ height, lol)

(Sirius' height is quite a polarising fact apparently. Unfortunately, the point about height is also discussed so disingenuously. When I talk about sirius’ height, it is not really about him being 6 or 7 feet. It will not really impact my life. It is about what it represents. He is bimbofied as he becomes short. It's an issue of "WHY" again.)

Of course, this isn't an accusation of intentional bigotry from everyone here. The problem with this fandom is that the people in it tell themselves that it is progressive and to run away from the problematic creator as much as possible. We are not progressive if all we do is co-opt queer and racially diverse identities on such a superficial level. The bias manifests in subtle forms. I just wish we check ourselves from time to time, that's all. 

There is a lot of hostility when we try to discuss issues in the fanon. Things are interpreted in the most misguided way to just win the argument. Like I said in the beginning, we all just want to have a good time. That also means creating a welcoming space for vulnerable groups (especially when the same identities are used to pat yourselves on the backs for inclusivity points). I didn't even cover everything btw, I just wrote about the issues that concern me. queer and poc also partake in biased representations, I also probably have some biases that I didn't identify yet. I just think it would be super neat if everyone tried to make an effort to unlearn and engage with media without hurting anyone. 

I have other issues but they are all just super subjective opinions and smth I can ignore when others do. ex: I really don't like giving tragic backstories to bigots in the story. Not every supremacist loser has a trauma that forced them into oppressing people! There is also "tropeyfication" of all major ships. Just an overall issue in the reading world I think, though.

Anon, I didn't mean to make it preachy in any way btw. You probably asked for a silly little rant and I went full lecture mode, so I apologize for the tone shift!! I mentioned these because every other issue can be brought down to these imo. Like you said, I also don't have any fixation on everything being canon-compliant. I only complain by asking about the thought process behind certain kinds of changes, if that makes sense! I hope this wasn't a drag really and you can see where I am coming from. If I misspoke anywhere, pls lmk. Thanks for sharing your opinions too!!

This is a long long rant, anyone who read everything, you are wonderful and patient. Thank you for taking the time. This huge post and the content can make you think, “who cares this much?” or “it's not that serious” and yaa it really isn't that serious. The characters aren't real but we all are. the identities projected are real. so, it does matter to talk about this.

Everything said this is a fun place to be once you find your own corner in the playground.

[distortedataraxia]

Sk8 the infinity x reader (platonic)

When you first start skateboarding

Author note : Hi ! Sorry this is really small and rushed, i wanted to begin and try to post in this fandom with something simple, like i did for bsd, i hope this is enjoyable anyways ★

Reki ! ★

When you first start skateboarding, reki is really excited and motivated to help you learn, he'll be patient and will keep you motivated, giving you a lot of tips and making sure you're okay on the run.

Chances are, he's the one who's gotten you into skateboarding, or he kept harassing you to try it out, both are very possible.

Reki will make sure to congratulate you on every small steps of the way, if you don't feel confident or scared, reki will reassure you that it's okay.

He might aswell build you a personalized skateboard while he's at it.

Overall, he'll be supportive, bright , patient and kind.

Langa ! ★

Langa will be patient and considerate, if you're injured, he will forbid you from being reckless.

He'll also probably ask reki for advices when you're having troubles with something and he doesn't know how to help.

He'll get worried when you fall down but he'll also encourage you, he'll try to make you feel the fun and freedom feeling in his own ways.

And most certainly, Reki will be included 100% in one way or another, so you're probably going to have the duo supporting you all the way through this journey of skateboarding.

Joe ! ★

Joe. Joe... How do i say this.

He'll be supportive, sure, but he'll probably flex and use himself as an example very very often. Am i wrong?

Please bury me if i am.

I can imagine you two chatting about skateboarding tricks in a restaurant(most certainly his restaurant) in a very chill atmosphere.

He'll encourage you, that's for sure, and remind you to never isolate yourself and come to him or anyone else for advices or to hang around and have a good time.

He might look like a dad with his child.. unless-

Cherry ! ★

Cherry will be supportive, though he might not look that happy, he is happy about it.

He completely believes in you and encourage you to learn.

Looking at the way you stand on the board and skate when you're able to, he'll give you advices, a lot of advices, probably based on operations, degrees and all of that.. AM I LACKING ORIGINALITY?? I'M SO SORRY-

Overall, Cherry will be really sweet and will help you learn skateboarding in his own ways, if joe came across him teaching you though...

Well, guess you're having a break and a show to watch, yay! Where is the popcorn at now?

Shadow ! ★

Shadow.... uhm, shadow.. I.. Uh..

It depends on multiple factors, shadow can be a complete "antagonist" Or a real sweet guy, if he's on his "antagonist" mode, he won't be really supportive , as you know..

But if he's on his sweet side, then he'll be supportive and patient, he'll try to make sure you don't get too hurt...

Or he won't.

Maybe try to kidnap him through the garden store, he'll complain but uhm..

I guess it'll work out.

Shadow can be helpful though, i swear. I'm just too tired lazy to think furthermore.

Miya ! ★

Miya will be a tease, but he'll also be very supportive and caring, he'll make sure to give you advices and that you're okay, and will, once again, tease you a lot, but you'll surprise him caring a few times there and there.

He's very sweet, and he'll encourage you, he doesn't want you to leave him too, so, he'll be really considerate and all of that...

I uhm, this is too much for my heart plz imagine the rest i'm quitting my job bye

Adam ! ★

Adam.. He'll try and see if you're suitable to being his uhm... Eve..

If you are, then be ready because this is going to be something, if you're not, then he's completely disinterested.

I don't know what else to say, maybe he could give you a few advices like he did to miya?

[sweetshelluvaau]

Okay another sorta kinda rant but more of a ramble.

I see a lot of people complaining about 'why is Lucifer so short?' or think he's goofy and honestly kind want to put my two cents in.

Lucifer being short compare to Charlie doesn't bother me much being I Stan a short king. Heck, I'm even down for him being a goof at times but I feel my huge grip with HH!Luci is that he lacks the intimation factor.

He's Lucifer! He's the King of Hell and the Sin of Pride! He shouldn't come across as a push over, let alone make Alastor look more competent in comparison. I mean if you want to have the two have a bit of a feud, sure, that could be fun depending on how it's handled seeing the two try to one up each other or maybe Alastor having respect for Luci despite him low key seething on the inside being c'mon, Al is a prideful guy too and I doubt he takes well to losing, regardless if he had no shot on winning against the king of hell.

