#I'm acting like everything is normal and okay and it's killing me
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billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating
it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It
it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this
#might note hardly limited to billions; the series doing bog standard suffocatingly common [Being Normal can't be abusive] replication#nor is their Unaware Replication Of [it can't be ableist if i'm not reacting to ppl who walked up & said Hi I'm Autistic]#well abuse & traumatic treatment can't be Everywhere. like how umm sexism can't be everywhere. neither can white supremacy. ableism. cmon.#oh please not everything can be political. Just Be Normal. which makes it ''apolitical.''#now we all agree abuse can't ever be made palatable; insulated; easy. now ppl doing it never said it wasn't That bad.#if they did they must have been maliciously lying. whereas when i say it can't have been That bad; i mean it :)#and if that person says it was; well they must be lying. or clueless. or a pussy. or scheming to destroy me. Must be. Gotta#& we wouldn't be able to look around & see contexts of imbalance. who's vulnerable. who's life gets smaller. who's supported automatically#who's supported if someone even posits they May have done anything like No; Impossible; now instantly definitely get their ass#you can just go on all day about the ''um i'm just the Realistic Normality vessel'' arguments made boundlessly in bad faith#being like ohh Everyday Interactions / ''Normal'' Semi/Public Situations Can't Be Uncomfortable Imbalanced Dangerous Abusive....#if they are that must be So Rare & created only by Rare Bad Actors with Malicious Mens Rea (itself a great concept to make any act Okay)#something framed as Extreme must be an outlier. could never be part of everyone's everyday life & some much more than others.#could never be what's defined as Normal (associated with Superiority) like how Abuse can't be shit i'd think of as Normal#like how damn if ya don't just wanna kill the autistic coworker and everyone agrees & would clap & cheer if you did And That's Great#you'd have to feel Weird / Abnormal about it! b/c Weirdness & Abnormality is what's bad!#like the autism or the cptsd (the Real abuse can only be: inflicting the existence of a victim's survival skills on Superior Normals)#or whatever else gets pathologized with Polite ABA arguments about how it's not ''social skills'' so hide it or suffer the consequences#winston billions#having that perspective too like oh [our blessed successful conformity] [their barbaric xyz Issues]#if the best you can argue for or against smthing is as Normal or Weird respectively like. no. what's behind that door#the authority figure/s who must be supported lest this all crumble. vs the ruinerrrrrr#billions recognizing winston & tuk the next most shitted on would probably get along & have a mutually supportive friendship#billions also recognizing that mutual support better not be Allowed to get that far. lest this all crumble#like look see we Knew it. we knew the bottom tier ppl who don't really belong in the group who we bully & scapegoat are Always Ruining It.
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「 ✦ How Would The Slytherin boys React After you tell them you’re pregnant:✦ 」
[Mattheo Riddle-Theodore Nott-Lorenzo Berkshire-Draco Malfy-Tom Riddle]
•Mattheo Riddle
1.Silence: You blurt out the news, a nervous flutter in your chest. Mattheo stares at you, processing the information. Don't panic! This is his initial shock absorbing mode.
2. More Silence: You try again. Still, silence. Don't take it personally; his mind is racing a million miles a minute.
3. The Disappearance Act: By evening, Mattheo might be MIA. Don't fret! This is probably him needing some space to grapple with the news. (Don't chase him to Knockturn Alley, though.)
4. Awkward Return: When he finally returns, you launch into a "what-are-we-going-to-do" speech. But wait! He cuts you off...
5. "Hey, it's okay” : Mattheo might surprise you with a calm demeanor. This doesn't mean he isn't nervous, but he's trying to reassure you (and maybe himself).
6. "I want it too." : Prepare for a confession! Mattheo, the king of nonchalance, might admit he wants this, with you. This might be followed by an apology for his earlier silence."Sorry, I was just shocked earlier. Shouldn't have reacted that way."
7. Confusion Reigns: "You're not mad?" you finally manage to ask, a sliver of doubt lingering.He might confess he's clueless about the whole "No," he says, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips. "It's just... I never thought about this stuff. Family, kids, the whole shebang. But if I'm gonna do it, I want it to be with you." _Cue the tiny butterflies in your stomach._
8. "But with you.":He might clarify that while the whole baby thing is new, having it with you? That's something he can do.
9. Protectiveness Unleashed: Expect a shift in Mattheo. He might become fiercely protective of you and the little one on the way. (Just don't tell him it's "nesting" if he starts building a barricade around your house.),Mattheo will hover over you, insisting you take prenatal vitamins and threatening to glare down any stranger who bumps into you. It's annoyingly sweet.
10.The (Slight) Freak Out (Because It's Mattheo): Don't get too comfortable yet. There will be moments of panic. Mattheo might blurt out something about not knowing the first thing about raising a kid, or how motorbikes suddenly seem like a terrible idea. Just remind him that you're in this together, crazy as it may be.
•Theodore Nott
1. Reality Check?: Theo might blurt out, "Are you sure?" It's not doubt about your love, but the sheer unexpectedness of it all. Breathe, and calmly confirm with that positive blood test result.
2. Freak-Out Time: Picture a cartoon character with smoke billowing from their ears. That might be Theo, internally freaking out. Don't worry, it's normal (though maybe not that dramatic).
3. Parental Apocalypse?: "Your dad will kill me!" Theo might shriek, envisioning a future father-in-law wielding a shotgun.
4. Waterworks Warning: Tears might well up in your eyes, a mix of emotions swirling. He will put everything beside and try to comfort you.
5. Protective Streak: Expect a dramatic shift. Theo, the notorious rule-breaker, might turn into a fierce protector, ready to shield you from any and all perceived threats.
6. Reassurance Renaissance: He'll rush to your side, muttering reassurances like "Hey, I'm here" and "I'll be here every step of the way." "I might be freaking out internally, but I'm not going anywhere."
7. "We" is the New Word: The "me" might temporarily disappear, replaced by a constant "we." He might start talking about "our baby" and "what we need to do.".
8. Fear is a Two-Way Street: Theo might confess he's scared too. Don't be surprised; fatherhood is a big leap for anyone. Reassure him you're in this together.
9. Facing the Future, Together: Theo might not be known for responsibility, but this news could be a turning point. He might surprise you with his determination to navigate this journey with you.
10.A (Slightly Chaotic) New Chapter: Yes, there will be challenges. But with Theo by your side, even the most chaotic moments of pregnancy and parenthood can turn into an unforgettable adventure (well, maybe not all the diaper changes).
•Lorenzo Berkshire
1. Record Scratch Moment: "Excuse me, what?" Lorenzo might look like a record player with a skipped track. Don't worry, the information overload will clear soon.
2. Baby Talk Confusion: He might blurt out, "Pregnant? Like...with a baby, like a real baby ?"
5. The F-Bomb Symphony: Brace yourself for a chorus of "Oh fuck!" Lorenzo might panic a bit, but hey, at least he acknowledges the reality.
6. Apology Avalanche: Prepare for a barrage of "I'm so sorry for putting a baby on you." It's not guilt-tripping, just Lorenzo's awkward way of expressing concern.
7. Decision Time: He might cut through the tension with a simple, "Okay, what do we do?" Don't be fooled by his bluntness; he's ready to face this together. He might surprise you with a genuine, "I want it. Do you?" Expect a hint of nervousness, but mostly a determination to be a part of this.
8. Family Gathering Fiasco: Prepare for a potential meltdown when it comes to telling your families. He might blurt out, "I'm pregnant!" before you can correct him. Just take a deep breath and handle the announcement yourself later.
9. Overprotective Overload: Expect Lorenzo to morph into your personal bubble wrap. Lifting a box? Forget it. Climbing stairs? Hold on, he's got you. You might need to remind him you're not made of glass .
10. Google Goes Dad Mode: One night, you might catch him researching "how to take care of a pregnant woman" , “ How to be a good dad “ on his phone. Aww, just don’t cry you will freak him out again.
•Draco Malfy
1. Denial is a River in Egypt: His first response? "You're lying." Don't panic. This is classic Draco, clinging to disbelief. Prepare to show him the pregnancy test, the blood test… anything to pierce his denial bubble.
2."Look Away, Not At It!": He might stubbornly refuse to even glance at the evidence. Don't take it personally; it's his defense mechanism malfunctioning.
3. Accusatory Tirade: Brace yourself for a verbal explosion. He might accuse you of lying, of trapping him, of using his family name. Remember, fear often masquerades as anger in Draco's world.
4. Protection Spells on His Pants?: He might insist he used every protection under the sun. Don't get into a magical contraception debate. Just try to explain accidents happen.
5. The Ejector Seat Option: Draco might bluntly tell you to leave. It's a knee-jerk reaction, not a reflection of his true feelings (hopefully!).
6. Standing Your Ground: Here comes the hard part. You tell him you're keeping the baby, with or without him. This might be the first crack in his emotional armor.
7. A Continent Away From Chaos: Fearing his reaction and the uncertainty of it all, you flee to another country. Girl, we feel you! But remember, you're not alone in this.
8. A Connection You Can't Deny: Despite the fear, you feel a powerful bond with the tiny life growing inside you. This little one deserves a chance, and you vow to protect them.
9. The Redemption Knocks: Two months later, a frantic pounding on your door jolts you awake. You open it to find a desperate Draco, his face etched with worry.
10. A Malfoy Regret-Fest: He confesses he searched everywhere for you, regret gnawing at him. When he learns you fled, the dam breaks. He apologizes profusely, begging you to tell him you kept the baby.
A Second Chance, Malfoy Style:
Relief washes over you as you nod, tears welling up. He wipes them away, muttering, "It's still ours. I'm so sorry. I'll never hurt you or our baby again." A genuine plea hangs in his voice.
“ Do you still love me?“ A shaky nod escapes your lips. He pleads for forgiveness, for a chance to be part of this family he never knew he craved.
This might be the start of a rocky but redemptive journey for both of you. Draco, beneath his icy exterior, might surprise you with his capacity for love and growth. Just remember, keep a communication charm handy – navigating fatherhood with Draco will likely be an… interesting adventure.
•Tom Riddle
1. The Stoic Facade: Don't be surprised if Tom remains eerily calm. His usual mask of control might slip not an inch, leaving you wondering what's going on behind those eyes.
2. Tears: A flood of emotions might be coursing through you, but Tom? His reaction might be a chilling calmness. This doesn't mean he's unfeeling, just that he processes things differently.
3. Misinterpreting Your Distress: Seeing you cry, Tom might jump to a chilling conclusion. "Is having a baby with me that terrifying?" Here comes the part where you clarify.
4. Guilt by Association: A quick "No, no!" will hopefully ease his worry. But then you blurt out your fear – you're both too young.
5. Age is Irrelevant: Tom operates on a different timeline. Age is just a number, and power? That's the real currency. He might say, "It's not about age, it's about power."
6. Power Trip for Three?: Brace yourself for a Tom Riddle monologue about the immense power your child could possess. He might see it as an extension of his own ambitions, a prodigy groomed for greatness.Don't be afraid to voice your anxieties. When you say, "Tom, I don't want my baby to be part of your plans," he might actually listen.
6. A Promise, Riddle-Style: “I promise you, I will keep them safe. I will keep you safe." But remember, Tom's definition of "safe" might not align with yours. Stay frosty.
7. Your Fears Take Center Stage: Tears welling up again? This might be the moment it dawns on Tom that you're not thrilled about the power angle. He might try to reassure you, but...
8. Promises with a Price: Tom doesn't give anything without expecting something in return. Be prepared for him to outline his expectations for your role in his grand plan.
9. A Tug-of-War for the Future: This is where things get interesting. Do you submit to his vision, or do you fight for a different future for your child? The choice is yours.
10. A Dance with Darkness: Having a child with Tom Riddle is a gamble. He might be a captivating presence, but remember, his path is paved with darkness. Are you willing to walk it with him?
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆��⋆
#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin boys x you#fluff imagines#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott imagine#lorenzo berkshire imagine#theodore nott masterlist#mattheo riddle imagines#mattheo riddle smut#mattheo riddle#regulus black masterlist#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy imagine#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle masterlist#mattheo riddle angst#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheoriddle#mattheo riddle imagine#tom riddle x you#tom riddle imagine#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle imagines#tom riddle#regulus black x y/n#slytherin boys react#slytherin headcanons
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The First Meet Self-Aware!Xavier
Sometimes maybe you're just the Juliet to his Romeo. Nothing more than a tragic love story, but what if you could rewrite the stars? pt. 1 here A/N: Before you fight me just read okay? Kisses 💋
Self-Aware!Xavier who's been blinding you with your screen brightness lately “Since when can you do that?” “I was testing the limits of my evol recently and figured it out cool right?” “Yes very cool but please stop blinding me it hurts”
It only took asking once for Xavier to stop adjusting your screen brightness. However he has been acting strange. It feels like he's hiding something; not necessarily something he can't tell you about more like something doesn't want to tell you about. Checking the app turned into a more frequent occurrence when he started disappearing constantly. You would often open the app to find the home screen cafe empty.
“Xavier!” the screen flashes and you see him appear with that same soft smile directed right at you “I’m here what do you need?” you stared at him unsure if you should accuse him of anything due to his strange actions lately. You didn't want to argue with him so you pushed your feelings down and sighed “Nothing just wondered where you went”
“I’m right here I'll always be here” He moved closer to the screen to get a better look at your eyes. “Is that all you were wondering?” You couldn't help, but sigh heavily as your curiosity got the best of you. “What have you been doing lately?” Stupid. Stupid. You mentally kicked yourself as the words rolled off your tongue before you could stop them. Why are you so jealous that he might be with in-game MC? It’s not like you can actually be with him. “Like I told you before I've been testing my evol” it still felt like he was hiding something under that soft gaze of his. You narrowed your eyes at hime “Xav if you want to spend more time with MC you don’t need to hide it from me” you could feel that terrible lump forming in your throat as reality set in that no matter how much you loved him; he’s not yours and never will be. Before he could answer you shook your head willing your tears to stay at bay “I have to go I'll be back later” you closed the app right as his mouth opened to say something.
You stopped opening the app after that. You thought that maybe if you stayed away long enough things would go back to normal and he wouldn’t be able to talk to you anymore. How do you grieve someone who doesn’t exist?
1 week later....
Since that conversation you’re not sure if you’ve become more sensitive to light or if you just happen to keep getting glares in your eyes because you’re just unlucky enough to be right where one can shine right in your eyes. You kept the lights in your house low or even just off to keep the light from blinding you. These constant blinding flashes of light were killing your head so you started wearing sunglasses everywhere and even using the walls to be your guide around your place because it was easier to just walk around in the dark.
Tonight was different though as you made your way to your bedroom your head was fuzzy along with your vision “I need to go to the eye doctor my vision may be getting worse” staggering to your bed you fell face first onto your bed and passed out. Your body felt weightless as if you were floating on a cloud. Your eyes fluttered open to see an expanse of stars and milky ways as far as the eye can see. “Y/N”
There was a voice, but it sounded as if it was underwater. “Y/N?” Words failed you as you tried to answer “I'm…. tired…..” you words were slurred and your eyelids were heavy. “Let’s go home together” the voice was much clearer now. “Xav….ier?” succumbing to the drowsiness that had you in a vice grip, your head fell back as everything went dark.
You jolted awake only to immediately be blinded by the sun shining in through the window. “At least it didn't give me a headache this time” You mumbled to yourself as you yawned into a big stretch. Your vision was clear again a stark contrast from what you fell asleep with. You started to take in your surroundings taking note that this wasn’t your room “Am I lucid dreaming?”
“The sun is too bright turn it off” a groggy voice whined next to you. Without thinking you kicked your leg out connecting directly with the strangers crotch who audibly groaned in pain. You sprinted out of the room only to realize you had no clue where you were. Rustling could be heard from the bedroom so there was no time to waste as long as you made it out of here as quick as possible. Freedom was within reach as you came up on the front door or at least you hoped it was the front door; only to be grabbed by your forearm and yanked back.
“I will scream bloody murder!” You yelled as you fought against this persons iron grip. “It’s me! Y/N it’s me open your eyes” not even realizing you were already screaming bloody murder with your eyes closed ; you opened them to see those deep blue eyes you’d dreamt about. “Xavier? Am I hallucinating?” You pulled your arm again and Xavier let go this time. You rapidly scanned the room and noticed this place looked exactly how it did in the game “There’s no way i’m standing in your apartment right now” You pinched the back of your hand and winced in pain.
Xavier rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded “Welcome to my home” you circled him skeptically eyeing him up and down. “Explain yourself”
“I was testing if I could manipulate the light in your world and it turned out that I could” That’s when it hit you that it was Xavier who’d been blinding you with light. You weren’t sure if you were pissed or flattered that he was trying to get your attention while you were ignoring him. No he literally made your life a living hell with that of course you were pissed. You took deep breaths as you tried to gather your thoughts. “So it was you that kept blinding me Xavier that gave me such insane headaches why would you do that?” You threw your arms up in exasperation as you began to pace. “I wanted your attention and you wouldn’t talk to me” He approached you with careful steps as you backed up at the same time. All those repressed feelings you had for the last week quickly surfaced just from looking at him. His face became blurry as your eyes filled with tears; just as you went to turn away you bumped into the kitchen counter. You stumbled to a stop as Xavier trapped you between himself and the counter. “Why did you leave me?” His lips pressed together in a thin line and you could tell he was trying to keep himself calm as well.
“Because we can’t be together Xav….” Your voice cut off as you choked up trying to keep your tears from falling. “Why not I'm right here” he had a point, but you don’t belong here; this isn’t your home and Xavier already has someone he was literally made to be with. “I can’t stay here Xav I can’t come between you and-” You yelped as he lifted you onto the counter and slotted himself between your soft thighs that were still bare from going to bed in a large t-shirt and spandex shorts. “I cut through time, space and reality to have you in front of me” His hands lingered on your thighs softly drawing circles with his thumbs. "Do you truly believe I want anyone other than you?" You went slack-jawed at his confession of how he managed to bring you here “You what?”
He dropped his head and exhaled a raspy chuckle, but there was no amusement in it “I was so lost when you stopped coming to see me I thought I was losing my mind” This man really did the impossible to get to you; there’s no way you could ever tell a single soul about this or you’ll be thrown head first into a mental asylum. The feeling of Xavier’s hand on your cheek pulled you from your spiraling thoughts. He gently wiped away a stray tear that you hadn’t even realized escaped. “You’re breathtaking in person” The blue in his irises was damn near non-existent as he studied your face almost as if he was trying to permanently burn the image into his mind. His stare was so intense it was like he couldn’t take his eyes off of you or you’d disappear.
You softly pushed his shoulder you try and get some distance because it felt like you couldn’t breathe with him this close. “Xavier please….” Your voice trailed off into nothing, but a breathy whisper. You didn’t know what you were asking him for; words seemed to be escaping you. His fingers wrapped around your wrist and held it next to your head as he leaned in closer. Your lips parted as your breath became heavy and his gaze immediately dropped to your lips. “Please what?”
Fuck it.
You wriggled your wrist free and grabbed him by the back of his neck slamming your lips onto his. Xavier wasted no time kissing you back, his arms wrapping about your waist pulling you tight against his toned body. Xavier kissed you like a man starved the way he parted your lips to allow his tongue in along with the quick nips and sucks to your bottom lip your mind was going fuzzy as you fell into him with reckless abandon. You drew back gasping for air and Xavier chased your lips pulling you back into a heated makeout session. Before you fell back under his spell you broke away and pressed your fingertips to his lips when he tried to chase you again. His breath was ragged and you could see his rapid pulse fluttering on his neck. Seeing him completely flushed with red cheeks and hot ears gave you butterflies “We should slow down we just met” You teased with a giggle. Xavier rolled his eyes and kissed your nose as he took a step back. You didn’t miss how he quickly adjusted his pants tucking himself into his waistband. “I’m sure you have many questions go ahead I'll answer all of them truthfully”
#xavier salads#love and deepspace#lnds xavier#l&ds xavier#xavier lads#love and deepspace xavier#xavier fluff#lads xavier#xavier x reader#xavier love and deepspace#xavier x you#xavier angst#nikaaaaimagine
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love crushed - cloud x reader
summary: cloud can't sleep with you on his mind, unable to accept his feelings. until eventually you both get caught unable to sleep. confessions occur, seggs happens perchance.
tw: seggs, quite rough seggs
He finally gave up. After hours of writhing in his hotel room, trying to convince himself over and over again, he knew he wasn’t winning. You had been circulating his mind, doing laps, your face crossing his vision every second. Continuously recalling your cut-up face today, panting, exhausted, the way his heart failed at the sight of you. You had no hesitation when it came to saving anyone, even at the expense of yourself.
He groaned, dragging himself out of bed to get fresh air on the balcony. He dragged his hands down his face as he leaned against the railings, looking over Junon. He was being such a fucking girl about this, really. Just a simple crush and it was like he was 14 years old again, getting sweaty hands at the mere thought of you, and yet he still didn't want to accept it, what was right in front of him.
Cloud sighed deeply, resting his elbows against the railings and clasping his hands together. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn't be away from you. Even if you didn’t return his feelings, it wasn't going to stop him, no way in hell, he just needed you by his side, sitting in that bed he was already thinking about knocking on your door just to talk to you and see if you were still okay from that fight that happened hours ago.
"I don't like her. I'm just not used to having new friends," he told himself, the wind ruffling his hair and his heart pounding at the thought of you, eventually shaking his head, that didn't feel right. He couldn't even deny it anymore. "...It's just a crush, I'll get over it."
The lie tasted bitter on his tongue.
Cloud was already heading to your room, his hand raised to knock on the door before he realised what he was doing. He cursed himself, dropping his arm back down to his side. This was fucking ridiculous, what was he doing? Cloud didn't even realise the way he was acting, but this was unlike him. Normally, he was cool and collected, always had been, but you, you turned his world upside down and he had no idea how to handle it.
"Why am I doing this?" He thinks, softly leaning his head against the door. "She's probably sleeping, why are you disturbing her for this stupid shit?" He asked himself, turning around and walking down the hall towards the elevator. He pressed the button, waiting as he looked back at your door. And you stepped out, half asleep and still in your pajamas, it was so dark you didn't even see Cloud at the end of the hallway.
You shuffled down the hallway. Your head was killing you, all those thoughts that had been swarming you for the past few hours, and now you had a headache. It was a horrible, horrible, night. You needed to go see Aerith to see if she had any healing spells, or Tifa to see if she had any medication, maybe you could go out and clear your head.
You bumped straight into Cloud's chest while you were rubbing your eyes.
"Y/n?"
"Cloud?"
"What are you doing up? Are you okay?"
"I could ask you the same thing. Not trying to sneak out on us are you?" You say, looking up at him, squinting. The hallway lights were bright and you couldn't see his expression properly.
"Just taking a walk."
"Oh my god, that's great. Can I join you?"
"Sure. Everything okay?"
"Yeah," you sigh, "I just couldn't sleep, I've got a lot of things on my mind."
"I know what that's like."
"You couldn't sleep either, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Wanna talk about it?" You ask, walking next to him as you both go downstairs.
"Not really." You smiled.
"You're never going to open up to me, are you? It's nice to get things off your chest, you know. I'm a great listener."
"You're also so nosy."
"Only for hot, mysterious guys." You giggle, poking him in the chest. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head and trying not to smile, but you notice his mouth twitching and the tips of his ears going red. "Where are we going, by the way?"
"Down on the beach, unless you want to go somewhere else?"
"No, it's fine. I love the beach."
"You'll freeze."
"I won't."
"You're still wearing your PJs."
"I don't need a lecture, Cloud."
"Well it's my problem if you get sick, isn't it?"
"That's cute. Assuming the responsibility of taking care of me."
"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"
"Touche."
You both walked in silence to the beach, the breeze was warm and the stars were shining bright in the sky. The waves were crashing on the shore, the smell of the ocean was filling the air, and Cloud was beside you.
"What's on your mind?" He asked.
"Hit my head when we were fighting earlier, had a headache. And just thinking about some stupid shit that happened years ago, it's so annoying when you can't get things out of your head and you get a headache."
"I get it. I feel the same way. Sometimes it feels like a million things are happening and all at once."
"Exactly."
You were quiet for a moment, listening to the ocean and feeling the soft sand beneath your feet. He turned to face you while you were looking over the water, moonlight softly reflecting in your eyes, lighting up your face. Breathtaking. Although brutally reminded of earlier as his eyes dropped down to the cut on your cheek, the gash on your arm.
"I’m sorry that I couldn't get to you quick enough earlier."
"It's fine, you don’t have to protect me. Just ended up with a concussion."
"Why do you always get yourself hurt for other people?" You laughed.
"I couldn't let Tifa get hurt, could I? She deserves princess treatment. You would know, you have a crush on her, don't you?"
"What?" Cloud choked.
"Knowing a girl that pretty since you were kids? Sounds like a great love story." You were genuinely curious, not wanting to be a homewrecker or get the wrong idea from him at any point. You could get the vibe that she liked him too, that they were flirting sometimes.
"Tifa is my best friend, I've known her for years."
"You guys were arguing like a couple in Nice. Or is it a relationship?"
"We're childhood friends."
"That's not what I asked, Cloud."
"No, it’s not.”
"What about Aerith?"
"Aerith is like my sister."
"Do you have a crush on her then? Is that why you always get flustered around her?"
"Why does it matter? You've got a thing for Reno, don't you?" You burst out laughing, he couldn't help but smile watching you die for a minute straight, until you could feel abs coming through. But he genuinely wanted a straight answer. "Don't you?"
"No?" You snorted.
"Leslie or Tseng?"
"Oh my God, Cloud. You're going to kill me." You laughed. "What makes you think that?"
"You kept calling them hot. The way you look at both of them too. "
"The way I look at him? Are you jealous?" You tease.
"Of course not." He said sternly.
"Why are you getting so defensive, Strife?" You smirk.
"I'm not."
"Sounds like jealousy to me."
"Why would I get jealous?"
"Are you sure you're not jealous, Cloudy? You're getting a bit worked up."
"Y/n..." He mutterest annoyedly.
"You're not denying it."
"What's there to deny? ...Oh, come on. I saw the way you looked at Reno."
"Reno's a pain in the ass. An attractive pain in the ass. But I don't like him." Thank God, he thinks. "What about you then? Aerith or Tifa?"
"No."
"No to both of them?"
"Why are you surprised?"
"Because they're gorgeous! Are you gay?!"
"No. I'm just... not attracted to them. That's all."
"Ok so... not gay, not attracted to Tifa or Aerith." You list. "You have to like someone."
"Who do you like thetn?" I’m not ready for an unrequited confession, you think.
"I asked first."
"Are you 5?"
"We're literally sitting here talking about crushes and you're dodging the question. You’re the five-year-old."
"This is ridiculous."
"Who is it?"
"Are we really going to do this here?"
"Please."
"I like you." Cloud says, finally looking at you. You freeze, blinking a couple of times. His heart sinks to his stomach, knowing he should’ve expected rejection and feeling like a fucking idiot.
"What?"
"You heard me."
"Say it again."
"I like you, Y/n. What? Have I ruined everything?" One more butterfly and you would've flown away.
"You don't." You say, trying to confirm it.
"Why is that so hard to believe?"
"If you're being serious I'm going to do something really stupid."
"Wha-" You grabbed the collar of his vest, pushing his face toward you, lips connecting. His hands find your waist quickly, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. Your hands snake around his neck, running through his hair, his hand cupping your cheek, thumb stroking it. He pulls away, biting your bottom lip, picking your hips to wrap your legs around his waist, panting heavily and taken shocked.
"You have no idea how long it took for me to come to terms with the fact I like you."
“I can’t believe it either.” You smile, kissing him again. “I bagged Cloud Strife.”
“And I bagged you.”
"Let’s get back to the hotel. It’s cold.”
“Almost like I said. And who’s going to be the one taking care of you?”
“It’s almost like I wanted you to warm me up.” You smiled.
…
He quickly had you against the door the second you got in, kissing down your neck feverishly. It was the only thing he could do after you had been relentlessly going through his mind all week. He wanted nothing more than to feel every inch of you.
"Cloud," you moan, pulling at his vest and throwing it off of him.
"What?" He breathes, his hand reaching the back of your neck to pull you into another kiss.
"Do you know how hot you are?"
"Do you know how hot you are? Why the hell are you not naked yet?" He mumbles into your mouth, ripping your shirt off.
"Fuck." You gasp, as his lips travel down your chest, unclipping your bra. "Couldn't even wait to get onto the bed? Ah-!" His nimble fingers came to your breast, rolling the bud, his mouth sucking in your other nipple, tongue swirling around it. You grip onto his hair, your body burning, twitching. He lifts his head, his lips capturing yours again.
"You're beautiful."
"You're making me blush." You breathe, as his finger catches in your waistband, moving slowly.
“It looks good on you."
"Hurry up, please,"
"Begging already?"
"You've had me waiting long enough, I swear-" He presses his lips against yours again, silencing you.
"Patience."
"I can’t." You mutter as he pulls off your shorts and undergarments, bringing his face down, arms wrapped around your thighs to prop you up against the wall.
"Please, Cloud."
"God, I love it when you beg. You have no idea what it does to me." He groans, taking in what is in front of him.
"Fucking do something about it." You say frustratedly, bucking your hips forward to prompt any kind of contact.
"Didn't expect you to be such a brat." He nudges his nose against your clit, making your thighs squeeze, although forced back open by his arms.
"Cloud!"
He licks a long stripe down your pussy, his tongue slipping in. His tongue flicks, making you arch as you whisper his name over and over.
"Cloud, fuck, Cloud,"
"So pretty," he says, muffled.
"More, please."
He takes your clit into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it, his arms holding you up as you start to shake. His tongue works its way down, sliding in and out, nose pressed deeply into your sensitive bud. It didn't take you long to feel yourself build up to your finish.
"I'm close." You whimper, he feels your thighs tighten, letting your thighs squeeze his head and hang your legs over your shoulder.
"Come on, baby."
You moan as your climax reaches, eyes rolling back, gripping his hair tightly. Your legs begin to twitch, his head lifting up.
"So perfect for me." He hums, standing up, held up by your ass as he brings your face up for a kiss. He brings you over to lie on his bed. He kisses down your body, making you whine.
"What about you?" You ask.
"What about me?"
"Don't you want to finish?"
"You want me to fuck you?"
"God, yes."
"Are you sure you can handle it, princess?" He asks, undoing his trousers and removing the rest of his clothes. “How do you want it?”
"However you want."
"I asked how you wanted it, Y/n.”
"I'm indecisive, I just need you. Do whatever you want, please."
"You sure you're not going to regret that? I won't hold back." He says, kicking off his trousers. You can see the bulge through his boxers, making your heart stop for a minute. "Having second thoughts?"
"That's a lot for my first time."
"You're a virgin?"
"I don't exactly have time for boyfriends when I move all over the place."
"I'll be gentle then."
"I thought you said you weren't holding back." You sit up, watching him as he pulls it out, and kicks away his boxers too. Speechless.
"Only if you had a deathwish." He teases.
"Can I suck it?"
"Only if you promise not to bite."
"No promises."
He smiles, stroking his cock a couple of times, standing over you. He lets your hand wrap around it, guiding you to his tip. You take him in your mouth, his hand tangling itself in your hair, gently guiding himself down your throat.
"You're so pretty." He groans. You swirl your tongue, making him buck his hips slightly, a moan escaping his lips. You hum, sending vibrations down his dick, his grip tightening in your hair.
"Faster," he pleads, thrusting into your mouth, your eyes watering as he goes deeper. "Fuck,"
He pulls out, you lick a long strip down the underside, sucking the tip. You can taste the precum as you go back to deepthroating him as far as you can manage until you feel his balls tighten.
"God, I could cum in your mouth right now."
You can feel him getting close, his grip starts to tighten. He pulls you away by your hair.
"I was going to let you finish me, but I want to hear you scream." He pushes you back down onto the bed, spreading your legs wide open. You can feel the heat radiating off of his dick, as it rests on your pelvis. "You still want this?"
"Yes, Cloud. Please, please."
"Needy thing." He says, leaning down to peck your lips. He swirls a finger around your clit, before pushing the tip against it, slowly running it up and down. He watches the way your face contorts in pleasure, as you grab the pillow underneath your head. He lines himself up, changing his mind at the last second with a grin, rubbing it up between your lips again.
"Stop teasing me,"
"It's so fun to watch your squirm,"
"I'll finish myself off."
"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that if I'm holding you down?" He grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head.
"I can't wait any longer, please."
"Since you're begging so nicely."
"God, finally." He leans over again, kissing you one more time before lining himself up. Slowly, pushing the tip in, and letting you adjust to the stretch as he stayed there for a minute. He groaned, it was already so tight, hot, wet.
"Fuck... So tight." He mutters, thrusting the tip in. "You okay?"
"Yeah." You twitch around him, and he feels it. He pushes in slowly, inch by inch. His cock filling you, the stretch getting wider, as he slides in completely, the inside of you full.
"Ah- Fuck."
"Want me to stop?" You shake your head. He bites down on his bottom lip. "God you feel so good." Slowly, he pulls out, the head catching on the edge, and pushes in again. The pace stays slow for a while, his hand holding your wrists above your head.
"Taking me so good." He moans, kissing your neck again. You whimper, any discomfort starting to melt away, pleasure taking over.
"Harder, Cloud."
He complies, snapping his hips into you, the pace slowly picking up. You cry out and his hand comes off your wrists to clamp around your mouth before you woke up everyone else, his thrusts turning into a fast and rough pace, the sound of skin slapping on skin echoing through the room. His breath was hot on your neck, panting.
"You want it rough?"
"God, please, yes." He pulls out suddenly, flipping you over onto your chest, your ass hanging in the air.
His hand came to your hip, slamming back into you, grabbing a handful of hair and yanking it back, forcing your back to arch. His pace was brutal, his hand leaving your hip, coming to the small of your back, holding you in that position. The room filled with nothing but the sound of his balls hitting your clit, the obscene wet noise of his cock slipping in and out. You bury your face into the pillow, muffling the noises spilling out of your mouth.
"God, you take my cock so well. Such a good girl." He groans. His pace begins to stagger, his dick twitching inside you. "Can't believe I had to wait this long for you."
He pulls your head back, pressing his chest against your back. He kisses and sucks at the skin of your neck, his hips snapping against your ass, the sound of the headboard knocking against the wall. His hand comes back down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles, and it was overwhelming. You felt tears form in the corner of your eyes.
"I'm so close."
"Me too."
"Come on, y/n, cum on my cock." His hips snapped again, and you couldn't hold back anymore. The knot in your stomach released, your legs shaking.
"Fuck." He groans, his hips stuttering and his hand coming down to grip your ass, feeling the convulsions of your body around his dick. "I'm going to cum inside."
"Please."
"You want it?"
"Uh-huh."
He buries himself inside, a guttural groan escaping his throat, the heat of his cum filling you up, twitching, his thrusts slowing, riding out his orgasm. His arms wrapped around your body, keeping you pressed against his chest, as you both lay there, panting, trying to catch your breath.
"Fuck." He chuckles. "That was..."
"Wow."
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"I'm seeing stars, I think. Or maybe I'm in love."
"You're definitely in love." He smiles, kissing your cheek. He thrusts deep into you one more time, his cock sensitive, the both of you moaning. "Round two?" He suggests.
"I'll die." He laughs and pulls out of you, you whimpering at the loss. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him.
"I'll get you a pill tomorrow morning, okay?"
"I have an important question."
He wraps his arms around your waist, his forehead pressed against yours. "Go on."
"How did you learn how to fuck so good?"
"I had a lot of pent-up energy."
"So I was just an easy outlet?"
"Maybe."
"I don't want to hear another word."
"I'm joking. It was pent up feelings, you idiot."
"Or maybe you're just a man whore?"
"No, definitely not. Just pent up feelings, like I said."
