#I'm also just have a lot of breakdowns as I consider a lot of new ways of thinking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mvjerbs · 11 months ago

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Tried writing again but I'm still shit at it. Still hope you enjoy it though. “Out of all the things I had left in the stadium, I left my phone. Great job Ken! Great job.” Kenji said in an annoyed tone as he drives through the streets back to the stadium.

“Is it still in the locker room Mina?” Kenji asks.

“Yes Ken, your phone’s location has not changed for the past few minutes. It is still there” Mina answered.

“Well, at least no one tried to take it away” Kenji sighed before speeding up. He wants to be at home with Emi soon.

Kenji arrives and immediately headed for the locker rooms, as he got in he opened his locker where he found his phone in the exact same place Mina located it.

“Alright, time to finally head back” Kenji said. He closed his locker and was about to leave when he suddenly hears something. Kenji stopped for a moment to listen, the stadium was thankfully quiet around the time so sound echoed through the hall. It was a little difficult to hear but it sounded like… grunting? Curious, Kenji decided to investigate and followed the source of the noise. As he got closer, the noises became louder as well as the sound of curses and something hitting the ground. He eventually reached the field and discovers the source of the noise. It was Juro Agamatsu, his rival, it seems like he was practicing his pitches. Kenji watched as Juro throws another ball before grunting in frustration and picking up another ball. Confused, Kenji squints to see what Juro was aiming at. It was a bottle, it was placed on top of a chair. It seemed like he was missing all of his pitches with the other baseballs lying around not too far from the target.

Kenji turns to Juro who takes position and aims once again only to miss. “DAMN IT” He yelled out as he grabs another ball.

“C’mon Juro focus. FOCUS.” He said to himself before throwing another ball and missing again.

“You’re not becoming worse, you have to prove him wrong.” He muttered, walking over to pick up two balls and taking position again.

“Focus, Focus!” He misses again. With the last ball in his hand he positions himself once more, aimed at the bottle and…..he missed.

Juro let out a frustrated yell as he lashes his anger out on the basket of baseballs that are now scattered around him. This scene reminded Kenji of himself when he was still new, it made him internally cringe and feel bad for his rival. Then Juro stopped, Kenji watched in worry as he wondered what was going on. Then, he heard it. It was quiet at first but it slowly got louder.

Juro was crying.

Kenji never expected to see the day that his rival would breakdown, and yet there he was sobbing. Kenji sensed the vulnerability of the situation and decide to leave to respect the man’s privacy and give him space. As Kenji walks away, he hears Juro grunting and throwing once more, it seemed like he was practicing through his breakdown. Kenji stops for a moment, feeling bad for the Pitcher before deciding to turn around and help the poor man out.

Kenji stood by the side watching as he thinks about how to approach Juro in his vulnerable state.

‘Should he call out to him? Should he just wait for the right moment to let him know of his presence? WHAT SHOULD I DO?’ Kenji was torn, he wasn’t what to do but settled on letting his presence be known. Kenji takes a deep breath steps out of his hiding stop, only to end up hitting his phone on the wall he hid from and dropping it which created a lot of noise.

Kenji winced, that was not a good start. He slowly opened his eyes and lifted up his head to meet Juro’s surprised face staring back at him. They stared at each other for a few moments before Juro’s face shifted to anger.

“What are you doing here Sato. Eavesdropping on people now? That’s pretty low even for someone like you don’t you think?” Juro said, immediately changing his personality as if his break down never happened. Kenji was impressed but also worried considering how well he immediately changed.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping you Juro. I just happened to be around that’s all.” Kenji said, holding back the urge to reply with a snarky remark.

“Hah! Yeah right.” Juro scoffed, picking another ball off the ground.

“Mr. ‘I’m-so-much-better’ Sato, is being such a nic-“ Juro was cut off when Kenji raised his hand, signaling him to stop.

“Timeout.” Kenji said. Juro furrowed his eye brows in confusion.

“Just- can we just pause the trash talking for now? I don’t think we both are in the mood for that” Kenji explained. Juro looked at him in surprise. They were silent for a moment, before Juro scoffed, silently obliging to the request and returning to his practice.

Kenji was surprised to say the least, he was expecting some insult or comeback instead of obedience, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Kenji went over and sat on a chair as he watched Juro practice. He tries to aim for the bottle once again but fails and he yells in frustration. “ Hey uh. How about a little break huh?” Kenji nervously asked, he isn’t sure how to start a conversation with Juro but he hoped that was good enough.

“I don’t need a break. I need to practice. And don’t talk to me, I’m trying to focus.” Juro answered coldly. Welp, looks like it didn’t.

“Wow, ok Mr. push over. I was just trying to help” Kenji replied in an annoyed tone.

“Yeah, well guess what? I don’t need help. I’ve reached this far without it and it’s too late to ask for it.” Answered Juro as he picks up another ball. ‘Great, this guy is hardheaded.’ Kenji thought, suppressing the urge to throw an insult at the man before trying again.

“Listen, I know how you feel-“ Kenji starts when he was cut off by Juro’s sarcastic laugh.

“Oh really? Do you now?” Juro said, turning to face Kenji with anger evident on his face.

“Why don’t you tell me then huh?” he says as he slowly makes his way to Kenji. Kenji sensed the incoming fight but remained seated as Juro loomed over him.

“Did you go through doubt? That you’re suddenly terrible at something that you thought you believed you were good at? Or are you just saying that just to get me to open up, Huh? Tell me Sato, TELL ME!” Juro asked, his voice getting louder with each question, but so does Kenji’s anger.

“Yes Agamatsu, YES! I know how you feel because I went through the same frustrations as you!” Kenji snapped back as he stood up. Juro was taken back. He did push the man’s buttons and he got the expected result, but something tells him this was real.

“I was literally struggling in my first season here. It even got to the point where my coach was going to trade me off to another team! Years being called the best player, and I was suddenly told to be traded and that hurt me!” Kenji vented. He didn’t plan to do that and was hoping he could’ve kept that event a secret, then he saw Juro’s shocked expression and his lack of response. It was too late to take it back, might as well just continue. Kenji took a deep breath and let out a sigh, calming down his anger.

“I know how you feel, because I acted the same way you did earlier.” He explained. He looked at Juro and noticed the anger that was slowly disappearing as well. They both stood there in silence for a moment.

‘So much for being the bigger person.’ Kenji thought, he was about to leave when Juro moved, grabbed a water bottle and sat down. Kenji watched him the whole time, wondering what he has in mind. None of them spoke for 3 grueling long minutes before Juro spoke.

“You know, now that I think about it….. You were pretty terrible back then.” Juro said. Kenji scoffed at the memory, sitting back down on the chair he sat earlier.

“Yeah, I was.” Kenji agreed.

“So… How did you do it? How did you over come it?” Juro asked. Kenji paused for a moment, thinking on how to explain the events he experienced without revealing that he is currently taking care of a kaiju baby before speaking.

“ I took a step back and asked for help.” He answered. Juro turned to face Kenji as he listens with interest.

“The day when I had my breakdown, I decided to call my friend and my dad to talk to. They gave me advices and offered to help. I was like you back then. I felt like I could manage on my own and refused the help. I had to learn the hard way and eventually got better.” Kenji continues, smiling fondly at the memories that came to his mind.

“Doing things through frustration will only cloud your focus. So take a step back, talk to others and don’t be afraid to ask for help.” Kenji explained. He looked up to face Juro with a soft and friendly smile. Juro stared back at him, contemplating on what Kenji had said before letting out a sigh.

“Alright, I’ll take your advice” Juro said, leaning back on his chair.

“So tell me, what are you really doing here at this time?” He asked once more. Raising a brow he faced Kenji.

“I told you, I left my phone back at my locker and I went back to grab it.” Kenji answered.

“Really? Out of all the things you left, you left your phone?” Juro asked, a smirk forming on his lips as he looks at Kenji.

“Ugh, I don’t need to hear this right now.” Groaned Kenji as he buried his face into his hands, this earned a laughter from Juro. Both continued to talk, each moment spent learning about the other and discovering some things that would have never been known from their rivalry.

“So you practice here every after game?” Kenji asked.

“Not really, I have a favorite place to practice. Its nice and quiet. I would practice there for hours under the sun. Developed a sweet tan from it too.” Juro said, lifting up one of his sleeve to reveal the tan line he developed all while playfully flexing his arm.

“That sounds narcissistic.” Kenji commented, laughing when Juro gave him an offended look.

“I believe its called being confident.” Juro replies back. Huffing in fake annoyance only to smile as Kenji continues to laugh.

“So… you feeling better?” Kenji asked, wiping a tear from his eyes after he had calmed down from his laughter.

“Honestly, yeah. I do.” Juro admits with a smile which Kenji returns.

“You wanna try and practice again?” Kenji suggests. He picks up a ball from the ground and hands it to Juro who accepts the ball. Kenji watched as Juro stood and walked over to the spot where he practiced. Juro clasped the ball in his hand as he stares at the bottle, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He raised his leg and charged up his pitch. Juro opened his eyes and in one swift motion, threw the ball and...He did it. He managed to his the bottle. Juro let out an estatic roar as he celebrates the success, Kenji joins in as he cheered from the side.

“There we go! That was good! Always wondered how you do those throws.” Kenji said as he walks over to where Juro was.

“When your dad sees your potential at something he’s passionate about, he forces you to get better at it.”

“Damn, he must be really supportive to get you to be this far.”

“Yeah…totally.” Juro answered with a slight shift in his tone. Kenji noticed the slight change in emotion, but before he could say anuthing Juro decided to change the topic.

“But you are a different type of impressive too you know. People always say its hard to see any of my pitches, but you could easily hit mine whenever you up against me.” Juro said, turning to Kenji with an impressed smile.

“Some techniques that I learned. Its why I’m the ‘Best Living Player’.” Kenji shrugged with a smug smile on his face.

“Now that was narcissistic.” Juro commented, smiling as he watch Kenji be offended at what he had said

“Hey!-“ Kenji was about to explain himself when he was cut off by his watch beeping. He looked at his watch and his eyes widen, suddenly looking panicked. Emi was awake and was throwing a tantrum.

“Oh shoot, I’ve been gone for too long. I-I gotta go.” Kenji said, turning to rush back to his bike and reach home before Emi’s tantrum got worse. He doesn’t want to repeat what happened last time.

“So Timeout is over?” Juro asked causing Kenji to turn and reply back

“Yep! Timeout is over.” Kenji said.

“We should really do this sometimes, cause not gonna lie, being rivals can be tiring.” Juro suggest. Kenji paused for a moment to process what he had said before smiling at him.

“It’s a promise. See you tomorrow Agamatsu!” Kenji said, waving at Juro before jogging to the exit.

“See you, Kenny boy” Juro yelled, smirking as Kenji turned around once again.

“Tryhard!”

“Eavesdropper!”

“I WASN’T EAVESDROPPING!” Kenji yelled back. He could hear Juro’s laughter echoing the halls causing him to smile. Maybe they should have more timeouts.

#canon x oc #ken sato #ultraman ken #kenji sato #ultraman rising #emi ultraman #emi sato #mina ultraman #juro agamatsu (oc)#fanfic #its bad but its the effort that counts

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sleepyvib-es · 25 days ago

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do you have like a turning point beyond which rick's writing became unsalvageable to you? and if you do, what do you think should have happened instead of what happened canonically

hii! <3 this is such a good question omg, ty for sending it!

i had to really sit and think about this one. i don't think that i could really pinpoint one moment where i felt like "yeah this is it im done" because to me, there are a lot of those throughout the riordanverse lmao

but if i really had to pick one? at the risk of sounding basic, i would say blood of olympus. rick's treatment of his main characters and how he handled their arcs all throughout hoo but especially in boo just didn't work for me. i also strongly dislike how some established themes in pjo and the final conclusion to the og series feel so insignificant now.

before i go further though i will say that there are some things i enjoyed in boo, mainly having to do with nico's and reyna's povs. i don't like that 4 out of the 7 main cast were sidelined in the last book of the series (i think rick's excuse for sidelining annabeth and percy was total bs but i'm equally as angry that frank and hazel both received supporting cast member treatment) but i did enjoy their povs and think that rick's writing was strongest writing these two (until the last few pages of nico's chapter).

i genuinely despise how the narrative started blaming percy for things that were out of his control and how rick turned him into a fumbling incompetent idiot, something that has only gotten worse in his newer books (the way he wrote him in tsast, cotg, and wottg has been discussed in great lengths so i won't dive into it here but i'll link some posts if you're curious).

gonna apologize now for my long rant:

i didn't like the final speech he gave to the greek demigods before fighting, especially when you compare it to the speech he gave in TLO. like the difference between the two is just so... disrespectful lmao that is not my percy. and this was supposed to be the last we saw of percy bc rick said he was done writing for this universe when the book came out. like.. no. this is one of those moments that just shows how heavily he started to lean on the fanon interpretation of percy. a literal decade has passed and the fandom is still struggling with this interpretation of his character. i hate it.

i didn't like the "not my type" joke like imo you had to have written both nico and percy in an ooc way just to land that joke. the way rick wrapped up these two and their ~complicated~ relationship (that is only complicated because rick retconned nico's character and redid his arc from pjo, which would explain some inconsistencies like why he was looking to bring bianca back by using the doors of death when he had a mini arc of acceptance that bianca must stay where she is. which, yk, was the whole emotional conclusion to daedalus and his arc. nico will always grieve his dead sister ofc but he had said goodbye to her in pjo already.) it's one of my least favorite things about hoo.

and listen, out of all the things that i could choose to rewrite, this one scene isn't actually on the top of my list considering all of rick's writing offenses. but i just wish that relationship between both these characters and the conclusion to their arcs had been resolved in a much more meaningful way.