If anything, I kinda was hoping they went the Hunson Abadeer route with him if they were gonna make him a goof being Abadeer had moments where he was down right terrifying! (that and I won't lie I can't help but not to picture a 'why did you eat my fries?' moment with Charlie after seeing someone drawing that). Also kinda wish they made him look a bit older than he does now notably if he is gonna be a short king.

Also hot take: I find his interest in ducks cute. Man has to have hobbies.

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 21

"Going Under" AKA "Going Down in the Laundry Room"

We made it home just in time for the episode, but I was too worn from the events of the day to finish last night. So, here it is, your Meta.

SPOILER ALERT: Look, I don't spoil those who want to remain unspoiled, which is why there's a cute "Read More" button. But as soon as you click that, you're on your own. You will be spoiled. Sorry, not sorry.

All squared away? It's time to dive in!

Lucy and Tim Brief the Team

There's something very powerful about seeing Lucy and Tim standing up there to tell everyone about the Op.

It throws me back to Lucy's first Under Cover assignment when an angry Tim perched outside the door, arms crossed, while Lucy sat as a member of the briefing.

Now, Sergeant Second Class Bradford and... what the hell!?

Where's Lucy's promotion, dagnabbit?!

Look, I'm really not trying to complain after the feast we got in this episode. But, it really does strike hard when you're thinking about earlier seasons and how far Tim has come professionally.

I really hope the "Lucy wants to make Detective" story line continues this season or beginning of next.

"Which is where Officer Chen comes in. She'll be going undercover..."

It's good that Tim's the one who's introducing this, and we're continuing our thread of, "Tim is trying to be okay with this."

Also, again, a long way from Tim being pissed about Lucy going UC. The growth has been massive. I think it's important to acknowledge that even as we spend this episode highlighting how much further these two have to go.

The need for continued growth does not cancel out the growth already achieved. Work is work, and when you put it in, it matters.

"Until further notice, if you see Officer Chen out in the world, don't acknowledge her."

And, I'm thrown back to Lucy's Op at the end of Season 3, when Tim and Jackson came across her with the traffic stop. I remember Jackson asking Tim how to play it, and Tim coaching him through.

"I called Hard Luck." "Really? He's such an unreliable CI."

Gosh, I love how these two talk to one another. Again, we've come so fucking far.

And I know I'm waxing nostalgic, a bit, but I think that's natural for an episode of this magnitude. Lucy hasn't done more than a short stint undercover op in many seasons.

And this is the first time we get to see these two handle it as a couple.

Every other time they've done this, Tim was a TO or a coworker. Now, he's Lucy's Shower Sex Sweetie and Quality Quickie with a dash of Down-And-Dirty-All-Night-Long-Hottie.

It's bound to change the dynamic. But one thing that I love about this scene is how equal they are.

Sure, Lucy doesn't have the rank, but she's no longer "sir"ing Tim (unless he asks for it in the bedroom... or shower... or wherever role playing activities might transpire).

"He knows it's important to me." "Aw... undercover love." *giggle*

Y'all, I'm giddy. Like, legit was grinning like a fool. And after the day I've had, that's no small miracle.

Also, it feels like Eric Winter almost broke, and like Melissa O'Neil did. I have no intel on this, and I might be completely off-base, but there was something about his little quirk of the lip and double-take that would definitely have set me off if I was working opposite him in that scene.

"Jamie Hall." "You all set up Jamie?" "Yeah, all good."

So. Fucking. Cute.

I just love that Tim's the one outside keeping an eye on her (even if my subconscious is trying to connect the dots between IA paperwork, possible liabilities of Tim overreacting or losing his cool, and what happens if he uses the wrong name by accident, etc).

He is the protector. And being involved in the Op is easier for him to handle than not being involved.

Think about it... we know that Isabel would go away for months at a time and Tim felt like he couldn't breathe the whole time. He didn't know about the people she met. He didn't know anything.

He told Isabel that Lucy was different, and I think we all can see that Chenford can be different. But without communication, they're doomed.

Golly, that sounds dramatic. Like that old shipping commercial where everyone is doomed. Yeah, like twelve of you reading understand that reference, and I'm leaving it anyway.

But, I truly believe communication is the foundation to a strong relationship. And I'm not just saying that because I happen to hold two degrees in communications.

Tim and Lucy have the benefit of an established relationship based on trust and respect. But learning to effectively communicate your needs, wants, fears, aversions, and desires as a couple is completely different.

"Are you good? .... "Are you good?" "Do you mean do I miss you already? Nah, I'm fine." "You are such a jerk."

This is so me and Matt coded. And, yes, I'm Lucy in this scenario. Can't tell you how many times I've affectionately called Matthew a jerk and he's shared that same satisfactory smirk on Tim's face afterwards.

"Hey, will you keep an eye on Tamara for me? You know, just check in on her every once in a while." "Of course. Yeah, don't worry about her. I'll keep an eye on her. You just focus on the job."

Tim is really trying to be amazingly supportive for her. And I love this little reminder that Tim does have his own place.

Yes, for production purposes we're spending a lot of time at Lucy's (that I head-canon is because she lives closer to the station).

Also, Tim doesn't hesitate to watch out for Tamara. There was a time he only referred to Tamara as "Lucy's Puppy", but now they're family.

"How long do you think this will take?"

Excuse me, we're getting a montage!?! Like, a montage with voice over provided by our intrepid duo? Be still my beating heart!

Y'all don't understand. I was a Voice Over artist for two decades. So, when I see actors who can also do voice over well, I get super hyped.

Melissa O'Neil and Eric Winter decided to make me gawk at their talent even more tonight. Gee wiz! Like, it's possible they recorded their audio together, but more likely they were each in comfy clothes in the booth solo on completely different days.

And the chemistry. still. freakin. works. That's talent, my friends.

Look, some people crush VO and some people don't. Just watch (or don't watch... maybe with shrooms nearby) the Star Wars Holiday Special animated section to see what I mean.

I'm not gonna name names, but it was really easy to call which Star Wars actor was going to go into voice work later and which one really shouldn't have been asked to do that long VO for Blade Runner.

"Oh, do not finish this season of Top Chef without me." "I can't make any promises."

Y'all, this is so me and Matt coded! Now, Top Chef is my show and not Matthew's. I even keep it on in the background when I'm working or writing a screenplay.

Yes, I know most people don't work that way. I'm weird. I've come to terms with it, and I like me—weird and all.

