#I'm addicted to having comments on but man! Can i just watch ONE (1) show where my blood doesn't

[essenceofarda]

.

[deliciousangelfestival]

Love Me A Little

Character: Secretary!Bucky x Female!Reader

Words: 1,539

Summary: "Love me, even just a little." When she uttered those words, they struck Bucky like a bolt of lightning, leaving him utterly bewildered. After all, he was just a secretary—his world and hers seemed galaxies apart.

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

A/N: Check out the male version of this story - Be Mine.

It was already 1:00 a.m., and the streets lay deserted, easing Bucky's drive. The sleek black Bugatti smoothly entered the apartment basement car park. Just one more turn, and he would find his usual parking spot.

"Screech." The sound of tires screeching echoed in the empty basement.

"Huh?" Bucky's foot instinctively hit the brake as he caught sight of the familiar figure standing in front of his car.

"Y/N?"

It's you. The sole daughter of the Rogers family, the heiress to Starlight Enterprises, a conglomerate spanning oil and gas, telecom, retail, and financial services.

You had fled, prompting the company to dispatch security teams in search of you.

And here you were.

Bucky stepped out of the car. "What are you doing? Don't you realize everyone's been searching for you?"

You scoffed, your tone laced with defiance. "So what? At least everyone will learn that I'm serious. I refuse to marry that guy."

Bucky understood the depth of your frustration. Your family was orchestrating an engagement between you and their business partner. But you vehemently opposed it. He comprehended why; the man they wanted you to marry was notorious—a playboy and a drug addict.

Unable to sway your resolve, Bucky carefully chose his words. "You should go home."

He reached out, gently clasping your hand, his touch pleading, wanting to guide you to safety.

But you recoiled, pushing his hand away. "I don't want to."

Bucky's heart sank, his expression pained. "Your family is worried about you."

Your retort was sharp, cutting. "Are they really? Or are they just afraid of losing their golden ticket?"

A tense silence enveloped them as Bucky grappled with the weight of your words. As the secretary to your brother, Steve, the Vice President, he was privy to the inner workings of wealthy families, aware that most marriages were arranged for business purposes.

Like Steve and Peggy, who defied the odds and found happiness together despite the pressures of their world, you refused to succumb to a loveless marriage.

With teary eyes, you gazed at Bucky, desperation etched in every tear. "I'll tell my parents I'll marry you instead."

Bucky sighed, feeling the weight of your request once more. You had asked him this before, seeking refuge from the loveless future awaiting you. Each time, he had declined.

"Not everything will always go your way," he murmured, his words heavy with resignation. "You've been living in a bubble as Princess Rogers." He paused, unable to bring himself to utter the name of your family's empire. "Now you're facing reality."

You fought back the tears, stung by his harshness. It was the first time Bucky had spoken so coldly to you. "Do you think my feelings for you are fake?"

"My whole life has been arranged from A to Z without my opinion," you continued, your voice trembling with suppressed emotion.

"The only thing I have is my dream of us living happily ever after. Can I at least have that?" Your breaths came in ragged gasps as you struggled to contain your emotions.

"Stop dreaming. Go home," Bucky commanded, his voice firm as he pointed behind you.

'Screech.'

With a screech of tires, a white Mercedes arrived to collect you. It dawned on you that Bucky had already informed the security team of your whereabouts.

As you watched Bucky walk away, a surge of determination washed over you. Clenching your fists, you whispered, "I'll show you."

########

A few days later

The entire Rogers family had gathered for tonight's dinner, including your grandparents, Thomas Rogers, the esteemed founder of the company. Bucky joined the dinner as well, having become one of the company's key figures, seated right beside you.

Despite the gravity of your previous conversation, you seemed to have put it aside, acting as if nothing had happened when you saw Bucky.

The dinner unfolded in its usual extravagant manner, with everyone engaging in polite small talk until dessert was served.

Your grandmother, Anna, broke the silence. "It's wonderful that we could all come together like this. We must discuss our youngest's engagement."

Your mother, Sophia, nodded, her smile gentle. "I met with them four days ago, and we've already ironed out all the details, from the church to the wedding."

Bucky's mind raced. Four days ago? That's precisely when you had gone missing.

Anna's excitement bubbled over. "This wedding will be magnificent. I can hardly contain myself."

But only the two women seemed enthused; your grandfather, Thomas, and your father, Benjamin, remained stoic, while your brother Steve stayed silent.

Then, a sudden sound cut through the air—a sharp "clank" as a fork stabbed into a plate.

All eyes turned to you.

"I don't like it," you stated flatly, your voice cutting through the tension like a knife.

Sophia's hand hesitated mid-air, poised to call the waitress, but froze when she heard her daughter's words.

"I don't like anything," you continued, your voice ringing with defiance. "I don't like that person, the wedding, anything."

"Y/N, stop," Sophia interjected, her tone tinged with frustration. "We've discussed this."

"Discuss?" you retorted bitterly. "Do you mean when you ignore my words?"

Anna's patience wore thin. "Y/N, enough with the tantrum. This concerns the entire family."

You crossed your arms defiantly. "I refuse to marry him."

Anna rose from her seat, ready to reprimand you, but a sharp glance from Thomas halted her in her tracks. Without a word, she sank back down, chastened by her husband silent command.

Thomas fixed you with a steady gaze, the same gaze that had once spoiled you as his beloved granddaughter. "Explain to me the reason why."

"I don't love him," you declared, your voice trembling with emotion. "I love someone else."

A sudden palpitation coursed through Bucky's chest. He sensed the situation spiraling out of control.

"Whose the person you love?" Thomas inquired, his voice firm.

You didn't hesitate. "Bucky."

'Ba-dump'

The room fell into stunned silence, broken only by the rapid thudding of Bucky's heart echoing in his ears, his mind racing as he grappled with the revelation unfolding before him.

Bucky rose hastily, his intention to apologize to the Chairman halted as your hand clasped his, the determination in your eyes stopping him in his tracks. It was the first time he had seen you like this, and it sent a shiver down his spine.

As all eyes turned towards you, you swallowed hard before speaking up. "And I'm pregnant. Bucky is the father."

The room erupted in chaos as Sophia and Anna screamed in unison.

"What?" they exclaimed in disbelief.

"Bucky! How dare you touch my daughter!" Sophia lunged forward, her hand reaching for Bucky's hair, but Benjamin intervened, restraining her.

Bucky opened his mouth to protest and deny the accusation, but the words stuck in his throat. He was taken by surprise, too.

"Silence," Thomas, the Chairman's authoritative voice, cut through the commotion, bringing an abrupt end to the chaos.

He rose from his seat, followed by Benjamin and Steve, their expressions a mix of shock and concern.

Fixing Bucky with a steely gaze, Thomas uttered just two words. "A word."

Bucky swallowed hard, his heart pounding as he replied, "Yes, Sir," bracing himself for the inevitable confrontation.

########

In Benjamin's office, Bucky stood before the three men, the weight of their scrutiny heavy upon him as they remained silent. Finally, Thomas broke the tension with a direct question. "Is everything true?"

Bucky knelt before his boss and friend, his voice steady but his heart pounding. "No, sir. None of it is true. I've never laid a hand on her."

Thomas's expression softened, a flicker of relief crossing his features. "Good."

Bucky let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, grateful for Thomas's understanding.

But then Benjamin spoke up, his tone contemplative. "Then why don't you like my daughter?"

Bucky's brow furrowed in confusion as he lifted his head to meet Benjamin's gaze.

"She's better off with you than with that spoiled man," Steve interjected, his voice firm.

Benjamin nodded in agreement, his eyes holding a hint of understanding.

Bucky was taken aback. "What?"

Thomas leaned forward, his voice grave. "The wedding arrangement was orchestrated by my wife and Y/N's mother. I'm relieved my granddaughter took a stand today."

Steve clapped Bucky on the shoulder, a mixture of relief and gratitude in his eyes. "I nearly lost my cool when she said she was pregnant. I almost punched you. Thank goodness it was a lie."

Bucky struggled to find words, overwhelmed by the unexpected turn of events.

Steve's tone softened. "Stay with her. I won't allow my sister to marry that man."

As the men continued their discussion, Bucky's mind raced, unable to fully comprehend the depth of their support.

Excusing himself, Bucky closed the door behind him, only to find you waiting for him outside.

Your worried expression melted his defenses as you approached him.

"What did they say?" you asked, searching his eyes for answers.

Bucky hesitated, then shook his head. "Nothing."

You breathed a sigh of relief and pulled him into a tight hug, his body stiffening like a log. Lifting your head to meet his gaze, determination flashed in your eyes.

"I'll make you love me," you vowed softly. "Even just a little."

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Author Note: Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account.

Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating.

Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

[lehnsharrk]

The *New* Fassbender Psychopath Scale 😈

I wanted to expand on the one introduced on the Kelly Clarkson show, below are the Fassy movies I've seen, my general "psychopath" rating for each character and reason why

Disclaimers:

For context I am essentially swapping "psychopath" with "evil," I am in no way trying to tie this to any psychological disorders or do a deep dive into any characters. Just a very surface-level "how nefariously evil is this character?"

These are my opinions, I encourage you to share, comment and make your own ratings. I will also be updating as I watch more of his films.

There *will* be spoilers so if you haven't seen these movies/shows, consider yourself warned!

The scale will also be a 0-5. I'm using 👿 and a zero will be a 👍

Let's go! 🦈

Inglourious Basterds: Lt. Hicox 👍

Movies 🎥

Goes undercover to help defeat the n*zis (and technically helps get a few killed, even though he dies in the process)

Centurion: Quintus Dias 👿

Just a soldier, trying to survive but I'm going to give him something for killing some people

Jane Eyre: Mr. Rochester 👿👿👿

Keeps his wife, suffering from mental illness, *locked in the walls* and keeps it a secret so he doesn't scare off another woman he's trying to marry. Dude...

X-Men: Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto 👿����

Erik's anger comes from a place of trauma and his worst fears keep coming to fruition. That being said, he does blindly distrust all humans, betrays Charles multiple times and causes so much unnecessary destruction.

Shame: Brandon Sullivan 👍

A man suffering with addiction and trauma, plus added stress and guilt when his sister stays over. Wish I could give him a hug.

Haywire: Paul 👿👿

Honestly he's not in it for that long and I wasn't paying attention but I guess he double crossed the main character and shot someone?

Prometheus/Alien Covenant: David 8 👿👿👿

I will defend David with my dying breath but I'll be honest he does some horrendous things. Intentionally infecting humans with alien parasites, massacring an entire planet, killing and experimenting on someone he loved? But the humans were mean to him...

12 Years a Slave: Edwin Epps 👿👿👿👿👿

Sadistic slave owner and r*pist, yep about as evil as it gets

Frank: Frank 👍

Poor Frank has done no wrong, just wants to make music and wear mask

Slow West: Silas Selleck 👿

Starts out tricking the main character so he can find a bounty but has a change of heart

Macbeth: Macbeth 👿👿👿👿

M*rders the king in his sleep so he can become king, orders Banquo and his son killed (although the son does escape) and burns Macduff's wife and children at the stake. One evil dude.

Steve Jobs: Steve Jobs 👿👿

Forget being a greedy businessman, a neglectful father and stealing credit from his friend and business partner, his cardinal sin was dipping his feet in a fucking public toilet

The Light Between Oceans: Tom Sherbourne 👿

Yes, he and his wife were heartbroken after their miscarriages but he does technically kidnap a child, keeping her from her grieving mother. His guilt starts eating at him and he desperately tries to keep his wife from getting prosecuted

Assassin's Creed: Cal/Aguilar 👿

I don't remember what or if there was a plot for this movie but I remember he was arrested for killing someone and then also kills some more people so I'll give him something.

Alien Covenant: Walter 1 👍

Song to Song: Cook 👿👿

This movie was hard to follow but I'm giving him a two because he might be a groomer (he met the main character, who he later sleeps with, at 16) and he cheated Ryan Gosling's character out of the copyright on his songs.

