#I'm actually less mad at him and more mad at

[seat-safety-switch]

In diagnostics, there's no tool more powerful than that of positive thinking. Even though your public school teachers, parents, and assorted hippies have sold you a lie about the strength of not complaining too much, keeping motivated when repairing any complex system actually works. It can be easy to get frustrated and give up on your sixteenth straight hour of making zero progress, but remember: you're smarter than the dumb asshole who made this fucking thing, and you're gonna show them who's boss.

Now, psychologists are going to say that this is not actually positive thinking. This here is what they call an "extrinsic reward," or to put a finer point on it, spite. I don't care what they call it, and you shouldn't either: the chances of being able to walk your ass right into 1970s Plymouth HQ and telling the guy who fucked up the design of the torsion bar mounts are extremely low. Especially if you don't have a time machine.

Probably he is already dead, and Hell is regretting taking him. You won't get any satisfaction out of a confrontation at his gravesite, but you will have a working front suspension in your Volare and a couple good tips about rust removal. Also, much less hair and probably a drinking problem, but it's very difficult to pinpoint that to any particular cause. Could be the brake cleaner.

You get my point, though. Get good and mad at the dumbasses who didn't build it right in the first place, and then convert that anger into motivation. If you're really lucky, the folks who fucked it up will still be alive, and you can send them an email about how much they suck. That'll get them really good and pissed off to build something better next time, just to show you who's boss. It's called a virtuous cycle, and it ends in me being able to synthesize corn dogs out of thin air in my kitchen by 2026. I'll need to be able to, because I have a lot of spite projects I'm working on, which take up a lot of the time I'd otherwise be spending at the grocery store.

[bonebabbles]

just read your star post and you mentioned it not being the worst warrior cats book you've ever read

I'm concerned now lol

out of curiosity though, which book was the worst?

Onestar's Confession. This answer could easily change to Leopardstar's Honor but OSC is the one I've familiarized myself with more.

Not only does it fail to actually cover the most interesting parts of his life (instead opting to essentially be a re-cap of Onestar's appearances), it makes an interesting character worse by trying to make him "less bad."

It confirms that Onestar didn't cheat on either mate, Whitetail nor Smoke

Gives him more of a "legitimate" reason to send his son and ex-girlfriend away, by saying they tried to join during the destruction of the forest.

Has Onestar make an entire solo trip back to the forest to try and apologize to Smoke

Decides that Whitetail isn't even mad at Onestar for hiding this secret for all this time, accepts it almost immediately.

Makes Darktail born evil and the reason his mom died.

Onestar is also really mild for most of the book, just sort of experiencing things in the most boring way possible. Gorsepaw is killed in front of him and Morningflower, his sister, and he's like "dang. he was my apprentice AND my nephew."

Not to mention that it just decided all the worst family tree additions are totally canon. Onestar's siblings are Morningflower and Ashfoot, so Breezepelt and Heathertail are First Cousins Once Removed. His mate is Whitetail, who was his apprentice.

I could go on and on, but the book is just a big mess. It's boring. It's sloppy. It wastes the potential of what could have been a really complicated character. It shoves poorly written romance between OnexWhite at you, even taking away a moment Firestar gets in the Graphic Novel just to give it to Whitetail.

The book that infuriates me the most would probably come from DOTC, but imo, the WORST thing a story can be is boring. Which OSC is.

[iocaisaint]

I think the part I hate more about the HOFAS bonus chapter was actually the morning after. Ignoring IC finding out and the argument/execution talk, I despise that even though a decision had been made and it was supposed to be put to rest. The minute Rhys is away from Feyre he starts taking a go at Nesta because he knows no one else is going to stop him. I hate that Nesta is now magically bound to a court with a man who hates her and her only protection is her younger sister (who is a mother, a high lady and it quite frankly shouldn't be her job).