But we totally have our shows where we say, "You better not watch this without me!" And, usually, I'm the one to screw it up. Mostly by accident!

Matthew always reminds me of Mean Girls. He wanted to see it in theaters. I said to hold off. Then we were in the video store (yes, we're old) and he offered to rent it, but I said to hold off. The third time was a year later when he remembered we hadn't seen it.

Except I accidentally caught it on TV totally forgetting we said we'd watch it together. Eep!

Also, after Lucy complaining about her ex watching too many cooking shows after his wrists were slit, I find it interesting she actively watched them with Tim.

Just goes to show cooking shows were never the problem. *cough* dead weight puffed chicken *cough*

"You ever wish you has a normal job?" "One where people don't shoot at you? Not once." "Yeah, me, either."

I love how easy their conversation is. These are the little things that add up to big things when you're building a relationship. And some mastermind in the Writer's Room thought, "What if we advance their relationship while advancing the episode's story via VO?"

As much flack as VO sometimes takes (and I'm actually a VO fan), I adore this choice.

We don't need to meet all the people in the office and establish relationships with them. It doesn't service the story or our core characters. So, we're letting Tim and Lucy—two characters we adore—carry us through via the VO. It's bloody beautiful.

Also, I love the pacing of this episode. Love it. There's an effortlessness to the timing of the edits and the passage of time via wardrobe change is so beautifully done.

I know we have the Super giving us time stamps via dates, but those are almost superfluous because we can visualize the journey via other cues. It's stuff like this that makes me bloody giddy.

"Making any friends?"

This. Is. So. Cute. Tim is actually keeping Lucy sane, here, I'm convinced! Remember her last UC assignment where she had to check in via phone? She was bored out of her mind.

"Is the monotony getting to you?" "I don't mind it... I just don't want it to all be for nothing."

This is so interesting to me. The word choice, I mean. This is how I felt about the infertility drugs... it couldn't all be for nothing.

I'm not going to get into the whole thing, here. But, I dealt with multiple years of infertility for my kids. For a while, I had to be on this medication—letrazole. Most people have minor reactions on it. I had almost all the weird/severe reactions.

But it got my follicles to optimum size for ovulation. It wasn't all for nothing.

There are things we put ourselves through willingly, sometimes, that to an outsider might seem strange. But we have a reason for what we're doing—and a hope that it's the right thing to do.

"Why don't we go for a walk?"

It's not Chenford, but I gotta call out my on-screen bestie for using her brains on this one to prevent Frank from taking her to a second location. Well done.

Tim Pretending to Be On the Phone

Fierce protector is there. Now, I'm turning off my subconscious brain on this one, and I'll explain why at the end. But, I did think it was a nice touch to have Tim on the phone, here.

There's something about this episode that felt like a dash of Alias was sprinkled onto the souffle. It's already an abundant hour that could feel bloated, but instead is rich and decadent. But that added spice is palpable in the shooting and editing, especially.

That over-the-shoulder shot of the landscape when Tim's watching them feels hand-held, giving us that sense of something being off-kilter and unstable.

When Tim hangs up, it's a shot of his torso, out-of-focus, with the real action behind him. There are layers to how this is shot, and it's so reminiscent of a spy movie in the best ways.

The whole episode is already elevated by Michael Rooker. But the script and pacing and directing and editing all feel like they've risen to the occasion, too.

"I was bored to early onset rigor mortis."

But this is a part of UC life. It's the "hurry up and wait" that is strangely a huge part of life in the film/television industry, as well. Like, a huge part.

It could be waiting for the sun to set so you have the perfect lighting, waiting for an actor on set, waiting for notes, or even a Writer's Strike if it comes to that.

UC often means embedding for months at a time before getting what you're going after. It's something for which Tim and Lucy must prepare. And I feel like this episode is the perfect vehicle to get us there.

"Like a date?" ... "odds are he's hoping for a little something-something."

Tim is having a hard time, and Grey knows it. I love how he casts a glance Tim's way on this line, sensing his unease.

Let's be real—Grey saw Chenford coming before they did. And he's the one really tuned into Tim, here.

Tim can't help walking her to the door, holding it open for her, even if he knows he can't touch her. He's concerned.

"You okay?" "Five by five." "You gotta treat this like any other op and treat Lucy like any other UC." "I know."

I'll be honest, when I first watched this scene, this is what I wrote: UGH. I don't like what's being set up. Please don't let Tim fuck this up. Please don't let Tim fuck this up.

I have never been so happy to be wrong about my read on a scene. I seriously worried we were setting it up for Tim to be the liability in all this, and I'm grateful that's not the direction it went.

This show has a history of showing couples working through bad times, tough situations, close calls. The core couples suffer as much as any Austen heroine—and they come out alright in the end. I'm grateful to see that tradition continue with Chenford.

"Okay."

First off, I have to admit that I giggled when Lucy's head popped up. I know it's a completely inappropriate response, but all I could picture was one of those Whack-A-Mole's at the Chuck-E-Cheese growing up. She was like a little prairie dog, and I haven't been able to watch the scene since.

Anyway, back to what I wrote when this first aired: Tim sees Lucy and he can breathe, again. She knew. She knew he'd be looking for her.

And Tim knew he couldn't breach. If he went in, that'd give away everything, and someone needed to go after that car.

He's doing everything right. But it hurts like hell.

"Gun was empty. I got lucky. Otherwise..."

And you can see it hurts. Look, Tim has faced a lot worse in his time in the military and working Patrol. But everything is raw right now.

The woman he loves it in danger. She was nearly killed by that same weapon. Both of them had close calls with the same gun and lived to tell the tale.

"Hey, you okay?" "Yeah. I am now.... meet me at the laundry room in your building." "Yes. See you in 30."

I love the touch that Lucy's hand is on the phone before Frank even pulls away. She needs to touch base with Tim. She needs to hear his voice.

And I love the emphasis Melissa O'Neil places on "Yes". It's a heart cry for its soulmate. There is no question that they need to see one another.

Tim has always had this need to protect Lucy, even before romance was on the table. And Lucy has always had a need to protect Tim, too, in her own way.

Lucy watching out for Tim with Isabel. Tim doing whatever it took to save Lucy from a serial killer. Over and over, these two have a need to know the other is okay.

I remember not so long ago Tim was asking Nolan, Nyla, Angela... asking if Lucy was okay. He needed to know. Then, he finally had the direct line as a friend. He could text her to get the details.

Now, they need to see each other. It's that same need, but it's grown along with their relationship.