Edit: i think this is an excellent breakdown and analysis of one of my least favorite things regarding nico's writing in hoo. op offers suggestions on how the writing could have been improved and i wholeheartedly agree with everything. it's worth the read!

i think he had a lot of interesting concepts and he introduced a lovely cast of new characters that i love to this day but failed to execute his ideas in a way that would have made better sense narratively. there is a lot i wish had been done differently.

also, im aware that it's not only percy's characterization that has suffered. i'm very critical of the way he's been writing annabeth's character as the girlbossified, hyper-competent mom friend. the flanderization of both percy and annabeth's characters is just Not It for me. but there's also:

the way he fumbled leo's arc in hoo (leo's journey of self love and acceptance is something that can be so personal. i forever mourn the potential that could have been leo realizing that he fucking mattered to his friends. platonic friendships matter.)

sidelining hazel and frank (his mars transformation as part of his character development? terrible, awful implications)

questions left unanswered about frank and hazel's characters and their curse and how that was answered in toa, a series where they were not the main characters.

jason. where do i even begin with jason. i liked his arc in hoo and i like the tragedy of jason's character but i'm not a fan of how he was killed outside of his own series. this was poor writing to me.

i also really wish rick had committed to writing a seperate roman series before writing hoo so that new rome/camp jupiter and its cast were properly fleshed out. perhaps the quality of his writing in hoo would have been better if he had already established jason and reyna as characters instead of starting from scratch with 5 new main characters + reyna + octavian (wouldn't have been such a letdown of a villain)

the way he wrote nico and will in tsats. and also all the inconsistencies, the typos, the retcons, the way the plot literally doesn't make sense (why couldn't hades just let bob out? why is making his son relieve his experience in superhell with his bf seen as such a great parenting moment?). it made tartarus seem like Not A Big Deal. the cocomelons.

i love piper but god is it hard to ignore rick's unhidden biases about the way he feels about women. i also think she deserved better. i love that she has a girlfriend but i wish shel was a fleshed out character. and again i just wish we had all this from piper's pov.

the way he handled reyna's character after hoo. other people have discussed this in a much better way that i can on this post but his aroace rep and lesbophobia is very disappointing.

the way he retconned and handled calypso's character. i have never shipped caleo so i dont care if they break up. if it was up to me leo would have been single and gay never been on that island and they would have never gotten together. however, the way he wrote them in toa does not make me feel better about either of their character arcs. there are so many interesting things he could have done with calypso's character post pjo (where she was actually meaningful to the plot and themes of the series) and he took the "snarky love interest" route. it's boring. i also know she's not anyone's favorite but rick has done a huge disservice to her character that's kinda ... not really discussed b/c of how much people dislike her.

the cupid scene

i think that he attempted to rectify a lot of these issues in toa. but even where i find positive things to say about toa, there are still some things that i'm just not really happy about. this isn't me criticising the series, feel free to enjoy it if you do! i have moots that love it. the few complaints i have boil down to rick choosing to resolve character arcs outside of the series where they were the main characters. it just makes the writing in hoo look even worse.

back to why boo was the turning point for me: i remember being so angry that i couldn't bring myself to read the book much less finish it. i'm someone who doesn't like to drop things halfway once i've started (including shows and movies. like i literally force myself to finish a series even when i feel the writing quality has gone down. i have watched every ep of grey's anatomy up to it's current season and yes i know what that says about me lmao.)

sometimes i like media that is mid or trashy and im okay with that! but when it's to the point where i don't even want to finish it? that's how you know you lost me.

#percy jackson #pjo #tsats crit #wottg crit #cotg crit #rr crit #hoo crit #<- tagging all these just in case #cinder's asks

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beauty-and-passion · 11 months ago

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TBOB PART 2: OF FLATLAND, EXWHYLIA AND EUCLYDIA (3/4)

Hello, everyone, welcome once again to another post about Bill’s dimension. One day this analysis will end, I promise. But today is not that day: today is the day we will talk about Bill’s family.

And oh boy if there’s a lot to talk about.

Please check all previous posts to understand this one (and the masterlist too!).

<- Previous post - Masterlist

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PART 4: OF BILL’S FAMILY

“If you think Stan’s relationship with his family is bad, Bill’s is worse” - Alex Hirsch, NYCC 2015

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Loved and ostracized

Everyone loved me immediately and the mayor dubbed me the “best baby of all time”, made my birthday a holiday and gave out free knives. (...) Truth is I’ve always been loved and admired by all!

Of course Bill starts telling his story with a huge. Fucking. Lie.

How can I be so sure? First of all, the hyperbolic way in which he talks about his birth as if it’s the second coming of Christ. Then, all the previous points of this endless analysis.

Considering everything we have until now, I find it very difficult that Bill’s birth was celebrated by everyone. Surely his family celebrated it - if his society is similar to Flatland’s, having a regular son would’ve been enough to make them very happy.

But also… he’s just an Equilateral. And if his world has social classes based on the number of sides, then he’s from a middle class. I doubt the birth of another Equilateral was a reason big enough for huge celebrations.

Also, let’s not forget what Bill himself said in the TBOB: you should make a new reality and a meaning for yourself. Well, what if this is the reality he made? A place where he was immediately loved and admired by everyone?

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Scalene and Euclid

Sooo… those are the names of Bill’s parents.

Honestly? They’re interesting. Even if I’m a bit weirded out by Scalene: in the only image we have of Bill’s parents (the grayed-out triangles on thisisnotawebsitedotcom) neither of them looks like a scalene triangle. On the contrary, they both look equilateral.

It’s a bit strange, you know? As if a person has “Neanderthal” as their first name. “Neanderthal Smith” or similar. Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

While speaking of Euclid, I think it’s a nice name. It’s the same name as the dimension they lived in and no, it’s not as weird as it seems: in our world, some people have the same name as the country they’re from, so it’s not so weird.

But hey, the most important thing is that we canonically have the names of Bill’s parents! We know he had parents and we know details of his relationship with them!

And this raises A LOT of questions.

Let’s start with his mother: we know she loved him, at least a little bit. She sang him lullabies and told him she loved him, despite his strange eye. So we can be sure at least one of his parents didn’t mind his deformity so much.

Also, this part in TBOB after Bill and Ford's breakdown, in which a very, very drunk Bill talks to his mom:

“I’m gonna be back from school soon, don’t forget to cut out the crust off my sandwiches or I’ll —”

I don’t know you, but to me, this sounds like the threat of a spoiled child. Something like “cut the crust off or I’ll throw a tantrum”. And yes, this implies Bill was a spoiled child - or at least, a child who considered himself above others, mother included. So yes, I can imagine him throwing a tantrum at his mother for something stupid like some crust on his sandwiches.

But again, even more questions! How was his mother towards him? Was she submissive? Was she combative? Was she ready to answer to every little whim of her son like a Flatlander Woman or did she ask for some respect? Considering how bratty Bill is, I'm more prone to believe she was very lenient towards him.

While speaking of his father, I find it very fascinating that we know absolutely nothing about Bill’s relationship with his father. We know his mother loved him (maybe to the point of spoiling him too much)… but his father? Did he care about Bill? I suppose so, considering Bill visited a doctor (unless it was his mother’s decision only, but I doubt it).

And about his job: was he a Tradesman? Bill attended school, but was school supposed to teach him about his future job too? If not, then this was up to his parents, right? Presumably, it was his father’s job to teach Bill how to be a Tradesman, a bit like in the Flatland society. If that’s the case, then why we don’t have any information about this? Why no memory at all? Bill seems to care about his father too - if we assume that the top hat he has was his father’s. So at least he cared enough to keep something of him.

Was his father a bad guy? Was he cruel? Or was he so blinded by society’s rules to torture his son and think he was doing it for his good? In that case, I would understand why he did everything he did - but beware: understanding doesn’t mean accepting. It would be a bit like Filbrick Pines’ situation: I can get the reasoning behind his actions, but that doesn’t make him Father of the Year. Maybe it’s the same for Bill’s father. This wouldn’t be the first parallel between Stanley and Bill, after all.

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An Irregular masquerading as Regular

Time to talk about Bill’s eye.

We can safely assume Bill’s rare mutation was having his eye on the face and not on the side - which, from the Euclideans’ perspective, meant having an eye on his insides.

Now, imagine with me: you have a child and you see that your baby has no eyes. No eyes at all, not even an eye socket. I bet you would freak out, at least a little bit. You would probably send your baby to a doctor and ask if there is something they can do.

The doctor checks the baby and gives you both good and bad news: your child has eyes and they work. But they are inside his body. In his goddamn stomach.

And if all of this isn’t enough, your child starts telling you that sure, he can see a lot of things! He sees things you cannot see - no one else can see.

Now, would you say: “Oh, no problem. He can see things no one can, so he’s fine and his eyes work well”? Or would you probably freak out even more and fear your son is having goddamn visions because he’s probably dying or has a tumor or who knows what?

I can understand why Bill’s parents brought him to a doctor. And I can understand why the doctor thought the best solution was to “blind” that eye. As far as Euclideans know, there are no “stars” and there is no “above”. It’s as if someone in our world says they can see rotating hypercubes in real life. Would you think they’re perfectly fine or question if they’re insane/growing mad/getting very sick?

So yes, even if it's insane for us, from Bill’s parents' POV, giving him medicine to make him blind was for his own good. Does that make them Parents of the Year? Hell no, they were literally blinding their own son, of course it’s terrible and insane and if someone tries to do the same they should be immediately thrown in jail. But for the rules of Euclydia’s world, this was probably the best thing to do.

And personally, I ADORE the tragedy of this. The tragedy of giving something to your son that will permanently blind him, but trying to make it at least bearable - he’s still a child, he doesn’t really understand what he’s drinking, but you think it’s for his own good, your whole world think it's for his own good, so you use something silly that he likes, like straws, because this will make the medicine - the impairment - more tolerable. Uuurgh, it’s so tragic I love it.

And it’s even more tragic, if we consider that even after billions of years, even if he talks about his doctor and the medicine as something bad that wanted to “blind” him, Bill never forgot the straws. He still loves the straws he was using so much, to the point he still gave them a place in his book.

But since there’s always room on the angst train, also think that by making him blind, Billy would’ve probably stopped talking about these visions (at least, according to his parents). And if he stopped, it would’ve been easier for him to fit into society. He would’ve followed the rules and standards. He was a Regular shape after all, so if they took away that hidden-and-yet-so-present pieces of Irregularity he had, he could’ve become a respectable member of their society. One who didn’t go around, talking about weird things no one could see. Things that were against the law.

Again, it’s not me saying this, it’s Bill:

“Technically, talking about a “third” dimension was illegal in my world.”

This makes Bill’s character EVEN MORE fascinating. He could’ve been the Apostle of the Third Dimension. He could’ve spoken to everyone, because he had something of everyone - he could’ve been a bridge between Regulars and Irregulars, because he was both. He could’ve changed his world or died as a martyr.

But in the end, he chose the third option.

And we will talk about it in the next post.

See you soon with the fourth and final post on this part.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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📌TAGLIST: @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders @idontreallyknow24 @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake-and-crofters @hereissananxiousmess @purplebronzeandblue @cynicalandsarcastic @lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire @riseofthewerewolf @rosesandlove44 @arya-skywalker @csi-baker-street-babes @reesiereads @dracayd-universe @starlightnyx @stubbornness-and-spite @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing @thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella @nevenastark @coldbookworm @boopypastaissalty @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

#gravity falls #the book of bill #tbob #the book of bill spoilers #book of bill #book of bill spoilers #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #this is not a website dot com #gravity falls meta #gravity falls fandom #journal 3 #bill cipher #flatland #exwhylia #euclydia #euclid cipher #scalene cipher #analysis

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 9 months ago

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I’m always curious about Kankri being redeemed in any way (maybe because he can become the sufferer). Obviously to do so would be simply punting him to reality and force him to live it, no help from his shoddily-made support structure. But I’m curious how you would go about doing it

Given their role thematically in the story, I'm actually usually not on the train of "fully redeem the dancestors", but I do like giving them some catharsis and reckoning, a place in the fight against LE. One last chance to do something good with their lives/afterlives before the end, and a(n implied) new start as wigglers born into the new universe.

So to that end, in my head, the "turnaround point" for Kankri - the inciting incident that makes him have a mental breakdown that results in him finally taking some accountability for his shitty actions - is having a conversation with Eridan.

In my head, the Dancestor reckoning happens gradually, alongside a series of retcons where the dead trolls are brought back one or two at a time, and deal with their emotional issues a little more with every cast member added back into the party.

The TL;DR series of events is: Terezi asks to bring back Vriska, Vriska asks John to punch out Tavros before she can kill him, Tavros's influence makes Gamzee ask for Equius and Nepeta to be brought back, Equius asks for a redux of Aradiabot, Aradiabot grabs John by the arm and gets him to undo her death and Sollux's fall into depression, Sollux asks for Feferi to be brought back, and then Karkat asks for Eridan.

