#I'm also just have a lot of breakdowns as I consider a lot of new ways of thinking

[kimabutch]

People at work: You just started seminary, right? How's that going?

Me, recovering from the eighteenth time this week that I've been shaken to my core and had to reevaluate my entire way of looking at the world: Oh it's really fun so far!

[mvjerbs]

Tried writing again but I'm still shit at it. Still hope you enjoy it though. “Out of all the things I had left in the stadium, I left my phone. Great job Ken! Great job.” Kenji said in an annoyed tone as he drives through the streets back to the stadium.

“Is it still in the locker room Mina?” Kenji asks.

“Yes Ken, your phone’s location has not changed for the past few minutes. It is still there” Mina answered.

“Well, at least no one tried to take it away” Kenji sighed before speeding up. He wants to be at home with Emi soon.

Kenji arrives and immediately headed for the locker rooms, as he got in he opened his locker where he found his phone in the exact same place Mina located it.

“Alright, time to finally head back” Kenji said. He closed his locker and was about to leave when he suddenly hears something. Kenji stopped for a moment to listen, the stadium was thankfully quiet around the time so sound echoed through the hall. It was a little difficult to hear but it sounded like… grunting? Curious, Kenji decided to investigate and followed the source of the noise. As he got closer, the noises became louder as well as the sound of curses and something hitting the ground. He eventually reached the field and discovers the source of the noise. It was Juro Agamatsu, his rival, it seems like he was practicing his pitches. Kenji watched as Juro throws another ball before grunting in frustration and picking up another ball. Confused, Kenji squints to see what Juro was aiming at. It was a bottle, it was placed on top of a chair. It seemed like he was missing all of his pitches with the other baseballs lying around not too far from the target.

Kenji turns to Juro who takes position and aims once again only to miss. “DAMN IT” He yelled out as he grabs another ball.

“C’mon Juro focus. FOCUS.” He said to himself before throwing another ball and missing again.

“You’re not becoming worse, you have to prove him wrong.” He muttered, walking over to pick up two balls and taking position again.

“Focus, Focus!” He misses again. With the last ball in his hand he positions himself once more, aimed at the bottle and…..he missed.

Juro let out a frustrated yell as he lashes his anger out on the basket of baseballs that are now scattered around him. This scene reminded Kenji of himself when he was still new, it made him internally cringe and feel bad for his rival. Then Juro stopped, Kenji watched in worry as he wondered what was going on. Then, he heard it. It was quiet at first but it slowly got louder.

Juro was crying.

Kenji never expected to see the day that his rival would breakdown, and yet there he was sobbing. Kenji sensed the vulnerability of the situation and decide to leave to respect the man’s privacy and give him space. As Kenji walks away, he hears Juro grunting and throwing once more, it seemed like he was practicing through his breakdown. Kenji stops for a moment, feeling bad for the Pitcher before deciding to turn around and help the poor man out.

Kenji stood by the side watching as he thinks about how to approach Juro in his vulnerable state.

‘Should he call out to him? Should he just wait for the right moment to let him know of his presence? WHAT SHOULD I DO?’ Kenji was torn, he wasn’t what to do but settled on letting his presence be known. Kenji takes a deep breath steps out of his hiding stop, only to end up hitting his phone on the wall he hid from and dropping it which created a lot of noise.

Kenji winced, that was not a good start. He slowly opened his eyes and lifted up his head to meet Juro’s surprised face staring back at him. They stared at each other for a few moments before Juro’s face shifted to anger.

“What are you doing here Sato. Eavesdropping on people now? That’s pretty low even for someone like you don’t you think?” Juro said, immediately changing his personality as if his break down never happened. Kenji was impressed but also worried considering how well he immediately changed.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping you Juro. I just happened to be around that’s all.” Kenji said, holding back the urge to reply with a snarky remark.

“Hah! Yeah right.” Juro scoffed, picking another ball off the ground.

“Mr. ‘I’m-so-much-better’ Sato, is being such a nic-“ Juro was cut off when Kenji raised his hand, signaling him to stop.

“Timeout.” Kenji said. Juro furrowed his eye brows in confusion.

“Just- can we just pause the trash talking for now? I don’t think we both are in the mood for that” Kenji explained. Juro looked at him in surprise. They were silent for a moment, before Juro scoffed, silently obliging to the request and returning to his practice.

Kenji was surprised to say the least, he was expecting some insult or comeback instead of obedience, but he appreciated it nonetheless. Kenji went over and sat on a chair as he watched Juro practice. He tries to aim for the bottle once again but fails and he yells in frustration. “ Hey uh. How about a little break huh?” Kenji nervously asked, he isn’t sure how to start a conversation with Juro but he hoped that was good enough.

“I don’t need a break. I need to practice. And don’t talk to me, I’m trying to focus.” Juro answered coldly. Welp, looks like it didn’t.

“Wow, ok Mr. push over. I was just trying to help” Kenji replied in an annoyed tone.

“Yeah, well guess what? I don’t need help. I’ve reached this far without it and it’s too late to ask for it.” Answered Juro as he picks up another ball. ‘Great, this guy is hardheaded.’ Kenji thought, suppressing the urge to throw an insult at the man before trying again.

“Listen, I know how you feel-“ Kenji starts when he was cut off by Juro’s sarcastic laugh.

“Oh really? Do you now?” Juro said, turning to face Kenji with anger evident on his face.

“Why don’t you tell me then huh?” he says as he slowly makes his way to Kenji. Kenji sensed the incoming fight but remained seated as Juro loomed over him.

“Did you go through doubt? That you’re suddenly terrible at something that you thought you believed you were good at? Or are you just saying that just to get me to open up, Huh? Tell me Sato, TELL ME!” Juro asked, his voice getting louder with each question, but so does Kenji’s anger.

“Yes Agamatsu, YES! I know how you feel because I went through the same frustrations as you!” Kenji snapped back as he stood up. Juro was taken back. He did push the man’s buttons and he got the expected result, but something tells him this was real.

“I was literally struggling in my first season here. It even got to the point where my coach was going to trade me off to another team! Years being called the best player, and I was suddenly told to be traded and that hurt me!” Kenji vented. He didn’t plan to do that and was hoping he could’ve kept that event a secret, then he saw Juro’s shocked expression and his lack of response. It was too late to take it back, might as well just continue. Kenji took a deep breath and let out a sigh, calming down his anger.

“I know how you feel, because I acted the same way you did earlier.” He explained. He looked at Juro and noticed the anger that was slowly disappearing as well. They both stood there in silence for a moment.

‘So much for being the bigger person.’ Kenji thought, he was about to leave when Juro moved, grabbed a water bottle and sat down. Kenji watched him the whole time, wondering what he has in mind. None of them spoke for 3 grueling long minutes before Juro spoke.

“You know, now that I think about it….. You were pretty terrible back then.” Juro said. Kenji scoffed at the memory, sitting back down on the chair he sat earlier.

 “Yeah, I was.” Kenji agreed.

“So… How did you do it? How did you over come it?” Juro asked. Kenji paused for a moment, thinking on how to explain the events he experienced without revealing that he is currently taking care of a kaiju baby before speaking.

“ I took a step back and asked for help.” He answered. Juro turned to face Kenji as he listens with interest.

“The day when I had my breakdown, I decided to call my friend and my dad to talk to. They gave me advices and offered to help. I was like you back then. I felt like I could manage on my own and refused the help. I had to learn the hard way and eventually got better.” Kenji continues, smiling fondly at the memories that came to his mind.

“Doing things through frustration will only cloud your focus. So take a step back, talk to others and don’t be afraid to ask for help.” Kenji explained. He looked up to face Juro with a soft and friendly smile. Juro stared back at him, contemplating on what Kenji had said before letting out a sigh.

“Alright, I’ll take your advice” Juro said, leaning back on his chair.

“So tell me, what are you really doing here at this time?” He asked once more. Raising a brow he faced Kenji.

“I told you, I left my phone back at my locker and I went back to grab it.” Kenji answered.

“Really? Out of all the things you left, you left your phone?” Juro asked, a smirk forming on his lips as he looks at Kenji.

“Ugh, I don’t need to hear this right now.” Groaned Kenji as he buried his face into his hands, this earned a laughter from Juro. Both continued to talk, each moment spent learning about the other and discovering some things that would have never been known from their rivalry.

“So you practice here every after game?” Kenji asked.

“Not really, I have a favorite place to practice. Its nice and quiet. I would practice there for hours under the sun. Developed a sweet tan from it too.” Juro said, lifting up one of his sleeve to reveal the tan line he developed all while playfully flexing his arm.

“That sounds narcissistic.” Kenji commented, laughing when Juro gave him an offended look.

“I believe its called being confident.” Juro replies back. Huffing in fake annoyance only to smile as Kenji continues to laugh.

“So… you feeling better?” Kenji asked, wiping a tear from his eyes after he had calmed down from his laughter.

“Honestly, yeah. I do.” Juro admits with a smile which Kenji returns.

“You wanna try and practice again?” Kenji suggests. He picks up a ball from the ground and hands it to Juro who accepts the ball. Kenji watched as Juro stood and walked over to the spot where he practiced. Juro clasped the ball in his hand as he stares at the bottle, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He raised his leg and charged up his pitch. Juro opened his eyes and in one swift motion, threw the ball and...He did it. He managed to his the bottle. Juro let out an estatic roar as he celebrates the success, Kenji joins in as he cheered from the side.

“There we go! That was good! Always wondered how you do those throws.” Kenji said as he walks over to where Juro was.

“When your dad sees your potential at something he’s passionate about, he forces you to get better at it.”

“Damn, he must be really supportive to get you to be this far.”

“Yeah…totally.” Juro answered with a slight shift in his tone. Kenji noticed the slight change in emotion, but before he could say anuthing Juro decided to change the topic.

“But you are a different type of impressive too you know. People always say its hard to see any of my pitches, but you could easily hit mine whenever you up against me.” Juro said, turning to Kenji with an impressed smile.

“Some techniques that I learned. Its why I’m the ‘Best Living Player’.” Kenji shrugged with a smug smile on his face.

“Now that was narcissistic.” Juro commented, smiling as he watch Kenji be offended at what he had said

“Hey!-“ Kenji was about to explain himself when he was cut off by his watch beeping. He looked at his watch and his eyes widen, suddenly looking panicked. Emi was awake and was throwing a tantrum.

“Oh shoot, I’ve been gone for too long. I-I gotta go.” Kenji said, turning to rush back to his bike and reach home before Emi’s tantrum got worse. He doesn’t want to repeat what happened last time.

“So Timeout is over?” Juro asked causing Kenji to turn and reply back

“Yep! Timeout is over.” Kenji said.

“We should really do this sometimes, cause not gonna lie, being rivals can be tiring.” Juro suggest. Kenji paused for a moment to process what he had said before smiling at him.

“It’s a promise. See you tomorrow Agamatsu!” Kenji said, waving at Juro before jogging to the exit.

“See you, Kenny boy” Juro yelled, smirking as Kenji turned around once again.

“Tryhard!”

“Eavesdropper!”

“I WASN’T EAVESDROPPING!” Kenji yelled back. He could hear Juro’s laughter echoing the halls causing him to smile. Maybe they should have more timeouts.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I’m always curious about Kankri being redeemed in any way (maybe because he can become the sufferer). Obviously to do so would be simply punting him to reality and force him to live it, no help from his shoddily-made support structure. But I’m curious how you would go about doing it

Given their role thematically in the story, I'm actually usually not on the train of "fully redeem the dancestors", but I do like giving them some catharsis and reckoning, a place in the fight against LE. One last chance to do something good with their lives/afterlives before the end, and a(n implied) new start as wigglers born into the new universe.

So to that end, in my head, the "turnaround point" for Kankri - the inciting incident that makes him have a mental breakdown that results in him finally taking some accountability for his shitty actions - is having a conversation with Eridan.

In my head, the Dancestor reckoning happens gradually, alongside a series of retcons where the dead trolls are brought back one or two at a time, and deal with their emotional issues a little more with every cast member added back into the party.

The TL;DR series of events is: Terezi asks to bring back Vriska, Vriska asks John to punch out Tavros before she can kill him, Tavros's influence makes Gamzee ask for Equius and Nepeta to be brought back, Equius asks for a redux of Aradiabot, Aradiabot grabs John by the arm and gets him to undo her death and Sollux's fall into depression, Sollux asks for Feferi to be brought back, and then Karkat asks for Eridan.

We know from (Vriska) that the Game Over/Alpha Timeline characters still exist post-Retcon, so those characters would also be continuing their character arcs, just in the afterlife prepping for the LE fight. For example, I think Meenah's reckoning should be delivered by (Karkat) - after having had so long to reflect on his own failures as a leader, he would be perfectly poised to scream at her for hers, which would also serve to make this confrontation a final thesis for Karkat as a whole - what leadership means (caring about your team) - and a conclusion to the Meenah/Karkat dynamic.

So when I say that Kankri needs to talk to Eridan, I mean Eridan and not (Eridan). Full character development, all his teammates are alive, taken full accountability and responsibility for his actions, team good guy Eridan. And as I noted in this essay, Eridan with full character development is actually more annoying than regular Eridan, because he's also the "Devastating: Worst Guy You Know Made An Excellent Point" guy. In bulleted form:

He's still an advocate for murder. Murder is literally what kept his friends alive long enough to play the game, and playing the game itself involves genocide, so he would be the Token Evil Teammate who reminds the team that, hey, murder is an option - and enemies will be considering it. Even at his very best, he's going to struggle with empathy and have an extremely blase view of violence and murder - those were literally just facts of his life through his most formative years.

This also makes him a TOTAL downer, as he's the tempering voice that reminds them that decisions have consequences, and utopia requires sacrifices, and nothing is ever worth fighting for that won't eventually need to be fought for. Like I said, worst guy you know, excellent points. In fact, he's out here volunteering to do the murdering when the situation calls, if nobody else wants to get their fins dirty. He's really good at it.

He's still an idiot who doesn't listen to people. He's perfectly fine at taking orders, but having a conversation with him is still really difficult. I feel like if you make Eridan too smart, mentally flexible, and socially aware, you lose a lot of his Eridan-ness, and I think these characters, fully realized, are more of themselves, not less. I also don't know how you could reasonably expect to fix these traits. He's just Like That.

He drops his fake pro-Empire stuff, because that was basically all just empty posturing in the first place, but...

Now he's a pretentious-ass hipster who judges you for liking Trollor Swift and Troll Marvel. Given that Jake's indiscriminate taste is actually linked to his deficit of Hope (he has little conviction, he's wishy-washy), Eridan coming into full Prince of Hope regalia involves getting even more annoying about his taste in media (shittons of conviction, refusal to budge).

He is also a wizard. He will not shut up about this.

And finally, I think he'd still be out here using slurs. First of all, because it'd be really funny, because he's literally not casteist, but second, because there's two types of "it's equality" - the kind where nobody ever says anything offensive, and the kind where "offensive" stops being a relevant concept because true equality has been achieved. Think of the discourse surrounding the reclamation of slurs IRL, or how the "it's equality" meme gets used - this idea that words can be stripped of power by changing the context of who's saying them, or that objectification/discrimination stop being problems if they're applied evenly across the board, instead of limited to specific groups. I think that this is the exact type of nuanced idea that Homestuck would tackle and its fandom would get incensed about, which is why I think it should stay.

Eridan's role, thus, becomes a sort of "unpleasant truths" kind of character. Violence, both physical and verbal, is unpleasant as hell, and the natural instinct is to avoid it. The problem is, in any true discussion of what society should look like, they're topics that can't be avoided, and are even sometimes necessary not just to recognize, but to utilize (no revolution is bloodless, etc.). Eridan - an extreme personality - is going to represent the uncomfortable extreme of the debate. And by that I mean he's going to be saying slurs and talking about murders and is still going to be unquestionably a force for good.