"For how long?"
"Like a year."
"That's a long time."
"I know."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I thought you didn't like me."
"Cloud."
“Mm.”
“You’re stupid.”
“I know. We could’ve fucked sooner.”
"Is that what you're really thinking about?"
"Not really. I'm thinking about how good your pussy feels around my cock."
"You're gross."
"You're gross, you made me cum inside you. They're going to give us an earful tomorrow, they definitely heard us." He mumbles, littering kisses up and down your neck again, wrapping his arms around you tighter.
"Guess we better get some sleep then?"
“Anything you say, princess.”
-
this is my first time writing smut. not sure how to feel about it. maybe a little too fast paced but very fun to write, learnt a lot.
#cloud strife x reader#cloud x reader#cloud strife fanfiction#cloud strife imagine#cloud strife smut#cloud strife x reader smut#cloud x reader smut#final fantasy 7#final fantasy 7 x reader#final fantasy vii#final fantasy vii remake#final fantasy vii x reader#final fantasy#final fantasy fancition#final fantasy 7 fanfiction#final fantasy vii fanfction#final fantasy vii imagine#final fantasy 7 imagine#cloud strife#final fantasy 7 remake#final fantasy 7 rebirth#cloud strife x you
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Needed Me 2
Part 2
Natasha x Wife!Reader
Warnings: angst, slight smut, blow!job, slightly mean!
nat.
Summary: heated arguments with Natasha
Authors Note: I’m sorry it took me so fucking long to finish this, I'm okay! but I had major writers block and I wanted to make it good for you guys. I also wanted to put the daughter in here more.
Lena swung her head in your direction, "Mommy I want this one," she whined. The rack of stuffed animals sat on display as your daughter complained about how much she wanted the pink bunny.
"No baby, you remember what mama said."
Last night, Natasha talked to lena about behaving properly. Now that she's getting older you can't keep babying her and supplying all her wants after a tantrum or fit.
So Natasha decided on no extra things outside of the store list for a month so she can learn that you won't be able to get everything she asks for even if she decides on throwing a fit.
"Lena, no means no," scowls natasha. Carrying Mateo in his car seat with her left hand, "Pick her up detka — let's go."
You couldn't help but bite your lip at Natasha's authority
Seeing her do what she does best turned you on in so many ways you couldn't explain. You couldn't stay upset with her no matter how hard you 'tried'.
Heading to your shared bedroom last night, Natasha had a way with her words, instead of hate sex you made love.
You missed her warmth and her touch but there's nothing you miss more than how sexy she looked taking care of her family.
Yes, your wife is a lot of things but you know how deeply she cares for the three of you and if you didn't.. you wouldn't have taken her back.
-
You sighed in frustration, "I'm not trying to upset you baby"
"I never said you did," she muttered, gathering the clothes and putting them into the drawer across from you.
Which was a lie, you knew she was upset because you disagreed with her thoughts of not putting lena into school right now.
You brushed your fingers through her red hair trying your best to comfort her, "I understand there's a risk baby but I want her to have a normal child hood"
Natasha chuckles in disbelief,
"You understand nothing."
You scoff, "Natasha? She's my kid too so what don't I understand?" You started walking across the other side of the room away from her.
"Please, humor me." You sat down in the chair next to the open window, your hands slapping your knee as you sat down.
A blank stare on her face caused you to raise an eyebrow, bouncing your leg impatiently waiting for an answer.
It wasn't surprising that you and Natasha got into an argument today, it was always bound to happen. Sooner or later.
"You do shit like this all the time," she mumbles under her breath, trying to make it hard for you to hear.
"Are you fucking kidding me, Natasha?"
Your wife clutches the shirt in hand, more frustration clouding her eyes as she stares at you. She clearly didn't have an explanation, only acting on impulse.
"Am I the one who forged our divorce? If anybody does stupid shit it's you not me." You protest, rubbing your fingers on your temple.
But there's something about crawling under Natasha's skin that pumps you up. Toying with her is what got you here, having two of her kids and married to her for seven years.
She ignores your directed comment, "There's too many risks."
"She's not attending school and that's final," Natasha grumbled, her head was filled with your nagging comments.
"Nat -" you tried to reason with her.
"Don't" She growls, snapping her eyes up at you.
Your mouth clicks shut, "Sorry," you mumble. She knows how well you respond when she gets pissed off.
Sometimes you can't believe the effect Natasha has on you.
She knows your weaknesses and has no problem showing her mastery over you. Something you craved over the past few months, something a certain someone couldn't give you.
You haven't told Natasha, you figured if she ever found out a another woman came around the house, she'll probably kill the girl.
She's too possessive of you to share you with anyone else. It'll tear her ego down, make her seem like she doesn't have control anymore.
—
"What do you know about banana bread, bunny?" Natasha laughs, hearing your daughter talk about how much she loved the taste of the dessert at the dinner table.
Lena giggles with a wide smile, "Miss Maximoff always makes some for me and mommy" she grins, picking up her last nugget eating it innocently.
Fear was written across your faces as you avoided contact with your wife. Natasha furrows her eyebrows at you, mouthing something you couldn't quite pick up on.
You stood up, "Let's put you to bed baby."
Natasha stared daggers at you, continuing to watch you walk away but you tried your best to not turn around.
The anticipation of waiting for you to get back sent nat over the edge causing her to throw everything off her desk.
"Fuck!" she screamed.
You heard nat scream through the door as your hand hovered over the door nob. You took a short breath to get yourself together before entering.
The door shut behind you, Natasha turned around instantly averting all of her attention to you.
"Natasha"
Before you could finish your sentence, she already had her hand wrapped around your neck causing you to inhale shakily, "Please baby."
Your wife clenched her jaw, staring into your eyes making you feel small under her grasp.
"Did she fuck you?" For a moment you saw her eyes darken, her hands starting to grip tighter forcing you to answer her question with a quivering voice, "No"
She released her hand, slamming it on the wall beside you, "Don't fucking lie to me!"
Your eyes welled up with tears and your body shook at the sudden movement she made. You and Wanda didn't have anything special she was nice but she was too nice for you.
You needed something stronger, you wanted Natasha hence why you never went further than a kiss on the cheek. But in this moment something clicked in you.
You needed her.
You looked up at the red head, moving down onto your knees. You wanted Natasha to know that you were hers and no one else's.
"Get up," she gritted.
Ignoring her statement you unbuttoned her pants pulling it lower until her underwear came off. Her dick sprung free ready to be sucked by you.
After a long pause, she moved forward grabbing your head forcing her cock into your mouth. Your tongue sliding along her length as you bobbed your head up and down. She groaned, holding onto the wall, "She could never fill you up like this" she said between pants.
You locked eyes with your wife who was watching you with pure lust in her gaze. Natasha cleared her throat, cock twitching from her own thoughts.
"You don't deserve my cock, detka."
She smiles at the whimpers that escaped you. Her hips started to move and you moaned.
"You shouldn't be sucking dick like a slutty little whore"
Tearing your gaze away from the cock, which was dripping with pre cum, you stared straight into her piercing orbs.
"We didn't have sex, Natty." You whispered, voice mildly hoarse already.
Natasha's face was flushed, cock weeping precum still.
She hadn't realized how close she was to coming until you stopped. "I know.you wouldn't do that to me," was all she uttered as you moved to take her again.
Natasha groaned, every word dying on her lips as your mouth was back on her cock. "Oh...just like that detka... fuck your mouth takes me so well..." You glanced upwards, watching her throat bob as she tilted her head completely back. A low, husky moan left her lips as you swallowed.
The sound of your daughter's voice from down the hall made you pull back. Saliva and cum dripping down your face as Natasha groaned at the sight, painting your face with her milk-white cum.
She forced your mouth open with her hand, releasing the rest of her cum into your mouth. Seeing you drop to your knees for her and pleasing her needs without asking made her proud. It made her thirst for you more.
You quickly got off your knees in a hurry, rolling your eyes at your crazed wife for making a mess of your face while trying to get up.
"Put your dick in your pants before your daughter comes in here" you whispered by her ear, a demanding tone that surprised natasha.
Quickly walking to the bathroom to clean your face, the sound of your daughter's voice getting closer to the room startled Natasha as she buckled up her pants.
"Mama, where's mommy? I can't sleep" Her hair was all over her head, fingers rubbing her tired eyes.
You shouted from the bathroom, "Mommy's coming baby!"
You threw your face towel down, walking out of the bathroom being met with Natasha sitting on the bed with the little girl tracing her tattoos, her head on her mama's chest.
Lena looked up with a smile making your heartmelt at the sight. "Why was mama screaming earlier?" She questioned, tilting her head.
Natasha bursted into laughter, you quickly sent her a pointed look causing her to quiet down. You sighed at your daughters question, "Nothing love, I was helping her with something"
Lena was even more confused than before, it was written all over her face but she shrugged her shoulders letting it go.
Nat smiled at her confusions, leaning down to kiss the temple of her head.
You smiled at the interaction it made you realize no matter the fights or arguments you and Natasha will have she'll forever be here to love you and the kids.
And you'll always love Natasha.
Even if that meant you needed her more than she needed you.
Needed Me
Tags:
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#natasha romanoff x female#natasha x you#natasha romanoff x you#natasha x reader#natasha smut#natasha romanov#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#avengers x reader#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff#wandanat x reader#smut wlw#wlw post
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𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. // 𝑾𝑪: 2.2𝑲
— feat. disassembly drone N x worker drone reader
synopsis. Since disassembly drones need oil to keep from overheating they kill other drones to consume it. But.. ever since the alliance between Disassembly and Worker Drones its been a bit difficult to acquire..It’s not a problem for V to randomly kill someone off but it’s a different situation for N now that his views have changed. AKA…reader supplies him with oil :DD
— content warning. Nothing 18+ just a few kisses, neck biting and N being in pain.. gulp?
— authors note. I fear this x reader is a bit..cringe then again that might just be me overthinking it..ANYWAYS tried my best for this, and still have no idea how to write for a robot. (N might be a little mischaracterized I’m not ENTIRELY sure)
At the end of science class, just when everyone was packing up to leave, you noticed N fidgeting more than normal at his desk.
"Is everything okay, N?" you asked.
He laughed nervously. "Who, me? Pshaw, never better!" But when he spoke, he looked anywhere but at you and the others.
Thad snickered. "Maybe his circuits are loose again." Lizzy giggled. "Lmao, he probably fried something.” Just as V was about to comment on his behavior..
N got up from his chair abruptly; he swayed unsteadily before catching himself upon another classroom desk.
By the time you registered what was going on, N had already ducked out of the classroom door, stumbling down the hall. "N, wait!" you called after him, hurrying to catch up. N was unsteady on his feet, swerving from side to side as he tried to put distance between the both of you.
His limbs shook with every step he took.
"G-Gotta...g-get a-away..." he muttered, though you weren't sure if he was even aware you could hear him. His eyes flickered erratically, barely being able to focus straight ahead as he tried to get away.
You picked up your pace, power walking down the corridor after him. "Slow down!!" you yelled out, but N was quicker, and before you knew it, when you reached the next corner, you lost him completely.
Your concern for N grew by the minute, so you started tracking him down since something was clearly wrong, beyond a normal glitch.
An hour had already passed since you last saw N, yet here he was in the maintenance unit stumbling blindly, crashing into something every few steps.
"S-sorry!" he slurred after bumping into a support beam for the third time. An unnatural static fuzzed the edges of his voice. Stubbornly, he scrambled back on his feet and lurched forward without seeing where he went.
Was he malfunctioning? But his murder drone programming should have kept him sharp, no?? Seeing him this disoriented was alarming.
You trailed him at a distance, hiding behind a variety of things as he walked on ahead. Where was he heading in such a panic? His vents were roaring torrents by now, and visible condensation soaked his frame.
Finally, he collapsed behind a supply crate, crawling the last few feet. Had he sensed you following? No, his optics were unfocused, so he couldn't have had.
Gingerly, you peeked around the crate to see N weakly clawing at his chest clearly in pain.
If you didn't act fast, he would shut down permanently. Steeling your nerves, you crawled to his side.
"N? Hey..hey! It's me, Y/N. Are you okay??”
When you gently called his name, N got startled so badly that his claws scraped sparks from the metal flooring he sat upon. His optics flashed wildly before settling on your face with a look of panic. "Y-Y-Y/N! S-sorry, but I don’t think you should be near me right now…”
N let out an alarmed wheeze that trailed off into a pained whine. It took visible effort for his optics to focus on you. You could tell he was losing some sort of control over his strength, but why??
"You don’t look so good..”
N broke into a hacking series of rushed laughter that ended in a groan. "Me? Pssh, n-no way! I'm t-totally fine, like I said earlier. Now please just leave me, yeah?” He waved dismissively, or at least tried to, but his attempt ended up flailing limply.
He knew he wasn't doing a great job at reassuring you when you glared at him.
"N-nothing to worry that pretty l-little processor of yours over, really.”
N's dismissive act was crumbling faster than his resolve. Another hacking laugh turned into a groan as his eyes started to flicker erratically once again.
"N, please. You're clearly not alright." You took his flailing claw gently in your hands. His plating was so hot it almost burned to the touch.
A whine slipped, “Crap..crap. It h-hurts,
Y/N. M-My core, it h-hurts so F̵̬̏́̏͆̀͝ų̸͙͋̿̃̌͋́̈́̆͑̕͠c̶̜̜̼̥͓̚k̷��̫̺̝̀̿̇͐̐͑ḭ̸̧̻̞̻͚̳̘̩̣͋̀̃́̔̊̋̚ň̵̞̪̯̼̟̗̩͈̖́g̸̩̤̩̼̘̪̀́͊͗̋͐́̇ much."
You've never seen N this vulnerable before…
"What can I do to help? There must be something." N trembled, fighting some inner battle. Finally, he met your gaze, his optics showing an agony of want behind the discomfort.
"T-there is s-something, b-but I shouldn't..." Strangely, another sound intermingled with the strain in his voice now.
Was that...hunger?
Stroking his plating gently, hoping to soothe, you pressed, "Please, tell me what you need." His vents hitched wildly. Then, in a strained whisper, he cracked.
"Y-your oil...I ne-need…it."
A shiver visibly ran through his frame. His optics darkened as they focused intently on your physic, more so your neck and wrist.
"I..." he began weakly, then stopped to swallow. His claws clenched tightly as if fighting the urge. You waited patiently for him to continue, showing concern but no sense of alarm.
After a long pause, N dragged his gaze with an effort to meet your face once more.
“T-tell me to stop," he whispered, his fangs peeking out as he talked.
"I so badly n-need it, but I don't w-want to hurt you.” His claws lifted toward your face but stopped only by his wavering will. You knew this would be the only way for him to cool down.
You looked deeply into N's eyes, past the haze of glitches that overtook his screen.
"I trust you," you said calmly without fear. His breathing became more ragged at your words.
In a flash, his restraint broke—but instead of lunging at your throat as you'd expected, his claws tangled in the fabric of your shirt, yanking you flush against his overheated frame. You gasped at the contact, feeling the waves of heat pouring off of him.
N buried his face in the crook of your neck, fangs tantalizingly. "P-please..." he stammered once more, sounding close to genuine tears. Raising a hand, you gently clasped the back of his head, threading your fingers through his silver hair.
"Take what you need," you told him firmly yet tenderly..After yet another hesitant pause, his screen displayed an X. Then, with a grunt of gratification, his fangs smoothly penetrated the sensitive wiring of your neck.
Your breath became unsteady as N's fangs pierced you. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would—just a little bit of a pinch. His hands gripped your shoulders for support as he drank deeply, allowing the oily fluid to course through his system.
For several moments the only sounds were his gulping intakes and your own measured breaths; you kept still so as not to disturb him. You watched as the pained lines on his face slowly eased, his eyes returning to normal. His plating, which was boiling hot only moments ago, cooled down to a much safer temperature against you.
N withdrew his fangs from your neck, making a small trickle of oil leak from your wound.
He leaned back in hastily, swiping his tongue along the twin marks. You shuddered at the foreign yet not unpleasant sensation. But N paused, a flushed look appearing on his screen. “Ah g-geez, is this w-weird?”
He glanced away, clearly embarrassed "What I mean to say is, um, my saliva can help the wounds close up faster? If, uh, you're okay with my germy mouth touching the injury I c-caused? No funny business, I swear! J-just bros being bros, p-patching each other…um up.”
N winced, realizing how that sounded. "N-not that we're actually b-bros, unless you want to be? Biscuits. Just—just let me do this, kay?”
With your consenting nod, N gave a short awkward chuckle and leaned back in. His tongue swiping over the wound. It began to tingle as the mark he had left slowly began to close up.
"It's strange to think your spit has healing properties," you remarked softly, not wanting to break the intimacy of the moment. N hummed in agreement, laving one last swipe across the bite mark before drawing back to assess his handiwork. His optics flicked up to meet yours, searching for any sign of discomfort.
"How does it feel? Are you in any pain?" he asked, his tone laced with concern despite his own drained state. You shifted experimentally. "Stop worrying. Just a slight tingling.“
N searched your face anxiously. "Are you sure? Nothing else? No dizziness or discomfort?" His optics roved your features, taking in every subtle reaction. When you reassured him again that all was well, the tension melted from his shoulders—only to be replaced with guilt.
"Y/N, I could have seriously hurt you," he said quietly, horror creeping into his tone. "My systems went haywire; I had no control. If I had bitten down any harder..." He shuddered, unable to complete the thought.
"But you didn't," you said firmly. "You fought off the urge just enough to get the help you needed. I trusted you, N." He shook his head sadly. "Your trust may be misplaced in me. The overheating....what if next time I can't—can’t stop.”
N shuddered again at the dark thought. Seeking to ease his distress, you shot him a playful smile. "Well, if it happens again, we're in this together. At least now I have a cool vampire drone friend!! The whole sucking my oil thing was pretty vampirish.”
He cracked a hesitant chuckle. "Yeah, maybe I'll sparkle in the sun too." Feeling bold, you leaned in with a faux-dramatic voice, "I vant to suck your coolant..."
N actually snickered at that. You beamed, glad to lift his spirit, even if it was only for a brief moment. His smile faded as reality set back in.
"But seriously, what if next time I really hurt someone?” On impulse, you threw your arms around him in a hug.
N's eyes widened as you suddenly hugged him close. For a moment he sat stiffly, caught off guard. Then slowly, oh so carefully, his arms came up to return the embrace.
"Y/N...if anything happened to you because of me, I don't know what I'd do," he said quietly against your shoulder. You squeezed him tighter for reassurance. "Hey, it'll take a lot more than some murder instinct to take me out. Have a little more faith in me, will you? Stop being so edgy.”
“Edgy?" N scoffed, "Sorry, nearly ripping your throat out put me in a gloomy mood."
"Ripping my throat out?” You echoed with a wry grin. "Well, luckily that didn’t happen, did it?”
N huffed, “Maybe. But what if next time I lose it?"
You opened your mouth to respond, but he quickly shushed you.
“You just leaped right in like it was nothing. Do you have any idea how badly this could've ended?" He gestured vaguely to the drying wound on your neck.
"You drones are so..so fragile. One wrong move and I could've—" He cut off, unable to say the word. His arms flexed unconsciously, as if longing to wrap around something and squeeze. To protect, or destroy? Even he wasn't sure.
"You'd never hurt me, N. I believe in-"
Your words halted as he glanced up, his eyes searching yours with raw, wavering emotion. An urge welled within you, sprung from compassion more than reason. You leaned in to press your lips to his in a soft kiss.
"Mmmph?!" N made a muffled sound of surprise, his body locking up stiffly. Your tongue briefly caught the tang of the lingering oil before you pulled back with a slight grimace.
His faceplate shone a distressed yellow blush. "I-I'm so sorry, I should have wiped my mouth better!“ he stammered.
But you simply smiled and leaned in again, pressing your lips gently to his once more. Then, slowly, he began to relax into the kiss.
His screen switched to a loading screen. In that moment, all his train of thought derailed off a cliff. N's screen flickered back online, and one of his hands floated up to gently touch his mouth, eyes wide and staring blankly.
"Bwuh-wha...you...kissem—I mean, I kissem-no, we...kissed?" he sputtered
"We k-kissed. You k-kissed me," he whispered, his optics shrinking to pinpoints before dilating wide again. A nervous giggling burst out of him.
"Oh biscuits, what d-does this mean? Are we like..” his tone lowered to a soft whisper.
“Dating n-now?”
"Well, uh, I guess you could say we're kind of sort of datingish now," you replied bashfully. "If-if you want to be my boyfriend, that is."
N's entire face lit up. "Boyfriend..Awhh Y/N!! Id love that." He hugged you tightly, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around in excitement.
"N set you down gently, his optics still shining with unbridled joy. However, a hint of seriousness crept into his expression as he looked at you intently.
"This doesn't mean I'm not mad at you for what you did," he said, his voice low and eyes narrowed slightly. "You could have been seriously hurt, or worse. You really scared me back there."
You sighed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Next time, I'll call V or someone else—I won't try to handle things on my own and potentially get myself killed." You paused, then added with a wry smile, "I promise."
N's stern look softened, and he hummed contentedly. "Good!" Reaching out, he took your hand in his larger one and gave it a gentle squeeze.
© yammpi3 2024. All work belongs to @yammpi3. You can repost if you want to support my blog/writing! Please don't modify, translate, or plagiarize in any way on ANY platform.
#࣪𝒀𝑨𝑴𝑰 𝑾𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑺.ᐟ⟡˖࣪#murderdrones fanfic#vampire#serial designation n md#md#md n#md uzi#md v#n x you#n x reader#murder drones x reader#murderdrones#murder drones#x reader#serial designation v murder drones#serial designation n#fanfiction#tumblr writers#cute robot#oil sucking HELP??#murder drones n#uzi x n#worker drone#disassembly drone#worker drone reader#fanfics#silly little guy#why did this take so long to write like WHAT?
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Made during the fantastic @mcyt-jukebox-bonanza for Oh No :: He Said What? by Nothing But Thieves. I have a whole AU I want to write in my brain which I'm gonna brain dump below. :] I might write it eventually. once I'm not in four different events at once. @-@
Okay SO. It's set in a cyberpunk-y city where megacorporations own everything and it Sucks for most people. But not for Joel! He's some kind of influencer/maybe a solo singer/artist act and he works for one specific talent agency. He's really well known, and kind of their main Face. Etho is an android at the same company who is half Joel's assistant, half rat to the upper administration board. The reason why he's an android is because that means he doesn't need sleep or food, so whenever he's not in Active Assistant mode, he's basically scouring the web to make sure that Joel's image is Perfect. One night, he ends up coming across a post that's a video someone took of Joel where Joel is basically BASHING the company he works for and lowkey admirers; it's really Typical Joel Trash Talk, but it's started to really tick some people off. He's saying that the company/fans would be nothing without him, they wouldn't be successful or anything were it not for his talent. Naturally, Etho has to report it to the higher ups, who aren't pleased that Joel is shit talking them and being like, they're nothing without me etc etc. So the managers order for Etho to Take Care Of Joel. Problem: they're not specific with what this means, though, and Etho Genuinely isn't sure if they're asking him to straight up kill Joel or to just take him out of the public eye for a bit. Etho opts to start with the latter since that'll give him time to mull over what he should do, and they go on a little Road Trip.
Eventually Joel ends up seeing himself from an outside perspective while on the trip through different newscasts and strangers' reactions, and realizes how Bad this all looks once he's out in the middle of nowhere, outside of his cushy life, seeing how Normal People live and are effected by capitalism. And only then slowly does he realize Etho took him out of the spotlight on purpose; Etho might have been asked to Make Him Go Away. In my head the whole fic ends on a cliffhanger of literally Joel begging Etho not to kill him and Etho Finally feeling prepared emotionally to do it. :]
Also, since you've made it all the way through my ranting, pls check out this live version of Oh No :: He Said What? IMO it's even better than the original recording. Beefy ass bassline.
#ethoslab#joel smallishbeans#hermitcraft#trafficblr#life series#boat boys#hermitcraft fanart#joel smallishbeans fanart#ethoslab fanart#drift draws#mcyt jukebox bonanza 2024
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Jealousy
Pairing | Bellamy Blake x reader Summary | You plan to make Bellamy jealous to get some attention… not to spoil anything but it works. Warnings | sexual content, 18+, verbal humiliation, knife play, exhibitionism, bondage, possessive behavior, face fucking, edging, Words | 6k Notes | reader pov, they’re dating, it’s season one. Also I do plan on revising this soon. Ao3 link | <3 Masterlist
As you sat by the fire eating your food you watched Bellamy across camp. He's been busy building the wall and taking care of everything else all day and has barely even looked at you. He promised he'd find enough time to be with you... but that was two days ago. Normally you wouldn't be so clingy, especially because what he's doing is very important for the camp and everyone in it but to be honest... you're really really horny. The last time Bellamy has spent "intimate" time with you was two weeks ago.
Deciding to do something about it you got up and walked over to Finn who was standing on the other side of the camp fire closer to Bellamy.
"Hey, princess." You roll your eyes at that. Everyone keeps calling you princess and you're not really sure why. Some say it's because Bellamy is the "king" but then wouldn't you be the queen?
"I told you not to call me that."
"Why not? Bellamy calls you that." He said with a small smirk. You looked at him, clearly annoyed and starting to regret your decision to talk to him a little bit.
"Bellamy is my boyfriend. Obviously he can can call me that-" you looked over at Bellamy again and sighed turning back to Finn, deciding to just be straight forward and say it.
"Whatever. Look I'm only talking to you to get a reaction from him, so are you in or not?" You crossed your arms over your chest waiting for his answer. His smirk never left his face.
"Trying to make the king jealous, princess?" You just stared at him waiting for his answer. He chuckled and said "Yeah alright I'm in. What exactly does "in" entail?"
"I don't know I'll touch your arm and laugh like you said something funny and you can... I don't know tuck my hair behind my ear or something? It shouldn't take much honestly." He agreed, knowing how easily jealous Bellamy could get.
"You do realize Bellamy will kill me right?" A small smile crossed your face. "Don't worry about that," you laughed lightly, "I'll make sure he spares you." Your tone was teasing but he still seemed a little hesitant.
You glanced at Bellamy one more time. He was facing your direction but talking to someone and not looking at you. Sighing you put your hand on Finn's arm and gave him one last questioning look and he nodded.
You let out a loud laugh, trying to make it sound like the one that's only reserved for Bellamy, and trying to make it loud enough that he'd notice but not too loud that it'd be suspicious. You slowly trailed your hand down his arm as your laugh died off and brought your hand back to your side when you reached his hand.
Finn was smiling, clearly entertained by your theatrics. He brought his hand up to your face and tucked your hair behind your ear. He went in for the kill and leaned down so his lips were almost touching your ear and whispered "He's watching. I know what'll make him snap, but if I die for this I'm coming back to life to kill you too." You let out a small laugh again and he brought his hand up to your waist then slid it to the small of your back.
You bit your lip trying to contain your laugh because Finn was definetly in for it now. He pulled his face away from your ear but kept it close to your face. You heard someone clear their throat from behind you and you immediately took a step back and turned around.
As expected, Bellamy's angry eyes met your's when you faced him. You put on your sweetest smile as if you hadn't just been fake flirting with Finn and let out a breathy, "Hi."
He raised an eyebrow at you and glanced behind you at Finn.
"Are you okay?" You kept up the sweet act hoping it'd make him go easier on your punishment later. His jaw clenched and he looked between you and Finn once more before grabbing your arm and dragging you away.
You put up a little bit of a fight, but your excitement was only growing. "Ow. Hey! Bellamy, I was busy talking to Finn."
He stopped and turned to you and his expression made you take a step back- you were really in for it now.
"I'm sure you were very busy talking to Finn."
"Yeah, I was." You tried taking your arm out of his grasp but he only gripped you harder. He turned around again and went straight to his tent, opening the flap and pushing you inside.
"Ow fucking watch it!"
He closed the flap and rushed toward you. He grabbed your chin with his hand, forcing you to look at him, "I'd watch your mouth if I were you, princess." His voice was quiet but full of jealousy and anger. He took a step back and looked you up and down, and you tried your best not to squirm under his gaze. His eyes landed back on yours, "Take off your clothes."
You stood there deciding how to play this. Submit willingly and he'd probably reward you... but also he probably wouldn't because of tonight's events. Or make things harder for him. Realizing both options would probably have similar outcomes you choose the fun one.
You crossed your arms over your chest and just stared at him. He squared his shoulders and raised his chin making him look more intimidating and took a step toward you.
"Take of your clothes." His voice laced with venom, kind of scaring you but you held your ground and just kept looking up at him.
"Are you sure this is how you want to play this, princess?"
You didn't move.
He sighed and clenched his jaw, "Fine."
He took another step toward you and began taking off your jacket, but not without a fight from you. Unsurprisingly, he succeeded and tossed it to the floor.
He took out a knife from his side pocket in his pants and your eyes widened. You moved to step back but he grabbed your hair and tilted your head back and said, "You might want to stay still for this." He smirked as you stayed frozen, your breathing labored, then lowered the knife to your shirt and cut it down the middle, "Hey!"
You didn't get to finish because he raised the knife to your throat, his eyes telling you, ordering you, to shut up. And you did. He dropped the knife and then took off your shirt, ripping off part of the bottom and bringing it up to your mouth.
"I told you to watch your mouth." He said while starting to gag you. You pushed him back still not ready to completely submit yet and he grabbed your wrists, "Do I need to get the handcuffs too?"
You stared at him and clenched your jaw, eyes wandering to some of stuff that came with the guard uniform he came down in. He smirked at you again and set down the piece of cloth.
"Fine."
He walked over to the pile and grabbed the cuffs. He forced you around, now facing his makeshift bed, and he took off your bra before you even realized what was happening.
"Hey-" you started turning around but he grabbed your wrist and pushed your top half into the bed, forcing your hands behind you. Once they were cuffed he lifted you and turned you around and picked up the piece of cloth.
"Open."
Not surprising either of you, you didn't.
He sighed again and grabbed your jaw forcing your mouth open before inserting the gag and tying it behind your head. He stepped back and looked you up and down with a smirk, clearly impressed with his work. You rolled your eyes.
You heard the noise before you felt the sting on your cheek and let out a short groan turning back to him, a little suprised.
"You need to fix your attitude right now unless you want more punishment than you're already getting."
Now might be a good time to finally submit... but you weren't done having fun yet. So you rolled your eyes again. He brought a hand up to your throat and used the other to slap you again. He studied you for a moment longer before reaching up and pulling the gag out of your mouth.
"You know what? I know a better way to fill your mouth." He shoved you down to your knees, your face falling forward into his legs from you lack of arm mobility and balance. He grabbed your hair and yanked your head back making you whine quietly.
His hands moved to his belt, taking it off and setting it on the bed. You had a feeling that was going to be used later... He unbuttoned his pants and pulled them and his underwear down just past his balls before taking his cock in his hand and stroking it.
"You want it?" Smirking more than before if that were even possible. And...yes. You did want it. But you weren't going to tell him that. You sat back on your heels and looked up at him with a bored expression.
Clearly growing annoying at your behavior he grabbed your hair and yanked you back up. When your mouth opened to let out a pained groan he stuck his cock in, suprising you and making you choke a bit.
"Gagging already? I thought I trained you better than that, slut." You breathed out of your nose and relaxed your throat. With your hands behind your back and his hands in your hair you had no choice but to take as much or as little as he decided to give you.
After another minute of slowly dragging your mouth over his cock he pulled your head back, "Say "thank you" princess." Your breathing was heavy when you locked your eyes on his, a smirk of your own growing on your face.
"Thank you, princess." You mocked him and he slapped you harder than the last two times. You groaned and kept your face to the side before he yanked your head back in place and started fucking your mouth again.
"You don't even deserve my cock." His breathing was getting heavy, "You went through all of that effort with Finn just to throw it away with your attitude."
Finn. All of that felt like ages ago.
"You know, if you wanted my cock so bad, all you had to do was ask, not whore around with the entire camp." A particularly rough thrust made you gag again and tears were welling up in your eyes.
"Maybe you can't help it," his voice was sickeningly sweet, "maybe you're just a fucking cockslut that will take it from anyone who offers." He pulled you off his cock and you slowly shook your head 'no'.
"No?"
You raised your eyes to look at him, already starting to submit to him. He pulled your hair up until you're standing and pushed you forward into a kiss. The kiss was messy from all of the spit in your mouth from having your throat fucked but it was perfect. You went to move your hands into his hair but felt the pull of the cuffs on your wrists.
You pulled back, both of you panting a bit. "Please," you whispered, "I want to touch you. Bell, please." He brought his hand up to the side of your head and you leaned into his touch.
After another few moments he shook his head. "If you want to be rewarded you need to be good and prove that you deserve it." You immediately nodded your head and he let out a breathy laugh.
"I can- I'll be good- I am good. Please, Bell."
"You need to prove it, princess. I'm not letting you off the hook that easy after everything you've done tonight." Hot shame filled your body and reddened your cheeks. You looked at the ground, "I- I'm sorry." you whispered.
"Please, I'm sorry I-" you broke off into a sob and he shushed you, bringing you into another kiss.
"It's okay, princess. You'll have your chance to prove it. Sit on the bed." His voice was soft and it made you melt and instantly obey him.
"Good girl."
A shaky breath left your mouth. He tucked his dick back in his pants and kneeled in front of you. He grabbed the knife from the floor and put it next to you on the bed with his belt then took off your shoes and socks. He reached up and unbuttoned your pants, grabbing your hips to pull you up onto your feet before sliding them and your underwear down your legs. You stepped out of them and he stood up with you and brought you in to another kiss.
His hands were everywhere- your back, waist, ass, chest, neck, face. It was heaven. You moaned into the kiss and the hand on your waist squeezed hard until you whimpered. He pulled back and trailed kisses down your jaw onto your neck, taking his time and leaving as many marks as possible. You moaned his name and longed to touch him, but knew you didn't deserve it yet.
He pulled back and took a step back as well. His eyes went from yours, to your neck, then down and back up your body. He took off his shirt and you inhaled sharply. He then bent down to take off his shoes and socks and noticed your legs squeezed together. He brought his hands up to your thighs and separated them.
"Did I say you could feel pleasure yet?"
You honestly thought he was joking for a second because squeezing your thighs together barely did anything, but he stared at you waiting for your answer.
"N-no." You disappointed him again. "I'm sorry..." you said quietly.
He stood and dragged his hands up your body to your waist, "It's okay, princess. Just don't let it happen again."
"I won't." You were quick to answer. He kissed you again but only briefly this time. His fingers tucked into the waist band of his pants and underwear and your mouth started watering.
"I'll ask you one more time. You want it?" He repeated his earlier question and you didn't hesitate to answer this time.
"Yes. Please. Please Bellamy." Nodding your head. He grabbed your throat to stop the movement and studied your face, "God you're desperate." The degrading words mixed with the adoration in his tone made you almost squeeze your legs together again. He caught the action and looked back up to you with a small smile, "Good girl."
Your heart fluttered.
He stepped back and pulled his pants and underwear down, stepping out of them. Your breathing accelerated as you looked at his body- he's so beautiful.
"You're so beautiful."
You froze. Both of you equally suprised by the words that just left your mouth. But he smiled and kissed you hard.
"Trust me, princess, you're the beautiful one in this relationship." You laughed lightly and shook your head.
He walked away from you leaving you confused for a second before he returned with the keys and turned you around to take the hand cuffs off.
"Can I please touch you, Bell?" You asked, quietly, wanting to still be good for him.
"Of course, princess."
Your hands immediately went to his hair and pulled him into a kiss. Somehow each one was always better than the last. With his hands on your waist, he walked you backwards until your legs hit the bed and gently laid you down. You pulled him on top of you, starting to get impatient and he chuckled.
