#I'm FINE I am just simply Can't Right Now!!!
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I lwish there was a socially acceptable way to signal to others 'it's nothing personal but I just can't right now'
#'just say that' lol. lmao#I mean even if that goes over smoothly (and there is! very much no guarantee that it will!)#the best case scenario is still 'oh no are you okay? :( let me know if you need anything :('#I'm FINE I am just simply Can't Right Now!!!#see if I was GOING somewhere to have my Can't Right Now that'd make it very easy#'I'll be at The Cabin for a week' or whatever#I'm doing that but in my basement playing zoldo lmao#... anyway none of the complaints about how this would fail to go over apply to anyone on tumblr cause I'm too anxious to vagueblog lol#but 'I just can't right now' IS true so if I'm bad about answering messages or w/e for a few days it's cause my 'be human' tank is empty#about me
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あ
#Robin processes emotions on main#already I am struggling with studying Japanese#not with the language itself so much. I'm making progress on that#but with this horrible kind of anxiety#I writhe not being the best at things that I'm trying to do. I writhe wondering if I should just give up.#this is why I had a horrible time studying Greek in high school as well: can't know it well enough fast enough#it's like I'm dying a little every day convincing myself no it's FINE not to know everything right away. it's OKAY.#it's okay if you stop learning Japanese in the future and it's okay if you keep learning Japanese. it's okay it's okay it's—#hhhhhhhhhhhh#it's such a complicated language it's making my stomach hurt right now thinking about how I want to learn kanji but it's So Much#and I don't know HOW to learn it#I've never really learned a language before (Greek does NOT count) and I'm learning all the complexities of the Japanese language and going#going oh....... this is........ actually extremely much...... and I'm never going to be a native speaker.......#I'm trying So Hard to embrace dying a little to my perfectionism every day but it's HARD. WAILS#No one Told me learning a language would make me want to cry because it's simply impossible to master!!!!#WAH!!!!#I'm trying to keep sight of the fact that it's not about my pride it's about having fun and embracing Small challenge and Small rewards#I really do feel so happy every time I recognize a word or understand the grammar when watching anime#it's just thinking about the Entire language that's psyching me out#Robin learns Japanese
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alright, perhaps it is time to start colourmaxxing
#just me hi#okay so i got an mp3 player for m birthday (yippee !! woohoo :D) and the earphones i got w/ them don't fit in my. ears hgkfjs#like the left one is fine but my right ear is too small for the bud.. and it's not one of those ones with the rubber thing so i can't fix#the sizing lol </3#anyway so i'm looking for earbuds that won't explode if an ant touches them lol ; i found some that come in blueeee#my player is red.. i Could just get black.. but clownmode starts Now lmfvhsh#/yea so the player situation;#it has radio (YAYYY 💫💥💫💥💫) but it can't hop on any wifi so i have to download onto my computer and then onto the thang#which is okay. or WOULD be [dun dun] if i didn't put every song i liked ever into one playlist Lmaofjvshj#400+ songs in one playlist Is difficult.. and i still have some character playlists i wanna add lollllll#so doing that rn.. oohoo...#i've managed to get it down to like 294 which is cool but i am hanging on to groups of songs i do not care about for some reason kfhsvbh#cuz i add music in clumps so everything is in 'groups' that only i can see lol :)#i don't wanna spend a bajillion years downloading this stuff thoughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh houuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#ofc there are groups that simply cannot go. like the whiteboard sections and that entire coin album Lmaoo#but also man i don't think i'm in the brain space for this rn pfshv#i am hearing sounds and i do not care. but also i think i do so i just leave them there for future me to check later kfsh#anywho i'm gonna try to get it down to around the 100s#that Does mean i have to removed 94 songs rn tho... difficult decisions really bfsh#//aaaaanywho i'll prolly just save the rest of this for later#i've got other things i should be doing and things i wanna be doing and things i need to do or i'm going to turn into sludge again so hfhs#back at it like always!! i should get some water....#but YEA. toodles :3
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right at the beginning of music school is actually a fantastic time to think "really when was the last time making music or working with music made me happy?"
#don't worry about me this is just my bi-weekly crisis regarding school and my future and my entire identity haha yea i'm fine i'm cool#i'm frustrated bc i haven't actually made progress with music in so long and i haven't made anything i'm proud of for even longer#i'm studying music technology but i don't know shit about it and really i'm not that passionate about it either#there are so many projects that i have in the works that i actually do have to finish bc they're for other people but i just#can't get myself to work on it#my entire life i've been so fucking bad with comparing myself to others#and going to music school i am now surrounded by talented people left and right and i feel so fucking inferior#and i'm one of those people who never studied in school and well that's not rly an issue bc at this school u don't study the traditional way#however what this also means about me is that nothing has ever been difficult for me before and#i simply don't know how to cope with not knowing how to do something#i mean this isn't the first time that i don't know how to do something but#this is the first time that i can't just run away from it and ignore it#and i feel like i'm never gonna be able to graduate from here#i've literally had just two days of school so far and i'm convinced i can't do it#to be fair i was already convinced i'm a failure and a fraud before i started so#also during the first introduction lecture to the school. burnout got mentioned. very. very. very many times.#i'll let you guys know when it gets to me haha#i'm feeling good i'm feeling so good i'm feeling fine [crying my eyes out]#eg posts
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Ladies and gentlemen the council has decided I'm staying alone
#just had a date with one guy and he really made it clear he wants to move forward#but I'm just.. it's just so comfortable on my own#if it weren't for the social pressure financial aspect and bouts of loneliness i really am fine by myself#the only thing i could see myself with someone is if it was an existing relationship that simply developed that way naturally#but i can't start like this out of the blue it doesn't feel right#so now i have to say no and also accept that I'm dying alone because I don't have any potential people to grow to date so ✌️#yay#erola.txt
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So this turned into a vent somehow!
#vent#.........................................................#i say characterization for one thing...#i feel like people would MASSIVELY misinterpret what i'm like purely because they don't understand what i'm like#yeah i'm fucked up and kinda evil. yeah i'd hurt someone if it meant i get something from it. like a little satisfaction#yeah i'd hurt someone if it meant something good happened in my life#but here's the thing- i don't want this to be me#i never wanted this to be me. ever. at all#i have these thoughts i have these ideas i would LOVE to act on them#but i do know there's a reason to keep myself together for as long as i can#i'm aggressive but i don't want to be. but sadly i've grown to need to be aggressive#i've grown to want control and authority because i lack it and it would do me WONDERS you can't imagine#i've grown to want to hurt because i feel like that would help me so much in getting what i want as i am tired of everything bad in my life#there's pros and cons right? ups and downs? SO WHERE'S THE FUCKING UPS. DIPSHIT.#i had these ups when i was little but then i grew up and suddenly oops! there go the ups! now everything sucks ass! lol! lmao even!#and that kinda fucked me up as you can see#and now here i am. there's people i've hurt before. bad things i've done before. little to no regret and even then all of it is deep down#i liked doing that stuff and yet deep down i hated it because i just hurt people i care about#i'm doing my fucking best in trying to keep myself together. in trying to remain alive and sane#and in turn i'm obligated to sabotage others to fulfill that goal#i don't want this to be me.#so here i am now. i know i'm not alone but i also know just fine that i'm few and far inbetween#those who remain that are host to this are probably dead. fallen from grace. or will never see the sun ever again#or suffer the same journey as me#those who remain that hold this curse just know i see you. i hear you. and i wish this shithole known as life was better too#those who simply don't understand my situation feel free to run off i'm not dealing with you lot#cherish your life instead of wasting it on someone like ME of all people#you're better than me. cherish the FUCK out of that shit#appreciate that stuff since you got it for free#wow this turned into a vent real damn quick... anyway! funny shit amirite fellas?
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No Kisses?
Pairing: Choi Seungcheol xF! Reader
A/N: Honestly, I just need Seuncheol...
Genre: Fluff
Word count: 4.3k
Synopsis: Seungcheol attempts to deny your kisses, but not for too long.
You were on your period, and feeling emotional, which led to some unnecessary bickering with Seungcheol. He didn't appreciate the attitude you were giving him, and as the days passed, you brushed the entire incident aside as if it had never occurred.
Your constant mood swings during that week pushed Seungcheol to his limit, prompting him to declare a "kissing strike." You simply assumed he was being dramatic. However, now that your period has ended, you’re looking for Seungcheol to cuddle with you.
You find him sitting on the couch in the living room. Before you can step closer, he lifts a finger, stopping you in your tracks. "Don't come here, Y/n. I told you, no kisses and cuddles for a whole week!" His tone is firm, yet there’s a hint of playful frustration lurking beneath.
You take a step closer to him, testing the waters to see if he’s genuinely serious about this rule. "Oh, come on… a week is too long!" you pout at him.
Seungcheol crosses his arms tightly over his chest and turns his head away from you, still upset. "A week is not enough for the way you acted last week."
Realizing that he is indeed serious, you plop down next to him on the couch. He scoots away from you just a bit, arms still crossed. "Stop sitting next to me; I'm still upset."
"My baby, Cheollie, I'm sorry, okay?" you say, softening your tone and patiently waiting for a reaction. He tries to hide his smile after hearing his nickname.
"I get that you're sorry," he replies, still trying to maintain his serious demeanor, "but I still have to teach you a lesson."
Feeling bold, you respond, "You can’t stay mad at me for too long… you love me too much for that." You give him a playful, teasing smile, knowing deep down that he can’t resist for long.
He rolls his eyes dramatically but finally turns to look at you. "That's not the point. I'm still going to be mad at you for a week," he insists, though you can see the corners of his mouth twitching up.
You gently cup his cheeks in your hands, maintaining eye contact as you say, "I am sorry, you know." Your sincerity hangs in the air between you.
He lets out a heavy sigh, still avoiding your gaze. "I know, but I still need some time to forgive you," he admits, his tone softening just a fraction.
With a playful grin, you propose, "Fine, how about we make it a day? Not a whole week, hmm?" You keep your hands on his face. He pretends to think for a moment before sighing in defeat once more.