The reason I'm going so in-depth into this is because Kankri very much represents the opposite: using "polite" language and couching it in the language of courtesy, activism, and liberal ideology, Kankri hides - and worse, spreads - his classist, ableist, misogynistic, puritan beliefs. He enforces the class divide and actively works against his teammates' best interests.

He whines that the lower blood castes should stop complaining about oppression, because others have it worse. He tells the team feminist that misogyny isn't real, then slut shames her. He tells the guy with brain damage that he's making other neurodivergent/TBI people look bad, exacerbates Latula's shame around her inability to smell, and actively guilt trips Cronus into ignoring his epiphany and self-reflection. Kankri is only an activist in that he actively makes everybody worse.

But why does he act like this? Well, it's due to the fact that he was probably culled, and on-sight at that, like Karkat would've been if anyone found out about his mutant blood. Kankri doesn't seem to have a symbol or lusus, either, two thinks Karkat only had because the Signless's followers prepped them for him, so the chances are very high that Kankri was culled since he was hatched. Given the way he discusses culling with Latula, and viciously despises being mothered by Porrim, it's clear he has some really complicated feelings regarding having his agency dismissed. Thus, his work to hamper his team - at least some of which is wilful on his part, as he'll outright cast aspersions on Horuss or Cronus's beliefs for being "imaginary" even as he encourages them to commit to them - is motivated by something quite simple: power, attention, entitlement, and control.

When he goes on his grand lectures, he frequently slips and reveals that he sees himself as a great, unquestionable spiritual leader, often trying to place other characters in subordinate positions to himself - Karkat is his "pupil," and his monologues, I mean, sermons, I mean, diatribes, are spoken as if from a position of authority. He outright tells Meenah that this is what he believes himself to be.

It's a very Seer sort of problem - both that of hubris and that of willful blindness. If you chart out the actual "end goal" of his beliefs, it appears to be a world in which Kankri himself is both the biggest victim and most important voice in the room. He regularly disparages those with actual disadvantages (Damara, Porrim, Mituna) while playing up the false problems of those who don't actually have them (Horuss, Cronus). Those with disadvantages should have their voices amplified - except lowbloods should stop whining and misogyny isn't real. And those with real power should check their privilege - but won't somebody think of the poor highbloods who have ~emotional problems~? Kankri will, and all the highbloods need to do is bend the knee and treat Kankri as their specialest boy.

In short, he's using his intellect, rhetoric, and forceful personality for selfish, emotionally-driven pursuits. The actual substance of his arguments is ephemeral and contradictory because that's the trick - the point is NOT to further equality, but to verbally browbeat his conversation partner into submission. In other words, you can't beat Kankri in a regular debate, because the moment you start trying to actually engage in a debate with him, he wins. The moment you start lunging at his arguments, he's got you in his red-texted labyrinth. The moment you start treating his points like they merit genuine discussion, you're in the pews of Kankri's church, and he's up at the pulpit.

And Eridan is the destroyer of faith. He's also an idiot who doesn't listen to people.

I don't really know exactly how it would play out, but I know in my heart. In the pit of my soul. That Eridan would call Kankri several slurs, (correctly) point out that Kankri's celibacy is stupid because it's clear he has feelings for Cronus and Latula, (correctly) point out that his pro-equality stuff is stupid because he calls violets "Royal-V"s, (incorrectly) accuse Kankri of hitting on him, (correctly) point out that the entire point of a slur is that it hurts and insults the person it's used on, (correctly) call Kankri several more slurs, (correctly) point out that Kankri just wants attention, especially from highbloods, (???) go on an unhinged rant (maybe more) about being a wizard, being a murderer, and being a murderer wizard, (???) insult Kankri's taste in music, and finish it up by (correctly) revealing that Eridan and Karkat are moirails who make out sometimes.

I think Kankri would start crying.

[kibbles-bits]

Question, what DOES Val find attractive about Vox?

I'm going to assume this is for the Heaven's Best AU because I… wouldn't know the answer to the canon one? (though Val's audition sheet including the information of sleeping only "with 10's… and Vox" means he likes Vox and doesn't consider him actually attractive. Love it. Hilarious.)

So, what does Valentino in Heaven's Best find attractive about Vox?

His personality and he's mad about it.

That's the short answer! The rest of this is just me yapping.

He finds other things attractive soon afterwards but it's the personality and character traits that got him and he won't admit it.

Canon!Val wouldn't like HB!Vox, but HB!Val is a little different.

He can not relax.

With no partners, Val's had to lean on his more violent traits to keep control of his territory so there wasn't much time to relax. If he wanted to go out he always has to keep an eye out for other demons who might try to attack him and he's lived like that for most of his years in Hell.

He allies with and eventually befriends Velvette - which is still a recent development. Fear for Velvette's safety plus preserving his delicate new image she's built for him means he can't be as violent as he was before which stresses him out a lot. He can't really bring himself to trust anyone else.

So that's where he's at when Vox joins the picture.

Seeing the Exorcists being killed on TV was something he found interesting - it made them feel more like people he can have sex with so color him interested when he hears two angelic beings have moved down to hell. He means to proposition one politely, whichever one he runs into first. He knows he can't force it. Not only is Vox an angel and naturally more powerful, but he's allied with a seraphim and the rulers of Hell. Val talks shit but he's not going to risk their wrath, especially when whatever happens to him will, by extension, affect Velvette. He's not immediately physically attracted to Vox so after failing to make a deal, he lets him leave without any trouble. A little miffed about how it went, though.

Later, when Vox has his Oopsie, Val tries to make him feel better about it. Some of it is because seeing an angel have a breakdown sits wrong with him, but the rest of it is because he wants to see how much use he can get out of Vox now that he's so delicate. Maybe get him to kick Angel out of the hotel. He has blackmail, after all. How would Emily react to her BFF going on a little murder spree?

Except before Val can even hint at the blackmail, Vox threatens him first the moment they're alone in Val's home. Which is bold, considering Val just saw how 'well' he took his first murders. But then a murderer is a murderer and Vox is distraught, who knows what he'll do? Val decides provoking him isn't worth it and just… let's him vent it out. And it turns out he's kinda hot in a weird way when he's venting and when he grabs him and demeans him and--

ANYWAY Val promises not to tell a soul what happened.

And Vox imprints on him? Weirdly? He doesn't understand why (yet) but as long as Valentino doesn't intentionally harm him or Emily, Vox is a pretty amiable guy. He won't smite him for fun and he minds his own business. Doesn't try to tell him how awful he is. He says how much better he is than Val, yet is still the one following him around so Val just finds that funny rather than offensive. It's cute, how dumb he is sometimes.

The two eventually sleep together.

Vox isn't a Sinner, he has no interest in Val's power or territory, he doesn't even live in Hell, he hates it there. So Val doesn't have to worry about any 'power grabs' or Vox trying to take advantage of him. He can't push Vox around (Vox pushes back HARD) and also doesn't feel too threatened by him. Val finds out it takes a lot to actually push Vox into committing another Oopsie, so much he doesn't actually see it happen again for a long time. Vox doesn't interfere with his treatment of Angel so, the blackmail? Unnecessary. He starts to trust Vox not to hurt him.

As a Winner who's been in Heaven for like, 50 years, Vox is naturally more friendly than anyone Val's ever personally met in Hell. He's also more eager to just hang out (did you think I was joking?) Vox keeps blabbering to him about all kinds of things and venting and Val actually likes??? what he has to say??? He gets to know Vox very well - what he's really like and things he hasn't told others. Having another person, someone he doesn't own and isn't manipulating, an equal, trust him does things to him (Gee, Val, how come Eternal Damnation let you have TWO friends?)

Vox earns his trust completely one day when he helps him in a territory dispute that had nothing to do with him. Apparently, Vox has been watching him for a long time when he's not with him. People would find that creepy, but Val knows Vox and, yeah, it is, but he likes it because it means Vox cares. And he likes knowing Vox will have his back.

Val is, finally, able to relax when they're together (publicly and privately), and he really values that.

But if you ask him he'd say he's attracted to Vox's screen brightness or his stupid little sweater vest.

[casino-lights]

King Alistair vs Warden Alistair discourse always seems to resurface, like all of the other character-centric discourse, with each resurgence of the dragon age fandom. fandom veterans are probably tired of this by now, but since a lot of new people are playing origins and the old arguments about players making Bad Choices in this rpg are getting rehashed, here's my two cents on this topic in particular. 

I was watching my girlfriend play through some of the early levels in origins when I suddenly had a lot of thoughts about Alistair and she encouraged me to share them. throughout his introduction and his subsequent role in Ostagar and the Wilds, we see Alistair being quick-witted and snappy with his humor, but also very focused and dutiful. we see him being (mostly) respectful and polite, but also fairly confident and surprisingly authoritative considering his behavior later in the game. Alistair is comfortable here in Ostagar, and he's comfortable as a Warden not only under Duncan's command, but also over these new recruits. he doesn't shy away from his role as a mentor, the one who's supposed to show everyone the ropes and keep them on task and on schedule. he kindly yet firmly puts Jory back on track when he stumbles, he takes charge when he finds out the Tower of Ishal has been overrun, and he displays thorough knowledge of both the plan and the original expectations of what would be found in the tower. he's also knowledgeable about Blights and some Warden history, and he takes it upon himself to inform Duncan of Morrigan and Flemeth instead of just letting the player talk like he does later on.

speaking of that scene, Duncan is a bit firm but not angry or mean when he says he tells Alistair not to focus on the fact that Morrigan and Flemeth are likely apostates. he tells Alistair in no uncertain terms that this is not his concern and he needs to return his attention to the task at hand. this is not dissimilar from the way the player can later tell Alistair that people are taking advantage of him and he needs to make sure he's standing up for himself, but I'll get into this more a bit later.

what I'm trying to get at is that when we meet Alistair, he's a little closer to his hardened self than to the chronically unserious and incompetent manchild that Morrigan, DA2 and Inquisition, and some parts of this fandom treat him as. post-Ostagar, even Alistair himself seems to see himself as some class clown who can't do anything right, and characters like Wynne enable this by treating him like an ACTUAL child. while Alistair is almost certainly young, he has already proven shortly after meeting him that he's not even remotely stupid and he can obviously take care of himself. Duncan refers to the player, Jory, and Daveth as Alistair's "charges," showing that Duncan clearly trusts Alistair with a lot of responsibility and the safety and guidance of three strangers. he is far from stupid, he's far from childish, and he's obviously a layered character.

this has been said countless times before but a big problem in every fandom is the slow reduction of characters to one or two notable traits, and Alistair is no exception. I have a theory as to why. we know Duncan's death affected him deeply, but I don't think that alone explains his sudden switch from respecting the player while continuing to guide them and share responsibility as the senior Warden to almost blindly letting them lead him around and acting like if he led for five minutes they'd all die horrible deaths because he's just that incompetent. I think that during the time the player was unconscious in Flemeth's house, Alistair experienced an offscreen breakdown where he retreated behind desperate attempts at humor and making himself seem dumber and sillier to appear less competent in the hopes that someone else would be in charge so he didn't have to. if you think back to what age he was when he last experienced such a sudden, tumultuous, confusing loss of stability, routine, community, and a father figure - Eamon sending him to the Chantry as a child - you might even consider this to be a form of partial age regression. when we see him outside Flemeth's hut, he pleads with the player to not abandon him because he doesn't know what they should do or where they should go. he hasn't had this lack of direction ever since he was sent to the Chantry because after that, they dictated his life until Duncan recruited him and then the Wardens dictated his life. he's terrified and tired and grieving, and he begs us to make the decisions and help him figure out what to do. 

Morrigan gives him some shit for being quiet and sad, and he snaps at her, but otherwise we don't see a lot of that confidence and willingness to stand up for himself after this. I don't often play a character who is openly mean to any of their companions, so I don't really take any of the more dismissive dialogue options toward Alistair, but he's obviously hiding behind his humor and trying to make himself seem insignificant. in one line he even jokes that he'd hide behind his shield instead of his humor but the player would see him behind it. I think he really does just wish he could hide and grieve on his own and wait for someone else to give him a purpose again, and I think that if we actually saw the process of this breakdown from his more comfortable, confident, capable self into the Alistair we get post-Ostagar and pre-Goldanna, fewer people might be coddling Alistair and enabling this unhealthy coping mechanism. I wish the dialogue options to harden him were a bit kinder, but as we saw, Duncan was willing to tell it to Alistair straight up, and maybe that's the directness he needed from the player too. maybe Alistair needed to be told in no uncertain terms, by someone he respects and trusts, that most people he interacts with have some kind of ulterior motive and he needs to be more aware of this and stand up for himself and his beliefs. once he understands this, we can see him shift from reluctantly taking on the role of king because you and Eamon think it would be best to taking on the role of king because he understands it would be best.

bioware basically canonized this firmer, more responsible version of Alistair in their comics and even during some parts of Inquisition. we know King Alistair is their canon, but even though he shows some uncertainty about his ability to be King, we don't see any unwillingness. yet bioware also made the unfathomable decision to simultaneously show Alistair being a confident, capable king and then immediately fuck that growth up by having him look like a bumbling idiot who still doodles on royal documents at the fair age of thirty-something and still doesn't know how dictating a letter works after ten years of ruling Ferelden. they somehow invalidated both of his paths in origins at the same time, and perhaps most frustratingly, they just won't let go of the "swooping is bad" style of writing for him. let him grow. let him be as competent and brave and determined as he is in your comics. his progress has been so inconsistent it's painful.

if it wasn't already obvious, I think the best path for Alistair as a character is to harden him and make him king. he just doesn't get to prove himself as a Warden as much as he does when he's king. he's mostly alone, he doesn't seem to have a great rapport with other Wardens outside of his renown as one of the heroes of the Blight, and he just acts tangibly sadder. this could be because of the fake Calling, sure, but if he was still joking around with us during an actual Blight, I don't see why this event would have him this drained of personality and life, especially because he knows that this is not the real Calling. his line when he's left in the Fade - "tell Morrigan... tell her I just stood there looking foolish" - is another testament to the fact that he has not grown at all from his self-deprecating humor and he still hasn't come to see himself as capable and worthy of respect. we don't get to see enough of him as king, but from what little we get he seems to be wielding his power and authority well, and he's an incredibly well-respected and well-loved king. especially with Anora or a Cousland queen at his side, he's brave, commanding, and - just like he was back in Ostagar - he seems COMFORTABLE. he knows what he's doing, he sees his worth and accepts it, and he's more than willing to be firm and tell Fiona in no uncertain terms that Ferelden will not tolerate the events in Redcliffe. he's taking command and he's leading and protecting his charges, even though they're a lot more than just three Warden recruits this time. 

on a personal note, as someone who has dealt with mental health challenges, tough love from someone I respect and trust actually really helped me and I wouldn't be where I am without the occasional "you need to snap out of it." I'm not saying it's best for all scenarios, but I have experienced this firsthand. Alistair hiding from his responsibilities because they're overwhelming and he's terrified does resonate with me, but so does him actually healing a bit more and becoming more confident when someone shows him that they know he's better than this and he just needs to act like it. 

lastly, I think it's important to clarify that I don't believe anyone is playing any rpg the Wrong Way, regardless of what bioware made canon in their comics and other external media. I also think it's stupid to try and say ANY choice or route is inherently right or wrong, and every player is entitled to their opinion and preference. choices made in role playing games are usually done for the sake of playing a role, immersing oneself, and/or exploring the game's full library of content. as I said, I personally find hardened King Alistair with Queen Cousland to be the most satisfying version of his character arc, but I don't mean any of this to shame anyone if they choose or believe otherwise. no hate is intended, so don't purposefully misunderstand or misinterpret my words. no offense is intended if you just prefer one of Alistair's storylines or character arcs over the other. full offense is intended if you're the kind of person who bullies, shades, or otherwise belittles people who don't agree with your super special headcanons because you need to be the most correct player in the fandom.

thanks to everyone who isn't one of those people for reading all this <3

[buddiebeginz]

Saw this ridiculous thread on twitter that really deserves to be taken apart so lets go:

First of all while it's obvious that Buck is attracted to T*mmy (and at this point likes him a lot considering they're now dating) in 7x04 the the main person who's attention he was trying to get was Eddie's. I did an entire breakdown of that ep btw for anyone who is still confused about what was really happening there.