We know from (Vriska) that the Game Over/Alpha Timeline characters still exist post-Retcon, so those characters would also be continuing their character arcs, just in the afterlife prepping for the LE fight. For example, I think Meenah's reckoning should be delivered by (Karkat) - after having had so long to reflect on his own failures as a leader, he would be perfectly poised to scream at her for hers, which would also serve to make this confrontation a final thesis for Karkat as a whole - what leadership means (caring about your team) - and a conclusion to the Meenah/Karkat dynamic.

So when I say that Kankri needs to talk to Eridan, I mean Eridan and not (Eridan). Full character development, all his teammates are alive, taken full accountability and responsibility for his actions, team good guy Eridan. And as I noted in this essay, Eridan with full character development is actually more annoying than regular Eridan, because he's also the "Devastating: Worst Guy You Know Made An Excellent Point" guy. In bulleted form:

He's still an advocate for murder. Murder is literally what kept his friends alive long enough to play the game, and playing the game itself involves genocide, so he would be the Token Evil Teammate who reminds the team that, hey, murder is an option - and enemies will be considering it. Even at his very best, he's going to struggle with empathy and have an extremely blase view of violence and murder - those were literally just facts of his life through his most formative years.

This also makes him a TOTAL downer, as he's the tempering voice that reminds them that decisions have consequences, and utopia requires sacrifices, and nothing is ever worth fighting for that won't eventually need to be fought for. Like I said, worst guy you know, excellent points. In fact, he's out here volunteering to do the murdering when the situation calls, if nobody else wants to get their fins dirty. He's really good at it.

He's still an idiot who doesn't listen to people. He's perfectly fine at taking orders, but having a conversation with him is still really difficult. I feel like if you make Eridan too smart, mentally flexible, and socially aware, you lose a lot of his Eridan-ness, and I think these characters, fully realized, are more of themselves, not less. I also don't know how you could reasonably expect to fix these traits. He's just Like That.

He drops his fake pro-Empire stuff, because that was basically all just empty posturing in the first place, but...

Now he's a pretentious-ass hipster who judges you for liking Trollor Swift and Troll Marvel. Given that Jake's indiscriminate taste is actually linked to his deficit of Hope (he has little conviction, he's wishy-washy), Eridan coming into full Prince of Hope regalia involves getting even more annoying about his taste in media (shittons of conviction, refusal to budge).

He is also a wizard. He will not shut up about this.

And finally, I think he'd still be out here using slurs. First of all, because it'd be really funny, because he's literally not casteist, but second, because there's two types of "it's equality" - the kind where nobody ever says anything offensive, and the kind where "offensive" stops being a relevant concept because true equality has been achieved. Think of the discourse surrounding the reclamation of slurs IRL, or how the "it's equality" meme gets used - this idea that words can be stripped of power by changing the context of who's saying them, or that objectification/discrimination stop being problems if they're applied evenly across the board, instead of limited to specific groups. I think that this is the exact type of nuanced idea that Homestuck would tackle and its fandom would get incensed about, which is why I think it should stay.

Eridan's role, thus, becomes a sort of "unpleasant truths" kind of character. Violence, both physical and verbal, is unpleasant as hell, and the natural instinct is to avoid it. The problem is, in any true discussion of what society should look like, they're topics that can't be avoided, and are even sometimes necessary not just to recognize, but to utilize (no revolution is bloodless, etc.). Eridan - an extreme personality - is going to represent the uncomfortable extreme of the debate. And by that I mean he's going to be saying slurs and talking about murders and is still going to be unquestionably a force for good.

The reason I'm going so in-depth into this is because Kankri very much represents the opposite: using "polite" language and couching it in the language of courtesy, activism, and liberal ideology, Kankri hides - and worse, spreads - his classist, ableist, misogynistic, puritan beliefs. He enforces the class divide and actively works against his teammates' best interests.

He whines that the lower blood castes should stop complaining about oppression, because others have it worse. He tells the team feminist that misogyny isn't real, then slut shames her. He tells the guy with brain damage that he's making other neurodivergent/TBI people look bad, exacerbates Latula's shame around her inability to smell, and actively guilt trips Cronus into ignoring his epiphany and self-reflection. Kankri is only an activist in that he actively makes everybody worse.

But why does he act like this? Well, it's due to the fact that he was probably culled, and on-sight at that, like Karkat would've been if anyone found out about his mutant blood. Kankri doesn't seem to have a symbol or lusus, either, two thinks Karkat only had because the Signless's followers prepped them for him, so the chances are very high that Kankri was culled since he was hatched. Given the way he discusses culling with Latula, and viciously despises being mothered by Porrim, it's clear he has some really complicated feelings regarding having his agency dismissed. Thus, his work to hamper his team - at least some of which is wilful on his part, as he'll outright cast aspersions on Horuss or Cronus's beliefs for being "imaginary" even as he encourages them to commit to them - is motivated by something quite simple: power, attention, entitlement, and control.

When he goes on his grand lectures, he frequently slips and reveals that he sees himself as a great, unquestionable spiritual leader, often trying to place other characters in subordinate positions to himself - Karkat is his "pupil," and his monologues, I mean, sermons, I mean, diatribes, are spoken as if from a position of authority. He outright tells Meenah that this is what he believes himself to be.

It's a very Seer sort of problem - both that of hubris and that of willful blindness. If you chart out the actual "end goal" of his beliefs, it appears to be a world in which Kankri himself is both the biggest victim and most important voice in the room. He regularly disparages those with actual disadvantages (Damara, Porrim, Mituna) while playing up the false problems of those who don't actually have them (Horuss, Cronus). Those with disadvantages should have their voices amplified - except lowbloods should stop whining and misogyny isn't real. And those with real power should check their privilege - but won't somebody think of the poor highbloods who have ~emotional problems~? Kankri will, and all the highbloods need to do is bend the knee and treat Kankri as their specialest boy.

In short, he's using his intellect, rhetoric, and forceful personality for selfish, emotionally-driven pursuits. The actual substance of his arguments is ephemeral and contradictory because that's the trick - the point is NOT to further equality, but to verbally browbeat his conversation partner into submission. In other words, you can't beat Kankri in a regular debate, because the moment you start trying to actually engage in a debate with him, he wins. The moment you start lunging at his arguments, he's got you in his red-texted labyrinth. The moment you start treating his points like they merit genuine discussion, you're in the pews of Kankri's church, and he's up at the pulpit.

And Eridan is the destroyer of faith. He's also an idiot who doesn't listen to people.

I don't really know exactly how it would play out, but I know in my heart. In the pit of my soul. That Eridan would call Kankri several slurs, (correctly) point out that Kankri's celibacy is stupid because it's clear he has feelings for Cronus and Latula, (correctly) point out that his pro-equality stuff is stupid because he calls violets "Royal-V"s, (incorrectly) accuse Kankri of hitting on him, (correctly) point out that the entire point of a slur is that it hurts and insults the person it's used on, (correctly) call Kankri several more slurs, (correctly) point out that Kankri just wants attention, especially from highbloods, (???) go on an unhinged rant (maybe more) about being a wizard, being a murderer, and being a murderer wizard, (???) insult Kankri's taste in music, and finish it up by (correctly) revealing that Eridan and Karkat are moirails who make out sometimes.

I think Kankri would start crying.

#full stop this is the conversation that didn't happen that i want to see most in all of homestuck #homestuck #eridan ampora #kankri vantas #i think it's especially important it be eridan because eridan is a sea dweller #and kankri is a huuuuge wader/sea dweller liker #so having a sea dweller CORRECTLY point out that kankri is a wader and casteist and chew him out for it #WHILE calling him a bunch of slurs #gang i dont know how kankri's ever gonna emotionally recover from this

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kibbles-bits · 7 months ago

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Question, what DOES Val find attractive about Vox?

I'm going to assume this is for the Heaven's Best AU because I… wouldn't know the answer to the canon one? (though Val's audition sheet including the information of sleeping only "with 10's… and Vox" means he likes Vox and doesn't consider him actually attractive. Love it. Hilarious.)

So, what does Valentino in Heaven's Best find attractive about Vox?

His personality and he's mad about it.

That's the short answer! The rest of this is just me yapping.

He finds other things attractive soon afterwards but it's the personality and character traits that got him and he won't admit it.

Canon!Val wouldn't like HB!Vox, but HB!Val is a little different.

He can not relax.

With no partners, Val's had to lean on his more violent traits to keep control of his territory so there wasn't much time to relax. If he wanted to go out he always has to keep an eye out for other demons who might try to attack him and he's lived like that for most of his years in Hell.

He allies with and eventually befriends Velvette - which is still a recent development. Fear for Velvette's safety plus preserving his delicate new image she's built for him means he can't be as violent as he was before which stresses him out a lot. He can't really bring himself to trust anyone else.

So that's where he's at when Vox joins the picture.

Seeing the Exorcists being killed on TV was something he found interesting - it made them feel more like people he can have sex with so color him interested when he hears two angelic beings have moved down to hell. He means to proposition one politely, whichever one he runs into first. He knows he can't force it. Not only is Vox an angel and naturally more powerful, but he's allied with a seraphim and the rulers of Hell. Val talks shit but he's not going to risk their wrath, especially when whatever happens to him will, by extension, affect Velvette. He's not immediately physically attracted to Vox so after failing to make a deal, he lets him leave without any trouble. A little miffed about how it went, though.

Later, when Vox has his Oopsie, Val tries to make him feel better about it. Some of it is because seeing an angel have a breakdown sits wrong with him, but the rest of it is because he wants to see how much use he can get out of Vox now that he's so delicate. Maybe get him to kick Angel out of the hotel. He has blackmail, after all. How would Emily react to her BFF going on a little murder spree?

Except before Val can even hint at the blackmail, Vox threatens him first the moment they're alone in Val's home. Which is bold, considering Val just saw how 'well' he took his first murders. But then a murderer is a murderer and Vox is distraught, who knows what he'll do? Val decides provoking him isn't worth it and just… let's him vent it out. And it turns out he's kinda hot in a weird way when he's venting and when he grabs him and demeans him and--

ANYWAY Val promises not to tell a soul what happened.

And Vox imprints on him? Weirdly? He doesn't understand why (yet) but as long as Valentino doesn't intentionally harm him or Emily, Vox is a pretty amiable guy. He won't smite him for fun and he minds his own business. Doesn't try to tell him how awful he is. He says how much better he is than Val, yet is still the one following him around so Val just finds that funny rather than offensive. It's cute, how dumb he is sometimes.

The two eventually sleep together.

Vox isn't a Sinner, he has no interest in Val's power or territory, he doesn't even live in Hell, he hates it there. So Val doesn't have to worry about any 'power grabs' or Vox trying to take advantage of him. He can't push Vox around (Vox pushes back HARD) and also doesn't feel too threatened by him. Val finds out it takes a lot to actually push Vox into committing another Oopsie, so much he doesn't actually see it happen again for a long time. Vox doesn't interfere with his treatment of Angel so, the blackmail? Unnecessary. He starts to trust Vox not to hurt him.

As a Winner who's been in Heaven for like, 50 years, Vox is naturally more friendly than anyone Val's ever personally met in Hell. He's also more eager to just hang out (did you think I was joking?) Vox keeps blabbering to him about all kinds of things and venting and Val actually likes??? what he has to say??? He gets to know Vox very well - what he's really like and things he hasn't told others. Having another person, someone he doesn't own and isn't manipulating, an equal, trust him does things to him (Gee, Val, how come Eternal Damnation let you have TWO friends?)

Vox earns his trust completely one day when he helps him in a territory dispute that had nothing to do with him. Apparently, Vox has been watching him for a long time when he's not with him. People would find that creepy, but Val knows Vox and, yeah, it is, but he likes it because it means Vox cares. And he likes knowing Vox will have his back.

Val is, finally, able to relax when they're together (publicly and privately), and he really values that.

But if you ask him he'd say he's attracted to Vox's screen brightness or his stupid little sweater vest.

#Heaven's Best AU #Vox #Valentino #Staticmoth #voxval #Hazbin Hotel #asks #anon

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casino-lights · 1 year ago

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King Alistair vs Warden Alistair discourse always seems to resurface, like all of the other character-centric discourse, with each resurgence of the dragon age fandom. fandom veterans are probably tired of this by now, but since a lot of new people are playing origins and the old arguments about players making Bad Choices in this rpg are getting rehashed, here's my two cents on this topic in particular.