"A day… but only because you look so cute right now," he concedes, fighting to keep the smile off his face.
Seizing the moment, you lean in and peck his lips, completely forgetting the "rules" he just laid out. "A day it is!" you declare triumphantly.
But as soon as you back away, he sulks cutely, shaking his head. "I said no kisses for a day…"
You pause, realization dawning on you. "Oh right, oops," you reply, grinning widely.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Seungcheol says, arching an eyebrow at you, a teasing glint in his eyes.
"Doing what?" You grin, pretending to be oblivious to your actions.
He scoffs, "Acting all cute so I won't stay mad at you…"
Your eyes widen in mock shock. "Me, acting cute?" The corners of your lips twitch as you bite back a smile. He rolls his eyes dramatically before reaching for your waist and effortlessly pulling you onto his lap. "Yes, you; and you know it," he replies.
You tease him, "I thought you said no cuddles?"
In response, Seungcheol wraps his strong arms around you, pulling you tightly against his chest. He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. "I changed my mind."
"That fast?" You giggle, earning a nod against your neck. His grip on you tightens. "I can't resist you when you're being cute like this," he murmurs.
You wrap your arms around his neck. "I knew you couldn't," you reply, teasing evident in your voice.
He pouts, pulling away slightly to face you. "Yeah, yeah. But next time you’re on your…" He trails off. "You know, can you try your absolute best not to start arguments with me?"
You smile at his cuteness. "Yes, of course. I’ll try my absolute best!" You echo his words with a small laugh.
"Good…" he says, and with that, he kisses your lips before leaning back in, nuzzling his face into your neck once more, enveloping you in warmth and comfort as he holds you close.
Taglist!!
@jjunie-0 @minminghao @black-swan-blog27 @cherrylvrr @honglynights @allieyaaa @bath1lda @hanniehae-yoon
#svt x reader#kpop#svt fluff#kpopidol#fanfic#cottagecore#svtcreations#kpop fanfic#seventeen#kpop bg#seungcheol#choi seungcheol#seungcheol x reader#seventeen seungcheol#seungcheol fluff#scoups#svt#svt scoups#I need seungcheol
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I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to ✨see a therapist✨ to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!
My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,
The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.
Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.
Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.
One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.
If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.
It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.
Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone
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"We were just getting to the good part.." // rafayel x f!reader
cw // smut, phone seggs, use of endearment 'baby'
a/n: Inspired by that one call with him and told us to make some noise😩
part two
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
You were just scrolling and watching videos on your phone while laying on your bed when Rafayel's caller id appeared. You sat yourself up and rest your back on the headboard. Tapping the accept button, you were greeted by his bored voice.
"Hey, what are you doing right now?"
"About to go to sleep. Why?" You ask while looking out on the window
"Don't sleep yet. Why don't you accompany me, hm? I'm finishing this painting and the silence is killing me..."
"But I gotta wake up early tomorrow for work..."
You heard him groan and you can already imagine him rolling his eyes
"Hmp! You barely got time for me. Fine, I understand. Who am I even to you, right? It's okay. You can hang up."
You couldn't stop yourself and burst out to laughter and you heard him groan in annoyance.
"Gosh! You're unbelievable Rafayel! Fine fine, what can I do to accompany you?"
"No no it's okay. Don't push yourself. I understand that I don't matter to you anymore.."
You giggled to yourself before laying flat on your stomach
"Oh come on, you big baby. Care to tell what can I do?"
You heard him sigh but his definitely smling
"Just make some noise. Your voice is enough to keep me going and finish this painting."
He said and resume on what he was doing but a minute have passed but you haven't said a word. He thought you fell asleep and was about to call your name out when you made a noise. A noise he only knows.
You gulp before letting out a whimper and soft moan. You decided to mess with him and ended the call right away after making that noise but Rafayel called again but this time, his requesting a video call. You answered it right away and you were met with his gaze, you can tell that his sitting on his couch. You sat up again with your back leaning on the headboard of your bed.
"You really do enjoy teasing me huh..."
"Hm? What do you mean?" You played dumb but he won't let you get away on what you just did
"Oh baby, if I was there I would have you gripping on my shoulders for support."
He grin when he saw you blush and look away from the camera
"Oh uh, don't look away. Now, why don't you flip your camera and let me what you are wearing?"
"Rafayel!" You gasp
"What? You started this."
He said and his camera flip and now you're looking at the tent on his pants.
"Pfft- your expression right now is amusing."
"You! Ugh, fine."
You said and flip your camera and now his looking at your expose legs and your cleavage. You are wearing the night gown he bought you. You heard him cuss faintly and his hands began to caress his member throught the fabric of his pants.
"Fuck, place your phone on a stand and make sure it's facing you."
You did as what he told you and he did what he just said to you. Now, you can clearly see how his a blushing mess. Ears red as a tomato as he tries to drown his voice by placing his other hand over his mouth.
"What do you want me to do next, Yel?" You ask
"Mhm spread your legs.."
Your heart thump as you did and his eyes almost pop out from it's socket seeing you aren't wearing a underwear. You saw how his hand grip tight and his eyes darted from your face to your expose cunt.
"Holy... you're beautiful..."
"Hey! You're being unfair. Why don't you get rid of your pants too?"
"Woah easy, I will.."
He unbuckled his pants and immediately took it off and toss it on the side together with his underwear. Seeing his erect cock, you can't help but gulp. You felt yourself getting wet and your thighs closes trying to get a friction.
"Loving what you see huh...don't close your legs on me baby. Kee them open and start to touch yourself."
You simply nodded and began to touch yourself, a moan escape from your lips and it prompted Rafayel to began touching his self too. It began with slow strokes to his cock and your fingers slowly tracing circles on your clit.
"Can't believe I'm doing this with you... haah insert a finger.."
"Rafayel..."
You moan out his name as soon you insert a finger and he almost came by just that. He run his free hand to his hair and began to jerk off at the sight of you fucking yourself with your own finger.
"Damn it! Hng, tomorrow... come to my house.."
"O-Okay.. this feel so good..."
Your free hand starts to grope your breast and your hips began to grind on your finger as your moan got more louder and louder
"That's it baby. Fuck yourself... hm you look so sexy..."
"Oh Yel! I want your cock in me so bad..."
"You will... hnng! Insert another finger baby.."
You take your one finger out and brought it close to your lips, sucking on two fingers you could taste yourself. Then, you slowly insert two fingers inside you making you arch your back, your legs trembling
"Shit! Shit! Thrust it faster baby, come on."
"Rafayel! Rafayel!"
"Shh I'm here.."
A sob escape your lips as you felt overstimulated already, your fingers is now easily slipping in and out of you while your other hand is groping and pinching your nipples.
"Look at me baby.. look at me..."
Your gaze drop on your phone and you can see how hard his jerking off his cock. His hips bucking, thrusting into the air.
"I wanna kiss you so bad Rafayel..."
"Me too baby, me too. Hmm I'm cumming.."
"Let's cum together.."
He nodded and you throw your head back as you thrust your fingers more faster and harder that you can hear squelching noise it's making due to it being so wet. You heard him moan your name too and you also heard something crash down but you're too high to care right now.
"Rafayel!"
"Fuck!"
You both came together and you couldn't stop yourself from drilling your fingers deep into you as you slowly thrust your fingers riding yourself down from your own high.
Rafayel curse through his mind seeing how he spilled his own cum on the floor, he let go of his cock and grab the box of tissues and clean himself up. Once he was done on cleaning himself and the floor. He wore his pants again and sat down on the couch again, he grab his phone to get it closer to his face. He saw how fuck you are that you still let out a moan when you removed your fingers out of your cunt.
"You okay baby? I'll come over right now. I'll bring your favorite foods."
You slowly sat up and grab your phone, you shut your eyes trying to sort your mind out. You lay back down on the bed and curl to your side, holding your phone with both of your hands.
"Hurry Yel', wanna kiss you s'bad.."
He chuckles before kissing the screen
"Alright, see you baby.
You could only hum as a response and you drift off to sleep and he ended the call. He grab the key to your house which you gave to him.
With a smile to his face, he can only think on how he'll have you all to himself tonight and tomorrow.
#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace fanfic#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace reader#rafayel#rafayel x reader#refayel x you#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace fic#rafeyel smut#rafayel x fem!reader#love and deepspace x fem!reader#rafayel fluff#rafayel angst#rafayel fic
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XOXO, YOU MIGHT BE MY NEXT!
PAIRING: lee anton x fem!reader
GENRE: short n' sweet moments!!!!
TROPES: friends to lovers, college au, turning 20 existential dread inspired by yours truly, flirting friendship dynamics, no drama in this one because i'm sick n tired bro
WHAT TO EXPECT:
Something about Anton had changed ever since he turned 20 and you could not put your finger on it. All you knew was he had made it his mission to fluster you and letting him catch a hint of what he was doing to you was a bad idea...
"I can't believe I'm no longer a silly little guy in his teen years," sighs Anton. Had the speaker been a remotely more predictable person than Lee Chanyoung, decidedly the king of "never let 'em know your next move," you would've at least pretended to be amused by his statement.
Instead, you echo his sigh with your own. "Come on, there's no way you're still whining about this. You used to cry about being stuck a nineteen year-old and being called a kid, and now that you're not? You're crying about it, too!"
Anton frowns at your sharp but resoundingly true words. He crosses his arms, leaning closer to you across the table, his eyes taking on a candid gravity. "I'm serious this time, Y/N, I'm spiralling. I feel like I should be doing… more?"
You blink at him. Count on Anton to have an existential crisis in the library of all places. You could've even get get vulnerable with him right now if you wanted, what with the mobs of students surrounding you, chattering away in their own circles.
You pat his arm across the table, feeling the soft fabric of his baby blue hoodie that always sat so well with his eyes. "It'll be fine, Ant, you're doing enough as it is. You're a good student and a good friend, too. That's more than a lot of people can claim."
He doesn't hide the small smile that creeps onto his face, "You really think so?" Then, he tilts his head and like a switch turning, his smile turns flirtatious. "But that's all you think of me as? A good friend?"