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1.

Buck goes to see Maddie after the basketball incidient and this is how the conversation goes

Maddie: You didn't mean to hurt him did you?

Buck: I don't know. I was pissed you know. Seeing him and T*mmy being such good friends after only two weeks. I felt left out and I guess I was trying to get his attention.

I know that you B/T shippers desperately want to see 7x04 as Buck sent the entire episode being super smitten over T*mmy but that is just not the story that show is telling. The entire conversation that Maddie and Buck are having in this scene prior to T*mmy even being mentioned is about Eddie. Buck and Maddie are talking about Eddie's injury and how Buck thinks Eddie won't want to talk to him after what he did. The focus is on Eddie. Also it doesn't make any logical sense for Buck to be so upset and emotionally invested over some guy he barely knows. He's upset because he thinks Eddie his best friend can so easily replace him in his life.

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2.

You're defending T*mmy because you say he left the date not wanting to pressure Buck...yet he almost outed him in front of Eddie (someone T*mmy knows is important to Buck). By the time they were on their first date T*mmy already knew how new all of this was for Buck and how nervous he was, I mean the man was talking about how he was an ally ffs while he was on a date with a guy. And while Buck's comment about finding some hot chicks was embarrassing and I get T*mmy not liking it he should have had a little more understanding given where Buck is in his journey. Instead he made it worse by making that crass closet comment.

It's also just plain rude to go on a date with someone and then ditch them in the middle without making sure they have a way home and without any real explanation (I'm not talking about more extreme circumstances like your date just being an ahole btw). Sure T*mmy told Buck he didn't think he was ready but that was really all he said. Buck was likely left feeling like he was being punished for having a moment where he acted out of fear. T*mmy could have shared an Uber with Buck and talked to him on the way home and they could have seen if they wanted things to continue. But it was like at the first sign of Buck needing more support he bailed.

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3.

My personal feeling on the first kiss is that T*mmy really should have given something of an indication of his intentions before he kissed Buck.

Speaking as someone who is bi if I was into another woman and they were giving off the kind of vibes Buck was I wouldn't just jump in there and kiss them. I know they try to make everything more sexy for tv and it's the oldest trope in the book to have the hot guy grab the main's face and lay one on them but given all of the signals Buck was sending out T*mmy really should have gotten more confirmation beforehand.

I'm not accusing T*mmy of anything and clearly Buck liked the kiss and it was also clear in that loft scene he was attracted to T*mmy. Still the vibes he was giving off were also really nervous an unsure and he talked about Eddie 90% of the time literally moments before the kiss. Why jump in an kiss someone who seems that nervous and probably is into someone else? I don't know it's just issues I have with that scene.

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4.

When it comes to a lot of the discourse I see around between Buddie shippers and B/T shippers I feel like a major difference is in how we perceive the show. I feel like a lot of B/T shippers mostly just take the show at face value. If something is written a certain way and presented that way to you on the screen you take that as exactly what the story is saying but you're missing the more subtle messages in the writing.

Like the whole scene with Buck, T*mmy, and Eddie in the karaoke bar had a lot going on beyond just what the dialogue was saying and it was likely missed by those who weren't paying attention.

Yeah T*mmy was on call and yeah that could be a reason why he didn't dress up. Although as many have pointed out there's plenty of things he could have worn that would have made it easy for him to quickly change and get to work and still put an ounce of effort into something that was clearly important to Buck.

But the not dressing up wasn't even the biggest issue it was that when Buck seemed hurt by the fact that T*mmy didn't care enough to dress up T*mmy was just like it's not that big of deal get over it (in the demeanor with which he responded). Obviously it was just a silly bachelor party one Chim didn't even show up to and no one else even dressed up for it (besides Eddie) but for me it's another red flag showing that T*mmy doesn't listen to Buck and doesn't have his back like a (potential) partner should.

Also you can defend T*mmy all you want but very deliberate choices were made with this Buddie and T*mmy scene. They chose to have Eddie arrive first and call a lot of attention to what he was wearing. Right before they had T*mmy come in and have that whole convo about his lack of costume to Buck.

Multiple times in the episode they pointed out that Buddie were wearing a couples costume and that Eddie is the one who picked it out. Not only were they matching in the bachelor party outfits but if you look at their outfits in the later scenes while looking for Chim they're coordinated like spouses there too.

They chose to have Eddie be the one to stay with Buck when everyone else left. They chose to have Buddie partying alone when they could have easily had T*mmy there. Especially when you consider this is a much shorter season every scene and every ep means even more than it would in a normal season. If they were trying to build B/T and get the audience to warm to them showing them partying even showing B/T partying with Eddie would have been a great time to do that instead they only focused on Buddie.

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5.

I'm happy for B/T shippers that you got your kissing scene at the end but here's what I saw. In a very overstuffed episode they chose to have a ton of Buddie stuff including having Buck and Eddie show up together multiple times while everyone was out looking for Chimney. Meanwhile B/T got one small scene (which included Eddie) in the beginning and one kiss at the end away from everyone else (that immediately cut to Eddie and Chris). The kiss didn't even feel like it's main purpose was to further develop the B/T relationship, it felt like it happened more to serve Buck's bi storyline so he could come out to everyone.

Also others have pointed this out but just because B/T have physical chemistry doesn't mean they have romantic chemistry. They seem like very different people. Too different in my opinion. In what little scenes of conversation they've actually had I just see two people who won't be compatible long term.

Juxtapose that with Eddie and Buck and just how much alike they are while at the same time being so uniquely themselves. How they're able to call each other out when they need to like when Eddie pointed out how it was maybe not the greatest idea for Buck to come out at his sister's wedding.

You can dislike Buddie and ship B/T all you want but you can't deny how all Buck and Eddie have to do is stand near each other and they exude chemistry and compatibility. People who don't even watch the show assume they're together and there's not even one scene of them kissing. Yet the main reason people ship B/T is because they're two hot guys who've kissed twice. There is no other real point of substance there. Now tell me again which fandom is guilty of fetishization here?

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6.

You can call us the delusional ones all you want but EVERYTHING is screaming in your face that T*mmy isn't going to last forever. I don't even care if he comes back for season 8. T*mmy and B/T have a giant ticking clock over them and sooner or later their time will be up. There is no way Tim, the writers, ABC, Ryan, Oliver, etc would pass on the phenomenon that Buddie will be once it goes canon. The show already gets a ton of attention just from talking about the possibility of them going canon. Every single article where they even mention Buddie gets attention.

It's hilarious to me that you say the actors and showrunners are what rooting for B/T? In all the the interviews they talk about Buddie now. Tim literally was saying he cares about Buddie too in his response to a fan the other day. He literally said he included Buddie scene specifically for our fandom. Oliver is always posting and liking stuff related to his scenes with Ryan and Buddie. When Ryan gets to do interviews he gushes about Buddie and Oliver. Meanwhile B/T which is supposed to be the canon ship in this important queer storyline they're doing barely gets mentioned. Let me know when that same energy is being given to your ship.

[googledetective]

I wanted to give my thoughts on the new episode, even if nobody really cares.

Spoilers, of course.

1. I love the new sprites, especially the Teruko ones.

3. I think Arturo's breakdown was very justified, and I'm glad that it happened. (also "shut your whore mouth" was the funniest shit I've heard all day!)

2. I think it's good information to know that the cast thinks they're 18 years old (inference), and Rose said that its likely been a few years. It gives us an age range now :)

2.5 (edit) Whit is looking really suspicious. I get the whole bond between him and Charles, but why would he say that Charles has no alibi if he wasn't out and about.

4. I think the fact that Teruko did not notice that Arei was swinging initially when she died, means she at least cared a bit and was surprised by her death.

5. I love the banter between Teruko and David about Xander. It's just so interesting to see such polarized and opposite opinions.

6. David really raises the question of is something out there worth more than the lives of 16 people, something I've never seen anyone consider yet or really much in Danganronpa before. I think this may end up being a justified kill.

7. David knows who Xander is... I hope that comes up again. I'm very curious as to who he really is and why David has memories. My theory is that David knew of him during or before the age of 18, so that memory wouldn't have been erased. Also why did he only say a year's worth of memories?

8. This is a bit of a leap, but I think it's safe to say David has Teruko's secret.

8.5 (edit) I'm starting to get sick of J accusing Arturo and Ace accusing Nico constantly. J is a huge fucking hypocrite, and honestly, as much as I love her, both her and Ace need to shut their goddamn mouths before I shut it for them.

9. I'm glad Hu had her moment. I talked to so many people who were starting to agree with David, so it was nice to see a different opinion. And I think she's right: that David shouldn't make the choice to die for them.

10. I'm glad David told Whit to shut up and called him out. I think that might help Whit have character development in the future, if he survives this trial.

11. My heart fucking sank when Levi confessed his secret.

12. I'm a huge Teruvid fan after this episode. I already was a fan, but holy shit.

13 (edit) David dropped the "good person" term on Xander. That's huge, considering the hidden text in the chapter card.

14. I could see Levi's reveal going one of three ways:

a. He's the killer as well and he's going to come clean

b. He's lying and he's the killer

c. He's telling the truth but he isn't the killer

Here's my opinions of the cast after this episode:

(Hu and David went up by a lot.)

[myfandomrealitea]

Honestly I'm getting really tired of how people treat celebrities.

People act like they're circus animals that exist solely to dance for their entertainment, and that being a celebrity means they don't deserve to have any boundaries or dignity or privacy.

Like I always see posts going "Oh boo hoo people are being mean to the poor celebrity, maybe they can wipe away their tears with their money while the rest of us starve :(" and it's like what the fuck are you talking about.

Them being famous and having a lot of money (although a lot of celebrities aren't actually super rich, which no one ever wants to acknowlege) doesn't give people the right to treat them the way they do.

Being rich means nothing if people are stalking you and breaking into your house and sending you unhinged love letters.

Being rich means nothing if people are taking pictures of your fucking children so they can sell the pictures to magazines.

Being rich means nothing if people are following you every time you're in public (or even in private!) so they can try and take a picture of you doing something embarassing or scandalous.

I'm honestly surprised there aren't more cases of celebrities having mental breakdowns and losing their shit due to the amount of harassment, stalking, and invasion of privacy they face.

Leave these goddamn people alone for fuck's sake.

I always see people saying:

"Its what you sign up for when you become famous."

And I just. No. So much no. No?? Non??? Nada.

Like yes when you're famous a certain amount of your privacy erodes because you become a public figure. Its in the name. But the way celebrities are literally treated like nothing more than creatures that exist for us to consume and observe and dictate and judge is fucking insane. We learned nothing from Britney Spears, apparently.

Celebrities have become such a disconnected reality from 'general living' that we are so fucking out of touch with the fact that they're literally just human beings. Eminem made a song about it and people just laughed it off as a great musical plotline and 'haha funny Stan lets turn it into fandom culture slang.' One Direction had to hide in unmarked trade vans and book out entire airports (which then got hacked) just to try to travel without getting mobbed. Toby Maguire got branded as 'rude and aggressive' for yelling at paparazzi who literally surrounded his car and blocked him from leaving a car park so they could take photos of him.

Celebrities should not have to take out contracts and protection orders and press gags just so they can raise their children in peace or take them on a fucking walk. Celebrities should not have to cover tattoos honoring their dead mother because some clown who thinks it'll turn into a Y/N moments replicates it without any care for its actual meaning. Celebrity nudes and sex tapes get hacked and leaked and the celebrity is simultaneously blamed for it and sexualised to absolute hell for it.

"Sources" are constantly selling-literally selling- private information about people and their lives and families and its just?? Considered so fucking normal?? Imagine having a miscarriage and finding out three days later that your co-worker sold that information to a news outlet and its now front-page news globally?

Imagine organising a secret, small wedding so you can have that special day with the person you love without it being ruined and you find out the fucking priest told the Daily Mail it was happening so your special day consists of hoards of photographers yelling at you while you try to speak your vows?

Honestly I believe we do need stricter regulations and laws regarding this kind of thing. I firmly believe in the freedom of photography in public spaces but I also firmly believe that should absolutely not cover paparazzi literally stalking people, mobbing them, blocking them in alleyways and parking lots, using telescopic lenses to take photographs inside their houses, ect. It simply shouldn't.

People need to start imagining themselves and their family members in these types of situations and recognise that its fucking inhumane.

[beauty-and-passion]

TBOB PART 2: OF FLATLAND, EXWHYLIA AND EUCLYDIA (3/4)

Hello, everyone, welcome once again to another post about Bill’s dimension. One day this analysis will end, I promise. But today is not that day: today is the day we will talk about Bill’s family.

And oh boy if there’s a lot to talk about.

Please check all previous posts to understand this one (and the masterlist too!).

<- Previous post - Masterlist

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PART 4: OF BILL’S FAMILY

“If you think Stan’s relationship with his family is bad, Bill’s is worse” - Alex Hirsch, NYCC 2015

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Loved and ostracized

Everyone loved me immediately and the mayor dubbed me the “best baby of all time”, made my birthday a holiday and gave out free knives. (...) Truth is I’ve always been loved and admired by all!

Of course Bill starts telling his story with a huge. Fucking. Lie.

How can I be so sure? First of all, the hyperbolic way in which he talks about his birth as if it’s the second coming of Christ. Then, all the previous points of this endless analysis.

Considering everything we have until now, I find it very difficult that Bill’s birth was celebrated by everyone. Surely his family celebrated it - if his society is similar to Flatland’s, having a regular son would’ve been enough to make them very happy.

But also… he’s just an Equilateral. And if his world has social classes based on the number of sides, then he’s from a middle class. I doubt the birth of another Equilateral was a reason big enough for huge celebrations.

Also, let’s not forget what Bill himself said in the TBOB: you should make a new reality and a meaning for yourself. Well, what if this is the reality he made? A place where he was immediately loved and admired by everyone?

_______________________________

Scalene and Euclid

Sooo… those are the names of Bill’s parents.

Honestly? They’re interesting. Even if I’m a bit weirded out by Scalene: in the only image we have of Bill’s parents (the grayed-out triangles on thisisnotawebsitedotcom) neither of them looks like a scalene triangle. On the contrary, they both look equilateral.

It’s a bit strange, you know? As if a person has “Neanderthal” as their first name. “Neanderthal Smith” or similar. Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

While speaking of Euclid, I think it’s a nice name. It’s the same name as the dimension they lived in and no, it’s not as weird as it seems: in our world, some people have the same name as the country they’re from, so it’s not so weird.

But hey, the most important thing is that we canonically have the names of Bill’s parents! We know he had parents and we know details of his relationship with them!

And this raises A LOT of questions.

Let’s start with his mother: we know she loved him, at least a little bit. She sang him lullabies and told him she loved him, despite his strange eye. So we can be sure at least one of his parents didn’t mind his deformity so much.

Also, this part in TBOB after Bill and Ford's breakdown, in which a very, very drunk Bill talks to his mom:

“I’m gonna be back from school soon, don’t forget to cut out the crust off my sandwiches or I’ll —”

I don’t know you, but to me, this sounds like the threat of a spoiled child. Something like “cut the crust off or I’ll throw a tantrum”. And yes, this implies Bill was a spoiled child - or at least, a child who considered himself above others, mother included. So yes, I can imagine him throwing a tantrum at his mother for something stupid like some crust on his sandwiches.