Don't really think Walter can be evil, he doesn't have the capacity that David does

Next Goal Wins: Thomas Rongen 👿

Verbally abusive and throws things. Also intentionally misgenders and deadnames a character because he's upset at her, all for the sake of character development!?

A Bear Named Winnie: Lt. Coleburn 👿

TV 📺

He brings a bear to a military camp, A BEAR. Also leaves the bear at a zoo, letting her live out her life in a small cage instead of releasing her back to the wild when he had the chance

William & Mary: Lukasz 👿👿👿

Jumped through the episode to watch the Fassy bits but ew I hate this one. Guy m*lests the midwife that just delivered he and his girlfriend's baby

Sherlock Holmes & The Case of the Silk Stocking: Charles Allen 👿👿👿👿

Even though it's two characters, I'm rating them the same. One's a child m*lester and murder and one knew about it and did nothing

The Agency: Martian 👿

Hmm he is knowingly putting himself, his daughter, the cia AND his girlfriend at risk because he can't let his relationship go? (Show is ongoing so we'll see if this changes)

Let me know what you think!

Share any suggestions of what movie I should watch next.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Seeing all your cool home updates && half-watching some HGTV w/my mom while drawing had a simple prompt idea if you might be interested! Basically HGTV reno show Jonsa - Sansa is a designer and finally gets a chance for her own show but loses Rob (her #1 contractor) to an injury before filming starts && Jon jumps in (either to help Rob /or/ the studio execs (maybe Targs?) throw him in) and the two have to work together somehow. Idk idk, just wanted to share! <3

ANON.

No, you have no idea, I already HAVE a house reno wip. It's not super long, but... yeah. I've got that.

Here, I'll post what I have written of it, since we CAN'T GET ONTO AO3.

this isn't exactly your prompt, though I do honestly love yours a lot and sort of want to change mine. If I changed mine, the show Sansa works on would definitely be like Rehab Addict, where she restores old homes to their prior state instead of making them "modern"

But mine is sort of similar? This snippet is just the set up and doesn't include the part where Sansa decides to start a youtube channel for her renovations, (a la WabiSabE, which I used to watch and was probably the inspiration for this fic when I first started writing it like a year ago lol), and everyone starts shipping her with her contractor Jon, who she keeps forcing to be in the videos because she can't really make them without him being in it...

.

Sansa winces as her car hits another bump and jolts her in her seat.

“You owe me,” she huffs out, hands tight around the wheel.

“I know, I know,” Robb's voice comes through her sound system and fills the car. He's distracted, she can tell, and she bites back a snippy comment. Robb's just so busy, he couldn't possibly get away.

That's not fair, the small part of her brain that's still being rational thinks. Of course Robb couldn't drop everything and come out to the middle of nowhere to deal with their Great Uncle Brynden's estate. Robb's got a new baby and his job.

Robb's got a baby, Arya's got her tournaments, Bran has school, and Rickon's still underage. All of her siblings have lives they can't get away from. All except her.

No significant other, no kids. A tenuous career that she can technically do from anywhere.

“Oh no,” she breathes, when the house finally comes into sight through the trees.

“What's wrong?” Robb asks, his full attention back on her.

“Robb,” she whines, the car coming to a pathetic, rolling stop on the overgrown gravel drive. “It's a mess.”

“A mess?”

She doesn't answer, too busy staring at the mansion in front of her. Or, what used to be a mansion, she thinks.

It's still vaguely house-shaped, but... The roof is missing shingles in multiple places, the windows all seem busted out. The steps up to the covered front porch are fine, but the porch itself has a massive sinkhole, and half the wood looks rotted and ready to crumble.

Gods, if this is what the outside looks like...

“What kind of a mess?” Robb asks. She's just about to start listing the many problems when she hears another car approaching.

“I've gotta go,” she tells Robb. “I think the lawyer's here.” She hangs up before Robb can answer, and watches the other car slowly emerge through the trees up the bumpy road, past the broken gates, and onto the circular gravel drive. It stops behind her and a man gets out. She gets out, too, phone clutched in her hand, just in case.

“Miss Stark?” the man asks, and his face splits into a kind smile when she nods. “Perfect, perfect. I'm Samwell Tarly. It's nice to finally meet you.”

Sansa moves forward to shake the lawyer's hand. He isn't what she was expecting. He's young, for one – maybe only a few years older than her. And he seems just as nice in person as he'd been over the phone. She didn't think lawyers came in nice.

“We should have met at your office,” she says, eyeing up the weeds sprouting from between the gravel and brushing against her ankles. “I didn't realize the road here would be so...”

Mr. Tarly laughs. “This place has been abandoned for quite some time,” he agrees. “I never met Brynden myself, but I’d heard about him. Apparently he decided to up and travel the world and left this…”

Sansa looks back at the crumbling mansion and feels her face scrunch up. She tries to smooth it out. “So, how fast do you think I can sell this?” she asks.

That’s when Mr. Tarly’s smile falters. “Well,” he starts, hesitant, “you see, it’s in such a poor state, I can’t imagine anyone would be willing to buy it.”

“But the land must be worth something? They can just knock it down and-”

“Ah,” Mr. Tarly winces, and Sansa’s sentence breaks off, unfinished. “I suppose you didn’t read all the fine print?” At the slow shake of her head, he grimaces. “Riverrun Manor is a historic property. You, legally, are not allowed to tear the structure down. Anything you do needs to go through lots of committee approvals…”

“So what you’re saying,” Sansa says, closing her eyes as reality crashes down around her, “is that literally no one is going to want to buy this.”

“Maybe if you find someone who’s both very rich, and very interested in Riverlands history?”

She opens her eyes and there must be a glare on her face, because Mr. Tarly winces again.

Then she turns back to the manor, and really looks at it this time. Beneath the grime and the moss and the crumbling wood, she can see what it used to be.

“What if I fixed it up a bit?” she asks, turning back to the lawyer. “What if I just did the major repairs, do you think someone would buy it then?”

She doesn’t want to do that, but it beats letting the property sit around even longer and paying the taxes on it. Or, worse, not paying the taxes and having that on her and her sibling’s financial records.

“I’m not a real estate agent,” Mr. Tarly responds, looking at the building thoughtfully. “But this is a good location, lots of historic stuff around. I wouldn’t doubt you could sell it if the building weren’t… well, that.” He waves his hand towards the manor.

“Alright,” she nods. “Maybe we should head to your office to do the paperwork, though? Then I’ll… I guess I’ll look for a contractor?”

Sam nods, and a bright smile lights his face again. “Oh, I know someone you can call!”

[otakween]

One Pound Gospel - Volume 1

Yay, new series! (This one was next on MAL after 0 Man). Happy to be reading something by another icon (Rumiko Takahashi). I've never heard anyone talk about this one at all, so I don't know what general opinions are nor do I know anything about the plot. Let's go!

Ch. 1

So we got a boxer in love with a nun...I saw a commenter comparing this premise to Nacho Libre and now I can't unsee it.

(I might need to include a rewatch of that movie, for the meme).

Anyways, our leads are Kosaku and Sister Angela. Kosaku seems like a head empty jock who thinks with his heart and stomach. Sister Angela seems like she can whip him into shape (emotionally lol).

Despite having watched most of Ranma 1/2, I don't think I've ever read a Rumiko Takahashi manga? Craziness! This isn't her first work but it's one of the earlier ones from the 1980s, so I'm expecting some newbie scuff (or maybe she was just a legend from the start?)

Christianity in anime/manga isn't that uncommon, but to have it be one of the main focuses is intriguing. I wonder if we'll find out how Kosaku and Angela came to the religion as Japanese people?

I don't care about boxing at all IRL, but I don't mind reading about it and learning the lingo. Maybe I'll gain an appreciation I didn't have before lol.

Didn't like Kosaku forcing a kiss on Angela (her being a nun makes it extra scuzzy). Oh the 80s...

Ch. 2

See? I'm already learning stuff. Apparently boxers aren't supposed to drink water during a fight (just rinse) and they're not supposed to have sex prior to the fight (I already knew about that one, but this reminded me). That second one's more of a superstition though.

I wasn't sure if Sister Angela wearing her habit all the time was realistic, but I googled it and apparently in some cases that is enforced. Also, I've seen nuns in public wearing habits, so I guess it's legit.

Sister Angela getting plastered was kind of funny but her breaking her wine bottle was a bit extreme. She's kinda unhinged in general, she shows up at Kosaku's match and tells him she'll never forgive him if he loses? (Seems toxic but okay)

The strategies Kosaku's coach has him using to make weight are kinda fucked up (borderline disordered). Starving himself, laxatives and sweating the weight off. I'm sure that happens plenty IRL though. Pretty sad that athletes feel the need to put their bodies through that.

Ch. 3

People in Japan...they can't actually down like 5 bowls of ramen right, that's just an anime thing? I eat one bowl and I need to lie down lol.

I look forward to seeing the food in the adaptations of the manga. Particularly in the live action.

The crucifix falling over when Angela prays for Kosaku was a funny gag.

At this point in the story the focus is definitely more on Kosaku's boxing career than on romance. I wonder if it will kind of go back and forth between the two or if the romance will always just be on the sidelines?

Ch. 4

I can't tell if Kosaku has a food addiction or if they're literally starving him. They never show him eating healthy/low calorie food that's approved by his coach so it kind of feels like he's just not allowed to eat at all. Anyone would obsessively seek out food if that's the case! He did mention "diet" earlier, so I'll hope it's not...

If I was let loose in Tokyo I'd struggle with food temptation too lol. So much street food... (Wait, is this set in Tokyo?)

Ch. 5

Kosaku stumbles into a win after throwing up in the ring again. Apparently you're allowed to win by yeeting your opponent outside the ring? Seems wrong, but what do I know

All this starvation-binge stuff is making me a little nauseous. There's gotta be a better way!

Ch. 6

You know how straight dudes in the 1980s dressed in a way that seems gay-coded by today's standards? That's kinda what Kosaku's giving. He's really cute. (Not much of a personality tho)

Takahashi sure likes her repetitive gags doesn't she? A lot of "comedy" anime do this and it's frankly kind of frustrating. I'm not gonna laugh when you do the same joke for the millionth time...

They seriously just should have put him in a heavier weight class sooner, but it feels like I'm missing something here. Why does it matter which weight class you're in and why are some more sought after than others? -shrug-

I also don't get the "4 rounds" vs. "6 rounds" thing. Is it like baseball vs. softball or something? At least Sister Angela is just as clueless as me!

Ch. 7

Okay so apparently you pick your weight class based on your bone structure, I get it I don't really get it

Ch. 8

Okay, I immediately hate Onimaru for begging his pregnant wife to have a son and not a daughter 😒 I hope Kosaku kicks his ass

It almost seems like a conflict of interest to have your friend do your confession, no?

This series is reminding me of Spy x Family. Like you know how in that show Yor's plotline is mostly sidelined compared to Loid's? That's kinda how the Kosaku/Angela balance feels here.

Ch. 9

I really don't know anything about boxing, so I don't know what makes a good or bad fight, but this one seemed really pathetic lol. I'm glad at least Onimaru wasn't a sore loser, he probably needed to be humbled anyways.

The manga seems to be implying that Kosaku is fat which...huh? He doesn't look fat at all? Sure, he eats like a fat person but...I think 1980s "fat" meant something different lol.

IDK why Angela is so set on Kosaku being in the lower weight class. I guess it's good to be disciplined, so she sees that as the morally right thing to do?

So so far this seems like a very low stakes manga. It's leaning more towards the sports genre than the romcom, which isn't really what I expected. Well, after 0-Man I could definitely use an easy-breezy read like this. Onto the next volume!

[darkisrising]

⭐

(But also I'm greedy and if you want to do Never Leaving Well Enough Alone, I have a special soft spot for that one since it's one of the first ones of yours I ever read.)