You stare back at Anton, at a loss for words at his sudden change in demeanour. "Well, yeah? Aren't we…?" you ask the question hoping he'd drop the act and laugh it off but his smile is only morphing further into a smirk the more flustered you get.
Feeling your ears warm, you avert your gaze, suddenly incredibly intrigued by the laptop screen of a girl working a table away from you. You think about Anton and how the two of you had always been closer to each other, compared to the rest of your friends. Maybe it was only because your schedules always matched up, allowing you to grab meals together and hole up in the library after. Maybe it was because you lost track of time when you were with him, laughing at something stupid or spouting something stupid yourself just to watch him laugh with you.
You couldn't say the possibility of being something more to him hadn't crossed your mind. Of course it had, Anton was the most charming guy you'd been around for a while and you felt comfortable with him like with nobody else. And it was that comfort that was the very reason you didn't feel the need to pursue more with him: it was enough to be his friend.
But something had changed about him ever since he turned 20 a week ago. You don't know where to pin the feeling that he'd changed but he'd become more… direct. For example, the night of his birthday, you'd decided to show up at his door to wish him in person at exactly 12 am. He'd been thrilled to see you and pulled you into a hug. A completely normal hug. Just a little too long for two people who were just friends. But you had been more than happy to feel his warmth so you didn't mention it. When you did finally pull away, Anton had chased you face, planting a kiss on your cheek out of the blue.
It had caught you off guard like nothing else. You'd stared at him, not unlike how you'd looked at him a few minutes ago, turning hotter by the second. But he'd simply grinned the purest grin ever, thanking you sincerely for wishing him.
With that and his sudden question of your relationship with him, you didn't know what to think anymore.
Anton has gone back to his work by the time you come back to your senses, as cool as ever. You can hear the hum of the music in his earbuds as he types away at his computer. You really don't know what to think, with his flirting and nonchalance after. God, you think you might drive yourself crazy.
And you desperately want to keep your sanity so later that night, on your walk back home from the library, you try to hint at it. "Hey, you know…" you start, catching his attention, "I feel like you've changed somehow… since you turned 20."
He looks amused at your admission, brows quirking up, "Really? Please, do say more."
"Well," your eyes jump from his to your shoes and then back, "Like you're acting different."
"I am?" his cheeks rise, "Is it weird?"
You note that he doesn't ask you how he's acting different, implying he probably knew what he was doing. The thought of it being on purpose only rattles you more.
"Not weird, no," you breathe, "I'm just not used to it, I guess." You hate yourself for not knowing where you were going with his. Anton might as well think you were the weird one for reading into his actions so much without having a proper reason to.
But before you can backtrack on your observation, you feel Anton's hand brush against yours. You look up at the contact and then, his fingers interlace with yours, a soft tug bringing your joined hands into his pockets.
Your heart nearly catapults itself outside of your chest at the sudden touch. All while Anton watches you but you turn coy, looking away.
"Is this okay?" his voice is low, so as to not startle you. As if you could possibly be any more startled than you already were.
You look at him once again and his eyes are sincere, as sincere as his hand is in yours, keeping you close to his side. "Yeah, it's fine," you hear yourself saying, as if you didn't belong to your own body anymore.
You walk back in silence but warmer than ever, with Anton's hand enveloping yours the whole time. You feel dizzy with the weight of his touch and with the confusion of it all.
He walks you to your room without a word and when your hands finally part, he gives you a soft smile. "Good night, Y/N." You nod, unsure if you could form any words right now. You turn to unlock your room when Anton speaks up again: "Oh, and about earlier? You might wanna get used to it."
You spin to face him but he's walking away without another look at you and you swear your knees all but give out under you with how weak you feel. Your words from earlier come rushing back and your heart races even in your own company as you enter your room. Anton might just be the death of you at this rate.
—
The next day you retain your composure for the most part, all thanks to the fact that you don't encounter Anton as often as usual because you have back-to-back meetings for club activities and a class project. But the feeling of accomplishment vanishes as soon as you spot him outside the study room where you'd met up with your project-mates. They leave, biding you goodbye and side-eyeing the boy outside, clearly waiting for someone.
"Anton?" you call out, slowly approaching him. He looks up with a beam, "Hey! You're finally done?"
"Yeah, but what are you doing here?"
"You said you'd be here for your meeting so I thought I'd come pick you up."
You faintly recall shooting him a text about not being able to meet up at your usual spot because of your group meeting but hadn't expected him to show up there.
"Oh, I guess that's nice of you," you say.
"You guess?" Anton echoes, sulking, "Come on, Y/N. I've been sad 'cause I didn't get to see you all day and that's all you have for me? We have a lot of work to do here."
You're in a daze the whole time he's speaking, watching his lips move and feeling your stable headspace slip farther away from you. "No, I mean, I'm glad to see you, too. I just didn't expect it."
"Told ya to get used to it, didn't I?" he shakes his head like it's the most obvious thing in the whole world. "Anyway, are you free for the night now?"
When you nod, he goes on. "You wanna come over and watch a movie with me? I've been wanting to watch it for a while now but I never got the chance too…" He goes on to give you a brief synposis of it and you can practically feel the excitement radiating off him.
You laugh at his genuine enthusiasm and agree without a thought, forgetting your current weakness around him.
Which is why it only dawns upon you when you step foot into his room to find it to be oddly… small. Is it the same size it had always been? Yes. Had you been alone in it with him before? Also, yes. But had it ever felt like you were going to pass out from anxiety because you were all alone with him before? No.
You plop onto his bed without a word and if Anton notices your zoned out state, he says nothing. He takes his coat off and hangs it up, tapping your shoulder. "You sure you don't want to take your jacket off? It's kinda warm in my room." You nod, having forgotten to slip your jacket off. You hand him your jacket with a soft thanks.
You hate to be the shell of a person you are right now, so you make yourself comfortable, sitting against the wall with a cushion for your back, taking your boots off. You pat your chest as Anton is busy setting his laptop up in a position for both of you to watch on his bed. When he finally takes his seat next to you, settling closer than he usually does, you tell yourself to stay calm and enjoy the rush of feeling his arm brush against yours, instead of letting it unnerve you.
It helps to let the feeling be, instead of running from it. You relax in your own skin, finding the peace to finally focus on the movie instead of the boy next to you and in your heart.
It's a sweet movie, as it turns out, even earning a few tears from you as the ending credits roll in. Anton hits pause on the movie, shifting to look at you. You half-chuckle through your tears, wiping them haphazardly with the back of your hand.
Anton catches your wrist in his, pulling it away from your face and to his lap. His thumb replaces your hand, gently wiping at your cheekbones. "I'm guessing you liked the movie then?" his voice is tender, not mocking like you might have expected. You nod, "Yes."
"I'm glad. I wasn't sure you'd be willing to spend time with me alone after… after yesterday," Anton says, his lashes hooding his eyes as he speaks, tone suddenly coy, "But I'm glad what I said didn't make you uncomfortable."
"...you were worried?" you ask, shocked at his shy revelation.
"Well, yeah, I was worried when I didn't get to see you the whole day today that maybe you were avoiding me. But that was just me overthinking things. I'm scared to fuck things up with you."
You find yourself smiling at his sincerity. "You're so cute, Anton."
The words slip out of you before you can filter them and the boy's head bobs up in shock at your compliment, and you both sit in silence, staring at each other's flustered faces.
And then you both break into laughter at yourselves. "What are we even doing?"
Anton runs a hand through his hair, "I don't know, Y/N. What do you want us to do?"
You rest your head against the wall, humming, "I want us to stay this way. To be with you."
He chuckles, "I feel like those are mutually exclusive events, no?"
"They don't have to be," you mumble, reaching for his hair, just so you can feel the soft strands tickle your skin. "I'm happy with you, Anton."
Anton's hand finds yours in his locks, bringing it to his lips as he kisses your knuckles. "I like being with you too, Y/N. But I want more. Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I want you, all of you."
His words would've sent your heart into paralysis had they been uttered a few hours ago but having been lulled into the comfort of his presence for a while now, having attuned yourself to your own feelings at last, you feel a soaring feeling, like you had finally found something you had been looking for this whole time.
Anton's pulling you closer, his hand encompassing yours as his face overwhelms your vision. "Kiss me already," you urge him and just like that, his lips find yours, with a crash that makes you giggle a little. The force of his warm lips sways you a little and Anton catches you in his arms, pulling you into him by the waist.
"Can't believe I finally did it," you hear him whisper when he pulls back, looking at you in awe. "You don't understand how long I've been wanting to kiss your damn face." You laugh into him and he hugs you tight. "God, when you showed up at my door on my 20th birthday, I swear it took me everything to not kiss you right there and then."
"If I recall correctly, you did kiss me," you remind him, "Granted, it was on the cheek. But you could've sped the process up had you just kissed me for real."
Anton glares at you, "You're saying that? Really? After you went mute because of said cheek kiss? If anything, I was being considerate. Plus, I would kill to see you go that red again."
"You jerk! So you were teasing me on purpose!"
"Well, yeah? What kind of a guy would I be if I didn't flirt with the girl I like a little just to enjoy how she reacts? It's the cutest shit ever!"
You hide your face in his sleeve, "You suck. I lost sleep over that, you know."
"Good to know that it wasn't just me, then." Anton's arms wrap around you so naturally that you can only wonder if this was really your first time being intimate with him.
When you rise from his arm, his lips capture yours again, urgently like he was running out of time. You return his fervor, just as desperate in your desire as he was. That night, you fall asleep in Anton's arm, feeling his heart beat next yours as you dream away.
–
It takes you a second to get used to the feeling of Anton being your boyfriend. Because in many ways, it's the same as always: him picking you up from class to eat lunch together and spending your time together struggling with coursework. But now there's more to it: you walk home, hand in hand, and spend your nights together.
"Hey, you wanna come over and make out after you're done with this meeting?"
You snap around to glare at Anton when he whispers the question in your ear. You hit his arm and he laughs boyishly, shrugging, "What? I'm just being real because you and I both know that's what's gonna end up happening–"
"You're outrageous, Anton," you shake your head, "We don't always–! Well, maybe most of the time, yes, but–" He cuts you off, pecking your cheek. "Yes, yes, whatever you say, babe. I'll see ya in an hour."