You continued kissing until he pulled away leaving both of you breathless. He stared at you a minute longer then sat up and reached behind himself and grabbed the knife.
At your sharp inhale he looked back at you.
"Relax, princess." He twirled the knife around in his hand, examining it, and met your eyes again with a smirk.
He pressed the flat end of the blade against your nipple and you let out a whine at the cold sensation. He took the blade away then brought his mouth down and licked over it teasingly. You arched your back at the abrupt change in temperature and he pulled his head back to meet your eyes.
"I'd stay still if I were you."
He trailed the tip of the blade down from your collar bone to your breast, pressing the flat end on your nipple like he had done with the other one.
"Bell..." Your voice was airy and your breathing labored. He leaned back over your head and lightly trailed the blade down your jawline, then used it to pull your bottom lip down before letting it go.
"Scared, princess?" Your eyes were wide as you stared at him, trying to stay as still as possible. You swallowed loudly and just looked up at him unable to form any actual words.
The cold metal pressed against your throat and your eyes widened even more as you gasped.
"Answer me." His voice was dark and made you tremble even more than you already were.
"Yes." You whispered.
He gave you a small smile, "Good." He studied your face a little before asking, "Color?"
It took you a second to remember what that was supposed to mean because you honestly didn't have any thoughts in your head other than Bellamy Bellamy Bellamy.
"Green." You nodded. He smiled again and nodded back.
"I have an idea." He looked at you with mischief and lust in his eyes. He set the knife down next to your head and took the piece of cloth that was still tied around your neck and brought it up to your eyes, blinding you.
He gave you a short kiss before whispering against your lips, "Is this okay?" You nodded. When he didn't move you realized he was probably waiting for an answer, "Yes."
"Good girl."
He kissed you again, his tongue invading your mouth easily winning dominance over your own. He trailed kisses down your jaw and neck, leaving as many marks as he could. He made his way down your chest and sucked your nipple into his mouth before gently biting it. He used his hand to pinch the other one and you let out a low moan, putting your fingers in his hair. He switched and continued torturing your nipples for a little bit longer before trailing kisses down your stomach. His hands were warm as they dragged down your sides.
With your hands still in his hair you gently pushed his head down, silently asking him to finally give you what you need. His head raised and you felt icy cold on your neck making you freeze.
"Dont be greedy."
"I'm sorry."
The pressure was gone from your neck and you let out a heavy breath, relaxing.
You felt his warm breath over your heat and you unconsciously raised your hips. His hands grabbed you and forced you back down but you were still squirming. You felt cold on the inside of your thigh and immediately froze again.
He trailed the knife up to your hip before lightly pressing the side into the skin. You whimpered but didn't move.
"Stay still. If you don't the consequences are your fault not mine."
You let out a very heavy breath and tightened your fingers in his hair. He lowered his face down to your cunt and pressed a slow kiss against your clit. He licked his tongue from bottom to top and you begged your body to not betray you.
You whined his name and he sucked your clit into his mouth, making you tighten your grip in his hair even more and let out a loud moan.
He continued licking and sucking and biting and your moans only grew louder and louder.
Your hips thrusted up into the knife and you let out a small scream at the feeling of your skin tearing. He pulled his head and the knife away from you and you felt warm and wet on your hip as he licked the blood clean. You moaned the loudest you had all night and he shushed you.
"Do you want the whole camp to know how much of a slut you are for me?"
You whined loudly and felt his hand around your throat then a breath at your ear.
"You do want that don't you, princess? Want the whole camp to hear how good you're being for me?" You continued whining and squirming your hips trying to get friction.
"You know... I was going to save you the embarrassment of using the belt, but now I'm not so sure." Your hands moved to his back dragging your nails down hard.
"I bet you'd love that wouldn't you? Having everyone hear your moans when I spank you. Maybe someone would even come in, concerned about all of the screaming. Maybe Finn would come in. See you with your ass up in the air begging me to hit you... begging me to fuck you."
At this point you were basically sobbing from desperation. Needing him to touch you or do literally anything.
"Maybe then you'll finally realize that I'm the only one who can make you feel like this."
Sobbing harder than before you nodded your head quickly.
"O- only you, Bell."
"'Only me" what?"
"Only you can make me feel like this! Only you can make me feel good- Bellamy, please!"
"'Please" what, Princess? Tell me what you want."
"Please fuck me," you sobbed, "Please, Bell I need your cock!"
You felt him shift and then his weight was gone. You were only confused for a second before you felt hands on your hips turning you on your stomach then raising your ass up.
"B-bell..." You weren't sure you were actually ready for the entire camp to hear Bellamy spank you, but you trusted him.
He shushed you and you felt his cock at your entrance. You forced a breath out and shifted your hips back, trying to get him inside already.
You felt him slowly enter you and then his weight was over your body, mouth by your ear. He moaned your name and you squeezed your eyes shut under the blindfold and opened your mouth in a silent moan.
He leaned back up and brought his hands to your upper back and pushed down, then pulled out before slamming himself back in.
He continued slow but hard thrusts until you were crying his name and begging for more.
"Bell- fuck... Bellamy, please-" you gasped after a particularly hard thrust.
"Tell me what you want, princess."
"Please. Faster- please I need-" you cut yourself off with a sob but he seemed to understand. He took your wrists from beside your head and brought them behind your back, pushing your face and chest fully into the bed.
He gripped your wrists tighter and began fucking you faster. You put your face into his makeshift pillow to muffle your screams, but the sound of skin slapping against skin was obvious and anyone near the tent would definitely know what was happening.
He held both of your wrists in one hand and slapped your ass, making you cry out and arch your back even more. He reached forward to grab your hair and pulled your hair back, "Who owns you?" His voice was full of lust and jealousy and anger.
"You, Bellamy!" You cried, beginning to near your orgasm.
"Tell me!"
"You own me, Bellamy! I'm yours!" His thrusts slowed and you whined out a 'no' while trying to move your hips against him. He pulled out and flipped you onto your back then took off the blind fold.
You looked at him with tears in your eyes, your orgasm getting farther and farther away. "Please! Please I need to come- Bellamy!"
"You come when and if I allow it. You only feel pleasure if I allow it." He lowered his voice and picked up the knife again, putting it to your throat, "You only feel pain... if I allow it." He trailed the blade down your cheek and your mouth opened in a gasp. He slowly put the knife in your mouth and you stuck out your tongue underneath it.
"Do you understand?" His voice was still quiet but full of dominance.
You nodded.
"Good." He took the knife away and lifted your legs onto his shoulders before sliding his cock back into you with a groan.
"Your body is mine. Your orgasms... are mine. Why is that, princess?"
"Because I belong to you. I'm yours." You said without hesitation.
He started fucking you again, just as rough as before, and your hands went to his hair. Your legs were starting to burn in this position but fuck it felt so good. He put the knife down and wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing tightly.
He put two fingers in your mouth, intentionally making you gag, "This mouth... is mine." He whispered.
He took his fingers out and moved his hand to grope at your breast, "These tits are mine." He squeezed your nipple and pulled it hard, the pain making you feel so good.
He moved his hand down to your clit and you gasped, then let out a loud moan, "This cunt... is mine." You nodded and moved your hands to his back, dragging your nails across him.
He continued rubbing your clit and fucking you and you were dangerously close to your orgasm. Or... Bellamy's orgasm.
"Bell-" you choked out, overwhelmed by pleasure.
"Bellamy please!" his hand tightened around your throat and you let out another loud moan.
"Bellamy, can I- please let me come..." Your voice was softer as you finally accepted that Bellamy is the one who owns you, takes care of you... and whatever he decides, you'll take it graciously.
He continued staring at you then removed his hand from your clit. You tried not to scream as you felt your orgasm slipping away once again. He leaned down and pressed his mouth to yours, tongue easily invading your mouth. He continued kissing and fucking you for a bit until he finally lifted his face to look at you. His thrusts slowed but were just as rough.
You took a deep breath and let your desperation subside, Bellamy would take care of you. He knows exactly what you need.
"What do you want, princess?" His voice was quiet but rough.
"Can I..." You turned away feeling embarrassed, but he grabbed your chin and turned your face back to his.
"What?" His voice was so sweet and you almost forgot that he asked you something. The hand from your chin moved to the side of your head and you instinctively leaned into it.
"I want to..." you cleared your throat, unsure why the words were so hard to get out after everything that's happened tonight.
"Can- can I please make you come? I... I want to swallow it... please..."
He almost looked suprised- probably expecting you to ask to come again- but he gave you a tiny smile, "What my princess wants, my princess gets."
His princess.
With new butterflies in your stomach he slowed to a stop and pulled out. You whined at the emptiness, already missing the feeling of being full. He kissed you again shortly before motioning for you to switch places with him.
He laid on the bed while you kneeled between his legs, silently waiting for his permission. He nodded and you eagerly dove toward his cock, taking in more than half and almost choking yourself in the process. You moaned at the taste of yourself on him.
His hands moved to your hair and lightly pulled you off of him, "Slow down, princess."
You cleared your throat, already feeling sore, and apologized. He moved you back down and you slowly took him into your mouth but this time you went down farther, until your lips were almost at the base. You came back up and pulled off, sucking in a breath of air, then immediately went back down. He groaned and tightened his fingers in your hair. You looked up at him meeting his eyes and he moaned your name.
"Fuck, princess. Come on... all the way down." He encouraged you as he slowly pushed your head down until your lips were at the base. He held you there and you willed yourself not to gag and took a deep breath through your nose.
Your hands had a death grip on his thighs, but moved one up to play with his balls.
"Fuck..." He pulled your head up then immediately back down and came, groaning your name. You gagged as your mouth was filled, but he held you down until he was done. You swallowed then immediately coughed and tried to catch your breath.
He opened his eyes and looked at you, then motioned you forward. You straddled his hips and he pulled your head down into a kiss. This one was sweet. Not rough, but slow and full of love. You raked your fingers through his hair and sighed in content.
He pulled back then moved his hands to your hips, pulling you forward. You were confused as he kept pulling you but let out a gasp when you realized his intentions.
He smirked up at you when your knees were on either side of his head and pulled you down onto his face, immediately sticking your clit into his mouth. You moaned and grabbed onto his hair. He stuck his tongue inside you a couple times before moving back to your clit; biting, sucking, and licking. Your hips were grinding against his face and if you weren't so close to coming you might've been embarrassed about it.
"Bellamy..." You whispered, warning him off your impending orgasm. He pulled his head back and lifted your hips a bit to talk, both of you panting.
"You can come, princess. Whenever you're ready."
You let out a huge breath in relief, "Thank you." You basically sobbed out.
"Th- thank you, Bell." You let out a long moan as he buried his face in your cunt again. His mouth was working vigorously on your clit and you knew you could come any second now.
With your hands tight in his hair, you moved your pussy against his face, trying to increase the friction. He moaned against you and that sent you over the edge. You were probably suffocating him but all you could focus on was how fucking good this felt.
"Thank you! Thank you," You sobbed, "thank you..."
"Bellamy..." You whined, crying harder than before. He lowered his head and lifted your hips off of him, moving you to lay beside him. He pulled you into his arms and stroked your hair as your crying slowed.
After a while of silence, only filled by both of your breathing, you spoke. "I... I'm sorry about Finn..." You kept your face buried in his chest but he grabbed you chin and raised it until your eyes met his. He looked between your eyes then at the rest of your face and let out a breath.
"I know, princess." He had a small smile so that was a good thing right?
"I just... I just missed you a lot but you've been so busy running the entire camp and... and I don't know. At the time making you jealous seemed like a good idea, but I guess I can't really think straight when I'm horny." You both quietly laughed at that.
"Also I promised Finn that you wouldn't kill him." He rolled his eyes and laughed again.
"We'll see." His eyes trailed down your neck and chest and a smirk was forming on his face.
"...What?" You asked, very suspicious.
"If the camp didn't know you are mine before... they definitely will now." He started laughing and you raised a hand to your neck, unamused.
"That's not fair."
"What's not fair, princess?" He was still smiling even though you were frowning at this.
"If everyone knows that I'm yours then they should know that you're mine too." You glanced at his neck then back up to his eyes. He raised an eyebrow then laid down on his back.
"Alright then. Go ahead." You narrowed your eyes at him, somehow feeling like this was a trick, and he laughed at that. "What? They should know that I belong to the most beautiful woman in camp."
"On the planet actually." He corrected. Now you laughed at this.
"You're just trying to get in my pants again."
You never wanted this moment to end.
"Maybe." His smile was as wide as yours. "Keep up the "most beautiful woman on the planet" crap and you'll get there." Your laughter died down but you were both still smiling like idiots.
He cleared his throat and leaned a little back from you. "Get it over with then."
"'Get it over with'? Excuse me?" He was holding back a laugh and you dove into his neck biting the skin making him hiss. You kissed up and down his neck, sucking and licking as you went, trying to leave as many marks as he did.
You were half on top of him and his hands settled on your back then moved down to grip your waist.
His mouth was right next to your ear as he whispered, "If you don't stop soon, I will be getting into your pants again tonight." You chuckled and pulled back, staring at him until he leaned up to kiss you, soft and slow. You smiled into the kiss and he slowly started smiling as well.
You leaned back, laying next to him in his arms and fell asleep to him stroking your hair.
When you woke, Bellamy wasn't there. You vaguely wondered what time it was but were way to tired to care. Before you could fall back asleep though, you were woken by someone coming in the tent. You squinted your eyes open and saw Bellamy.
He kneeled by the bed and offered you a cup, "I figured you'd want some water." He blushed at the implication. You took it and chugged the entire thing, already feeling the soreness slowly go away.
"Thanks." You rasped. God your throat was going to be sore for at least a day or two.
"Sorry..." he said sheepishly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "Don't be." You smiled at him hoping he understood to not feel bad about it. That you liked the constant reminder of your time with him- the ache in your cunt was a pretty good reminder as well.
"What time is it?"
"Almost 11. Perks of being the princess, I gave you the morning off." He teased, smiling at you. You laughed and shook your head. "I take it I'm on afternoon and night duty then?" You weren't a guard because Bellamy wouldn't let you anywhere near the woods with out him so you did what you could around camp. Helping Clarke with medical stuff, building the wall, cooking food. Whatever needed done.
You started getting dressed and putting your shoes on. He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, "Can't let the people think I have favorites can I?" When you were dressed you slowly stepped toward him and put your palms on his abs sliding them up to hang around his shoulders.
"Not even if I can bribe my way out of it?" Your face was inches from his and he put his hands on your hips, holding you tight.
"What did you have in mind?"
You brought your lips to his neck and kissed up to his ear while trailing a hand down his chest and stomach resting on the top of his pants. You gently bit his ear lobe then whispered, "I can think of a few things."
His hand moved to your neck and he pushed your head back to look at him. You bit your lip and tried to give him the best faux innocent look possible.
You moved your hand to the button on his pants but didn't try to undo it yet.
"Well? My king..." You smirked at him, on the verge of laughing, and his grip around your throat tightened. He stared at you another minute before his eyes hardened and his jaw clenched. He let go of your throat and stepped out of reach from you.
"No. I'll see you back here tonight." You laughed as he adjusted his pants before leaving the tent.
You made sure you had everything you needed before leaving the tent. You walked over to the food and grabbed some fruit. Someone clearing their throat behind you caught your attention. You turned around and saw Finn. He was smiling but as soon as he saw your appearance he burst out laughing. You crossed your arms, unamused.
"I take it it worked then?" He smirked, trying to hold back his laughter.
"Is it that bad?" You raised and hand to your neck subconsciously. When he didn't answer and just kept looking at you like that you sighed, shaking your head.
"I told him not to kill you but I'm starting to change my mind." You gave him a sarcastic smile and he raised his hands in defense.
Your attention was caught by Bellamy walking up to you. He put an arm around your waist but was looking at Finn.
"Everything okay?"
"Yep!" You answered even though he was still staring at Finn, hard expression on his face. He raised an eyebrow and clenched his jaw and Finn excused himself.
"You don't have to be so mean to the poor kid." He looked at you and his expression softened but he rolled his eyes. Sighing and trying to let it go he removed his arm from your waist and moved in front of you.
"Octavia said she could use some extra help with the meat."
"Alright." You smiled and started to walk away but he grabbed your arm and yanked you toward him, your bodies now pressed together. He slid his arm across your lower back and his other hand went to the back of your neck pulling you into a kiss. It was far too passionate for being in the middle of camp but it was perfect.
#bellamy blake x reader#bellamy blake#the 100#smut#possessive behavior#fluff and smut#he says princess like a million times#bellamy blake smut
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kill the romeo - how zb1 would break generic cliches!
pairing : ot9 x reader! genre : crack + fluffff cw/tw : based off of the reverse tropes list in title link + littol bit rushed n uneditted D: wc : 0.8k approx
˖ ౨ kim jiwoong ৎ ⋆
[too many beds] - this guy will nawt be caught slipping. any time you get mysteriously stranded and have to spend the night at a hotel all alone with him, he will make sure to book 2 separate rooms by hook or by crook (he behaves really nicely and politely with the hotel staff and they just melt and give in to his demands >.<). it's a whole other topic that by the end of the night either you or him take the initiative to softly knock at the other's door because you "jus' can't seem to fall asleep.."
(others utc 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔)
˖ ౨ zhang hao ৎ ⋆
[really nice guy who hates only you] - an absolute model of the sweetest guy ever ™ for some reason acting like an absolute hater *only* towards you. but plot twist (because if he actually hated us i couldn't deal w that.) his prickly, irritated, downright bitchy behavior towards you is due to him not knowing how to be normal around you without putting on some kind of a facade. due to yk. him being head over heels in love w you (yes i'm delusional.) the confession would finally be yelled out in the middle of an argument over some random, irrelevant issue neither of you actually care about, thanks for asking
˖ ౨ sung hanbin ৎ ⋆
[too much communication] - i take no arguments. bro will Talk out everything and anything and we love that for him. there will be no unnecessary miscommunication drama in his household. it's like he has his green flag video game stats maxed out completely
˖ ౨ seok matthew ৎ ⋆
[fake amnesia] - going out on such a limb here but okay hear me out what if someone confessed to him. and he didn't know how to reply. so he. faked being an amnesiac. and obviously the person who confessed was worried so they like idk called you, his friend, up for help. cut to you reaching there like ???? wtf and him being like i'm sorry :) please help :). and obviously delicious shenanigans ensue afterward yum yum
˖ ౨ kim taerae ৎ ⋆
[too hot to cuddle] - super specific winter based scenario but imagine you want to initiate more physical contact w your bf but don't exactly know how to say it so you mess around with the heater, to have a convenient excuse, but instead of lowering the intensity of the heat just a tad you accidentally. max the heat settings. and also break the heat adjustor. oops. it may be literally snowing outside but it's basically an entire sauna in there. you do Not know how to fix it.
(when you eventually end up asleep though, taerae simply takes out the plug of the heater right before wrapping you up in a huge comfy embrace :P)
˖ ౨ shen quanrui ৎ ⋆
[true hate's kiss] - dipping into fantasy territory for the most royalty coded guy ever. you're cursed by some petty witch for whatever reason with the condition that only a kiss from your enemy would break it but for some reason didn't know about the condition. and in universe, you and ricky would already be rivals but when he found out about your curse as well as how it could broken (he's super smart/has connections okay just roll with it) he'd go out of his way to hide his own feelings piss you off more and more till your hatred is at an all time high. when you finally burst and strike a heated argument with ricky he ends up kissing you. (the audience cheers)
wait also imagine if after he kisses you nothing happens. the curse doesn't lift. wasn't the condition for your enemy to kiss you? so even if you were the only one who hated him it should've worked, no? ..
alternatively. the curse is lifted when he kisses you. but!! you don't know that. and him kissing you out of the blue would only lead to you being even madder at him. ong the angst potential is SOARING. do you guys get what i mean
god do i need to write a fic for this.
˖ ౨ kim gyuvin ৎ ⋆
[everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating] - when you end up confessing to best friend!gyuvin and learning that he, in fact, likes you back, you start dating and couldn't be happier. except that ... literally no one believes it. you could be literally making out in front of all your friends and they'd be like haha! classic gyuvy/n like ...... gyuvin obviously would never let go of the opportunity to suggest actually getting married "only to show them that you're together frfr"
˖ ౨ park gunwook ৎ ⋆
[accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss] - unrealistic coded but let me set the scene. your roommate asks you to fake-kidnap one of their friends for a surprise birthday party and you comply. but!! you didn't what the person looked like. meaning the vague description you were texted was all you had to go off of. and well. obviously that doesn't go well. you end up coaxing gunwook over to your place only for your roommate to be absolutely flabbergasted and in a terrified tone, tell you that you have the wrong person. who just so happens to be rather notoriously well known. all while he sits there like :]
˖ ౨ han yujin ৎ ⋆
[love triangle where the two love interests get together instead] - school au where both of you have a crush on the class president-! constant competition and trying to one-up the other for their attention wraps up yujin and you in such a whirlwind that neither of you can actually tell when it stopped being about wooing the pres but instead became all about subtly trying to make the other jealous so they would finally take the first step
notes : eeeeeeeeee + [m.list] song rec : all of cinema paradise actually
𐙚 . regulars : none yet! ⋆
#order's up~! 📋⋆𐙚#div creds : plutism#cookies.♡︎🍪#zerobaseone#zb1#zb1 imagines#zb1 reactions#zb1 drabbles#zb1 scenarios#zb1 angst#zb1 fluff#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone reactions#zerobaseone scenarios#zerobaseone drabbles#zerobaseone fluff#kpop fluff#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions
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SPOILERS?? MAYBE
Wife!reader waiting for Alastor in his Radio tower after the final big battle, knowing he'd go there and waiting for him there, Scolding him and angry at him, Talking about how worried they were and how they saw everything. But then it turns fluffy at the end :3
Alastor X Reader [Romantic]
In which you lost track of him during the battle, so you wait in his tower hoping he made it. Reader is female.
The battle had been planned over the series of a day, everyone practicing and learning how to defend themselves
Being an overlord and promised watcher over the hotel, Alastor was of course given a tall order; he was to take care of Adam
While he acted as if it were nothing and swept it by as if it'd be another easy task, you weren't so confident in his abilities against such a powerful angel
Not that you didn't trust him, just that it's scary to think he'd be doing it all alone
Though you offered support, he outright refused it
" Can't have you in the way! You are just so distracting! "
Yeah right
As much as you wanted to protest, you knew he wouldn't budge on it
But as Adam parted the battle and Alastor was nowhere to be seen, you assumed the worst along with everyone else
He'd been killed so easily? Certainly not, would he really give up his life like that? Your anger boiled up in you as you fought, and it carried you past your limit until everything was rubble
While you had the chance, you quickly whisked away to his tower, which now lay broken in the soil, though still partially intact
You had to kick the door a few times before it finally broke open, having been blocked by some debris
You hoped to all gods that you'd see him in there, but it was as silent and empty as you dreaded
You figure Husk would have said something if he felt his chains come loose, though, so you crawled up into the chair which he normally sat to broadcast and waited
And waited
Until finally, your looped prayer was answered when he came limping through the hatch
You could tell he was panicking or overwhelmed; you weren't entirely sure what, but you scrambled towards him
" Alastor! You're okay- "
" Get away from me. "
You stopped in your tracks, staring at him with bewilderment
He'd never sounded like that, especially not towards you, it frustrated you beyond belief that he refused you at a time like this
" No, no! I thought you died out there! All because you thought you could handle things on your own when you clearly cannot! "
Hot tears welled in the corner of your eyes, the silence only intruded by creaking, and the sound of your hissing breaths
It took him a moment, but the overlord straightened himself out, a shaky breath leaving his lips as he soaked in your reply
It wasn't fair of him to say that to you, and you were right, but something in him felt so shaky; his smile felt more forced than ever; he felt as if his wings had been clipped
" Dearest, you know me better than anyone, but unfortunately, there are things I cannot tell you—even if I want to. "
You knew he was bound by someone and chained, and as he spoke with such a lost desperation, you couldn't help but cry harder as the guilt consumed you
" I'm just glad you're alive. "
While you stood with what felt like an infinite space between you, the crackle in the air started to come back to him, which followed with his arms reaching out to you
You found yourself burying yourself in them, clinging to his shirt until your knuckles strained, and you cried
With no one else around to witness it, he wrapped his arms around you, ensuring you were secure
He'd do whatever it took to find a way out, so he could promise you an eternity by his side
Author's Note - Finally got to your req 🖤 Its so lovely to see you in my inbox, Lilith!! Thank you for requesting 🥂
#koko writez#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#reader insert#x reader#alastor#alastor x reader
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✩ Title: The Lovers
✩ Paring: Idol! Taehyung x Actress! Reader
✩ Summary: It's been a rule, if you date an actor or actress you have to be strong. Especially when you see them kissing another for their new drama. Why is it so hard to be strong?
✩ Genre: Fluff, romance, angst, Tae is just an insecure boy that needs a hug and smut
✩ Playlist: Only - LeeHi & Loving With All Your Heart by Domsonegongbang
✩ Authors note: Having a heat stroke sucks. I'm finally feeling better and I'm able to post this story. I'm sorry for being sick!
Prologue
"Insecurity kills all that is beautiful". - Anonymous
It was the early morning, the streets were still empty as the sun gently entered the buildings waking everyone up from their deep sleep. L/N Y/N slowly opened her eyes when she heard a cabinet close from the bathroom. She let out a small groan and turned towards the clock on her nightstand, 07:35 am. She ran her hand through her messy hair as she let a deep sigh out. Today was supposed to be her day off, and so was Taehyung’s but it seems like things have changed.
She glanced at the door with a frown, the talk from last night was still clouding up her mind. There was something wrong but she can’t change anything if he doesn’t tell her anything. She quickly shook her head and picked up her phone to message her best friend, Kim Sejeong.
How is he?
She looked up from the text and stared at the wall with a hard look. It was a simple question that had a complex answer. An answer that she doesn’t have, which made things harder.
I don’t know...he hasn’t really talked to me since our conversation.
Give him some time.
Kim Taehyung stared at the mirror with a hard look. He didn’t get much sleep last night, who would? Seeing the person you love cry because of your own foolishness could keep anyone up. That’s what made things so hard, especially right now. He glanced down at the sink as he closed his eyes and the scene replayed right before him.
Being center stage was normal for Taehyung. All eyes were on him as he expressed his feelings but this was different. The center stage that he became so familiar with was on fire and the only one that felt it was him. He stared at Y/N as she wiped tears away from her eyes, "Tae, why are you ignoring me?"
There was an answer but it couldn't leave his lips. He couldn't disappoint her....he couldn't see her eyes look at him with sadness or even pity. That would make him sick. All this was caused by his brain and nothing more.
He placed his hand on top of her knee and produced the best fake smile that he could muster, "I'm sorry love. I've been so tired."
Y/N glanced at his hand and then at his face, "Is that the truth?"
No..."Yes, let's go have dinner. I'm sorry I made you cry."
"Tae, just talk to me, please. I don't want to be left in the dark."
What kind of man am I? "You won't be in the dark."
I'll solve this for us, Y/N. Don't worry about my own foolishness. I'll become better for us.
He quickly snapped out of his thoughts when there was a knock at the door, “Baby, you’ve been in there for a long time...is everything okay?”
His fingers gripped the countertop and let out a small cough, “I’m okay...I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“I’ll start breakfast...”
He listened to her footsteps until the silence was choking him. He roughly ran his fingers through his hair as he was frustrated with himself. A foolish man with a brain that tortures him and it was all his fault. Nothing more and nothing less.
ACT I [ Three Months ago]
"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." - Pablo Neruda, from his poem "Sonnet XVII" in "100 Love Sonnets"
Y/N put her coffee back down as the glare from the Hybe building blinds her. She was sitting at a cafe across the street and on this busy morning in Korea, she was hidden away by a black piece of fabric. It was another typical morning for Y/N, to get a cup of coffee and wait for her boyfriend. Nothing more and nothing less. Well...her boyfriend was someone that everyone knew and the same goes for herself. No one in the public knew that the famous actress; L/N Y/N, was in a relationship with Kim Taehyung of Bts for four years. A secret love that was in the hands of those who were close to them and that's how it's going to be until the time is right to come out.
She whipped her head towards the door and a smile appeared under her mask when she saw her boyfriend coming in with his black coat hiding who he was. Of course, she knew it was him, she bought him that coat on their second anniversary. She had the matching one but she kept it in a special place with her other special gifts from him.
She stood up in excitement and quickly made her way towards him. He glanced towards the sudden footsteps and smiled under his mask. She wrapped her arm around his, causing him to snicker at her clinginess, “You look extra mysterious today, love.”
Taehyung let out a small laugh and glanced at his jacket, “You said you wanted me to dress up like Sherlock. I hope I did him justice.”
She gently picked up the material and smiled, “My favorite detective.”
He entwined their fingers together and walked back towards her table, “Speaking of detective...”
She rolled her eyes at this and looked away from his small smirk, “It’s just another acting gig...”
He rubbed her knuckles and kissed the top of her head, “It’s not just another gig. It’s a Netflix show, that’s incredible. I’m proud of you.”
“I’m just nervous because I’m working with people who have had more experience than me.”
They sat back at the table and he placed his hand on top of hers on the table, “I think it's exciting. Tell me about it.”
“It’s called Human Touch...I play the female lead who falls in love with the arrogant detective.”
He continued to rub her knuckles and nodded his head, “That sounds like all the books you read.”
She felt her face get hot under the mask and she pouted under the mask, “Don’t tease me. Are we still having lunch?”
“Yeah, but the restaurant we want to go to is closed today. Want to go to Jin’s?”
“Ohh, that’s free food. Let’s go!~”
Y/N and Taehyung are the friends-to-lovers story that everyone loves to read. She was Hoseok’s best friend from high school and after not seeing each other in years, Hoseok begged her to come to a concert near where she lived at the time. She just finished her second drama and her name was trending online but that didn’t mean anything to her. She was still a rookie with a famous friend. She didn’t want to be seen as a social climber. Hoseok didn’t really care about that and she finally accepted after he got his sister to ask her to come.
She entered the dressing room and looked around with wide and curious eyes. The room wasn’t what she was expecting. Honestly, she had no idea what to expect. The room was so large that it should be considered to be a living room. There were couches that were calling out her name but she knew how expensive they were. She didn’t want to get them dirty.
She glanced down at her backstage pass and took a deep breath. BTS was on a whole new level of fame. She worked with famous actors/actresses but this is so different. They were known around the world and were loved by almost everyone. It made this meeting even more nerve-wracking for her.
“Are you Hoseok-hyung’s friend?”
She turned her head and she was met with brown eyes that were really close to her own. She jumped back and tilted her head at him, “Y-Yes. Who’s asking?”
“I’m Taehyung. I just wanted to meet the person that Hoseok spent a week talking about.”
She swallowed her spit and wiped her hand on her jeans, “I hope it was good things...he knows too much about me.”
Taehyung let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “It was all good things which is why I wanted to meet you.”
“I’m nothing special.”
He shook his head and gently tapped the middle of her forehead causing her to blink in confusion, “You are special. Don’t forget that.”
She felt her face warm and a small smile formed, “The only special one here is you, Kim Taehyung.”
“I see you as someone special, L/N Y/N.”
Asking her out was the hardest thing that Taehyung encountered. He had never met someone that made him so nervous before. She was different but at the same time, she was something so familiar. They both liked to recreate their first date once in a while when they weren’t too busy with work. It was special for them.
Y/N was finishing up cleaning the kitchen when she heard a knock on the door. She raised her eyebrow in confusion, she wasn’t expecting anyone tonight. She walked towards the door and looked through the small hole.
“What the?”
She opened the door and tilted her head, “Jungkook?”
“I have a surprise for you.”
She glanced at the clock and then back at him, “It’s literally ten at night.”
“Trust me.”
She rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Fine, you're lucky I like you.”
What she thought was going to be a quick surprise turned into an hour's drive. She fell asleep in the car as Jungkook held in his laugh when he saw the drool going down her face. He gently shook her and she let out a small groan, “We’re here.”
She rubbed her eyes and looked around with a confused look, “Are we near the mountains?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god, are you killing me?”
Jungkook gave her a confused look and shook his head, “What? No, why would you think that?”
“It’s night time and we’re by the mountains where no one can hear me scream.”
“Fair…Taehyung is waiting for you by the entrance.”
She raised her eyebrow at this and glanced through the glass, “He’s waiting for me?”
“Yeah, hurry up.”
She walked towards the entrance and raised her eyebrow when she saw Taehyung leaning against the entrance sign, “Tae?”
He immediately stood up straight and gave her a boxy smile, “Y-Your here?”
“Yes?”
“He was supposed to text me…never mind that.” He leaned down and took something behind the sign. Her eyes widened at the bright roses and her mouth dropped, “Tae?”
“You said you always wanted red roses and to watch the stars.”
she glanced at the roses and then at him, “I did…you remember that?”
“I always remember what you say.”
She took the roses and smiled at them, “What does this mean?”
“I want you to be my shooting star. Will you be my star?”
It was the start of something but Y/N never thought Taehyung would see her as more. Now after four years, she’s become more confident with herself and her career. It took a long time but here she was standing strong with a smile on her face and the love of her life supporting her.
Taehyung opened the door for her and the smell of food hit her with full force. She turned towards Taehyung pulling her mask down, “I’m so excited for this. You have no idea.”
He chuckled at this and gently tapped the middle of her forehead, “It’s because you didn’t eat all day.”
She pouted at this and pulled her mask up, “Leave me alone. Let’s go eat.”
“Drinking coffee isn’t food, Y/N.”
“Then feeeeddd mee.”
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
Taehyung was in his studio typing away when the door opened. He leaned back in his chair and raised his eyebrow when he saw Jungkook panting heavily, “What happened to you?”
“Jaehyun told me something interesting.”
“How does that involve me?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone from his pocket. Taehyung continued to watch him with confused eyes, It’s eight in the morning? What could happen this early? He was met with a bright screen and he squinted his eyes at the screen to read whatever it was; NCT Jaehyun stars in a new drama with L/N Y/N. Human Touch is the highly anticipated show after the Webtoon finished in January causing fans to demand a drama. The director said it will come out somewhere between November or December making it the perfect drama for fall or winter.
Taehyung smiled at this and looked up at Jungkook, “That’s exciting.”
“I know, Jae said it took a while for SM to accept it but he was glad he got it.”
“Did he read the comic?”
Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and put his phone back in his pocket, “He said he always wanted to work with Y/N. He really admires her.”
He raised his eyebrow at this but quickly shook the uneasiness, “I’m excited for Y/N. She didn’t think she would get the part.”
“I can’t wait to watch Noona on the screen.”
“CUT! You did a good job L/N!”
Y/N smiled at this and bowed at the director. It was another day that she had to film a commercial for a lip product that turned into a photoshoot and shoot. Two for one deal. Her manager walked towards her with a smile, “I have big news.”
Y/N took a sip of her water and raised her eyebrow, “Oh?”
“Jaehyun is officially part of the cast.”
Y/N’s eyes widened at this and she placed her water on the table, “Really? That’s great. I feel like he would play the role so well.”
“With your help, SM finally accepted it.”
“That’s really exciting.” She felt her phone vibrant in her pocket and she took it out. She smiled when she saw it was Taehyung texting her, I saw the article. I’m so proud of you, love.
“There’s going to be a quick meeting regarding the drama at four this evening.”
Y/N put her phone back in her pocket and nodded at her manager, “Okay, is it with the full case? That’s really fast.”
“The director wants to meet with the two leads, that’s it.”
Y/N nodded her head and glanced at the director for her photoshoot, “I don’t have a problem. I think we're done taking the pictures.”
“I’ll go speak to the director. You wait here.”