(link to game if anyone wants to play)

Sure thing, friend! Never Leaving Well Enough Alone was one of my first attempts at writing in the Mandalorian world. My friend @treescape was writing dinluke and was talking about how active the ship was (back in those early days, circa 2021). Since I was writing quiobi where we were small but very engaged, I was intrigued by this phenomenon of hordes of ppl reading a single fic at once, but made the off hand comment that I doubted I was good for writing any other ship, since I'd only just returned to writing fanfic and still was in my painfully insecure era. But then she said something along the line of (back then) there being very little explicit content for the ship (oooooooh how the tables have turned on THAT lmaoo) and I had this moment of "well... I can write sex at the very least?" so my first few dinluke I went into them with the very clear objective to sex them up more than the landscape at the time was doing, since I *think* if I recall that the emphasis on the ship back then was more on Luke as a potential second dad for Grogu... very romancing the single dad vibes... and mando was essentially one big walking chastity belt.

NLWEA was basically me throwing a chunk of sex into the ship, and then I was gonna run away and hide. At least, that was my plan. So it's a 5+1 time structure, with the idea that they kept running into each other, and then at some point they would have sex. That's... pretty much it. I knew Luke because I went through a hard core OT phases back when the OT was re-released, and I like my Luke as the mouthy Tattooine "what a hunk of junk" farmboy so that's what I wanted to play with in this one. Han's ride or die. Leia's headache of a trouble-magnet brother. I don't think I'd even managed to watch all the episodes of Mando season 1 when I wrote this, let alone 2, but I liked the eternally exhausted freelancer in a gig economy bounty hunter we first meet in the show and figured meh. Why not give it a whirl? The sheer shock of waking up from throwing a post up on ao3 and getting the kudos email the next day. I mean. I can't overstress how MANY readers there were back then. Just. Mindbreaking amounts. I went from quiobi where a hundred kudos was like "oh man, yes, yay, I'm so proud of myself" to just. *hundreds* upon hundreds at once. It was... well. Yeah. Addictive to chase that validation. That's probably not what you're supposed to say when it comes to writing fic, that you got swept up in the attention, but it is what it is. I did. And it was very *very* fun to be participating in a fandom like that, when there's interest and energy, and so so so SO many talented people working at once at a frantic pace. It was such a rush.

I wrote without a really clear idea of where the story was going, except for the structure. As I wrote I was also watching the last few episodes of Mando season 2, and when I watched the episodes with cgi Luke I was like oh huh this isn't really the Luke I remember at all. Part of the lack of affectation was the cgi, but I liked the idea of trying to thread the needle between young Luke and Jedi "stoically driven by the force" Luke, so that's where chapter 4 changes mood from hijinks Luke to reserved Luke. And then, that let me have some fun with the idea that Luke was so consumed/inebriated with the force he absolutely didnt recognize Din from his younger days. Which made the reveal that Din knew extra fun to play with in the next chapter. Chapter 5 also happens to be the first time I wrote Boba Fett, and may *that* be noted by the historians, because I fell in deep, deep love with that man from that moment on. Which eventually led us to the BobaDinLuke stuff that took over my life for the last few years 😆

[hidelias]

A bend in space-time Season 2 - [Chapter 6: Snippets of Destiny]

[Chapter 6: Snippets of Destiny] Links : AO3 - Wattpad - FFN This chapter tells the journey of Klaus, Rin and the Destiny's Children to Iceland (showing the infamous "yurt" in Reykjavik), in late 1961.

December 31th 1961, Reykjavik, Iceland

There's only a trickle of light, filtering through the slits in the wooden doors of what seems to be a coat closet. I lean in, I squint, I force my gaze across the room I'm spying on. I can see a dozen of men, all in their finest clothes. I frown, I turn my head to the left, only to see Five step back. Suddenly, a metallic object pierces through one of the slits, shattering part of the wood. It's a firebrand, that hits the cupboard door, again and again. Crack! Five teleports away, but I stay, immaterial, invisible, the raging firebrand passing through me. under the strikes of a man who knew he was being spied on. A clean-cut goatee, a monocle…

I jolt awake once again, panting slightly.

"Damn it."

I sigh, realizing that I've dozed off while writing in my travel journal, on the small coffee table. I sit up again, I run a hand over my eyes, then I contemplate for a moment the tranquility of the yurt I'm sitting in, in the gentle warmth it maintains above the sheepskins and sturdy wooden furniture. The smell is that of a feast being prepared beyond the thick wool. Judging by the sounds outside, we're still in the early evening.

Why a yurt, especially here, just outside Reykjavik? It was originally a quip from Klaus, which Kitty - once again - took seriously. Back in Mexico, I think. She used her connections, had it shipped from Mongolia to this much-awaited stopover, and had it set up here - under the Icelandic northern lights - with all imaginable comforts. Including a small safe where to store the 'donations' of new comers, most of whom are now joining the 'Destiny's Children' from Europe. Contributions paid in cash, clearly outside any US taxes or regulations.

Whatever you may think of the way Klaus earns his living today, I can honestly say that it's a huge relief compared to the life he used to have. When - even before food and shelter - he was trying to fund his dope addiction. You'll probably hear him talk a hundred times about his many relationships and one-night stands, often in a lighthearted joking tone. All you need to know is that they were extremely rarely 'free of charge', although sometimes enjoyed. At the very least, they were a counterpart for a couch to surf on or a nice watch to pawn; but if possible, for some bucks to cheat at bonto thanks to Ben. Union support, occupational health and - very often - private transportation to get him out of a bad situation at 2 am… well, that was me. Really, take my word for it: I much prefer this absurd era of exalted hippies.

(…)

↝↝↝↝ Read 'A bend in space-time' ↜↜↜↜ Full chapter : AO3 - Wattpad - FFN Season 1 completed : AO3 - Wattpad - FFN Season 2 in progress : AO3 - Wattpad - FFN

I chose to insert an OC - Rin - into the plot of The Umbrella Academy season 2, appearing almost only in deleted scenes. I try to give her an interesting story on her own. What to expect: digging into the psychology of the canon characters, seeing their daily lives through the eyes of an outsider, deciphering what's only skimmed over in the original series. A bit of fun, too, uh?

Any comment will make my day! ♡

[feuqueerfire]

Stay With Me Live Blogging

Watched the second half of Addicted last month, saw some tiktoks of Stay With Me that looked good, saw people losing their minds over it on r/boyslove, so I'm watching this.

It's like a 12 hour long show, so probably a bad idea to start it now instead of after internship and semester is over but I'm gonna be watching Boys Planet then, so the time is now.

Ep 1 (Aug 11)

The transitions when Wu Bi came are so funny, Indian serial tease

omg is Wu Bi's mom making the doll for the stepmother's son Su Yu? They used to be friends? girl... anyway Su yu mole on ear?

so the mother didn't give the doll to Su Yu?

loll so instead of Su Yu agreeing to move to Wu Bi's school, Wu Bi's pre-emptively moving on a different school where he'll end up near Su Yu

Mao Chong and Han Bokuang - I remember there was maybe a second couple or smth in the background of Addicted that also had enemies to lovers, is this them?

pls the Wu Bi theme song every time

not this random singing?!?! girl what T.T and Wu Bi staring at him so intensely from the back loll

pls I can't. mentioning the sculpture and then facial nerve paralysis ?!?!?!

Ep 2 (Aug 11)

bro Wu bi changing some of Su Yu's answers? die.

plss how'd Su Yu get perfect score, he answered things wrongly and Wu Bi accidentally chose the correct ones? - oh i see the teacher caught it

Bro, Su Yu should just beat the shit out of Wu Bi at least once before they get lovey dovey cuz how dare he step on his new shoes after he heard they're new

plss the transitions as Su Yu's being a little chemist genius

Su Yu's dad working a second job to earn money and obviously, it's somehow for Wu Bi

ofc Wu Bi's soft when it comes to a father who's working hard for his son - but so rude to the son smh

Duoduo so cute and smart and endearing >.<

Ep 3 (Aug 11)

It's 1:30AM so I should be going to sleep but oh well. also my head/eyes ache

Bokuang mentioned jelly like 4:30mins in and the Viki comment had lyrics to Boys Planet Jelly Pop

lol Wu Bi being like no.. the coincidences can't be... he can't be tahe mover's son... but he doesn't even now about the incredible coincidences of them being stepbrothers !!

Wu Bi doesn't pity Su Yu too much, treating him like some charity case

the editing is so funny what is this figtttt pls T.T

only I can bully you Su Yu, nobody else >:((

Wu Bi wants happy family

Ep 4 (Aug 12)

bro Duoduo is actually a menace, she's so cute and funny

ah, some heart-to-heart between Wu Bi and Su Yu as he learns about Wu Bi's mother and her death and her sculpting

Ep 5 (Aug 12)

Su Yu buying Wu Bi breakfast hehe

not this BL jealousy moment of Wu Bi seeing people touch or confess to Su Yu

Damn, I thought Su Yu was gonna accept Wu Bi's request on QQ or something but instead he's view Wanying's and she even messaged him, ah - I remember some drama with a girl in the tiktoks and in the original Addicted one of their previous girlfriend also came into the picture

so many things going on at this dinner: Wanying calling Su Yu and him hanging up - Wu Bi watching all that, Duoduo sneakily drinking a shot, Wu Bi giving food to Su Yu

lol Wu Bi's poor man cosplay gets one step more real

ah, the face each other bike riding - I've seen this on tiktoks too, it's so romantic looking

Ep 6 (Aug 12)

Su Yu is so cute in glasses

plsss Wu Bi shit-talking about Su Yu's stepdad's son - whole time it's him. surprise you're step-brothers <3

plsss he fr cursed himself?! Wu Bi my guy D:

okay, so, is this show dubbed? Sometimes it doesn't seem like it but sometimes... the mouth movements vs sounds ?

plssss Su Yu probing into Wu Bi's family secrets and both Wu Bi and Su Yu's father fumbling through it

plsss this fake dad T.T

"even if you doubted Wu Bi, you couldn't have doubted your own dad, right?" ...girl this is gonna blow up fr

Ep 7 (Aug 12)

omg so this is how they find about the dad and mom marriage? In Addicted, it was the mother coming to Su Yu's house that made them find out

Are we gonna get singing again? oh, just the editing at the club lol

damn, throwing punches D:

Ep 8 (Aug 12)

nvm we're really back to singing

wait true, Wu Bi can take on thugs but let Su Yu hit him

bruh who is taking a photo of Su Yu and his mom and her handing him money? i thought Wu Bi's friends were gonna give Su Yu a talking to for making Wu Bi cry but would they do this instead?

oh i see, the scholarship thing

They never translate the on-screen text agh

oh nvm they're translating some others

Bro Wu Bi why would you fake admit that you spread the photos

Duoduo sooo cute

brooo it really was Wubi's friends?

I kinda liked it last time when the dad was like "okay? and did Wubi keep the parental marriage situation from you? no? then why are you mad at him?" But he might be more involved with Wu Bi this time than in original Addicted, so there's more hurt associated with learning this?

Ep 9 (Aug 12)

yesss supportive dad who loves Wu Bi!

This is fun, at first it was Wu Bi trying to get Su Yu's attention and now vice versa

"Faster my foot, slow down. Do you want to tire him out?"

ah, I was wondering what the timeline was, i's in New Year's 2006

The way Wu Bi climbed over Su Yu's sleeping body... ah.

bro why are we getting women being assaulted in this randomly

why would you give me voiceover of Wu Bi going "I am your ge. you are my di." stop this

Ep 10 (Aug 12)

ah, Su Yu's silly worries of becoming an outsider in his family and them not looking out for him anymore - squashed by them worrying + calling Wu Bi's phone since Su Yu left with him last night. good. silly kid, your dad got married, didn't abandon you

pls is Wu Bi's birthday actually a few days later than Su Yu's lol Wu Bi wants to be ge so bad

Actually I did remember the rich kid in Addicted being younger by a day or two but I thought they just switched it here lol

The way this ge/di battle would be doing Everything for me if they weren't step-brothers... now it's still doing it for me but tentatively

Ep 11 (Aug 12)

lol the cousin-brother's girlfriend is Wanying? rip she's the girl who was haunting the relationship in Addicted, right? Also, the cousin mentioned that they have a mutually beneficial relationship, so is he really gay?