–
#anton x y/n#anton x you#lee chanyoung x reader#anton riize#riize fics#riize x reader#anton x reader#lee chanyoung#anton fics#lee anton x y/n#anton imagine#riize imagines#anton fluff#riize fluff#riize scenarios#kpop fic#kpop x reader#kpop imagines
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For the request, can I please have Yandere Topaz, Jade, and Ruan Mei x people pleasure reader headcanon (seperate).
𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭
Yandere! Topaz/Jade/Ruan Mei x Gn! Reader
❏ In which your selfless deeds catch someone's attention for no good reason.
cw: suggestive themes, dehumanization, isolation, brainwashing, non-consensual (french) kiss, Ruan Mei being gross.
w/c: 1,484
"Care for a drink Miss Topaz? Maybe I can help with your problems..." You offer a juice to her, and a hand. Co-worker [Name], a diligent worker in the Strategic Investment Department, seen around doing favors and extra work just for everyone... But why won't you just help her and only her instead?
"Oh, thank you! And no thank you, I can do these all by myself, how about you take care of yourself, and take a rest? You're always so helpful, [Name]." Topaz takes the juice gratefully with a smile.
"No... The same goes for you, Miss Topaz, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here having this position." You bow your head before hearing someone call you.
"[Name]! Do you have anything to do right now!? I need you assistance with this—"
"Yes! Yes! Coming right up!" You scurry to the voice, but not before giving a little wave to Topaz.
She returns the wave. Before looking back to the screen... And frowns. "It's only a matter of time." She mumbles.
Oddly enough, in the next three days after just being in the IPC, you were announced as Topaz's own personal assistant.
"This is... A bit surprising... But I look forward to being your assistant from now on, Miss Topaz." You smile, she smiles too.
"No, Jelena is fine, you're my assistant now, right? You don't need to be formal. I just have one rule... Don't assist any other workers from the IPC if it's not me, alright?" She orders.
"May I ask why...?"
"I simply don't want you to be led astray from your work, now, am I clear?"
What... a weird request, but you follow it nonetheless. For one day, that is, you only lasted one day, when that another co-worker of yours, begged for your assistance, you couldn't refuse, you weren't trained for that.
"Awh come on, [Name]! Just because you're now Topaz's assistant, doesn't mean you don't have to help your other co-workers too!" The person in front of you moaned.
"I'm sorry but, Miss Topa—Jelena advised me not to—"
"It's just very little work, it won't kill you will it? Just help me."
"...A-Alright, fine..."
...After that time, you never saw that same co-worker again the next day, from what you've seen, he was fired from his job because of workplace harassment, you don't know if it's true, you doubt that it's true... and Jelena... didn't seem happy when she confronts you about your deed.
"Didn't I personally said to you that you shouldn't assist anyone other than me?"
She sighs and shakes her head disappointedly. Your back was facing the wall as she pushes up her thigh below your crotch.
"I can't believe you would just disobey me that early, maybe I should start teaching you and training so you won't be pushed around from others like that."
Teaching you and training you like a pet, that is. A cute, little pet who won't disobey her master. That's what Topaz shamelessly labels you as.
You walked into the pawn shop nervously. You swallow, feeling like you've entered a dangerous territory.
"Welcome to Bonajade Exchange. Who are you? And what do you seek?" An unfamiliar and elegant voice rang from behind the curtain.
"I wish... To help my friends." You mumbled out loud.
"Hm? Why is that?" Though you can't see her, you can feel her smiling through her lips. "Are you sure you're here for the sake of someone else?" She muses.
"They've... Been struggling with expenses, I don't know what offer you but myself... I owe them many." You tell her with a sad tone.
"You're sacrificing yourself for the sake of your friend? That's very noble, we can arrange that. Though, since you're here at my pawnshop, I'd like to hear what you want for your own self."
"No need. I'll do what I can to help other people." You fidget, yet say with full honestly, Lady Bonajade senses that. There is not single greedy bone in your body, fellows like you were rare, it's about time she found a rare gem, just like Jelena.
"I see," She raises the curtains. "In exchange for other people's needs, why don't you work at this shop?" She offers.
You cleaned the pawnshop, bargained for Jade, advertised the shop for the people in need. You kept the store running, but you didn't show any signs of uplifting the profits into another level, you were just a side piece, keeping the shop regulating like normal, and it was insufficient for Jade.
But it's fine, Jade doesn't leave an exchange until she gets real value.
You were cut ties from your family thinking that you were just busy and working hard to provide yourself and sending a lot of resources to them, your friends were now happy and financially stable but never really checked on you whether your doing good, the people you care and know were healthy, but they don't need you. Now you find your hands weighting chains, attached to the shackle on your wrist.
If there's one thing Jade found joy in, it's reaping a pure, untaited, soul.
"Come closer here," Jade gestures you to come over, you obey, broken. You see her lips, tainted with dark red lipstick, it comes closer, not on your face.
And just as Adam bit the apple, Jade bites your neck.
"Ruan Mei, you're burnt out, please take a rest, I'll handle all of this research." You place a blanket on her shoulder.
"Would you like a cup of tea? A plate of cake? Embroider something? Please inform me, I'll... I'll handle it." You say with a smile.
Ruan Mei was tired, she had been researching Aeons for a couple of weeks, barely feeding herself. And usually, when Ruan Mei was tired, she wouldn't entrust anyone with her research... Except for you.
Ruan Mei's trusty little assistant, whom she's sure no matter what she asks you for, you would do that.
"...I want a cake." She answers, though delayed.
"Oh, alright!" You seem delighted to be doing a favor. You ran into the kitchen, preparing the food as Ruan Mei daydreams.
Why were you so insistent in helping her? Why do you do everything in your power to please her? You're strange, a strange person, Ruan Mei shouldn't care, she shouldn't care about your well being, she shouldn't care why your here to help her.
"I'm at your service, Ruan Mei."
"Do you need any help? I'll be sure to help you with what you need, Ruan Mei."
"Ruan Mei."
"Ruan Mei."
"Ruan Mei—"
"Ruan Mei, your desert is ready..." She snaps out of her daydream and glances at you, then the plate you're holding.
She blinks. "Apologies, I blanked out."
"It's alright."
You don't say her name, she's just a bit slightly dissapointed. But it was never shown in her face.
You hand over the dessert you made for her, she takes it. You studied Ruan Mei's personal favorite desserts, food, tea and how it's all tailored to Ruan Mei's tastes. Your cooking is always bound to be above her expectations.
She takes a bite of the cake and you see her lips curl up by two milimeters, which sounds a lot.
"...Would like me to share?" She must've noticed you staring at her, you shake your head at the offer. "I mean no harm, I simply want to share my food to you, is that alright?"
You obey her regardless...
She looks at her research paper, at the table, only to get a headache since none if it provided her help towards her goal. She opts focusing on you instead.
"Here, say ahh..." Using the spoon, she takes a good amount of portion of the cake and tried to feed you with it like you're a baby.
"Ruan Mei, that is a bit... Embarrassing..."
You said her name, she relishes.
"It's fine, you only deserve, after all the times you helped me, come on, you don't need to lift a finger." She pushes the spoon to your lips, so you awkwardly open your mouth and the cake enters.
"...Say my name." She orders, but your eating something... That's not a problem, right?
"Ruan Mei, wh—Mmph!?"
She intrudes, exploring your mouth with her tongue, feeling the food that you personally made for her, she takes a part of it, and exits your mouth.
She swallows the cake with your saliva coatted in it then licks her lips. "Mm. Delectable." She nods, as if she's rating the experience with 4.5 stars.
You were left there with a dumbfounded expression, confused, perhaps even grossed out.
It's fine, brainwashing isn't hard to conduct, you'll forget this ever happened in no time. Just as how you forgot you were trapped in her home against your will in the first place.
a/n: mmm... manipulative women... 😋
#leaf—.writes.txt#yandere honkai star rail#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#honkai star rail#honkai sr#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yanderes x reader#yandere drabble#yandere headcannons#topaz#hsr topaz#topaz and numby#jade#hsr jade#ruan mei#hsr ruan mei#yandere topaz#yandere jade#yandere ruan mei#topaz x reader#jade x reader#ruan mei x reader#dead dove do not eat
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HIYYYAAAA
JUST SAW THE FLRITY PROMPTS EVENT!
What do you say about Lilia with "Don't bite your lip, I want to do that."
I would say hgghh💕💖❤️
summary: "don't bite your lip, I want to do that" type of post: short fic characters: lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is kinda implied to be yuu but doesn't have to be, not proofread, Lilia is shamelessly flirty thank u a part of this event
There are very few things that still manage to catch Lilia by surprise.
At his age, he's simply running out of new experiences; school, politics, even the wonderful world of the internet have started becoming monotonous and boring, leaving him in a slump.
Perhaps, then, that's why he's taken such an interest in you.
Such an intriguing little creature, he thinks, watching you from the shadows of the Diasomnia lounge.
You'd come by to drop something off for Malleus, the sweet thing that you are, and, once again, Lilia finds himself shamelessly staring.
He knows he shouldn't, but, oh, he truly can't help himself!
He inches closer. Lilia can't help but wonder what sort of noise you'll make when he startles you this time. A gasp? A shout, perhaps? Maybe even a cute little squeak... the thought of that is strangely exciting to him.
Only one way to find out.
He drops out of the shadows, blocking you from the exit just as you turn towards it. "Hello!"
And... Nothing.
You smile. "Ah... hello again, Lilia. Did Malleus tell you I was coming?"
His arms fall to his sides with a pout. Nothing? Nothing at all? You look at him like he has something stuck in his teeth.
"He may have mentioned," Lilia sighs. "You're impossible to tease these days. It's quite disappointing, really."
You smile slightly, much to his bemusement. He hates letting you have the upper hand... "Maybe I've started anticipating your pranks. You'll just need to find some new material,"
New material...? He scoffs. You're not even the least bit concerned about him!
"It used to be so easy to get a rise out of you. Humans change far too fast," he laments.