But again, even more questions! How was his mother towards him? Was she submissive? Was she combative? Was she ready to answer to every little whim of her son like a Flatlander Woman or did she ask for some respect? Considering how bratty Bill is, I'm more prone to believe she was very lenient towards him.

While speaking of his father, I find it very fascinating that we know absolutely nothing about Bill’s relationship with his father. We know his mother loved him (maybe to the point of spoiling him too much)… but his father? Did he care about Bill? I suppose so, considering Bill visited a doctor (unless it was his mother’s decision only, but I doubt it).

And about his job: was he a Tradesman? Bill attended school, but was school supposed to teach him about his future job too? If not, then this was up to his parents, right? Presumably, it was his father’s job to teach Bill how to be a Tradesman, a bit like in the Flatland society. If that’s the case, then why we don’t have any information about this? Why no memory at all? Bill seems to care about his father too - if we assume that the top hat he has was his father’s. So at least he cared enough to keep something of him.

Was his father a bad guy? Was he cruel? Or was he so blinded by society’s rules to torture his son and think he was doing it for his good? In that case, I would understand why he did everything he did - but beware: understanding doesn’t mean accepting. It would be a bit like Filbrick Pines’ situation: I can get the reasoning behind his actions, but that doesn’t make him Father of the Year. Maybe it’s the same for Bill’s father. This wouldn’t be the first parallel between Stanley and Bill, after all.

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An Irregular masquerading as Regular

Time to talk about Bill’s eye.

We can safely assume Bill’s rare mutation was having his eye on the face and not on the side - which, from the Euclideans’ perspective, meant having an eye on his insides.

Now, imagine with me: you have a child and you see that your baby has no eyes. No eyes at all, not even an eye socket. I bet you would freak out, at least a little bit. You would probably send your baby to a doctor and ask if there is something they can do.

The doctor checks the baby and gives you both good and bad news: your child has eyes and they work. But they are inside his body. In his goddamn stomach.

And if all of this isn’t enough, your child starts telling you that sure, he can see a lot of things! He sees things you cannot see - no one else can see.

Now, would you say: “Oh, no problem. He can see things no one can, so he’s fine and his eyes work well”? Or would you probably freak out even more and fear your son is having goddamn visions because he’s probably dying or has a tumor or who knows what?

I can understand why Bill’s parents brought him to a doctor. And I can understand why the doctor thought the best solution was to “blind” that eye. As far as Euclideans know, there are no “stars” and there is no “above”. It’s as if someone in our world says they can see rotating hypercubes in real life. Would you think they’re perfectly fine or question if they’re insane/growing mad/getting very sick?

So yes, even if it's insane for us, from Bill’s parents' POV, giving him medicine to make him blind was for his own good. Does that make them Parents of the Year? Hell no, they were literally blinding their own son, of course it’s terrible and insane and if someone tries to do the same they should be immediately thrown in jail. But for the rules of Euclydia’s world, this was probably the best thing to do.

And personally, I ADORE the tragedy of this. The tragedy of giving something to your son that will permanently blind him, but trying to make it at least bearable - he’s still a child, he doesn’t really understand what he’s drinking, but you think it’s for his own good, your whole world think it's for his own good, so you use something silly that he likes, like straws, because this will make the medicine - the impairment - more tolerable. Uuurgh, it’s so tragic I love it.

And it’s even more tragic, if we consider that even after billions of years, even if he talks about his doctor and the medicine as something bad that wanted to “blind” him, Bill never forgot the straws. He still loves the straws he was using so much, to the point he still gave them a place in his book.

But since there’s always room on the angst train, also think that by making him blind, Billy would’ve probably stopped talking about these visions (at least, according to his parents). And if he stopped, it would’ve been easier for him to fit into society. He would’ve followed the rules and standards. He was a Regular shape after all, so if they took away that hidden-and-yet-so-present pieces of Irregularity he had, he could’ve become a respectable member of their society. One who didn’t go around, talking about weird things no one could see. Things that were against the law.

Again, it’s not me saying this, it’s Bill:

“Technically, talking about a “third” dimension was illegal in my world.”

This makes Bill’s character EVEN MORE fascinating. He could’ve been the Apostle of the Third Dimension. He could’ve spoken to everyone, because he had something of everyone - he could’ve been a bridge between Regulars and Irregulars, because he was both. He could’ve changed his world or died as a martyr.

But in the end, he chose the third option.

And we will talk about it in the next post.

See you soon with the fourth and final post on this part.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[exn0bis]

So. Completed Veilguard. I have lots of thoughts.

Regardless, I don't think I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said.

For my part, I went in with the expectation it was going to be bad. I was pleasantly surprised by some things, certainly by the technical aspects, but it fell about where I expected in most other ways.

But first, the good.

It was extremely refreshing to see a AAA game actually release so well optimized for once. I'm running an older system at this point, with a GTX 1080 TI. Even so, out of the box, I was able to run things on the Medium preset perfectly. After some troubleshooting the latest Nvidia driver, and updating the games native upscaling to FSR 3.x, I was running things on a mix of High & Ultra with minimal to no frame drops. This was way beyond what I expected, and made the play experience more enjoyable. While I do think that, like many games in the past few years, there is some over reliance on upscaling to make it look its best, Veilguard still maintains excellent visual fidelity without it.

On that note, the game is objectively gorgeous, regardless of how one feels about the art style (which I did personally like, too); I'm also extremely impressed how they adapted a simulated strand hair system into something playable in real-time without it being overly taxing. Would love to know the technical breakdown for that specifically, but either way, I would not be surprised if we start to see more games released with something similar going forwards.

Veilguard very much proved you can make something look gorgeous and still have it be playable on more than just the latest and greatest systems, and I hope it will encourage more studios to focus on how they optimize and implement their work.

I also found the general gameplay mechanics to be, overall, enjoyable. I was hesitant going in, as I'm 1) bad at games, and 2) from a CRPG background, so the real-time style of combat is not generally something I'm good at. I was also concerned about the stripping down of party mechanics, etc, that was a big part of the previous games. And while I do wish the party tactics had been a little more varied, I ultimately found combat fun and responsive, and that they struck a reasonable balance between simplicity with party, and overly tactical. It did have way too many buttons & combos for me, but that is definitely a me being bad at games thing and not a fault in the game.

I also was extremely impressed with how smoothly the game transitioned from gameplay to cutscenes, and I really liked the more open maps/elimination of excess loading screens.

Unfortunately, that is about all the praise I have for the game.

I'm not really going to talk too much about the complete disregard for the world state built by previous titles, because I think all that needs to be said about that has been. I agree that, from a development standpoint, they needed to find a way to simplify things. However, going so totally scorched earth that character creation literally states "you don't need to customize your previous choices if you don't want to because it doesn't really affect anything" only serves to insult and infuriate the very dedicated player base.

It's very clear that the goal of Veilguard is to wipe the slate clean for the purposes of rebranding and bringing in new players for future installments/capital. Considering the mass layoffs at Bioware, and EA's generally established business practices, this sort of tactic isn't really surprising, no, and was truthfully only a matter of time. But that doesn't stop it from feeling like a slap in the face.

That being established, the total disregard for existing lore, world state, impact of previous titles, glaring plot holes within Veilguard itself, etc, is unfortunately to be expected. No point in picking it apart individually, as it's all just a symptom of the goal of a clean slate reboot.

Which isn't to say I wasn't cursing at my screen by the end of it, but I digress.

I had hoped I could at least enjoy the game as something new, turn off the part of my brain that associated it with Dragon Age and just play it as a stand alone thing. This even worked for the first chapter or so, as I was really enjoying the exploration and gameplay. And then I started recruiting more people. And the main plot started to really get going. And turning my brain off suddenly stopped helping.

The writing is awful, full stop. It's all incredibly surface level and sanitized, and it treats the player with such ineptitude I started to feel like the game had actual disdain for me for trying to play and enjoy it. If I had a dollar for every time an NPC explicitly repeated a plot point or goal immediately after a cutscene that had already painfully spelled it out for me ended, I would have recouped the price of the game three times over. I get that reading comprehension is at an all time low, but holy shit. I paid for a sweeping fantasy narrative, not a degradation simulator that treats me like a moron.

If we manage to put that aside, we're left with a narrative that spends every spare second trying to convince you of how high the stakes are and how important your relationships will be to get through it... and then never actually manages to deliver on any of it. The game repeatedly shies away from showing you anything actually bad, or building anything actually meaningful.

Yes, we see the Blight being gross and a few choice deaths, but that's it. The mass devastation we're told is constantly happening all over Thedas? The staggering amounts of death taking place? The oh-so-vile practices and punishments of our main antagonists? Anything and everything that has to do with the extremely prevalent theme of slavery? That all happens off screen, if it happens at all. Somewhere nice and clean and safe for it to exist, sanitized of any tension or emotional impact. I cannot decide if the flagrant pacing issues in the narrative are a product of the missing tension, or their own problem.

And those important relationships we're told about follow the same pattern. Even if we ignore how everyone speaks to each other like they're reading the script of an HR Workplace Togetherness video, their personal stories are devoid of the stakes we are assured they have. I wanted so desperately to care about the things these character's cared about, but I left still unconvinced the character's themselves even gave a shit.

And with a shallow plot comes a shallow character; I felt no attachment to any of them, despite telling myself they'd grow on me as I progressed. Of course, I also didn't dislike any of them, either; I just didn't care, and I find that infinitely more damming.

I think what I find most frustrating is that the potential in the characters is there, at least. They're each interesting concepts with interesting themes, and every so often I'd get a cutscene that actually got me to feel something, to react, and I'd get excited thinking 'oh, this must be when it gets good.' But no, as soon as you're out of the cutscene, it's situation normal again. No more feelings, no more tension. That all happened off screen, again. Any emotional turmoil the character in question was in moments before is now gone in favor of Group Togetherness.

Rook is no exception to any of this, either; exactly as tepid as the rest, but coated with an even less polished illusion of substance. This is not helped by the fact that the game makes an active effort to remind you that Solas is the actual main character of this story. Rook, you as the player, are just sort of... there.

The headcanons I've seen from fans do more justice to this entire cast than the game ever does.

In summary, it's sad, I think. It's ultimately what I expected, but it's sad. Many of us have a very deep attachment to Dragon Age, the story and the community that built up around it. I literally met my wife through the Dragon Age fandom. I learned to explore some deeply personal things about myself through how I related to the story and characters because of how much depth and nuance there was to examine. To see all that reduced to what amounts to a very prettily polished turd is just... yeah. Sad.

I'm really happy that there are people who have enjoyed the game. Genuinely. I hope they'll continue to do so. Myself, I'll probably still go on a screenshot binge and enjoy how pretty it looks, too. But Veilguard is very much the end of Dragon Age, for me. And I'm sad about it.

[arcane-vagabond]

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Six

Meet Me at the Sea: Chapter Six

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Your best friend, Bob Floyd, had insisted you join him for the summer at his family's home along the Carolina coasts. You had been hesitant at first, but ultimately agreed to his request. Now, here you were in a new town with strange locals who spoke in hushed whispers and cryptic retellings about glistening scales, glowing eyes, and haunting songs that echoed from the sea. You didn't believe them at first, but when you wake up on the beach one morning after having fallen overboard the night before, you can't help but think that maybe you hadn't imagine the strong arms and deep, green eyes of the man that had saved you.

Trigger warnings: Language, Murder, Flirty Bradley, Mean Girl Mandy, Dry humping, Kissing, Possessive Jake, Skipper having a mental breakdown of sorts.

Word Count: 5.1k

A/N: I'm on a roll, y'all, but just know that a lot of this chapter was just pure self indulgence. If you're feeling kind/generous, please consider buying me a ko-fi! As always, reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated! Asks/requests are always open! 18+ ONLY!! You can find me on AO3 under arcane_vagabond where I also post my updates!

Series Masterlist

The rest of the night had been a blur, your head fuzzy from your encounter on the beach. Javy and Nat had kept a close eye on you after you almost walked into the water, making sure you stayed close. The rest of the gang had checked in on you, Bob wanting to take you back home, but you had insisted that you were staying, not wanting to ruin his night. You had caused enough trouble.

Your eyes had been unfocused as you stared down at the sand, vaguely aware of everyone laughing and having a good time. Your mind felt slow, your body sluggish as you sat by the fire. Your arms were wrapped firmly around your knees where they were pressed up against you.

You jumped when someone plopped down next to you, and your eyes widened as they took in Jake’s form. He sat cross legged, back straight as he gazed into the fire.

“You’re not nearly as good at pretending as you think you are,” he murmured, peeking at you from the corner of his eye. You felt your cheeks flush as you looked away from him.

“I don’t want them to worry.”

“It’s a little late for that, I think,” he murmured, a humorless chuckle escaping him. You squeezed your knees tighter, attempting to make yourself smaller as the guilt ate away at you.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you admitted quietly, feeling Jake’s stare on the side of your face. “I’m not usually like this, I swear.”

“I believe you,” he told you gently, earnestly. “No one here blames you for anything, Skipper.”

“They deserve to have fun,” you muttered miserably, feeling the tears prickle at your eyes. “They shouldn’t have to worry about me and whether or not I’m going to pass out or drown at every turn.”

“Trust me,” he said, turning to face you, “everyone here is having fun, and they like hanging out with you. If they didn’t, then they wouldn’t be worried in the first place.”

“Yeah?” You whispered, looking at him with uncertain eyes. He gave you a soft smile, nodding.

“Promise.”

Bob had come to collect you shortly after, the smell of beer on his breath as he dragged you to your feet, insisting that he was tired and that it was time to go home. You had given Jake a small smile before following him back home, Mickey making sure the two of you got there in one piece.

Now, you sat on the end of the couch in Bradley and Jake’s living room, the group somber as the news from earlier that morning hung in the air.

Another body had been found, a young woman who had been visiting her family on the island. She had been at the bonfire the night before, and you remembered seeing her briefly. Her body had been found in the early hours of the morning, and the police had told reporters that they were investigating all angles, meaning that despite the apparent murder spree, there had been alcohol in her system and they weren’t sure yet if she had been the victim of a freak accident or a murder.

“Mav won’t tell me much,” Bradley said, scratching his chin. “But he told me they think it’s connected to the others, even with all the beer she drank.”

“Should he really be telling you all of that?” Reuben asked, an incredulous look on his face. “I know he’s your godfather and all, but still.”

Bradley shrugged, seemingly nonplussed at the idea.

“We should go out and do something,” Nat suggested, looking around at everyone. “I don’t want to sit here and think about this all day. We need to go and get our minds off it.”

“And do what, exactly?” Mickey drawled, raising an eyebrow at her.

“We could go to the boardwalk?” Javy suggested, looking around at everyone as Mickey let out a groan.

“Again?” He asked. “There’s only so many times I can ride the coaster before it stops becoming fun.”

“Then ride something else,” Nat snarked, rolling her eyes.

“I think the boardwalk sounds like fun,” you smiled. “We could go swimming after? It would be a shame to waste the day inside.”

“I agree,” Jake nodded beside you, barely letting your mouth close before doing so. “Skipper makes a good point.”

“I’m sure she does,” Reuben snorted. You saw Jake frown at the other man as Mickey and Bob both tried to disguise their laughter with coughs.

“I’ll do whatever,” Bradley chimed in, looking more bored than anything. “Just so long as I don’t have to keep sitting here.”

“Wait,” Bob said, brow furrowing. “Isn’t the ocean dance festival tonight?”

Nat let out a groan as Mickey wrinkled his nose.