I don't get what Wu Bi's doing on his phone

oh i see, he realized that Wanying is his cousin's gf

Wu Bi's tantrum is so annoying - why doesn't he just tell Su Yu that she has a bf? Then he doesn't have to say anything about liking Su Yu (idk if he even knows that he likes him romantically) but can just be like she's a liar and a cheat bruh

Did the cousin understand that they've got a thing going on? Cuz in Addicted, the cousin understood I think.

Also, Wu Bi stopped the cousin from talking about the gf Wanying, why?

bro why do Wu Bi's friends and now his bodyguard keep screwing over Su Yu...

Ep 12 (Aug 12)

rich spoiled pathetic wittle babies are so :/ do it right, Wu Bi

"Su Yu is mine" is crazy. to say to Wanying especially

bro what right does Wu Bi have to be mad? I think if they weren't step-siblings, it'd be different but... I'm like do you even know you're in love with each other?

bro Wanying is terrible D: liar liar

Wu Bi telling Su Yu about Wanying dating his cousin would have seriously been able to avoid this

bro she's such a mastermind, she's meeting Wu Bi and is gonna make it seem like he's harassing her or something right?

"Not winning an Oscar for best actress would be a waste of your acting skills" plsss

finally Wu Bi mentions Wanying dating his cousin but now too much has happened

Duoduo is genuinely so funny

Ep 13 (Aug 12)

bro show me what the wishes are! what did Wu Bi write!

also now we've seen Duoduo and Su Yu both exchange their wishes wish new ones - will Wu Bi do the same?

damn, are we gonna get the last of this Wanying conflict? pls let it end

damn, we're finding out about the sculpture connection right now?

man, I do have to love just how interconnected the families are in this. Even though Wu Bi's dad and Su Yu's mom aren't present, Su Yu's little family is so good

okayy Su Yu going to meet Wu Bi

"From today until the day you get married, I'll be with you every holiday" saw it on tiktok, it hits harder with the full context

Wu Bi dying to kill Mao Chong fr

Mao Chong and Bokuang fake dating pls

omggg he literally has Bokuang in drag!

Ep 14 (Aug 13)

damn, so much drama between Su Yu's mother and Wu Bi's dad

damn, more conflict between the families

I wonder what the end result of this show will be? Will they have some mending between the kids and their parents?

Ep 15 (Aug 13)

is she reading yaoi in class? T.T pls now fantasizing about Su Yu and Wu Bi. This is one way to edge across the censors

plsss Wu Bi taking the yaoi novel for Su Yu T.T

nooo did Duoduo take the yaoi? hope it's child friendly....

Ep 16 (Aug 13)

Would her taking so many photos of the two of them have any consequences?

why do they keep singing?!?!

girl, not this dancing, I'm clutching my head

Ep 17 (Aug 13)

"They don't spend enough time looking at... your face."

So they're trying to solve the death of Wu Bi's mom, okay

I hope Wu Bi doesn't somehow misunderstand Su Yu's secrecy around the mystery though

Ep 18 (Aug 13)

plsss this dance T.T

This MR. Mo character is so annoying

are we just fully believing this man?

Ep 19 (Aug 13)

okay they've made up

birthday dinner at Wu Bi's house with the parents, woah and Su Yu's there too

ah car birthday presents... the accident's gonna happen in a few episodes i guess

plss what is up with Bokuang's dad fr, are we supposed to extrapolate that he's gay?

not the flashback to happy child birthday boy Wu Bi

Ep 20 (Aug 13)

pls arguing about whose father gave a shittier gift

and then getting school by Duoduo

plssss Su Yu's dad "I already have an ex-wife who went with him" when Wu Bi's dad liked Duoduo's mom's noodles

damn, evidence in the Su Yu statue - is there more?

Ep 21 (Aug 13)

Wu Bi is so cute with his hair down like this, so innocent looking despite being a Grade A Rascal

I hope the relationship with parents don't get ruined, they're cute now, esp Wu Bi and his father

wait, this is what people were talking about, right? we're calling it lip balm to cover up but really it's actually lube?

he put the lube lip balm on his father?! and then barely containing his laughter

Duoduo's little crush on Mao Chong is so cute

anyway, I'm dreading Mao Chong and Su Yu sleeping in the same bed and Wu Bi coming home to surprise them and seeing that

omg not them gossiping about how Su Yu finds Wu Bi handsome and treats him differently lol

plsss not the girls just discussing gay ships of Mao Chong right behind him?

plsss not Wu Bi seeing Mao Chong's headphones on the bedstand and tackling Su Yu

pls Su Yu's status "I'm hungry." -> Wu Bi literally running out to make food for him -> cousin man being like "He's gone mad. If this continues, he'll squander all the family wealth."

Ep 22 (Aug 14)

"Give our relationship, I can think of something better than money." okay

Ep 23 (Aug 14)

Immediately picking up on Wu Bi calling Su Yi ge finally

not lubricant jokes pls

god the endless innuendos, "if you get 30 points more, I'll reward you with something hehehe"

"If he wants your dad's group, will you give it to him?" "I will." is a wild thing to say and then "Impossible" about being separated like bruhh don't provoke our cousin, don't you know your mother was murdered? Shouldn't you be a bit more careful about how people view Su Yu and whether he needs to be eliminated

bruh what is the love confession letter that the fujoshi gave them so cringe i die

girl not Wu Bi continuously getting hurt over nothing between Su Yu and Mao Chong

man, cousin guy don't be so preoccupied with the Su Yu/Wanying thing fr

Ep 24 (Aug 14)

I know it's not a happy ending, I don't wanna watch this fr

the cousin giving Su Yu the haircut reminds me of The Devil Judge except she was way cooler and deadlier

damn, causing separating the two of them early in the morning tomorrow

cousin literally boutta send a kill on Wu Bi as well while only trying to do Su Yu

plssss the way Wu Bi's talking to Su Yu once they realize there's a brake failure is soo brain melting "It's okay, I'm here. Just close your eyes and rest for a while"

I've seen people talk about how Wu Bi had angled the car so that he was hit with the impact ahhhh

so much of this last 15 minutes is just flashbacks bro wtf

bruh that's it? the end? well, someone on discord did say it's non-fatal car crash so yknow

Overall Thoughts:

Well, this is really as close as BL you can get without saying out loud that they are dating but there are innuendos galore and it's pretty clear (there was lube on their bed, like...). So it didn't really feel unfulfilling as if something was missing because like... they were together pretty much lol.

The family aspect was the best, I love that we got to see Su Yu's situation so much and his blended family and the way they were always there together. You can understand why Wu Bi prefers the warmth of their home over the coldness of his, though we got to see progress on that end too. Duoduo sooo cute, little munchkin.

The ending is... an ending, that's for sure. Hope we get a season 2 next year but who knows.

Rating: 6.5/10

[depressoexpresso-anon]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴀᴛᴏꜱᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

ᴀ ꜱᴛʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀ ᴀʟᴘʜᴏɴꜱᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ

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⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

DRUGS, ALCOHOL, ADDICTION, ABUSE, SEXUAL IMPLICATIONS, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, LANGUAGE, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, AND POSSIBILITY NSFW STUFF.

⚠️ VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED WARNING ⚠️

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 (You're here!)

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments or give me a DM!

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It was a Monday. It was one of those Mondays that feels like a whole year has passed in one day. Most people hate them but, these are the days that people remember the most.

Y/N took the day off today. They only took it off to see him. The man they met that night. Y/N was just hoping he was working today. If he wasn't then this was all for nothing.

You wore baggy clothes again, mostly because your nice clothes are still dirty. You were also hoping that other people weren't eyeing you while you walked into a club, in the middle of a sunny afternoon, out of all times.

You also wouldn't have any problems with the bouncers. Mostly because it wasn't a weekend night. It was a Monday afternoon. So it wasn't as busy.

You push open the one of the large glittery doors to the entrance. You felt your heart in your throat as you entered. You look around to find that it mostly was barren besides a few perverts or some guys who are trying to drown in alcohol at the bar.

Y/n walks up to the bar and takes a seat. While they wait for the bartender to come and take their order, Y/N noticed something about them. It was the same bartender that served you that night. You watched as she fixed a fruity concoction for someone else before coming to you.

As she looked up to take your order she quickly knew who you were. "Hey, long time no see, stranger!" She said with a big smile on her face, which in return made you more nervous.

"You remember m-me?"

"Oh, yeah. Who can forget the person who shouted charming words at one of the most popular workers in here? After all my years working here I never once saw a person pull what you did hun."

Her voice seemed excited almost like she was talking to a long-lost friend.

"By the way, names Kate. But, the people here call me 'Toxin' cause I'm the best bartender around!"

Y/N listened attentively as Kate went on and told you stories about her job and some blackmail that she picked up on some of the workers there. Y/N listened and watched in amazement.

They always wanted to be the type of person that Kate was. Outgoing and quick to a joke. Charming and not crude. The type of person that makes you feel warm and understood. That was probably why she was such a good bartender. Kate chatted for a bit before she started to work on other drinks for customers.

Even if Alphonse wasn't there today, at least you made a new friend.

As you waited for her to get done with her orders, you felt a hand touch your waist and gave a small squeeze.

You whipped your head around to quickly confront the person who decided to cop a feel. To your surprise, it wasn't a needy pervert but, your stranger. The man from a few nights ago. It was him, in the flesh.

"Hey, there sweetie! I thought I scared you off with that little show last time." He looked you up and down to see what you were wearing. It wasn't anything revealing or slutty, it was plain and boring.

It surprised him.

It made him think 'who are you?' And 'why are you back?' It doesn't matter now. You are here and he was dying to get a piece of you.

As you look up at him with certain awe, you noticed some new accessories to his face.

He's had makeup on and it was on point, with little rhinestone gems decorated across his cheeks and eyes. He also had a shiny septum piercing along with one on his eyebrow.

He looked down on you, taking in your features. You felt the red get to your face as he looked closer at you. You didn't expect someone to look so close.

Embarrassed flooded you as he continues to look. You knew he could see all of your small imperfections on your face, but he didn't care.

"Were you missing little ol' me, sweetie?" He said with a teasing smile.

"Yes, I did come to see you. And to be quite frank, I have been thinking about you lately." You said conveniently as you could be.

Yes, Y/N felt all types of emotions whenever Alphonse was in proximity to them. Feelings of want and desire but, also a longing to know who he is and what he was thinking.

"Awe, you really are a sweetheart! But, heh, how 'bout I get you out of this joint and someplace a little private, yeah?" Said Al with mischief dancing on his tongue. As your face became redder by the recent events, Y/N couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes staring at the both of you.

It was Kate, staring with a smile as large as the Cheshire cat's plastered on her face.

Alphonse caught on and looked back at the smiling bartender.

"Can you do us a favor, Kate, and fuck off! Thank you, buh-bye!"

Y/N stared in shock, they could never imagine that their stranger could go from charming and seductive, to sudden frustration.

Kate kept looking with her knowing grin on her face. "No-ho-ho this is priceless! Alphonse the main hunk in this joint, the one everyone drools for, falls for a stranger you just met a few nights ago! Ha!" Kate tries to hold back her sudden laughter as she looks at the boy in front of her.

"Nah, Tox. I'm just looking for something sweet. After all, this doll right here sure does look appetizing."

This comment causes kate to roll her eyes while she wipes down a glass. "Yeah, sure." Was her only comment that she made about the current squabble.

Alphonse grabs your hand and gently pulls you away from your seat and away from the bar. "Come on let's go." He says as he leads you to somewhere he considers private.

You look back at the bar to find Kate still staring and waving goodbye. You try to wave back but, the long struts of Al's legs prevented you from doing so.

Y/N gazed at their stranger and pondered why he was going in such a hurry. On your way, you caught the attention some people and a few bunny servers. As you walked by some bunnies gave you a thumbs up or even said good luck. Now all Y/N was thinking is 'How the fuck did I get into this situation?'