"Now I'll never get to see that flustered look on your face ever again! Or I'll have to come up with something new to tease you with..."
"Orrrr... you could just not tease me at all?"
He chuckles, shaking his head as if you had just said something ridiculous. "With your precious reactions? Impossible!"
You sigh.
Lilia tuts, tapping his chin as if lost in deep thought. He circles you once, twice, then stops in front of you.
"I can't think of anything," he sighs dramatically. "It'll come to me later... Is that uniform new?"
"Oh, uh..." you mutter, caught off guard by the sudden change in topic. You turn around yourself in a circle. How cute.
"Well, it's the same uniform, but I got my measurements taken at Pomefiore, and they they got me a better fitting one."
"I can tell,"
He hums pleasantly, dragging his eyes over your body. "They did a wonderful job accentuating your features,"
You huff and look away, much to his delight, clearly taken by surprise by his change in tone.
"...Thank you,"
"Fufufu. Don't mention it," Lilia says, eyes narrowing. "You don't get complimented very much, do you?"
"Not regularly,"
"I could surmise as much. Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're almost flustered by little old me. Is that right?"
Hook, line, and sinker. Your eyes widen as you realize that you've walked right into his trap. "Oh, no, no. I'm not. I'm fine!"
"Really? Don't get shy on me, now. I'm beginning to like this even more than scaring you,"
He takes a step forward, drinking in the sight of you, your body's nervous reactions to his teasing. "How cute,"
"Tease," you say, biting the corner of your lip.
You back yourself against the wall of the lounge, to his absolute delight, and he takes that as an invitation to get closer.
"That I am," Lilia admits without a hint of shame. "But don't bite your lip... I want to do that."
That long sought-after squeak finally escapes you, music to his ears, and he leans closer. For a moment, it seems like he's about to close the distance between you... then, at the last second, he pulls back.
He chuckles. "Oh, what fun! I haven't felt so young in ages. But I do have other business to attend to,"
And so, Lilia leaves you stunned, trembling against the wall as he merrily walks off before you seem to come to your senses.
"Vanrouge, you little shit! Get back here!"
A slight giggle escapes him as he starts off running, with you not far behind. He was right; this is much, much more rewarding than scaring you.
Maybe, if you make another one of those cute noises, he'll even let you catch him.
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Reverse Isekai Genshin Shenanigans #2
Characters: Venti, Kaeya, Diluc, Xingqiu, Zhongli
---------------------------------------------------------
"Is everything to your liking, Venti?" you asked.
"Oh none of that, [Y/N]," Venti responded with a small smile. "No need to be so formal around me."
The two of you were currently in the living room of your apartment. Since Venti was here, you had planned on showing him some of the stuff around your place. As for how Venti got here in the first place...
It's kind of a long story.
But to make that story short, Venti told you that Albedo and the Traveler had been working on a device that can establish a linked portal between Teyvat and Earth. From what you understand, it's kind of how you are able to access Teyvat on your computer, but this time it's the other way around.
It's honestly surprising how quickly it took them to reach you.
"However," Venti began, raising a finger. "Before you show me any more stuff, do you by chance happen to have any wine around? I am quite curious to see how your world's wine holds up to Mondstadt's."
You shook your head. "Nope. Sorry, I don't drink."
"You don't?!" Venti gasped. "Well that's no fun! Life is so much better when indulging in fabulous wine."
"My liver would say otherwise." you quipped.
Venti, ignoring you, continued. "It's unfortunate, really. And I was just beginning to get my hopes up high," he sighed. "But alas, I guess a bard's stomach will have to go empty for now."
You could tell that he was joking, but you still felt like helping him out. He was your guest, after all.
Luckily, your apartment was in the middle of a shopping complex.
"How about this. There's a wine store nearby. I can walk down and grab you something. Would that be alright?"
Venti's eyes are shining so bright you nearly covered your eyes to stop from going blind.
"Ohoho, really now?" he smirks, before giving a Knight of Favonius salute. "Lead the way then, [Y/N]. I shall be right behind you."
You sighed. "No, Venti. I can't risk you being seen by other people. Just tell me what you want and I'll go get it."
"Not a chance!" he happily exclaimed, skipping towards the door. "A decision of great importance should be trusted with an expert connoisseur such as myself."
He opened the door and gestured you towards the empty hallway. "After you, dear [Y/N]."
...
The God of Freedom has restrictions when it comes to purchasing wine apparently.
---------------------------------------------------------
"I must say, [Y/N]. Your place certainly is interesting. It's both familiar and exotic."
You raised a skeptical brow at the calvary captain. "Should I be taking that as a compliment or...?"
In response, Kaeya chuckled. "I simply mean that it's unique. Let's leave it at that."
You slowly nodded. Kaeya was a hard person to read, but you think he meant it as a complement.
...You think.
"However, before we continue, do you have any drinks on hand. I'm getting a bit thirsty."
You nodded politely. "Of course, I'll go get you something right away!"
You quickly walked to the kitchen and opened your fridge. "What would you like? I've got water, milk, juice, soda..."
Kaeya thought for a second. "Do you have any wine?"
...
Goddammit.
You loudly sighed. "First of all, I don't drink. Second of all, Venti made me spend nearly $100 at the wine store, and I didn't even get to keep any of it!"
Kaeya pondered in thought some more. "A wine store...?"
Oh no.
"No..." you warned. "Don't you even think about getting me to spend more money."
Kaeya merely brought a hand to his hip, "But I am a guest, am I not? It is common courtesy for the guest to be treated respectively after all."
...
You hate it when they're right.
You sighed again. "Fine..."
Kaeya softly smiled. "Excellent. I can't wait to see what they have to offer."
Thankfully, Kaeya was nice enough to settle for only one wine bottle.
---------------------------------------------------------
"I'm sorry if this isn't to your liking, Master Diluc."
"Please, [Y/N]. Just Diluc is fine. No need for formalities when we're not in Teyvat."
He began to look around at his surroundings.
"Though I am curious as to why you decided to bring me to a restaurant of all places."
"Because you didn't want to go to the wine store." you replied, deadpan. "Which honestly surprises me considering you own the biggest winery in Mondstadt."
Diluc did not look impressed. "I've seen enough wine in my life already, it does not make any difference if I go see anymore."
You shrugged your shoulders. "Suit yourself."
You looked back down at the menu in your hands, reading its contents for something good to order.
"...Is there another reason why you brought me here?"
You looked up at him. "...I mean yeah, there is, but it's nothing important."
Diluc crossed his arms. "Oh? What is it?"
You pointed to the top of his menu. "It's the name of the restaurant."
He looked down towards the menu and read the name. "Firebirds? What of it?"
You tilted your head. "...You don't get it?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Get what?"
"Ah, forget it," you waved a hand. "I just thought it was something funny."
---------------------------------------------------------
"Where are we heading, my liege?"
"Somewhere I think you'll really like."
The two of you walked through the front doors and stopped just a few steps afterward. To the naked eye, books upon books laid upon rows and rows of shelves.
As expected of a library.
You looked at Xingqiu and couldn't help but chuckle at the wide-eyed expression he was giving. His mouth also hung open comically.
"Easy now, Xingqiu, don't go drooling all over the floor now." You turned and pointed towards the front desk. "I figure that this place might be too big for you to handle so I trust that any questions you have you'll ask the librari- aaannnnnnnnnd he's gone."
...
You looked away for five seconds and you've already lost the book lover.
Is this how parents feel whenever they lose sight of their kids?
You couldn't help but chuckle as you shook your head. You suppose this was to be expected after all. When Xingqiu sets his sights on a book of choice, there's not much that will drag him away from it.
Knowing that he had no reason to leave the library, you began walking around the building searching for him.
You did find him after a few minutes. He had grabbed a seat on top of a beanbag and was nose deep in a book in his hands. Stacked next to him were a ton of other books that he presumably collected.
However, as you walked closer to him, you could see a troubled expression on his face.
"Is something wrong?" you questioned.
Xingqiu lowered the book from his face. "Sorry, my liege, I seem to be unable to read this. I can't understand any of the words."
...
Ah crap, you forgot about that.
"Do you think you could read this to me?" he asked, handing the book to you.
You nodded. "Sure, I can do that."
Book in hand, you plopped down on another beanbag next to him and started to read. You had no other plans for the day, so you were fine with hanging around the library for a little bit.
---------------------------------------------------------
You didn't feel like going out today. It didn't matter who asked, you were exhausted.
"Hmmm..."
Even if that someone was an over 6,000-year old retired Archon.
To be quite frank, you were terrified to be in Zhongli's presence. Sure, this isn't the first Archon you've met in person, but Venti does a superb job at hiding his status. Nobody can take a look at him and think that he's an Archon.
Zhongli on the other hand, has this imposing aura around him. How does Hu Tao not feel threatened by this man?
"So this is where you're able to guide us from?"
You nodded. "Yes sir."
After showing Zhongli around your apartment, he expressed an interest in seeing the device you use to guide them. Not thinking ahead, and because you were terrified of telling an Archon 'no', you agreed.
...Okay, you did try to tell Venti 'no', but that's different!
Now, you were frantically trying to piece together a convincing story about how your guidance is not part of a video game and everything that they've come to know was written, modeled, and designed by a company. Existential crisis are not fun to deal with.
However, Zhongli isn't stupid. There's a high percent chance he'll see through your lies.
...Basically, you're fucked.
You focused back on the computer. The main menu was playing. You sneaked a peak at Zhongli. He appeared to be lost in thought.
"Need me to explain anything?" you asked, hesitantly.
Zhongli nodded. "Please."
You sighed. Here goes nothing.
"So to start things off, there's this company called Hoyoverse. This company is responsible for maintaining a stable connection between here and Teyvat. That's why you saw their name appear on the screen earlier. This down here is the region that the connection is held. If I click on that, I'm able to change to another region. However, I'm gonna keep it on this one since I get the best connection from there."
"Then below that is my User ID. Going back to Hoyoverse for a moment, it's not just one connection they're responsible for. They're able to hold thousands of connections at once."