I was watching my girlfriend play through some of the early levels in origins when I suddenly had a lot of thoughts about Alistair and she encouraged me to share them. throughout his introduction and his subsequent role in Ostagar and the Wilds, we see Alistair being quick-witted and snappy with his humor, but also very focused and dutiful. we see him being (mostly) respectful and polite, but also fairly confident and surprisingly authoritative considering his behavior later in the game. Alistair is comfortable here in Ostagar, and he's comfortable as a Warden not only under Duncan's command, but also over these new recruits. he doesn't shy away from his role as a mentor, the one who's supposed to show everyone the ropes and keep them on task and on schedule. he kindly yet firmly puts Jory back on track when he stumbles, he takes charge when he finds out the Tower of Ishal has been overrun, and he displays thorough knowledge of both the plan and the original expectations of what would be found in the tower. he's also knowledgeable about Blights and some Warden history, and he takes it upon himself to inform Duncan of Morrigan and Flemeth instead of just letting the player talk like he does later on.

speaking of that scene, Duncan is a bit firm but not angry or mean when he says he tells Alistair not to focus on the fact that Morrigan and Flemeth are likely apostates. he tells Alistair in no uncertain terms that this is not his concern and he needs to return his attention to the task at hand. this is not dissimilar from the way the player can later tell Alistair that people are taking advantage of him and he needs to make sure he's standing up for himself, but I'll get into this more a bit later.

what I'm trying to get at is that when we meet Alistair, he's a little closer to his hardened self than to the chronically unserious and incompetent manchild that Morrigan, DA2 and Inquisition, and some parts of this fandom treat him as. post-Ostagar, even Alistair himself seems to see himself as some class clown who can't do anything right, and characters like Wynne enable this by treating him like an ACTUAL child. while Alistair is almost certainly young, he has already proven shortly after meeting him that he's not even remotely stupid and he can obviously take care of himself. Duncan refers to the player, Jory, and Daveth as Alistair's "charges," showing that Duncan clearly trusts Alistair with a lot of responsibility and the safety and guidance of three strangers. he is far from stupid, he's far from childish, and he's obviously a layered character.

this has been said countless times before but a big problem in every fandom is the slow reduction of characters to one or two notable traits, and Alistair is no exception. I have a theory as to why. we know Duncan's death affected him deeply, but I don't think that alone explains his sudden switch from respecting the player while continuing to guide them and share responsibility as the senior Warden to almost blindly letting them lead him around and acting like if he led for five minutes they'd all die horrible deaths because he's just that incompetent. I think that during the time the player was unconscious in Flemeth's house, Alistair experienced an offscreen breakdown where he retreated behind desperate attempts at humor and making himself seem dumber and sillier to appear less competent in the hopes that someone else would be in charge so he didn't have to. if you think back to what age he was when he last experienced such a sudden, tumultuous, confusing loss of stability, routine, community, and a father figure - Eamon sending him to the Chantry as a child - you might even consider this to be a form of partial age regression. when we see him outside Flemeth's hut, he pleads with the player to not abandon him because he doesn't know what they should do or where they should go. he hasn't had this lack of direction ever since he was sent to the Chantry because after that, they dictated his life until Duncan recruited him and then the Wardens dictated his life. he's terrified and tired and grieving, and he begs us to make the decisions and help him figure out what to do.

Morrigan gives him some shit for being quiet and sad, and he snaps at her, but otherwise we don't see a lot of that confidence and willingness to stand up for himself after this. I don't often play a character who is openly mean to any of their companions, so I don't really take any of the more dismissive dialogue options toward Alistair, but he's obviously hiding behind his humor and trying to make himself seem insignificant. in one line he even jokes that he'd hide behind his shield instead of his humor but the player would see him behind it. I think he really does just wish he could hide and grieve on his own and wait for someone else to give him a purpose again, and I think that if we actually saw the process of this breakdown from his more comfortable, confident, capable self into the Alistair we get post-Ostagar and pre-Goldanna, fewer people might be coddling Alistair and enabling this unhealthy coping mechanism. I wish the dialogue options to harden him were a bit kinder, but as we saw, Duncan was willing to tell it to Alistair straight up, and maybe that's the directness he needed from the player too. maybe Alistair needed to be told in no uncertain terms, by someone he respects and trusts, that most people he interacts with have some kind of ulterior motive and he needs to be more aware of this and stand up for himself and his beliefs. once he understands this, we can see him shift from reluctantly taking on the role of king because you and Eamon think it would be best to taking on the role of king because he understands it would be best.

bioware basically canonized this firmer, more responsible version of Alistair in their comics and even during some parts of Inquisition. we know King Alistair is their canon, but even though he shows some uncertainty about his ability to be King, we don't see any unwillingness. yet bioware also made the unfathomable decision to simultaneously show Alistair being a confident, capable king and then immediately fuck that growth up by having him look like a bumbling idiot who still doodles on royal documents at the fair age of thirty-something and still doesn't know how dictating a letter works after ten years of ruling Ferelden. they somehow invalidated both of his paths in origins at the same time, and perhaps most frustratingly, they just won't let go of the "swooping is bad" style of writing for him. let him grow. let him be as competent and brave and determined as he is in your comics. his progress has been so inconsistent it's painful.

if it wasn't already obvious, I think the best path for Alistair as a character is to harden him and make him king. he just doesn't get to prove himself as a Warden as much as he does when he's king. he's mostly alone, he doesn't seem to have a great rapport with other Wardens outside of his renown as one of the heroes of the Blight, and he just acts tangibly sadder. this could be because of the fake Calling, sure, but if he was still joking around with us during an actual Blight, I don't see why this event would have him this drained of personality and life, especially because he knows that this is not the real Calling. his line when he's left in the Fade - "tell Morrigan... tell her I just stood there looking foolish" - is another testament to the fact that he has not grown at all from his self-deprecating humor and he still hasn't come to see himself as capable and worthy of respect. we don't get to see enough of him as king, but from what little we get he seems to be wielding his power and authority well, and he's an incredibly well-respected and well-loved king. especially with Anora or a Cousland queen at his side, he's brave, commanding, and - just like he was back in Ostagar - he seems COMFORTABLE. he knows what he's doing, he sees his worth and accepts it, and he's more than willing to be firm and tell Fiona in no uncertain terms that Ferelden will not tolerate the events in Redcliffe. he's taking command and he's leading and protecting his charges, even though they're a lot more than just three Warden recruits this time.

on a personal note, as someone who has dealt with mental health challenges, tough love from someone I respect and trust actually really helped me and I wouldn't be where I am without the occasional "you need to snap out of it." I'm not saying it's best for all scenarios, but I have experienced this firsthand. Alistair hiding from his responsibilities because they're overwhelming and he's terrified does resonate with me, but so does him actually healing a bit more and becoming more confident when someone shows him that they know he's better than this and he just needs to act like it.

lastly, I think it's important to clarify that I don't believe anyone is playing any rpg the Wrong Way, regardless of what bioware made canon in their comics and other external media. I also think it's stupid to try and say ANY choice or route is inherently right or wrong, and every player is entitled to their opinion and preference. choices made in role playing games are usually done for the sake of playing a role, immersing oneself, and/or exploring the game's full library of content. as I said, I personally find hardened King Alistair with Queen Cousland to be the most satisfying version of his character arc, but I don't mean any of this to shame anyone if they choose or believe otherwise. no hate is intended, so don't purposefully misunderstand or misinterpret my words. no offense is intended if you just prefer one of Alistair's storylines or character arcs over the other. full offense is intended if you're the kind of person who bullies, shades, or otherwise belittles people who don't agree with your super special headcanons because you need to be the most correct player in the fandom.

thanks to everyone who isn't one of those people for reading all this <3

#alistair theirin #dragon age #dragon age: origins #dragon age: inquisition #da:o #dao #da:i #dai

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sugdendingle · 1 year ago

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Saw this ridiculous thread on twitter that really deserves to be taken apart so lets go:

First of all while it's obvious that Buck is attracted to T*mmy (and at this point likes him a lot considering they're now dating) in 7x04 the the main person who's attention he was trying to get was Eddie's. I did an entire breakdown of that ep btw for anyone who is still confused about what was really happening there.

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Buck goes to see Maddie after the basketball incidient and this is how the conversation goes

Maddie: You didn't mean to hurt him did you?

Buck: I don't know. I was pissed you know. Seeing him and T*mmy being such good friends after only two weeks. I felt left out and I guess I was trying to get his attention.

I know that you B/T shippers desperately want to see 7x04 as Buck sent the entire episode being super smitten over T*mmy but that is just not the story that show is telling. The entire conversation that Maddie and Buck are having in this scene prior to T*mmy even being mentioned is about Eddie. Buck and Maddie are talking about Eddie's injury and how Buck thinks Eddie won't want to talk to him after what he did. The focus is on Eddie. Also it doesn't make any logical sense for Buck to be so upset and emotionally invested over some guy he barely knows. He's upset because he thinks Eddie his best friend can so easily replace him in his life.

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You're defending T*mmy because you say he left the date not wanting to pressure Buck...yet he almost outed him in front of Eddie (someone T*mmy knows is important to Buck). By the time they were on their first date T*mmy already knew how new all of this was for Buck and how nervous he was, I mean the man was talking about how he was an ally ffs while he was on a date with a guy. And while Buck's comment about finding some hot chicks was embarrassing and I get T*mmy not liking it he should have had a little more understanding given where Buck is in his journey. Instead he made it worse by making that crass closet comment.

It's also just plain rude to go on a date with someone and then ditch them in the middle without making sure they have a way home and without any real explanation (I'm not talking about more extreme circumstances like your date just being an ahole btw). Sure T*mmy told Buck he didn't think he was ready but that was really all he said. Buck was likely left feeling like he was being punished for having a moment where he acted out of fear. T*mmy could have shared an Uber with Buck and talked to him on the way home and they could have seen if they wanted things to continue. But it was like at the first sign of Buck needing more support he bailed.

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My personal feeling on the first kiss is that T*mmy really should have given something of an indication of his intentions before he kissed Buck.

Speaking as someone who is bi if I was into another woman and they were giving off the kind of vibes Buck was I wouldn't just jump in there and kiss them. I know they try to make everything more sexy for tv and it's the oldest trope in the book to have the hot guy grab the main's face and lay one on them but given all of the signals Buck was sending out T*mmy really should have gotten more confirmation beforehand.

I'm not accusing T*mmy of anything and clearly Buck liked the kiss and it was also clear in that loft scene he was attracted to T*mmy. Still the vibes he was giving off were also really nervous an unsure and he talked about Eddie 90% of the time literally moments before the kiss. Why jump in an kiss someone who seems that nervous and probably is into someone else? I don't know it's just issues I have with that scene.

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When it comes to a lot of the discourse I see around between Buddie shippers and B/T shippers I feel like a major difference is in how we perceive the show. I feel like a lot of B/T shippers mostly just take the show at face value. If something is written a certain way and presented that way to you on the screen you take that as exactly what the story is saying but you're missing the more subtle messages in the writing.

Like the whole scene with Buck, T*mmy, and Eddie in the karaoke bar had a lot going on beyond just what the dialogue was saying and it was likely missed by those who weren't paying attention.

Yeah T*mmy was on call and yeah that could be a reason why he didn't dress up. Although as many have pointed out there's plenty of things he could have worn that would have made it easy for him to quickly change and get to work and still put an ounce of effort into something that was clearly important to Buck.

But the not dressing up wasn't even the biggest issue it was that when Buck seemed hurt by the fact that T*mmy didn't care enough to dress up T*mmy was just like it's not that big of deal get over it (in the demeanor with which he responded). Obviously it was just a silly bachelor party one Chim didn't even show up to and no one else even dressed up for it (besides Eddie) but for me it's another red flag showing that T*mmy doesn't listen to Buck and doesn't have his back like a (potential) partner should.

Also you can defend T*mmy all you want but very deliberate choices were made with this Buddie and T*mmy scene. They chose to have Eddie arrive first and call a lot of attention to what he was wearing. Right before they had T*mmy come in and have that whole convo about his lack of costume to Buck.

Multiple times in the episode they pointed out that Buddie were wearing a couples costume and that Eddie is the one who picked it out. Not only were they matching in the bachelor party outfits but if you look at their outfits in the later scenes while looking for Chim they're coordinated like spouses there too.

They chose to have Eddie be the one to stay with Buck when everyone else left. They chose to have Buddie partying alone when they could have easily had T*mmy there. Especially when you consider this is a much shorter season every scene and every ep means even more than it would in a normal season. If they were trying to build B/T and get the audience to warm to them showing them partying even showing B/T partying with Eddie would have been a great time to do that instead they only focused on Buddie.

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I'm happy for B/T shippers that you got your kissing scene at the end but here's what I saw. In a very overstuffed episode they chose to have a ton of Buddie stuff including having Buck and Eddie show up together multiple times while everyone was out looking for Chimney. Meanwhile B/T got one small scene (which included Eddie) in the beginning and one kiss at the end away from everyone else (that immediately cut to Eddie and Chris). The kiss didn't even feel like it's main purpose was to further develop the B/T relationship, it felt like it happened more to serve Buck's bi storyline so he could come out to everyone.

Also others have pointed this out but just because B/T have physical chemistry doesn't mean they have romantic chemistry. They seem like very different people. Too different in my opinion. In what little scenes of conversation they've actually had I just see two people who won't be compatible long term.

Juxtapose that with Eddie and Buck and just how much alike they are while at the same time being so uniquely themselves. How they're able to call each other out when they need to like when Eddie pointed out how it was maybe not the greatest idea for Buck to come out at his sister's wedding.

You can dislike Buddie and ship B/T all you want but you can't deny how all Buck and Eddie have to do is stand near each other and they exude chemistry and compatibility. People who don't even watch the show assume they're together and there's not even one scene of them kissing. Yet the main reason people ship B/T is because they're two hot guys who've kissed twice. There is no other real point of substance there. Now tell me again which fandom is guilty of fetishization here?