As you were left questioning, Al lead you backstage. The backstage was a little cluttered with wires and cables connecting to various devices. There were small racks of clothes and shoes, probably for a quick change before stage time.

The one thing that caught you off guard was the huge wrap around staircase that was smacked center of the room.

As Al quickly lead you up the stairs, his grip on your hand got a little firmer the closer you got to the top.

At the top of the staircase was the area where all the performers would get ready.

The area was long and wide, almost like a hallway but not quite. On the right, there were doors that you guessed is where they would get dressed and prepared. And on left was a balcony that looked over the whole club.

You always wondered why there was a balcony in a club and now you knew.

The flooring of the upstairs was a gross carpet that smelled of mildew and mold. Almost all of the walls were covered by posters, art, or even cruel graffiti. There were old ripped clothes that were scattered all over the floor, along with some trash. There was even broken glass from one of the many beer bottles and the broken light bulbs that had been overused and exploded.

As you were being led you looked and felt sympathy for the workers here. Before you could open your mouth and ask why is it like this up here, Al beat you to it.

"To answer your question, bossman cares more about profit instead of workers."

"How do you know I was going to ask that?"

"Sweets, look at this place. Who wouldn't want to ask that question, huh?" Al said with some resentment in his voice.

From what he said, you can tell that Al didn't like his boss very much but, you can't blame him.

Alphonse suddenly stopped walking and stood in front of a door that was poorly painted pink. The door also had his name painted elegantly in cursive with gold paint.

With the sudden stop, it caused you to bump into Al's back, and in return, he turned around and look to see if you were alright.

"Oh, s-sorry I bumped into you heh-heh."

"No, it's fine. I like it when you're on me."

As you were speckless yet again, Alphonse relished how he could turn you red just by a flick of his tongue. And while your head was screaming, Al pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked his door.

When he opened the door, Al grabbed your hand and lead you into the cold dark room.

Once the both of you were inside, Al closed the door and locked it back up tight.

The room was pitch black but, compared to all the dark rooms you've been in, this was the darkest. The main reason why you came up with this conclusion, is that there were no windows in his room.

Now Y/N was starting to panic. As they waited for a light source, their mind started to waver to the worse.

'Stupid! Why would anyone just follow a complete stranger into a room you don't know! Hopefully, the police will find my mutilated body in one piece.'

These are the thoughts of someone who watches dateline on the regular.

You hear a flick of a switch behind your head as you are suddenly blinded by the lights in the room. It didn't take long for your eyes to adjust because the light was about as bright as a floor lamp. With the dim, warm, yellow light on, you finally got to look around the mysterious private room.

The walls were decorated head to toe with posters as a way to cover up the ugly wallpaper hidden behind it. Some of them were bands you didn't know, some were anime posters, and of course the classic pin-up poster.

He had a large vanity in his room that had all sorts of makeup and jewelry setting on top of it. He even has his own personal bathroom and closet as well.

'Man, he must be pretty popular to have his own room.' Y/N thought as they looked around.

But, there was one thing that Y/N couldn't Ignore because it was so prominent. That thing was the large ass bed in the middle of the room.

The bed had to be king-size you thought to yourself. And of course, it was one of those beds that you'll see in cheesy 80's rom-coms, a heart bed.

As you looked on, you felt a large hand being placed gently on your shoulder.

"Ya like it in here? This is my personal room for-um..."

He paused thinking of a good replacement word for what he was gonna say.

"Special Occasions with some of the boss's clients. This room is all mine and I don't have to share with anyone else."

Alphonse said all while boasting his chest out a bit behind you. He spins you around to face him and he gently cups your cheek while moving his other hand to cup your waist.

"So we don't have to worry about anyone disturbing us."

Before you even had a say, you were pushed onto the plush bed. You feel another weight climb onto the bed with you as Alphonse made his way to climb on top of you.

Al cups your cheek

"Don't worry baby, I'll take real good care of you."

And before he could even make a move the palm of your gently covered the front of his face as a way to stop him from advancing.

"Hold on sir. First off, I don't like sleeping with people I don't know. Second, why do you want to sleep with me? Do you even know my name?"

Y/N was right Alphonse didn't know them and they didn't know Alphonse. So what was even the point of coming here?

Al slowly removed your hand from his face holding it with both hands as he stared into your eyes. Then out of nowhere sharted to chuckle.

'Yep, I'm gonna die.'

That's what Y/N thought as the man above them burst into a fit of giggles.

"Man you really are cute. Sorry about uh- jumping to accusations. Ya see, most people who come to see me a second time only want to fuck around and leave. But you. Your different."

Alphonse was quick to get off of you and he flopped down on the bed beside you, causing you to bounce as well.

"So precious thing, help me put a name with that pretty face of yours."

"I'm Y/N, Y/N L/N"

Alphonse propped up on his elbows to get a better look at you. He smiled at you and said

"Well then Y/N L/N, I'm Alphonse."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @gay-jay @hhawkz

Man, this one took a while to get out, huh.

First, I just wanna thank you lovely people who had been patient and are invested in my story.

Second, I've been experiencing burn out with this story and there stuff going on in my personal life as well. So all and all, I have no clue when the next chapter will be out but, I'll make sure it's not too late.

Thank you for reading!

Love you!

❤🧡💛��💙💜🖤

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[lsholland]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 (𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 - "𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠?"

Word count: 3.7k

tw: addictions (alcohol, drugs), swearing, disease, murder...

genre: psychological thriller / suspense / drama

Synopsis: Tom Holland is Hollywood's #1 celebrity and is adored all around the world. But this rise to fame hasn't been easy for him. With fame comes his own demons: addiction issues, a relationship that's about to end and...he doesn't know it yet, but he's about to kill an innocent woman. How is he going to get through it?

You can also read it on Wattpad.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated :)

"Tom! Tom!!! TOM!!!" shouts a woman in a black hoodie among a hysterical crowd of young boys and girls trying to get this man's attention. "PLEASE!!! I love you so much" her voice crackles, she's sobbing in despair.

He stops walking and stands right in front of her, a sharpie pen between his fingers and an unnatural grin on his face. Even though these people claim they love him, he's tired of them. It's something with the drama, the screams, and the perpetual inconsideration that drains his energy. His straight face says it all, if only they weren't obsessed with his looks, he'd be pleased to spend time with them. But he knows he's just an object of their fantasies. He forces a smile, or something close to it, and accepts to take a picture with her. He stands next to her, his arms in his back, his fingers intertwined and shakily holding the pen, glancing at the camera lens, lost in his thoughts. His body is present in the moment, but his mind is thousands of kilometres away in the universe that is his brain.

And she's so happy to finally have that precious picture that her smile shows all her impeccable teeth; she's sweating and rapidly breathing and laughing with the same high-pitched voice as everyone else; she's just a typical fangirl. All her friends gather around her and whisper as if they were hiding a secret from an alien.

And onto the next one. Same hysteria, same cry for help, miserable for his attention. She hands him a picture of him in a Spider-Man suit and asks for an autograph while she's filming the scene with her brand-new iPhone.

It has to do with the way they treat him. The way they pretend he doesn't notice their weird behaviour. The way they simply believe he's not a human being. That he must be good-looking, happy, nice, and funny all the time.

"We've gotta go" says his assistant as he presses his shoulder with his hand. Tom looks at him with relief and closes his eyes for a second. He lets out a sigh as a soft smile appears on his angelic face.

"A'ight, I'm sorry guys" he apologises, but that's not enough. Many of them start crying and push through the thin barrier to get a hold of him; like monsters that haven't been fed, like addicts when you can't provide their usual dose of drugs. They look so disappointed and hopeless; leaving now would reduce all his efforts to dust. Keeping a good image and reputation is the key. He doesn't want to be hated.

Guilt rushes through him like a thrill; he glances at his watch and gulps. He gives them another 5 minutes for pictures, autographs, and hugs. Even if he's late. Even if he's going to miss his interview. Because he owes his success to them; or at least he thinks he does.

And when he goes into the back seat of this huge black SUV with no registration plate, he slams the door shut and . . . Peace. Finally, the moment he's been waiting for. The pressure leaves his body like a bubble burst. He sighs and relaxes his muscles, his head falling back on the seat. His eyes are closed; he doesn't say a word for the whole ride. His time alone is so rare and valued.

And when they arrive in front of that gigantic building to pass this final interview, Tom prepares to show his usual bright smile and pretends he's happy. Nobody notices what's hidden in his gaze. But his eyes are telling the truth. His eyes show how hopeless he is. But nobody dares looking into his soul. They only see the superficial layer, the mask he puts on every day. Because nobody knows who he is. Nobody cares about him.

It's so much simpler to ignore sadness in other people. We just tend to believe only good moments are worth sharing. We just pretend we're happy all the time because that's what everyone else does. And why would he show his sadness anyway? He has it all: a girlfriend, loads of money, a caring family, success . . . What can he be sad about?

The interview is done, Tom is in the car, cruising in the city. He's finally going home after a long, tiring, and stressful day.

He unlocks his phone and checks his text messages. They're plain and all related to his fame or his work. All his conversations are so self-centred. What are his plans? What does he like? And what's his opinion on this subject? He, he, him, him, again and again!

He's so tired and wants to be entertained. This empty space laying in his heart and brain becomes bigger and bigger. It's become harder to ignore it, especially when he's alone like tonight. Besides, he's too used to entertain others that he almost forgets what it's like to be passive and watch people do things. As if the world revolved around him.

Here we go. Instagram. The most toxic of all social media platforms. He scrolls through pictures of his friends. The famous ones on red carpets or photoshoots; the anonymous ones a drink in their hands. They're all so superficial. All the same. And the algorithm showing him pictures fans have taken of him earlier today . . . Icing on the cake. Why would he watch this? He doesn't need it. But he decides to read what the fans say, because he's curious. Or because he's obsessed with what people think of him. He needs to be known, loved, remembered, at the centre of attention – adored. He wouldn't need to sell his soul to the devil because it's already in him, and he's now paying the price of this sin.

The fans he met earlier, who were so happy to finally see their idol, were bullying him on social media. They aren't even aware of it. All these people objectifying him, posting pictures of his family – invading his privacy – and saying he can't 'write' or 'walk' or do anything properly because he's just human. They say they are joking except it's not funny. Tom's feelings are hurt, again. He should have written 'you're' instead of 'your', he should have noticed there was a hole in the grass and not trip . . . These images are roaming in his brain like a car's spinning wheels when you brake at 60 miles per hour; the pressure of the tyres scratching your mind, and the intrusive thoughts that can't be stopped like the wheel. Ever. And you eventually hit the wall.

He glances at the rear-view mirror and see his driver focused on the traffic lights. He glances around to make sure no paparazzi is watching and takes a flask out of his back pocket. His trembling hands poorly hold it, but he needs to drink something to feel better; to feel energised. He spills his boose on the leather seats and sighs with annoyance. Grabbing his hoodie feels like lifting the weight of the world; he manages to wipe it off and savours the sweet taste of vodka. Just one sip can't hurt.

That's how you know it's too late.

"Do you really need it?" says the assistant in the front passenger seat who caught him.

"It's just a drink" Tom replies instantly, frowning his eyebrows.

"I'm just worried about you, you know" he adds as he turns around and looks at him in his eyes.

"There's nothing to worry about," Tom mumbles as he feels relaxed "I can stop if I want to."

"If you say so . . ."

And even the people surrounding him day and night aren't trying to help him. Everyone's aware he's slowly getting addicted and is wasting his potential, everyone but the fans. Everyone pretends to love him, but nobody truly cares. They're just after his money, power, and fame . . .

It's like watching him tiptoeing on the deck's edge of a ferry and being shocked when he eventually falls off in the unforgiving cold, dark sea.

He smiles when the car stops in front of his London house. That's the only place where he feels like he can truly be himself. Or the last of it. After all, who is he really? Spider-Man? An actor that pleases 13-year-old girls? A failure? An impostor? Or no one at all?

What happened to the young boy who was excited about everything and anything? What happened to the one who used to laugh more than he'd breathe?