She watched her manager go towards the director when she felt another buzz in her pocket. She took her phone out and let out a small laugh when she read the text, Why haven’t you messaged me back? :(
I’m sorry, I was talking to my manager. I’m going to meet Jaehyun today with the director. I’m really excited to meet with him, I begged for the director to get him on this project after watching his audition tape.
Oh? You asked for him?
It was between Jaehyun and Kyung-soo.
Those are good choices...Are we still up for tonight?
Of course, we are!
Taehyung placed his phone on his desk as he stared at his computer screen. She asked for him specifically? Why do I feel weird about this? He shook his head and sat up straight in his computer chair, “It’s probably nothing.”
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
She opened the door to see Taehyung on the couch sitting with Yeontan. She raised her eyebrow at this and pouted, “Tae.”
He turned his head and smiled at her from the couch, “Hey baby.”
This was weird. He usually waited by the door for her but she shrugged her shoulders and set her stuff in their right places, “You didn’t pick up when I called.”
“Sorry, I just got out of a meeting. I didn’t look at my phone.”
That was weird, part two. He always checked his phone but she let it slide because she knew he was busy with his music. She nodded her head and walked towards him with her slippers echoing through the apartment. She sat next to him and leaned her head against his arm, “The meeting went well. Jaehyun is perfect for this role.”
Taehyung nodded his head and kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy for you. What do you want for dinner?”
“Oh, Jaehyun bought me some food after the meeting. I’m okay.”
Taehyung nodded his head but he had a sharp look that Y/N didn’t notice, “What did he get you?”
“He got me japchae and yook hwei.”
How did he know that was her favorite? “Oh, that’s your favorite. That’s good he got that for you.”
“It was really sweet of him to do that. He wanted to show he was grateful for me.”
Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded his head, “For?”
“Basically telling SM to give him this role. It wasn’t easy but we won at the end of the day. I’m just glad the show is going to be so good with him on the team.”
Why is she so excited for him? “I’m glad...”
Act II [ Green Eyed]
‘There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy.’ - Lope De Vega
“Baek-hyeon, I-I-”
He rolled his eyes and turned towards Aera with an annoyed look, “You don’t believe in me? Why?”
Aera shook her head at this, “I do believe in you-”
“Then act like it.”
Aera took a step back and looked away from him. She couldn’t see the anger in his eyes, “I’m just scared for you. It’s dangerous for you.”
“I’m a detective. This is what I do.”
“CUT!”
Y/N turned towards the director and pouted, “What’s wrong?”
“The lighting made a glare in the lens. We need to re-do the scene.”
Y/N nodded her head and turned towards Jaehyun with a smile, “You did really well. I think you need to be more assertive when you say I’m a detective. It would sound better.”
“You think so? I don’t want them to hate him.”
“His personality is arrogant and he’s somewhat cold. It’s going to show good character development later on.”
Jaehyun nodded his head at her and put his fingers under his chin, “Ah, I see. I’ll make notes. Thanks.”
She watched him go to his chair as she went towards her dressing room. Even though this morning was productive, it wasn’t a good one. Taehyung left without saying goodbye to her but he texted her saying he had a surprise morning meeting. He always said goodbye to her, no matter what.
She sat in her dressing room and clicked on the person she wanted to FaceTime with, “Hey you.”
Kim Sejeong repositioned her camera and waved at her, “Hey, how’s filming?”
Y/N leaned back in her chair and smiled, “It was good. We got half of the first episode done.”
Sejeong raised her eyebrow at her tone, “What’s wrong?”
Y/N sighed and shook her head, “I think I’m overthinking.”
“You tend to do that. What’s wrong?”
“Taehyung, he didn’t say goodbye to me this morning. He always kisses the top of my head but he didn’t do it this time.”
“Did he text you?”
Y/N pouted and nodded her head, “He did…you think I’m overthinking?”
“It depends. What did the text say?”
“Sorry, I didn’t kiss you. I had a surprise meeting.”
Sejeong raised her eyebrow at this, “Is that all he said?”
“Yeah, he didn’t send his usual heart emoji to me.”
“Maybe he’s busy. It was a surprise meeting.”
Y/N nodded her head, “Maybe. The past two weeks have been crazy. I’ve been filming non-stop and it feels like I barely see him.”
“Try and squeeze him in there. Tell him you love him more.”
There was a knock on the door and she glanced at the dark wood, “Y/N, the director is ready.”
She glanced back at her phone and waved at Sejeong, “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Talk to you later. Fighting!”
Taehyung sat in the practice room with a blank expression. Y/N has been so busy with filming that she’s barely had time with her. He understood but she was spending so much time with Jaehyun that he was becoming a second thought. He knows how it is, filming and all that. Logically he understands but emotionally he doesn’t. That was the frustrating part. He knew it was stupid to feel like this but he couldn’t help it.
The door opened and Jimin raised his eyebrow to see Taehyung sitting on the ground. He set his stuff on the floor and made his way to him. Taehyung was in such deep thought that he didn’t even notice Jimin sitting next to him.
“You good?”
Taehyung jumped and turned to see Jimin’s concerned eyes, “You scared me.”
“I didn’t mean to. You look like you got stuff on your mind.”
“I do.”
“You want to talk about it?”
Taehyung sat there for a minute and thought about it. If he told Jimin then he would suggest talking to Y/N and he really didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want Y/N to know how he was feeling because it was wrong for him to feel like that. She has never felt jealous with all the dating rumors he got with other girls. He couldn’t tell her that he was jealous because of this. It didn’t make sense to feel that way.
“No, it’s just something stupid.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure. Don’t worry.”
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
Y/N and Taehyung were on a date and Y/N planned the whole day. After talking with Sejeong, she decided that on her next day off she was going to spend the whole day with Taehyung. She was going to do everything they like to do together today. It’s been about a month since they really had a date, a real date. They had quick lunches but she didn’t consider those to be dates,
She’s also noticed that Taehyung has been acting differently. At first, she thought she was overthinking but now she knew it wasn’t her mind playing games. There was something wrong with him. She kinda figured that it was because she wasn’t really talking to him or spending time with him. It was her fault that there was miscommunication and she wanted to say sorry for it.
They walked in the private park near their apartment and she planned to have a simple picnic. It was a nice day, the sun was out after a long week of rain. It was finally sunny, it was a sign from the universe to fix their problem.
They sat near the small pound and she took out all of the sandwiches that she made for the day. She sent the last drink and looked at him with a smile, “I made all your favorites. They ran out of your tea so I got the lemonade you like. Is that okay?”
Taehyung picked up a sandwich and nodded his head, “It’s fine.”
She smiled at this and looked across the pond, “It’s a nice day. I’m glad I get to spend the day with you.”
“I am too.”
She looked back at him and she frowned a little, “I’m sorry that I haven’t really been talking to you that much. I feel bad...I noticed that you haven’t really talked to me. I’m sorry that I only noticed until a couple of days ago.”
Taehyung stopped eating and stared at the pink blanket. I made her feel like this? It’s so stupid that I feel like this. It’s not worth making her sad. He put down the sandwich and looked at her with a small smile, “It’s my fault too. I have a phone, I know how to use it. Don’t apologize.”
She placed her hand on top of his and shook her head, “You always text me first. I should’ve texted you first. I wanted this date to be perfect.”
Taehyung gave her a small smile and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on her lips, “It is perfect.”
Right before she could say something, her phone buzzed. She picked her phone up and unlocked it to see Jaehyun texted her, I was wondering if tonight we can practice our lines together. I’m having a hard time with this upcoming scene
Of course, we can. Is it the ice skating scene?
Yeah, I don’t know how to express his feelings and I can’t land my lines
Don’t worry I’ll help you. Is seven good?
That’s perfect, thanks
No problem
Y/N put her phone back and she smiled at him, “I’m just glad I can spend time with you. I missed you.”
“Who was that?”
She raised her eyebrow and glanced at her phone then back at him, “It was just Jaehyun. He needed help with a scene.”
Taehyung felt his chest tighten. That was the second time that Jaehyun asked for help. He knew acting was hard but to ask for help constantly from her, that’s weird. Well to him. Logically it makes sense to ask for help but he didn’t want it to be her. He took a bit from his sandwich and nodded his head, “How’s it going with filming?”
Y/N took a sip of her lemonade and smiled, “It’s been so good. All the scenes look really good and I’m so excited for you to see the final product. I worked really hard.”
“I know you’ve been working hard. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you, baby.
He tried his best to smile but it was really hard especially when his chest hurts, “How’s Jaehyun?”
“He’s been working really hard. This is his first real acting gig and he’s improving with each shoot. I knew he was the perfect choice.”
Perfect choice....”I’m glad..”
“Tae, are you okay?
“I am. Why?”
She tilted her head and frowned at him, “There’s something on your mind...I can tell. You can tell me anything.”
This has nothing to do with you...It’s my own dumb thoughts. He leaned towards her and placed a kiss on her forehead, “I’m just stressed about work. That’s all.”
“I’ll yell at Namjoon for making you work so much. You need a break.”
My brain needs a break from everything. “You need a break too, baby.”
“Let’s watch our anime today and just watch the clouds. That would be perfect.”
“It will be, love.”
They laid back and watched the romance anime that they started together. It was a cute anime, a simple school anime but nevertheless, they loved it. Taehyung glanced at Y/N who was snuggling up into his side. She was so beautiful, especially in moments like this. He turned his attention back to the screen and his smile disappeared. He watched the female lead kiss another guy for a play they were holding. He watched the male lead leave the stage and he couldn’t help but feel seen at that moment. It was silly to find an anime to resonate with you.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
She sighed at the phone and tossed it onto her table. It’s been two months and Taehyung is acting worse now. He barely texted her and when they were in the same room he barely talked to her. She knew she was lacking on her half of the chorus and she knew that all her reasons were sounding like excuses now. She didn’t want Taehyung to feel like she was taking advantage of him. That was the last thing she wanted him to feel.
She walked out of her dressing room and entered the meeting room. She bowed to everyone and sat next to Jaehyun with a smile on her face, “Do you know what this meeting is for?”
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his water, “I heard it’s about a scene.”
“Scene?”
The director let out a small cough and smiled at everyone, “The next scene is going to be a tough one. Jaehyun, you will have a stunt double jumping off a building while it’s raining. The scene itself is Baek-hyeon and Aera’s first kiss. Aera will kiss Baek-hyeon out of panic for his safety but Baek-hyeon will not acknowledge it because he knows it was out of panic. This scene is going to show Aera finally accepting her feelings towards Baek-hyeon. Today let’s take a break and come back tomorrow for this scene.”
Y/N smiled at this and looked at Jaehyun, “Your first stunt double. That’s exciting.”
“It is. I like the story so far.”
“I do too. You want to get lunch?”
“Lunch sounds good.”
They stood up and bowed to everyone as they made their way out of the office. Jaehyun opened the door for her and they headed towards a restaurant right across their building. They talked about random things, Jaehyun told her about his solo album that he was working on but he had no idea when it was going to come out. She told him that after this drama, she is going to take a small break and focus on her personal life.
They sat together and clinked their beer bottles together, “Baek-hyeon!”
“Aera!~”
She let out a small laugh and took her phone out to send a text to Taehyung, I’m eating with Jaehyun! I’ll be home in an hour. I love you.
Be safe. Love u.
Taehyung stood in his bedroom and frowned at himself. This was the second dinner that Y/N missed. He knew it was his fault for not voicing his feelings but what was he supposed to say to her? “Stop hanging out with Jaehyun because I feel insecure.” That sounded ridiculous because he had no right to be insecure with their relationship. He had everything he could ask for. An apartment, a dog he loves, a girlfriend that he wants to marry someday, and a job that will help his family for the rest of his life. What more can he ask for?
He got up and decided to take a quick walk around the neighborhood. The fresh air can help him clear his mind. He put the leash on Yeontan and locked up his house. The walk was nice. There was a light wind that put him at ease and the smell of the flowers made him think of Y/N. It was truly relaxing.
Y/N let out a laugh and leaned back in her chair, “I would love to meet Mark. I think I would get along with him.”
“I think so too.”
She took the final sip of her beer and smiled, “I think I’m done for the night.”
“Let me get you a ride.”
Y/N shook her head and took her phone out, “I’ll do it. Don’t worry.”
“No, let me. I want to make sure you get home safe.”
“Fine, I’ll pay for your food next time.”
Jaehyun smiled at this and took his jacket off of his chair, “Perfect.”
Jaehyun waited for the car and opened the door for her and waved at her, “Have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Thank you, Jae. Get home safely.”
“I will.”
Y/N leaned her head against the glass and let out a deep sigh. She was feeling better after going out and having fun. She didn’t think about her stress at home and was finally able to clear her mind. Maybe now she could tell Taehyung how much she missed him. She rushed her way into the building and she was so excited to see him that she didn’t notice her hair tie falling out of her hair. She opened the door and she smiled when she saw Taehyung in the living room holding Yeontan in his arms.
She rushed towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist causing him to jump at the sudden action. He set Yeontan down and turned around to see Y/N already looking at him, “Y/N?”
“I missed you.”
He smiled to himself and kissed the top of her head, “I missed you more.”
“I have the rest of the night off.”
“You want to relax?”
“Can we have a bath? We’ve been so busy and I just want to be in your arms.”
He felt warmth spread through his body and wrapped his arms around her waist, “I’ll hold you.”
Something within him changed and she felt his tight grip on her ass as he pushed her against the wall near the bathroom. He tasted the alcohol but he ignored it because all he saw was her, “T-Tae.”
She gasped against his lips but hearing her say his name made his mind blinded with the need of her. His grip only tightened as he ground his hips against hers, “Y/N.”
“C-Can’t we go to the bedroom?”
“No.” He muttered, lips moving down her neck with his teeth scraping over her collarbone, “I need you now.”
He dragged her back to the couch with his hands already ripping off her clothes as he pushed her down into the cushions. The look in his eyes was something that she missed. It’s been a while since they had sex. It was due to their crazy work schedule but that all changes tonight, “I missed you.”
He yanked off his shirt and smiled down at her, “Missed you more.” His hands traced every curve of her body, squeezing her thighs, and his rough fingers brushing over her nipples. He kissed down to her stomach and spread open her legs to get what he wanted. Her clit in his mouth, sucking on it like he was dying. The way he worked his tongue made sure she remembered what it was like to be with him.
He stood up and cussed under his breath, “Let me get a condom.”
“I-I’ll be here...”
She watched him leave and she couldn’t help but laugh. She propped herself up on the couch with her on all fours waiting for him. When he entered back, he couldn’t help the smirk appearing. He slid the condom on and rubbed her back, “Good girl.”
“Tae, I need you.”
He didn’t bother with responding and pushed himself into her. He felt her pussy clenched around his cock and he couldn’t help but let out a groan, “I’m the only one that makes you feel like this.”
“O-Only you.”
“It’s always going to be me.”
He let out another groan, sliding deeper into her. He missed this. Her in his arms and just loving each other. It was his fault but maybe the feelings will go away now that they're together. He looked down at her and seeing her whimper just made him feel his heart swell. He rubbed her hips gently as he continued to thrust into her. Her breath caught in her throat and a breathy gasp escaped.
She spasmed around him and she felt her body shiver at the feeling. Taehyung put two fingers in her mouth and she would never deny him. He brought the fingers down to her clit, making her back arched. He felt himself release into the condom and he leaned down kissing her neck. They pressed their forehead together and he kissed her lips, “I love you.”
“I love you more. So much more, Y/N.”
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
“Taehyung, are you going to watch me film?”
Taehyung smiled at her and nodded his head, “You watched me film for my music video. I need to do the same with you now.”
Y/N smiled and nodded her head as she put her jacket on, “I’m excited. It’s one of the final scenes.”
Taehyung put on his shoes and nodded his head, “Oh, what’s the scene?”
“Baek-hyeon and Aera kiss but they're not together yet. It’s just her realizing that she liked him.”
“You're going to kiss Jaehyun today?”
She turned towards him and nodded her head, “Yeah, it’s our first kissing scene and I’m hoping it’s a one-take.”
Taehyung nodded his head and ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m hoping that too...”
She raised her eyebrow and tilted her head, “What was that?”
“Nothing, just having a hard time putting my shoes on.”
They got into his car and he couldn’t focus on anything she was talking about. He kept picturing her kissing Jaehyun. He knew it was for a show but seeing her kiss Jaehyun was different. She wanted Jaehyun on this project and he couldn’t let that go. She was so excited for him to be on this, how was going to focus?
“Tae, are you okay?”
He parked the car and turned towards her with a small smile, “I’m okay. Are you ready?”
“Always.”
He sat in the background and he saw the chemistry that she had with Jaehyun. He felt his chest tighten when he saw Jaehyun pushing some hair back, touching her face gently. He watched Y/N wrap her arms around his neck and brought him into a kiss. The kiss was like their first kiss, shocking but passionate. He hated it.
“CUT! ONE MORE TAKE!”
This was going to kill him. He knows it. He leaned more into the chair and tried his best to ignore the kissing scene but he couldn’t help it. His eyes always moved up from his phone and watched Y/N kiss him. Over and over again.
It's been a rule, if you date an actor or actress you have to be strong. Especially when you see them kissing another for their new drama. Why is it so hard to be strong?
Final Act [ Don’t Leave Me Please ]
“Now my forever’s falling down’ - V, Sweet Night
It was the early morning, the streets were still empty as the sun gently entered the buildings waking everyone up from their deep sleep. Y/N slowly opened her eyes when she heard a cabinet close from the bathroom. She let out a small groan and turned towards the clock on her nightstand, 07:35 am. She ran her hand through her messy hair as she let a deep sigh out. Today was supposed to be her day off, and so was Taehyung’s but it seems like things have changed.
She glanced at the door with a frown, the talk from last night was still clouding up her mind. There was something wrong but she can’t change anything if he doesn’t tell her anything. She quickly shook her head and picked up her phone to message Sejeong.
How is he?
She looked up from the text and stared at the wall with a hard look. It was a simple question that had a complex answer. An answer that she doesn’t have, which made things harder.
I don’t know...he hasn’t really talked to me since our conversation.
Give him some time.
Taehyung stared at the mirror with a hard look. He didn’t get much sleep last night, who would? Seeing the person you love cry because of your own foolishness could keep anyone up. That’s what made things so hard, especially right now. He glanced down at the sink as he closed his eyes and the scene replayed right before him.
Being center stage was normal for Taehyung. All eyes were on him as he expressed his feelings but this was different. The center stage that he became so familiar with was on fire and the only one that felt it was him. He stared at Y/N as she wiped tears away from her eyes, "Tae, why are you ignoring me?"
There was an answer but it couldn't leave his lips. He couldn't disappoint her....he couldn't see her eyes look at him with sadness or even pity. That would make him sick. All this was caused by his brain and nothing more.
He placed his hand on top of her knee and produced the best fake smile that he could muster, "I'm sorry love. I've been so tired."
Y/N glanced at his hand and then at his face, "Is that the truth?"
No..."Yes, let's go have dinner. I'm sorry I made you cry."
"Tae, just talk to me, please. I don't want to be left in the dark."
What kind of man am I? "You won't be in the dark."
I'll solve this for us, Y/N. Don't worry about my own foolishness. I'll become better for us.
He quickly snapped out of his thoughts when there was a knock at the door, “Baby, you’ve been in there for a long time...is everything okay?”
His fingers gripped the countertop and let out a small cough, “I’m okay...I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“I’ll start breakfast...”
He listened to her footsteps until the silence was choking him. He roughly ran his fingers through his hair as he was frustrated with himself. A foolish man with a brain that tortures him and it was all his fault. Nothing more and nothing less.
Taehyung has been like this for weeks now. Ever since the kiss, she knew something was really wrong. Not even his members could answer her and that’s what made everything so frustrating. No one knew what was wrong with him.
She was home now, filming was over with and she thought things would change but nothing. Taehyung was still acting like she wasn’t there. The next month would be when she would go overseas for the next episodes and she wouldn't see him. She needed to settle this now before things got worse.
Taehyung entered the kitchen and she sighed at his aura. She turned towards him with her arms crossed, “Tae, Jae invited us to his concert tonight. I was thinking-”
“I don’t want to go.”
Y/N frowned at this and shook her head at this, “Why? It would be a good date-”
“I just don’t want to go. You can have fun with Jaehyun.”
She rolled her eyes and took her breakfast, “Fine.”
He watched her leave the kitchen and he couldn’t help but feel like shit. He continued to make her upset but she was doing this for her. If he didn’t see Jaehyun then he wouldn’t feel the way he does. It would benefit the both of them but he couldn’t tell her this. He didn’t want to explain how he felt. It was hard for him to understand, he still didn’t understand how he felt or maybe he did but he didn’t want to voice it. He looked down at his food and felt sick to his stomach, he kept fucking up and he hated himself for that.
She ate in the living room and ignored him sitting next to her. She was just focusing on her phone and she texted Sejeong again. He doesn’t want to go to the concert with me.
Y/N...have you ever considered that he could be jealous?
What? Why would he be jealous?
Just think about it.
She glanced up from her phone and then at him, jealous? Why would Taehyung be jealous?
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
The concert was amazing, she was finally going to meet NCT and she was so excited to do so. She was upset that Taehyung wasn’t with her but she tried her best to ignore that. She walked towards backstage and waved her hand at Jaehyun with excitement. She gave him a friendly hug and patted his back, “You were amazing out there.”
“Thanks, Y/N, it means a lot. Did Taehyung not come?”
She frowned and shook her head, “He didn’t want to come.”
“I’m sorry Y/N. I thought this concert would bring you two together...not push you further apart.”
“What do you mean?”
Jaehyun let out a small chuckle and shook his head, “You don’t see it?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Y/N, Taehyung is jealous.”
She let out a small laugh and rolled her eyes, “He can’t be-”
“Why? Why can’t he feel jealous?”
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at him, “He’s never jealous. I tried making him jealous before we started dating and he never showed me signs.”
“He probably was jealous and never showed you...I would be jealous if I saw my girlfriend kiss another guy in front of me.”
“But he knows this is my job.”
Jaehyun shook his head at this, “It doesn’t matter. You can’t stop the heart.”
Y/N looked down at the ground and then back at Jaehyun with a guilty face, “Oh my god...I noticed that he was acting differently but I always assumed it was because of me...I thought it was because I was working so much.”
“This is why you guys talk to each other. You can solve a lot of problems by talking.”
Y/N let out a frustrated groan and shook her head, “Shut up, I don’t need this right now. I’m going home to fix it.”
“Tell him I said hi.”
She ignored him and made her way out of the arena. She didn’t even realize how fast she was walking until she bumped into someone. She looked up to say sorry but her eyes widened when she saw who it was, “Taehyung?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come with you. I was acting childish for not speaking up when something was wrong.”
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist, “No, I’m stupid because I noticed something was wrong but I didn’t do anything to fix it.”
“No, I didn’t voice anything to you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
She was about to disagree but Taehyung brought her into a kiss, a sweet quick kiss. He put their foreheads together and smiled, “I’ll tell you more when we get home but I just needed to kiss you.”
“I liked it...Jaehyun told me you were jealous. Before we go, can you tell me.”
Taehyung sighed and glanced at the wall with a guilty look, “Yeah...I was jealous. I’ll tell you more at home.”
She nodded her head and made their way to his car, hand in hand. For the first time, they didn’t care if they were seen. The car ride was quiet as he moved his way in and out of the busy streets. She sat down on their couch and she looked up at him with eyes that made him feel safe. He ran his fingers through his hair and turned back at her, “I talked to Yoongi...”
“Oh? When?”
“When you left...”
Taehyung sighed to himself as he sat back on his bed. He felt guilty but he couldn’t see Y/N cheer for Jaehyun. It was too much for him. He grabbed his phone and dialed the person that always helped him, “Hello?”
“Hyung, I need help.”
Yoongi sighed into his phone, “Is everything okay? Did you do something stupid again-”
“I’m jealous of Jaehyun.”
“Wait, you're jealous?”
Taehyung sighed and laid on the bed looking up at the ceiling with a blank face, “I’m jealous of seeing him with Y/N. It’s so stupid because I know it’s her job and all this-”
“Tae, you can’t control how you feel. It happens.”
“I never feel like this. I shouldn’t be jealous, I have everything I could ever ask for.”
Yoongi sighed again and Taehyung could imagine him shaking his head, “It doesn’t matter what you have, sometimes you can’t help it. It’s okay to feel like that but you have to tell Y/N. I’m going to guess you didn’t tell her.”
Taehyung rubbed his forehead roughly, “No...I was hiding it from her.”
“How long?”
“Four months....”
“Dude, you're stupid. Go talk to her, now. Before I go down there and cut your hair.”
Y/N let out a small laugh and shook her head, “I can see Yoongi say that...Taehyung, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I felt like it was stupid. You were never jealous of what I do and I felt like if I was jealous...it would show you I’m not strong enough.”
Y/N stood up from the couch and stood in front of him. She pushed some hair back and shook her head, “You're strong to me. It makes you stronger when you talk about your feelings.”
“I know that now...It was because you wanted Jaehyun on this project. You were so excited to be in this series that it made me feel...it made me feel jealous that you wanted him. I thought it was because you had feelings for him or something. It’s stupid.”
“Stop saying that, it’s not stupid. It’s how you feel. I wanted Jaehyun because he wanted me to help him with his acting. I also saw how well he acted in his tape and it would be stupid of me to deny him. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
“I just wanted to show you that I’m supportive.”
“I already knew that, Tae.”
She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. He smiled at her and leaned his forehead against hers, “I asked for the next couple of months off so I could go with you to film.”
“Really!?”
He nodded his head and kissed the tip of her nose, “I’ll show you how I’m the supportive boyfriend. Even if I’m jealous sometimes...”
She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “My little jelly bean.”
He rolled his eyes and pushed some hair back, “Please don’t leave me.”
“I would never leave you...ever.”
Epilogue
“I need you like a heart needs a beat” - One Republic
Y/N put her earring in when the dressing room door opened. She turned around and smiled, “You look great.”
Taehyung fixed his tie and smirked at her. He slowly walked up to her and one finger trailed from her cleavage to her chin, “I could say the same.”
She was wearing a black sequin dress that showed off her curves perfectly. Taehyung always went weak when she had bright red lipstick, it made him want to eat her out right there. Y/N pulled his tie to give him a quick kiss, “Are you going to be jealous tonight? You're going to see me kiss Jaehyun on the big screen.”
“Keep teasing me like that and I’ll make the press write an interesting story.”
“What do you mean?”
“Why is Y/N limping?”
She felt her face get hot and she smacked his chest, “You're so annoying.”
“But I’m yours.”
She let out a small laugh and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, “You're all mine. Forever.” As she said this, her ring shined under the dim dressing room light. The press was going to have a field day with that but they didn’t care. This was their universe and we were just living in it.
#bts reactions#bts scenarios#bts imagines#bts jungkook#bts namjoon#bts seokjin#bts taehyung#bts jimin#bts yoongi#bts x reader#bts hosoek#Bts#bts taehyung x reader#taehyung x reader#bts fanfction#bts fanfic
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In-Depth Character Analysis On All The DR Characters Because What, Are You Gonna Try And Stop Me? Who Are You, My Mom? Yeah, I Didn't Think So- Part 5: Junko Enoshima
Oh boy, this is gonna be a big one. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised at all if this turns out to be the longest analysis in this entire series of ~100 characters. Why did I not save her for last. Why is this part 5. Why do I do this to myself-
Jokes aside, I am so so so excited to make this; Junko has become the face of this franchise for a reason, and the depth of her character and role in the series as a whole is massive. I won't be surprised if this takes over a month to complete. In fact, just for fun, let's track it. I'm starting the analysis on 7/5/24. When will we finish? Nobody knows!
(Final edit Crane here. It has been more than 5 months. Christ.)
This analysis uses only official material for the sake of analyzing the character, primarily sourcing official English localizations. It'll be um, lengthy, to say the least, so if you aren't that interested, just keep scrolling. Also, if there's even one canon installation of Danganronpa that you haven't played/watched/read yet (THH, DR0, SDR2, UDG, DR3, and/or V3) don't read this; the ripple effect of Junko in every corner of the franchise will be discussed and thus, there will be spoilers aplenty.
Also, a disclaimer that though I try to remain as objective as possible with these analyses, it will be at its core, an interpretation. Not everything will match up with how you interpret it, and that's okay! I don't claim to be perfect, and this isn't an infallible source of canon, only my interpretation of the source. Let's get into it!
Foreword
Real quick, before we get too far in: readers of my previous analyses know that I normally try to move in chronological order of release and events in-game to keep the analyses easier to follow. Due to the nature of Junko's characterization and the fact that she's present throughout the entire series, that isn't really possible here, as to talk about any one aspect of her, I may need to pull from multiple installations. I'll be sure to cite where I'm pulling from and provide evidence where necessary, but it definitely won't be perfectly in order by release or timeline. So hopefully it won't be too messy. Also, characters very closely tied to Junko, like Monokuma, Ryoko, Mukuro, etc. will be analyzed separately at a later date, so those sections may end up feeling incomplete as a result. For the sake of releasing this before 2025, I need to cut corners a little bit and focus primarily on how these relationships affect Junko, and not the other way around.
Part 1- Monokuma
In order to understand Junko, you must first have a basic understanding of Monokuma, mascot of the Danganronpa series and self-declared Headmaster of Hope's Peak Academy. Monokuma introduces himself to the cast as their superior and oversees the killing games, providing motives and passing judgement on the class trials, all while reveling in the Despair of the students. There are multiple iterations of Monokuma, but most of them exist in order to carry out the killing games without issue.
Like Junko, Monokuma remained a staple of the franchise, appearing in every official installment, whether he was being actively piloted by Junko or not. As we see in DR3: Despair Arc, she personally designed him to become the face of her movement of Despair, and thus, he was used to carry out her will at every turn.
1.1- Trigger Happy Havoc
In the first DR game, Monokuma was just a robot piloted by Junko. His mannerisms were a character invented by her to appear as the psychopathic Headmaster, but regardless, her true nature of Despair is directly infused into the character as she acts him out. Through him, she's able to reveal hidden information about each of her classmates and torment them personally, all without them knowing she was once a dear friend to them. As a robot, though, he came with drawbacks- Junko couldn't pilot him and watch the cameras at the same time, and once the charade of his all-seeing Headmaster was seen through by Kyoko, he lost most of his power. Thus, Monokuma's existence was designed to deceive, and could only function through deception. He created the illusion that hope was outside, that escape was solely on his terms, and that the class had no unification- all according to Junko's design.
1.2- Goodbye Despair
When the sequel game arrived, Monokuma was once again a character being played by Junko. Unlike last time, however, the two had blended together, becoming one and the same. This Monokuma was a Despair Virus, created with Chihiro's Alter Ego technology, and implanted into the Neo World Program with the intent of continuing the real Junko's plans for the spread of Despair. This version of Monokuma is extremely similar to the previous in terms of its personality and beliefs, but appears much more powerful within the artificially generated world, now able to apparently power-up, bleed, and transform plushies into duplicates without logical explanation.
Rather than targeting certain themes in an attempt to teach Despair, this Monokuma created directly-targeted motives, attempting to use class 77's personal connections to a whole other level and banking on the fact they were friends, rather than try to cover it up. He also acts as if they're his dear friends and like they're on the same side, directly inverse to his apparent attitude towards class 78. This is intentional, though as to why, we'll get into much later.
1.3- Ultra Despair Girls
Rather than being present as a character, Monokuma exists solely as mascot in this game, as thousands of Monokumas are programmed and piloted to slaughter the majority of adults in Towa City. He exists solely as a tool used by the Warriors of Hope.
In chapter 4 of the game, you get the reveal that all the physical Monokumas that exist were built and sold in Towa Group's factories, and later, that Monaca Towa was directly responsible. This exists to demonstrate how Junko was able to financially and physically afford the amount of power and technology she accrued in her crusade for Despair. More on this later.
1.4- Danganronpa 3- Future Arc
Near the end of the first episode, Monokuma seemingly appears on a monitor in the meeting room of Future Foundation's HQ, announcing his survival and a return of the killing games, starting with the Future Foundation higher-ups. At the beginning of the following episode, an act is put on between this version of the character and "Miaya Gekkogahara", as they fake an argument where Monokuma alters her avatar Usami into Monomi, making it appear as though he's again being piloted by a real person from some remote location.
As the season comes to a close, though, we learn that it was the chairman who set up the killing game, and that Monokuma's appearance, along with the video that would play during every nap, were falsified recordings, aided in part by Monaca Towa pretending to be Miaya. Thus, his likeness was used for a cheap recreation in an attempt to manipulate one person and kill nearly everyone else in charge of the Future Foundation, all set in motion by Junko's own brainwashing videos.
1.5- Killing Harmony
This is the only version of Monokuma that Junko herself doesn't have a hand in recreating, and is the only time he exists solely as a robot personality of his own accord. Created by Team Danganronpa, he's a physical conception of the fictional character Monokuma in-universe, and thus, is a character in his own right. Birthed by a Motherkuma machine for the mastermind's benefit, Monokuma acts once again as Headmaster, but a significant amount of soul is noticably absent from the presentation. This is in part due to the amount of focus on the Monokubs, using their unique characteristics for comic gags with the cast in the way Monokuma used to in the previous games, and his appearance feels like more of a checkbox than an actual return of Monokuma. Simply put, without Junko's influence, Monokuma's character becomes more flat, and starts to fade into the background in a convoluted mess of references and callbacks. All of which is done on purpose- Monokuma is a facet of Junko, and without Junko, Monokuma becomes empty.
Part 2- Character Design
Junko Enoshima is designed as a gyaru, a subgenre of fashion known for its more 'rebellious' style. She's dressed in a modified uniform, with a black jacket with her sleeves rolled up and unbuttoned, allowing her cleavage and bra to show, with a black-and-white tie, a red bow, and a red plaid miniskirt. She also has Monokuma pins holding up her ponytails- one with the white half, and one with the black half. Asymmetricality and the use of exclusively black, white, and red all align her with Monokuma, an asymmetrical black-and-white bear with a red eye. She has styled blonde hair and blue eyes, and has the title of SHSL Gyaru, or Ultimate Fashionista.
2.1- What's A Gyaru?
Gyaru as a fashion style first originated in the 1970s, emerging from Japanese women's nonconformist desire to embrace their own sexuality and rebel against societal standards of the traditional housewife. As time passed and more women latched onto the trend, it became a major point of discussion, initially shaming these women for being too racy or delinquent, before shifting to an increase in streetwear fashion and being recognized as its own genre of fashion, evolving with new subgenres as time continued to pass. It went from a wholly shameful style to an expensive, trendy one as expressly gyaru clothes started to be made and sold in stores. The increase in popularity also led to discussions of placing laws against child prostitution, as younger girls were getting into the expensive fashion and started finding alternative ways to afford this showy clothing.
There are many, many subgenres of gyaru known, but Junko Enoshima is specifically referred to as a kogal or kogyaru, a high-school gyaru. Her school uniform is modified into a showy jacket and miniskirt with big bows, she wears knee-high boots, and her hair is blonde, implied to be dyed based off of the common hair-dying of kogals. In DR 0, we also see her with red hair and eyes as opposed to the blonde and blue, suggesting that red may be her natural hair and eye color. Kogal culture has a lot of stereotypes around it regarding the extracurricular activities of the girls who subscribe to it, but the general idea around it is for the girls that participate in it to break social norms and claim their sexuality for themselves to get what they want, all within a consumerist guise. This type of mentality matches Junko extremely well, as a character bent on breaking the world for her own pleasures by advertising herself as Despair.
Part 3- The Mastermind Reveal (THH)
We don't actually meet Junko Enoshima until the final showdown in THH, though we are well-acquainted with the idea of her before then, as not only do we meet an imposter-Junko in the first chapter, but her magazines are specifically shown to us in the intro of the game, and are scattered throughout the school(laundry room). There are also little hints as to her identity as mastermind sprinkled into the game.