You saw Zhongli open his mouth so you stopped talking for a moment. "But I've never known anyone other than you guiding us. How can it be that there are multiple connections to the same place?"
You shook your head. "No, it's not multiple connections to one Teyvat. It's multiple connections to different Teyvats. Think of it as parallel universes if you will. Through this connection, I am able to guide people such as you. However, through another connection, someone else is able to guide another Zhongli. Does that make sense?"
You nearly breathed a sigh of relief when he nodded his head. "I see. Please, continue."
"Right. Next, you have these two buttons over here. If I click on the top one, you'll see ways to interact with other connection members as well as the company itself. Also, you have the fair use statement and terms of service. These are just the rules I need to follow while guiding you guys. If I break any of these rules, my access is revoked and the connection gets terminated."
Zhongli looks at the screen for a brief period before turning to you with his arms crossed. "You say these are rules."
You nodded. "Yes sir."
"...They sound more like contracts to me."
...
"I mean..." you scratched the back of your neck. "I wouldn't say contracts, per se. I guess you could call them... agreements?"
Zhongli raised an eyebrow. "So now they're agreements?"
...
Welp. It was a good run while it lasted.
You sighed heavily and lowered your head in shame. "No. You're right. They're contracts."
Zhongli nodded in agreement. "As I thought."
"Sorry." you apologized.
...
"Do you know what is listed in the contracts?"
You looked up at Zhongli. He still bore a curious expression on his face. There wasn't any anger nor frustration hinted anywhere.
"Ummm... Not really."
Zhongli was quick to furrow his eyebrows. Okay, now he's looking a bit mad. "You signed a contract without reading its contents?"
You scooched your chair a tiny bit away from Zhongli to give you some more space. "Well I mean, yeah, but I'm not the only one who does that. Everyone does! Nobody's got the time nor the patience to read all of that legal jargon."
Zhongli's eyebrows furrowed even further. You might be overexaggerating out of fear, but he looks absolutely pissed. Now would be the best time to make a smart life decision.
"Oh please, Rex Lapis," you pleaded, kneeling on the floor with your hands pressed together in prayer. "I beg for forgiveness, O merciful Archon."
"Spare me your theatrics."
You winced. That didn't work out as well as you hoped.
A couple of seconds passed by before Zhongli let out a deep sigh. "I don't know what you were thinking when you decided to blindly sign multiple contracts.
...
"However, I am willing to go through each contract for you and teach you of anything you should be aware of for now and for the foreseeable future."
...
"...Huh...?"
"You mean... I'm not gonna suffer the Wrath of the Rock?"
"The Wrath of the Rock??" Zhongli asks, flabbergasted. "Did you really think I was going to hurt you?"
...
"Yes..." you answered, meekly.
Zhongli's face softened before he placed a hand on your shoulder. "I would never harm you nor let anyone bring harm you, [Y/N]. I'd be a fool to do so after all that you have done for my friends, for Liyue, and for Teyvat."
He gave a soft smile. "I'm just letting you know that you should be more careful while signing any contracts in the future. You never know if you're getting a fair agreement if you never read its contents."
You nodded, smile also on your face. "Yes sir, I'll read every contract from now on, sir."
"Good. Now then, would you kindly read the contents of each contract to me. I'll stop you if I need to mention anything worth noting."
You spent the next couple of hours going over each contract, taking notes on anything Zhongli deemed worth remembering. You guess that showing him the actual game will come at a later time.
---------------------------------------------------------
Author Side Notes: Wow that Zhongli bit took up a lot of this. In all honesty, it could probably be it's own thing separate from all of the other shenanigans.
By the way, I imagine that Zhongli uses reading glasses. I don't know why I think that, but I feel like it suits him for some reason.
#genshin impact#genshin reverse isekai#reverse isekai#reverse isekai genshin#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#genshin venti#genshin kaeya#genshin diluc#genshin xingqiu#genshin zhongli
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OKAY, AND SO?
It's been a while since I made an actual post but anyways, here's one for those who find the 3D or circumstances annoying or frustrating.
Personally I also tend to fall into this trap and end up getting distracted by unwanted circumstances and annoying negative doubts and thoughts that pop up in my head, and then start spiraling into this self-sabotaging routine. So I had to reframe my mindset. I cannot be thinking like this anymore or it will just be a vicious cycle where I'm seemingly "stuck" in the 3D.
I am sure we all know by now that the 3D - the physical reality, the circumstances, the mirror, whatever you call it, is completely changeable and malleable. Okay fine, you know that the 3D can be changed, but now it's all up in your face and you can't seem to stop being bothered about it. How are we supposed to go around this then?
Whenever I see something I don't like in the 3D or negative thoughts start to pop up in my head, I just tell myself "Okay, and so?" Because they really do not matter, they literally have NOTHING to do with my 4D and whatever is going in my imagination at all! Since you know the 3D is simply just a mirror, does it really matter in the first place? NO!
And I know many other bloggers also say the exact same thing regarding the 3D, but after giving it much thought, it really is that simple and I feel that even I have been overcomplicating it this whole time!
My main point is do not get distracted by the 3D, and DO NOT GIVE UP. I know circumstances and the 3D can be shit and you absolutely hate it to the core, but if you know how the law works, then DO NOT GIVE UP!!
You had negative thought. Okay, so? You spiralled. Okay, so? Your 3D showed something opposite to your desires. Okay, so? Do these really matter? NO!
So MOVE ON AND CONTINUE TO ENJOY IN IMAGINATION WHEN YOU CAN! You don't have to be perfect as long as you know you're still on the right track!
#law of assumption#loassumption#manifestation#neville goddard#loa#edward art#living in the end#self concept#master manifestor#manifesting
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Missed Messages
Lucifer x reader
~ You have always tried to be self sufficient and fight your own battles. But when you reach your breaking point, you find yourself alone.
Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, physical and emotional feelings of stress, reader getting treated poorly for being a human, group projects.
~2.9k
You feel like there is a little stress demon bouncing around your chest. In the human world, group projects were annoying, and unfortunately, they still exist in hell.
For one of your classes, you were paired up with Olivier, a Greater demon from one of the Devildom's wealthy families, and his companions. Right from the get-go, he made it very clear that he had no intention of working on a project with a filthy human and that if you were to say anything about his refusal, it would make Diavolo's exchange program look bad if it appeared that the demons at RAD were not being accepting of humans.
At first, you thought his threat was silly. That he was simply a slacker who wanted to get out of work. But after a while, you realized that Olivier has a strong distaste for humans and could have the influence to cause problems for the exchange program if you were to speak out against his behaviors.
So, you put on your best face and ignored his prejudiced behavior. The subtle comments he would make under his breath when you asked questions in class, the way he would cleanse his hand with fire magic after coming into contact with something you had touched, and the way conversations would die out whenever you entered a room without one of the brothers, the Angels, or Diavolo himself by your side.
You have been tirelessly working on this massive project all by yourself; it has stolen all of your free time, and feelings of sardonic frustration are just welling up inside of you. Now, just like the too-heavy book bag that clings to your shoulder, You are nearing your breaking point.
The House of Lamination is a safe haven for you after your tiring days at RAD, but right as you enter through its massive double doors, you come face to face with Lucifer. The Avatar of Pride greets you with a loving expression, but he looks just as exhausted as you feel.
"Mc? Is something troubling you?" he asks, taking in your downcast features with a frown. You want to tell him of your little problem, but he is ridiculously busy and probably has more important things to do than dealing with your inability to play nice with others.
After all, a classmate not liking you is no excuse for you to receive a poor grade on your project…
"Not at all," you reply, flashing him a sweet, convincing smile. "I'm just getting a bit hangry, I can't wait for dinner tonight."
"I see," he says doubtfully.
"How are you doing?" you ask, changing the subject. 'You look a bit stressed."
"Is it that obvious?" he chuckles, raking his hand through his raven-colored hair. "Apparently, those rubber duck toys from the human world have become quite popular in the Devildom, and Lord Diavolo thought it would be fun to give them out at RAD. So now I am going through the student council finances to determine how many ducks and varieties we need."
"Sounds complicated, but why you?"
"No clue," he sighs, "But he seems to think that I have a hidden fondness for these toys."
"Well, I'm sure this Rubber Duck event will go off without a hitch," you say earnestly. "You are so organized and capable you can make anything successful."
"Do you really mean that?" he asks, a smile gracing his fine features. You nod as he gives you a soft peck on the forehead as thanks for your kind words. "I have to work through this paperwork now, but I feel more inclined to do it after your encouragement, Mc."
"Wait," you call after him. "You better make it down for dinner tonight then; if you don't, I will personally invite Solomon to come and prepare the next meal."
His eyes widen as a shudder courses through his strong back. "There's no need for that. I promise to be down for dinner."
~
Hours later, everyone is gathered around the dinner, eating some kind of Devildom variation of lasagna that Satan made.
Beel has a whole sheet pan to himself and is chowing down as he and Belphie seem to be having a telepathic conversation that no one at the table is able to decipher. Lucifer is at the head of the table, keeping true to his promise of joining you, but he is eating quickly, clearly in a rush.
Asmodeus sits to your right, talking animatedly about something that happened today when he was at the mall, you're sure it's an entertaining story based on the reactions of the others, but you are too lost in thought, poking at your dinner plate with a silver fork.
Although you have been working on your project for days, there is no way you are going to finish the damn thing on time. This workload was meant for a large group, not just one human.
"Mc? What are ya thinkin' about?" Mammon asks, stirring you from your thoughts. "Ya haven't touched yer dinner."
"Satan looks up at you from across the table. "Do you not care for this dish?" he asks. "I could make you something else if you would prefer it?" his dejection breaks your heart.
You shake your head quickly. "No, not at all," you say. "I love it; the sauce is really creamy, I just got distracted."
"Oh, I see." he nods as you take a bite of his dish. "I'm relieved."
"Gahhhh," Levi cries from his seat as he sets his game console down on the table. His screen flashing red tells you that he has just failed the level he was on. "I can't believe it, I was so close."
"Leviathan, what did I say about playing video games at the dinner table?" Lucifer asks the purple-haired demon sternly.