I despise that this is the first outside look we get into Nesta's life in the NC.... genuinely wtf

[mamawasatesttube]

bruce characterization is so hard because he really has been written all over the place. generally i try to think of him as a man who really does mean well, but whose drive for justice and unprocessed traumas can blind him to his shortcomings and lead to him inadvertently hurting his children. i also think that comics are a medium that doesn't usually lend itself well to character growth, because they to maintain a certain status quo to keep telling stories from, and so the bruce in my mind would honestly develop and learn from his mistakes a lot better than canon bruce actually does, because for someone who espouses the values he does, it makes no sense for him to completely stagnate, right. he's a puzzle you can put together in a lot of different ways and it's fascinating but also can be such a pain because of all the different books writing him in so many different ways, but characterizing him solely as an asshole is just boring and reductive imo...

...but all of that said i still think if martha kent ever found out how he talked to kon in sb94 #85 or in those issues of batgirl '00, she should be allowed to beat his ass with a pitchfork. yknow?

[lbulldesigns]

Replying to Glassknife

I can't help but imagine the worst-case scenario, mate, but you're right. I need to have more faith that things will not be as dramatic as I imagine them to be. My youngest girl, I guess now second youngest, still hasn't come home and I can't help but fear that she'll think she's been replaced when she does come home. But I need to remember that she isn't that dramatic, she might have feelings about having a new little sister but she's also always loved kids and can get fiercely protective of them. I'm the most worried about my youngest son M. He's made a few strides in his behaviour since I last posted here, but he still tends to run his mouth a bit, and I'm concerned that he'll say something without thinking. As for finding out more about Kitty's needs, I've tried contacting her maternal family and even the man who raised her. Her maternal family (former Pilties) just stuck their noses up at me and started ranting about propriety and lineage, and were just borderline ableist towards Kitty, they clearly thought they were above me. The entitlement, honestly, pissed me off and I'm almost happy that they decided to not take Kitty in because the idea that she would be surrounded by those people makes my skin and bones crawl. Her former father wasn't much better, I had arranged to meet him at my pub, but he came strolling in with a couple of his mates, clearly hoping for a brawl, and balked at the sight of me, I'm a 6"7 man whose, quoting P, built like a building on steroids ??? and can shift into a humanoid wolf creature (basically a werewolf). So after the three men decided that it was in their best interest to use their words instead the former father sat down and had a chat. I managed to find out that this man had absolutely no idea how to actually raise a child and never even bothered to get to know the little girl that he was raising for, he said in his words "She's kinda r******, but at least she's quiet" he clearly was taking his anger towards his wife's infidelity out on Kitty, I still don't know the circumstances on why she ended up in the Temples care but I'll find out so that I can help her, this man actually dared to ask me to reimburse him for Kitty's care, or to set up a payment plan for Kitty to pay him back herself when she's older. I threw all three out and told her former "father" to get in touch with my lawyer if he's really that concerned but haven't heard anything as of yet. Sorry for the rant, this all happened yesterday and I'm still pissed about it.

140 upvotes

Replying to Superfly

Ripping the bandaid off is usually my go-to solution, I just wanted to be mindful of my eldest child's frame of mind. She's been having a rough time the past year. Her sister ran away two years ago and hasn't reached out, then she and her ex got into a massive fight and broke up earlier two weeks before Christmas last year and has had a hard time with alcohol abuse that she's just recently started going to AA meetings for. There's a good chance having a new little sister will either give her more motivation to get back on track or it will send her spiralling.

50 Upvotes 5 Downvotes

Replying to Wormofastring

Thanks mate I would appreciate that! Luckily communicating with Kitty isn't a problem because she uses ASL, me and the rest of the kids learned it years ago in order to speak with my SIL, who is also mute and knows about everything. She's been amazing in helping me prepare my home for Kitty. Could you dm me?

30 Upvotes

Replying to Tenclaws

Thanks for the advice mate, I'm less worried about them being mad at me, they rib me constantly and would most likely just crack jokes at me. I'm worried about how they'll be with Kitty. I don't think, in the slightest, that they'll be malicious or cruel to her but she's a very timid girl and we're all very energetic and outgoing. I'm worried about the culture shock. Honestly, she reminds me more and more of my daughter P.

15 Upvotes

r/parentingadvice

How do I tell my adult children that they'll have a new little sister?