"Whenever I spot a cute girl, I have a tendency to stare. I can't help it- I just gaze with intensity. The other day, I rode my bike to the train station... I was in the bathroom, just looking at myself in the mirror..." -Monokuma Theatre, THH
Despite these hints, the characters don't know who the mastermind is yet, only being able to reason at her motivations for the killing game and why it came to be based off of what clues Monokuma leaves out for them, like how the main track that plays when interacting with Monokuma is called '100 Mile Junk Food Dash'.
"But first, I have a question for you... Who are you? What do you want from us?" "Well, if you really must know... Despair. That's all." -Kyoko Kirigiri & Monokuma, THH
"And for those of us who represent hope to kill each other and sink into Despair... The mastermind wants the world to see that, to try and prove that Despair is better than hope." -Kyoko Kirigiri, THH
We know that whoever this mastermind piloting Monokuma is, they're someone that's engineering this entire killing game expressly to spread Despair. With the knowledge that the killing game is being televised, that Despair isn't just for the students, but is being put on display for the entire world to see. Manufacturing and televising such a sadistic game using public figureheads under governmental protection is a behavior akin to terrorism (Despairism?) and is an act that, by itself, seems nigh impossible for some high-school student to be capable of. Yet, we know it is a high-schooler- Monokuma insists that the only people involved in the killing game are the 16 students of their class.
Through the investigations of chapters 5 and 6, it becomes increasingly more apparent that whoever this SHSL Despair is, Junko has some level of involvement. For example, more observant players will recognize Mukuro's corpse almost immediately as 'Junko's' from chapter 1, as her bright red nails and the same high-heeled, red-laced boots are clearly visible. And while this doesn't immediately incriminate Junko herself, it does at least call into question the identity of the dead SHSL Despair, as the body being Mukuro's isn't ever really contested(save for a 'dumb Hiro' gag insisting it's Kyoko while standing next to Kyoko).
"And don't forget about the Fenrir tattoo. There's absolutely no mistake... Our victim in this case is, without a doubt, Mukuro Ikusaba...!" -Kyoko Kirigiri, THH
Throughout the final investigation, the player's job is to solve 'all the mysteries of the school', AKA their erased memories and the identity of the mastermind. This investigation intentionally doesn't talk about Junko, voiding her involvement to the point that her own face is scrubbed from the evidence. The hints given by Monokuma picture Junko's face covered up in every photo, and the recordings of the students agreeing to live in the school is cut off before it can cycle over to her. It's not her presence that matters, it's the lack of presence, because we haven't actually met her yet, juxtaposed to the repeated mentions of Mukuro, a girl who'd been a part of the group since the very beginning without anyone realizing.
When we do realize this, it comes with the realization that Mukuro's and 'Junko's' body were one and the same, and with Kyoko's old pocketbook revealing that "Despair walks among us, and so we survive... There's a second 'Despair'", we can come to the conclusion that the reason the mastermind was able to pull this off was because there was actually more than one, working in sync, and thus, the reason both bodies were one was because they were the SHSL Despair together.
Part 4- The Despair Sisters: Mutual Abuse (CW: Incest)
Despite the fact Junko was the brains behind the operation, there was never really a time where she was working alone towards Despair. She was actually one of two Ultimate Despair- as she called them, the Despair Sisters. Her twin sister, Mukuro Ikusaba, was Ultimate Despair as well, and assisted her every step of the way.
In her first appearance, we don't actually get to know anything about her, as she spends her time with the class pretending to be Junko. As such, any and all information gathered on Mukuro is given by someone else- official school records state her title and physical attributes, and Junko tells us her role as Ultimate Despair and goes on about her flaws.
"She had what I call the 'three atrocities'- atrociously rank, atrociously filthy, atrociously repulsive. It was atrociously clear just how out of touch she was with the rest of society." -Junko Enoshima, THH
"The older sister, tough and proud, that was Mukuro. The younger sister, smart and cute, that was... Hyaaaahaha! Me! Junko fucking Enoshima! And together, we were the Despair Sisters! AKA, the Ultimate Despair!" -Junko Enoshima, THH
Mukuro reappears as herself in DR 0 and DR3's Despair Arc, as well as the official AU novel DR IF. In these, we get more insight into her feelings, and see her display an overt attraction to her sister at multiple instances.
"Consumed by ecstasy, even Ikusaba-san's breath became ragged. 'Only I am able to understand her. That's why she needs me. She still hasn't realized that but, maybe she's only pretending not to realize. Ufu, that's because she's so shy. Ufufufu.' Seeing this intoxicated Ikusaba-san continue to talk like that repelled me. I knew that she definitely didn't have normal feelings for Junko Enoshima". -"Mukuro Ikusaba" & Ryoko Otonashi, DR 0
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This is pretty obviously incestuous in nature. She blushes at her sister's attempts to kill her with an ice pick, has an internal dialogue about how much said attention affects her, and 'goes into ecstasy' talking about her sister's madness. It's intentionally uncomfortable because it's intentionally incestuous*. I've seen arguments for Mukuro's behaviors being out of character and only there for fanservice in the anime, but this behavior being found in DR 0 first pretty clearly contradicts that. I've also seen an argument for Mukuro's behavior being an act meant to make Junko feel Despair and not having any legitimacy. The crux of the argument comes from the assertion in DR IF that Mukuro is able to numb her emotions in battle, so therefore, she could also mimic such an attraction when around her sister. This argument quickly falls apart as well, considering that a) she has both internal and external dialogue directly referencing her attraction where Junko can't actually hear her, and b) going numb in the heat of battle is not at all the same thing as faking sexual desire outright.
*(Mukuro being incestuous is immediately relevant to the way the Despair Sisters interact with each other, and understanding that I'm talking about their relationship under the lens that she is will hopefully prevent questions about why I'm talking about them as I am throughout the analysis, particularly when she pops up in other sections here and there later. Please do not go into the replies or reblogs and explain to me why I'm wrong; you are not going to change my mind. Believe it or not, I don't like Despaircest either, but that doesn't mean Mukuro's behavior in canon is some accident to be shrugged off. These are meant to be OBJECTIVE analyses. I'm going to look at what the games and novels and anime are presenting, whether I actually like all the points or not.)
Junko Enoshima yearns for Despair. Despair is her reason for being, and everything she does, she does with the intent of eventually bringing Despair upon herself. That pain of Despair is the strongest feeling in the world to her. And the way she treats Mukuro directly stems from that desire. Despair stems from grief, and what brings more grief then the people you love most despising you? Mukuro is her twin sister, who stands by her no matter what. Junko even tests this, having her kill an entire class of students to prove her strength and loyalty in manga series Killer Killer(though, admittedly, Killer Killer hasn't been confirmed as canon to my knowledge, it still aligns with what we know for both characters without altering anything about their characterization).
Mukuro is capable- very capable, and definitely has the ability to betray her, or even kill her if she wanted to. So at every turn, she treats Mukuro like garbage, actively trying to kill her with an ice pick when they first reunite and talking down to her at every opportunity. She describes her sister as fat, flat-chested, ugly, stupid, a pervert, any insult she can think of. She critiques her murders, chastising her when she kills the guards in Despair Arc while looking for Izuru for not doing a clean enough kill. But despite all this, Mukuro never strays from Junko's side. She continues to fawn over her, not just taking all the abuse, but displaying an attraction to her Despairing nature, and refuses to leave her side, the exact opposite reaction of what Junko wants to see from her.
"'Yes, she really is ridiculous…to the point of Despair, she's the lowest, worst sister ever but…that's why I can't leave her alone. That's why I have to help her. After all, I'm the only one who can understand her.'" -Mukuro Ikusaba, DR 0
This kind of loyalty isn't Despair-inducing at all; that dedication is exactly what she predicted from her obsession. What Junko actually wanted from her, we get a brief taste of when she speaks in the final trial of THH- "Because naturally, she turned out to be the letdown of the family. Leaving me behind to run off and join some band of mercenaries... Such a disappointment." The Despair of abandonment, of betrayal, was what she wanted. But Mukuro is too loyal for her own good. That's just annoying.
Mukuro is emotionally abusive, or would be if her sister were anyone but Junko, lusting after her own blood sister in a way that's considered taboo and perverse. This lust develops from an obsessive need to stay loyal to her sister, while Junko verbally abuses her right back, talking down to her and keeping her under her heel, mocking her at all available opportunities and treating her in a way that would make anyone else feel like shit. Not so for Mukuro, the person who's been next to her since birth and has stood by her side through all her Despair. They abuse each other, but there's an unspoken bond that allows for their relationship to function regardless, albeit in a twisted way. They're sisters, equally matched, and together, they become two halves of a whole terrorist. Despair is toxic for anybody, and Junko's own affliction leads Mukuro's obsessiveness to chain herself to Junko's side. They're twins who were born together, after all, and who else could even begin to understand Junko's Despair?
4.1- Despaircest & Anime (CW: Still Incest)
We've seen the relationship that Mukuro and Junko have with each other, both as it was alluded to in earlier depictions and how they interact with each other immediately in the anime. And, despite the fact that it wasn't directly shown to us before said anime, there were hints of the intention of a one-sided incest in DR 0, as well as repeated examples of Junko treating her sister poorly on a surface level and how much she actually valued her within THH and DR IF. Going into the anime, this would be the first time we'd actually see Junko and Mukuro interacting directly with each other as themselves. This could have been the time where we get to see just how twisted their relationship actually is, getting to see how, and maybe even why, they began treating each other in this way. We could've gotten more of a glimpse into their backstory, when they separated, and the inherently self-destructive cycle they pull each other into. Here's what we got instead:
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Rather than actually explore the real depth of their fucked up relationship, the anime elects to play it up for the sake of fanservice. This is admittedly an ongoing problem in most of DR3, as it throws most of its female characters into very compromising positions and focuses in on their bodies when they're being brutalized in one way or another and not doing the same for the men, but that only makes this lack of tact worse. There's no interest in actually addressing this darker plot point beyond the most basic surface level because to go any deeper would make it more difficult to get your rocks off to it. It's a shame to create such a conceptually fascinating relationship that would've made for a fantastic way to develop Mukuro as a villain more and Junko as a human more, and just use it for cheap servicy gags. I feel like it isn't an unreasonable statement to say that this was lazy. Danganronpa is supposed to be a series that explores dark topics and uses them to create tragedy and develop its characters. In the face of that, this was cheap.
Hell, this very scene says it itself: they're using Despair to create a fucked up pleasure for the viewer! The incest being played up for fanservice instead of acknowledging Mukuro as a character is, from a meta perspective, Despair-inducing. To the writers and to Mukuro, Mukuro doesn't matter outside of Junko. Her suffering is pleasurable to the audience in a way that's outside of social acceptability, in the way she needed to be used for so long just to exist. BUT WE ALREADY KNEW THAT. We didn't need to boil Mukuro down to an extension of Junko; Mukuro already did that to herself. Maybe this is just me complaining because it's not what I wanted to see from this plotline; I'm not ashamed to admit that. I think being able to acknowledge your biases as a consumer is important when critically looking at a piece of media. But I stand by my assertion that the presentation of this point is sloppy and surface-level, and should've been handled with more tact.
Part 5- The Murder of Mukuro Ikusaba
Junko treats her sister like trash, but despite this, we know that she does respect her. In fact, she has to consider Mukuro as an equal, because if she didn't, she wouldn't hold her as equal parts Despair as herself. Yet, when she reveals herself at the end of THH, she affirms that they were equals- both the Despair Sisters, who worked together("We were the Ultimate Despair, ya know?"), and in the same breath, describes her atrocities and mocks her memory as a disappointment. She sees Mukuro as not just a person, but a legitimate danger and a harbringer of Despair that's worth recognizing. Thus, as a sister, it causes her Despair to prevent anyone else from seeing that and paints Mukuro as just another victim of hers("She was nothing more than a bit player, an extra unworthy of lines."). Playing up her betrayal of Mukuro and her supposed disdain for her sister strips her of her agency as Ultimate Despair to their classmates, without letting them see her true self either. She becomes just another faceless victim, and Junko holds the memory of the true Mukuro Ikusaba, merciless killer and all, wholly to herself.
In the au light novel DR IF, Makoto remembers Mukuro, and inadvertently saves her from this fate. This leads the rest of the LN to focus on Mukuro and her relationship with Junko from her perspective as she copes with the reality that her sister betrayed her. It differentiates herself from Despair, and from her POV, we learn how she thought Junko felt vs how she actually did. Junko lives her life hopelessly- she's too smart for her own good, and can predict the moves of society and of the people around her. Mukuro believed she was the only one who fully understood Junko, so she acted perfectly in accordance with her plans, never once rebelling or going against her. She tries to convince herself to crave her sister's Despair so she would feel Despair from that desire, so she can remain close to her. But that wasn't the Despair Junko wanted. All along, what Junko wanted was for Mukuro to betray her because of her love for her. Without Mukuro, her plans would fall apart. She wouldn't be able to break into Hope's Peak as she did, nor would she be able to protect herself when attacked. Mukuro was what allowed her to gather as much power as she did over Hope's Peak, infiltrating and gathering blackmail, kidnapping chairmen, and so on. Mukuro was the brawn to Junko's brain. So the one thing that could destroy her plans, and bring her a Despair greater than any other, would be if her other half abandoned her. In DR IF, she learns this as Junko finally tells her that she loves her to her face. She breaks Mukuro's chains, and sets her free from her Despair to heal without her by rejecting her help, in a roundabout, Junko-esque way. In canon, though, Mukuro doesn't get to have that realization. She doesn't have the emotional intelligence to put those pieces together herself, and tired of waiting, tired of hoping, Junko gives herself an alternate Despair- the Despair of killing her own sister in cold blood.
The identity and death of Mukuro exist to keep the identity of the mastermind shrouded in mystery. Within THH, she's someone who's important from a narrative perspective- not as a person, but as an entity- designed to facilitate the reveal of the real Junko. Her murder is thus a murder of both her literally, and the murder of her personhood, as Mukuro is the one character that never gets to introduce herself. Junko makes it so, and wipes the memories of the class so that Mukuro Ikusaba will no longer exist outside of herself.
We're introduced to Mukuro not as Mukuro, but as Junko, wearing a wig and costume to appear as similar to her well-known sister as possible, and acting out her sister's fashion diva personality as convincingly as possible. It's tropey and typical of a fashionista- she cares about her looks a little too much during a killing game, acts like she's above the killing game and wants out of it, and explains away any imperfections as 'oh you haven't heard of photoshop before?'
There's no reason not to trust her at that point because no one thinks they've met her before. In DR IF, Makoto is able to recognize her through the outfit and charade, but that's only with his memories intact. Those memories have been thoroughly covered up by Junko in reality, and so the Mukuro Ikusaba she knows dies invisibly, betrayed and unrecognized as her classmates and friends mourn her killer instead. Junko gives her sister the worst Despair of all- being truly forgotten. After this, no one would remember who she was ever again, locked away in the mind of the person who'd never show her affection.
Not only that, Junko killing Mukuro and emphasizing how little she cared about that decision served to make the survivors hate her- her old friends now despised even looking at her, and brought her more Despair.
"Which is precisely why I killed her- to meet everyone's expectations." "That... can't be your only reason, can it?" "Well no, of course not. I also did it to avoid becoming bored." -Junko Enoshima & Makoto Naegi, THH
Despite that, being the one to kill Mukuro brings her a Despair like no other, with her describing it as "super super super super super Despair. No, more than that... Super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super Despair... It just feels... so... good..."
Junko did love her sister, and made everyone else she loved believe otherwise so she could feed off the Despair from their hatred.
Part 6- Ultimate Despair and Junko Enoshima
"The Ultimate Despair... A group of people who caused the Tragedy one year ago... Those same people put together this killing game and began broadcasting it around the entire world. The most desperately awful group of people ever... *That* is the mastermind's true identity." -Makoto Naegi, THH
Make no mistake- despite what the surface level of the series would have you believe, Junko Enoshima isn't the Ultimate Despair. There is no the Ultimate Despair because Despair isn't confined to any one person. Rather, Junko Enoshima is afflicted with Ultimate Despair. Despair, by nature, is grief. It's a pain inflicted by the death of hope, whether that be through the loss of a dream, a person, or whatever else. You grieve that loss, and it takes the form of Despair. Ultimate Despair takes that grief and amplifies it, destroying any sense of self and replacing it with the desire for more Despair. This is the type of Despair that Junko Enoshima feels, and thus, uses her own talents to embody it and spread it. It's a bold claim to make, I realize, that she isn't the SHSL Despair she defines herself as, but it's the basis this entire analysis leads to, and as the evidence over the course of the series develops her character more and more, it goes from some theoretical musing to legitimate design, all the way through to the end of V3. Though she immerses herself within Ultimate Despair, she herself is not Despair incarnate like she'd have you believe.
As we see her in THH, Junko is repeatedly hammered in as 'one of two' by the narrative. It's not just Junko that's formed Ultimate Despair; it's also Mukuro, and they're not referred to as 'Ultimate Despair and her sister', they're 'the Despair Sisters'. For all her charisma she displays, she alone isn't responsible for the Tragedy. Everyone is capable of feeling Despair. It's that foothold Despair has within her that creates an 'Ultimate Despair'. And while yes, Junko was definitely the most afflicted with Ultimate Despair, she didn't get as far as she did just by being horny for grief. She has a title, a real one, and it's not SHSL Gyaru. That was her cover, something she could use thanks to her real talent. Her real talent was only ever known by a select few, and to know what that is, you have to dive into the (criminally underrated, may I add) 2-volume novel set, Danganronpa 0.
Part 7- Ryoko Otonashi (DR 0)
(Little disclaimer here: Before I actually talk about the novel, I did want to quickly assert that DR 0 is both a mainline release to the Danganronpa series and 100% canon. Written and released by series creator Kazutaka Kodaka himself in 2011, it was written specifically to fill out Junko's character more. As such, everything contained within them are unquestionably canon to the world and its characters, something critically important to understand when talking about how it pertains to Junko Enoshima. I think just about anyone who's read DR 0 before knows all this already, but for the sake of anyone reading this who hasn't, I wanted to assert that.)
Ryoko Otonashi is the protagonist of DR 0, and is introduced to us as an audience in a 1st-person perspective. While she isn't the only character we follow in this series, she's the only one to speak to the reader straight-up, introducing herself and reacting immediately to the people and events in front of her. This is for good reason, as Ryoko is suffering from some form of amnesia. Not only does she not remember anything about her childhood or her identity, she also forgets things as they're happening. She can't even remember her name, and is only able to recall it by reading the cover of her notebook- 'Ryoko Otonashi's Memory Notebook,' where she's writing down everything in front of her as it happens so she can try to remember later.
Most of the story is told through Ryoko's perspective as she tries to avoid being caught up in some massive conspiracy within the school- all without actually remembering the conspiracy she's avoiding. Junko Enoshima is the one responsible for this, directing her from place to place and slowly forcing her to confront the conspiracy as she starts to figure out who she is and how she fits into it all. She insists over and over again that it has nothing to do with her, that she's innocent and has never met any of these people before and desperately tries to believe it- her memory is gone, therefore she could not be responsible.
But she is responsible, because she's not Ryoko Otonashi. Her real name is Junko Enoshima, and she's the SHSL Analyst, a girl with such a strong logical capacity that given enough information, she can perfectly understand and predict anything. This could be the actions and personality of a person, or it could be upcoming trends in fashion; whatever it may be, Junko is capable of perfectly analyzing and understanding what will happen in any given situation, long before the world does. And that type of intelligence has rotted away her mind.
Simply put, the human brain requires stimulation. Boredom is her opponent, and in a world where she can fully understand and predict anything at any time, Junko has nothing to stimulate her, and almost nothing can bring her any joy, because she fully anticipates it. Everything is normal, predictable, boring- it's left her with a case of intense anhedonia. Therefore, the only way she could find any happiness is in a world where that talent is stripped away from her. As Ryoko Otonashi, a girl with no memory, she can remember nothing and therefore predict nothing. Analysis requires data, and a blank slate offers none. Even her name is in reference to this, as 'Otonashii' translates to English as 'no sound' or 'quiet'. Only without memory can Junko's mind be silent and let her be genuinely happy.
Ryoko Otonashi is essentially a personality created by Junko as a test, not just for the people around her, but also for herself. Throughout the novel, Mukuro and Yasuke interact with her with opposing goals- Mukuro pushes her into the fray of Despair she's created, while Yasuke tries his best to keep her eyes and ears covered. Ryoko is in a unique position between the two- she's starting to remember and understand herself again, but is terrified of what she'll find, and wants to hold onto her peace with Yasuke. The ongoing question of the novel, which only reveals itself on a reread, isn't within Ryoko's identity itself. It asks the question of whether or not Junko could have been saved from Despair. And the answer, sadly, is no. Remembering anything for too long makes her forget her happiness, and she falls back into Despair, killing Ryoko Otonashi, the epitome of her peace, with her own hands.
Mukuro and Yasuke act as opposing forces within the novel, as both feel a loyalty to Junko that makes them act in what they believe to be her benefit, and both fail. Mukuro drags her kicking and screaming back into the depths of Despair to bring back the madness she sees Junko as, while Yasuke wipes her mind of everything that made her Junko to remove what plagued her. For Junko, balance isn't an option, and the people within her orbit fall victim to that same mentality.
7.1- Personality Disorders In Danganronpa
I'm not a psychologist, nor do I have any sort of split personality(DID, OSDD, etc). So my knowledge on the subject isn't that great, and everything said within this section should be taken with a grain of salt. But, to the best that I can tell, Ryoko's existence as an alter is sort of... mixed up. Other characters in the DR series (Toko & Genocider) make it pretty clear that Kodaka doesn't really have a fantastic understanding of people with DID outside of how they're stereotyped in the horror genre. And that background knowledge, combined with the presentation of Ryoko in DR 0, makes me think she was likely intended to be an alter, but as one that Junko had almost absolute control over, as at multiple instances, she was able to knock Ryoko out at will, and fully killed her once she'd outlived her usefulness for the experiment. There are parallels to Jekyll and Hyde in that aspect, though of course Jekyll was aware of also being Hyde- an alternate version of yourself created to rid yourself of everything about yourself that you despise is very reminiscent of Jekyll's motivations, down to the permanent erasure of the "good" side by the very end. It's also worth noting that Jekyll and Hyde weren't intended as an example of DID, but rather, an exploration of how every person is multifaceted with good and bad parts, even if modern day interpretations often read it as another example of the evil DID trope from 1960 and beyond(thanks a lot, Psycho).
There are several interactions between Ryoko and Junko that support them being two personalities within the same body rather than just a case of memory erasure. For example, when Ryoko is nearly killed by one of the SHSL Octuplets, Junko emerges just to make sure she isn’t killed, citing it as a minor nuisance.
“‘Upupu, I wonder if I was a bit too harsh.’ The voice said, it sounded close. ‘... But it can’t be helped. It’d just be embarrassing if you died here. After all, you’re the protagonist in this scene for once!’” -Junko Enoshima, DR 0
When Ryoko wakes up in the underground bunker of the Reserve Course cult forming, she comes across a captured member of the Steering Committee. And because she genuinely doesn't know who he is or where she is, he ends up giving her classified information that Junko needed, and the second he reveals it, she's immediately able to knock Ryoko back out and take over once again, having used the Ryoko personality as a front specifically to gain information.
“'The old school building… Kamukura Izuru’s there.' 'P-Please wait..' I ended the conversation prematurely with an interruption. Quickly, I wrote in ‘Otonashi Ryouko’s Memory Notebook’. .... But then… Huh? I suddenly felt an attack of dizziness, I struggled to stay upright. What’s happening?" -Steering Committee Member & Ryoko Otonashi, DR 0
"'Oy, did you hear me?' I didn’t. The beating in my ears was only growing louder, it completely drowned out all other sound, I couldn’t hear anything anymore. I shouldn’t be able to hear anything anymore, and yet I could hear a single, eerie laugh. '...Upupu.'" -Steering Committee Member & Ryoko Otonashi & Junko Enoshima, DR 0
Ryoko's memory of Yasuke is also contingent on whether or not Junko wants her to recognize him, suggesting that to some degree, her memory issues aren't just forcefully induced, but rather, are a conscious choice on Junko's part for Ryoko, as once Junko's plan is in place, she suddenly can't recognize him and is then forced to kill him in self-defense.
"'Are you…talking to me?' He looked exhausted. A face of someone who lost everything. The face of someone who lost all his thoughts, all his senses, and all his emotions. '…You don’t remember me?'" -Ryoko Otonashi & Yasuke Matsuda, DR 0
It's pretty unclear whether this was an intended conclusion from Ryoko's and Junko's behavior in DR 0, or if these are just remnants of Kodaka not knowing how personality disorders work and simply having Junko be so powerful that she can purposefully create, manipulate, and kill personalities at will, but I think looking at it from a more psychological viewpoint like this certainly puts Junko's actions as a manipulator into more perspective. The intention behind Ryoko suggests that Junko's manipulative abilities extended even into her own psyche, almost to a supernatural degree. Do actual systems in the real world function like this? No, but thanks to Toko/Genocider, we know that the representation of DID isn't gonna be good in this series.
If we wanted to put this into a more realistic lens, we could come to the conclusion that Junko's apparent control over Ryoko and the discrepancies behind her existence is a result of Junko having Munchausen Syndrome. Also called factitious disorder, Munchausen is a subconscious psychological condition in which the patient fakes symptoms of other kinds of conditions, whether mental or physical, without realizing they're mimicking the symptoms. Under this lens, we could say Ryoko was a factitious alter that Junko created after Yasuke wiped her memory, hence why she could have control over her over the course of the novel. This was almost definitely not the intended explanation, but it's the conclusion I came to. So there.
Part 8- Relationships
Due to just how many corners of the franchise Junko's present in, there's no convenient place to dump all the relationship analyses like I normally do. Ergo, I'll be breaking part 8 up, and will talk about the different core relationships Junko forms when they're most relevant.
8.1- Yasuke Matsuda
Yasuke Matsuda is the SHSL Neurologist, and a childhood friend of Junko's introduced in DR 0. Because he's the boy she's in love with, he remains the only tangible thing Ryoko can remember outside of her procedural memory, and is treating her memory loss. He's also the one primarily responsible for wiping her mind and assisting the school in the coverup of the student council massacre that Junko was responsible for, though he takes no pleasure in it.
"The silence continued for a while until Matsuda sighed and muttered, 'You should worry.' His voice was low and depressing. 'What if you’ll always be like this......'" -Yasuke Matsuda, DR 0
Despite his tsundere behaviors towards Ryoko whenever the two are face-to-face, he's very much in love with her, and spends the novel trying to look out for what he believes is in her best interests by methodically attempting to remove the Despair from her mind and covering up the Tragedy she's already set into motion. Throughout the novel, he works in cahoots with the Hope's Peak Academy Steering Committee to find more information about the Incident. He does this specifically to defend Ryoko and keep people from interrogating her further, and to hopefully extricate her from the whole situation permanently.
"'I said shut the fuck up.' Matsuda easily quieted the men by saying that and then he continued in a soft voice. 'People might call her an idiot, but she doesn’t even bother to stick up for herself, thinking she can’t do it. So I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if I don’t do it for her.'" -Yasuke Matsuda, DR 0
Though we never see it directly, we realize with the help of Kyoko that he's also the one taking the bodies of the Steering Committee and SHSL Octuplets after Mukuro kills them and disposing of them, in the hopes they won't be discovered and Junko will eventually be absolved of both suspicion and Despair.
“Finally she looked at me. ..... ‘The dead body, the body that was dead. There was a post-death body here before!’ ‘Huh?’ ..... ‘There’s not mistake, I know there was definitely a corpse here before!’” -Ryoko Otonashi & Mukuro Ikusaba, DR 0
“Matsuda-kun’s voice was definitely coming from beneath me. There’s no mistaking he was under the bed. ‘But... what would require so much concentration to be under the bed?’ ‘This situation.’ Somehow, Matsuda-kun’s way of putting it could allure to several different meanings.” -Yasuke Matsuda & Ryoko Otonashi, DR 0
"I stood next to the girl, crouched down and peeked under the bed. At the back I could see a large opening, .... 'It’s not a terribly impressive hidden room… a storage room at best.' '…A storage room?' 'For hiding dead bodies.'” -Ryoko Otonashi & Kyoko Kirigiri, DR 0
But despite his best efforts, Junko's talents of analysis were just too great, and she'd already come up with a plan to send her back into Despair before he ever touched her mind. With the help of Mukuro and the growing underground Reserve Course cult of Despair, Ryoko is forced to face Despair after Despair, and is hunted for her involvement in the student council massacre. Junko confronts him and taunts him for his failure, leaving him to wallow.
"'I get it, you feel sorry for her… even so, you’re troubled. You’re incredibly troubled. That’s what it seems like after what I’ve been hearing…'” -Junko Enoshima, DR 0
“'You know, in this scenario, only you can make the choice, Matsuda-kun. So think carefully, worry about it, and choose the choice you think it best. Hope or despair… the choices are so diverse and yet, surprisingly, intricately connected. Anyway, have a good think about it…'" -Junko Enoshima, DR 0
In one final attempt to see if he can salvage her, he approaches Ryoko outside of his lab, pretending as if he's Izuru Kamukura, and questions her. She doesn't recognize him, and he, too, falls into Despair, finally accepting that despite his feelings, he was a pawn to Junko's game, and tries to kill her, sending Ryoko towards Despair as she realizes who she's speaking to and can't convince him she loves him anymore. Defending herself, she ends up stabbing him, sending herself spiraling as she becomes her lover's killer, and Junko reemerges from her mind, killing her off in front of him and forcing him to die in Despair.
He dies believing Junko never actually loved him. He becomes thoroughly convinced that she was pretending, and that Ryoko was nothing more than a part of the game to send him into Despair. And that perception of Junko combined with her causing his death brings Junko an indescribable Despair. The man she loved died by her hands, hating her existence. Truly, this was Despair!
"'I was right, wasn't I? About you remembering? That's why you can't remember me? You remembered that I wasn’t a particularly important person to you…so that's why you can't remember?' Kamukura then revealed his eyes, their glint was tainted with deadly hatred. '…You're such a bitch.'" -Yasuke Matsuda, DR 0
"'There's no way this would have nothing to do with me…' There was a hint of sadness laid somewhere in that murmuring voice. 'After all…you were the most important person to me of all…' Those were her true feelings. Yasuke Matsuda was an especially important existence for Junko Enoshima." -Junko Enoshima, DR 0
She loved Yasuke intensely. She cared about him moreso than anyone else, save Mukuro. And yet, despite how attached he was to her, Yasuke couldn't realize in his own Despair that there'd be no reason for someone like Junko to bother dragging herself through so much mental torment and manipulation at his expense if she wouldn't get a magnificent Despair out of it. Yes, she causes Despair for others, but she doesn't throw herself directly into the fray unless she gets something out of it. Despite loving her, he never actually understood her. That truth, too, would bring her Despair.
Part 9- How Junko Shaped the Game
Turning back towards THH, Junko's reveal shakes the class. Most of them believed that finding the mastermind and forcing them to show their face would end the game. But that's not the case for Junko Enoshima. She's not through with them yet, and takes the opportunity to rub everything they've lost in their faces.
"Puhuhuhu... Did you really think the story would end once we reached the climax of the case? Wrong! There's still plenty more to go!" -Monokuma, THH
Throughout all of THH, Junko's plan is hinged on Despair, and thus, she takes her class, which had become close friends and confidants over the past two years of their lives, and attacks what would bring them the worst Despairs possible for each. Her talents as SHSL Analyst allowed her to analyze her own classmates and tear at what would've made their 16-to-20 year old selves when they first met snap. And each one of the motives she used was designed specifically for that, something she makes sure to cite when taunting them ("Did you notice that each motive I presented you had a specific theme to it?")
The first motive's theme was 'human connections', and everything surrounding the first chapter reflects this. Sayaka's motive wasn't just about her career. It was about the family she'd found and not letting down the people who loved her. And on a meta perspective, the first chapter was also about relationships, specifically that between Sayaka and Makoto and how that relationship's end motivated Makoto to eventually become SHSL Hope, and to a lesser degree, starting the development of the critical relationship between Hina and Sakura.
The second motive's theme was 'the past', something the 2nd chapter very much reflects. The secrets that Junko uses against the class are extremely personal to each of their histories, and can be used to twist each of them to head towards Despair, whether that be through their own hand or their own poor judgements of the people around them from their lack of memories. Mondo's secret isn't just tragic; Junko purposefully warps it in his letter to affirm his own belief that Daiya's death was murder and not just an accident, and because no one knows its contents, it sends him into a spiral. The same can be said for Chihiro, whose secret implies that their gender presentation is a lie, forcing them into a conformatory decision that leads to tragedy. Her classmates' memories of the past are presented in a warped way to suit Junko's needs. Toko's secret of having DID and a serial killer alter, Genocider Syo, is also revealed and used to develop her more as a character when she's the one most afraid of opening up to the class.
The third motive's theme is 'greed', using the promise of wealth to lure Celeste to murder. Even if you could argue other characters within the class could have fallen victim to the first two motives, this one is undoubtedly meant to target the Yasuhiros on Junko's part, as realistically, no one else in their class has any reason to even consider killing for money by itself, especially not when there's already been two class trials. The Yasuhiros are the only ones who consider themselves to be in any level of financial need. This theme is also meta-reflected by the possessive nature Kiyondo and Hifumi both develop over Alter Ego. Because neither of them can keep themselves away from them, they became easily manipulated, and it became harder for the rest of the class to obtain information and watch out for each other, forming a tunnel vision towards Alter Ego in their minds. This contrasts Celeste and Hiro greatly as well- Celeste is consumed by her own greed, while Hiro doesn't even consider killing for the money, opting instead to try and look out for the class and develop him as a survivor. Hiro's the one that looks out for Taka and calls out Hifumi on his obsession; Hiro's lured into Celeste's trap by promise of a way to save everyone, while Celeste rejects her class in favor of fighting for a selfish dream she didn't even need.
The 4th motive is that of 'betrayal', and this one is where the cracks in Junko's plan finally reveal themselves. Each and every trial before this one ended in tears and Despair, and a sense of hopelessness that wasn't alleviated until they were given new distractions. Sakura's betrayal is meant to mirror Junko's own betrayal of her classmates, and when half the class instantly turns on her, things go exactly as Junko plans. Sakura swears to destroy Junko by any means necessary, and takes her own life in an attempt to take the fun from Junko. With Monokuma's meddling, Hina is instead pushed into attempting a murder-suicide, one she's caught for by Kyoko and Makoto. But once the truth comes out, Sakura and Hina aren't condemned. Those that attacked her end up defending her. Sakura doesn't betray her class; Sakura betrays Junko, and it puts her on the path to failure. Junko even admits to this, though indirectly: "Once I revealed Sakura's betrayal, that led to everything that came afterwards..." Note this is the only time where she doesn't expressly explain to the survivors why her motive was successful, because in this instance, it wasn't. It also fills out Hina as a character and uses her arc of an attempted self-destruction to contrast Junko, as Hina let herself be forgiven by her classmates, something Junko could never let herself do.
Part 10- Self-Destruction (Junko vs Sakura)
Despite the fact that Makoto is the character christened as SHSL Hope at the end of THH, there are a lot more parallels between Junko's self-destructive nature and Sakura's self-sacrifice that often go unnoticed, and these parallels are quintessential to the overarching narrative of THH and why Junko functioned as its villain.
Both Sakura and Junko do the things they do because they love the people around them. Both Sakura and Junko find themselves to fall short of who they'd rather be. Both Sakura and Junko kill themselves. But their goals are fundamentally, diametrically opposed.