He is torn. He can't love anymore. He's had many girlfriends, each one more famous and beautiful than the last, but they couldn't bring him back to life. He truly loved them though. He felt good with them and always thought they were a match until he messed up. Making up a behaviour so they'd leave him because he's not strong enough to quit. Because he is just like this. A kid who can't handle success.

He currently has a girlfriend. Everyone loves her. He thinks she's too good for him though. Too beautiful, too clever, and maybe too famous. He feels like she's achieving much more than he is and that scares him. He can't even make love to her without feeling like he's not worth it. So, he ignores her calls, takes days to reply to a text, becomes cold as stone, distant, and unstable. This is how cowards break up. But she holds on to him.

Once he gets home, he sits on his couch and starts watching TV. His stomach is empty; he hasn't eaten all day but the only thing he wants is to drink more. It's like a voice in his brain that takes control of his body. He sees everything but can't do anything about it. The smell, the thirst, the mind that can't think of anything else. His hands are shaking, breathing becomes uneasy, he's uncomfortable in his own skin; he's a stranger to himself until he drinks. He's desperately waiting for someone to help him. But they're all too busy with their own problems.

He tries to drink from his flask, but it is empty.

He groans. "One more isn't gonna hurt" he whispers to himself as he walks towards the kitchen area. He opens the fridge and grabs a cold one.

And another one.

And another one.

And another one.

And another one . . .

The saddest thing about the situation is that he truly believes in his excuses. He doesn't realise he desperately needs help.

Now, the fridge is empty. But he still doesn't feel it. He doesn't feel the uninhibited state he wants to reach. He's still a victim of his thoughts; the sadness, the anger, the feeling of being trapped in a never-ending game.

He glances at his 80,000 dollars Rolex and decides it's time for him to go to a bar. He grabs his phone and calls his assistant. No answer. He calls his second assistant then. No answer.

"It's only 2AM, come on!" he grunts.

Only?

He thinks for barely a second and grabs his keys and gets into his car. There's a night bar in Kingston that he absolutely loves, and he knows he's always welcome there.

As a celebrity he's obviously welcome everywhere. But he noticed the way people looked at him with pity when he spent an entire night drinking without speaking to anyone. Alone in his thoughts that only he knows. It's different there, the barmaid usually talks to him and entertains him. And she just doesn't care he's famous, which is rare nowadays.

He's been caught drunk driving many times, but he was always released without a word because he's so famous. As if all the police officers have daughters who worship him.

Maybe his problem is thinking he's above all. He who used to be so humble, kind, and generous.

He parks in front of the venue, but the lights are off. He rolls down the window and squints to read the paper sticked to the door.

The bar is closed for annual leave.

"Fuck it!" he shouts. He checks on his phone if another bar is open tonight. Miss Jackson is. It's not the bar he usually spends his time in, but the beers are good and it's not too crowded for him. He absolutely wants to avoid fans tonight.

Most of them are underage, it's dangerous for him. One mistake and he'd become a paedophile. That's why he swore to himself to never do anything with a fan, no matter how hot they are. It's harder to respect this rule when he's drunk though.

"Let's go then" he says in a lazy way, the alcohol slowly taking control of him.

His eyes are red, everything he sees is blurred. He can't keep his thoughts straight.

He starts the car and puts some music to lighten his mood. He needs this to feel better. If something bad happens while he's drunk it ruins his mood. And when this happens . . . he starts having very dark thoughts. The kind of thoughts you better keep to yourself if you don't want people to be scared for you. Where your life is on the line, and you don't care about tomorrow because you just want to stop it . . . The sadness; the anxiety; the constant fears. Because the only moment you feel happy is when you sleep, as if you were dead. Tom feels like this all the time, and he hides it well.

But now he's focusing on the moment. The boose allows him to feel better. He listens to this pop song and its energy is spreading in his body. He's pushed by the music; the excitement and adrenaline take control over his body. He's ready to go.

He quickly backs up the car. He's so excited to go to the bar to finally drink some more and—

BOOM! His car abruptly stops, it sounds like a crash. An alarm is wailing, echoing in Tom's ears, making him feel dizzy. The shock was so intense he hit his face against the airbag of his steering wheel leaving his skin half-burnt. He passes out.

Tom startles as he wakes up, "what the fuck just happened?" he hisses. He stays still giving time to his brain to proceed the information and checks his rear-view camera. It's been disconnected.

He jumps out of his car and checks what happened. He collided with another vehicle. A much smaller car with a crushed bumper. Tom's car is damaged as well, but he doesn't care, he walks over the small Fiat 500 and scans the surroundings. His heart is pounding; air isn't traveling down to his lungs. He suffocates as if he were trapped in a cage down the ocean. He doesn't control his shaking fingers rubbing against his sweating forehead. His lips are parting, gasping for air, while his eyes are wide open looking straight to the ground.

For a second, he realises that he can be in big trouble if anyone knows about this. This can be enough to be fired by the Marvel Studios and ruin his entire career, his life. No one wants a drunk superstar to ruin a movie's reputation.

He hesitates. He wants to run away. He faintly grabs his head in his weak hands and is heavily panting. He can taste iron on the tip of his tongue. He rubs his forearm against his mouth and feels wobbly at the sight of his own blood.

What is he going to do? Has someone seen what happened? And if he leaves, what happens to the unconscious person in the car? But if he helps them, what guarantees him he's not going to be prosecuted? And lose it all? But what if he leaves and this person dies? What if they die and someone knows he killed them? Each scenario is getting worse and worse.

There's only one viable option for him.

"Hey, are you alright?" he says as he approaches the fuming car.

He glances around, but the street is empty. That's the reason why he usually loves this place; because it's so quiet.

"Are—Are you okay there?" he stutters.

He opens the door and see blood. Dark, thick, red blood. An unconscious woman with blood all over her face is lying on the steering wheel. Her car is so old there is no airbag. The shock must've been tough for her. She might even have a brain injury.

Tom places his hand on this woman's neck to check if her heart is still beating. It's weak. She needs help or she'll die because of his stupidity, because he's a drunk who can't even check his surroundings before backing up his car. Poor woman whose life is on pause for his mistake. She'll die because of him.

He dials 999 on his cell phone and repeats what he's going to say once someone picks up the phone.

"There's a woman—she's injured! Car accident!" he cries. He doesn't even try to make sentences; he just wants this to be over. "Please come quickly"

"What's your name, sir?"

His body is wavering, tears are streaming down his face – it's absolute chaos in his mind. He can't tell his name; he'd rather die than publicly suffer from the consequences of his actions. He needs to fly away; he needs to escape from this nightmare. He needs to leave, and now.

He hangs up in a hurry. No one can know he is drunk, and he almost killed someone. He walks back to his SUV and catches one last glimpse of this woman's body before closing the door and driving away.

As soon as he leaves, he regrets his decision, but sticks to it anyway. His soul is crying for him to go back there and help this dying life, but his cowardice tells him to hide and wait until this is over. He's reaching his lowest point, and the only person he wants to see now is his mum. When she holds him in her arms, the weight of his problems is bearable; he can even feel relaxed. And he wishes she'd be able to do it tonight. But it would kill her to know what monstrosity her son just did . . .

He's home, all alone. It's been a few hours since the incident happened, and Tom can't think of anything else. This woman's face, her blood all over the windshield, her crushed car.

Why didn't she see him? Why was she driving so fast in an empty street at night? So many questions roam in Tom's brain, it's slowly eating him alive.

He's sobering up as the morning lights glow on his face. It's already 6AM and he hasn't slept at all. He watches himself in his bathroom mirror and only see dark circles, pale skin, and the features of a monster. The broken blood vessels in the white of his eyes give him an evil aspect. He raises his arm and see the pink burnt skin, another scar for life. How on earth could he leave a dying woman?

He doesn't only feel remorse; he doesn't recognise himself. He's lost and wonders what happened in his life to be so miserable he considers his career more important than someone else's life.

He firmly rubs his face with the palms of his hands and takes off his clothes in a simple sweep. He crawls onto his bed and covers his body with a weighted blanket. He's almost trying to forget he exists when he squeezes his eyes shut and stops breathing until his lungs pressure him to open his mouth. Nature has done a wonderful job preventing us from suffocating on purpose. What a bummer for Tom; he would be dead already if he could just stop breathing . . .

He takes his phone, his only friend and his worst enemy, and checks the local news. Maybe they've mentioned the accident and he'll be able to know what happened to his woman. Not many articles have been published since last night. He keeps scrolling until he finds what he's been looking for.

25-year-old in coma after accident in Southeast London, fugitive remains unfound

Tom's heart skips a beat; this article must be about her. For a second, he apprehends and hesitates to read the article. But his guilty mind needs to know everything about what happened since he deserted.

As he reads the article, he gently places his hand over his mouth to stop him from crying out loud. The woman was so heavily injured they needed to put her under artificial coma to keep her alive. She was on her way to meet her dying husband, in the same hospital she's at now.

Such an emotional shock inflicts a profound pain to Tom's heart. He sobs in silence and passes out due to sleep deprivation. He's finally at peace; no thought, no nightmare. His mind is off, and his body is fully regenerating. His brain is solely focused on keeping his body alive. His soul is resting for a few hours until his cell phone starts ringing.

Tom wakes up with a start and answers his phone without checking who's on the line.

"Tom, what are you doing? I've been knocking at your door for the past 10 minutes," shouts his brother "what happened to your car? Dude what are you doing? You've gotta get ready for GQ!"

"Wh—What?" he mumbles.

His brother knocks at the door. Tom gets off his bed and walks down the stairs with difficulty. When he opens the door, the lights blind him, it's too sunny outside. He'd rather stay inside for a few more hours.

His brother checks him out and sighs. "Have you been drinking? The photoshoot is in less than an hour and you look like shit"

Tom remains silent, trying to process the information.

"And what happened to your car, man?"

And here it is. Every memory comes back in his mind like fireworks and his feet are failing, he can barely stand still. He grabs his brother by his shoulder and holds him tight in his arms. He's the only one who can really help him feel better. He wants to tell him everything that happened, but he can't admit he's got a problem.

He's lost.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading! What do you think so far of the story? Tom is in a very bad situation, I wonder how he's going to get through it?

Please like this post to be in the taglist.

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 1 for the first time. Random thoughts.

This show is kind of nice because I have no memories of the original She-Ra show, or even any of He-Man, honestly. I'm not sure if I ever watched the original, so I have no frame of reference for how the series is "supposed" to be. I can just take it and judge it as is.

Of the bat, all I know is that supposedly She-Ra and Catra get together as a romantic couple later, but I'm also a huge My Hero Academia fan and the fandom around me ships every character with every other character, so for all I know that might just be shipper wishful thinking I've been seeing and hearing. Given fandoms for Gravity Falls, Thor, and Supernatural ship even siblings together, I've learned not to trust anything except for what I see in the series for myself.

By the way, this isn't a review, just random thoughts and comments I'm having as I'm going through season 1 for the first time.

Episodes 1 and 2: Right off, I really like Catra's "No duh" response to Adora about the truth of the horde. She knows they've been lying to them and have been doing terrible things, she just doesn't care. If she and Adora play their cards right they could end up being the ones in charge and then they'd have all that power. Not necessarily to make things better but enough to where they could do whatever and live however they want. That's a good build for an antagonist. Not ignorant to the fact what they're doing is wrong, just simply so selfish that they don't care.

Episode 3: It really feels like there was no good reason why Glimmer didn't just outright introduce Adora to her mother and every reason she should have known it was a bad idea to try and hide her for a surprise. Being a former horde soldier she'd probably get treated with hostility if Glimmer brought her to the front gate but you'd almost guarantee Adora would get arrested or outright killed if she got caught while no one else knew she was there.

On the other side, we have Hordak being pretty intelligent in promoting Catra. He probably knows Shadow Weaver already doesn't like him, so it's not like he's losing anything making her upset with him, and it's clear she favors Adora way more than Catra, so that little bit of advancement towards Catra probably goes a long way in earning her loyalty to him and a person on the inside with Shadow Weaver.