*hug* "That was really scary." "Yeah, I almost had a heart attack."

Lucy launches herself up into his arms and he nestles into her shoulder. Tim's right hand is splayed across her back, as though he wants to hold as much of her at one time as he can.

It's another one of those "Eric Winter act all the way through his fingers" moments. Tim's whole body is reacting to holding her, safe in his arms, down to those fingertips.

These poor babies. This is the first time they've had to do this deep since Lucy's S3 arc. And they've never done it in love, before. Not with each other.

Tim knows what he lost with Isabel. But this love is different, deeper, developed from the gradual building of trust. Layers upon layers of caring. Lucy is the love of his life—and he's run raw from witnessing the shootout, and skirting death moments apart.

"If you need to tap out-" "No."

Tim is trying to give her an out, and there's a mix here of professional and personal. She's shaken. So is he. But this is the job.

And he knows that. He does. But we've already established he can't be objective where she is concerned.

"Has he tried anything?"

This is a scenario that's run through my mind a million times—what would Tim do if someone violated Lucy... and what would he do to that person?

The way Eric Winter plays this moment is so heartbreaking, too. There's a vulnerability in Tim's eyes that is completely personal, void of professional. He's a man worried about the love of his life.

He knows she can handle herself. It's not a cognitive issue. It's that part of him that cries out Fierce Protector whenever she is in danger.

Lucy gets that, and she grabs onto his jacket with one hand, almost pulling him closer to her.

"Alright, now is not the time to talk about this-"

It's easier for him to change the subject on her than to acknowledge how much they both need to have this conversation at some point. They've been talking around it and avoiding it.

It has to be addressed at some point. There is no way forward without it.

"If you're good, I'm good." "I'm good." "Good."

I'm having a bit of a Court Jester moment, here, and it's cracking me up. "Get it?" "Got it." "Good."

But also, "Good" is kind of their word. Tim used it post-DOD with her in the workout room, and again when he was happy she didn't change her mind about dating him.

I don't know who made the choice—whether it was a writing thing, first, or an actor choice in the moment, but it somehow makes it more personal and lived-in. And I love that.

"Lock the door first."

Did they just.... have sex in there? Oh my GOSH they pulled a Java!

But what I really love about this is how it feels like a callback to 5x01 and the airplane bathroom. Not only is it a small space where they are covertly meeting to discuss the mission, but it's also a parallel to Lucy needing grounding and Tim being the one to do it.

In 5x01, Lucy was shaken by the Rosalind news. She made an excuse to kiss Tim, to wrap herself in a moment that was a release. Remember Isabel talking about how great it was to unwind in that hotel room and not be on guard for a bit?

Lucy needs this. She needs to be with Tim and wrap herself in the life they are building. Even if it's only a little while, it's going to sustain her while she's pretending while thinking on three levels to not get killed.

He grounds her when she's flailing. And she envelopes him when he's crumbling. Tim and Lucy have built a relationship of mutual respect, love, and protection. And, damn, is it great to get to see it on-screen.

"Miss you." "Getting coffee. 1 Minute." "911."

Shit. Of course this is the one moment when something goes down.

But I love the fact that Lucy was having Laundry Room Sex less than 12 hours earlier and she's already texting her boyfriend because she misses him. No wonder he practically lives at her place, already.

Also, now we know she finally has him listed as "Tim" in her phone. Now, he was "Tim" at the end of S4E1, but I think that was an oversight. So, officially we've graduated to first names.

"Hey. Why are you here?"

Oh, GPS tracking, how I hate thee in real life and love thee on TV.

"You got ten seconds to convince me you're not a cop."

Annnnd, there it is. This guy's not a moron. This isn't his first rodeo. And now he has a gun trained on our girl.

"I'm not a cop I... " "Then how the hell did you know they were coming." "A police scanner app. I can show you."

Well. Done. There are folks in my area who have scanner apps and are constantly posting things online.

I sometimes forget about it because when I worked in a newsroom, we had a guy whose whole job was to listen to the scanner. Still boggles my mind anyone can do it these days!

And Lucy. Gets. Him. Monologuing. And it's beautiful. Lessor actors would have bungled it, but Michael Rooker is a bloody master of the craft, and Melissa O'Neil holds her own opposite him, which adds such richness.

Before we move on, I have to pause and just fawn over Michael Rooker a bit. He's just such a gem of an actor, and that whole interaction there between Lucy and Frank is elevated by his presence.

He pours so much life into a character we've barely known five minutes.

I met him once upon a time. My mother was the Key Makeup Artist on a movie called Deceiver. While I was visiting Mom on-set, I had the opportunity to run lines with him.

He treated me like a working actor, which was crazy to a kid like me.

I remember him running me through this one line over and over. It was a three-word line (which of course I can't remember), but he was trying to teach me how inflection and intention can completely change the meaning of a line.

I carried that with me, and applied it to my acting, writing, and VO work the rest of my life.

My mom said he told her that I acted like a pro. And that's just so bloody special to me. I never had the body or the face for the big time, ya know? But, an actor I admire thought I had the chops. And that's super cool.

"Where are you?" "I'm outside the cover apartment. Frank just dropped me off."

One thing that is a minor thing, but really cracks me up about their dialogue is when they see each other in person, there's almost always a "hey" breathed under their breathe. On the phone, they just get to the point. It's so minor, but it makes me smile.

"I think this op is done." "You sure? " "Yeah. I mean, he's got no crew, no product. It's over." "That's too bad." "Why?" "I was looking forward to another laundry room hookup."

You. Idiots. And I say that with all love! It's so nice to see these two really enjoying their relationship, dagnabbit.

"I need a big meal, a hot bath, and some quality sexy time and then I'm gonna sleep for 24 hours."

Lucy runs her hands down his stomach, but Tim's quick to grab her hands. He rubs her arm, as though reminding himself that she's real.

"What what is that? What? " I just... Isabel used to always crash after a long term assignment. It took her months to come back to life."

I have three children. The first two are twins. And they were born just a few months after my best friend had her first. Her second child was born about six months before my third child.

Yes, I have a point. Gimme a second.

I have dealt with two very different children from day one. I don't know what it is to be the mother of a single child. That was never my reality.

But my bestie was shocked by how different her second child was compared to her first. She'd only known one thing for three years, so she assumed that's how all babies would be.

It was simply lack of experience that led her to lean into her previous understanding thinking it was all she needed. That's Tim, here.

He knows that Lucy is different... but they've never done this before. He's never been the one she came home to after a UC assignment.