Sakura Ogami, as a martial artist, is a woman of honor and principles. She believes in the inherent worth of the people around her because of this, and strives to become the strongest person alive not because it's a desire of her own, but because that's the destination the people who loved her had in mind for her(her father, Kenshiro, etc). And therefore, she's someone who fundamentally wishes to act in the best interests of the people she loves, even when it's at her own detriment.
Junko Enoshima, as a hyperintelligent analyst, is able to predict anything. And because she can predict anything, she can enjoy nothing, because she always knows what will happen before it gets there. Ergo, the only way she can enjoy herself is via the only thing that can make her feel- Despair. Grief and pain still feel like something in a world where she can't be pleasantly surprised by anything. She despises herself for it, and so in order to feel, she decimates anything that brings her joy. Joy is boring; joy is nothing; joy is just part of the default setting because she still sees it coming. And therefore, she's someone who fundamentally acts in the worst interests of those she loves, for the sake of her own detriment.
When Sakura kills herself, and Hina is filled with Despair, Junko wants to revel in the Despair this brings everyone else. Sakura killed herself for people that weren't giving her the time of day, and the one person who gave a crap tried to kill you all! Isn't it so tragic, so Despair-inducing, don't you just want to break down and crumble?! And then they don't. Instead, after hearing the truth of Sakura's actions, the entire rest of the class is uplifted and united by her honor. Even Byakuya is feeling hopeful now! What the actual fuck is happening?! Is this how they'll feel when I die, too? Will my death bring no Despair?
8.2- Class 78-B
We never get to actually see any of her classmates interacting directly with her in their school days, or in any way that was positive. Outside of THH's and SDR2's final trials, we as an audience don't get to see them interact as friends. So we have to draw these conclusions from what little context we were given within her dialogue in these few rare moments in THH and the mentions of her class in DR 0.
"There was a tap inside [Junko's] skull, like someone pressed a switch and slowly her entire brain lit up with a notion. Several faces appeared. Of course, they were faces she knew… they were the faces of her Hope’s Peak Academy classmates." -DR 0
Without any doubt, Junko loved her classmates. They were people she considered in high regard and had unwittingly fallen for their unique charms. While Junko had come to Hope's Peak with the intention of causing Despair, she'd accidentally found people that made her happy. When entering the school, she intended to use the people around her to damage the school of Hope's reputation, but inadvertently became attached: "Once your school life here began, I thought about you constantly. It's only natural that I would... fall in love." This made for a fantastic happy accident for Junko, as finding something beloved made for a much more fantastic Despair for her later.
"Remembering the faces of the people who would bring her such despair, she felt something that was similar to a person in love, and she danced to the rhythm of Despair. 'This is it! This is a fantastic despair!'" -Junko Enoshima, DR 0
We can also reasonably assume Junko was someone her classmates had considered dear to them in turn, as she not only knew how to motivate their past selves into murder, but also their deepest secrets and fears, and was able to attack their relationships when they themselves couldn't even remember them. Could you handwave that level of connection with her SHSL Analyst talent? Actually, no, because as stated previously, analysis requires data. And the only way she could gather enough data to understand them at a depth that let her plan her killing game to perfection was by getting to know them firsthand.
There's also a strange implication within Junko's explanation of how she put the killing game together that I think gets often overlooked. When she prepares to infodump to the remaining survivors, she says this:
"So since I love you guys so much, I'll tell you all about it! All about the idea we came up with as the Ultimate Despair- our plan to bring Despair to all mankind!"
It's an interesting choice of pronoun, to say the least. "We." It implies that the group she's referring to when she speaks is herself and the people she's speaking to at this moment in time. Could she just be switching gears and talking about Mukuro, and later, the RoD, Kamakura, the WoH, etc? Yeah, absolutely. But none of these characters had even been mentioned, whereas she was just speaking on her love for her classmates in the dialogue prior and continues to talk about her classmates after.
In listening to Junko's explanation of how she put the killing game together, it made me come to a pretty disturbing realization. One of the biggest things about Junko is how she's always able to seemingly pull together everything to form this killing game almost entirely by herself. Later installments to the series include some level of explanations- Towa Group becoming a financial and robotic sponsor, a SHSL Mechanic that could've made the executions, etc- but her success within the killing game hinges fully on her knowing how to best bring her classmates to Despair. And she's not just an analyst; Junko is a master manipulator. Throughout her entire explanation of how she created the killing game, she never says she threw them into the killing game against their will. Instead, she very deliberately calls attention to her classmates' choice in the matter, over and over again. They chose to enter the shelter, they chose to lock the doors and cover the windows, they chose to be there with the SHSL Despair, though they didn't know who they were with at the time. Makoto is the one to assert that they did so because they believed in the hope of survivng, and giving the world a fresh start. But it's not just their year's worth of fun school classes missing from their memories. There's also a year of hopelessness within the school erased, too. Combine this with a few well-placed lines from Junko.
"You see, by taking away your memories, I gave you hope."
"You absorbed all that Despair, but then you forgot it all."
"Despair is contagious, you know. It's almost like... a natural phenomenon."
"Once you'd finished building your little shelter, it was time for me and Mukuro to get to work. And thus began the killing game!"
If Junko is making the claim that she was able to give them hope by removing their memories, that meant none of them had any to begin with. She emphasizes how much Despair her classmates absorbed, and even Kyoko herself states that it's impossible for all this to have been put together by just the Despair Sisters. If an additional year of hopelessness waiting around within the school were also erased, and Junko is intentionally avoiding saying she started the killing game herself, is it beyond reason to suggest that at least some of the 78th class had fallen to Despair in that timeframe? Look at the survivors that are left- Byakuya, Toko, Syo, Hina, Hiro. All characters that Do Not Like each other by this point. Most of the meaningful connections between the classmates have been murdered. Their past is scrubbed away. They've basically all betrayed each other at least once by now, and have been pushed to the brink of Despair. If you got a collection of THH characters most likely to fall to Despair, it'd be this group.
Junko even takes a point to emphasize just how Despair-inducing the truth can become, targeting Kyoko directly with this. As Kyoko comes to the realization the Junko purposefully designed the game with the possibility of being caught, she revels in Kyoko's Despair. She taunts her with the fact that their solving the mystery only made things worse. She is purposefully trying to drive the rest of her surviving classmates into SHSL Despair alongside her. She's manipulated the game and her classmates to get what she wants- the people she loves slaughtered, the survivors joining her in Despair, the world reborn by her hands. She quite likely manipulated her classmates into plotting each other's deaths not only inside the game, but in preparation for it as well.
Out of all her classmates, there was only really one you could argue wasn't perfectly analyzed and manipulated. One stood out among the rest as the unknown variable- a concept otherwise foreign to Junko- that was able to act as a wrench in her plans. And this, too, could cause her Despair.
8.3- Makoto Naegi (Hope vs Despair)
Makoto Naegi's SHSL Luck, AKA SHSL Hope, is the one who takes down Junko Enoshima's SHSL Despair. But why and how was this possible, and what does that mean for the relationship that he and Junko had prior to the game? If I wanted to fully delve into their relationship specifically, I'd need to really tear into Makoto's character, and I don't really have the time for that today(again, still hoping to get this out before 2025), so we'll just do the best we can based off the scenes they've had together and what we know about Junko to put the pieces together thematically.
Makoto is an average guy in just about every sense of the word. He likes average things, he looks plain, he's chosen randomly by lottery instead of earning his place in the school, he doesn't have any noticeable traits or beliefs- at least, not at first.
"But you know, if I had any one kind of strong point, so to speak, I'd say I'm a little more gung-ho than other people." -Makoto Naegi, THH prologue
By his own admission, he has a grand total of two character traits- abnormal normalcy, and enthusiasm. He's optimistic, and that's kind of it. By all intents and purposes, he's the SHSL Joe Schmoe, and that should make him another blank canvas on the wall of pawns Junko can knock over whenever she gets a little bored. And yet, SHSL Joe Schmoe is the one directly responsible for Junko's failure, and the one person who, by her own admission, she cannot predict. So why and how exactly is that?
I recall reading a story about a coding competition, where coders were meant to design an AI for a gambling competition. One entry proceeded to make an AI that would go all in every single time it was its turn, and the simplicity of it was so intimidating that it broke every other AI that was in the competition. That mentality is the exact strategy Makoto unintentionally employs. He doesn't have any strong sense of self or moral complexities; he's a dude that exists, and he throws everything he is into everything he does. He's an optimist to the highest possible sense. He leaves his door unlocked even after 4 murder cases and a break-in. He refuses to fathom anything but the best possible outcome, and so he's able to combat Junko's total Despair with pure hope. Makoto's head is so completely simple and empty that it acts as the exact opposite to Junko's highly intelligent, analytical mind. When she tries to force-feed him Despair in the final trial, he hits her with the power of 'nuh-uh,' and it works. It's that emptiness that fascinates Junko, and makes him and his random chance luck unpredictable to her.
Part 11- "Defeating" Despair
When Junko loses, it's not just because she failed to convince the others of Despair, or that Makoto's hope was just naturally the stronger conviction of the two. Rather, Junko's loss can be attributed to her own conscious choice to lose. Even if we're looking solely at THH, this is the case. And the source is found in a single line.
If her conviction to win in this moment was absolute to the point where only one person had to vote for Despair, she just had to include herself in the votes. After all, she is one of the 16 students participating, and by all accounts, she should receive a vote for this trial. But she casually refuses, instead leaving it in the hands of the survivors to make the final call. And that in and of itself is indicative of Junko's desires. When faced with a situation she can easily control, she leaves it to fate to decide, allowing that glimmer of unpredictability to take over and surprise her. She'll always believe in the Despair she's dedicated herself to; it doesn't actually matter who wins here. What matters is that she feels Despair. Either Makoto succeeds in convincing his classmates of hope and kills her, ruining all her plans, or he fails, and she exterminates the one unpredictable person in her life and locks herself out of that rush of adrenaline for the rest of her life. Either ending would fill her with Despair, and in that sense, there is no way for her to lose. She won the killing game, whether the survivors realized it or not, because she succeeded in destroying herself. She built herself a Saw trap, and her loved ones set it off.
Part 12- Execution Analysis
Junko is the only character to walk willingly into her execution, even being the one to hit the red button to start up the punishment rather than having Monokuma do it. You can first attribute this to her no longer being in the control room to pilot Monokuma to do so, which is true, but it's also representative of her desire for self-inflicted Despair. Her eyes are swirling with Despair and she goes on about how good it feels, how everyone should die in such Despair, how this punishment is 'extra special', because it's one she brought on herself. After methodically destroying the most important relationships of her life one by one, she'd now be killed by her friends in a series of recycled contraptions in an 'Ultimate Punishment'.
As she goes through each step of the execution, we see her bearing a wide grin, flying through the machinery that'd killed every one of her executed friends over and over again. She hits every baseball, handles the Cage of Death with ease, calmly survives the firetruck, and bobs her head with the excavator. She doesn't struggle, not once, and this is because in prolonging her Despair, her SHSL Analyst talent is keeping her alive. She's watched every one of these executions, and thus, knows how to survive them all. It's not just a retrospect of every prior execution as a callback for the audience; it means something. With a punishment meant to bring the character's worst ironic death via their most hated parts of themselves, then of course Junko's analytic abilities are keeping her alive through everyone else's Despair.
The execution ends with the return of the After-School Lesson, and this is the one that finally kills her, because it's the only one in which she doesn't know how it ends. Makoto's execution was tampered with by Alter Ego, so there's no way to know if she'll actually die or not. Junko can't know if it still works or not. Junko doesn't know whether she'll live or die, and that's what makes it so exciting. She's driven to the edge of death and left to sit there for a moment too long, long enough for the Despair to be replaced with disappointment- only to kill her right when her Despair abandons her. She stops smiling, looks up at the press, and dies abruptly. In her final moments, she is denied her Despair. Makoto did win, after all.
Part 13- Answering the 'How' (SDR2)
One of the biggest 'what-the-fuck's people tend to have after walking out of their first playthrough or watchthrough of THH is the How of the entire game. The first game is good and all, but it leaves Junko's skills and how she set up and pulled the killing game together pretty vague. This is intentional, as in the first game, she exists as a kind of force of nature, representing Despair as an inherent part of life in the same way Makoto represents hope. But after Spike Chunsoft commissioned a sequel, and Kodaka set to work on DR 0, the question of 'how' had to be answered as the series was expanded upon. This started with the introduction of Yasuke Matsuda's memory erasure technology and the reveal of Junko's SHSL Analyst status in DR 0, but continued to expand well beyond that.
In SDR2, we're introduced to an entirely new cast of characters, all with new and less conventional talents in comparison to the first cast. Whereas THH had plenty of more mentally-oriented talents like programming, writing, and hall monitor to balance out their more eclectic ones, the SDR2 cast is almost entirely physical or social talents like a yakuza, animal breeder, and mechanic. These talents also put them into more social or powerful positions than the 78th class on an overall skill, as you find yourself full of people that could command full armies and people proficient with making weaponry or fighting and potentially killing the people around them. This differentiates the casts, and automatically makes them more threatening in the ways they could attack each other in a killing game. This also makes them Junko's perfect weapons.
8.4- Remnants of Despair
Class 77 is revealed by the end of SDR2 to be the Remnants of Despair, pawns swayed over to SHSL Despair by unknown means. Makoto refers to this conversion as 'brainwashing', though whether this is him literally knowing they were brainwashed or making an inference and later being proven right is unclear. Regardless, the RoD are part of the SHSL Despair movement, and exist to explain a lot of how Junko was able to not only set up the killing game mechanically, but continue to end the world and send it into ongoing war after the initial Incident.
This is something especially apparent with the remaining surviving cast, as they're the most immediately powerful amongst the cast for Junko to use. Sonia and Fuyuhiko are both in direct command of massive amounts of people, with Sonia being the heiress to an entire country and Fuyuhiko being the leader of the largest mafia in Japan. Kazuichi as the SHSL Mechanic explains how and why so many elaborate executions were able to be designed ahead of time for the killing game, and Akane is a wicked fast athlete who's already accustomed to tragedies and will eat anything. On top of all this, there's Hajime, a human experiment worked on by those in league with the values of hope, and that was forcefully imbued with every talent that's ever been documented, including Junko's.
This sums up everything that made the RoD useful, but doesn't explain how any sort of meaningful connection was established between them and Junko. That's because on the overall, there isn't one. With two notable exceptions, the SDR2 class is largely unimportant to Junko emotionally speaking. They're useful, and that's about it. They weren't in the same class; they didn't interact at school or bond in any important way. She just dragged them down with the bare minimum brainwashing video because of their usefulness.
We also know Junko didn't care because of just how differently she speaks to and treats class 77 as opposed to the characters that we know she does love. The series painstakingly makes sure you know that Junko tears up everything she loves- Mukuro, Yasuke, class 78. She gores through them because hurting the ones she loves hurts her right back, and gives her an excellent Despair. But with class 77? Beyond the initial conversion, she doesn't really touch them. She doesn't need to waste her time with people who are virtually strangers. Their pain just is Despair; it's not her Despair. It's good for a laugh, but not much else, so she lets them run rampant on their own.
On an overall scale, Junko didn't give a fuck about these people. They existed solely as tools to her, and she interacted with them as little as possible. Unlike with her classmates, whom she loved, she did the absolute bare minimum required to get them to feel Despair by showing them a video and letting them do their own thing. The RoD were Remnants and not full-fledged SHSL Despair because their Despair was artificial. It was inauthentic, and so they could never ascend to true Despair in the way characters like Mukuro, Junko, or Monaca can.
8.5- Mikan Tsumiki (The Relevance of Junkan)
When we're first introduced to the concept of Junkan, it's portrayed as a one-sided infatuation from Mikan's perspective. She tells her classmates about the one person who forgave her existence and loved her anyway, with the choice of language emphasizing her beloved's need for Despair and asking for forgiveness for hoping suggesting that this beloved is Junko.
"Ahhh, this feeling of freedom where you no longer care about anything! My beloved and I are the only ones within that thin veil, and I'm just looking out through it..." -Mikan Tsumuki, SDR2
Whether intended at the time of SDR2's release or not, this line of dialogue ended up foreshadowing Mikan's heightened importance in comparison with the rest of her class to Junko as an RoD. When everyone else were just tools, remnants formed by brainwashing, Mikan is ultimately differentiated as special, not necessarily craving Despair but happily parroting it for the sake of a twisted love.
"It's like nothing matters! I could just die, that's how little it matters! Who cares about hope or despair! It's love, only love!" -Mikan Tsumiki, SDR2
This 'beloved' being Junko is proved true when AI Junko emerges in the final trial and reveals that class 77 are also the RoD. At this point, though, there's almost no evidence that Junko feels anything back for Mikan besides a vague sense of usefulness shared with the rest of her classmates, as she mimes seeing them as friends because of their actions as Remnants of Despair.
Something that's important to remember, however, is that Junko's need for Despair drives her to destroy everything she loves. We've seen this multiple times, over and over again with Mukuro, Yasuke, and her classmates before now. The reason we know she didn't care about class 77 is because there are no such personal attacks to tear them apart and make them despise her specifically- their pain brings her no Despair. There's no evidence of a personal attachment. Once DR3 comes into focus, though, that changes for one RoD in particular- one Mikan Tsumiki.
DR3 made the decision to bring Chiaki back as a human character, and made her the central figure for class 77's bond. Junko dragging out Chiaki's suffering and forcing her classmates to watch became the titular event that drove the rest of class 77 to Despair. But there was no personal attachment to this act, because she'd only just met Chiaki, and there was no dynamic to speak of between the two of them besides maybe a vague sense of interest based off of their single interaction.
So, if there's no established rivalry or connection to Chiaki, why does Junko single her out and kill her specifically? Easy; Junko doesn't. She sets up the maze, sure, but she is not and never was the one targeting Chiaki specifically. That was Mikan, and the show makes sure the audience sees this more than once.
When Mikan and Junko meet, it's because of a chance interaction. Mikan runs into Mukuro by mistake when going to check on Ryota, and is captured. In this sense, she's literally presented as a gift to Junko. Junko learns she's a nurse, and decides she'll let her hang around while she works on the brainwashing video.
In their next scene together, Junko is having Mikan massage her leg, listening as Mikan presents her classmates and friends to Junko. She's the one who tells Junko of how close her class has become, and how Chiaki is the central figure behind their bond. It's where we get this from Junko:
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Though you might not immediately know it, it's swiftly revealed to us that Mikan is now in love with Junko via this and Ryota's mention that something appears 'off' with Mikan. From Ryota's discovery of the prototype video that was used on the Reserve Course students being immediately followed by Mikan's appearance and saying he souldn't have watched the video, it's easy to fall into the assumption that Mikan's fall is purely because of the brainwashing. But that's not necessarily true. Mikan having seen the video prototype is very different from being brainwashed entirely, and considering Junko herself says that the video is insufficient and that she can't brainwash people like Ryota can, there's an inference to be made that while the prototype video may have helped, it didn't rob Mikan of her free will in the way Chiaki's death did for everyone else. Ryota didn't fall into Despair from the video by itself, and neither did Chisa Yukizome. We also know from her FTEs in SDR2 that even before falling to Despair, Mikan was already a little fucked up, as her idea of a good time includes telling you all the ways in which you could die and begging people to treat her like garbage just for a taste of acknowledgement.
We also see what motivated her to nurse not only herself, but others as well- not empathy, but power and control.
"Sick people and injured people... are weaker than me. .... But if I know the proper way to treat them, that means my words are absolute. Which means... They'll need me. They'll depend on me completely." -Mikan Tsumiki, SDR2
Again, all this can be found in her FTEs, in a situation in which she's mentally reverted to the way she was entering the school, before she and Junko were so much as in the same city. By this line of information, it's just as believable that her falling in love with Junko was because Junko and her video actually connected with Mikan, taking Mikan's craving for attention via mistreatment and using it to her advantage. It's also worth noting that the anime makes a point to use 'spiral eyes' to demonstrate when a character has been brainwashed. This is something used with Chisa, with the characters in the Future Arc, and when the RoD are shown Chiaki's murder. But Mikan does not have these spiral eyes in the scene where she nearly assaults Ryota. She's horny, and it's extremely disconcerting, but her eyes are still her own, suggesting that the video didn't take a hold on her the way it did for the Reserve Course students.
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Mikan is also one of the most similar characters to Junko in that she craves pain. Not emotional Despair in the way that Junko does, but physical pain, not only from Junko, but from just about anyone. Pain means attention, and that's something she needs more than anything. By this metric, she and Junko are actually quite similar, needing the worst from the people they love, and this makes for a formula that can create an incredibly abusive relationship. Junko can do literally anything to Mikan, and she'll lap it up like a dog. Mikan makes for a perfect punching bag, and suddenly, their relationship is intentionally paralleling the way Junko treats her sister. She kicks her around, calls her a disgusting horny piglet, and Mikan thanks her for it. It becomes a challenge of seeing how far she can push Mikan before she snaps and attacks her back, just like how she tries and fails to do with Mukuro. Simply put, there's no reason for her to treat Mikan in this way if she doesn't care about her as a person, romantic or otherwise.
This connection Junko forms with Mikan also serves to answer that earlier question: why did she bother with a class full of people she's never met? It's because of Mikan. Mikan is the one to present class 77 to her, and with the context that she goes on to set up a murder maze specially for Chiaki, and specifically says that Mikan has 'made a compelling case', that means Mikan was asking her to make them SHSL Despair. And not only does she do so, she does so in a way that forces Mikan to be the one to lead them into the trap. She brings her classmates to the bunker, she separates Chiaki from the group, she's responsible for sending her loved ones to Despair. This isn't a plot that's personal to Junko; it's a plot that's personal to Mikan, and Junko helping drive Mikan's loved ones into Despair saddles Mikan with a Despairing guilt tied to Junko.
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Driving class 77 to become RoD is an act of love for Mikan- a twisted, abusive love, but a love nonetheless, and one that's in line with the way she drives her own class to Despair and makes herself the crux. Should her classmates realize what's happened, they'll know that Mikan brought them here. The rest of class 77 are Remnants, but Mikan is a SHSL Despair like Mukuro, valued like Mukuro, and her being the one to regain her memories and turn on all her friends once more, betray them once more, is a remnant of Junko's love.
8.6- Izuru Kamukura
When Junko first approaches Kamukura, she does so with the intention of offing him then and there. He's the artificial SHSL Hope, lab-grown by Hope's Peak Academy, and represents everything their research stands for. To kill him would be to kill their work, and that's what she walks in with the intention of doing.
Naturally, she fails, as Izuru's been imbued with every talent known to man. This wasn't outside to realm of possibility for Junko, though. There were several different ways to kill the SHSL Hope invented by Hope's Peak. Whether or not she killed him literally or metaphorically wasn't the point.
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Izuru Kamukura exists as an empty symbol. He's filled with talent and nothing to use it on. Because his existence is an artificial one, he has no passion with which his talents were born, and no drive to use them. If anything, he's not the SHSL Hope, he's the SHSL Talent, but regardless, his creators have labeled him their SHSL Hope so that he can become their puppet-symbol. So to kill the SHSL Hope the trustees have created, all Junko really has to do is get her hands on the puppet first.
The actual convincing of him isn't really what matters to Junko. Similar to the trustees, she also sees Kamukura as a symbol, albeit one to be knocked down instead of bolstering up, so she uses him like a token symbol, too. All she has to do is pique his interest, just enough to get him to follow her, and her job is done. She talks on about her love of Despair, how grief and pain are something that actually makes you feel, and because he's had his emotion removed, that unknown variable is enough to get him to watch, just in case.
Despite his having every known talent, Kamukura is tricked. He's framed by Junko as being responsible for the murders of the student council. And in addition, he sees the power of Despair, as adrenaline from the final survivor pushes him to attack Kamukura even when it should've been physically impossible. When moved by that animalistic need to survive, he manages to cut Kamukura's face even after getting his own sawed in half. Thus the SHSL "Hope" is introduced to the world as creating Despair, and his job is complete.
Junko doesn't really bother with Kamukura after this framing. She lets him hang around, but when he decides to leave, she doesn't make any sort of fuss or try to attack him anymore, because she doesn't really care about him. He was only as important to her as his title was to the school, and once that title was tarnished, any connection between them she pretended to have was dropped. The next time these characters meet, it will no longer be the real Despairing Junko tainting some artificial husk of a person, filled with talent and emptied of heart, but rather, an artificial Despair combatting a survivor's true identity.
Part 14- The Brainwashing
Okay, let's talk about this. Was the brainwashing a good move for the story? Was it actually planned from sdr2? Or was it something half-assed at the last second because Kodaka didn't think that far ahead? Well, imo, it was almost definitely intended from their conception, and is very reflective of Junko's own motivations and goals.
From as early as DR 0, brainwashing tactics are evident within Junko's work. When Ryoko meets the reseve course's underground cult, she finds them watching a single video of mutual killing over and over again, with a fixation on its contents that's unnatural.
"[The cultists] didn‘t even bother to glance at me. Their eyes were still plastered to the monitors in front of them. .... Every monitor was a pitch black, none had a single image projecting on it.
'It‘ll… start again soon… so…' the monobear heads sitting in front of me said in monotone." -DR 0
Brainwashing is again brought up within SDR2, as not only is Hajime expressly a human experiment due to alteration of the brain specifically, but the entire class is referred to by Makoto as 'brainwashed'. At this point in the series, there's no reason for him to actually know this short of Kamukura possibly telling him they were brainwashed, so we can reasonably assume this statement is rooted in Makoto's inability to understand Despair and seeing anyone's craving of it as a mental disease that can be cured(not an unreasonable conclusion to reach, considering the Everything About Junko he was led to witness). Ergo, it's not beyond reason to assume that brainwashing was well within the bounds of possibility for the characters even at that time.
While the idea of brainwashing the class into Despair appears to rob the class of their moral complexities that came from being RoD, the view we as an audience are given by Makoto, Kyoko, and Byakuya within SDR2 is only ever that the RoD were victims of Despair. The survivors are already established as more reliable narrators than AI Junko thanks to the first game, so there's no reason not to trust that what they say is likely true. In addition, Junko never actually directly states that they did it of their own free will, just that they were on the same side and tries to get them not to listen to Makoto, her already-established opposite.
The idea of class 77 being brainwashed went from theory to canon in DR3, and while the method of their brainwashing is controversial(the line 'cutting through their free will like swiss cheese' from the dub is pretty aggravating), it still lines up with Junko's pre-established goals and motivations. She goes to Hope's Peak to tear down Hope and replace it with Despair, and after being shown a class full of Hope united by their love for the same person, she exploits it and is able to use their love against them to create Despair as an outsider. She's introduced to the class, uses them, and then lets them all go do their own Despairing thing because she doesn't actually care what they do. What matters most is her own Despair, and tearing hope to pieces. So her interaction with class 77 remains minimal, a mere experiment for Despair in the same way Hajime was an experiment for hope, and then keeps going about her business, calling on them presumably only if she needs something like the execution contraptions.
14.1- The Despair Videos & Knowing the Difference
There's not just 1 Despair video. Over the course of the anime, we're introduced to three, and each one has different levels of effect on those who watch it. Knowing the difference between these three videos is quintessential when talking about the brainwashing and how each character to watch a video is affected, as well as understanding different characters' roles in the narrative as they pertain to the videos. So let's establish the differences between these 3 videos and their effectiveness before we move forward.
14.1.1- The Student Council Massacre
The first Despair video, aka "the prototype", aka the Mutual Killing Video, is the one created using the footage of the student council's beta mutual killing game. This is the one made solely by Junko's attempted mimicry of Mitarai's animation talents, taking security footage of the mutual killing and sharing it with the Reserve Course and Mikan as a test run. And while it does have some level of effect on them, inspiring 'the parade' and having a hand in Mikan falling for Junko, it doesn't work nearly well enough to actually rewire their brains for Despair or strip them of their hope in the way that Junko would like. Even in the context of a parade, it's still very much a protest in the hopes of change. There's still the demands of a refund, of being let into the main course. Even when shown the Despair of the truth, there is still hope that things can be changed or fixed. And that's not what Junko wants. The only character that we've seen to watch this video to end with the aforementioned 'spiral eye' telltale of true brainwashing is Chisa, who we know was also being actively lobotomized by Mukuro during a repeated viewing to force it to work. This instruction came from some manual Mukuro was left with, presumably written by either Junko or Ryota.
While this video is what starts the parade, what eventually pushes the parade to violence isn't Junko. It's the inaction of Hope's Peak Academy and refusal to acknowledge their mistakes. Instead of coming clean, they bury everything wrong they've done even further and have their security beat the shit out of anyone that tries to find answers for themselves, doing so in the name of 'protecting them' from information. They keep the wrongdoings of their 'real' students under wraps at the expense of their underlings, fully buying into a talent-based hierarchy they created. Those without special talents are sources of finance- nothing more, nothing less. And when that overwhelming majority questions that, and finds evidence that HPA doesn't care, of course they'll retaliate. The video itself isn't a brainwasher, but when combined with the very real negative effects of the classism which the Reserve Course students find themselves hurt by, it makes its influence that much stronger.
14.1.2- Human Chiaki's Death
The second Despair video is Chiaki's execution, and is a live recording shown to her classmates. As far as we've ever seen, this is the only instance in which this is ever shown. This live recording is enough to send class 77 into Despair properly, spiral eyes and all, but there's an underlying implication that the primary reason for this is because of how important Chiaki specifically was to them. Throughout the season, and especially in this episode, Chiaki is established as the glue that holds the class together. Despite not being an extremely sociable person, she connected to her class with her love of games, and her earnest love of it endeared her to them, and their love of her did vice versa. The footage locked them each into place, unable to look away, and once they were at their lowest, at the very end of the video, Junko swoops in to dub them all Remnants and decides for them that they will now cause Despair for her. And because she says this when the live footage has brought them to their lowest, they each fall into this trap, at least to some extent. Whether or not they truly belive in what they're doing, they do it, because that feeling of Despair is their last connection to Chiaki left.
But, similarly to the prototype, it's still ultimately insufficient. Granted, it's much more effective than the prototype, but it isn't a full mindwipe, either. We know this because when we meet Nagito Komaeda in UDG as the Servant, he's still himself. He still has some level of self-control, able to speak and act as an individual even when following the orders of Monaca or the other WoH. He says himself that he despises Junko more than anyone else in the world, and follows through with Despair with the faith that it'll inspire a newer hope to conquer it. He says something similar in that moment of brainwashing as well.
"Nanami is our hope. Look what she did to her. What Despair... What a horrific sight! This is... This is the Despair we must overcome? Ah, Nanami... You understand, right? At this moment, you are becoming a stepping stone to hope!" -Nagito Komaeda, DR3
You could possibly attribute this to Nagito's luck cycle and history with tragedy just making him have a higher resistance to the brainwashing, and honestly, there's no strong way to contradict that, since Nagito and Mikan are the only ones we ever see in Despair outside of a montage, but narratively, I doubt they'd make a point to show one of the RoD hating Junko if it weren't to make the point that they had agency. Nagito was just the fan favorite, so of course it was gonna be him. You saw the fanservice in UDG.
14.1.3- Mitarai's Animation
The third and true Despair video is the inversed Monokuma Theatre, which is used to mentally hack its viewer and drive them into such a strong state of Despair that they kill themselves right then and there. This is objectively the strongest of the Despair videos, and the most effective, with the only character it doesn't immediately convince to kill themselves being the Future Foundation chairman Kazuo Tengan. This is mostly for plot reasons, but I'll address this specific exception to the rule later on and why this was the case.
The Monokuma Theatre video is mass-emailed to the Reserve Course students after they destroy the shiny new building their parents were tricked into paying for. The video hacks their minds when in an already vulnerable state, and each and every one of them jumps out of the building and kills themselves. Just as quickly as they take some control and uproot the system that hurt them so, they fall victim to the games of another who never cared for them in the first place. The purpose of the video was to create a horde of faceless victims to spurn others into action, and it worked like a charm, spiraling the world into a state of Despair. The RoD used their influence to ensure a smooth transition into this state of worldwide chaos as well, having significantly more social power and reach to spur more and more people into the fray.
The Monokuma Theatre video is also what makes the members of the Future Foundation kill themselves in the Future Arc, hacking their minds and then dropping a knife with which to stab themselves with. It works on every character that watches it- Chisa, Gozu, Seiko, Ruruka, and Makoto. Each of these characters are in various mental states when they watch it, yet all of them fall to it, without exception. It doesn't matter who you are or what you believe in. If there's even one thing you regret in your life, the video can and will work on you. It just does. And by that logic, it's the only real 'brainwashing' video, because it can work on anyone who watches it. The one character who seems to withstand it is the one who builds an entire killing game using said video just to force its creator to action, and doesn't even seem so much as affected by it. Really, it calls into question whether or not he was even affected by it.
14.1.4- The Flashback Light (Bonus Brainwashing!)
The Flashback Lights are used solely in V3, and are invented by the mysterious Team DR to reprogram the memories of their victims to play along in their scripted killing game. We see this work on both Kaede and Shuichi, as well as see the aftereffects it has on the rest of the class.
We learn while investigating that Tsumugi is the one responsible for creating the Flashback Lights, and that she's been the mastermind who knew what was happening the entire time. However, this initially opens up a plot hole in that Tsumugi has also been shown the Flashback Lights multiple times. There are 3 viable explanations for this. The first one is that she just closed her eyes, which is extremely boring and kind of a copout. The second is that she didn't know she was the mastermind until near the end, and Kaede's murder plot failing was a ruse by Team DR for the story, but that makes that entire reveal lose a lot of its impact. The third explanation, therefore, makes the most logical and narrative sense, and actually doubles as a reason why Tengan would be the only one to withstand the Monokuma Theatre in DR3: Tsumugi wears glasses.
Yeah, I know, that sounds silly, but let's actually break it down. In NDRV3, two characters are shown to wear glasses, and only two- Tsumugi Shirogane, and Gonta Gokuhara. Gonta, however, has two unique traits that are relevant here. One, he has 20/0.625 vision(strong enough to see the near microscopic Monokuma cameras), and two, he wants nothing more than to appear as a gentleman. I don't think it's a stretch to say he's wearing empty frames to appear more gentlemanly, especially considering they're paired with a full suit.
Tsumugi is the mastermind, and the one who has the most insight into what's happening in the game. She's the one who knew the difference between her actual self and the character Tsumugi that she played(it's implied in the dating sim that Tsumugi isn't her real name), despite having seen the Flashback Lights with the class several times. So isn't it entirely possible that having glasses to reflect the light of those Flashbacks was what let her pass for being affected as well? And, if that's the case, then it would also explain why Tengan, who wears glasses, would be resistant to the effects of the animated video, as everyone else who we know watched the animated version before their death didn't wear glasses. The faceless Reserve Course students don't have glasses, and neither do any of the five characters in Future Arc to watch it. It's completely ridiculous, and simultaneously totally plausible, for the idea of glasses reflecting off light and lessening the effects of such a video to be the explanation for why the videos or lights exclusively didn't work on these masterminds.
8.7- Ryota Mitarai
Junko's connection to Ryota is objectively the weakest part of her story, and admittedly a major part of why the brainwashing of class-77 falls under such scrutiny. Whereas every other part of Junko's plan is pretty well-established within her characterization, the connections she makes having actual sense to their conception and development, and just general consistency within the narrative, her meeting Ryota is not only a stroke of random luck on her part, but emphasized as one, and this just does not make sense for a character within said narrative to have never once been characterized as having any level of luck or fortune prior. This is especially glaring in a world that has established luck mechanics via characters like Makoto, Nagito, and Celeste. Junko just isn't a character meant to have luck like this, and never has any sort of moments or accomplishments stemming from luck before or after this outright.
When Junko and Ryota meet, it's because they walk past each other going in and out of the infirmary, and Junko, for no visible reason, decides to start talking to him right then and there. She starts squealing and hugging him, jumping up and down, and says this upon Mukuro's asking why: "I don't know, but... this is what I'm telling myself: This is yet another... fateful encounter!"