16th of December, 2023

I (45 M) have found myself in a position I didn't think I would find myself in at this point in my life.

It has been a while since I last posted on this site but the last time, I posted I was met with some really good advice, and even made a few friends, so I'm hoping I can get some really good advice now.

The title is self-explanatory. I have four children already, all adults now, and recently, a social worker contacted me to inform me that I possibly have a five-year-old daughter, now six as I write this. To say I was surprised was an understatement, I actually sat for hours racking my brain trying to remember who I slept with in the last six years, I'm not very active in the dating scene and can only remember having a one-night stand once which lines up with my new daughter's age.

There wasn't any actual confirmation that I was the father, and the worker was asking for a paternity test to locate this child's biological parent. I readily agreed to the test, and the results came back positive. It was then that I learned that my new daughter, who I'll call Kitty because she reminds me of one, had recently lost her mother (I wasn't given any details) and the man who had been raising her up until now had learned that Kitty wasn't his biological daughter and doesn't want anything to do with her, and neither does any of Kitty's maternal family after learning she was born both out of wedlock and is a result of her mother's infidelity.

I want to put out there, that I was under the belief that Kitty's mother was single at the time, I can't even remember her name (although the one given to me by the social worker didn't sound familiar in the slightest) and the number she gave me that night turned out to be for an 80-year-old woman who managed her social groups Tupperware "store", I think I was stuck on that phone call for two hours listening to this kind old lady go through her Tupperware sales speech, forget said speech and then rinse and repeat. And yes. I bought a lot of Tupperware that day. My daughter Pow (20) mocked me endlessly for doing so but had a blast baking to fill those containers.

It goes without saying, but I decided to get guardianship of Kitty, I've already met her. She's weary, which is fair she's going through a lot of changes at the moment and is silent which is a result of her being nonverbal (I've been told that she possibly has autism but hasn't been assessed yet) and strangely enough is already confirmed to be a Shifter; usually, people don't find out they're a Shifter until they become teenagers but she's an early bloomer.

Right now, she's in the hands of Janna's Temple until the transfer of custody can be finalized, I have set up appointments to go visit her so that she's used to my presence in her life and so that her transition into my home can go more smoothly.

My biggest worry at the moment is how my kids are going to react. They're all good kids, minus a few hiccups growing up, and I trust them to act accordingly with her but I also can't help but continuously imagine the worst-case scenario.

Has anyone else been in this situation? And if so, can you offer me any advice on how to navigate it in a way where I don't end up horrifically traumatizing my new daughter?

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[skitskatdacat63]

More matador!Fernando! Ferrari this time :D (I can't help myself.....)

- facial hair

+ closeups

I really wanted the vibe of this Nando pic, I think I did pretty well??

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[the-lark-ascending69]

Haters whining that Steve would be oh so sad if Robin and Nancy got together makes me actually want to see it. Toxic friend Steve who is irrationally mad at Robin for "dating his ex" and Robin actually feels... so heartbroken that her best friend is turning against her like this. She doesn't understand - she's loved Nancy for years and Nancy loves her back. She's finally gathered the courage to ask her out and Nancy said yes. She didn't hate her, didn't shun her, didn't find her disgusting or sick - she loved her back. And for the first time in her life, Robin feels a little bit hopeful for her future - she's loveable and loved and she's not doomed to life alone as her friends move on and marry and have kids. She has someone who understands this fear and horror and happiness in a way no one but another girl like her could, and she thought... she thought Steve would be happy for her. She finally found love.

But Steve is just offended that she'd choose hoes over bros or whatever.