----

You can call us the delusional ones all you want but EVERYTHING is screaming in your face that T*mmy isn't going to last forever. I don't even care if he comes back for season 8. T*mmy and B/T have a giant ticking clock over them and sooner or later their time will be up. There is no way Tim, the writers, ABC, Ryan, Oliver, etc would pass on the phenomenon that Buddie will be once it goes canon. The show already gets a ton of attention just from talking about the possibility of them going canon. Every single article where they even mention Buddie gets attention.

It's hilarious to me that you say the actors and showrunners are what rooting for B/T? In all the the interviews they talk about Buddie now. Tim literally was saying he cares about Buddie too in his response to a fan the other day. He literally said he included Buddie scene specifically for our fandom. Oliver is always posting and liking stuff related to his scenes with Ryan and Buddie. When Ryan gets to do interviews he gushes about Buddie and Oliver. Meanwhile B/T which is supposed to be the canon ship in this important queer storyline they're doing barely gets mentioned. Let me know when that same energy is being given to your ship.

#buddie #911 buddie #911!#long post

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jean-paul-azrael · 1 month ago

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I'm Jean-Paul Valley, I work in IT in Gotham. He/him, Catholic ✝️ please don't ask about my sexuality.

...I also used to be Batman, but please don't ask about that, either.

Trying to turn over a new leaf, trying to NOT do the Azrael thing much but he's kinda stuck here and comes out a lot. Don't be alarmed but he's pretty intense.

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RP blog for Jean-Paul Valley, aka Azrael, aka that Batman in the Knightfall comics.

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BACKSTORY

The Order of St Dumas was a secret organization and splinter group of the Knights Templar. Incredibly wealthy, and pulling strings around the world.

The Order created a loyal assassin called Azrael to destroy enemies of the the order. The process involved subjecting the fetus child of the current Azrael to electroshocks and DNA modification in a growing tube. This process, called "The System" results in a sort of split personality.

Azrael believes himself to be a Holy Avenging Angel of Death, and his enemies to be sinners in need of divine punishment.

Jean-Paul Valley is the latest in the line of Azraels. After his father, Ludovic, died in his arms, he got entangled with the Order and Batman, resulting in him saving and learning the identity of the latter.

After becoming the Batman, his struggles with the System, the stress, and his own inexperienced all eventually culminate into a complete mental breakdown in which Bruce has to forcibly remove him from the role.

His relationship to the Batfamily has been shaky ever since. Jean-Paul tried for years to earn Batman's respect.

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RULES AND GUIDELINES

I am fine with RPs of any rating.

Anyone can follow my blog. Because of this, content not suitable for everyone must be discussed in DMs. I have a secondary blog for strictly mature content.

Things like magic anons are okay within reason. If I personally find it too zany to work with I just won't respond.

Online RP is old enough you all should know your etiquette (godmodding, meta, etc etc)

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HEADCANONS AND WRITING CHOICES

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PLOT HOOKS

The Batfam can be weird about him. Bruce might consider him as much of his own failure as Jason. Dick might be very distrustful and even a tad jealous? Tim might not have forgiven the crap he dealt with from AzBats. Or maybe he wasn't even in your universe!

Wanted people:

- A Bruce, Tim, or Dick who went through the whole Knightfall deal with JP

- Michael Lane Azrael

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THE MUN

I'm 25+ and use they/them pronouns. I like pets and tea.

I have a day job, ADHD, and some maybe chronic stuff, so my reply turnovers vary A Lot. Please tell me when I've forgotten to reply because once a Tumblr notif is too far down I WILL forget.

I've been RPing for around 10 years, and I made these DC blogs because my usual RP buddies didn't care about comics.

---

STORYLINES AND ARCS

This is more for note keeping of things that have happened, as stories float around, I make a lot of sillies, and I'm really not pressed about canon. Do Not take this as some sort of Bible it's not that serious

Verse 1 - ended up in a universe where Knightfall never happened. Found and taken in by Eleanor Wayne

Hail Mary - Eleanor is injured by Deathstroke and Azrael's assassin obedience gets triggered

Verse 2 - good times with Morgan!

Verse 3 -

#jean paul valley #dc rp #batfam #dc rp blog #dc roleplay #batfam rp #batfam roleplay

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googledetective · 10 months ago

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I wanted to give my thoughts on the new episode, even if nobody really cares.

Spoilers, of course.

1. I love the new sprites, especially the Teruko ones.

3. I think Arturo's breakdown was very justified, and I'm glad that it happened. (also "shut your whore mouth" was the funniest shit I've heard all day!)

2. I think it's good information to know that the cast thinks they're 18 years old (inference), and Rose said that its likely been a few years. It gives us an age range now :)

2.5 (edit) Whit is looking really suspicious. I get the whole bond between him and Charles, but why would he say that Charles has no alibi if he wasn't out and about.

4. I think the fact that Teruko did not notice that Arei was swinging initially when she died, means she at least cared a bit and was surprised by her death.

5. I love the banter between Teruko and David about Xander. It's just so interesting to see such polarized and opposite opinions.

6. David really raises the question of is something out there worth more than the lives of 16 people, something I've never seen anyone consider yet or really much in Danganronpa before. I think this may end up being a justified kill.

7. David knows who Xander is... I hope that comes up again. I'm very curious as to who he really is and why David has memories. My theory is that David knew of him during or before the age of 18, so that memory wouldn't have been erased. Also why did he only say a year's worth of memories?

8. This is a bit of a leap, but I think it's safe to say David has Teruko's secret.

8.5 (edit) I'm starting to get sick of J accusing Arturo and Ace accusing Nico constantly. J is a huge fucking hypocrite, and honestly, as much as I love her, both her and Ace need to shut their goddamn mouths before I shut it for them.

9. I'm glad Hu had her moment. I talked to so many people who were starting to agree with David, so it was nice to see a different opinion. And I think she's right: that David shouldn't make the choice to die for them.

10. I'm glad David told Whit to shut up and called him out. I think that might help Whit have character development in the future, if he survives this trial.

11. My heart fucking sank when Levi confessed his secret.

12. I'm a huge Teruvid fan after this episode. I already was a fan, but holy shit.

13 (edit) David dropped the "good person" term on Xander. That's huge, considering the hidden text in the chapter card.

14. I could see Levi's reveal going one of three ways:

a. He's the killer as well and he's going to come clean

b. He's lying and he's the killer

c. He's telling the truth but he isn't the killer

Here's my opinions of the cast after this episode:

(Hu and David went up by a lot.)

#drdt #danganronpa despair time

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myfandomrealitea · 10 months ago

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Honestly I'm getting really tired of how people treat celebrities.

People act like they're circus animals that exist solely to dance for their entertainment, and that being a celebrity means they don't deserve to have any boundaries or dignity or privacy.

Like I always see posts going "Oh boo hoo people are being mean to the poor celebrity, maybe they can wipe away their tears with their money while the rest of us starve :(" and it's like what the fuck are you talking about.

Them being famous and having a lot of money (although a lot of celebrities aren't actually super rich, which no one ever wants to acknowlege) doesn't give people the right to treat them the way they do.

Being rich means nothing if people are stalking you and breaking into your house and sending you unhinged love letters.

Being rich means nothing if people are taking pictures of your fucking children so they can sell the pictures to magazines.

Being rich means nothing if people are following you every time you're in public (or even in private!) so they can try and take a picture of you doing something embarassing or scandalous.

I'm honestly surprised there aren't more cases of celebrities having mental breakdowns and losing their shit due to the amount of harassment, stalking, and invasion of privacy they face.

Leave these goddamn people alone for fuck's sake.

I always see people saying:

"Its what you sign up for when you become famous."

And I just. No. So much no. No?? Non??? Nada.

Like yes when you're famous a certain amount of your privacy erodes because you become a public figure. Its in the name. But the way celebrities are literally treated like nothing more than creatures that exist for us to consume and observe and dictate and judge is fucking insane. We learned nothing from Britney Spears, apparently.

Celebrities have become such a disconnected reality from 'general living' that we are so fucking out of touch with the fact that they're literally just human beings. Eminem made a song about it and people just laughed it off as a great musical plotline and 'haha funny Stan lets turn it into fandom culture slang.' One Direction had to hide in unmarked trade vans and book out entire airports (which then got hacked) just to try to travel without getting mobbed. Toby Maguire got branded as 'rude and aggressive' for yelling at paparazzi who literally surrounded his car and blocked him from leaving a car park so they could take photos of him.

Celebrities should not have to take out contracts and protection orders and press gags just so they can raise their children in peace or take them on a fucking walk. Celebrities should not have to cover tattoos honoring their dead mother because some clown who thinks it'll turn into a Y/N moments replicates it without any care for its actual meaning. Celebrity nudes and sex tapes get hacked and leaked and the celebrity is simultaneously blamed for it and sexualised to absolute hell for it.

"Sources" are constantly selling-literally selling- private information about people and their lives and families and its just?? Considered so fucking normal?? Imagine having a miscarriage and finding out three days later that your co-worker sold that information to a news outlet and its now front-page news globally?

Imagine organising a secret, small wedding so you can have that special day with the person you love without it being ruined and you find out the fucking priest told the Daily Mail it was happening so your special day consists of hoards of photographers yelling at you while you try to speak your vows?

Honestly I believe we do need stricter regulations and laws regarding this kind of thing. I firmly believe in the freedom of photography in public spaces but I also firmly believe that should absolutely not cover paparazzi literally stalking people, mobbing them, blocking them in alleyways and parking lots, using telescopic lenses to take photographs inside their houses, ect. It simply shouldn't.

People need to start imagining themselves and their family members in these types of situations and recognise that its fucking inhumane.

#myfandomrealitea #sephiroth speaks #fandom #proship #proshipping #law #celebrities #famous people #fame #public law #personal rights #paparazzi

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seeingteacupsindragons · 3 months ago

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This is like. Probably old news. But not to me. So.

Anyway, I noticed a difference in the ages the Eng Dr. STONE fandom seemed to think Xeno and Stan met and the way Japanese artists on Pixiv did. And like, that makes sense, "childhood friend" is extremely vague and has no specific age range indicated, especially as people who are in their mid-to-late 20s generally might think of their teenagehood as children at that point. Xeno's character profile kind of indicates it was before the age of 10 or 11, but. Maybe not! Maybe that's when they met.

My Japanese-English dictionary wasn't super helpful on this point. It gives me the breakdown of the kanji, which just led me to "childhood" and "aware/know". But a dual language dictionary spends a lot more effort on translation than defining, which is fine. Even Midori, which is pretty solid on things like this, all things considered.

So, fuck it, I decided. I'm going to find an online 辞書 and figure out how this fucking word is defined in Japanese.

(I used 幼馴染 for this, because it was what the anime used, and frankly I am not in the financial position to spring for the Japanese manga for reference purposes at this time. I know it's like 4 bucks. Still. Besides, it's almost certainly the word the manga used, too)

The 辞書 gave me "someone you know from childhood" but also "a familiar face since you were aware/conscious."

Okay, I think. So definitely younger than 10. More like. Toddlers. If not younger.

But Google offered me one other thing: the Japanese Wikipedia page for this word.

Wikipedia??? I thought excitedly. That will definitely give me more information on how this word is used than even the dictionary. I didn't realize this random word would have a Wikipedia page!

So I clicked and started choking almost immediately because what it informed me in like the first paragraph is that, while the word doesn't explicitly mean this, people often take it to mean a friend of the opposite sex who was your childhood/first/puppy love.

Ooooookay.

It then provided me a bullet-pointed list of the most common ways the trope is seen in media:

A next door neighbor/neighborhood person whose family was friends with your family (RE: Stan and Xeno: who knows, maybe?)

Someone who walks to and from school with you because you live near each other or are in the same class (RE: Stan and Xeno: who knows, maybe?)

Friends who banter and poke fun at each other (RE: Stan and Xeno: yes. Absolutely yes)

Two people who share old memories and secrets and mutually tease each other and spend a lot of time going down memory lane (RE: Stan and Xeno: yes, especially judging by Stan and Xeno both thinking back to their childhood together before they get petrified again)

Someone you don't think of a romantic partner and then after some event, you realize you have romo feels for them (ala the girl/boy next door trope, although applying that character archetype to either of them is patently absurd) (RE: Stan and Xeno: started choking again)

Cousins or people who live together (RE: Stan and Xeno: well, they're definitely not cousins)

So yeah I was just looking for how old they probably were and ended up down a rabbit hole of "btw this is kiiiiiiinda a romantic trope".

I've also found another page that indicated it's probably from around 3-6 years old as you start making the normal amount of friends once you hit elementary school and it's less notable, but once you're adults, being friends with someone from elementary is just as odd. And it's hilarious to me that some Japanese person was as confused about this question as I was as to do a survey about it.