There's no rationale to this. There just isn't. It's not her SHSL Analyst talent having picked up on him over time, or her recognizing him via someone else, or anything of the sort. It's totally unjustified random chance for the convenience of the plot, and that's what makes this introduction so weak.
Really, the issue of Ryota's involvement falls more in their introduction than his actual function in the anime. Considering his characterization and the connections Ryota had prior to this, it would've made infinitely more sense if Junko had met Mikan first while in the infirmary, and buttered her up enough for Mikan to introduce the two of them. Knowing Mikan, it wouldn't have taken much, and would've made more sense for Ryota to be so willing to share a part of his life's work while still incomplete if he was introduced to Junko by someone he already trusted. Regardless, that's not what happened, but I say this mostly because I want to affirm that with Junko and Ryota's connection, it's the introduction that doesn't make sense, not what follows.
That said, once the awkwardness of how they meet is out of the way, what follows is fairly reasonable. She asks about his talent, purposefully mocks his interests to trick him into showing off, and then takes advantage of what she learns about him, which just so happens to be brainwashing techniques that she'd already be somewhat familiar with thanks to Yasuke.
Once they're acquainted, Junko uses her knowledge of the school and what she's stolen from the kidnapped trustees to set up Ryota underground where she can keep him under control, and so he can't mistakenly squeal about what she's setting up. She uses his passion against him to bastardize it into what she needs and manipulates him into walking into his own cell by doing so. It's not her most genius move of all time, and it's not a difficult one to understand either, but it's one that works.
What matters most to understand, though, is that she doesn't seem to develop any sort of affection for him in the way that she did for Mikan. When he finally uncovers what she's doing, Junko gives him a simple sales pitch, and threatens him indirectly with Mikan's friends.
By now, she knows damn well that he's met a grand total of two of his classmates, one of which just tried to sexually assault him mere moments prior, so this doesn't seem like the most effective tactic she could've used. But Ryota is a sensitive person. A victim of bullying growing up, the whole point of his brainwashing animations was to make people more empathetic subliminally. So to force him to help her, Junko is able to target this empathy by targeting Mikan over Ryota himself. Her abuse of Mikan is painful for Ryota to look at, and he wrongfully puts all the blame for the way Mikan acts solely on Junko because he doesn't know any better. And Junko lets him, because it's convenient for her to manipulate.
"As you have inferred, the mutual killing video you watched is the reason Tsumiki ended up this way. However, in order to reach my objective, this is insufficient. My lack of brainwashing ability is the cause." -Junko Enoshima, DR3
As we know, Junko is an unreliable narrator. She can and has lied to people's faces for the sake of manipulating them, telling half-truths and intentionally warping the truth to shift her victims' perspective in a way that she wants. We never see Mikan's fall, only cutting from her first meeting Junko to her already being in love with her, and as we've established, not only was Mikan already pretty fucked up prior to meeting Junko, but she doesn't exhibit the symptoms of a complete brainwashing at this point. She still has her mental faculties about her. So logically, that means she's doing the same here. Yes, Mikan watched the prototype video, and yes, it was insufficient. Hence why we as an audience can understand with our meta-context that Mikan still has her mental faculties intact. Ryota, on the other hand, doesn't have that benefit, so when Junko says this, the implication is that Junko took the meek, shy, kind version of Mikan that Ryota knew and twisted her into an evil, hypnotized slave of Junko's. It's an intentionally warped perception of the truth that Junko uses to her advantage, to the point where she flat-out says she can't brainwash at this point and brainwashing is still commonly attributed as the sole reason for Mikan's behavior in this scene.
Ryota cares about the few friends he does have, taking Mikan's and the SHSL Imposter's requests to take care of himself by resting and going to the infirmary even when he doesn't want to to ease their worries. So of course, when faced with the idea that he could prevent Mikan's loved ones from getting hurt, even though he doesn't know the vast majority of them, he caves regardless. It doesn't have to affect him. The people around him are important enough for this threat to work anyways. They're not his precious classmates, but they are the Imposter's; they are Mikan's. And Ryota is a very weak man. So he complies.
Later, when he escapes, she hunts him down to thank him for his help, and then allows him to run away, letting him believe that he's the reason why class 77 were the ones to be brainwashed.
"The video I had you help me with. The complete version of that. I'll have your whole class watch it now!"
The 'video' that Junko has them watch is a live recording of Chiaki's death maze. Meanwhile, the Despair video that the Reserve Course goes on to watch after the riots, and that Chisa Yukizome is subjected to, are different videos entirely, forcefully reprogramming them and removing their hope outright. Since Ryota's an animator, we can ascertain he's responsible for the one the Reserve Course watches, with an animated Monokuma. In other words, Junko does not, in fact, have his class watch the video he helped her make. She's lying to him to send him further into Despair.
"Imagine it... Because of you, all your classmates will fall into a deep, deep Despair. They'll become people who think of nothing but plunging this world into Despair, the Super High-School Level Despairs!"
It's a bold-faced lie, and one that Ryota has no knowledge with which to contradict it. Because he's a coward, and because Junko's already messed with his head so much, he runs and hides rather than face what he's done. She even leaves him with parting words of responsibility, twisting what happened with sarcasm so he'll always blame himself for her actions.
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Ryota is by no means a perfect victim, but that doesn't change the fact that he is one. He was manipulated, and when he found out he was manipulated, he was threatened, albeit indirectly. But Junko was always planning to send Hope's Peak and the world into Despair. His video made it easier for her, but he is not and never was responsible for her actions. And by making him carry the guilt of her choices, she leaves him in a state of pathetic, guilty Despair akin to a genuine 'thank you' from her.
Part 15- AI Junko
AI Junko(or Kaijunko, as I like to refer to her as) appears as the reincarnation of Junko, created by Chihiro's AI technology and forming a Despair virus to infect the Neo World Program. She doesn't allow the Hope Restoration Program to follow through, instead taking Usami's teacher role and manipulating the world to be a Despair Restoration Program. The motives she uses are extremely personal and targeted, hyperfocusing in on specific members of the class each time to ensure a murder happens the way she needs it to.
Something that's important to remember, though, is that Kaijunko IS NOT Junko. She's an artificial recreation of the real Junko intended to continue programming Despair into the world after she'd inevitably passed. And as such, she isn't a 1:1 replica, and there are key differences between the two in the same way Alter Ego is different from Chihiro and Observer Chiaki is different from the human Chiaki.
The reason Junko fell into SHSL Despair was because her intellect combined with human need for stimuli left her with such a deep depression and boredom that pain and suffering were the only ways to make her feel alive. But as an AI program, Kaijunko isn't burdened by that same need. She's programmed to have the same goal of spreading Despair, but she doesn't have a personal, insatiable need for Despair in the way that Junko did. And this leads her to have a different endgoal for the final trial than what the real Junko might have chosen.
Kaijunko observes and learns from Izuru Kamukura and the RoD, as well as the Towa City residents, in the same way Alter Ego learned from class 78. The brainwashing video forcefully reprogrammed them, yes, but ultimately, they still loved each other as friends and classmates, even if Chiaki wasn't there with them, and it's that dedication to each other that Kaijunko learns about. It's why those connections are the ones tested within the SDR2 killing game; Kaijunko, who actually came into contact with the RoD personally and was toted around by Kamukura, would know what to use to create a killing game that would leave the most desperate group of survivors at the end to follow through on Junko's plans to reconstruct them all into her.
However, because Kaijunko isn't constricted to the same need to destroy herself, she can afford to bend the plan around impulsively in the way Junko herself had in the past, but in a way that'd align with the original Junko's goals to harm others around her without needing to harm herself anymore. Thus, in the final trial, she doesn't push those desperate survivors to want to escape. Instead, she uses her knowledge gathered to make them want to stay in the world Makoto provided to them, where none of them have to face the consequences of the RoD's actions, Kaijunko included.
One of the ongoing themes across the board for SDR2 is how artificial everything about it is. The island is artificial. Chiaki is artificial. Hajime is an artificial hope. The RoD are artificial Despairs. Similarly, Kaijunko is an artificial Junko. She goes through those same motions as the original Junko, but she is not, cannot be Junko. She can only mimic, never be, and so she tries to escape altogether by resetting the game to a state where the RoD live an escapist dream, and she's locked in the game with 'her' classmates forever. But despite this, because she's mimicked Despair, she's become part of it, and Hajime and the others do the one thing Junko can't ever succeed in doing: they choose themselves, and she disappears without a chance of hope, just like Ryoko before her. Hajime and class 77 forge a new future, and Kaijunko dies trapped in the shadows of the past.
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8.6.1- Hajime Hinata
If the battle between Makoto and Junko in THH is a battle of ideologies- hope and Despair- then the battle between Hajime and Junko is a battle of wills. This is the battle between self-love and self-hatred, and both Hajime and Junko are faced with their opposite, only to reject it in favor of what they want for themselves most.
Hajime's main character arc is one of self-discovery. When we meet him, he's been stripped of everything that's made him himself, having a gap in his memory that has his identity within it. This is a direct parallel to Ryoko Otonashi's lack of memory, having no identity or memories of the past with which to identify herself. She has only the words others tell her. But in the case of Hajime, it's revealed that the supposed gap is virtually nonexistent. He has no special talent or ability that differentiates him from the rest. He's a blank slate- empty, one might say. And this is quite similar to Ryoko. In a similar way, Izuru and Junko are both burdened by the weight of their talents. In the case of Izuru, he was operated on to remove all emotions and thoughts to be a symbol for Hope's Peak, while Junko's Analyst talent left her burdened with the inability to enjoy anything.
There are also similarities to Izuru and Ryoko, having both had their minds operated on to remove all memories of their true identity and become someone new, while Hajime and Junko both feel a heavy burden of who they are and feel as if that makes it impossible for them to enjoy their lives as they are. This parallel is exactly why Hajime's choice to live, and choosing to live in the face of retreating into the NWP, is so impactful, especially when faced with the shadow of Junko Enoshima.
Junko never chose herself. She never could choose herself, and when given the opportunity to, she rejected it entirely, too addicted to the cycle of self-destruction she'd created for herself. She felt as though Despair was the only answer for her, so she could never stop searching for it, even from beyond the grave. That not just she should feel it, but everyone should. Everyone needed to know the way she felt. And she used anything and anyone at her disposal to make sure the world burned, because she wanted to feel, and what was the point of such a world pretending not to feel Despair anyways?
Hajime chose himself. It wasn't for anyone but himself. When looking in the face of what he'd turned himself into for hope, he was able to come to the conclusion inverse to what Junko did- that he didn't need to change for the sake of anyone else. It didn't matter that he wasn't SHSL like the people he admired, so long as he lived for himself. Meanwhile, when Junko reverted back to herself, it was like dragging herself back into a cage, being burdened by the same kind of talent that Hajime never needed. A talent she never asked for was the source of her undoing, while Hajime's lack thereof almost killed him in the pursuit of one.
The dichotomy of the talented vs the talentless is one that can be felt extremely strongly between dr0, sdr2, and dr3, but especially when in regards to the divide between these two characters, as it again circles back to the damage the hierarchy they find themselves in creates. Junko is a heralded SHSL Analyst and Gyaru, dubbed by Japan as superior and handed the influence that makes it so much easier for her to poke holes in the system until it collapses. Even when all the evidence is placed on her, she's the SHSL Analyst, and can convince HPA to keep quiet for her. They cover up her crimes, and when they can't anymore, she's part of the 'chosen' that receive protection from the government while the Reserve Course and their families are never mentioned again. Hajime has nothing, is considered nothing, is even beaten and told to 'take to the leash and collar already' to keep him complacent. His choice to become Kamukura is weighted by the pressures of the system he's trapped within, holding him not only to his desire to be considered important, but to be equal, not to mention the debt he's placed in just for the right to participate in said hierarchy. Those treated like nothing are downtrodden to accept the system and uphold it, and those with power can do whatever they want and the system will protect them.
In a lot of ways, Hajime and Junko are more similar to each other than any other two characters in the franchise, all the way down to the sacrifice of the ones they closest around them sending them on their final path- Junko with Mukuro, and Hajime with Nagito. And in mirroring this, Nagito eventually returns, while Mukuro never can.
Mukuro and Junko are twins, and work to attain the same goal, but they're still very different people. Junko is absolutely fucked up, and Mukuro follows her out of a twisted need to be by her side, even when it leads to her eventual death. Hajime and Nagito are repeatedly called out as similar, both needing the other to get through the trials and survive and being forced to come to an understanding, but still retaining their individuality and separate beliefs. When Mukuro dies, it's directly because of her loyalty to Junko, even at the cost of herself, and Junko's betraying her resulted in both their deaths. Nagito died because of his loyalty to hope, even at the cost of himself, and Hajime's trust in him was what allowed him to survive and eventually bring Nagito back. Where Mukuro was metaphorically absorbed into Junko and forgotten, Nagito's individuality was what became critical to Hajime.
15.1- Shirokuma & Kurokuma
This part will remain brief. Shirokuma and Kurokuma are the AIs found in an all-white and all-black bear in UDG, each positioned on one side of the Towa City genocide and perpetuating the war by manipulating the Towa siblings.
Shirokuma is the 'good' one, and is positioned with the adult survivors. He's the one responsible for creating the underground safe house, and is Haiji's right-hand. Even when making it appear as though he wants peace first and foremost, he goes on to pilot Big Bang Monokuma and stands with Haiji, playing him and Komaru to escalate things.
Kurokuma is the 'bad' one, and is the one who gave Monaca the plan to create a Successor in the first place. He's a chatterbox that's an advisor to the WoH, presumably left behind by Junko or created by Monaca, and pushes the kids into their murder games by standing with Monaca.
Near the end of the game, Kurokuma reveals that Shirokuma is his little brother, and later in the epilogue, we learn that they were actually not distinct AIs, but rather, the same AI Junko as in SDR2 that was working both sides to destroy Towa City. Them taking the form of siblings mirrors that Junko herself was a twin, and isn't truly complete if she doesn't have her sibling still present.
Part 16- Big Sis Junko (UDG)
Following SDR2, UDG returned a master-manipulator Junko to the scene via the Warriors of Hope. Though AI Junko is present and perpetuating the war through her manipulation of the Towas, Junko herself is all but gone, survived only through the kids' memory of her, and what they have to say is extremely telling to the capability Junko really had to push people further towards her Despair.
Her role as 'Big Sis Junko' came when she prevented them from killing themselves, though how she knew to be there at the right time is unknown. We can assume she'd been keeping eyes on Monaca already and, through her Analyst talent, figured out when the right time to be to show up.
From there, they became the Warriors of Hope, not missed by their parents that hated them or worried for by the world, and Junko was free to mold them however she liked. She did this by teaching them to lash out at the people responsible for their suffering- not just their parents and abusers, but any and all adults. She was a teenage girl who'd taken pity on them, as far as most of them saw, and so they trusted her as the first and only person besides each other to show them kindness. They became ideological, lumping all adults within the same box of 'demon' because they were given no other comparison, and they did it for Junko.
"As far as I remember, the first adult we defeated was a random person we didn't even know. .... From there, we leveled ourselves up by killing Demons. Big Sis Junko was so pleased..." -Nagisa Shingetsu, UDG chapter 4
They came to rely on her as their one true savior, and even those of them who knew they were being manipulated didn't care, if only it meant they weren't the ones being beaten anymore.
"At least, at the time I thought it was a miracle. But later I learned it was inevitable. She came into my life just to take advantage of me." -Monaca Towa, UDG chapter 5
"'You guys... were completely deceived by Junko Enoshima.' 'And what's wrong with that? Did I not tell you that we are her possessions? We would rather her take advantage of us than horrible adults.' 'Sounds like it's too late.' 'Say what you like. Big Sis Junko... gave us hope. That's the truth.'" -Toko Fukawa & Nagisa Shingetsu, UDG chapter 4
And when she died, she was martyred, a victim of the cowards who'd believe in the adults and Hope's Peak. By dying, she completed her manipulation of them, ensuring in her absence, they would only remember the kindness she offered them. Anyone who said otherwise must be a demon.
"No matter how much you hate us, no matter how much we're shunned, we're definitely not wrong. That's the real truth, because Big Sis Junko said so. .... Those adults who took her away from us and said that she was the bad one! They're the filthy ones; they're the ugly ones, the disgusting ones!!!" -Jataro Kemuri, UDG chapter 2
This manipulation and creation of the WoH stemmed from a practical source, as we learn in the game. By Monaca's own admission, Junko only ever cared about getting access to Towa City tech for her Monokumas and for spreading Despair wide-scale. Having highly talented and abused kids to carry out her will when she was gone was just a very welcome bonus; having the youth primed to continue spreading Despair when she was gone would create a legacy, and her ghost would continue to haunt those with hope for at least another generation. Enter Monaca Towa.
8.8- Monaca Towa & the WoH (CW: Mentions of Incest & Pedophilia)
Monaca is differentiated from the rest of the Warriors of Hope almost immediately as being more aware of what the fuck is going on than her friends. She's the L'il Ultimate/SESL Homeroom that loves hearing everyone else talk about their thoughts and feelings, she's the one who invented the Captives game, and she has swastikas in her eyes, because Nazi symbolism was the only way we could convey she's a dictator I guess. As the game goes on, we see that her relationship with Junko is different from the rest of the class- a bit more substantial. She has much more knowledge of Junko's desire for Despair and knows the real reason Junko sought them out in the first place. She uses her friends' idolization of her to trick them into helping her make a new generation Junko to carry her memory. She also has a hidden bedroom full of photos of Junko, and one in particular stands out among the rest.
Junko and Monaca, all by themselves, posing for a photo. None of the other WoH are present for this photo. It's also worth noting that Monaca's in her WoH outfit, even though in every other flashback or cutaway to the past before Junko's death, they were all in their Hope's Peak Elementary uniforms. If it weren't already obvious, these two were spending more time together than with the rest of the WoH. This is primarily because of the explanation we've already been given- Junko needed tech, Monaca was the one that had it. Of course extra work was gonna be put into her, and if she felt special in comparison, she'd become more like Junko.
Both Monaca and Junko are a younger sister, and their older siblings are established as pretty creepy in their own ways. Mukuro is incestuous and lusts after Junko whenever they're together, or even just when thinking about her. Haiji, meanwhile, is a pedophile, mentioning he likes girls younger, "as young as I can get 'em." I don't have to explain why the knowledge he has an extremely younger half-sister he expressly doesn't think counts as family is a bloodcurdling realization given this information. While they seem to have very different levels of connection with their siblings, this is a pretty distinct commonality to give both masterminds, especially when one is meant to immediately succeed the other. Both girls are also considered the "genius" of their families, while their older siblings use more brute strength.
Monaca is a character built upon the mimicry of Junko. We know this because we pay attention to the game, but also because if we look at the concept art and beta forms of the Successor, we can see without question that creating a "New Junko" was always going to be a major part of UDG, as not one, but two unused Successor characters were considered before Monaca eventually became who she is today as the mastermind and true Successor.
Monaca throughout UDG undergoes a similar behavior to Junko in the way that she treats the WoH, but it's in a way the fundamentally misunderstands why Junko acts the way she does. Monaca is a child, and idolizes Junko, but that doesn't mean she actually understands her, even if she got much closer than her friends.
Monaca manipulates and discards the other WoH one by one, making herself the center of their movement and letting them believe they have control over what they're doing. She motivates them with a Paradise that'll never exist, similar to how Junko motivated the reserve course to stand up against Hope's Peak, and they take over Towa City. Whenever a WoH disappears, she decides whether or not they're mourned, but it appears as though she doesn't care and never did. She quickly forgets Masaru's name, barely bothers with Jataro, and later in her backstory monologue, proudly claims that when Junko met them, she was planning to let her only friends all kill themselves as a prank and not jump herself. She takes all the steps possible to Not Care about these people, similar to how Junko seemed not to care about the people she loved.
If Monaca spent enough time around Junko to observe and pick up this pattern, it likely means she also saw how little Junko actually cared for herself and her friends. This would explain why she starts acting as though she doesn't care at all for her only friends in the world and discarding them, wanting to emulate Junko, her idol. It also means she knew Junko didn't care about her, but her talents, and just didn't care because it was Junko. Again, this is a mentality not just held by her within the WoH, but because she was given a peek behind the curtain, she filled in the blanks in her head and let herself continue to be manipulated by Kurokuma, all in the hopes that Junko could return and manipulate her again. She needed a Successor, someone to fill that sisterly void again. And in that desperate desire, she inadvertently set herself up to someday become the SESL Despair.
Nagito's intervention is directly stated as the reason why she ends up abandoning this role as SESL Despair and fucking off to space as SESL Apathy instead, shrugging it off as 'not wanting to end up like he did'. This appears to be a deviation from what was originally intended for her, as not only was this wrapped up in a singular episode of an anime not actually about her, but the teaser images for a UDG 2 in UDG's credits ultimately ended up unused, and V3 totes a teaser of a canceled UDG 2.
Part 17- Junko's Apocalyptic Crash Course
"Right now, Hope’s Peak Academy is set up in a pyramid sort of idea that a third world country would use; it’s only really there to concentrate it’s effort on the 'super high school levels', for their benefit, and then below them are the reserve students from the preparatory school. .... The teachers here don’t really think any of the reserve students really belong here." -Yasuke Matsuda, DR 0
As we've seen repeatedly throughout the previous games and DR 0, Junko's strengths don't come from sheer force of will. She didn't take some perfect world of hope and twist it into a world of Despair by flipping some ideological switch. She's charismatic, but still human. Junko's strength comes from her ability to analyze, her high intelligence, and her charisma combining to create a master manipulator. Using the skills and people at her disposal, she was able to amass a cult following, and inspire the downfall of a society that was already flawed by attacking the weak points that were already present. Ergo, Junko's SHSL Analyst talent led her to not only infiltrate the school, but also to find the flaws within it and the lies it covered up by taking advantage of the Kamukura project wearing the school thin.
She may have been the face of the Despair movement, but she wasn't a singularity. She had a small group of people she trusted with a certain amount of information, and who had skills that would become beneficial to her. Mukuro is the obvious right-hand, as previously discussed, and perhaps the only one she legitimately believed to be an equal, but there was also Yasuke, Izuru, Ryota, Mikan, and Monaca, all of whom she attached herself too and all of whom had an extremely useful talent or title that was immediately beneficial to her cause. These people were able to directly carry out her desired acts of Despair and work alongside her, reporting back to her to ensure things were running smoothly. These were people who were needed directly as they were, and who were most useful when they believed she genuinely took interest in them, whether she actually had or not.
In a world already so flawed, with thinly veiled atrocities already taking place by people who believe in a caste system of talent, earning a downtrodden majority's trust is as simple as taking the blindfold off. Manipulating the people she'd attached herself to let her reveal key information at her leisure and drive the school and its inhabitants to Despair without them noticing or knowing to take action until it was too late to stop it. Something manmade, that turned into a disease and spread across the world, infesting it with the Tragedy and burning the oh-so-predictable world to the ground, all while standing as the eye of the storm- that was the power of the SHSL Despair that Junko worshipped, and she became its spokesperson, sending the world into a spiral.
Part 18- Junko's Legacy (Death of the Human, Birth of the God)
Everyone that loves Junko, misunderstands Junko. This is a fact that we see more than once. Mukuro obsesses, not loves. Yasuke romanticizes a childhood he can never return to. Monaca idolizes her. Mikan overtly sexualizes her. Her classmates know nothing of her self-destructive nature. Junko knew this and Despaired every time. But this fundamental misunderstanding of who Junko is didn't just exist in the game. In real life, Junko Enoshima became an iconic villain, the teenage girl that burned the world, the Ultimate Despair. She was insanely popular, and still is. And the more popular a character gets, the more susceptible they become to misinterpretations, fanon, oversimplification, etc.
In becoming such a well-known figure, Junko Enoshima the person got lost in translation. There was now Junko Enoshima, the mascot, the figurehead. This isn't a phenomenon exclusive to Junko, of course, but as the titular villain of the series until this point, how could the series continue without her? To this very day, people can't agree on who Junko was or who she actually cared about or if she ever even cared for anyone at all. And when NDRV3 was made, it took advantage of this to tell its own story, utilizing Junko Enoshima specifically to demonstrate flanderization of characters within its lore.
Junko Enoshima is not a real person. She's a fictional character. All her motivations, her thoughts and feelings, are fabricated stories and vague implications from the writing of real people. And in V3, that 'real person' is Tsumugi Shirogane, one of many cogs in the machine of Team Danganronpa, who dresses up as Junko and uses her face to become 'Junko Enoshima the 53rd'. Junko has been used and reused over and over and over, to the point where the original vision has been muddied beyond belief. What she was at the beginning, way back in THH, no longer exists. She's now a silly mascot, a familiar face that fans can point at and dress as and draw fanart of, and a face that Team DR can profit off of. Tsumugi's portrayal is laughably inaccurate to the original Junko. It's a costume, nothing more, and the dialogue she gives when 'in-character' is simplistic and insignificant. All its weight comes not from the meaning, but from the reference for reference's sake.
Junko's appearance in V3, like many other moving parts of V3, reference real-world fandom culture. It's appealing to both the in-universe fandom and the real one, bringing back character sprites and voice actors and poking fun at its own ridiculousness because none of it is real, none of it ever was. It was because Junko was fiction that she could do everything she ever did. Her Despair has meaning, but that doesn't mean she felt the feelings we're told she did, because she never existed to feel them. And that's the thing that lets her forever remain an enigma; she is Danganronpa's villain, and to become immortalized in Despair, she deconstructed into nothing but the word Despair, a fate that is in and of itself Despairful.
8.9- Tsumugi Shirogane
Tsumugi Shirogane is the mastermind of V3, and believes wholeheartedly in Junko Enoshima as the true villain of Danganronpa. Tsumugi is built as the fandom insert of DR, being immersed in fandom culture in every conceivable way- winking at the camera, making references to other fandoms, the love and joy of making cosplay- but also the less palatable parts of major fandoms, like her purist views of cosplay, her usage of incest as both a serious plot point and as a gag, and even does blackface when cosplaying as the dark-skinned DR characters of dr1 and 2. She's also the in-universe producer of the season. Therefore, Tsumugi also represents content creators, and how even the creator themselves can lose the plot of the character in their attempts to create what they perceive to be a compelling story.
As Tsumugi is explaining her story and why she tied it back into the Hope's Peak era, she pretty openly admits that a) she sees it as a perfect reproduction and b) a necessary writing choice in order to make it interesting. Both are false, as not only is V3's continuity in a separate world from the Hope's Peak era, but her presentation of Junko and the voice lines aren't displayed the same way Junko had acted in previous installations.
"'So... you're just a freak pretending to be Junko Enoshima, huh!?' 'No, a perfect reproduction! Perfect reproductions are exactly the same as the original.'" -Maki Harukawa & Tsumugi Shirogane, V3
She presents Junko as a singularity, the Ultimate Despair, and brazenly parades her face around as the immortal and ever-present true Despair. She's the 53rd Despair simply because her influence wouldn't allow her to fade away. She's become Despair-incarnate, but in making new games, Team DR has forgotten why Junko caused Despair in the first place. She didn't do it just to do it; she threw the world into Despair because it made her feel human to feel Despair. And yet when Tsumugi explains Junko the 53rd's plans, it's nothing but a big show, and that's exactly what a surface-level Junko looks like to the masses- a high-school girl that ended the world for fun.
Junko's games had meaning. Even when she didn't feel particularly connected to a person, like the RoD, she still brought them into Despair for a purpose. She was an analyst, and did the things she did with intention and with care. Attention to detail and careful manipulation with the face of a charismatic gyaru was her forte. But Tsumugi's so-called "perfect reproduction" is a story full of plot holes and contradictions, all caused by some need to deify Junko. In other words, as they refused to let Danganronpa go, they lost the plot, and Junko's humanity went with it in a desire to continue using her image when writing new stories. In becoming a god of Despair, her origins as a human were forgotten.
Part 19- Despair Into Tomorrow (Why We Care)
Junko Enoshima is an enigma. She is Despair incarnate, a pillar of the Danganronpa world created by her own hands, hellbent on burning herself to the ground. She's a character of poetic irony, unknown to all as anything but Despair. She was born with a perfect mind, and in trying to feel human, feel pain, feel Despair, she became permanently deified by all that she loved and all that she met, whether that was as a savior who killed a cruel world or a demon that detested hope.
At every turn, Junko's actiona are filled with malice, and yet so often that malice is directed at herself. Living in a peaceful world pains her because it leaves her bored. Anhedonia is a cruel mistress, and those who claimed to love her could never once comprehend it, because they couldn't feel the way she felt. The only thing she had that connected her in any human way to others or to herself was grief, and her entire story becomes one of self-sabotage. Despite that, though, she's not the only character burdened by anhedonia, and her self-destructive nature outstretching to the people and world around her is designed as a story of caution.
In each and every installation of Danganronpa, Junko and the other masterminds inspired by her fail because of their key difference in connections. When Makoto appeals to his classmates, they're reminded of their own desires to live and their love for each other- Hina's memory of Sakura, Syo's love of Byakuya, Kyoko's and Byakuya's love of Makoto himself. The same can be said of when Hajime chooses himself, to fight for himself, and is inspired to do so by Chiaki. Every other survivor has someone that inspired them to live for themself- Peko, Nakomaru, Gundham, the people around them. When Komaru is saved by Toko, it's because she took the time to connect with her and with Syo, and that love saved her from destruction. When Munakata gave up hunting Makoto, it was because of his love for Chisa. And when Shuichi declared he wouldn't vote, it was so that Maki and Keebo wouldn't be forced into sacrifice of a system that would hurt them over and over again.
Junko had connections. Junko had people she loved. Junko had another half. But she burned them one by one, until there was nothing left but her, and then she burned that too. She's a villain even to herself, and she knows it. She feels Despair upon Despair and even then can't regret it, because she wouldn't let anything else touch her heart besides it. It's an inherently self-fulfilling prophecy to only feel Despair, because in order for that Despair to exist, she must have felt love first. But she doesn't acknowledge her love and her vulnerabilities because she believes those fall under her 'factory settings'. Comfort is boring; safety is boring, and boredom was her enemy, an enemy second only to herself.
Junko's actions stem from a deeply embedded self-hatred. She was too smart and too comfortable, and so her boredom became everything she was. She believed the lie she told herself, that pain and grief and Despair was the only answer. Don't be like Junko. Don't believe the lies you tell yourself. Even in an unjust world, you can try to make things better without making them worse. Feel your Despair and let it go. It is okay to let it go. You are still human, no matter what image the people around you have, and to be seen, you must first be vulnerable.
Afterword
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT'S BEEN OVER 5 MONTHS. I made jokes and gags about 'getting this out before 2025' but I didn't think that would actually end up as my deadline. Holy fuck.
Junko's analysis is by far the beefiest I've done so far, and very well could remain the biggest one in this entire series of analyses (I think Kyoko, Makoto, and mayyybe Chiaki or Hajime might get close, but otherwise? Those are def gonna be the big 5 though) But hey, that's what being the mastermind of the franchise gets you. In retrospect, Junko probably should've been the grand finale, not part 5/17 of this series' part 1, but whatever. I'll save that grand finale for Kyoko instead
This will probably be the most controversial analysis I put out, alongside the eventual Mukuro one. I know people are, uh, divided on their relationship, but I did my best to stay objective and look at it from an unbiased viewpoint for what they offer narratively and its effectiveness. And I hope people are able to see that. Just in case, though, I'm gonna have anons off for a bit until whatever circulation this post gets dies down lol
Honestly, my perception of Junko has changed so much over the course of these past several months. It's not like I didn't like her before, but she's morphed into one of my favorite villains in all of media after this. This girl just cannot fucking die, no matter how much she wants to, and I think there's something so deeply compelling about a villain that wants nothing more than to self-destruct and burn the world with them, especially if you've fallen into a depressive state like the one she's in before
Good news, though! The next analysis set is Hifumi's, which means it won't take nearly as long as this whopper of a tumblr post! I'm actually very eager to deconstruct him, so hopefully we can go back to the summer days where I was able to crank out an analysis after 2 weeks. Please, god, can we go back to the summer days where I cranked out an analysis after 2 weeks
Catch ya later! :P
#danganronpa spoilers#cw incest#enoshima junko#danganronpa enoshima#ai junko#mukuro ikusaba#makoto naegi#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura#ryoko otonashi#yasuke matsuda#mikan tsumiki#ryota mitarai#matsushima#junkan#DR character analysis#media analysis#danganronpa#character analysis#monaca towa#warriors of hope#tsumugi shirogane#character study#monokuma#thh#dr 0#sdr2#udg#dr3 anime#ndrv3
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:peers out the window:
hey is that your bf sitting on the stoop?
(ok ignore that there are people in the background)
Ransom Drysdale x rich!reader from The Root of All Ransom
Warnings for--act shocked 😮--cursing and an argument (fluffy). WC short, maybe ~500
You've left dinner simmering on the stove to check for where your fiancé's gone off to.
He's outside, hunched over in the cold on the brick stairs leading to his wooded backyard.
Ransom rarely looks contemplative, but there he is, spinning his pinky ring and staring like he could melt it down by thought alone.
"Hugh," you call as you slink through the sliding door, "everything okay?"
Ran pulls a sharp breath through his nose and sits up.
"Fine."
That's a bit too dismissive for you.
"What's wrong with your hand? Does it hurt?"
With a shake of his head, he scrunches his nose and lift his palm higher.
"I think it's gonna feel weird." He spreads his fingers and pinches them back together. "Not gonna work side-by-side."
"What isn't?" you ask, sitting down beside him.
Ran just sighs and looks off into the trees. "A wedding band."
The man perpetually loathes change, and it's become your default to assure him very little ever will. Doing the average thing is boring. Ransom hates to be bored or boring. He always needs control over his appearance, too.
"If it bothers you that much then don't get one."
His head snaps up as you continue.
"It's just a ring, Hugh, and you know that if you ever cheat on me, I'll just have Dubois kill you," you shrug, a playful glint in your eye, hoping to make Ran laugh. "I'm sure he'd even do it for free."
Eyes angry and frowning, Ran scoffs. "He and I reached an agreement of mutual indifference...and I'm getting a fucking wedding ring."
Ok, so it's your turn to laugh instead.
"It's not funny. We're getting married, and I'm gonna have a fucking ring!" The bite in his tone is dead serious and utterly hilarious.
"Yeah, makes sense."
"Why would I not wear the goddamn ring?" he snaps. "You fucking better."
You have to tuck your lip into your teeth to stop smiling. "It sounded like you didn't want to."
His arms shoot out, chest broad and wide open, aghast. "You asked what I was thinking about, so I fucking told you."
"It's okay to be nervous, honey--"
"I'm not nervous," he barks.
"--because there's a lot going on right now. I get it--"
"I was just thinking--" he rips the pinky ring off his hand and shows you the chunky gold emblem "--I'd have to get this little piece of shit resized, for fuck's sake, not that I wouldn't want to wear a goddamn wedding ring! What the fuck, woman?"
You have to cover your mouth and snort, tearing up in amusement at his ire.
"Sorry," you wheeze, "you looked so serious. I thought--oh wow--I thought you--you're so dramatic." It ends on a cackle you can't hold back.
Ran's brow furrows.
"It's a practical concern."
You fail to compose yourself.
"I'm serious," he repeats. "It's a perfectly legitimate train of thou--why are you still laughing? Stop!"
You wipe your face to help relax your muscles and do as he asks.
"I know," you whisper. "I get it, Hugh. I do."
Of course, his eyes remain fixed on you suspiciously, especially when your hands cup his rosy cheeks.
"So sentimental," you coo.
"It was a normal idea I was thinking through, goddamn it."
You hiss and cluck your tongue. "Ouch, that must have hurt."