Also, I'm not the only one who saw Madam Razz and immediately thought Adora had found her Yoda, right?

Episode 4: I don't know how it was in the original She-Ra and He-Man series but I kind of like She-Ra being this title from legend. Adora is not the first She-Ra, given what Razz was talking about with a Mara, so instead of being something new, impressing everyone with abilities they've never seen before, and creating the legend, Adora is placed in a position WAY over her head where she's having to live up to what came before her.

Episode 5: Calling it now, as long as her personality is genuine I think Scorpia is going to be one of my favorite characters in this show. She's...endearing, I think is the best word. She's like a mix of Kronk and a nicer Shego.

For a little bit I thought Mermista was voiced by the same actress who played Poison Ivy in the Harley Quinn animated series. She's not but they do have the same kind of Daria-ish inflections, thus by confusion. Given the prom episode, Sea Hawk feels kind of like her Kite Man.

Episode 6: Okay, now it's between Scorpia and Entrapta who are likely to be my favorites by the end of this. She's fun and quirky.

Episode 7: Quite the lore drop. Shadow Weaver was once a Mystacor sorceress known as Light Spinner. I like to imagine we'll get more on that later. Her haunting Adora reminded me of the Teen Titans' episode where Robin was similarly haunted by Slade. This didn't go as far as that but that's probably for the best, since TT had two and a half seasons to build that dynamic up with Robin and Slade while we're only now halfway through the first season.

Episode 8: Well dang. Again, I don't know for sure if Adora and Catra do end up together but boy do I buy why they're shipped together after that dance. Also, good on Bow for standing up for himself. It's clear that he'll always be Glimmer's friend and this won't change that but that doesn't mean he has to just accommodate her. I understand where her issues stem from but I am still glad he gave her a reality check. It helps him feel a little more like his own character.

Also, another nice little bit of lore and worldbuilding. Scorpia's a princess, the horde landed where her people lived, and they seemed to join them willingly.

Episode 9: Surprisingly don't have a lot to say about this other than I don't buy for a second that Entrapta is dead (EDIT: She's not). This was mostly action.

Episode 10: Not going to lie, this one kind of annoyed me a little, at least the first half. The conversation between Glimmer and her mother saved it a bit. It was a bit of a trifecta. You have the alliance breaking apart, saying that the loss of Entrapta only happened because they were all together...even though Entrapta only "died" because of her own machine obsession that caused her to deliberately walk back into the purging chamber. You have Entrapta who might be turning to the horde's side because she feels abandoned by the other princesses...even though they thought she was dead, and again it was her fault they got separated. And you have Glimmer refusing to tell her mother that Shadow Weaver's dark magic has caused her powers to go on the fritz and is causing her great pain. It just feels like none of this would be an issue if most of these people would stop being self-absorbed for three seconds and talk like any normal person would. It feels very CW drama, like something I'd see in a bad season of Arrow or The Flash. The only person whose issues I buy is Adora, who is basically a soldier who was never properly raised to deal with emotion or loss and is already struggling with the burden of being She-Ra, the legendary savior. I get why she's beating down on herself for not being able to do more even if nothing that happened was her fault.

Episode 11: JEEEEEEEEEZZZZ, that was such a good episode! Focused entirely on Adora and Catra and their past together. Like, just showing someone this episode alone could probably get them to want to watch the series. That was everything you needed to know about their dynamic and history together.

Also, that moment when Catra and her past self are looking at each other, while obviously Catra takes the opposite lesson, it reminded me of this fanart I'd once seen of Jason Todd, the Red Hood, looking at his past self as Robin. The past says to the future "You ruined everything". Catra could be happy but, ironically for someone who hates Shadow Weaver, she's probably going to be a lot like her, sacrificing everything for power and ambition.

Given the way she looked, I'm guessing Shadow Weaver is either addicted to the power of the Black Garnet or she suffered some kind of past injury and its power is the only thing keeping her going. Or both.

Episode 12: I'll be honest, Swiftwind being able to talk kind of gobsmacked and I needed a moment to recover. What a great voice they chose for that character.

So She-Ra is kind of like the legendary heroes from Rising of the Shield Hero, coming from a long line of people chosen to wield the sword. I tend to dislike chosen one types of stories because I think prophecy takes a lot of weight out of the character's actions, so this and Avatar are more what I like. The MC is special but not the only one who's ever been special and they can still easily fail. Their destiny was only to be able to use the weapon, not that they would succeed in any specific purpose.

And dang, Catra's turn against Shadow Weaver happened faster than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. That great "This is what you've really been preparing me for" speech and Hordak, again, being an intelligent villain. "Oh, this experiment could net me a MASSIVE gain and all it could potentially cost me is this rock I already gave away to someone who lately hasn't been producing any results and has been consistently disobeying me. Yeah, I'm going to let this play out."

Episode 13: That was kind of a brutal fight between Adora and Catra. Not the worst I've ever seen even in other shows for this age range (Samurai Jack, for example) but those punches are connecting and those claws are leaving marks.

Also, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the exact situation but shouldn't the good guys' side be called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion? Being a rebellion would imply they are rebelling against an established power or rule over them, but the actual conflict we are shown is the established power and rule that is the kingdoms of Eternia resisting an outside force that wishes to establish a new order over them.

Season 1 verdict: I'm into it. I'm definitely more invested in the villains' side of things but that's not a fault of the series, that stuff is just way more geared towards me than the current princess stuff. I actively am at attention whenever the horde main characters are on screen. For the good guys it's mostly Adora and the She-Ra stuff I'm invested it. That isn't to say I have any real dislikes for that side. Bow especially I'm liking much more than I thought I might. He has kind of this gravitational pull around him. You will be his friend regardless of how much you might want to resist. He's definitely the rock for everyone else to hold onto.

Minor side note, kind of like Korra in Legend of Korra, I love how even when her powers aren't active Adora is shown to still be pretty strong physically with how easily she was lifting people up at the prom.

And I was right, Scorpia is my favorite side character.

On to season 2!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/nyll2e/going_in_blind_watching_season_1_for_the_first/

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

In My Veins (1/?)

House, M.D. Fanfic

This story takes place after the end of the series, following Wilson's death. Sorry, it had to be done for story purposes. If you've read my other fic, you know I'm a Huddy fan. This will be very Huddy. Maybe I can give them a better ending than the show.

Obviously, I don't own the show or characters. If I did, Huddy would have had a happier ending. Also, the title is based on the song "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle, which I don't own either. I highly recommend looking it up and giving it a listen. It just feels Huddy for me in regards to this story.

A huge thank you to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie for taking all of my crazy ideas and giving me honest feedback on all of my Huddy stuff, and for analyzing them with me!

This story is not as fleshed out on paper as it is in my head and will definitely be slower to update than my other fic, but it is still very much being worked on. This one is just more complicated. Please bear with me, and I hope you like what I've done! As always, feedback and comments are welcome. This story isn't as unchangeable, so predictions or something you might like to see or analyzing things are welcome too. It might be something I hadn't thought of yet.

She'd known she'd find him here. She'd known he would come after everyone else had left. She needed to see him. She just needed to know that he was okay. Her car showed to a stop, and when she got out, she saw the all too familiar figure of the man who had broken her heart... the man she couldn't help but still be in love with.

"I heard you were dead," she stated evenly as she approached the gravesite.

"I am." The familiar voice hadn't startled him. But he was very surprised she was there... and even more surprised that she didn't seem surprised to see him. "I only had you and Wilson. You left. Wilson died. Now I've got nothing," he murmured lowly after a few moments. It was useless to try hiding everything from her. She knew him almost as well as he knew her. She would wait him out until he broke. She had more patience than Wilson where he was concerned.

"I left because you drove a car through my dining room!"

"You left before that."

"When we broke up," she realized. She had expected this conversation. She'd been preparing for it the entire week before the funeral.

He just gave her a silent look. "You're not surprised to see me," he commented, looking away from her.

She just looked at him. And he could tell. "Wilson told you I wasn't really dead."

---flashback---

She stood there staring at the fresh grave, feeling... she wasn't sure what exactly she was feeling. What was she even supposed to feel? Hurt? Anger? Grief? A sense of loss bigger than she wanted to admit, bigger than she'd thought possible. When she first heard she was numb. She didn't want to believe it. There was no way the man who had caused her so much grief, who she had watched pull through so many other life threatening instances, was dead. She'd actually come to believe he was too damn stubborn to die. And then she found a wry smile tugging at the corners of her lips, despite her best efforts, as she heard the all too familiar voice of the man in question echoing in her head: "Everybody dies."

She couldn't stop the slow, silent tears as they slid down her cheeks. She didn't wipe them away either, instead allowing herself to feel, trying to process and label what exactly she was feeling. She'd told him once that she loved him, she couldn't help it. And now it was so very clear just how true those words were.

After spotting her, Wilson allowed her a few moments of privacy to grieve before walking over. "It's good to see you. I wasn't sure you'd come, considering."

Cuddy glanced up at him, brushing her finger under her eyes to try to look presentable. "Of course I'd come," she said quietly. "He was the most incredible man I've ever known." She had said those words to House only a couple years ago.

"The man did drive a car through your house," Wilson reminded her. Maybe bringing that up would remind her of all the shit House had done so she wouldn't be so upset.

"I had to see for myself that he was..." she trailed off, unable to say the word. It was completely insane, really. She was a doctor. She dealt with life and death every day. And now she couldn't even bring herself to say the word where he was concerned. "You're a terrible doctor," she could hear that familiar smug voice again. God, he was never going to be out of her head. "Maybe if I'd been there..."

"You could have, what? Saved him?" Wilson asked, arching an eyebrow.

She just gave him a silent look. She was beating herself up... she was feeling guilty that she hadn't been there to at least try to save him. For a long time she'd been the only one who could... from many things. This time she wasn't there, and now he was dead.

Wilson saw the guilt she felt at not being there to be his savior this time. "You always were his heart," he commented then, making a decision. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't going to let House keep hurting her. "He's not dead."

"Wilson..." she started, realizing her friend was probably processing his own grief and loss. He must be in denial.

"He's not. It's fake." He then went into detail about how House faked his death and the reasoning behind it.

For the second time in a week, Cuddy felt numb. And the familiar anger only House could provoke in her flared. "That son of a bitch..." she almost growled.

---end flashback---

She was quiet for a moment. "He saw me at your grave. He knew I was upset."

"I told him it wouldn't make a difference to you."

"How could you think that?!"

He shrugged. "I was already dead to you. Actually being dead would serve as an improvement. Then you wouldn't be tortured by guilt over how much you hate me."

"I've never been able to hate you, House."

"I've got a lot of memories that would beg to differ." He saw the look on her face then. "Fine, not a lot of memories. But a handful." He was quiet for another moment. "One memory."

She was silent. What was she supposed to say? That she forgives him? She doesn't. "Two, actually," she finally stated. They both knew what the first was. But at his questioning look on the second, she turned away and looked straight ahead. "You made me think you were dead," she stated lowly. She had been almost as angry at that as she had been when he drove into her house. She felt he needed to know that.

He was quiet for a moment, processing what she said. He hadn't expected her anger at his fake death, though he realized now that maybe he should have. "And yet here you are," he finally commented, studying her.

"Wilson was my friend too."

"That explains why you came to the funeral... which you already knew I wouldn't be at since I'd be keeping up the appearance that I was dead. That doesn't explain why you're HERE," he explained. "You knew I was alive the entire time. You knew coming here now, after everyone else is gone... you knew I'd be here."

The way he still knew her and could cut through any facade she could concoct about why she was there, surprisingly caught her off guard for a moment. She quickly managed to cover the shocked expression in her eyes.

"You came to check on me," he stated, unable to hide the slightest trace of an amused smile. She did still care about him...at least a little. "Why?" He couldn't help but ask, couldn't help but try to push her buttons.