[lycanpunk666]

Okay so like. In general I think it's good to have multiple interpretations of how a certain plot point went if it's not explicit-- As I think that fandom hive mind is bad and can get really boring. However, I think that in general there's a difference between "multiple interesting implications of a specific ending" and "failure to read between the lines" (though this is generally pretty subjective considering stories in general all have to do with personal perception). On the second note this isn't necessarily about interpreting a story 'wrong' this is more about failure to grasp an author's intention about a scene just because it's not spoon-fed. I'm talking in circles and being overly neutral here but generally speaking, for the sake of argument, I like to treat fiction as having two parts to it that I separate (similar to how I separate what is my favorite thing from what I think is the best): How I perceive what the "real" story is/what is actually occurring entirely based on canon events and deducted subtext (I think a lot of samgirl Tumblr does this in the supernatural fandom, as an example), vs personal expansions/wider guesses based on what I think SHOULD be happening-- which might just get a bit more prevalent in my mind if I just. Think an author is making a really stupid writing decision (I do this constantly when talking about shows like disventure camp) This post is more about open discussion and I don't want to make it seem like I'm judging people

[goldentigerfestival]

Yuri's dialogue (JP) is so fascinating to study, like... the repetitive use of certain words/phrases that others use sparingly but he uses constantly. the way it feels like his vocabulary is more expansive than what he uses, but he defaults to a "comfort" level of speech. the way it mixes in with his sort of "street talk" words and the sheer level of informality. the way his "street talk" phrasing is contrasted by the tone of his voice (on that note, people I know who also know JP are also very endeared by these aspects of him so I KNOW IT'S NOT JUST ME!!!).

'cause the thing is, he uses phrases that yeah, other people do use, but he uses a handful over and over and over (contrast to other characters' sparing use of repetition). it's actually... really refreshing? it sounds more relatable and less "video game/anime/JRPG/RPG" writing or something, idk. like closer to how a real person would speak.

I do my best in my translations not to make things sound too stiff across the board, but Yuri makes it so easy. it's why I'm so interested in translating all his lines in Vesperia, like... the actual, original tone for him with his original wording because it's smth Eng only players don't get to experience ('cause even if you listen with JP audio, if you don't know the language, ofc you're gonna miss out on context. it's nobody's fault for not knowing, just... they unfortunately miss out). the thing is, there are a lot of times when the lines in and of themselves are not contextually incorrect in the English ver (usually the situation for smaller scenes, because they altered the text outright for more important stuff which was the stuff that originally set me off, but there were also plenty of cases of just vocal tone shifting with the correct context that still gave off the wrong impression), but Yuri's tone is shifted away from the original in Eng even though it's completely and perfectly translatable.

I am by no means about to translate the entire game because let's face it, I really don't care that much for Vesperia on the whole. I'm kinda stuck with it because Yuri's there lo and behold I actually am WAY more engaged in his stories in Rays, Link and Asteria because it's an amazing character put into circumstances where he actually gets to shine and feels more alive, which Vesperia did not provide nearly as well with its very disjointed story. also, Tales gachas have banger stories that are arguably better than the mainline games, and they regularly make Yuri a very central character to the gachas. Crestoria was also about to do it until they pulled the plug on that game and I'm pretty confident something interesting has been lost to the world. also I just generally don't have the energy or motivation to do that, so... I'll only be focusing on Yuri's lines, especially because his stuff is where the bulk of the messing around was. he's just insanely fun to translate for and I love burying myself head first into his speech.

will I actually finish this project? dunno. will I get around to posting it? whatever I get done (so all of it if I complete it), and if I decide to call it quits then I'll post what I have at the time I decide that. will it take a long time? probably, but I can always mention stuff along the way...

[moe-broey]

.................... Guess who gave himself a shit ass haircut and got haunted by another shaggy haired blonde about it.

[adore-gregor]

soooo

[longagoitwastuesday]

Kevin Kline was excellent though, so good in comparison to everyone else (*coughs* Roxane *coughs*) that at a certain point (*coughs* Roxane in the balcony *coughs*) he seemed to have fallen into this production from a different one with better actors. Despite the choice of making his Cyrano overly funny, which I imagine wasn't Kline's or not entirely given everyone in the play was trying to be funny (Roxane was ridiculously exaggerated, but this Le Bret in particular made no sense as a character imo?), I quite liked his performance.

[a9saga]

i don't disagree with ian terry's win.

[polaraaace]

8 irl weeks of RPing as Harrison have awakened a level of rage and frustration I thought Squidboy had permanently soothed out of me