He's not equating everything to Isabel because he thinks Lucy is Isabel, but because he has no comparisons. Tim and Lucy are going to build that together, yes, but he honestly doesn't know how to do that.

We know that Isabel shut him out. Tim is terrified Lucy will do the same, even though he hasn't verbalized it... yet.

"You know what, I do have to come clean about something, though. I know I made you a promise to not watch Top Chef without me but I couldn't wait. I'm sorry." "Bad girlfriend." "No! No. I'm sorry." "Horrible!"

I'm sheepishly hiding my face because I'm so Lucy in this moment. My on-screen bestie and I have way too much in common.

Also, we needed that bit of levity to break up the scene. Because it's about to get heavy.

"So... Why didn't you tell me you almost died chasing down the shooter at the restaurant?" "Because I didn't. Who told you?"

It's shocking Lucy thought she would ever be able to keep the Five Player Trade quiet considering how quickly gossip moves through that station. Gee wiz!

"The gun was empty, right? So this is much ado about nothing."

A Shakespeare reference? Now I know our girl's been rubbing off on her man.

"Besides I know for a fact you don't tell me everything that happens when you're undercover." "No. you know for a fact that Isabel didn't. If this is gonna between us I need to know you can see the difference."

Here we go. They are finally having the conversation they need to have. Tim told Isabel that Lucy was different. We know he knows it. But he has to believe it, too.

"... listen, I need you to take it seriously if I ever sound the alarm about something. Otherwise the pain of what I went through would have been for nothing. And I can't lose you the way I lost her.

That "for nothing" is coming back around. It can't be for nothing.

And he can't lose her. He survived losing Isabel. Yes, it broke him. It broke him for a long time. But I don't know if he'd ever recover from losing Lucy. True love can have that effect.

"You won't. I'll walk away before it gets close to anything like that. Okay? I promise."

There we go. This was the piece Lucy was missing last week when she tried to broach the subject. She approached it as though it was something he needed to deal with. But relationships only work when we get through together.

This conversation doesn't make everything all better. They are still going to face obstacles and issues. But they are finally being open and honest in both directions about Lucy doing UC.

Tim and Lucy embrace, but this is different than any of their other hugs, and I wonder if it's intentional. Tim has always nestled into her right shoulder. Lucy usually has one arm up and one down.

This time, she almost scoops in underneath as he wraps both arms around her. She's nestled in his wings as he's held up by her strength.

"We can build a house away from here," the song says. And they could. They could both walk away. But we've established that this is the life they love, dangerous as it is.

And the more they fall in love, the more they both have something worst living for. And that's terrifying.

Have you ever been in love? The kind of love that reciprocates and grows? It's amazing. I've only experienced it once, with the love of my life. It's difficult, at times, but it's also rewarding.

And it amplifies the big stuff. Because you're now a part of something so much bigger than the individual. And for Tim and Lucy, putting their lives on the line means there's someone who will be destroyed if they die.

There's all the more reason to live, but that can't get into the decision-making process in the moment. "You have to keep your head in the game," Tim has said often.

Love conquers all, right? Sometimes, it merely complicates.

I'm grateful for this episode. The pacing and directing were so on-point all around, and I felt like all the on-screen characters had moments to shine without it feeling over-bloated. Just beautifully done all-around.

Thank you for reading, loves. This week has been a hard one in my life as I drove back to Wilmington to say what may be my last goodbyes to one of my best friends who I've known since we were 11. Cancer is the B-word.

Cherish the ones you love. Tell them often that you care. Make memories. Build dreams. Chase hope. Live this life, dagnabbit. I believe in you.

[dandylovesturtles]

*wheelchair annon rolls in*

Does Leo ever have successive days of being able to do things he hasn't for a while, of feeling better and more capable and more HIMSELF, only to have it all seemingly snatched away by the successive BAD days that follow like dark clouds, snatching away his autonomy and his thinking and his capability and his good mood like its all a big joke? How does he deal with it? (Overdoing it on good days very often leads to this, for me. It does get easier to deal with with time, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.) (Sorry about the gloomy question. I was going to ask something else but I have been fighting a migraine all day... you can probably guess why lol.) *wheelchair annon rolls out*

Hi wheelchair anon! I'm so sorry to hear about your migraine :( I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this!

I've actually been thinking a lot about Leo's good days vs the bad ones since the last time you sent an ask so this is good timing haha. For this ask everything I'm going to talk about is after Leo has recovered (as much as he's going to) and gotten his powers back - obviously things are a lot more shaky earlier on in his journey.

Even on good days Leo can't really get around like he did before (he's not going to be jumping across rooftops or trying the 1440 off the halfpipe), but he can walk around pretty good for basic daily life stuff around the lair and even do a few of the physical things he used to, like shooting hoops or riding on his skateboard (though, he doesn't do tricks, and they make him wear a helmet and knee/elbow pads because they don't want to risk him breaking anything). I was talking on discord too about how Leo gets into gliding around after his brothers to film them doing tricks, then he and Mikey edit the footage with old 90s skateboard video aesthetics. And while he doesn't go on patrol with his brothers (monitoring them from his command center instead), he joins them on planned missions or can portal in to join them in a fight (though he still mostly runs support and doesn't often trade direct blows with anyone). It helps that Donnie can make temporary construct versions of virtually any of his mobility aids on the fly if Leo joins them on a mission and ends up needing something immediately that he didn't or couldn't bring with him (Leo complains about the purple every time, it's a running gag).

So yeah, on good days Leo usually feels pretty great, and much more like himself, and it definitely improves his mood every time! But that also means when he gets a good day, especially early on, he wants to go go go and do do do, enjoy all the things he doesn't have the energy for or is in too much pain to do on his bad days. And this definitely means he overdoes it, especially in the beginning. But even when he's careful, bad days still hit him and it sucks every time.

On Leo's bad days he usually sticks with his wheelchair even in the lair, sometimes using his walker instead. He also makes liberal use of his portals if he's really feeling drained. How much he can do depends on the day, and usually how much he did the day before.

On his very worst days, especially ones coming after a string of good days where he got to do a lot, Leo can get really depressed and not even want to get out of bed. Usually his family at least encourages him to get up, take a shower, brush his teeth, sit with them, do things other than lay in his bed because they know it will make him feel better, even if he doesn't really want to do it. But then there are days he doesn't even get that far. Days like that make him pretty miserable. It feels like his body betrayed him all over again, and is a reminder that the rest of his life is going to be up and down like this. And he hates how much help he needs on days like that, especially coming off days where he doesn't really need help much at all. He has to start asking for it again and it embarrasses him.