She just looked at him for a moment, her temper flaring a bit as she'd seen his smile. "We all have our vices," she replied, her voice echoing the same time it had taken nearly three years ago when she'd told him that she couldn't help but love him, turning on her heel to walk back to her car. He was an ass. She should have known better than to see him. She should have just gone back to her life... left him dead. In less than five minutes, he'd already managed to open Pandora's box inside her once again. And it was true... she was an addict, same as him. He was addicted to Vicoden, but she was just as addicted to him.

Her words caught him off guard, or at least the truth in them, the implication they carried had surprised him. And he did the only thing he knew to do. He followed behind her. "Wanna get a drink?" He asked, almost allowing himself to hope.

She had opened the door already, but paused, just before she got in her car. She told herself he'd just lost his best friend... his world was probably crashing down. And for as much as she told herself no, told herself it was a bad idea, she remembered the times her world had been crashing down around her and he'd been the one there. He was there through her struggle with IVF... he'd been there when she'd lost the first baby she tried to adopt. It was time to return the favor. "Get in the car."

[namtanlovesfilm]

Hi Axelle ! I will gladly accept the title of school ranger anon, it is an honor I promise to do justice ;p And there's something I didn't know... Like Leo is part French ? As a French person myself, I gotta give him some credit for that ;p I do love all of them as well, but I've started back from the beginning and only watched 40 episodes or so (although I'm going through them quickly... They're kind of addictive, I've got to admit ^^), so there are some rangers I know less so far. (1)

I think I may have forgotten to hit anon of my last ask... Oups ? I   just exposed myself as school ranger anon if that is the case xD Oh well ! But I LOVED all the facts you shared about them, a few that I also loved : - Everybody making fun of Gun for his height and yet sometimes he comes and schools them by like jumping way higher than them all. - Off being all casual and 'slow' and yet killing it at so many games. - Gun being a baby who rages when he gets frustrated. - Arm being good at (1) 

- being good at basically everything BUT basketball xD - People always making fun of Tay for being a klutz and yet sometimes he comes and just excels at a game out of nowhere. -Mond's hips.... No comment. Boy is perfect. - THE FRIENDSHIPS. Man the friendships between all of them are killing me. I love Leo/Nicky, I love Tay/Off/Gun and the way they can't stop laughing when it's the three of them, I love Chimon/Nanon, so many good relationships  and it's just great to see them have fun. 

hi school rangers anon ;) also... un.e français.e??? you talked to me in english so I will answer in the same language but there are so many french or french-speaking people in this fandom and I?? LOVE it!!! also nope, your anonymity is preserved lol, though you can also come off anon to talk to me any time if you want :)

but yes leo is part french, his last name is saussay so like v v french haha! also yesss I agree with you there are so many hilarious and unexpected moments, some of the rangers get underestimated and then they will SLAY a challenge out of nowhere! I agree offguntay is my fave trio ever they’re so iconic but every single team that’s happened in this show is iconic (though sometimes they don’t put the guest with the ranger I want them to and I get pissed... who thought not putting captain with white was a good idea?? I’ll be bitter about it until I die lol)

anyways I love school rangers I wish it was subbed and more popular across the fandom because it’s truly one of my very favorite things on earth :)

xxx

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[his-naughty-little-kitten]

Hi there! I have a genuine q. Why do you most kuro fans believe Seb and Ciel are in an intimate relationship (that's not shown explicitly to readers)? I get all the fanservice (fangirl over it tbh), but the kid -freaks- when others touch him. It's even happened with Sebastian. Yana sensei hints the cult assaulted him so all the 'don't touch me!' moments stem from that. With Ciel's visible trauma, I'm kinda scratching my head why so many people legitimately think Ciel wants to do his butler?

Hello, Anon ~

Wow, that’s a very interesting question! However, I’m afraid Icannot speak for the whole fandom, so I can only give you my personal opinion.

Definitely, one of the things that encourage theshipping is the fanservice. Yaoi fans are naturally attracted to series withtwo male leads, and shippers of any kind will always start shipping charactersthat spend a lot of time together, have a close relationship and make a lot ofphysical contact, as those are the things that lead to a strong bond (romanticor otherwise) in real life. So if you add some nearly sexual situations,suggestive comments and a certain amount of possessiveness, what you got is(something resembling) a relationship. It’s only natural that the fans ship it. Yet, I can seeyou’re hintingsomething deeper than a platonic relationship and, while I’m not one ofthose who believe that they fuck behind closed doors, there are severalin-canon reasons why such a thing wouldn’t be so unlikely.

1.- Sebastian’s character

Sebastianis portrayed in the manga as a very seductive human as well as a sinful demon.He’s what one would call a ‘lady-killer’, though it’s been made obvious throughthe manga that is not only ‘ladies’ that he’s interested in. We know he’s anexperienced seducer, but does he have any preferences?

Yana addressed this topic in a post she called “Sebastian’s favoritetype” (  http://akumadeenglish.tumblr.com/post/127400149717/sebastians-favourite-type ) and we were told that, when it comes to sex,Sebastian does not care about gender or age - a curious answerthat I believe is a subtle way of addressing the controversial topic aboutSebastian and Ciel age difference - and when having a long-term human partnerhe seeks an outstanding beauty as well as a high class soul, and the authormentions Ciel having those qualities. So we can deduce something from this;Sebastian likes Ciel. Maybe not romantically, as we know demons can’t love thesame way humans do, but there’s definitely some attraction beyond mere curiosity.Sebastian chose Ciel and he did so very carefully. This is not fanservice, butrather, a part of the character’s development, a confirmed canon fact.  

Apart from that, we’ve seen Sebastian caring for Ciel many times in a muchdeeper fashion than the mere “omg, I’ll lose my breakfast!” I can’t list all themoments in which this is shown because there are many, but another bloggeralready did something similar. (See it here - http://rabid-bunny.tumblr.com/post/144133678003/i-was-wondering-do-you-think-sebastian-and-ciel)

So, we have attraction + care. Maybe that isn’t enough tosay that he loves Ciel, but for a demon, I’d say it’s close enough, so the ‘Seba’ part ofSebciel is definitely not unrealistic. Now we only have to prove that Ciel isjust as willing as Sebastian is.

2.- Ciel’s character

Manga is a somewhat strict comic type. It followscertain guidelines and tropes that, while not mandatory, are to a certainextent what makes manga to be identified as manga. Those guidelines ofteninclude certain character archetypes. Think, for example, of a shonenprotagonist or a shojo heroine. And I’m sure that, when you think of other shonenprotagonists, Ciel seems kind of out of place. Well, that’s because Cielis a shota.

Shota is a manga genre that showcases underaged boysin sexual situations. And while it may seem controversial to the eyes of awestern reader, shota is a genre Yana is familiar with.

(Image - To the left, a shota boy as portrayed in one of Yana’s previous works, Glamorous Lip. To the right, Ciel in a famous manga scene.)

That alone is enough to justify the possible sexualinterpretations of many of the scenes she has drawn, as they are not innocentlydone. The author knows very well what she’s writing about and she purposely teases the reader.But, as you say, Ciel is a character that has never shown any sexualinclination through the series, be it due to a traumatic past experience orsimply to his young age.  

Ciel’s sexuality is a very interesting topic itself and I’d gladlydedicate a whole post to it alone, but I’ll summarize or this will be too long; Ciel isdefinitely knowledgeable about sex, whether he likes it or not. He isn’t innocent, asmany readers claim him to be. (“I’m already a ‘lady’” – vol. 02 ch. 07 – Ciel, when asked if he was tooyoung for “that pleasurable thing”.)

He’s also old enough in his universe, regardlessof realism on that matter, as other characters are already exposed to sexualityat his age or even younger (Siegleinde, Alois, Joan…) Yet he’s definitely notstraight.

Hehas expressed his disinterest in girls, women and marriage several times (“I don’thave time to associate with little girls”, vol. 01, ch. 02) and, while it maybe arguable that he has also refused his many male suitors (aka, asexuality),he didn’t hesitate when he had to use his ‘charm’ to seduce a man (ViscountDruitt, Edgard Redmond). He’s also been portrayed in many overly sexualizedscenes regarding men and, in fact, he also doesn’t get much female attention unlessthe eventual “aww, so cute…”, and the exception of Lizzy, his cousin, and Nina,the lesbian character, which suggests that the author is hinting the characteras homosexual. 

Butthis alone doesn’t solve the problem of his fear. Ciel was probably abused,most likely by men, and he fears intrusive adults and intimate touches. Yet hedoesn’t seem to fear Sebastian’s touch, however. Yes, there was a moment inwhich he did, confused as he was in his illness, mixing reality with hallucinations.It wasn’t Sebastian who he feared, but rather the man his eyes were seeing.

(Image - Hallucination vs reality; vol.19 ch. 90)

All the other times, he seems quite comfortable withit, including intimate touch. In fact, they initiate physical touch with eachother all the time. But, as for whether that’s enough to overcome Ciel’s phobia, that’s open for interpretation.

3.- The very own nature of demons and the contract

Thestory of Kuroshitsuji is a tale of lust. Sebastian lusts for Ciel. He desireshim. He’s possessive and doesn’t let anyone else threaten what’s his. (“The simple fact that someone other than I touches the Young Master disgusts me enough” - Sebastian in the 6th episode of the second anime season) He enjoys making him lookbeautiful (see “Sebastian’s favorite type” again). He takes delight fromripping off his clothes (refer to the CD Drama of pure, unadulteratedfanservice - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9vTgzWL41U  ) And more than anything he seeks to defilethe boy in every possible way. The more the boys sins, the richer his soulbecomes. And it is also a matter of pride. Sebastian is a sinful creature. Andhe’s never refused. Or he wasn’t — That’s is, until he met Ciel. Becauseno matter what he does, he never gets his Master’s approval. He keeps getting rejected.But he is perfection, so why is this? 

Sometimes it looks like Ciel truly despises Sebastian.He belittles him, disrespects him and turns down any sign of affection. Onemight even think that they don’t even get along. But it’s not like it. Those around them can clearly see thatCiel trusts, needs and loves (romantically or not) Sebastian (vol 09, ch. 41)Still, the young earl is prideful and doesn’t show it. And Yana herself wrote yet anotherbeautiful post talking about this ( http://akumadeenglish.tumblr.com/post/110896308729/difference-between-alois-and-ciel-as-seen-by-yana ). It may not seem so interesting for those who don’t take theanime as canon, as it is a comparison between Ciel and Alois, but it definitelysheds some light to Sebastian and Ciel canon relationship, and it is indeed oneof Addiction vs Rejection.

“However manysweet candies ‘he’ gives me, Imust not be addicted to ‘him’.For 'he’ is not ahuman, but a beast.”

It shows Alois as the ‘weak’ part. The onewho surrenders, who falls into temptation. “Say that you love me” it’s one of hisquotes from the anime. It is very intense, in my opinion. Yet, that issomething we will never hear Ciel say to his demon, is it? That’s because Cielis portrayed as the one who doesn’t give in. He refuses temptation. He refusesSebastian. He will not let him be in control. But he does so only because hedoesn’t want thedemon to take advantage, not because he doesn’t enjoy it.

So, while I don’t believe that Ciel and Sebastian had ever had, sex, I’ll cite aquote that I like a lot, and it says “the Devil’s voice is sweet to hear”. So, those who believe that they did, are simplyassuming that Ciel gave in, that he surrendered to temptation. It is not aridiculous assumption, as such a thing is, in fact, a strong plot device ofKuroshitsuji. I can see how temptation could easily overpower fear. After all,Sebastian (or any other demon) is the incarnation of his Master’s desires. Hewould know what to say, where to touch… He would go asslowly as he needs, and whisper all the things Ciel yearns to hear. He wouldcomfort him, just like he always do when Ciel dreams about the things thathappened to him.

Somepeople believe that Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship would be one of abuse(well, what kind of relationship do you expect to have with a demon??), yetultimately it’s all to Ciel’s choice. Sebastian is just a dog on a leash.

So as to finally answer your question, I don’t believe thatCiel wants to do his butler, but rather, his butler wants to do him and it’s left to thereaders’ interpretation whether or not he will be able to do so.