“They’re still doing that with everything going on?” He asked.

“Damn, I completely forgot about that,” Nat muttered, checking the time on her phone. She looked up at you, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Skipper, you didn’t happen to pack a fancy dress or anything, did you?”

“No?” You said slowly, regarding her carefully. She blew out a breath, nodding.

“Didn’t think so,” she muttered, moving to stand. “Well, you boys will have to have fun without us. Skipper and I have some shopping to do.”

“What?” You asked, eyes widening as Nat pulled you to your feet.

She chuckled. “We have to go get you a dress for tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Reuben laughed, “the ocean dance festival is the one event all the girls in town look forward to. It’s an excuse for them to get all dressed up in pretty, fancy dresses and elaborate makeup while the rest of us try to decide which shirt is nice enough for us to pair with our jeans.”

“Ignore him,” she scowled, turning her attention back to you with an excited look. “It’s a lot of fun, Skipper. You gotta come!”

“I don’t know,” you trailed off, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth. “I don’t even think I have enough to buy a fancy dress…”

“I’ll get one for you,” she said, raising her hand as you moved to protest. “Please, call it a ‘welcome to the island’ gift.”

“Also known as ‘Nat hasn’t gotten to play dress up with anyone in God only knows how long,’” Bradley joked, earning a glare from the brunette. Nat turned her pleading gaze to you, and you felt your resolve crumple.

“Alright,” you sighed. “Fine.”

An hour later you had a dress in your hands, Natasha still gushing about it beside you.

“You look so pretty in it, Skipper!” She exclaimed, mouth curved into an infectious grin, excitement radiating off of her in waves. “You’re going to be the talk of the town!”

“I highly doubt that, Nat,” you giggled.

“Trust me,” she chuckled, wiggling her eyebrows at you, “no one will be able to keep their eyes off of you once I’m through.”

You shook your head, not able to keep the amused smile off your face as the two of you made your way down the boardwalk. Several people were decorating a roped off area. Balloons, streamers, and ocean themed decorations littered the area, a stage sitting off to the side where a group of musicians were setting up their equipment.

“They really go all out for this dance, huh?” You mused, and Nat nodded.

“It’s been a part of the summer festivals since the town was founded. The city council and founding daughter’s group goes all out, which is the biggest reason why it wasn’t cancelled this year,” she explained. You hummed, eyes drifting to the familiar shop sign, and your eyes lit up.

“Oh!” You exclaimed, grabbing her hand. “Can we go in here really quick? There was something I wanted to get.”

“Mrs. Cambroni’s shop?” Nat frowned. “What could you possibly need from in here?”

“You’ll see,” you smiled. “Come on!”

The bell chimed as the two of you stepped in, and you greeted the old woman behind the counter with a smile. A handsome man stood with her, his eyes trained on the two of you, and you couldn’t help but feel like you had seen him somewhere before. His mocha skin had an underlying gold tone to it, dark hair cropped short. His dark, green eyes sent a shiver up your spine as he watched you.

“Good morning, dear!” Mrs. Cambroni greeted. “Back so soon?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “I’m actually looking for something, and I wondered if you might have it.”

“I’ll bet you anything she does,” the man chuckled. “My aunt has almost everything under the sun here in her little shop.”

“Oh, how rude of me,” Mrs. Cambroni muttered. “This is my nephew, Cole. He’s in from out of town. Natasha, dear, you remember Cole, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” she smiled, shooting him a small wave. “It’s good to see you again!”

“Likewise,” he hummed, eyes darting back to you. “And you are?”

“Oh, sorry,” you blushed. “I’m Skipper.”

He chuckled once more. “That’s an unusual name.”

“It’s a nickname,” you murmured, ducking your head out of embarrassment. “It’s just what everyone calls me.”

“What was it you were looking for, dear?” Mrs. Cambroni asked you. “Was it something for the festival tonight?”

“Sort of,” you started, moving forward and digging in your bag. You pulled out the large, black pearl, showing it to her. “I was hoping you’d have something for me to put this in so I could wear it.”

“I have just the thing,” she smiled, rounding the corner of the counter as she darted off to one of the far corners of the shop.

“Will we see you at the festival tonight, Cole?” Nat asked him, moving to stand next to you. Cole laughed lightly, ducking his head down before looking back up at her.

“I might make an appearance, yeah. It’ll be nice to see some familiar faces again.”

“You’re from here?” You asked him. He nodded.

“Grew up here before deciding to go to school down south. I live there full time now, but figured I’d come up and visit with my aunt for the summer.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you,” you grinned. Your grin faded as the nagging feeling in the back of your head grew louder. You knew him, you were sure of it. “I’m so sorry, but have we met?”

He grinned at you. “Not officially, but you did bump into me the other day over by the tilt-o-whirl.”

“Oh,” you balked. His words sank in, and you felt your skin flush as embarrassment washed over you. “Oh. Oh my god. I’m so sorry!”

“It’s all water under the bridge,” he said, waving you off. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen victim to that damn thing myself.”

You smiled at his words, feeling the tension lift from your shoulders.

At that moment, Mrs. Cambroni came walking back over, a golden chain dangling from her hand. It was beautiful, the chain holding a collection of smaller ones that held a cradle for a pearl to rest in, practically forming a raindrop. The old woman held her hand out, and you placed the black pearl gently in her outstretched palm. She fiddled with the necklace before showing it to you proudly.

“Turn around, dear, and I’ll put it on you.”

You did as instructed, moving your hair to give her easy access. Once she was done, she gestured towards the mirror that rested on top of the counter.

“Have a look!” She smiled. You did so, marveling at how the pendant rested perfectly just above the curves of your breasts.

“It’s perfect!” You gushed, looking over at her. She returned your smile warmly resting a hand against the counter.

“You know,” she began, a knowing glint in her eye. “The ocean dance festival has a longstanding tradition in this town as being a way for sea people to gain the attention of a potential mate.”

You could practically feel Natasha’s eye roll as you looked at the old woman, eager to hear more.

“It was a festival where potential mates dressed up in their best clothing to attract attention. Boys and girls alike dressed in elaborate costumes to showcase their assets,” she hummed as you paid for the necklace. “But, I suppose now it’s just an excuse for young ladies like yourself to get all dolled up for an evening of fun.”

“We have a friend who said something similar, actually,” you giggled. Mrs. Cambroni smiled, and Natasha grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the door.

“Well, it’s been fun, Mrs. Cambroni, but we only have so much time to get ready before the festival starts. It was good to see you, Cole!” she called over her shoulder as she walked through the door.

“Why do you keep doing that?” You scowled at her as she dragged you down the street and towards her house.

“Because Cambroni is a nut,” she retorted, sparing you a glance from over her shoulder. “And you should take everything she says with a grain of salt. Besides, I wasn’t kidding. We only have so long before the festival starts, and while I am skilled at what I do, I need all the time I can get to get us both ready.”

Five hours later, and you found yourself standing on the boardwalk once again, fingers fidgeting with the green tulle of your dress. Nat had done an amazing job, not that you were surprised. The dress she had picked out for you was a beautiful sage green, puffy sleeves hanging off the shoulder as they met at the sweetheart neckline. Your new necklace hung just above your cleavage, and your makeup was simple, more natural looking than her own. She had kept it light, forgoing much of the costume vibes that other girls had seemingly gone for. Your eyes were dusted in a gold powder along with the edges of your lips, tiny pearls scattering the edges of your eyes. She had smeared some of the gold dust along your neck as well as your shoulders and collarbone, nothing to ostentatious, but just enough to draw attention to the skin there.

Nat herself looked absolutely stunning. Her red dress was strapless, a bunch of fabric folded on her hip to give the appearance of a rose bloom. Red eyeshadow creeping up her temples, and she had chosen a dark red lipstick to complete the look. She was beautiful, and she carried herself with confidence.

“Where are those idiots,” Nat muttered to herself, typing away at her phone as she attempted to track down the rest of your friends. A low whistle had the two of you turning, seeing Bradley with a wide grin on his face as he looked at the two of you along with the rest of the boys.

“Well, don’t you two clean up nice,” he hummed, eyes taking you both in appreciatively, causing heat to rise to your cheeks. Nat frowned at him, giving him a once over, taking in his jean shorts and Hawaiian shirt.

“Did you even try?” She asked him.

“The ladies love me for what I offer, Natasha,” he retorted with a wistful sigh as he shoved his hands his pockets.

“And what is that? An eighties porno stache and a collection of bargain bin dad shirts?” She threw back, causing snickers to float around your little group. Bradley took it in stride, smiling lazily at her as he shot you a wink.

“She’s just mad because she doesn’t look as good as we do, Skipper,” he whispered to you conspiratorially, causing you to giggle.

“Keep dreaming, Bradshaw,” Nat laughed, eyes peeking over at Javy who looked at her fondly. You smiled at the sight, eyes drifting over the group before they landed on those oh so familiar green ones.

Jake’s eyes bore into you, drinking you in, and you suddenly felt self conscious under his gaze. You smiled at him shyly, and you saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly.

“You look great, Skip!” Bob chirped as he popped up beside you. You broke eye contact with Jake to smile up at your best friend.

“Thanks!” You said, giving him a once over and cocking an eyebrow. “Did your mom make you wear that?”

“That obvious, huh?” He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Only a little,” you giggled.

“Man, I’m starving!” Mickey groaned. “Let’s go get some food!”

He moved towards the growing crowd as the rest of you followed suit. Jake fell in step next to you, eyes still watching you.

“You look nice, too,” you whispered, watching as a dusting of pink made its way onto his cheeks. He smiled warmly at you.

“Not as nice as you do,” he murmured. You felt yourself preen at his words, pushing your shoulders back slightly. Jakes eyes darted down, widening at the sight of your pendant. He looked like he was about to say something, but a voice cut him off.

“Jake!”

The two of you turned to see an older woman, maybe in her late forties, waving at him. Her blonde hair was piled intricately in an updo, her white dress glowing in the setting sun. Jake smiled at her before looking back at you, gesturing for you to follow him.

She was even more beautiful up close, smile lines evident on her face as her eyes darted between the two of you, a question in her green eyes.

“Hey, mom,” Jake greeted her, wrapping her in a hug. “Wasn’t expecting to see you so early in the night. Where’s Dad?”

“Oh, your father wanted to wrap some things up at the office,” she chuckled, eyes trained on you as she spoke, a kind smile on her red lips. “Who might this be?”

“Mom, this is Skipper,” he said, smiling down at you softly. “Skipper, this is my mom, Nicola.”

“Please, honey. Call me Nikki,” she hummed at you, eyeing your neck. “My, don’t you look a vision tonight?”

“Oh, thank you,” you blushed. “I love your dress.”

“This old thing?” She scoffed, smiling warmly. “I’ve worn this dress to this festival for the past five years. I’ve been meaning to go out and get a new one, but who has the time?”

“Mom is one of the main people who plans this festival,” Jake explained.

“It’s always been my favorite,” she sighed, eyes growing hazy as she lost herself in thought. “It’s where your father and I became exclusive, you know.”

“Oh, like those stories,” you said. Nikki’s eyes looked at you curiously, and you felt yourself blush once again. “Mrs. Cambroni was telling me about the origin of the festival this morning.”

“Goodness, that woman certainly loves to meddle, doesn’t she?” Nikki hummed. Her attention was drawn away from you as a figure joined you.

“Hi, Nikki,” Mandy drawled, a tight smile on her face.

Nikki smiled warmly at her, taking in her appearance. Mandy wore a dark blue dress that hung off her shoulders, the neckline dipping dangerously low as the rest of the material clung to her every curve. Her eyes were painted in dark blue powder with gold accents, her lips a ruby red. She looked perfect.

“Hi, honey!” Nikki chirped. “You look…nice this evening!”

“Thank you,” Mandy smirked, eyes darting over to look at Jake, a frown on his lips. “I had this dress custom ordered for the occassion.”

“Mandy, do you know Skipper?”

Mandy glanced at you, smirk turning cruel as she took you in.

“Well,” she chuckled. “Looks like you clean up well after all. What a lovely surprise.”

You felt a wave of embarrassment roll over you, eyes darting around to try and find an exit from the suddenly tense conversation. Nikki seemed to notice the shift as well, and she frowned, eyes peering at Mandy who seemed none the wiser. The brunette turned to Jake with a smile as the band began to play.

“Jake, you’ll dance with me, won’t you?” She asked him, batting her eyelashes. You weren’t a jealous person, and you especially weren’t when it came to someone you weren’t dating. That’s why it came as a surprise to you when anger rose up in your throat at the way she looked at him, the mark on your neck pulsing. Mine, it said.

You were briefly aware of the smirk that adorned Nikki’s lips before she turned to Mandy.

“Actually, honey,” she interjected, “I was hoping you could come help me with something.”

Mandy gritted her teeth but offered the older woman a tight smile. “Of course.”

Nikki gestured for the brunette to follow, casting one last look over her shoulder at you, eyes shining mischeivously before disappearing into the crows. Jake let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair nervously before looking over at you.

“Do you,” he started, shifting from one foot to the other. “Do you want to dance with me?”

Your eyes met his green ones, shining with anticipation.

“I would love to,” you said softly. Jake beamed, moving to rest a gentle hand on the small of your back as he guided you towards the dancefloor. Several other couples swayed with the music, and you grinned when you saw Javy and Nat across the way, Nat’s head resting against his chest as he held her gently.

Your attention was torn away as Jake’s hands moved to rest on your hips, and you placed your arms around his neck. The air around you seemed to buzz with a pleasant warmth, the warmth of his hands causing heat to spread through you.

“Your mom is nice,” you commented in an attempt to distract yourself from the all consuming feeling as the two of you began to move with the music.

“She is,” he agreed, smiling down at you fondly. “She likes you, too.”

“How do you know that?” You asked him with a chuckle.

“She wouldn’t have dragged Mandy away if she didn’t,” he surmised, thumb stroking along your hip, sending a shiver up your spine.

“I thought she liked Mandy?”

“She does,” Jake replied. “In her own way. She knows Mandy can be…difficult.”

You hummed. “Then why did she want you to be with her?”

Jake sucked in a breath, lips forming a grimace as he answered. “Her and Mandy’s mom have been friends since they were in diapers. Their dream was for their kids to one day end up together, getting married and growing old. We come from two very prominant families, and it was an added bonus that us being together would help present a picture perfect ideal to everyone else. It was perfect.”

You noted the sense of bitterness his tone took on as he spoke, and your thumb brushed softly against the nape of his neck, causing him to suck in a small breath and tighten his hold on your waist ever so slightly.

“But?” You asked him, and he sighed.

“But, I wasn’t happy,” he admitted, his gaze meeting yours. “I love my parents, but their dream wasn’t mine. I’ve only ever wanted to make them happy, and if it meant putting my own happiness on the backburner, then I was willing to do that.

“And now?” You whispered, the two of you slowing to a stop as the song ended. Jake’s hands still gripped you tightly, no sign of letting go as he stared at you.

“Now,” he said slowly, “I think I’ve changed my mind.”

The two of you stood in the middle of the dancefloor as the band moved into the next song, the couples around you beginning to move again. You suddenly felt too warm, and Jake must have noticed your change in demeanor because he pulled away from you, hand gripping your left one as he dragged you away from the crowd. You let him lead you through the throng of people, and you noticed Mickey, Reuben, and Bob chatting with Mrs. Cambroni and Cole, all of them laughing amongst each other. Mrs. Cambroni caught your eye and shot you a wink as she sipped from her glass. You saw Bradley, Javy, and Nat laughing not too far away, but it was the cold, calculating blue eyes that cut through the warmth that surrounded you.