"Hardy fuckin' har," Ran gripes, swatting away your hands and shuffling to bully you into his lap, one of your feet landing on each of the steps, his arms wrapping your waist in a bruising hug.
You keep smiling at him while carding through his hair.
"Sentimental," you observe softly.
Ransom presses himself into your unscarved and bare throat, muttering "bitch" with the utmost appreciation.
You kiss the top of his head before burying your chilly fingers beneath the neck of his thick sweater.
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I promise."
He grips you even tighter.
You two stay like that for a long time, which is fine, because dinner needs to simmer.
::very, very, very long evil laugh::
((I always feel like I should skip tags for really short stuff, ugh. IDK yet.))
[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
#ro answers#ransom drysdale x reader#ransom drydale x you#the root of all ransom#ransom drysdale fanfiction#ransom drysdale imagine#ransom drysdale x you#ransom drysdale fluff#ransom drysdale fic#hugh ransom drysdale
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𝚂𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚊 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚘 + 𝙰𝚌𝚎 × 𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
sum. Forcing your boyfriend to adopt a new fuzzy friend into the household, maybe you've spent too much time with the fuzzy. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tw. Fluff. Jealousy. Law's and Ace's a bit longer cause, favoritism. ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n. New writing style! We could never go wrong with loving fuzzy and cute animals!! Dont transfer or translate in any platforms,this is my only account, will not be cross posted anywhere! masterlist♡
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷𝙻𝚊𝚠
After joining the Heart Pirates and dating their captain, your number one entertainment is to soend time with Bepo and Law. While Bepo does feel embarrassed for your acts to him, you absolutely felt like he's a huge cuddly bear more than a scary one.
He even complained to Law himself that he should get you your very own fuzzy friend since you've bothered Bepo so much he couldn't face you anymore without getting embarrassed! Law, the asshole he is, refused to get you one.
You very much enjoyed the idea and pestered Law into getting you one yourself and have some dignity for Bepo, then, he finally agreed. You both visited a pet shop, and just with it's entrance you couldn't leave anymore. Inside were full of cute animals waiting to be adopted, you just wanted to take them all.
"(Name)-Ya, what about this guy?" He pointed and peeked into the small cage, and there, was a white fluffy kitty who has just woken up from its slumber. Yes, perfect! It looked so cute and cuddly! You already fell inlove with it just by looking! "Awh, look at how much she resembles Bepo!"
You both took her back, and upon your arrival you set her free in her new home, the sub.
For the past few weeks, your attention had been glued to your new friend, not wanting anything on your path. It was so bad you had more pictures of her than you and Law combined! And the way you trip because you watch her instead of where you were going.
Law on the other hand, was definitely not feeling it, he felt like the white furball just replaced him with everything! You shared a bed with her, she gets your attention, she gets to be with you all day! If he were honest, he would blurt out how jealous he was for the furball.
In which, you suspected him for. "Law, are you really okay? You've been quiet and only staring since you sat down."
"I told you I am okay, don't worry." He finally let out a sigh after realizing you weren't with the kitten anymore, that was until he heard meow, and behind you was the kitten. You picked her up and setted her into your lap, receiving a piercing glance from Law.
"Are you okay? You're doing the stare aga— ohhhh..." You had finally realized that he was jealous, not by anyone, but the kitty that you've been giving attention to.
"What?" "Don't tell me you're jealous of our little furball!" You laugh at him. "What?! W-why the hell would you think that?"
"Law, it's quite obvious...come here, lay with us." You invited him with open arms and he jumped right into you.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷𝙻𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢
Ever since Chopper had joined the Straw Hats, you couldn't take your hands off his cheeks and head, continuesly patting and hugging him from his cuteness. Even your boyfriend, Luffy had agreed!
Chopper was definitely nice to have around, when you're stressed? You pat him. When you need to let it out? Hug him. He's just so cute and fuzzy! The way you'd kill people when you hear them talk bad about Chopper, because you refuse to let people think that he was a monster.
Eventually Luffy thought that you and Chopper became best friends of how you two always chatter about everything, at first he taught it's what makes the crew more unique.
But eventually, after a month, he noticed how you'd been glued with the reindeer all the time. He taught it was normal since you two were best friends but, this time you might have crossed the line.
"(Name)!! I'm hungry, can you cook meat?" He asked you with the usual big smile on his face. "Oh no Luffy, could you ask Sanji? I'm hanging out with Chopper today.." Bad Idea, you never refused to cook him meat even if you were busy. He knew you enough to just refuse to cook meat for him. The way he frowned as you waved him and went into the dock with Chopper.
Later that night, when everyone was asleep, you felt someone tugging your clothes. "Pst, (Name)." It was Luffy.
"Eh? Luffy? Why are you awake at a time like this.." you groggily whispered. "Just come here" You spproach his area and he pulled you with him.
"Finally some peace between us" He gave you a big grin and placed his hand on your back. "It's been a while you know— you've always been with Chopper."
"Luffy, wh— are you jealous of Chopper?" You came with a conclusion that maybe, just maybe he got jealous of your constant hanging out eith Chopper.
"Hmm...is that how you name it, (Name)? If so then yes!" You plopped your hands on his chest and gave him a giggle. "You could've said so earlier, i would've spent more time with you, Lu"
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷𝙺𝚒𝚍𝚍
It was 100% your idea, you had convinced Eustass to bring company of an animal into the Victoria Punk. Not only because you had no one to talk to other than Killer or Kidd himself, but simply because it was boring out in the ship.
Lucky for you, Kidd agreed to get you one of your choice, in exchange of...things. So you decided to get a Cat of your choice, simply after declaring it's recruitment into the Kidd Pirates. You gave every ounce of your attention to it, even if it means opening the door of the bathroom when you take a shower just incase the furball could come inside and pet itself across your legs.
Well that only happened twice, what DID happen was Eustass peeking at you while taking a shower, which happened about 90% of the time. You didn't mind though.
Back to our fur friend, it bothered the cleaners of the ship on how they'd find furry hair on every furniture they clean. Kidd even complained that your shared bed was full of cat fur and that it was sticking onto his skin! But you couldn't careless.
Everytime you had a chance to sit, the cat eould latch itself into your lap, preventing you from standing up and doing business. Because standing would mean disrespectful!
Now we have an angry Eustass, whenever he wants you to be around him your excuse would always be 'But theyre on my lap' and 'im playing with them give me a while' He was getting fed up with both you and the cat itself.
So you're at the comfort place in the ship, with Kidd having a staring contest with the animal on your lap, whilst you read a book a chill. Then suddenly he spoke up, "Okay that's enough." He stood up, took the cat and placed it outside the room.
"Why'd you do that for?!"
"Oh please, you have all your attention on that animal since it stepped foot into the ship, give it a break." He scoffed.
"Or you're just jealous because i give it more attention than you?" Oh, NOW you're dead. "JEALOUS?? Why would i be jealous over a stupid furry?!" He was. He was 100% jealous.
"Okay first of all, it's not a stupid furry! And second of all, you seem pretty defensive, if you're jealous just say it."
"WHAT?! No im n—"
"—Which, you definitely are, come here you big baby. I'll give you the attention you deserve." You cutted him off, now you're gonna be in big trouble.
"And i expect the attention to be filled, get on the bed fucker." It would definitely be a longggg night.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷𝙰𝚌𝚎
He IS the one who suggested to get a furry friend. He'd definitely be the type to adopt a puppy, and then proceed to name it one of the most basic names ever. You could see the disappointment in Marco's face when he found out he named the precious puppy 'Oreo' because it's fur was Black AND White.
He had gotten you the precious puppy as a gift for your birthday as he found out you're into having pets, and your reason? They were CUTE as hell. He had gotten you a puppy who's fur is at the brownish side.
"Hmm, what should we name him?!" "OH! OH! I know! Brownie!"..."Are you being serious, Ace?" You looked at him, praying that the name he suggested was only for sarcasm, but you were taken aback from his response. "What do you mean babe? Of course i am! It's such a perfect name for him!"
"It's... one of the most basic names I've ever heard. " You spared him a straight face, sending shivers down his spine. "Okay, okay I'll think of another name! Hm..how about Cookie?" Yeah he doesn't have naming privileges anymore.
In the end you both sticked into the name you had chosen for the puppy. Everything was going great for the first week, you buying him all the stuff he needed, the most high qualited dog food, and even his own supplies had beaten yours! With an average of spending atleast thoudands of Berries a week.
The second week hadn't been different at all, except for the fact that now that the puppy was growing, it became even more plsyful towards you. Meaning you, had soent almost all your time with it. On the other hand, your boyfriend Ace, ended up getting bitten at the hand for trying to take away it's toy that you gave.
"Babe! Do you see those eyes that's looking at me right now?! It looks like it's gonna KILL me!" Ace climbed up on a chair when he entered the house unannounced and the dog had decided to chase him for dear life.
"Come one Bae, he won't hurt you like at all! He's an angel!" You petted the dog, causing him to sit. "Yeah if it was opposite day I would've believed you! look at him, it looks like it's gonna bite my limbs of one by one!"
"Come on Ace! He won't bite you!" As soon as you reassured Ace thst nothing eould happen if he stepped down, he tried lowering his left foot down, causing the dog the fully bark at him. "SEE?!" Ace's voice was almost crying.
"Bad dog! You know he's the one who brought you to me right?! He's basically your dad! Go to your bed!" The dog whimpers then climbs it's bed.
"You know, after this i expect a full week of attention all mine! Okay?!" Ace pouts and settles himself down from the chair. You gave him a reassuring kiss, "I promise,"
©Cokou 2024, all works made by me.
#one piece#op#ace x reader#law x reader#law smut#portgas d ace#trafalgar law#ace smut#eustass kid#eustass kid smut#luffy x reader#luffy smut#one piece luffy#trafalgar law smut#one piece law#trafalgar law x reader#eustasscaptainkid#monkey d luffy#ace x y/n#cokou
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BAGGAGE | SPECIAL CHAPTER
Summary: In television dramas, the male lead's mother bribes the female lead with money to get her to leave her son. But Jeon Jungkook is different. He isn't a mother to begin with. He's just...rich.
"₩33,354,771,840.," Jungkook says, voice impassive as he stares at you. "A Lexus LC and a house near your sister's home. I'll give you everything you want if you stay with me."
Or alternatively,
Filthy-rich Jungkook doesn't know how to propose to you, so he simply bribes you.
Will you say yes?
Word Count: 3.6k
Genre & Content Warnings: established relationship, fluff, friends to lovers, kissing
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Set in Baggage universe) {{Read end notes for clarity}}
****
As Jungkook’s best friend and girlfriend, it isn’t weird that he clings to you. He’s like a cat, clipping his claws and bringing you presents—this is evident by the random (but hella expensive) gifts piling up in your room.
Jungkook loves you (it's a simple fact everyone around you knows), although there are times Jungkook isn't sure how to show his affection to you the 'normal' way.
Take, for instance, now:
"Jungkook." Your voice on the other line lacks energy, immediately causing Jungkook's stomach to drop. He has a bad feeling he won't like whatever you will say.
"I'm gonna be late tonight. You shout eat first. Don't wait for me." And Jungkook is right. His brows furrow, lips protruding into a sulky pout because he hates what you just said.
"How late." But Jungkook doesn't give up. It's your anniversary, after all. How can you act so nonchalantly as if your relationship is for naught?
Don’t you love him anymore? The thought leaves a bitter taste in Jungkook's mouth.
"Really late, Kook." You sigh, but a hint of softness can be traced to your voice. You sound sorry. Jungkook's heart clenches. "We've lots of things going on lately, especially now that my final exam is scheduled soon.”
You are a twenty-five-year-old student taking up your doctorate degree. You don’t want to give up studying as you want to be an educator in the future. It's fun—your studies. You get to research and develop strategies to gain more knowledge and inspire your future students, especially those full of dreams. Studying also lets you catch up with many students who have become your friends. You recently flew to France as an exchange student. You are so busy with school that you no longer have time for Jungkook.
Jungkook has yet to discuss this dilemma with you. He can't because he doesn't want to appear like a needy asshole, but he also can't because although you’re back in Korea, you are still jetlagged and caged to your classroom. Jungkook hasn't seen you in months, and now you’re telling him you’ll be late for your anniversary celebration.
Jungkook has had enough.
"I'll wait for you." He forces down the lump in his throat, contemplating grabbing an antacid tablet to wash the bitterness staining his lips.
"But—"
"I will wait for you." Jungkook cuts you off.
It's non-negotiable. Jungkook is not like any normal boyfriend. He'll pretend everything is okay even though it's killing him inside. He refuses to act like Jimin—this friend of his likes bossing Taehyung, his boyfriend, around. But he wouldn't act tough if Taehyung got busy with his modeling career. Jimin won't hesitate to show affection to Taehyung, acting like a clingy dog until Taehyung spends time with him.
Unfortunately, Jungkook is not a dog. He's a feisty kitten, and cats don't beg their mommy to canoodle them—they'll simply stay calm while planning how to let their owners willingly do their bidding.
*****
You swear you love your school. You really do, but on God, was it testing your patience.
"Shit." You cuss under your breath when you trip down the stairs. It's no one's fault but yours. Running while climbing the stairs isn't ideal, yet you cannot not do it.
You can't wait for the elevator; you want to reach Jungkook's home as quickly as possible. Your boyfriend's apartment is at the penthouse, so it took you a shit ton of running before you found yourself banging on Jungkook's door.
You’re tired. You’re so fucking tired you want to cry. School monopolizes your time so much that you fall asleep inside the train and miss your stop. You woke up slouching on the train seat, head hanging close to the pole as countless people bumped into you. You jolt awake with a stiff neck and judgmental stares from other people. Drool stains the side of your mouth. You can't help but bow your head and scurry from their funny eyes. Your embarrassment doesn't last long as you have more important issues to deal with.
July 21.
Today is July twenty-one, your fifth anniversary with Jungkook as lovers. You are clueless about it. You’d probably go on with your day hadn't it been for your alarm. Your phone notifies you that you have yet to log your yearly date experience with Jungkook for your anniversary. You are drowning with paperwork, and the event you’re looking forward to the most is forgotten.
You feel horrible. In the past years, you used to pester Jungkook to have a sweet bone on his body and indulge you during your anniversary. It's a special day, after all. You will never forget how you got together:
It was the year you graduated high school and started college. You chose a university near your hometown so you could still live close to home and visit your loved ones during breaks. For you, nothing much has changed. You got busier with school, but you’re still very much close with Jungkook. You hang out in each other's room, spending half the day doing whatever.
Contrary to what people think, Jungkook, although an asshole who likes teasing you, is fun to be with. He's a good listener, too, and is willing to try things as long as he doesn't have to go outside and exert too much energy. He's just a lazy bum who is highly attached to his bed.
--And apparently, attached to you too.
You noticed that your best friend acted differently a few months after starting college. Jungkook is weirdly quiet and seems to develop the habit of pursing his lips into a thin line whenever you tell him stories about the university. If asked if something was up, Jungkook would shake his head and shoo you away.
You tried to understand your enigmatic best friend for some time. You are very patient with Jungkook, acting like a mature adult who needs to look after a lost kitten and ensure the kitten gets his milk and plays with his toys.
Jungkook has lived a happy and healthy (although tiring) life, so imagine how upset you are when you find out your best friend got sick. Jungkook said he’ll help Jimin’s business and defer for one year to think about what he feels about college, but soon, he'll definitely get into a good university, too. You don’t understand why he's abandoning his health.
"I can't believe you, Jungkook." You click your tongue. You are currently inside his room. Jungkook is running a fever, curled into a ball, and shivering. He didn't even drink his medicine. "You stayed up all night playing video games with random strangers, didn't you? Will it kill you to go out of your room and eat? Just look at your face. You're so pale!"
You are trying to change your habit of screaming, but your voice raises slightly as you take in Jungkook's poor state. He looks like a stray animal seeking shelter.
Jungkook snorts and grips his blanket tightly. "Will you shut up?"
"I—what." You are at a loss. Here you are, pouring your care for Jungkook, and this is all you get?
You clench your jaw, heart going wild.
"I won't shut up, Jungkook. You're being unreasonable. Jimin had to call me because you only leave your room if he tells you I'm home. What's up with you? Didn't you already beat the big boss in the game? You reached the final level, Jungkook—"
"Ugh." Jungkook kicks the blanket around his body as he sits on the bed. You are beside him, startled by his sudden movement.
"Jungkook—"
"So noisy." Jungkook glares at you. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?"
"But you're ruining yourself for a game—"
"Who said I was playing games!?" The last time Jungkook was this angry was when he fought those who bullied you during elementary. Jungkook never liked confronting people, as it takes too much energy. He's too lazy for it, but now he can't help but scream in your face. His pale face turns a bright shade of red because of mixed emotions:
"I wasn't playing games. I am up all night studying." Shame. Frustration. "Can't you understand? I need to study harder to get into the same university as you. I want to be with you." Longing.
You are startled, your lips parting wide as this is the first time you see how honest and vulnerable Jungkook is.
"Jungkook."
"I know, okay?" Jungkook wipes at his cheeks aggressively. Your eyes dilate. Fuck. Jungkook is crying. "You're a college student now. You're busy. You have other friends—friends who don't make things hard for you. Friends who don't make you cook crab spring rolls, but I can't." His voice breaks, choking back a sob. "I miss you every day. I miss you at school. I miss you nudging me to eat breakfast. I miss you encouraging me to run another lap. I miss you hiding me behind your back when things get overwhelming. It's just that..."
Love. Hurt. Comfort.
"I miss you."
It can't be said that this is all too sudden. Jungkook has been feeling like shit for months. He hasn't been himself ever since you started college. You painted his life since he was young. How is Jungkook supposed to function when he is a canvas and you hold the brush?
You might be the brush, but your feelings for Jungkook are the paint colors. Jungkook bottled up his emotions for a long time, and so did you.
No one's to be blamed now that the colors spluttered like torrential rain.
You can't help it. You grab Jungkook's cheeks with both hands and kiss him hard. But your heart is in your throat, and your eyes are tightly clamped shut as you’re afraid Jungkook would find the kiss appalling.
Jungkook doesn't. He melts against your lips. It takes him a few seconds before purring and kissing you back.
Your lips are soft. Jungkook is a breathy kisser, as if he wants to suck the air out of your mouth, making it seem like you are his oxygen. In truth, you really are.
"I miss you too." You stop kissing Jungkook to whisper this, but he chases after your lips, so fussy that you dare to stop.
You laugh and press your lips against Jungkook's. But you stop again. You are not done with your speech yet.
"And I love you, Jungkook. You've no idea how much crazy I am for you." You nearly lose your mind when attending university and can't see him. You hate seeing unfamiliar people despite your friendly and airy nature.
You miss doing your homework with him. You miss packing extra lunch to ensure Jungkook is eating well. You miss him. You miss Jungkook so badly that you run toward Jungkook's house every Friday right after your last class.
You miss Jungkook, so you can't help but kiss him more. You lick his tears away, too. Jungkook is hot—he's so, so hot.
Literally.
"Tsk." There's a warning tinging Jungkook's tone when he calls your name as you stop kissing him. Jungkook thinks you are toying with him, but you will never do that.
"I know. I'm sorry." You settle a kiss on Jungkook's forehead before brushing his hair with your fingers. "But you're still sick. You need to eat and rest."
Jungkook whines, his hands clenching into fists. He wants to kiss you more.
"But it's Sunday." That is all Jungkook can say. His words imply: If I sleep now, you'll leave, and I won't see you until Friday. I wanna spend more time with you.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Don't worry. You need to ask me out properly tomorrow."
"Huh?" Jungkook blinks innocently at you. He doesn't know how you end up straddling his lap.
"Don't huh me." You click your tongue. "I've already told you I love you. Don't forget you kissed me back. You like me too, right?"
Heat flares up Jungkook's cheek. He nods slowly before looking at your eyes.
You chuckle. "Then it's settled. We're together now, but you will ask me properly tomorrow."
"We're together?" Jungkook asks dumbly—as if he didn't hear the same thing from you.
You are tempted to flick his forehead. But you simply look at your smartwatch and laugh.
"July twenty-one. Yes, Jungkook. We're dating already. Is that okay with you?"
Of course, it is. Jungkook has been in love with you since he was young. He only raises his eyebrows for acceptance, though.
You smile. "Good. That's good. You're officially my headache.”
For years, things have stayed the same. You indulge Jungkook in whatever way possible, but it gets progressively hectic this year, and you can't even see your boyfriend.
And now, you’re a minute away from missing your fifth anniversary.
"Jungkook. Answer the door." You are out of your mind, forgetting that you know your boyfriend's door password. It takes you a couple of knocks before realizing that, but when you do, Jungkook is already opening the door.
"Jungkook!" Your eyes are blown wide. You hurriedly look at your smartwatch, your heart dropping when you see the time.
12 am.
It's July 22 now. You miss your anniversary.
"Fuck." Your shoulders sag. You gather your boyfriend into your arms. "Fuck, Jungkook. I'm so sorry."
You are not a crybaby. You didn’t cry after what the people in the club did to you. But this is different. This isn't the club. This is Jungkook.
Tears well up in your eyes. Your distress is apparent. Jungkook has never seen you like this. It makes his heart ache.
"Hey," Jungkook calls softly. He wraps his arms around your waist. Jungkook's lips are dry. "Let's get you inside first."
You don’t fight him. You enter Jungkook's home, and you settle on the couch. It's late, but Jungkook is still wearing a suit. He hates suits as he prefers hiding his figure over an oversized hoodie while his shoulder-length hair is tied into a messy bun.
The Jungkook you’re facing now has cleaned up so nicely. And oh God...
"Your hair." You stutter a breath. Jungkook ties his hair into a bun, which isn't messy like how he usually styles it. "I heard you need to look presentable when planning a proposal," Jungkook explains why he changed his hairstyle.
Your brows knit. Your mind can't still catch up to the present moment. You are stuck looking at Jungkook. Your boyfriend is so, so handsome. And goddamnit, his lips look soft—as if begging to be sucked.
You forced yourself to look away and pay attention to your boyfriend's words. "Proposal." You say as you lick your lower lip, still high from looking at Jungkook, climbing many stairs, and missing your anniversary. "What happened? Are you planning to woo some new investors?”
You gulp.
"Please tell me it's not Professor Verlaine." Verlaine is among the smartest businessmen out there, but you can't forget how you ran after him yesterday at 4am to get his insights about your paper.
Verlaine follows a strict routine, especially now the semester is about to end. He doesn't have time for you, so you sneak up to him for a few words. The only reason he doesn't call security on you is because he respects your diligence.
You shake your head at the memory. You swear you don’t want to take the spotlight from Jungkook, but you are exhausted and can't help but groan.
"I hate the education system so much, Jungkook. The bastard made me run three kilometers with little to no breaks." You rest your head on your boyfriend's heaving chest. You want to apologize properly to Jungkook and listen to his milestones, but you want to yap more than ever and fall asleep. You’ve been studying for more than twenty-four hours straight.
Jungkook's stomach knots with worry ang guilt; he beats himself up for thinking you don't love him. You clearly do. But life is getting in the way of your relationship. This isn't ideal at all.
Jungkook is a good boyfriend. He rubs the back of your head, encouraging you to voice out your grievances. You smell of commute and smoke. You probably dealt with your chain-smoker professors earlier. Jungkook doesn't mind, though. If anything, it makes him realize how much he loves you. He can kiss you all day, even in this state.
"This used to excite me, you know? But I'm tired of unrealistic expectations in school. How can I write a whole dissertation in a few weeks? I’ve had oral examinations and business projects, too.”
Sometimes, you are not free to learn as you are bound to follow what is written in the book and set by the education sector.
You long to express your idea and not be barred by endless examinations to test your intelligence. You want to explore learning habits and see how students can express their knowledge, not just through exams. But more than ever, you want a slow morning without skipping breakfast to run to the train station to get to your 7 am class. You want to laze around your home, water your dying plants, prepare meals for you and Jungkook, and host barbeque parties with your other friends.
Your school hinders you from doing what you want. But you can't quit if you want to achieve your dream.
"My love," Jungkook calls when he thinks you have fallen asleep while ranting. You are very much awake, though. You’re busy daydreaming about a life you don’t have.
"Sorry." You feel defeated. "I rambled, didn't I?" You kiss Jungkook's cheeks. "And I took the spotlight away from you. Can you tell me about your proposal later? I just need to get some shut-eye." You need to go to school in a few hours. Jungkook doesn't mind that you are sleeping around him.
But not this time.
"No." He holds your face. "I have to tell you about the proposal now."
"Huh? Ah." You force yourself to stay awake. You really don’t want to upset Jungkook. Besides...your boyfriend sounds serious. "I guess I can spare some time."
You have gotten nervous about Jungkook's tone. You can even go as far as to say that your drowsiness fades a little.
Thankfully, Jungkook goes straight to the point.
"I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore."
"Huh?" Now, you are wide awake. Your heart trembles violently against your chest.
"Jungkook." You call, voice strained. "Are you serious? You don't want to be my boyfriend anymore?"
Please say no. Please.
"Yes."
Fuck.
You feel your heart drop. Heat crawls to your face as your lips part. No words come out, though. You don’t know what to do or say.
Jungkook is breaking up with you. Jungkook doesn't want you anymore.
"I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore because I have a new proposal about our relationship."
What do you mean? You want to ask, but you’re still too stunned to speak. Luckily, Jungkook explains.
Jungkook takes your stone-cold hands. You don’t feel anything. You don't realize that Jungkook's hands are shaking. More importantly, you don't feel it when Jungkook hovers a ring on your finger.
You only realize what's happening when Jungkook forces a nervous smile; his tone is delicately soft when he asks, "Will you do the honor of marrying me?"
You let out a strangled gasp.
"Jungkook." You call.
Jungkook panics. He swears he can already feel the rejection in your mouth. He can't.
"Hear me out first." Jungkook schools his expression to be neutral. It's okay. He tells himself. He has prepared for this moment.
"You have no reason to say no." He doesn't mean to be aggressive, but he sounds like one. Jungkook can't take back what he started.
He pushes through.
"₩33,354,771,840." Jungkook tightens his hold on the ring and your hand. "I computed your average yearly salary as a future professor until retirement."
Silence permeates the room. You are just staring at Jungkook.
Jungkook clears his throat, “And then I multiplied it by ten—that’s how I came up with the amount.”
You have no idea what Jungkook is saying.
“You said you wanted a Lexus LC, so I brought you one. I bought a bare house near your Jisoo-unnie’s home because you said you want to live closer to her. It’s up to you how you want to design it.”
Jungkook is proud when he adds, “Everything will be yours if you agree to marry me. You can quit now if you’re not happy with school. You can work as my full-time wife or build your own school. I can help you with the capital. I will be your number one investor.”
“Are you bribing me, Kookie?” You ask when you recover from the initial shock. You can’t help the playful smirk creeping up your face.
Jungkook snorts. “No. They’re merely your perks. You will marry me because you love me.” Confidence is not something Jungkook focuses on. He only says things he has analyzed—just like his tactics in business. Based on his calculations, you will say yes after hearing his proposal. Jungkook got nervous and afraid earlier because he had yet to say his piece. But now that he did…
“My assets are hundreds of times higher compared to what you’ll make in the future. I want you happy, my love. I can give you what you want.”
It pains Jungkook to see you looking tired with bloodshot eyes. He wants you to freely experience what it’s like to be happy—this is mainly why Jungkook works hard to earn money. He longs for you to have a comfortable lifestyle.
“Jungkook.”
Jungkook ignores your defeated look. “So, what do you say, will you marry me?”
Silence engulfs you. Jungkook mentally recomputes his chance as his heart beats erratically. He says his chance is 98/100.
Perhaps he needs to convince you more—
Jungkook’s train of thought halts when you lead his hands into inserting the ring into your finger.
“It’s a yes, then,” you say after the ring slides to your finger. You smirk at Jungkook. “I’ll let you marry me so I can officially be your wife. What do you say, Kookie?”
Jungkook nods. He grabs your face and kisses you hard. “Mn.” He hums as he licks the seams of your lips. “Let’s get you a collar for here too.” Jungkook’s lips paint bruises on your neck. “That way, you’ll be mine in all aspects.”
You laugh.
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s send out our wedding invitation soon, too.”
Jungkook nods. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Kookie.”
- End -
*****
A/N: I originally posted this as a Haikyu!! fic, but I figure, why not share it as a JJK fic to people here on Tumblr and give you guys a break from the original baggage plot? I wrote this all day, heavily inspired by what I want to happen in my life. Seriously, I need my Jungkook too. My corporate job has been stressing me lately, so my brain daydreams of things I know will not happen to me in real life.
Sighs. I want to eat and just write fics all day.
Note: THIS IS IN NO WAY RELATED/ CONNECTED WITH THE ORIGINAL PLOT OF BAGGAGE. (This doesn't contain spoilers on what's gonna happen in chapter 12 onwards. This is merely an alternate universe where Jungkook didn't fuck up and isn't a coward about expressing his emotions to OC. There's no Soobin here, though.)
See you soon!! What do you guys think about this?
#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#ficswithluv#jungkook x you#fic: baggage#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#kissing
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The Plan
"Okay so what are we gonna do about Y/N and Vernon?"
The group of 12 decided they have had enough of the weird tension between their two friends. They all gathered at Mingyu's apartment to come up with a plan that could get the two to reconcile.
Of course they also made this meetup an excuse to get Mingyu to cook them a meal and for Seungcheol to buy them some drinks.
In fact the meetup was starting to look like one of their bbq nights.
Chan, who was currently making himself a wrap, spoke up, "Yeah we gotta figure out how to get the two to make up. I can't work under these conditions anymore!"
Jeonghan nodded his head. "Yeah and I don't think I can play another round of Dress to Impress with Y/N. One can only troll so much on Roblox."
"No yeah we definitely need to get them to reconcile."
"I've had enough of seeing Vernon eat Toast every lunch"
"Yeah I don't know if I can do another Taco Bell run with Y/N. Everything tastes the same to me know"
"And if I have to listen to Vernon explaining which Shrek movie is the best out of the whole franchise again I'm gonna crash out for real"
With a mouth full of rice, Soonyoung made a sound of agreement. "Whaf ebenf haftend-" he let out muffled.
"I don't know but I'm guessing it happened after work on Tuesday. They were fine with each other during their closing shifts that day, but when they came in the next morning they were acting so cold to each other." Dokyeom said while continuing to flip the meat on the grill.
From across the table Junhui was eyeing the biggest piece pork belly on the grill.
Joshua made a displeased face. "Maybe they were just mad they had to open after closing"
"Nah" Seungkwan started, "They were both being normal to everyone else. Plus the two of them play games til like 2 AM everyday so it doesn't make a difference if they closed the night before.
The piece of pork was one flip away from being grilled to perfection.
"WAIT THATS IT!" Wonwoo exclaimed.
"Huh"
Seokmin flipped the piece of pork.
Wonwoo stood up to explain, "Tuesday nights are when we work on our Minecraft neighborhood."
"Nerds" Seungcheol interrupted.
Wonwoo rolled his eyes. "Anyway. They were fine before I left the discord call and the Minecraft server and that was a little after midnight. So something most likely happened after that."
He then looked over to Soonyoung and Seokmin. "You guys were still in the server with them after I left right? Did anything happen?"
Soonyoung shrugged. "We weren't there for long after you left.."
"Yeah we got kicked out of the call and the server since we kept arguing because Soonyoung killed my horse!" Seokmin glared at the so called horse killer.
"THAT WASNT MY FAULT AND YOU KNOW IT"
"THE SCREEN LITERALLY SAID 'KING KONG WAS SLAIN BY HORANGHAE96' OF COURSE IT WAS YOUR FAULT"
Junhui finally picked up the precious piece of pork and put it on his plate.
"I was just trying to ride your horse." Soonyoung pouted. "I didn't know I was hitting him with my sword"
"There's literally a button to get on the horse" Jihoon interjected.
"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW!"
Right as Soonyoung yelled out his defense, he stood up with his arms out, bumping into Junhui's shoulder in the process making Jun drop the piece of pork belly he had almost brought to his mouth.
"Wait you named your horse King Kong?" Joshua quesy Seokmin.
Junhui now stares at his piece of pork that is now on the floor.
"Whatever. It doesn't matter" Mingyu said as he brought in some more bowls of rice. "Let's just figure out what happened and how to fix it."
Seungkwan agreed. "Yeah! We're losing the plot!"
"Why don't yall go back on the server and see if anything happened." Minghao suggested.
Jun settles for the next best piece of pork.
"Oh what the fuck"
"It says Vernon made the world private"
"What does that mean?"
"It means only he can he join the server."
"Tell Vernon to come over right now. We need answers!"
15 minutes later
"So yeah. Basically I accidentally led a creeper into the underground tunnels we have connecting our houses together and Y/N got too close to it and it ended up blowing up part of her house. Specifically Dumbledore's room." Vernon explained.
"Dumbledore? Like the wizard? I thought you guys were playing Minecraft?"
Wonwoo sighed. "Y/N named her cat in Minecraft Dumbledore"
"Ohhh"
"So that explains why she's mad at you" Minghao concludes. "Now why are you mad at her?"
Vernon runs his hands up and down his face.
"So after the creeper exploded Y/N got mad at me because when she went to go look at the damage she noticed that Dumbledore was gone. And because she got mad at me she went to my house and destroyed my bed and then she started chasing me around with her netherite sword. Before I knew it she killed my character and I had to respond at the default spawn point because she destroyed my bed. At least I had the coordinates but Y/N turned them off so I couldn't go back to the neighborhood. So then I got mad and we started arguing and then it ended with me kicking her out of the server." Vernon ended with a frown on his face.
"I'm not even mad at Y/N, it was just in the moment. Now I feel so bad because her house is destroyed and Dumbledore is gone"
"Yall are really fighting over some stup-" Jihoon starts.
"What Jihoon means to say is that we can fix this." Seungkwan says as he covers Jihoon's mouth before he could finish his sentence that could have potentially made Vernon even sadder.
"Yeah just spawn a cat that looks like Dumbledore and say that he was outside and not in his room." Joshua says.
Seems reasonable.
Vernon looks at the group with an unconvinced face. "I don't know guys. That just feels wrong."
Jeonghan pats the younger boy's back. "If it makes you feel any better, that's probably the 9th Dumbledore we'll replace"
Vernon looks up at him.
"WHAT"
Jeonghan nods. "Yeah the original Dumbledore was gone a long time ago. It got in the way when I was trying to shoot arrows at a skeleton and I ended up hitting him instead."
Vernon's jaw dropped.
"I accidentally left his door open once and a zombie got to him." Soonyoung admitted.
"Pretty sure Mingyu killed him once too because he thought it was a mob"
Vernon looked to the group with his eyes wide. "So you guys have been replacing Dumbledore with a clone every time you get him killed?"
"Yeah pretty much"
"Do you think Y/N will believe us?"
"How do you even have the cat spawn egg? We turned off the option to switch to creative mode."
"I have my ways"
"OH MY GOD! Dumbledore was outside in the garden Vern! He's perfectly fine!" Y/N cheered over the discord call.
"Thank goodness he's safe." Vernon says slowly.
"Aw I'm sorry I made you go back to the OV spawn point." Y/N says apologetically. "Here let me turn on cords so you can get back and we can keep expanding the tunnels!"
"Down! We should rebuild Dumbledore's room first!"
"Right!" Y/N laughed. "Let's go!"
As the two were playing and chatting over discord, the rest of the 12 boys looked over at Vernon smiling at the computer screen with a fond smiles on their faces.
Balance was restored.
prev <- masterlist -> next
A/N: Yeah some of this doesn't follow Minecraft laws but whatever.
#seventeen#svt#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#junhui#soonyoung#wonwoo#jihoon#seokmin#mingyu#minghao#seungkwan#vernon#chan#seventeen smau#svt smau
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