"N-not to." he sulks, slipping the little handheld off the table and into his deep jacket pocket.
"Thank you," the eldest responds. He clears his throat to get the attention of everyone. "Now, if I could just have a second of your time."
"One," Belphie deadpans, looking at his older brother. They hold eye contact, and it is clear the youngest is struggling to keep a straight face at his joke.
"Anyways," the taller demon continues, "I have a very important task to finish tonight, and I will need absolutely-"
"That's two seconds now." Satan interrupts with a snicker.
Lucifer, with the wisdom and patience of the oldest sibling, chooses to ignore the teasing and continue with what he is saying. "As I was saying, I require peace and quiet to complete these documents, so I will now be returning to my study and enchanting the door with a noise-canceling spell. I do not wish to be disturbed, so please only contact me if it is an emergency."
"Wait? So we jus can do whatever we wanna do tonight?" Mammon asks, his eyes sparkle with mischievous greed as he imagines the possibilities before him.
"Within reason, Mammon," Lucifer's crimson glare shoots to all his brothers. "But if I find out that any of you decided to waste your free time running about the Devildom causing problems, rest assured, I will punish you using everything at my disposal." The room falls silent as the Avatar of Pride rises from his seat and turns to leave. His massive cape swishes dramatically as he walks out the dining room doors.
Unsurprisingly, Asmo is the first to spring from his seat. His arms wrap around you as you inhale his sweet peach-scented cologne. "Mc, come to my room. I have the cutest top you can wear tonight when you go to the club with me." he purrs into the shell of your ear.
"No way," Mammon objects. "The human is gonna come to the Casino with the Great Mammon tonight."
Before the two demons try to drag you across the Devildom to party, you object. "Actually, I have a project to work on," you say, standing. "But you guys have fun."
"Wait, Mc," Beel asks softly, his big eyes full of hope. "Belphie and I were gonna go get some shaved ice for dessert. Would you like to join us?"
Your heart flutters tenderly at the Avatar of Gluttony's request, but the stress you are feeling is hitting you ten-fold. "I wish I could, Beel. But I really have to get my assignment done."
"May I join you two?" Satan asks. "I find myself in the mood for dessert."
"Me too," Levi quips.
"Sounds like a plan," Belphie says, looking at you with a pout. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"
"I'm positive," you reply, giving them your most convincing smile. "Now, you guys should go before the shop closes for the night." Beel's eyes go wide with worry, and he hastily leaves the room. As the others follow him out.
Now alone, your body begins to tremble under the stress of the deadline looming over your head. The walk back to your desk is a long one, and tears begin to wheel in your eyes as you stare down at your assignment rubric and wonder how, in the three realms, you are going to be able to finish this project on time.
~
It's been hours of working. Stressing, erasing, and overthinking and you feel like you are nearing your wits end.
Your screen lights up with a message from Asmodeus. When you open it is a video attachment. Clicking on it you see that the 6 brothers are sharing a lush VIP booth at the Fall. "I wish you were hereeeee," Asmo yells into the speaker just above the thrumming base that belphie manages to sleep through peacefully. Their cheeks are ruddy from demonus, and they have the happiest smiles on their faces.
It brings a smile to your face as you rewatch the video. Just behind Mammon, you see a figure that has you seeing red.
He is double-fisting some kind of green demonus and wearing a ridiculous hat, but you see your classmates, the demon Olivier and the rest of your 'group' out partying without a care in the world.
While you are at home, working tirelessly on their project.
Something inside of you just shatters, and you turn away from your desk and throw yourself onto your bed. The soft pillows muffle your cries of frustration. Your DDD feels like a brick in your hand as you raise it to your eye level.
Your tired face stares back at you on the black screen, and you feel so alone.
You need to talk to someone…
But it's the middle of the night, Simeon and Solomon have gone to bed hours ago and Diavolo and Barbatos are off at a diplomatic conference. You know in your heart that Lucifer is still awake, hunched over his desk as he works through his mountain of paperwork.
Although he said he did not want to be disturbed, your feelings are too severe.
This feels like an emergency.
You call him, wanting to at least hear the soothing sound of his voice. The Dial Tone rings once, twice, thrice… but he doesn't pick up.
You sit there, listening to the dull sound of his answering machine. "I guess even in Hell, I have to leave voicemails," you murmur, waiting for the beep.
"Hey… It's me," you say into the speaker. It's a struggle to keep your voice steady. "I know it's late, and you have lots to do, but if you get this, could you ple-please come here. I just really need someone to talk to right now."
Just voicing your struggle is enough to send tears trickling down your face, and you quickly hang up the phone before you let out one of those raspy, croaking sounds loose from your throat.
Exhaustion courses through your body as you give up on completing the group project for the night. Perhaps when you wake tomorrow, you will have the energy to pretend your problems don't exist.
~
Lucifer wakes up with his head against the polished mahogany of his desk. A bit of drool wetting the surface as he runs his hands through his hair. "What time is it?" he mutters groggily, reaching out blindly for his DDD.
He pats the empty surface and sits up straighter. Finding that his device is not in its usual place on his desk. His brow furrows as he begins to look through the mountain of papers, trying not to ruffle the organized stacks that he completed earlier before dozing off.
Minutes later of flipping and straightening, he finds it under the center stack and sees that it is flooded with pictures from his brothers, who look like they had a great, but expensive, night out together.
It brings a warm smile to his lips when he sees their cheesing faces. But then he notices another notification he hadn't seen before. "Mc sent me a voicemail?" He clicks play.
"Hey… It's me. I know it's late and you have lots to do, but if you get this could you ple- please come here. I just really need someone to talk to right now." your voice sounds so weak and shaky it fills him with dread.
How could he have missed this?
He stands abruptly, papers flying everywhere from the movement, but he really couldn't care less.
You need him.
You needed him last night and he wasn't there for you.
He has to find you, hold you, and do whatever he can to make you feel better.
~
Apparently, falling asleep after hitting an emotional low does not constitute the most restful sleep. Your neck feels stiff as you pull your head up from your pillows. The fabric is still slightly damp from your tears the night before. There's this icky feeling in your chest, but it doesn't seem to go away. It only intensifies when you look over at your desk, your unfinished project littering the once pristine space.
Your door flies open suddenly as a gust of air reaches your skin. Lucifer stands in the doorway tensely. He looks ragged, tired, and his deep crimson eyes are muddled with heartbreaking concern. You immediately remember the voicemail that you sent him the night before
You stressed him out; you have to fix this.
"Good morning, Lucifer," you smile. But it doesn't reach your eyes. He can see through your little act. "I didn't mean to worry you with that voicemail; it was really nothing."
"What's wrong?" he says, coming forward, closing that painful distance with determination. His hand cupping your cheek, forcing you to meet his eyes.
It's funny how one simple touch has your self-assured act crumbling to the ground like a poorly constructed house of cards.
You find yourself spilling every detail to him, your exhaustion, the group project, the ostracization from your groupmates, and how you saw that they were out at the club last night."
All the while, Lucifer nods along with your story, his thumb gently running along your cheek in a soothing motion. His actions are caring and tender toward you, but there is a fire blazing in his eyes reserved for someone else. You may not know it yet, but Olivier’s days of comfort are numbered.
"Why didn't you tell me of this before," he asks softly once you finish your explanation. "Why did you take this burden upon yourself?"
"I was worried, "you admit. "I heard that Olivier comes from an influential family. If I said anything, he could cause problems for the exchange program that you and Diavolo have worked so hard for."
"Mc, I promise you, that little rat was greatly exaggerating his self-importance." Lucifer's hand rubs gentle circles into your back. "If anything, you have far more influence in Devildom politics than he does," he adds with an amused chuckle. "
"He's still a jerk, though." you sniffle, wiping your eyes. "Thank you for coming here to cheer me up."
"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner," he murmurs. "You needed me, and I let you down; please let me make it up to you today."
"You have nothing to make up for," you start, glancing back at your table. "Besides, I have to finish that project before tomorrow."
"Absolutely not," he says abruptly. "You will not lay a finger on that project since clearly you have done more than your share. I will make sure Lord Diavolo hears of this situation and you receive full marks on the work you have already done. I need you to know that you can rely on me. No matter how busy I am, I should never be too busy to come to your aid."
"I love you," you sigh, feeling the burdens lifting off your chest and disappearing into nothingness. "But I should've told you sooner. What do you think will happen to the rest of my group?"
He smiles and kisses the top of your head; as you lean into his touch, you don't see the dark look on his features. "Don't worry about them, Mc, I'll make sure they never cause you pain ever again. Now, let's get changed; I'll take you to that new cafe that opened up to Majolish and enjoy the rest of the day.
Tagging: @enchantedforest-network
#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me#obey me x mc#obey me lucifer#lucifer x mc#lucifer x reader#lucifer fluff#x reader
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𝙎𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙮 𝙂𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨
Jung Woo-Young x fem!reader
Being forced by his label to learn English fucking sucks but his tutor makes it just a little more bearable
Warnings: Wooyoung as his own warning, Language, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Idol x English!Teacher, Sapiosexual!Wooyoung, Slight!Jealousy, Academia Talk, Humor, Teasing, Smut (+18), heavy make out sesh, Slight Pervy!Wooyoung, Whimpering!Wooyoung, Dirty Talk, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Dry Humping, Grinding, Brattiness, Self Degradation, Neediness, Slight Dub/CON, Dom/Sub undertones
Ft. Wooyoung and his canonical degradation kink
"What you need to understand is that Shakespeare used a significant amount of his time cautioning his audience against the perils of this mortal coil." Despite your vexation warming the pits of your stomach, you're thankful that your voice does not relay how utterly irritated you actually are. Your back is straight, giving nothing away of your exhaustion as you point to your copy of a Literature textbook.
"So, maybe I should've initially explained that the biggest theme of this sonnet is grief," you explain, drearily, letting your fingers knot into your curls as you soldier on through the text.
You could almost hear your coworkers discrediting you right now. How could one manage to hit the holy grail in getting chosen to tutor a bunch of stars and utterly fail at it in the process? Your PhD is mourning her sorrows.