Mandy watched as the two of you maneuvered through the crowd. She disappeared from sight as Jake rounded the stage, the wall blocking most of the sound as he led you further down the otherwise deserted boardwalk. The music faded as the two of you kept walking, and finally Jake came to a hault. He turned, hands grasping your waist as he lefted you onto the railing, making sure you were comfortable before stepping in to the space where your thighs were parted. His hands remained on your waist as he gazed up at you.

“Feel better?” He asked you.

“Much,” you answered, smiling softly at him. “Thank you.”

Jake hummed as his hands made small strokes up and down your waist. The two of you remained silent, just enjoying the moment.

“The others said you didn’t feel like you had options before,” you hummed quietly, eyes darting up to meet his. “I’ve been wondering what they meant by that.”

Jake didn’t say anything, eyes searching yours before slowly leaning in. You felt his warm breath fan over your face, and your heartbeat quickened in your chest. He paused, eyes hooded as he watched you, watched the way your chest heaved at his close proximity, watched as your eyes begged and pleaded with him to close the gap, but still he waited.

You let out a strangled cry as the feeling of having him so close became too much, and you surged forward, pressing your lips against his. You felt like you were melting from the inside out as your lips molded against his, and Jake let out a pleasured groan, hands pulling you closer to him as his body molded into yours. You gasped as your thighs parted even more, allowing him to press his knee into your core. Jake took advantage of this, licking into your mouth with languid thrusts that matched the slow rhythm of his thigh as it grinded against you. Your hands flew to his hair, tugging on the blond locks in a way that had him moaning into your mouth. You ground your hips down experimentally onto him, earning a groan as he pulled away from you, nipping on your bottom lip before placing a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Such a good girl,” he moaned, lips placing hot, open mouthed kisses along your jaw before moving down your neck. You tilted your head to the side, offering him more access to which he eagerly took advantage of. You let out a whimper as his lips brushed the nape of your neck, a smirk forming on his lips as he began to bite and suck on the skin there, leaving behind what was sure to be a sizeable hickey.

“Jake,” you whispered breathlessly, hips still grinding down on him. His hands glided up the expanse of your body, his right hand cupping your breast and squeezing. You threw your head back, crying out in ecstasy.

“So pretty like this, baby,” he rasped, thrusting his hips up into your clothed core. “Think you can come like this? Wish you could see yourself. See how hot you look as you’re about to come just from grinding down on me.”

Your eyes were hooded as you looked at him, silently begging him to make you come. His eyes glowed in the low light, the sun having already disappeared beneath the horizon. Jake pressed a tender kiss to your lips, and you brought a hand down to his jaw to keep him there. He pulled back slightly, one of his strong hands on your waist as he guided you over his thigh.

“So beautiful,” he murmured as he watched you, a hypnotic lilt to his tone as he drank in the sight of you, fucked out and at his mercy. “And all mine. Isn’t that right?”

You nodded vigorously, words escaping you, but Jake shook his head.

“Say it,” he groaned, “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you sobbed, your high so close as you rubbed yourself furiously down onto him. Jake’s eyes danced in delight, a smirk on his lips as he watched you use him for your own pleasure. But then the smirk dropped and his eyes flashed dangerously as he pulled away. You mewled at the loss of contact, reaching out fo him. He took you in his arms, spinning you so that you were pressed behind him, and you were vaguely aware of the sound of a snarl as your head whirled around you. The intense warmth spreading through you was drenched with an ice cold feeling as a familiar cry rang out in the night.

The song was beautiful, higher pitched than the others you had heard previously, sending a mix of terror and a need to obey running through you. You made to move, but Jake’s arms held you firm. The song called to you again and you felt tears spring to your eyes at the conflicting feelings inside you. You’re breath came out shaky, and Jake turned to look at you. He grabbed your shoulders gently, green eyes boring into yours desperately.

“Skipper,” he crooned, a hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. “Listen to me.”

You wanted to, but the song still called to you, warring with the one coming from Jake as he continued.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he cooed, wiping a stray tear from your cheek. “Stay with me. Be my good girl. ”

Your eyes darted back and forth between him and the water where the song called for you to follow. A sob wracked your body as you through yourself into Jake, arms wrapping around him as you buried your face into his neck. He shushed you, rubbing at your back gently, and you were vaguely aware of the sound of your friends joining you. A warm hand rested on your upper arm like the person was going to pull you away, and you let out a desperate cry, clinging to Jake with all your strength as he let out a snarl. You paid no mind to the conversation around you as Jake held you to him, still cooing a song into your ears. You weren’t sure when exactly the other song ended, but you began to relax somewhat in Jake’s hold. You slowly came to, just as Bradley heaved out a sigh.

“Yeah, she’s staying with us tonight.”

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it. And also. Spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇯🇵I Hear the Sunspot [1/12] - I'm so grateful that I get a new jbl just as I'm mourning the end of the last one. I didn't read this manga but I've watched the film, and I really liked it even if it felt unfinished. Hopefully with 12 episodes it means we get the full story. This was a very good first episode, I feel like we established the main relationships dynamics and got a good insight into the main characters core. Taichi is my new child.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! [6/12] - I continue to enjoy this group. Jane turned out to be a great addition instead of what I feared, but Peak really needs to step up so I can keep rooting for him and Thanwa, cause I'm also not a huge fan of the ex coming back as an obstacle for the couple. Latte and Almond are really great together and I'm curious how Almond will deal with his feelings for Latte, when he actually realizes he's having them.

🇹🇭Love Sea [4/12] - Before anything else, I love the ocean and I love when shows get out of the city. Also I like Mut. Now. I'm not a Mame hater. I'm a 'trauma is the only way to write deep characters' hater. I'm also a 'trauma gives you an excuse to be an asshole' hater. But most of all, I'm very much a 'love will fix you' hater. So just don't give me 3 out of 3 and it's fine. Also this last episode, all the talk about money and contracts made me feel some kind of way, although it doesn't seem to bother Mut so... And as much I like having Aya on my screen, Mook is really testing that line between cute and incredibly annoying. I'm not sure how long I'm staying with this one.

🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up! [4/12] - So... this is not good. The technical aspects of this are actually bad. Considering the number of sponsors is actually kinda incredible that it's so badly put together. The sound, the lighting, the editing, overall just... not good. Now, the rest. Look I don't want to ruin anybody's fun, so I'll keep watching this one quietly, unless something outrageous happens. But for the record, and this is all I'm gonna say, they are ruining the best parts of these characters and this story, and even if I ignore that (which I can't because it's an adaptation), it's pandering and it's a lazy attempt at recapturing the magic of msp, with a worse script and recycled material. Also I cannot believe they didn't put Atom in a trashing bag.

🇹🇭 My Stand-In [1/12] - For a number of reasons I'm waiting to binge this one. I do love watching the gifs on my dash though, pretty is pretty.

🇯🇵Ossan no Pants ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka! [9/11] - It's so good. I love them all. This last episode I was close to tears in several parts but the street proposal ended me. It's definitely one of those shows that I'm grateful that I get to watch even if I can't always find the words to talk about it. These characters have my whole heart. [everyone should be watching this and the wonderful @isaksbestpillow has made that possible with her subs. Here is the post with the latest episode. ]

🇹🇭SunsetxVibes [3/12] - It's ridiculous, it's fun, it's cute. Sun is such a simp. Man basically proposed before they were even dating. And yeah the way it started was not amazing, with the lying, but these two actually communicate about their expectations and what they're feeling which is better than a lot of shows right now. And I adore the sides.

🇹🇭The Rebound [2/12] - Everyone is gay and naked. And they play a sport of some kind.

🇹🇭The Trainee [1/12] - OffGun are back! I really liked the set up for this. It's only the first episode but I really like how they are walking the line between the comedy and the seriousness of the workplace. I love a good friend group so I'm looking forward to seeing how the relationships between all the interns grow. Poon is once again playing the silly brainless child of the pack but I don't care, I adore that kid for some reason. And next week we already got Gun crying so what's not to like?

🇹🇭 Wandee Goodday [10/12] - I already talked about my feelings regarding the last episode. I'm here for Oyei/Cher and Plakao. I love Inn and Great, they deliver with the chemistry but the DeeYak storyline is just a mess for me right now. I am also not looking forward to the inevitable redemption of the terrible parental figure.

🇹🇭 We Are [13/16] - The friendships are still great and mainly why I'm watching. I have a really good time watching those scenes. Only 3 episodes left and ChainPun continue to be the tinniest of crumbs. I don't expect much from this couple at this point and I'm a bit disappointed. FangTan are so cute and such good communicators. They are my favourites. QToey are cute. Now, Phum and Peem. Look PondPhuwin are really good at looking at each other like they're the only person in the universe. However. There's only so many times I can enjoy them staring at each other in slow mo. Once per episode oughta be enough I think. Hopefully now that they're actual boyfriends it gets a little less annoying.

QL - Finished

🇯🇵25 Ji, Akasaka de - What an incredible journey. I have to say it has been a while since a show surprised me this much, for the positive. For most of it I wasn't sure where it was gonna go or how it would end or who would be doing the running. The way they played with the show within a show was so well done. I loved the change in pov, which I always love in jbls, but it not only gave us the opportunity to see how Hayama's crush started but also we were allowed to see behind the mask that Hayama had been keeping up. Speaking of. I love him, one of my favourite characters of the year. And Komagine Kiita did an incredible job. I can't wait to watch him again when Tengu returns. If I had to say, the one thing I wish I had was more of Shirasaki's backstory. I wanted to understand better why his self-esteem got that bad. But that ending was great and honestly, I earned it.

🇵🇭Marahuyo Project - Well that was excellent. This show is beautiful. I want to hug them all and walk next to them. I really don't have the words for it right now so just go watch it. Because these characters are incredible and the visuals are stunning. All episodes here.

🇹🇭 Only Boo! - This is getting tiresome. Here it goes. Why? It was so great. They were the cutest shit and I had a smile on my face the entire episode. Even with the singing. It was wholesome and the mains delightful. And then... Heartbreak, time skip, no consequences, unearned happy ending. I mean Moo is a great character still, and Kang is the best boy, but I'm tired.

Rose Watches OJBL

Mood Indigo (2019) - I liked this one slightly better than the first. I think the visuals are stronger and there are some incredible shots throughout. The sex scenes are some of the best shot that I've ever seen. I love Kijima so even though I'm not always on board with prequels, it was great that we got more insight into him. Obviously we know this relationship was doomed from the start, and Kido has a lot to do with how we find Kijima in the beginning of The Novelist, but I can't help but feel for Kido. He is a mess that is struggling between the expectations that are on him (put there by others but also himself) and the affection and desire he feels for Kijima. And even without watching The Novelist there is always an air that this will not end well. For lack of a better phrase, it just wasn't meant to be. I'm looking forward to watching the rest of this series.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (2020) - One of my first thoughts when I was watching this was 'we are using the word unhinged too freely'. Cause Ryoji has little competition on that score. This is not an easy watch. I really liked the way it was shot even if at times that meant my view was too narrow so I couldn't look anywhere else but the 'uglier' parts. In completely different ways they were both stuck in an uncomfortable (yeah that's not really the best word but I can't think of another) place and I could feel that throughout. I'm not sure about the ending but they look happy, so what do I know?

Other - Watched

There's a lot airing so I didn't watch much outside ql. I finished Under the Skin and rewatched a couple of things. My watchlist got longer and I have a bunch of shows that I'll hopefully tackle during my summer holiday in July. Speaking of...

There is a lot coming next month, so here is a post with all the shows that have been announced for July that I updated to include Meet You at the Blossom that was recently announced. New jbl starts tomorrow!!!!

As usual my ask box is open for questions or requests. Have a wonderful week💜

[lottepriant]

On My Model(s) of Hypnosis Safety - and Communication and Vulnerability

Essays pop out of my fingers when interesting people talk to me on Discord about hypnosis theory. Basically unedited.

I often say that the dangerous part of hypnosis isn't the hypnosis, it's the people. People are able to coerce others into doing things all the time: in small ways (giving money to a charity collector in the street), medium ways (upselling someone on a car), and huge ways (long-term coercive relationships.) Change is an inherent part of interacting with another person, and to interact with another person is accepting, inherently, that they are going to have - to some degree or another proportional to your willingness to be open and vulnerable, and to the length and depth of that interaction - some ability (consciously done or not) to change you, to introduce you to new ideas, and to modify your emotional and mental state.

That is, basically, what communication is. To speak is to act upon another - this isn't true during just hypnosis, but all the time.

The idea that we shouldn't talk about that, or that we should obfuscate that vulnerability, seems far more dangerous to me than the alternative. Particularly the idea that telling someone that they could be manipulated is a cognitohazard that will make them more vulnerable to it; people who don't know what to look for, people who don't know what's happening to them or how it works, are not capable of identifying dangerous situations or dynamics. I say dynamics because it usually that which is the "problem", because by far the most dangerous thing to do is be in a longer-term relationship with someone. Repeated exposure to someone, being willing to be open and vulnerable with them increasingly as it goes on, is... inherently risking getting hurt. Through malice - in the case of deliberate abuse - or through things that are no fault of anyone's, like relationship breakdowns or even hurting someone's feelings. This is a continuum, really, and builds over time with closeness and exposure.

There's an existential crisis that I, and quite a lot of other hypnosis-and-psychology-y people I know have had - about that first fact. The fact that every time we interact with someone we are acting upon them. "Is it even ethical to talk to anyone? Or have a friendship or relationship with someone?" (Me, 2019, when I first got into hypnosis and my brain was exploding about it.) These days, I'm a very effective communicator: in being a hypnotist, an educator, writer, speaker, and, well, in general. (Not that those things are in any way mutually distinct - hypnosis is on a continuum with the rest of human experience, but I digress.) The kicker to that little crisis was "if I'm learning to talk to people better, does that make it worse? Is it morally worse if I'm more effective?"

Overall, the resolution to this, for me, is:

Being collaborative. Conversation is a give or take, as are all relationships, and building something with the other person.

Respecting agency. Very related to the give or take - letting the other person act and be and take up space within an interaction.

Considering the well-being of the people you interact with. Whether it's a little interaction in the street, a play partner, or a long-term romantic partner - how do your interactions make them feel? Does it further their wellbeing? In the short-term? medium and long-terms?

Be skillful and aware. Understand what it is that you're doing and the impacts they are, and could have.

Own it when you fuck up.

...On the other side, because its not only true that when X interacts with Y, Y is being changed - X is also being changed as well. Which means I try to:

Examine how being around another person makes me feel. Am I actually enjoying talking to someone? Or spending time with them?

Work out whether things seem appropriately reciprocal, or whether it feels like I'm having to do all the work.

Are they working to try and paint me into corners by the situations and contexts they put me in?

Do I feel like I have the ability to say no? Do my choices feel free when e.g. they ask if I want to spend time with them, or play, or buy a car from them?

The latter points are the ones that are about safety in every sort of dynamic, and I think that information is all. I think that making people aware that they are, by virtue of being a person, going to be impacted in a lot of ways, so they can make informed choices with who and how they are vulnerable with people is the most important thing.

[upslapmeal]

Notes from the Taskmaster 16x10 recording

The last two episode recordings I went to, I meant to make comprehensive notes when I got home afterwards that I would be able to look back at and post when the episode aired. I did not, in fact, end up doing that. So this time I was determined to have lots of notes, and made them on the go in the breaks in recording. However. They were made in a rush and I never went back through them to pad them out (you'd really think I would have learned by now). So instead of just having to rely on my memory, I ended up with an almost coded list of words and phrases that it's taken me pretty much 2 weeks to sit down and decipher lol. So with that said:

the pre-episode Greg-Alex entertainment was Greg getting Alex to sing a song about a recent news story to the tune of a song suggested by the audience - in this case it was Trump's lawsuit (the one in May 2023 since there are...a few) to the tune of Wuthering Heights

Alex really went for the whole live thing, and was constantly referring to it throughout the episode

when the contestants came onstage, I obviously first saw Sam in his bright colours and blond hair

we were right on the back balcony and my first impression from that distance was that he kinda looked like Jamie Laing lol

Greg made a passing comment about how he's been dressing in grey but I was completely taken by surprise when the vt rolled and he looked completely different!