#Dr. STONE #StanXeno #Japanese language stuff #linguistics #I KNOW THIS HAS PROBABLY BEEN TALKED TO DEATH LEAVE ME ALONE I TRIED TO AT LEAST BE ENTERTAINING IN MY DUCK DUCK GO ADVENTURE NARRATIVE

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heaven-s-black-box · 10 months ago

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Notes-General; Miyuki & more

Return to File

Recovery date: September 17th, 2024

Description: Gotcha gotcha! If you're comfortable, can you do nsfw headcanons like when they're in a relationship for Miyuki, Mochi and/or Mei

Includes- Aged up Character

Notes: Recovered in conjunction with an anonymous researcher, we thank them for their contributions. I will say this was actually really difficult, but it was also kind of interesting. That is to say, I'm not sure how I feel about it (the execution, not the prompt itself)

Back to directory

Miyuki Kazuya

A tease, but not a brat

The kind to put his hand in your back pocket and when you point it out says “it’s an accident” but doesn’t move

Runs his mouth, always teasing about the face you’re making or your reactions

Praise him, he shuts up so fast

At least at the start of your relationship, eventually he gets used to the praise and you consider buying him a gag

Until then, oral keeps him pretty quiet

Giving, I mean, when receiving this man is loud

I think it’s pretty agreed upon that Miyuki deserves to be taken care of

He also does not like giving up control, DO NOT restrain him

That’s the easy way out and he will tease you

Instead wine and dine him, draw a nice bath for the two of you, and then treat him to a night of praise and ecstasy

Assuming he doesn’t fall asleep before you get that far, sometimes he just needs a night of pampering

In the same vein, likes showering together; would love to try shower sex but is terrified of injury

Like, I feel like he’d be pretty adventurous with sex if he wasn’t worried about hurting himself and not being able to play baseball

He pulled a muscle once and almost had a breakdown (you know, the kind where you know you need to flex the muscle but it feels like that’ll rip it in two?)

Miyuki just needs someone to care for him, if you can do that he’ll do just about anything for you

Kuramochi Yoichi

Great stamina, I mean it is Mochi

Strikes me as someone who likes his hair pulled

Also seems like he’d fluster pretty easily

He’s a tease, but he does not take teasing well

“Would you shut up?” “That’s not what you were saying last night”

He goes red

I think he also likes trying out new positions

Kind of like Miyuki where he wants to be adventurous but is kind of afraid of injury

But he’ll start suggesting something and then realize that it’s probably not the best idea

Someday, he tells you

I can see him being pretty romantic, not a huge tease

The amount of times you two have been play fighting and it’s turned into a makeout session and escalated?

You have damn near ruined wrestling for him, and it’s entirely his fault

Discovers sex is a much more interesting way to work off excess energy than swinging a bat, and he has a ton of excess energy

Seriously, once after a really bad game he did 100 swings after and then chased you through your house into the bedroom and fucked you, hard

He didn’t get on base once that game, like I said, bad

Bonus points because it means he’s not over exerting himself

Kuramochi needs someone to match his energy and playfulness, and even if you can’t always keep up he’s more than happy to cuddle up with a videogame

Narumiya Mei

Be surprised, he’s such a brat

And a pillow Prince

I could totally see him trying to pretend you’re doing things “wrong”

But you can also see the way he’s biting the inside of his cheek to stay quiet

Narumiya Mei not running his mouth? A baffling concept

Don’t get me wrong though, he still runs his mouth

Like I said, he’s a brat

He also doesn’t ask for sex unless he’s suuper pent up

He just, riles you up until you catch on

Also, not necessarily NSFW, but he walks around shirtless a lot if he knows you’ll stare

To quote Deadpool “Put your greasy tits away you preening slut”

Anyways, I don’t think Mei ignores is partner’s pleasure by any means

Will, on occasion, treat you like pillow royalty but there has to be a trigger

Like jealousy/ the fear that he’ll lose you

And even though he’s a brat, sex isn’t always rough

Honestly I don’t ever see Mei out growing his overconfident facade and that bratty streak of his

But, as he outgrows his insecurities they become less abrasive in his day to day life

#locked entries #daiya no ace #ace of the diamond #miyuki kazuya #kuramochi youichi #narumiya mei #miyuki x reader #kuramochi x reader #mei x reader #miyuki kazuya x reader #kuramochi youichi x reader #narumiya mei x reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #miyuki smut #kuramochi smut #mei smut #daiya no ace smut #smut

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mieldreams · 9 months ago

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Jhumka/Orange Juice

Summary: It's the next evening, Anakin's still a pain in the ass but...he's also nice? Did the orange juice change things? (pt 2 to Payal)

previous part next part

pairing: Anakin Skywalker x desi!reader (or just reader who's familiar/involved with that culture)

Warnings: none at all hehe ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و

A/n: mind numbing exams, soul crushing reality checks and one (1) mental breakdown later – she's finally here! can't believe y'all liked the first Dumpster Fire fic wow. so here's its sequel – Dumpster Fire 2: Electric Bugaloo. hope you enjoy!

Last night had gone splendidly, AJ had met with you right before the dance just as he had promised and the flow of conversation between you guys couldn't have been smoother. Turns out you guys had a lot more in common besides the same course. And what had started as cordial small talk while waiting for more people to gather, had turned into whispered inside jokes by the end of the night, hushed laughter as the people dancing around you gave side eyes.

You had ended up exchanging numbers, promising to plan a hangout sometime soon. And while you had been too busy laughing at the story of how 'one time he had wanted a mullet as a kid but his mother wouldn't let him get one, so naturally he had resorted to expressing his creative urges on his poor pet cat and it was unfortunately right before her death too, so she had to buried looking like a 70s rock god kitty.'

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you miss her," though it was hard to keep a straight face with the mental image of a cat with a rockstar mullet.

"No, it's fine, I mean I was sad, yeah.. specifically considering I already had like 3 options of new names for her that I never got to use." He shook his head with a deep frown.

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"Well... there was Paul McCatney" he started to list on his fingers, while you tried to remain serious.

"Uh-huh,"

"Catrick Swayze, or—my personal favourite—David Meowie," and this time there was truly no way you could've stopped the snort from escaping you, an amused grin growing on AJ's face in response, though he continued his charade with an offended tone, "Heyyy, are you mocking my naming abilities??"

"Oh no, I absolutely wouldn't, like ever. Not when you came up with something as original and creative as David Meowie" you gave the most genuine expression you could manage, with arms raised in a 'not me' sort of way.

This time he laughed and that's what had finally snapped Aamani, who had been walking with Krish to the exit, just a few feet behind you and AJ – far enough to not be too intrusive but close enough to hear... well, pretty much everything. But now, she was more than ready to drag your ass back and away from that guy.

"...again, don't you think it's a bit much that we're eavesdropping on her? Plus they're clearly only having a platonic conversation..." Krish whispered, leaning in while still keeping his gaze ahead.

"No it's not. And like you said, it's a platonic conversation, right? So there's nothing we could be eavesdropping on."

Though he didn't entirely agree with his girlfriend, he simply shook his head with a sigh and continued to keep an eye on you, after all, neither of them was too familiar with this AJ guy. Not as familiar as you seemed to have gotten in one evening, at least.

"Also, have you tried calling Anakin?" Aamani asked, getting more and more agitated at the less and less distance between you and AJ as you walked closer together.

"I did. He didn't pick up..." Krish grimaced, thinking they had really ruined it for you two now. And Aamani had always been able to read him like her favourite book, shaking her head firmly.

"Oh no, we did not, don't even think it. We have not ruined it for them. Trust me, okay? We have not. Those two are fucking idiots and they will see what's right— specifically what's right in front of them." she gestured frustratingly, waving her arms in front of her.

Krish looked a little surprised at how serious she was, serious enough to swear apparently, and Aamani of course noticed, shooting him an annoyed glance. He knew she found it annoying when people gave her that look for swearing. Just because she didn't frequently prefer to, doesn't mean she couldn't at all.

"Right, sorry-sorry" he squeezed her hand twice.

"Forget it..." She stopped right in front of him making him pause as well. Turning to him with an almost devious smile, "Because the night's still young... and picture toh abhi baaki hai, mere dost" her smile turning to a full grin with a cheeky wink.

Krish snorted, taking two steps ahead to toss his arm around her shoulders, "I hope you'll love me forever," he sighed, "because I don't even want to imagine the evil schemes you'll have if we break up." His expression held a small but content smile.

"Well, if we ever break up, I'd advise you to be more worried about Y/N than me. If I'm the lord of schemes, she's the emperor of revenge."

And her words brought up the memory of your words to him, almost a year back, right before he'd been about to ask Manu out on their first ever date, he didn't even know how you knew, or where you'd shown up from in that empty college hallway (seriously it was like you had teleported right in front of him or something), and the thought of you actually acting on the promise (threat more like) you had made that day made him shiver.

"–Alright! Who wants to get some late-night momos?" he shouted out instead, noticing that you and AJ had said your goodbyes and started to walk separate ways.

"ME!!!" both your and Manu's shouts echoed in the nearly empty ground. 'And it's just that easy to distract them huh' he laughed to himself, pulling out his car keys as the three of you walked out the gates.

The next day was pretty mundane. For you that is, Krish had been stuck on a 2 hour-long call with Aamani about today's mission. 'Mission Seduction' is what she called it, though she had blushed and sort of stuttered as she said it. He wondered why.

The plan was simple, Krish and Anakin would be meeting up at Manu's house, Krish calling him over with a pile of new kurtas because 'yaar I forgot me and Aamani were supposed to match today, can you please bring over a bunch of kurtas from my closet so we can see which one matches best? Oh, and you can come dressed already. After I change, all four of us can head to the ground together.' A quick text ending with three praying hands emojis along with an actual prayer because—

"Do you really think emojis are gonna convince him to come?" The unsaid reference to last night's events was well understood.

"They have to. I somehow managed to convince Y/N to go late to stall her, nothing will work out if he doesn't show up, and I don't actually have any "special tasty treats from the new sweet shop" to give her—"

"You promised her "tasty treats"?

"Well... we're calling Anakin over and then we're gonna get them where we want them and then they're gonna—"

"—okay, don't say it. I get it."

"—and then she'll take him to the bedroom and—"

"Nope. Absolutely not—"

She cackled as she watched her boyfriend run up the stairs to her room with his hands over his ears, just as you exited the bathroom and walked into the living room.

"What are you laughing like an evil witch for?" and that immediately stopped her laughter. "Umm... noooothing–" she said with a nervous sort of laugh, but she wouldn't meet your eyes, and so you narrowed yours at her.

"Okay, so where's my "special tast—" but the loud *ding-dong* of the front bell interrupts you. You walk towards the door to open it while continuing to talk to her, "Did you have them delivered or something? The shop's just down the road, you know? We could've just walked there if you wanted it so bad, I mean after you told me, I started craving it, and now I want it really bad—"

"What do you want really bad?"

But it wasn't one of those delivery guys from sweet shops. "Anakin."

"Uhm... yeah I—"

"You're not delivering the sweets, are you?? What are you doing here?"

You hear a snort behind you but you could hardly look anywhere but his eyes that gleamed a brilliant blue in the twilight sun backdrop.

"What? No, I got the shirts Krish asked me to," he scoffed rolling his eyes. Never mind, fuck him and his stupid-annoying-gorgeous eyes.

You turned to Manu, "Had Krish—"

But Krish must've already seen Anakin walking up to the door from the window because he came bounding down the steps, greeting Anakin with a bear hug. "Aniii, my man," he maintained a cheery tone though he was wheezing from the run down the stairs, "how you beeeen?"

"Um, normal? About the same since you last saw me 30 minutes ago??"

"Right-right, that's good to hear." Krish gave an almost fake seeming laugh, though it was hard to tell with this guy's perennial happy go lucky vibes.

Now, you and Anakin didn't agree on much, but you immediately shared a questioning look that said, 'what's up with him???'

And Manu of course caught it, having walked up behind her boyfriend just as he was about to start rambling nonsense to skirt around the actual lying part.

'You guys are so alike in character, I don't know how you don't see it.' she'd told you once. And you had immediately walked over to her, touching the back of your palm to her forehead to check her temperature.

"Hey, Anakin! Thanks for coming ove– err.. bringing that over," she said while taking the bag from him, "Why don't you come in and wait inside?" She turned to you next, "Not gonna invite him in, Y/N? Some host you are, what happened to 'Atithi Devo Bhava'? she teased as she shoved the bag into her boyfriend's hands and started pushing him towards another room on the ground floor.

"Um first of all, this is your house, you'd be the host," you start as you move aside to wordlessly invite him in with a sweeping gesture of your hand, "second of all, it's less 'devo' and more like 'shaitan ka baccha' really— 'Atithi Shaitan ka Baccha'.." though you mumbled the last part, putting on an exaggerated fake grin when Anakin gave you a questioning glance, though you didn't bother translating.

"Okay, well if I'm not getting my sweets anytime soon, I'm just gonna go finish getting ready. You don't need to use your room right?" Manu shook her head no but she was already lost in planning how to now proceed with The Mission: Part 2.

So she tells Anakin to wait in the living room and that he could turn on the TV or something if he wanted, and goes to the room to discuss their new plan of action considering they hadn't expected Anakin to show up so quickly, before you'd even gotten ready.

Which.. may or may not have had something to do with the secret extra messages Krish had sent Anakin after he'd walked away to Aamani's room.

'Y/N's here too.' 'She's got a real pretty lehenga picked out, you know? :)'

"Okay, so they're both here. Now what?" Krish whispered as soon as Aamani walked into the room and locked the door behind her.

"Hmm... well.. should we go with plan Orange Juice or do you think Strawberry Jam would work better?"

"I think we shouldn't do this at all Aamani," but she just playfully rolled her eyes in annoyance and so he continued, "But if we are doing this, let's go with liquids, it'll be easier... I think..?"

"Orange juice it is then."