He'll learn to deal with it in more mentally healthy ways over time as he gains better coping mechanisms; he'll never be fully okay with it, like you said it will always hurt, but over time not all his bad days come with a complete mental health nosedive. He has days where he feels bad physically but is still able to enjoy the company of his family and friends or enjoy some Lou Jitsu movies or what have you. He's always annoyed that he can't fully predict how he's going to feel in advance, even as he gets older and more experienced, but over time he'll have fewer "fully depressed laying in bed" days (though still some of those, and some "physically too pained to move" days as well).

And of course no matter how he's feeling on any given day, his family is always sure to remind him that they love him no matter what. <3

Like I said, I hope you feel better when you read this, anon. Thanks as always for the ask! I hope I answered it alright.

[shytastemakerthing]

hi there, happy saturdayi hope you're doing well! if it's alright, i'd love a romantic TWST matchup. here's some info about me! physical appearance: tan skin; big, brown eyes that people describe as doll-like or doelike; flat, button nose; full, pouty lips; chubby cheeks; very short (4'10) but thicc LMAOOOO. cutie with a booty, all thighs no lies, that sort of thing. so maybe that compensates for my height. i also have several tattoos - one of a snake, one of a goat skull, one of sailor saturn's glaive just to name the bigger pieces. personality: very empathetic ENTP. the friend everyone goes to for advice or reassurance. i'm in the process of getting licensed as a therapist, so i'd like to think i'm very kind and a good listener. i love getting to know people. tattoos aside, i also have a very 'friendly' appearance given my big eyes and round face, so people tend to approach me fairly easily. outside of that, though, i'm very crafty. mischievous, witty, coy, and kind of a schemer. people tend to underestimate my intelligence because of my profession, my height, and my 'innocent' looking appearance, but i mean, every rose has its thorn or how ever the saying goes. hobbies: kind of a jack-of-all-trades! writing, music, tarot readings, cooking, gaming, hiking, wire-wrapping, dancing, writing code, swimming. what i'm like in a relationship: ride or die, all or nothing. intense. devoted and loyal. i might come across as flirty or unserious just based on my appearance/surface-level interactions, but in all actuality, i understand just how significant romantic relationships are and am always willing to do the necessary work to keep one alive. sacrifice was a huge part of my life growing up, so i'm not afraid to compromise but also maintain healthy boundaries. i'd say my love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation. thank you in advance for your time! looking forward to what you have in mind!

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I hope that you enjoy it! Have a wonderful day!

Request type: Twisted Wonderland Match-Up

I match you with.........

Jack Howl

Meet the ultimate ride or die when it comes to a relationship

Wolves are known to mate for life, so when you two are officially together, that is something that he takes very seriously, there would be no other

Only you for the rest of his life

He just screams as someone who would give wonderful acts of service

Anything that helps you throughout your day

Aside from anything in the realm of working together in a relationship (ie. laundry, normal clean up, cooking, etc.)

Has it been too long of a day and you are simply too tired to properly have a shower and clean up? He has your back

He grew up with Vil and the two are good friends, he knows the ropes

Washing your hair and body away from the stress of the day, working through your skincare, the whole nine yards

That is just one of the many things he will do for you

If you cook something for this man, his tail will be wagging so fast and for once, he doesn't try to hide it. Especially if it's his favorite meal, you will see that flustered face of his

It was your friendly demeanor that drew him to you

Seeing you so helpful of other students who were in the school, how they could easily come to you, it was no wonder that he would soon be one of said students

In the end, he isn't complaining. Had he known that his life would have been this much better with you at his side, he would have come to you so much sooner

Thank you so much for your request!

[bokutosbiceps]

Hello love! Hope all is well 😁 I'm not sure if you feel comfortable writing this, but a scenario where Midorima's gf is getting abused at home and she doesn't know how to tell him but maybe Takao assumes something is going on?

you’re safe with me

midorima shintarou x f!reader | angst + fluff | words

warnings: mentions of physical/psychological abuse, depression, anxiety, mild violence

a/n: this is the 2nd request i've gotten about abuse in like less than a week 😔 are y'all okay ? you can talk to me about anythingggg !! also,, this got really long + self indulgent, i hope you enjoy 💕

characters can be aged up to 18+ if reader is 18+, otherwise, no smut so minors feel free to interact

Kazunari wrung his fingers as he paced in his room, unsure of exactly what to do. He had just gotten off the phone with you. You, who were sobbing and telling Kazunari that your mother was after you again. After soothing you as best he could, he got you to open up and tell him what had happened. 

You knew that your mother had taken a strong liking to Shintarou. She had said that he reminded her of your father back in the day, but now your father was gone and your mother was bitter. She couldn't stand to see you so happy when she was in so much pain. This, however, did not excuse her from treating you the way she did.

You had come home late after a night out with Shintarou and were feeling content. You explained that you had told your mother of your plans and she didn't seem to have any issues with it. She had actually told you to go have fun and stay out past your curfew if you wanted to. But when you got home, she was waiting up for you, furious. She immediately began to scream at you, telling you how inconsiderate you were, how you were a bitch, and how she wished she would have never given birth to such a bitch like you.

When you started to recount the physical abuse that your mother had imposed on you, Kazunari stopped you, unsure if he could stomach any more.

“Why don’t you tell Shin-chan what’s happening? Of course, I’m your friend and I care about you, but I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know. I know he would really appreciate knowing. He could probably help you more than I can.” Kazunari had said slowly, trying to make sure his best intentions came across.

He knew that Shintarou would be both hurt and furious to find out you’d been keeping this from him. It had been going on for far too long, anyways, to continue hiding this from him. He was your boyfriend and he loved you—so why did you feel so afraid to tell him?

You had sighed. “I really want to. But…I don't know. Part of me feels like I’m just complaining about it, and the other part of me feels like he wouldn't want to be involved with someone who has such an unstable family.” You sniffled. “I mean, you know, Kazu! The Midorima’s are practically perfect. Why would Shintarou want to be involved in my family drama?”

Kazunari didn't want to speak for Shintarou, so he didn't. He just told you that he thought you should tell him, solely because Shintarou cares about you more than anyone else. You had ended the phone call with a small chuckle, that had worried Kazunari, because why would you be laughing in a situation like this?