I had assumed he'd actually buzzed his hair and didn't realise it was a wig until the ep aired

Sue made comments throughout the episode about how Sam looked like Dahmer

Lucy's prize task story, unsurprisingly, went on for ages and included a whole story about the holiday they went on that I tragically cannot remember

I was so glad they didn't cut 'untaffled' because I looked through my notes before again before watching the episode and couldn't for the life of me remember what she'd said

Greg's said that his immediate response to naked Alex in the prize task was that he was 'smooth like an eel'

After Julian's prize task there was a discussion about how people wanted to be buried, and at one point (I wish I could remember the conversation leading up to this) either Greg or Alex said they would be buried 'together forever in the Victoria monument'

There was a whole long debate about whether Sam intended to use nature as part of his doughnut task, and whether the bird toppling Ms Doughnut to her death should be counted

Greg told Sam to 'convince me to give you 3 points'

Sam went on talking about how amazing nature is and how we're all connected and at one point said 'consider the statistics.....3000' (I'm 99% sure this is what he said and I didn't just forget the rest of the quote)

Julian's exercise name was absolutely not a one-off, to the point they started running a 'cunt count' for the episode

Sue talked about how she had recently had an ADHD diagnosis, and that she kept viewing tasks holistically rather than paying attention to the details. This was specifically in relation to the exercise where she just did the same thing 4 times

I'm not sure if we saw the full extended version of Hotel Taskmaster, but we definitely saw a cut that included more than the aired version (though tbh I think they do that for most tasks and I just noticed this one bc we got the extended version)

We got an 'I put it to you' from Greg that Alex-as-Qrs looked genuinely cool

Lucy described Alex as having 'tight metallic buns' which Greg later referred to as his 'robot arse'

I cannot stress how much of a breakdown Susan had in the studio about the forks and marbles - you get a glimpse in the episode but that was nothing!

Susan also took AGES to do her throw in the live task - she kept on being about to throw before being interrupted, or saying her arms were too short, or that she needed a wee, or having a fit of giggles, and the longer it went the worse it got lol

Greg and Alex also had a go at it, and Sue wanted another go without the pressure. Greg and Sue got the ball in but Alex didn't

Don't ask me to remember the context, but at one point during the record, Greg told a story about someone he knew (whose name he said he would tell the others backstage) who would have sex in a cow mask and would demand 'LOOK AT ME!!!'. Anyway that was referred back to a few times in the ep

When Sam was given the trophy he just stood near-motionless with it for what felt like ages before we got to the hugs and everything

And now we enter the magical world of ~what on earth was this note referring to~ where I just hope someone else who was there (@politicalprocrastinator how's your memory?) sees this and can fill me in on what I've forgotten:

At some point around the prize / first task I wrote 'correct dog guess'. Whose dog? What was being guessed? Absolutely no idea

At some point there was a joke about the 'former Prime Minister', I think the idea being that by the time the episode aired we'd inevitably have a new PM? but I honestly can't remember

Someone called someone else submissive in a way notable enough for me to have written 'submissive' as a one-word bullet point, but not notable enough for me to actually remember

And now three bullet points which I will present in their original form:

Birthday

Bum hole in back

Get in bath

[mysteryanimator]

Breaking down Castlevania Nocturne Season 01 - Episode 06 "Gulity Men to be Judged" Olrox and Mizrak scenes (almost) shot by shot!

With episode 08's breakdown (which you can read here), I'm deciding to tackle episode 06! I'm glad people enjoyed my last breakdown as much as I did writing it! While I will try to be as in-depth as the last, I will try to keep it concise because there is a lot I want to cover with a 30-image limit AND I am not just covering the "I'm not in love with you" scene. I will be covering their other scenes in this episode because I cannot understate how extremely important specific shots are.

To preface this again, this is not the end-all-be-all for these scenes. This is just me making observations based on my media analysis and production studies and a deep passion for visual storytelling/storyboarding. I also consider myself an amateur, so please take what you will from this. My terminology may flip flop, and I will be super casual and informal in this analysis. However, I hope I still get my points across well!

Scenes will not just be "the curtain is blue because it is." Heavy moments with character interaction are important. They have very little time to go over this scene, they have a budget, they have a deadline, so every choice matters and it needs to push out a very specific message.

What is this? A close-up to start off this new scene?

I've talked before about how establishing shots are used to establish a new scene, which often than not is a big expansive shot of the area and of the characters/plot we're following. This still does that. In fact, this shot alone is giving us massive clues to what type of story we're getting. We're getting a much more closed-off private conversation that we shouldn't be privy to. We're getting a view of Macheoul from Olrox's inn, as if we're pulling away from the bustle of life just for a moment.

I'm going to be talking a lot about windows so let me set up the foundations to start us off. Symbolically, windows are important to get a deeper view into a person. Freedom, transparency in conversation, openness, and connection.

We're also getting a close-up of Mizrak and his eyes are cut off. Eyes are another symbolic way to showcase connection and openness but we're not seeing that. Intentionally. Contrasting things are happening. This is already alerting us that this is going to be a tense private scene where things are being bared out for us but things are still going to be closed off from being shared. Also a-ha that curtain being pulled off to the side, which previously it wasn't in episode 04. It is as if we're unveiling a bit more about these characters.

Now we get this long shot.

Hey, so fun fact, you know in the fan-animatic (which you can watch here I'm sorry for the self-plug lol, I was also writing this analysis when making that animatic), I had put in an absurd amount of divider/window themes it might've gotten really over the top (whoops). I was directly referencing those themes from this. Naturally, this inn room references 1750s architecture and how there is a lot of vertical and horizontal detailing, however, I will be excessively pointing them out in this breakdown, so let me also lay the foundations of how important these vertical lines are as well.

In a scene, you can make characters feel at a distance, divided and such not only by using physical distance between other characters and objects but implying it by having vertical lines between them. It can create invisible walls and borders, separating a character from the situation at hand.

Even when characters are really close to each other, putting a vertical line between them in the background can make all the difference. Example, you can a close distance physically, but they cannot connect on a deeper level because there's a metaphorical border by putting a vertical line between them in the background.

These borders pop up a lot in previous episodes surrounding Mizrak and Olrox. The only time it doesn't is in episode 08, where they're out in the open and Olrox unveils something he has guarded up until that point.

The gap between them for most of this scene is HUGE. This has to be established from the get-go to help build upon later scenes where the gap gets closed.

Olrox and Mizrak are both presenting closed-off poses. Mizrak is fully faced away, arms crossed, while Olrox has his leg crossed over himself as he reads, also not in any form facing Mizrak.

By the way, I want to point out, Olrox has the book the Abott uses to turn people into night creatures, he's reading it in Mizrak's presence. Olrox STOLE the book and presumably, Mizrak has seen it being used. Which, this whole scene gets alluded to in episode 4 around the time Olrox passes Mizrak the head. They both were planning to conspire together or at the very least, feed each other information from their side. They're both reluctant players of their team, seeing flaws in the plans of their 'leaders' as much as they do in their enemies. So without overstepping a line, Olrox and Mizrak forge a temporary alliance, which that line gets blurred by simple human emotions.

Close upppp

Oh my god guys he said the episode title !!! I think this goes without saying that each episode title is a line said from a character in the show, and that it is super important

We're still noticing this MASSIVE GAP between Olrox and Mizrak. Also, check that divide there. The vertical divides that are happening are the wooden wall detailing, the candle, more notably the window, that vertical line the biggest/important divide in the scene once again.

Mizrak is shoved into the corner of the screen, he's not important right now so he doesn't take up too much of a focus and, therefore is smaller. Which also means when Olrox follows up with the line "he's threatening you", there's less weight to the line because it's not the main focus, it's a joke. There's no real threat.

Which establishes another thing- their dynamic. In episode 03, Mizrak scoffs and chuckles "and you expect me to believe you care, vampire?" By Olrox chuckling out "he's threatening you" it shows us that this dynamic is reciprocated. They both make jabs at each other, which they know won't actually hurt them. This also means they know how to jab at each other and make it hurt. Foreshadowinggggg~

From here on out, Olrox gets a lot of close up shots, that are framed to JUST focus up on his face (and hand but I will talk about that later).

I'm going to end up skipping a few of Olrox's close up shots in this analysis because I'll end up repeating the same thing, but this is important. We need to see Olrox emote up close because he doesn't ever emote in a very 'animated' lively way. Compare how Richter/Annette/The Abbott and so many other characters emote, their hair and body drag with their face. Olrox does that super rarely because he controls himself. So here, when we get a sliver of his emotions, we're getting up close and personal with him.

Mid....shot? I'm going to be less picky about my terminology because what's important here is the message being conveyed to the audience.

Mizrak turns away from the window (not fully yet) to face him. I need to point out- that Mizrak is super pushed off to the side of the screen, but then his reflection is crossing over that divide.

So as mentioned, having a vertical line is intended to make the characters feel separated from each other. Having a character cross the border can mean they want to overcome the metaphorical walls that are being set up. For better or for worse, it depends of on the character's motives and the context of each respective shot.

Mizrak is passing through a divide to get insight into Olrox. The curtain, again, pushed and tied off to the side. A window. A view into the past. Which I need to make clear, only Mizrak's reflection crosses over the boundary, as if to let his inner self connect to Olrox. While physically, Mizrak keeps himself guarded in case.

By the way, Olrox is fully in his own box. A frame inside a frame if you will. This helps draw attention to a character BUT also fully isolates them. Mizrak, by this question, is calling out Olrox. It's an isolated incident solely caused by Olrox.

Olrox indulges him in this conversation, but he's not fully facing him. He periodically does, but never fully.

I want to point out, that we have gotten Olrox from a front view, and now we're getting a 3/4 view. The next will be a side profile of him, as if he's turning inwards.

By the way, horizontal lines can act to lead someone in a direction. Because this is a western show made for a western audience, most of the audience will read left to right. So naturally our eyes will start left of the screen and move right (unless there's a major focus placed else where). This also just helps in general to move from shot to shot as it will imply for us where to look next, for the upcoming shot. This is also indicated by the massive empty space on the right of Olrox.

So this shot. His eyes are purposefully covered up and Mizrak turns around. Also it looks very similar to the third shot of this whole entire scene but with those key differences I mentioned. It's to alert to us the tone of the section has shifted.

Right now, Olrox is beginning to open up about a vulnerable personal matter from his past, but we can't see him emote—not yet anyway. He will choose and decide when to invite us into his emotions. We see Mizrak reacting to him though. Still giving him that space, but he's now engaged into Olrox's conversation.

Ok skipping a shot forward, but this close-up of him closing the book is basically telling us his mission to dig further into the Abbott's plans is unimportant now. As is closing off the current story he's reading to tell Mizrak a story of his past.

Also followed by the line "He was proud to be Mohcian, with roots deep in the land and forest" as he balls his hand into a fist against the book.

Hands are a superrrr common thing to use for symbolic purposes. It can represent connection. Humanity. Strength. Many more than this list, but a lot of human symbolism and motifs tie down a lot to what Olrox's previous lover is like- along with what Mizrak is like.

Pspspspsps in episode 3, Mizrak's introduction is with his hands, might be a stretch though because that intro is also cross-symbolic. Regardless I thought it was important to at least flag

CLOSE UP SIDE VIEW.

This cut from his hand to his face honestly makes it so gut-wrenching because you're suddenly slapped with Olrox emoting. Olrox's side profile here is acting here that he cant fully face his past, he can't fully face Mizrak as he talks about his past love. Sure he will here and there look over to him, but he can't hold it.

Also, this is what Mizrak would be seeing. While yes, a close up shot so its not entirely a one for one POV shot, we can argue Mizrak is only focused on Olrox's face. We as an audience are forced to be focused on Olrox's face and his face only because of this camera shot. Who is not to say Mizrak is also a part of the audience. Especially since the next shot is of Mizrak looking at Olrox.

Mid shottttt

So cutaway shots like this can help with things like avoiding to keep animating Olrox talking/moving because that will eat up your deadlines, budgets, etc (I think, I can be wrong). This also gives us insight into Mizrak because we haven't seen him for a few shots and oh my god, Mizrak is emoting too.

Right now, Mizrak is pulled away from the window divide. He's giving him the space to talk. Divides are not always bad, again it depends on the context of the shot and what you want to portray.

Also, we're seeing Macheoul behind him. People get to walk freely, poor and rich, sinners and saints and all the people who sit in the middle of those divides. Until Ezerbet's plan becomes finalized. There are a lot of colonization themes in this show and this show is about fighting for freedom. In order to show what freedom is like, the privilege to have it, we must acknowledge the opposite.

We're doing it through Annette AND Olrox.

Mid shot again, featuring Olrox instead.

Now this is supposed to be a mirrored version Mizrak's shot because now Olrox is turned towards Mizrak here as well.

Mizrak mirrors the traits of Olrox's previous lover.

As Olrox talks about his previous lover, we as an audience begin to notice how Olrox's previous lover matches the themes of the show. Revolution. Fight for freedom. This also foreshadows that Mizrak will end up fighting with the revolutionaries, Annette, Maria, Richter.

Skipping one of Olrox's close ups to where Mizrak begins to prod at Olrox's story. He is a little bit too invested in Olrox's life.

MIZRAK CROSSES OVER THE BOUNDARY. THAT DIVIDE. The window divide that keeps them in their separate boxes, he's crossing it over to call him out. He leans forward, then leans back as if to prod him and then go back into his safe zone. His box.

This close-up cut is in between Olrox and Mizrak talking. It's supposed to completely throw us off because its so sudden because we're not expecting this AT ALL. Sure we know Olrox would get riled by this comment, but it's so fast its a literal blur, and this shot doesn't last that long either.

He's also choosing to run. Which in a way, make its slightly more terrifying. He has the ability to float, and (please correct me if I'm wrong) would be cheaper/faster for him to just float really fast. So the choice for him to use his feet to get to Mizrak is a conscious choice.

Which I won't lie, it brings me to this line.

"She said to me, if you would love me as a man, then live as a man, Travel as a man." 

Said none other than Dracula himself in the first episode of the first Castlevania series. Olrox has a lot of times where he just chooses to walk/run, "travel as men do. Slowly." In turn, he's way more human still, despite his supernatural speed. There are also just a lot of parallels between Dracula and Olrox but I digress. It's pulling away from my analysis, but I thought it was a very important thing to note.

This is a low-angle shot. This shot is TENSE. Low angled shots are to make the character's seem powerful, larger then life because it puts the camera, in turn the audience, beneath what we're watching. At a lower place.

I'm here yet again to point out the divide. Mizrak even leans AWAY from the divide, as if to go back into his box. Olrox taunts the divide when he leans over. Not yet crossing it.

Until.

This close-up shot is so diabolical and it's so masterful.

Which, let's get this out of the way- It looks like they're about to kiss because they're that close to each other. We know they won't not, but it's the tension and the conversation we're having now just adds to it. We as an audience are now wondering what Olrox has planned for Mizrak because why is he that close? It is also not harmful bait either because we have them both naked in bed with each other prior. This is a set up for something bigger for season 2. (Or season 3... season 4... guys please stream Nocturne so we can get more seasons.)

Mizrak is pushed into his little box as Olrox stands over that divide and has an overwhelming huge visual weight over this scene. Mizrak, despite having very little of the screen, and being cornered by Olrox, is being very bold and questioning Olrox and his plans.