And with that she steps out of the room and walks into the living room again, "Would you like something to drink, Anakin? It's good to hydrate yourself before the night-long dancing and all,"

"Um thanks but I'm not gonna dance so it's fine—"

"Are you sure? We have some really good fresh orange juice,"

"No it's fine really—"

"You know what? You just sit right there, I'll get you a glass, okay?" And without waiting for an answer she walks away to the kitchen.

"AAMANI!!" your voice echoes from the floor above, "Have you seen my jhumka?! The silver one with the mirrors?? I'm only able to find one of them.." you yelled as you walk down the stairs and into the living room, "I just had it and now... ugh why am I always losing the other half of my fucking jewellery."

But you stop short as you see Anakin sitting on the couch, boredly flipping through some random magazines, head turning to you as he hears your voice.

Your eyes meet for a brief second before his gaze runs down your body in a slow sweep – down then up again, lingering on your neck exposed by the low neckline and your pierced belly button.

You clear your throat and he immediately averts his gaze.

"Um...you wouldn't have happened to see my jhumka anywhere?" Though you knew it'd be useless asking, you swear you had both of them on before you'd opened the door to Anakin, though you hadn't put the back of the studs in for one of them, so it fell out somewhere I guess.

He stands up from the couch, walking over to you and you have to tilt your head to meet his eyes now that he wasn't sitting. The sudden proximity catches you off guard, eyes wide as he slowly raises his hand towards you, giving you all the time to move away or stop him. But for some reason, you don't.

Instead, you hold your breath as Anakin gently runs a finger over the curve of your right ear, slowly moving the hair covering it to reveal the jhumka you still had. His hand runs down the length of your hair, softly caressing the tresses between his fingers, eyes fixated on your shiny silver jewellery. His tongue pokes out to trace his lips, parting them to say—

"Anakin! I got you the orange juice, it's nice and cold! And don't worry it isn't too sweet either, know that you don't really like—"

You and Anakin jump what you hoped was miles apart the minute you heard Manu's voice, though in reality, it was more like you taking a step away to find something oh-so-interesting on your skirt that you just couldn't take your eyes off of it, running your hands up and down the fabric to smooth down imaginary wrinkles, while Anakin had actually jumped three steps back closer to the coffee table, studying those same boring magazines like he was going to be quizzed on it.

"I didn't know you could read upside-down Ani," Manu's teasing voice called him out.

Aamani was going to pretend like she hadn't seen anything but that didn't mean she couldn't mess with them. Specifically Anakin, considering she was kind of still mad at him for ditching her best friend the way he did last night. Unfortunately, Krish, her more 'grounded in reality' boyfriend wasn't in the room to remind her that Anakin had never actually promised you anything at all, so there was no "ditching". Plus you had seemed completely fine spending the evening with AJ, more than fine even.

You finally look up–if only to check–and sure enough, the magazine he had picked up and flipped to some random page had been upside down, and what's worse (for him, it was funnier for you and Manu) was the giant ad page that you realised was the one with the cartoon.

It was an illustration of two men talking with a speech bubble that said, "I've invested in these new viagra shares, I hear it's a really growing industry."

A performance enhancer ad.

It was even funnier now than when you'd found it the first time and shown Manu. Anakin seemed to have realised what he had been intently staring at too, ears turning bright red, your snort making him snap his head to glare at you. But as he turned his head something caught his eye, glinting in the periphery of his vision from under the coffee table.

"Anyways, here's your orange juice-" but Manu's foot gets caught on the edge of the carpet, her long skirt not allowing her to see her steps properly and she trips, just as Anakin bends down towards the glinting thing.

The glass in her hand, filled to the brim, tips, the juice flying out of it, missing Anakin's kneeled form to the side and landing right on your lehenga top. A gasp escapes your lips, an "oh my god, I'm so sorry" immediately escaping Manu's. Anakin quickly snatches up the object from the floor before walking to you. He looks down to see the orange juice damage on your top just as you raise your head, immediately catching his gaze and snapping at him with a flat tone,

"Stop staring at my tits."

His nostrils flared. "I am not staring at your tits."

But before you could argue back about how you had literally caught him doing just that, Manu came rushing forward with a string of apologies pouring from her mouth.

"Oh my gosh Y/N- I- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. Gosh- I've ruined your lehenga I'm really sorry, it was an accident- I wasn't watching my steps and I tripped and-"

You take two steps forward and take her empty hand in yours, giving it a squeeze, "It's fine Manu. This top's ruined but I have others and look–" you gestured to your bottom half, "the skirt's fine. I can just change the top or something, it'll be fine."

"But it's orange juice.. it's gonna stain Y/N– gosh I'm so sorry"

"It's fine, dude. Yeah it'll stain but what's done is done. And like you said it was an accident, so.." you pat her hand before dropping it, "I'm just gonna go change, alright? Then we can all head to ground together."

And with that you walk back to climb the stairs to Manu's room.

After a full 15 minutes of rummaging through both the clothes you had brought over to Manu's house as well as Manu's own closet you had given up on finding something to match the skirt so you just switched both the top and the skirt to a new set entirely.

"MANU!!" You call out after spending a frustrating five minutes trying to tie the strings on the back of your top, "Manu!! Can you help me tie these stupid strings, please? Manu-" You were about to call her a third time before you get interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

You walk up to the door and unlock it, opening it to let Manu in. But it isn't Manu standing on the other side. Rather, a sheepish-looking Anakin. Dang why were you repeatedly opening doors to the wrong people today. You had the immediate urge to slam the door shut again, your heartbeat quickening for some reason.

"Uhh.. Manu went out with Krish a while back... something about getting you your sweets as an apology so..." he trails off.

You stare at him with a blank face, not quite catching onto his implication.

He catches your look and sighs. That irks you for some reason, "Look do you have something to say or-"

"It means it's just me and you in the house, Y/N."

"Oh."

"Yeah.."

You look to the side, your head moving in a slow nod, then you walk back into the room towards the dresser with the mirror. You turn your back to the mirror, craning your neck to see the strings you were trying to tie into an at least half-decent-looking bow.

After bending your arms in twenty different awkward ways you finally manage to tie the strings together, letting out a small "Aha!" of victory as you twirl to face the mirror again. But the movement causes the strings to come loose and you feel the bow fall apart into a simple knot again, your face falling with it. A moment passes and you simply stare at the mirror, contemplating changing your clothes again or just choosing to rot to death instead. You watch yourself blink twice.

Anakin clears his throat. Oh, he was still standing there, "I can help if you want.."

You watch yourself blink again. Then take a deep breath, slowly exhaling as you make your choice. Anakin had entered the room to stand behind you now, your eyes meeting in the mirror.

You only give a nonchalant sort of shrug in response, pretending to not care much. Like your heart isn't racing as he takes two steps closer to you, like his sudden warmth behind you doesn't make you want to lean back into his wide chest to feel more of it. Like the feather-light caress of his fingers doesn't spread goosebumps across your back, the burning sparks from his warm hands setting fire to your brain.

You had expected him to just go off the knot you had made and simply tie the bow, but his fingers tug on the knot to undo it, catching you off guard as you stumble back into his chest. There. Looks like you got what you wanted, but now you aren't sure if this proximity is a curse or a blessing. His hands continue working in slow, deliberate movements to tie the strings, doing a much better job than you had, but the repeated soft brushes of his warm palm and the air that moved from his movements were driving you absolutely mad.

When you felt him finish, you went to turn around. You realise then that your eyes were downcast the entire time, raising them to meet his as you faced him. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realise your faces are hardly a hair's breadth away. You can't remember the last time you were so close. No, you actually do. It was at that party during your second year at college, but that was different. There were other people present no matter what had transpired, but now? Now, you were entirely alone not only in the room but also in the house.

And what should have been a quiet moment in the empty house was overpowered by the thunderous heartbeat in your chest.

What was this? Were you having a heart attack?

Oh my god, Anakin would let you die if you were having a heart attack– you could NOT die with Anakin being the last person you see. God knows what sorts of stupid rumours he'd spread about your final moments. Definitely something mocking or untrue – "she died grovelling at my feet for my forgiveness for the time she mixed pink dye in my body wash" (he had walked around looking like the pink lady troll for 3 whole days – you were not sorry) — "She cried telling me she regretted replacing all the faces in the photos in my dorm with pictures of Steve Buscemi" (wrong. You had only felt bad cutting out his childhood dog's face, even though it was only a duplicate of the original photo) — "She told me I had better hair than her" (that was, unfortunately, true. but you would never ever admit that to him) — "She also said she's leaving me her secret red curry recipe so if I can have that—" (you wouldn't let him have it even over your dead body).

So no, dying with only Anakin as company was not something you could allow. But why weren't you doing anything? Why would your feet not move when you tried to step back from him? Were you even trying?

All these thoughts come to an immediate halt when Anakin uses his hand that had fallen to your waist to tug you into him once more. The smell of pine cones and smoke and leather wraps around your senses like a heavy blanket. Your skin tingles from the warmth of his breath and your head spins from the warmth of his body. His eyes are a mesmerising ocean from this distance, like the sea reflecting a thunderstorm sky – and you feel like you're being pulled into the cyclone, slowly but surely, as your body instinctually moves closer to him.

His face holds an almost pained expression, "What are you doing to me?" he whispers, eyes fluttering close.

Just half a step more and you'd be pressed entirely up against him, just half a step more and you would—

*CRASH*

The sound of something falling right outside the bedroom door makes you both jump apart immediately like your bodies were on fire, they definitely felt like it.

You hear hushed murmurs outside the door and you're sure Anakin hears it too, as you both sneak a look at each other then immediately avert your gazes again.

This time you clear your throat, "I'm gonna.." you awkwardly gesture towards the door with one hand, still refusing to meet his eyes but catching his nod in the periphery of your vision. You walk to the bedroom door, pausing right before it to take a deep breath, trying to shake off whatever haze Anakin had put you in.

That was another thing. Did Anakin know some black magic or something? What had taken over you? What sort of spell had he put on you? And without your permission? Damn him.

This time when you open the door it actually is Manu, and Krish as well, though you can't help but raise a brow at how you find them – Krish, kneeling on the floor in front of the door with a large plastic bag hanging from his hands that covers half his face while Manu is stood beside him with a bent elbow resting on his head like a support, her other arm on her hip as she gives you a suspiciously toothy grin.

"Heyyyy Y/N—" she chirps.

You narrow your eyes.

"—we got ya some sweet treats," and Krish immediately extends his hands forward, the plastic bag swinging with force. You can't help but snort at the sight.

Anakin had walked up behind you now and you tried really hard to be indifferent to the feeling of his chest against your back, but the past 5? 10? 15 minutes? How long had it been? For a moment it had felt like time had stopped in that room and now you didn't know how long it had been since Manu and Krish had left the house. Had they heard the both of you? Worse, had they seen the both of you?

'Seen what?' you chastise yourself. It's not like you were– like you.. were... But your face starts heating up at the memory so you immediately take a step to the side, away from Anakin as much as you could in that tiny doorway.

Manu and Krish notice this and share a concerned look that you both miss.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Anakin speaks up, tilting his head towards Krish's kneeling form.

"Uh... you know.. just checking– just checking for uh.."

"For the safety pin! I dropped a safety pin.." Manu butts in, immediately pretending to look for something on the floor before looking back at you, "I– uh, I dropped a safety pin somewhere and you know.. wouldn't want someone to step on it so.."

"Oh, I'll help you look for it then—" You go to kneel down as well but Manu rushes forward to stop you.

"Oh no, that's alright.. we uh– we realised that I probably accidentally kicked it under that cupboard," she said pointing to a small storage thing to the side with Krish nodding along fervently.

"Oh.. okay." You step to the side as Anakin extends his hand to Krish to help him up.

Manu takes the bag containing the box of sweets and hands it over to you, "Why don't we all eat something and then we'll head out, yeah? Y/N, why don't you and Anakin take these to the kitchen? Krish and I will be down in a minute."

You and Anakin look at each other from the corner of your eyes but immediately look different ways when your gazes meet.

"Um yeah..okay, sure, whatever... let's go" and you start making your way towards the steps, down to the kitchen on the ground floor, Anakin having no option but to follow after stalling for a few seconds.

Once you and Anakin are out of earshot Manu immediately turns to Krish with a worried look, "Why were they like that? Do you think something happened?"

Krish looks towards the steps that you had just climbed down, "I don't know Aamani.. I told you this might not be a good idea.." he too had a frown on his face.

She sighs, "Look I know okay? But I have this gut feeling– there's still hope.. I mean look–" she gestured towards the ground floor, "Y/N didn't say no to going to the kitchen with Anakin," she turns back to Krish with a pleading look, "she wouldn't have agreed if she was so against it. You remember last year, right?"

Krish nods in response, though with a slight grimace.

"Exactly. If she really still hated him so much she would never even be in the same room as him. And she's the kind of person who doesn't much hide what she thinks."

"—which comes with its own set of problems," Krish adds.

"Hey! Your best friend isn't a saint either. He was the one who started all this, just because he was too immature to simply accept and act on his feelings like a normal person."

Krish makes a clicking sound with his tongue, "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure it was your best friend who started it." he shakes his head definitively, "And while Ani can be immature at times—"

Seeing Manu's 'at times? oh really?' expression he backtracks, "Fine. Anakin can be immature a lot of times but YN isn't exactly guilt-free either."