Now, he's seriously debating whether or not he should tell Shintarou what happened. He glanced at the time, one in the morning. No doubt, Shintarou would be in bed by now.

In an instant, acting on his impulse for your well being, Kazunari pressed the little phone icon next to Shintarou’s name. He tapped his foot impatiently while he listened to the monotonous ring, anxiously waiting for Shintarou to pick up. He didn't. So, he called again. And again. Four times he called, until an extremely annoyed Shintarou picked up.

“Takao, you better have a good reason for calling me four times at—” Shintarou brought the phone away from his ear to check the time, “one in the morning, nanodayo.”

“Shin-chan!” Kazunari felt his anxiety evaporate after finally getting a hold of him. It returned just as quickly though, once he realized the hardest part was not done yet. His tone got more serious. “I have to tell you something.”

The lack of the usual lilt in Kazunari’s voice made Shintarou straighten up. He'd only ever heard Kazunari be serious on a few occasions, so he knew this must be real. “Well, out with it.” Shintarou fidgeted with the hem of his nightshirt.

“It’s about y/n.” Kazunari sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “She…she's been having a hard time.” Shintarou’s silence signaled Kazunari to continue. He told Shintarou of how your mother had been beating you, shouting at you, and how you were afraid to tell him.

“Why wouldn't she tell me?” Shintarou’s soft voice startled Kazunari. He had never heard Shintarou’s tone reach that level of softness. He didn't even know it was possible.

“She believes that you wouldn't want to be involved in her family drama. I told her you care about her, but that's all I said. I think she needs to hear that from you.” Kazunari huffed. He felt better after he had looped Shintarou in on what was happening, but he still felt bad that he had gone against your wishes. It’s for her own good, though, he reasoned with himself.

A couple of seconds of silence followed. Kazunari got nervous. What was Shintarou thinking? How did he feel? Would he be mad at you and him for keeping these secrets?

After more silence, Shintarou finally spoke. “I’m going to go check on y/n.” 

Kazunari’s eyes widened. He leapt up from where he was sitting on the floor of his room. “It’s almost two in the morning!”

“I won't be able to rest until I know she's okay.” Shintarou stood beside his bed and folded the sheets back over neatly. He walked over to his closet and pulled out joggers and a sweatshirt. He noticed his fingers were trembling.

“I understand that but shouldn't you deal with this after some rest?” Kazunari began to pace again.

“You're the one who decided to call me at one in the morning, nanodayo. Four times, I might add.” Shintarou quipped. Kazunari realized he was right and stayed silent, listening to the rustle of clothes as Shintarou got dressed.

“Sorry, Shin-chan. I just felt bad keeping it from you, and I was worried about y/n.”

Kazunari could hear the jingle of keys and shutting of doors. He heard the wind against the receiver of Shintarou’s phone, signifying he had made it outside. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kazunari asked, breaking the tense silence.

“No, Takao, you’ve done enough.” Kazunari immediately felt bad. He'd probably ruined Shintarou’s night. He was about to apologize when Shintarou spoke up again. “Thank you.”

Kazunari smiled at his tsundere friend’s forced thanks. But he knew he meant it. He could tell. “You’re welcome, Shin-chan. Please let me know if y/n’s okay.”

Shintarou grunted in response and hung up so he could start running to your house. It wasn't that far, just a ten minute walk, so that would make it a four or five minute run, right? However, Shintarou felt like it took hours to reach your front door. He had never been so worried about anything in his whole life. 

Images of you with bruises and cuts and a tear stained face flashed in his mind as he knocked on your front door. He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited. He raised his hand to knock again but was incredibly relieved when he heard the door being unlocked, then his uneasy feeling settled back into his stomach.

“Oh, Shintarou-chan!” Your mother beamed at him. “It’s pretty late, what are you doing here? An excellent young boy like you needs his rest.”

“I’m here to check on y/n.” Shintarou said, anger bubbling up inside of him. Seeing your mother standing there, acting like she hadn’t just ruined the beautiful night that you and him had just shared, made him furious. He tried to hide it, though, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“She’s sleeping, so I’m afraid you can’t see her right now.” Your mother’s eyes began to dart around nervously, hoping that Shintarou wouldn’t insist on seeing you. He’d see the redness and swelling of the cheek that she had slapped just hours earlier. He’d see the fresh, red cut from where your mother had dug her nails into your arm. He’d see your tear stained face. 

“Please, I insist.” Shintarou bowed politely before pushing past your mother into your house. He had never blatantly respected his elders, but in this moment, he didn’t care. Your mother did not deserve any respect—she had hurt you. That was unforgivable.

Shintarou didn’t hear the protests and babbles of your mother as he made his way to your room and knocked on the door before deciding to just open the door. He couldn’t wait another second of not seeing you. 

Your room was dark and you were in bed, turned on your side away from him. He could tell you were awake, though, because he could see your thumb scrolling on your phone and hear music overflowing from your headphones. He walked in and shut the door behind him, locking it, so that your mother couldn’t intrude. He could hear her wailing outside the door, but still decided to ignore it. What an unstable woman. 

He approached your bed and lightly touched your shoulder, causing you to jump up and cower in fear. His heart ached at your reaction to being touched. You had never been like that with him, you must’ve thought that he was actually your mother coming back to harass you.

You relaxed once you realized it was your boyfriend. “Shin? What are you doing here?”

“I-I came to check on you.” Shintarou took a deep breath. “Takao told me everything.” 

Your bottom lip wobbled as Shintarou told you everything that Kazunari had said. You weren’t mad at Kazunari at all, you were actually grateful that someone was able to tell Shintarou that you needed help. You didn’t want him to think you were weak, or a complainer. You collapsed to the floor in relief, sobs wracking your body. 

Shintarou moved over to you and wrapped you up in his arms, gently bringing your head to rest on his shoulder and stroking your hair as you sobbed.

“You are so brave, love. I can understand why you didn’t want to tell me anything, but just know, I am always here for you. No matter what.” Shintarou let out a dry chuckle. “That’s why I’m here at two in the morning.” 

You sniffled against Shintarou’s sweatshirt, muttering a small but sincere thank you. He just squeezed you tighter and held for a moment, letting you cry your heart out as much as you needed. But he desperately wanted to make sure you were okay. 

“Can I see you?” Shintarou asked softly, using one of his hands to reach to your bedside lamp and turn it on. You hesitated but eventually backed away from his shoulder. Shintarou felt his breath get caught in his throat as he finally got a look at your face.