There are other ways to have someone feel like they have power over a scene besides a low-angle shot For instance, you can have them take an overwhelming amount of the screen so they feel big and powerful. To make someone appear weaker, you make them smaller in the scene (in other cases it'll make a character feel unimportant, like much earlier for that long shot, however in this case it is not). Right now, Olrox is trying to overwhelm Mizrak. This shot is suffocating, there is very little space between these two characters AND the visual breathing space for the eye to rest is almost nonexistent because Olrox takes up so much space. He's trying to read him and pull out his insecurities at this very moment. It won't work though. Olrox knows a lot about Mizrak. He has analyzed this man back and front, inside and out (I mean that metaphorically, but sure, you can take it literally too) but this is an impulse reaction, much like how Mizrak in episode 03 had an impulse reaction to pin Olrox to the wall.

Olrox feels threatened.

We don't know step by step what lead to the death of his lover, what drove Julia killing to him, but Olrox has opened up and Mizrak immediately begins prodding at his life the moment he mentions Julia killed his past love. How dare Mizrak tell him the person he would do anything for, that his death, was his fault. How dare Mizrak say Olrox would turn him. How dare Mizrak presume he loves him.

How dare Mizrak overstep the invisible boundary they've established.

Olrox moves off that divide back into his box.

BTW, side tangent:

I don't know if this was intentionally done but Mizrak's angle is really similar here, the key difference being his eyes and being shuffled into the corner more. Also, Olrox is there LMAO, but his eyes are cut off. It's like, in one truth being revealed, another one is being hidden. This is the very first shot of Mizrak we see in this section versus the very last time we see Mizrak in this section. Though this I'm a bit unsure about so I won't delve further than that.

Ok, tangent out of the way, the last shot for this scene!

This feels like a POV shot from Mizrak.

Front facing. Dead center. No fanfare at all. Blunt. Straight to the point. There's no hiding the truth. He is the subject of main focus.

Olrox is not lying, but it's not the full truth either, which is alluded to the fact the shot gives off the impression that it is symmetrical but it's not. Visually, the weight is so much heavier to the right, purely because of the bed, more of Olrox's face is exposed and the lights. The other side of Olrox is in the shadow and his hair covers up his eyes and parts of his body.

I'll split the shots into two without annotations just so you can see what I mean. Having this shot be split down the middle is wild because they feel soooo different from each other.

This one line is SO NUNANCED, there are so many layers to this (like an onion). So as we get a statement from Olrox saying he isn't in love with him. There is more then meets the eye, much like this shot. The front Olrox puts on.

Love is a very complex emotion, as is all emotions.

Regardless of love, the ending shot of this interaction is supposed to hit us like a brick wall. It forces us to face directly what Olrox is saying and we (including Mizrak) cannot turn away from what he has displayed. It feels heavy as Olrox's glowing eyes bore into us.

The scene concludes, and Lacrimosa, the song Edouard sings throughout the entire section, ends. I don't talk about music because I'm not well versed in that area, but I've gathered that Lacrimosa is a hymn sung in catholic masses. Lacrimosa literally means to weep. It's about mourning. I've seen it here and there about the Virgin Mary/Lady of Sorrows, things about mourning over sinners preparing to be judged for eternity.

We enter a scene, where Olrox mourns a lover, followed by Mizrak judging Olrox for what he did to preserve that love. His sin, his guilt.

Before we get into their later conversation, Mizrak and Olrox's reaction to the arrival of Ezerbet says a lot so I'll quickly touch on that.

Wow this mid shot honestly says a lot about the characters, how they pose and how they hold themselves, AND why they're even conspiring with each other in the first place. It's literally just for a second, its a still image except for the petals. You can recognise how, despite their very tense relationship with each other, they both share their disdain for Ezerbet's plan. No matter their differences. No matter the argument they had before.

Omg Myst what does this window divide mean? I hear no one asking, well, its almost like Mizrak is finally confronted with the vampire world, confronted that the vampire messiah is here, crossing over to look at what's happening. Crossing over to look into Olrox's world.

NOW, let's dive into their later encounter!

We're establishing a new scene, so this is our establishing shot. Looking onto the streets of Macheoul celebrating their Messiah, while we pull back into the private thoughts of Mizrak and Olrox once again. They're also back in their respective boxes, as you can see through the window's dividers.

We will never get to know what happened between the "I'm not in love with you" and this present moment, but they know to go back to their respective places, there's a much more pressing matter.

THIS SHOT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME FOR A PARTICULAR CALL BACK.

I'm calling this out, it's a reference to episode 04.

When they're both behind their respective partners, they look at them so forlornly, while the other recounts the horrors of their lives LOOKING DOWN. They're both also put at the same heights. Like Olrox is really tall, but for the sake of having these scenes parallel, he's sitting.

Also, the way Mizrak's head turns to look at Olrox in episode 06 gives me unbelievable psyche damage because he's looking at him so gently and Olrox never gets to see and it makes me ache so bad. I love animation y'all.

A massive theme of these two looking at each other from behind with such worry and pain, like episode 08. It will probably appear again in later seasons because it happens A LOT with these characters, so this won't be the last time.

Here we have a high angle close up shot! God this expression he makes breaks me.

While not as extreme as other examples in episode 04 or episode 08, its still a high angle regardless. This high-angle shot looks DOWN onto Olrox and makes him appear more vulnerable, to feel powerless. Couple that fact he pushed further to the side of the screen, taking up the same amount of space on the screen as the literal bed. He talks gently, but talks about the horrific events he's witnessed in the past. He's sidestepping for now. The argument they had, that doesn't matter now.

What matters is that he's going to basically relive it again if nothing is done about Ezerbet. People will die for the sake of power, for the sake of amassing a paradise that only cultivates for their personal needs.

Olrox's eyes poke through without the 'glow'. It just pops against the dark interior of the room. This allows for us, the viewer to be drawn to his eyes. How distraught he feels.

Did you accidentally miss that shot of him where he looks forlorn at Olrox, BAM, you're getting a close-up of it. (Also another cutaway to into not animating Olrox talking.)

Also, the line that they cut to going "They said were they doing it for their god." GOES TO MIZRAK. They could've cut to any line but they chose this line. Mizrak has been convincing himself for this entire season he's doing this for God, horrors and sins committed. It was for God. There's a difference between the Abbott's and Mizrak's justifications to do these things, the Abbott's more plainly put out and explored in season 01, which I won't explore here because then this analysis will get too long (and I haven't fully analyzed him yet so I could be wrong) but the Abbott fears what he has built is being torn apart and will sacrifice others to keep his position.

Mizrak. He has nowhere else to go. The world has abandoned him and God has saved him from whatever trial and tribulation he's gone through. Therefore he will do the same for others, as God has done for him.

The people in charge of this scene knew it was important for us to see Mizrak's reaction here. We need to see a more gentle version of Mizrak because prior, Mizrak had just been a very closed-off yet fiery stubborn man, who would literally growl at the people who he saw as a threat and would continue to do so. Not that long ago we saw him tearing into Olrox, indirectly telling him it was his fault that his lover died.

Yet now.

He's listening. He's here. He understands.

Which by the way, Mizrak always constantly has this very specific eye highlights in his eye, which (in my personal opinion) makes me drawn to looking at his eyes first whenever his face is shown on screen. This a very good example of being drawn to his eyes first because, amidst the darkness of the interior, you're drawn to his eyes. Then you notice how softly, how concerned he looks. Which is the main premise of this very specific shot. Mizrak, despite being guarded, can be gentle.

This close up shot allows us to transition to the next scene, cutting off Olrox's eyes in the reflection as we look out into the streets of Macheoul. We're now being pulled away from their private conversation, as we will now not be allowed to hear whatever Olrox will undoubtedly tell Mizrak and Mizrak to Olrox.

We now close off episode 06's breakdown!

I am honestly such a sucker for the division lines in a composition to portray distance even when people are close to each other. I am also a massive sucker for call backs and parallels, I literally cannot get enough of them. Like a WHOLE mood will shift completely if you shift character and camera placements.

Hopefully, my own opinions on the matter didn't sway you too much, so I'm hoping this implores you to rewatch Castlevania Nocturne! Look out for those key details not only in Mizrak and Olrox, but in a lot of characters in the show as well! Each character within a shot is framed in very particular ways for a reason. So we must wonder why and question it. I also hope this gives you a deeper appreciation for the work that goes into shows like these!

Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading as I did writing this!

[butterflydm]

processing the new! s3! trailer

Okay, this morning my brain was Rings of Power but now the Wheel of Time brain has activated and I must devour and process this trailer before anything else can happen in my life.

Overall vibe: Wow.

Anyway, this breakdown is mostly for my own reference.

Fascinated by the idea that Egwene is potentially going to take a bye on going to the Waste? I thought they mentioned her going at some point in this season in some earlier interviews, though, but now I wonder if her dream training going to be all via TAR?

Them going back to the White Tower after Moiraine's break with the Amrylin seems like it will be very dangerous for all of them, which was a large part of why it seemed plausible to me that they wouldn't (plus Sheriam not being in s3), but I'm interested to see how that happens. It really does depend on what the show views as their most important endgame threads for the characters, which we don't know.

I'm also not sure what's real and what's vision or dream. Because some stuff (dark!everyone) definitely seems like a vision Moiraine has (in the orb that is taking the place of the silver rings?).

Okay, okay. First I'm going to go through all the shots to see what I can see.

0:01: Looks like we're standing at the cusp of Rhuidean. Moiraine, Rand, and Rhuarc (doesn't look like Lan to me) are my guesses for the three at the front. Can't tell who the others might be.

0:02: Moiraine. Dead? Dying? Just injured? Her face looks like she took a slide in some sand.

0:03: Three statues of ladies. Might be in the White Tower? Very big place. We have some people charging forward at haste. Might be Aes Sedai.

"The world is changing."

0:06: Moiraine stands in the rain in a city.

0:07: shot of Rand dressed up... very old-fashioned english lord prep, with very defined lip makeup, in a room that appears to be white. Vision of some kind?

0:08: Lan in the desert/

0:10: Liandrin pulling down some cloth from over her face but I think she might have the lower part of her face covered in blood? Several figures dressed in black behind her. Black Ajah?

0:10b: Elayne puts a crown on over her head. Is that a novice dress? It looks different than the ones from last season? I think? Lots of buttons on the cuff.

0:12: Is that the Hall of Servants in the White Tower, maybe? Siuan talking to Leane, maybe?

"Who knows how deep the shadow's roots have taken hold here."

0:14: Moiraine gently cradles An Orb. My thought here is that this will replace the silver rings from the books. We see threads begin to channel into the orb.

016: wide shot of someone (Moiraine?) standing on a pile of rocks in the desert as the Power swirls around.

0:19: Egwene getting rushed through her Accepted test, maybe? We appear to be in the correct room, with the Power being used on the rings. Sheriam not being there seems odd, because it doesn't seem like the actress was unable to shoot for s3, at least from what she said in her interview a while back.

Moiraine: "I have seen a thousand thousand futures."

0:20: Moiraine lying on the dirt on her side.

0:21: an eye opens. I am not good enough at eyeball recognition to know who it belongs to. My guess is Moiraine, due to context clues.

0:22: Moiraine stands up as the sun potentially is rising behind her.

0:22b: A foot drags through dust. That's all I got. Maybe Rand going through the columns? I'm also bad at legs and feet.

0:23: Nynaeve, back in the Tower in her Accepted clothes? Again, it seems so reckless to go back to the Tower considering that the Amyrlin tried to kidnap Rand. But I guess the Wondergirls are known for doing incredibly reckless things so... that's in character.

0:23b: okay, here it looks like maybe Egwene and Rand are in the Waste together? Her outfit seems odd for the Waste though. They are lying together on a circular rug but not touching at all. Egwene is looking over at Rand. He looks like he might be in pain? Could be a modified version of one of her Accepted Tests or she could really be in the Waste or they could be in TAR. At the very end of the clip, Rand looks over to meet Egwene's gaze.

0:23c: Moiraine is flailing around upside down. Maybe channeling?

0:24: Lan and Rand training together.

0:28: two people walking in the desert. they are becloaked and so I cannot tell who they are.

"In every future where I lived..."

0:29: Rand and Moiraine speaking to the Wise Ones in the Waste, I bet. Rand is down to his shirtsleeves. He is looking over at Moiraine and then she looks back at him at the end of the clip.

0:29b: it's the tree! The big one in Rhuidean that I will surely spell wrong if I try it here. I think we see the tips of the glass columns around it.

0:31: yeah, I think the foot drag from earlier was Rand in the columns because the lighting seems similar in this shot of Rand in what are probably the columns.

"...Rand dies."

0:34: dramatic shot of Rand dying. There's a bloody sword next to him and he's being cradled by a woman who is screaming but things are moving too fast for be to certain who. Blurry face.

0:34b: Aviendha walking in the Waste?

0:36: Lanfear macking on Rand's neck.

"And the only way he lives..."

0:37: Rand nuzzles Lanfear back.

0:37b: completely different setting and outfit, Lanfear is annoyed at someone. I think this is TAR because it's the kind of outfit we've seen her wearing in TAR.

0:38: Lanfear strangles Moiraine in a bed.

0:39: Lanfear strangles Moiraine in the desert.

0:40: Lanfear kills Moiraine on a city street (there is blood)

"...is if I don't."

0:42: Moiraine is telling this all to Lan, the two of them appear to be alone.

0:43: Alanna, Ihvon, and Maksim, prepping for battle. They are in a city of some kind. Maybe Tar Valon. She channels and rips up some massive amounts of pavement, damn girl.

0:44: this looks like Rand having another power explosion, maybe in his room at night.

0:45: Rand is in the Waste -- maybe this is him about to go off to Rhuidean? There's a bunch of people up the stairs behind him, like this is a spectator sport. I think that might be Moiraine near him? Maybe?

0:46: Lanfear, I think in TAR again.

0:46: A wider shot of Rand with the steps and the people who are standing up there, with I think maybe Moiraine standing with him on the platform.

0:47: Warder training in the Tower? Apparently this is the actor tipped as Galad? There are Accepted/Novices/Sisters standing behind and admiring, as they were wont to do with Galad.

0:47b: Lan twirls his sword.

0:48: Blacksmithing is going on.

0:49: A woman who is at the blacksmith's. I thought it was Min maybe but the hair seems way too long.

0:49b: Mat, who is in a very dark place. But hey, new clothes! But also I think he might have blood on his neck.

0:50: Moghedien is talking to Liandrin. Moggy has gotten out of Ishmael's spare shirt and is in a more tightly-fitting black outfit now.

0:51: Moiraine and Siuan kiss in a building that has sides that let in a lot of light.

0:51b: someone kisses Perrin? Is this a Faile sighting? Is that the woman from the blacksmith's in the earlier shot?

0:52: woman with long reddish-blonde hair wearing a dark red shirt and a very dark black hat of some kind? when I first saw her, she reminded me of Elayne but I don't think it's Elayne

0:52b: Egwene. I think she's in TAR, because of the blurry way it's being shot.

0:52c: Rand screams in the glass columns.

0:53: I'm pretty sure this is Janduin finding Shaiel/Tigraine's dead body (and their baby missing). :-( I'm guessing Rand sees it in the glass columns and that's why he's screaming in the earlier shot - they seem like they're in the same position.

0:53b: Liandrin fighting on city streets. Bloody face. It looks like she's fighting Alanna.

0:54: Perrin all dressed up in armor, with flames behind him. Battle of Two Rivers, I'm guessing.

0:55: Alanna is screaming in grief. :-(

0:55b: We are in the Ways, and it looks like Lanfear is leading a shadow!crew of all of our mains, hunting down someone who is crawling on the floor away from them bleeding.

0:58: Rand carrying Moiraine. Maybe unconscious. Maybe.

"You cannot afford to fail again."