"That is bad tutoring on my part, I apologise, Mr Jung, Sir," it is virtually impossible to bend into a full on bow in your current position on the chair adjacent to his bed so you settle for a quick nod of the head while skilfully avoiding eye contact.
"That's okay," Wooyoung lazily waves a hand in front of his face, "I just nearly threw up from hearing you call me 'Mr Jung'. Girl, I cried during Frozen 1 and 2... I am not the one you should be calling Mr Jung."
His ears visibly perk up just a little higher at the sound of your unprofessional, slightly airy chuckle. It has him practically scrounging for the need to hear you laugh like that again, to see your head be thrown back in a careless guffaw that only he is able to see.
But the moment ends as quickly as it began and you're visibly punishing yourself for your unprofessionalism by assuming your stoic academic role demeanour more.
"I think Mr Jung might be a little bit more professional." You finally look up at the boy sitting lazily against the headboard of his impressive king sized bed. Out of all the members you taught, you had only ever been permitted to see the inside of Wooyoung's bedroom - under the guise that he simply cannot function by being forced to sit on uncomfortable dining room chairs.
You sit opposite the bed, on a chair, to maintain some semblance of your dwindling professionalism,
"Mr Jung is so boring though!" He exclaims, throwing his head backwards and letting it sink into his mountain of fluffy pillows, "Wooyoung is completely fine! Or perhaps Baby. Or even Sexiest Man You've Ever Had The Pleasure Of Seeing," his lips curl into a smirk, "Your choice."
The text book is long forgotten amongst the dispersed sheets as Wooyoung glances up at you from his perch against his pillows. Of all the members, Wooyoung is also especially difficult to work with, not in any academic capacity, just in the sense that his advances are endless. And whether he actually means it - whether that twinkle in his eye accompanied by that cheeky grin was really real, or just endless teasing due to his innate flirtatious design. You might never really know.
"I can't in good conscious refer to you by that last option." You reply with a light shrug before crossing your legs in front of you, "I've met Choi San, and I'm not in the business of lying to you,"
"Oh! That's how we're gonna play now!? You're just gonna bring up another man in my presence? I thought the relationship we had was something special?"
"I'm an underpaid, mediocre teacher," You forget yourself and snort through a chuckle, "I have no time to forge special relationships."
He is stunned and slightly turned on by your cool commitment to the banter, not expecting you to hit back with such a quick jest.
As Wooyoung watches you from behind the few loose strands framing his face, his long hair loose, he realises he enjoys associating you with that forbidden word, even if it is just in his head.
Relationship.
"I'm not really into that negative self-talk." He says, watching you intently, "You're a good teacher."
"You're just saying that," You swat at the air in front of you, before burying your chin into your chest - that shy streak of yours rearing its head. He noticed that every sliver of a compliment led you to the involuntary need to disappear and Wooyoung wanted to correct that as best as he could.
"I say some stuff sometimes to make people feel better, yes," you finally look up at him from your scattered notes. His eyes are characteristically bright and his glistening lips are pulled into a small smile, "But this is not one of those times," He forces out, fighting against a familiar warmth pooling in the depths of his stomach.
"Right," you clear your throat, before assuming the role of tutor once again, "So… Sonnet 71 -"
In your periphery, Wooyoung raises his hand. Without looking up from your notes you reply, 'I know what you're gonna ask, Wooyoung but no, unfortunately you cannot refer to it as 'Sonnet 71'. Not many people care nowadays but the ones that do, want you to refer to the poem by its full title: 'No Longer Mourn For Me When I Am Dead.'" there's a bravado that graces your tone as you settle into your tutelage. It allows you to assume an almost elevated role as your eyes scan the text while simultaneously stringing a web of tantalising words together.
Wooyoung tries to focus on exactly what it is you're actually saying, he really does, but soon, you're stifling a quiet yawn before stretching your left arm over your head. He does not believe you intended for your breasts to push up from the low dip of your v neck, but that's exactly what happens and that pool of lava that has been welling in his stomach slowly rushes to his cock. Needless to say, Wooyoung slyly grabs the textbook onto his lap.
"So Shakespeare's great caution is that of grief. It's okay to mourn your loved ones but not to mourn them in routine, because that then can become a second death, equally as detrimental. Are you listening, Wooyoung?" his head snaps up from your chest, to the sound of the light scolding in your voice and he can instantly conclude that he is hard. He's not sure why, but your tone has his resolve weakening, and his head spiralling further into a fog.
"Please tell me, you're listening, Wooyoung. This is very important," He nods slowly with his shoulders hunched, and his eyebrows curved into crescents. He did not trust himself to speak, not when your words had him imagining you scolding him petulantly while he plowed into you from behind. Screaming at him to stop being so bad while he forced his hard cock deeper and deeper. He can vividly imagine your tight walls gripping his cock like a fucking vice while his fingers squeezed your nipples until they ached.
"Look, Wooyoung, I've been trying to be nice but it's been 3 hours and we're still on the first sonnet," he stopped his head from nodding profusely at the degradation that wants to seep into your tone while he watches you with darkened eyes. His fingers curl slowly into the ends of the open book on his lap, as he pushes his textbook into his lap. "We've done this long enough, Wooyoung," you continue with your ample chest beginning to rise and fall and the first signs of your bra strap, peeling from underneath your top. "You should know this, Wooyoung"
"Fuck," He involuntary groans, while he moves his textbook slightly, enough to create friction but not nearly enough to achieve the friction he actually desires. Before he gets completely ahead of himself, he stills his movements, opting to distract himself by speaking, instead.
"O-okay but if this is a poem about grief, why the hell am I seeing him talk about summer."
"Summer?"
Wooyoung nods, humming. "This man is talking about summer," he says, pointing to the book on his lap.
"Wooyoung…" You instinctively get up from your perch on your chair, advancing on him. Wooyoung visibly swallows as you plop yourself next to him, shoulder to shoulder as you peer over into the book on his lap. While your eyes frantically scan the printed ink, Wooyoung watches you from the side, trying to pen your face to memory, especially from having you so close.
"Wooyoung, this isn't the right poem!"
He watches you with slightly hooded eyes, completely unaware to anything outside of the tone of your voice
"It isn't?" He shakes his head, agreeing instantly with your scolding but not really hearing what you're saying. His words are slurred and his tone is distracted.
"Oh my gosh- you've completely missed the entire poem."
"I have?"
"Jesus, you haven't been listening to me, have you-"
He's already shaking his head as he leans in, muttering a quiet, "I haven't," as the tips of his fingers find the underside of your chin and drags you towards him. Dazed.
You're utterly dazed as soon as your lips connect with his. Somehow, the entire concept of space and time and everything in between seems utterly useless, the words on the page seem frivolous and everything outside of this moment feels like it shouldn't have the right to exist. He is kissing you and soon you are kissing him back, filling the boy with an unprecedented sense of elation at having his attraction to you validated. He is so elated in fact, he pushes off his text book and, without breaking the kiss, manoeuvres you onto his lap instead.
You're gasping into his mouth as soon as you feel his bulge connect with your core, "I know, I know, I'm sorry," He murmurs drunkenly into your kiss, taking the time to push his tongue into your mouth and brush up desperately against yours. The tone of his voice steals all composure, and soon you're pushing against him, rushed and hurried, like a raging fire before the embers set. You and Wooyoung are absolutely unstoppable as his hands travel up and down the sides of your body, hungrily searching for any sliver of skin, needing to feel your body heat searing into him.
The very moment your hands slither into his thick, grown-out hair, he is utterly done for, bucking into your hips until his bulge was brushing hungrily against your core. A torrid moan espaces your throat when Wooyoung dips into the crook of your neck, nuzzling into the softness of your skin and the comfort of your perfume while hands travel down your hips, urging you to move in tandem with him.
"So good," He mumbles against your skin, "You feel so good, baby." But your mind is flooded with a tempest of conflicting feelings and emotions as you pull lightly on his strands and follow along with his movements.
"Wooyoung…" you're panting breathlessly, suddenly painfully aware of how much your body responded to him.
"God, I love it when you say my name," He slurs as he continues to push up into you, finally settling into a needy but effective flow of movements.
Your panties are utterly soaked underneath your silk maxi skirt as the boy below you splays wet, lascivious kisses along your collar bones. Once he sees you're moving in tandem with how he needs you to, he releases one hand on your hip to paw desperately at your breasts.
"You've been-" your head is spinning as you try to formulate your sentence, "You've been sitting here with a hard on, my entire lesson?" Your words only spur his movements as Wooyoung clamps down around your torso, pushing you further down against his cock. "Fuck!" He screeches almost involuntarily at the delicious friction created by the heightened speed.
"So bad…" He murmurs drunkenly, as he begins to push up against your clit in a dangerous display of desperation, "I.. b-been so bad- m'sorry," Your head is thrown back into a moan stuck deep in your throat as you listen to the boy's needy whines, "m'so sorry, you're just so pretty," your hops move faster against his, not quite sure if this is a dream and too freaking terrified to find out as you hunt down the remnants of your oncoming orgasm.
"Wooyoung- you're gonna m-make me-"
Your hips are utterly restless against his, as you begin to grind down with immense passion. Wooyoung's head is spinning with the inevitability of making you cum. All he wants to do is make you happy. Think of how proud you'd be if he made you cum without even touching you really. You'd be so freaking happy you might just let him slide his cock inside your wet, slippery folds...
"O-Oh God, fuck- I'm cumming!" His hips rut erratically against yours, pushing agaisnt your clit until you're sent hurtling into your own orgasm. You're both moaning, whimpering messes as you grind against each other, Wooyoung clutching against your torso, with his head buried in your chest as your fingers pull mindlessly at his hair. He is in utter heaven, surrounded by the softness of your curves, with his head against the roundness of your chest. There is nothing better than this. Everything else is secondary.
"Fuck, I hate Shakespeare's but I'll read a 1000 of his poems if it means I get to do that again," he is the first to speak amongst your ragged, loud breathing.
"Wooyoung?"
"Hm?"
"Shakespeare only wrote 154 poems,"
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