Aamani scoffs, "Last time I checked, she wasn't the one to—"

"Okay! Amani meri jaan– listen I really don't want to fight you on this. I agree to your plans because I believe in you and we're a team. I don't want whatever's going on between them to come between us and disturb our peace." He takes her hands in his to kiss them, "So can we please not argue?"

And how could she not immediately melt into his arms?

But as she's got her arms around him she launches her sneak attack – the good ol' 'bend your boyfriend with the sweetest voice with the promise of something even sweeter later on' trick.

"...so that means you'll help me execute the next step of the plan right?"

Krish lets out a 'tired single mom' sigh, "Tell me why I'm not surprised that you've already got the next step planned?" though it's more of a rhetorical question.

"Because you're the bestest boyfriend and a reallyyy good friend to both YN and Anakin that's why you'll help me help them?" this time she pulls back to hit him with the full force of puss-in-boots eyes looking directly into his.

"Oof, you use unfair tactics, darling." He shakes his head, grabbing her hand again to lead her to the stairs. "So, what's the next step, O Great Queen of Schemes?"

"I'm glad you asked– my dearest Maharaja, I'm glad you asked." Their voices fading as they make their way down.

This scene inspired the bedroom scene.

*Atithi devo bhava - the guest is god *Shaitan ka baccha - son of the devil/devil's child. So 'atithi shaitan ka baccha' – the guest is the son of the devil.

dividers by @saradika-graphics

A/n: I know this somewhat reads like a crack fic with absolutely no logic but I wasn't in the mood to write anything too serious.

(I wrote this in 2 nights after finishing a show in the aftermath of which I was left with the desolate feeling of having to face reality again :/ so I thought back to the fictional boyfriends we go :D )

So I'm sorry if this isn't what y'all wanted from the 2nd part.. tho maybe we'll still get to see them dance soon? 👀

ps: I am confusion?? about the title of this – I suck at naming fics can you tell? (╥ ᴗ ╥) if u have better suggestions pls do share!

I'm open to any ideas or suggestions that y'all would like to see in the next part so till then

Toodles.

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin imagine #hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader #anakin skywalker fluff #star wars #desi reader #anakin fluff #slow burn #sam monroe #sam monroe x reader #hayden christensen smut #miel works #payal universe

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nacreousor · 3 months ago

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rambling a chunk of initial reactions of the new ep. episode 14 spoilers below the cut!

With my Whitaker blinders on - offering his hand to Robby, pulling him to his feet, only to get shoved (he barely touches him. he puts the idea of pressure and Whitaker retreats and it's so beautiful and sad) was put in there just for me. Breaking news, Dr Robby manhandles my dampest blorbo for the umpteenth time. Whitaker being the one to find Dr Robby was perfect (and not just because I'm Whitaker trash). For the one to see him at his lowest (besides David..the double-sided whump in THAT scene O my heart..) to be a new student that has just met him was likely Robby's best possible outcome for being found. I think if Dana or Abbot or Langdon went in there first it would have been too many flavours in the breakdown soup. Robby not speaking with David at all was deliciously miserable. Cruel hat on - dwelling on the possibility that Langdon comforted David while praising Robby within ear/eyeshot on purpose to get back in his good graces. The reaction after of Robby grabbing/steering Whitaker again in the hallways just to be like please tell me you didn't mention that to anyone, hell ya. The counter reaction of ohgodnowhatnever - helll ya. Dr Robby told everyone to bury their emotions (because it's clearly working so well for him) and Whitaker said bet. Whitaker was also fully attempting to just sneak around that whole encounter. Love an emotionally intelligent individual who avoids emotional confrontations at all cost. Robby not being religious but being low enough to pray/recite is such a good gut punch. Rock bottom, baby, calling out to the idea that any god might save him. That's the good stuff. Whitaker being from a very religious small town in a very religious state, reciting scripture, then clarifying that he studied Theology is very interesting. He recognizes Robby reciting a Jewish prayer, offers a recited different religion back to him, and then doesn't tie it with church or personal affiliation, but his education - that is an angle I'm going to have to get my fingers into. Santos de-icing as the shift goes on, checking in on Whitaker after going to the morgue room. Did she pick up on a subtle shift of him being uncomfortable after the Robby exchange or was she checking in just because? She put the Langdon pieces together in a snap on her first day, how perceptive to other people's emotions is she? Considering what she's dropped of her childhood, it's likely that she's learned how to absorb and predict the emotions and micro-tells of everyone around her. I'm down so bad for her. Gloria having a little breakdown of her own by being upset over the lack of order and the repercussions she will have to deal with was a nice touch. Robby's snapback was warranted too, but the helplessness of an exec in the face of a mass casualty event in the literal ER is another angle of everyone being so shaken while clinging to their professions.

Dr. Ellis having a kind little moment with Santos and then tone-switching to too damn bad, answer the question 👀 OH? Someone getting Santos to visible soften and then flicking the whip a little bit? I'm fully on board with this dynamic.

Dr Mohan being stuck in that back and forth do it, don't do it, argument while emergency heart surgery is actively happening was my Victoria/Utah embarrassing moment. Why did they have to stick her in the middle of that. Baby girl you did not deserve that. I'm not getting into the measles bit now mama I'm TIRED other than I love vaccines and modern medicine, and Dr Robby could have done a lot more yelling there. Can we get a pulse check on Mel. We've seen her burning out and becoming less expressive but this was a different kind of beatdown. Robby coming in to say 'it's okay and good to be emotional' was a brilliant little missing the point. I don't think Mel has any issues with expressing her emotions, I think she's drowning under the endless onslaught of them that's happened throughout the day. She didn't need an 'it's okay to cry' from someone else having a breakdown, she needs a 'here's how to handle it' and so does he. I didn't think David was the shooter, but I was a bit worried they were going to explain what his list of girls' names was in a way that would excuse his behaviour entirely and downplay the warning signs he was emitting. I appreciated how things with him and his mother and the hostility with Dr McKay is still on a very miserable note. Speaking of McKay - AAA. We knew something along these lines was coming but the degrading aspect of being cuffed in front of her coworkers after working her ass off for so long is evil. If she doesn't get to sleep in her own bed tonight we're all going to riot. I need to see the village rise up and eat the cops in next week's opening scene.

Also BRAD DOURIF !!!! 🎉 🎉 We were so well fed this week.

#the pitt #the pitt spoilers #the pitt hbo #the pitt max #the pitt episode 14 #s1 e14 8:00 PM #I didn't think I'd get to watch it until tonight so that's a blessing

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exn0bis · 8 months ago

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So. Completed Veilguard. I have lots of thoughts.

Regardless, I don't think I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said.

For my part, I went in with the expectation it was going to be bad. I was pleasantly surprised by some things, certainly by the technical aspects, but it fell about where I expected in most other ways.

But first, the good.

It was extremely refreshing to see a AAA game actually release so well optimized for once. I'm running an older system at this point, with a GTX 1080 TI. Even so, out of the box, I was able to run things on the Medium preset perfectly. After some troubleshooting the latest Nvidia driver, and updating the games native upscaling to FSR 3.x, I was running things on a mix of High & Ultra with minimal to no frame drops. This was way beyond what I expected, and made the play experience more enjoyable. While I do think that, like many games in the past few years, there is some over reliance on upscaling to make it look its best, Veilguard still maintains excellent visual fidelity without it.

On that note, the game is objectively gorgeous, regardless of how one feels about the art style (which I did personally like, too); I'm also extremely impressed how they adapted a simulated strand hair system into something playable in real-time without it being overly taxing. Would love to know the technical breakdown for that specifically, but either way, I would not be surprised if we start to see more games released with something similar going forwards.

Veilguard very much proved you can make something look gorgeous and still have it be playable on more than just the latest and greatest systems, and I hope it will encourage more studios to focus on how they optimize and implement their work.

I also found the general gameplay mechanics to be, overall, enjoyable. I was hesitant going in, as I'm 1) bad at games, and 2) from a CRPG background, so the real-time style of combat is not generally something I'm good at. I was also concerned about the stripping down of party mechanics, etc, that was a big part of the previous games. And while I do wish the party tactics had been a little more varied, I ultimately found combat fun and responsive, and that they struck a reasonable balance between simplicity with party, and overly tactical. It did have way too many buttons & combos for me, but that is definitely a me being bad at games thing and not a fault in the game.

I also was extremely impressed with how smoothly the game transitioned from gameplay to cutscenes, and I really liked the more open maps/elimination of excess loading screens.

Unfortunately, that is about all the praise I have for the game.

I'm not really going to talk too much about the complete disregard for the world state built by previous titles, because I think all that needs to be said about that has been. I agree that, from a development standpoint, they needed to find a way to simplify things. However, going so totally scorched earth that character creation literally states "you don't need to customize your previous choices if you don't want to because it doesn't really affect anything" only serves to insult and infuriate the very dedicated player base.

It's very clear that the goal of Veilguard is to wipe the slate clean for the purposes of rebranding and bringing in new players for future installments/capital. Considering the mass layoffs at Bioware, and EA's generally established business practices, this sort of tactic isn't really surprising, no, and was truthfully only a matter of time. But that doesn't stop it from feeling like a slap in the face.

That being established, the total disregard for existing lore, world state, impact of previous titles, glaring plot holes within Veilguard itself, etc, is unfortunately to be expected. No point in picking it apart individually, as it's all just a symptom of the goal of a clean slate reboot.

Which isn't to say I wasn't cursing at my screen by the end of it, but I digress.

I had hoped I could at least enjoy the game as something new, turn off the part of my brain that associated it with Dragon Age and just play it as a stand alone thing. This even worked for the first chapter or so, as I was really enjoying the exploration and gameplay. And then I started recruiting more people. And the main plot started to really get going. And turning my brain off suddenly stopped helping.

The writing is awful, full stop. It's all incredibly surface level and sanitized, and it treats the player with such ineptitude I started to feel like the game had actual disdain for me for trying to play and enjoy it. If I had a dollar for every time an NPC explicitly repeated a plot point or goal immediately after a cutscene that had already painfully spelled it out for me ended, I would have recouped the price of the game three times over. I get that reading comprehension is at an all time low, but holy shit. I paid for a sweeping fantasy narrative, not a degradation simulator that treats me like a moron.

If we manage to put that aside, we're left with a narrative that spends every spare second trying to convince you of how high the stakes are and how important your relationships will be to get through it... and then never actually manages to deliver on any of it. The game repeatedly shies away from showing you anything actually bad, or building anything actually meaningful.

Yes, we see the Blight being gross and a few choice deaths, but that's it. The mass devastation we're told is constantly happening all over Thedas? The staggering amounts of death taking place? The oh-so-vile practices and punishments of our main antagonists? Anything and everything that has to do with the extremely prevalent theme of slavery? That all happens off screen, if it happens at all. Somewhere nice and clean and safe for it to exist, sanitized of any tension or emotional impact. I cannot decide if the flagrant pacing issues in the narrative are a product of the missing tension, or their own problem.

And those important relationships we're told about follow the same pattern. Even if we ignore how everyone speaks to each other like they're reading the script of an HR Workplace Togetherness video, their personal stories are devoid of the stakes we are assured they have. I wanted so desperately to care about the things these character's cared about, but I left still unconvinced the character's themselves even gave a shit.

And with a shallow plot comes a shallow character; I felt no attachment to any of them, despite telling myself they'd grow on me as I progressed. Of course, I also didn't dislike any of them, either; I just didn't care, and I find that infinitely more damming.

I think what I find most frustrating is that the potential in the characters is there, at least. They're each interesting concepts with interesting themes, and every so often I'd get a cutscene that actually got me to feel something, to react, and I'd get excited thinking 'oh, this must be when it gets good.' But no, as soon as you're out of the cutscene, it's situation normal again. No more feelings, no more tension. That all happened off screen, again. Any emotional turmoil the character in question was in moments before is now gone in favor of Group Togetherness.

Rook is no exception to any of this, either; exactly as tepid as the rest, but coated with an even less polished illusion of substance. This is not helped by the fact that the game makes an active effort to remind you that Solas is the actual main character of this story. Rook, you as the player, are just sort of... there.

The headcanons I've seen from fans do more justice to this entire cast than the game ever does.

In summary, it's sad, I think. It's ultimately what I expected, but it's sad. Many of us have a very deep attachment to Dragon Age, the story and the community that built up around it. I literally met my wife through the Dragon Age fandom. I learned to explore some deeply personal things about myself through how I related to the story and characters because of how much depth and nuance there was to examine. To see all that reduced to what amounts to a very prettily polished turd is just... yeah. Sad.

I'm really happy that there are people who have enjoyed the game. Genuinely. I hope they'll continue to do so. Myself, I'll probably still go on a screenshot binge and enjoy how pretty it looks, too. But Veilguard is very much the end of Dragon Age, for me. And I'm sad about it.

#datv spoilers #i probably won't post about it too much as i didn't feel much attachment for the characters or story this time around (including rook lol)#but for when I do post I'll be sure to tag it properly as i do want people to be able to enjoy things freely #will also be sure to use the following tags when appropriate #bioware critical #veilguard critical #like this post lol oh and ill put things under a read more too #like legit its fine to just let people enjoy things lets all try to remember that too etc etc #dragon age the veilguard

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