He saw a bruise forming over your right cheek, as well as a long and fresh cut along your neck. He clenched his jaw as even more rage welled up inside of him. He had never wanted to commit an act of violence against another human being, but your mother would have been an exception to him at the moment. He decided to focus back on you.

“Does it hurt?” Shintarou asked softly, reaching up to lightly graze your cheek. You winced a little bit, causing him to draw his hand back.

“Not anymore. Just kind of stings when you touch it.” You offered him a reassuring smile. Shintarou stared at you for another moment or two before abruptly standing up and moving to your closet, throwing it open.

“Pack what you need, you’re leaving this place.”

“What?” You stood to approach him and he turned to you, his face slightly red with adrenaline. 

“You’re staying with me for a while.” Shintarou rummaged through your closet for a duffle bag or suitcase, and upon finding a small suitcase, brought it out and placed it on your bed.

“Shin, I can’t just leave!” You protested, watching as he opened the suitcase to prepare it to be filled.

“Yes, you can, nanodayo. You’re not safe here. Either you’re coming with me or I’m calling the authorities on your mother.”

Even though you know she’d deserve it, you didn’t want that for your mother. You sighed in defeat. You knew you couldn’t continue to take your mother’s abuse. Even if you were her daughter, you didn’t deserve this. You moved to the closet and began to take out some clothes that you wore often.

“We can go shopping for toiletries tomorrow, just clothes and underwear.” Shintarou instructed. Your hesitancy left your body as you continued to pack, feeling excited and relieved to finally be leaving this place for a while. Once you were packed, Shintarou unlocked your door and stepped out into the hallway, making sure that your mother was not around. Once he decided it was safe, he grabbed you by the hand and ran out of your house with you, not bothering to close the front door behind the two of you.

You both ran until you were down the street and around the corner, far enough away that your mother wouldn’t be able to see. You let go of Shintarou’s hand and stood still to catch your breath, leaning on Shintarou as he wrapped an arm around you.

You felt your eyes begin to well with tears again. You couldn’t believe that you had just run away. Even more, you couldn’t believe that your prim and proper boyfriend had just helped you. You dropped your suitcase and threw your arms around Shintarou’s neck, letting yourself cry into his shoulder once again.

“Thank you, Shin.” You choked out. “I love you.” 

Shintarou smiled softly and held you firmly, certain that he would never let you go again. “Of course, y/n. You’re safe with me.”

[thyandrawrites]

Being fully honest Dabi coming to Endv after being ignored yet again doesn't change the fact that he has been ignored yet again. Even now endv has his eyes on afo and I can't see it changing

Nah, I get that. I feel the same. To be honest I see this as another set up for failure. So far the heroes have consistently been making the wrong choices and letting things escalate instead of trying better ways of facing their opponents.

I didn't wanna say it in case I jinxed it with my prediction, but if we are to take Hawks and Mic's reactions as the standard for how the old gen will continue to act moving forward, then I'm expecting Enji to be much the same. He's gonna fight Touya like a villain who's too far gone. Possibly he'll even echo his colleagues and try to protect Touya's idealized memory by killing the man his son has become.

I might be wrong about this of course... But looking back at Enji's internal narration during the Central Hospital chapters and his thoughts as he fought AFO... He's still nowhere near recognizing that Dabi and Touya are the same person.

Remember this line?

Well, here's some translation trivia. In japanese he's only calling him a mass murderer (大量殺人者). The only reason why we know that he's even talking about Touya and not any other PLF villain is because the furigana (the little reading on the right of the aforementioned kanji string above) tells us he's referring to his son (むすこ). Stuff like this is hard to translate because English doesn't have an organic way to do the same kind of word play, so the only way to get across both definitions is to include them both in the line itself, like the character is uttering them at once. The famous "a dance with your son, here in hell" was another example of Hori using furigana that doesn't match with the kanji they're paired with, to get across a double meaning. But for the sake of understanding Enji's mentality, I'd like to stress that he sees Dabi first and foremost as a "mass murderer". Only incidentally, like an afterthought, as his son. You'll also notice how in that same scene he's thinking about "fighting him". Not reuniting, not seeing how he's doing. Fighting. Like he would any other villain, because to him this is still a matter to be tackled as a hero and not a father.

Point is, Enji still doesn't fully recognize Touya in Dabi.

This is how he pictures him in his mind's eye. This is not by far a flattering image. For all that Enji says that he recognizes the wrongs he did to Touya, the image he conjures when he thinks of him is not that of a man falling apart from the weight of unaddressed trauma and desperation. He sees a monster, grinning maniacally, reveling in Enji's anguish with sadistic glee. This is not the son he abused, over and over, until he had an emotional breakdown and lost himself. This is Enji picturing an enemy, someone not to feel any sympathy for. Someone whose most prominent feature is his creepy grinning mouth, open wide as if ready to devour everything Enji's been working for all these years.

Even in his thoughts, he keeps referring to Dabi as an abstract evil rather than a person:

He's the physical manifestation of Enji's "mistakes", not his son. Not the boy he said he missed so dearly he hoped he could get a second chance with.

Touya is Othered as an abstract being, the sum of every flaw Enji possesses but never wanted to acknowledge.

Now compare that to how he saw Touya as an idealized martyr:

Here Touya is remembered as a good kid, not through the distorted lenses above, because up until this moment he's still a "good victim". Someone who died before he could become an obstacle, and as such still someone who Enji treats with humanity. He brings offer to his altar and manifests "regret" over his premature death, because this Touya is easy to mourn. After all, with Touya gone, who's gonna complain about Enji using his memory as a justification for the continued abuse of Shouto and the rest of the family?

Certainly not Touya. The dead are the perfect people to idealize because they can no longer fight for their rights as a living person would. And Enji clearly knows this. He obviously ignores how training Shouto and punching him so hard he pukes goes directly against everything Touya ever wanted because Touya's wishes are simply no longer part of the equation. Touya is no longer a person but just a a cause that Enji needs to honor (arbitrarily, and with even more abuse than before).

But when Touya comes back, and suddenly he's a person with agency once again and not just an idealized memory anymore...

Suddenly, he becomes "a mass murderer".

So... No, I'm not really expecting Enji to turn around and act like a good dad just because Dabi showed up. As you said, Dabi chasing him down doesn't make Enji any less neglectful or any less at fault, and if Horikoshi knows what he's doing, he's probably about to make him do something extremely uncalled for and totally catered to himself, as Enji's actions so far have only been shielding his own ego from any genuine remorse